Too Scary; Didn't Watch - JAWS with Paul F. Tompkins

Episode Date: January 26, 2022

One blood-thirsty shark, several innocent dead people and a perfectly-rated PG movie, we're recapping JAWS with Mayor Larry Vaughn aficionado Paul F. Tompkins! Vesselheads, rejoice! Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1fu_sA7XhEYou can rent Jaws for $3.99 from our Amazon Prime overlords :) Recap begins @ 39:07 Follow the show: @TSDWpodcast on Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram. Check out our Patreon for bonus episodes and additional content! Rate Too Scary; Didn’t Watch 5 Stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Emily, Henley, and Sammy. Advertise on Too Scary; Didn't Watch via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is Emily, Henley, and Sammy, and you're listening to Too Scary, Didn't Watch. Hi, everyone. Welcome to Too Scary, Didn't Watch, the horror movie recap podcast for those too scared to watch for themselves. I'm Emily, and I am too scared to watch scary movies. I'm Henley, and I'm also too scared to watch for themselves. I'm Emily and I am too scared to watch scary movies. I'm Henley and I'm also too scared to watch scary movies. I'm Sammy and I love watching scary movies. And so I watch them and I tell you about them. And boy, oh boy, am I excited about this week's movie. But before we get into it, did anything scary happen to us this week?

Just real quick, I got to tell you guys. So I'm visiting my parents in Maryland right now. And my grandmother passed away recently. She was 97 years old. So my mom has inherited all of her stuff. So this house is filled with items right now. Yep. And I guess the scary thing is how much of it is Ronald Reagan paraphernalia. That is. Yes, that is scary. What? How much? What do you think? Give me a percentage. No, I mean, it's not it's not that bad, but it's all. I mean, if it's an alarming quantity to be if it's drawing your attention, that's enough. It's so crazy. You guys, I'm like, we just got to throw it out. Like, let's throw it out. This is easily tossable.

We don't need to keep it. But my mom's just moved it to the second floor. That's like, she's like, we'll deal with it later. That's where we're staying. Right. Of course. So when you walk upstairs in the hallway, there's like a chest that's just like covered with Ronald Reagan stuff, including a letter that he wrote to my grandmother's second husband, congratulating

him on his retirement and telling him what a fantastic job he did as a lobbyist. And I want to tell you, I'm not comfortable with this. This is really, This is terrifying. I know. I have a lot of questions. This was in like 1985 also. So I

am surrounded. Do you know what he lobbied for? I'm pretty sure it was like gas. Like oil and gas. I'm pretty sure it was like... Yeah, whisper it. Gas. Like oil and gas. I'm pretty sure it was like... I know, you started whispering. Yeah, like it's still ending up on the pod, Hen, even if you whisper it. But I'm like

stressed. I haven't even... So here's the thing. My mom listens to this podcast. I haven't brought it up with her yet. After we record, obviously this is a conversation we're going to need to have because the cat's out of the bag. She can't find have because the cat's out of the bag. She can't find out here. Cat's out of the bag.

I'm noticed. I clocked the Ronald Reagan stuff. And I just want everyone here to know I'm not comfortable with it. And I have questions. So that's the scary thing that has happened to me in the past few days. I'm going to need some pictures of what all this is i'll send you guys the personal letter that he wrote to my grandmother's second husband i think yeah i think we got to see that um mine is not related but not unrelated unrelated okay um this week i had to take a civics test to become a u.s citizen because i have been a permanent resident for a while and so i had to go to the immigration offices and sit with

an officer and answer questions about the history of the United States. Wait, what the hell is this? I was so stressed. You did not tell us you had to do this. These are hard tests. I kept it as a surprise for the pod. I love when you do that. You do it better than anyone. You withhold important life details from your close friends for the right moment. Anything for the pod.

Whoa. How hard was it? Did you have to study? I had to study, yeah. I would not do well on a test like that, like point blank. So there's a hundred questions they can ask you. You only have to answer

six correctly. They usually ask ten. But if you answer the first six right, then it stops. And I did. I got them all right. Oh, of course you did. Will they keep asking until you get six right? Like, could they ask you all 100? No, they'll only ask 10.

But it could be any of the 100. So you have to study 100. OK. You'll get 10 random ones and you have to get six right to pass it. Holy shit. Which ones did you get right? Some of them are easy. Like, who's the president now?

That one I got asked. Joe Biden, in case anybody's wondering. Thank you. That one I got asked Joe Biden in case anybody's wondering. Thank you. And then some of them are like, I don't think I actually got asked this one, but the one that was seemed hardest to me was like, what part of land did the U.S. buy from France in like 1805? It's the Louisiana Purchase.

I do vaguely remember that. But like, you know, that's not something that's top of mind. Top of mind. Yeah. Top of mind. It's so weird to be like, you can't be a citizen unless you know that you cannot live here unless you know that. That very relevant information to today's world.

Another one I got was what is what is an amendment change to the Constitution? It's that kind of stuff. So they're pretty simple, but they're things that like I did have to study for just in case I'm not going into that without preparation. Wow. OK, so wait. So what part in the process are you in then? You got your six right.

And then where do we go from here? I go take an oath of allegiance to the United States. I have to get this swear to fight and die for America if needed. Isn't that so crazy? Ronald Reagan would love that. I never swore to that. I never swore to that. I never swore to that. Do you know what I mean?

You're on the hook more than me if shit goes down. Yeah. So that'll be on Wednesday that I do that. Sammy! Can people go watch? Will you like become a citizen in that moment? They can't because of COVID, which is a bummer because usually, yes. Can they stand outside and cheer for you?

Yes, you can stand outside and cheer for you yes you can stand outside and cheer for me but the letter they gave me says it is a somber event so dress appropriately i was like what what the fuck you are proclaiming that you will die for this country i guess necessary could be somber for sure holy crap sammy i didn't realize it was happening like this because i knew you there was time that had to pass between becoming a permanent resident which happened just right before covid five years no five years it's been five years yeah it's been five years since that day no it's been five years since i became a permanent resident oh wait what i don't know let's not get into the details in case a uscis officer is listening.

No, it's definitely been five years and we're certain. Wow. Congratulations. Thank you. It's exciting and scary. But I'll get to vote in these midterms, which I'm very excited about. Great. Wow. We need it. First time voting. Wow, Sammy, that's cool. I'm very happy for you. I'm very impressed.

Thank you. Mine is not terribly unrelated. Okay. I love it. Let's see what it is. This past week, I rewatched and showed for the first time to Joel Miss Congeniality. Yes.

It had been a really long time since I'd seen it. He had never seen it. I don't remember how it came up. I don't. Oh, it came up because we had watched Batman Begins, which I had never seen. And Michael Caine is obviously in the Christian Bale Batmans.

I know him best from Miss Congeniality sure and so that came up a conversation joel never seen it so i was like oh my god it's great it's classic we have to watch it i've seen miscongeniality like so many times for i think for all of middle school it was like every sleepover we watched miscongeniality at melinda sheer's house we watched miscongeniality hey Hey, Melinda. Hey, Melinda. And I loved it.

And I rewatched it. And some of what I saw was a little scary. Oh, no. Especially because I was like, oh, Joel, you're gonna love it. We have to watch it. And then it started and I was like, oh, my God. Because, like, you guys have seen it right of course yeah um i mean look here's what i'll say it's still fun sandra bullock is so good in it

she's so fun the parts of the women becoming friends and like learning that they can be in a beauty pageant and also have more depth to them like those messages are still good those are the things that I had remembered there's another part of the movie which is so deeply sexist and offensive it was like any scene with the FBI officers is like the sexual harassment in that

workplace holy shit they're like there's a scene remember the scene I could talk about this for this whole episode I I won't, but where they're trying to find the right agent to go undercover in the beauty pageant. They need to find a female FBI agent who's hot enough to go undercover. And so

they have a computer software that takes their clothes off and puts them in bathing suits. Oh my god. All the dudes are sitting around watching it, like eating fucking popcorn, like, and then an ugly chick comes up and they're like, oh, nasty, put her in a bathing it, like eating fucking popcorn. And then an ugly chick comes up. They're like, oh, nasty. Put her in a bathing suit.

Gross. Oh, no. At one point, her coworker, who ends up being her love interest, Benjamin Bratt, the actor. Yeah. Who I've made a latte for him once. Really? What happened to him? In a work conversation, he slaps her ass.

It's like, it's crazy. Wow. I was, and these were like, this was, I was watching this over and over and over again at a like deeply foundational moment in my growth. I was like, oh. And so it also made me think like, this is probably true for a lot of things I loved at that time in my life. Yeah.

And like, wow, it really, I was not happy to be reminded. Well, it's scary, right? Because you're like, was I conditioned to just like accept that? Like as an adult? Yes, 100% yes. I never flagged it once at that age. I thought he was a very good love interest. I thought it all made sense.

I thought, of course you have to find the hottest FBI agent to do, of course we have to take a very attractive Sandra Bullock who just what doesn't brush her hair and like make her get full body waxed and like be like walk in a dress and be like, oh, my God. Fuck. She's been hot the whole time. Look at her body. It's so crazy. I was horrified.

Yeah. The second half is fun. And I will say the joke about a perfect date being April 25th because it's not too hot, not too cold. All you need is a light jacket. That joke comes back every April 25th. I see a post every single year. William Shatner is great.

And it's also the first thing I knew of William Shatner in, you know, is. But wow, I'm just saying sometimes when you go back and revisit it, it could be cruel and it's a little scary. But sometimes it's really great. And this week's movie, I think it's a very great one to revisit. This week's movie is Jaws came out in 1975, directed by Steven Spielberg, written by Peter Benchley and Carl Gottlieb, based on a novel by Peter Benchley, starring Roy Scheider, Robert Shaw, Richard Dreyfuss, Lorraine Gary, and Murray Hamilton. And our guest today is coming to us straight from Amity Island. And we are so freaking happy to have him paul f tompkins welcome to the pod hello amity as you know means friendship oh and i could not be more

pleased to be joining this friendship uh which i discovered um via podcast forum. I first, I'm a big fan of the show and I first learned about it from Ronnie Adrian on the Man Dog podcast, who was plugging Jessica Jarden being on it while saying he has never been invited to be on it. Yes, it's classic Ronnie Adrian. I'll just say this. Okay, Ronnie, a friend of mine plugging my podcast because, not because of me, because

my other friend was on it. And also, Ronnie's never expressed this to me one time that he wants to be on this podcast. I haven't heard a peep. That's also classic Ronnie. He was waiting for this moment for someone to tell you that this happened. Yeah, exactly. A little game of telephone through the podcast. This is the most efficient way.

I'm such a, I'm such a fan of the show. I really enjoy it. And yeah, I'm, I'm thrilled to be asked to be here. Thank you so much. Oh my God.

