Too Scary; Didn't Watch - THE DEVIL'S BATH

Episode Date: July 10, 2024

Zero baths, endless tears - we’re recapping THE DEVIL’S BATH! Get ready to feel bad!! We love you and we hope that makes up for what you’re about to listen to ❤️Movie stats @ 12:50Recap starts @ 16:03TW: Suicide, self harmFollow the show: @TSDWpodcast on Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram.Check out our Patreon for bonus episodes and additional content!Rate Too Scary; Didn’t Watch 5 Stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Emily, Henley, and Sammy.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is Emily, Henley, and Sammy, and you're listening to Too Scary, Didn't Watch. Hi everyone, welcome to Too Scary, Didn't Watch, the horror movie recap podcast for those too scared to watch for themselves. I'm Emily, and I am too scared to watch scary movies. I'm Henley, and I'm also too scared to watch scary movies. I'm Sammy, and I love watching scary movies, and so I watch them so that you don't have to. And we've got a bleak one today. Oh, man. And we've got a bleak one today. It's going to be tough.

And if you just want to get straight to it, there are timestamps in the show notes, so you can jump straight there. Because we've got a little bit of haunted housekeeping to take care of. It is, after all, El Chela. It is El Chela. It remains El Chela. The best summer of our lives.

And I got to say, the gifts keep on giving. I had to miss our bonus episode on Patreon. And from the comments and from my very cursory Google search, I have never been happier. I feel like. I was genuinely happy for you. That's how yeah, it's good. It's really good. You weren't there for you. Our bonus episode was we need to talk about Kevin that's available on our Patreon and I was truly in watching it just thinking, Oh, no, Henley is really gonna have a tough time with this one can you believe i missed that one can

you believe it it wasn't even on purpose it was 100 not on purpose genuinely really sick illness body saved you yeah yeah wow it wasn't it wasn't my body you guys it was hell chela it was the gifts of hell chela of course of course obviously Speaking of the gifts of Hellchella, in case you haven't heard, we also now have ad-free episodes available on our Patreon. And every episode for the entirety of Hellchella, all of June, July, and August, will be available as video episodes on our Patreon, including this one.

Including this one. And I did remind you to record the video portion and then immediately do the biggest yawn of my life as if i so maybe that made it in the video episode if it did sorry guys we do sometimes forget that we are recording video so often i would say often but if you're interested in watching it, it's there. And we are also doing one live show a month on our Patreon. We just did Abigail with Paul F. Tompkins. That's still available for replay on there.

This month, we will be doing Long Legs on our Patreon. Not sure of the date on that yet. Stay tuned. But Emily, why don't you tell us about our live show that anybody can attend? Oh my gosh. Well, and anybody can be a patron. I'll just say that. But anybody and everybody, patron or otherwise, can join our live stream show on Moment.

We have done shows on Moment in the past. They've been super fun. We are going to be recapping Maxine, maybe, on Sunday, July 14th at 4.30 p.m. Pacific, 7.30 p.m. Eastern. You can join us live.

The show will also be available for a week after the fact. So if you buy tickets, you can still watch it as a video for that week after. And you're going to want to watch it because we're going to be joined by Betsy Sodaro. Yay! Can't wait. I can't wait. So excited to have Betsy back. She's the best in the world. And

it's going to be a really, really, really good time. i somehow for some godforsaken reason i'm going to see maxine what what am i thinking i keep being like what well you've seen x and pearl i feel or no you haven't seen i've seen pearl but i've only seen x after we did the recap oh okay true okay. True. Like, I'm really scared. But it just sort of happened. When you said that, Sammy, I was like, wait, she saw X and Pearl? Wait, who the hell is Emily right now?

I don't even know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I can't wait. There might be some eye covering and ear plugging happening in that theater. But I will also be there to fill in any gaps. You'll be there.

Betsy will be there. Also, you're going to get to see everyone so dolled up. It's going to be the most beautiful of all the movies. I do love to look at me a goth, but will I even be able to do that? Maybe not. We'll tell you about it. We'll tell you about it on the 14th, 4.30 p.m. Pacific,

7.30 p.m. Eastern. We haven't had Betsy on in a little while and it's going to be really, really fun. Yeah, I'm thrilled. I miss her. Miss her. Me too. Miss her. Love her. You guys, now that we've gotten all that haunted housekeeping out of the way, I gotta know, did anything scary happen to either of you this week?

You go. You go. Well, I guess it's a little bit of i hate to bring down the mood at halchella a little bit of a just an update oh no convict is no longer with us for those who've been listening i mean what happened was she was ancient she she's all it's all she got put down our neighbor who has been like most sheila has been like living in the driveway between my house and her neighbor's house and she's been feeding her and she wasn't really eating so she took her to the vet and they she had cancer yeah very very old

she was very old she didn't look to be doing great no she didn't look to be doing great. No, she didn't like to be doing great. And she did live so much longer than we ever imagined possible. And she, boy, did she have a great final year of her life. She knew exactly what to do. She's decided I'm going to nestle into this yard where I'm going to get fed and I'm going to get pets. And, um, I think she really had a great time. We had a great time having her here. It's very sad having her gone. I loved having this little creaky old dusty thing in our driveway.

It was a real treat. How old do we think Convict was? Do we have any guesses? 98. It's really hard to say with cats because they get worn down by the elements. I was going to say an outdoor cat. I know, an outdoor cat.

A whole different ballgame. She was looking rough. But Joel has lived here for 13 years and swears that she's been here the whole time. So 13-ish, 14 perhaps. Good long life. Good long life for an outdoor cat. So she went with the spirit of Helcella, you know?

Helcella giveth and Helcella taketh away. It's true. Oh, convict, we'll miss you. We love you. We'll miss you. Love you forever. She was powerful. She was powerful.

There was a real presence. So gone but not forgotten, you know? Okay, so my scary thing is just reflecting on this morning, which was I guess baby Mae woke up at 5.30 a.m., which is like standard for her. But what's not standard is then Silas woke up quite quickly afterwards. So then I had both of them at like 5.55 a.m. And I was like, oh, such a long morning ahead of us. What shall we do? And so I turned on Adele music videos.

So I watched a lot of Adele at like before 6 a.m. this morning. We watched Hello. We watched Send My Love to Your New Lover. Is that what it's called? We watched so many. And every time I kept thinking, because have you guys watched an Adele music video recently? Can't say that I have. I haven't watched any music video recently.

