Too Scary; Didn't Watch - SICK

Episode Date: January 17, 2024

We're throwing it all the way back to April 2020 with Kevin Williamson's SICK, a peak-Covid slasher/home invasion movie that is...dare we say.... a godamn romp?? Is it too soon or not soon enough to be partying with disinfectant? We aren't thinking too hard about this one, just enjoying our new favorite weapon - massive antlers!!TrailerMovie stats @ 12:12Recap begins @ 15:05Follow the show: @TSDWpodcast on Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram.Check out our Patreon for bonus episodes and additional content!Rate Too Scary; Didn’t Watch 5 Stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Emily, Henley, and Sammy.Advertise on Too Scary; Didn't Watch via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is Emily, Henley, and Sammy, and you're listening to Too Scary, Didn't Watch. Hi, everyone. Welcome to Too Scary, Didn't Watch, the horror Recap Podcast for those too scared to watch for themselves. I'm Henley and I am too scared to watch scary movies. I'm Sammy and I love watching scary movies and so I watch them so that you don't have to. And we are missing Emily today. We're missing her dearly, but the show must go on. The show must go on. Emily, we love you.

We love you, Emily. We always have and we always will. And other than the scary thing of Emily not being here, did anything scary happen to us this week? Just the constant relentless scariness of parenthood, of motherhood. It's never ending. I would say I think the thing that I've been feeling the most recently is trying to figure out when I have time for myself, which feels like... Impossible. Impossible.

Really impossible. like impossible, impossible, really impossible. And every time I think I'm about to get time for myself, something comes up, something goes awry and that doesn't happen. So like today, for example, I, um, thought that we were going to have, Oh my God god and Tim is poking his head into the room oh my god and Tim is here surprise hi Timmy there's a little priest poking his back in his head there's a little priest in here

do you need to come in are you just saying hi I'm recording now yeah I love you bye bye okay so case in point um so I thought that okay here's my situation and I am constantly telling myself and retelling myself this situation over and over again trying to like make sense of it and it still doesn't make any sense but i have help from a woman who comes to my house and will take care of one of my children at a time i can only afford

her to take care of one child at a time because it is so expensive. Thank God for her. Seriously. Thank God for her. I just bow down. Gloria, we love you. Caregivers out there. Bless you. Truly. However, this means that I only have to take care of one child at a time, which means that when Silas is in preschool, preschool, I say in quotes, I get two hours to myself where he's in preschool. That's from 1145 to 145.

Yeah. Monday through Thursday. Okay. Four days a week, two hours a day, eight hours total. It is very hard to get something done in two hours i do you have this thing where i mean i'm sure you do and i'm sure your concept of time is all messed up in general but like if i have a free day but then i have a meeting at say 1 p.m like the whole morning is ruined for me i'm like well i've got to mentally prepare for this 1pm thing. Like I can't get anything done

because I have a meeting at 1. Yes. Yes. Yes. And I wonder if that has any relation to when I'm waiting for something, I want to just, you know, I have to stand in line. I'm waiting for a movie ticket. I'm standing in line to get to the bathroom or whatever. I am so diligently watching that line. I am not focused on anything else. Like I'm in the grocery store waiting to check out. I am watching the fucking checkout line get smaller and smaller and smaller. What, just in case someone like cuts in front of me, like what am I watching for? I feel like I do it for the dread of being the person that's not paying attention. And they're like, hello, next in line, next in line.

And I'm like, oh my God, I just delayed everybody behind me because I wasn't paying attention. And there's also just some kind of masochistic pleasure in it. There's some pleasure. It's like watching paint dry. You're like, i'm being productive in some way by watching this happen anyway that mentality has got a factor in somehow but those two hours man i really want to protect them as much as i can but holy shit i would say 70 of the time something comes in to fuck up those two hours so today it was a snow day so school got

canceled so those two hours boom gone yeah right now we're recording while silas naps we'll see how long that fucking yeah so we might have to piecemeal this episode together and then the past couple of weeks, it was just rolling sicknesses. First, it was Silas had RSV. Then May had RSV. Everyone was sick. I feel like we've gotten through that. It was really scary.

We had to go to the ER with Silas. We had to go to the ER with May. I luckily live only five minutes away from the ER. So I feel pretty part of me is just like, just go, you know, like, just go. You know, and I was saying, cause my health insurance changed this year and my emergency room copay is actually pretty affordable. And so, because I'm so mad about having to pay so fucking much for health insurance, I'm like, I'm going to go to the emergency room for everything. And I probably won't, you medical professionals out there, don't yell at me.

I'm not actually going to do it. But it's just like health insurance is so annoying. I could talk about that forever. It's so annoying. It's so complicated. It doesn't make any sense. I had to go to the ER with May. She had a fever and she was just kind of inconsolable at 4 a.m tylenol we'd given her

tylenol wasn't helping she was super stuffy i knew she had rsv because i'd taken her to the doctor she'd been tested so i was like fuck it i'm just taking her to the er right now go to the er there's nothing they can do for rsv like there's nothing they can do except monitor her and make sure she's getting enough fluids right there. There's no medicine for it. You just have to monitor it to make sure it doesn't turn into bronchitis or pneumonia, which, thank God, it didn't. And I got to tell you, we've just been having a hell of a time, and it's only January 16th. Yeah. This winter.

This winter. It's a lot. It sounds like a lot. I'm coming to visit you soon. Okay, Sammy, I am so freaking excited. I can help with things. No, you're not going to help with anything. I actually have been thinking about that.

I was like, oh, poor Sammy. This is like not a fun situation to visit. It's going to be fun. I'm going to have a good time because you're going to be there. Oh, that's really, that's so sweet. The thing that I did last night is that I bought us tickets to go see a Broadway production

on the Saturday that you're here. Oh my god, yay! A matinee. Hell yeah. And we're going to spend all day in New York and I'm going to have some goddamn dirty martinis. You better believe it. I will as well.

