Too Scary; Didn't Watch - THE NUN with Reilly Anspaugh and Alfred Bardwell-Evans

Episode Date: February 22, 2023

BLESSED BEYOND BELIEF to be joined by Reilly Anspaugh and Alfred Bardwell-Evans (Review Revue) as we recap THE NUN, the most confusing movie in the Conjuring Universe!! Praise Be! TRAILER Recap begins @ 40:00 Follow the show: @TSDWpodcast on Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram. Check out our Patreon for bonus episodes and additional content! Rate Too Scary; Didn’t Watch 5 Stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Emily, Henley, and Sammy. Advertise on Too Scary; Didn't Watch via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is Emily, Henley, and Sammy, and you're listening to Too Scary, Didn't Watch. Hi everyone, welcome to Too Scary, Didn't Watch, the horror movie recap podcast for those too scared to watch for themselves. I'm Emily and I am too scared to watch scary movies. I'm Henley and I'm also too scared to watch scary movies. I'm Sammy and I love watching scary movies and so I watch them so that you don't have to. And we've got a real crazy one today. I'm very excited.

But before we get into it, did anything scary happen to us this week? I just want to give a quick little update for anyone who's following along. I did get nitrous oxide at the dentist this week. I got a message from a friend that wanted to tell you that apparently that's like what they do always for children. So just to remember that for when you have to take your kids to the dentist. I don't think that ever happened to me when I was a kid, but I guess I wouldn't remember if I was like young enough. I don't know. I don't think they were doing it when we were kids.

I think this is a new phenomenon. Maybe they weren't doing it when we were kids. We were kids a while ago. I got a lot of messages from people being like, you should do it. There are a lot of people out there who are getting nitrous oxide at the dentist. It's very common. There are actual like whole dental offices where apparently their whole thing is all about gentle dentistry and everyone's doing nitrous all day long. And I was like, you know what? This is giving me the confidence to go in and say, yes, please. So I did have it. Um, it wasn't that it was like,

first of all, you have to have this like scuba mask over your nose the entire time, which to me kind of negates the whole point anyway, because it's almost like claustrophobic to have like a mask on your face. And also the dentist. That's maybe what makes it harder for the dentist to get in your mouth. Yeah. Well, I was trying to get the dentist to be really honest with me. I was like, tell it, tell me, look in my eyes and tell me that this isn't going to be a

problem for you. And he was like, no, I wish everyone did it. and i don't know whether he was bullshitting me or not because that seemed like a little bit too much of an extreme reaction and was this the dentist or the dental hygienist no the dental hygienist we did not converse about this because the dental hygienist is the one who has to do the fucking work oh no no i was getting a cavity um fixed okay so the dentist was doing the work I'm back on board I'm back on board yeah so I felt and I don't know whether I just needed to tell him to like give me more nitrous oxide but I don't know if it really like even did that much I think I felt a

little I felt like I didn't want to be like amp it up doctor you know what I mean? But like, it was kind of, it was kind of like a pleasant, soft experience. It was nothing too extreme. I did not feel like woozy at all. I didn't feel woozy afterwards either. I think it did just kind of gently relax me, but i don't know whether it was worth it with the whole scuba mask situation um but i think i'm so you're you're torn i'm torn i think i'll try it again and i think i'll just ask for more next time yeah why not also i would imagine like you got to pay for that right i mean it depending on your insurance no well somebody's no somebody's paying for it like no it wasn't on my bill there was no nitrous oxide on my bill that's a mistake then that somebody there's no way it's just like if you wanted it it's free oh no it's just complimentary throw it in yeah we

have it and you can breathe it in whatever no there's no way it's not billed. I got an itemized receipt and there was no nothing on there. They're getting you hooked with the first one free. Maybe, maybe, I don't know. Oh my God. Okay. That's going to be the next installment in the saga saga. I'm going to get like a $5,000 dollar i think that was what my my friend was trying to pass that information to you about the kids she said i think watch out because it gets really expensive that was the message i was supposed to relay so just keep an eye on those bills yeah yeah there's no henley there's like literally no way it's just added on for free you can't even like you can't even like walk into a doctor's office Without paying something in this fucking country

There's no way Oh my god Well I'm gonna have to lobby my insurance company To pay for my nitrous oxide Yeah good luck let us know how that goes I'm gonna have to call that in Hopefully they don't use this podcast as evidence My own stupidity

Imagine an insurance company listening through our archive of evidence in your future trial well we got her okay okay okay that's enough about me she's innocent you're honest let's move on let's move on can you guys tell me about what happened to you this week? Okay, I'll just say I have entered an obsession with Little Debbie snacks. Oh, yeah. I saw you eating zebra snacks at the head young thing. Yeah, it was zebra cakes. Excuse me.

Sorry. Okay, I can't explain it. The joy in your eyes when you were eating that Zebra cake And I thought And I thought it'd be the thing Where it was like It was like an itch That needed to be scratched

And I would get one And I'd be like Alright great Now I can move on I cannot move on But it was a Pandora's box situation So I On New Year's Day

I think Okay so I was at my sister's For Christmas And we ate a lot of sweets Because it's Christmas And also my sister Always has like Twelve different kinds of desserts On hand in her home At all times And so I ate a lot of sweets For it's Christmas and also my sister always has like 12 different kinds of

desserts on hand in her home at all times and so I ate a lot of sweets for Christmas so it like really got me back to being addicted to sugar so New Year's Day all I wanted was like some fucking cake and Joel and I like literally walked like two miles down sunset trying to find places that were open so I could get sweets because I like needed something and all I kept thinking was well I would love a zebra cake right now and if you're not familiar zebra cakes little Debbie cakes they're shaped like little um like hexagons and they're white cake with a white center um I don't think there's a flavor other than sugar so I'm just gonna say white cakes that's what I said when

we tried when we tried them I was like tastes just like just sugar it really does sugar and I was I only ever ate health food as just sugar. It really does. Just sugar. And I was, I only ever ate health food as a kid, like really, really, really, really healthy food. My parents are, were, yeah, we like didn't have anything fun. So any chance I could, I would buy those little, little Debbie cakes and I was obsessed with them. And it just like, I don't know. I just like all of a sudden was like, I need one again. And I kept, there were a couple of times I would go to the grocery store and I would see them and I'd be like, you're not going to buy a box of zebra cakes. You're in your 30s. Like, let's be real.

But I kept wanting it. And so finally, a couple weeks ago, no, like a week ago, I saw the little Debbie cakes, white cakes at Target. They weren't zebra cakes, but they were some other white little cake. And I was like, you know what? I bet they're the same. I'm going to just get them because I have to got them. Look, guess what? They're amazing.

And I've had them every night that until they're gone, I will keep having them. But then this weekend, we did a HeadGum live stream show. And I was like, let's bring some snacks. And I went to Target. And then they had actual zebra cakes. So I was like, well, fuck. I have to get the actual zebra cakes. And then I did.

And guess what? They're even better than the other little cakes. And now I like can't I like all I want to do is eat zebra cakes and I can't stop. And it's like not a thing that I should be do. It's like it's so it's like basically plastic and sugar is like all that it is and i know that and i can't stop some somebody stop me you know what i mean you're in the you're in the you're in the throes of an addictive spiral right now i yeah it yeah getting out of it is gonna take something extreme i'm gonna have to like you're gonna have to lock yourself in your house

i'm gonna need some well they're in my house Henley the zebra cakes are in my house first you have to lock yourself out of the house I think that's the only answer you're not allowed back in until no no that doesn't work they're everywhere little Debbie cakes are everywhere I know I really thought that I would be like it'd be like a thing where you have a lot of them and you're like oh gross I don't want these anymore and like it's not it hasn't it hasn't happened yet. So I don't know. I don't know what to do. Okay. Well, speaking of addiction spirals, it's kind of a scary segue. It's not going to get dark. Okay, great. Uh, yes. Had we did a head gum live show and I left my phone there afterwards. And first of all, I looked at my phone there afterwards.

And first of all, I looked at my phone next to me and thought, oh, somebody left their phone here and got up and left. Like when you thought someone stole your car. It's the same like brain. When you're in your car and you thought someone stole your car. Yes. When I was driving my car and my parking spot was empty, I thought my car had been stolen. But so, yeah, I looked at my phone and thought, Oh sad. Somebody left their phone here. Like they'll fight. They'll get it eventually that someone was me and it was happening in that moment that I was leaving it there.

But then when I like got home, I like kept being, kept thinking, Oh, I need to tell so-and-so that I don't have my phone. I'll just send them a quick text to tell them that I don't have my phone and like reaching for my phone being, Oh fuck. And then I messaged the producer at head guy. I said, I sent an email and they messaged back. Oh yeah. Just like text me. And I was like, Hmm. I was like, Oh duh. Like text her, text her. Like, why didn't I think of that? Oh my God. And so I was texting her on the like message app in my, on my computer. And then as I went to like, go pick it up the next day, you couldn't text her when you got there. Right. I was like, I can't text. I can't text you when I get there. And then I was like, wait, I'll just text her when I get, I kept falling into the trap

of like, Oh duh. Like I'll just text her when I'm there. And just the amount of times that I like tried to reach for my phone or thought about like, Oh my, my phone is what I'll do right here was just very scary of how much my brain is like so dependent on the phone. I was like, what temperature is it outside? I simply can't go outside and see what it is. Like I need to look on my phone and I was like, fuck, I don't have my phone. How can I know what I'm supposed to wear today? I can't go outside.

Because I don't know if it's going to be hot or cold. Yeah. Just the dependence on technology is scary. Oh, right. Didn't AI get sentient this week? We forgot all about that. Oh, yeah, it did. It did.

But that's going to take way too long to talk about. And that is scary. So we can't talk about that right now. Anyways. Okay. Scary things happening in the world, in our brains, but also in our movies, you know? Great segue. That's what we're here to talk about.

And this week we're going to be talking about The Nun. Woohoo! Came out in 2018, directed by Corin Hardy, written by Gary Dauberman and James Wan, starring Demian Bashir, Teja Farmiga, Jonas Bloquet, and Bonnie Ahrens. I'm sorry, a different Farmiga? Yeah, are they related to Vera Farmiga? Yes, they're sisters. Oh my god, can't wait to get into that. But not in this universe.

Missed opportunity, in my opinion. Pretty weird. But yeah, streaming on HBO. Great. And we have some guests here with us this week to talk about this movie cannot wait to get into it so happy to have riley anspaugh and alfred bardwell evans from fellow head gum podcast review review let's get nunny Nanny honeys Nanny honeys I have None to say about that

Oh we're already In the thick of it The penny nanny stage I had to cover My full face to not Die laughing of Sammy saying I was in my car Saw an empty parking spot

And thought someone stopped. It is like the nth degree of, where are my glasses? Oh, they're on top of my head. Yes, exactly. It was exactly that. It was like, oh, I'm driving it literally right now. I am in it. I am driving it.

It's so incredible. Oh, my God. My brain's not well. It's not well Hey neither are ours Speak for yourself I'm actually very well Thank you very much

Oh really Really That's new That's new Picture of mental wellness Always have been Always will be That's a new development

Okay Congratulations Thanks to BetterHelp You were here first Thanks to BetterHelp Thanks to this show Oh thank you for having us guys We can't wait to get nunny with our honeys.

