Too Scary; Didn't Watch - KRAMPUS

Episode Date: December 25, 2019

A Bad Santa, nasty naughty little toys, and our favorite...TONI F*CKING COLLETTE - we're recapping KRAMPUS! No guest this episode, just us 3 really getting into the holiday spirit with this movie. Emily and Sammy were both brave! A Krampus miracle! Happy Krampus to all our scaredy-cats out there, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY to our favorite Henley Cox. Follow the show: @TSDWpodcast on Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram. Check out our Patreon for bonus episodes and additional content! Rate Too Scary; Didn’t Watch 5 Stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Emily, Henley, and Sammy. Advertise on Too Scary; Didn't Watch via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is Emily, Henley, and Sammy, and you're listening to Too Scary, Didn't Watch. Hi, everyone. Welcome to Too Scary, Didn't Watch, the horror movie recap podcast for those too scared to watch for themselves. I'm Emily. I'm a scaredy cat. I'm Emily. I'm a big, big scaredy cat. I am Sammy. I am your resident brave person. So brave. I don't know, though, guys. I think, Emily, we're going to have to come up with

another descriptor for you because yet again, you have watched another... I'm like brave curious. Brave curious. That's probably so offensive. I'm really sorry. But it is how i feel about myself that i'm brave curious you're toying i'm to i'm toying with it um i'm dipping a toe in did anything scary happen to us this week i felt like i had a fun thing and i forgot it so my my not fun thing is that I did a financial review today and it was just genuinely pretty scary.

Oh, I hate that. I would so much rather just not know and live in ignorance. I know. Well, I had been doing that for months because I just haven't had any money and I like got paid for the first time today. And I was like, OK, I should look at my credit card statements and like try to prioritize which ones have the highest interest rate what do i need to pay down first and man oh man i like okay so also you know how i kind of stopped drinking caffeine for the most part looking at your credit card statements is the same as drinking coffee i was like your heart was just pounding. My heart was pounding. I was very much awake. Oh, my God.

Adrenaline coursing through your body. Yep, yep, yep, exactly. Oh, no. Hen, you said you had one? I had one. It happened today. Yeah. I did forklift training today.

Casual. So now I know how to drive a reach truck, a standing reach truck, and they're fucking hard to use. A normal forklift, I think, is pretty easy, but this one is fucking hard. And the way the day started was at 7 a.m. sharp, our instructor, Emilio, turned on the YouTube and just showed us videos. The old forklift YouTube. Real videos of factory workers being crushed. It's awful. Underneath forklifts.

That's a really scary story. I can't believe there are so many real videos of that happening. And people actually dying. Like real people dying. And it was horrible and terrifying. And made none of us want to actually get on the forklift. It's why I won't watch certain events at the Olympics is I don't ever want to see a real person die.

Like Cirque du Soleil. Oh, but do people die during Cirque du Soleil? Sometimes. Just the one time. Oh, my God. Oh, just the one time? Probably more than one time. I think more than once.

Wow. Oh, my God. That's awful. I guess people die all the time. Yeah, they do. But the thing about my day was that it really felt like, wow, working in a warehouse is just like one long Final Destination movie. I mean, I feel like maybe this is just movies teaching me, but doesn't every warehouse have a sign that's like however many days since the last accident? Because like, does it actually say that all the time?

Not in our warehouse, because our warehouse is not safety compliant, but it probably should. But it's like a very dangerous place to be. The other thing our instructor told us is that his co-worker had one time been fixing a battery on a forklift. And it got battery acid on his finger and then didn't notice until later in the day when he scratched his eye. And then his eye dissolved. Oh, my God. Almost all just screamed into the microphone. Sorry.

I'm so sorry. No, no. He was driving in his car. He almost got into an accident and almost died. Our instructor told us so many horrific stories with such a straight face. And then it's like, all right, get on the forklift. Yeah. Life is terrifying.

Scary. Scary out there. My scary thing was going to be that when Sammy just spilled the cocktail in my kitchen. That's more my scary thing. I guess it's your kitchen. It scared me because, no, I don't care about my kitchen. There was so much commotion. And I really was like, what's happening in there?

Yes, our cocktail this week was a rosemary gin fizz. It's really good. And it's the best cocktail I've ever had. It's really fucking good. It's so good. But boy, did we have a mishap. We had a mishap. I was shaking it and it exploded

all over. I mean every inch of the kitchen in my body. But also listeners should know because you're not here. You can't see. Sam was wearing some cream colored pants and they survived. And the drink has

cranberry in it. And the drink has cranberry in it. Could have gone south real quick. And she survived. So a success story all in all. Pants look great. The pants look great. Listeners, I wish you could see.

The pants look great. Should we get into this movie? We should get into this movie. Let me tell you guys what it is. I'm so excited. This week's movie is Krampus. Krampus. Krampus.

Is that the technical pronunciation? Krampus, Krampus, Krampus, Krampus. It's a song that plays a lot. And that's the only words as far as I know. I had it stuck in my head all week. Krampus, Krampus, Krampus. No, it goes Christmas, Christmas, Krampus. You're right, you're right. Christmas, Christmas, krampus, krampus. No, it goes Christmas, Christmas, krampus. You're right, you're right.

Christmas, Christmas, krampus. That's the song. And boy, do we love it. We love it. It sounds good. Just that part. I don't need to hear the real recording. That'll do it.

Yeah, no, we'll just sing it to you repetitively. It was directed by Michael Dougherty, written by Todd Casey, Michael Doherty, and Zach Shields, starring Toni Collette, Adam Scott. Toni fucking Collette. Toni fucking Collette. Adam Scott, David Koechner. Is that how you say it? I thought it was Koechner, but Koechner seems better.

I don't know. One of those. MJ Anthony, Alison Tolman, and Krista Stadler. Oh, Alison Tolman's in this one, too. Yeah. Was she in another one? She just did. Wasn't that in Drive Me? No, you're thinking about

what's her name? Alison Lohman. Different, different, different. Different. Alison Tolman. Alison Tolman. A totally different name. Got it. Sorry. My bad. Couldn't be more different. And we don't have a guest this week, so there's no one to intro

right now. Though I will say, Silent Jenna is here and holding a mic. She's holding a mic just in case. Hi. You heard it here first. Also, I watched the movie with you. Yes. And I really got a hot streak. I know.

You did. That's true. You watched Drag Me to Hell. I watched Drag Me to Hell. I watched Alien. And I watched Krampus. And I'm loving it. Now, I will say say none of these have been

very very scary like true. It's existentially scary. You know they've been like spooky and jumpy but like yeah they haven't been like deeply to my core upsetting scary but it has still been really really fun.

Well great because I got a little overwhelmed with the with the uh having to retail brave person duties it's a lot it is a lot we're relying on you heavily i do feel like we're due for like a real real scary one in 2020 we've got a scary one coming up in two weeks oh baby get ready i won't say what it is no you'll have to wait and see no spoilers um but boy did i love krampus. I can't wait to hear everything about it. And it comes, I mean, this episode, I mean, it's why we did Krampus, comes out on honestly two very important national holidays.

