Too Scary; Didn't Watch - PAN'S LABYRINTH with George Civeris and Sam Taggart

Episode Date: March 22, 2023

Fairies, fauns and fascists - we are recapping Guillermo del Toro's Pan's Labyrinth! This week we are joined by George Civeris and Sam Taggart of Straightiolab to discuss this film that it very much not for kids!! Straightiolab is a podcast from iHeartMedia and Will Ferrell’s Big Money Players Network with new episodes airing weekly on Tuesdays. TRAILER Recap begins @ 34:55  Follow the show: @TSDWpodcast on Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram. Check out our Patreon for bonus episodes and additional content! Rate Too Scary; Didn’t Watch 5 Stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Emily, Henley, and Sammy. Advertise on Too Scary; Didn't Watch via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is Emily, Henley, and Sammy, and you're listening to Too Scary, Didn't Watch. Hi everyone, welcome to Too Scary, Didn't Watch, the horror movie recap podcast for those too scared to watch for themselves. I'm Emily, and I am too scared to watch scary movies. I'm Sammy, and I love watching scary movies, and so I watch them so that you don't have to, but not this week. We're having a little... I'm starting to feel like a lie. I'm just an absolute liar. I know. I mean, we have made Progress with our Relationship with scary movies has evolved

Over three years of doing the podcast what can we say I am still more scared than you and I will say So I yeah I did watch the movie this week but it's also Like you know it's kind of not the Scariest one I could have watched So I kind of lucked out which I love Yeah And it's just just the two of us

This week well not you'll wait wait and see But of the of the three of us it's just the two of us this week. Well, not, you'll wait, wait and see. But of the, of the three of us, it's just the two of us. And, um, and Henny will be back. Don't worry. She's, she's sometimes in life. You got to just take care of some stuff and we all support that and she'll be back and we love her and just don't even worry about it. Just don't even worry about it.

Um, Sammy, how are you? How are we this week? Anything scary happened to you? Well, just a little update from last week. Yes, please. Those who didn't hear last week's episode, my two cats who are brothers who have had for seven years, all of a sudden have started viciously attacking each other out of nowhere. And it's been incredibly stressful. And so I did take the one that had been kind of the punching bag to the vet and they shaved his little neck and he looks so funny because they were trying to see where the cuts were in the wounds because he's injured

and he's doing fine. But when he came back from the vet, apparently this is something that happens that hadn't happened before. But then my other cat just straight up didn't recognize him. He must have smelled different or something. And he acted like I was bringing home. My brother doesn't have a bald patch, so it can't be. This is a different cat. Like I brought, he acted like I brought a stray cat in off the street and it got way worse. And he was just nonstop attacking him to the point where I had to supervise every waking moment for like 12 hours.

And I had to separate them in different rooms. And I put these little baby gates up so that they were on other sides of the gate just growling and hissing at each other. It was so stressful. It was incredibly stressful. But after about 12 hours, they kind of figured it out. growling and hissing at each other. It was so stressful. It's incredibly stressful. But after about 12 hours, they kind of figured it out. It's also just so dumb. Like why? They're so dumb. It's so stupid. You know him. Seems really strange to me. Yeah, they're stupid.

Anyways, it did eventually get better. And now they're back to being fine. And I want to say thank you to all the listeners who sent in suggestions. I did get that cat pheromone plug in that's supposed to calm them down. And they seem better. And I don't know how what percentage of it is from that pheromone thing, but I'm just trying everything. And it does seem to be improving. So I'm going to keep using that. But yeah, it's been a scary journey for sure. It's when your cats are being stressful, it's a real like, and I can't imagine it's worse with children, but all I have experienced with this cats and

if your cats are like, like have things going on, it's so stressful. It like it, it's like the most stress I've ever been, I think is when like Mabel was acting out and I couldn't figure it out. And like, it's a, it's a, it feels like hell. I put on cat like TV, you know, the like squirrel and bird videos to distract them. And it really worked, but they were sitting next to each other watching the video and mac would just slowly lean over and bite buck like as if if he did it in slow motion he could get away with it and it would be fine um which was pretty funny but also it stopped biting him he did stop he did stop he did stop and it's it seems to be better but i'll keep you guys posted. You know, keep it posted.

Journey end here. We're not sure. We're fingers crossed. But what about you, Emily? Anything scary happened to you this week? Well, I finished my quarter, so I'm relaxed for the first time in 10 weeks. Congratulations. I got better.

An update for the listeners. My eye is improving. I talked to another of our friends this week and she got herself like really stress sick and had eye infections in both eyes. And I'm like, we need to find a way to not let stress get to this level. Stress is crazy. Never in my life have I had such an obvious external reflecting my internal state. Just like a one to one.

Did I tell you about that time? I watched this documentary about how, how dangerous stress is. It's like stress. It's so bad for you. Like stress is the number one killer. And I was just like, Oh my God.

Oh my God. I can't be stressed. I can't be stressed. Yeah. It's not, it's, it's not good, but I,

so I'm, you know, I'm coming around the bend I'm feeling Feeling better Joel is out of town this weekend Which has not Happened since we've been living together that he's like Just gone and I'm in town

So I've had the place all to myself And on the one Hand having Four cats and a partner Feels very different than having four cats and being home alone. Like I all of a sudden I'm like, Oh my god, oh my god, they're everywhere. It's too much. So that's been a little bit scary. But really, I've just had too many plans. You know, I was really looking forward to a solo weekend in my home to do just absolutely nothing. And mind

you, it's been fun we've had fun plans spoiler alert my plans have you've been in on all my plans so I've seen you a lot which is always a treat you know that but I just like I'm like I've been like Joel's gonna be back mid-recording and I'm like did he even leave yeah and I'm so happy he'll be back home. But like, I, you know, I was really, I had these grand ideas of my solo time. She came and went in a flash. Time to relax really does just, it's, you think you're going to have time to relax and you never do. Again, it's stress. It's for me, I'm filling every moment with plans and things.

You can't even enjoy the enjoyment. Yeah. It's just Do you have a couple weeks off now Before your next quarter I do So hopefully schedule some good relaxing time in there Yeah I'll schedule

I will schedule in some relaxing time I sometimes have to do that Because I will genuinely Never relax if I don't Relaxation needs to be an intentional choice I think So I'll try You know what I'll succeed

I'm going to put it out there right now I'll be able to succeed at it And now I've made it something I have to achieve And that you know Puts a level of stress on it But another thing I did This week A kind of scary thing is I watched the movie.

Full disclosure, I had seen it before. And also, it's like not the scariest, but it is scary. It also is so good. I'm very excited that we are talking about it this week. It is Pan's Labyrinth or, you know, it's a Spanish language film. So El Laberinto del Fano. or, you know, it's a Spanish language film. So El Laberinto del Fano.

It was released in 2006, directed and written by Guillermo del Toro, starring Sergi Lopez, Maribel Verdu, Ivana Baquero, Doug Jones, Ariadna Gill and Alex Angelo. And it is available to rent for $3.99. Oh, I can't wait to hear about it. And we are joined by two guests today to talk about this film. They are the hosts of Stradio Lab, which is a podcast from iHeartMedia and Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network.

Sam and George, thank you for joining us. Welcome. Wow, thank you so much for having us. What a business forward introduction oh yeah and i celebrate it we could learn a thing or two from that i mean truly how are you guys we're great we both love this movie i gotta say yeah like off the bat yeah and i think both of us had sort of like always wanted to watch it and never pulled the trigger to it was the first time never pulled the trigger yeah first time like it's like i remember since it came out like everyone's saying

how good it is and i like yarmulke toro like i've seen his other but i just for some reason it's not the thing that i would like a fairy tale for adults type thing is not the kind of thing i would normally press play on yeah you like need a reason yeah i think sam for you maybe it, for you, maybe it's more because Sam, like you, Sam loves like Lord of the Rings and things like, I feel like for you, maybe it would be more likely that you would press play on something like this. Yeah, I think it's pretty likely. It seemed pretty up my alley when I was watching it. But I have this thing where if anything, it's really hard for me to watch a movie that is

like, it either has to be like really old or like really current like when someone's like oh yeah it's like 15 years old it's like okay like okay so i totally know what you mean there's something about like the early 2000s where i'm like why why would anybody did anything good happen then and like the answer is it did but it feels like a weird Thing to go I was remembering So we'll get into it But when I was looking at this movie I was like oh this was a massive movie

Like this movie was Huge and important And it weirdly It feels like it shouldn't have been 15 Oh my god almost 20 years ago now 2006 this is It's about It's right in between 15 and 20

But it's a long time ago And that feels crazy to me It feels like it shouldn't have been that long ago But okay wait before we get into that movie Because we're going to have to dig in Did anything scary happen to either of you this week? Anything you need to get off your chests? George you go first

I can Well something This is not going to make me seem I'm not going to come across well in this story, but something just, something just happened to me that truly felt, I don't even want to say creepy because it was my fault, but content you can imagine. It's like it's made, it's almost like it's made by someone to like scare you about the capability of humans to be like sort of weird. I don't know how else to describe it, but I was like, and my, it's always based on like identity markers. So like I, I follow a lot of my family, you know, lives in Greece. So I follow a lot of like Greek content. Then I follow a lot of my family, you know, lives in Greece. So I follow a lot of like Greek content.

