Too Scary; Didn't Watch - THE ORPHANAGE with Mano Agapion

Episode Date: July 1, 2020

A seaside orphanage, children in masks (double whammy), and an incredibly tired husband - we're recapping J.A. Bayona's 2007 film The Orphanage! Mano Agapion (Drag Her!, We Love Trash, Horny 4 Horror) joins us to talk about this terrifying yet beautiful Spanish fantasy-horror. Grab your horror bingo cards cuz this movie does it ALL! Follow the show: @TSDWpodcast on Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram. Check out our Patreon for bonus episodes and additional content! Rate Too Scary; Didn’t Watch 5 Stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Emily, Henley, and Sammy. Advertise on Too Scary; Didn't Watch via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is Emily, Henley, and Sammy, and you're listening to Too Scary, Didn't Watch. Hi, everyone. Welcome to Too Scary, Didn't Watch, the horror movie recap podcast for those too scared to watch for themselves. I'm Emily, and I am too scared to watch scary movies. I'm Henley, and I am also too scared to watch scary movies. I'm Sammy, and I like watching scary movies. And I like telling these two about them. And we love it. We love every goddamn second of it. And we also love it. I feel like we don't often say that in the intro. We just let you in. But we also love it, and that's why we yeah um what's up with us i feel like did anything something scary happen this week i've been told it's silly but it scared

me um i so as you know i have two cats they're very bad and and so i don't let them in the room at night when i'm sleeping because they're too annoying at like approximately 3 a.m. Then again at 5 a.m. Then again at 7 a.m. But they do know that if they scratch on my door and meow really loudly like that, that's like they're still being annoying. And so that's their go to. So I have a shock pad that I lay in front of my bedroom door to keep them an extra two feet away and that's a thing i didn't even know that existed it's like a like a dog like shock

collar type thing that gives a little zap whoa that makes sense amazing um but the other night i went to the bathroom in the middle of the night and i like tip i tiptoed over it on the way out and then on the way back completely forgot and stood like both feet on it and got so zapped and it scared me so bad i thought for sure i was like dying so stupid i just forgot within a matter of like 30 seconds. I would do that every single time. Taught me a real lesson. You taught you a real lesson. You're training yourself. Were you up for the rest of the night? Did you go back to bed? I don't know how you recovered from that.

I did actually. I recovered pretty quick. You'll be relieved to know. I mean, it's meant to shock a cat to a non-lethal degree. So probably an adult woman, it would not be so bad. It just really startled me. Oh, man. The lengths that we go to to build our whole lives around an animal that we brought into our homes. It's very funny. It's entirely our fault. And yet, what are we gonna do they're

cute and soft and worth it and worth every every shock worth every shock what about you guys um i real quick i started reading a book this week that i have been meaning to read for a long time. I'm like way behind. The Fifth Season by N.K. Jemisin. I just started reading 100,000 Kingdoms by N.K. Jemisin. Oh, hell yeah. We'll read our different series

and we'll trade. Okay, that's exciting. So I had listened to a bunch of podcasts where she'd been interviewed before, because she does this really amazing exercise in world building with people. And she goes into like schools and does it and she's done it in these interviews. And she does this kind of like live questioning back and forth with individuals and you kind of you build a world together. And she's just a master at doing that and

it's so compelling and amazing but i've never actually read anything she's written um so i just started this week it's great as expected um highly recommend it it came out in 2015 and it she's actually the first black author to win a hugo award Yeah, and a black woman in the fantasy genre is a very small percentage of those authors. Pretty rare. But the book is great and highly recommend it.

That's what I've done this week. I'm so excited, Henley, to hear that she's one of my sister's favorite authors and she recommended her to me and so I started with A Hundred Thousand Kingdoms, which is her other, I think it's a trilogy? She writes a series. I mean, that's

I feel like pretty typical of fantasy because you I mean, you make so, you build a whole dang world and then you're like, well, I gotta write many books because I did a lot of fucking work. I imagine is what it feels like to be an author. So I'm excited to hear the back and forth about our two little different books. We can have a book club. We can have a book club on the different books that we're reading.

Emily, what about you? I went to the dentist this week. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. For the first time in a long time. Did anybody recommend you a dentist? Somebody recommended me a dentist. Samantha Smart recommended me a dentist.

And boy, was it a good recommend. I loved this dentist's office. They were great. He's great. We don't have the same dentist, apparently. I have the other dentist in that office. But he was wonderful. They were lovely.

I went because I got really freaked out last week that I had a cavity. I haven't been in the dentist in so long. Like I lied to him about how long it had been when I answered him because I was ashamed of the truth. Yeah. What? Give us the real number, because I usually tell them two years when it's usually four. The real number is like six.

And I gave him three. So I did it in a similar logic where I cut it in half. Cut in half. Cut in half. I don't know that it's six, but it's long enough that it could be six. Like I just don't. It's been a long ass time.

What is time, you know? What is time? Nothing. And I was worried I had a cavity because my teeth started feeling sensitive, but it turns out I don't have a cavity, which is a great success. I'm just grinding my teeth from stress. So congrats. Thank you so much. It's not all great

news, but it could have been worse. And he's a great dentist. And now I have a new dentist and I won't wait another six years in theory. So but I felt so it was very safe environment and they were like great and they wore masks and I wore masks until, you know, getting my teeth cleaned. But I felt so badly that I had to be without a mask around him while he's wearing a mask. Right. There's no way to do that with a mask. There's no way to do that. And it was a very bizarre feeling. I'm glad you went and I'm glad that you felt like it was a successful experience. I feel like I have had so many bad experiences with dentists. And I kind of think that dentists are a scam. You've said that before.

And I need to reiterate, Henley, that I really think that's a dangerous thing for you to think. I really disagree. And I also disagree with you thinking it. I disagree with you, my friend, thinking that. I just think that we should all be a little bit wary about what dentists are telling us. No, don't listen to Henley. Please don't listen to Henley. No. No, Henley. Listen, I've had so many experiences with dentists telling me that I needed to spend so much money on things that I do not think I needed to spend money on. Maybe

they're doing some upselling. I've actually felt like that at the eye doctor. They are upselling for sure. And there's no way to check unless you go see another dentist and get a second opinion, which is like very time consuming. And also that dentist might upsell you on something else because they're all upselling us. They're not all. Again, I want to repeat. They're not all upselling us some might be i don't have enough dentist experience to to answer this and you know i don't know i don't know listeners leave it in the comments leave it in your dentist experience has been like we've said the word dentist too many times it's lost yeah let's change the subject you guys guess what else I did this week I watched an incredibly scary movie

oh boy oh boy oh boy called The Orphanage came out in 2007 directed by J.A. Bayona written by Sergio G. Sanchez starring Belen Rueda, Fernando Cayo, Roger Princip and produced by

Guillermo del Toro good job with the name, Sammy. I don't know. You were nervous. It's a Spanish film. Bayona. Bayona. Bayona.

Yeah. And we have a guest this week. We're so excited. We're so excited to have a guest. We're so excited to have this guest on this movie. Welcome to the podcast, Mono Agapian. Woo! Oh, Mono!

Hello. Hi. It's hi. Oh, my God. So it always feels crazy. I've done a lot of podcasts in quarantine, but it still feels crazy when you're just listening to people. It just feels like you're a liar and you're a cheater and you're eavesdropping.

Do they know that I'm on this call? Yeah. And I have opinions. We have to talk about the movie, but really quick. Yeah, don't go to a dentist until your teeth hurt. I heard someone say that.

Thank you. Thank you. Yes. That's true. That's the truth. You don't go to a dentist until your mouth hurts. And I also had a good doctor say the same thing to me.

He was like, let your body talk. Let your body talk. When your body screams, come to the doctor. Screams? Hi, my body is screaming. Listeners, we don't give medical advice. We don't give medical advice. Don't sue us.

No, no, we don't. We're not.'t sue us. No, we don't. He did say when I left, he was like, you're supposed to come every six months. And I remember hearing that when I was a kid. But even then, I was like, excuse me? Twice a year? I haven't been in six years, my friend. I'm not coming back every six months. Yeah, that's too frequent for sure.