We're so happy. We're so, so happy. Wait, you have to tell us now. Did anything scary happen to you this week? You know, I,

I had a mild scare. I got into Wordle this past week okay okay we've been talking about what is it what is it see that's the thing i would see these boxes and i'm like whatever that is i don't like it i don't want to learn what it is it makes me feel like i'm losing my mind all of a sudden is everywhere what is it it is a very simple word game it's actually i really enjoy it but it for it it was weird to me and i referenced it on twitter that it seemed like that episode of star trek tng where there's like a game that everybody gets addicted to but it's it like it's doing something to their brains

because you just see these boxes and i'm like what the so finally i asked somebody what it was a friend of mine who was playing it and then i started playing it it's an extremely simple word game it's um six rows of five boxes and what you're trying to do is guess a five-letter word and so you just keep putting five-letter words in there until you get the right one um you get you get six chances to guess and so it'll give you clues um which you can turn off, which I don't know why anybody would do that. That's demented. If you put a letter in the right place, it will show up green when it's revealed. And if you put a letter, if there's a letter that's in the word that's in the

wrong place, it'll show up yellow. So you can say, okay, I know there's an R and an A, so I'll put them in different positions, whatever. And it's's really fun and then you share it with your friends i kind of think sharing it online is gross yeah everyone's doing it everyone's doing it and everyone is gross and i think my thing was just like who decided like all it was like some big conversation happened overnight that i didn't understand like yeah how does this happen it makes me think like what how does it happen how does it here happen? Here's my take on it. You know, Henley? Here's my take on it, which I had shared to you guys over text. And I think I'm standing strong on it. Sorry, is this an HHT? This is a, yeah. A Henley hot take? This is absolutely a Henley hot take, just coined right now at HHT. I think that it seems really hard, but it's actually simple and easy. And so

everyone's sharing it because they feel good about themselves, that they were able to accomplish it. But it's like actually not that hard. And so everyone's doing it because they're like, look how fucking smart I am. But like in reality, like the reason why you're seeing it everywhere is because everyone's the same level of smart when it comes to doing wordle exactly and it's like if you if you finish it in two guesses that's really not that big an accomplishment it just means you got done sooner which is that's kind of cool is that now i'm fine like like randomly a good first word. Randomly. Exactly. Randomly. Arbitrary. Yes.

It's totally arbitrary and random. And it's like if you are able to just visualize what words have those letters, then you can do it. It's not that hard. It's just like easier boggle. Yeah. The words are not esoteric. Do you know what I mean? There's not like a word like I accidentally got this.

I have to look it up now. It's you know what the words are. It's pretty simple. But it is fun. The scary thing that happened to me was that there was one that took me all day long. I was getting down. I had nothing. I could not figure it out.

And it was to the point where like the puzzle comes out at midnight. I woke up at like eight o'clock and I do it. I started in the morning and I didn't get it until I think 10 p.m. that night. And I was seriously starting to think like, is this it? Is I'm I'm starting to slip like it's going away. This is the first time. Yeah, exactly. Is this meaningful? this is the first time yeah exactly is this meaningful so is it like it's like the new york times crossword and that it's like there's one wordle for every day and everybody does the same one exactly yes so you only get the one per day yeah and that's what one of the fun things about it is that you know everyone's doing the same one how quick did you get it here's how i got and you talk with your friends like what was your starter word that got you, you know, whatever.

And it's, I like that. I like the, the social aspect of it with people that, you know, but I don't like, I don't like it when people post them online. I don't like it. I know. Me neither. Okay. Can we ask, what was the word that got you? Abby.

A-B-B-E-Y. Oh, that's a tricky one. That's kind of a niche word, I'd say. A little bit. The tricky thing is double letters because you you are not thinking of that as well i'll just speak for myself you're not i'm not i'm not thinking of that off the bat i'm for some reason i'm i'm going to oh it must be unique letters you know across the board and you forget that you can get let's say you get a and it's a yellow and

it's in the wrong place there might be two a A's. You don't know until you keep guessing. Yes, exactly. I feel like words that start with vowels are also trickier. I have not expected words to start with a vowel. Where's the middle vowel? We already started with one. Where are we going with this? Yeah, I don't think I need to do this because my phone alerted me today that I spend five

hours and 40 minutes on my phone every day. And so I'm a little nervous. Oh, mine just went down to six hours. And I consider that a major accomplishment. Okay, your VQ2 may feel a lot better. Okay, great. Okay, I'm downloading it right now. You got extra 20 minutes until you gotta be really concerned.

During quarantine, it was like you put in a full day's work on your phone. 24 hours a day. 24 hours. Henley. Don't be ridiculous. Henley, you have a child. This is not okay.

Someone come get him. Okay. Well, so what is your experience with scary movies in general? Are you a big fan? Not so much? You know, I think I'm a medium fan i i think it it is it is uh it's it's there's been peaks and valleys like i used to watch them when i was younger uh i was never like uh a genre person in that way like oh i gotta see if this is coming out this is my jam i

gotta go see it um and then a big turning point in my life was my wife and i had just moved in together uh this before we were married um and we were in this little house on las palmas it was like kind of it was above franklin and kind of tucked away in this weird little area um and it was almost like a little cabiny kind of house like it was a two-floor house and we really liked it a lot it turned out to be a nightmare because the landlord was a horrible but so we barely been in there it was summertime and it was really um hot out and we're like let's go to the movies to cool off um so we walked to the chinese theater and we went to see the strangers and i just like full body tension through the whole thing yep we walked back we like got in a fight for no reason just so stressed then it was like oh it's stupid movie and then

it it it was nighttime we got into bed turned out the lights i was wide awake yeah wide awake and you know we'd never lived in a place that big before, like not since my childhood, you know, and it was like, there's too much ground to cover in this place. A whole floor you're not on. Yeah. It feels secluded. It feels like we had neighbors like adjoining the property, like they were adjoining a wall, like they were right next door, but it felt like we were in the middle of nowhere.

And so that was the beginning and then we the last horror movie i saw at that point was house of the devil which was a very well done movie like replicating the satanic panic movies from the early 80s it's so well done but again it's just like filling me with dread and i was like i don't think i like these movies i'm not gonna watch scary movies anymore then too scary do not watch and then a friend of mine i was talking to a friend of mine about them about scary movies and he said uh i was talking about some movie he goes oh is it is it supernatural and i said yeah and he goes oh that's fine then if it's supernatural i can watch it because that's fake it's more like like movies that are like like the strangers or something where it's like that could actually happen right um he doesn't watch those and i

was like okay and then i started watching you know just supernatural movies and it was a big difference i was like oh okay i can enjoy this it would still be scary but it wouldn't stay with me the way that it used to the one exception is anything that has to deal with, anything religious, anything that has to deal with demons, the devil, because I was raised Catholic, I am an atheist now,

that shit stays with you forever. Forever. And so I watched Hereditary, that ruined me for a week. I would try to imagine, like trying to come down from seeing tony collette in the corner of a ceiling i have to picture her on a press junket i have to picture her she's a she's a producer i have

to picture her talking about how much it's going to cost to do this gag or whatever really it really fucked me up it really fucked me up and also then thinking about the logic flaws also will help me when i think about the plan and hereditary hereditary to bring king payment to earth i'm like what you guys you guys are terrible at this you're terrible and also thinking about like the nude satanists like do they take their clothes off before they go to the house and so they ride over in the car nude or do they get there

and then quickly they hide their clothes somewhere? Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Like, put these under the couch.

They put them on one person's car. Yeah, exactly. Okay, quick, take your clothes off and we're going to run

to the house. Aaron's car. Put them in Aaron's car and then we'll all come back out. Exactly. My favorite thing to do was watching The Descent

is my favorite horror movie i still haven't seen that one okay well terrifying right it's scary well you're not gonna go in a cave so maybe that'll be you can avoid that one don't go in a cave do you know i've already been in one so i'm in the clear you're done i'm not going back only have to go but yes it is very scary there are cave monsters in it but there is on is on the DVD a special feature of the like actors in the costume, like cave monster dress dancing around. And I had to watch it every time. I'm like, this is perfect.

Yes. Little like cleansers to make me not stressed out. They're actors. It's not real. So, yeah, you just got to find your little thing for afterwards. not real yeah so yeah you just got to find your little thing for afterwards i think my my sweet spot is those mike flanagan series because there's so much story and emotion and the scares like i don't even mind when there's a jump scare like a couple jump scares per show or whatever but i like the i feel like it's the the the the dread or, the scares in it pay off so much more because you get so

invested in the characters and you love them so much. And so that stuff he has, I mean, he's, he's got a perfect record with me. Like I've enjoyed everything that he, that I've seen that he's done. We love Mike Flanagan. Yeah. Love it. Haunted Hill House. So good. Sammy really loved Haunting of Bly Manor. I liked Midnight Mass. Haunting of Bly Manor, I'd rank third out of those three. I would too, but I still really, I rewatch them every year. See, I found it a little too scary. I started trying to watch an episode of Hill House and I found it a little too scary. Hill House, I think, is the scariest one.

I think Hill House is the scariest one. Yeah, I think so too. I agree. Hill House is, I think, the best one. It's like the most well done in my in my personal. I do. I remember you liked it. But I have to say, I completely agree where I feel the same way about if it's supernatural or if it's a ghost, I can easily rationalize it away.

If it's a man, men are so scary. Like they're the scariest. That's unfortunately true. Yeah, they're the scariest. They're the scariest. Just watch Miss Congeniality and they're scary in that. Wait, who was Christian Bale in Miss Congeniality? No, Christian Bale. Michael Caine is in Miss Congeniality.

God, I wish Christian Bale had been in Miss Congeniality. You see Michael Caine, you immediately go to Miss Congeniality. It's true. It's true. It's true. Christian Bale's like an intern. I was going to say, like, I know I've seen that movie. I don't remember Christian Bale.

God, I wish Christian Bale had been in it. He'd be an adult. God, he would have been great in it. We all wish that, I think. I think we all wish that, yeah. We do. I'm in a real Christian Bale phase right now. Yeah?

He's great. He's great. I re-watched American House the other night. He's great. Love it. Oh, boy. That's commitment. To rewatch that movie.