Can't wait to get nunny. I can't wait. Did anything scary happen to either of you this week? So last night, I went to the movie theater, and I saw the Oscar-nominated animated shorts. They do a compilation, and you can see all of them. Okay, cultured. Yeah, thank you.

Very, very artistic kind of person. And so I went there. I was going with my friend and her girlfriend and we went. And the movie theater that we went to validates parking. If you have the thing, you stick it in a machine, validates. Very common where you guys are. Chicago, much less common. You know, I'm not used to it.

I'm not used to going into parking garages, any of this. You're not used to going into a parking garage? Frankly, no. Most of it's like parking lots and street parking. So I'm already scared. I'm already scared because I'm in a parking garage. And parking garages are scary.

I think you can all agree. They are. They're terrifying. They're like haunting. Yes. Riley and I have a friend who really loves the smell of parking garages. She like hops the air. She didn't know until recently that it's like definitely carcinogenic.

She did not know until she saw a sign that was like warning. And it's like an underground target parking lot. And we were there with her and she just steps out of the car. She's like, Oh, get a load of that. This is like deep in the pandemic. She like pulls her mask down.

She's like, get a load of that. I just got to get some of these bands. And then she saw the warning sign. She's like, what? Like, yeah. warning sign She's like what Like yeah It smells like gas

It smells cancerous Well now something's gonna kill you do what you love But so then I like I lost the ticket and then I like found it And I was like okay time to validate it Validated it I was like I'm gonna be very deliberate Put it back in my thing Your obsessive validation

Does anybody have a podcast for any other reason and then the movie ends we go back to the car can't find the ticket oh i like stopped the car like i like was just about to pull out of the spot i turn it off i search i search i find the ticket it's like under the spot. I turn it off. I search, I search. I find the ticket. It's like under the seat somehow. I get it. They always, they always get away. Even if you're in a parking lot regular, let me tell you, this part never goes away. Nope. This happened to me twice this week.

Yes. And then I get it. And I'm like, phew, we're all laughing. Like that would have been bad. Had to pay the lost ticket fee. Ha ha. We go down six levels, pull up to the thing. Where's the ticket?

Where's the ticket? Cannot find it. Cann where's the ticket they think i'm joking they think it's a callback it's not a callback i can't find the ticket somehow in those three minutes i lost the ticket your car was stolen there's a line of cars stole the car um and i had to like scramble to find the ticket And I did eventually find the ticket But it was Mortifying when you can see the cars Start to wave behind you It was $6 If I hadn't had Like the lost ticket fee was $30

Right they really get you So it's like it was a big difference To lose the ticket So that was scary. That is scary. Riley, are you scared? I'm scared all the time. It's called a clinical anxiety, not to brag.

I was at a world market. Thank you very much. Picking up a rug that I ended up returning. Just a little bath mat that didn't quite work. That wasn't the scary part. The scary part was. Didn't work aesthetically or didn't work like as little bath mat that didn't quite work. That wasn't the scary part. The scary part was... Didn't work aesthetically or didn't work like as a bath mat?

Aesthetically, it didn't work. It was like we just want like a circular white bath mat, but it had like frills on the end. It wasn't the vibe. Anyway, I pick up a couple other things. I go into... You know how some stores

have the lines where it's like... Like Sephora has this. World Market has this. Some supermarkets have this where it's like they get little trinkets and like here on your way out why not pick up a candy why not get a mini beauty blender don't you need chapstick don't you need a portable phone charger i go around through that snaking in there and i guess world market was popping off it was busy i guess like and so there was only one cashier and they were dealing with like a return

order. So I'm waiting in the front. I only have three items I need to check out. And I'm waiting for at least like five minutes. And then I see this older woman, she was probably in her like seventies. And she was with a friend who was probably in her like 90s and they go completely around the like line and she looks at me smiles nods and then just cuts me in line and just goes to the front and i couldn't quite believe that it happened and i i was like too scared to say anything because I also was in a rush too and I just was like standing there dumbfounded and there was also a line forming behind me and I almost did the thing of looking back be like can you get a load of this but I didn't do that either because I'm such a little weenie and I'm like I'm not gonna be mean to an old woman on a Tuesday when you're 70 or to

90 that's when you just, yeah, you don't wait in lines anymore. You do whatever the fuck you want. It was one thing to be like, oh, I just didn't see the line. I went around. But it's like, she fully saw, acknowledged me, and then was just like, my turn now. I'll be taking this place.

It was crazy. So I guess it was a mix of like, scary, cool, cool. She could do that. Also, I was too scared. I was a little tiny chicken to not be like, um, excuse me. I was actually waiting here first.

But I am spineless. So I didn't do that. Same thing. I feel like 70 is too young to get away with that. I agree. I agree. 70 is too young. I think 90 might be the cutoff.

Her companion, if she'd have done that, I'm like, go for it, queen. But like you're in your 70s. You look like it would be one thing if she just fully blinders on and was like going. But just to acknowledge and be like, I'm doing it and you can't stop me is is really profound yeah that was i that is stuck with me for a minute there's no winning in that situation because you would have felt like shit if you'd been like exactly the line bitches but you also but you also feel like shit because you're didn't say anything and there know. I know. Yeah, exactly. I was not going to be the asshole who's like,

old lady, step aside. They would have been like, you're leaving the store and you can't come back. It's Sarah Paulson and Holland Taylor. You're not going to call them out and talk like, you're not going to say, hey, this is my world market. Sarah Paulson's 70. Yeah, so that was I guess the real horror was my own self.

It usually is. It is, yeah. Yeah. Okay, speaking of scary things, what are your guys' thoughts on scary movies in general? I hate them. Not that I hate them. I can appreciate the craft. I think they're underappreciated.

I think nominate more horror at Oscars. Like, I mean, it's like there, there's so much horror films are just another kind of film. Like I think it is the same kind of craft, everything that goes into it. Um,

I am a chicken. I'm a yellow bellied little weenie coward. And so I get scared of the dark in my own home. My boyfriend's out of town for he's been in town for about a week and um i i'm scared of turning the lights off in my home alone like every i'm scared of everything that moves or doesn't and so um that uh yeah but it's like i can there's i think weirdly enough the horror movies that scare me the most like if it's like I can There's I think weirdly enough The horror movies that scare me the most Like if it's like

A serial killer or like slasher That's not scary to me the stuff that's like Gore is just gross it grosses me Out but that doesn't feel scary It just feels like gross but like Demonic stuff is always the stuff That's really scary to me Wow so you jumped in were you nervous

To watch this movie? Of course I was but I'm like I want to do something that's going scary to me. Wow, so you jumped in. Were you nervous to watch this movie? Of course I was. But I'm like, I want to do something that's going to be scary because it's the fun of it. And also like Alf and I were texting throughout. And so we also said, because we watched it, because Alf's in Chicago. And so we timed it to watch at the same time. And we were on the phone before we started.

And we're like, if it gets too scary, maybe we can call instead of text each other. And spoiler alert, we didn't text each other um and spoiler alert we never we didn't call each other after the film uh but yeah so got it horror horror um no i i so growing up i did not like scary things i like very very like active imagination uh i remember one time watching the simpsons when i was like six And it wasn't The Simpsons but like A trailer for a horror movie Came on during The Simpsons

And it like haunted me For weeks And my dad always was like Horror's very low brow Very low brow don't want to watch it My dad's British And so I was like yeah Horror's low brow I don't want to watch it. My dad's British. For context. It'd be fascinating if you weren't. And so I was like, yeah, horror's lowbrow.

I don't want to watch that. Like, that's not like high art or whatever. Because, of course, The Simpsons is. Kind of is. But then when I was like, when I was like a teenager, I started like dip my toes in. Um, when I was like a teenager, I started like dip my toes in. And then the thing that really did it, um, speaking to Henley's dentist story is I got my wisdom teeth out. And after I got my wisdom teeth out, I was like recovering and just sitting there.

And in some like Percocet addled stupor, I was like, I know what I'll watch the Babadook. Oh, Alfred. And so I watched that in my like Wisdom teeth recovery like kind of like Out of it whatever and it was So scary but like so That's like the worst state to watch that movie But like so engaging that I like

Fell in love with it and I was like this movie is The best movie that's ever been made I can't believe I was sleeping on this And so after that I like Really fell in love with it. And like now, like my partner really doesn't like scary things, very scared of scary things. So like it's like me and my roommate love it. And so we just watch it all the time.

It's like if it's just the two of us, for whatever reason, we know we're watching horror because it's like nobody else likes it. So we're going to watch it. I didn't know this about you which is strange because we know everything about each other the babadook story specifically or that i like it that you like horror yeah i do i mean i don't think you know i never i guess i thought you were a little scaredy scaredy like me no i mean okay that's cool. For sure. That's fine. You really thought we were going to bond over that? Yep.

No, I mean, I think there are a lot of, like, really annoying horror people. I'm sure you guys have encountered this on the podcast, but, like, you know, weird, like... Name them, name them, name them. But just, you know, like, really, like, bro-y, like, horror people. And it's, like, I never liked that. I've never been a huge fan of men. Although the movie Men, great. Great movie.

I, you know, and so, like, you know, things like Jennifer's Body was, like, when I was, like, in high school. I loved Jennifer's Body. Like, tipping my toe in. Like, that was, like, huge for me. Like, anything, like, super campy and fun. I love, love, love. i still watch jennifer's body like at least once a year so good well to be fair to go back to what you're saying alfred or elf i don't know what do you prefer do you prefer elf to alfred so uh i alfred is fine

riley calls me alf so like a lot of like listeners and things call me alf which is weird because it's like usually you don't know me you don't know me like riley and my family calls me but now everybody's used i don't know use whatever you want man freddie just take your bag i don't mind make something up whatever yeah to be fair to be fair to your dad when we were growing up horror was kind of lowbrow i mean there were certain exceptions obviously there are certain movies that have come out that have been like really stellar. But I think recently that's changed, you know, in the past like 10 years. And that's why doing this podcast is so fun is that there are new horror movies all the time. And so many of them are really good. So many of them are really, really

good. And there aren't movies coming out like that at all anymore, except for horror movies. And it's kind of crazy that it's like the last standing genre where there's actually creativity. And I was just going to say, I think it's one of the most creative genres out there. And it's it's amazing, actually. I'm so scared to watch it, but I can appreciate be like, that's actually kind of brilliant. Yeah. I'm like, glad I'm glad it exists. Yes yeah yes i am too even as someone who is terrified of them and doesn't like to watch them i want to know everything about them i'm deeply curious and

i'm so grateful to sammy who just watches every single horror movie ever i mean honestly thank god for this podcast because what i do with with a whole i did This with Skinner in Skinner in is a film I will never see The trailer I have not stopped thinking about it last night I was turning out like so our apartment is two Floors and I that's scary So having to turn off all the lights downstairs Go upstairs and like the door To our office which I'm in right now was open but it was

Just black and I'm like oh it's a trailer for Skinner in um yeah And so it's like because I know I Will never see that, I still want to be in on the conversation. I still want to be in on it. And so I will read that Wikipedia article, optical bitch.