Then I follow a lot of like gay content. And then I follow a lot of like comedy content. So the Instagram, it's always literally like, okay, you like comedy. Here's a clip of Jerry Seinfeld. Yeah. Like, do you like your Greek? Here are like literally 15 different people doing impressions of their Greek mothers. And it's like all, all, all people like doing like a Greek uh, doing an impression of their Greek mother. And there was like 15 of

them in a row. Like you are gay. Here's Antony. And so I was sort of like, this is, I mean, it's just like funny on a sort of meta level. So I did this thing where I was like, I just went on my suggested reels and I was like, okay, everyone, here's a selection of my current suggested reels. And I just like shared like 20 of them in a row. And I was like, ha ha ha. Funny. People were applying. Everyone was like, la la la.

And then suddenly, obviously because these people are all like creators who check their shares, all of them started responding to me and being like, thanks for sharing. Thanks for sharing. Thanks for sharing. Oh my God. I just felt, you know, when you like suddenly realize oh no i'm the asshole like i'm literally like making fun of these poor people who are just doing like they're just because i and i didn't even say anything mean but you know obviously the tone was not very nice yeah you

knew it was not nice and i wasn't making fun of them i was making fun of like the algorithm or in my mind so i thought but then suddenly i just i truly it took 25 minutes and i checked my dms and it was all these people being like thanks for for sharing. And then a couple of them later on realizing what was happening and being like, wait, did you not like it? And so I just like, and I just, I deleted all of it. Of course, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but this happened in the span of truly 25 minutes. And when I say seven of them. A real rollercoaster. Yeah. And it really just felt like You just like forget How everything is public

Obviously Like obviously I'm sharing something on Instagram It's public But then it feels like Suddenly all these people Are like knocking at your door And they're like

Why did you do that? So I don't know It felt a little sort of like You know Little Little people appearing Out of my computer Being mad at me

Yeah it's really It is a weird thing. It's like, duh, of course there are people attached, but like the way that we're disembarked with images and voice, it's even like doing a podcast. It's like, we're just too, we're just people. And I feel like sometimes like we, I like can't read comments and I can't read reviews because it's like, but I get it. I like look at an interview and be like, who's this person? What are know. Because it's like. Absolutely. But I get it. I like look at an interview and be like, who is this person?

What are we? And it's like, that's just a person. We are like, our brains aren't meant to process seeing people not in real life and like having any sort of relationship to them. Totally. And when you take everything out of context, I was like, okay, think of like, what if someone were to hear me talking about something out of context? Of course they would think it's as stupid as the things that I think I'm, that I'm getting

served. If someone who didn't listen to our podcast heard a clip of it, they'd be like, they need to be institutionalized. A hundred percent. Well, and I also think with the internet, it's really tough because I do believe one, everyone wants to shit talk all the time and that's okay i think people should be able to shit talk i just think i shouldn't be able to see it and it's like yes correct how do we do this how can we have both yeah every and it's like yeah to the you put things on the internet people are gonna have thoughts you say things in the pockets people are gonna have thoughts like of course of course but yeah it should be we should all it should all be into the void like it should just like go it should disappear forever yeah that would be really nice instagrams that you with like fake people looking at it but really it's just you on your own phone like like a little an app that's like this is social media

yeah totally but it's like 100 not that's what we all need. Like cat TV is what you're describing. We all need cat TV on Instagram. Yeah. You know, those are real birds. You're having a fun time. Like, go get them. You're in nature. You're in nature. It's great. That is so funny. Scary place.

Scary. And I'm trying to think what I had a scary moment. George and I did a show and got dinner On Friday night and then I was like going To meet up with my boyfriend afterwards And my phone was at 10% And I like truly since like before The pandemic I don't think I've been out With like a nearly dying phone

And I forgot about the intense feeling That that gives you and I was like Okay well I'll take the subway and I was like Okay well like the subways are all messed up because it's a Friday night. And I was like, well, I'll take an Uber. And I was like, what if my phone dies while I'm waiting for the subway and I can't take the Uber. And the station was like two, like it was one of those stations where like the, the R and the N are like all the way down the hall from the five and the four. And I was like, okay, I have to choose the five or the four or the end and i was like oh no i only get one shot at this and it was like and i was really just like i'll be there at some point like just go to the bar

and i'll be there at some point i love you i will see you when i can the fact that we haven't figured out Charging Like it's just like Wait we're sending people to space And we still have to charge our phones In the wall It's insane

Yeah Your phone should charge When you're in the train It should just charge Every time it's not being used It should like self It should be like Solar powered or something

Yeah Like how do we not have On your phone Wow Okay if anybody steals that Give us money like solar powered or something. Yeah. How do we not have on your phone? Wow. Okay. If anybody steals that, give, give us money.

Cause we just, we just sold it. That was so easy. But yeah, I mean the best we've come up with is like a portable charger, but that also needs to be sharp. I did that thing that I was like running errands. My phone was alone.

I was like, I'll bring my portable charger. I plugged in. I was like, well, this isn't charged. This is nothing. And I was like,

well, it's just an additional thing you have to charge. It's another big heavy thing. The portable charger is truly like, okay, it's the 90s and you have a Walkman. Like, it's taking a step back. Yeah. The fantasy of the portable charger is just that. It is a fantasy.

It is not real. We don't have it yet. You can't count on it. Yeah. Tough. And also just doing two things in one night is always a mistake. You always think you can pull it off And it's just like

You can't You're gonna lose You're gonna lose big time Yeah Because you're gonna have to get on a different mood It's impossible I did two things in one weekend And I was like

Well this is horrible What was I thinking? One thing per weekend That's gotta be the rule I need to rest I need to force myself to rest No it's true Two outfits Two like Wait what? That's got to be the rule. I need to rest. I need to force myself to rest. No, it's true. You're completely right.

Two outfits, two like, wait, what? It's just tough. It's too much. Well, we all made it through. Big weeks, big weeks all around. We talked a little bit. We'll talk more about this movie. But in general, how do you both feel about scary movies?

Are you fans? Are you too scared? Where do you land? Are you fans? Are you too scared? Where do you land? Um, I think I have grown to appreciate scary movies as an adult. Um, I saw the ring when it came out and it literally ruined my life. Oh yeah. That's a tough one. Like it's well, two things are in my life. First of all the six Cents I saw on a plane and That really Like when he's like walking in the

Building and there are like people hanging from The ceiling or whatever I remember that part like scarred Me as well that's the like thing that jumps To mind yeah it's like That scene then Misha Barton pulling His leg from under the bed and then also The mother that's cooking that's Dead who has

like sort of blood on her arm i that truly like i mean watching something on a plane you would think you're surrounded by people your like parents are there it'll be fine but i i might as well have been like in a dark room by myself i was like get me out of this plane. And so there was that. And then The Ring, I remember I was at a party and the people that were too scared were watching center stage. And I was like, well, I'm not going to watch center stage. Like, I'm not gay. Well, I'm definitely not gay. So two separate movies at the same party is funny. It was just so embarrassing because The ring was obviously the main event.

But then it's like, if you're overly sensitive, you can go to like the little TV the family had in the kitchen. Losers go watch Center Stage. Yeah. We have a safe space for you. Yeah. If anyone here is sensitive, we are screening Center Stage. And the ring really got me I was like, she is

Samara is going to come out of every room Every corner I remember I was like too old To even consider sort of like Sleeping in my parents bed I was probably like 12 And I legitimately was like I need to sleep in my parents bed

And I think the turning point for me was when the sort of like elevated horror trend started. I remember I saw It Follows in theaters and I loved it. And I was like, okay, like I can get back into horror movies, like through this sort of like, if I pretend they're like cool indies that are like A24. That was like my way back in. And then since then I've like watched a few older ones that i like and then i also during the pandemic became a huge scream fan i'm like obsessed with the scream franchise which i had never watched before the pandemic perfect and so i think that would be yeah that i think those are my my ways in but it's very recent like i'm

very uneducated about like the horror classics. Yeah. And I'd say I, I generally liked them always. Like, like I never went, like, I don't know, like the, the old,

the classics I would say. Um, but like in like the two thousands, I would like, like watch them in high school and like, they did not need to be like bad or good. They did not need to be good at all. Like any,

like those be like, I remember one movie called like cry wolf. That was like like there's a guy using aol instant messenger to like kill people or something and i was like this movie rules and like like i saw like final destination and i was like like whoa like that was really smart what if death were after you holy shit like that's a pretty cool idea really um so i was pretty all in and also like funnest nation when i saw it like maybe like eighth grade or something i was really like it like leaving like i watched it at home but i was like looking around i was like no you're right anything could kill me and it just like changed everything it's early for that realization it was like really kind of spicy

like i was kind of like okay being alive is kind of dangerous yeah it changed me i was just thinking of final destination yesterday because i was at the steam room at the gym and i was the only one in it and i was like well i'm gonna die like someone will lock the door the door is gonna get locked I'm gonna just Turn up that heat yeah That would be such a bad time That would be So yeah I always kind of

The new era the 824 prestige Stuff I also like I like it all Good bad who cares Love it Yeah it's um I am In the camp of like I'm'm, I'm gaining appreciation. I've, I've a lot of appreciation for it and a,

and a limited but growing ability to actually experience it. Um, but yeah, I mean, there's so many, so good ones. And like, yeah,

scream is so fun. Like those fun horror movies. Um, I wouldn't call this movie fun, but it is great. Yeah. yeah um and i'm so interested it was your first time seeing and did you just you picked it just because you thought well it's about time it's about time we check this one out george picked it george what's why did you pick this one i don't know i wanted like i wanted something that was like a fantasy land sort of to get in touch with

my inner child. And I also, you know, I, I did think that this is one Sam will like, like, I think I feel like it is Sam's vibe and I was right. And you're a hundred percent right.