I know. Okay. Well, so this movie in particular, this holds a special place for you, yes? Yes. This is one of the earliest movies I can remember seeing. I saw this in the theater. My dad took me and my little brother to see it. It was too much for my little brother, but I mean, it was, it was like 1975. Like I was a little kid and I loved it. I loved it. I don't,

I don't remember being scared by it. I do remember being scared of the water, you know, for a little bit. And that's that's a fear I retain to this day. But that's not just about sharks. That's about anything that I can't see. Deep water. Oh, oh, my God. So scary. It's the scariest thing of all. It's so scary. I love being on boats, but I will not go into the ocean further than I can stand. Yes. Yeah. I have to be able to put my feet on the sand. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I, yeah, I love this movie. I've seen it a million times. Um, I was thinking maybe I would go into this having not watched it just to see how I could do from memory. But then I

thought if I miss one important detail, the whole thing will unravel. So I did watch it again this morning. This is the earliest I've ever watched this movie. It was 10 a.m. I love a morning horror watch. I have done it as well. Now, can I ask for Emily and Henley, have you not seen this movie? So, okay. So I, the only time I've ever kind of seen it was when I was at Katie Pinkard's house in like third grade. And hey, Katie, who was my frenemy.

Katie, you know what I'm talking about. And it was in the background. And all of this is to say I basically have never seen it. I've just seen some visuals from it before, but I don't really have any knowledge of the movie at all, honestly. Emily? I have seen it one time. I saw it in high school.

I took a film class in high school and we, and we had to watch it. But my, but I, my, I mean, my, my biggest fear of sharks and I don't care how bad people say the shark

looks scared the hell out of me. I just, for me, it's like, I, the, it's the idea of a shark. It could look terrible, it's like it's the idea of a shark. It could look terrible.

But if you're telling me it's a shark, I'm like, it makes me think of sharks. And then it's very scary. So for for for reference, one time Emily was stuck in traffic next to a bus that had an image of a shark

on it. It was one of those 47 meters down movies. And it was the whole side of the bus. I think that's honestly irresponsible. And yeah, she got scared. She got scared.

I really do. I think that's not an okay thing to force onto people. That was the longest light of your life. I was on Santa Monica in West Hollywood. I wasn't going anywhere. Oh, no. There's no escaping it. Awful.

I mean, sharks are i i know that peter benchley has said because of the popularity of this i regret doing this because i think it it it fed into the the fear and hatred of sharks but it's hard not to be scared of them it's really hard yeah i mean we're people they eat people yeah exactly and they eat indiscriminately they do eat enough people to make it like not safe you know it happens too often enough that you enough that you think about it like if it was if it was one every 10 years you'd be like well okay but it's like it's more than that it's like 10 every year it's like they but they don't just look a pure killed by a shark is, is a little more rare, but even if in any interaction with a shark, a bite, even if you see one in the water,

like, can you imagine? No, there would be nothing scarier in the whole of human existence than to be in the water and see a shark. Totally agree. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I think you're right. I've said this many times

and I'll say it again. I feel like the burden is not on us, but the burden is on sharks to get better at knowing what is food and what is not food. They've been on this earth

billions of years. Like, figure it out, dude. Somebody in a wetsuit is not a seal. You've seen them enough times. You should know by now. And the idea that they don't know if they like how something tastes until they bite it it's like come on man that's

not true i feel like they've done experiments on rats where they like shock a rat that does something and then the next generation of rats all know like don't touch that thing like why isn't the same happening for sharks here just exactly sharks left and right pass that information down you've learned something. Give it to the next generation. Fill a dummy in a wetsuit with sawdust. You know what I mean? Like, make it unpleasant so that they know,

okay, that's not food. What are the scientists even doing if they're not doing this? They're saying, be nice. Be nice to sharks. I will say for the record, sharks are my favorite animal. Sammy, what? This is a reveal. I didn't know that. I will say for the record, sharks are my favorite animal. Sammy, what? This is a reveal.

I didn't know that. She has a shark tattoo. I have a shark tattoo. I love sharks. Wow. Yeah, I do. So just had to say that. But you know, also scientists, step it up.

Both can be true. Step it up. That's right. I'm not going to get sharks. I'm just saying get better at being a shark. That's all I'm saying. You've got a lot of time. Fair.

More than anything. More than anything. More than anything. Yeah, man. Jaws has a 98% on Rotten Tomatoes. Because of course. But 87 on Metacritic, 8 on IMDb. IMDb is always the harshest. Notoriously low.

The budget for this movie was $9 million. Box office, $472 million. Holy shit. Incredible. What does that mean? Like over the entirety of the existence of Jaws? Or because it's like, does that count in every time they replay it in a movie theater? Probably.

I mean, I don't know exactly how it works, but it is like a lifetime gross. Yes. It keeps going. It keeps going. Even still. Even still. That's a lot. But, you know, famously the first blockbuster. like it was a huge, huge, huge success. I think it was in theaters for a year or something like that.

Oh, my God. Right. Yeah. Yeah. And it was like summer was not a time that big movies came out in 1975. It was like that was when people were at the beach and people didn't really see movies during summer. And so, yeah, it was like the start of summer blockbusters. Isn't that crazy? Wow. Okay. This is somewhat unrelated, but as we were talking about this, you said summer, we were talking about Jaws. I just had a memory come back up in my brain. Of

when I was in middle school, I went to arts camp over the summer and you could do different things at arts camp, but one of the things is you could make a movie and I was a part school, I went to arts camp over the summer and you could do different things at arts camp. But one of the things is you could make a movie. And I was a part of the group that made a movie. And it was like a mixture of like middle schoolers and high schoolers. So I was definitely like the like, you know, like I had no say in anything that got done.

I was just like along for the ride because high schoolers got to decide. Sure. And we made a movie called Coconuts. That was basically a parody of Jaws but the killer's coconuts not sharks I guess because statistically you're more likely to die from a coconut

falling on you than a shark and these are high schoolers who are like we're so cool and smart we know this and it was in South Florida where like there are coconuts around you know that was an easy prop to get and I'd never seen Jaws at this time but I just now remembered that we made a movie called Coconuts. I wish I could get my hands on it.

Oh, you made the movie before you saw Jaws. I never seen Jaws. You made a parody of Jaws before. No, I didn't know what we were doing. I was like 12. That's artistic, I got to say. Wow. Coconuts.

I had completely forgotten that. If anybody has it. I want to say, yeah, I want to see that if it exists somewhere. I'm sure it's very bad. Emily, what a fancy little lady you were. You're doing all these artistic things. You're such a fancy little lady. If nothing else, I was a fancy little lady.

Okay, should we watch this trailer yeah oh god i'm nervous i just realized i have to look at a shark there is a creature alive today who has survived millions of years of evolution without change without, and without logic. It lives to kill. A mindless eating machine. It will attack and devour anything. It is as if God created the devil and gave him Jaws. This is Universal's extraordinary motion picture version

of Peter Benchley's best-selling novel, Jaws. I just found out that a girl got killed here last week. And you knew it. You knew there was a shark out there. You knew it was dangerous. But you let people go swimming anyway. Did you see that? It's all psychological.

You yell barracuda. Your voice says, huh? What? You yell shark. We've got a panic on our hands on the 4th of July. Is it true that most people get attacked by sharks in 3 feet of water about 10 feet from the beach? Yeah. What we are dealing with here is a perfect engine, uh, an eating machine. We're not only gonna have to close the beach, we're going to have to hire somebody to kill the shark.

Bad fish, but I'll catch him and kill him. Did you hear your father? Out of the water now! This shark will swallow you whole. You're going to need a bigger boat. That's a 20-footer. 25. Three tons on him. Hold it up. He's coming straight for us.

Don't screw it up now. Don't wait for me. Now! Shoot! Got it! Watch it! Hurry! I can't get up! Rody! Everybody out of the water! None of man's fantasies of evil can compare with the reality of Jaws. Roy Scheider.

Robert Shaw. Richard Dreyfuss. Jaws. See it before you go swimming. See it. They don't make them like that anymore. They don't. Can we talk about how it's PG?

Like, does that seem right? It's PG? That's way too scary for a PG movie. People just didn't know what to do with kids. Like, they just had no idea. They didn't know. It's wild. Yeah. It was PG.

God. It looks terrifying. At least the trailer didn't try to It's wild. Yeah. It was PG. God. It looks terrifying. At least the trailer didn't try to make it look not terrifying to me anyway. I mean, it really does look like being on a boat, being actively attacked by a shark looks like the scariest thing imaginable. I was getting stressed. That boat is too small. It's too small.

It absolutely looks like too small of a boat. That's right. The trailer says it's as if the god made the devil on earth and gave him jaws a mindless killing machine oh man and yeah i definitely think that's the same voiceover as the omen trailer oh for sure it sounds very familiar we've definitely heard that voice before. Wow. Okay. Wow.

I will say, I like, it's crazy even just seeing shots in that trailer that like I've just seen over and over and just moments that are like always shown in every important film montage. Like it's just, it's burning in my brain. Even in some of the less important ones. Yes. Mediocre. Just regular movie montages. Throw it in. Throw it in. Wow.

Okay. Should we do it? Should we recap it? Yeah. Let's do it. Are you ready? Yes, I'm ready. I took my little notes.

I'm all ready to go. I'm scared. All right. I want to say this. I think for movie chickens, this is a very manageable scary movie I think so too as long as you're maybe not terrified of sharks like Emily but even Emily has seen it and so I keep that's true I keep wanting to see it again I really I really do it's it's like been on my list of okay maybe I could do that one but then you know I'll always

find an alternative before I commit but maybe i'll do it again in the past few years i have hit a point where i only want to be wearing clothes that are comfortable it happened it happened to me but you know what i still also want to look cute and these are two desires that are often extremely opposing and i don't want to have to sacrifice. I want both. I want comfort and I want to feel cute and confident and guess what? Skims has freaking done it again with their soft lounge collection. I am currently very, very obsessed with, I have the soft lounge tank and boxer set. Okay, this tank, it's a great little rib tank, classic. You can wear it every day. You can pair it with jeans. You can wear it out in the world or you can wear it with this little boxer short that is so comfortable. It

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We're seeing the POV of something moving. We're hearing what will be an iconic movie theme. You know it. Hell yeah. The title comes up. Then we smash to some of the most 70s-est college kids you've ever seen hanging out on the beach, bonfire at night.

Somebody's playing a harmonica. Classic hang. I don't know. Maybe that was a thing. I don't know. I would have thought acoustic guitar, but no, this guy's doing a harmonica. Everybody seems to be enjoying it. Let's bring it back. Let's bring it back.

It's more portable, you know? If you're trying to have a hang on the beach just bring the harmonica you can swim with it i think so it's practical there's a young man and young lady are making eye contact across the fire and you know it is on so oh hell yeah they peel away from everybody and um the the young lady starts running down the beach the guy is drunkenly following her. She is taking her clothes off as she's running. A skinny dip is clearly about to take place.