I will like, I will read everything I can about it. I want to know the plot. I'm not going to see it. But even the plot of that gave me night. I read it right before bed like an idiot. And then I was like Scared of what I read And I was telling my boyfriend I'm like I just read something really Fucked up and I'm like do you want to know

And he's like no he's like why of course not He's like when you present it like that Fascinate me because it's like I have to I mean no I don't want to but I must I have to know yes and so now I know the plot Never gonna see it so it's like that's That's what this podcast is and it's amazing For us little weenies out there who aren't Gonna get our asses in the theater for skin and rink i

can appreciate that it's like this amazing new experimental cinema even i'm scared to go to see skin and rink skin rink seems very scary i've heard it's like equal parts terrifying and like really boring too yes i was gonna say i watched the trailer after riley said that i was like oh i can't wait i didn't get it i think i'm too dense i was like i don't know what this is it's like where's the plot like mentally healthy yeah that's a plot i can get back so yes the nun had I guess, so Riley, you had not seen it before, I'm guessing. No, and when you guys sent the list, Alf and I, we would talk on the phone and we were like, what do we want to watch? What do we want to watch?

And then I think, Alf, you were the one who was like, what if we fucked around and watched The Nun? Had never seen it, didn't know the trailer, but I'm a, as growing up as a lapsed irish catholic i'm like you gotta see none and that's what we call her we just call her none so when we were like talking about the movie we were like so when none did this so we love none i think none slays

incredible had you seen it before alfred no no never seen it i i think like i think i had i mean i don't want to spoil like the recap, but I think I had higher expectations going in than than were fair. But knowing it was part of like the Conjuring universe, I was like, well, those movies are like some of the best, like most scary, like horror things to have come out in the last decade. The nuns got to be pretty scary and like pretty well well made um do you want to share how many times you've now seen the nun so i did wake up at 7 30 a.m this morning couldn't fall back asleep and was like guess i'll fuck around and turn the nun back on a second viewing so i did a second viewing at 7.30 in the morning. Love it. Waited for everyone else to wake up and

then went to brunch after having watched the whole day. Yeah, it's 2pm and I've done so much today. But yeah. Yeah, so I was excited and I had a good time with the nun. Of course. I'm glad that I

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A lot of Nun fun. A lot of Nun fun. Yeah. Would you have some fun Nun trivia, Sam? We sure do. I first just want to remind everyone that one time Henley did accidentally dress up as the nun for Halloween. I knew this was going to get brought up.

I knew this was going to get brought up. Now, how was it an accident? Okay, so you were trying to be like a ghost nun, right? What was the intention? I was dressing as hot priest from Fleabag and I feel like you were like, I'll be a nun. But then you like wanted to make it scary. I think it was maybe just the first thing that you saw at like a costume store or something. Yes, it was the first thing I saw at a costume store.

And then I told you and you're like, that's convenient because I'm going to be the hot priest. And I was like, perfect. So I've thought about this a lot. How could this have possibly happened? How could I have possibly accidentally dressed up literally like perfectly as perfectly like the nun um without knowing it without knowing it and here's why duh it's because our friend william was at this party i asked him to do my makeup and i wanted to be a sexy nun. Well, in many ways.

My outfit was a sexy nun outfit. It was like a tight fitting habit. It was looking good. I looked great. Okay. Until I walked into your bathroom, Sammy, with William, trusting him, trusting him completely. You came out full Valak. William grew up with three sisters.

And so he like knows what he's doing. And he would not let me look in the mirror. He was like, no, you're not looking in the mirror. He's like, you just have to trust me. You have to trust me. And he's like, it looks so good. It looks so good. He was painting your whole face white and big black circles around your eyes.

This is going to be sexy. Painting your whole face white and big black circles around your eyes. Because you have to take this easy. This is going to be sexy. How could you not have felt that it was painting? I don't know what it is, but I'm going to like hot. You're painting your whole face. Like some of this is on you. I'm sorry. Can you even believe that I, no, what's on me is knowing William for most of my life and still trusting him, trusting him to not.

It's a beautiful quality. You want to trust people. Of course I do. Of course I do. I think he just got me gabbing. Like I had a drink in my hand. I was like, the night was early. I was like having a great time.

And then I embraced it. You know, I could have washed it off and I did not. That's not fun. That's not done. I just wore it. I just wore it the rest of the night, except then I did also wear a Sporky or what's that Forky what's that from Toy Story I think Sporky is right from Toy Story

I forgot about that Somehow the Sporky Costume got in there I don't know why I thought That that was you trying to find a word for Pitchfork Some kind of Sporky The devil for pitchfork some kind of sporky

the devil's pitch spork no no the character from toy story 4 okay sporky um there was a mask that was at the party that i ended up wearing to cover up my nun makeup for a while um so i was like half sporky half nun um the classic half sporky half nun the classic half sporky half nun combo which I think was sexier when you don't know what to pick anyway yes that did happen let's go to the real trivia that's our most important piece of trivia now here's some less

important things about the nun which is that it has a 25% on Rotten Tomatoes 46% on Metacritic 5.3% on IMDb. IMDb is like, hey man, this is not bad. Budget was $22 million. It made $365.6 million. That is fucking shocking.

I'm the third. It is the highest grossing Conjuring film in the Conjuring universe. That is insane Wow And worst rated Worst reviewed

Made the most money Wow Crazy It's the second The Nun is the second character From the Conjuring universe To get their stand alone movie There's the Annabelle movies

Came first I didn't realize There's been three Oh Annabelle's from Conjuring Annabelle movies Yeah Uh huh Uh huh

So this is the fifth film In the franchise But the first Chronologically Annabelle movies Yeah Uh huh Uh huh So this is the fifth Film in The franchise But the first Chronologically And The Nun 2 Is coming out

This year you guys Stop it I can't wait You're lying I need so much money I'm gonna be there Opening night In

Yeah With my forky mask on I might go In my pocket We have to go see The Nun We have to go see The Nun 2 I'm going to be there opening night with my forky mask on. We have to go see The Nun. We have to go see The Nun 2. Not in my terms. Wait, you know what's really funny to me?

Imagining groups of nuns going out to see The Nun. That's why it did so well is because the nuns showed up. Nun representation in film. I still can't believe that is the highest grossing Conjuring film. So I have seen the first Conjuring and I'm like, oh, that's a good scary movie. Right? I think it was because like the reputation of these films is so solid that everyone. They made all that on opening weekend and that was what they. Yeah, exactly.

Everyone's just like so pumped. Like, oh, the new Conjuring movie. And to be be fair i feel like the nun was very scary in the conjuring movie that she was in um and so people probably just thought like this movie's gonna be so scary and so good that's so funny i think someone is neither of those things someone at water brothers is gonna be very disappointed when the opening weekend numbers come in for none too, I think. Yeah. Very poor. Yep.

Last bit of trivia is just that Ingrid Misu and James Wan, who are married now, met on this film. Oh! Okay, so, you know, we love a story like that. Romantic. A tale as old as time. Romantic set. Romantic film. That's right.

Let's take a peek. Let's watch this trailer. Wow, I can't wait. I can't wait. I can't wait. I had a series of visions when I was younger. And after each one ended, the same thought would be stuck in my head. What did you see? I saw none. What did you see? I saw none.

Lord of my visions reached the church. And I was asked to accompany a priest to an abbey in Romania. The abbey has a long history. For a look. Not all good. What? She may be down. Goddang's here.

Hello. Did you guys make sure you watched to the end? Yeah, I did. Nothing happened. The next suggested video is everything wrong with the nun in 20 minutes or less. The next thing that came on autoplay. Why did it say make sure you watched to the end? It's so funny. I have no idea.

I mean. So that you saw the text that says pray for forgiveness. Yeah. I've never seen a trailer that starts with make sure you finish. Make sure you watch. Please don't turn it off. Please don't turn off the trailer. You have to finish. Don't forget to like and subscribe. Yeah. All movies, all TV shows just

put a little card up at the beginning like just watch the whole episode please please guys for sure like make sure you don't quit out to watch the beginning middle and end we that's how we like this that's how it was created i think it was actually it's it's like talking about the whole movie because my experience of watching it was that it was begging me to keep watching i I know there's only 20 minutes left, but keep watching. We know it's bad. Please make sure you watch to the end. I don't know why it really got me.

And I've seen the movie, but I don't know why out of context it made me laugh so hard. She's like, I've been having visions. And what did you see? I saw a nun. I can say I watched The Nun this morning at 7.30 a.m. That's not the line in the movie. She doesn't say that. Oh, they do that all the time.

That's the magic of trailers. I was like, I wish that was what she said. Because what she actually says is, oh, well, it was actually, like, different stuff every time. Now that I'm kind of awake long enough, don't really remember it anymore i should have written it down i don't know you know how you don't like really remember your dreams it's like just kind of like that it's like there's different stuff but it's hard to you know say exactly what you'll get there it sounds like maybe this movie isn't also is not um at all well made but as the

trailer started i was just like, these movies are gorgeous. The setting, it was so cool. I love how much they really lean in to that stuff in the Conjuring universe. I feel like that trailer makes it feel like more of a

Conjuring movie than it was. That trailer was better than the movie. I don't know, something about it just felt like it had that vibe more better than the movie like i don't know something about it just like felt like it had that vibe yes more than the actual movie did i don't know the opening image of none like none none looks freaky none is scary none is scary her eyes are still like no that got me that got me for sure and then i i do enjoy the faceless Nun in the trailer like in the Like that that was cool That was cool But my god it makes this movie seem

So much more exciting and scary Than it actually is Well let's get into it Let's find out what happens And let's just try to keep in mind All the like you know the little visual Cues we saw in the trailer to keep ourselves scared The thing that really got me Is like the dripping of the water you know i don't like that

i don't like that ever in any context having to hear water drip yeah just like a big big empty room with water dripping you're out here in california that waste is really scary someone needs to fix this leak. This is important. Okay, I can't wait. I can't wait to find out what happens. You guys have really made it seem like it's going to be. Don't get too excited. Oh my god,

let's do it. I mean, where'd it even get? I will say the opening, like, five to seven minutes is the scariest part of the movie. that was when i was genuinely scared because because it starts like you're in this convent in romania and these two nuns are like horrified because there is like a locked door that says like god ends here or something like god dies here so the very opening shot of the movie is just like a clip from oh that's

right yeah it just like starts with like the like mother and daughter from the conjuring two being like none and then it like cuts to a hallway and the nun is just like they're nunning yeah and it's like that to me like the reveal of her in the hallway like the cottage scariest moment in the movie like fully just like ripped footage from the two and then it cuts to this abbey to this convent where you have like an older nun and a younger nun like debating like whether or not they should go into this scary it's like you you know it's like clearly whatever's in there they're like it's so evil oh my god and like we can't, you know, it's like clearly whatever's in there. They're like, it's so evil. Oh, my God.