That sounds wonderful. I can't freaking wait. Oh my God. I can't. I'm so excited you're coming. I'm so excited. It feels like a dream. It feels like it can't be real.

It's real. It's going to happen and it's going to be amazing and it's it's real it's gonna happen and it's gonna be amazing and it's gonna be not scary something wonderful in the horizon to look forward to a brief reprieve okay so tell me tell me how you're doing tell me well i've been sick this whole year so far as well i think i had a sinus infection um because i took one million COVID tests and they were all negative. It's just weird to be sick and have it not be COVID. You know, if you're always like, wait, it's COVID though, right? Everybody has COVID right now. Like, how do I not have COVID? But it wasn't COVID. So I was just sleeping a lot and lots of sinus headaches, sinus pressure. The sinus infections are the worst. Did you feel like your face was like swollen? Yeah. Just like your face, whole face hurts. Now my, it's mostly gone, but my ears are still popping every time I swallow, which is very annoying. But I'm on the mend. But something

that I've been doing while sick is watching a lot of movies and television. And I just wanted to tell you that I finally started Zero Zero Zero. You did? Which is on Amazon Prime. It's like a crime thriller, drug cartel show with Andrea Risborough and Dane DeHaan. I'm really loving it. I have some trouble following the plot at times in the first episode. They're like all, there's a lot of soldiers dressed in like completely covering their faces. And I'm like, I don't know. I have no idea who's who, but I know the camera is lingering on certain people and I'm supposed to be like learning about this character, but I'm like, I have no idea who's who but i know the camera is lingering on certain people and i'm supposed to be like learning about this character but i'm like i have no idea who that is um so that's been a

little bit tricky but i'm i'm getting the hang of it and henley you didn't tell me extremely important vessel show there's a vessel featured big time. Big time. It is a cargo ship transporting cocaine across the Atlantic. And yeah, we're spending a lot of time on this vessel and I'm loving it. Sammy, this show has to have one of the most jaw-dropping, astonishing, unbelievable, shocking. I cannot come up with enough words to describe the final scene of this show. Oh my God. I normally want to temper expectations with everything. You know, my personality.

I just expect, expect the most. Wow. I can't wait. Just expect the most. Wow. Expect the most. Wow. I can't wait. You know, speaking of the curse finale, if anybody out there watches the curse, that

finale is also, I think, one of the most insane finales I've ever seen in my life. It's wild. But something I wanted to say about Zero Zero Zero is, you know, previously on our Gremlins episode, I brought up the band Mogwai and said, I'm not a fan of Mogwai, which was I just don't really know Mogwai. But Mogwai does the whole score for 000 and the music is so good in it. And it made me realize that I've actually listened to Mogwai and used them in editing before I like use it. Temp, temp music. But I just didn't remember the name. So apologies to Mogwai.

I am a fan. And set their records straight. You know, it's my one genre of music I like is instrumental and they have lots of instrumental stuff. So I'm back in. I love music again. Just kidding. Just kidding. Let's not get into it. Actually, I was thinking about that because I bought us tickets to a musical and Tim immediately

said, doesn't Sammy hate music? And then I got a little nervous. No, I will enjoy a musical. I feel like those are kind of just for the whole show of it. You know, it's not like, it's not like a concert. No, it's not a concert. I mean, we'll just see. We show of it. You know, it's not like it's not like a concert. No, it's not a concert. I mean, we'll just see. We'll take it. We'll see. We'll see.

We'll see what happens. But so in the spirit of being sick, this week's movie is sick. Sick came out in 2023 and it was directed by John Hyams, written by Kevin Williamson and Caitlin Crabb, starring Gideon Adlin, Beth Millian, Dylan Sprayberry, Mark Manchassa, and Jane Adams.

And it is streaming on Peacock. Henley, what do you know about this movie? Absolutely nothing. What else did Kevin Williamson write? A little movie called Scream. Maybe you've heard of it. That's what I thought. I wanted to say it, but then you want to sound like an idiot. Okay. Okay. Yeah. So legendary horror screenwriter. This movie got requested a lot when it came out. And so it's been on my list of things to watch. And then because I like to do end of the year lists, I've been trying to cram in as many 2023 movies as I can.

And technically, it says 2022 on IMDb, but it's that thing where it like released in a festival in 2022 and then got released wide in January of 2023. So I'm counting it as a 2023 movie. And so I wanted to watch it just on the off chance that it was going to make that top 10 list. I knew it wasn't going to, not in a bad way, but I just, you know, it's... The chances were slim. The chances were slim. This was a good movie year, but I did enjoy it. It has an 87% on Rotten Tomatoes, a 62% on Metacritic and a% on IMDb. No budget info and not really any trivia. I don't know if it came out in theaters. Because it's a Peacock original,

it might have been a straight-to-streaming situation. This is a COVID-era movie. a COVID era movie. They, it's about COVID. So trigger warning COVID. We're going to be talking about COVID. Okay, great. Taking back to 2020. Okay. Not a fun place to revisit necessarily, but I think we will still have some fun with this movie. It's an 83 minute movie. You love to hear it. Gorgeous. It's like 83-minute movie. You love to hear it. Ooh, gorgeous. It's like an episode of television these days.

Exactly. We will watch the trailer at the end, and that will be available to view on our Patreon, our video trailer reactions at patreon.com slash tfdwpodcast. We also do two bonus episodes a month on there, and you get to vote in patron-chosen episodes every

month. Really wonderful place to be. Just saying. But I think we should just get into this recap. Yeah, let's get into it. I know truly nothing. Didn't even know this movie existed. Hell yeah. Sick. Sick.

