Too Scary; Didn't Watch - FUNNY GAMES

Episode Date: January 13, 2021

An unsuspecting family, two polite psychopaths, and some games that are less funny than the title suggests - we're recapping Michael Haneke's 2007 remake of Funny Games! Will this movie surpass Event Horizon for Emily's most hated episode yet???  Follow the show: @TSDWpodcast on Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram. Check out our Patreon for bonus episodes and additional content! Rate Too Scary; Didn’t Watch 5 Stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Emily, Henley, and Sammy. Advertise on Too Scary; Didn't Watch via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Oh boy, everybody, we have a really great episode for you guys today. That's one way you could call it. That's one thing you could say. But before we get into what is undoubtedly Henley and Emily's favorite movie of all time, we got to shout out some of our patrons. And first up, we've got a new champion for actors' rights, holding down the fort maggie mccallister welcome maggie so happy to have you here welcome maggie um we're also happy to have this group of people who joined tony fucking colette's inner circle keeping it strong and building that inner circle tony is thrilled she told us all about it.

She's loving having all of you here. And you are Corey Trego-Urdner, Stella Malk, Lee Assef, Robin F., Sasha Holguin, Kiki Hedden, Haley Foley, Chelsea, Eric Rykin, and Lauren Connelly. Welcome. My favorite song.

I really thank you. And I did practice that song. And we also have a couple of people who have upgraded this week. They dipped their toe in our Patreon and they said, hey, let's dive right in head first. And that is Katie St. Germain

and Sophie Loh meyer welcome thank you for diving in thank you guys dipping a toe foot whole head wherever you're however much you're in that pool we're glad to have you we love you thank you so much for supporting us we it really means a lot and we are so sorry for what's about to happen. And here you go. Here you go. This is Emily, Henley, and Sammy, and you're listening to Too Scary, Didn't Watch. watch. Hi, everyone. Welcome to Too Scary Didn't Watch, the horror movie recap podcast for those too scared to watch for themselves. I'm Emily, and I am too scared to watch scary movies. I'm Henley, and I'm also too scared to watch scary movies.

I'm Sammy, and I like watching scary movies. And I got that thing Henley that you got one time where I got nervous that I was going to forget how to speak and where I was I just blacked out. Sometimes by the end of my intro I feel like I'm only listening to myself. I'm not speaking. Do you know what I mean? Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I just got pretty detached from the whole. Yes, it like gets away from me and I'm like not the one saying it it just is happening yeah I know there's always a fear that I'm gonna fuck up saying my

name I'm like you've said it so many times Henley you can say it one more time Henley Henley you've said it okay Henley I know it well we got through it we did the first part. I think we did great.

I think so far this is going really well. What's up with us? Well. Well. We had an interesting week here in the United States of America. How so? For those of you who may not have been following the news, there was an attack on our nation's capital that we all watched happen unfold in real time. And I think we're all still processing what happened.

Yeah, it was real surreal. Very bad. All around. I didn't very bad all around i didn't like it personally i like it if we're talking about the coup i didn't like it oh you're referencing the coup oh the coup not for me no it wasn't for me personally i'm gonna pass i'm gonna pass on the coup um it's fun to talk about these things lightly. Yeah, we love to laugh. We love to laugh about horrible violence. It really, um, no, but yeah, in all seriousness, I don't really know what to say about it. I think we're all just waiting to see how our Congress reacts, whether there's any actual clear action that's taken hopefully there is and

people are held accountable for their actions but we're at a weird turning point in our country and people not just not just civilian people like the people like politicians politicians that that their rhetoric is what led to this happening. There are many people in power. Yeah. Including the number one, number one guy in power. Including our number one guy. We love him.

We love him here on the pod. He's number one for us. He's number one. But this one time we do want him to be held accountable as much as he's our top guy. He's our top guy. It's our top guy. Oh, it's funny to laugh about it.

I really just similarly to my intro on this podcast, I get to a point where some of this stuff where I'm, I like, I'm S I feel separate from my body in my experiencing of it, which is kind of why sometimes I'm just like, isn't this? Because I just can't. Yeah, it's too much. It's too much to take in for real.

I feel it sitting on the top of my brain as if my brain is a frozen lake, you know? That's a perfect. I love that image. Yes. You can see it. I can see it, but it's not getting through. Yeah, it's not getting through anytime soon one crack and oh boy um but right now not getting through well a nicer thing that happened this week is that the bachelor started it did indeed and boy oh boy and that's

my i don't know if you guys remember but that was my new year's resolution the one new year's resolution and you know what you know what Henley in thinking about it more I think it's going to be my new year's resolution as well to continue watching the bachelor this is fun I think we can fulfill this one Sammy I think we can do it I think so I believe in us um but yeah we are are in a Bachelor League, which is pretty fun. I just have a feeling that that is going to really keep me going through the next

couple weeks here. Next couple months, I guess. I don't really know how long it lasts, but I may have seen some spoilers online. I'm hoping those were wrong just because... Emily, I forgot about that. Spoilers. A unique thing about me.

So I'm kind of upset about that. We'll see what happens. You know, I'm a little confused about when they filmed it because it looks like the intro is in like deep fall. I think like October. But it looks like almost like they started filming it in like November and it's only January now so I'm a little confused about the timing

on this whole production. Well it happens fast. They go from meeting to engagement in like two months regardless. Okay. Yeah. I guess that makes sense. You are correct about how confusing it is but that is just how it works but i do i think it was because also it's like pennsylvania so that i think it looks like that

earlier they're like in the mountains in pennsylvania or something like that so it would be like very autumnal in like october yeah i think i just imagined in that it was october i don't know why that's my guess but that's what I think that it was. Well, usually the leaves are turning in late October. As the resident East Coaster on this podcast, I feel like I have to speak for the East Coast. Speak for it. And they didn't turn until really late in New York this year. That's part of the reason why I was thrown, I think.

But anyway, that's talking about the leaves changing on the bachelor. I think it happened. We can't even begin to talk about the fucking coup, but we are breaking down the timetable of leaves changing in this season of The Bachelor. Oh boy. Well, I'll feel like, I mean, a lot's up this week, apparently, but I have a pretty big thing. Oh, what's your thing? I bought a car today.