Yes, ma'am. The first being Miss Henley Cox's birthday. The first and foremost. The first and foremost. Thanks, guys. And the second. This is our present to you. And the second is

more universally known Christmas Day yes yes yes Christmas horror and boy is it honestly it really got me in the spirit hi guys it is cocktail hour and because Krampus has us really feeling the holiday spirit we decided to try a little bit more of an advanced

cocktail this week which is a rosemary gin fizz. To make this cocktail, you will need one egg white, two ounces gin, a half an ounce lemon juice, one ounce of rosemary simple syrup, and a spoonful of cranberry sauce, or you can replace that with a half an ounce of cranberry juice, and you'll also need a little bit of soda water. You can make rosemary simple syrup yourself. Equal parts water and sugar brought to a boil with the rosemary sprigs in there to infuse the flavor and then strain them out. And then once you have your simple syrup,

you will place the egg white into your cocktail shaker along with a straining spring from a cocktail strainer. Close the lid and shake vigorously for about a minute until the egg white is fluffy. Then you'll add in the ice, the gin, the lemon juice, the rosemary syrup, and the cranberry jelly or cranberry juice, whichever you're using. Replace the lid and shake again for another minute. This is where it exploded on me, so be careful. shake again for another minute. This is where it exploded on me, so be careful. And then you will double strain it into a coupe glass. Top with a little bit of soda water and garnish with rosemary. It's not an easy cocktail to make, but it is really, really tasty. So if you're feeling ambitious,

give it a try. I will post the recipe on our Instagram on Friday. Cheers and happy Krampus. So do we have any trivia? Oh my God, what a good question. Is that what's next? It is what's next. Do you? I looked up and I didn't find much of it interesting. I will say, you know, Krampus in general is a...

He's real. Well, he's not real, but he's real. But he's like a he has existed in what it was the folklore in like Germany and Austria yeah like Eastern Europe yeah yes yes and it's he's

supposed to be the shadow of Santa he's like the anti Santa right yes yes but anyways my only trivia that I wrote down was that this movie was not screened in advance for critics and really made me laugh i mean that's pretty funny i have a good one um it's not that good but it's fine the snow on the ground was made from material that's usually used for diapers i read that one and i like didn't even know what that meant i mean it's just like what else would it be made out of i will

say all the fake snow in this is there's like a part where i turned to emily emily and i watched this together and um i turned to emily and i was like this literally just like shaving cream blowing onto their face yeah it's like you can like see soap bubbles but at the same time it does look really cold and i was getting cold watching them where was it filmed it looks, it's like you can see soap bubbles laying on them. It's so fake. But at the same time, it does look really cold and I was getting cold watching them. Where was it filmed? It looks like it was filmed in New Zealand. In New Zealand, which is crazy. Which is very random. But I just had to realize 95% of it was shot on a soundstage.

So like why the fuck are you going to go to New Zealand to shoot on a soundstage? They do have a good tax credit but for other reasons, anything else I don't understand. They did shoot the opening sequence in an actual department store in New Zealand but like we have department stores um that's all I got

I don't know whatever whatever um let's watch the trailer let's watch the fucking trailer Saint Nicholas is not coming this year instead a much darker ancient spirit. Those are hooves. Elk? Or a goat? What kind of goat walks on its hind legs?

His name is Krampus. He and his helpers did not come to give, but to take. Everybody, hold on to each other. He is the shadow of Saint Nicholas. It's Christmas. Nothing bad's gonna happen on Christmas.

I feel like what's interesting about that trailer is if I had watched that before watching the movie, I might have thought the movie was too scary. It does make it look a lot scarier than it is. It just condenses all the scary moments into a two minute trailer. It looks way more intense than I feel like it was in actuality. And it's like amping up the jump scares with sound design because really there's not

that many jump scares. There aren't that many. They did show in the trailer the scariest moment which was truly very scary. Honestly I gotta say overall i mean we'll talk about it i thought this was just a fucking super fun movie very christmasy i truly i have like been it's been hard for me to get into the christmas spirit this year just because it's like it's fucking thanksgiving was late and they've been busy and it's just like hard to feel like it's very christmasy yeah and as soon as this movie started I was like ooh I'm there.

I'm in it. Is it because it was so cold in the movie? It was cold in the movie but also. It does look very cold. So let's just get into it right? Yeah. Can you guys just start from the very very very beginning? We will. Henley we will. I want to know everything about this movie and please don't

spare a detail. I won't spare a single fucking detail. Strap in, everybody. Let's go. I'm ready to go on this wild Krampus ride. Krampus. Krampus ride. I used to love back-to-school shopping so much that I would tell my mom

that I wanted to work at Staples when I grew up because I just loved getting all the things that I needed that I would use every day in class. I still to this day have nightmares about showing up in class without notebooks or number two pencils. Really scary stuff. But luckily I wake up and I realize I don't actually need notebooks or number two pencils anymore.

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Way more violent than you'd ever expect Than you'd ever really see in real life It's like trampling other people Someone hits someone with a skateboard They like grab a skateboard It's like they're trying to murder each other But the soundtrack You don't hear any of it. The soundtrack that plays

is it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Oh my god. Immediately a commentary on our capitalist society. A commentary on capitalism. And also I was like ooh Christmas. In a way that I can get behind. I mean it says something that

you felt immediately in the Christmas spirit. I mean I was like here the Christmas spirit after watching the scene it ends like a prolonged scene opening credits it ends with we see there's like a Christmas pageant happening inside the department store which is weird that's what I was confused about it's like it's all in a store and then makes you think

that it's like all of a sudden a child's play wait isn't this the one it's all one shot in the department store I don't know there might be some editing but they are like moving through all of a sudden a child's play. Wait, isn't this the one? It's all one shot. Yes. In the department store. It is all one shot. I don't know. There might be some editing, but they are like moving through the store and we end up on, yes, what is like a children's performance, like a Christmas play. And there are two kids are fighting, one of which is our main character, Max.

Our main character, Max, who is the child of Tony, Fuckin' Collette and Adam Scott, whose names are... I think we should just refer to them as Tony and Adam. Yeah, that's probably easier. Sarah and Tom, if we want. Literally Tony and Adam. We know from experience that it's very hard to not call Tony Collette, Tony Collette. You gotta call her

Tony Collette. So it's their kid and we see them slow motion running up to stop the fight. Wait, are they fighting on stage? Yes. Yes. It's in the middle of the play. These two. He's like, how old are they?

Do you think? I'm bad at this. I'd say 10. I'd say 10 and 11. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep.

Copy that. About the age where you question your belief in Santa. That's that's crucial. I think that's older, though. You don't question your belief in Santa at like eight, right? Don't you? Oh, you think 10 or 11 is older. I thought you were saying like you believe in it.

He does make a point that he doesn't believe in Santa, but that he that the kid he was beating up was talking about how Santa's not real and he was beating him up for like the sake of the younger kids. He was like, I didn't want the younger kids. He's protecting the younger kids. He's like very sweet. He's a noble, noble

child. So that's essentially, yeah yeah. We cut and now we're entering their home. They're all coming back home and Tony and Adam are like, what were you thinking? Why were you fighting that kid? And that's when he says, well, I didn't want them to ruin Christmas for the younger kids. Right. What a sweet kid. We meet Omi. Can I just make

a little side comment, which is that Tony Clint and Adam Scott don't seem like a realistic couple. Oh, they definitely don't even in this movie as well. Zero chemistry. Zero chemistry. I'd say. But is that a plot point in it? Their plot point is that they're maybe not happy in their marriage. Yes. Which they're good at playing in a not happy marriage.

But I gotta say, Adam Scott seems weird in almost any relationship. Honestly? With like Reese Witherspoon. Yes, Reese Witherspoon always seems weird. You know where he was good though? I thought he played well with Amy Poehler. Yeah, that one checked out. They built that well. That one worked.

