Too Scary; Didn't Watch - THE HILLS HAVE EYES (2006) with Ronnie Adrian

Episode Date: April 27, 2022

We can't seem to get enough of horror remakes from the early to mid aughts that verge on torture porn! This week we are joined by Ronnie Adrian (Comedy Bang Bang, Grand Crew) to talk about Alexandre Aja's 2006 movie The Hills Have Eyes, which Ronni claims is "pretty tame"!!!! We'll be the judge!Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEwXRbKgWnQYou can rent House of Wax from Amazon Follow the show: @TSDWpodcast on Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram. Check out our Patreon for bonus episodes and additional content! Rate Too Scary; Didn’t Watch 5 Stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Emily, Henley, and Sammy. Advertise on Too Scary; Didn't Watch via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is Emily, Henley, and Sammy, and you're listening to Too Scary, Didn't Watch. Hi, everyone. Welcome to Too Scary, Didn't Watch, the horror movie recap podcast for those too scared to watch for themselves. I'm Emily, and I am too scared to watch scary movies. podcast for those too scared to watch for themselves. I'm Emily and I am too scared to watch scary movies. I'm Sammy and I love watching scary movies and boy oh boy is Henley going to be thrilled that she's missing this specific episode because it's going to be a tough one for our scaredy cats out there. And I think particularly as you mentioned our scaredy cats who have children.

Yeah. If you have small babies, it might be tough. That's right. Good. Congratulations, Henley. We miss you, but also I'm very happy for you to be sick and not be able to be. I'm so happy that you're sick. Too sick to join us. Wow. Sammy, did anything scary happen to you this week? Well, one thing that I won't get too much into because, you know, you know, me is that the first mosquito of the season made it into my apartment. Oh, God. And it just man, nothing makes me crazier than a mosquito in my house. But yeah, I will. Again, I'm not going to get into it because it's just it's you've heard it. You're going to get worked up. No, they're here. They've arrived.

Yeah, they're here. I feel like mosquito season is starting and I'm not happy about it. But the other scary thing that happened to me this week is the kind of crazy quantity of films I have watched. Oh, OK. So I'm back at it. I get very overwhelmed by the amount of media out there. And it just so happened that this weekend, a lot of movies came out that I wanted to see. And I'm a member of the AMC Stubs A-list. So I can go to as many as I want.

Well, three a week. Let's not get crazy. But so on Tuesday, I saw Ambulance, the LA capitalized emphasis on the L.A. And Friday I saw The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent. Can't wait to see it.

Saturday I saw a movie called Petite Maman, which was very sweet. Saturday night I watched tonight's movie. This morning I watched Cats. Oh, that's right. God, wow. Yeah, we watched a lot of movies. We did a Cats watch-along, which will be available on our Patreon. I know everyone is dying for a Cats watch-along.

Everyone is dying to hear about it. And then tonight, I'm seeing The Northman. I just got nervous on how to say Northman. Northman? The Northman. Northman. The Northman, like a superhero, I think. You throw away the man. Yeah. The Northman. Emphasis onman. Northman. The Northman. Like a superhero, I think. You throw away the man.

Yeah. The Northman. Emphasis on North. I'm very excited for it. I keep reading, seeing headlines about how brutal it is, and I'm sort of like, ooh, am I gonna be okay? But man, oh man, I can't wait. Ooh, I can't wait. I guess also, yeah, the scary thing is I've not gone outside.

I'm just moved from inside my house into a movie theater back and forth several times. Can I ask, did you fall asleep in any of these movies? Petit Maman, I came a little close. I'm not going to lie. It's very sweet and very cute. And I did shed a tear as well. But it's also the shortest of them. It'll wear you out. The shortest of them.

It's 70 minutes, which can you imagine if more movies these days were 70 minutes? I wouldn't be so overwhelmed. That would be so great. Movies. It's just so hard that. Most of them are doubled up. Two hours now. Yeah.

But yeah, I don't know. I know it's not. It's not the scariest check-in I've ever had, but it's just all I've done. It's all I've done all week is Go to the movies over and over again You see more movies than anybody I know I can't possibly keep up Really getting my money's worth out of that You really are, I'm really not

I'm exactly why the AMC ALS exists Because I was like, yeah, that sounds fun, I'll join And that way we can reserve movie tickets together And I see like a movie a month So I'm pretty much giving them more money than Than I'm getting from it. But it's the ease of it. I feel like they're paying me to go to the movies at

this point. It feels like I'm making money. You're making good use of it. You're making money. You're earning money from AMC. I feel like it. But, Emily, did anything scary happen to you this week? Anything actually scary or anything as normal as going to the movies a lot?

Okay. Something actually sort of scary did happen. All right. Let's hear it. It was the other morning. I had gotten up for work at 6 a.m., which in and of itself, a little bit scary. So I was up. I was in the bathroom getting ready.

It's probably like 6.20 a.m. And I heard the worst scream I've ever heard in my life. A scream like an unfiltered, just like depths of, like I, it was, in the moment I was like, oh no, is someone being attacked? It was like that kind of scream where I was like, something is very wrong. Very wrong. And then it like morphed into like sobbing, screaming. They're like, oh.

And she was a woman and she kept saying, she was speaking Spanish. And I think she was saying, mi perrito, mi perrito, which is like my dog. My little dog. And so the quality of the screams was more than just the dog was dead. Like I think I was like, did a coyote get this dog? Like I don't, I didn't, oh my God though. It was so truly bone chilling. Yeah.

And I didn't know what to do. The thing I feel like about living in a city, I have thought about before is like, okay, well if something happens to me, there are so many people around that if I scream, people will hear, someone will do something. I didn't do anything when this woman screamed. No, it's the opposite. There's literal studies

done on this that the more people that are around, the less likely you are to help. Remember that one woman that was, like, killed in broad daylight in New York City in the middle of the fucking street, and everyone just thinks somebody else will do something? So you're actually more likely to be saved if only one person

can see you. Isn't that horrible? That's bad. That's really bad. So I guess just as always, fingers crossed, nothing horrible happens to us but it just was a really upsetting it was really upsetting I did nothing

That is so true though, how often you use that as a comfort of like, oh, there's people all around. I'm so safe. And here's the thing, Sammy. I'm going to keep using it as a comfort because otherwise, what am I going to do? I will, too. What am I supposed to do? Yeah. Let us have this. But I will say, thank God Joel woke up. Joel was woken up by that scream, which is worse, I think, than just being awake and hearing it. It's a tough way to wake up, yeah. But I was so glad somebody else had heard it because I just was like, well, this is the worst thing I've ever heard.

What do you do? Because what could you even do if you wanted to do something? I think once I became pretty certain that it was a dog, I was like, oh, I couldn't do anything. But as soon as I heard the scream, I thought, is someone being attacked? And do I need to call somebody? Right. But I didn't. So I hope that they weren't.

I wish them the best. I wish them the best. I usually don't actually have something scary to say. And so I'm just now in this moment ending on that. I'm like, oh, I don't know what to I don't know what to do now that I've said that right it's tough it's a it's a tricky question because if the answer is too scary then we'll all just feel bad I guess I'll give I'll just give a little positive update which is that Mabel and Theo one of our other cats are our best friends and they play together and they love each other and it's great fun for everyone and we're thrilled. It's very cute.

I saw it. I saw it in person. Can confirm. You did! Which is also Theo's being braver. He's coming out and they put on a little show for their Aunt Sammy. I loved it. Loved every second of it. So let's just, you know, remember that and don't think about the other stuff I said. Well, I have something

that's, I think going to get us back into that feeling bad territory and that is today's film great which is the hills have eyes the 2006 version the remake it was directed by alexander aja written by alexander aja gregoryvasseur, based on the original film by Wes Craven, starring Ted Levine, Kathleen Quinlan, Dan Bird, Emily Deriven, Vanessa Shaw, Aaron Stanford, Michael Bailey Smith, and Robert Joy. And it is available to rent on Amazon for $3.99. Boy, oh boy. We have guests with us this week to discuss this film. The reason we are doing this film. He chose this film.

He told me over text that it's pretty tame. And I believe he was lying to my face. Thrilled to have him here. Welcome to the podcast, Ronnie Adrian. Hello, everybody. Hi, Ronnie. Hello, Ronnie. Ronnie, how you doing?

Did anything scary happen to you this week? Oh, right off the bat. Okay. Right off the bat. I would say, you know, I wouldn't necessarily call it scary, but I will say it is something that has started to worry me about that. Okay. Which is in my house, there's like the back room where the office and there's a big window

in it where like you can look out into the backyard. And so I was sitting in it a few days ago and in broad daylight, I just saw like a baby possum just like walking through the backyard. Which isn't which will. That's crazy. It's like it's not like I haven't seen a possum in my backyard before, but that was like. But that's usually like at night when I'm like, what's that noise? You flash a light and you see some like glowing eyes looking back at you and i'm like oh okay i'm gonna i'm gonna go back in the house then yeah um so it's like just walking through the backyard and

i was like okay just all right just you know moseying on through all right i'm fine so then the next day i saw it again and i was like all right man i i thought it was like a one-time thing i don't know what's going on, but you need to just. You're not supposed to be up right now, man. Yeah, you're not supposed to be up right now. Why are you by yourself? Like a small little baby possum. Definitely a baby.

OK. And then the next day after that, I was in the backyard. I was like, you know, working out or whatever. And it was just out there with me. And I was like, hey, man, I don't know what's going on, but you need to find your mom, man. hey man i don't know what's going on but you need to find your mom man like i don't know what to tell you like and so when i started kind of going towards it kind of like shuffled away like but it's like a possum so it's like a little small possum so it's not very fast i'm just like all right man whatever so it kind of just tries to go somewhere

and it's but then it comes back and i'm like hey man i don't know what's going on but now i'm worried because now i feel like you're just out here alone and so gardeners came they uh they trimmed all the garden stuff whatever so i was like is the possible okay so then i go outside like to look to be like is it still all right and then i look and it's like uh there's a gazebo kind of like thing in the backyard and i looked and it's on the roof of that. I'm like, how'd you get up there? So now I'm just like, I don't know what's going on with this possum. Oh, no, you're now you're very attached to the outcome of this possum.

You're the mommy now. Yeah. And I'm just like, I don't know what to do. I'm just trying to figure it out. But yeah, it's so that's the thing. I guess the scary thing is this. Like, am I going gonna have to raise a possum i would love that for you ronnie i think possums are cute i do too i think and they're

pretty cool i like think possums are interesting little critters all right well cool then just why don't you shoot me your address and i'll just bring it over to you no no no no no no ronnie i got four cats my friend you ain't bringing a possum into this mix you know that but you know cats could cats they could relate to possums in a possum into this mix. You know that. Cats, they could relate to possums in a sort of way. You gotta snuggly, they all take turns kind of like showing at the ropes. When it's like different species cuddling,

that's always very cute. That is cute. Or maybe I want a possum. No, I definitely don't. But I do want to keep posted on that little guy's journey. Hopefully his mom's around and he just likes your yard. That's what I't. But I do want to keep posted on that little guy's journey. Okay. Hopefully his mom's around and he just likes her yard. That's what I hope.