I mean, it's yeah. If we're good, I don't know if it's jumping the gun already, but as soon as there was that like intro monologue about like in the time of the dark world there was the birth of the blah blah blah like in the sun and the moon and the rivers of blood or whatever i was like yeah this is pretty much it i love those types of monologues specifically because i'm always like it's a trope everyone does it like in a fantasy world but it's

always like okay but what specifics are you using like it's almost like a roast chicken where it's like everyone does it but like there's a little twist are you using time do you use like lemon what's going on here yeah that's a very it's true fantasy fantasy is a roast chicken and it's just about what spices you're gonna put on it um so you've got your like you know star wars thing your lord of the rings yeah is this a long long time ago or is this really far in the future is this a parallel universe what's going on here yeah it's all the same tools in the past few years i have hit a point where I only want to be wearing clothes that are comfortable. It happened. It happened to me. But you know what? I still also want to look cute.

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That's hellobello.com slash too scary to start bundling with 30% off your first order. Don't forget, that's HelloBello.com slash TooScary. Yep, yep, we're starting with a roast bird. I have a little bit of trivia about this movie. The budget was $19 million. Box office, $ 83.9 million so yeah did pretty well so congrats to the whole team congrats to the team um yeah absolutely congrats um uh and some okay so guillermo del toro was this like the first film of his that was massive In the United States

I feel like that's a stupid question But I feel like I was thinking this too I think it might have been Like there was some There was this was a breakthrough I think for him but Now I'm sort of like I'm looking now It is IMDb it was certainly the

First I ever remember Hearing of him oh my god you know what here he directed hellboy oh my god yes thank you if we had not boy was two years earlier but that's sort of like said that our listeners would have been so mad like like recently we were doing an episode we were talking about dave batista and we're like what man he's like where'd he come and we had so many people being like he was a Enormously famous wrestler He's a huge He's like in movies now

I just kind of like him Anyway we often omit huge Chunks of information but Hellboy yes of course But I mean but this is I think for this being a fully Spanish Film Right I think that's what it was he was sort of a director for Hire Because he also did Blade 2

But I feel like If I were to guess I don't think those were like Passion projects of his I think it was like This would be his first like vehicle Yeah Like written directed all yes and so Yeah one of the trivias is that he Um

He refused a lot of offers from Hollywood producers Even though they like offered him more money If he would make the movie in English And he said no He was like this is a Spanish language film I don't want to compromise on the story So yeah I think he did sort of go all in

To make this movie happen And apparently he gave up his entire salary Including back end points In order to make this film happen Which is is like, that doesn't make any sense. Like everything he did for free. Did he make zero dollars? I don't understand that at all. I feel like the director's guild might be mad at him for that.

Yeah, it feels like it's actually we shouldn't be doing. Hmm. But, you know, it's on the IMDb trivia and I won't be looking into it. The user submitted IMDb trivia. We try to take that as fact. No questions asked. I take back my congrats to the whole team. I guess congrats to everybody except Guillermo.

Yeah. Apologies. Guillermo, pretty stupid. Yeah. Apologies to Guillermo. Yeah. You should have made money. Yeah.

Should have made money for your work. Should have made money for your work So he is Famous for compiling books Full of notes and drawings about his ideas Before turning them into films Which is essential to his process And apparently he left Years worth of notes for this film

In the back of a cab But the cab driver found them Tracked him down And returned them to him And so that he was able to make the movie What if the cab driver just made the movie himself Made the movie Just like wow here we go baby this is it

My big break Oh my god I'm gonna make zero dollars Off this movie If only the cab driver That Lana Del Rey left her laptop in would sort of step up and do the same. Yeah, this is a call to that cab driver.

Do you know? It can't be done. Is this a known thing? I didn't know it. Oh, you know what? It wasn't a cab. She has left her laptop in two different cars that have gotten burgled and allegedly those two laptops had like full albums in them. Oh, man man lana back it up

back it up it's really easy get an external hard drive fool me once i mean come on yeah that should not be happening twice it's a good you never should leave your laptop in your car no that's like a thing also like i don't know i'm a little bit like it's a convenient excuse. Oh yeah I had a whole album. I was all ready to go. That's really smart actually. I wish I could release it but I just can't. I'm gonna have to start over. It's gonna take

a lot more time. It's gonna take me more time and that sucks because I was working hard. I wasn't wasting any time. Pretty convenient. Pretty convenient Lana I guess we'll have to see After the first week of this film's release Movie theaters in Mexico

Had to place signs on posters Warning about the movie's graphic violence Because so many people brought small children to see it I did think about that Yeah it's violent When the first kill happened And he truly like started stabbing Someone in the face repeatedly

I was like I don't like this Yeah this ain't for kids This is not for kids But to be fair why did they think it was for kids Because there's a kid in it It looks like When you look at the poster for it It looks like a fairy tale

Yeah Sort of princess bride situation Yeah you know It looks like a, when you look at the poster for it, it looks like a fairy tale. Yeah. I don't know. Sort of princess bride situation. Yeah. Yeah. You know, there's a universe where this is a, this could have worked for children, but it's, it's not this universe and it's not this movie.

Yeah. It was rated R. Yeah. For, I think, graphic violence. Probably. Check the ratings, guys. Check the ratings guys Check the ratings Um

Doug Jones And the rest of my trivia Is basically Doug Jones trivia We love Doug Jones He's great Um And he had to I had wondered this

So He was the only American On set The only one who didn't Speak Spanish And Guillermo del Toro Was the only bilingual Person on set

So You know It was shot in Spain Everyone is Is Spanish And um Yeah So Dougo was the only bilingual person on set. So, you know, it was shot in Spain. Everyone is Spanish. And yeah, so Doug Jones was the only American. And so he had to memorize not only his own lines in Spanish, a language that he does not speak, but Ophelia, the character that he's opposite,

her lines so that he knew when to speak his next line. And the thing that he had to wear on his head for the fawn was so bad at like it blocked so much sound that he often couldn't hear like anything going on around him um but eventually they did have they hired a a theatrical spanish actor to do the voice for the final film so it's not his voice but he did still have to he still did speak the lines in spanish which i was wondering as i watched this like how that would have been happening because he's obviously doing the acting but did he play both the fawn and the guy with the pale man he did he did he did we love doug jones man he's he's so great

the fish guy in shape of water too right they must I feel like they collaborate a lot what a talent yeah yeah what talent he is yeah he's he's done was he mama no that's Javier Botet no that's Javier Botet who also works with Guillermo a lot um anyway do you think him and the guy who play um gollum have beef do you think they're always up for the same roles like this fucking guy again they play i feel like they each have their own creature niche you know it's like not that they couldn't each do i think doug jones would be a great gollum but this is your different interpretation i'm sure he read for it I'm sure he read for it Oh god imagine that callback room

Oh man I'm so annoyed Doug Jones is sort of like subtle He's almost doing like subtle There's something more British I don't even know if he I guess he's not British he's American I guess he's American and Andy Serkis is British Okay great So it's actually the opposite of okay well then's American. So never mind. And Andy Serkis is British. Okay, great.

So it's actually the opposite of... Okay, well, then I take it... But I feel like Andy Serkis is really going forward and doing... He is being cartoonish. Whereas I think Doug Jones has a lot of restraint, even when he's playing these characters in this movie. It's not over the top. He knows that they're inherently scary.