But yeah, that's my take on that. And then my take on this movie is I effing love it so much. And thank you for censoring. Thank you. Thank you for censoring yourself. What did you think of the movie? Was it your first time seeing it? Yes, I had never seen it.

And I'm going to make a bold statement that I think it's like top five scariest movies I think I've ever seen. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Wow. I was really scared. It stuck with me. I was scared after watching it. That never happens to me.

I usually like the second a horror movie is over. Like, I kind of like feel like, OK, time for bed. Yeah. This one I was like, I had to like check around my house. Was it the same night you got shocked? No, thank God. That would have been too much. Thank God.

That would have been too much. Was it before or after? It was, I got shocked before. Okay. Oh, okay. That's good. That's a better one. Did you like it?

Did you like it? I loved it. Yeah. I'm very happy. I love it so much. And I kind of, I went into it a little blind like i didn't know much about it and i think that was a really great way to go into it yeah you guys this movie is incredible like it is it's my favorite scary movie of all time and you're a

big you're a big scary movie fan i do i love scary movies uh you should do a podcast about it um you can yeah but you can still find on Stitcher Premium if you really love scary podcasts. What's it called? Yeah, tell us. Horny for Horror. Ooh, baby. Hell yeah, nice.

Check it out, check it out, listeners. Check it out. Yeah, and yeah, but it's, I love scary movies so much. And this one to me is like a real genre bender to me. Very fantasy-y. Yes, yes. Which is very Guillermo del Toro influence. scary movies so much and this one to me is like a real genre bender to me where it's like fantasy yes yes which is very guillermo del toro influence and i think even though he does a lot of stuff with fantastical elements i think this one is like the best mixture of sort of reality and fantasy

and oh it's so good and i know you're not going to see it, Emily, but also you should. I know. Well, I do this every time where I'm like, maybe I'll see it. Maybe I can see it. Sammy already told us, she said that I can't. She knows that I can't. It's scary. It's scary. It's very scary.

I want to see it because I love Spain. I started saying that. I was like, that's so stupid. Shut this girl up. But I love Spain and I love Spanish. And I was like, I just want to watch this so I can hear the Spanish. But no, I would be too scared. I would just going to start saying that. I was like, that's so stupid. Shut this girl up. But I love Spain and I love Spanish and I was like, I just want to watch it so I can hear the Spanish. But no, I would be too scared. I would be way too scared and I don't think that I can hate a book. Yeah. Damn.

Did you see it in theaters or afterwards? I did not see it in theaters. I saw it afterwards. I just had another horror friend who was like, oh my god, watch it. And then you guys obviously, and then I got to show it to Betsy. She hadn't seen it yet.

And then now she loves it. We, of course, just rewatched it so we could talk about it here. But it is just, it holds up every time. It makes me cry. No wonder Sammy loves it. Sammy loves a horror movie that makes her desperately sad. It is heartbreaking and sweet and scary.

And it blows my socks off every time. Yeah, it's really good. I think those are my favorite horror movies to hear about, not watch, because I'm too scared. But I love hearing about the ones that are incredibly emotional. But I love hearing about the ones that are incredibly emotional. Those are so that they're just like, that's what I feel like horror at its peak in a way is when they're able to capture sadness or emotion. That's what makes good storytelling, right? That's what makes you want to hear more.

So it's perfect for us to just be like, just tell me. Just tell me. Yeah. I'm not going to see it. I'm not going to see it. Yeah. Hi, friends. Welcome back to Cocktail Hour.

I'm still here mixing up drinks for you. And this week, our cocktail is a high tide. Just a nice, lovely, summery, beachy drink. Nothing sinister about this here. Don't even worry about it. Forget about it. To make a high tide, you're going to need one ounce of rum, one ounce of coconut liqueur, one ounce of Midori, four ounces

of pineapple juice, one ounce of blue curacao, and maraschino cherries. To make a high tide, in a tall cocktail glass, you'll combine the rum, coconut liqueur, and Midori. Pour the pineapple juice over that mixture. Add your ice, then top with blue curacao and garnish with maraschino cherries. Enjoy! And just as a side note, don't even worry about it, but avoid caves if you can. That's

always a good rule of thumb. Cheers! Did anyone have trivia about the movie? Ooh. I had just a few. Yeah. I, same, just have like two.

But let's just say them. Let's just say them, right? Let's just say them. One, which I can't believe that this is true, mainly because it just sounds exhausting. So it premiered at Cannes, and they say it received a 10 minute standing ovation. I believe it. 10 minutes. Wow. 10 minutes.

I believe it. That sounds exhausting to you? It's such a long time to be standing and clapping. I just imagine around minute 7 people being like no yeah we're still clapping. Yes yes yes. We're still clapping. we're still clapping yes yes yes we're still

clapping we're still clapping okay yeah that's that's exhausting it's exhausting oh they're poor you don't want to be the first person to sit that's poor form yeah no no no yeah so that's i mean that bodes well that's good that does bode well it is good um yeah i just wrote that the budget was 4 million and it made 78 million pretty good return holy shit oh my god that's crazy that's awesome for them yeah that is awesome for them they are happy

they are really thrilled another thing I saw was that like basically since this came out they've been trying to do a remake an American remake because that's their favorite thing to do. Anytime any foreign movie is successful, they're like, well, better make an American version. And so it's kind of been in the works for, I guess, 13 years. I looked it up and it's still kind of maybe happening.

The last article I could find was from 2018. And they're like like we found a new director they've just been like re-choosing directors and stars for 13 years so we'll see that's like that's like confident no it's like one of those like failed kickstarters yeah it's like this is the water bottle that makes water by itself it's like and it's if you look into it coming soon kickstarter oh my god i i actually i love that i love the world of like little scams like that um and it's yeah there's there's a lot of scams like that out there but yeah i would hate that if they do it they need to cast it with all latinx or hispanic people but i'm pretty sure they

would just pop no i think I think Amy Adams was one. I was about to say, they'll call Anna Kendrick and she'll be like, okay! Yeah, like the exact opposite. It's like pitch perfect five. Can I bring my cups?

What if instead we found the whitest little girl you know? Oh my god, maybe I can be in it. Yay! Scary Emily. I mean, at least give a fresh face a chance. I mean. They won't.

They won't. Do you have any more, Emily? I have one more, which is a thing that I hate about scary movies and would hate if I were doing a scary movie, is that the director would improvise things during scenes to surprise the actors, such as running on the background and hiding to startle them. I don't like that.

I would not like to be startled. He grabbed one of the actress's ankles from under the bed. And so one of her screams in the film is a genuine reaction. Whoa. That's both cool and insulting. one of her screams in the film is a genuine reaction. Whoa. That's both cool and insulting. It's like,

I'm an actor, let me do my job. If you really didn't trust me, why'd you put me in your movie? Also, someone should tell him about those cat shock things. He should just put those all right. That would have been effective for sure. Right.

I have an uncle who's like the scare uncle you know and like i oh man i'll be uh the nice way i can put it is i hate him and uh no but it's like there's no way to be like to just look him in the face and go this is not funny and you have to stop you you know such a selfish act on your part he's like trolling you in real life like there's nothing you can do to exactly respond that's exactly i don't like that one little bit it's lame it's lame it's lame your uncle is lame yeah i gotta face that he sucks i hope he's a listener oh yeah i i hope he is i hope he is a huge listener i hope you know he's a listener. Oh, yeah. I hope he is. I hope he is a huge listener. I hope you know he is a burnout from he is like he is a man whose brain was burnt out on the beaches of Mykonos years ago.

So I don't think he has the the eardrums or attention span to listen to any podcast. If that makes you feel any better. Thank God. Good to know simone simone Simone? Simone? Simone? The Orphanage.

