Too Scary; Didn't Watch - TALES FROM THE HOOD with Carl Tart

Episode Date: July 29, 2020

A boy facing his monster, a Klansman politician, and an eccentric mortician to guide us through their stories - we're recapping Rusty Cundieff's 1995 horror anthology Tales from the Hood! Carl Tart (The Flagrant Ones, XOXO Gossip Kings) joins us to discuss what it would be like to be eaten alive one tiny puppet bite at a time. (Spoiler: not good!) Follow the show: @TSDWpodcast on Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram. Check out our Patreon for bonus episodes and additional content! Rate Too Scary; Didn’t Watch 5 Stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Emily, Henley, and Sammy. Advertise on Too Scary; Didn't Watch via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is Emily, Henley, and Sammy, and you're listening to Too Scary, Didn't Watch. Hi, everyone. Welcome to Too Scary, Didn't Watch, the horror movie recap podcast for those too scared to watch for themselves. I'm Emily, and I am too scared to watch for themselves. I'm Emily and I am too scared to watch scary movies. I'm Henley and I'm also too scared to watch scary movies. I'm Sammy and I like watching scary movies and I like telling these two scaredy cats about them. Great. She's so brave. That's what that's what we do. how are we what's up a week has gone by if anyone can believe it um i just wanted to give the listeners a little update on my cockroach situation please um after we last talked about it i saw one more the very next day so i was seeing a

cockroach a day for four days in a row which wasn't great horrible um but i set out those little um little houses they call them cockroach houses and immediately never saw one again it worked so well but does it go in there and then you have to take the house out and it has a dead cockroach in it or how does that work no it just takes the poison out of the house and takes it back and kills its whole family with it. Oh, that's dark. Oh, hi! Okay, so it's not so much a house as...

It's a death trap. It's a death trap, yeah. But you know what? Get him out of there. Get him out of there. It works really well. I know. I was like, I feel kind of bad, but also, what are you going to do?

It's cockroaches, you know? Yeah, what are you going to do? And also, You know? Yeah. What are you going to do? And also I found out that like landlords love to call them water bugs. Henley, you told me that, right? I've never heard them called water bugs one time in my life. It's like a sneaky trick to try to make you think you don't have cockroaches. When I was. They're the same.

They're basically the same thing. When I was living in New York before, we would get them and we would get them in our bathroom and our landlord would just tell us they were water bugs. And then he would be like, they're much smaller than cockroaches. A sneaky, sneaky trick. I was like, these are some large water bugs then. Also, like, I don't really care what they're called if they're nasty.

I don't want them. Like, why does that really make them better? They're disgusting. They're disgusting. Agreed. Bugs are bad. Well, congratulations, Sammy really make them better? They're disgusting. They're disgusting. Agreed. Exactly. Bugs are bad. Well, congratulations, Sammy. Thank you so much. Huge news. Big news. What about you guys?

Mine is just actually a request this week. Okay. So, I am moving back to New York and I leave... York and I leave. Boo.

I leave a week from today, actually, or a week from tomorrow. And so I don't. So basically, this this episode will be released just in time for me to start my road trip. for me to start my road trip. And I am driving across country and I would love for anyone's recommendations about things to listen to,

things to do in the car for long road trips, audiobooks, podcasts, music, albums, whatever. Just bring it. I want to know. Good request. It's a good request. Listeners, drop

it in the comments. Yeah. We would love to hear. I mean, everyone can benefit from that. So send us a message. DM us. Leave us in the comments. Leave it in a review. But anyway, I would love to know. Whatever. I love that.

I mean, I hate it it but i love that you asked i mostly hate it i mostly really hate it but it's fine um it's not fine but it is what it is um i poured cement today what or concrete what's the difference? Is there a difference? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. So I have a teeny tiny little balcony off of my bedroom and I've never done anything with it because it's really small and it looks onto my neighbor's balcony

right there and so it's a weird place to hang out, but I can't go anywhere. So I'm like, okay, I'll make that a place that I can feel like I can go yeah yeah so I got like trellis for some privacy but I needed a way to hang it up

anyway I essentially just wanted do you ever start talking and you just wish you had never started talking all the time I don't know whatever here we are so I'm on the edge of my seat okay Okay, good, good, good. So I needed like some weighted poles essentially to keep

the trellis up from falling because there's nowhere I can attach it. So anyway, weighted poles are expensive. That looked up a DIY thing, which is very cheap, listeners. Just a cement planter and a wooden dowel, just like, you know, that's all. A wooden dowel just like a you know a that's all the wooden dowel and you get

concrete mix or cement mix and you pour you make your own little like weighted concrete planter with the wooden pole in it anyway i did it today it's it's setting right now so um tomorrow i'll have my weighted poles which is pretty exciting but I ordered online from Home Depot to do like curbside pickup and I ordered what seemed like the most reasonable concrete mix, you mix it with water I've seen it done, it was like $4

it was like the cheapest option you could get, it looked small on the website it's a 90 pound bag what? that's too many pounds 90 pounds and it's not that big because it's just a heavy thing oh yeah that's true that's true i like went to pick it up in the store and they like put in the cart for me and they rolled over and they're like do you need help out to your car and i was like no because i always say no i'm what am i gonna accept help um no way and i got it out to my car and true i truly was like i i don't think i can lift it out of my car and I truly was like I don't think I can lift

it out of like I like slid it but even that was like too heavy and it was an ordeal I did get it I did get it into my car and then back out of my car at home but like literally just like onto the ground and now it's on my back on my like driveway because I can't move it

so I'll you know cross that bridge when I get to it. I'll keep you posted. Yeah, wow. I want some before and after photos of all of these projects. Okay, well there's no before because I already did it. Why do you keep doing this, Emily? Take some befores.

This happened also with your kitchen, I think. It did. Because you know how I just decide I'm going to do something and immediately do it. That's the thing about me there's no lag time Between the decision and the start of a project For me so but I've never had time to do it before Yeah you gotta jump right in I just jump right in

I'll give you an after and then imagine the before you know Just imagine it I can't wait Thanks But let's get into this week's movie let's get into this week's movie. Let's get into this week's movie. It is Tales from the Hood. Came out in 1995.