Ooh. You buy the little car, the little yellow car? I bought a little yellow car, and I am so happy with my little yellow car. I can't even, I love it so so much it's crazy how much i love this car i've never been a person who loves their car i've just always you just have a car that is you know safe and works and gets good gas mileage and that's all of it i've never like wanted to love my car like whatever um but it was old and i've got a big birthday coming up and so with like quarantine and i'm not gonna take any trips and i don't fucking need anything i was like you

know i'm just gonna like ask for the only gift from people like my my family and also like save my shit and just trade my car and like get a new car and that's just what i'm gonna do and then i found this little yellow car. And it is so cute. It's very cute. What kind of car is it? It's a Chevy Sonic. Any Sonic heads out there? Let me know.

Sonic heads. It's so yellow. I'm going to be driving this little tiny yellow thing around town. And I fucking can't get over it. But I'm also kind of simultaneously scared. I already got nervous. What if I scratch it while I'm parking? I'm also kind of simultaneously scared. I already got nervous about like, what if I scratch it while I'm parking? Like I've like, I'm like nervous to care about it this much, which is like, how does anyone like have children? I'm scared about my car.

Anyway, but that's, that's, I mean, it's like the only thing that's happened to me in a while. Congratulations. That's a big thing. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. You spend so much time in your car. I mean, that's going to be like your second home. Yeah. Also, cars are expensive. They are. And I was prepared, but it still is crazy to be like, okay.

I know. Buying a car, I guess. Pretty wild. But then you are unreasonably happy in your little yellow cartoon car and it's all worth it oh I'm so happy for you Emily I'm so excited and truly the car makes me happy the car is like such a happy car it's a little happy

car yeah it's very exciting well are you guys ready to feel a lot less happy yes I was waiting for you to ask Sammy you had to open that door because you are I guess we actually have to

I'm not gonna like but the title is nice the title is nice this week's movie is funny games what could be bad what could be bad that sounds nice is fun games I love a funny game.

It came out in 2007. Written and directed by Michael Haneke, starring Naomi Watts, Tim Roth, Michael Pitt, and Brady Corbett. It's going to be, it's lighthearted. It's lighthearted. We're going to have a few laughs and then we can all sleep well tonight. No, actually, I watched it last night and i had fucked up dreams you did i did did it really scare you no i'd seen it before i saw it when it came out i think i saw it in theaters but you know that was 13 years ago now so it was kind of like seeing it for the first time again aside from remembering you know some some of the bigger things. But yeah, I don't know. Something about it just

snuck in there in my brain and really came out to get me in the night. Oh, God. I've been having crazy dreams recently, too. I wonder if it's because of like, you know. It's probably because you knew you were going to hear about this movie. You probably knew. You know what that tune means, everyone. Welcome to Cocktail Hour. It's the best time of the week. This week, our movie involves quite a bit of suffering. And so in honor of that, we'll be making a suffering bastard. The ingredients for this drink are one ounce bourbon, one ounce London dry gin, half an ounce of lime juice freshly squeezed, two dashes Angostura bitters, ginger beer to top, and mince brig for your garnish. Add the bourbon, gin, lime juice,

and bitters into a shaker with ice and shake until well chilled, about 30 seconds. Strain into a glass over fresh ice, top with ginger beer, and garnish with a mince brick. Cheers! It is one really important piece of trivia is that it is a remake of the 1997 version. Same name, same writer, same director, Michael Haneke. He did a literal shot for shot remake, which I haven't heard of anybody else doing that. He basically the original is in German. anybody else doing that he basically the original is in german he is austrian and he intended this film for an american audience and obviously american audiences don't take as well to english and so i i thought maybe someone asked him to make an American remake. I'm pretty sure he just of his own volition was like, well, I better make an American

and English version as well. And so and also was 10 years later, like, well, why mess with a good thing? I'm going to make literally the exact same movie. Wow, that is wild. I'm sure that this has happened before i've never heard of it but i was just had a thought which is we talk sometimes about how we're excited for them to eventually remake the harry potter movies yeah but what if they just did shot for shot remakes with new with new actors oh man what if so bizarre it's very bizarre but so this because of that this is one of the only

movies that i feel like that i have heard that the american remake is actually better i have not seen the austrian the original um i'm sure it's you know pretty comparable i think they're because because the actors i think are better i think naomi watts is very good in this i mean they're all really good in this so is it and did it do well once he made his american version i don't think so i don't i think it's i'm you know i didn't write this down so this could be wrong i think the budget was 15 million and i think it made back half of that. I think it made like eight in box office. So, no. And the original did not make much money either

I don't think. So, not a huge success. Honestly, I love the confidence to be like, you know what? Nope. I'm going to do it again. Didn't work again? Huh. Okay. Hmm. Hmm. Okay. Well. I did actually read something with it where he said at least now he can know that it wasn't because it wasn't in English.

I think it was literally literally just nagging him for 10 years. He was like, it didn't do well because it wasn't in English. You'll see why the movie didn't do well. It's not because it's a bad movie, in my opinion, but people hate this movie for other reasons. Oh, God. Oh, no. Oh, no. No. Oh, no.

Well, you don't love to hear that. And this is his only film to not premiere at Cannes, Michael Haneke's. And then this, you know, I won't say it because it's kind of spoilery. You guys don't know anything about this movie, right? No. No, nothing. Nothing. No spoilers, Sammy.

Let's not even go there then. I will say that this trailer is one of the earliest trailers that I remember really, really loving. Because, I mean, this was right after I graduated high school and was in college kind of deciding what I wanted to do and I think this was one of the trailers that I got pumped about trailers for inspired you and now it's kind of funny because it's a little dated at least to me it seems but it's still great so let's watch it I'm not alone What is it honey? There's someone here.

Hello? Sorry to disturb you, I'm staying next door. Please, come in. Wow, that's a really great set of clubs. Mr. Farber? What? Get off! You wanna call someone? An ambulance? Or the police? really great set of clubs. Mr. Farber. What? Dad! You want to call someone?

An ambulance? Or the police? Why are you doing this? Have a seat. Please. I'm Paul. We're going to make a bet now. You bet that you'll be alive tomorrow at 9 o'clock and we bet that you'll be dead.

Eenie, meenie, miney, moe. Catch the tiger by the toe. If he hollers, let him go. Eenie, meenie, miney, moe. Why don't you just kill us? You shouldn't forget the importance of entertainment. Keep me safe all through the night, please. That's awesome, really.