So I hope, like, during the day the mom is asleep and the possum is just like. He's been naughty. Yeah, exactly. That's what I'm hoping in my mind, that it's just going out and exploring during the day while the mom's asleep. It doesn't look that way, but that's what I hope is happening. We're going to imagine that that's what it is. Yeah. We're just going to imagine. Okay, so Ronnie, scary movies.

How do you feel about them? Do you like them? Do you not? It's not that I don't like scary movies, and it's not like I don't watch them or I don't have an affinity to not watch them. I just choose not to watch them. You know what I mean? It's not your favorite thing to do.

Not a go-to. Yeah, it's not the genre that I go towards. I'm like, oh, you know what? I want to watch them. You know what I mean? It's not your favorite thing to do. Not a go-to. Yeah, it's not the genre that I go towards. I'm like, oh, you know what I want to watch? And like you were saying earlier, I am also an AMC member. Congratulations. Sammy, remind me afterwards because I would love to hear your opinion on Ambulance because it's one of those movies that I feel like everybody has an opinion on. And I'm somebody who's not an opinionated person when it comes to movies.

I'm just like, oh, did I like it or did I not but this one had made me have some opinions they stirred up some stuff it's a crazy one for sure but when I see scary movies and stuff that's usually not one that I'm like oh I gotta go check out this new ghost old timey whatever you know all this type of stuff where it's usually like this house is weird, but we're going to live it in any way. And then it's like that. I'm just I'm not afraid to go see it. It's just not the genre that I gravitate towards. Yeah. When you were a kid, was there ever a scary movie you watched that like really stuck with you or does it just not like you just not really get scared by them? Um, yeah, I don't think that I don't think I'm scared of scary movies in a sense. Like I'm not going to say like, oh, there hasn't been movies that like I don't think that I don't think I'm scared of scary movies in a sense. Like, I'm not going to say like, oh, there hasn't been movies that like I haven't been that haven't made me jump or anything.

But yeah, like but I don't I don't think I have nightmares from a movie. Yeah, they're not like sitting in your head and really messing with you. Like I'm not like staying up at night after watching something. My mom let me watch some stuff when I was younger that she probably shouldn't have. But it wasn't keeping me up at night like, oh, not the closets you know what I mean like it was like all right whatever so when you say that this movie is tame what are you thinking of as not tame what's like what would be on the more intense end or are you trolling me because I feel like maybe you're trolling me no I mean don't get me wrong. Like there is violence in this.

We will say that. But, you know, I think to me. The reason why I guess I called it tame, because in this journey of being like, oh, what movie was I going to talk about here? I like I watched a couple of a few others and I was like, oh, yeah, these are awful. Like, I don't want to talk about these. Which ones were those? These are like somebody like, there was one that I saw that is called I spit on your grave. Oh yeah. So you're watching a lot of,

these are all torture porn movies. Yeah. They're not, it's like, so it was those and then other ones where it's been and other kind of martyrs, that kind of. It's like movies where it's like all right well here's well here we're gonna terror why we're gonna terrorize women specifically or a woman rather be like oh this woman's pregnant i want to take her baby or other stuff it's like yeah those feel so much more guttural to me. So you're just saying it could be worse.

It could be worse. There was ones that I was just like I don't want to talk about this. How do I talk about this? The director it is Alexandra Aja who did High Tension just to give us a little bit of

background because we've covered that movie in the past which is also a little bit of background, because we've covered that movie in the past, which is also a little on the... I don't know if it's torture porn, but just... No, but it's stressful. Yeah. I think he is a really good director. He also did Crawl.

He's good at the tension, and I think he's a good horror director. And also kind of nasty. And he's also kind of a nasty freak. Kind of a nasty freak. I didn't know until ronnie you picked this movie and then sammy you let me know that it was a remake i think i have only thought of it as this you know early early what is it 2004 you said 2006 2006 early ought sort of situation and i didn't realize that there was one in the 70s is it popular that one i haven't't seen it either. This is the second time I've seen this one,

so I'm just re-watching this one. Ronnie, have you seen the original? I did, actually. I watched the original last night, actually. Ooh! I read the Wikipedia, and they seem pretty similar. They're very, they are similar. They have a lot of very similar...

Plot points. Plot points. I think a lot of the beats are the same. I think very much the original plot point of why this is happening in the first place is totally different. It's almost like throwaway. Interesting. Like, oh, yeah, this happened and now it's this as opposed to the reason why the people are the way they are in the remake. Right.

And there's other little stuff here and there. And the ending in the original is much more positive than the one in the remake. Love that choice. But a lot of the stuff is very similar. Pretty similar. Yeah. Well, I'll give us some stats on it. Yeah. similar yeah um well i'll give us some some stats on it yeah it has a 52 on rotten tomatoes and a

52 on metacritic it's pretty rare that those are the same it's pretty rare i thought that was interesting uh and a 6.4 on imdb okay pretty standard budget was 15 million and it made 70 million oh good for them and yeah there are some sequels i forgot to look that up but there's i think a couple sequels of this there's at least one sequel i think more the original cut of this film was threatened with an x rating which in 2006 i feel like is kind of crazy i thought we were getting rid of x by then, no? I thought that as well, but then it says they made some changes and then they were like, okay, now this is an NC-17

movie, which I don't know the difference. Oh, NC-17 I think you can play in theaters. X maybe has to be in a different theater. X you can't play in theaters. I can't remember. And then the difference between NC-17 and R is in R movie you can get in with parental chaperone and in nc-17 you

can't right i think so i think you have literally have to be 17 which is a very funny age to be like now you can't god imagine going with your parent chaperone to see the hills have eyes remake because it did eventually it cut out two minutes and it did eventually get to that r rating jesus what were in those two minutes? I don't know. I don't want to know. And Alexandra Aja said that they based all their descriptions and directions on real documents, pictures, and footage that they found on the effects of nuclear fallout in Chernobyl and Hiroshima, which is very scary. Uh-oh.

is very scary. Uh-oh. This one, just again, to give you a little taste of where everyone's heads were at before we get into this movie, is that there's a scene that was supposed to be even more gruesome where Alexandra Aja wanted

the mutants to put kittens in a blender with milk and drink them. Jesus Christ! Oh my God! But Wes Craven nixed it. Oh, was he like a consulting producer on it? I think so, yes.

I think Wes Craven was actually the one that spearheaded this remake being made because of the success of so we talked about last week, like on House of Wax, around this time, there were a lot of remakes happening. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake was around here.

And so he was like, well, let's remake my movie. Oh, God. That's so awful. Yeah. Blenders. I hope there's no blender, but maybe there will be. I don't think there's a blender. I think we're safe on the blender front.

That's pretty bad. And that's all we're safe with. Oh, God. Okay, mutants. Okay. Okay. So, okay. And the last thing I'll say is that this one, again, just a little pre-warning of some of the sneak peek.

Okay. warning of some of the little sneak peek okay is there was allegedly great difficulty shooting the scenes where a gun was pointed at the baby not because the child was too scared but because it kept trying to play with the gun it was very liked this gun and kept ruining the takes by trying to play with it i thought that a fun, playful way to just let you guys know that there's going to be a gun pointed at a baby. But just remember, if you will, the baby liked it. The baby was having a good time.

Yeah, that can be a comforting thought in a dark time when we get there. Great. Great. And Ronnie, how many times had you seen this movie prior to choosing it was it just like you were trying to think this is the first time I've seen it all right and it was just not as bad as some of the other ones you watched for this and you're like okay it's definitely one of those things that was like

you know because it came out so long ago I was like well have I seen it you know like I said I don't gravitate towards it but it's like maybe I have seen it and as I was watching the guy was like yeah I don't remember this at all so it's just like only thing you remember is like yeah I've seen commercials for this right like I seen so but it's like yeah I hadn't seen it especially around that time I can remember yeah I have like visuals for a lot of horror movies in particular around that time because I of course would never see them that was back when you had no choice but to watch commercials on TV and so like we didn't at least in my house at that

point we did not have I didn't have a skip fast forward pause function so like commercials came on I would just have to mute if a horror movie commercial was coming on like I would leave the room I had no other choice so I'm like very aware of those movies but I yeah of course have not seen them.

And I've put myself in a situation now where I must learn about them. So it's really great. Yeah. I mean, it's great. That's helping you get over your fears. Pretty soon you're going to be like, you know what? I'm gung ho about horror films. What do you guys want to watch?

Let's watch one of the most brutal horror films that they're making now. Pretty soon Emily's going to be suggesting I spit on your grave. She's going to be begging for it. My favorite movie, I Spit on Your Grave. Please, let's watch it. Oh, Jesus. Okay, well, I guess. Should we get a little peek at this trailer?

Yeah, let's watch the trailer. Oh, no. Oh, no. Hey, can you imagine the first people that crossed this desert? They didn't know where they were. Yeah, I can, because neither do we. Hey, get up. Tell me again why we couldn't fly like normal people. Don't see too many travelers around here.

Where are you all headed? San Diego. You have a safe trip. Did you find a signal? No, nothing. Next year, I am going to Cancun. They're like people or something living in those hills. Hello? Yo, my friend! Hey! What do you want?

I'm so scared. Okay. Yuck. I mean, they had a tagline that said the lucky ones die first. And that might help. Yeah, that might be true. I believe it. That might be true. That makes you think of a lot of the, like,

torturing movies we cover, I'm always like, the people who just manage to die very quickly, I'm like, yes. Like, that's all I would want in that scenario. Last week, we did House of Wax, and at the end, we all decided which character we'd want to be if we had to be one. So maybe we can do that at the end of this,

and we all get to pick. I can't wait. I'd love to put myself we had to be one. So maybe we can do that at the end of this. I can't wait. I'd love to put myself in those shoes. Yeah. Let me just also say a quick little trigger warning. Please. I'm sure. There is rape. There's some sexual violence.

And there's kid stuff. Baby stuff. Not sexual. But just there's a baby in it. I'm ready to dissociate. Start dissociating now. That's right. Yeah, I'm ready. In the past few years, I have hit a point where I only want to be wearing clothes that are comfortable. It happened. It happened to me. But you know what? I still also want to look cute.