Sick. Sick. In the past few years years i have hit a point where i only want to be wearing clothes that are comfortable it happened it happened to me but you know what i still also want to look cute and these are two desires that are often extremely opposing and i don't want to have to sacrifice i want both i want comfort and I want to feel cute and confident. And guess what? Skims has freaking done it again with their soft lounge collection. I am currently very, very obsessed with, I have the soft lounge tank and boxer set. Okay. This tank, it's a great little rib tank. Classic. You can wear it every day. You can pair it with jeans. You can wear it out in the world, or you can wear it with this little boxer short that is so comfortable. It is super,

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that I would tell my mom that I wanted to work at Staples when I grew up because I just loved getting all the things that I needed that I would use every day in class. I still to this day have nightmares about showing up in class without notebooks or number two pencils. Really scary stuff. But luckily I wake up and I realize I don't actually need notebooks or number two pencils anymore. But this fall there is something that I will be using every day and would be terrified to be caught without. And that's Raycon's best-selling everyday earbuds. I've been trying to go on walks every day and so I need earbuds that I can rely on to listen to all my favorite podcasts and I know you guys listen to podcasts as well so you know what I'm talking about. I got my Raycons in carbon black because that's my vibe but they come in other cool colors as well, like forest green and brush violet. But my favorite thing about them is the

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Feels too soon. I'm just gonna say it right off the bat. Feels too soon. Feels too soon. But okay. Okay. I know. I guess Kevin Williamson was interviewed a lot about that. And he was like, I couldn't tell if it was like too soon or too late. It is hard to gauge because it also does feel like a period piece. It's like dated in certain ways. But anyway, so we start with Tyler is in a grocery store. We're all out of toilet paper. We're all like panicking, buying as much toilet paper as possible, which is just such a funny thing that happened that everyone was just like, I'm going to run out of toilet paper. Stockpiling toilet paper and then shaming people for stockpiling toilet paper on the internet. I remember really being like y'all gotta

get bidets and i stand by it bidets rule anyways as tyler is walking around the um aisles that have that like tape on the floor that's like walk this direction only a lot of things really upsetting to be reminded of he gets a text that says hey hey, Hey, Tyler, want to party? And he responds, yeah, sure. Who is this? It's just funny to say yes. And then who is this? They write back, we'll only play if you're COVID safe. You tested. And he writes back like, fuck off, like none of your business. Leave me alone or something. Doesn't know who this person is. Goes, he's seeming a little weirded out by it.

Goes to the checkout line and everyone's, you know, like staying there six feet apart in line. And someone in line coughs, just a single cough. And like everyone turns and looks at them and I'm like, oh my God, I remember that as well. And while he's in the checkout line, he gets texted a photo of him in the checkout line from behind him. But there's like 15 people in line behind him, so he doesn't know who it is. He just like holds up a middle finger to everyone behind him in line. He's freaked out. He checks out.

He rushes home. CNN is playing on the television nonstop. He goes in through his front door, but then he realizes that a side door is wide open. So he is slowly searching the apartment for an intruder. And he goes to turn off the TV so it can be quiet.

And as he turns it off, we see a reflection of somebody in the TV. It's a very creepy shot. That person lunges out of the corner of the room, attacks them. It's like a man in just all black and a black mask, basically a ski mask covering everything.

So you don't really see him, but he's got a knife and he's trying to stab Tyler. Tyler's doing a good job fighting back, but it's, you know, he's got a knife. So he does get stabbed in the hand, but then he's able to push the attacker off and barricade himself in his room. And he grabs a baseball bat. I believe our poll result for weapon of choice. Number one. That was the winner. I disagree, but democracy wins.

Wolverine claws are it for me. I don't know why anyone would pick Wolverine claws but baseball bat, sure. Yeah, Wolverine claws would have been great in this situation. He and to be fair, I think they

chose aluminum bat which is obviously superior to a wooden bat which is what he has. So this is, you know, not exactly the best weapon he could have. So he grabs the bat and he psychs himself up and he's going to run out to fight the guy now. And he opens the door back up. Nobody there. He's looking around the whole apartment, doesn't see anybody. Front door is open now, and so he goes slowly out to look around into the hallway of the

apartment building, and as he's looking out, we see the guy coming up behind him, grabs him from behind, slits his throat. Holy shits! Dead. Sick. Main title. Oh, bye, Tyler.

You were long for the world, huh? Kevin Williamson loves to do this. If you're in the opening scene that Kevin Williamson wrote, chances are. Yeah. So, now we are at a high school. I believe

we're in Utah, and we meet our main character, Parker. She's being very blase about COVID. She's not wearing her mask. She's like, I'm fine. I don't have any symptoms. And her friend, her best friend, Miri, is getting in the car with her. They're like leaving because everyone's been ordered now to go quarantine.

So no school. So they're half excited, half oh yeah i wanted to apologize this is um a time that my cat really likes the door being open so if you hear loud meows in the background just know that's bunk and i will open the door for him later so he gets some sun time yeah uh and so parker and miri are going going to Parker's lake house to quarantine together. And again, Parker is more like relaxed and, uh, chill about it. Miri's like, put your mask on, like we got to, and Miri's doing all the hand sanitizer. She seems a little more like sticking to the CDC guidelines. Uh, so they drive out to Parker's lake house, which, uh, I can't remember if it says where her parents are, but basically they're not around.

And so it's just going to be Parker and Miriam at this lake house. This lake house is absolutely massive and in the middle of nowhere, like there's no other neighbors around. But it's like it looks like a chalet, essentially. Wow. Wow. can you imagine doing that with a college roommate it would be uh so intense to be quarantined with a college roommate in any other situation besides at college i know i mean i think lots of people experience this probably not in chalets but just like quarantining with whoever you were with at the time wasn't again it wasn't a fun time it wasn't a good time no but this looks like an

ideal setting at least if you got a quarantine might as well be in a chalet on the lake parker gets a text that says having fun from an unknown number. She writes back, who is this? They don't respond. We see them unpacking all of their groceries and stuff, supplies for however long they're going to be there, and Clorox wiping everything. They go and sit by the lake in their bathing suits. It's cold, but it's sunny. It's very pretty.

And they're chatting about Parker has posted something on her Instagram of this guy named Blake or something. I can't remember. And they're talking about how he was cute. And Parker says, yeah, I tried to talk to him again, but he ghosted me. And Miri is asking if DJ is mad. So it seems like DJ is maybe someone that Parker has dated or is dating. But Parker doesn't seem too worried about it. And then she gets another text that says, jump in.