But in general, yeah, I mean, he's a fucking weird dude. It doesn't matter. Is he 28? Is he 40? I just looked it up. He's 46. Toni Collette is 47. Okay.

He feels so much younger to me. And I don't know why. He has a bit of a baby face. I guess so. I just don't get him. And Toni Collette's more established. It's just like, do you deserve to be married to Tony Collette? I don't know.

I also read one review that in referring to them was starring Adam Scott and the extremely overqualified Tony Collette. It was like, Adam Scott and someone really good. Yeah, it's also like, why is she in this movie? I don't know. It's fine. She's good in it, but I don't know. Why did she agree to be in Kravis?

I mean, I guess make your money. I think she's in a weird thing every once in a while. Yeah, make your money, don't know. It's fine. She's good in it, but like, I don't know. Why did she agree to be in Crabb's? I mean, I guess like, make your money. I think she's in like a weird thing every once in a while. Yeah, like make your money, make a movie. It's fine. Also like it is a good cast. Adam Scott is weird, but he's good in it. And David Ketchner is also really good. I like Adam Scott. I feel like I just negged him, but. Yeah, we negged him, but he deserves to be negged. But I do really like him. David

Ketchner's really great. Alison Tolman is honestly great. Like, that's a good cast. Yeah. It's not like a it's a silly movie. It's not a bad movie. I think yeah they appreciate this movie in the way that we appreciate it. It's like why not have a little fun for the holidays. Why not have a little fun for the holidays. And I guess they got to go to New Zealand.

Well anyway so we meet Omi. Who's Omi? Grandma. That's their grandma. She's Swedish. She is I think German. German. She's German. But yeah, I think, German. German. She's German. Omi is Adam Scott's mom. Yes. Grandma. And she lives with them. She speaks in only German and I love when

movies do this that it's like she speaks German and everyone else just like understands but speaks English back to her. And sometimes she has subtitles. Sometimes she doesn't. Yes. Sometimes it's just like the kid goes like, she's saying this. And you're like, okay okay because it's meant to be mysterious so she i feel like one of the things that i wrote down is that she believes in santa and that's like their first

their first like interactions her and max the little boy so she's like cooking when they come home making all this christmas food yeah and i can't remember why i wrote that down does she like make cookies for santa something? And she's like, then Max goes like, are we going to all wrap presents? I think it's Christmas Eve or Christmas Eve Eve. Yes. Are we going to wrap Christmas presents together? Like we always do. And

Adam Scott goes like, why don't you do that on your own? Like you're punished for getting into a fight. And so he and the grandma end up doing it together. And she sort of like, he asks grandma, like, do you believe in Santa? Or like, what do you think about it together and she's sort of like he asks grandma like do you believe in Santa or like what do you think about Santa and she was like I think Santa is like who you think he is

cryptic but she clearly like has some faith in the thing yes and then I think pretty quickly the like other side of the family comes over. Yeah.

The moment we get is the daughter. There's also. So this family is. I'm sorry. Yes. An oldest daughter in like high school, early high school. Beth is the older sister. Yeah.

She's in high school. She has a boyfriend. She's obsessed with her boyfriend. So we see her. She's like with her boyfriend. Typical like teenage girl. That's like, oh, I hate my family. Yeah.

I love my boyfriend. The cousins are coming for Christmas. And we're introducing them by saying they're like missing some DNA. They're like described as like very stupid and annoying and awful. Oh, that's what they say prior to them coming over? Yes. Okay. But they're like the wrong end of the gene pool.

They say something like that. Cousins. They hate them and the daughter is skyping with her boyfriend being like oh those cousins are coming and then they come they arrive and it's david ketchner alice and tolman and they have four kids um one son who is like the weirdest kid he never speaks he doesn He doesn't speak. He just stares. He's weird. He looks like Augustus Gloop. He's like very much like just like a little like. You know what else he looks like?

The cute rat from Cinderella Gus Gus. Oh yeah. He's also like not cute. He's not cute. He has a very unpleasant expression on his face. He looks pissed off. And it's just like unnerving. He never speaks. He's also like not cute. He's not cute. He has a very unpleasant expression on his face. Like he looks pissed off.

And it's just like unnerving. He never speaks. He never speaks. And his mouth is just in this really weird little like puckered position. Is he an agent of Krampus? I don't think he's an agent of Krampus. I think he's just very stupid. They present him as being like very stupid.

Yes. And then there's two daughters who are very much like dressed. Stevie and Jordan. Stevie and Jordan very much dressed like boys, look like boys. How old are they? Early teens. They might be the oldest. They might be the oldest.

Are they twins or are they just? I think they're just sisters. And then the. A baby. Then Howard Jr. is the Augustus Gloop one. Oh, yeah. And then a baby who they forget in the car for a bit. Yeah.

And it's like a whole thing like boisterous and yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're loud and I mean, David Ketchner, if you know him from like Anchorman, it's he's like he always plays like a like big like, hey,

I'm right. Right. They're like the exact opposite of Adam Scott and Tony Collette. They like just waltz right in. They left their baby in the car. Their kids are like just fucking waltzing in. Oh, they brought like their RV and their Hummer and they like have guns and they're like that that vibe.

OK, got it. Got it. And they surprise bring the aunt. Aunt Dorothy. And she's like always drinking and talking about drinking. And Tony Collette is like mad about it she's like she's a fucking asshole yeah like and then her sister who this is Toni Collette's family

Allison Tolman is her sister and she's like she agrees and she's like I know she's fucking awful but we like went to bring her gifts and she like had a suitcase packed so what were we gonna do and she came with us right yeah so then they have a dinner a family dinner a family dinner a family dinner where they're like tony collette like makes creme brulee and they're like what the hell is this

shit and they're just like little mini like rotisserie chickens she makes like this really beautiful dinner and they're like can we get some like can we get some cut up hot dogs like mac and cheese and hot dogs and she's like disgusted by it but they're like what the fuck is this dinner it's it's not going well for any of them no everyone is mad where's the mac and cheese and hot dogs I ask that everywhere I go I get it where is it why the fuck are you not

serving that to me and earlier when they entered the girls Stevie and Jordan the older girls saw that Max had a letter to Santa in his pocket and they do it like they give themselves a glance like oh my god my God, this fucking idiot. And we learned they've stolen it. And they're like taunting him at the table.

They pull it out and they're like Santa. They're going to like read it out loud to embarrass him being like, oh, he believes in Santa. And it's like this really sweet heartfelt letter. It's the sweetest letter where he like wishes well to his everyone in his family. He's like I wish me and Beth hung out more. I miss her and I wish my parents were happy in their marriage and the asshole girls read this out loud so everyone's hearing it. And he's like I

wish uncle, what's his name? Aunt Linda Howie. I wish uncle Howie and aunt Linda like I wish life was like easier on them I know they have it really hard but the end of the letter is I wish that uncle howie didn't wish that his daughters were boys and they're the ones reading this and they get to and they're like fuck you he doesn't wish we were boys but they're like dressed in like hunting and they're named

stevie and jordan and they're like he like wants them to like rest and he like wants them to be boys yeah um for sure and they get really because that's sure. And they get really pissed. Because that's the sore spot. They get really pissed. And then they all start fighting across the table. He tries to take his letter back. They're hitting each other. I think eventually he storms upstairs. And he said he hates Christmas.