And these are two desires that are often extremely opposing. And I don't want to have to sacrifice. I want both. I want comfort and I want to feel cute and confident. And guess what? Skims has freaking done it again with their soft lounge collection. I am currently very, very obsessed with, I have the soft lounge tank and boxer set. Okay. This tank, it's a great little rib tank. Classic. You can wear it every day. You can pair it with jeans. You can wear it out in the world, or you can wear it with this little boxer short that is so comfortable. It is super, super soft, lightweight rib. They're great. I also truly have been for years stealing Joel's boxer briefs to wear as

sleepwear and loungewear. And guess what? That ain't cutting it. I'm not feeling too cute in those. I'm not feeling too comfortable. But Desperate Times, however, Desperate Times know more because Skims has done it. You too can get on board with this. You can see just how cute and comfortable you can be. Shop the Skims Soft Lounge Collection at skims.com. Now available in sizes extra, extra small through 4X. And if you haven't yet, be sure to let them know that we sent you. After you place your order, select podcast in the survey and select too scary, didn't watch in the drop down menu that follows.

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oh this testing site sort of area in New Mexico or what have you. And ultimately, like, have different pictures of like deformed people like going through the whole thing. So it's kind of like that in the beginning where they're just kind of giving you a sort of sense of being like, here's something that kind of happened in this area. And that's one of the big differences between this one and the other one oh interesting okay cut to this family kind of like oh well actually that's not true what does happen then is right from the jump which is also very different from the first one uh because i think the first one moves very slower to something this one right from the jump like hazmat suit guys are like out there checking the area and they're hacked up pretty, pretty quickly. Like Paul Bunyan-esque guy just swinging right through their abdomens.

And then it's like four of them and then literally kills them all pretty quickly and then just drags them off in the desert. Anyway. OK. So right from the jump, within the first five minutes, you're like, oh, okay. They're not playing around. No. So then we cut to like this gas station in the middle of the desert. And the guy who's playing the gas station guy, bless his heart.

He's like the quintessential like, oh, do you only do horror movies? Like that look. Like, it's just like, oh, you're the creepy guy that immediately is just like, man, there's you have done nothing in your life, but work at this gas station and not take care of yourself. I guess this is what you would infer. kind of directing people towards the off the beaten path of the desert to which then the hills have eyes. People would then the eyes of the hills, if you will, the hill people,

hill people, the hill people would just essentially like kill them. So he's sort of working in cahoots with the hill people. Yeah. Kinda. Right. It seems that way. Yeah.

It seems that way. And then what would happen is all their belongings, so maybe like wallets and jewelry and just all the types of different stuff or whatever, they would then leave for him. Right. For his glamorous gas station attendee

sort of scary little life. Right, right. And they would leave for him. Which, hey, also what I always thought was funny was when you got into the gas station everything looked like if you went to a 7-eleven in your neighborhood now where it's like oh this is pretty set up pretty nicely for us how shitty this gas station is and in the middle of nowhere like truly who is coming here all of this stuff is gonna go bad right justistine, like all types of

so he was like, okay, this is a very different setup on the inside than on the outside. But anyway, he yells to the people like, I don't want to do it no more. You know, I'm not doing it no more or whatever because they're like lurking in the shadows. You get the vision of like lurking in the shadows. But you know, but they

had left the bag on there. He closes the door and the person is looking. Then he opens the door again and takes the bag and brings it inside like but i will take this stuff so anyway he has the stuff cut to the family uh coming through in the suv trailer hooked up to the back um they stop at the gas station one of my favorite uh uh a favorite thing that made me laugh uh and it made me laugh atiler because it reminded me which was that I guess the only song they got the rights to in this movie was California Dreamers with the Mamas and the Papas

because they're playing it must not have been cheap they're playing it and then at one point when like one person is like singing it I was like man they can only sing one song and in the trailer they're like we already licensed only sing one song. And in the trailer, they're like, we already licensed it. Might as well use it in the trailer too.

They got their money's worth for California Dreamin'. And also it's in New Mexico. Right. It's in New Mexico. Not in California. But they're headed to California. I see. Okay.

Like they're going on some sort of trip and they're sort of driving to California, but their dad wanted to take the scenic route. You know, they're going up to San Diego or something like that for their silver wedding anniversary or whatever. So everybody's there, the whole family. So the mom, the dad, they got three kids and their oldest daughter is married to some

guy and they have a child. And the guy is one of those kind of, you know, what would and the guy is one of those kind of you know what would you say like one of those old like late 90s kind of like tech looking guys nerdy dude shaggy shaggy haircut his name is doug and his vibe is so crazy because he's he talks about how he sells cell phones yeah and is tech is they're gonna say his vibe is so doug yeah yeah he's such a doug he he works at telecommunication telecommunications he's got his glasses and wearing his like long sleeve button up in the desert and but then he's also kind of a bad boy

smoking in the trailer even though the parents won't like it and he's like the the what the youngest brother bobby says like oh you're smoking in here in my dad's new camper van or whatever it is and he's like fuck your dad right and obviously the dad is not a fan of him the the quintessential like i can't believe my daughter married somebody like this type um so that's their relationship uh he seems you know to kind of he's uh he's proposed as kind of not i don't say a pacifist but i'm gonna use that term just to be like everybody else seems like we bought that action and he seems very much like i don't know like we don't need that we don't need guns we don't you know that type of deal

yeah and that's i don't want to it, but that's kind of like a setup. I'll give us some character names just to have them. There we go. The dad is Bob. Big Bob, they call him. Okay, Bob and Bobby. Bob and Bobby is the youngest son. Ethel is the mom.

The three kids are Lynn is the one with the baby, married to Doug. Brenda is the I think middle daughter. And Bobby is the youngest. And they also have their daughter's name is Catherine. That doesn't matter. We'll call her the baby. And they have two dogs, Beauty and Beast. Fun. Are these the same

names as in the 77 version? Yes. A family with names Ethel, Brenda in 2006, that's already, like, what a weird family. Okay, great. Okay, we've got, this is our family, this is our characters. So, they pull up to the gas station

and, you know, you're already seeing their character types. Ah, you know, just the quintessential, like, right-wing-ish type, just Republican- wing-ish type, just Republican-esque, you know, just like care about guns and hard work and

the dad used to be a detective. You know, just all the type of stuff. So the dad used to be a detective. He's like a retired detective. He's talking to the gas station attendant and, you know, they're like telling him the story like, this is why we're out here so on and so forth. You know, all the stuff was was being like why would you be telling me this if this was not a movie so it's like oh cool whatever and so mind you now one of the youngest hill person i won't say the

youngest but like the the youngest one that is prominent in the storyline uh she's like lurking around, creeping around. And she ends up basically taking the red, Bobby's red sweater out of the truck. This is interesting to me because in the film,

it's the hot, like, it's even a film that looks hot. It does, yeah. Right. Why are they putting sweatshirts on?

It's a film that looks so hot. In filming, one of the trivia things I read was it was 120 degrees while they were filming at one point. They filmed in Morocco. What? Yep. Weird. They filmed in Morocco. Everybody's sweating all the time. They talk about how hot it is. But for some reason, everybody's like, hey, grab my coat. Hey, where's my jacket? Like, it's so hot. I'm like, why are's like hey grab my coat hey where's my hat where's my jacket like it's so hot i'm like why are you even asking for this stuff it's so nuts so anyway they do that in the first one but in the first one it's actually cold in the desert

like you could see that it's cold so i'm like you this you didn't have to keep this part you could just let this out that a little bit my son hat you know but yeah so anyway so uh ruby is the youngest person's name she takes the sweater and now she's just like lurking around the movies in this uh red sweater she's deformed everybody's deformed for the most part uh so that's a thing great the dogs get loose because obviously they sense whatever was going on and so they're like acting all crazy and they're like running around and people having to go get the dogs because they get another trailer or whatever. And so ultimately, of course, that means like you're going in places that could be looking for the dog. You're in places that's like, well, like so they're like in the back room of the gas station, like looking around. of the gas station like looking around and the oldest daughter

whatever Sammy said her name was. Lynn. Lynn. Kind of comes into the room and she sees one of the bags that has like stolen property in it. And she just kind of looks but she grabs the dog and she comes out the gas station comes like attending

is like what are you doing? She's like oh I'm just getting the dog or whatever. And she's like goes out. And it doesn't seem like she was gonna snitch or anything like she didn't it seemed like she was just like well that's odd but whatever none of my business um and it goes to the thing but the gas station attendant was like nah not really since so he so that so he ultimately goes back to the guy because he was gonna let them just go right through the desert but he goes back to the dad as he's about to drive off he knocks on the window and he's like hey you know like this will cut down on your time if you go right through the desert here and the

guy was like oh okay cool whatever and then essentially that sets up uh uh the rest of the which then becomes they pull off um obviously and um they take the shortcut and they put uh like road chains down that like spikes your tire like road spikes they run over that thing tires burst and you know and then it's a dramatic crash it's a it's a dramatic crash it's a pretty big crash it's a huge crash and a thing that i thought was also so strange about this was huge crash uh the oldest daughter is in the is in the car um in the suv uh the baby's there in the baby seat or whatever they crash she gets out and she's going to check on the uh uh, uh,

like, Oh, everybody in the trailer. Like, is everybody okay? She runs to her husband and it's like, yo, where's the baby?

Oh, she's in the, it's in the truck. Like the mom cared nothing about the baby. Like, and that's something that I think is so funny about this movie where it's saying like, I'm not a parent myself,

but I know parents, my sisters are all parents. I've grew up around children, but that, and there's one thing I know about parents, and they care about their children way too much. Yeah, more than anything in the world. Definitely more than that husband. So, yeah.

So, these parents are so flippant about this baby, like, where it's like, they do stuff where it's like, oh, the baby's over, you know, like, where I'm like, you should be more attentive to the baby you know what I mean like so that was one that was my first thing to be like man she really just left that baby in the car to like after an accident

right also this is like a terrifying scenario regardless of whether or not there are people in in the hills like just crashing in the middle of the desert and they have no cell phone service because they crashing in the middle of the desert very bad and they have no cell phone service because they're in the middle of fucking nowhere this gave me flashbacks to the time that i got lost in joshua tree national park very scary and it was so scary and

of course my brain went to the hills have eyes because there was a part a moment when i was lost in the desert where we were just surrounded by hills, desert hills. And it was nighttime actually. Oh God, it was so scary. Yeah, I wouldn't like that. So already this is a very scary setup. Yeah. Yeah.

And so that happens. And so now they're all out trying to figure out what they're going to do, all those type of things. So now they're all out trying to figure out like what they're going to do, all this type of thing. So now they're planning. So the dad's like, I'm going to head back to the gas station, which is like, I don't know, like 15 miles away. It's far. So everyone's like, man, it's far. And then Lynn's husband is like, all right, well, I'm going to go this way. And so the dad has a gun and he has another gun that he gives to Bobby to be like, all right, we're going to go look for help. You stay here with this gun and watch the family. This is one of those moments where Doug is like, yeah,

I don't need a gun. You know, like even though they only had two, but he was, but he made a point to be like, that's not my thing. You know, that type of thing.