Directed by Rusty Kundiaf. Written by Rusty Kundiaf and Darren Scott. Starring Clarence Williams III, Joe Torre, DeAndre Bonds, Samuel Monroe Jr., Tom Wright, Anthony Griffith, Brandon Hammond, and Lamont Bentley. It's a lot of people. A lot of people in this movie. You did a good job. Yeah, it's a lot of people in this movie. And there's one more person on this podcast today because we have a guest.

And we're so excited to have him with us this week. We have podcast guest extraordinaire, Carl's Heart. Oh my gosh, thank you. Welcome. Thank you so much. Hi, Carl. I mean, you're many more things than that, too, but you know, you're on a lot of podcasts. I'm on a lot of podcasts. I gotta stop. I'm gonna, people

gonna be like, I'm sick of hearing this dude, eventually. I gotta start doing podcasts. Well, keep going until it happens. Just keep riding that train. You know know i did this um cbs diversity showcase when i was a little younger and the director i was like hey man if i get in all these sketches all of these agents and managers in this crowd are gonna want to sign me and all that and they were like you don't want to be in all the sketches promise me you want to be in like four or five they started taking me out of and they were like it's too much carl it's gonna be overkill and and i was like what man y'all

blocking my blessings like i was mad how y'all gonna take me out of this sketch i'm gonna leave him wanting more yeah that's the thing so i think i may just go on a podcast sabbatical after this one this is gonna be my last one yeah thank god we got you just in time. I'm moving to New York a week from today and I want to request things. I got some suggestions for you. Oh, please tell me. I'm all ears. First thing to do is turn on Google Maps and listen to the Google Map lady say, turn back around. Don't leave Los Angeles.

Oh, yes. Thank you, Carl. Thanks, Carl. I just mentioned I don't want you to go. That's exactly right. I always discourage people from moving to New York. Have you lived in New York before? Of course not. And never would.

Well, then how can you know? I know. I've been there four days at a time. Yeah, come on. That's the cutoff. It's enough. So I lived in New York for three years and it's definitely different than living in Los Angeles. That's for sure.

Yeah, it's uncomfortable. What do you have against New York? I'm too big for New York. You're too big? I mean, Henley, you are moving into a tiny little place. It's true. Everybody's bumping into me. Everything is small. I just can't fit nowhere.

The train is packed. I mean, it's true that you have to get comfortable with being a lot closer to humans than you are here. What a good time for you. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. I know it's not ideal timing. Obviously, this move was planned pre-pandemic. Have you talked about why on the pod?

Or is that something I should say for after? Why are you going? Oh, so I'm going for work. And then also my fiance is going for school. So he's going to graduate school starting in the fall. So we are moving into a studio in Washington Heights. And it's going to be interesting continuing to quarantine but in a smaller

location right that's definitely the right way to do it you gotta downgrade you gotta downsize in this time that's the way to do it you should have y'all's listeners everybody who uses Spotify make a playlist everybody contribute to it y'all should make a playlist

and give out. Give out the link in the description of this episode so everybody can add a song to it. And it's going to be mostly trash because people have bad taste in music. You know what? It's something to think about. Some conversation fodder like, oh, this song is trash. Don't you think so, fiance? Yes, I do.

I'm going to talk about this in my classes. Yeah. So we can just be yeah i want to be i want you guys to give me suggestions so i can rag on them during let me judge you let me just be like what a dumb suggestion this one was i love it which in and of itself is an activity so it's not not not working yeah i have a question about your cockroaches. Yep. Ask away.

Are they were they big cockroaches like like inch and a half inch and a half style cockroach? They're definitely above an inch. Yeah. I'd say pushing to two inches. That's not a water bug. That's a cockroach. That's a cockroach. Yeah.

I mean, I sent I sent these two photos every time you guys saw them. They were cockroaches. They're big. They're definitely big. They're really big. I don't know. I don't care what you call that. It's disgusting and bad.

Where I'm from, they fly. Oh, my God. I've heard of those. Palmetto bugs. I hate that so much. Oh, that's worse. Yeah. Oh, them flying?

No, thank you. That's awful. Then you have no control over them. They can be anywhere. And you know what they do in New York, don't you? They go, I'm walking over here. And they slap the hood of the car. Honestly, if I saw that in New York, I would be fucking thrilled.

I'm looking forward to seeing that type of absurd behavior in New York City. Yeah, like the rat smoking a cigarette type shit. Well, the actual pizza rat. The rat pulling that huge pizza pizza down the subway stairs that's like three times the size of him. The size of your apartment is that pizza pizza.

Exactly. Wait, so Carl, do you like scary movies? Are you a horror movie fan? No. You're not? I could be a host of this podcast i don't watch scary movies very often uh it's just not my go-to thing uh i watch stuff if friends say hey we're about to go see this thing and i'll be like all right i'll go for the camaraderie yeah sure but as far as like sitting at home being like, oh, I'm about to turn on. So no, I ain't doing that. So if you go with a group and they're watching it, do you enjoy it?

Or would you rather? Yeah, I'll scream and laugh and have a good time. That's fun. You know, it is a fun. It's a fun group activity. Yeah. Big group of movie homies. I went to go see Get Out.

Like that was like a that was a great theater experience yeah when i was willingly you know i went to go see it at magic johnson theaters uh which is now called rave theaters but i went to go see it in a black neighborhood which is what i really wanted to do just because it's a different movie going experience with uh with my people uh yeah all the stereotypes are mostly true i i cannot deny that there's a lot of talking going on there's a lot of you know screaming get out and there's a lot of like it's it was fun it was great it was a great experience laughing but then it didn't got to be a point where people were getting a little bit too performative and they were trying to like get laughs from the

audience in there then people start being like shut your ass up yeah yeah to me that's the best i don't usually like horror movies but um watching them in a group setting is probably the best part of a horror movie experience for sure the getting to feel like the adrenaline in a group um otherwise i, I am right there with you. I do not like horror movies on my own one little bit. It can't be something like I mentioned Saw, but Saw don't have that much

humor to it. It's got to be something that's kind of silly at the same time. Saw is no fun at all. It ain't fun. It's just bad stuff. It's just bad stuff. It's really bad. I've yet to be convinced why anyone

wants to watch a movie that just makes you feel awful. I don't understand. I don't understand. To be fair, we've also had a lot of guests on this podcast and none of them have wanted to do Saw. Even horror fans, you know, we haven't actually had anyone.