And like, we can't let her out. And it's like, I mean, God, it's been I didn't watch it this morning like Alfred. But sorry. I remember it's like there's some kind of like noises or screaming or something. Well, so the older nun gets like grabbed, like all of a sudden she just gets like arms come out of the darkness yeah i was like why did they open this door they open the door when they're like we need to keep her in there i am gonna go in i am gonna open the door to make sure they can't get out that was insane also the fog

machine is like absolutely blasting throughout this whole movie. It's very funny. The amount of just like fog on the floor everywhere inside, outside. Same amount of fog. It's very funny to me. All the time. The second viewing of this for me this morning, I was on my laptop and I was just like, I kept like hitting the brightness button being like, it's got to be able to go brighter because I cannot see anything. Just like so gray and dark like every scene is at night for some reason like it was but then so the older nun gets grabbed and like before she

gets yanked to fully into the darkness she's like bleeding and she's like not even god can save her and then she gets yanked back into the into the darkness and the the young nun, Victoria, so the older nun, before she gets nabbed, she's like, you know what you have to do? It can't have a vessel. It can't have a vessel. Vessel movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Victoria's like, I'm scared. And she runs away.

She has like this weird key in her hand. Which I think the older nun gave to her No? Yes the older nun gives it to her Before she died She had so much time before she died To be like here's what you gotta do She has a lot of time to communicate She's like covered in blood

Probably her everything Past her pelvis is gone and she's like So I'm gonna give you a key You gotta end it you cannot have a vessel uh what else am i missing what am i missing and not just in the back like but then we do get this like scary shot of like she's alone in this room at the end of a hallway and she like sees a rope and she starts like tying it um and then you get the shot of like a hallway with like candles on either side and the nun just

kind of like skateboard dollies like down the hallway that was the scariest shot to me that got me it was a great shot and like the candles are going out like as she gets closer outside of where you can see so you're just seeing her outline it is an effectively creepy shot but they jump the shark because they show none in the first like they show none immediately so then you already know what none looks like and i feel like with something like this when it's like it's this evil that can't be contained that it's like well i don't want to know what it is until later because now i'm like well i know that she's just some lady she looks like she's going to a halloween party it's like not it's just a henley in a sporky mask i was when i when i saw it i was, that is exactly what I looked like during Halloween.

It is. It is. That is really spot on. But then the thing that happens, so like then Victoria, the young nun, she's like standing on the ledge. And she's like, God forgive me for what I'm about to do. And she like takes this rope and it's like she's tied a noose and she puts it around her neck. But then as nun enters the room, there's a cross on the wall. And you get this shot of the cross rotating 180.

So it's upside down. And then it catches on fire, which is like a hat on a hat a little bit. It was very much a hat on a hat. I really remember that. But that bothered me because as we'll get to later, crosses are the whole plot of this movie. Everything that happens in this movie is about a cross. Every scene has at least 50 crosses in it.

And like the rule that's established later is very clearly like demons hate crosses. But the nun is like fully like she is owning this cross. This cross cannot do anything to stop her. And then Victoria jumps and you get like a scary shot of her like boom. Like it cuts as she like lands. Which is scary. And that opening scene is definitely one of the scariest parts of the movie for me. Yep.

And then it cuts to Frenchie, I think. Is that right? The best character in this film, second to none. Second to none. Maybe the only character. Maybe the only character in the movie that they bothered to give a personality to. Yeah. To their credit, I do think, like, every actor in this is doing a good job with the material.

Doing the best they can. Frenchie is selling some of these lines that are like, ooh, ooh, talks like that ever. And so, yeah, we get like an establishing shot of Frenchie. He's like riding like a buggy, like a horse drawn buggy. So this is in Romania. I don't know if we established that. Yeah, it's like in Romania. It's the 1950s and he takes like this buggy

up to the front of the convent and he sees her body, Victoria's body, like hanging. Nasty, nasty. Like being picked apart by crows. It's gross. And over the front door by crows it's gross and then the crows like fly off of her body and like

multiply there's suddenly like a hundred crows and they fly the camera and it like blacks out the camera and then that's the transition into the Vatican like we just hard cut and like a little subtitle comes up and goes the Vatican. Okay. Like we just hard cut

and like a little subtitle comes up and goes, the Vatican. And there's like a senior cardinal who's like, we gotta, you gotta come, we gotta, you need to come, talking to this priest. Like they want to talk to you about something.

Something's going on. And then it's like all these priests and cardinals. It's a priest conference priests and cardinals. It's a priest conference about what has happened. Crazy that there's just like a little Catholic government. Yeah. Yes. It's so weird.

It is crazy. To be like, well, let's go. Let's take it up to the top of the chain. To the president. To the pope. And I don't think that like every movie like needs to have an opinion about everything, you know, obviously. But like, I have no idea what this movie's opinion of Catholicism is.

Like at times you're like, oh, yeah, this movie loves the Vatican. And then at times you're like, this movie hates the Vatican. It's like you can't trust the higher ups. They don't know what they're doing. Exactly. Like it's really odd. I feel like the Conjuring universe loves God. Yes i feel like the conjuring universe loves god yes yes conjuring universe loves god and gazebos remember that they love gazebos they love god gazebos and marriage huge lack of gazebo in this film yeah i feel like in the other conjuring movies there's

like a lot of emphasis on like god always wins. God is stronger than the devil fundamentally as a rule. And then the first scene of this movie is like Mother Superior or whatever saying not even God can save us. It's like dragged into a pit. Which is like their whole bag. And like a cross rotating and catching fire. So it's like, OK, so maybe the devil is stronger than God is what I'm getting. But yeah, so the Vatican, we get this hot priest named Burke and he's like very brooding and like. He has experience with exorcisms.

Yeah. And so as far as they know, like it's a, you know, obviously a big sin in the eyes of the church to kill yourself but then for a nun to have killed herself they're like whoa whoa whoa we need to check this abby out we need to see what's going on here she must have been possessed if she did something like this or something must be going on you get the impression that they know that something larger is afoot but they don't want to like say what's like going on they're like oh you know us we're the vatican and it's like you're sending this guy to the like what do you as the vatican get out of being cagey in this situation and you've always said that what do you as a vatican get out of

being cagey it's my tattoo but then they do this thing where they give him like a dossier of this nun, this like different, completely different nun introducing a new character and be like, this is Irene. She's going to help you. You need to go get her, bring her to Romania because she has experience with this area. They say she couldn't just meet him there. There was so many times in this movie was like, I don't know why any of this is Like these like plot lines I'm just Like wait what like did I miss something She have just been there yeah Why couldn't she just meet him there also she's

Not she hasn't taken her vows yet so she Is like still baby none she Hasn't taken her temporary vows I don't think Yes it's like she's it's she's kind Of like one foot in one foot out of being A nun but it's also like he Asks her at some point like so what experience do you have that that is why they're sending you with me and she's like oh no

experience at all and he's like well i guess there's probably a reason and i'm like yes never explained ever they very specifically say like she has experience with the area and then he meets her and goes well well, it's Romania, which of course, you know, because that's what the Vatican told him. And she goes, I've never been to Romania.

I'm sorry if you wasted your journey. It's like, you're an expert. No, I'm not. I'm a duck. Like, I'm actually an astronaut.

It's like, what? And it's like, when you first see her, it's like, she's teaching what I assume is some kind of like religious class or like Sunday school class. And like she's good with kids. But that doesn't matter at all.

That drove me insane, too, is like the establishing shot of like him going to get her is this big, like wiry gate that says St. Vincent's Hospital on it. Oh, there's a hospital. And then it cuts to the interior of a classroom. on it oh and then it cuts to the interior of a classroom establishing shot you see like nuns like helping old people around like it looks like a hospital and then it cuts to a classroom and there's like no explanation of like who are these children why is there a classroom at the hospital and you get the shot of her like she's like telling a Bible. It's like very warm tones. A lot of like nice warm yellows.

And it's like very it's like homey and nice. And she's a say all the kids love her. She's surrounded by 25 of the most precocious children on earth. It's like every single child is like quirky and witty. And she like has these two dinosaur things. And she's like the dinosaurs are going to get you. And one of the kids is like. the dinosaurs are going to get you. And one of the kids is like, that feels contradictory to the Catholic idea.

Well, Emily, that's exactly right. That's exactly. And one of the kids says, oh, but I, sister Irene,

like one mother superior told us that dinosaurs were never real and God just put their bones on earth to test our faith. And then Irene is like, well, I think she's wrong basically

she says the bible is just god's love letter to us and that doesn't mean he doesn't want us to think about things and again it's a moment where you're like okay so this must be this movie's opinion about god and the church they're like the whole there's like you know why now why this film the film is like Well I guess Don't interpret it literally It's more about like What stories can you take away

And then Mother Like the Mother Superior Or whatever The head nun Is like It's very much That shows you

It's like ooh Irene's a rebel nun And Mother Superior Does not like that And she hasn't Taken her vows yet So it's like Is she gonna

Do the nun thing fully, or is she like one foot in, one foot out? Like, she's just trying this out. And that's what they ask her, like, are you gonna do the nun thing for real? Are you gonna commit to being nun? She's gonna keep with some fucking dinosaurs, like, where are you at? But so once we've established that the Conjuring universe

believes in evolution, the Mother Superior is like, there's a man here from the vatican who wants to speak with you a priest and put your put your habit on and she's like very jealous too that it's like yes he wants to talk with you i don't know why and even now everyone's like i don't know why either girl it beats me and so they go through this like they then her and the priest like take this scenic walk through the garden of the hospital school or whatever and he that's when you have the scene of him being like

you're very familiar with the area and she's like no i'm not and he goes oh well off to romania and then it's just like cuts to romania like no no explanation of how they like he goes from the Vatican to America to get her, and then they're in Romania. And this is like the 1950s. Travel's not super. And we learn nothing about her. The only thing we know is she's good with kids, not a nun yet, and believes in evolution. There's nothing important, and none of that matters at all I cannot stress that enough

That it doesn't fucking matter They spent the first 20 minutes It might as well just started the movie Like immediate cut to like This priest and this young gal Are in Romania It doesn't fucking matter I'm so mad

But then Once we're in Romania We get the best scene in the movie. The best line in any film. Which is, so what we see is French, we see, like, Frenchie is seeing the, like, body of this nun, like, that he saw hanging, and, like, a flood of blood, like, very, like, the shining, like, flood of blood comes towards the camera, and he, like a flood of blood like very like the shining like flood of blood comes towards the camera and he like screams and wakes up and he hears like a banging on his door also should be noted that frenchie like his whole vibe it's like he is he's hot frenchie is hot

and um he is i think like a villager he kind of like runs delivery it's like that's why he's familiar with the abbey because he would go and deliver stuff to them i think right sammy i don't know yeah okay so he like hears the knock on the door he goes right to the door and he sees the priest miss uh father burke and sister irene standing in front of the door sister irene is in normal clothes like she's not in a habit or anything yeah and he just goes, turns to the priest and goes, jealous husband or angry father? It's usually one of the two when an older man and a young, beautiful,

not so innocent girl show up on my doorstep at this hour of the morning. That is verbatim the line. It's the wordiest, like, strangest flirting ever. And then, Father Burke is like, she's a nun.