Well, I think we can get into this movie, right? Yeah, so Mana, you just lead the way and I will be your support when you need. Please interrupt me because I'm going to get it so wrong. No, interrupt me. Okay. If you're a new parent, a bad day means you either ran out of coffee, diapers, patience, or all of the above. Stocking up on cold brew and deep breaths are all you,

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So, okay, okay, open. Orphanage. I'm pretty sure it opens like in 1975 where you see some young kids playing outside of an orphanage. And they're actually playing a game of like, that's kind of like a tag game, if you will, where you knock on a tree.

And it's almost like a mixture of Mother May I and Hide and Go Seek in a way. And also like that game that you played in pools, where you're like on one side of the pool. Shit, what is that? Jailbreak! Yeah, where you're like turning around to try to see you like. Like sharks and minnows?

Yeah, that type of joke. Yep. So this one and this one is you're facing a tree and you have to knock on it. And so they knock on it three times and they say, Un, dos, tres, toca la pared. So one, right? Like, you know what that means. You're better at Spanish than me.

One, two, three, knock on the door. Knock on the door. That's it. That's it. That's it. And so you knock. And then after you say it, you look back. So it's kind of that thing where, like, every time you look back, you have to, like, freeze.

Right? But the kids keep walking closer every time. They have to freeze, though. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And eventually. This is already scaring though and this is already scaring me i don't like this but it's all it's in the daytime it's in this beautiful spanish orphanage but it still is creepy because you're like oh um so they're playing that game and then you eventually tag the person who's knocking on the tree and then you all chase each other or something um so it opens with that who with who we is is our baby lauda who is um the we quickly cut to um we oh i will say this really important part it's like the orphanage and then the the credits are creepy little hands ripping wallpaper off and revealing names of who's in the movie.

Spooky credits. Child hands are scary. Also, I think we need to point out that there's obviously going to be a lot of children in this movie. And, Manu, you're going to have to do all the guessing of what their ages are because Sammy's incapable of knowing the age of any child. I think we decided every child in the world is eight. That's the rule. That's what we came to the conclusion of because Sammy couldn't figure out

how old any kid was in any movie. We're just going to average it out and actually these ones might be eight. It's honestly the perfect scary movie age. Yeah. Yeah, they're just old enough to be aware but still young enough that they could be innocent exactly exactly um and also in that opening laura laura gets adopted oh lucky her yes important important yes she gets adopted and then the person the

orphanage people like the orphanage owner or whoever is like oh man the kids are really gonna miss her and then it was like a smash cut to the credits it's it's weird so then and then you yeah so then you cut to modern day and we have we see adult lauda um who has now returned to the orphanage her her husband and son have moved into the orphanage that she was once an orphan at. That son? Probably about eight. Yeah. Yeah.

Is it still an orphanage? Or is it like. It is no longer an orphanage, but they're living in it like it's a home. They do have plans to reopen it as a facility for disabled children. And it's fucking creepy. The children. It's fucking creepy. It's very creepy. Horror movie bingo is off the charts in this. There's creepy kids,

creepy huge house. Nothing like buying a terrifying home to start your new life. People in horror movies love to do that. It looks like the Addams Family house, honestly. But then it also, because it's set up like an orphanage, it has rooms with like 10 sinks.

And I don't know why that's just creepy. Or like 10 tiny little children's beds. It's just spooky. And get this. There's a church in the house. Not good. Not good. Not good.

It's like a weird dusty chapel. It's awful. Get your chapel out of my house. So they're living in this house and it's just her, her husband, Carlos, and her little son, Simone, who is the cutest little kid in the world. This kid is an amazing actor and you just love him the second he's on screen, right? He's super cute. Yep. He has these curly...

I'm probably biased. He looks like a little me. But he's just like... He's gorgeous! He is incredible, this child. To lay your eyes on him is to look into the eyes of God. No, but he's just like a cute little boy with curls and he's just doe-eyed and doe-cheeked and um so they're they have not opened it to disabled children yet

but they're kind of just like getting comfortable in the house and um simone claims that he's uh i want to say is this one then like do they go walking on the beach yeah we learned that he has some like imaginary friends you hate to hear it uh-huh and so immediately he's like talking about how oh his friends like don't want to come to the beach with them but yeah him and his mom go to the beach and she's kind of being like this is where i grew up and like we used to play here and kind of giving him the tour of it's like a seaside orphanage by the way it's like it's beautiful um yeah so the beach is is very gorgeous but i have horrible news there is a cave on the beach yes there's a cave horrible there's a cave and a lighthouse there. And also just a little bit to tease you that it has been.

Simone does have to take medication every day. And we don't immediately know why, but he has to take medication every day. And so we're at the beach. We're in the caves. Laura showing Simone around. And he suddenly starts talking to nothing. Right right he's looking at like a dark cave yeah like a dark corridor in the k and he's like no yeah he's like you can come over to my house if you want like no you can't yeah and laura's like uh come on let's go home and he's like okay can my friend come

and then she's like um i don't know but she looks to make sure and she doesn't see anything she's like okay there's nothing here but um simone has a big bucket of shells and he starts placing them Hansel and Gretel style and she's like what are you doing and he he's like so that my friend can come find find his way back to the house so he leaves like a creepy shell it's awful

awful yeah yeah and then what happens um so then we go back home and the social worker comes over and i can't remember her name now beninia oh yeah benina escobedo yes benina is a great creepy old lady name she is creepy yeah she's really creepy and she's like oh like the i was sent over by the doctor or the the uh oh who did she say maybe she does like the social worker the social or the, oh, who did she say?

Maybe she says like the social worker. The social worker sent me over and she's like, who? What do you mean? Yeah, Laura is like confused. Like what? Like it seems a little suspicious, but she goes with it. And she is like, she is a really hunched over little Spanish lady wearing like a dirty blue dress. And like,

she has those, like she has like Coke bottle glasses on. She's freaky. And she's supposed to be the babysitter. No, she's like a social worker. And yeah, Laura's like,

why are you here? And she says, I got Simone's file. And Laura like tenses up a bit and like okay like he doesn't he she says he doesn't know that he's adopted and he doesn't know about his illness oh these are bad things for him to not know at this stage in life and then i think she's like you need to tell him like or something and then he's like don't she's like don't tell me what to do with my kid honey okay first of all number two your your outfit's crunchy okay your hair is dusted get out of my house um no they fight yeah yeah and then she punched wine all over the place no but um so

she is like please leave i don't please leave like thank you for your concern but i don't need any help um and is that when she looks at the file? Yeah. And so then we get a little look, a little look at the file and see that he, he, he has HIV. Isn't that shocking?

Oh my God. I was, yeah, I was shocked as well. Oh, that's awful. It is. Yeah.

And it's just like, it's such a strange thing for a young person to live with. And it's like, Oh, you're like, okay, that's why I need to take medication every day of course um so uh benina leaves and then later that night you know dark dark it's dark in the creepy big gigantic creaky house right and they're hearing laura

has woken up and she hears weird noises and her husband won't wake up. He like just never wakes up. Look, a man's got to sleep. He always like he always is like, I'll get up. I'll check. It's my turn to check and then goes back to bed. Useless. He's useless. Yeah, he's useless.

So then she starts snooping around, scooping around the house when she goes all the way outside to I don't know what is it like a coal shed yeah it's like a very spooky shed and she's in a nightgown at night by herself with with no weapons on her person and hearing a noise in the shed and i'm like don't do that and like the cheap wooden doors are like flapping in the wind and they're like they're smacking. And she's like, who's there? So then, you know, we go into the shed. Very creepy. We see some creepy movement in the background.

And then suddenly like almost like like a twig snaps. And then we see creepy Benina in the shed. In the middle of the night? Creepy old lady Benina in the middle of the night. And she's, like, holding a shovel. And she's like, ugh. And then she, like, skulks away like a little raccoon. She makes a run for it.