Really. It's a great trailer. I was smiling the whole time. You guys were not. Oh, man. Well, let's just do it. Launch. Yeah, launch right in. Let's do it launch yeah launch right in let's do it okay so we start with a family driving on a freeway they're driving to their like vacation home type thing we get a

overhead shot and classical music playing and it's a mother father and son so family of three the mom is naomi watts dad is tim roth their names are ann and george and the son's name is georgie confusing and you know i'm gonna guess he's 10 okay i thought you knew i was gonna ask you that question that was gonna be the first thing out of my mouth was how'm going to guess he's 10. Okay. I thought you knew I was going to ask you that question. That was going to be the first thing out of my mouth was how old is this kid? He's pretty cute. And I know I've previously said that all kids are eight, but I feel like this one might be 10. This one might be 10. Okay.

But so they're playing a game in which. The first game of the movie. The first game of the movie. Uh-huh. The games have games have begun funny games begin if you're a new parent a bad day means you either ran out of coffee diapers patients or all of the above stocking up on cold brew and deep breaths are all you but at least hello bellows got your baby's butt covered hello bellow believes all families deserve premium, affordable baby products. With their ultra-convenient diaper bundle subscription service that includes seven packs of diapers and four packs of plant-based wipes, you'll never run out of supplies ever

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at Staples when I grew up because I just loved getting all the things that I needed that I would use every day in class. I still to this day have nightmares about showing up in class without notebooks or number two pencils. Really scary stuff. But luckily I wake up and I realize I don't actually need notebooks or number two pencils anymore. But this fall there is something that I will be using every day and would be terrified to be caught without, and that's Raycon's best-selling everyday earbuds. I've been trying to go on walks every day, and so I need earbuds that I can rely on to listen to all my favorite podcasts, and I know you guys listen to podcasts as well so you know what

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to buyraycon.com slash too scary. buyraycon.com slash too scary. They are listening to classical music and trying to get the other one to guess who the composer

is or what like opera we've all played that game yes very funny that's a funny game and once you once you guess correctly you get to put on your own classical song it seems like a very um rich person game. They're carrying a boat on the back of their truck. They look like a rich, you know, white family headed to their vacation home. Guessing they're classical composers. As they're driving, the title pops on and it starts playing like thrash metal. It's a jump scare like Cabin in the Woods does the same thing. And I didn't remember that this movie did it. So it got me.

First jump scare. Okay. They pass some neighbors that are playing golf and stop the car next to them. And they're yelling out like, hey, no fair, no practicing. They have plans to play golf with them the next day i believe and it's a couple and two guys and the couple is who they're friends with and the guy from the couple is like oh haha he's just kind of weird and stiff and they're're like, are we going to see you guys tomorrow for breakfast? And he says, uh, yeah,

yeah, we'll, we'll see you then. And she says, actually, we need help getting the boat into the water. Can you come by to help us get the boat in the water? And he's quiet for a bit.

And then he says, sure, sure. I'll, I'll be there in 20 minutes. So just kind of a weird interaction. And as the family, Anna and Georgie, are driving away, she's like, who are those guys that were with them? And he's like, I don't know, maybe nephews or something.

Probably nephews. Probably nephews. nephews or something probably nephews probably nephews so it was it was the couple they were gonna play it was the couple they were gonna play golf with plus two other guys okay got it um so they get to their their house their home and uh they have they also have a dog dog's name is lucky oh jesus christ just like fucking twist the knife on that one. Asking for trouble. A dog named Lucky in a horror movie. No thanks.

Oh, we'll pass on that just like we passed on that coup. Honestly, not for us. Not for us. Not for us, thanks. And Anne is putting food away in the fridge and putting her, you know, suitcases down or whatever. And George and Georgie go out by the boat or they're taking the boat off the back of the car to move it down to the water. And then the neighbor comes over.

I can't remember his name, but let's call him Fred. It might be Fred. Sounds like a neighbor's name. He comes over with one of the guys, the potential nephews, and he's acting a little strange. And we meet the other guy. His name is paul he is wearing all like an all-white golf outfit including white gloves yeah he introduces him as this is paul it's kind of a weird

little interaction they're like okay nice to meet you you're gonna be playing with us tomorrow and paul's like yeah yeah, yeah, I think so. Oh, no. And so they go down to the water to help push the boat in. And then Paul and Fred leave. Okay. And then Anne is in the kitchen getting steaks out of the freezer, cutting up some steaks. She's on her phone calling, I guess, another neighbor. They know other rich people in this vacation neighborhood and is cutting up the steaks. And then we see her son come in and standing in the doorframe and he's looking kind of weird, and she says, what's up? And he says, there's somebody here.

And she walks out of the kitchen into the hallway, and we see someone who looks very similar to Paul, the other guy that was there with them in the beginning, but he's not Paul. But he introduces himself as like, oh, I just met you. Oh, that's confusing. Is he also wearing all white? He is wearing black shorts, but the rest is all the same. Yeah, all white. She's like, oh, right. Of course. Come on in. Let's him in. And he says, you know, your neighbor,

whatever her name is, Mrs. So-and-so, was wondering if she could borrow some eggs. She sent me over here for some eggs. She's cooking something tonight and just needs four eggs. And we see Anne has a dozen eggs. And she says, okay, no problem. Let me get that for you. Do you need the carton or can you just carry them he's like i can just carry them that's fine and he's i mean i guess i should say that he's very creepy right off the bat his voice is very whispery kind of sounds like michael jackson he's like could i just we just need four eggs for the meal like And very soft spoken and very, oh, thank you.

We would really appreciate four eggs. Thank you so much. So she gives him four eggs. He's just going to hold them in his hands and walk with them. And he's like, okay, well, we'll see you tomorrow for playing golf or whatever they're going to do.

And as he walks out, he goes off camera and we just hear the eggs crack. And he's like, oh, shoot. Oh, my God. And she walks out and sees that he has dropped them right on in the doorway. All of them. All of them. Oh, shoot and she is very polite and like oh it's okay it's not a big deal um not the worst thing that can happen let me let me help you get some towels starts cleaning them up he's like oh thank you so much oh you're so kind this is so

nice i'm so sorry that i've made such a huge mess you're so nice oh i hate you so much oh you're so kind this is so nice i'm so sorry that i've made such a huge mess you're so nice i hate this so much and she said she's like okay well we're we're actually making eggs for breakfast tomorrow so i don't know what to do now and he says well you still have eight right like i could take four more. You'd still have four for breakfast. There's only three of you. And she's like, don't tell me how many eggs I eat. She's like, OK.