So, oh, the mom's very religious. So they pray beforehand. That's something that he kept from the first one as well. Whereas we're religious, so they pray beforehand. Sure. That's something that they kept from the first one as well. Where it's like, let's pray. I mean, it doesn't last that.

That sentiment doesn't really hover over the movie that much. No, just the once, really. So, it's interesting. All right. We see someone is watching them through binoculars also while they do their little prayer hug. It changes to a binocular view of someone looking at them and there's a lot of like heavy breathing POVs

of just like like someone just panting while watching. And also at one point in there before they go off, Lynn is in the trailer like going to get the jacket because her husband was like can you get my jacket?

Once again so weird. And she goes and gets the jacket and she looks out the window of the trailer and she can see off in the distance something that looks like it's out there. I think somebody was like you know they do that trick where they're like reflecting a mirror to somebody else. So it's kind of like that thing. Getting some hints.

So now at the trailer where uh bobby the mom and the two sisters they're all kind of sitting there i just want to make sure i get this joke the mom keeps talking about snakes and how there might be snakes in the desert and and bobby goes well mom you know what freud would think about you know like you know what freud would think about all your you know affinity to talk about snakes or some shit like something set up like that. To his mother? Yeah, he said it to his mother. A joke that they also had in the first one.

But it was just so funny because it's being like, that kid is not making that joke. That kid is not making that Freud reference. And everybody else is not all giving that like, oh, here we go talking about Freud. Like everybody kind of gave that knowing like oh Bobby oh my god that's funny no freaking way no freaking way so anyway so then yeah so then uh the dog is in a trailer going crazy the sister who uh we should point out that Bobby and the youngest sister like are messing with each other and not in like a fun brother sister way almost in a way where it's like do you two like each other? Like that type of deal

like that type of relationship between brother sister so anyway so she does something like when she opens the thing and like the dog cause one dog is out but the other dog is in the trailer cause it's just going nuts and it runs off after she opens the door it runs off so Bobby's like

and he goes and chases after the dog pretty soon after the dog is immediately gutted, like sliced all down the middle, pretty empty. Like one of the hill people got the dog, obviously, and killed it. Yeah, we don't see it happen. We just hear dog whimpering. Yeah. And Bobby hears it.

Bobby's running, looking for him, running into the hills towards the problem that we know about. But he doesn't. Right. So he goes, he sees the dog and he's like, you know, and he's like freaking out. He's a child. He's probably like 15. How old would you say he is? I'm not good at telling people's ages.

He's probably like 14 or 15. And the other sister is maybe 16, 17. And then the oldest sister is like early 20s, I think. Does that seem right? Yeah, I would say something that seems about right. And for anybody who needs more of a visual, Bobby is dressed like a member of the band

Simple Plan. That's right. In like 2000 and shorts, a long sleeve under a short sleeve. Long sleeve under a short sleeve, big pants. Because again yeah, baby. Because, again, it's 120 degrees. So, like, he's, like, now fleeing. He's seen his dog pretty much gutted.

He's, like, and he, like, runs off. I don't know. You know white people in these movies. He ends up falling over a thing and knocks himself unconscious. Ruby, the girl who took his sweater now she's kind of like watching over him like oh you know you see her hand i think i think it's a weird hand whatever she seems less sinister than the other ones yeah ruby is the one who probably has the most heart she's the one that's like oh like they're painting her the picture to be like out of all the monsters she looks like

them but she is not like them basically she's more giving a curious vibe and not wanting to necessarily kill them yeah gut them you're right gut them and ruby is probably along the lines of more of bobby's age maybe a little bit younger maybe younger 13 or 14 yeah oh we see like a shot of one of the hill people above ruby Bobby chewing on Beauty's leg, like a dog leg, as if it's a turkey leg and just blood dripping down on them. And this part, this made me think, have you guys seen on TikTok the raw meat experiment? No, but I've heard about it. It's so fucking weird. And I just like to clarify, you can't eat raw meat right i just

thought it makes you sick how is this some kinds of raw meat i think you can eat i mean i guess but not certainly not all some will make you very sick because okay there are tiktoks of just people eating raw shoveling raw hamburger meat into their mouth. I'm like, I don't think that's the kind of quality of meat that you can do that with. I just imagine you would get sick. I don't know. Seeing this man eating this little dog leg, I was like, can humans just eat raw meat?

Like, I just didn't think you could. I mean, I will say this. I think the rules are different when it is hill people who have probably been affected by nuclear weapons. Their bodies might behave differently. Yeah. Like, I think maybe the microbes in their body might be a little bit different than, you know, somebody who... Yeah, there's something else going on.

I just didn't like seeing a parallel in what I've seen in real life on TikTok. No, I don't like that at all. I don't like that at all. And so, yeah, that happens. And Ruby looks up and she's like upset with him. Cut away. I don't know which comes first. We see Doug first.

Doug. So we see Doug. So Doug, on his journey, he ends up going to some crater, which is basically the end of the desert. He's like, basically, this is where it stops. And in this kind of crater area and it's just and in this kind of crater area is just nothing but abandoned cars like they're just like abandoned cars so what we as the watcher can infer is that is where they put all the cars or the people that they've killed

you know this is where they come and that this is like perhaps the nuclear testing site and this is what's created oh that was the creator or the creator of the crater the crater creator the crater creator so in this so like there's all these types of new stuff so the this first thing that doug sees he's like he's looking in cars he's like oh my gosh he's like grabbing stuff because like this is brand new so he's like grabbed like a little dusty like teddy bear like thing for the for the for the baby and he's like just going so now he's yeah so baby now so now he's just basically shopping in these abandoned cars we've also seen shots of like an abandoned mine that's going underground in these hills we've just seen little

like glimpses of it and mutant sounding noises coming from behind a mine. So we see that there is an abandoned mine. Right. Seems bad. Seems bad. You know, yeah. That's, you know, it's nothing but shots of those and binocular shots and heavy breathing and stuff throughout. So keep that in mind. That's throughout. Yep. Great.

So, like I said, now we're, the dad, because, like, they're all wondering where people are and all this type of stuff and everybody. But anyway, so we go to the dad. The dad's at the gas station. Now it's, like, dark. And he's, like, trying to figure, find the guy. And he's like, oh, hey, somebody, whatever. He goes to the gas station. Like, nobody's in there. He goes to try to get the phone.

Phone don't work. Uh, he opens the thing. I think he grabbed some water or something. He took some of the water. Some of the fresh, pristine water in the fucking, in the cleanest fucking setup of a thing in the most desert. Like, who's cleaning this? Anyway. Anyway. He also sees, like,

the bag stuff or whatever. And, you know, I don't know if he has a noise or something, but the suspicion is raised. So now he's like, gun drop. Well, one of the things in the bag is a cut-off human ear. Oh, right. With a bunch of earrings in it. Like, they gave him, they cut it off for him as if like, well, you might want

these earrings. We're not going to take them out. So just here's the whole ear. They put the ear in like one of those cartons that a hamburger would be in. So you open the carton and it's just a bloody ear with earrings on it. Ew.

So that puts him on edge. Yeah, so he sees that and now guns drawn. Also, I feel like, just to note, this is Buffalo Bill, this actor. Just to have that image in your mind. The same Ted Levine who plays Buffalo Bill in Silence of the Lambs.

Oh, that's tight. So great. So now we know that's all i'm gonna refer to him as so buffalo bill now he he comes out he goes to the guy's car and he tries to start it the car won't start and then he hears the gas station guy in the outhouse drinking and stuff and making some noise like i didn't want to do it. I'm sorry. You know, that type of shit. Riddled with guilt. Riddled with guilt, basically,

as he's like fucking drinking. Buffalo Bill comes and he's like, come out of there or whatever. And like he opens the thing and the guy, the attendant, is standing there, a shotgun in one hand

and like the Jim Bean or fucking whatever the fuck he's drinking on the other hand. And the guy's like, you know, hey, put the gun down. fucking whatever the fuck he's drinking on the other hand and the guy's like you know hey put the gun down you know like he's do that all this type of stuff and the guy's just like I ain't sorry and he's like what you're kind

of discerning is it is you're trying to feel like it's being like who are you know like are are these his kids are these you know because it feels like he it feels like it's so his musings are so personal personal to him yeah you know what i mean where it's like i didn't know you raised her you can't raise them like you know it's this you know that type of shit yeah and so then he blows his own brains out with the shot guy boom okay now buffalo bill is really on it he's like what the

fuck you know whatever and then he ends up getting attacked well first he just hears a voice going right daddy yeah daddy and he like can't tell where it's coming from and is just like pointing the gun and runs back into the car well that's the good thing about this film the acoustics of the hills throwing you off because it's like these guys are very like they know how to throw their voices and they're very stealthy you know so it's always like i don't no one can see them coming and also it's like people man they were they were raised here they know every inch of these hills and you you don't know where the sounds are they're good at mimicking sounds right yes that comes into play so it's like all right so yeah so that so daddy's happening uh he needs like oh so he runs back to the car and then that is what somebody is pops about the

back seat as he's trying to like start the car or whatever and basically cut uh cut to the fact that it's being like he's got we we see that he's got we see a shot of them like rolling him into the mine right his head covered in blood the dad is not dead but he is like lucky ones die first is what yeah he's not dead but you know well unfortunately i feel like he does die first. But I feel like he's still not lucky. Right. Yeah. He's not lucky. He's not dead.

He's not dead yet. Maybe they meant Beauty is the lucky one. Beauty died first, right? Yeah. I guess they should say the lucky ones die fast. Yeah. So cut to his nighttime again. And Bobby is like, he hears them calling for him, hears them like calling for him, like Bobby or whatever.

Like, is it like whatever that kind of like wakes him up or some shit. They're just back at the camper. They're waiting for everyone to get back. Bobby is on edge, but hasn't told anyone that he found the dog disemboweled, which is like clearly not something that happened naturally from the dog falling. Like the dog was killed. And he doesn't want to freak everybody out because he's with his mom and two sisters and the baby. And so he's feeling like he's got to be the man of the group. And he's the one that was left with the gun by his dad.

And so he's trying to protect them and not freak them out. But also, mind you, he has the worst attitude. Everyone can clearly be like is something wrong bobby he's like no i'm just you know i mean like he's not handling it well so anyway so so that is happening at once he makes it back to the uh trailer after waking up from being in context for hours oh right because he felt yes i'm sorry you're you're right they found him and brought him back to the camper right so like you know there's going on they're like checking on like oh yeah whatever like what happened he's and you know like when people are doting on you and you're like trying to get like stop it get off me i'm fine you

know the type of shit so it's like it's that type of stuff but clearly he's just like where's my daddy because he's like i'm in above him i'm i'm in over my head here yeah yeah yeah as anyone would be right so you know that's kind of going wrong. And like everybody else is seemingly like, oh, I wonder where everybody is. But they're living in their naive world. They're living. They're like making dinner. They're like, you know, the sister still being kind of like a brat.