Whoa. With no explanation. No. No explanation. Nothing. Just with a shovel in the shed just hanging yes she runs away they call the cops the cops come the cops snoop around and they're like i don't know what to tell you they're she's not here but i i think they do add they're like by the way

there's no lady who works at that office right like we checked that name and that's not yeah that doesn't exist right she's not a documented social worker at where she said she was well it's weird to me that like a social worker would get a file of a boy that moves into the town and then right that's not how it works right what system works like right right i mean that and that's a horror movie mainstay where it's like a little bit of a yeah that's a that's a mainstay how do we introduce this information and also introduce this character and yeah a lot of like well i guess my husband must have called that whole that chestnut horror movies all movies survive based on unhealthy communication in america yeah yeah that's how we get from point a to point b yeah absolutely so okay okay so then okay so

then we're back it's the next day and i want to say like simone and um laura are like playing a lot like simone is like I want to play a game. Is this when she finds something on the doorstep? And boy, I did not like it. She hears some clinkety clank and she opens her front door to see a giant pile of shells collected on her front porch. No, no, no. I was so mad to see it. I did not like that one bit.

Sammy, how scared were you at this point in the movie? I was pretty scared. I think it's like the first five minutes I was okay and then from then on I was scared.

Oh, no. It feels like they're planting so many different seeds that you don't even know how to be calm. I think that's what they want. Is it the old lady? Is it the shells?

Is it the house? Is it the. Uh huh. I will say I'm not sure if this is the first. It's not. But horror movies with subtitles, you can't like look away as much because that's my trick is I'll just be like oh like you said like I'll look on my phone for a second and it's like you can't because you're gonna miss things and so you're really forced to

watch it so you can only see the words and shadows I've done that before but it's not easy you're like oh just get the words all I can see are the words yeah it really forces you to pay attention and get fully scared yeah oh you get scared i did so

i guess then they're just playing games right she sees he kind of talks about um peter pan there's this little peter pan element where he's kind of thinking about growing growing up and he doesn't want to grow up because then he can't go to neverland and you see kind of her register that with fear because she's you know like it's scary to imagine him not growing up and so so then they like play a little game and he and she's like well what's the game it's like there's some sort of game with like oh well if you find this clue it leads to this thing and then she's like okay i guess I'll play along with you. And then clue to clue to clue.

There's one in the church. There's one in the thing. Until the final clue leads to this locked drawer with Simone's adoption file, which had the news that he's HIV positive and everything. What? And he's at this point saying like saying my friends set up this game yes like my my invisible friends tomas has set up this game yes he says yeah tomas is the man the the boy who he claims followed him from the cave and uh shell boy and um he immediately she's like no don't, what are you doing?

Stop lying. How did you do this? And he gets really angry. And then he yells at her. You're not even my real mom. And I know I'm going to die soon. Oh, my God. So, yeah.

Had he read the file before? Did he read the file at the end of the game? Thomas told him. Yeah, he said, Thomas the end of the game? Tomas told him. Yeah, he said Tomas told me. He said my friend told me. Oh, wow. Which is spookier because it was in like a locked cabinet that they just opened up, which is like, wait, what?

How did you? What is happening? So they're freaked out. They're freaked out by each other. He's starting to talk more and more about Tomas. She's like, please cool it on the Tomas thing. So then there's sort of an opening, a ceremony for the orphanages. They're trying to reopen the orphanage to welcome about five or six disabled children kind of to their house.

Because they're going to try to they can't they don't want to make it huge but they're like oh let's see if like there's interest in taking care of some disabled children and so they early that day and by the way it's a horrifying party

because it's a mask party spooky mask mark your bingos my god they're doing it all because it's a mask party. Spooky masks. Mark your bingos. My God, they're doing it all. Yeah, yeah. They're like spooky, melted, paper mache masks. Like, it's never just an elephant.

It's like an elephant that's like distorted, melted on one side with like yarn as an eye. It's always very scary. Yes. Oh, God. Yes. Oh, God. Yeah. Terrifying.

So they're bickering a little bit. And Simone says like, I want to show you Tomas's little house. I want to show you Tomas's little house. And she's like, okay, no, not right now. Stop talking about Tomas. We need to go get ready for the party. And then they get in like a weird little fight you know and and then i think he says again you're not like you're not my mom he knocks the cake out of her hand he like he's throwing a little tantrum and he she's she's like stressed party planning and she's holding a big cake and he like freaks out and yeah, knocks the cake out of her hand. And she slaps him.

No. Oh my God. And his face is so sad, like welling. His eyes are welling with tears, but like he's like holding them back. It's so sad. Oh, it's really sad. It's going to be hard to bounce back. Hard to bounce back after that.

That's a tough one. It's really sad. She's like, she's like, okay. Hard to bounce back after that. That's a tough one to bounce back. It's really sad. She's like, she's like, okay, I'm, I have to go get ready for this. Please come downstairs. It's, it's sad. So then, you know, she's looking for, you know, she's looking for where, where the heck is Simone when she suddenly, you know, we, we see children playing outside and we suddenly see a child wearing a sack mask and it is horrifying

like it is it's it's like a sack it's like a um it's it's like a oh god what's that fat albert character it's it's almost that but way scarier it's very scary i don't know there's like fake hair coming out of the top of it and it it's just like, like there's like different sized eyes. It's horrifying. And so there's a sack mask kid walking around and we're like, who is that kid? He doesn't seem to be playing with any of the other kids. And she's looking for Simone when she suddenly sees sack mask boy at the

end of a hallway upstairs. And, and she assumed, you know, she like i it we think it's probably simone just to wearing a mask right yeah and um then there's a weird confrontation where then the sack mask boy uh she she's like simone it. This isn't funny anymore. Pushes her into the bathroom and like slams her hand on the door. Oh. Right? Yes, he like pushes her back. She tries to balance herself on the door.

He slams the door on her and right on her fingers. We get a little close up of her little fingers smashing. And then she gets her fingers out and falls back into the bathtub. He locks the door from the outside, locking her in there

and holds the key up against the glass to show her that she's locked in there. And she kind of is like stumbled back in the tub and we get a horrible shot of her looking at her smushed fingernail and she like pulls part it's like a bloody fingernail ooh it's so bad

it's messed up man so this was all this is like the sack this is the we don't know whether it's Simone or not right we don't know we're just assuming she thinks it is but she doesn't really know either. Yeah, he had a weird vibe for sure.

The sack mask boy, he had a weird vibe. He does kind of, he kind of makes like some kind of growly type noises while she's kind of first, she tries to take his mask off to be like, Simone, like, what and he's like kind of doesn't feel like it's simone yeah it's it doesn't yeah you question it and um so she freaked out and she suddenly gets out she yells and like the party's put on pause you know uh well at least for a second you know because she's like actually for a second she starts just looking for simone because he's like where's simone where's simone where's simone so then we do get that that lovely little chestnut of her running around the party and screaming like a crazy person like where's simone right because she can't find her fucking kid ripping masks off little kids at random like searching for her she's

looking everywhere she's looking and even like the little closet under the stairs she looks there and nothing you know some some stuff falls over she puts it back she can't she's looking absolutely everywhere right um and uh then what she like panics and is like, the cave. What if he ran to the cave? That's right. That's right. And the thing about the cave is that at high tide, it fills with water. The tide comes in and you get stuck in there and you drown. And guess what?

It's high tide. So she's running on that beach. Oh, Jesus. She's running on the beach. she's running on the beach she falls she sees her knee like a little boy in the cave and she's like i see him i see him and carlos her husband is like chasing like no like don't go like you'll you're gonna get stuck too and yeah we see her fall and break her leg in like a real gnarly way. It's like a quick shot. I was kind of like, what just happened?

And then it's strange. It's yeah, it could be a break. It's something. It's really bloodied. Yeah, it's really fucked up. She's like running and tripping. And then, you know, her husband comes after her and she's like, my God, like you can't run anymore. You've hurt yourself.

And then we see like we cut to that night. There's cop boats looking in the caves. And she's convinced that Benina must have abducted Simone, maybe. Because, like, this weird crazy lady was here. Maybe she took my child. Right, right. And she's, like, she's in the hospital for a second we meet a a detective or no she's a psychologist that works for the detectives named pilar who um is like oh i'm like

gonna be working on your case yeah we're gonna do all we can to find this benino woman then at night you know we get to see her at night she hears weird bumps in the middle of the house. Really loud, creepy bumps. She wants to look around the house. But she's like in a wheelchair. So then she's like, I guess I'll roll around the house in my wheelchair. But I need to figure out what the sound is since my husband's not waking up. He never wakes up.