He screams that he hates Christmas. And he just wants it to be how it used to be. And then he has a little talk with Adam Scott who's like it's just be and then he has a little talk with adam scott who's like you know it's just three days with them like we just gotta make it through it'll be okay and then before adam scott leaves he kisses his son on the head and i just love to watch a father kiss his son on the head it's really sweet um and so then max is alone in his room and he has his letter and he gets real mad and frustrated. Yeah.

He's not. He's fed up and he tears up his letter and throws it out. He opens the window, throws it up to the sky where it just flies straight up into the heavens. Not the way that wind goes. Not the way a letter would go. It goes straight to the heavens. Not the way that wind goes. Not the way a letter would go. It goes straight to the moon and it is clearly something's up. And

instantly a very ominous black cloud starts forming. Huge winter storm rolls in. And yeah, there's an enormous storm rolling in. A blizzard. And the next morning they wake up and like the power is out.

The streets are snowed in. And the power is out and they're like how are we going to survive for three days? We have 12 people in this house. No power. No food. And the first thing that happens is a delivery guy appears. Like a DHS man. Specifically a DHS man.

This is important. This becomes important. Sponsored a DHS man specifically DHS man. This is important. This becomes important. Sponsored by DHS. One line and nothing else. So he's dropping off DHL? DHL. He's dropping off like one of those cheese baskets. A cheese basket

if you will. And there's a big mystery Santa bag outside the door. In like a velvet huge Santa bag outside the door. In like a velvet huge Santa bag. It's like a Santa bag. Like a drawstring big old velvet Santa bag. And I think it's Linda that opens the door and is like,

oh, is this from you too? And he's like, must be from the guys in brown. Must be from the boys in brown. Oh my God. A reference to UPS. A reference to UPS. Oh my God. When's FedEx reference to ups oh my god when's fedex gonna get involved thank god we're getting this get the permission to use ups just dhl so we say the boys and brown but so linda hauls in this mystery bag without even looking in it which i think that's how heavy it is it's it's like she opened the door and the wind is like blowing and it's

cold and it's like snow it russian in her face it's a bad storm it's cold. She opens the door and the wind is like blowing and it's cold and it's like snow. It's rushing in her face. It's a bad storm. So she brings the bag in. And about the same time. Beth is like, I need to check on my boyfriend. Well, a little bit before this, Max, the son, looks out the window and he sees a snowman that they did not build.

A big snowman that they did not build. And big snowman that they did not build and he goes mom dad there's a snowman outside and they're like well I don't know someone probably made it but I don't know he's like but like who who would have made it and they're sort of like I don't know but this becomes important

Is it a normal looking snowman or a scary snowman? It's a little scary It's not like cheery It's not Off the bat scary But it is like It's not the scariest snowman you've ever seen

It's not Jack Frost the snowman But it's not like a standard Like three spheres and a carrot sort of situation And it's also like facing the house It's like looking right into the window And so Beth goes She's like trying right into the window. It's in their yard looking at them. And so Beth goes, she's like trying to text her boyfriend. There's no service. There's no service. The phone lines are

out. Everything is bad. Off and bad. It's bad. It's cold and bad. And she there, he lives like a few doors down. Very close. And she's like please can I just walk over and check to make sure that like he's okay. And Adam Scott and Tony

Clare are like reluctantly like okay like I think that'll be fine be back in an hour come back soon don't yeah like don't be gone too long but they let her go you gotta let your teenage girl live her life you know I get that I get that and then I get I think we get what I think is the scariest part of the movie this yeah this is a big scary scene. And also I was sort of like, oh my God, already? Like I remember watching and being like, damn it's happening now. This is a quick movie. I feel like it was an hour and 38 minutes if I remember correctly. And you feel

like it was and it was. An exact hour and 38 minutes. I feel like it was an hour and 38 minutes. I could be wrong. An hour and 38? But it felt like an hour and 38. That's what it felt like to me. It felt like a crisp 98 minutes. What it was. But yeah, so she's walking down the street and it's cold as fuck.

Like she's like, yes, I have no idea why this. I mean, teen love. She's walking down the street and it is like cold and she can't like see in front of her. It's a crazy winter storm. It's like an enormous blizzard that has happened. I might not say the blizzard is insane. It's a crazy winter storm. It's like an enormous blizzard that has happened. Huge. I might not say the blizzard is insane. It is really crazy. And she sees the DHL

van. The van. Empty. Oh no. She walks up and empty, looking around. Nobody in it. And then I feel like she hears like a spooky sound she just but also the sky gets really dark like all of a sudden she starts it's almost as if she like

entered an alternate reality like i felt very like stranger things about it yes i remember as she's walking everything becomes like dark and spooky and like almost like her reality shifted which is cool yes and then she sees krampus she's well do we see krampus or does she just see okay i guess we don't know who it is yet in the trailer in the trailer he has little goat hooves he has and he does horns um but okay so she she hears a noise and she looks over and on a neighbor's roof, you just see kind of like a like figure. Like black and robed and hunched. Like spooky Santa. Spooky Santa.

Spooky Santa. It's that spooky goat Santa. Spooky goat Santa. Wait. Okay. So is he more of goat or more human? Well, I would say he's a human with hooves and a goat horn situation. Yeah.

He's like a centaur. Kind of like a centaur? Maybe. We didn't really see his body. He doesn't have a horse body. He has just like a horse bottom. Well, he's a goat. A centaur is horse. No, no. Okay, fine. Goat. A fawn. You're thinking of a fawn. Okay, so he just has like

two cute little goat legs. They're not cute. They're not cute. They fawn. You're thinking of a fawn. Okay, so he just has like two cute little goat legs. They're not cute. They're not cute. They're huge. And then like a cute little goat horn. No, no, no. He's nasty. He's like eight feet tall and like hunchbacked. And his fingers are like wormy, like rooty, like a carrot that you pull

out of the ground. Do you know what I mean? Or like a root vegetable. Like a root vegetable fresh from the earth. I can get behind it. I'm into it. Sounds cute to me. Are you trying to tell me you think Krampus is hot? Hot or not, we'll add a poll. I think we should do a poll because I

feel like Krampus sounds really attractive. I have to tell you, he's definitely not. And that's not it is not. It is an objective fact. I hate to say fact on this podcast. He's not hot. I hate to say it. I hate that I had to say it, but I had to say he's not hot. He's on a roof. Well, let's agree to disagree. No. Alright, Emily. Take it away. No, I don't know. Beth looks over. It got really dark and spooky.

She looks over and he's just like on this roof. And she knows it's bad news because everything got spooky and crazy. She starts running and as she runs, he jumps from roof to roof and follows her and he's like way fast. Like a Neo in the Matrix. Yes. I mean, jump.

What's not hot about that? Sorry, I shouldn't have used a keanu fucking metaphor we shouldn't have used a keanu metaphor that was on me that's on me you walked right into it but so she event so she goes and hides under that delivery van she like he's jumping around she goes like i'll hide under this van and we see we're like looking under the van we see his like hooves appear. Walking around the van. Going all around the van and then he's gone. Disappears.

And it's silent. And all she sees is a little music box. A little tiny old music box. And it's going ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding dingmNnongnongnongnone she sees she sees a little music box. A little music box. And it's going. And it's turning on its own. It's really scary. It's so scary. And she's staring at it. And then it stops.