The water's fine. Creeped out by that. They go back to the house and the side door is wide open again. The door's being open in the house when you didn't open it. We've talked about that before and no one will save you and that's

it's just fine. You just want to get out of there. Yeah, I'm immediately very scared. So they lock the door. And but again, this place is huge. So there's no way to like easily check if anyone is. There's so many places that somebody could be. It's really very big.

So, you know, they don't see anybody, but I guess they kind of they kind of brush it off. And that night they're getting drunk, watching the news and taking shots every time someone mentions fauci which i thought was funny uh and then some car headlights are approaching mary's uh immediately pretty scared like who is who is that and parker's like maybe it's one of my dad's friends checking on us like they get kind of paranoid sometimes miri immediately grabs a knife i'm like i love this for miri parker's like i'm gonna i'll check and she's like no don't open the door like we don't know who it is someone's ringing the doorbell now and banging on the door they're saying like who is it who is it

person's not responding. Keeps banging and banging and then the banging stops. Parker opens the door. Nobody's there. We see Miri like a couple feet behind Parker with her knife in her hand and we

see blurred in the background someone approaching through the side door that's coming in behind them now that they're not seeing makes a noise they turn and scream and it's DJ Parker's

ex or whatever he is fake out they're screaming at him why didn't you answer when we asked who it is he's on the phone he's like i'm on the phone i'm on the phone and he hangs up his call and he's like sorry that i like came to surprise you like she's like you weren't invited we don't want you here like what the fuck is wrong with you but you know it's like a far drive and it's nighttime. And so they let him stay. Parker is a little pleased that he's there. They're like, it seems like they have a situationship, if you will. It's maybe not fully defined, but she did ask him for some space. And he seems to be thinking that what she actually wants is him to surprise her in quarantine. So she's annoyed, but also like you can tell that she still kind of likes him. And they decide to make the best of it.

They're getting drunk, they're partying, they're smoking weed. Later, they're all getting ready to go to bed. And DJ admits why he's really here. And it's because he saw that Instagram post with this other guy, Blakeake or whoever it is and we're gonna call him blake for the purposes of his of this recap i don't think that was his name but i think it was something with a b so close enough and he dj's jealous of this and says like i just you know who is this guy do you like him and she's saying you know you who is this guy? Do you like him? And she's saying, you know, you need to back off. We were never exclusive. I'm allowed to do whatever I want. And you know, you're not my boyfriend, but it's clear that DJ wants to be. And he's like, just admit like we have something

special here. And she says, we do, but like, I'm sorry you drove all and I'm sorry you drove all the way out here, but I'm not going to tell you what you want to hear and he looks disappointed but he says okay like I'll leave I'll leave in the morning I'm sorry I misread the situation. Miri and Parker go up to go to bed. DJ goes out to grab his overnight bag from his car outside and as he's by his car we see a shadowed figure enter in through the front door that he has left open oh my god and it's directed really well just all the like things happening in the background of shots is so scary uh and they're so they're And they're all falling asleep now. Miri is asleep in her

room. Parker is in her room. DJ is sleeping downstairs on the couch, even though there's certainly one million rooms. And I think we could have found him one. So they're all falling asleep and we see the killer slash intruder man in black creeping around the house, taking each of their cell phones.

Oh, scary. that's very similar to a shot in the rental where it's just Parker sleeping and you see him coming out from the dark corners of the room and just slowly approaching her as she sleeps. It's very unsettling. Nightmare fuel. No, thank you. That truly is like the only thing that I ever really get scared of in my bed at night is like, is there a man in my room? Right, right, right. Of course, of course, it's the scariest thing. I don't let myself, I just simply don't let myself.

I actually think of when I'm walking up and down the stairs. Well, there's usually a man in your room. There's one. That's true. That's true. That's true. And he has the power of Christ on his side. So good luck.

Good luck. Intruders slash demons. Good luck to you. This is just a long con. That's why I married Tim was for the protection. Just for the protection just for the protection no i won't i won't let my mind go there at night i won't i won't let it i won't let it yeah i mean that's why gerald's game is my main thing that i think of when i get scared just

because it's just perfectly like a tall man in the corner watching it. It's really as bad as it gets, folks. So, that's happening here in this house, and all of a sudden, music turns on, blasting in the house. DJ wakes up, goes to reach for his cell phone.

Cell phone's gone. He's immediately scared. He knows something is wrong, but Parker thinks DJ is just being an asshole. She wakes up and she kind of rolls her eyes, irritated, reaches for her phone, also gone, walks downstairs and pretty loudly is yelling at DJ and DJ runs up to her, puts his hand over her mouth. Cause we see that the person she was yelling at was not DJ. Oh geez.

And so he pulls her into another part of the house and it's like, someone is in the house. There's someone here. And he asks where her phone is. She says, I don't have it. I don't have mine either. And he sees a balcony and asks her, can you get down to the street from there? Because I think they're on the second floor. And she says, yes. And he says, okay, you go out that way. I i'll go get miri and here's the car keys we'll meet you down at the car they say okay parker starts climbing down the balcony trellis

or whatever and as she gets down to the ground floor and looks in the window of where miri is sleeping she sees the killer in there starts screaming because dj is not has not made it to that part of the house yet so she's screaming miri wake up wake up miri wakes up just in the nick of time as this killer is bringing the knife down. Oh, my God. About to stab her. She barely dodges it. DJ busts in at this moment, tackles the guy. They're fighting. Miri runs out. Miri's able to run out of the house completely to where Parker is.

They get in the car. They start it to get ready to book it it once dj gets out of the house so dj's fighting with this guy trying to make his way towards the front door and also we see that the tires have obviously been slashed any any killer worth his weight in what's this what's the saying worth his salt worth his wings salt no that is No, that is not it. That is not it. That was the first thing that came to my mind, though, also. So that's at least a common misconception.