And then she says, how did you get in here? Because the property is gated. There's a big metal gate outside. And he says, oh, I came through the fence by the water. Or I came through by the water. And she says, but you're not wet. And he says, not in the water. There's a hole in the fence by the water.

I came in by the water. It's like your neighbor showed me that there's a hole there. So I just by the water. It's like your neighbor showed me that there's a hole there. So I just came through there. She's like, okay. And she starts getting the eggs together again. And she's like, do you want the carton this time? And he says, whatever you think, if you insist, I'll take a carton. And she's okay gives him the carton takes the other four eggs out for herself and then as he goes to reach them he

hits her phone and it falls in the sink full of water and she's like oh my god damn it and pulls it out her phone is broken he's like oh my god I'm so sorry I'm so clumsy and she's like you know what can you just maybe just leave before you know anything else happens just take the eggs and go and he's like i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i've caused such a problem thank you so much i'll

take the eggs thank you and goes to to leave oh god this is awful this is fucking awful and then we hear she's she's back in the kitchen he's seemingly left and we hear lucky just barking and barking and barking and she comes back around the corner and now both of the the guys are in there no no no and so pa And so Paul is the first one. Paul is Michael Pitt. So he took the eggs and just stayed in her house? Well, so the dog is barking outside of the entrance to the house and

Paul says Peter's scared of dogs and so as he went out he says the dog jumped all over me and she's like, oh god I'm so sorry and she's like he's like well and then I dropped the rest of the eggs oh my god oh my god this is a

fucking nightmare yeah I think for sure the problem with this movie was that it wasn't in English so Anne is apologetic, but also confused. It's like, well, I'm sorry. I can go tie him up so you guys can leave. Then Paul sees that they have set two bags of golf clubs

right by the entrance. And he's like, oh my God, look at those. What are those callaways those are beautiful like may i and she's like i i guess and he goes and pulls the golf club out no already stressful no and he's like may i take him for a test spin she's like okay if that makes you happy and so he he grabs a ball a golf ball and goes outside and leaves peter in there with her i like don't want to hear what happens i genuinely just don't want to know i think that i am done i think i'm done i'm done you I'm done. You know what it is? You know what it is, which is so hard to listen to? I absolutely hate any situation where someone is forced into doing something because of social niceties.

Yes. Which is so real. I'm truly like, what would I... If someone is weird and like, but I need more eggs. How do you go? Right. Because it's not explicitly aggressive. I if someone like is weird and like but I need more eggs like what I how do you go right because it's not it's not explicitly like aggressive it's just

like you might see them then it's just like you just feel weird and and you're also a little scared because you're like alone in your house with this like stranger and like how did they even get in here part of me in my mind it's like damn I wish I just had CIA training and could

fucking pull a gun on a guy like this but in reality i would be totally fucking screwed yeah this would not be good i would not want to be oh i do not want to hear what happens to lucky but i do not feel like it's gonna go well yeah no probably not but so then we cut to george and georgie on the boat they're kind of getting it ready you know put in the sails up boat talk for our vessel heads yeah they're doing boat stuff they're doing boat stuff you love to see it you absolutely love jibs and starboard. Starboard. Starboard. Starboard. Love me a jib. Oh, you gotta have the jib. And you hear Lucky barking and barking and then really whimpering and then going quiet.

Just from a distance. So we don't have to see it. We don't see anything. Okay. Does Anna hear that? Anne? Anna? Anne? Anne. Unclear. Unclear. No, I don't think so. it we don't see anything okay does anna hear that um and anna and unclear no i don't think so but seems like she should have she was closer to it than they were but i think they play it off like she didn't and so paul comes back into the house it It's like, wow, great club. Works great. I love it. Thank you so much.

We'll just take the other four eggs and go. And she's getting annoyed. And she says, no, you know what? You guys need to just leave. And Paul says, why are you being so unfriendly all of a sudden? Was Tom rude to you while I was gone? Paul says, why are you being so unfriendly all of a sudden? Was Tom rude to you while I was gone?

And he calls him Tom, which he called him Peter before, which I think is very creepy. Oh, no. And then he turns to him and is like, Tom, were you being rude? Were you being rude in my absence? She's like, no, I just want you to leave. And he's like, well, I don't understand. Like, what did we do? Like, we just need the eggs. You took all my

eggs then george comes in thank god and at this point ann is you know upset and asking them to leave and george comes in and ann kind of grabs paul to try to push him out and george because he doesn't understand the situation is like whoa and like calm down what's happening and like is oh god not immediately on her side and so she gets what what do you have to gain from walking in and and not being on your wife's side what is what do you think and then right, though, as she's walking away, George does turn to her and go, what's going on? And why do you want them to leave? And she says, maybe I have my reasons. And why do I need to say them to you?

And he looks like, okay, he believes her. And so he turns to them and asks them to leave. And he's like, I don't know what's going on. But obviously, I don't have all the information. And it would just make it easier if and asks them to leave. And he's like, I don't know what's going on, but obviously I don't have all the information and it would just make it easier if you guys would just leave. And Paul says, this is all a huge misunderstanding. Basically, we just need these four eggs and we know that you have the four eggs and we'll just take them and then we can go and this can all be cleared up.

There's no reason for anyone to be angry or upset. We'll just take the eggs and we'll be take them and then we can go and this can all be cleared up like there's no reason for anyone to be angry or upset we'll just take the eggs and we'll be out of your hair oh god um and george is also annoyed with them now at this point he's like no you know what you got to go starts walking towards the door to open it to show them out and we hear george from one of the guys and is in the other room now. She's like stormed out. And he turns around and says, yes. And we see a golf club come down on him, hits him, and he collapses onto the ground.

They've hit his leg really, really hard. Oh, you know what? Sorry, before that, things escalate between them a bit first. And he says something. George says something to them like, you better watch your tone, young man. And he says, you better watch your finger, old man, because he's waving his finger in his face. And George slaps him.

George slaps Paul first. And so and then he's like, get out of my house. And then that's when they hit him with a golf club. Oh, Jesus. So he deserved it. Well, it's just going to be spoken about that way that he started it for.