Yeah, we're going to have to like specifically do that one. We're going to have to make that choice ourselves because nobody else is jumping to do it. Joel has said that he would do it or at least he wants us to do it. So I might be like, but then that means you're doing it it would certainly be a good one to scare you guys with you would not like it I've heard about one thing in it and I fucking hate it that's the kind of movie

that like I like physically react from even just hearing it like yeah to me scary movies like that are kind of like roller coasters, which I'm popular opinion. I hold. But like, why? You know, I'm I loved roller coasters as a kid.

And now I'm so scared of them. It's it feels like rolling the dice with your life every time. Interesting. Do you have any other fears that you had or do any of y'all have fears that you had that you didn't have when you were a kid that now you have? I feel like everything. I was much more brave about everything as a kid, even up to like more recently, my early twenties. Say something happened in my mid twenties where now I'm afraid of everything except for scary movies. I did the opposite with scary movies. I was scared of them as a kid and now I like them. So I've shifted my taste for fear into

the comfort of my home or a movie theater and real life adrenaline things I don't like anymore. I'm more scared of flying as I get older. I was just going to say. That's the same as me. I've never really been scared. Intellectually I know like okay it's like fine but I get way more uneasy on planes now

than I ever have. when i was a kid i thought turbulence was fun oh god yeah well we getting it in we getting it in right now and now i'm like stop this yeah like i listened to the pilot everybody else is like in their own you know on that got the airpods in and stuff but when the pilot's like i'm gonna smooth flight all the way into new orleans it's going to be three hours and 35 minutes. We're going to run into a little bit of turbulence over Texas. Like, okay, so Texas. So let me get to Texas. What part of Texas? Because Texas

is huge. So like, what part of Texas am I expecting? But you know what the thing is with me and flying? I'm fascinated by it. I wouldn't mind being a pilot right now. But also, I'm growing afraid to fly. It's weird. I wonder if it'd be less scary as a pilot because you feel more like you're in control that's what it is yeah i'm being a control freak

about flying that's why i like to sit towards the front of the plane because it makes me feel like i'm that much like y'all need me to drive like in case in case y'all need me you can tap in y'all need me to get up there what'd you what'd you say cap you need me you need 14 d to get yeah well make sure everything's good i have at least i have at least one moment every flight where i'm like well this is it this is the one that goes down like i'll convince myself for at least 15 minutes that it's certainly 15 minutes is a long time sammy it's a long time to think that you might die it's not that long but it feels like 15 minutes i mean in like a four hour flight that at least maybe 10 minutes are dedicated

to like it's it's gonna happen this is gonna be the flight that goes down yeah I think I'm just more more aware of how bad it would be if I died and more aware of what it would like I like think about if this plane crashes oh that's gonna be a really bad

whole experience like I just like I'm so I just like think about the whole picture more and so it's a lot scarier. I think about the pain. The pain is going to hurt so bad. Oh, interesting. I think about the anxiety as it's falling. When you're like, I'm going to die, I'm going to die, I'm going to die.

Yes, yes, yes. I think this is just like you're becoming more aware of your mortality as you get older. Right. Every little thing. I'll be looking out for it. I look at the yellow signs in grocery stores.

I can't slip. You never know. I might hit my head on something. Can't do that. And that's real. That's more likely than a plane crash. Yeah, that's true. When I was a kid, I'd go over to that oily spot and be like.

And now I'm like. Not a care in the world. Watch out. Yeah. But OK, so this movie in particular, Carl, have you seen it a lot? You don't like scary movies, but is this one like a particular favorite? This was one of the ones that I was shamed as a teenager for not having seen when I was a little kid. So it came out in 95 i was uh

six years old 95 and and so i didn't see it then i wasn't allowed to watch it my i have a very young mom and so she was really young at the time things look probably like 24 and her and her friends went to go watch it because they were young 20 somethings and they were like we're gonna go see tales from the hood and i was not allowed to go with them of course and then i also was not allowed to watch it when it when like my older cousins would get it on like vhs or something like that and so i remember the first time i saw it i was in high school and my friends were like man remember this from this from Tales from the Hood? Like he like made like a reference to it. And I was like, I, you ain't never seen Tales from the Hood? Oh, hell no.

And so we like they went off and then we had to eventually, we had to still had to go to a Hollywood video to rent it. Yeah. On DVD at that point. But like rental, like go to a store to rent it. Yeah. And that's the first time I saw it. And I've seen it about,

it's come on TV a couple of times since then. And I like turned to it because there are some funny moments in it. But I, it is definitely not one of my favorite films. And it's not like, sorry if that was, did I preface that it was one of my favorite films? You didn't know.

No, I asked because I hate this movie. I don't want to talk about it. I'm out. No, I've seen it all the way through twice. Because it is also

funny, right? It's like a horror comedy or no? There are moments of humor. There are moments of humor. Moments of levity. Yeah, there are good jokes in it. Great. Sammy, had you seen it before? I had not. This was my first viewing.

Yeah, I enjoyed it. How do we watch it now if someone wanted to watch it now? Is it on Netflix? Is it on Amazon? I believe I rented it on Amazon. Great. No Hollywood videos anymore. No Hollywood videos. I believe I rented it on Amazon. Okay. Great. I think. No Hollywood videos anymore. No Hollywood videos.

I used to work at Hollywood Video. You did? Really? Yeah. What was it like? Working at Hollywood Video, I used to get reprimanded a lot because I was a slow worker when you had to put the new releases out and I didn't move fast enough. And I would have like a full ass cart at like, we would like close the store like midnight and it would be

like 1143 and I still got like 45 movies to hang up maybe like hey man you gotta move Carl you're sitting here joking you're very funny we think you're funny but you gotta you gotta move so it was a fun job

yeah I really showed them now I am Hollywood Now I am Hollywood Video. I am Hollywood Video. Hey, everyone. It's your favorite time of the week, cocktail hour. This week, we will be making a graveyard, which is a very serious, actually real drink that we do not want to take responsibility for if you actually decide to make and drink. You will see why once I tell you the ingredients. So what goes into a graveyard cocktail is a quarter ounce triple sec, a quarter ounce rum, a quarter ounce vodka, a quarter ounce gin, a quarter ounce tequila,

a quarter ounce bourbon whiskey, a quarter ounce scotch, beer, and stout. You mix the liquors in a beer mug in equal amounts. Top up the rest of the mug with half a beer and half stout. Enjoy! Do we have any trivia about this movie? Sammy, do you have any trivia? this movie sammy do you have any trivia i have just two little things great um clarence williams the third who plays kind of the the the crypt keeper

type characters this is like a play on tales from the crypt which i've also never seen but um he was in an episode of tales from the Crypt. So fun little crossover there. Oh, that's fun. And then there is a segment in this film with some spooky dolls. Mark your bingos. The dolls were later reused in Team America World Police. Because it's the same special effects team. And they had saved some of the dolls.