So he is sort of like doing just enough to bring that to life yeah i feel like doug jones sort of lets the body do the acting like his characters are very like it i mean and again i i love andy circus no hate on andy circus but he's like really letting his movement be it's almost like dance like i feel like the way that doug jones is creatures um the way that doug jones is creatures i just said remember how we said moments of the podcast taken out of context could make you seem so stupid um it took doug jones five hours to get into the pale man costume um and once he was in it He had to look out the nose holes To see where he was going

Ooh that Costume is Really gross And for the fawn His fawn horns weighed 10 pounds and they were so heavy That they had to be applied last Can you imagine walking around with 10 pounds on the top of your head

I hope he got some Massages And chiropractic adjustments During Truly He probably has that Built in To his life

Regular Chiropractic I would hope so You have to hope I mean his body Is his tool Cause also He's like a

I feel like he's like A tall skinny guy And so also You know being that top heavy Would really It's not like he's got A real thick neck You know Yeah right Not like a tall skinny guy And so also you know being that top heavy Would really It's not like he's got a real thick neck Not like a Dave Bautista so to speak He could probably handle 10 pounds on the top

Neck like that A neck like that He could hold up anything Just keep throwing it on Let's see what we can do That is all the trivia I have There was quite a bit of trivia on imdb again this is a a massive film um was nominated for academy awards and and all

of that um but i couldn't i simply couldn't write it all down i thought one of the things that was sort of interesting that i saw was that so obviously the Spanish title is Like the Fonz Labyrinth essentially And they translated into Pan's Labyrinth and then Guillermo del Toro was like Just to be clear he's not Pan Like he's not the Greek god Pan So then you're like how did you Let it be translated like that

Like so it's literally not Pan It's not and it's not It's just a faun It's just a faun yeah he's He has his own world he's not And it It's not It's just a fun Yeah that is interesting It's just a fun Yeah he's He has his own world He has

He's not Right You know Yeah that is interesting I did read that That Guillermo del Toro Did all the subtitling For the movie himself

Because he did not trust Okay Having anybody else do But I guess not the title Fair enough Should we just get into it sure let's do it i'll give a teensy little nugget of um the cultural backdrop uh because i do feel that that is important um i am so so so so far from an expert I did definitely know this at one point in my life embarrassingly I have a bachelor's degree in Spanish and I have lost almost all of it but

briefly this movie takes place just after the Spanish Civil War and so the Spanish Civil War was in the late 30s and it was basically pretty standard for the Europe at the time, fascists versus socialists. And the fascists won. And so this is after that war where the fascists are in control. General Franco, who is in control of Spain until 1975. And so the war has been won, but there are still like rebel factions who are, you know, anti-fascist. And so that is the is the landscape that this takes place in, which I just feel like is scary, scary landscape. Very scary. Very, very, very bad people.

It's also like it's like in the towards the end of World War Two. So it's like, you know, the Franco regime is aligned with the Nazis, but the allies are gaining power. And so it's like the last breath of that sort of. Although, I mean, if you say Franco was in power until 75, I actually did not know. OK, it lasted in Spain. But like in this micro period, it's sort of like there is a sliver of hope and sure enough like the allies would win the war a year later but it but but i think spain held on baby yeah yeah spain had a had a fascist dictator until 1975 which really is crazy it's like that's so

long like global landscape of like okay great yeah we. Yeah. We will. World War II. And then I was like, no, no, no, we're still gonna, we're gonna keep that going here. I had no idea. I mean, I'm like, I was like, Oh, Europe was all pretty much on the same page except for Germany. You know what I mean? Not so. Not so. Not so. Again, I am like horrified that I don't remember More information about it

But I don't So That's What I've got So that's just a little Little nugget of like Where we're at

In Spain When this movie Takes place Would you like to Sam I feel like You should lead us Into this like Storytelling

In a world How we begin So we open on scenes of the underworld palace uh you know description of the the moon and the sun and the rocks and a long long time ago and there was a princess um who dreamed of being in the real world. And eventually she died and we see her rotted corpse in the underworld. And, but her father, the king knew that one day her soul would be reborn somewhere in some dimension in some time period. And he will be waiting and he will find her and bring her back or something along

those lines and then cut to war-torn spain should i jump in for war-torn spain yeah please okay so cut to war-torn spain um ophelia is what age would you say nine Nine. We're terrible at this. I believe that says it says that she's 10 in the trivia I looked at. Ten year old girl. Her father, who was a tailor who made the looks that that these fascist generals war has died. these fascist generals war has died and her mother has agreed to marry and is pregnant with the child of this evil fascist general who like is bloodthirsty, loves killing people even when they have not done anything wrong. So they are in the process of moving to live with him so that her mother can bear his child. She wants him, She wants her to call him father. She refuses. Ophelia just like does not trust him from the beginning.

We get there. There is also like a sort of Downton Abbey community of various servants and doctors and other people who do various things around the house. are in fact secretly helping the rebels um one of whom is the brother of the nurse named mercedes who is becomes a sort of aunt or mother figure to ophelia ophelia really got on board with mercedes really quickly yeah which i mean yeah the reveal that mercedes was actually helping the rebels. It took a while to get there because I didn't at first I wasn't sure about it. Yeah. So we like we come to the house and it's very clear that like it's in the country. And I think that the the El Capitan is what he's I think is only description or name in the movie.

He I think they've all just like moved there because there are rebels in the woods. And so they've like moved from the city to this countryside. And so I think everybody who like works in that home for them are locals. And so I think that, yeah, there's like, I think generally more of an association with the rebels than with these fascists. But of course, you know, they're the ones they're the ones in charge. And yeah, a little like we get some character descriptions of Ophelia that she like she loves fairy tales her mom's like you're too old to still be reading fairy tales is 10 too old but that seems wrong to me I don't well I mean they've

been through a lot so maybe she just wants her to grow up she's sort of like grow up mama like you've got to grow up yeah and she tells her like I want you to call a capitan I want you to call him a padre and she's like it's just a word call a copy. Then I want you to call him a Padre. And she's like, it's just a word. It doesn't matter. And I feel like, honestly,

I mean, I know that she's only 10, but I mean like Ophelia fucking like get on board. Like you need to understand the stakes of this. Like you're being unreasonable. I was going to team mom on this one. I was like, just say father,

like understand the stakes here, but she, you know, she doesn't. Um, and she does, she keeps seeing this, um,

flying, honestly, nasty bug that she thinks is a fairy. mistakes here but she you know she doesn't um and she does she keeps seeing this um flying honestly nasty bug that she thinks is a fairy and she like follows it she keeps seeing it on the drive and she sees it again when they arrive to the captain's house and like it flies into the woods she follows it where there is this like old decaying stone labyrinth we learn and that's where yeah mercedes comes and finds her and is like this is you know just these are old rocks they've been here for a long time it's a labyrinth like don't go in because you might get lost but um ophelia is immediately very curious about it and also really believes that this again big nasty bug is a fairy and um it looks kind of like

that's like the one little mantis right like a like a It's really nasty because of like the Sounds it makes It's also like really large It's really large and it's like Like that's the sound it makes when it flies around you know Very like clicky I don't love that but When she instantly assumed it was a fairy

I was like is this like a translation Issue like I was like what girl would think like this bug is a fairy yeah but um i also was like okay sometimes they like when they're just like let's just cut to this is a fairy yeah it's crazy that she was right it's like we're like no it's not sweetie and then the bug just turned into a fairy i was like is this your first time in the woods that's a bug That's a bug it's gross Keep away But yes when they get into the captain's house The captain is immediately like he makes Carmen Carmen's the mother he makes her like sit in a wheelchair

He's like don't exert yourself Is like very controlling over what she can do And he has the doctor In the trailer it says she needs uninterrupted rest And I was like that's what I need That's what I need I would love a fascist captain just forcing you to rest She's living a dream life

Oh lucky duck So yeah he sends the doctor To come take a look at her And he like kind of puts her on bed rest A bit and he tells The captain That he's like this is she shouldn't have traveled this far This late in her pregnancy And he's like a this is she shouldn't have traveled this far this late in her pregnancy.

And he's like, a son needs to be born where his father is. And the doctor we see after he leaves Carmen's room, we see him have a little moment with Mercedes where he they sort of like, you know, furtively are having a little conversation. He gives her some medicine So we that's when we learn that like They're both working with the rebels in Secret and she's she Tells the doctor like he he Some you know presumably a rebel

Soldier was needs to be looked at His leg needs to be looked at the doctor's Like well here's some antibiotics like you Know we'll do what we can I guess So now we know where they The doctor's like, well, here's some antibiotics. Like, you know, we'll do what we can, I guess. So now we know where they stand. And that first night, this is where we get that terrible, terrible kill.

We see the captain gets called outside by his soldiers because they caught two men in the woods who they believe to be rebels. Right. Yeah. Yeah. And then the men were like, no, we were just hunting rabbits. And then he kills them regardless. And then they find rabbits in their like backpack that they had with them. Yeah.

And they killed like he. Oh, it's a father and son. Yeah. And the captain like pulls out a bottle from somewhere and just beats the son to death over the head over and over and over. And yeah, like stabs him with it. It's so brutal. The way his face like crumpled inward was really like specific and like upsetting. Jarring.