Okay. Well, not a lot happens in them. It's mostly Adele sitting and singing and looking upset. And sometimes there are other people who look upset. And a lot of times it's black and white. And a lot of times it's pretty slow moving. Really toddler friendly. You're really seeing a lot of roses lose their petals.

You're seeing a lot of plants wither and then grow back again. Sure. Okay. And so I was fully expecting both of my children to lose interest immediately. They did not. Silas was rapt and asked for more every single time. He wanted more Adele. He wanted more Adele, more Adele every time. So we watched a lot of Adele music videos this morning. So that's what we did.

It could be worse. No, no, absolutely. No, it's actually, it was a delightful morning. It was great. It was great for me. Great. And great for Adele's views on YouTube, because I'm sure she's worried about that. A really good morning for Adele. She noticed. She said, but 4 6 AM. When is she going to come out with more music? She said, Connecticut, really picking up.

They're not usually watching me. Are you seeing what's going on over in Connecticut? Anyway. Okay, Sammy, what about you? You know, not a lot scary happening over here. I will say that I got my first mosquito bites of the season. Those motherfuckers. I'm pretty upset about it. I, you know, at regular time, it was sunset time.

I was near a pool really asking for trouble. Yeah. And I only got three bites, so it could have been worse. But I used the bug bite thing. I've told you guys about this. Do you guys have this? No, but I should get it. It really-

I would like to get it. It really works at first so i used it last night that you have to use it like as soon as you can after getting the bites basically it's a suction device that theoretically sucks out the saliva because that's what you're reacting to and it worked perfectly last night i had no itches at all but then this morning i just have the big red bumps but they're still not too itchy so i think it does like make it better okay but they're just so gross i just hate henley don't even talk to me about how you have never been bitten by a single bug in your whole life i was i was debating as i normally do whether to mention it or not. Usually I err

on not mentioning it and I wasn't going to say anything. But since you bring it up, it's my annual reminder that I freakishly don't get bug bites. So science needs to study my body. Seriously. They need to take whatever's in my body and they need to distill it down and sell it at Whole Foods. Why is that not happening? I'll pay any price. Any price. Maybe this is my- You can sell it at Whole Foods. Why is that not happening? I'll pay any price. Any price. Maybe this is my get rich quick scheme right here. Breaking your own body down for science? If anyone knows any scientists out there.

If anyone, anyone listening knows a scientist. Let us know. I don't know. Henley, I think you do get bit by bugs, but I think you just have non-reactions to them. No, I definitely get bit by them because I feel mosquitoes bite me. But that must be boring for them. You know, so they probably tell the other mosquitoes,

like, I don't even bother with her. She doesn't even react. No, no, I do feel it. If you go to this woman, she'll freak out. She brings out a suction cup. It's a whole thing. You've got to see. You've got to see.

It's like Not Scary Farm or like Haunted Houses on their Target. Leave her alone. Leave her alone. Go to this one. Go to this one. This one freaks out. I definitely feel the bites. It's just I don't have any like reaction to them.

I never get any red spots. Oh, I feel like one just looks at me and I get red spots. Yeah. I know. Same with Tim. Same with my mom. Same with everyone I know. Tim and my mom.

Extremely jealous. must be nice anyways you know what i'm not jealous of an excellent segue it's you guys having to hear about this movie for the first time oh my god or what happened to the people in this movie also not jealous of that probably right yeah i'm also not jealous of that because this week's movie is the devil's bath doesn't sound like a place i want to be no it doesn't sound great as much as i love a bath are we about to ruin baths no No, I don't think so. Okay. God, I hope not. No, baths will remain sacred. The Devil's Bath is currently streaming on Shudder. It was written and directed by Veronica France and Severin Fiala.

You may remember them as the writers, directors of Goodnight Mommy and The Lodge. Oh, no. No, thank you. The presence of children is pushing on me. It's starring Anya Plask, Maria Hofstetter, and David Scheid. Yeah, there are some cute stuff.

Great. We got out of one, Henley, but you're still stuck with us for the most part. I think we need to talk about Kevin. It's tougher. So it's the lesser of two evils, but it's okay. Tim just brought me a mezcal Negroni. Apples and oranges, you know. I'm going to be fine.

Yep. Great. The Devil's Bath has an 89 on rotten tomatoes 71 on metacritic and a 6.9 on imdb nice nice nice no budget um information it is in german they are austrian directors i don't know if this has a theatrical release. It premiered on Shudder. And I think it might just be like a straight to VOD thing. There might be like a select few theaters where it's playing.

I didn't actually look that up. But anyways, all that to say, it's not raking in the dough at the box office. Sure, sure. That number is happening behind the scenes when they're inking deals at Shudder. Got it. And not much trivia for it either, other than this that I thought was quite interesting, which is that the lead actress, Anya Plushk,

is also the composer for the movie, and the music is really good. Oh, I love that. Whoa. That is very cool that's not a duo you often know no certainly not on the same film either i mean i guess i've never seen it at any capacity but like i could see how someone would be you know into acting and into composing but like i would imagine that doing both on the same project would be quite taxing. But she did a great job at both.

Wow. Good for her. Cool. Very impressive. So I think we should watch the trailer at the end. So it will not be included in this episode. But you can watch it on our Patreon at patreon.com slash tstw podcast but i think we should just get straight into the devil's bath let's do it let's just get

right into the devil i want to get in let's take a dip let's take a dip in the devil's bath in the past few years i have hit a point where i only want to be wearing clothes that are comfortable it happened it happened to me but you know what i still also want to look cute and these are two desires that are often extremely opposing and i don't want to have to sacrifice i want both i want comfort and i want to feel cute and confident. And guess what? Skims has freaking done it again with their soft lounge collection. I am currently very, very obsessed with, I have the soft lounge tank and boxer set. Okay. This tank, it's a great little rib tank. Classic. You can wear it every day. You can pair it with jeans. You can wear it out in the world, or you can wear it with this little

boxer short that is so comfortable. It is super, super soft, lightweight rib. They're great. I also truly have been for years stealing Joel's boxer briefs to wear as sleepwear and loungewear. And guess what? That ain't cutting it. I'm not feeling too cute in those. I'm not feeling too comfortable. But Desperate Times, however, Desperate Times no more because skims has done it you too can get on board with this you can see just how cute and comfortable you can be shop the skims soft lounge collection at skims.com now available in sizes extra extra small through 4x and if you haven't yet be sure to let them know that we sent you after you place your, select podcast in the survey and select too scary, didn't watch in the dropdown menu that follows.