The guy is having a hard time keeping up and she gets in the water. He's still trying to take his shoes off. He just kind of falls down and does not get back up again. She swims out and she's treading water she's really enjoying this moonlight swim she's like calling to him come get in the water he is clearly about to pass out and then we see again an underwater po something clearly pull her and then it is happening she is being attacked by something she is uh being like a drag back and forth through the water she's screaming she's screaming she uh gets uh dragged over to a buoy she hangs onto the buoy this really got me she says and she starts to say an act of contrition as she is hanging on to this uh oh no and then she is just being full-on taken under

the water we cut back to this load passed out on the beach the next it's the next morning we are in a house this is the house of chief brody and his wife, Ellen. Um, and he, they get up and we clearly see that he, based on their dialogue, that maybe they're new to the Island. They haven't lived there long. Um, he gets a call. This is in the kitchen. This is how we find out he is the chief of police. Um, something serious has obviously happened. So he says, goodbye. I'm going gonna go check out well i gotta go find out what this is and she's like be careful and he says on this island are you kidding me then he gets to the station um no he goes to the beach and he we pass the uh a big billboard

that says welcome to amity island with a uh a artwork of a young lady in a bikini on a raft. The sun is shining. It's a beautiful pastoral scene. He is on the beach with this young kid, the past outload that we saw earlier. And they're chatting. This girl that he was with last night has gone missing. He doesn't know what happened to her.

They have a conversation where about, you know, is he from the Island? And he's, I really liked this, that he, he said, my parents live in Connecticut. I live in Greenwich. And he said, um, but you were, uh, born here. He goes, yeah, I'm an Islander. And then they hear a whistle. It is chief brody's deputy uh hendrix who has found something uh they walk over and they discover the remains of this girl um what we see is kind of like we see a head with hair like facing away from the camera we see a hand and it's being uh eaten i'm sorry it is being eaten by little crabs it's so a lot of crabs. There's just a swarm of little crabs have been feasting on her, apparently, over the course of the evening. Crabs are disgusting.

Crabs are absolutely disgusting. They're not the best. They're not the best. Little sea spiders. They really are. There's a lot that's weird with crabs, and they need to knock it off, too. We've got notes for a whole bunch of sea creatures. How about this?

First of all, walk normal. notes for a whole bunch of sea creatures how about this first of all walk normal you will notice if you watch this movie that uh as you know the deputy's overcome with what he's seen brody is looking at it he's very uh concerned this kid does not know where to look he's like a dog like a trained dog on camera he's looking all over the place yeah what what would i do in this instance um so uh brody goes to the station he's on the phone with the coroner and we just hear he's listening and he types in on the report uh probable cause of death shark attack and uh he goes he asks you know hendrix where are the the closed beach beach clothes signs and he said we don't have any so brody goes to um to get some supplies to make

one of these signs um we see the town is getting ready for fourth of july there's a beach community obviously fourth of july is very important and so he gets all the stuff and uh he's he hands it off to Hendrix and Hendrix says, oh, man, the the Boy Scouts are they're training for their merit badge badges right now. They're swimming off the dock. And so and so you got to go get them out of there. So Brody runs over there. He gets on his own little like car raft or something. There's this it's not a ferry. It's not a boat.

It's just this it's literally just a platform with a control that as he gets. It's adorable. It sounds fucking cute. I mean, everybody had to have one after this movie came out. Absolutely. So as he's getting on here, car pulls on to uh the little dock onto the onto his little raft and it's um the mayor uh mayor larry vaughn um the editor of the newspaper who is fun fact played by carl gottlieb who's one of the screenwriters that's fun and the coroner

that he's already spoken with about this and the the mayor is saying, look, you can't shut down the beaches. This is extremely important. You can't just on your own authority. You're just going to go do this. You're not going to consult with the town council and me and all that. And he's like, well, what are you going to do? It's like, this is public safety. And we'll just close them down until it's safe again and then open them back up.

And the mayor's like, no, you don't understand. Fourth of July is about to happen and we can't do this. And maybe it wasn't a shark at all. And then he says, right. It could have been a boat accident. And they look at the corner in the corner, this little worm. He's like, oh yeah, I suppose that's possible. And you know, Brody's like, okay, you know, you're, you're really, um, tying my hands here. Um, we won't close the beaches, but we will, we're going to take extra precautions. You know, the mayor's like, great, you take extra precautions, do what you can, but just don't close the beaches.

We'll be very careful. I just want real quick the listeners to know that Paul is wearing the outfit of the mayor because that might not come across in the audio format, but it's important. It might not. It's important to know. It might not. It's important to know. It might not sound like he's wearing that outfit, but he is. I was trying to project that with my voice,

but I understand how it might be too subtle. Making some vocal choices that would indicate a certain dress. Since I was a child and saw this movie, I was in love, because I was a fancy little gentleman, and I was in love with the jacket that Murray Hamilton, who plays the mayor, wears in this scene. It is a blazer that's like a light blue with big anchors all over it. And I one time put it out there online that I was trying to find this jacket.

I mean, I've searched all over for this jacket, could not find it. And somebody sent me a swatch of this material and said, here's where you can find it. And so I went, I got the material. I went to my man Sibo in West Hollywood and he made me a three piece suit out of this material. Incredible. I was thrilled, thrilled. So I had to throw it on for this. You can't blame me. I love it. I love it. So the next day we're on the beach and

4th of July is looming. Everybody's on the beach and Brody is freaked out, right? So everyone's frolicking and we see like a guy playing with his dog. He's throwing a stick. The dog's going in the water and bringing the stick back. We see this little boy whose name is Alex Kintner say to his mom, like, hey, can I go

in 10 more minutes? And the mom is like, well, all right. So he goes back out with his raft. Brody is on the beach watching this and he's seeing like false alarms, like there's some sort of shape that's moving towards these people like this black shape. And then it goes under them. And then it turns out it's Harry. He runs the hardware store whatever he's wearing a weird bathing cap harry is also bald so i don't know why he was wearing

you know what that's true from sunburn absolutely harry i apologize then he sees like these girls screaming and uh he looks over it's of course because some dudes you know they're just they're they're playing some grab ass in the ocean so his wife uh ellen is trying to relax him and like hey don't be so tense everything's going to be fine and he like starts to relax we're back. We are hearing the iconic theme. We are seeing, uh, Alex Kintner's raft from below and his legs kicking. And then the music comes to a crescendo back to the beach. We see like this commotion in the ocean. Um, and there's like the raft is flying up. There's tons of blood and people are like, what is good? Do you see that? Do you see that? Um,

we also see to, to a lesser extent, we see the stick floating in the water that the dog was chasing the guy calling for the dog. Um, and then Alex gets attacked. Um, so, and we also see this iconic, it's a rack focus, right? Of Brody on the beach. What is it called? Yeah. Like a vertigo zoom. Vertigo zoom. Oh yeah. Where we go in and out at the same time. It brings a tear to my eye every time i see it because it's such a perfect shot it's so good and it conveys it conveys so much emotion like so the camera is pulling away whilst zooming in on roy scheider

as chief brody and he is like there's so much in there though like i this is happening and it's you sort of like no he's feeling this is happening and it's my fault because i didn't close the beaches this is this is on him he feels like it's on him so um uh brody calls for everybody to get out of the water everybody gets out of the water and then it's quiet and mrs kintner alex's mom is walking to the water's edge calling for him she's looking around she can't see him and then and i will say this is a bit much the torn raft uh washes ashore with like a little puddle of blood it's like okay okay we get it okay steven we get it we get it the kid's dead so crazy a kid a kid is brutally kid is murdered. We watched kid get brutally murdered. This movie's PG.

I'm just reiterating that one time. What's amazing is like you, I've seen this a thousand, I've watched this movie a thousand times and that scene, it is done so well because you don't really know what you're seeing. It's just like this, this movement and a shape and blood and everything. And it's not like it's not as on the nose as you would as as probably he would have done if the shark had worked properly, which is the famous lore of this movie was that the mechanical shark had all kinds of problems. And it, of course, made the movie a thousand times better than if we had seen it already. So I still I think that scene is so effective because it's so, it's scary. You don't know what's happening,

but you know it's bad. So the next day there is a town meeting and Mrs. Kintner is offering a bounty for the shark. I think it's $30,000. $3,000. Oh, that's right. Because it's low stakes at this point. Yeah.

So 3,000 bucks. And everyone's panicked about business, right? Everybody's like, what are we going to do? Like, this is death for us. Are they saying this in front of the woman whose son died from a shark? Mrs. Kidner wisely opted to not attend the town meeting. Because it does feel like the stakes are unevenly matched here. She was like to someone, tell them I'll pay $3,000. Let me know what happens. I'm going to stay home.

Yeah, okay. Smart. So Chief Brody gets up and says, hey, so we're going to take all these measures. Everybody's like, are you going to close the beaches or not? He's like, we're doing this and that. Just tell us if you're going to close the beaches. He says, yes, we're going to close the beaches.

And everybody erupts. The mayor says only for 24 hours. Brody says, I didn't agree to that. Everybody's going nuts in the midst of this commotion. You hear literally nails on a chalkboard. You see a hand dragging nails down a chalkboard that's in this room. Everybody goes quiet. They all turn around.

There is a beautiful shot of this wild looking old lady. That is one of my favorite things. And we turn and we see it is Robert Shaw as Quint, who is this old salt who is sitting there. He's got everyone's attention and he delivers this great speech about, listen, you guys don't know what you're doing. This is a great white shark. It's a big deal. If you give me $10,000, I'll go out and catch this shark. I'll give you the entire thing because you guys are going to fucking kill yourselves.

So just consider that and goodbye. And he leaves. So they close. They do close the beach for a day. Um, they put up the signs. Brody's like trying to study up on sharks, learn everything he can about them.

Um, it's freaking him out there. This is what I love about seventies movies. There's, there's such real stuff like this. Like Brody is reading this book. You see these images that he's reading. Uh,

his wife, Ellen comes and sits down behind him and he is like, Oh, he like turns, he turns around. He scares her. Um, and it's like a great real marriage moment. I love, I love that stuff so much. And I miss that kind of thing in movies. And he's like, you know, I don't know what to do. This is so bad. And we gotta, we gotta figure out what we're going to do about this. He asks, where is Michael? She says, he's sitting in his birthday present, the boat that we gave him. And he's like, get out of that boat. Get out of that boat. And Ellen's like, come on, leave him alone. You're going to freak him out. And he's like, well, I don't want to be freaked

out. In the meantime, Ellen looks at this picture of a, I know, she looks at this picture of a boat attacking a shark, attacking a boat, like a painting. And she's like, get out of that boat. It's a great moment. Yeah. It's so good. So that night, uh, two fishermen who are going after this bounty, uh, go out on a dock. Um, and one of the guys has got his wife's Sunday roast. They stick a big hook in it. Um, they tie it to a tire and they throw it out, uh, to catch the shark. And so the tide takes it out. You see the, the, the tire floating away. And as they're sitting there, they're shooting the shit and everything.