Like it was very upsetting in a way where I was like Wow Like I've never thought of like Guillermo del Toro as like a A gore guy Right And I was like

This is fucking nasty Like this is like Saw movie vibes or something Yeah it's It's nasty Um And so yeah That's we're getting a

Pretty quick idea of like Okay this is just how fucking awful this guy is. Like he won't just kill people who kill them like that. And also he didn't need to. He like they immediately find the rabbits and they're like, oh, well, all right. Oh, well, I guess they were just regular guys. I don't fucking care. I liked when they found the rabbits and he was like, you know, like search these men better before you come and find me.

And that was kind of like, oh, because he's like saying know like search these men better before you come and find me and that was kind of like oh because he's like saying like i'm a psychopath like you don't want me to kill them you better search them better because i'm going to kill them yeah like you wasted my time i didn't want to take it time out of my night to fucking beat a man's face in but you call me it's what i have to do yikes yeah so pretty upsetting off the bat is that the same and so then that's the night that the the bug flies into her room she's sleeping with her mother and the bug flies in and is like and she's like are you a fairy and then the bugs like and she shows the picture of the fairy in her book and then the bug like warps itself to then look like the fairy. And it's like, ooh, okay. The girl's not crazy.

And then the fairy calls her into the labyrinth, I guess. Which, I always thought a labyrinth was like a maze. It is. I'm a little confused as to, this was like Pan's well. We need like, yeah. There was a bit of a Chekhov to this was like pans well. We need like. Yeah. There was a bit of a Chekhov's Labyrinth situation happening where like the Labyrinth was introduced and then there was never even a scene where someone like got lost in the Labyrinth, which you would expect is like the bare minimum if you're going to introduce a Labyrinth.

Yeah. Yeah. I think if it's in the title of the movie, I'm expecting the Labyrinth to be kind of heavily. It's mentioned many title of the movie. I'm expecting the labyrinth to be kind of heavily mentioned. Yeah. And also like the fact that, so the labyrinth that is clearly sinister looking and obviously built by someone exists and all of them who live there are like,

Oh yeah, that's just rocks. Don't go in there. You might get lost. And it's like, it's a well, it's one hole. It's a big well with like a wall around it.

Yeah. But whatever. We're going to call it a labyrinth. So she goes to the lair and meets the faun. So the faun is this sort of like, well, faun-like figure. Well, the faun. There's no way around it. Who looks like Pan, but is not Pan.

Not Pan. It's not Pan. Yeah. He's basically like, congratulations, you're a princess. And I have three challenges for you this week on RuPaul's Drag Race. And they are as follows. And the first one is you have to go feed the big frog three stones. And then he's going to go into his stomach and find a key

And so then she does that I did think The way the frog barfed up Of its innards was sort of Disgusting it was absolutely disgusting But I was like ooh I've never seen anything like this Like there was something where I'm like how imaginative How big a frog are we talking

Oh the frog is Like I would say like The size of a love seat. Okay. Yeah. Or maybe a big armchair. A big armchair. One big armchair. A big armchair.

Yeah. But basically it just like the frog just like sneezes and its entire body other than its skin goes out of it. Yeah. And then it like deflates. And the body like deflates yeah I kind of love that I was like hmm Genius and Nakia's just right there on the surface

Too she's like oh I'll take it perfect Okay done easy Next but that night There's like a dinner a fancy Dinner the captain's hosting And so her mother gives her this new Beautiful dress to wear This is really exciting because it just made me so sad to wear to this dinner.

And so she is wearing that dress when she goes in to fucking get this toad. Of course, the dress gets completely destroyed. She gets covered in mud and like toad in the sides. Once again, I would like To blame her for that specifically I do think she could have changed Absolutely she could have changed It's crazy Her mom makes a big to do about this dress

And her beautiful new shoes and they're immediately Covered in mud And nasty But I think While that's happening while she's like going to Find the toad and do her little toad Task The captain and his

Soldiers discover they see like smoke A smoke plume in the distance In the woods so they go into the woods To try to get the rebels like oh my god It's them they get there But the rebels have hidden But they find their camp and Among their things they find the

Medicine they find this little vial of antibiotics Um So we know that whoever needed those Didn't get them um because he takes those And captain keeps them With him um Yeah Um and we also

Find out somewhere around this time the captain Has decided that All of the rations for the whole Town will be kept in his House he has like a storage room for them And he's only giving one ration card Per family because he's like I don't want anybody to have Extra they can give to the rebels

They all have to come here to get it's why you need to like See everybody's face Um and he Asks Mercedes she's kind of like that all have to come here to get it's why you need to like see everybody's face um and he asks mercedes she's kind of like that housekeeper catch-all like head of household and he asks her he asked her for the key to the storage room and he says this is the only key and she says yes and she's like okay i'm gonna keep it with me and so he has the key to the storage room where like yeah medicine tobacco food everything Is kept

In the meantime the mom is getting Sicker yeah her pregnancy is Not good Like very violently so like bleeding Constantly like very bad yeah the Next day she um She this is a creepy Moment I feel like checks her but so the book that

That the fawn gave her is blank and it like Fill the pages like fill as she opens The book with like the new very um Tom Riddle's diary style you know like here's here's the message I'm giving you um and so she opens the book and says what what's what do I do next and the book just like fills with blood and then she hears her mom's yelling for her in the other room and she opens the door and her mom is just bleeding it's really freaky um so she you know the mom survives but is clearly not doing well and we see the doctor talking to the captain and the captain tells the doctor if you can only save one save my son like don't save her i i don't little uh house of the dragon asked anybody watch watch that Yeah exactly Yeah and so then Ophelia

Kind of like falls off her tasks At this point and is like She's distracted Last time she opened the book a bunch of blood came out And then her mom you know collapsed So she's not eager to open that book again Yeah If it was 2023 she would maybe take a mental health

Leave from university But unfortunately that's not an option In war-torn Spain In war-torn Spain she must keep on Yeah So then she has her big fuck-up The big fuck-up We have to talk about it

She flops completely This is another time where I'm like Look again I get that you're 10 But the rules couldn't have been clear So I know Just like literally Don't eat the food

Don't eat the food So yeah That night The faun Comes to her again And I will say quickly He does She

He's like You haven't been Doing your tasks And she's like Well my mom is Dying And he goes Okay fine

Put this little Mandrake root Again Sorry Harry Potter Anybody Put it It looks like a big Ginger Raw ginger Put this little mandrake root Again sorry Harry Potter or anybody Um It looks like a big ginger

Raw ginger But shaped like a baby And he's like put it in a bowl of milk Under her bed and it will help The mandrake is like a root that wishes it was a Human but it so it'll help The human whatever so she's like okay great And she's like okay great now that that's settled

I have another task for you. You have one more shot at the crown. And that shot is you have to go use your newfound key in this space. You have to take this chalk and use this key and get a knife. Get a knife. Yeah. You have to go into the space That is guarded by What is his name?

Sleeping man Yeah something like that I don't remember what his name is The pale sleeping man And you have to go in there And you have to The one rule is you can't eat any food He's going to have a huge banquet

Hall full of food but you can't eat any of it And you just to have a huge banquet hall full of food, but you can't eat any of it. And you just have to use the key, get the knife and get out of there before the hourglass runs out of sand. Yeah. So she goes to this one. A lot of steps actually. Relatively straightforward. Like go to the room, unlock the door, but it's like make your own door out of chalk. Then use the hourglass.

Then don't touch anything on the table Also the Pale sleeping man is described He's like your life depends on it don't eat anything On the table There's all these paintings on the wall of his Lair that are of him like Eating people he's very

Scary There's no reason to The stakes are so clear There's a pile of kids shoes Oh god There's a pile of children's shoes That he's eaten the children And the faun gives her

Three fairies He's like follow the fairies They will tell you Where the knife is Just make sure you get in and get out And by the way the fairies also Did not do a great job because they pointed to The wrong keyhole and she was like no

Sweetie it's the other one And she opens it gets the knife And then you know obviously The the pale man Has the eyes on his hands he's scary His skin is sagging whatever He realizes she's there he chases her out she just Narrowly she misses the

Sand on the hourglass but then she paints Another door with the chalk and just narrowly Misses him my question here is So she did do obviously It was a little more clunky than we Wanted but she did ultimately do what She was meant to do is that correct She did what she was meant to do but at what cost

Like did she lose the life of two fairies of course of course the fairies got eaten who got gruesomely their heads oh yeah because she ate something off the table she goes down there with with three fairies two grapes not even worth it the she's got she's accomplished a task she's gotten the knife she's on her fucking way out the door and she turns, sees a grape and goes like, I would like to eat that grape though. And the fairies fly in front of her face and go like, it's like very like Tinkerbell style.