If you're a new parent, a bad day means you either ran out of coffee, diapers, patience, or all of the above. Stocking up on cold brew and deep breaths are all you, but at least Hello Bello's got your baby's butt covered. Hello Bello believes all families deserve premium, affordable baby products. With their ultra-convenient diaper bundle subscription service that includes 7 packs of diapers and 4 packs of plant-based wipes, you'll never run out of supplies, ever again. Better yet, they're delivered to your door. Set, change, and cancel your delivery schedule

whenever you want. And these designs are so cute, you guys. I did not think it would be possible to be jealous of a diaper. Name best diaper subscription by New York Magazine and winner of the 2022 Good Housekeeping Parenting Award, Hello Bello will keep you well-stocked on dipes and wipes. Go to hellobello.com slash too scary to get 30% off your first customized bundle and a full-size freebie product of your choice. That's hellobello.com slash too scary to start bundling with 30% off your first order. Don't forget that's hellobello.com slash too scary. I will give us a trigger warning for suicide and self-harm. We begin with some text that lets us know that this movie is based on historical records in upper austria in 1750 which is true it's not one of those like based on true events yeah i was gonna say

fargo yeah and we see a baby crying and crying and crying crying and crying and crying, crying and crying and crying, not dissimilar to we need to talk about, Kevin. And a mother comes, presumably the mother, I guess we're not sure, but a woman comes and picks up the baby, is kind of bouncing him, trying to get him to stop crying. Won't stop crying. She just walks through the woods.

The color palette is very drab. Think of the witch. Feels like very brown everywhere. Muted. Dreary. We weren't really doing pops of color in our wardrobe in 1750. No, not so much. And it would have really helped my spirits in watching this movie

if someone was just in some hot pink somewhere. Could be nice. Just a little something but just a little something just a little something a red lip perhaps a fun scarf why not does she put the baby right into the devil's bath in a way she does that's not what you wanted to hear is it i'm just waiting i'm just waiting she does stroll through the forest. She looks pretty certain about where she's headed. She's following a path, and she walks right up to the top of a waterfall,

and she stands there for a minute. And again, sorry to keep bringing up when you talk about Kevin, but there is a moment where she seems to have like a moment's peace because the volume of the waterfall is louder than the crying baby and so she's kind of tuning out the baby cries for a second and looking like this little peaceful look washes over her but then she still just tosses the baby over the edge of the waterfall. And we see in a wide shot, it like hits all these rocks on the way down. It's that baby's dead. Yeah.

I mean, that baby was gonna be dead in case we were thinking maybe it'll land in the water and, and get be carried. Like a Moses in a basket situation. Yeah. Not this baby. Just a little mythical magic baby moment where it's totally fine.

Great. That's a great way to start it. I love that we started this way. We get our title, The Devil's Bath, and we get a quote that says, As my troubles left me weary of this life, it came to me to commit a murder. I will say this movie is very slow. Really feels like we're in the 1750s. I feel like their attention to detail was,

it's really impressive. It feels so freaking bleak. I'm so happy it's not 1750s. Like I was just like feeling so blessed pretty shitty in other ways but we do have pops of color we do have pops of color we do have fun scarves we have many colors of lipstick exactly women have way more freedoms women have everything scarves and lipstick for now yeah yeah it's better now though it's better now it's not perfect or better and in a lot of ways it's still quite bad but it's better but it's better no i'd take it i would take this definitely better so

we meet our main character agnes she is singing a hymn while she's making a little crown out of berries and twigs and we see her collecting dead bugs she or she has like a little dead bug collection you know like butterflies and grasshoppers and stuff and she seems to lay them out very lovingly on her table you know like a like a bug collection like you do and she's gathering those up and we see her mother and brother helping her pack all her things into a wheelbarrow and rolling it into a different town so she is moving to another village how old is she i mean it's 1750 so she's probably like 19 but she looks 39 she looks to be in her mid to late 30s but i'm guessing but in 1750 that probably was like mid life right like oh i think it was later in life.

I think that was. Yeah. Later than mid. I think probably. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I feel like. Damn.

People probably died in their 60s. Right. Oh, yeah. Oh, earlier than that. Yeah. Yeah. So 19 is. I think.

I think you were saying 19. Oh, I thought you're saying 39 is. Yes. Yeah. No, no, no. No, no. 19 is. Yeah.

39 is old. Extremely old. Got it. Yeah. Yeah. 39 is yes yeah no no no no 19 is me yeah 39 is old extremely old got it yeah but we see her moving to this new village and she is getting married so we are learning that she's leaving her family to join this new town and uh the ceremony seems very joyful people are carrying her around music playing a little fiddles and whatnot. It seems like everybody's having a great time. I was about to be like, fiddle, piccolo. What are those instruments they're playing then? No saxophones.

Organs. No electric guitars. Triangle, perhaps. Maybe some triangles. Accordions. I feel like there's maybe some accordions accordions i think yeah uh and part of the ceremony is she sits in this chair and her new husband's mother so her mother-in-law dresses her in these kind of maternity looking clothing and gives her fake baby and i'm guessing this is supposed to be something that's supposed to be like a good omen to bless you with fertility and a and a big family to come because obviously this is a time where it was like you have to have children there's not a really another

type of way to live your life which is pretty crazy and another part of this wedding ceremony is there is a chicken sitting in a hole in the ground a live chicken a hen i guess that looks like it's laying eggs essentially in the middle of this little field and it's almost like pinata like they have these nunchuck looking things that they're swinging to try to kill the chicken but they're blindfolded so they get spun around and they're just trying to kill this chicken oh my it's really upsetting but they again are having a grand old time somebody eventually kills it all the animal deaths look very real in this i presume they're not because of laws probably not yeah in 2024 but they did a really good job making them seem real so now the ceremony has moved to like the after