Worth his weight. I think we can just say worth his weight. Yeah, we'll slash the tires. I feel like that's pretty... Absolutely. Home intruder 101, you're going to want to slash those tires. So no surprises there there but still sucks dj is fighting with this guy he's again got the knife so dj gets like sliced in the hand but he shoves him pretty good and is able to run out of the room. And now he's in the little foyer where the front door is.

And the killer is running up and DJ grabs this head of antlers, like a, you know, hunted, cut off deer head and fucking slams him with the antlers. It's such a, I've never considered this weapon before, but these are huge. They're like four feet tall antlers, so they're going to do some damage. Definitely. And it does, and so he looks like he's going to

get a chance to escape, but just as he's making his way towards the door, the killer gets up again, stabs him in the thigh. Oof. Don't like to be stabbed in the thigh. We know there's a pretty important artery in there. And so DJ falls and is doing his best to continue to fight back while Miriam Parker outside stressed, like not knowing what's going on. They see the front door is open and they're seeing shadows and trying to make out what's happening but they can't quite see and then the door slams shut because they're fighting and

he gets thrown against the door so it's not looking good for dj the killer gets the upper hand again throws him against the wall and there's like a tapestry on the wall, like a blanket that falls on top of DJ and the killer just stabs through the blanket over and over and over. DJ doesn't seem like he's going to be bouncing back from this, but we go back to Miriam Parker's perspective and the door opens slowly. DJ slowly is coming out.

We're just seeing it. It's, you know, a little little it's hard to see it's through the windshield we're trying to make out what's happening we can see he's obviously covered in blood doesn't look good but he's trying to get out reaching and parker gets out of the car to go help him but sees that his feet are not touching the ground. And we look around to see that he is being held up by a fucking spear. Then the killer is right behind him. Ew, what the fuck?

And so this killer is wearing a mask. Obviously, you can't see his face. Yeah, it's like a ski mask or like a hoodie and a black mask. You can't tell no it's i mean it seems like a man just from their body type but we couldn't say for sure we couldn't say for sure okay but both of the fights we've seen have been with like high school slash college dudes and they've seemed pretty well matched in terms of size. And so, I don't know. Yeah, we're, you know, we don't know for sure. So, Parker screams and runs, gets back in the car. They drive as fast as they can.

But without tires, with flat tires, it's like immediately grinding down to metal. without tires with flat tires. It's like immediately grinding down to metal and gets caught pretty quickly on the side in like a ditch and they don't have enough traction to get out of it. So they're stuck and they didn't make it far enough away. So that killer is right on their tail smashes. The window is trying to like grab them out of the car. They both get out on the driver's side. He's on the

passenger side and they run as fast as they fucking can back into the house and they slam the front door before he's able to get in so um but he's right there i mean he's right on their tail it's not gonna be like and there there's 1 million entrances into this house. So it's, you know, it's, this movie is a nonstop chase scene pretty much from this point forward. And I mean, even before this point, it basically, once it starts, it doesn't stop. And it's just continuous running from this man and him being like right on your tail it's very it's very stressful and pretty scary i mean it's tense and you know like we said it's nice and short so you're just it's just quick and then it's over so okay okay Okay. Okay. All right. Continuing our chase.

They now, Parker leads Miri into a little secret room that she played in when she was a kid. But they don't have enough of a head start to actually hide anywhere. He's literally right behind them, but they're able to lock the door. And so he's slowly banging down the door, but they have just enough time to climb out the window. Parker says, I used to do this when I was a kid. And they're basically walking along the edge of the house. And they're on like the third floor now. They're pretty high up. And it's a wide enough little ledge.

It's not as bad as like Neo in the matrix opening scene shall we say but it's probably a foot or so but enough for them to maneuver around the corner of the house to go into another room but they have time to be like questioning who this could be or why this could be happening? No. They're just nonstop running. No. They're just running, and they're scooting around the side of this house, and Parker makes it to the other room that they were trying to get into, but one of the windows that Miri is passing,

the killer has gotten into that room and smashes through it and knocks her off the ledge. And so she falls three stories down and lands very badly. And she's dead. We're thinking she's probably dead. Parker

runs down to the kitchen now. She's using anything and everything as a weapon. She's using anything and everything as a weapon. She's opening the silverware drawers, throwing like all cutlery at this guy. Vases from the countertops, just grabbing

everything and throwing it at him. She needs a blender. She does need a blender. And there is a blender. They did actually make a blended cocktail in an earlier scene. So Parker didn't use everything you could have, but she's doing pretty well. I was very impressed by her fortitude, her fortitude and her strength. you too and she grabs an ice bucket she oh she throws the vase at his head and he falls to the ground and then she grabs an ice bucket gets on top of him and bashes his fucking head in over and over and over and over and over until you can't even barely recognize a face and she is panting,

gasping for air looking, you know, in complete shock. And like you would, if you just killed somebody unexpectedly. So he's dead. Imagine, I mean,

he looks very dead. Um, and yeah, just imagine going to bed and then waking up and not knowing that you're about to not you're about to kill somebody that would be it's almost like blacking out it feels like you would black out and wait like come to in that moment and be like what the fuck just happened like so much adrenaline pulsing through you yeah and that's what she looks like she's just like and looks up uh it's all obviously like glass windows floor to ceiling glass windows in this house too sorry i can't believe i forgot that detail but she looks up and walking towards

the side door is another man in black there are are two of them. And she's slowly crawling backwards. This man, new man, walks in and drops down at the other guy's side. I think the mask, because she beat his face in, the mask has come off now. And we do see that it is a

guy. But we don't recognize him. And, you know, admittedly, he does have almost no face left. So I don't know if we even would. But the other guy is dressed the same way, head to toe, black mask, don't see really anything but his eyes. And he drops down at this guy's side and starts crying. And so it gives Parker a chance to get away. She basically just runs around the kitchen island out the front door. She runs to where Miri is. Miri is still alive, but her leg is broken.