Like, and she goes like, swats it away. Excuse me. Very rude. These are fucking fair. You were so excited for a fair that you literally thought a bug was one. And now you have various and you're disregarding them

Fairy tells her don't eat the grape She takes the grape Eats it and the fairy is really Upset and we see Behind her the sleeping man like Like sort of like and he like taps His little nasty fingers on the table Right in front of him on a plate

Are his two eyeballs That one by one he picks up And puts into eye sockets in the center of his palms. And we see him doing this while she goes for a second fucking break. Get out of there. And so then, yes, the nasty sleeping man gets up. He has his little nasty eyeballs on his hands and he the fairies to protect ophelia start trying to distract him and he grabs two of them and bites them in half and so yes ophelia manages to make it out uh but she killed two fairies for two fairies for two grapes Which you know what Big mistake

Not worth it Yeah Truly I mean she's I feel like she had been Pretty smart the whole time I was kind of like Okay

This is like honestly Hard to believe She's being insane right now Wasn't she being like Hypnotized Like there was a sort of It wasn't explained But I figured

There's a Like the lair Has a sort of Magical quality Where the food was The food was also like glowing a little bit And like sparkly yeah I think you're Right there's got to be a pull

To it beyond just like well I could use A grape yeah she was like She was like dead eyed like looking At the grapes like I need The grapes We'll give her that let's give her that Yeah okay she was hypnotized by the grapes That night

I think it's also that night when we cut to Like what's happening in the with in the real World we see that um Mercedes And the doctor go to visit the rebels Yes and they go to the rebel Camp in the middle of the night And we see that one of the rebels is Mercedes Brother um and so

That's why she feels you you know, so inclined to help them. Ooh, we see the doctor take a look at that guy's leg. And that leg is not a leg. It's black and nasty and bad. And we see the doctor. The guy says, is there anything that can be done? And he says, there's no saving it. And so he pulls out.

Oh, amputation is Big old least favorite thing My is my least Favorite thing especially dirty In the woods in the night you know it's Really he like gives him he like takes A fucking shot of alcohol Liquor is like

It's not gonna work Bleeding I feel like isn't It yeah but I mean It's gonna be bad Yeah so Fortunately we don't really see it but the doctor Takes out that nasty saw and he Tells the guy he goes I'll do as few cuts

As possible Awful awful awful and the guy He says like are you ready and the guy says wait And he like he has like he takes like a Moment to say goodbye to his leg, which made me really sad. He like makes him wait and he like looks at his leg and then he goes like, okay. Oh, devastating.

Thankfully we cut away. We don't see it, but we know. I mean, we know. Well, that cut though was also pretty gruesome because it's like he does one slash and it like goes in and then it's like, okay, great. I was not looking. It was very intense. And I was like, I like jumped at that point, even's like Okay great I was not looking It was very intense And I was like

I like jumped at that point Even though like You knew it was coming But it was like Ugh And then I was over there I sort of thought They weren't gonna show it

I really thought They were gonna cut away But they really They showed the first Saw Okay great Yeah I did I fully did not look

I'm not I'm not looking at that Come on now Um Yeah So that That happens That's bad Oh and we see Um I'm not looking at that. Come on now. Yeah. So that that happens. That's bad.

Oh, and we see Mercedes gives her brother a key. We knew it. Another key to that storeroom. There was more than one. And so she gives the key to the rebels. And then we see that Ophelia does put that Mandrake in the milk under her mom's Bed and her mom is like immediately getting better Her fever's breaking she's feeling better

The doctor's like wow I don't Know how that's happening we see that he has there's like a Little tincture that he's been giving her To like basically knock her Out and he's like Wow we I guess you don't need to Take this like I don't know why you're better but it's it's working and so you know that's that's great news yeah and so then

is that when like then the fawn comes that night and it's like okay did you do your task the like for it is that night but during the day that day We have the rebels blow up a train Oh To distract So the rebels blow up a train so all the soldiers Like go there and are like okay great They were stealing things from the train

Then they realize oh they didn't steal anything from the train They're stealing from us Classic war tactic And they go back and the rebels have like blown up some stuff and taken things from the storage up at the captain and this is where this i think was so stupid i know i'm not a soldier i'm no i'm no genius military mind but they have taken rations from the storeroom and and oh like the lock is clearly open and unlocked. And so it's very obvious somebody they didn't like blow up the door.

They had a key and somebody went in and unlocked it and was like, anyway, here's how I got in. Here's some evidence for you. I had the key to this room. Feels like a huge mistake. But so they notice that things have been stolen. They, you know, full shots are being fired from the rebels in the woods they're shooting back and forth and they do manage to take one of the rebels prisoner and this is a man we saw earlier um we learned that he has a stutter and that he's the one they managed to take prisoner until they tie him up in the shed Um and Ugh

The captain is so mean The captain Is Ugh The captain gets into his whole kill ritual thing Pulling out various Bad tools Like with the hammer we'll get to know each other

Pretty well and then with the pliers Oh we'll be like brothers And then once the scissors come out well like i'll feel closer to you than anyone on this planet or whatever and it was just like oh god like he enjoys it you know one of those and he says to him he's like oh all the all the informants we could have tried to get we have this fucking stutterer and so he goes up to him and he goes I'll let you go I won't Do anything to you if you can count to three without Stuttering which is like I wish he hadn't Even tried because of course he's not letting you go

Don't let this man debase you this way But he tries he gets One great Two great Can't get three out without stuttering And and the captain just looks at him and goes Shame and then hammers him Hammers him yeah it really i mean i i know this is the point obviously but it is i mean it is just such a smart thing to do to have the biggest villain

of all be like an actual human and not one of the many magical creatures that we need like it's like this guy is just like fully Has no empathy is drunk on power Like it lives to humiliate And murder everyone around him Um thinks of his wife As like a vessel for their child and does not care If she lives or dies like it is Um and unfortunately

He's kind of hot so that also adds Another layer yeah he is hot Now unfortunately Like when he's like unbuttoning his shirt and like picking up the weapons It was like damn A hot dad we call that a hot dad here on the pod We would call him a hot dad I'm sorry unfortunately

I hate to report it But that is we would have to We would be obligated It's journalistic integrity Look We don't have to like it but we do have to report it and so that night the fawn comes then the fawn comes and he's like oh my god awesome job you did it and she's like there was a problem though and he's like the way she brought this up was very like something happened like you fucked up there was a problem yeah let's

take ownership let's take some accountability you're 10 and you're in a war um also the fairy told on her well the fairy told on her only fairy did tell on her yeah but it was obviously two fairies are gone no that's fair and yeah so she opens the case and only one fairy flies out and he's like what and then the other that remaining fairy whispers into the ear and then i would if i were that fairy be like this bitch ate two grapes oh my god ophelia should have let the third fairy die too and kept the secret honestly yeah that would have been smart no survivors um and then the fawn's like you fucked up you'll never be princess i will exist only in your memories which even those will soon fade bye um and she's upset and

then the next day and then it cuts to the next day well in the meantime i feel like the hostage is like a big part of it because that is what sort of he yes well two things happen he because he's tortured so much and as we know torture works and is a very good tool at times of war that america should use more information you get everything anyone says says and while they're being tortured is the truth people absolutely tell you the truth while they're being beaten senseless they want to they want to help And that's the main message of this film So he so he does Spill the beans that there is an

Informant in the Captain's house And then in the meantime He says who he doesn't say So the doctor gets Called the captain is fucking He doesn't say who but the captain calls the Doctor into like tend to the prisoners

Wounds basically so he can keep Torturing him And we see his face is all Bloody but ooh the worst part The worst part I have to say it His hand is all Crumpled up and bloody and the doctor

Takes it to look at it and it's been Sliced like down throughpled up and bloody and the Doctor takes it to look at it and it's Been sliced like down Through the middle Crushed and sliced and Absolutely hot dog styled and Oh it's awful And so the Doctor is going to like tend to his

Fix him up meanwhile the captain Oh sorry so he Fixed him up and the doctor just Looks at him and the guy just says like kill me please kill me Which like yeah kill him he's gonna just keep Getting tortured And he does whisper to the doctor like I told them A little I said there's an informant

But I didn't say who And the doctor gives him an injection To kill him And While he's doing that the captain looks in the Doctor's medical bag And sees a vial of antibiotics That looks just like the vial of antibiotics

That they took from the rebel camp And so he has a little light bulb And so he goes to go into his room To find that vial and like compare So he leaves while the doctor Basically, you know, kills this Mercy kills this prisoner um and yeah then the captain comes back and is like you disobeyed me when you killed him i told you

to make him better so i could keep torturing him yeah i was gonna say i'd be pretty scared to to do that because i feel like you're gonna pay the price for that i think it was the doctor was sort of like he was sort of like i'm gonna die it was like mask off like i'm it's like i won't like allow somebody else to suffer my days are numbered so basically as the doctor walks away he is murdered by the captain well he gives a dramatic he gives a dramatic like um how do you disobey me like you're supposed to obey me and he's like no you obey people like to obey me. And he's like, no, you obey people. Like I obey. I question people. He says someone who obeys just for the sake of obeying.