That's wild. I didn't know that. That is. Wait, dolls are puppets. Were they puppets? They're like kind of clay-ish. Oh, I guess. Yeah.

Because it's kind of stop motion-y. Yeah. Like claymation type thing. Their names are the Kyoto Brothers. Chiyoto Brothers. And yeah. They worked on both movies. So they just threw some of their

like let's get some of these creepy dolls in Team America. And would you guys how scary would you say this film is? On a scale of 1 to 10. 1 not being scary. 10 being very very, very scary. I'd say the real life

scares are quite high. The you know, that's like the thing that when I think horror is best is when it's commenting on real life things and I think it does that here and it is quite scary.

I got some opinions on that but i i will say that uh i was i would give this film i don't say film uh i would give this film i'll give it a six and a half okay yeah 6.5 it didn't get good reviews at the time i mean it's not uh super well reviewed frankly i wouldn't expect it to yeah it's kind of you know it's kind of like uh it's goosebumps feeling i feel like it's kind of like silly and like everything looks very 90s like the effects are it reminded me a lot of Goosebumps. Goosebumps like scared the shit out of me. Yeah, Goosebumps scared me too.

Oh yeah, big time. And that was the TV show was on around 1995. Same time. RL's time. Yeah, but Are You Afraid of the Dark was scarier, right? Oh, I couldn't watch it. I wouldn't even go anywhere near it. There was an episode of that.

Like I was scared of pools for so long. It was something where something came out of a pool drain and it fucked me up. I hated it. Yeah. No. It's kind of campy. It's that kind of campy goose bumps-y. I don't think you're going to...

There's no jump scares or anything. It's not like you're going to be cowering in terror should we watch the trail should we watch the trailer yeah let's roll in this neighborhood is a house where souls never rest you're invited to share their secrets. I've been waiting for you boys.

You're invited to share their tales. Unless, of course, you're scared. Tales of madness. Of revenge. The dolls don't want you there! They want reparation! Of horror. He thinks he needs to kill the monster. Now, your most terrifying nightmare and your most frightening reality are about to meet.

On the streets. And this is a trip, homie. I don't need nothing from the House of Dead, folks, okay? Death. trip homie i don't need nothing from the house of dead folks okay death it comes in many strange from the hood carl now's where we're silent for the whole rest of the podcast if you want to just kick it off for us. All right. Yeah, I'll kick it off. I used to love back to school shopping so much that I would tell my mom that I wanted to work at Staples when I grew up because I just loved getting all the things that I needed that I would use every day in class. I still to this day have nightmares about showing up in class without notebooks or number two pencils, really scary stuff. But luckily I wake up and I realize I don't actually need notebooks or number two pencils

anymore. But this fall there is something that I will be using every day and would be terrified to be caught without. And that's Raycon's best-selling everyday earbuds. I've been trying to go on walks every day, and so I need earbuds that I can rely on to listen to all my favorite podcasts. And I know you guys listen to podcasts as well, so you know what I'm talking about. I got my Raycons in carbon black because that's my vibe, but they come in other cool colors as well, like forest green and brush violet. But my favorite thing about them is the battery life. They stay charged for 32 hours, and they have a new quick charge function. So 10 minutes of charging gets you 90

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So, Tales from the Hood. 1995. It is listed as a horror comedy drama. So it was supposed to be. All the genres. Yeah, that's so many genres. Yeah. So these three dudes who are like gangbangers, they go into a, they go up to a spooky house

that supposedly this guy like claimed that he found some drugs and they are going to like claim to buy the drugs. But what they're actually going to do is steal the drugs from him so they can sell them and and not have to pay money for them. And when they get there, this dude is just being like real, like spooky and weird. And they're kind of like scary. I really liked his performance. It's so funny he's just like wide-eyed big smile very creepy big gap tooth it's great he's really doing it up he's

giving it a great performance and these guys are trying to be hard they're trying to be like you know like we're cool like we're not scared of you but in actuality they are scared because he's a scary dude uh which is commentary commentary ring the commentary bell that is definitely commentary yes commentary on these gangsters they feel like they have to be hard it's okay to be scared gangsters because that might save your life. First commentary of the movie. But they're like, man, can we just get out of here and get the shit? He's like, yes.

Yes, get the shit. The shit. The shit. You're going to be knee deep in the shit. But then he starts being like, well, before we get to the drugs, why don't I tell y'all a story?

Because they stumble upon a dead body and they want to know like it's like a funeral it's a funeral home so it's a bunch of dead bodies in there he's like oh yeah i'll tell you what happened to this guy and that's how they introduce the stories each of the stories yeah okay that's sort of the like uh framework for all of the yeah yes the framework they're doing a pretty flower ah Ah, yes. It's beautiful. But yeah, that's how they introduce all the stories is they

show like a dead body and then he goes into the dead body. So the first story is called Rogue Cop Revelation. And in this story this new rookie just joined the force and he's a black cop and he's surrounded by all these shitty white cops.

And they're going around doing shitty stuff, being cops, being, you know, brutalizers and messing with people. And he's like, I'm trying to I want to change it from within. Like, I grew up in this neighborhood. I want to change this from within. I want to change this from within. And there's this like city councilman who is like, he's been trying to like, you know, make police reform happen.

Uh, like he wants, he wants, you know, defund the police. He wants more house. Yeah. Yeah.