She is innocent. How dare you? And then Frenchie's response is, then forgive me my impure thoughts, sister. I've never seen a nun out of her vestments. Although I'm not opposed to the idea. So Frenchie is like hard. Frenchie talks like AI generated script. This is like the first time he's spoken in the movie

and his like first two lines are him being like a horrible sex pest to this nun. The priest doesn't like hit him or do anything.'s just like okay okay we're here for a reason take us to the body take us to the body and then we get like a little bit of like world building about like this village in romania and frenchie's like uh i can take you there but i don't really want to like i'm the only one in the village who goes there because i'm not from here and all the like actual like romanian people in this village everyone's very scared they don't even like to talk about it and if they say the name like if they talk about the abbey they have to spit on

the ground to ward off demons they're like really serious about how much they don't like talking about this abbey okay and they ask i think I think, like, why he, like, you know, why are you so brave? And he explained, well, one, they're like, who are you? And he's like, call me Frenchie. Everyone does. And then he reveals, and they're like, why? And he's like, well, I'm French-Canadian.

And that's why I'm here. There was no sense of how he, like, it was... Because he just, he doesn't have a French accent whatsoever. He just has. Oh, he does. He does. He does.

He does. He does. Okay. Okay. But he says, he says. Call me Frenchie. Everyone does. Okay.

That helps. I'm French Canadian, but don't tell anyone. It sounds less romantic. And it's like, again, it's like, he can't even say where he's from without it being like a sexual advance. But that, so he's like, I, it's like he can't even say where he's from without it being like a sexual advance. But so he's like, I'm not going back. And then this is with like the father. And then Irene, the nun just goes, oh, please.

And he goes, OK, then he cannot resist. He wants to get it. Yeah, he wants to get it. And so he wants to get it the entire film, the entire film. He wants to get it. And so he wants to get it the entire film, the entire film. He wants to get it from her. His character does not change or grow throughout the movie. And then you get this really like strange. I don't even know if you remember this rally because I did not until I rewatched the movie.

Like this set piece, which feels really out of place to me, which is they're like walking. And like frenchie's like describing how they're gonna get there and there's like a big truck and like the priest and the nun put their bags on the truck oh yes i don't even know how to describe it and then the truck pulls away to reveal frenchie standing by a horse being like where are your bags and then the father's like i put him on the truck It's because the father He was like He's like well we

Couldn't possibly be Going anywhere else So we have to be going In the truck And then the truck Pulls away And then it's like a bit That goes nowhere

Because then obviously They have to stop the truck To bring it back Then Frenchie Bistles And the truck stops And then it like Cuts to them

On his horse Again Like that Didn't fucking matter We didn't It wasn't even funny Like it wasn't even funny like it wasn't even a good bit because it was like you idiot you saw a truck and you thought to put your luggage in there the thing that's the thing that was like so funny about it to me was that like

the way it's shot you think like the way the camera's placed you think frenchie is like getting into the driver's side of the truck like you hear the truck start and like you it like is set up so that you're like oh yeah obviously they're getting the truck. Like you hear the truck start and like you, it like is set up so that you're like, oh yeah, obviously they're getting the truck. And so it like makes sense that he's putting it in. But from where they are, they can see that he's going to the buggy. Like their,

their view of him, it's not obscure. Ours is. And so I'm like, this doesn't even make sense. And so then they're on the, like the car and you get more of him like flirting with her i forget wait sam did he does he say at all like why he's in romania i don't think so no it he does

say now i'm remembering he does say like she's like french canadian how did you get here and he was just like i traveled around a bit and then i got here and i thought yeah these people need my help yes they need me to do what and it's like his whole thing is that he like hangs out at the tavern and sleeps with people's daughters and wives and like gets in trouble i'm like what does this village need from you you sound horrible yeah i mean it was also like kind of like i remember yeah i remember it was like it felt like a duty of, like, these people, they need me to stay here and have sex with their women. And I cannot leave because they need me to stay. And it's just, like, there's no reason why he should be there other than he gets around as probably the hottest, youngest dude in the village.

And the scene where they're, like, trying to convince, the scene before where they're trying to convince him to take them to the Abbey. He's like feeding chickens. He's like wandering around. So it's like he has a farm, but also he's like the delivery driver for the horse. He does all the jobs. Nobody in the town works except for Frenchie. But yeah. And so then eventually the horse stops abruptly and he

gets off and starts tying it up and he's like, we will go the rest of the way on foot. The horse knows that this place is evil or whatever. Oh, this is the line. I wrote it down. We walk the rest of the way. The horse won't go any further. The locals say it's a

cursed place. And the horse agrees. It's like, again, everything is so, like, Google translated, like, needlessly verbose. Like, does not. And the horse agrees. And the horse agrees. It's something I would, like, learn on Duolingo just to have, like, some sort of syntax lesson. Yeah, and so then they're walking through the woods and there's like

crosses everywhere. So many crosses. And then they get to the front of the abbey and the nun's body is gone. And they're like, where's the body?

And Frenchie's like, oh oh i put it in the ice house oh he already moved it he moved it he does everything he moved it he's the coroner he's the farmer i thought it would help with like the comp the decomposition or something and it's like what okay and then after a break of 25 minutes between anything scary happening you get like this creepy shot of them going into the ice house and you just see in the corner the dead nun's body is like sitting up in the corner

that's pretty freaky and then they're like walking towards it and Frenchie goes one more thing I forgot to tell you and it's like, what? Okay. I didn't leave her like that.

She was lying down when I left. One more thing. It's so funny to like stall on that information. I forgot to tell you. How would you? Like as if he wouldn't just walk in and be like, oh, fuck. That is not how I left her. That is not how I left.

Dude, we need to go. This is fucking creepy like one more thing also just like i forgot to tell in just now just now we just went into the ice house exactly that's where it's like ai generated because it's not i forgot to tell you you just found out in real time It's not like you were there before Saw it and was like oh I'm so sorry I should have mentioned she Was not like this earlier It is like a psychotic Response father Burke

Like moves towards the body and it's like well You know Frenchies sometimes Bodies you know there have been cases Where they like twitch around a little bit After their death like with the mortis and i'm like yeah to a full upright seated position where they completely change positions like definitely like to be neatly sitting we were texting we both immediately texted him we're like no there hasn't that hasn't been that and so then the father like he goes over and like, sees that she has this key in her hand.

And he, like, rips open. There's, like, this gross, like, crunch sound. He, like, rips her fingers open and he, like, takes the key out. And they're like, what's that? And he's like, I don't know. Maybe it'll come in handy later. Like, the most just, like, I don't know if you guys felt this way. But for me, it was like, there's no plot.

Like the actual plot. None. None. The actual plot is so basic at this point. It's like, none killed herself. Priest and this guy are going to investigate. Like that's like the plot. And yet there is so much of what feels like shoehorned in exposition.

It's just a dead end yeah like all this stuff about frenchie being french canadian you know like the you're familiar with the area like stuff it's just like what it like never comes back so that was what i was like hanging on to all these threads right that went nowhere so i was confused even though nothing was happening right it was a very like strange i thought i was missing stuff yes that's what i kept thinking like i must be missing things yes but i don't think we did i was also like oh maybe are these all like little easter eggs like allusions all gonna come back in none too it's gonna be a frenchie origin story. So, yeah. And so then.

They go back out into the graveyard, I think. Yes. Because the father is like, we should give her a proper burial. And it's like, OK, sure. It feels like there might be more pressing things to do right now. Let's give her a proper burial. And so they go out and they are in the graveyard. So many crosses. So, so many crosses.

So much fog. So much fog. So much fog. They start digging and Frenchies digging. And it's like 10 a.m. And it's like the ground is covered like Party City fog machines are in like five spots

along the ground. It's crazy. Sammy, I really didn't notice it until you said it. I know 100% the movie is sponsored by fog machines. It's insane.

Just truly every scene I wrote down, wow, it's like this fog machine's really working overtime. It's worth all $22 million. And in broad daylight, like gorgeous sunny day in a field. Yep. Yeah. And Frenchie is like doing all of the, like he's digging a hole so that they can bury this nun. And it's like, Frenchie does every job what's his job like he agreed to take them

there he didn't agree to take them there and then just like be their footman for the next 12 hours but then Irene notices that there's like a bunch of bells tied to all of the graves there's like bells on them and Father Burke explains

that that was for during the plague, people would be buried alive and like people were afraid of being buried alive. Horror movies love to use this trope. Yes, I love it. I love it. And it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's because they're not really dead, maybe. The bell might ring. Which, that is my worst nightmare because I definitely am claustrophobic. The thought of being buried alive. Awful. So I'm like thank God for the bells. It would be bad. I mean it wouldn't be awful.

Yeah put that in my death plan. Is that what it's called? What's it called when you like have to tell people whether you want to be cremated or not? You want to be buried alive. I want to be buried alive. And to put a little bow there so I can really freak somebody out. Don't pull the plug. Put me in a box.

Just put me straight in a box and put me six feet under. Bury me alive. Make sure there's a bell for sure. As long as I have my weighted blanket, I think I'm fine. I genuinely, like, I think it would be kind of cozy. Like, weighted blanket. I genuinely like I think it would be kind of cozy like weighted blanket just like I've had several MRIs in my life which I think is the closest I'll get to being buried alive and that was a pretty that was a pretty unpleasant experience it's just the loudest the loudest coughing you've ever been

but yeah so Irene learns about the bells and she's like that's cool She goes oh that's freaky I wonder if much like the key That will come back later There's like so many things that they're just like Well pay attention to this Chekhov's bells It's amazing how they have stuff that's like so heavy handed Like the bells in case someone's Not dead and they're buried

Oh what is this key At the same time as they're being like you must know the area it's like it's somehow super important information if not hit over the head too much mixed with nonsense yeah and like again like all the yeah little also little things that feel like red herrings where you're like well surely that's gonna come back and then it like never goes anywhere and you're like was that intentional or was that just for an old draft? Did we just forget to cut that line? And so then they're like, OK, we buried her.

Time to get back to business. And they go up to the front steps like where she hung herself. And there's a pool of blood. And Father Burke reaches down and he like pokes it and it's like still wet. Really thought he was going to lick it. I thought so too. Really thought he was going to be like

He dips his fingers in and then he goes and his fingers like hover He like tests the viscosity of it. They hover by his face like as if he's like looking at it and he might just like sneak a little taste of it. Sammy, I'm so glad you also thought that was good because it was too close to his mouth that he's he's like looking at it and he might just like sneak a little taste of it

sammy i'm so glad you also thought it was good because it was too close to his mouth that he's gonna like test it he's really this is what we do yeah at the vatican again it's like we as the audience like we know that she's been dead for a couple weeks you see the wet blood you're immediately like yeah that's not right that's not supposed to be there but the the the movie can't resist having french she say but she killed herself multiple weeks ago and yet there is wet blood like there's this like incredible my god like incredibly expositiony line like explaining to us that it's like not normal to have blood linger for weeks and weeks and weeks after somebody's dead I gotta say though Frenchie says What's the opposite of a miracle father

Which is a line That I feel like they said In nope also It's a bad miracle What's the opposite of a miracle A bad one Sorry the opposite Of a miracle is a bad miracle

Yep Tragic to learn that Nope was plagiarized From The Nun Just have to note that Jordan Peele clearly copied this movie Absolutely plagiarized But again that's the one moment where they don't try and Shoehorn a witty response in

Because Father Burke doesn't respond It just cuts away From that scene it's like what's the opposite of a miracle boom and it oh okay sure and then we go in the building and i think one of the first things that happens is we see the like wait how do you say abbas abbas abbas yeah i had not heard that word before it's kind of a cool word i mean it's abby it makes sense abyss she's like the head person there um and she's so clearly a ghost like instantly you're just like this is not a real person and they're all like they're just like hello wow talking to

her as if she's not like so obviously a ghost she's like in like a habit but also a veil so it's like she's in this black like head to toe thing there's like no exposed skin she doesn't move even an inch like she's so stiff still and she has this like scary gravelly voice and yeah they just have a totally normal conversation where they're like, oh, excuse me, Mother, would you mind if we take a look around? And the Mother Superior is like clearly like, no, I don't like this. Go away. Well, she's also very confused as to like why Frenchie's there. They all are.