I can't do that. Only men like you can do that. Yeah. And then he walks away proudly while he gets shot in the back. And then he gets shot. But I was like, hey, man, we've seen what else this guy does. Not so bad. Not so bad.

That's very kind, honestly. Yeah. The timing is bad because Yes when he had gone back Up to his room to check the vial Which he is like okay yeah it is The doctor he goes into Carmen's room And he sees Ophelia with

The mandrake root under the bed and he like Pulls around he's like what is this Then is like really upset about It and Carmen's like let me deal with with let me deal with it so he leaves and carmen tells ophelia like you have to stop believing in magic magic isn't real fairy tales aren't real and she throws the mandrake root into the fire where it starts to scream and like shrivel up and like um and immediately carmen collapses and like something is happening With the baby and so then we

See the captain goes he kills the Doctor and right away They need a doctor because Something's happening with Carmen so he like has them Call the troop paramedic And pretty immediately We yeah she goes into labor we see a lot Of blood the baby is born

But of course she dies Cut to funeral Yeah And then Is this when Does the fawn come back here I'm like when does the fawn give her her last Challenge

Just about so what happens is The so we have the funeral We see Ophelia goes into her mom's room um and we see her stash she like finds the tincture that her mom had been taking to like get knocked out we see that um like not not take it but like take the bottle with her um and then the captain calls Mercedes into his office because, uh, he had seen that when the storeroom was broken into, it was broken into using a fucking key. Um, and so he has her sit down with him and he's like, Oh, it's so interesting. They've, they're being helped

by someone on the inside. And, uh, Oh, and he, so he he tells he Like very much scares her But then asks he's like Okay you can go we I need you to get something for me from the storeroom And she's like okay great and she gets up to go And he says Mercedes I'm the only one who has a key right Don't you need the key to get in there and she's like

Mm-hmm so she knows She's found out he doesn't do anything yet But so she's like oh I gotta I got to get out of here. So she stashes her stuff. And she goes to Ophelia. And it's like, Ophelia, I'm leaving. And Ophelia begs her to take her with her. So they both try to sneak out into the woods in the night.

And of course, the captain gets them and does not let them leave. And so he locks Ophelia back in her room, puts Mercedes back in that torture room. And starts going through his little torture ritual. She's all tied up. And he's like saying the same stuff to her about the hammer and the knife. He has his back turned to her and he's like looking at all his fun tools that he loves. And then she starts fiddling with the knife that she stores in her dress.

And as he's explaining. Yeah, we had seen before. Yeah. That every time she like chops vegetables, she takes her little knife and like rolls it up in her apron so it's tucked in there because she's smart she's smart um and we see of course she has that knife and uh this she stabs him in the back she stabs the guy in the back and it feels awesome the captain gets stabs him in the front and then she stabs him in the front and And then she stabs him in the front. And then she cuts the knife in his mouth. Joker style.

But first she says like, she puts the knife in his mouth and threatens him and says like, leave the girl alone. Like I've gutted pigs fatter than you or something like that. And he says like, you never suspect me because I'm a woman and that's why you like, it was always me and you never thought it could have been.

And then she goes like And cuts slow And like looks like deep in there Through his mouth Joker style Yeah one cheek One cheek is cut all the way up But he's still alive I feel like

I didn't quite get that I was kind of like why not kill I know the knife is pretty Small I mean she still definitely Could have killed him if she'd done enough But like there's no way she could have killed him quick Well I was expecting him to like cut Or I was expecting her to cut his throat sort of

Yeah she doesn't kill him for some Reason Seems like a mistake She's a pacifist Yeah she decides to but so She does fuck him up and then just like does she think she's gonna get away with that she walks away really quietly in a way that's kind of cool okay because she's still in the

base of all the soldiers or whatever so she's just like and she's covering up calmly she's like covered in blood and walking slowly and she's like oh my god don't look Well and one of them even like One of them sees her and he says to the other guy Like oh wow he let her go And the other soldier's like wait And they make eyes and she's like And so she just gives them a big thumbs up She's like it's cool

All good I'm innocent Banshees of Inishirin style Like to the donkey Um And So they She runs into the woods They follow her

But then She The rebels come out And they kill Those soldiers And it's her brothers alive They hug She goes

Back with rebels And we Yeah So that's Mercedes is okay Yeah And then The soldiers die Yeah She goes back with Rebels and we. Yeah. So that's a mistake. Mercedes is OK. Yeah. And then the soldiers die.

Yeah. Wait, why does the phone come back, though? I don't remember. Doesn't she go and meet the phone? She like goes into the labyrinth. Is that wrong? That comes next. Doesn't she find him?

No, I think the phone comes back and is like now she's locked in a room on her own. And I think night has fallen, which I guess is when the faun comes. And he comes back and he's like, okay, fine, I changed my mind. He goes, I'll give you one more chance. Right. To complete your final task, you need to bring your brother into the labyrinth and bring him to me. And then We will let you back in

So She Her brother is in The captain's room So she goes Sneaks in there and meanwhile we see The captain has gone back To his room he has learned

That Mercedes got away and that now there Are like 50 or so rebels And only 20 of them so They're pretty much fucked Um and he Then he goes into his office or room or whatever And starts stitching Up his own mouth

So gross He really just puts it back together How could somebody fucking do that I'm sort of like if you didn't want the doctor to betray you Clearly you have the skills of a doctor So you should have just like forgotten So yeah we see him like Stitch up his own

Mouth And then take two shots that only make him Seemingly I was just gonna say With an open wound All through your mouth But An open wound

The liquid that comes Through the wound Ew It's the nastiest thing I guess it's a root Antiseptic Or like if maybe It's cleaning it

It's cleaning it Numbing at a certain point It's cleaning So we see him He takes two shots And then he fills his cup up again And puts it down And meanwhile

Ophelia is in his room Like sneaking around And he sort of notices like Something feels off We see her take the tincture And drop some drops of that Into his glass But he leaves the room

A soldier comes in and he's like We're being attacked They go out The rebels are fully blowing up their shit Because now they know That they are more of them and they're you know They have the upper hand And so Ophelia gets

Her brother And is Going to carry him out Captain comes back in Drinks that cup but Then sees Ophelia and is like Give me my son and starts, he gets a gun and she's like,

no, he starts following her, but he's pretty immediately like a little woozy, but obviously not fast enough. Um, and so she heads into the labyrinth with her brother and he starts following her. This is the only point in time where it actually did sort of feel a

labyrinth. Where it was like, there were little like shining ass where they it was like there were twists and turns. A little like Shining-esque, where they're just like, you know, yeah. Going around a lot of corners. Mm-hmm. So she gets to the faun. She gets to the faun. And her

final challenge is to sort of get her brother's innocent blood and put it into the big well So that The portal will open with blood of an innocent The blood of an innocent

And she refuses to do that The faun is like no you stupid girl You have to do it that's the only way you'll open the portal You don't even know this baby You barely know him You don't even know him You're a princess you're going to not be a princess Is it like asking to kill the baby Or just take a little bit of blood You barely know him You don't even know him Like you're a princess You're gonna not be a princess Because this fucking baby

Is it like asking to kill the baby Or just like Take a little bit of blood And he That's the other thing He was like I just need a little And she was like

I don't believe you And I was like Yeah Which fair honestly I don't know that I would believe him either Right I mean he is a faun He's a literal monster of the underworld

And he's like Can I just quickly borrow that baby I'll give it right back He's a little too excited for the baby's blood It is a little suspect But so yeah she's like no no no I'm not and she's holding him to her and she's like no And then just then the captain

Shows up he made his way To her And he says give me my Give me my son back Which she's you know she has she has no choice, really. Yeah. So she gives him the son and then he shoots her. Damn.

Yeah. And he shoots her and she falls. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I know he's a dick. I guess. I don't know why it surprises me. He's an asshole.

He never liked her. It was kind of a... I was surprised it went there. But I was also... I celebrated it. I didn't celebrate it, but... No, no. I didn't know. I was surprised it went there But I was also I celebrated it I didn't celebrate it I like the swing

I like the commitment to It's the choice So then her blood Falls into the well And it turns Sorry go ahead Well we're still not sure like her blood is falling Is she dead

Is Right Is this gonna work Like is that blood Gonna open it Is she innocent enough Cause she did eat those two grapes Is she innocent enough

And he turns around And has the baby And sees all the rebels Are there And then The And the Mercedes is like

Give me the baby And he does Cause now he's out. He's going to die. He realizes like, OK, they're going to kill me. And so he hands the baby. And then he's like, just I want just tell the like I want the baby to know what time I died. Tell my son.