I was in the hospital today. We don't know where our son is. This goddamn man is still sleeping. And then what happens? She just hears a big clank and she's scared. She's in a crash and she's scared but can't find the source of it. And then we cut to six months later. Yes.

Six months later and Simone is still missing. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. That is not good. You know, you guys, I didn't see that coming. I didn't either. I did not think he was going to go missing.

I know. And of course, they're devastated because, you know, he needs medication every day. Oh, God. They're really worried about what his fate could be. They're searching for him.

They were at a support group kind of thing where she's saying, I see him. I see kids sometimes. And they're all like, oh, yeah, grief does wild things. And sometimes we... Check off gas lighting on your bingo yep yep yep and so she's like no no no I actually see them they're there

and so they're at this like support group yeah for bereaved parents and she keeps you know we're starting to worry about Lauda because you know she just starts at one point she's almost screaming at the bereaved parents I'm not crazy and you know the parents are starts, at one point she's almost screaming at the bereaved parents, I'm not crazy. Yeah.

And, you know, the parents are like, I'm trying to help you, girl. Hey, look, I'm also grieving. Please don't scream at me that you're not crazy. I know, I just tried to make, yeah. Yeah, I have my own shit. So then they're driving back, you know, Lauda's beside herself.

Her husband, Carlos, is trying to be there for her. They come to a stop. They're at a crosswalk. And who the fuck do they see crossing the street with a carriage but Benina? Fucking Benina. They see fucking old bat Benina crossing the street with a little baby carriage and they're like

that's Bonina and I mean nothing can prepare you for what happens next but they're like Bonina and then she looks back she locks eyes with them they like look at each other for a moment and I mean in a millisecond I mean in a millisecond of a millisecond

a van blows through Bonina. A van. Yes. Yes. How gagged were you when that happened? I jumped three feet in the air. Oh my God.

My butt left the couch. It's a really big scare. So she is smashed by a van and then you know the first thing you know um car carlos runs towards bonina because he's a doctor and he's like oh my god let me help this person but uh laura runs to the carriage the carriage first and then under the car there's this squished chair is carriage and she's like oh my god, my God. Oh, my God. Is it my son? Is it my son? But it's just a creepy little old doll. Like a creepy, like, sort of wide-eyed wooden doll.

Yes. No, no, no, no. Yes. And then we cut to Carlos. Well, they're, like, all over her. Yeah, yeah. Her, like, body. And there's a big crowd gathered Carlos. Yeah, yeah, her like body and there's a big crowd gathered around.

Yeah. Say what happens next. And he's like, you don't quite see, we're seeing from Laura's point of view and there's like a big crowd gathered so it's like in between people like, people crowded around her and then

Carlos is kind of like, I think she's gone. Like, she's dead. You see him do CPR. Oh, my God, I forgot. His mouth comes back bloody. Ew! Ow!

Yeah. It hurts. Yeah. Oh, my God. He's like, I don't know, man. No, no, no. She's dead, man. I no no no it's not oh my god i forgot about so then they they cover her face right they cover her face because it's gone it's it's just it's just not gonna happen but of course, she goes to get the whistle

and, classic, Benina, the half-dead, grabs her hand and then pops out and Benina's jaw is off of her face. And he was giving that to a CPR? Excuse me? He was trying to blow into an open throat

and she's like wide-eyed she's grabbed she's like grabbed her wide-eyed like oh my god it's terrifying two jump scare two big jump scares right in a row it really got me good i bet because you like you relax after the first jump scare you're like okay jump scare i've got some time before the next one uh but you don't not not in this movie too back to back too back to back so then they're getting more information on benina because like okay this is who benina is okay great so benina what? Benina used to work at the orphanage and you knew her. And Laura's like, no, she did not work at the orphanage. And they're like, yes, she did. She worked at the orphanage for six months. Maybe you don't remember her, tomas was at the orphanage and tomas was benina's son oh no but it was her i know it was her secret son she was he was like because i must be some weird nunnery stuff but like they were like i can't say you know he's my son but for whatever reason she worked at

the pretending she pretended to work at the orphanage and then take care of her son tomas who also lived there yeah huh so yeah so did she like get pregnant and it was she couldn't be pregnant and maybe had tomas at the orphanage or something that's i think kind of the impression that we're getting yeah like she was like a young young unmarried woman that maybe this hadas at the orphanage or something. That's, I think, kind of the impression that we're getting. Yeah, like, she was, like, a young, young unmarried woman that maybe this had to be the... Yeah, and, like, Spain, that would have been, what, Spain in the late 60s? Because it was started in 75,

so that's, like, Franco era, like, very strict conservative. Yeah. That's kind of the vibe we're getting. Okay. Ugh. Yeah. And then, you know, then she finds out out just more just finding out more about tomas because you know she's like my son talked about tomas so much i need to figure out what what's the deal with this tomas kid and then what she lauda finds out

is that a few weeks after she was adopted the orphans um uh tomas did in fact wear a sort of sack mask on his head um but because he had he was born with a deformity he was born with a a sort of like skeletal he has sort of like a a deformity which like made his bones kind of protrude in his skin. Oh my gosh. Yes, it's alarming. And the orphans stole his mask and so the orphans took him to the sea cave and then they stole his mask there

and then Tomas was so embarrassed for anyone to see him that he never left the cave and he ended up drowning in the cave. Died in high tide. Yeah. Kids are so mean.

Why are kids so fucking mean? Why? They're fucking mean. They're mean. They're just little grown-ups who don't know how to handle their shit. How to pretend. How to pretend to be nice.

Grown-ups are fucking mean, too. Yeah, they just they just like don't they just are like stealthier about it that's true actually adults are fucking assholes no i yes they can be assholes but i would say kids can just be particularly mean because yeah they just let it all they don't know yeah they don't know how deeply traumatizing that would be for a child well they killed him i mean well they killed him and so the joke's on them because they killed him Yeah. They don't know how deeply traumatizing that would be for a child. Well, they killed him. I mean, well, they killed him.

And so the joke's on them because they killed him. Wow. Kids, I mean, when you think about it, kids are just trying out emotions and like behaviors for the first time almost every time. You know, like, I don't know, let's try out this bullying thing. Yeah. Yeah. What's this bullying thing like? That was, oh, That was kind of fun

Also I think that's why kids are featured In horror movies so much because they're so Unpredictable and so at the Like mercy of their emotions Like they'll just do anything that comes to mind Like they're not Thinking about it They're not rational beings

They're not thinking it through to the end They're like this this is fun. It's fun to harass this kid that looks funny. I'm going to do it because it feels good. I'm not going to think ahead five minutes. Kids are fucking scary. Kids are scary. Kids are really scary.

And we teach kids to believe in the other world. We're like, there's God, Santa, and an Easter bunny, and they're all watching you. So then you're like, no, that one's not real. You're like, what do you mean? I don't even know which ones are real and which ones aren't. This is a whole other conversation, but the new thing that parents do with Elf on the Shelf, I don't know if you guys know about this. Fucking terrifying. Awful. It's so insane the lies that parents have to spin to create this like mythology around this elf that's literally watching them for like a month before Christmas.

Just to get their kids to behave for presents. Every single night you have to move this fucking elf to a different shelf. It's like so crazy that you're lying to your kids. The elf is like a little minion of santa and he's there to like watch you for santa and he like tells tells on you if you act back poorly and i'm not joking every single parent has to do it now because like so many people do it that if your kid is like the only one who doesn't have an elf if your kid doesn't have an elf they're like why don't i have an elf all my classmates have an elf i'm it just it's getting worse that's my only point

it's just getting worse you guys it's bad it's bad and i i have even worse news like and now like every like everyone's doing it there's a greek version called follow apollo that's like aimed at teaching kids about greek easter a Greek version called Follow Apollo. That's like aimed at teaching kids about Greek Easter. My God. Isn't that ridiculous? Everybody needs one. Everyone needs one.