Oh my God. Oh my God. I hate this. I knew you guys were not going to like it. I can't stand it. I can't stand it. And like all that's happened so far is eggs. I know.

I hate it. It's just, you know, it's going to get so much worse. I hate it. But keep going, I guess. I mean, let's just find out. Oh, boy. Bye. So Anne hears George's screaming and Georgie and Anne both run in and run to him to hold him and comfort him. And what the hell's going on? And they kind of the three family, the family of three is kind of huddled together on the ground, looking scared, looking up at Paul and Peter slash Tom.

And they say, do you want to call someone? Your neighbors? Maybe the police? Like, go ahead. We're not going to stop you. And George turns to Anne. She looks at him and says, my phone is broken. My phone fell in the water. I don't have, we can't call anybody. Does he not have a phone? Not on him at this moment. No. Then George says to them, why are you doing this? And they say,

why not? Oh, no. Oh, no. And then Paul says, let's play a game. It's a guessing game. And it's a guessing game and it's daytime and that makes

it scary yeah and so he says it's a guessing game and he pulls a golf ball out of his pocket and he holds it up and he says what is this they're you know quiet for a second then George looks at him and says it's a golf ball And he holds it up and he says, what is this?

They're quiet for a second. Then George looks at him and says, it's a golf ball. He says, that's right. It's a golf ball. And why do I have it? And they're kind of quiet. And he says, Ann knows. Ann, why do I have it?

She says, you were going to test the golf club. And he's like, right. And I didn I didn't because look here's the ball but I did hit something so what do you think I hit like why do I still have the ball oh disgusting and disgusting and puts it together and says, where is he? And realizes that Lucky was not Lucky. Jesus Christ. Then Paul says, let's go find him. Oh, my God. And takes Anne outside and we see she's crying and kind of walking around outside and he's going cold, cold, ice cold, ice cold, warmer, cold again, warmer. uh it's like suv and realizes every time she gets close to the car it gets warmer every time she moves away from the car colder she moves to the trunk of the car he's like hot hot boiling hot

and as he is in the foreground of the frame and she is further away and he turns and looks right into camera and winks. No. So he breaks the fourth wall. Oh, yeah, baby. What? And then she opens the trunk and out falls Lucky and he is dead. Dead little, dead little dog. What kind of dog?

It's like a little golden retriever. Cute one. God damn it. That's what I was picturing. Fuck. Wow. Back in the house, Peter is, says to Georgie, could you please go into the kitchen

and get me something to eat? Oh my god. And Georgie goes in and gets him an apple. Then back outside, we see another boat coming up to their dock and it's their friends. And Paul walks with Anne out over to the dock, similarly to how he was with fred in the beginning and she's looks really stressed and

kind of uh trying to be normal and he's super paul is just relaxed having fun he's like hi nice to meet you i'm paul oh are you guys friends um where do you guys live oh the place with the red door oh i love that's such a nice place like i love that place which is not not good you hate to hear it yeah after what happened to her with when why doesn't she go like get out of here like i know call the cops i know what what i mean i guess she doesn't she go like get out of here like call the cops I know what I mean I guess she doesn't want him to hurt her more but like call the cops we're past that I know

this is I think the moment to do it right here because he doesn't have any weapons on him at this time he's not even the golf club now yeah shoulda coulda woulda she doesn't she doesn't she doesn't she does but she does kind of do a thing of like um maybe we'll come over for dinner tonight like

we'll see you tonight kind of trying to set a precedent of like, if they don't come, that they will come and try to find them or whatever. Find them. Yeah. That's smart. Something. Then Paul takes Anne back inside and kind of, they basically move the whole family into the living room, shove them all onto a couch, set up another couch facing it so they're across from each other. So the three family on one couch,

two of them facing them. We see that George's leg is all bandaged up and it's bleeding through the trousers. I feel like the bone is maybe like protruded. Oh, Jesus Christ. I mean, something's causing bleeding i feel like

bleeding doesn't happen unless oh jesus christ open and i and i think sammy you're correct about that bleeding doesn't happen unless it's open in general so his leg is very fucked up and they're crying. Georgie's crying. And George says to them, can you please stop this? And Paul says, oh, my gosh, that like you're asking. You said, please. Like, thank you. It's so much easier when everyone is polite. Like, there's no reason to not.

Oh, they're just so annoying that's the thing they're so fucking annoying it makes it so much worse that they're this annoying yeah they're just like little shit but they also are sociopathic probably murderers but

man they're just little shit they're fucking golf outfits and they're yeah so then he goes to he says it's easier when things are polite like let's introduce ourselves let's start over i'm paul he holds his hand out for him to shake his hand george does not shake his hand and then as he rejects him they like he grabs and punches her punches his leg where it's broken and like then slams them on top throws and on top of george onto the leg and so then they're all just screaming in pain and they say why why are you doing this please tell us why you're doing this and paul says tell them why we're doing this toby again a new name change and toby said i guess peter p Tom, Tom, Toby says, you know, it's hard for me to talk about this.

I don't I don't want to talk about this. Don't make me talk about this. And Paul, Paul's very much the alpha in this duo and says his parents got divorced when he was eight. And Peter starts like crying, like, no, no, it's not. That's not true. My parents love each other. My parents are still together. Like, stop it.

Stop it. And and then he says and the divorce made him start to do to do drugs. And actually, I'm a drug addict too and that's why we're breaking in here because we need money to buy drugs because we're both drug addicts little shits yeah they're such little shits and he says yeah peter's peter's parents peter's trailer trash his parents are poor he's just a little white trash kid. And then says, I'm just kidding. He's obviously completely filthy rich. He's a spoiled little brat.

He's always had everything he's ever wanted. And basically just like one tale after another. They're just fucking with him. And then he says, okay, let's make a bet and he says what time is it toby and toby says it's eight and he's like, no, no, no. That's the bet. Like, we got to make a bet. That's the fun. That's the fun part. You bet that you'll be alive and I'll bet that you'll be dead. that you'll be alive and i'll bet that you'll be dead and they're you know not responding not cooperating and then again he turns straight to camera and says what do you think you're on their side aren't you ew ew ew i hate this i hate this i hate it so much i hate it i really know you guys are gonna hate it i hate it more than like so many of the movies we've done.