party so everyone's at the pub or whatever and her husband her agnes's new husband pulls her aside and says i have something to show you his name is wolf and i don't i don't like that uh it's like wolf wolfgang it's a popular german name well austrian i suppose and they he takes her to show her their new home he has purchased this little stone cottage that will be just for them she's immediately very stressed about the price of this. How did you afford this? And he's saying, you know, you didn't think we were going to live with my mother this whole time, did you? Like, we're a married couple now. We need our own space. basically all of his money, all of the dowry that he got from marrying her, and he borrowed

like another $300 or something. And she seems really stressed about this. Like we're literally never going to be able to pay this back. He seems like not a care in the world. What are you freaking out about, Agnes? This is going to be perfect. And so then they go and rejoin the after party, everybody celebrating back at the pub. And Wolf gets pretty drunk. And Agnes is watching him as he's kind of holding one of his friends, Lens, a man, and holding him in a like affectionate way that's making her raise an eyebrow and he's going like lens you're so handsome lens oh my god look how handsome you look tonight and we're kind of like okay this is his wedding night and he's not really kind of more excited about lens kind of

more excited about lens than his wife it's not lens's big day and we see her brother pulls her aside pulls agnes aside and gives her this little package a little gift and she unwraps it and it is a severed off human finger and she is we've all been there absolutely delighted by it this is clearly on the registry and she gets a big smile on her face and he kind of pats her reassuringly and is like soon you're going to be with child she's so excited so i guess this finger is again some sort of good omen for children somehow probably not whoever's hand again yeah whose finger we will find out whose finger it is okay okay and at the end of the night her mom and her brother go home leaving her in her new village

in her new home with her new husband and his platonic friend lens yes we are at their home now it's nighttime it's dark there's obviously no electricity at this time so she it's kind of interesting in these scenes she has a wooden stick that is lit on fire at the end that she holds in her mouth kind of like a cigar and that's how she lights her path around her just hadn't quite seen that specific tool it's like a mini torch i suppose and she's getting moved into her new house she's laying out her bug collection all right the bug she's hanging up her cross and her rosary and she sits at her bedside and prays asking god to bless her with a child and then she tries to put some moves on her husband in their tiny little twin bed looks a twin bed so uncomfortable that's too small maybe it's a

little bigger than twin but it ain't a full. It's so smaller than I feel like beds were so small. It looks really bad. When you go to this like historical home tours, I feel like I'm always shocked by how small they slept in there. They're so small. Yeah. They're also always like there were seven brothers who slept in this room.

And you're like, where? Joel and I can't sleep in smaller than a king together. We're in a queen. I'm like, what are you? Get away from me. It's like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory style these days. I'm in a queen by myself and it still feels a little bit small. I'm like, I got to get a king. Yeah, you do. I actually, I'm surprised that a king is like as big as they go. I would take bigger. They should go bigger. Yeah, because the California king I thought was bigger, but it's only bigger lengthwise.

It's just longer. It's actually narrower, but longer. That makes no sense. I got to say I'm clinging to the side of my bed like I'm on a life raft. And that's just where I am no matter what. It has nothing to do with who's in bed with me. That's just how I like to sleep. We got to make beds bigger and we got to make them earthquake safe.

Yep. Big room sized, maybe make it 360 and then you'd be really safe. Ooh, yeah, yeah. Like a canopy bed, but it's all bed, but it's also strong.

Yeah. So it's like an igloo, like a big wide bed igloo yeah that would be nice okay i love that we have already had two get rich any scientists out there make like you know those jungle gyms those jungle gyms that are like domes yes that's the framework yep yes yep but all around and inside and through is mattress. And hell, throw a mosquito net on there. Yes. Absolutely throw a mosquito net on there.

If Mark Zuckerberg is listening, I know you have a compound, Mark. Develop this. And I know you need some of these beds. In exchange for developing this, we will give you a vial of Henley's blood for you to work on this mosquito cure i think that's a fair deal very fair deal who wouldn't take that deal i take that deal uh so she's trying to have sex

with her husband on her wedding night a pretty normal thing to do he does not seem very into it he attempts to turn her around so she's not facing him and is like vigorously jerking off like trying to get hard it's not working and she keeps turning over her shoulder to like see what's going on and he's like pushing her face back like don't look at me it's so oh oh i hate that really unpleasant wedding night sex especially because you have to imagine she knows very little about sex probably probably yes and so he because this is normal if you know what sex is this is pretty standard this is no eye contact ever that's kind of the rule yeah it's pretty much what you have to expect uh So he is trying to get hard.

He can't get hard. So he just rolls over and goes to bed and leaves her completely confused. Like, yeah, does not know what just happened, but goes to sleep eventually and wakes up in the morning and he's already gone. So she's in the bed alone. She gets dressed and heads out into the woods to go look for him and i think there's like a you know work they have to do every day because it's the 17 a tree next to it of a woman throwing her baby off a waterfall so we are to presume this is the woman from the opening scene okay who has been killed for her crime ah and she has been decapitated Her head is in a cage next to her body.

Oh. With maggots crawling all over her eyes. And most of her fingers and toes have been cut off. And Agnes has one of them. I don't know that I want this woman's whatever energy's coming from her. Yeah, I'm not sure what the logic is here, but Agnes has put that finger under her bed, under the mattress.

So they must think that it will lead to getting pregnant, but I don't really know how they're arriving at that conclusion. Even in terms of like 1750 religion weird things yeah it still feels like a stretch but that said i know they made a big effort to be very historically accurate so there might be an explanation yeah also she's like my husband's gay like i gotta put a dead finger under my bed so she eventually finds wolf and her mother-in-law and the rest of the town they are doing fishing today in this lake they've got little woven baskets that they're catching the fish in and then they have to carry it over to these other guys who put it in a bucket it looks like a like a well-oiled machine that they've got going that everybody seems to know

what they're doing no one's really telling agnes hey here's what you do they just kind of start throwing buckets of fish at her she is trying to help but is not being given pointers and so the mother-in-law keeps yelling at her like, what are you doing? Like you're putting that in the wrong place and being a real bitch. Well, her mother-in-law's job is she's the town bitch. Yes. I mean, every mother-in-law's job. Am I right?

Says a single person. Anyways. So we're just getting a sense that she's like not immediately fitting in in this community they're not doing a great job welcoming her and making her feel at home so she's just kind of feeling useless right off the bat and like she's doing everything wrong we see her going back to her home where they have their barn with some goats and a cow. She is milking the cow. And she just at one point takes the udder and milks it straight into her mouth, like squirts it right into her mouth. And I guess I've never seen anybody do that before.