Like, see, we shouldn't have done this. Why do we even come here? Like all this type of stuff. And mom's like, I'm making dinner. Like, you know, blah, blah, blah. Like everything is still kind of just like, all right, we're going to get out of this. Everybody is assuming they're going to get out of this a lot. Oh, no. They hear something. Bobby goes outside, and Beast

was outside, chained to the trailer. Outside. He goes outside, chained there, Beast gone. Yeah. So, you know, Bobby's like, what the fuck, man? What the fuck? You know, so he kind of

goes back inside. So now he's, you know, he's on edge more than anybody and everybody else is on edge of his on edge. They're like, what's going like that? Because he's still not saying, hey, something happened to the dog or whatever. He's still just like acting like he knows what's going on, but they don't. There's a little jump scare because Doug returns. Right. Little jump scare. Doug is Doug returned. It's a little jump scare because Doug returns. Right. A little jump scare.

Doug returns. It's like, oh, okay, it's Doug. He goes to the thing. Doug's like, oh, blah, blah, blah, whatever. And he's like, man, look at all this cool stuff I found. It's like this and that. I'll stay in my life. Yeah.

So he got a bunch of stuff. He even has a bat. It's going to come in handy. Doug is like being level-headed cool but once again everybody's reacting off of what they know because like i said bobby's not telling them anything at some point they're all kind of in a trailer like wondering about the dad i was looking all worried so uh bobby's trying to lock up and they're like hey we're about to we're about to go out the oldest sister and doug and he was like wow what are you talking about you sleep in the

trailer because they were like no we're gonna go sleep in the su and he was like, wow, what are you talking about? You're going to sleep in the trailer? Because they were like, no, we're going to go sleep in the SUV. He's like, you're not going to sleep in the trailer. He was like, it's small in here. Like, what are you talking about? Like, no, we're going to go sleep in this. We're fine. This is another point though, where they're just leaving their baby in the trailer. Right. And they're like, we're going to go sleep in the other thing. You guys sleep in here with our baby. And it's like, what?

That's wild. Right. So, they go out to the truck, and so then Bobby kind of like locks up or whatever. Everyone goes to sleep except for Bobby. He stays up all nervous, checking his watch, freaking out with a gun in his hand. And then he hears a barking noise. I bet these people know how to bark. The first one, like they even show the different animals that these people could do

um in the sense but for this one it's just the dog okay he's making all different types of dog noises as bobby's kind of like searching because he's like beast beast and as he kind of gets closer and closer he's kind of starting to realize that i don't think this is beast you know what i mean like i think at some point like he they might even kind of start adding extra stuff, maybe leaving little giggles. Have a little bit of fun with it. Yeah. While he's out there looking for the dog, he done left the trailer open.

And guess what? There is a monster in the trailer. He's kind of going through stuff. And this is kind of like the quasimodo one of the group yep like but he's tall like a big frankenstein with a quasimodo face so he's kind of like going through the trailer like looking through stuff or whatever so clearly he sees uh the middle daughter brenda brenda and he's like oh you know like so he's kind of like waltzing his way over to her sleeping to the sleeping nubile young

woman asleep, you know what I mean? And just so you know, like, during the movie, like, at some point, she's like, when they're first stranded out there and it's in the daytime and she's like in her bikini top, you know, like out there sunbathing or whatever. And so she's already getting them all

riled up through the binoculars, you know what I mean? Oh, sure, sure. Sort of asking for it in a sense. Yeah a sense she's asking for whatever but it's what's so funny about that is then like when the mom asked them to walk to pray she's like and she puts her shirt back on and it goes over there to pray i was like this is clearly just this is clearly just being like we want you to see like she's like she's kind of sexy you know right so anyway it's 2006 after all this is how we do it in movies this is how we do it in movies this is how we do it

there's gotta be a topless shot somewhere where else are we gonna put it right we see his like kind of like deformed ass can kind of like

stroke in her face a little bit and then so they hear like a noise or like he hears like a noise meaning like

he sees the Bible's coming back and he goes to the walkie and he's like now and they have pretty much like christ-like crucified the dad like off in the distance and when he said now they lit him on fire so he's like so he goes on fire so now he's like crossed up on fire and he's like screaming like help me help me so now everyone's like what the fuck that's dad so everybody like wakes up and they're like oh you know like running out

to the thing right so mind you the Quasimodo dude he has Brenda like mouth covering he's like in the thing yeah she's woken up but now he's like having her covered up or whatever so they can't hear her screaming you know so like

so everybody's so preoccupied with the fact that they're like, we hear dad, we see fire, we're gonna go save dad. Everybody kind of like is rushing towards that. And it's just Brenda and that and the little baby in this camper van. Oh no.

And then another one who is probably the most human looking of them, but he's still like a wild hill person. His name is Lizard. He's got like a very big cleft lip. So you can see his like top teeth. He was on top of the trailer. He comes down.

Now he also goes inside the trailer where everybody goes to where the dad is. So now he's like in there and he's, you know, like now he's fucking doing that. And now he's fucking drinking the milk, you know, just being nasty like now he's fucking doing there and now he's fucking drinking the milk. You know, just being nasty, like going through stuff, putting stuff in his mouth, drinking the milk and he sees the birdcage. Now, there's a birdcage there and he's like, oh yeah,

here's these birds. And they're like colorful birds. Why are you bringing birds on a fucking road trip? That's insane. I know, just for this scene is why they brought it up. Yeah. So he sees the birds. He takes the, he Birds on a fucking road trip. That's insane. Just for this scene is why they brought him. So he sees the birds. He puts his hand in the cage, grabs one of the birds, and just bites the head off and then squeezes it. Like a go-gurt.

Like a go-gurt. Yeah, he basically had a bird go-gurt. So he eats the bird go-gurt. Like a go-gurt, yeah. He basically had a bird go-gurt. So he eats the bird go-gurt. Once again, also something they do in the first one. And this could have been a kitten smoothie, but Wes Craven. I prefer a bird go-gurt to a kitten smoothie, for sure. So Wes Craven was like, no, I'll do bird go-gurt. But we're not doing cat smoothies. So, what's this dude's name?

The other one. Pluto is the big one. Quasimodo on his Pluto. So, Pluto is like back there and he's kind of like getting a little bit more handsy with the girl. And that's when Liz lizard walks back there and he's like and mind you lizard is smaller than pluto but mentally he owns his mentals so he's like get off her you have to be a man to you know whatever and like so pluto like runs off embarrassed to the other side of the trailer like it is like he runs like oh he like runs off and he's like man

he's like smashing stuff and he's like really upset he's like, man, he's like smashing stuff. And he's like really upset. He's like fucking mad. Like he's destroying everything. Punches the birdcage. He punches the birdcage. Like he's fucking upset about this. Now, I know they gave you all a warning, but I want to give you one as well. It's coming.

For this part. It's happening now. So now Lizard is back there and he's like, you know, like, I'm liking what I'm seeing. Oh, God. And they don't necessarily, like, show Lizard assaulting this woman. Mercifully, it does not really show. But you just know that that is happening. You know, you also kind of see the background-esque.

happening. You know, you also kind of see the background-esque, but it doesn't seem as if it's like one person having sex with somebody, but it's movement enough to be like, I'm going to infer that's what it is, but I don't know 100% that's what's happening. He could just be like, really

still just like groping her or just like being wild or whatever. But it's not good. But it's not good. It is sexual assault at a minimum most likely rape. Yeah. By her reaction, I would say, yeah, he took advantage of this person

to the extreme. So anyway, so like that's going on. That's happening. She's screaming and oh, they like extinguish Bob. Yeah. so they're like they extinguish buffalo bill and he's like toast he's for sure dead and so the mom is hysterical like that's that's not who is that i don't you know like every and and it's like just get get her

out of here because she's going crazy and then like he's like get do this what are we you know like doug is trying to like keep everybody like together like we like, get, do this. What are we, you know, like Doug is trying to like, keep everybody like together. Like we need to go get some, whatever this type of stuff is happening. But everybody's clearly like freaking out. They're like, what the fuck? That's the fuck, right? At this point, Bobby's walked off and Doug is still kind of handling the dad stuff. And mom and sister, or at first, at least sister, the the older sister they're going back to the trailer

and lynn goes in first and so when she goes in she sees the two and she's just like worried about her baby because i think lizard is like now holding the baby yeah lizard is holding the baby and he says something about like how plump and delicious the baby looks or something like that oh the implication oh juicy i think is what he's like so plump and juicy plump and juicy yes so now he's holding the baby lynn just is trying to you know just she doesn't want the baby hurt the baby first here again she fucking picks up a huge frying pan and smacks him over the head. And he falls holding the baby like he could have. And he does fall onto the baby.

So that's another thing where she just she is doing it out of a the instinct of a mother. But it is kind of like that could have gone bad. Right. Sure. Right. But then he pulls a gun on the baby. So he pulls a gun on the baby. The baby loved it.

So the gun to the baby. They cut out all the part where the baby's cooing at the gun and loving the gun so it just seems like it's a menacing it's a menacing shot so now she's like being compliant and so because at first I was like oh okay like yeah and then

I was like oh no which was this so Lizard so so lizard goes and he he undoes her like strap of her of her thing and you clearly see that she has on like a bra that like pregnant women have a maternity bra like a mater yeah like a maternity bra which i was like oh yeah i know what that bra is but it wasn't dawning on me and then so then like he then he kind of pulls that thing to the side and just so you know you don't really see you don't see breasts or anything in this movie so if anybody's worried about hey i don't want to see that's what i'm worried about but the thing then happens is he he he's going

towards her breasts i'm like oh okay she's about's about to do some sexual stuff to her. But what he actually does is he started sucking breast milk from Lynn. Yeah, that's what I thought was... So now he's like sucking breast milk from Lynn. And she's just kind of like standing there like, you know, you can see her face being like,

what do I do? I think he's still pointing the gun at the baby. He's got a gun in his hand too. And he's taking huge slurps of breast milk from her and he's enjoying elizabeth is doing this thing so uh anyway so that's when mom comes in like as this is happening what a scene to walk into she comes in and yeah immediately blows her whole fucking torso out she gets shot instantly like this huge gun like shot so hard that she does that movie thing where she flies back she was like the gun was so strong she's she's flew back okay boom she dead i don't know what if anything happens after that but for all intents and purposes all intents and purposes headshot bam she was lynn she did ain't no coming back from

this and what when they heard the first shots or when they hear the shots that's when everyone's like the trailer so then now bobby's coming back to the trailer doug's running back to the trailer and everybody knows that they're coming back so now they're trying to make their escape lizard tried to shoot Brenda but he's out of bullets and he just goes I'm gonna come back for you later which that really that really that really shook her to her core

I feel like she was living with that for the rest of the film he's like I'm gonna come back for you later so they're like so they run off into the thing as Doug and Bobby come back I think Bobby lets off a couple shots at them as they're like so they run off into the thing as doug and bobby come back i think bobby lets off a couple shots at them as they're like trying to get away or whatever and so and then they kind of go into the trailer and you know witness all the madness uh brenda i this is the thing that kind of annoys me about scary movies i get it because it's a very it's like a very

crazy scenario it's not happening it's. It's all this type of stuff. But sometimes people are so hysterical. It's just like, God, shut up. And Brenda is going nuts. And the first one is even worse. I want it to be like, oh, wow. She just is so terrified. I can't, you know, you can't be the person that's being like like I don't know how somebody would act in a scenario like this

but like as an actor you're like I don't know I think you're overdoing it you know what I mean like this is a lot yeah dial it back but at the same time she has been tortured and you know raped and everything so like she's like so clearly like she just watched too since her mom

and her sister get shot so you know she's not good so it's not not not good so it's just like i understand it but as a person watching the film i'm like all right there's some levels to this this is a lot so anyway so this is happening whatever they're trying to calm everybody down and like she's freaking out and you know and now she's just like you know everything's all this stuff is happening and like and bobby's like what are we gonna do and da da da and and doug is like we just need and like, and Bobby's like, what are we going to do? And da-da-da. And Doug is like, we just need to think.