And the, and the rookie cop is Clarence. Yeah. Rookie cop is Clarence. And so, uh, and so he's, he,

he's going around and he's trying to then one night they find him and they pull him over and like three cops come up and the cops of course are like harassing him being like you're trying to get these good cops name soiled like why don't we teach you a little lesson or whatever and they end up beating the dude to death and the rookie cop is like hey stop this stop this and they're like if you want to stop it you can get beat up too basically like like being like we're gonna beat your ass if you keep talking you know how cops do but uh yeah it's fucking scary that is fucking scary and so cops are bad like they they they beat they beat up uh the city councilman they end up killing him and so to frame it they inject

heroin into his arm and then they put us like put him behind the wheel of his car and drive it off of a like a embankment into a river or into a into a body of water what and yeah bad bad bad really bad and then there's like a little time jump and we see that it's like a year later yeah right. Right. And then Clarence. Clarence is all messed up at this point. Yeah. Because riddled with. Yeah.

He's guilty. Guilt and anger. Yeah. He's real. He's real with guilt. He's riddled with anger. He left the force, which is honestly, you got to commend him for that. And I believe there's so many other cops should do that.

Because I'm like, they always say, like, there are good cops out there. I believe them, but you're bad if you stay. Get off. The organization is bad. Yeah, but he's riddled with guilt because he witnessed this, and they've kind of framed him and was like, you're a part of

this, so you might as well, you better not tell or whatever. And he starts getting visited by the ghost of the city councilman. Like being like, avenge me, avenge me. Like, it's up to you. You want to stop these dreams? You want to stop this? Everywhere he goes, he like sees like murals of him and stuff like that. And then finally he gets all these cops to come out and meet him in the graveyard and they all

come out like what's the meaning of this and they're ready like to eat him up too and then they're like we're not gonna like he was like we should at least pay our respects to him like so we could like so he could stop haunting me like let's pay our respect to him right and of course their cops are being like we're not gonna pay no respects i'm gonna piss on his grave he literally says that i'm gonna piss on his grave and so he takes his penis out and starts peeing and morehouse reaches up out of the ground grabs him by the dick and pulls him down grabs him by the dick and smashes his head against his own gravestone he pulls him like over and over and it's a saddenedittal gravestone oh my god then all of a sudden it becomes like a crazy

story like after this like all the cops shoots up out of the ground like supernatural and this was actually the scariest one for me when I was a kid because the makeup on this is really good the zombie makeup that they use on Morehouse is like really good

so creepy yeah he looks creepy. Yeah, it looks creepy as hell. And he just starts basically like, you know, like really getting in their asses. All these cops. Yeah, like one by one. Yeah. Taking them down. Yeah.

Each of them, he just like finds a new way to kill them. Then the last guy, he used hypodermic needles, what they used on him to inject the heroin into him. Yeah. He like picks up a bunch with like telekinesis and shoots them at him. And they all just stuck in there. He like gets like melts into the wall and he becomes like this weird mural on this wall that next to the, like,

does he take the place of class? I think so. Yeah. There was a mural of more house on the wall. Yeah. Um, that I guess the implication is he was kind of like his maybe spirit was trapped in there or something something like that and yeah then because when when when um the last

bad cop is like pushed into the mural or made a mural of then he says like now you feel what i feel or now you are where i was or whatever. Yeah. Something like that. Yeah. And this one doesn't like doesn't have a happy ending. No. Because Morehouse then starts to attack Officer Smith at that point and be like, why didn't you help me when I was getting beat? Right. But he should have. He should have understood.

It's like, man, I can't help. What am I going to do? I can't help you. Right. Right. I would have died. Yeah. It's like, man, I can't help. What am I going to do? I can't help you. Right. I would have died. Yeah, it's five of them and two of us. We all get killed. What are you talking about?

He ends up going into a mental institution and he's accused of killing all of the other cops. Yeah, it ends with him in a cell and they're like, yeah, he's a homicidal maniac. Killed three cops in one night so they like pinned the the murders on him not a happy ending

well is the moral of the story that you can't change the police force from within I think that's safe to say that's what's gonna happen to you Jesus Christ reform from within not gonna happen that is yeah that's that's going to happen to you? Yeah. Jesus Christ. Reform from within. Not going to happen. Oh, my.

That is. Yeah, that's that's really upsetting. I want to see the zombie makeup, though. I'm really curious. Zombie makeup is good. You got to Google that. I'm going to Google it. The next one is called Boys Do Get Bruised.

And it's about a little kid who's like a sensitive dude, sensitive little kid who shows up at school with like bruises and so his teacher and like the guidance counselor the principal is like what happened because they're investigating for child abuse and stuff and he keeps saying the monster like he's like the monsters beat me up they're like all right but if you can't if you don't like who's the monster if you don't tell us right and he says he says my they ask if it's his dad like did your dad do that and he says my dad's dead and so we're like hmm he's like no it's the monster and the monster came when my dad left yeah which is like what's this it's also like kid come on man if you want to get out of this situation right right right you need to talk to us here right and so he gets into a fight at school these bullies uh these bullies

like are messing with him and he gets into a fight and gets in trouble and they see that he got a bruise on his face but that wasn't from that that's how that's how that's found out right and then he's but he's always drawing these pictures and so they're like we draw like you know make people like draw them the people who make you feel bad or whatever, draw them. And so he draws the bully, a school-to-school bully, and, like, crumples

it up, and then it cuts to, like, that kid is being taken away in a stretcher. He broke both of his arms and both of his legs. Yeah, he broke all of his bones from falling down the stairs. So this crumpling up this paper really and he like says that before style like a voodoo doll that you like crumple in it he like says something before like if i draw the monster and burn it that'll defeat the monster

and we're obviously like well that no that's not gonna work but then he crumples up this paper and this kid breaks his arms and his legs and falls down the stairs. What? Another one of the teachers is like, I don't know how he broke both his arms and both his legs in one day. He must have got some weak bones. The boy's got weak bones. What are the chances, really?