And she's looking like she's having a grand old time. And it was kind of delightful. Yeah, I bet that's a thing. looking like she's having a grand old time. And it was kind of delightful. Yeah. I bet that's a thing. I'm sure people did that all the time. It's like that's you're drinking the milk that comes from the udder. Why not just put it right in your mouth? I figured it must be because it's like this actress is milking a cow and does this.

Like it doesn't look like something that you could easily fake. I mean, you could, but it seems like it'd be a lot of work for if you can do it for real. Just do it for real. Just do it for real. Yeah. You guys ever milk a cow? No. Well, oh, I think I have milked a cow before.

I think I have. On like, you know, one of those cursory farm tours where they're like, oh, here, you can pull this udder and you'll milk a cow. And it's like, oh, I pulled the udder and milked a cow. You know what I mean? You did like one tug. Exactly. One tug. I don't know if that counts. I don't think it does. No, I mean, it's more than I've done. More than I've done. Zero tugs. I feel like that's a common bucket list item. Do you guys feel like the need to milk a cow before you die yes i do well see if you're gonna have to work your way up because you were really intimidated by the size of the cows at the gentle barn that cow that cow's way that was a huge cow those are dairy cows

sammy no those were freakishly big you're gonna have to go to like the hillsides of austria and find a natural milking cow that That's more what I'm after. Because American dairy cows are much too big. Okay, that is a good point. And I will make sure to pursue non-American dairy cows for this bucket list item. I think Ireland is the place it's got to happen for you. Any Irish people out there, let me know where I can-

Let us know where you can find the cows. Where are the cows at? I don't. It's not on my bucket list. No. I wouldn't turn it down if the opportunity presented itself, but I also wouldn't seek it out. Okay. That's just me.

I guess on my bucket list is not to milk a cow. It's more to own a cow and to milk day as often as it needs to be milked. That's a bigger one. I know. Seems harder. And so I don't think I'm going to ever cross it off my list, but it's on there. You got to start small, which you did one tug. I did one tug and it just wasn't enough for me.

Wasn't enough? I need more. Yeah. You want to do what our girl is doing agnes i keep wanting to call her agatha and have a little fun while you're milking and squirts them in your mouth exactly i also just want to i want to remind everyone that agnes also wrote all the music for the the movie right so let's all just periodically remind ourselves this woman has also written all the music for the movie really impressive i used to love back to school shopping so much that i would

tell my mom that i wanted to work at staples when i grew up because i just loved getting all the things that i needed that i would use every day in class i still to this day have nightmares about showing up in class without notebooks or number two pencils. Really scary stuff. But luckily I wake up and I realize I don't actually need notebooks or number two pencils anymore. But this fall there is something that I will be using every day and would be terrified to be caught without. And that's Raycon's best-selling everyday earbuds. I've been trying to go on walks every day, and so I need earbuds that I can rely on to

listen to all my favorite podcasts. And I know you guys listen to podcasts as well, so you know what I'm talking about. I got my Raycons in carbon black because that's my vibe, but they come in other cool colors as well, like forest green and brush violet. But my favorite thing about them is the battery life. They stay charged for 32 hours and they have a new quick charge function. So 10 minutes of charging gets you 90 minutes of battery life. Really freaking convenient for, I don't know, say a long morning walk. You forgot to charge them and you just need a little bit of juice to listen to one episode of a podcast it's only going to take you 10 minutes it's incredible so go to buyraycon.com slash too scary today to get 20 to 40 percent off site wide that's right you'll get up to 40% off everything on Raycon's website when you go to buyraycon.com

slash too scary, buyraycon.com slash too scary. You know what my favorite thing to do as of late is? It is to get my children to go to sleep at a reasonable hour and to go outside and crack open a bottle of wine, specifically a bottle from my Naked Wines shipment. Oh boy, you guys, they are a sponsor of this podcast and thank God they are because I love them. Recently, I've been getting into a crisp white. I really like their David Marchese's Sauvignon Blanc. I've been telling everyone about it. And boy, do I just love sitting on my patio with Tim, sharing a glass of wine, watching the sun go down, drinking my crisp white. Really cuts through the summer heat. Naked Wines is a subscription service that directly connects you to the world's finest

independent winemakers. So you can get award-winning wine delivered straight to your door. I can't stop talking about Naked Wines. The wine is so good and I love supporting independent winemakers. Every bottle has a great story behind it and I love sharing when I bring a bottle to a friend's house. So join the Naked Wines community and head to nakedwines.com slash too scary for six bottles of wine for just $39.99 with shipping included. That's nakedwines.com slash too scary for six bottles of wine for $39.99. So she goes back into the house that evening to prepare dinner for Wolf and her mother-in-law is lingering like over her shoulder, watching her cook criticizing her saying why

why'd you do it that way like that's not how he likes it and she says have you done what's the um our father who art in heaven what's that referred to as lord's prayer lord's prayer they call it something i don't know why i even went to answer when we have a woman of the cloth basically in our presence. They refer to it as something different. And I was getting confused, but it is the Lord's Prayer. And so she, the mother-in-law says, you know, you have to say the Lord's Prayer 10 times while you're cooking or it doesn't taste right. 10 times? How many times have you said the Lord's Prayer during this?

She's like, um, none. She's like yeah well you better get saying it because wolf likes it when you say it 10 times so agnes yet again feeling like she's fucking everything up i don't like this trope of mother-in-law's being evil like enough enough enough enough enough enough enough enough okay go on. And they're getting ready for bed that night after dinner. Seems like, you know, are they going to attempt to have sex again? Nope. Wolf just immediately turns his back to her and goes to sleep. And she's confused but doesn't try anything and just kind of lays on her back awake looking stressed. She's wanting to get pregnant and... She's aware that there's something else that needs to happen. It seems like it's going to be happening.