Like, why are they doing this to us? Why would they do this? I don't want this. No, it's like the epitome of men being bad, you know? And I'm taking that straight back to the fucking director. Well, we'll talk about it. Him doing this. That's men being bad.

We'll talk about it because this that's men being bad we'll talk about it because he knows what he's doing he's that's that's part of it i'm sure it is but i don't like it um and then so that's the bet that they've made and then he says uh uh peter says can you make us something to eat i am starving and paul says like peter you're disgusting all you do is eat you're gonna get jelly rolls and says something says like anne is gonna be disgusted by you if you don't stop eating she says look at her she doesn't have an ounce of fat on her and and peter says i'm not so sure and now it's like a weird body shaming game i guess and and stands up to leave because she is insulted and they grab georgie and say we're gonna play cat in the bag and that obviously makes ann stay she can't leave while they've got georgie they grab a pillowcase put it over

georgie's head really tight so that it's like you see the shape of his face through the pillow as he's like screaming and crying and they say to ann strip like we got to see if you have jelly rolls oh my god and she is you know not going to do it so so paul turns to george and is like tell your wife to strip. Or like Georgie, they're basically threatening Georgie. Georgie's crying, like scream crying. And they're like, we're going to keep him here until you tell her to strip. It was like, not so hard. We just want to see if she has jelly rolls. And they make George look at her in the eyes and say, take your clothes off. And they tell him to say, take your clothes off, honey.

And he says, take your clothes off. And they say, say, take your clothes off, honey. And they make him say it again. And she is crying and humiliated. And she takes all of her clothes off and stands there naked in front of them we don't see her naked but um they're just looking at her and they're like oh wow yeah she's in great shape no jelly rolls okay you can put your clothes back on and she starts getting dressed again and then they notice that georgie has peed himself and so he like pushes georgie up and is like get this kid cleaned up oh my god he's not

house trained this kid and georgie in that moment just makes a run for it i'm so stressed george attacks like basically gets in the way of them chasing georgie and so is able to give georgie a head start georgie looks like he's about to run out the front door then instead runs upstairs oh no what no and then the two guys grab Ann and George and basically tie them up they're like okay well we got to tie you up then if you're gonna be like this I guess we're gonna have to tie you up Ann hasn't finished getting dressed yet she's in her just bra and underwear they They duct tape her ankles and wrists together, her wrists behind her back and her ankles together, like really tight and tied George up too. Peter's finishing tying them up. Paul goes to go look for

Georgie. We see that Georgie has climbed out. He's like climbing down the trellis outside. So he did make it outside and he runs through that hole in the fence to the neighbor's house. And then back in the main house or back in with Ann and George, she's crying and says, why don't you just kill us to Peter? Like, why don't you just kill us? peter like why don't you just kill us and he says you shouldn't forget the importance of entertainment and okay we see georgie in makes it is like banging on the neighbor's door they don't answer but he finds an unlocked door gets gets in, sees Paul coming.

And it's nighttime now, by the way. It's like, this is nighttime. And it's a creepy shot of it's like completely dark outside. And you just see his white outfit coming through the bushes. And so Georgie sees him coming and is trying to hide in this other big house and then sees a shotgun on the ground and then sees dead bodies of the neighbors. Yep. Yeah. Yeah.

But Georgie grabs that shotgun and he hides in a little corner with the shotgun And Paul eventually finds him and says, cock it. Oh, my God. And Georgie cocks it. And he says, pull the trigger. And he pulls it. And it doesn't. Doesn't work. Nothing happens.

And he goes, Paul goes goes and grabs it from him and then back with Ann and George we see they're still tied up I think Paul is or Peter is watching race car

like on TV a race race car race race car race that's what they're doing and Paul comes back in with Georgie throws him

in between his parents he's holding the shotgun now he has the shotgun and we see that he has bullets. And he said they decide that they're going to do a eeny, meeny, miny, moe situation. That sounds fun. That's a fun game for sure. He leaves it with Peter and says, you do eeny, meeny, miny, moe. And I'm going to go eat a snack. I'm getting pretty hungry. He leaves it with Peter and says, you do eeny, meeny, miny, moe.

And I'm going to go eat a snack. I'm getting pretty hungry. And so the camera follows with Paul as he goes into the kitchen to make himself a snack. And we just hear a gunshot and screams from Anne and George. Oh, no. From Anne and George. Oh no. And just staying on. The camera just stays on Paul.

As he's eating his snack in the kitchen. And we just hear really really. Gut wrenching screams. And like moans. And then we see a blood splatter. On the wall. Or actually on the TV. The NASCAR race. And it's just like kind of whimpering

noises and the nascar race and paul walks in we don't see him walk in but he he yells at peter and he says he says you don't kill the kid you don't kill the kid that takes away all the suspense go we gotta go we gotta get out of here uh okay we're leaving now let's get out of here see you guys later ciao bye-bye and we hear the door close behind them and then the camera we finally see the the whole room and we see ann um with her head down uh we see georgie's little body in the corner and just georgie that has died he is um you don't fully see it you just see his like legs um from behind a couch or something and and is all tied up trying to hop she it's like a very very prolonged scene this is a one take there's no cutting in

this scene it's just her kind of hop trying like struggling to get to her feet and trying to hop and she's keeping her head turned away from georgie like she doesn't want to look at him and she keeps like falling i think she hits her head pretty hard when she falls once and um eventually makes her way to as she goes to the kitchen to go grab a knife she is able to free herself and comes back in the room and her and George kind of hold each other and they're sobbing. You know, I'm not feeling like Paul and Peter are just gone. They're really it's like a very long moment of them, you know, mourning, but still kind of quickly. They're like, OK, we need to get the fuck out of here.

And so, but he can't really move. He's not doing well. His face is like white. He's losing blood. And so she is like, we got to go. We got to go for help. And he kind of is crying. And he's like, you're going to have to go alone.

Like, I'm going to slow you down. Like, go get help and he kind of is crying and he's like you're gonna have to go alone like i'm gonna slow you down like go get help bring help back and she's crying um she like he's like get get dressed get clothes on get shoes on like you might need to run and she gets out of gets dressed and uh goes for the phone and the phone is on oh they've taken his truck or their car I think because she's like where is your cell phone and he says it was in the car

and so they've taken their car and so they're trying to get this phone to work it seems like maybe it's dried out a bit because now it's turning on. She's dialing 911 and it's not ringing. Nothing is happening. So it's just like she gets a hair dryer.