Uh, the rope goes taught and it starts and they're like, Hey, we got them. The rope goes so taught it pulls the dock away away from the shore so this little tiny dock is like floating out one guy gets carried out with it he's just in in the water by himself and you see the dock moving is it night time? it is night time then you see the dock

turning around and it starts to move towards the guy that's in the water he is like the guy that's in the water he is like the guy the guy that's still on shore is like take my word for it don't turn around just swim as fast as you can so he like swims the dock the dock the floating dock is getting closer to him his friend is like reaching out his hand he's grabbing up he's his like wet feet are slipping on the dock on what's left of the dock he finally gets up and the dock just like floats into shore and is gone and so this guy barely escaped with his life fun fact about that this was shot day

for night and then it was all dubbed adr um and it's a it's a great so you would never know it until you until you are told that you would never know it's done so well there's a is there more day for night in this i feel like did they do that at all? I think there might be. I'm trying to remember as we go on, I bet it'll come to us that there was another scene. Because once you see this scene and you see that later scene, you're like, I think they did the same thing here. Cool.

So these guys don't catch the shark, obviously. The next day we see on the I guess the main docks of of uh you know the marina of amity yeah it is absolute chaos there's all these people in boats like to varying degrees of competence you know like some some boats there's like 10 guys on there and they all have their little plans and shit like that um and this is when Matt Hooper arrives from the oceanographic

Institute at Woods Hole in the mainland. Um, and he's looking around like this is bad news. Um, he goes in, uh, to, he, he sees Brody and follows him into this little, uh, uh, shack and, uh, where Brody's like making calls like, Hey, these guys are nuts. He's a great, a great scene where Brody's alone on the phone trying to get back up to deal with this. His man Hendrix is out there on the, on the, on the pier. And he picks up like some pennies or something and throws them at the window. And Hendrix turns around and just waves. And he's like, no, get in here. It's so good. So he says, look, go out and talk to these guys you know them and he's like i don't know these guys there's people from all over that have heard about this bounty and now this is just three thousand dollars for three thousand dollars yeah yeah yeah you have that was a million dollars. That's right.

So these guys are all going out with their stupid plans to catch the shark. And meanwhile, Hooper goes to examine the remains of the girl Chrissy that was the first attack. And he's in there with the coroner's office, with the coroner and Brody. And he's looking at it. And like, you can see from his face, this is bad news. And he, he knows right away, this is a shark attack.

And so he's describing it, you know, um, in, in clinical terms, as he's looking at it at one point, um, he looks at the corner and he's like, this wasn't a boat accident. He's like pissed. Um, he takes a pen and he lifts up the arm and you can see like a huge bite has been taken out of this girl's forearm and he puts it back down and he's like here's what happened a shark bit this girl it was on a propeller it was not jack the ripper it was a shark and you've got to do something about this yeah we see these guys out on the water again they're like people aren't like they're chumming the water like throwing fish

guts in there or like just like look like cuts of meat one guy is like just lighting fucking m80s and throwing them in the water it's wild that we also there's a great little mini monologue by this guy ben gardner who is a local fisherman who's mentioned many times he just does this rambling speech as he's going out there boy where do we get those sons of bitches out on those rocks i wish your father didn't have their met their mothers when they start tearing the bottoms out of those rocks boy it's so it's so great he's clearly like a local hire this guy but that was his moment yes that was his moment and he fucking nailed it he ate it up so hooper gets back to the hooper and brody get back to the the pier where they

have caught a shark we we you know we cut to a shark mouth being opened it's like a bloody mouth um everybody's very excited like we did it we did it um it's these it's one of these boats with 10 guys on it they they caught this shark they they hoisted up on the dock so everybody can see they take a picture for the paper hooper is very very skeptical. And he's like, I don't think this is definitely the shark. He goes and measures the mouth and everything. At one point, this is one of my favorite moments. The guys that caught it are looking at it and they're like, what kind of shark is this? I think it's a macaw. I think it's this, that. And Hooper says says it's a tiger shark and a guy turns around to him this big burly guy turns around and says a what it took me i want to say i watched this movie

probably 10 times before i realized oh he's making fun of him because we see this guy we see this guy talk in in other scenes where he's like he has a normal normal voice, but he's, Oh, he's making fun of this city guy and putting on a little, a feminine, you know, a what? And it's, it's a great moment. So then Hooper goes up to Brody and says, look, I don't think this is the shark. And the mayor overhears this and starts walking over there. And he's like, it could be, it probably is, but the bite radius doesn't match. And you want to be sure that you have the correct shark and the mayor's like no this is this is it for sure and uh hooper says the best way to find out is we cut the shark open and the remains of the the kinder boy would be in there it's less than 24 hours um you know and the mayor says no there's no way i'm gonna let you do that this

this is the shark end of story goodbye so right after that everybody kind of turns and looks and what they see is mrs kintner being walked by presumably her father they're dressed in mourning she's got a veil over her face she walks up to chief brody and says chief brody and he says yes oh she takes up her veil and says chief brodydy, and he says yes. And she slaps his face. And she says, I just heard that somebody else, a young woman, was attacked before my son was

killed. So you knew there was a shark out there, and you left the beaches open. And it's tough, man. Like, this is a, it's such a good scene. It's brutal. Oh, that's devastating. Oh, it's horrible.

And he knows it. And, you know, Hooper, I can't remember if it's Hooper or the mayor says she's wrong, Martin. And he goes, no, she's not. Some trivia though, just so you know, she actually slapped him. She was not doing a good job fake slapping. And so they did 17 takes of her actually slapping him yeah yeah yeah what yeah and people would people who people who are jaws aficionados who have met

her because she still lives on martha's vineyard where this oh my god they make her i think she's still alive yes they will ask will you will you that's awesome that i think that is the, that's the origin of people like, Oh my God. Uh, uh, you know, Adam driver slit my neck open and drink my blood. Mrs. Kinder slapped my face. So, um, Hooper, uh, Brody is back home. He's, he's devastated. He is like, you know, he's, he's had a few drinks. He's sitting there at the table. He can't eat. And he's there with his little son, Sean, his youngest. And there's this wonderful moment that I think kind of happened by accident. And then they made it a scene where Brody has got his head in his hands. And he's, you know, kind of, uh, you know, rubbing his, his chin and he sees that the little boy, his little son is mimicking his

movements. So then they start to do this little game where Brody is, is making faces. He's doing these things with his hands. A little boy is, is mimicking him. Ellen is in the doorway of the kitchen watching this. It is a, it's a beautiful, tender moment in, in the midst of the kitchen watching this it is a it's a beautiful tender moment in in the midst of this character's you know story and you know at at the end he says to his son give us a kiss and his son says why and he says because i need it and so the little boy kisses him on the cheek that's really sweet it's so good and then there's a knock on the door and guess who's here. It's Hooper with two bottles of wine. Um, he comes in and sits down and, um, says, I forgot about this. Like Martin's food is on Martin Brody's food is untouched in front of him. He's like, is anybody eating this? And he just takes a full plate of food.

Love the confidence. Yeah, absolutely. And he assessed the situation pretty quickly. Yeah, I think he was right. Look, I'm not lying. Give me this food. Yeah, absolutely. Red and white. Didn't know what you were reserving. So he tells his story and he's like a rich kid from, you know, somewhere in on, I think this is supposed to be New York state.

You know, this is all, I think Amity is supposed to be off of New York. And he's like this rich kid from New York who, you know, has been studying sharks all his life. He grew up on boats and stuff like that. And so he's had the the the life of leisure that you one needs in order to make sharks a full time hobby. he says uh you know you know that's not the shark and um the only way we could have proved it is to cut open the shark and uh brody's like brody has opened up a bottle of red wine and he pours a a full water glass of red wine for himself and then and this is the thing i noticed i've noticed something new every time i watch this movie this is the first time i noticed there were ice cubes in the glass he's just got this water glass he pours red wine and then he pours each of them a normal i didn't even notice it i just watched it and i thought it was for sure a beer because yeah it's a 16 ounce like glass of wine yeah yeah yeah you can hear you can like see the glasses to the glass

the ice cubes tumbling in there and so um brody's like okay well why don't we we're gonna go down there and cut the shark open and uh ellen says can you do that and he says i can do anything i'm the chief of police so drunk he and uh uh hooper go to the dock to the little shack where this shark carcass is being kept. This is very artfully done. Hooper knows where to cut. He takes a big knife and the shark's back, for lack of a better term, is to us. And so Hooper, you can see that he is making, hidden from the camera, he's making an incision in the shark this gross milky substance first floats out so nasty it's so gross it's so gross and it must have smelled horrible well the shark that they had strung up in the previous scene was a real shark so i'm i don't know if

yes i don't know this one i'm sure is not but they said it's this one i think is fake it smelled very bad in that previous scene because they had to ship it in from florida oh it was like a shark that had been killed in florida and they shipped it in and so it only came in like a few days later and they said it smelled very bad and you can when you see it on the doctors like flies on it and stuff like this is this is the real deal so um he's like he's pulling out you know like a fish head then he pulls out like a whole fish and a whole intact fish then like a tin can and he says um you know tiger sharks this is tiger shark they're like they'll eat they're like goats they eat garbage um he says it came up through southern waters um brody says how do you know he pulls out a license plate from

louisiana and tosses it over to him so they they're like, well, this isn't it. We know for sure this is not the shark because there's no human remains in here. So Hooper has a boat. He says, let's go, let's go out and look for it. So they get on his fancy high-tech boat and they're talking and we learn why Brody moved to Amity because he was a New York cop and he just got overwhelmed by the idea that he couldn't make anything better like there was crime everywhere especially in the 70s it must have been insane and like he felt like he couldn't make a difference but he felt like moving here he could he could actually matter to a community um and he's at this point he's just drinking straight out of a bottle of white wine

so um hooper so they find you know hooper's got like sonar and radar and all this shit on his boat they find um they're getting like a blip on on his radar and they find a it's a boat a sunken boat a half sunk boat and uh Brody says oh man that's that's Ben Gardner's boat let's tow it in and Hooper's like no no let me dive in there I'll put on my my scuba suit I'll go in and just check it out and he's like I think we should tow it in. And he's like, no, we should definitely let me go in the water and check this out. He's so confident about it. Like, it's going to be fine.

He loves sharks. He loves them. Seems crazy. He's a regular Sammy. So he gets all suited up. He goes down. He's got a flashlight. And he sees like this big hole in the side of the boat under the water.