They all are. Everyone is. But I think wasn't it because it's like they're like, we want to see Mother Superior. And she's like, no. They're like, why? It's like there's it's like a day of silence or something they're all in prayer they take a vow of silence from sunset to sunrise yes come back tomorrow and like you can stay back tomorrow in the building whatever yeah so like obvious ghostly feature of her is that like she seems to know things about them like the father

introduces them and it's like oh this is uh sister irene and then the abbess is like but she hasn't taken her vows yet have you sister and irene is like how how did she know that this is a ghost this is a demon and again it's like it's not like with the other Conjuring movie. I mean, you have like, you know, the Ed and Lorraine. Is that right? Yes. And like their ghost experts, obviously. But Father Burke's like whole character is introduced at like that Vatican scene is like he's the Vatican's like top investigator. He like knows everything there is to know about demons and exorcisms and miracles and like anything supernatural that could possibly happen.

And so the idea that he doesn't immediately walk in and just go, that's a ghost. That is a ghost. I have seen a lot of ghosts. And that is one. Instead, he's just like, Mother Superior was kind of an asshole. She was not very social. Kind of weird vibes from her Kind of weird they have them stay

In like yeah I think it's like a building Either adjacent to the Convent or part of it but The lighting is on point they got some like Nice red lighting in this room It already looks weird like Again every sign that this is an Evil place and he's like we better rest up

For the night like it's just and then like as night is falling frenchie is like okay uh i'm gonna head out i don't like this i never liked this i don't know why i came and father burke is like that's fine you can go just come back in a few days by then we will have figured this out and it's like okay that's suitably vague don't make don't make a real plan just say come back in a couple days yeah um and yeah and so then uh frenchie you get all these like oh that's right the sequence of frenchie going back he goes through the he goes through the graveyard sure and oh he sees a nun like in in the distance in the graveyard and follows her hello she's like calling after this nun gotta make sure she gets back to the con but she might be lost is it the nun who killed herself yes so he follows it and then finds uh the nun who has killed herself like hanging

the same corpse hanging in the woods where the graveyard is and like looks up at it and it falls down on him and attacks him and i burst out laughing it's so funny she looks so crazy she's like a like a zombie i don't know something about it was so hilarious to me well and yeah and there's like the the like the way that it cuts from like seeing her fall to like smushing on top of him it's very very comical and then he just runs away she chases him around a little bit but then i remember watching him being very confused by the motive because like she could have killed him or like did something. And nothing even happened really from that interaction.

It just I was like, oh, she just wanted to give him a little scare. She just gave him a little scare. And that was it. Like and then he ran away. And he gets away. He escapes. So he he crawls away. And then look, there's like this shot where the camera like pans left and right to show you that he's looking at all the crosses. And then the nun is like oh

oh he got me because he's surrounded by crosses which is again like he sees the 25 minutes ago she was like using crosses as part of her act like turning the crosses upside down was like her whole shtick and now she's like scared of them and so frenchie realizes this and again it's like we've realized it we know frenchie's realized it but the movie can't resist oh my god so he pulls one out of the ground and goes like carries it with him you're coming with me he literally says outside like i'm taking this one like it's the most like on the nose like unnecessary and then like that ends that like scene ends so we're just supposed to assume that this one. Like it's the most like on the nose, like unnecessary. And then like that ends,

that like scene ends. So we're just supposed to assume that like by carrying this like janky wooden cross on his back, that the like all powerful demon nun is like, well, he's got a wooden cross. He's off limits. Okay. I know when I've been beat.

Touche Frenchie. Like it's, it's, it. Okay, I know when I've been beat. Touché, Frenchie. It's pretty kooky. Then we go back inside with, I think this is the same night when we see Sister Irene and Father Burke talking. And this is where she talks about her visions. Yes, yes, yes. So she walks in and he's doing a crossword puzzle which was just like a detail that is so again so unnecessary but he throughout the movie from this point on will say the word puzzle about a dozen times but then they just start chatting and she's like oh

so what do you do exactly for the Vatican? And he's like, oh, I do like exorcisms and stuff. And she's like, oh, so you must know Cardinal so-and-so. And he's like, wait, how do you know Cardinal so-and-so? It's like a little networking moment. And she's like, oh, well, when I was a kid, I had all these spooky, scary visions and the church got involved because I was being possessed. And it's like, definitely feels like-

Really carried the lead on the way here of like, why are you involved? I don't know why they called me. That's the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me. We're supposed to believe that he traveled all the way to America to get her, got her from America, and then the two of them went all the way from America to Romania and then traveled. Going from Italy to America back to Romania is a real crazy journey.

And at no point did that come up that when she was a kid, she used to have spooky, scary visions and that like that's part of her whole origin deal. Anyway, and so then he's like what were these visions which is the scene that you see in the trailer and in the trailer she goes well i kept seeing a nun and in the movie she just goes yeah they were different every time but they always ended the same way i would wake up and i would just have this thought stuck in my head of Mary points the way. I was like, what kind of escape room bullshit? Mary point is such a riddle. And it's like, OK, it's so shocking how much it's just like, I don't know.

Here's something that we can maybe work in later at a critical moment. And it's like if she had said, oh, it was a nun. Every night I saw a nun. You'd be like, oh, OK, sure. I can see that. But it's like, again, it's like, yeah, this little like dropping a hint for later that may or may not be picked back up. which is that he did an exorcism one time in France after the war or during the war, I think, where there was this little boy. And you see it like as he's telling it, it's like a little boy who was possessed by a demon. And there's like, again, like scary shot where it's like you're in a you see him going into a barn and there's like a little boy

like 10 year old boy like tied up in the barn and he's like daniel what have they done to you daniel daniel and daniel's like and he's like clearly possessed um and father burke what have they done to you as if he doesn't know why he's there. Or like, why have you tied this boy up? What have they done to you? This boy that I know and have been sent here to get the demon out of has been tied up. Oh my god, this is inhumane. Get him out of those.

And so then he does the exorcism. And the kid dies. It like kills the kid. His wounds from the exorcism are so severe that he dies baggage and he's like father burke has a lot of guilt about this but then he like drops this little line in where he's like but the church was happy with the result like the fat like everyone was pleased so i guess it was okay and again you, okay, so now the movie hates the church. I get that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The movie hates the church. So now that you have both of their tragic backstories. Oh, I remember there was like, that was the other thing.

When they were on the horse and buggy at the beginning going to the convent, he's doing a crossword puzzle. Yeah. And he like says out loud, like 10 letter word for thing the mailman does. And like Irene goes, deliveries. And he's like, very good. And it's like, what an unnecessary little set piece thing. But yeah. And so after that drama bonding, they're like, well, time for bed.

But yeah, and so after that drama bonding, they're like, well, time for bed. And Sammy, I don't remember what happens after they go to bed. I just wrote that. So Father Burke, I think, just hears noises and is following. There's a lot of like hallway exploring in the middle of the night by yourself. He goes through a series of creepy setups. One room has all the sheets hung up conjure the first conjuring had like that very creepy sheet scare and so he's just going through these rooms where you're like something bad is gonna happen and then i think he's seeing like

the ghost of daniel and kind of following that and he follows it right out into that graveyard and he's yeah and so then he chases the the boy daniel and he's like daniel wait and there is a scary moment that legitimately a little like jump scared me the first time i watched it where he like follows through the sheets daniel it's like a dead end and then daniel's gone and then you see like there's like a quick like whip around of the camera and he like gets tapped on the shoulder and he like turns around and there's nothing there but you like see the hand tap him on the shoulder and i was like that that was very conjuring very well done like i liked that moment uh but then you see daniel running away through the courtyard and the like 10 year old boy actor like is like walking on

rocks and he's like walking in a really funny way to me like he clearly is like uncomfortable and so he's like kind of like dance running like on his tippy toes because he's a 10 year old it's the middle of the night and he's being asked to run across like a field of gravel and so like just this like actual scary moment followed immediately by the funniest little like jester jig through a field um and so then like uh yeah father burke follows him to the graveyard and eventually gets like tackled into an empty grave who could have seen it coming here we go the lid of the coffin shuts and then the camera pans like up and you see a headstone which says here lies father burke and it's like the most like i was thought the same thing and i'm like none none or

frenchie is just out here like carving in that gravestone early and yeah it felt really i don't know like goosebumps ass very goofy um and then the camera keeps going up and you see that the grave is filled and there's like grass over it so it's like he's like fully sealed like he's been buried alive by being tackled by demon but he's like ringing this bell furiously I'm yelling for Irene to hear him. And Irene does wake up. She goes outside barefoot, crazy. Just walking around barefoot in a graveyard at nighttime. In the fog. In the fog.

And she's in a nasty nightgown. You better believe she is. Oh, yeah. You know, it's itchy. You know that shit is itchy. But then she ends up in the graveyard And all the bells are ringing And she's like I can't possibly figure out Which one he's in

And then she has like this that's so raven That's so raven style Like where everything goes like a little out of focus And she like gets a flash of where he is And she can like focus on his voice And she like goes to his grave Which is also crazy Because there is the headstone that

says his name and it was like you know she's like I couldn't possibly know which one is him. Could have just read. Okay so she has superpowers. That never come back again. No. Oh okay. That's just one moment. The one time she has a that's so Raven vision. It's a very specific superpower. It's

finding one person in the grave. Yeah she doesn't need it again. If there's a lot of bells ringing, you find the source and that's the power. But so she locates it and starts digging up the grave. And it's so crazy. She gets to the coffin. Meanwhile, we're seeing Burke inside the coffin, like getting scared like some he's sensing something in there with him and we're like oh what's gonna come out he's like looking down at his feet and it's seeming

creepy in there and she's digging as fast as she can and she gets to the coffin and just like slams the shovel straight through it like right where his head would be and i'm like do you know like what how a coffin works like right at his nose and it really oh my god it made me laugh so much so stupid the dumbest way to open a coffin just like slam a shovel in the head spot to break it open right there she does it multiple times like she's like banging on it and she can't get it and you see him like lying in the coffin and like somehow like hands come from like behind him even though he's in the coffin

and he's getting like attacked by the nun and she's just beating on it repeatedly. He's getting attacked from both sides. Oh also he lights a, he puts on a lighter and so already I'm like wasting oxygen like and just to see what's going on. he's wasting

all his oxygen none is in the coffin with him clearly um and he almost obviously not by even hitting him in the face with a shovel and he gets out and they like can see in the coffin below where he was there's bones and a bunch of books and he says maybe those books will help shine a light on our answer and again they are the like prop books are the most like crypt keeper goofy prop book like scooby-doo looking ass Look like they've been like bejeweled with a glue gun. Like, don't look like they've been buried underground for hundreds of years. Like, it's ridiculous. We cut to the next day and Irene goes into the Abbey.