Yeah. What time his father, which was a theme we learned. His father did the same thing. He like smashed his watch at the time that he got killed so that his son would know what time he died interesting he's like i'll tell my son what time i died and mercedes has the like the most killer line ever where she's like no your baby won't even know your name it's awesome hell yeah it was actually such a sleigh it felt incredible i loved her just being like no she like barely even Let him finish speaking It was like

This is amazing Yeah And then we watched The blood of Ophelia Drip into the Labyrinth We'll call it a labyrinth

If we have to Sure And Then It does Open And she like Is taken to

The fantasy Underworld That's like all golden yellow. And there's a king and a queen sitting there. She is her mother. She looks healthy. She doesn't have any blood on her. She's wearing an iconic sort of Project Runway-esque found materials outfit. Yes.

And then her mother and her father, who are glowing and bejeweled, sit on tall thrones. And there's a third throne all for her. And the faun is like, you passed the final test, which was basically no matter what I told you to do, you chose to sacrifice your own blood rather than the blood of an innocent. And then he calls her your highness. And it's clear that she is now Back in her kingdom As a princess And Then we go back to

Is the final scene Mercedes Like embracing her as she's dying In the normal world now I think so So then we see like her mortal form She dies We see her like sort of smile as she's dying. Cause you know, in her mind, she's, she's back in her palace.

Um, and yeah, we see Mercedes crying over her as she dies in the, in war-torn Spain. They killed that 10 year old. Yeah, they really did do it. Yeah, they really killed her. They really killed a 10 year old and then we get our final voiceover um explaining the the rest of the fairy tale it was basically like and then she lived happily ever after kind of it was like they're like she returned to her kingdom she ruled for many years um she left traces of her time on earth for those who, who know where to look. And we see like a little flower bloom and, and,

um, wow. So sad. That's the end of the movie. That was it. That was the whole movie. Yeah. Yeah.

The one little detail I do think is important to mention is that at some point when she's talking to the fawn, the captain walks in and can't see the fawn. Yes. Correct. So it is like, there is a sense That maybe this is all

In her head Although that's But the one counterpoint to that Is that the captain can see The root under the bed Which was given to her by the fawn So I think it's physically halfway between Yeah like halfway between

Fantasy and reality. Yeah. It is interesting. It definitely is. There's, I feel like the first time I saw this, I was like, Oh,

a hundred percent. The fantasy world is real. Like she, and this time watching it, which I'm maybe older and sadder that I was like, Oh, I think it could, there's absolutely a version where this is like all in her head.

Um, and this is is she like created this like The bug the fairy was just a bug and she Imagined it to be A fairy like the the root she Maybe she found it the like All of this is An escape she gave herself Um and then she just actually

Dies at the end both are I don't know Whether it's like true or not it she found happiness and an escape and a fantasy because you know the world is a horrible horrible scary place particularly then and for her um but i don't know yeah either one i kind of like leaning into that it is real and i feel like kimura toro tends to make the fantasy real like it's like no no there really is like a fish man and you can fall in love with him and they're really right now yeah all of that is true so i don't know but there's room there's room to to think about either one i choose to believe

and also as we've learned there's more evil in the real world than there is in the literal yeah i was i was the whole time expecting a twist from the faun i was surprised when it just like was like oh no it's because even at the beginning when it was like oh the underworld she the girl the princess dreamt of being in the normal world like i was like oh it's going to be sort of like the message is like the reality you have is still bad yeah like and so instead it was like oh no i guess the underworld just does kind of rule and in the intro the princess there was just like wanting to explore something else i was confusing yeah she just like wanted to go to college and then but then she moved back come back yeah Very like part of your world you know Like Ariel wanted to see where the people are

Situation Yeah It's a really it's a really beautiful movie It's really upsetting And also just like really Lovely Yeah it was so good Everything looked incredible I was really impressed

With how good all the scary, spooky stuff looked. And a lot of, I read that there, obviously there's some CGI, like the fairies and stuff and the toad, but a lot of it was practical. And you can tell, I mean, he's so good at creature design and all that stuff in it. It really, yeah, it does. It does look really good, especially considering 2006 considering 2006 You know Absolute black pit of time For all content who cares I mean truly

Computers weren't even invented yet What won best picture in That year so 2007 That's a great question Best picture winner It was The Departed Very different movie Very different movie A very different movie

Wow Interesting I also don't feel like we were like Even considering actually giving a best picture to a foreign film in 2007 Like we're like yeah we'll nominate it but Well it wasn't nominated for best picture I don't think Oh just um Screenplay?

Yeah maybe even director Although wait hold on let me see but that was also back when there were only five best picture nominees right so the departed letters from iwo jima the queen babble and little miss sunshine whoa wow little miss sunshine was nominated for best picture yeah it was a huge huge indie success yeah oh best international feature film it was nominated yeah i think he won an oscar this year right for pinocchio gamma for pinocchio he did which is apparently amazing i keep meaning to watch it yeah and he has since won best picture for shape of water didn't shape of water win best picture yeah i think panzer wants us more than shape of water i agree actually yeah i was impressed with how like it was also yeah dealing with like a civil war like fascism going on while also dealing with fantasy i was like this is a lot to juggle

and you're doing it so well yeah i know when i went back to like take these notes i kept being like oh my god There's so much Like there's so much Back and forth There's the fond story But then yeah There's like all the war stuff That's just a lot

Happening Also it's a lot When I remember When I was thinking About rewatching this movie I was like Oh I think this is A really long one

Hour 50 Which like Isn't crazy For a movie like this They don't make movies Like they used to They don't make movies Maybe 2006

Was the best time of year. If this movie were made today, it would be three and a half hours. Absolutely. We would be adding at least an extra hour to this. This is a 250. No question. It would also be like all CGI somehow worse CGI and

extremely dark so that they wouldn't have to work on the special effects more. Absolutely too dark. Yeah. But I'm glad we finally Extremely dark so that they like wouldn't have to Work on the special effects more Absolutely too dark Yeah But I'm glad we finally we finally did this One it was Great to revisit I recommend Recommend to people to watch it

If it's not too scary you know When you can look away from that violence You know you know you know when it's coming And so you can Look away it is tough to look away In a subtitled film That's a little bit harder you know you know you know when it's coming and so you can you can look away it is tough to look away in a subtitled film that's a little bit harder you know you might you might miss stuff and even if you do my classic trick of covering part of the screen you still got to leave those you know those subtitles open so if any violence is happening in the lower part of the screen you

you still might see it but it's worth a watch yeah couldn't agree more for instance when you were talking about the severed hand that was cut across the hand i actually did not know that until you just said it because i i think i had closed my eyes i don't think i could see it so clearly i forced i forced my i say i looked away for the legs we really we did a good job of talking to you because i amputation i can't do but that one i was like I just I felt that I needed To know it's easier for me to Look once it has Happened than when it is happening Could not have watched him

Cut that hand or beat that hand But once it's done I can sort of be like Okay what happened there It's kind of like my relationship with scary movies In this podcast I'm like Once it's done I can experience It but I don't want to live through it and you know shout out to magic chalk i feel like not enough fantasy too much but

it made me it was like chalk's pretty fun chalk's pretty fun it's a long time i love a secret door oh don't get me started on a secret door So nice So nice Yeah I love that Well thank you so much for doing this With us Thanks for having us

And we would love to tell our listeners a bit About Stradio Lab About anything else you want to plug Where can everybody check you out So So straight lab, you go for it, you go do it. Okay. So straight lab is our, uh, podcast about straight culture. So each episode we, uh, have a guest and they bring in, uh, a straight topic. So it can be something simple like football or weddings or something more sort of like high concept like um someone someone's topic was overhead lighting which is honestly one of my favorite topics we've done

um or like math actually a good recent one was maps just like physical maps wow yeah i would put i would put yeah like needing looking up directions feels like it's a very fun lens through it's a very fun lens through which's a very fun lens Through which to view Everything And you can sort of Debate whether something Is straight or not

But um Yeah That's it It's a pun on Radiolab And it's our podcast Amazing Well where And

Any Social Social medias Oh sure Oh just look up our names You'll find it all Sam Taggart And George Severus.

We use our real names. Yeah. On everything. We use our real names. Great. And if I shared your Instagram reel, I'm really sorry. And I did not mean anything by it. Look, we're all doing what we can.

Our brains aren't meant to process. It's true. It's true. What's happening on our phones. Yeah. It's unnatural. Again, somebody invent cat bird TV, but for human social media. It's true What's happening on our phones Yeah It's unnatural Again Somebody invent Cat

Bird TV But for human Social media I would love it And solar powered Chargers Solar powered chargers Charger phones

We've come up with a lot of Really good ideas Yeah Get to work people Get to work So get to work Get to work No voices in this one

We usually end with a voice I mean just It's just in In Spanish Oh my god I just No I can't I know to work. No voices in this one. We usually end with a voice. I mean, it's just in Spanish. Oh my God. No, I can't. Can I try to figure out how to say it in Spanish? Okay, hold on. What do we usually say from all

of us here? Por todos nosotros at Too Scared and Watch. Hasta luego. Hasta luego. Hasta Watch. Hasta luego. Hasta luego. Hasta luego. Hasta luego. Hasta luego.

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