It just stops before the pop. And it feels like an eternity that we are just staring at this music box. We cut outside of the van. And she screams like she's definitely being murdered. And that's it. And then back at the house, another snowman appears. There's another snowman. Now there's two

snowmen. And this is the point where I, a very smart movie viewer, went, uh-oh. You were like, I'm those snowmen mean something? Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Catching on.

I'm catching on. Earlier than most. Yeah. Other people were really scratching their heads at this point. They're like, what? More snowmen? And I'm like, I don't know. Seems like a good omen.

I know why. And so then Adam Scott, it goes back to the house adam scott and um howard are like we need to go out it's like dark now and they're like she's not back yet that's not okay we need to go out and like find her they are opposites they don't like each other they don't like each other at all is not what they want to do adam scott's intellectual david kashner's like i want to shoot my gun he has a hummer they go into his hummer which he's very proud of like my hummer can drive through this blizzard like it's a fucking hummer also adam scott's really good at not getting along

with people yes every single thing that he's in and being the guy that like other men are like this fucking guy like and adam sc Scott's like fuck you yeah um I'm smart have you ever heard of it yeah exactly yeah I saw him at Gelson's once anyway keep going um and they go out and they find an abandoned snow plow

mm-hmm and I don't really remember what they do so they look they see the like lights are flashing up the snow plow and they so they walk up to it they're on foot they like drive the Hummer but then get on foot because they see this snow plow they go to see and the lights are flashing up the snowplow and so they walk up to it. They're on foot. They drive the Hummer but then get on foot because they see the snowplow. They go to the boyfriend's house.

They are right in front of the boyfriend's house, essentially. That's where Beth should be. And it's like a winter wasteland. Yeah, it's already like apocalypse like fucking filled with snow and dark.

No one is there. It's empty. It's as if it's been abandoned for a hundred years. Yeah. It's so scary. And dark. And no one is there. It's empty. It's as if it's been abandoned for a hundred years. Yeah. It's so scary. And they're just like sort of, and they like flashlights on their. They're like Beth.

And they're like Beth. But like a fucking, like come on now. She's not there. She's definitely not there. She's not there. She's for sure dead. Oh, they also see hoof prints. Yeah, they see hoof prints.

They have guns at this point too. And Adam Scott goes like, you brought guns to Christmas? And he he's like you got to protect your flock that's the thing that's repeated a lot of times i didn't even write down because i thought it was like his flock it's so fucking like i mean it's a jesus patriarchal and gross yeah yeah um but anyway they have guns they walk in oh they see so they're exploring the house they see the hooves and and uh david ketchner's like oh this is like, look at these hooves. One thing is that the chimney is like kind of blown out. The chimney is blown out.

As if someone, a bad Santa of sorts, came down and burst through the chimney. The chimney is blown out. So then they're like, oh, spooky, spooky house. Spooky, spooky. And they walk back outside and they're like looking around scared. Wait, we missed something from the inside. David Ketchner looks over at the fridge. Sees a little gingerbread man with a knife, a huge kitchen knife stabbed through his center into the fridge

and he goes like what motherfucker would do this like he's like that's crazy becomes important things are not looking good things are not good here the neighborhood has been attacked yes by a Krampus but they hear about screaming

they hear someone screaming and they run back outside they run back outside and They run back outside and they're kind of looking around frantically and then I think Howard just gets kind of sucked under. Pulled under the snow. Almost as if something grabbed his ankle and was like

Yes, there's like four feet of snow. He just disappears into the snow. And we see like a trail through the snow. And it's like a groundhog trail. It's so creepy. Honestly, but it's like kind of funny. Like it's very like, oh, here he goes.

You can like see exactly where he is being pulled through the snow. And then, I don't know. Adam Scott shoots it. Adam Scott shoots the thing that's pulling him, which is a big moment because he's a little girl and he's using a gun. I hate guns. And he saves his life. He shoots at shoots the thing that's pulling him which is a big moment because he's a little girl and he's using a gun. I hate guns. And he saves his life. He shoots at whatever the thing is. It retreats. We get David Ketchner back.

How does he not shoot David Ketchner while doing that? That's very impressive. Pure luck. Okay. This is a bonding moment for these two men because they did not see eye to eye. This is a movie about meeting in the middle. It's a movie about meeting in the middle. so they they david ketchner survives they go to go

back to the hummer and it's burned and destroyed and gone destroyed gutted gutted and oh that's also where we learn that david ketchner um was bit by whatever this thing

had had him in his jaws on his leg and his leg is like fucked up. Yeah. No. Yeah. Does that mean he's going to turn into a Krampus? It's not that kind of movie, hen. No. But but you're getting the genre. Yeah. But it's not that kind of movie. So they, I think, have to walk

home. They walk home. And they're all the whole family is like scared sitting by the fire. Where's Beth? The fireplace is really going because that's their only source of heat and light. Everything is off. But it brings them together, right? It brings them all together.

It forces them to interact with each other. And Omi makes a point of being like, we gotta keep the fire burning. Keep the fire hot. Don't let the the fire burning. Keep the fire hot. Don't let the fire go out. Keep the fire hot. Okay.

She's acting weird. Yeah. And Max is like, Omi's acting weird. And Adam Scott's like, she always gets a little weird around Christmas. She never wants to talk about it. They come back, the two dads dads and they're like the moms the moms are like freaking out like what happened and they like make the children go into the kitchen with

Aunt Dorothy because they're like we got it like something's fucked up right and they don't want the kids to know and they couldn't find their daughter and they couldn't find their daughter the kids overhear everything and like they know that something's out there so they decide to board up all of the doors

and windows and they're like we're gonna stay put we will find Beth when we can but like something's out there we have to fucking hole up right someone has to take it's night time so someone has to take first watch while we sleep I'd say they're all like being really nice to each other this is like bonded them well even

Howard fucking David Ketchner says to Adam Scott like I really I've like judged you haven't liked you very much but like I thank you for so much for my life and I misjudged you and right it's like a little bonding moment and then Howard agrees to take the first watch he's like

you go to sleep with your family I will stay up for the first watch and he falls asleep he falls asleep as you know that he fell. Immediately. He falls asleep and as he's sleeping, we see, they're all sleeping together in the living room. Everyone's sleeping in the living room. It's fucking cold.

We watch the fire go out. Goes out. Omi said. Omi said, keep the fire hot. We see it go out and literally, like the second it goes out a nasty little fucking fish hook comes down big clangy rusty fish hook drops down the chimney everyone's asleep nobody notices but it's got a little jingle bell on it a little gingerbread man

gingerbread man not dissimilar from the one we saw stabbed to the fridge. Alive and well? Alive and well. And he is giggling. He is laughing. He is having a great time. Like at a Shrek. He's very Shrek-like. Not Shrek the Ogre, but from the movie Shrek.

Yes, yes, yes. And none other than Augustus Gloop. Augustus Glous gloop gets tempted by this very clear trap he wakes up he sees a little gingerbread cookie jingling in the chimney and goes like yeah i'll eat that with a huge hook that is not hidden from you eat that walks up what he walks up to this fish hook trap in the chimney and grabs it, I think. Takes a bite out of the cookie. Okay.

Your first instinct is not hunger in this situation. I think if you're a guest, it's poop it is. It's just deep curiosity. So at this moment, it's not animated. It just looks like a cookie. So he's like, yeah, that's normal. He goes, he takes a bite. When he takes a bite, he looks at the cookie and it looks back at him and goes.