I think she's the only one allowed in because it's cloistered, which is such a funny word. I don't know why that was really making me laugh. Cloistered only. Cloistered only. Excuse me. Hey. Cloistered, which is such a funny word. I don't know why that was really making me laugh. Cloistered only. Cloistered only. Excuse me. Hey. Cloistered only. Which again, though, I would like, I'd love to investigate, like, talk to a cardinal about

this. It's like, but she's not a nun. Right. She hasn't taken her vows. She hasn't actually taken her vows. So how is she allowed in there? Cloistered adjacent. Cloistered adjacent.

Yeah, that's right. It's like, all you need to do is be like, oh, but I'm going to. No, no, no. It's in the mail. I totally will. It's just me in. So she goes into the Abbey and sees other nuns praying and she meets this nun Sister Oana who

says that they pray in shifts, I guess, to keep the evil at bay. Non-stop. Non-stop praying. 24-7 praying.-stop non-stop praying and tells her 24 7 praying 24 7 praying and tells her that the abbey was built in the middle ages and and i guess the duke that used to live there summoned a demon and yeah no reason why and was able to was able to seal it back up after he summoned this demon and kept it at bay using the blood of Christ.

But then the bombings during World War II reopened the seal. Well, and you do, though, you get, like, in, like, you're seeing this flashback of him, like, summoning the body. And there's, like, five dead bodies hanging upside down like bleeding yeah and he like it forms a pentagram and the blood pools and that's how he summons the demon and then you get this shot of crusaders busting through the door and like knights of the temple are like tunics yes and you're like oh straight from medieval times 7 p.m show this movie's take is now the crusades were good they think we need more of that energy in 2023 the crusades the literal blood of christ like

they have a vial with the blood of christ that seals the the gate to this demon yep this is now reminding me of vampire diaries a little bit, which I'm into. You're on board. So you're back in. Yeah. There's so much, there's so much Crip ceiling with blood that happens in that show.

It's a major plot point. So I just love that. It's like, why does this Roman random small village, Romanian church have the blood of Christ just lying around is lying around in this tiny vial and yeah yeah whatever whatever whatever doesn't matter but yeah so again the crypt gets unsealed during the war um and this is like set in like the early 50s so it's it's recent like this has only happened in the last like 10 years or whatever

um but yeah so that they're all praying in shifts to keep the hole closed i guess yeah it's yeah and meanwhile father burke goes to talk to the abbess i don't know why i can't say it. I second guess it every time I say it. That was correct. And is asking her about the key. Also, Irene is showing Sister Awana the key and being like, what's this key for? Did we have this key? Don't know what it's for. Father Burke's trying to ask the Abbas about it. And this is where he does find out that she is a ghost.

Finally. How does he figure it out? I can't remember now exactly how the conversation goes. He sees her like talking to him and then she's like, but you're too late! And then the body like deflates a little bit and he like goes up to it and he's like, hmm.

He's kind of fishy. He's like, Abbas? It sounds like he's bones broke when the body collapses. He's still like, maybe she's in there. So he's going to lift the veil. And then an arm shoots out of the robe and grabs his wrist. He pulls it back and the whole arm comes with it. And so he's just got an arm dangling off his wrist.

And he's like, still can't put his finger on it. He's like, something's weird about her. And then he's like, huh, that poor mother superior or whatever just died in such a tragic and strange way. Low bone density. And then he goes to consult the Goosebumps volume six that he got from the grave. And there are photos of not photos drawings of none and he just like out loud goes valak like he like puts it together that it's the demon valak that has inhabited this nun needs a vessel vessel and then we get a scene where frenchie

back again in a tavern back in the village. And he's like having a drink and he's like trying to forget all about this nun business. Still holding his cross. Yep. And he's talking to the bartender who's like, didn't you hear the so-and-so's daughter killed herself last week or like last night or something like that? And he's like, what? That's so sad. And the bartender's like yeah she hung herself and he's like that like makes him do a double take he's like hung herself that makes me think of the hung body that i found must be connected and again

you're like you as the audience you're like oh i get it yeah like the church has like negative energy that's like affecting this village that makes sense but it can't leave it alone and so the bartender has this crazy monologue where he's like the actor is selling it like 150 he is so intense and he's like, it was that damn Abbey. That was what did it. And he like spits on the ground. He does. Like, it's like the most comical thing. And like, he's like, yes, the Abbey is evil and it's haunting.

I wish that place was never here. The way they talk about it is like young teens loitering. It's like the way that this really religious town it's like those damn nuns and that damn church why are they here we need to run them out of town which is crazy maybe you guys should move exactly but they're also not wrong i mean it sounds like no they're not wrong no it is very much bad energy is making people kill themselves For vessels For vessels

But it also just like that scene again I was just wondering I was like what is Frenchie's Thing like what does he do here The bartender is confiding In him like he's like Such a part of this community But all we know About him is that he sleeps with people's wives

like that's not that doesn't seem like a pillar of the community this is not adding up but then he decides he's like i'm frenchy i'm so noble i gotta go back and save burke and irene that that's what i have to do um so he's like I'm going I'm taking my cross with me There's kind of like a series Of spooky Things I feel like Irene Has like a Dream sequence that she

Wakes up from and then there's like A spooky nun in her Room and It Says she like whispers god save you to her and it's truly just irene getting bad vibes they haven't even debriefed on the fact that like father burke was buried alive like that is really it feels like that is not talked about ever again she saved him and then they're like well that was weird back to business how did that happen i know the like traditional

what i think like the conjuring sort of formula where it's like scary happens at night then during the day you recover and you plan for the night scary happens at night like that doesn't happen in this movie it just like they show up night falls and like pretty much all of this happens i think in one night yeah like they're just it's just one like prolonged like escalating haunting yeah but it gets more and more convoluted and frankly less scary the more that happens because it's the same scare over and over again it's like oh there's a nun in the corner hallways with a nun in the corner and like whispering and irene is just kind of like catching bad vibes and that's kind of

it for at least 10 minutes yep and she like ends up in this chapel with all these other nuns and again we just like we're praying harder and harder this like evil energy is getting stronger somehow we all know that and i don't know why and uh they're they're all praying and uh and at some point they're all like thrown by an invisible force and only irene isn't injured like all the nuns are like all flung around the room it's pretty fun they like pillars falls it's like very but she has to keep praying she stays the demons just like getting stronger

like that's what's happening basically because fewer and fewer people are praying and it's like because they're dying wait why because the nun is like messing them up yeah like knocking them over and like it's very unclear it's very unclear knocking them over can't pray if they're knocked over playing bowling with nuns and just they're like oh

she's the last one praying and then like her shirt gets ripped open yes and you get a shot of her from behind her back and it's like a pentagram is being drawn in her back like but like burned into her back like scarred into her back but she keeps praying she's still is praying and doesn't stop she is the none of them all she is theniest. She's crying and praying and terrified and praying. And then eventually you hear Burke like banging on the door of the chapel. And he's like, Irene, Irene, Irene, let me in, let me in. And she gets up and lets him in. Yeah, I think so. She just drops the prayer there.

She's like, well, I better let him in. She can't pray and walk at the same time I think one of the other nuns Maybe gets up Oh was it like Sister Awana or something Yeah Sister Awana gets back up After getting knocked against a pillar And is like I'll take this shit

You go let the guy in You go let him in And so like she goes and lets him in She's like out of breath And she's like Oh the nuns and I have been Have been praying so hard. We're trying to keep this.

Listen, we've been talking and something seems weird. And he's like, what nuns? And of course, we turn around. The room is empty except for her. There are nuns. What? There are bodies lying around. And she's like, oh, these poor.

I think there's just one, right? That just got killed. Yeah. And it's like oh these poor i think there's just one right that that just got killed yeah and it's like under a sheet yes and then she like lifts the sheet up and its body is like desiccated like it's been dead for months right and so it's like oh so all the nuns were in her just in her head and that's also her superpower. Or like a demon, like a demon made that, the demon made that vision happen or something. I think it was that they, that that was like.

That God helped her. That that was God being like, I'm gonna give you these like spirit nuns as like your vision quest guide to like help you. Right. And then the like dead nun that they're looking at

and she's like wait but it was just alive like jumps back to life and starts like grabbing at her and there's this like really gnarly part where uh father burke takes a cross that's like metal um and he like starts doing an exorcism on this dead nun and the the the cross like heats up and is like red hot and he's still like holding on to it um and like burning her with it and eventually she lights on fire and he drops it and he's like my fucking hand i should have worn my exorcism gloves like did not think ahead but then also frenchie comes back in and yeah like he has a shotgun and he shoots it shoots it and that does the trick okay and so they kind of decide

first i think frenchie wants to leave and irene is like no no no the evil is free and it would need to possess a human soul to leave and they like realize that it wasn't a suicide in the beginning, that it was a sacrifice that she was preventing the lock from having a vessel. And it's like presented as if it's this huge reveal. Obviously we've known that the entire movie. The entire time. Yeah.

We saw it. Um, so she kind of tells them the plan, like, I don't know how she got All this information I guess from Sister Oana Maybe but she's like we need to seal the gateway With the

Oh yeah I think it's like She puts it together partly from what Oana Said and then like he's put Burke has put it together from his books And it's like together they like They solve the puzzle. They do the puzzle.

Yeah. There's a part where he sees his crossword on the floor and like zooms in on the word deliveries. And he's like deliveries and like thinks about the room where the deliveries are delivered. And for some reason, somehow that factors into, I guess, the location of where this gateway is. Kelly's face is pure shock.

I couldn't believe it. It's so confusing. Is this when she takes, she does take her vows at some point. Oh, yes. I think it is like right now. I think she's like, she's like, you know, they're like, are you sure you want to do this and she's like yeah she's like I know

that like this or going through this has really strengthened my like I know that I need to be part of the church and essentially she's like I need to level up holiness wise to be able to do this. Before this final battle. Yes and so to beat the boss nun she like

she takes her vows and frenchie is like he can't resist he cannot resist he needs one more pass at her to be like are you sure you want to do this so he goes he looks at her and he like gets a big grin and he goes now sister that is a noble act but it is a shame yeah and he's like's like, I'm married to Jesus now. Yeah. And so I think it's like Father Berg or something is like the most beautiful bride

I've ever seen. Like she's getting married to God. And so she's now like a nun. She did it. He gave her, he helped her with her vows. And now she's like, now I can beat nun.