That's crazy. Okay, wait, what? Okay, so Benina's son has been killed by children. Yes. Roaming children. Yes, Benina's, yeah, died being pranked by children. This Tomas kid that, weirdly enough, her son was talking about and did wear the creepy mask. So she's like, what is happening?

How can I connect these dots? So she's so at her wit's end that she asks for help from a medium. Oh, my God. Another bingo. Another good horror bingo. Another bingo. I got to see this bingo board, you guys.

That sounds fun. It doesn't exist, but it's going to be good. Oh, you should. Market it. Market it. Yeah. So the medium named Aurora comes to the house. And also a part of it is like

she has like kind of a team and like there's another guy who like talks about um she sees laura sees this man i don't remember what the man's name was um but he's kind of a professor type and he's he's talking about how the other world and doppelgangers and the other world and it like piques laura's like attention because she's like, oh, that's interesting that like maybe this doppelganger thing is what's happening with my boy and with my boy and Tomas. I don't know. Like, you know, I need to understand what's happening. the house and the medium does a seance um where she tries to basically go back in time and to understand what was happening in the orphanage uh years and years ago so he kind of like hypnotizes her right he like does like a thing where he yes so the the professor guy is like guiding her into

this trance so she can see the orphanage as it was 30 years ago or whatever he's like i'm gonna count back from 10 he counts back from 10 and then she like is like oh i'm so it's so cold in here and i like there was like a draft in my house at this point i got so cold and so scared and i was like oh fuck yeah and it's all through. And it's all, like, green and found footage. Because, like, they're doing a lot of weird technology to, like, sort of bring her back to a time. And one of the things you can't. It's, like, night vision-y. Yes.

And there's also a really creepy clicking device. Oh, there's always one of those. A little, like, metronome or whatever type thing. It's probably not a metronome, but something like that. You know what I mean? Like, it's, like, ugh. Yeah. Yeah, it's a little like metronome or whatever type thing. It's probably not a metronome, but something like that. You know what I mean? Like it's like, ugh. Yeah. Yeah, it's nasty.

And like they use it to create all these highs and lows in the sound. Okay, and then what? And then. Well, she. So they're recording it and they have their little, you know, thing that's picking up noise. And we start hearing children on the thing. And there's no children in the house. And they're screaming.

Screaming children. Like in fun or in terror? Not in fun. Not in fun. As soon as I asked it, I thought, you know the answer. You know the answer. It's pretty rough to hear because it's like cry screaming. Oh, God.

And she's now in the room with the like 10 beds, the 10 children's beds. Yeah. And. You know, those creepy metal. Yeah. Like hospital cot looking. Yes. Yes.

Yep. And she's kind of kneeling and she's, it looks like she's talking to someone and she's like, who tried who who tried to poison you? What did they do to you? And it's like kids like screaming and crying and she's getting super overwhelmed. And then something gets too crazy. Right. I feel like, oh, like the lights go off or something. They owe all the cameras turn off.

And so they're in kind of a control room thing, like watching her with the big setup. And they're like, we need to bring her back or else she won't be able to come back. And so he's like panicking, like, oh, I'm counting back up from 10, like 10, 9, 8. Trying to wake her up out of the trance because he doesn't know what's happening because we don't have eyes on her anymore. It's the scary part. I was freaked. Oh, God. And then he counts back from 10 quickly.

freak oh and then she's she he counts to 10 from back from 10 quickly and she's like even though she walked a far distance she's right back in the chair she started in like many rooms away like instantly yeah yeah so and then we kind of they she kind of talked more about it and she's like oh benina poisoned the children uh because she was pissed because they fucking killed her son oh my god as revenge wow yeah and then she we suspect hid their remains somewhere but like they don't know where their remains are

so this was like right after Laura was adopted yeah yeah exactly in theory right after these are all the same kids that she was there with playing playing the little one two three knock on the door so then unable to cope with how weird like this is so weird so carlos is like this is crazy these people made they did a magic show for you you know what i mean carlos her husband is like this is fucking bullshit right that didn't happen yeah they're playing a recording like you're falling yes and then yes and i think the

caseworker is there too being like this is crazy okay this is this isn't gonna help you you need to like you need to leave this house or or something because all of this is like smoking yeah he wants he wants to get out of there he's like this place is not good for us right now we gotta go and she's like give me two days i need to like say my goodbyes to this place this is where i spent my childhood and where i lost my son like give me two days by myself to say say goodbye to the place essentially. By myself. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And he agrees. Yeah. And he leaves. What a good husband.

Oh, he leaves. He's like, I'm tired. I'm going to bed. He's not a great husband. You know, I haven't been sleeping enough. I gotta go and catch up. Gotta go to bed. So, and then, you know, for because she's trying to, like, figure shit out, Lauda decides to make the orphanage look exactly as it did, like, 30, 40 years ago.

Yeah, she's kind of like, I'll play your game. She, like, is, like, rolling up her sleeves, and she, like, gets dressed up the the workers were dressed up in that day sets the table as it was like the night they died and it's kind of like let's do this i think one thing we forgot to say was like at some point she finds a loose doorknob right somewhere in this mix one thing that she does or is it after this i think it's i think it's after but just right i think all this happens like right around the same time um one other thing is she kind of she's she's desperate for answers at this point obviously and so she kind of is like standing in the middle of the house saying like i'm not afraid of you like where are you and this

window in the background just like drops and shatters and she goes to that spot and yeah finds like a little uh it's like a bench you know like under a bench where you could store things in it something like that and there's little dolls for all of all of the kids like made in each of their images right and that's where she realizes, oh shit, that creepy doll of, the creepy doll of Tomas I found underneath the car fits perfectly in this slot. And then she finds a kind of like, she finds a little like clue underneath.

She finds like a little weird like clue underneath the doll and then that leads to, you know, a drawer and then the drawer leads to a candy wrapper the same game that he was playing the same game yeah so she starts playing the game trying to figure out what the hell is happening

and then it all leads to a doorknob and that's the last piece she can't figure out she's like what the fuck does this doorknob do it's just like a loose doorknob and she's like all the doors I see have doorknobs on them so i don't know what to do with this she ends up in in the shed at some point and she and she's like just kind of searching for wherever this doorknob goes to. She can't figure it out. There's kind of this thing buried behind all these kind of sandbags in the shed.

And she thinks maybe there's a little door back there. And she's like, maybe it's that door. But she gets there and it's not. But she opens that door anyways because she was like, oh, Bonina was in here with the shovel. So she like uses the shovel or something to pry that door open

and kind of crawls in there. And it's a furnace. Uh-huh. And then there's bags that she pulls out and then inevitably one rips and she begins to find bones and dust.

And she even finds a leg brace um which of course is the biggest clue that like this is this is the remains of the children right and I guess Benina must have burnt them up after she killed them holy shit

holy shit she was so bad she was really shit she was so bad she was really bad she was bad it's really bad to poison and then burn a bunch of kids I don't care what they did

I don't care what they did it's just bad Emily that's a pretty hot take you know what I'm standing right by it it's kind of crazy that she never did she not know that like right after she was adopted every other child at this orphanage like mysteriously died i guess that was not something ever communicated it's a fair question like how yeah how would they who would tell i don't know you probably keep in touch i'd say she should

have known yeah but it seems like she didn't. Yeah. It seems like she did not. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's crazy. I mean, you know, it's probably pretty rude to get a letter or like to send a letter to the orphanage and be like, what's up?

What's up, fam? What's up, orphans? Everything's there anyway. I've got parents. Oh, my God. My parents kick so much ass. How are you guys doing? How's it there anyway? I've got parents. Oh my God. My parents kick so much ass. How are you guys doing? How is it over there?