So the next day she goes to the church and she's praying next to they have like a baby Jesus doll in a glass case at the front of the church and she's kind of kneeling next to it praying. at her house again criticizing how dirty it is she points at all the the dead bugs and it's like what is all this nasty shit you've got in here like throw that out it's disgusting and wolf comes in and like scoops up all the bugs and throws them in the fire oh wolf okay come on yeah that's not okay. these nasty fish heads hanging in the corner of the kitchen. I guess she brought those as a gift. And if she brought them as a gift, obviously that means she likes you. And that night after he falls asleep,

she's like staring at the spot where all of her dead bugs were and crying. And in the middle of the night, there's a bang on the door, and Wolf goes to answer it, and there's a man at the door that says, Come quick, something's happened with Lenz. Oh, Lenz. Oh, no. And we all get our torches.

We're running out into the night, and we arrive at Lenz's house and see that he has hung himself. Oh, boy. His mother is there sobbing and they're trying to take his body away from her. And she's saying like, please, please, I want to bury him.

I want to bury him. And they're not letting her have him. And we cut to church the next day where they are explaining that because he has committed suicide, he does not earn a burial and he will be going to hell. And committing suicide is worse than murder because you don't even get a chance to repent for your sins and be forgiven. So you are just damned to hell that is really intense and we see a shot of what has happened with lens's body which is that he's literally just thrown into like what looks like the elephant graveyard from lion king he's not buried they just like toss his body on the ground to very unceremoniously.

Just, I guess, pretty, pretty awful. We see that Agnes has started her period. She's feeling really upset about this. And she's also like very affected by Lens's suicide and the fact that he is going to hell. We like see her in the church, like really sobbing when they're explaining this, like she's like can't wrap her head around how horrible that is. And seems like she loses it a little bit and she runs into this thorn bush and just like is intentionally running back and forth through all these thorns and cutting herself and screaming. And then she like breaks off part of a thorn bush and is rubbing it on her tongue like a lollipop and just like scratching her mouth and just like sobbing and screaming and really horrible stuff oh my god she returns home but stops before entering because she sees wolf and her mother-in-law inside talking about her and so she eavesdrops and hears the mother-in-law basically saying you should have married one of the local girls this girl is like not gonna bear you a child she doesn't fit in here she doesn't know

any of the customs and agnes is just outside crying oh god and so instead of going inside she goes and sleeps next to the decapitated woman in the woods and just kind of seems like comforted there somehow and the next day we see her walking through the woods and she walks all the way back to her family home where her mother and brother are and they find her and say like you can't stay here this is you have to go back to your husband wolf ends up coming to collect her and she is like a toddler like throwing herself on the ground like screaming and crying he's like essentially dragging her crying until she

loses energy and finally like goes limp and he just tosses her over his shoulder and carries her home. And we see back at the house, everything is in disarray. The dishes are not done. Food is going bad. She like has not been taking care of the house which is very shameful in this community she's not you know living up to her duties as a wife and we see her just sleeping in bed during the day looking super depressed and the mother-in-law is coming and kind of cleaning up a little bit but making it very known known how upset she is by all of this and saying, I can't believe she just sleeps all day. The goats are getting sick because she's not taking care of them well enough. And so Agnes is just like hearing all of this as she's laying in bed, just staring at the ceiling, just too depressed to even move.

staring at the ceiling, just too depressed to even move. They get her up and, like, sit her up and tell her, you have to get dressed. The barber is going to take care of you, brush your hair. And they leave her to it and hand her the comb. And she's, like, combing her hair normally at first and then just starts so aggressively combing it so that, like, surely, surely like chunks of hair are being pulled out just like hurting herself doing it and then cut to they've taken her to the barber

which i forgot that barbers in this time period and i don't know exactly what how long this happened but i remembered that leeches and i think i learned this on tooth and claw the episode i was a guest on was for leeches yeah and you know outside of a barber shop that spinning red and white pole thing yes that was originally from leeches that was supposed to be like a symbol of bloodletting because barbers but that's so like cute and whimsical and looks like candy cane. It's not. It's nasty and gross. We can't have literally anything, Emily. We can't have the barber's whimsical sign.

Everything gets taken. Everything is corrupted. So I think barbers at this time were also kind of doctors-ish. They were like, oh yeah, the barber, he'll take care of it. Yeah. doctors ish they were like oh yeah the barber he'll take care of it yeah and so we see people with leeches all over them and agnes is brought in and stripped down and seated at this table and a barber tells her he's like got a tool in his hand we can't quite see what he's about to do but he says this is gonna let the melancholy seep out wow and it's not a leech and you wish it was a leech

no it's a needle and thread and he stitches it through the back of her neck essentially piercing like an inch of her neck oh my god and threads the thread through leaves the thread in her neck and basically tells her she has to tug it back and forth so that it festers and then the poison will drain out oh okay oh it's really horrible definitely definitely definitely better now yes so she's in a lot of pain but she's trying to do this and she's we see her walking through the woods periodically she's like tugging her little string back and forth like she's flossing her spine. Oh, my God. It's really awful. And it does look like it's getting infected.

Sure enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And she's walking through the woods one day and hears a baby cry. And she finds a baby in a bassinet just alone she looks around nobody's around and she's not in a great mental state at this point and so she picks up that baby and looks like so happy carries it back to her home and walks up to wolf and his mother and says look what god brought us both of them are immediately suspicious say where that where did you get that put that back definitely not into the devil's

bath you can't you can't have that baby and she's saying something like who someone just left it in the woods who would do that and they tell you you have to take it back and the mother-in-law as she's yeah like she says surely they'll be looking for it and you took it so you have to put it back and as she's leaving as the mother-in-law is leaving she like brushes up against her she's like make one of your own oh your son won't have sex with me i want one i took a lady's finger for it. I'm trying. This is where I wrote the music gets really good. I mean, it's been good this whole time, but just a reminder, Agnes did the music. Okay.

And so she does take the baby back and she sets it right back where she got it. And she hides behind a rock and hears people come back and are like, oh, thank God. Like, he's here, he he's here and they take the baby so it was just someone's baby which was unexpected for me i did not see this coming but yeah it is someone was i guess just doing something in the woods and left their baby on the ground for a while i guess you're like where's it gonna go to go? Yeah. Surely someone's not going to come and take it. Yeah. People still do this. Where? In like Sweden?

Oh, well, in Nordic countries, they leave their babies in strollers outside of coffee shops or restaurants. See? To nap. So it's not so crazy. Now that's a nice way to do things. They like cover their faces in Vaseline so they don't get cold. Wow.