Like it's really mad that a bite was taken out of it. And he freaks out. The cookie wraps the chain around him several times. So he's all trapped, which I mean, he didn't get stabbed by the hook, which I did. I was really anticipating a hook stab. It didn't happen because that was what I was fearing.aring yeah he just got wrapped up and tied up with the chain um and then everyone kind of wakes up in the commotion tony collette is the first on the scene kind of grabs him by the legs to try to weigh him because he gets sucked up pulled up they're trying to pull

him up through the chimney there's a battle ens ensues. Yeah, it's very funny. It's like it becomes Toni Collette at his feet, Adam Scott at her feet, David Kestner at his feet. Like a train of people pulling through the chimney as they get pulled up. But eventually, Toni Collette loses her grip. She loses her grip. Little Howie Jr. Gets pulled up by Krampus. Krampus gets him.

By the hook? No, he's tied up in the chain. He's been wrapped around the chain. There's no hook. Oh, and he gets pulled up so Tony Kidd's behind him. Well, they will set up that hook. I want to clarify. No hook being used on him. So they all come out and then

David Ketchner, it's his son, he looks up in the chimney and he's like, Howard Jr. And one shoe falls onto his face. One of his son's shoes. That's pretty sad. And he's gone. The only son that he had and clearly all he wants is a son. He wants a son.

So he's gone. He's gone. And then I think this is when we get Omi's cautionary tale. Omi goes like, what's going on? And she's like, okay. I'm here to give you context. I guess I got to tell you what's going on. Because I know. I know.

I've known the whole time and here we are. I've known every year. I've known fucking every step of the way. I was hoping you wouldn't come to this, but it has. It has. I've had to reveal myself. Okay, can I just say that i can't wait for 10 years from now and they're elf on the shelf horror movies honestly up the top is fucking terrifying they are they're spooky it's weird it's weird that that's a thing now but

that's awful worth a whole other podcast we get like an animated flashback of her childhood and basically Is it a 2D animation? Yes. And it's like her whole family being slaughtered by Krampus and She like is angry that nobody believes in Christmas and so she goes like. Yes, that's important. It's when people lose the Christmas spirit.

Krampus comes in in the night and murders her family. Murders her whole family, both her parents. Because they've lost their generous spirit. Yeah, and she wishes that they would go away. I don't know. It has to be tied to her wishing that they

would just... that she doesn't want them anymore because they don't have the Christmas spirit. She's like, forget it. Similar to Ira Max throwing his Christmas wish straight into the sky. Yep, yep, right, right, right. Similar to Ira Max throwing his Christmas wish straight into the sky. Yeah, yep, yep, yep. And she says that Krampus left her behind as a reminder of what happens when you don't have the Christmas spirit. And he left her a bell, a single little old school like silver bell.

And then back to the house. They're all clearly pretty horr silver bell and then back to the house pretty horrified yeah back to the house they get separated that just happens and then fucking Howard goes ah they're all like spooked and then he goes ah fucking bullshit like this crazy lady who cares whatever

garbage the rest of them are like pretty shaken by the tail. And then Also crazy she hasn't revealed this previously. I think she was crossing her fingers. Hoping it wouldn't. Hadn't happened up until now.

I mean she's lived a whole life. Everyone would just always have the Christmas spirit. This feels like just like a long game marketing campaign by Hallmark. Yeah, fuck Hallmark. We'll come for you if you don't have the Christmas spirit. You gotta believe. You gotta fucking believe.

So then Stevie and Jordan have to pee. So they go upstairs to pee. They go upstairs to the bathroom because Aunt Dorothy unloaded in the downstairs bathroom I think is what they unload to. One of them had to go to the bathroom and was afraid to like unloaded in the downstairs bathroom I think is what they allude to. They're like one of them was had to go to the bathroom and was afraid

to go alone so they go together because they're like Dorothy fucking unloaded in the downstairs bathroom and we have to pee. They go upstairs and they hear Beth's voice calling to them. Being like Stevie Jordan and they're like Beth where have you been? Everyone's been looking for you and it's like in the attic

Scary. It's dark because there's no power don't go up there don't do it they both go up there and I my notes just say insanity they start screaming yeah no we so we see them going up and they go up to

the attic or wherever where they hear Beth's voice we cut to downstairs and we just hear them screaming and then the rest of the family runs up and the so then Toni Collette Adam Scott and Allison Tolman go like let's go upstairs let's see what happens

they make David Ketchner stay downstairs because his leg is fucked up yes like you stay here we're gonna go up and see what the deal is they have flashlights they have guns yes at least one gun're going to go up and see what the deal is. They have flashlights. They have guns. Yes. At least one gun. Yes. And they run up. And this is like the big.

This is the biggest moment. This is the big thing. And there's one really, really crazy monster. Oh, my God. So earlier we saw Alison Tolman is upstairs like wrapping her Christmas gifts because she's very sad about her son being taken by a monster and's like, I just want to wrap these presents for my girls. And she's with the ominous Santa big old bag from earlier. And she goes to open the boxes that were delivered in that bag.

And they see that these boxes have been burst open from the inside. So whatever was in the boxes burst their way out. And they go like, huh, that's not good. Doesn't look good. Doesn't look good. Maybe it was the boys in brown. It might have been the boys in brown.

It might have been the boys in brown. Oh, man. Big UPS propaganda film. This is secretly, yeah, just a big... UPS and Hallmark team up. What can Brown do for you? I don't fucking know.

It's just a campaign effort from FedEx's point of view. Making everyone else look bad. But so in the attic, basically, they just kind of are confronted by like monster after monster. Well, like one monster. So I think the first one monster and then like oh they see the wormy guy first I think who is the scariest one for sure so they like

he's in the trailer right he's fucking nasty so they like see these gifts open and they're like what the fuck they turn around they see the tail end of this like he's huge tubey wormy it's like a 20 foot long like snake bodied clown

nasty like a million teeth like unhinges his jaw you know we see we in his mouth we turn to him to get his attention and we see feet going down his throat so it's one of the daughters in the

process of eating one of the girls. He's like swallowed her. Eating one of the girls. He is the jack in the box guy. So he's who Beth saw earlier and screamed about. He's oh my God. So fucking nasty. The way his jaw opens, it like splits at the chin. Yeah.

And it opens down like a normal mouth. And then the chin splits in half. And it is so fucked up. And he's huge. And so then once there's him him they start getting attacked by him there is and like an angel doll with a like nasty crazy bloody mouth that starts attacking them and then downstairs while this is all is happening um howard is being little gingerbread gingerbread men like a lot of them. They start shooting him with a fucking nail gun.