And he finds a tooth, a huge uh serrated tooth and he's looking at it and he's holding on to it and he's looking in the in the boat further and then one of the greatest jump scares in film history uh a uh horrible head floats into uh the center of the hole in the boat. It's like been under there for a few days, obviously. One of the eyes has been eaten out by who knows what. It's mottled and gray and gross. And that's Ben Gardner, the guy who gave the famous speech. My cat jumped.

It scared my cat. Oh, it got a cat! That is awesome. That is awesome. It does help that there's a huge musical sting when it comes out yes but it's a great effect it's such a great effect um and hooper is like freaked out he drops the tooth um and he comes back up to the surface and the next day they go to mary vaughan and they say you have to close these beaches i found this this tooth. Oh, but they're outdoors, by the way. They're on the beach where somebody has defaced the welcome to Amity sign.

They've put big scared eyes, painted big scared eyes on the girl in the bikini and a fin in the water and a word bubble saying, ooh, help shark. So the mayor's there. Brody and Hooper say, you got to do this. Hooper says, I found this tooth. He's like, where is this tooth? I don't see it. He's like, I lost it. He goes, look, I know you want to prove that there's a shark here so you can get your name in National Geographic. But this is there. We are not closing the beaches. The water is safe. They found a shark. And look, this is this is vandalism. That's our biggest problem right now. And so he won't budge on closing the beaches. I think it's linked to the shark, my dude. Yeah, I think so.

The vandalism seems like the kind of shark problem came first. You can't tell this guy anything. You can't talk to this guy. Impeccably dressed, but unreasonable. Exactly. His two chief qualities. So the next day it's fourth of july we see people coming in from all over the beaches are packed um there's a news crew out on the beach and they're doing a story saying like this town was plagued by fears of a shark but now here they are everybody's out there fun fact that reporter is played by author Peter Benchley. Is this where he says like a cloud came into the town? Yes. A cloud in the shape of a shark.

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. It really made me laugh. And then he felt bad about it. So everybody's there, but nobody's getting in the water. So the mayor goes up to this family this is the wildest family because it's like these two seemingly older people and he's like you got to get in the water take your kids in the water and the kids get up the kids are very young so it's like are these the

parents or the grandparents or is this just the 70s and that's what families look like so this they all join hands and they get in the water and then other people start to get in the water. You know, the family's very nervous, but everyone else is like, oh, okay, it's fine. It's great. But side note, I don't know what he's complaining about. Everybody's still there. Like everyone's on the beach.

Like it's fine. They still need to buy stuff at the stores. Yes, exactly. There's no money in the water itself so um they're taking all kinds of precautions they have uh people on lifeguard stations they have spotters all over the place they have a helicopter they have uh uh uh coast guard boats all that brody tells his son michael to tell take his new boat to the pond this estuary says go over there where it's you know less, less crowded. And he's like, oh, but that's for old ladies. And he's like,

just do it for me. You know? So he reluctantly goes over to this, uh, what seems to be the safer area. Um, you know, we see, uh, underwater view, lots of legs splashing around, stuff like that. And we know that, uh, from what Hooper has told us, this kind of like how we are in the water mimics fish in distress. And that's why sharks are attracted to us this kind of like how we are in the water mimics fish in distress and that's why sharks are attracted to us because they're like oh great this fish is dying and then they're like oh this fish has arms and legs somehow you fucking idiot do better do better so the mayor's interviewed he couldn't be happier it's like the sun is shining the beaches are full and you know how many means friendship and all this so um then we see these people you know having a conversation in the water and then this fin comes toward them somebody sees it shark everybody's going crazy

like this is absolute madness people are losing their shit people are swimming out of the water there are two instances of grown men knocking kids over there's one old man that pushes a kid off of his like floaty so that he can get on the floaty for no reason just pushes over a raft with four kids on it's like give me that you could go around that like what so that's how it really happened 100 absolutely so everybody's losing their mind um you know people are uh somebody blows a whistle and brody's like no whistles we're trying not to have a panic you know but there it's bad and like there's people that have that have to be dragged out of the water because they got essentially trampled um It's quiet.

Everybody's looking around like, okay, it's fine. We cut to these two kids in scuba gear and they have a fake fin and they, they come up out of the water. They turn around. There's all these Coast Guard guys on a boat pointing guns at them. And one kid's like, he made me do it and so hooper radios into uh chief brody like it's just some kids playing a prank then we cut to a girl with a ton of patches on her jeans is walking along near the pond and she sees the the the dorsal

fin and the i don't know what the back fin is called, but it's a great shot because it, it looks scary. It's quiet. You just see it silently. This thing is gliding through the water. And this girl, very stunted delivery, I have to say, but I mean, maybe she was trying to make it realistic. Like if I were scared, I wouldn't be perfectly enunciating shark, but she literally goes shark.

So she's going shark in the pond shark in the estuary ellen says um michael's in the estuary brody starts hauling ass to this pond um we see this fucking mansplaining dude in another boat we so we see michael and his friends in their little boat this dude comes up another boat like hey you, you guys okay over there? Here's what you got to do. We see the shark coming towards the boats. The shark knocks over both boats, right? And this, so this dude that was trying to help them out with his unsolicited advice, he is, he's trying to swim back to his boat. This is the first real glimpse we see of the shark underwater. We see him, the, the, the blurry image, the watery image of the shark underwater we see him the the blurry image the watery image of the shark go towards this guy he starts screaming we cut back to uh you know the view from the beach and we see there's a commotion this guy is screaming we go back the shark is like biting into him uh

presumably we cut to underwater this guy's disembodied leg with its shoe on it floats down we see the top of the stump is like all bloody and bits are hanging out it's really gross it's still very good unfortunately we do follow it all the way down where it hits the bottom and then you see the this leg is definitely made of rubber because it jiggles a little bit so see if you're scared there's all kinds of things like this that are very helpful along the way. So Brody is still running over there. We see kind of shark's eye view. The shark heads towards his son, Michael, and then just veers away, which is apparently a thing that sharks will do. Like they don't necessarily eat everything in sight.

They might just they might eat. They might bite this thing and go past this other thing. You don't know what they're going to do. So they get michael out of the water he's in total shock um and uh they take him to the hospital at the hospital they're admitting michael and the guy pushing the gurney that michael is on i never noticed this before but looks a lot like john early um so that's another fun little uh easter egg he's like he's like a 70s john early love it and um so they put him they put him in the hospital uh vaughn is there the mayor vaughn isn't there he's clearly in shock like he's just he's just like he's dejectedly

smoking in the hospital um and brody says okay come with me and he takes him into this room pulls the curtain he says you're going to sign this thing giving Quint the authority and the money to get this shark and the mayor's just in shock like I was acting in the town's best interest he's like trying to talk himself into

being okay about this and Brody's like just sign it and he goes Martin my kids were on that beach too and then martin hands him a pen and he signs the thing and and so brody leaves now oh boy oh boy brody and hooper go to meet quint in his shark shack which is like this this cabin by the dock that is covered with shark jaws all over. This guy is like a shark guy. So he is very antagonistic towards Hooper.

He's barely polite to Chief Brody. And this was also a thing that it took me a long time to notice that when you are younger and you watch this movie, you think Quinn is such a cool character. Like he's really fun. And then when you get older, you realize this guy's a fucking Quinn is such a cool character. Like he's really fun. And then when you get older, you realize this guy's a fucking dick. He's an asshole. Horrible.

He is an asshole. He is. He is toxic masculinity. Like he's truly terrible. And he makes things worse by being this way. So he's like, I'm just going to go out there by myself. And he's like, no, we got to go out there. And it's my party.

It's my charter. We're all going to go out there and it's my party. It's my charter. We're all going to go out there. He starts like trying to, you know, pull some dick marriage and contest with Hooper. And so the scene is set like these guys are not going to get along. And so they go out to the boat. You know, Quinn agrees to let them both come out. And, you know, Ellen is seeing him off and she is freaked out. And like, once he gets on the boat, she turns and she runs away. It's, it's like, that's such a, I love that moment so much. I think that's a great detail to include that this is,

this is terrifying. You know, he says, just tell the kids I'm going fishing, you know? Um, so they, they're out on the boat. Brody is chumming. He's throwing fish guts in the water. Um, Quint is sitting in the, in the fishing chair. Um, and he's drinking a beer. He drinks the whole beer. Uh, he just chugs the beer in one go and he crushes the can while looking at Hooper. Very funny moment. Hooper finishes his plastic cup of water and then crushes that. So, um, Quint says, Hey, drop another marker for this chum. So we know where, where we are. Brody goes back. He pulls the wrong rope and undoes, uh, some of, uh, Hooper's equipment, these scuba tanks roll out. Um, and Hooper like, like jumps and stops them from

rolling. He's like, you gotta be careful with this stuff. It's compressed air. And if you, you drop it the wrong way, this whole boat could blow up. You know, he's like, okay, Jesus. So, um, this is a great ominous thing. Quint's line, uh, starts rolling. So it clicks and he looks down at it and then it's slowly click, click, click, click, clicking. So something has taken the line, right? So it's, it's clicking, clicking slowly. And he's like getting, he's getting into this, um, you know, harness strapping himself into the chair. Uh, he puts the, the fishing rod in this, uh, holder. Um, and he, he thinks he's got the shark and then the line just goes. And so he's got something he's trying to, you know, reel it in. It's like, it's impossible. Eventually the line snaps and Hooper flies backwards.

Hooper's pulling on the line. He and Brody fly backwards. Brody hits his head and Quint's like, you're bleeding. Go take care of that. Later, it's a little bit later. Quint tells Brody, start chumming again. And Brody's like, why can't Hooper do it? And he's like, Hooper drives the boat, chief.

So Brody is muttering like, why do I have to do this? I can drive the boat, whatever. As he's chumming out these fish guts, he throws out a little shovel full. And then you see the shark. Now we're getting a clear view of the shark. Comes out of the water. Brody sees it. Snaps up. He slowly getting a clear view of the shark comes out of the water brody sees it snaps up he slowly backs into the cabin of the boat and says to quint you're gonna need

a bigger boat everybody goes so um now they go out and they look and they see like the the the length of this shark. You know, Hooper's like, it's 20 feet. Quinn says it's 25. He gets this harpoon gun and he's going to tie this harpoon. The harpoon is tied to a barrel that will then, you know, harpoon goes in the shark. The barrel will slow the shark down, you know, so he can't he can't dive. It'll keep them up and tired and everything. Um, as he's getting this all ready, um, Hooper runs and gets this, uh, tracking

device and slaps it on the barrel just in time. Quint shoots, the barrel goes, the harpoon goes in the shark, the barrel is away. And so now we know where the shark is by seeing this barrel. There's a call on the radio. So Quint goes in and they say it's the chief's wife wants to talk to the chief. And he says, put her on. And he says, hey, Mrs. Brody, everything's great. We're just fishing here. And your husband caught a couple of bluegills. No big thing news to report yet. We'll call you later. OK, goodbye. And he up um nobody nobody knows that this has happened except us uh we see the barrel being dragged they chase it um the barrel goes under um that night they're in the cabin of the boat they don't know where the barrel is they haven't seen it brody is like touching his head he's worried uh about it and quinn says hey don't worry it's not gonna be

permanent you want to see something permanent and he pulls out a false tooth then uh hooper shows a scar that he has then they start trading scars that they've gotten and they're really getting into it having a good time at one point great cutaway brody lifts up his shirt to look at his appendix scar he's like no i'm not gonna mention it oh that's great that's really funny and then so everybody's laughing and uh they're they're getting along for the first time. And, uh, Brody says, Hey, Quint, what's that one? Uh, there on your arm. And, uh, Quint says, Oh, I had a tattoo removed. And, uh, Oh, what tattoo? Um, the USS Indianapolis and Hooper stops laughing and he goes, you were on the Indianapolis. Then Robert Shaw goes into this very famous speech about the USS Indianapolis, which is a true story of this secret mission that this, was it an aircraft carrier? I think.