How are those beds? Oh God. I sleep on a ceiling now. Okay. Okay. Okay. So then, so then she's like,

okay, I will play your fucking game. That's when she sets up the house to be like it was 30 years ago she puts on a creepy old costume like a creepy old nun costume um then you know she's like she's setting up the table she's so mad she's like what do you want from me and um and then she's like okay you want me to play a game right she's like, okay, you want me to play a game, right? She's like, yeah, she loses her temper at the she like sets up basically the like supper table where they died. Think and like sets all of their dolls like in their seats thinking like I can summon them here. Doesn't work.

She freaks out. I can't totally remember what gets her to do this thing. But then she goes because it's a little later because it's night time right it's night time so I think she's like okay you seem to like games let's play a fucking game so then in a pitch dark room in the house

she goes up to a wall and she goes un dos tres toca la pared so like she oh cool it's so scary scariest scene in the movie for sure Un, dos, tres, toca la pared. So like she... Oh, cool. It's so scary. Scariest scene in the movie for sure. The camera panning back and forth.

Like one take, no edits. So we're on her as she is the one, two, three, knock, pan, empty. One, two, three, knock, pan. One little kid. Yeah. one two three knock pan one little kid yeah and then and then they keep oh it's so good and they keep doing it and then eventually it's like nine little kids like like in different spots in the foreground and background and getting closer and closer each time we pan back and forth and it's like so dark you can just like see like the slightest, like,

like a shadow of light on their heads. It's so nasty. It's so scary. Oh my God. I was so, I was so stressed. Seeing it's so scary. And then as the game goes,

eventually one of them taps on her shoulder. Puts her creepy, creepy little hand on her shoulder. And then she's off. She's chasing them. She's running. And she's like, talk to me. Tell me where my kid is. You know, what's next?

What's the next clue? And they kind of lead her to a basement under the stairs. They lead her to the basement under the stairs. Like a little Harry Potter under the stairs closet. Yes. Harry Potter basement. Fuck J.K. Rowling. And...

Oh, I know. It's so sad. J.K. Rowling, shut the fuck up. Stop tweeting. We hate you. Stop tweeting. Let us love your fucking books and shut up. Shut your fucking mouth.

You problem. So fucking rich, just go away. Go fucking buy a bag of Teslas and fuck off. Leave us alone. A bag of Teslas and fuck off. Fuck off forever. I hate her. Anyway, so under the stairs, she's like uh wait and then she's like looking around and she notices

the door keeps creaking closing her in the in the closet she opens it again and then the door creaks close it like slams closed and you kind of see like a creepy kid hand another big jump scare yeah it's one of those great like slow closes to a fast close yeah so then she's kind of looking around and i think she notices a hole in the wallpaper and then she's she notices a hole in the wallpaper and she's like starts ripping at the wallpaper which of course is a great callback to the opening credits. And then she has the fucking doorknob on her and she's like, oh fuck, this is a door. So then she puts a door,

a doorknob in this like hole in the wallpaper and then like kind of like tears, tears it open revealing a door she never knew existed. And it's a fucking scary ass basement. Mark your bingos. No, there's stairs down. No, I don't want that. Don't go downstairs.

Don't go down the stairs. And this basement, I mean, I hate to be insensitive, but it looks like it's like a Chernobyl basement. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Like it is. Like Chernobyl basement. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Like it is. Like covered in dust. Yes.

Nobody's been down there in decades. Exactly. It's filthy. As if a nuclear bomb went off inside of a tiny basement. It's just like gray, dusty, dark, tiny slivers of light barely like illuminating it it's disgusting it's so scary i need it worst case scenario basement worst case scenario uh there's no bobby burke there's no jvn no one's gonna save this basement no no property brothers are here to help this basement um no um and And so they,

so she's going down there slowly, disgustingly. And she's seeing, she's actually seeing this little desk, which we actually saw was the desk. Tomas's desk, this creepy little desk with drawings, really horror,

horrifying drawings, horrifying child drawings. That should be on your bingo. It is. Yeah. And, uh, Oh,

okay. Yeah. That's on there. Cause they happen a lot and they're scary. Right. So she's like, Holy shit. This is the little house.

This is Tomas's quote unquote little house. This is where they kept him, uh, away from the other kids. Oh, yeah. Cause they kept him separated because he was disabled. Yeah.

That is fucked. It's fucked. It's fucked. But they're like all disabled. So. Yeah. But they're like extra mean to him. Yeah, they were extra mean to him.

It's very sad. You know. But yeah, it's creepy. There's like drawings on the wall. And then she sees a little like curtain. Yes. A little curtain that led to like sort led to an obscured sort of bed, like a very unsophisticated sort of bed. And she sees what looks to be like a little maybe child.

It's about the size of a child's body. About the size of a child's body. About the size of a child's body. And she heads closer and closer. And then she pulls back the covers to reveal it's a fully alive and talking Simone. What? He's talking. Yes. So go with me.

Go, go with us. So he's he's he's he's talking. He's happy. They're joking. Do you remember any of the little tidbits they say? I probably they probably call back to Peter Pan or something. I can't remember exactly. But she's she's so happy to see him.

She's holding him wrapped up in this blanket. And she's kind of hearing the kids. She has seen dead children. Oh, I'm not where I don't like where this is going. So she's like, we got to get you out of here. She's hearing the little kids whispering

upstairs and like giggling like there's little children laughing everywhere and she's like, it it's okay I can't remember they oh I think she kind of has a very emotional moment with him where she like apologizes to him right and it's like I'm so I'm so sorry and like yeah

and and he's like it's okay and now I now I play every day of my life I'm happy oh yes yes and he's like he's like will you like, will you keep playing with us? Will you come play with us? Yeah. Oh, the kids' voices are getting louder and louder.

And she's getting really scared. And she's like, Simone, close your eyes and imagine that they're gone. Because she's thinking maybe we like stuck in our imaginations. Something. So she's like, just think. Just close your eyes. Close your eyes. Imagine they're gone.

Squeeze them shut. Squeeze them shut. And then we get a close up on their eyes. And she opens her eyes. And looks down at her arms. And the blanket is empty. Nothing there. And then on the floor,

just a few feet away from her is the corpse of Simone. No, no, that is fucked. That is not okay. Well, it's a little boy wearing, it's a little boy.

Actually, I should say this. It's a little boy wearing the mask, wearing the Tomas mask. And she, she's a little boy, actually I should say this, it's a little boy wearing the mask. Wearing the Tomas mask. And she's like, please no, please no, please no. She pulls off the mask to reveal that it was Simone. And she screams in bloody anguish, of course. And then she looks and sees that the staircase down to the basement, the banister has broken.

So he fell through there. And then we get flashbacks. Right. Of the loud clanking in the home. The day he went missing. There was loud clanking, which she was like, that was that. Yeah. There was that was loud clanking, which she was like, that was that.

Yeah. She also had there's also these heavy pipes, which which we see she like put against the door in her search for her on the initial day. And they kind of rewind all that footage. Yeah. So we see that on the day of he was like, come see Tom Tomas's little house with me. This is what he meant. She said no. He ran down there, fell.

Yeah. Hurt himself. Yeah. Badly. And while she was panicked looking for him, she went into that under the stairs closet and moved and knocked these heavy poles onto the door. So he couldn't get out. He couldn't get back out. So he couldn't get out.

And then when she was in the wheelchair hearing the noises at night like the loud banging that was simone oh it's so bad and the last thing that happened was she hit him that was her last interaction with her son was slapping him and then locked him in a basement to slowly die yeah it's the fucking worst yes okay worst case scenario here folks so bad worst case scenario that's awful it is horrifying and awful but it is absolutely gut-wrenching and painful because like you fall in love with her and her child and but then something else happens which i i have to admit us telling you is not going to be as gratifying as seeing it. But we have to tell you what happens next. You have to tell us.

You don't have a choice. You don't have a choice. We don't have a choice. So we see her holding the remains of her child. Oh, my God. And she's just pounding pills. She's like pounding. I mean, yes.