So they'll do it in the middle of winter to just have little naps outside. Some slugging. That's what it's called in the skincare community. Oh, slugging. Ew. It's a thing. It's a thing. Although I doubt that's what was really happening in this situation. I feel like that's not real. It does seem innocent. I mean, they really do come back to the baby and they seem super relieved and like, oh my God, what a huge fright we have just had that somebody took our baby. Due to no fault of our own. Yeah. And this is the last we hear of that baby.

So it seems innocent enough. Okay. But Agnes is pretty upset by it. Sure. So she's now back to just laying in bed, depressed, losing steam every day. Just kind of you're just seeing this depression is getting deeper and deeper. And one day while she's in bed, she grabs a bottle of something that we don't know what, but she does it sneakily and she dips her finger in it. It's

kind of like white gooey powder and she puts it in her mouth. We're getting the feeling like this is probably not good, whatever that is. And sure enough, we see her like praying next to her altar later and she starts gurgling and gagging and kind of shivering. And so we're, you know, something's up with whatever she's eating. I don't know if it's something that she's trying to hurt herself with or if it's a drug or something, but it's not having positive effects on her. Then she goes to the church, steals that baby Jesus, and is rocking it, looks so happy again. We don't know if maybe she's hallucinating and she thinks this is a real baby now. But she takes it to her altar, which also has like a little fireplace. And she's singing to the baby and has like a smile on her face and it turns out this baby is made of

wax and so it starts melting until the entire head falls off and she is screaming bloody murder as if her child has just died runs outside vomits and she's looking so bad now. She's got vomit dripping from her lip. Her teeth are brown. And she's collapsed on her hands and knees. And she reaches back

and she pulls that string back and forth. And now it's white and pussy. Oh, stop. It's so gross. Okay okay this is torture porn it's really i don't give a shit about what happens in hostel i literally don't care saw who has heard of it who's heard of it this my friends this is it this is it and's real. And it's based on real life. And that's why when anyone does those fun, like, if you could go back in time to which era, which would you go back to? Wait, who was it that said 1940s France? This was a celebrity that said essentially France during World War II.

I can't remember who it was, but it makes me laugh every time. They had to apologize and be like, oh, I thought it was a more fun time than that. No, I don't know. I thought it was a more fun time. It was someone who grew up on Hollywood sets and was educated like once a week in a trailer somewhere. Yeah, no, anyway, this is the reason why I say I had no other time. Yeah, I mean, that's correct. Yeah, no. Anyway, this is the reason why I say no other time. That's correct. I would take like 2008.

Oh, right, right, right. No, no, no. Yeah, 2008 is probably the peak. That was probably the best we're ever going to get. I'd go back there. Sure. Yeah. I mean, gay marriage wasn't legal yet, but... God, yeah. And it wasn't going to be for a while. It was on the rise it was it was there

was a potential there's the potential yeah i mean to happen but abortion was still legal yeah it was yeah it was so so we just gotta find a time where everything was good and take us there please yeah let us know when that is upcoming i'm sure i'm sure it's on the horizon i'm sure it's just around the corner but certainly better than this it's certainly better than this we see agnes's husband shaking her awake and so we're not sure like what's been a hallucination or what's been real she's not doing well that's all we know to be true and she seems to be spending a lot of her time in this bed and she's crying and she tells wolf you need to go get the priest i have something i need to confess and he leaves her for a while she again is looking like

she is on death's door just like spittle coming out of her mouth. And he gets back and he does not have the priest with him. And he says he wasn't home, but it's okay. Like you're gonna be fine in the morning. I'm sure you're gonna like be totally fine. And she says, I think I'm dying and I need to confess before I die. And he says, what do you need to confess? And she says, I ate rat poison. and she says i ate rat poison so now we know what that substance was and he immediately starts jamming his fingers down her throat again in a way that is like impossible to fake that these are the types of moments in movies that really stick out to me where i'm just like they just have to do that like how did they know like he does seem to be fair have pretty short little fingers but stubby little fingers but he puts them

in as far as he can and it's like full frame like in like it's not it can't be faked in any way the magic of movie making my god also it's like they did that in one take, right? That's the other thing. It's like, how many takes was that? Right. One take, right? Just one take of him shoving his fingers down her throat. You gotta hope.

And after this, she's back to being basically catatonic in bed, calls his mother over again, and we hear them having a conversation. And he tells his mother, I think she hear them having a conversation and he tells his mother i think she's in the devil's bath and apparently this is what depression was referred to at this time the devil's bath means melancholy and depression and so they pack her up, and they take her back to her mother and brother. They're like, sorry, it didn't work out. She's in the devil's bath.

What can you do? She's in the devil's bath, so we're going to need to return her. She tried to freaking get returned before. I know. Wolf does seem genuinely upset about this, but I mean, I don't know. i feel like he also sucks so yeah who cares she seems to come a little bit back to herself in her family home she's able to like but i guess

she's screwed because like she doesn't have a dowry anymore and right right yeah no one will marry her because she's been in the devil's bath and she's been in the once you're in the devil's bath there's no there's no getting out of that it's also just like depression doesn't just go away yeah and so she's slightly more functional and she's able to like bathe and get dressed but she has no light in her eyes she's not looking like recovered by any means and so she's kind of floating through her days until she finds this little boy and she says she's gonna pay him to show her the shrine where the baby was killed that we saw in the opening scene and i'm a little unsure of how she found this boy,

but I don't know. Whatever. This is what happens, and I don't know exactly why. But she finds this boy. She says she's going to pay him, take her to this shrine, and he points her towards it, and she's about to give him the money. And then she says, will you say Lord's Prayer with me, and then i'll give you the money and he says okay and so they both kneel at the shrine and they're saying the lord's prayer and she takes a knife and stabs him in the neck really suddenly blood is squirting out of his neck he's like begging for his life it's really oh sorry henley but i have to know how old he is. He's probably 10. Oh. An adult.

Practically an adult. He's mid-age. Exactly. Basically, yeah. That's full adult. He's ready to buy a Corvette. She stabs him like in the side of the neck, so it's not quite a kill

stab, so he's like screaming and trying to crawl away. And she has to like get on top of him and stab him again in the throat. And she's crying. And she says like, I saved you. Now you'll go to heaven. You're like, cause you will never have a chance to sin.