Yeah. So, later, his teacher, who was played by Rusty Cundiff, who directed the movie, who wrote and directed the movie, Rusty Cundiff. He's a comedy guy from back in the day. He's been bad a bad fall his teacher who was played by rusty kundif who directed the movie he wrote and directed rusty kundif he's a comedy guy from back in the day he's he's been in a few things uh and he goes to the house and uh he tries to like talk to the mom and be like there's a problem here like your son is showing up with bruises and stuff and like talking about the monster he keeps saying this monster thing and she reprimands him we've seen a little bit of the monster at this point too like we see

the little boy is walter in his in his bed at night we've seen kind of this claw coming out of his closet and heard growls and stuff so we've we've seen it yeah but not fully not fully just like his hand coming around yeah his little hand yeah and yeah obviously the mom is yeah she's like she's afraid yeah which also want him to talk about it another commentary another commentary reading the commentary bell and so the mom is like stop don't talk about it you know this gonna hurt us both basically right because the monster and so then uh mr garvey is leaving that's the teacher's name and then uh her boyfriend comes in his name is carl no relation and he uh he starts you know that he starts talking to him and basically the dude is like

i'll talk to my family like you can like you know being like we immediately get a a bad a bad vibe here you know at that point that this is the monster like yeah he's like i have it under control yeah and so uh he's leaving but little does he know that uh walter has already uh drawn a picture of the monster he drew a picture of the monster because the teacher told him to draw it and so now the teacher's leaving he's like carl has kicked the teacher out mr garvey out and he starts to hit the little kid and then the mom intervenes and he starts hitting her and then the teacher sees this and so he goes back in and starts you know trying to whip that ass and defending the mom and the little boy and

you know the monster's getting the best of him getting the best of him but then yes it's it's it's violent I would say it's like quite a quite yeah he hits them so many times it went on for quite a while I was very yeah wait is the monster like

it doesn't it's no it's just it's just it's played by David Allen Greer. And they, like, specifically cast someone who had, like, only played kind of nice parts before. So, no. It just looks like him. He doesn't look like a monster. It was crazy to see David Allen Greer

in that part. He doesn't look like a monster at that point. But then, Walter runs back in when he's fighting the teacher and fighting the mom. Walter runs back in with the picture and just folds that arm one time. So he's about to get the teacher with a pot and his arm just goes like. Ben's like a noodle. It snaps right back.

And then he starts folding it some more. And they're like, yeah, keep folding the picture. And so he keeps folding it and like, you know, balls it it up and he's like on the floor and like this ridiculous like just like bending i'll get you all the wrong ways this isn't over and then they put the paper on the stove and burn the stove and so he sets on fire and that's when we go back to the funeral home and see he's like see this burnt corpse inside of a... Charred. Yeah. Charred out. Charred out. So that is a happy ending.

Yeah, that's true. I'm also seeing what you were saying, Sammy, where it's like the real life things that are happening are very scary, but then the solution to the real life scary thing is campy and kind of ridiculous

I'm just imagining that this guy being crumpled up is a little silly it is silly yeah um but yeah child abuse is not silly not silly domestic violence is not silly uh so

the next one is KKK comeuppance oh jesus christ and uh this one is this one is the one that we were talking about a little earlier with the puppet and stuff like that so okay basically this dude moves into this house this racist senator who's like a former member of the ku klux klan kind of like a loose david duke yeah his name is duke his name his name is Duke Metger and it's actually a mix of two KKK members David Duke and Tim Tim Tom Metzger yeah so yeah he's definitely meant to be those guys okay mixed together yeah so he moves into this house and like

a bunch of like Jewish and black people like are like, you know, fighting against him. And he moves into he set up an office in a plantation and in a plantation house. And this plantation house has this like has this mural on the wall with all these little pictures with this like one big picture of like a woman who's like, with this like one big picture of like a woman who's like, I guess like a matriarch of these kind of slave people. Right. And, uh, and all the little like people painted are the slaves who lived on the plantation.

And so he's like getting frustrated with everything. And then one night he started, he like smacks the, the picture of the old lady with something. And it starts to bleed bleed the wall starts to be on the mouth and then at that point he's like walking past it and he noticed a blank spot on the picture oh yeah one of one of the dolls is missing we've seen a little peek at the doll like when he first moved in, we saw kind of

underground because he's just talking like super disrespectfully and just like he doesn't give a fuck. He's KKK remember? He's not gay. And we see like a doll kind of come up from underneath the floor boards. Like we've gotten a little

teaser of it. Can you tell me more about what this doll looks like? It looks like a doll? Like a straight up doll? Well, I mean, imagine, I guess, Team America. It's like that kind of puppetry. It's like a kind of clay. I don't know how to describe it. I don't know why I'm fixated on what the doll looks like.

Do you remember Lil Penny from those Nike commercials? Like Lil Penny Hardaway that was voiced by Chris Rock, like back in the 90s? The basketball player Penny Hardaway? I feel like I do. These were popular commercials, Penny Hardaway that was voiced by Chris Rock, like back in the 90s? The basketball player Penny Hardaway? This is ringing. I feel like I do. These were popular commercials, even if you weren't like a basketball fan. But like, mid-90s, it looked like one of those dolls.

Yeah. But it's like Team America style, like. Okay. Okay. Claymation, but also like they were small. They were tiny. Yeah, they're small. They're like, you know.

All right, I'm getting it now. I'm trying to, because I was like like there are too many different types of dolls in my imagination there are too many and if you picture the wrong kind it's really gonna fuck up your whole understanding yeah okay okay got it he takes this doll and they fight the doll's trying to eat him he gets a couple bites in uh but they're tiny little He takes this doll and they fight. The doll's trying to eat him. He gets a couple bites in. But they're tiny little doll bites. He's fighting this tiny little doll. Oh, I forgot that it bites him.

That's right. Yeah. Like, kip, kip, kip, kip. And he finally gets the best of the doll. He attaches it to a dartboard. And he takes his shotgun out and he shoots the doll. That's excessive. It's a tiny little doll.