She's started trying to dry it out further. She's maybe this will work. He's like, let me stay here and do that. And like you go run for help. So she like drags him in a chair into the kitchen so that he can be by the plugged in phone and she hops out of the window to to go look for help oh wait one other horrible thing that happens first oh no right before she's she leaves uh she's as she's looking for the hairdryer she opens the door to the living room where georgie is dead she opens it and she just

throws up into her hands it's really upsetting she just like instantly she just looks in and vomits oh that's awful god that's awful sammy i hate this i knew i knew you would they that george and ann before she leave have a nice moment well it's nice isn't the word but they're he's like please forgive me and she's crying and she's like i love you so much and like they're just kiss and are holding each other and she's like i love you so much and like they're just kissing or holding each other and she's like i love you so much and i'm gonna get us help and then she she gets she runs out she runs through that hole in the fence and she goes to the neighbor's house she's like screaming help help help which i feel like don't scream i didn't like that didn't like that i feel like i'd want to be as quiet as possible sneaky as possible um nobody's home at that house nobody

answers she's running down kind of a long residential street um but everyone's lights are off it's completely dark and maybe they're also like empty houses because these are vacation homes. Right. She's walking down the center of the road and she sees headlights coming and she hides, which I feel like is smart. Yes, it is. I feel like that would be an easy thing for our movie to do. It's like, help, help me. Not that this is going to be too far off of that, but she hides at least.

And then at the last minute, when she sees that it's not them, she jumps out and is like, help, help. But they continue driving. And so then as she continues walking, then she sees more headlights and I think this time she's like, well, I can't if I don't jump out before they're going to pass me.

But we cut away from that and we go back to George at the house. He's covering Georgie with a blanket. He's kind of hobbled over there and is kind of crying by his body. And then hears something and says, Ann is looking into the doorway and we just see a golf ball roll right into the doorway fuck this and then paul and peter are back with anne she is god fucking damn it she is

gagged and tied up again she is like also gagging on the gag like she keeps like like it's they've just put too much material in her mouth and then they sit them back down and they say okay another game of eeny meeny miny moe time to play again so okay and then says you know they do that they do the eeny meeny miny moe it is selected that it is going to be george to die next and they turn to ann and they say okay now we're going to play a another a game within a game where you get to choose if he's killed with a gun or a knife george says enough like this is enough stop it and he says it's not enough this isn't enough and again turns

straight to camera and says do you think it's enough no you want a real ending right you want a proper story development you want a beginning a middle and an end boo i know it's really just i feel like this movie is just like a big fuck you to horror fans. Like, how dare you be want to be complicit in people's like pain and suffering? What an asshole. So. He says to Anne, OK, you have to admit I'm being very generous by letting you decide if he if he's killed by a quick and almost painless death by a big gun or a horrible slow death by a tiny little knife. And he,

he, and is like, I won't do it. Um, and so he stabs George in the leg, George starts screaming and he says, that's a preview of what the knife one will be like so what i want you to do is um think of a prayer any prayer and if you can recite the prayer perfectly

um you get to choose how he dies and that like that'll mean god is on your side and you get to choose how he dies and uh ann is crying and says i don't know it i don't know any prayers and they're like oh that's a surprise like like you're rich this house like you most people around here are, you know, religious. This is surprising. You don't know a single prayer. Toby, do you know prayer? And Toby says, I love you, God, with all my might. Keep me safe all through the night. And he says, that's too short, Toby. It's too short. And he's like, all right, well, we don't know another one either. So if you can say that, if you can say, I love you, God, with all my might, keep me safe all through the night, then you get to choose how George dies. And she says, I love you, God,

with all my... He's like, no, no, no, that's too quiet. You got to really do it. I got to believe it. You're talking to God right now. I got to hear you. And makes her get down on her knees and she's really sobbing and she says i love you god with all my might keep me safe all through the night and he starts clapping he says bravo bravo and says now all just have to say it backwards she lunges for the shotgun grabs it and shoots peter in the chest he flies across the room paul jumps up like oh fuck and is like looking at peter's dead body and says no no no no no no no no where's the remote where's the remote and goes digging through couch cushions and finds the remote presses rewind the movie rewinds we go right back to that prayer

and uh and then we get to the same point in the movie where she lunges he now lunges first, grabs it, gets it first, says, you shouldn't have done that, Ann. And say goodbye to Georgie. And then shoots Georgie, I mean, George, and looks very defeated. And they pick her up. The sun is rising now. It's getting to be morning. her up it's the sun is rising now it's getting to be morning and they take her onto the sailboat sit her down and she she's across from them they're both in like yellow raincoats and she sees that the knife has fallen in the in the bottom of the boat like right next to her

and she kind of like sneakily goes to pick it up to cut. She starts trying to cut her. She's tied up again. So she's trying to free herself. And Paul notices and says, now that's what I call an Olympic spirit. Kicks the knife out of the way. They move her to sit in between them. And he says, okay. Paulul says what's the time peter and peter says it's after eight and he's like oh my god already and he says yeah and so uh paul shoves and into the water she's tied up just pushes her backwards into the water, says, Ciao, Bella. And they go off on the boat and we see them dock at another dock. And it's this cottage with the red door that we had heard about earlier. They knock on the door. It's really early in the morning. And the woman that we saw talking to that had come on the sailboat earlier opens and is like, what's going on? And he's like, oh, you probably don't remember me, do you?

We met yesterday. I'm so sorry to bother you this early. Ann sent me. We just need some eggs for an omelet. And that's the end of the movie. Oh, my God. Emily looks so mad. Oh, my God. Emily looks so mad. Oh, my God.

I'm so mad. I... I'm very upset. I am so upset. I thought you might be. Also, I'm sorry. So they just never sleep and just murder constantly? I know.