I can't remember, but we talked about it once on the podcast because I found out about it by, there's another podcast I listen to called obsessed and one of the the hosts on that mary beth oh joseph scrimshaw no it's mary beth barone and and benito skinner oh this is a different different obsessed and mary beth barone once talked about there is a she was obsessed with a there's a video on youtube where you can watch the Titanic sink in real time. And I woke up one morning and decided that I would do that. And I was really, really into it.

I skipped forward a bit until, cause it like, it goes just in real time. And it's a model of it happening with little blurbs coming up of like 12, like pop up video. Yeah. Yeah. Like, like 12,

15 PM safe or ship 37 goes out with, you know, 20 people on board. It's like I found it really fascinating. And then I, you know, we talk a lot about vessel heads on our show, too. Of course. So I'm a true vessel head. And this just led to me doing vessel research. And then I found out about the USS Indianapolis. I had, of course, heard this monologue before, but had

never assumed that it was real. And so it was like learning it for the first time and then piecing together that this was that I was like, holy shit, I can't believe this happened. Yeah. I can't imagine nothing more horrifying. Oh, it's the most it's the scariest fucking thing. And I mean, you guys. So if people don't know the story is, and this was a real story, the USS Indianapolis was a, a Navy vessel that, um, delivered, uh, important components of the, um, the atomic bomb in world war two. Um, the mission was secret. So when they were coming back, um, they got torpedoed by the Japanese. No one knew where they were because it was a secret mission so i think it was something like 900 i think 300 went down with the ship 900 were in the water um just floating

like waiting for for help but no distress signal nobody coming no and they were in the water for i think four days was it and i think more than how many were taken by sharks only 316 survived so that's like close to 600 people dying just floating in the water i don't know i don't know how many were killed by sharks because some of them you know was by dehydration and but yeah man just being in floating in the water for four days people being eaten by sharks around you dying of thirst probably like some of them i think were like hallucinated there's like there's interviews with survivors of it uh yeah there's a documentary about it but it yeah i truly can't imagine anything more horrifying and one detail that i told that i'm sorry i'm gonna tell again even though it's so gross and upsetting is that

when they got rescued and they were pulling them out of the water their like Skin would fall off because they Were so like waterlogged That when they tried to pull them up by their Life vests like their skin would Like slip through it and so they had To like oh my god it's so Horrifying and those poor people and I just

Can't believe it's a real thing that happened Real life is the scariest thing of all you guys We talk about it a lot. It is. So true. So true. A lot of bad things can happen once you exist. Yeah. Remember my Wordle story?

Yeah. Terrifying. So wait, one more quick thing about this. You made too much soup once. Yeah. When we talked about this, we were like, I can't believe there hasn't been a horror movie made about this. It's just too horrifying.

That's why they haven't done it. It's too horrifying. Oh, to watch that for like two hours yeah oh yeah so we thought the exact same thing but after that aired listeners dm'd us and they were like there was a movie that was made about this starring nicholas cage i started to watch this movie and it was so fucking boring like i got i got 20 minutes into it i was like i'm not gonna stick around to see people I started to watch this movie and it was so fucking boring. Like I got, I got 20 minutes into it. And I was like, I'm not going to stick around to see people eaten by sharks.

If this movie sucks this bad already, that's not a reward. No, no, buckle in. Yeah. Yeah. Horrifying.

Horrifying. Another thing about this speech, um, it was not in the original screenplay but i believe it was written and correct me if i'm wrong sam if you know this that it was it was written to give the character of quint um essentially a reason to be the way that he is about this show because he he's very he becomes very single-minded about it and it was like what is his reason for doing this and not listening to anybody else and it's this thank god they added it in because yeah it's it's it's so good and it

yeah it's so critical and yeah and uh i remember reading that um uh the first attempt at it robert shaw decided i want to be really drunk for this to do it great idea and of course it sucked don't if you're an actor listening to this don't do that amateur hour bullshit just because you heard some other famous person do it or whatever jeremy strong whoever the fuck don't do it you're not acting then you idiot we're big jeremy strong apologists here so sorry hey i understand but you can't you can't give him that one that's not good so that's rude it's rude it's rude it's disrespectful for your co-workers it's a it's a collaborative medium yes it's selfish and it's rude yes um and also it may be backed it

that's your job that's the fun thing it's also the only thing you're there to do. Yes. The only thing. So there's like a moment of silence after Quint retells this horrible story. And, you know, he finishes by saying, I'll never put on a life jacket again. Anyway, we deliver the bomb. So then there's a moment of silence. Then you hear a wail in the distance. It's quiet again. Quint starts to sing his signature tune. Farewell and adieu to you. Fair Spanish ladies. Um, nobody joins in. They're all like drunk and bummed out. And, um, it's like this real fun bonding moment for them. Then at one point there's a big bang. Um, and we see that, uh, the part of the sides of the boat, the boards are being pushed in on waters, like getting through, uh, quit notices first. And he says, okay, this is bad. So they all scramble. The shark is unseen, is just ramming the boat, attacking it over and over again.

Um, it's very Moby Dick. Like it's, it's fucking this boat up. And so then the power goes out there. They're like running around in the dark, trying to figure out what to do. Um, we can see the barrels because of the, uh, tracker that, um, Hooper has put on one of them. Uh, we can see the barrels because of the, uh, tracker that, um, Hooper has put on one of them. Uh,

we can see the barrel. So it was flashing. So we can see it. Um, they see it outside. Uh, the, the ship is taking all water.

Quint just starts firing a rifle at the, at the shark. Brody gets his service revolver. Um, and he loads it. And behind him, we see, um,

overhead, a shooting star star which becomes a spielberg uh signature from then on um i think this is the first one i feel like this was the first one um because this is the first big movie and i think that was a real one i think that was like it was real yes yeah yeah that's so cool yeah it's so cool it It's perfectly framed. Like when you see it, it's unbelievable. The luck. The luck. So the next day, Quentin Hooper trying to fix the boat and the barrel pops up. They grab the barrel line. They tie it to a cleat in the stern.

They're leaning over the boat. Brody fucks up and he ties it behind Hooper so that when the line goes taut again, we saw that in the trailer it just smashes matches his legs against the boat and guess what this doesn't come into play at all i don't know why this had to happen it's just unpleasant it has no effect it's a stressful moment that's the that's all we get but it did stress me out it's oh absolutely you see it tightening and he's like quinn's like hooper no or bro you know um so um they get they get hooper out uh quinn manages to shoot another barrel into the shark um and uh the shark goes down under the water with two barrels which is

kind of a big deal like this right this should not be easy for this shark to do but it goes all the way down um so the they're like what the fuck and then the barrels pop up a little bit away um and they start moving out to sea so they start chasing after him um you know they're kind of like it's it's kind of like a a light seafaring moment very briefly where they're kind of admiring the shark even brody is smiling like the music is very adventurous um but then unfortunately the boat is fucked up it's spewing smoke this is bad news they get the barrel ropes again tie them to the cleats the ropes start moving the barrels start moving and now the the shark is pulling the boat out to sea um it's it tilts at one point the scuba tanks almost fall over brody stops them remember the And now the shark is pulling the boat out to sea. Oh, no.

It tilts at one point. The scuba tanks almost fall over. Brody stops them. Remember the shark? These tanks are a big deal. They could explode. They could explode. They could explode.

Maybe they will. The shark is so powerful. It is pulling the cleats off of the boat. And they're like, we got to get the ropes off. It's going to tear out the whole back of the boat. Then it starts coming towards the boat and they're like we got to get the ropes off it's going to tear out the whole back of the boat um then it starts coming towards the boat quint fires a third barrel into the shark and now the boat now the shark with three barrels starts dragging the boat out to sea uh finally it rips out the cleats that uh the ropes were tied to um all three barrels pop up um so he goes under with three barrels then there's like a silence they're like he's ripped out the cleats the boat is fucked up they're just sitting they're just standing there looking out the sea and then the three barrels pop up this moment is seared

into my brain forever as the commercial break for when it would air on network television when i was a kid that's amazing um i always expect whenever i watch i expect there to be a commercial response you're like i could use a drink and you're like absolutely oh yeah absolutely snack time so um quince says he can't go under with three barrels hooper's like have you ever seen this one before well no of course you haven't this reminded me of in the bachelor anytime anyone is like everything's going great and nothing could ruin this perfect evening. And it's just like a cue that it's about to be bad. He's like, he can't go down with three barrels.

No. With three barrels? No. It's like, here we go. They're going to go down. The boat gets knocked into. Quint now says, OK, we've got, we've still got them attached to these barrels.

Um, even if he's not attached to us, I'm going to lead him out to shallow water and drown him in air essentially. And he starts to drive out. The boat is really bad now. It is like belching smoke. It sounds bad. Um, it's taking on so much water in the bottom and Hooper's like, Hey, slow down. Quint speeds up.

He's like full ahab at this point um he's singing his song and then the boat the boat just conks out they are dead in the water they are still miles from shore nobody knows where they are they have no communication with the outside world um and quinn distributes life jackets to those two guys he of course does not put one on himself and he says okay hooper, tell me about these gadgets that you got. Um, Hooper says, well, I have this, uh, kind of dart gun. I could fill the tip with a poison and shoot it at him. And Hooper's like, you, you can't get this needle through his skin. He's like, no, but if I get close enough, I could get it in his mouth or his eye. And, um, they're like, well, how are you going to get close enough to do that? He's like,

well, I'll go in the cage. But he's like, you can't do it. Hooper says, do you have any better suggestions? Turns out no one does. So they build the cage, they put her in the water. Uh, Hooper gets in there. Um, and before he goes in, this was a, this was, uh, a thing that my friend, Buddy Fitzpatrick and I used to say to each other. He's another Jaws head. Hey, Buddy. Hey, Buddy. Adult friend, Buddy Fitzpatrick.