Yeah. that's excessive it's a tiny little doll and then when he looks when he looks back over at the painting all of the slaves are gone now the dolls are coming for him

the dolls are coming out and they get that ass and they eat him do they really? yeah they eat him do they really? yeah they eat him oh to be eaten so slowly

by a bunch of tiny tiny tiny bites would yeah bad way to go and then the big the woman who was like

big in the picture was like this hoodoo witch named Miss Cobbs and she manifests in the room holding

like the doll the first doll that he shot in her arms so yeah and now the dealers are like this is some bullshit they're losing their patience please let us get our drugs we gotta get out

of here we need our drugs enough with these stories and then he's like one more though one more check out check out this one you guys do you guys recognize this body in this in this court yeah yep and they were like oh yeah i think it's somebody we've seen around the neighborhood a little bit and so basically this is the story of crazy k and crazy k is a is a gang member he's homicidal he he kills people and he's driving down like he's driving down the street in his car and he gets upon he stumbles upon a rival gang member and in the hood is called getting caught

slipping that other dude got caught slipping he's just like out getting a burger or something but his rival is right there and now that dude's like i'm about to kill you and so he goes over he gets into an argument with him and he shoots him and then but three dudes come out of a house and they see this happen i guess they're in the same gang as the guy that crazy k just shot and they come out and they shoot crazy k but then the police arrive and the police shoot those three guys and crazy k survives this whole thing and like goes to jail though because he just shot this dude so he survives the whole thing he goes to jail and he got a life sentence because uh he's

killed a bunch of people they finally like caught this guy he's killed like a bunch of people and so he arrives there and he gets transferred to another like another like basically like in the hole or the shoe or something is what that's called in prison and he meets this uh he meets this white supremacist in there and basically the white supremacist is like you like you need protection in here you might as well join us and he and he said some racist shit to him and and he's like man i'm not about to join you blah blah like you racist blah blah he's like you killed just as many black people as i killed this is the commentary ring the commentary bell but this is the commentary that i have a bit of an issue with we'll talk about this once we get over uh so he punches him in the face and then

like the man asked like what's all the races of the people that you killed and crazy kid gets silent because he's like you you're more dangerous to your people than i am like you're killing yourself blah blah blah and so then this doctor who put him in that cell now taking him around and like she like has like this she's like i have a rehab situation that i can you know make you understand the ways that you've done so she takes him and puts him in like this machine that like ties him up and it's like a torture chamber type machine and yeah i hate that exposure therapy no no no no seeing all these images yeah no not a fan and so like they and then he sees all these images like you know kkk lynchings and and you know gang violence and all

the stuff that he's been put into and like how he kills his own people without thinking about it. And it's like a, like a sensory deprivation chamber. And then he's confronted with all the souls of his victims. Like, like, uh, all these people we kill,

like kids that he accidentally killed in like drive-bys that shouldn't happen. And so like he hints like at how his, you know, violent violence is like, he had a nightmarish childhood, which, you know, happens why people act the way they do and stuff like that. And then like he feels like he got redemption and he gets like zapped back to the moment where he was first shot before he went to jail. to the moment where he was first shot before he went to jail and what it turns out is those three dudes that killed him that shot him did actually kill him and that was all like in his mind everything that he saw was in his mind and they did kill him and then they were then they were killed by the cop and so at this point these guys are like real pissed off.

Back at the funeral parlor. Yeah. And they're back at the funeral parlor. And they basically, Mr. Sims, Clarence Williams. Mr. Sims, yeah, yeah. He's like, you guys did this. Yeah, go look in this room. Yeah, go look in the room. And they open up.

They was like, we need to get these drugs. Oh, shit, I gave away something. We need to get these drugs. And they pull out guns. They pull out guns. And they're like, we need to get these drugs. You bullshit, Mr. Sims. And he's like, well, all right, the drugs are all in those three caskets right there.

And they open them up. And each one that opens them up, they realize it was them. sims says this line that is like the the uh basically the line that was the iconic line from this movie like after you killed crazy k a few of his boys killed you and i was like everybody used to say that all the time so if you quote anything you quote anything from this movie you can say that after you killed crazy k a few few of his boys killed you. And so they find out that they're dead and that this place that they're in, this funeral home,

is hell. And Mr. Sims is the devil. Holy shit. It's like so it was so unexpected for me where he just is like he says, welcome to hell, motherfuckers and he morphs into like the typical satan like horns sprout out as the walls fall down and like

fire it's like they're in like flaming hell and he becomes like a huge satan man and that's the end of the movie yeah oh my god they didn't even know they were dead. They thought they were still alive the whole time going to get these drugs. But what it actually was was them going to hell. Oh. Because they killed.

That's also fun that at least for like a short while, Satan's idea of a fun with somebody is to be like, I'm going to make them really bored. Yeah. And I'm going to just, I'm going to see how many stories i can tell them before they

get really mad about it mr sims was a real highlight for me i really liked him wait what wait so carl what's your commentary i want to hear your commentary well it's something that we're kind of just discovering now not discovering now but kind of like is more open now but there's this you know the the the reason why violence is a thing in america's poor neighborhoods or ghettos or whatever you want to call them and stuff like that it's all because of the system that is already set up and stuff like that so i really hate this this and this isn't saying it's exactly but i really hate the blaming it's almost victim blaming in a way yeah like I'm not trying to say that people who murder people should not be held accountable.

Right. But that's not a quote. You can't equate that with like a racist KKK person. Exactly. And it's like this whole, like, and I hear black people say this a lot of this, like,

we can't expect justice until we stop killing ourselves. And it's like, well, let's stop saying that. Right. Because that doesn't mean like, well, let's stop saying that. Right. Because that doesn't mean. That's what they want you to think. Yeah.

Everybody kills themselves. Let's stop. Everybody does this. Black on black crime is not a real thing. It's just. It's the same thing as white on white crime. The same thing as Latino on Latino crime. It's the same thing.

It's all the same thing. So let's stop saying. Yeah. Yeah. We got to stop killing ourselves for them to respect us because they don't treat white killers the same yeah right like also that's it didn't start there like that's not the origin of all of the problems that we're having yeah when you when you when you take every resource out of an out of a place and everybody is desperate of course they're gonna harm each other so like because they're desperate so you know that's the commentary that i'm like we gotta we gotta

stop pushing this narrative of right we gotta stop killing ourselves to earn a little bit of respect no they have to respect us yeah yeah the two are they're related but they're not yeah they're not one doesn't like uh yeah the same. One doesn't, like, yeah, invalidate the other. Yeah. Well, it's also impossible for individuals to change their situation if the system that they're living in makes it really difficult to do anything differently. Right. Yeah. And, yeah, there's just, oh, my God. yeah there's just oh my god there's no like individual's responsibility to like if you're just calmer or if you're just you know if you make better choices on an individual level the

entire system will be better forever like no yeah it's literally not true right yeah oh man this was honestly i was not expecting that ending. I wasn't either. I'm shocked. I was shocked. We don't spoil the movie. You know what's happening now. You know what's happening in the future. That's the only way they'll watch them. I like to know

if I'm going to go in. I hear it and then I go, can I watch it? Okay, maybe I can. They still never do. I go, can I watch it? Okay, maybe I can. But then they still never do. I never do. I do sometimes. I do sometimes. Oh, that's true.