Because Bobby's like trying to, Bobby wants to just go out there and just fucking hunt them down, I guess, or whatever. And Bobby's like, we need to think. We need to think. And then I think that's when, that's the moment when Bobby really challenges Doug where he's like, my dad's right about you. You don't, you know, you don't do anything. You want to just, so what are you

going to think? They got your daughter. You just want to sit here and do nothing or whatever. You know, I mean, he's like, my dad's right about you. You don't, you know, you don't do anything. You want to just, so what you going to think? They got your daughter. You just want to sit here and do nothing or whatever. You know, I mean, he's basically being like. Oh, right. They took the baby. Did we say that? I forgot. Right.

Oh, yeah. They took the baby. If we didn't say that, I mean, I would assume everybody would have assumed that. But if you were like, oh, okay. And what happened to, if you've been sitting here listening to me being like, but where's the baby? Well, at least the baby's okay. Where's the baby?

They took the baby with them. Took the baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So now they're all in a trailer trying to get their wits about them uh they hear some noises they're like waiting for a little bit bobby shoots through the door they hear some things they hear like voices they hear like the voices of some of the hill people oh they shoot through the door then they go outside and they realize that it's beast and beast has a walkie talkie because

earlier in the thing beast ends up killing one of the walkie talkie people. That's like the watch out guy. So he's like watching from the thing. So Beast has killed one of them and he brought back the walkie talkie. And so now they're like, oh, so now they're like hearing the people talk on the walkie talkie. I'm thinking like, oh, they got the drop because now they can hear the thing. But immediately Doug is just like, why are you doing this to the walkie talkie so i'm like okay well whatever surprise they had is over with then they just put the baby on the walkie talkie you just hear the baby like cooing and stuff or whatever and it's like oh and i think that's the thing that turns bobby into like a man or whatever

i'm not bobby i'm sorry doug into like a man. So now it goes to the next day and Doug is going off to try to like, he's going to be like, I'm going off to, you know, whatever, whatever. So, and he's leaving them at the trailer. And so now it's like two separate things going on. So now Bobby and Brenda are at the trailer and they're kind of like home alone style, like rigging up the trailer, whatever. They take a tire off and they burn it up. That was Bridget's Brenda's idea.

I point that out because at one point Bobby's like nobody's going to see your fucking tire. We're fucking, we're going to, you know what I mean? It looks pretty bleak and they don't feel very confident that they're going to make it out of this. But it's nice to see her trying something and not just screaming and crying. I feel like it's like her one moment of taking some sort of action. So it's nice to see her trying something and not just screaming and crying. I feel like it's like her one moment of taking some sort of action.

So it's nice that she did that. Good for Brenda. Right. So they're sitting there and they're doing that thing, whatever. And so we smash cut. And now Doug, in all of his tech analyst glory, is like walking through the desert with a bat in one hand with beast on a chain like beast is on a chain like in the other hand like and he's like basically looking for a beast to kind of sniff out where the baby is so like beast is going like they're going through

the desert whatever and i i just i can't stress enough how untough he looks i just want to make sure everybody realizes that khaki pants button, buttoned up, sweat, super sweaty. He looks a little bit like Martin Starr to me. I can see that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like to me, he looks kind of like if Aaron Paul, the dude from Breaking Bad, had like glasses and a shaggy haircut. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's everything. And so like he's like, you know, walking to the thing, whatever.

And essentially he comes to sort of like an abandoned town looks like a whole a bit it's it's almost um uh i think it is you know i don't know anything about how they do nuclear testing but from what i've seen in movies they put like haven't you seen like little the mannequins or whatever that they're when they're doing tests they like have people in the vicinity to see how it like fake people in the vicinity to see how it is maybe that's not interesting i feel like i've seen that in movies yeah no that's right yeah that's like so like it'll be like anything that's like yeah nuclear testing or whatever so like when you go to it it'll be like toy town human

size toy town to be like how would it yeah yeah so it'll be like mannequins and like swings or like mannequins sitting at the kitchen table and all that type of stuff. So like this happened. Some of the mannequins kind of like are like burned, you know, like have that like dark soot-esque look to it. Like all that type of stuff. Like clearly this town is not, it's a creepy town. Yeah. So now he's like

sniffing around the town with the dog because he's like trying to find the baby. He's like, come on, find the baby, whatever. And he gets to a place and he's like, is this where the a thing is and then we see this big fucking like bubble-faced scary like like if somebody had took it's like he looked like if somebody had took a brain and then made it into a face like a head like um and then like and then he had that that thing around your head like you know that people have when they break their neck or get it it's like that those it's in uh titan to titan that that head brace thing that metal rods yeah like that oh yeah yeah yeah

and i think it's if you have like a spinal injury, maybe. But I think so. Yeah. So it's like imagine somebody the size of like Michael Clark Duncan, the guy, Green Mile guy, the big black dude from Green Mile, that size with like, but he's like deformed. So clearly Doug's got a high. Yeah. Doug's not beating this guy with the baseball bat. No way. No. So like Doug kind of like hides and

the dog makes a little noise which is weird to me because I was like the dog I would have thought the dog was being really stealth too but I'm thinking like this is a dog like dogs aren't this quiet a dog would be barking yeah like the dog like so but the dog was pretty quiet the whole time for most of it he makes a little noise the guy kind of turns around so somehow Dougoug sneaks into like a car that was there i don't know we have to get into logistics or something that's crazy somehow doug seems to a car quietly so the guy looks he doesn't see anybody and he kind of continues with his business he's he's like working he's like lugging some stuff from one end to the town to the next i don't or to the other i think it's bodies i think it's human bodies that he's just dragging around right you're right um so doug goes into one of the houses into the thing which that seemingly the

baby was in yeah and we kind of hear a tv and and he's kind of like quietly going through the house like looking through the thing or whatever he sees the. He sees the baby and then he sees like a hill person, like a woman seemingly, who's like combing the hair of a doll. Yeah. And she's watching a court show.

Divorce court. She's watching divorce court. She's watching divorce court on this TV as things happening. So in my mind, this is the moment where I would kind of go like,

okay, Doug, I don't know what's going on with you, but get the jump on her, hit her in the back of the head with the thing. But no, Doug's going to go like, alright, I'm going to sneak by her, go get my baby out, and then sneak past her again or whatever. I'm like, that's a lot of steps, Doug. Stupid fucking pacifist.

Anyway, so anyway, Doug gets to where the baby is. He goes to grab the baby. Anyway. So anyway, Doug gets to where the baby is. He goes to grab the baby. Next thing we know, turn around and the woman is now there and she knocks him unconscious. Whatever. Yep. Yep. Yep.

Yep. You know, I think back at the other place, like they're still getting this shit together. Whatever. They set up like a little trip wire perimeter. And what happens is the watcher guy, the guy who ate the dog earlier or like the guy who was eating the dog leg earlier. He gets, so the tripwire goes off and they get tricked into thinking it's a tumbleweed. But then they find that the mom's body is gone.

Right. And Bobby follows a blood trail to find the, yeah the the dog leg guy eating his mom you hear him like rip her um rib cage open and he's like eating her organs and then he sees him and chases him back and bobby just running and shooting without even looking, just shooting. And they only have, he has said, like, not very many bullets left. And he's just running and not even looking where he's shooting. It was making me so mad. This is the funniest thing yet. I thought that was so crazy to me because Bobby was like, at this point, Bobby's like gung ho.

He's like, he's upset. Yeah, sure, I would be upset. But it's so funny to have been like so he sees the guy the guy like sees him see him kind of like gets up and bobby has a gun and i'm like well bobby you have the gun yeah just shoot this guy but bobby immediately is like oh and he just like turns away to run i'm like and then he starts just let off a couple shots to this guy you're right like he's like running away trying to shoot this guy but i'm like just shoot the guy like right there like what are you talking about right you gotta just do it so anyway so yeah that is happening he ends up going so like they end up going running back to

the trailer where they have everything set up uh and then so then they both run into the trailer now what the guy doesn't know is they set up this whole little booby trap thing and they turn on all the gas in the trailer and um and they put magic to the door so they so they get to so they sneak out the back of the trailer um out of the window and so the guy comes up to the trailer and he's like oh i'm gonna get him now and so when he opened the trailer door the matches strike like i said they turn the gas on whole trailer blows up meanwhile they're at the top of the hill, like, you know, hiding behind something, whatever. The whole trailer blows up. Got one of them.

Thank God. Now we come back and Doug wakes up in a freezer. Like, but it's probably not a freezer because it's not cold. It's just like a freezer that you just store something in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a meat freezer type deal. And he's like, oh, what am I in? Now, clearly anybody and their mom knows what he's in.

Like we can clearly see immediately that he's in there with bodies and limbs and all types of stuff. So he takes like a match or something and he likes the match. And it's like, oh no. That's so true. It's lit for us.

It's daytime. It's like lit in a way that it's from the first shot. We see just limb severed limbs all around him, but it does still play it as if like he can't see it a minute later. It's a shock. And mind you, the, the top is like,

I'm assuming that the top is like clear. Yeah. It's like just dirty covered in a, yeah, it's covered in dirt, but it's still like, there's a little bit of something like you should have known that before you did the match also i'd imagine

that it would smell absolutely horrible the smell would be a hint also yeah and i think i would know what i think i would know what a what a arm would feel like on the back of my neck so anyway so like so he's in the thing so now he's like oh so now he's like hitting the thing, trying to get out of the thing. Because like I said, it's only, it's very not, it's not like it's metal or anything. Yeah. So he's like really beating the thing. Nothing in this town is like new high end equipment. Like everything is pretty old and shitty.