He's a comedian as well. And so when we would have big shows, we would say to each other what Hooper says in this moment, because he's going to spit in his mask to clear it. And he goes, I got no spit. I got no spit. And that became like shorthand for us for nervousness. It's perfect. That's great. So he gets in the tank.

He's underwater. He's looking around. He sees the shark pass by him. And then it just keeps going. And it's like it came up from behind him. So he didn't see it. He couldn't get a shot. So he sees it go into the water until you can't see it anymore.

Something disappearing in water is so scary. It's so real. It's like real life magic where it just fades into nothing, into the blue, you know? So Hooper like cautiously takes the stopper off of the poison needle. And he's like, where is the shark? It comes from behind again again rams the cage like put puts a dent in the bars like splits the bars open a little bit then it just keeps ramming the cage the opening is getting wider and wider hooper is freaking out it is terrifying then

hooper manages to get kind of above as the shark is still uh going the cage, Hooper swims out of the cage and swims like down to hide. Then we cut to real footage of a great white attacking one of these cages. And it's, it's fucking terrifying. Cause he's like kind of caught in the, the chain that's supporting it. And he's like thrashing it, thrashing and going nuts.

And he's tearing this cage apart. So Hooper swims away, hides like, oh my God. And the gun, of course, is gone. There's no way he can get it back. The shark thrashing above the water now is ripping out parts of the boat. Whatever that pole is called.

I don't know what that's called, but it's important. And it rips it down. The boat is even more fucked up now. They get the cage up and it's bent but it's important and uh it rips it down the boat is even more fucked up now they get the cage up and it's bent to shit and they're like i guess that guy is dead oh no the shark comes back and he like that now the boat is like sinking like like uh stern first the stern is fully in the water the shark like comes up under the transom of the stern um and it knocks quint down um quint's trying to grab hold of something he can't hooper can't hold his hand so he's sliding down towards the mouth of the shark and he's like he's like kicking against

the the mouth like trying to keep from going inside but hey man it happens he is now so much you can do he is now in that he's screaming and and he's like he he he's in the shark uh now up to the up to his waist the shark like bites down he screams um the shark is like move is like like shaking him back and forth bites bites down again, screams with blood, like gurgling out of his mouth. Oh no. Then the shark like backs up, pulls the lifeless body of Quint under the water.

Now Brody is alone and he's like, what the fuck am I going to do now? Like this boat is sinking. He grabs a rifle. He's like, he's in like the sort of cabin of the boat. The shark comes through, like breaks through the window and Brody's like uh he's in the like the sort of cabin of the boat uh the shark comes through uh the like breaks through the window and brody's like he doesn't know what to do he grabs one of

the tanks and he's like hitting it with the scuba tank and he like fucking shoves it in his mouth and um and the the shark backs up brody scrambles out um he gets into the the crow's nest which is like practically horizontal with the water and he's got the he's got the um the rifle um and he's just looking looking okay now he sees the shark uh coming towards him from a distance and he's like okay um show me that tank show me that tank and he's shooting with a rifle at the shark and he's missing missing missing the music is going crazy and then finally um he like really takes aim and he says, smile, you son of a bitch. And he hits that tank.

The shark blows up. We see on the surface of the water, this huge explosion. Then the Hulk of the shark underwater, beautifully trailing down to the ocean's bottom in a cloud of blood and gore. Beautiful harp music is playing it needs to be said like not only is the is the theme of this movie iconic the score to this movie is perfect it's so good and like again i i i notice different things in it every time i see it uh all respect to john williams for the score it's it's tremendous um so the shark is dead hooper is brody is cheering um eventually um hooper comes back up

swims over to brody brody is so relieved that he's alive um they laugh for a little bit about just like this is insane hooper goes quint and brody Brody goes, no. Then we cut to, oh, he says, um, we gotta, so I guess we got to swim back to shore. And, uh, Brody looks off camera and says, do you think those will hold us? Um, and we cut to, they have made some sort of like makeshift raft, like out of a bar and two of the barrels and they're paddling uh they're holding on to the bar and like paddling back to shore um and uh great moment as they're going um like like i you know how long is it going to take us to get there a few hours brody says you know i used to hate the water and um hooper says i can't imagine why as the credits roll we we see it's the credits roll over the beach uh as the waves are coming in by the time the credits are ended we see them make it to the shore oh wow the end

that's a great way to end it that's a great way to end it it's a great ending yeah holy shit and that's scuba tanks those scuba tanks don't count them out they're important yeah i love that it's like climax of the movie okay movie's over yeah the shark didn't come back to life after being exploded the movie is done what else are you here to see it wasn't two wasn't two sharks working together a little baby shark coming like watching their mother be killed or something like that remember this isn't that the plot of a future which was kind of the plot yes it is i'm sure it is yeah there's definitely sequels i've never seen any of the sequels but they're not good i've seen i've seen the second one i saw the second one in theaters and it was just like one of those earliest

like movie disappointments as a kid where you where you first realize like oh movies can be bad yeah like i i wanted to like this but i didn't quite like it and why is that you feel like you're not allowed to say the movie was bad um i've seen a lot of the third one which was released in 3d um i've never seen the fourth one but i'd like to because it's the most absurd of all of them. It's like this shark is part of the family of Bruce's family, of the original shark's family and remembers the Brody family.

And so we know that's not true. They can't even remember what not to eat. This is what I'm saying. They're not crows. They are not crows. They are not crows. Who are the crows. They are not crows. Who are the crows of the sea? I don't want to meet them.

Dolphins? Maybe dolphins, maybe orcas. I don't want to meet them. I don't want to meet them. Do you not like crows? No, I like crows a lot, actually, but I don't want to get on a crow's bad side, and I definitely don't want to get on the sea version of crow's bad side. For sure.

For sure. I think orcas are very scary even though they don't yeah attack humans at the rate that sharks do but orcas can kill great white sharks and their boat is called the orca their vessel that's right that they use that's right orcas are scary man wow okay also can i just say is i don't know if this is because of how much you know and love jaws or just another thing but the casualness with which you use boat terminology was blowing me away. Our vessel heads are going to be pleased. I was astounded at terms I'd never heard before.

I didn't know what they were, but you clearly do. And I was like, OK. I looked up crow's nest and because I was like, I was like, he might need it, but he didn't need it. He didn't need it. He had it at the ready. I don't remember even all of that, but I was like, he knows boats. I will tell you that having just watched the movie, giving me a refresher on Bowen Stern was very key to my being able to tell the story. It seemed natural. Like you've known it your whole life. No, I'll forget them by tonight okay fair

it's great guys thank you for letting me tell that story that was really fun that was so fucking good i never i honestly didn't know what to expect i didn't know what to expect and it was more like heartfelt than i was expecting honestly like it was more spielberg you know yeah it is a spielberg and it's it felt more like uh like a drama, it is a Spielberg and it's, it felt more like, uh, like a drama in a way than anything else. It's a very grown up movie. You know what I mean? It's like, it's, it's really smart.

And, uh, it's, it, I think even if for the scary parts, absolutely. You got to watch it. I think you will enjoy it. And I think the, the scariness will be just enough. It will not overtake your experience of it. I mean, it's PG. I need to fucking get my shit together if i can't watch i know i know that are you too scared to watch

gremlins it's pg-13 probably exactly honestly maybe and another reason to another reason to watch just to throw in here i gotta gotta mention that chief brody is a hot dad. We like to call out a hot dad as well. Very hot dad. He's absolutely, he's very hot in this. And he's so good. Roy Shatner is so good in this movie. He's so great. There's so many little things like,

and it's not showy. It's not, I don't know. It's that when 70s movies were still doing very naturalistic kind of acting and overlapping dialogue and stuff like that, that just felt really real. those when 70s movies were still doing very naturalistic kind of acting and um you know overlapping dialogue and stuff like that that just felt really real and he is just fucking great he's great he's great and hot hell yeah and hot and hot and hot wow i feel like with the exception of the the cage scene i can do it i think and if i i'll

and i will and i will just know that like when he goes down in that cage Especially for the real footage part I can't believe that anyone fucking Does that why does anyone do that Ron and Valerie Jarrett are you Kidding me the two famous people from the Shark documentaries of my youth Here's what will help you in the cage scene

Is that the shark is very obviously fake Okay great it is clearly Just a giant puppet that is being pushed forward. And I think at that point, some of its teeth are kind of flopping out a bit. There's like some shots that the teeth are a little loose and you can tell that they're

on the brink of falling apart. Fair. Okay. Good to know. Wow. That was great. What a journey. Is there a voice? We usually end it with a voice. It's true. The most distinctive voice is Quint, I would say, in this movie. Okay. All right.

Chug like that, swallow you whole. Oh! Show me that. Before we say goodbye, though, Paul, is there anything you want to say? Do you want to plug for our listeners? I know you've got a bunch of podcasts. I have too many podcasts. I am on a podcast called freedom with Scott Aukerman and Lauren Lapkus.

It's just the three of them, the three of us having conversations and being stupid. I have a podcast with my wife called stay at home kids where we do it once a month and it's just us having a couple of drinks on a Friday night and just talking after dinner. And I also like to plug I do. I've started doing live shows again. I have a variety show that I do called Varietopia, which is at Lodge Room in Highland Park, which is such a great venue. The next one is Sunday, March 6th. Tickets are online at paulftompkins.com slash live. And if you cannot see it in person, we put the, we record the shows and put them up online. So right now on Vimeo, I have, I believe six shows up that

you can buy. They're available for purchase on Vimeo. That is bit.ly slash pft-vod yeah but just go to paulftompkins.com slash live and the link will be there as well amazing uh live shows wow how we man i missed it so much i missed it so much and then it had to go away and then it's a little i think at this point we're living with some version of bad stuff just hanging around so how do we do it you know that's right life is scarier than any movie we've said it before we'll say it again it's scary it's filled with men very scary stuff happening in this world just like today's movie unavoidable. It's jam-packed with them. It was the 70s. A lot of men. Absolutely.

This is before women were invented. We weren't doing that yet. Well, thank you so much for doing this. This was a treat. Thank you so much. It was absolutely my pleasure. Thank you for having me. Okay, Sammy, you've got this voice. I'll try.

What does he say? I'll try. What does he say i'll try what does he say from all of us here at too scared to watch i can't tell paul is impressed or horrified i'm not horrified not impressed but we're in the middle a big reaction in the middle from all of us here at Too Scary to Watch. Too Scary to Watch. Goodbye. Goodbye.

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