She watched Hereditary a little bit. And I watched Us also. After we talked about it? After we talked about it. Okay. Did it help you to know what was coming? Definitely. Definitely.

All right. So two out of the 49 movies with that we've done not bad good track record that's what i haven't seen i bought a ticket i bought a ticket to it just to support but i have not seen that movie and i don't plan on it did you get too scared you know yeah i Get Out, of course. And that was more like I felt like that one had like a lot more commentary. That was like one that I felt like I needed to see a little bit outside of the scary parts. But Us was just like scary.

I was like, all right, I'm good. I'll buy the ticket. I went on Fandango, bought a ticket, but I'm not watching it. We were trying to like derive meaning from it, too, when we did it on the podcast where we were trying to like derive meaning from it too when we did it on the podcast where we were trying to figure out what the commentary could be and it's so ambiguous and there

are so many things you can draw from it which is kind of fun I like movies that are like that yeah it's kind of like a Rorsach test I can't say that word that's a tough word where any any you know it says more about you um and how you see it than anything else right but um i had to watch it after hearing about it and i watched it in the corner of my computer the top

corner during the daytime so i could yeah because it also minimizes it at any point. I mean, Get Out is scary for sure, but Us has a lot of stabbing and scissors and a lot more classic scary stuff that I'm not trying to have any part of. It is scary, but it's good.

Eee! So they did make a Tales from the Hood 2 or they're going to make a Tales from the Hood 2? I meant to look that up. I know there is a Tales from the Hood 2, but I think there might even be a 3 coming. I saw that it's maybe they're trying to make it a TV series. But, you know, I didn't really look this up enough. I'm sorry.

So I can't say for sure, but I think they are trying to make something. I would be really interested. Another chapter. What a 2020 version would look like, because I do feel like, yeah, that one story, the commentary in it would probably be different made now than in 1995.

Yeah. So I would be curious to see what vignettes are shown. I just like these kind of anthology horror things in general I've never seen it I've never seen one I know there are other ones that like this like I know VHS does this but I kind of just like this style of horror films where

it's like you get four horror films in one I'm into it and so yeah and they're all you know they got their scary moments they got they're not all like just like straight dog trash. Yeah. Like them. I think, I think a lot of these movies get lower rated because like, frankly, a lot of

the critics, these type of movies don't speak to them. Right. And I don't think this movie was a 10 out of 10, but it definitely deserves better than a four. Like, what does it have on Rotten Tomatoes? Yeah, it's low. And I, yeah, that's why I like went into it being like, oh, it's like rated so low. And I was, I had a good time.

And I was so like, I was really excited at the end. I was like, this was, I had a good time watching this. This is a Rotten Tomatoes problem though, Emily. This is a Rotten Tomatoes problem. Because my God, we watched um what's that fucking movie called the old guard the other day rated well on rotten tomatoes and it was one of the least fun movies i've ever and not because it was so bad it was just so deeply bad and i was really pissed off well isn't i feel like i was lied to isn't the rating system on rotten tomatoes it's literally

just like white men in their 30s? Basically. That's the world. That's the rating system of the world. And the one black guy that always pops up is from a conservative magazine. No! From like the National Review or something like that. Yeah, fuck that.

So, no. We gotta start a new rating system, you guys. So, it has here the tomato meter is 47%, but the audience score is 68. That's where I would land it. I would give it about 68 to 72. That's what you said. You said 6.5. Well, I guess that was on the scary factor.

It was a scary meter. On the good meter, also a 6.5. 6.5. Great. Just as scary as it is good. It's just as scary as it is good. And you know what? I sort of need those to line up in

any movie. If it's not so scary and not so good, I'm not going to watch it. If it's really scary, it better be really good. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I do know what you mean. So. Well, we did it, guys.

We did it. This has been my dissertation. We did it guys we did it this has been my dissertation we did it Carl's last podcast before I moved to New York his final one um but Carl do you have anything to you know of your own to promote or

yeah in this time hey if you like basketball and and goofs uh there's little basketball talk, mostly goofs. Right now, basketball is in a weird transitional period because of the coronavirus, but it's coming back now. So there'll be a little bit more stuff to talk about. But also, I host a show called The Flagrant Ones with Hayes Davenport and Sean Clements of Hollywood Handbook, which is another pretty popular podcast.

And it's on Patreon. So please reach into your stimulus packages and give me your five dollars. And it's fun. You'll have a good time. You don't have to worry about it being too sporty. And if it is too sporty for you, then you can stop subscribing. There you go. Look, we all have the

power of choice. But other than that, follow me on Instagram. I deleted my Twitter. Twitter sucks. But at, damn it, Carl. D-A-M-M-I-T-C-A-R-L. Is basketball coming back soon? It is, yeah. The scrimmages just started yesterday and

the real season starts on the 30th next week. Oh, wow. Wow. But for no audience, right? They're like quarantining together, right? Yeah, they're quarantining together. Wow. What a fucking world. I know. I can't believe it. Wild times. Well,

until next week, we'll all just be doing the same fucking thing. Unless you're a basketball player, in which case you're probably going to have a pretty exciting week all things considered our big basketball playing audience baseball players yep

most of our listener base are professional athletes so good luck boys this next week Carl thank you so much thank you so much that was so good and i got one last thing to say to you guys after you killed crazy k a few of his boys killed you oh no he's the devil oh crap hi guys sammy here thank you for listening to another episode of Too Scary Didn't Watch.

Don't forget to check out Carl's podcast, The Flagrant Ones, on Patreon. And if you're liking Too Scary Didn't Watch, please subscribe so you don't miss an episode. And you can also support us by rating or reviewing us on Apple Podcasts, and following us on social media. We are at TSDW Podcast on Instagram and Twitter. And next week is our 50th episode, so we asked you guys to tell us what the scariest movie you ever saw was, and the movie that got the most votes was Sinister. So if you want to watch before next week, it's streaming on Netflix. And yeah, we have an exciting announcement for our 50th episode. So tune in next week.