Like they locked it, but it's like, I'm just going to beat it a couple of times. So he's like hitting it with his hand a bunch. Me and myself, I would have definitely did some leg stuff in there. I probably would have got him out sooner, but whatever. He's just hitting it with his hands. So he finally hits it with his hand. He finally breaks out of the thing. He comes out.

He's gasping for air. But now he's determined. And this is the point I want to make earlier. They were making him seem like he was this weak telecommunications guy. But then this is the moment in the film where he has to be. Because at this point like the fact that he is not dead is amazing like this made me realize he's the toughest guy he's the toughest one of them all yeah uh because he gets he gets beat up a few different times a

lot uh so he so so now he's like going out he's looking for the baby um he's like creeping around he's like still creeping around trying to figure out like what happened to the baby, all this type of stuff. There's just mannequins everywhere too. So it like keeps being like, oh, someone's there, someone's there, but it's always just a little mannequin. But then he sees Big Bob's body at a dinner table with an American flag, like the burnt to a crisp body with an American flag protruding out of his head.

Right. Like an American flag had been speared into his head. And so I think he, does he hear, is he saying, is he singing the national anthem? Is that? Yeah. He's singing the national anthem. So, so you hear somebody singing the national anthem and like, and like Doug is kind of like walking towards where it's coming from.

and like and like doug is kind of like walking towards where it's coming from and then when he gets to the room it's like it's like the it's like the quintessential deformed boss is like an old old guy in like a wheelchair he hasn't moved at all and he looks extra bloated you you know, like, and he has a head that's like a huge head. Like, it's like everything about this guy's deformed. Right. And he's like, I know, you know, like he's like all he's like all fucked up and all this type of stuff. Like they're like, oh, he's super gross.

Right. This character's name is Big Brain. Yeah. This character's name is Big Brain. Okay. Which I did not know know and so he's in a chair and he's like singing the national anthem or whatever and everybody kind of comes in and then like and so big brain starts to kind of like talk to him or like he's like where's my

baby or something like this and big brain is like i don't know i never leave here or some shit like this right because clearly like if nobody's wheeling him around he can't move he gives us like a little bit of backstory. You don't need much. This is hilarious because at some point, I'm like, so basically,

the backstory is being like, you know, they tried to push us from our homes and then we would leave. And so, when they were trying to do the things,

they pushed us to the mountains or whatever. We went to the mines. We were pushed into the mines and they blew out you created us you all made the way you made us you know what i mean it was like it was like that type of thing and you're like this is like an hour 30 into the movie like at this point i don't need this expedition i'm not asking questions anymore yeah like at this point i'm just like whatever like and the speech is not moving

like it's not like at that point doug is like oh i finally never mind like you know i i relate to you all now i guess like it had it does nothing yeah yeah then next thing you know the guy from uh earlier pluto big guy he comes out of nowhere and now it's like and now he's like fucking doug up like he's like throwing stuff he's like you know all type of stuff doug's trying to get away he's like all this type of stuff you know and um he has like an axe and so they go like to the whole choreographed thing like slam down doug rolls out the way doug do this type of thing so on and so forth all this type of stuff so doug ends up kind of running away getting away right and he's like oh he like runs to the bathroom or something and he pushes like a tub in front of the bath of the door

like as he's sitting there being like oh you know and he's kind of like sitting there now mind you i haven't seen this dude uh pluto use a door once so i'm like he's not coming through this door dude what do you think so and sure enough pluto busts through the wall right like he bursts through the wall he like grabs him up they're like fighting a little bit like you know and like i mean he's like doug is like bloody like he's fucking them up yeah and essentially what happens is like Doug has something and the guy swings down his axe at the thing and he chops the thing in half which

basically makes it kind of like a steak like that you would have like with a vampire. Oh, it's his baseball bat. Yeah. He like breaks it and so that like basically turns it into a steak. Right. So he had the baseball bat and he basically, he chops it with a knife, ends up turning it into a steak. And so as the guy's kind of lunging for him,

Doug stabs him with the steak into the thing. Okay. Right into the belly. Right into the belly. Which the guy kind of like takes it out. Yikes. Yeah. It seems like it should be a mortal injury. Mm.

But for Pluto, it is not. Yeah, it was not. At some point, the axe, he chops Doug's fingers off. I think maybe also while he's like reaching for the thing, Doug loses a couple fingers and it's not looking good for Doug. And there's a part in which he's able to get a screwdriver from somewhere finds it on a floor or something and looks so pathetic and blood he's like on his knees with a little screwdriver to pluto who has this axe and he's crying and his glasses have fallen off too so he can't really

see oh a real nightmare to need glasses in a horror scenario. Oh my god, I know. And he just starts crying. And that's when they're all kind of like, now we're going to, and he kind of does that thing that people do in movies where it's like, got your ass. And ends up getting in the upper hand and ends up

killing the dude with his, basically ends up killing the dude with his own axe. He screwdrives him in the foot. Right. Takes the American flag through the throat and then gets the axe from him and axes him in the skull.

Damn, that'd do it. And he's for sure dead now, yeah. Now he's for sure dead. Yeah, he did a lot of stuff and now he's for sure dead. And he puts his glasses back on after that. There's like triumphant music playing and he's for sure dead. Yeah, he did a lot of stuff and now he's for sure dead. And he puts his glasses back on after that. And there's like triumphant music playing and he's just drenched head to toe in blood. Drenched head to toe in blood. He grabs the axe, obviously.

It's a superior weapon. Now he grabs the axe and he goes out because now he's like, I got to go. I have to find the baby. So he leaves Big Brain alone. And Big Brain is like, kill the baby or he leaves big brain alone uh and big brain is like kill the baby or something whatever through some fucking walkie talkie or whatever and like big big brain is like laughing like ha ha ha like he's fucking like what y'all and then little do we know there's beast and beast kind of comes out the wings and he's like uh it's feeding time and then

so big brain immediately goes i'm like ha ha ha triumphant to like oh shit the dog runs up and he fucking like yeah you don't see him maul him but outside you can hear him being mauled now damn this dog is fucking i was gonna say i like that beast just knows who to kill right beast knows what's up buffalo bill really taught the dog to like to how to protect his family so now the the fucking neck brace head guy frankenstein brain head dude whatever he's heard all this noise or whatever so now he's coming to like do the thing and doug sneaks up on him um hits him with the axe like ah chops with the axe the dude falls doug takes the other side of the axe which makes it seem more like a pick now like a

like a like the pickaxe side of the axe, and he fucking wedges it in the back of his skull. So now Doug is the fucking man. So Ruby, the curious girl, Red Sweatshirt, she is like with Lizard, or Lizard now he's trying to come kill the baby. So Ruby has been kind of like around the baby, you know, because she's like, she actually cares about the well-being of this child and so like uh lizard comes in and he's like move like i'm gonna kill the baby or whatever so she's like oh she like runs off or

whatever so when now he's about to kill the baby he like unfurls the blanket or whatever and he realized the baby is a pig that they had they have a pig and it ends up being a baby pig and not the baby and he's like ruby ruby's running away with the baby now to the hills lizard sees ruby and he's chasing out the ruby doug sees ruby and he's chasing out the ruby doug ends up catching up to ruby first she's gonna try to give him the baby lizard comes out of nowhere doug and lizard they start fighting they get into a tango they're like the other thing or whatever lizard is using the spike strip that they use to um pop the tires of the truck as like a whip it's a very scary weapon right they're like you know they're like they're having a little back and forth this is doug's and with each fight doug is just getting stronger and stronger.

Lizard whips Doug on the head with this fucking spike strip. Again, another injury that looks like it should have been a kill shot. It looks so bad. And Doug falls and Lizard gets on him and starts punching him too. And he's just pouring blood from his head now. It's looking pretty bad. In this fight, oh, I should say. So earlier when Doug had killed the dude with the pickaxe, the dude had a shotgun. Now after the fight or whatever.

So at some point when they're fighting, Doug ends up getting the shotgun back because he loses it well after he's gotten like whipped to the head there's a funny moment where he's it's looking bad like he's on the ground he's hearing the baby cry ruby's holding the baby lizards like trying to get the baby from ruby and he looks down at his bandaged hand with his missing fingers and his wedding ring is still on it like it hasn't fallen off, even though that finger is gone. Like the wedding ring remains. And that's like what gives him this little last burst of energy.

Oh my God. To grab the shotgun. Right. So he grabbed the shotgun and he ends up shooting Lizard. Lizard is, you know, down. All intents and purposes lizard lizard is

gone okay so now ruby is like gonna give doug the baby back like here's the baby whatever like he has the baby whatever so in my mind i'm thinking like what are they gonna do with this child like where do they go from here like ruby doesn't like ruby i don't know what's gonna happen like you know because ruby clif ruby clearly is like team whatever their last name is so like to me it seemed like ruby was if they're gonna save anybody it would be ruby they were like if they're gonna be like oh we're taking one person with us that really helped us you think they were gonna bring her because as a watcher you're like man i really care about ruby that's true clearly she you know yeah is he about to fucking kill Ruby

take her away from this life yeah but you also realize because she is deformed that like oh she probably won't fit in you know what I mean so it's like

it's a double it's a double edged sword so anyway so as he's like the baby and they're kind of having a little moment she realizes

uh Lizard has gotten up and he has the shotgun cause I guess after Doug shot him Doug put the shotgun because i guess i have to dug shot him dug put the shotgun laid it right next to him right next to him no can't do that so ruby sees it and she's like oh and she like runs in front of uh of like between the gun and she ends up pushing lizard off of the mountain with her as well. So she pushes him

they both fall off the mountain and so like when you Doug you run over and all you see is like him on the ground and like her on the ground too. They're both dead. So she saved Doug. Her own life to save Doug. So they were like alright now that plot point

is taken care of. Nice and neat. So Bobby and Brenda are at, at the trailer, like just kind of like, you know, seemingly like, well,

they killed a dude, but everything's on fire. They don't, you know, they're just kind of just like standing around and then off in the distance, you know, like with that type of like,

like, you're like, do I see anything and it's bloody doug the bloodiest person you've ever seen in your life slowly trudging along baby in one hand dog on the chain in the other like zombie coming back like i survived like type of thing they're like doug doug doug and they like all run towards Doug. He does look so like vacant behind the eyes at this point too. Like he's not even smiling at this reunion. He is just

a little shell of a person. Doug is no longer the person that he once was. Yeah, that would be the case. And so he's kind of coming back with the baby. The baby is seeming surprisingly well given the fact that it probably hasn't eaten in a while. It's been the hottest day in a while. It's been it's the hottest day

of the year. It's like you know what I mean like a lot of stuff is going on and the baby's pretty chill so I'll give baby Catherine that the