She can't walk. And Parker's trying to help her for a second, but the guy is now going to turn and come for her. So she tells Miri to play dead. She just says play dead. Play dead. Play dead. Runs into the like trees.

Surrounding the property. The guy does come. And look at Miri. She's doing a pretty good job playing dead. But he's really staring at her for a long time. And maybe like kicking her. And just doesn't seem to be moving from the spot and so parker throws like a rock just to make a sound somewhere to distract him and unfortunately

i guess he's got pretty good hearing because he could tell where it was coming from and he sees her chases her now to she runs to the dock of the lake and some a portion of the dock breaks off like it's not a boat it's almost like a stand-up paddleboard but just part of the dock essentially which i've never seen that before but she's able to just disconnect part of the dock push off she has an oar so she's standing and paddling on this like five by five yeah floating wood plank thing so she's paddling as fast as she can across the lake we see there are lights on the other side of the lake so there's another house over there and as she's paddling she looks back to the dock the guy's gone and it's it's really dark it was the middle of the night and now they're in the

middle of nowhere it's it's even hard for me to see on my television i'm like trying to see what's going on but she's trying to look around and and get eyes on the guy, but can't. And then the knife starts stabbing up through the wood planks. He's underneath the dock. It's this stressful scene of her moving around, but not knowing where to go. He can stab anywhere. And so she's on her hands and knees, which seems like a bad idea if someone's stabbing up from below. But I mean, what's a good idea in this situation?

You know, it's, it's tough. It's not an easy situation. I don't want to judge too hard. No, I wouldn't be. She's doing great.

Parker, you're doing great. Parker, you're doing really great. Considering you weren't expecting him to jump into the water and swim out to you. After just murdering someone. And it's pretty cold. It's pretty cold, too.

Yeah. And so she's on her hands and knees. And unfortunately, the knife does come up right in the middle of one of her hands. So she gets stabbed through the hand. Okay. And at that point, she just jumps off and swims to shore. We can't tell where the fuck this guy is. It's presumably, obviously, he's following her,

but we don't have eyes on him. So she's just running. She's running to that other house that had lights on. Meanwhile, we see Miri back at the house getting up very slowly and painfully, dragging herself into the house and making a splint for her leg. She like breaks off chairs or legs of a stool

and is putting them around her leg with saran wrap. She's doing a pretty good job tending to her wound as best she can, but it looks very painful. In this moment, it keeps, she's, cause she's in the kitchen where the dead guy is. And it keeps showing this guy in a way that's making us feel like maybe he's not dead. It just keeps like showing him with, with this ominous music. And I'm like, oh, motherfucker, this guy's not dead. Go back to Parker now.

She makes it to the house and she's banging on the door. The guy's not answering. She's saying, Mr. Lyons, Mr. Lyons. And he's not answering. So she slides open a window and crawls inside. But she leaves a big blood smear because her hand has been stabbed. crawls inside, but she leaves a big blood smear because her hand has been stabbed. So once the killer catches up with her, because it's the only place to go, so he knows she's obviously run there and then sees the blood trail. And so no, she's in there. So she is inside the house now looking

around for any, for, well, ideally a telephone or Mr. Lyons. Mr. Lyons comes around a corner with a loaded shotgun pointed at her face and is just like, get the fuck out of my house. You're intruding. You're on my property. And she has to remind him who she is. It seems like it's been a while since he's seen her. And so she's trying to jog his memory by saying, oh, your daughter's name is Chelsea. We used to play on the lake. And he finally remembers. And so she's trying to jog his memory by saying, oh, your daughter's name is Chelsea. We used to play on the lake. And he finally remembers. And she's like, someone's trying to kill me.

She looks completely crazed. Obviously, she's wet, bleeding. Obviously, this is an emergency. This guy's not taking it seriously enough. But eventually he's like, OK, OK, yes, yes. Phone's over here. As soon as he turns, he's stabbed and killed. The killer has gotten in the house.

And so that did not work. Parker runs back out of the house. This just continues. And Miri at the house, she's got her leg all splinted and we see the dead guy's eyes eyelids fluttering as she's leaning against the wall catching her breath and he attacks her totally catches her off guard and he's on top of her. He doesn't have a weapon at this point. I think he's trying to strangle her and she is crawling. And because Parker has flung open all of the cutlery drawers,

there happens to be a big old knife just on the kitchen floor. That's within her reach and she's able to grab it and she stabs the guy in the neck. So now he's dead for real. Great. Go Miri. I know Miri and Parker fucking killing it. They're doing a lot. They're really doing well.

They really want to kill them. They really want to kill them. They really are not giving up. I know. Just give up. Who the hell are these guys? Who are they so now parker's running back through the woods again and the killer is so close behind her there's just he's nipping at her

heels and eventually she makes it to the road but he tacklesles her. And it's like, there's not that many people around or there's nobody around anyway. So it's, you know, we're not feeling great, but then we do see some headlights approaching, but this killer doesn't seem to care and is continuing to try to kill her regardless. Um, so as the car gets closer and closer, she's, Parker grabs a, finds like a big log type thing and hits him, knocks him backwards. He's stumbling back, gives her a chance to run to the car. She's waving the car down. Please help me. It rolls down the window a little bit and it's like, oh, my God, like what's going on? Are you OK? Parker's screaming. So this guy's trying to kill me.

Please. I need to like you need to help me. And is trying to get into the car so that they can leave this extremely dangerous place. And the woman is like, wait, wait, wait, let me put my mask on let me put my mask on and she's like fishing around for her mask parker's banging on the window lady let me in and she goes well where's your mask she's like i don't fucking have one and she's like well i can't let you in if you don't have a mask park Parker's like, are you fucking kidding me, lady? Lady's like, oh, I think I might have an extra one. I might have an extra one.

Gets an extra mask out, hands it to her, lets her in the car. As the killer is starting to like regain strength after being knocked out or like knocked back from the log. So he's now running back towards the car and Parker's like, go, go, go, go. And as she sits down in the seat and closes the door, she's like, looks like she's about to pass out. So she's going from a level 10 and depleting like this, this go, go. And then she says this, this mask smells like, and the woman says chloroform. Oh no.