Oh yeah. They like they're like and meanwhile they're like laughing and they're having a great they're like having a great fucking time. Yeah. They're like toys and they're nasty and evil but they're like just attacking

the shit out of everyone. They're sadist toys um there's also a bear a teddy bear there's a teddy bear with like crazy nasty jaw yeah sharp teeth a robot that's like shooting knives at adam scott yeah it's bad they're getting fully attacked by toys that's not good big fight scene they they find stevie jordan is dead she's well she's inside the worm we don't think she's dead yet but she is in the that's not good big fight scene they find Stevie Jordan has been eaten well she's inside the worm we don't think she's dead yet but she is in the body of the worm

let's call it the worm they see Stevie who has been like pre embalmed or whatever she's been like wrapped up in little nasty snake snot snake snot nasty snake snot like a spider cocoon yes yes yes yes and they get her out she's

dazed and confused yeah they get it well actually this is the one which Allison Tolman's character so she like sees her other daughter is okay and like it gives her fucking that like right mother can lift a car fucking where she's just like fuck no

fights off all the toys like gets like out of there gets the and I think it is Stevie gets Stevie fucking gets them all downstairs they shoot some of the toys they're like they make it meanwhile David Ketchner is fighting off the gingerbread man he shoots a bunch of them except for there's one more that comes

at him and then the dog which we failed to mention we failed to mention the nasty cousins have this really great bulldog who eats the last gingerbread man and saves the day. Very yummy. So they all come back downstairs and they're like the snake guy gets away

gets away but they're like they kill like quite a lot of the toys. Yeah. But then they're all kind of in the living room downstairs like oh man we just had this battle with all these toys. This was nuts. And then you hear these like giggles. It's the elves.

And so I'm waiting for the mutant reindeer to come into this story. They don't. Oh, me. There are some. Are there? But I wasn't going to mention them. They're not significant. OK.

Oh, me was like. Oh, so oh, me says elves andves And all the elves Come in and they're creepy and scary And spooky And naughty They're naughty as hell They have like porcelain doll faces But like scary

And are wearing like cloaks And are giggling And are fucking They like burst through the wall they're fucking loving how nasty and naughty they are and they snatch the baby they snatch the baby elves love babies

elves love babies they snatch the baby and then they like chain up the aunt oh they chain up aunt Dorothy and she goes like see you in hell motherfucker they just like pull her out they yoink her out so they take the baby and aunt Dorothy and she goes like see you in hell motherfucker they yoink her out so they take the baby and Aunt Dorothy

and then you hear like like a wolf like creepy horn and all of the little elves are like bye bye bye and they slip out and they run away and they're having the best time worm sorry is back for a second

and David Ketchner like holds on to his tail as they like as he slithers out. Oh, right. And they're like, we gotta go to that snowplow. That's our only chance. So we gotta get the snowplow started. We could drive to find help. So like everyone hold hands.

We're going. And then as they're like, as they're planning, then we hear this like bangs on the roof. Which is Krampus stomping around on the roof. On his cute little goat hooves. They're not cute Henley. Stop trying to fuck Krampus. He's just like

ooh look at my little goat hooves I'm gonna stamp on the ceiling. Henley I swear to fucking god. I picture it perfectly. I get it. Krampus is nasty nasty imagine it however you would like to listeners but that's how i'm thinking about it it's just cute dainty little little tinty oh me here on the roof it's not like that no it's not like that at all it's a big clumpy he's there clumpy he's a monster monster and um so so they're like okay we gotta go we gotta go they all run out

they're all holding hands doing a little chain Adam Scott's like everybody hold on to each other nobody let go and as they run out um Omi is the last one inside and Max looks back and is like Omi come on and Omi like turns to him and is like be good be good oh she's sacrificing

herself and then closes the door and because they've like built all these like wood like barricades. She barricades herself in. And they're like banging on the door like. Oh, yeah. Like Adam Scott's like, mom, come on. And Max goes, she wanted to stay. Yeah, she's trying to help.

She wants to confront him. She's trying to help. She wants to confront Krampus. So they let her. They leave her. And you know what? She does confront Krampus. She does and it doesn't. And it does nothing. It does nothing.

Oh no. He just kills her and it's like, all right. Never mind. I guess it gives them like a two minute head start. So Krampus comes down the chimney. He busts the chimney open like we saw at the boyfriend's house. Honestly, I like how real that is. I get it. I do. Yeah. He like comes in. It's kind of refreshing. They stare

at each other. They have this moment. And then like fucking. Wait. He's like, you're immortal. I'm going to kill you. His nasty tongue comes out. Oh, he has this really long, nasty tongue. Like crazy tongue.

So gross. Licks her face. Like long and pointy. Ugh. And then let's describe what he looks like in that face. Let's try. So I'd say corpse-esque. Corpse-esque?

Santa corpse. It's like his mouth is frozen wide open like he's screaming but it's permanently frozen that way and he has like nasty I don't know like his skin is like almost He's like very like jaundiced.

Yeah, it's so gross. And his eyes are like lizard eyes. And the pupils are like sideways. And his eyes are yellow. Gray, like wispy, nasty hair. A cloak. And again, if you remember from before, his fingers are root vegetables. He's really gross.

He's very gross. Very gross. So he, I think, takes maybe the bell from Omi. I think he maybe takes the bell from her. really gross he's very gross very gross so he um uh i think takes maybe the bell from omi i think he maybe takes the bell from her and then opens his little bag of toys and this like evil little nutcracker comes out or we're meant to understand

a lot of toys nutcracker fucking kills her yes and then it cuts to them back in the snow finding their way to the snow plow and they kind of drop quickly. This is the point in which it's just like oh bye like oh my fucking god. Well Adam Scott is

first and it's like meant to be emotional and he turns to Tony Collette and he's like I love you. The thing is coming at him from under the snow like it happened earlier. And he's got the shotgun and he's like I'm going to sacrifice myself to give you more time I'd say now the amount of time

that he gives them is seconds 15 seconds it's like same as Omi they're both like I'll sacrifice myself and it means nothing but fine whatever do what you gotta do you're not gonna die anyway you might as well have a heroic out so he gets pulled under he gets killed so he like has a yeah and the implication has been earlier

that like he and and Tony Collette are not like happy in their marriage but they have this like I love you moment hug kiss yeah uh then he's shooting he's like shooting at the thing under the snow as they walk away and then he gets pulled under

within fucking seconds of this happening is Allison Tolman next? Allison Tolman is next. She goes like, I didn't even see it happen. I just remember being like, goodbye. Like she also says her goodbyes and she's like sucked under the snow very fast. And then Tony Collette. They're at the snowplow now.

They're at the snowplow. So Tony Collette is putting Max and Stevie into the snowplow. And then also goes like, goodbye. Like, I love you. I love you i love you i'm fucking done i guess and she gets sucked under and now it's just max and stevie in the snowplow and they're obviously like 11 year old children they're young they don't know how to drive but he's still like trying his part is never gonna fucking work he's trying his darndest he's trying to start it he's turning that key and it's not working obviously the car is so frozen and then elves smash through the windows

and grab stevie out so max is the only one left and then he walks he's like trying to follow and then krampus appears in front of him and drops the bell at his feet. So we're meant to understand same as Omi he is going to be left behind as a reminder. And then he disappears and we hear Omi's voice going I was left as a reminder

and it fades to black and we were like is that the end? Is it over? Is it fucking over? And then we come back and Max is like, oh, no. I've got a bone to pick with Mr. Krampus. And he runs after and finds him. Where they're having a big old party. They're having a crazy party.

I guess he just follows them. They're just loud. They're having a party. They're having a big old party. They're having a naughty elf. The nasty toys. Krampus. Here's where the reindeer are.

The only time you see the reindeer they're like partying it they're like fucking pumped that they had this like we killed all these people hell yeah merry christmas they're like they're like having a bonfire they're fucking thrilled i can't remember what max says but he's like i take back i take back my wish uh-huh uh i i take it back i just want to be with my family again. I want my family. Take me instead. Take me instead.