And like, you get to go to heaven now. And then she leaves him there and she walks straight up to the church. And she says, I have to confess. I've committed a sin. I've committed a crime. She tells them I just killed a little boy. And this is all in like a how she was like a bad wife and uh was unable to get pregnant and like made the house a mess and like also killed that little boy and the priest does the little cross over her forgives her and says you know because you've repented whatever your blessings you're forgiven and then she starts like kind of maniacally laughing half sobbing half laughing and she's like rocking um but she still she still you know committed the crime and and they take her and she's a prisoner now they chop off off all of her hair. They drag her down to the town square, set her on a little like execution platform.

Everyone gathers around. You know how it goes in the 1750s. Everyone's watching. It's like, woo, killer, killer. And they put a bag over her head and she starts singing. And this little girl in the front row starts singing with her and it's a really long they really sing for quite a while right up until agnes's head flies off of her shoulders she gets decapitated and then blood is like spraying out of the stump of her neck

and they're catching it in mugs and bowls and like the whole crowd presses in putting bowls and mugs trying to get some of this blood and are drinking it and this music starts playing and it's all celebratory and that's the end of the movie and so there must be something with because people wanted to drink her blood and she wanted that cut off finger and so i don't know what that particular thing is exactly but i imagine that it must be based on something i don't think that they would just like throw that in there for fun. So then some text comes up to let us know that in this era, people that were depressed would murder children. Usually it was it was usually women would murder children because it was a way to commit suicide without being condemned to hell. to commit suicide without being condemned to hell. And so, you know, a child would be easier for a woman to kill than an adult. And so there was over 400 documented cases of this in Austria alone at this time.

And so I had never heard of this being a thing, but apparently this was a thing. And it honestly makes a lot of sense like if you think that you're gonna be like damned to hell for all of eternity for committing suicide wow and you're wow really dealing with like is so brutal it's really brutal it's really awful it's terrible yeah so i wouldn't say i enjoyed this movie i think it's really well made and I think everyone did a really good job, but it is not. Can they come back to us? It's okay.

Get out of there. Henley, get out of there. Henley's like Agnes at the end, like sobbing and laughing. Get out of there. It's okay. It's not happening.

It's not happening. It's fine. Everything's fine. Yeah. I know. I know. Of course. Of course. fine everything's fine yeah i know i know of course of course i just think that it's so maddening how often the rules we've made for each other lead to worse things yeah yeah it's like we keep making the wrong rules we really do keep making the wrong we're gonna evolve out of making the wrong rules. Yeah.

And we're not anywhere close to that. Something tells me we're not going to be doing that. It's so weird. It's so weird to be living in this generation that's aware of that and so close and yet so deeply far away at the same time. And I also like that it's the historical horror movies that are able to make it like a community event. It's always like a community horrific event. It's like everyone's on the same page. Everyone's like, yes, Don't Hurt Your Death.

Yeah. I mean, I think because people think they're like on the moral high ground like i think that they believe that they're doing a good righteous thing and that's the danger of certain religion but also like and rules and like mob mentality like if everyone around you thinks one way then i must think the same way yeah yeah oh boy oh you know i'm not okay i'm not okay yeah that was that was really tough that was really tough it is tough and it's like almost not a horror movie it's just a yeah it's just really sad it's it's i feel like good that it has horror like the category of horror tied to it because people should shy away from it if they're not interested in exploring really dark

parts of life but yeah yeah i think folk horror is the first tag on IMDb. But it's really just like a period drama that's really horrific. Yeah, there wasn't even anything supernatural. No. And there's no specifically like scary parts in it. It's really slow. And it really just makes you feel like what it would be like to be depressed in 1750 like with absolutely no fucking resources and no understanding of what

depression is and i've never thought about that before and it's yeah that's gonna stay with me like the thought of being depressed today is horrible and yeah i just had not thought about what it would mean to have severe depression in a time like this and i think they did a really good job making me see what that might have been like. And I didn't like it. And once again, I am very happy to not be depressed in 1750. No, it's such a good point because I think what we're used to seeing are stories like this, but then the female protagonist is like the plucky, do it all, like overcomes any situation. And like you would see that storyline of like, oh, my husband is not wanting to have sex with me. Well, like I'll figure out all the ways he can have sex with me.

And then like I'll overcome everything. Like those are the characters were more often introduced to. So it's just fucked up that like seeing a character who is portraying another very normal state of human psychosis has to be labeled as horror. You know what I mean? It's like she was just reacting as another human would any other human would. I think it's partially also just because it's these directors and like their previous work is horror like i feel like if this was the first thing that they did i wonder if it would be so quick to be categorized as horror but it's like they have probably have a relationship

with shutter and and you know other horror outlets or whatever it's horrific yeah and you do watch children die you do yeah but i guess plenty of movies do that plenty yeah so many children die oh it's tough and i'm sorry that helcella saved you from we need to talk about kevin but it didn't save you not save you from the devil's back i told you at the beginning helcella give it take it away and i'm okay with that we are at helcella's whim i bow before you helcella uh but we will be back next week what's our movie next week it's anyone's guess oh it's maxine oh my god yes it is so i just felt so like outside of time for a moment yeah that was tough that's a fun one so next next week we'll hopefully have some more fun times ahead ah where am i at in my life that I'm like, Maxine, yes! Party!

No, I genuinely feel the same way. But I'm so relieved. I'm thrilled. You're in the devil's bath. I'm so happy. I might be in the devil's bath. No, I'm not in the devil's bath. I've got meds for that because I live in the modern time.

Yep. Thank fucking God. And I was thinking I would try to do a German accent, which is kind of embarrassing because I do speak some German, but It's not embarrassing. German accent, but they are speaking German in this. From all of us

here at True Scary. What is this? I love it. Didn't watch. Auf Wiedersehen. Auf Wiedersehen. Auf Wiedersehen. Auf Wiedersehen. Auf Wiedersehen. We did it. We made it.

Thank you all for listening to another episode of Too Scary Didn't Watch. If you enjoy the show, please remember to subscribe and rate us on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Five stars only or we will haunt you. And if you simply can't get enough of us, we have good news for you. We have lots of bonus content available on our Patreon at patreon.com slash TSDW podcast. You'll get access to video trailer reactions, two bonus episodes a month,

the power to vote for upcoming episodes and more. And last but not least, you can follow us on social media at TSDW podcast. We'll be back next week with a new episode. We love you. That was a HeadGum Podcast.