I mean, of course. Like she's going to be off the cliff now for sure. She wants to be with him again. She's like, I'll be with you soon. We see her eventually kind of just pounding pills, fall back into almost, you know, she passes out or dies, it appears. And then a few weird moments pass

and she both her and simone of course have come back to life in this fantastical fantasy right in death i guess they've come back together in death. And it's weirdly beautiful. Like, it is weirdly really beautiful. And then they do a really clever thing where Simone is like, you're Wendy. You're Wendy from Peter Pan. And we're the lost kids. And now we can be together again. Aww. And then the ghost children are like, look, everyone, it's Laura.

It's really her. Yeah. And one of them is blind and she comes up and she feels Laura's face. And she says, it's Laura. She came back. It's Laura. And they all like gather around her and she like holds them all. And they're like all together.

And it like seems like a, I mean, it is a happy ending ish. That's the end. We cut to her gravestone. So we, we cut to the, the husband visiting, visiting the gravestone.

Yeah. And then he like, he goes back to the room and then you know he like sees a little sign because there was also this kind of runner of him being a bit atheist throughout the whole thing and you know he picks up this medallion which lauda dropped which was the saint it was like a saint anthony medallion which you know is like the patron saint of lost things and um he picks it up and like the doors sort of like beautifully gust open with like wind and it's like he smiles and it's like this kind of cute moment where he's like this is this sucks but like i am now a believer because i know like they're they're here right now I am now a believer because I know like they're,

they're here right now. So it's a Christian film. I mean, it's, it's unbelievable. It's unbelievable. You guys, that was fucking brutal.

Like that is brutal. I really did not. I really did not see that coming. I really didn't see it coming either. And it's tough. It's real tough. But it is. It is beautiful. But it is just like, damn, it goes there.

Like I feel like not a ton of movies kill kids and make it the parents' fault. Not a ton. No. Not a ton will do that. This one does. This parents fault. Not a ton. No, this one does. This one does. This one does. You're right. It's,

um, it's really weird. And there's, there's sort of like, there's like this underlying thing of like the orphans were always going to bring her back. You know, like it's almost like she came back to the house.

Right. Right. Which means they were going to bring her back. I don't know. It's, it's really wild, but like I, um, yeah yeah i don't know why it really sticks with me and then i always cry at the end of course and like because i i i generally do not like the kind of thing where it's like we're back together in death like i i generally hate that but like something about the way they do it with

this peter pan thing which is i have to say is really delicately sprinkled in you're like wait this is really cute yeah they're not hitting you over the head with it it's you're just like oh right ah did she did she have a disability was that something i don't believe so okay it's a good question hen um but yeah i mean that's a a parent's worst nightmare to lose your kid and then on top of it that the fact that your kid was literally right like beneath your feet you heard him you heard him yeah and he that's like also the worst way to die to die that way is a horrible i mean yeah no it's true yeah. No, it's truly worst case scenario here. It's worst case, and in that way

it kind of makes the ending okay, where it's like, it's not actually trite if they're all together in the end in death, because it's like the worst possible death has happened, so in a way, the only way to resolve it is to give some relief

is to let that happen. He's not angry with her and the other kids aren't angry. They're like not upset with her. Right, because that's the other thing about kids. I feel like they don't know to hold grudges yet. They don't hold on to grudges. They're still innocent.

And so it's like they're kind of operating minute by minute and they love their parents. That's one thing that kids do. Yeah, it's I mean, it is a roller coaster. If there's one day you watch a scary movie, I think you might want to watch this. And even with some of the stuff spoiled, it's like it's still pretty amazing. But yeah, and I know even if you don't. But it is. Yeah, it is a pretty amazing. But yeah, and I know, even if you don't. But it is, yeah, it is a real, as you could tell,

it's a real genre-bending horror. Yeah, it's excellent. And it's directed so well. It's beautiful. It's like, the performances are like, truly, it's really, really good. So if you are brave listeners, see it. You gotta, you gotta you gotta

yeah well I hope I didn't scare you too bad I'm gonna have freaky dreams tonight I might have freaky dreams honestly I think talking about it is almost scarier than just watching it

we've had this discussion before that sometimes cause you depending on the mental pictures that you are building for yourself it can be it can be pretty bad. So really the one

person who really fucking lost out in this whole scenario is Benina. And I guess she was bad. We just established she was bad.

She did kill at least five children yeah so. Her kid died and then she then she just killed a bunch of kids got hit by she just killed a bunch of kids. And got away with it.

Got hit by a truck. Like a bunch of shit. And some people would say that's mean. Some people. Some people would say that it's mean. Some people. I don't want to speak for everyone, okay? No.

Don't come for me, listeners. And say, you know what? I think that's kind of nice. Okay, I respect your opinion you are very allowed to it but yeah it is wild and you know one other thing is like about this is like horror can be so pervasively and oppressively white and straight and um i think this is a good example of it being different and excellent. And yeah, because I always I complain about this a lot.

But like, anyone can be scared. Yeah. Like, anyone can be in a horror movie. Yeah. And we've got to do better. It's very true. Very true. Yeah.

And there's there's so many other ways to be scared. Horror movies, as we have just explained with our bingo, like, a lot of horror movies do the same fucking thing over and over again. Although this movie obviously is different in different ways. But like, there are a lot of opportunities to mine different experiences, human experiences that are very scary. There's a lot of things that are scary in the world. And look, most of them are not happening to white people. So we don't get a monopoly on fear. Like, that's really not how the world works. Very true. Right? Trudely.

I mean, yeah. But yeah, it's a nice way to vary it up, especially in the horror realm. Yeah, thank you for picking it. It was great. I'm so glad you picked this movie, Lana. Yeah, I was so happy to see it. It was, yeah, I was riveted. Thank you for telling us everything.

That was fascinating. Thank you for listening. Thank you for letting me put you through that roller coaster. It's our favorite thing. I love it. I love it. You guys, you guys have been great. Mano, so we talked about your Stitcher Premium,

Horny for Horror, but you've got some other podcasts. Where can people listen to you? Yeah, I have, man. Okay, I have one on HeadGum where we talk about Drag Race. Amazing. And it's called Drag Her. I host it with Nicole Byer. It's so fun.

And yeah, we're talking about All Stars, RuPaul's Drag Race. All Stars is currently out. And so go there if you want to talk about drag and all that fun calamity. Anyone watch Drag Race by any – no? Some? A little bit? Yes. I'm not currently watching it, but I guess.

Got it. I feel like I've been to DragCon because it's happened in la a couple times i went like two years ago and it was probably the most like entertained i've ever been in my entire life it's a good time it's a damn i bought you can get good wigs there and um and uh listen to my uh patreon podcast with betsy sodaro called we love trash really fun We talk about trash. Great, great, great. It's awesome. And our entire June patronage is going to three causes, including Black Lives Matter, Black Visions Collective,

and the National Bailout. Amazing. So, yeah. Go support me there. And then, yeah, just find my Instagram, to it my name at mono agapian and I'll be squawking about all this squawking

well thanks for squawking to us mono what a treat thank you you angels were there any I mean I guess the voices in this movie would be in Spanish yeah no voices just a regular outro for us sometimes we do outro for us. Sometimes we do

voices, but sometimes we do voices, but we don't have Emily did a fantastic Matthew Lillard impression from screen last week. Spot on. Maybe the listeners want to get another taste of it.

We just do Matthew Lillard every single week I don't know that they do want that I don't know it's a scream baby come on I'll be right back well great

that wraps us up here on behalf of all of us here. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Good boo. Good boo. Hi, everyone.

It's Emily again. Thank you so much for listening to another episode of Too Scary Didn't Watch. We hope you're loving the show and if you are please do go on over to apple podcast and subscribe give us a review and throw us a nice rating we really do appreciate it you can also follow us on social media at tstw podcast on instagram and twitter and keep up with us. We'll be telling you about upcoming movies and asking for your star signs because that's just the sort of thing we're into.

Next week's movie is going to be Eve's Bayou. So give that a watch before next Wednesday if you'd like. And we cannot wait to tell you all about it then. We love you so much. Bye!