I do like that they are at least hungry a lot they make a lot of reference to like them being hungry and need that need to snack constantly i kind of like there is something that was more scary about it until they threw in that little like rewind part like the rewind part makes it feel like a fantasy that's existing in an alternate universe which obviously he's like clearly trying to make a point and it's like

look at this point I'm making and it's like fuck you dude it's super masturbatory of you like who cares but like but imagine Henley though if he did it twice I know do you still feel that way that's so embarrassing for this guy um but yeah there's something that was almost that was truly worse about it when it felt like it existed in like a universe that we exist into right right i agree

because the idea of just like senseless murders because you can kind of see all of this actually happening in real life. Well, you can see that's part of the trivia that I wasn't I didn't say because I thought it was kind of spoilery. So this is the second time Michael Pitt has played a character inspired by the real life murder murderers, Leopold and lobe so there were like rich i don't know harvard's white guy students that like were psychopaths and did murder somebody the second time he's done this the second time michael pitt has played this character he's very good at it i feel like we did the other one i think was murder by numbers i think i saw murder saw Murder by Numbers. Or I saw one movie where he's a serial killer and it's like he's trying to

complete the perfect crime. Yeah, that's Murder by Numbers, I think. But maybe I'm thinking of the wrong one. I don't know, but I just remember being super creeped out by Michael Pitt. I find him to be extremely creepy as a human being. I mean, he's been typecast to be one specific murderer

literally literally the same murderer and so naomi watts died for sure yeah right yeah because she was tied up yeah i was really thinking what does she have to live for honestly no she doesn't have anything to live for that's true i, I was shocked that the kid was killed. I know that's kind of the point, but like that was shocking and surprising. I will say that this movie was very surprising from the beginning to the end. And I appreciate that about the movie. Everything else, I hated. I remember not liking it that much the first time i saw it but

i actually liked it more this time it's it's it's so dark it's it's very funny in a very dark way um and yeah i mean michael haneke is obviously it was supposed to be a critique of American audiences hunger for violence. And so all of the violence actually occurs off camera for the most part. And so that's interesting. It's not, it's not gory. So it's just making you a participant in the, you know,

torture basically without satiating your wanting to see gore. I don't know. I haven't thought enough about this, but there is an interesting thing about horror audiences of. Why you see the blood wanting to see that. I don't. Yeah, Emily. Emily, is this worse than Event Horizon for you?

Or like the same or not as bad? It's different. It's different. It's worse in some ways. It's worse in that I'm like angrier at it. Like right now, I'm just sort of like how dare you?

How dare you? Like how dare you make this movie? And I think a lot of people felt that way and that's why this movie has pretty bad reviews. Because it's also because he put the thing in where it's like no you don't like it because I made it for you to not like it. No I just don't like it.

I just hate it. Fuck you. You don't make me like it because I made it for you to not like it. No, I just don't like it. I just hate it. Fuck you. You don't make me hate it. I hate it because it sucks. I hate what you're doing. It's creepy and gross. And it's not your. You didn't choose it.

Fuck you. You got to. Who do you think you are? You got a real bone to pick with Michael Haneke. I got a bone to pick. Well, it feels like he's trying to make like this moral argument in a way i think he very much is yeah well it's like hey bitch you still made this fucking creepy movie right this is your movie that you did twice so what porn are you trying to make right now because

you did this yeah he doesn't have any ground to stand on that's the problem is he's trying to make this big moral point and but he doesn't have any he to stand on. That's the problem is he's trying to make this big moral point. And but he doesn't have any he hasn't gained any respect from the audience yet. And so it's like, people aren't going to say he's not here to defend himself. And I don't know. He isn't. I don't feel differently i think he's a very very good director i love a lot of his other films and i think he does what else does he um he did cachet and the white ribbon they're very like film schoolie films and um he did uh a more which Oscar I think oh good for you I hate it how many times have I said I hate it that would be a good drinking game for this podcast how many times did I say I hate it throughout this podcast a thousand

times take a shot every time me or Henley go, no. No, I definitely appreciate that it's doing something different and surprising. I will just say that again. I'll reiterate that. I liked it. I don't like it. Well.

I don't like it. I knew you wouldn't. I really knew. I knew it in my bones. I was like, they're going to really hate this one. But I decided that home invasion is my favorite subgenre of horror. I love home invasion movies, I think. Interesting. I really like them.

I like the simplicity of them. And I like that it's all kind of dialogue heavy i mean they can certainly be bad don't get me wrong but when they're done well and when they do something a little bit different because obviously there's you know not too much to be invented within a home but i feel like yeah i think i think i agree with you i actually i i think i like hearing about not watching i think i like hearing about like kind of like how i liked hearing about the invitation so much i like hearing about home invasion movies because it is all about like relationship dynamics at the end of the day probably would be the scariest for me to watch is something like that yeah that's the other thing is that it's the most kind of realistic

thing yeah and that would be really hard you're watching the movie it's like literally taking your safe space and making it the scene of the crime and i love it i also have a lot and throughout my life but recently too i've been having a lot of home invasion nightmares um interesting that's not fun i used to have those a lot when i was a kid too really yeah where i'd have i'd have nightmares where i'd have to like find a hiding place in my house i have a lot of nightmares where i have to flee a space and they'll hold the nightmare is like running to a place and then that place isn't safe and running to another place and then that place isn't safe and then running to i just have that teeth dream over and over teeth falling out

i have it so much that i know that it's a dream when it's happening and i'll be like oh you're having the teeth dream again but then oh man But then I'll convince myself in the dream. I'm like, no, this time it's real. I'll be in a dream and be like, thank God this is a dream. And be like, just what? I guess not. Because I already had that thought. And I'm still here.

Oh, dreams are so weird. Very weird. All right. Wow. What? You guys, that's going to be a favorite for you. I can really tell your big Funny Games heads.

Yeah, hell no. I give it a C-. Better than I thought. Yeah, that's what I was more imagining. I'll give it an F. Should we do the creepy Peter, Toby Tom

voice? Yeah, a little whisper voice. A polite. Thank you so much for listening. That is what they would say. Thank you. Thank you so much for listening. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.

Hey everyone. Thanks for listening to another episode of too scary didn't watch this is henley and i might have hated this movie but i actually really loved getting to hear about it if you did too head on over to apple podcast where you can rate review and subscribe we're also on twitter and instagram at tstw podcast leave us a, drop us a line. We always love to hear from you. We might have mentioned it once or twice already, but we also now have a Patreon. If you go to patreon.com slash TSDW Podcast, you can sign up. We are now doing two bonus episodes per month for Toni Collette's Inner Circle. This month, we're discussing Shudder's history of slasher films and the movie Psycho.

Super excited to do those. Okay, thanks for listening to The Bitter End. Love you so much. Talk to you next week.