Catherine's a chill baby. Chill baby. So they're like in the middle of the desert. Now mind you like we already pointed out like we've already seen that most of their resources

are used and they don't have anything. Well and they they blew up that trailer. Yeah anything. They blew up that trailer. Yeah, exactly. They blew up that trailer. The tires, they took off some of the tires of their fucking truck. Clearly, everything is terrible, but they're just standing there in the middle of the desert

in this kind of big hug. Like, oh, okay, we got through the first thing. We finally got whoever is our family is alive. We all got us all back together. We're all in a hug thing. Cut to heavy breathing, look through binoculars again. So it's like a different layer of hill people

are now watching them. Like, it's like, and then that is the end of the film. Oh, God. Okay. I honestly like that ending. I like a dark ending to a horror movie. It's a horror movie. I don't want it to have a

happy ending, you know? Seems like... Also, like, to your point, they're not getting out of it. Like, the other option is to die slowly in the desert with a screaming baby. Like, that's awful. Yeah. How does it end in the original? Do they get rescued or something? In the original do they get rescued or something in the original

what happens is because i remember i told you the plot point is not the fact it's nuclear stuff basically what happens is same same vibe of gas station worker but instead his story is i was married i had this girl we had this beautiful child and then we had this baby it was a hairy baby that was you know so basically he's like he had some kind of weird baby the baby was evil clearly he ended up uh the baby ended up setting uh their house on fire or whatever killing the youngest daughter or the daughter um and so he and he knew that the child did it even though there wasn't proof so he ended up taking the kid to the desert he because he was like he can't survive out here whatever and i guess the child grew up it became a hill person became like a hill person uh how has he puts it uh kidnapped some whore that nobody would miss okay had kids of his own and basically

they're just like these kind of like hill people race kind of thing so they don't so they're not deformed like and even the even the even the hairy dad yeah they're just like nasty so ruby is like probably she should see a dentist but other than that it's like yeah if i was out with a friend and he was like hey man i'm trying to holler at this other girl so you got to talk to the friend and ruby was the friend i'd be like all right you know i mean like it wouldn't be like a deal breaker. She was fine. So, I say all that to say, so in that one, Ruby ends up helping them, like helping Doug get away

from that version of Lizard. Doug ends up killing him and everybody's dead because there's only them. So, it's only like, it's only that family and everybody's dead except the mom they had a mom who we got to see but i don't know i don't think she was about anything so they didn't really care so they end up killing everybody and then ruby and then doug

ends up coming back with the baby and the dog and ruby and he's like and then like as they're kind of like the music is kind of playing and he's kind of pointing like yeah and he's pointing like yeah and she helped me that type of thing whatever and then he's like oh and then ruby and the girl brenda end up kind of like clasping hands like yeah like almost as like you're one of us now you're you're with us and then it's kind of like a slow pan or as you kind of just see like just the hands in the frame holding holding hands in the frame or whatever. And the dog's kind of like in the background and it's kind of like that's their happy ending. I see.

So still they might have just died in the desert. They still might have just died in the desert. Though presumably Ruby could help them sort of figure out. Right. It seems more open ending to like them surviving. Then in this one where it feels like, oh, you're not going to make this. You're definitely not making it out of this. You're getting killed.

Okay, well, I have some really bad news for you guys. Oh, no. And that is that this movie is based on a real life story. No. And it is, sounds very funny, but the real life story of Swanky Bean. Swanky Bean. Swanky Bean. Swanky Bean! Swanky Bean. He was born in the 1700s in Scotland. And I think similarly, his dad was like some sort of, I guess not gas station, but I think like a carpenter or mechanic or something like that, where he was supposed to be that, but then met a woman and they found out that they both shared the same taste for human flesh and they fled and went and lived together

in a cave near the Galloway coast and would just pick people off of that, like came onto that road and kill them and eat them. So,. So the exact number of children and grandchildren, the pair raised in the cave is unknown, but over the 25 years they called it home, it is believed they raised and cohabitated with nearly 50 family members. So that's gotta be incestuous, right? Absolutely.

They're just like creating a gross little family, cannibal family. a gross little family, cannibal family. And they would make meals out of clueless travelers who unfortunately came across their hunting ground,

capture people by night and dismember their victims in a cave before picking, pickling, excuse me, pickling, salting and eating the body parts.

It's alleged that they murdered and ate upwards of a thousand people over the years. And at one point, one of the victims escaped and lived. And that prompted the king to send troops to the find the cannibalistic group. They led a group of 400 men, soldiers, I would presume, to the caves where they found horrors beyond their comprehension. They were all so shocked at what they beheld that they were almost ready to sink into the earth. I just really like this description.

I'm ready to sink into the earth. I'm ready to sink into the earth. Legs, arms, thighs, hands, and feet of men, women, and children were hung up in rows like dried beef. A great many limbs lay in pickle. What? And a great mass of money, both gold and silver with watches, rings, swords, pistols, large quantity of clothes, infinite number of other things, which they had taken from those who they had murdered, were thrown together in heaps. And from there, the family was taken into custody by the monarchy and executed for their crimes against humanity.

Wait, what years were they? 1700 Scotland. Ooh, yikes. Isn't that crazy? That's really wild. I couldn't believe it. Wow. I got to give it it also it's like

completely unconcerned with the final girl trope like it's like we'll let the men handle this one like even yeah well

the women will be sexually abused and then and killed and then they will let Doug sort of handle it I also like that

even the even the dog that survived was the man is the man they kept it the same. They were like, in the first one, all the women died, so why would we Why would we change it?

Wes was like, hey, man, I'm not going to be the person that's going to just make a female Ghostbusters or a thing just because the people are saying it. They died like that in the first one. They're dying in this one. I respect it. You know what? I gotta say, honestly

It wasn't as bad as I thought it was gonna be See? See what I'm telling you? See? Great, great, great It's no, I spit on your grave Oh, yeah No, no, no, no

But I am still happy that Henley was She would not have liked it Henley has a small baby And she struggles with movies with babies in any capacity. So she would have been particularly. I mean, well, just so she knows the baby survived to the end of this film. That's true. The baby's totally fine.

But the baby will die. Yeah. Yeah. It's no question. It's true. The baby will die. No question. Yeah.

The baby absolutely will die. Also, I feel like up top, I was like, Henley's too sick. Henley's going to be fine. Just don't. Listeners, don't worry about Henley. She got to rest up and take care of her baby today. She'll be fine. She'll be back. Wish her well. The thing I think about is being like, even if the hill people

don't kill the baby, the baby just won't be able to survive in those conditions. They literally have no food. They have no food, no nothing. None of them are going to survive. He has deep wounds. They're going to get infected at best. Like, it's not, we're not, it's not good. Yeah, they don't have any fucking water.

The dog doesn't have food. And we know that the dog can kill people and will. Yeah, great point. I mean, maybe they, if anything, maybe they can make it back to the gas station. Maybe. And maybe get some of the stuff that's in there. But. Yeah, yeah stuff that's in there. I don't know how they're going to get out of the desert that's

not walking. They're going to have to walk to that gas station. The hills have eyes too. Well, thank God for that. I don't know if it's about a straight continuation of the story. I don't think it is. I don't think it is either.

But if it was, I would love to pick up right at this moment continue on with that journey they start right here um and just to answer our question from earlier who do you guys want to be in this film which character would you want to be if you had to be one of them i think bobby right is like oh yeah bobby makes it out pretty much fine. He has to see a lot of bad stuff, but he doesn't get sexually assaulted, and he doesn't get killed. It's like either Bobby or maybe

Ethel, like someone who does die very fast. I was gonna say, if the people who get killed, I would want to be Ethel, because she saw some bad stuff, but then she didn't suffer physically very much. My character would be Beast because that's, you know, pretty much

the toughest person to feel in the film. And he's like killing people left and right. He's like taking no prisoners with the murders. That's a good dog. His body is a weapon. His body is a weapon. He's like a devil dog. Devil dog. Who are you going to be, Sam? I think Bobby. I think Bobby, yeah.

Yeah. Pretty good call. He'll be traumatized. And again, he also won't survive. He'll also die. That's the thing. He is going to die. Beast might not. I think Beast actually could probably maybe survive. I mean, we can all agree that in this last bit,

the worst person to be would probably be Brenda. Because if they don't kill her first, they're definitely using her for a while before they do. This is going to be bad, bad, bad, bad to be Brenda. Sorry, Brenda. Well, cool.

Great. That was fun. That was fun. Ronnie, first of all You know You've been mentioned on this podcast before We discussed you

With our dear friend of the pod Paul F. Tompkins Who you brought into our world So thank you for that Ronnie And Ronnie Where should our listeners check you out? You got stuff going on

and what should they look for for Ronnie Adrian I don't know Ronnie if you look if you want anything

you can check me out Bones Adrian I think that's my handle like on Twitter and also on Instagram if you just want to just kind of pop by every now and then to see if anything is going on.

Sure. That's where you'll be able to find me. You can check Ronnie out. Ronnie does. I'm a frequent guest on some great comedy podcasts. You can check him out on Comedy Bang Bang. You can see Ronnie in an episode of season one of Grand Crew, which is a great show. Everybody should check out.

I mean, you can see me on a lot of stuff. You can see him around. The man works, is what I'm trying to say. Okay. Well, I do okay. But what I really love to do is watch movies and then talk about them on podcasts.

Great. Thank you all for letting me do that. Thank you for coming. This was delightful. Delightful might not be the exact correct word. Parts of it were. And it was as delightful

as we could make it be given the premise we've set ourselves up with. So that's pretty good. It's pretty good. Pretty good. Any voices in this one? Freaky little hill people?

Or what do they sound like? Well, nobody sounds normal. Sure. Nobody sounds normal. I feel like maybe we could do like a little breathy one. I can't remember what Lizards is Lizards voice is like I don't know

It's kind of like a Get out You're not a man This is for man You gotta be a man It's like It's kind of like that Okay so

For one of us here Had too scary Didn't watch Yes Goodbye Goodbye Daddy Daddy There we go Goodbye. Daddy.

Daddy. There we go. Hi, everybody. Thank you so much for listening to another episode of Too Scary Didn't Watch. If you enjoyed the episode, please remember to subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. And if you really want to make our day, you can rate us five stars on Apple Podcasts and on Spotify. You can also follow us on social media at TSDW Podcast. We are on Instagram and Twitter. And if you want even more content, you can become a patron at patreon.com slash TSDW Podcast. We will be back next week with a regular episode. We love you a lot. Bye.