Oh my God. I was going to say any woman in that situation. Unfortunately, I think if that happened to me, if I was driving on a deserted road and a woman jumped out at me covered in blood screaming, I would not stop. No, I know. I know. I wouldn't stop. And I know that that's terrible. I would call 911.

I would say, I just saw something really scary on the road. Yeah. I mean, like, I don't think that I would stop. It would be really, really hard to stop. I mean, depending on some context, there are some context clues, like if it felt like. I'm sure there's some scenario in which i would but for the most part yeah i think your reaction to something that looked very very scary and dangerous would not be like oh get my car yeah get in my car which is so cynical which is so cynical i know i know I know it is dark. I do think I think about this a lot. How our world is not set up to help others. just like well we're all fucked because i feel like in that case people will some people will be kind to an extent if it's like a fire happened and we need to all band together i mean this does

happen and it's like people are generous with like i can uh here's uh supplies from my house or whatever but it's like that only really happens in a short term situation where it's like, oh, we just need to get through this one thing. But like, if it's a full societal collapse, and we're all it's, it's just gonna be it's gonna be a different story. I know, I think about it all the time. Yeah, it's really top of mind. I think about it all the time. It's really top of mind. Yeah, yeah.

Societal collapses in the air, as Timmy Chalamet famously said. Okay, so now we go back to Miri. She sees a car approaching and is kind of optimistic for a second. Like, maybe this is a good thing, but sees pretty quickly the killer in black. And now this woman getting out of the car with parker unconscious so mary hides and luckily they already think that she's dead so they're not in pursuit of her in this moment so they come they do come into the house and they come into the living room and they set up parker on the couch and Miri is hiding in the kitchen behind the kitchen counter. And she has a laptop and she's desperately trying to message 911, like, like text on the computer, but it's not going through the service isn't great out here and so it's just like this very frustrating stressful thing that she's just like fuck fuck fuck doesn't know what to do in this

situation parker comes back to still out of it obviously after being chloroformed but the woman and man are COVID testing her. They're putting a swab up her nose. Great. Okay. We find out their names are Pamela and Jason, which is, I believe, a

Friday the 13th reference. Those are both the Voorhees's names. Jason Voorhees, Pamela Voorhees. I'm pretty sure. So and now they're doing their like evil genius reveal speech now that she's awake. And we're finally getting some explanation as to why this is happening. All right. So Parker's awake now.

Parker's awake, but not in any state to like fight them or anything. So they pull out a phone and they show her, her Instagram post with that guy, Blake. And in the post, they're like kissing ish. And Pamela tells Parkerer you have covid parker and parker says no i don't like i don't have any symptoms and she's like you do and you're infecting people like you're

asymptomatic but you're uh you do have covid and then j is like, and the guy in the kitchen that you killed is our son. What? Is it Blake? She gave Blake COVID? Yeah. So they're like, she's still not she's still not getting it. And because who would? It doesn't make any sense. But then, pamela says yes blake is also their son and a couple days after that he died of covid and uh and now they're this was another son that was with them trying to get revenge so now two of their sons are dead because of her only because of her not because of any choices they made oh my god is kevin williamson like kind of sub-tweeting people who wanted to wear masks and stuff like people who like do you know what i mean like is he like sub he's kind of

it's funny i feel like people were some people were mad about this movie. Like it has a weird anti-mask message. Yeah, it does. It feels like Evan Williamson is an anti-masker in a weird way just because he's making the people who want to be COVID safe, like the villain. Right, right. And I think that's fair to be upset about. But also, I think it, I don't think he's thinking necessarily too much about it. I think he probably was just like, why would someone want to murder someone in the time of COVID? Maybe because they gave them COVID. So I think it was probably less. I mean, I don't know. Maybe he's an anti-mask. That's so... Okay, so now they were so committed to killing the person who spread COVID they're willing to kill her neighbor too? The neighbor

is, that is fair, but she does ask she's like, what about Miri and DJ? They didn't do anything and she's like well, per CDC guidelines you were supposed to quarantine alone. So that's on you. But the neighbor is a good point. That one is an innocent bystander.

An innocent bystander. Yeah. I mean, yeah, their reasoning is insane. And they're obviously not. Yeah. So they are telling her she needs to take responsibility for her selfishness and at this point jason sees the wi-fi router flickering like someone's trying to use the wi-fi that tips them off that someone else is still alive so pamela says what about the other girl

is she did and he's like she's dead and he's like, she's dead. And he's like, well, go check again. So he goes outside, sees that she's not there. And we hear him like, fuck. And so while he's outside, Pamela is still giving her a little like unhinged speeches to Parker. And it's like, you selfish little kids like don't realize. Oh, they say also like we did the tracing and we found out who gave it to you, too. Tyler, we took care of him also. Don't worry.

I'm like, how how would they have done that? Is there a way to do that? Is that in April of 2020? I don't think I don't think that would have been possible. Also, the at home COVID tests tests did not exist another little like this is so tragic this is such a tragedy i know i know i mean it was a a painful time but it's really making people who are following cdc guidelines look insane yeah really making that making them look like the bad guy but i mean mary follows him pretty well

she's wearing her mask a lot and using her hand sanitizer so i think it's less a blanket statement about people that wear masks and more just something that he thought of but maybe i'm making excuses for him i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know okay so pamela is having her little speech little speech bitching it uh parker and we see mary sneaking up behind her while jason is still outside and she has a big wine bottle and smashes it over Pamela's head. Parker gets up. She's kind of back to normal-ish enough to shove Pamela through the glass sliding door. And looks like Pam is knocked out now. Pam.