And you see Krampus, like, look for a moment, like that moment where you're like, oh, like this is the sacrifice that these movies, that movies need. We need this moment. And then Krampus just is like. Well, then. And then he picks up stevie who's still alive oh a gate has opened to hell yeah there's like where the where he dropped the volcano to hell has opened around their party and then they all start laughing and they're like we don't give a

shit about your sacrifice like pick up stevie throw stevie the hell. Drop her down to hell and laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh. And then he Max is like that. He picks up Max and he's holding him over the well or the hell. Well, hell gate. Hell gate. Hello. Well, and Max says, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

And Krampus has another moment of like looking him in the eyes and he's like i'm sorry i just wanted things to be how they used to be and it's sweet and then krampus gives no fucks and like throws him drops him to hell drops him straight down and loves it and we fade to black I think it's just like fading to white yeah and I had this moment same in air watching this movie and I went if he wakes up and this was all a fucking dream

and wakes up in his bed wakes up in his bed it's Christmas morning this all happened on Christmas Eve mind you so we're not going back in time it's Christmas morning everything seems normal normal on Christmas Eve, mind you, so we're not going back in time. It's Christmas morning. Everything seems normal. Normal, but too normal. You know, it has this

angelic glow. He comes downstairs for Christmas and this is, so everyone's like, oh, sleepyhead, you slept in too long. Welcome to Christmas. Everyone's getting along really well. And it was about an hour. I was like, ooh, they're all glowing. They have this light around them that is weird. But they're having a great time. Open your presents. all, like, glowing. Like, they, like, have this, like, light around them that is weird.

They're definitely. But they're having a great time. Open your presents. Oh, it's Christmas. Oh, I love you all. He's like, Mom, Dad, like, I love you both so much. So it's Max's turn to open a gift. They give it to him.

It's the bell. It's the Krampus bell. Krampus. And as he opens it, so he's opening his gift. They're all looking at him like, back's the gift. He opens it. He pulls out the bell and time. They all like, we start to hear like the sounds of everything that's happened in the film thus far.

And it's clearly happening in all their heads. And they're all like pause and like looking around like we can all hear this. They're all looking like they're remembering. Like the horrors that happened the night before. And's there everyone's alive everyone's there but they're like looking at each other like what we know that this happened right and then it pulls out pulls out pulls out further further further and we see that their house is inside a snow globe on Krampus' shelf. Krampus!

And there are hundreds of snow globes. A lot of snow globes. So they're trapped inside of Krampus' snow globe domain forever. But honestly, if you're all going to be fucking murdered and die and then you have to just

relive Christmas with each other, it's not a bad idea. It could be worse. But I guess understanding the horrors of what happened to you is pretty bad. Yeah. But that's the movie. So it's a fake out. It's a fake out of, did this really happen?

And then a fake out of, oh, just kidding then the fake out of like oh just kidding you're not okay Krampus got you oh and then we get to Christmas Christmas Krampus plays throughout the whole credits Christmas Krampus for like 10 minutes it's wild

okay so is the moral of this story I love this yeah to just always have a very generous spirit well here's what's crazy is I do feel like that kid Max was like a very good kid he believed in Christmas he wanted everything to be okay

and he only made that wish about like I fucking hate this because his bully cousins like read his like it doesn't feel like a fair punishment that he was then the reason why all of this happened like Krampus is punishing the cousins not really Matt but they all got fucking punished and it was because

Max threw his Santa letter away oh because also we forgot to mention when Krampus gives the bell to him it also includes like some torn shards of his Santa tosses those are like included so so and earlier max goes like to oh me like i think this was all my fault and like it is but that's fucked up but

do you think that there's like a good santa counterbalancing krampus yes regular santa regular santa regular santa why didn't regular santa come to the rescue regular santa has nothing on krampus are you fucking kidding me okay so here's that thing here we go why is no one making like an alien versus predator franchise oh my god please please please can we write it write it write it write it write it write it good Santa Krampus versus Santa my fucking god wow yes you know I feel like I feel like krampus would win but let me see it let me see that film that would be so fucking dope if krampus won in that movie it's the moral tension of our age yes wow wow wow listeners this is trademarked don't even think about

obviously we own it copyright henley december 19th 2019 los angeles california copyrighted henley i think you guys should watch more horror movies together i think this is a great retelling and i loved both of you telling it to me at the same time i loved it was a great i mean i fucking loved it emily i think you're brave now such an interesting journey we're all on a journey i think we've turned your brain but you can see in your eyes that you're not actually no no in your eyes you're like scared and here's the thing this movie was not scary not scary it didn't it didn't sound that scary it wasn't in the most like the under the van part was scary but i knew it would be over soon you know what I mean like

I think when we're talking about it's a PG 13 it's a PG 13 movie if we're talking about fucking hereditary paranormal activity conjuring like I'm I'm still nowhere near ready to do those but something like this I was like it was really fun

it feels like you've like advanced a level I think I have advanced a level there are many levels left but I feels like you've advanced a level. I think I have advanced a level. There are many levels left, but I do think I've advanced a level. And like I said, really got me in the Christmas spirit. Big time. I loved hearing about this movie. It's fun as hell.

It's very silly and very fun. And it got us in the Christmas spirit. It got us in the Christmas spirit. We drank apple cider. Watch it. Well, this comes out on Christmas Day, so watch it today watch it today or next year or next year you have a day or a year with your whole family and feel so close to them um and everybody please wish our dear henley a happy birthday oh my god happy birthday henley it's truly the most wonderful time of the year because this is when our dear Henley was born. Thank you guys so much.

Jesus who? I only care about Henley. I'm going to make that my voicemail message. Yes, please. People from work call me and they'll be like, what the fuck? What the fuck? Literally love you guys so much. Can't believe we've done 20 episodes.

No, this one's 19. Can't believe we've done 19 fucking episodes. It's really been... So this, I guess, because the next episode is the first of 2020, this is our last of 2019. Oh my god, true. Yes. This is our last 2019.

That's weird. That is a little weird. It's crazy. This is our last of 2019. And it has really been my highlight of 2019 wow thank you listeners for making this a really great year we love to do this so much and it is only to do it and it's so exciting that you guys like to listen yeah please leave us comments reviews even if they're trolley reviews i'm into it honestly

we love it so much. It makes us so every message, every comment we read, we really delight in it. We love to do this. It's our it's truly it's my favorite part of every week. It's been my favorite part of the year. If we could get some Russian trolls, that would be sick. I'd be into it. Russian?

Russians. If you're listening? Henley wants to hear from you. I mean, I'm just saying that there's like a lot of like troll farms happening. There's a lot happening. Yeah. Russia is hot right now politically. So if you have any thoughts for us, we would love to get in on that heat.

Please let us know. Well. Well. Not to get too political. Guys, let's cut it out Hey Merry Christmas Happy Hanukkah Happy Henley's birthday Happy end of 2019

We fucking did it We fucking love you Jenna will you join us for the goodbye What do you want me to do Just say goodbye with us Hold on I have so much to say real quick I'm not going to say it. Jenna has like 20 episodes worth of things to say. She's going to say them right now.

From all of us here at Too Scary To Watch, we love you. Happy 2019 and goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Hi, guys. Emily here. Thanks so much for listening to another episode of Too Scary, Didn't Watch. If you liked it, please subscribe, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts.

Follow us on social media at TSDW Podcast on Instagram and Twitter. And as we close out 2019, thank you all so much for listening. It means the world to us. And we can't wait to see you next year. Merry Christmas, happy holidays, happy birthday to our dear sweet Henley. And I hope Krampus doesn't get you. Goodbye.