Okay, great. That was the central tension of the film and it's now been resolved. Whether she was going to take her vows or not, now she's like now i can beat none okay great that was the central tension of the film and it's now been resolved whether she was gonna take her vows or not now she's taking them yeah everyone was wondering and these aren't like her temporary vows she's taking like the full vows you can just do that on the spot i love that there needs no preparation you're just like right now let's just do it right now yeah i'm good okay and so they set off on their plan that I didn't really understand. They know that the gateway is in the catacombs.

And so they go down to try to find it. But the door for it is like not where they think that it is. And she's for some reason like it should be right here. What the heck? And I'm like, where did she get this information? I don't remember this happening. Yeah. And from vision, should be right here. What the heck? And I'm like, where did she get this information? I don't remember this happening. Yeah. And from vision, I guess a vision, but she's like certain that the door should be here,

but it's not. And father Burke looks at a statue of Mary pointing and goes, Mary points the way. Wow. Wow. This movie is using the whole buffalo actually i've decided and we follow where mary is pointing to a keyhole in the wall and she uses that key wouldn't you know her visions had a point all along wow this door and we find the gateway and

i remember like checking the time stamp like a lot during this movement at this point specifically. Make sure you watch till the end. This is when they're like, make sure. Keep going. You watch till the end. Please, please, please. You're going to hit a low. I swear to God, you will.

But like you have to see the end. Just keep going. And just like thinking like how the fuck are there 25 minutes left? Like this feels like we are so wrapped up. Like, yeah, final battle. final battle bang boom the nun's gone like yeah let's let's go home but it's like just drags and drags and drags yeah with like the nun tackles somebody and then they shove her off and then tackles somebody else and they shove her there's like a scene where there's a bunch of nuns with like bags on their heads and frenchie

comes in and like yes has his shotgun and like He's going to shoot one He doesn't know which one is the real one They have recovered the blood of Christ They have the little vial of Blood and Great Frenchie finds Irene Seemingly possessed

He pulls the bag off of her head She's all nunny scary Lunges at him him pins him to a wall and yeah none has got none has possessed irene and uh so she's like about to kill him and she says this was devastating she says a village is about to be missing its idiot tomorrow a village will be missing its idiot doesn't she also say something like like really like weirdly

personal of like aren't you regretting that you've never done anything with your life or something like that yeah like something weirdly like okay what we've established so much about Frenchie but not that yeah but what we did establish does come back because she says you should have run when you had the chance frenchman

yeah he says i'm french canadian and uses some of the blood of christ to what i don't know how he got it out of this vial which seems like it's not the kind of vial that you can just like take a little bit it's kind of like a smash right to this vial, which seems like it's not the kind of vial that you can just like take a little bit. It's kind of like a smash to access the blood type of thing. But it's like a glow stick. You snap it. Yeah. But somehow he got a little bit of it and wipes it on Irene's forehead.

And this expels Volokh from her. But then Irene turns back to see Volokh now trying to attack Frenchie, obviously, and trying to change vessels. But then the nun flings her back into another room filled with water. A weird pool sequence. Oh, God, the water. The water. I was just like, no. Now, like, is it the fog didn't make it hard enough to see what was going on now

like people are being water plunged in and out of like you know it's muddy water also I do want to say like I think it shows amazing restraint on the screenwriters part that when Frenchie was pinned up against the wall he didn't say like no usually I would like this I was waiting for that This isn't how I thought this would go So they didn't do that Which I have to say is to their credit Because that would have been in keeping with every other moment of the movie And then none Like Valak and Irene are fighting

In this pool And it's just like We've already had the fight And like Father Burke is in his own fight with a little demon Daniel boy. It has like a snake and the snake bites him on the eye. On the eye? It's just like. Again, it's like it comes out of nowhere.

It comes out of nowhere. They're fighting in the water. And we see Irene is being pushed under like she's drowning and she has the little vial in her hand but she can't quite get she like brings it to her but then drops it drops it and it kind of like floats away and volokh or the nun like sees that it's floating at the surface so she thinks thinks like, I got it. Like she can't get me with the blood of Christ. No more Jesus blood.

I win. Imagine having a vial with Jesus Christ's blood in it and losing it. You'd feel pretty silly. Yeah, I'd feel really silly. But so the nun raises Irene by her throat thing. And like, Irene looks like past that,

like she's lost consciousness drowning and she's about to possess her again. And Irene wakes up. She was faking it. And she spits the blood of Christ into the nun's face. She had broken the violin to her mouth. She had the blood of Christ in her mouth. In her mouth. In broken glass.

Spit take right onto nun. Oh my God. Yeah. That is very upsetting. I loved it. I was really thrilled by that Part Yeah so then Nun is vanquished

Nun's done Nun's done That was it that's all it took She gets like sucked back underground And we see them like She bandages Father Burke's Snake bite Yeah

Yeah He also has bandages on his hand from when he he's pretty banged up and they're just basically like packing up and getting ready to go back home like our work here is done thank god that's all the day's work time to go another vatican files case closed just another day in the life of father burke yeah yeah and they get back on the little buggy with um frenchie oh i think frenchie's like my name's maurice for some reason like who cares oh because frenchie was... Okay. Who cares? And she says, Thank you for saving my life, Maurice. And they all get back in the car, little buggy to go home. And we see Frenchie rubbing his neck

and camera zooms in and he's got a little upside down cross, like burn or like skin scar or something. And so I guess we're to presume that he has been possessed and again to to let us know that that is the case we get a shot it's kind of fun they like tie it back to the original conjuring the way that we are introduced to ed and lorraine oh right because it's a prequel yeah so we're introduced to ed and Lorraine Oh right because it's a prequel So we're introduced to Ed and Lorraine In the first Conjuring

By them giving a lecture about The stages of possession or whatever And demons And so we find out that Frenchie is the guy That is in the video That they're teaching to class So it didn't end well for Frenchie I think he died

And I think you see caroline from the conjuring like in the audience like i think there's like a shot of her watching yeah it's like half using the footage from straight from the conjuring with like reshoots to make it frenchy because it definitely wasn't actually him okay that's kind of fun i liked that part but again it was like it's the most like loosely tied prequel like at no point would you have needed to watch any of the previous four conjuring universe films to understand what was happening like it just felt so like shoehorned and like forced. It was, I was exhausted by it. I wanted to be scared. I wanted to have, I wanted it to be that.

And it wasn't. I think one issue with demon movies in general is that when the demon just kind of shows up with like no backstory or like no connection to any of the characters or like no reason to be there. And it is scary, but it's like who okay it's just a floating evil entity that provides no like sustenance to the rest of the storyline and so you're like okay that none is scary but like oh that's it like there's nothing else there's nothing else going on well and it it has no it has no motivation like no agenda and a lot of like haunting demon you know stories you get like she was killed by her husband and so now she wants to take revenge on these people like she just is there to like be around fuck around like yeah

she's just an evil clown who just wants to watch the world burn. It's like so not satisfying. Like, because it's like what you want is like a Megan. You know what I mean? Where it's like her wants are so clear and established in every scene. Her motivation, it's like she's evil, but she's like, you kind of sympathize with her. So the movie, the movie just ends, right?

No, no, no. Yes. Credits. Yes. Ed and Lorraine's lecture ends yep yep and that's it and that's the nun wow and that's the nun and i wonder where nun two is gonna go i mean you can only imagine i have no clue i know so irene is coming back i don't know if Father Burke is. I would assume so. But yeah, maybe what I would love would just be like an anthology like TV show that was just Sister Irene and Father Burke X-Files.

Detectives. Yeah. Every week they find a different demon. Yeah. Great. And do a crossword puzzle. It becomes like a buddy comedy. Exactly.

A vessel comedy. The crossword puzzle always somehow has a thing that was a crazy tie in I still don't understand it deliveries I don't either somehow yeah I don't know I don't know how that okay worked all right well okay

I'm exhausted exhausted all over again. Thank you for taking that on for us. Of course. You guys knocked it out of the goddamn park. You really did. Wow. With the release.

Thank you guys for having us and nunning around with us. Do you think you could watch it knowing? Yes. Yes. I think that I could watch it. I think that I would prefer for it to be on in the background while I'm at a party. Sure. That is absolutely how it

should be watched. Yeah. Yes. It'd be fun for At A Party to be like, oh, look, look, look, it's Nun. And then... So anyway, keep going. Why? Like, you know, it doesn't matter. Yeah. This really does make me very curious for none too i'm like what if they make none too like incredible what if it's so scary scariest movie that has

ever been it could happen it could probably won't but it could i'll see it i'll be seeing it we'll see what happens yeah remains to be seen i'm curious um well tell us a bit about review review and anything else that either of you would like to plug or promote where people can find you all that good stuff well review review is a lot like the nun review review is it is an improv a long form improv comedy podcast where we take reviews about truly literally anything from Amazon to places On Yelp like anything and anywhere We read reviews

From people who've reviewed those things and then we do Long form improv based on those reviews And we've had very Fun guests on if you Want to come check those out we've had Ben Schwartz we've had Lauren Lapkus Used to be hosted by Jeffrey James Jeff has come on.

So a lot of good times. We don't talk about him. We don't talk about him. We don't talk about him. I host the show now. Yeah, Al likes to just imagine that that never happened. The three years of the show don't exist. They don't exist.

But yeah, so come check it out. Improv, the coolest form of comedy. Definitely. Yeah. And then Jeff and I do sketches on the HeadGum YouTube. Those come out every other Tuesday, I believe. We write and act in those. And then I'm on Instagram, Riley and Spa.

Okay. R-E-I-L-L-Y-A-N-S-P-A-U-G-H. And I'm on Twitter at Riley Coyote, R-E-I-L-E, and then Coyote spelled like Coyote. Spell it. I don't want to because I don't know how. I don't think you know how. Yeah, and I'm just going to plug Review Review again. Yeah. Please give it a try.

You know what I mean? Make sure you listen to the end. Make sure you listen to the end. Listen to the end. Listen to the end. Start playing. Keep listening. What if at the beginning of every show,

we just put a thing in that said, please listen to the ads. Please listen to the ads. I know you're going to be tempted to skip, but just listen and go to the link. You don't even need to buy anything. Just go to the link. But yeah, you can also find me on Instagram at AlfredInnit, Alfred, I-N-N-I-T.

If you live in Chicago, Illinois, I do live shows from time to time. And I'll post about those on Instagram. And you'll know how to go to them and give me money in person. Hell yeah. Gotta love money. i love it um the nun sure does because it made so much more the nun gets it the nun gets it but yeah thank you guys this was such a blast thank you guys thank you for being here so much fun um we usually end by uh doing a voice i feel like there were a few good voices i guess french accent to take us out french french from all of us here at too scary didn't watch oh that was really good that was terrible thank you my friends for listening

to another episode of Too Scary Didn't Watch if you had fun hanging with us don't forget to subscribe rate and review on Apple Podcasts and Spotify we're also on Twitter and Instagram at TSDW Podcast and if you're interested in things like bonus episodes, video trailer reactions, and other cool content, head on over to patreon.com slash TSDW Podcast.

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