Doesn't seem like she's dead necessarily, but they just run. They just like, she's unconscious. So we're going to run. And as they are about to make it to the front door, we see a shadow of Jason about to come in the front door. and he comes in and now sees his wife unconscious and runs to try to chase them. Doesn't know where they are. He's looking for them. He goes upstairs and is looking around the room upstairs

and they freaking come out from under a table or something, slice his Achilles, and spray disinfectant in his face, and then knock him over the, like, balcony ledge onto the first floor where the antlers

are, and he gets impaled by, like, all of them. There's a whole bunch of them. There's, like, not a whole bunch of antlers, but you know what I mean? They're like, they're all of them sticking straight through. Yeah. And so you know how easy it is to describe these sorts of things? Yeah. It just comes right to you. It just rolls off the tongue when you're trying to describe someone being impaled

in 10 different spots at once because antlers have little branches. Little punctured, punctured by all the branches. Yeah, but he's definitely dead. This is a gnarly kill. And antlers are making me, I'm interested in them as a weapon of choice. I just haven't ever considered. And you know, maybe they wouldn't be a first choice, but if you're in a situation where things are getting dicey and there's some antlers you know i'm i'm bookmarking that information what if they're attached to your head all the time imagine oh my god henley what if we get you some what if we get you some fucking antlers and your wolverine claws and you will be unstoppable i'll be unstoppable you just try to invade my home you try imagine a guy coming in and you're in your bed and you have a head full

of antlers and wolverine claws on you you know what makes these movies so ridiculous is that they would get a fucking gun. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, that's true. If you want to kill these people this badly, it is easier probably to buy a gun than it is to buy a knife in this country. That's not true. It's easier to buy a knife. But it's very easy to buy a gun.

So antlers and a Wolverine cloth, they're not going to be able to fight off a gun. Antlers and a Wolverine cloth. They're not going to be able to fight off a gun. That's true. If you're coming into my house with a knife, we'll see. We'll see what happens, motherfucker. I need my nasty nightgown. I need my nasty nightgown and my full head of antlers.

Oh my god. I really have a visual. And I love it. You try to come near my children. I really have a visual. And I love it. You try to come near my children. You just fucking try. You're like the ritual monster in terms of just like things pieced together that don't quite fit. Oh man, I love this. Me too.

Me too. That's a symbol of strength for sure. Yep. Yep. Oh God. I like want a sculpture of that. Just to protect a protective thing that I can put in my room. I'm standing in front of a crib.

Yeah. I'm in a nasty nightgown. I have a full head of antlers. A head of antlers. A head of antlers. Full wolverine claws like what's it called? It's like retracted. Wait, retracted.

The opposite of retracted. They're out. They're out. They're out and freaking ready. And they've been sharpened they're sharpened and ready to go oh my god okay so what the fuck happens next tell me what happens next uh so now the sun is coming up they mary and parker are you knowping, walking towards, they, they are making their way towards a shed because the car is not drivable. Uh, and there's a golf cart in the shed, I guess that we just didn't think about earlier. It was, it was tough times. We were, again, we're not going to judge.

It was, uh, thinking flying by the seat of our pants situation. So in the barn, there's a golf cart. We're trying to fill up the gas tank of it. Doesn't have any gas in it, of course. And as they're grabbing the gas, Pamela comes out once again with an ax covered in blood. Now also from falling through all the glass and swings the axe at parker but parker is able to fight her off and like hits her with the axe but just the butt end of it but in this fight is also able to douse her in gasoline that was in her other hand and she calls out to Miri. Miri has a lighter. They were

smoking some pot earlier and Miri lights her on fire and she runs out of the barn burning alive and she just runs down the street even though there's nothing but nothing but grass and lake

around and she just runs down the asphalt street until she dies this bitch has never heard a stop drop and roll and we're glad for that we're glad for that thankfully because she does die and the cops are arriving now maybe one of the text messages went through or something. I can't remember. Or they've just, I don't know. Heard some noises. Yeah. But they're coming.

And Parker and Miri walk out into the middle of the street holding hands as all the cops are coming. And that's the end of the movie. What the fuck was the point of that movie? I really do feel like it was anti-mask. I think I enjoyed it by not thinking about that right i think like we just got to think of it as a slasher set in the time of covid with no agenda right right right right right just like a fun home invasion covid flick i think i i think that's what it was trying to be and i do agree that it has an

unfortunate implication of anti-mask that i'm not sure whether or not was intentional but i'm choosing to believe was was not the point kevin williamson was trying to make okay fair fair we'll give him the benefit of the doubt. Cause I thought it was a fun time. Do you know what? That we're going to bring it back around. That is what's missing in today's culture. Giving the benefit of the doubt.

You know, you see that screaming woman on the side of the street, let her into your car. Give her the benefit of the doubt. That's right. That's right. If we can do it for Kevin Williamson, we can do it for a woman screaming on the side of the street. Absolutely.

Absolutely. And we should all remember that when the electrical grid fails and we are living off the land. Yep. Yep. I've got some things to learn before then. Me too. Me too. Brush up on your local

plants because we're going to be foraging before you know it. Yeah, LA's full of edible plants. I mean, there might be. We're all going to be in Griffith Park. Oh, God. Those are going to be good times.

I can't wait. Can't wait. Okay, well, Emily missed a fun one. She missed a fun one. I was going to say, because we wanted to do a fun one, because we did two tough ones in a row. And this one, I think, is mostly fun with some, you know, little hints of societal collapse that if we think too hard about feel not

fun, but that's not the text of this film. And so we had a good time. Emily will be back soon. Emily, we love you. We love you listeners. Love you listeners.

Not really any voices from this movie. Maybe if I had a mask on, should I say it through my shirt? Because I'm not going to go get a mask. It might not even sound different. But from all of us here at Too Scary Didn't Watch,

goodbye. Bye. Thank you, my friends, for listening to another episode of too scary didn't watch if you had fun hanging with us don't forget to subscribe rate and review on apple podcasts and spotify we're also on twitter and instagram at tsdw podcast and if you're interested in things like bonus episodes video trailer reactions and other cool content, head on over to patreon.com slash TSDW podcast. All right. We love you all forever and ever starting a while ago and continuing into eternity. Adios. That was a hate gum podcast.