Too Scary; Didn't Watch - THE POPE'S EXORCIST (LIVE!) with Paul F. Tompkins

Episode Date: November 1, 2023

Is it time for a Russellaissance because Russell Crowe is *perfection* in THE POPE'S EXORCIST! Join us and Paul F. Tompkins as we discuss this absoolutely unhinged film and our absoolutely *inspired* Halloween costumes!!!This audio is edited from our LIVE show! The unabridged, video version will be available until 11/5. Get the replay here!Movie talk begins @ 20:17Recap begins @ 46:17Follow the show: @TSDWpodcast on Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram.Check out our Patreon for bonus episodes and additional content!Rate Too Scary; Didn’t Watch 5 Stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Emily, Henley, and Sammy.Advertise on Too Scary; Didn't Watch via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Today's episode was recorded from a live show with our guest Paul F. Tompkins. And we all dressed up for Halloween. And so there's some references to our outfits. if you are feeling left out and want to see said outfits, the video replay is still available at moment.co slash TSDW. And otherwise, there are some photos on our Instagram at TSDW podcast. Hope everybody had a good Halloween and we hope that you enjoy this episode. had a good halloween and we hope that you enjoy this episode this is emily henley and sammy and you're listening to too scary didn't watch oh my god.

Sammy. Sammy, I can't even see your eyes at all. Like, I don't. Hi, everyone. Gorgeous. Okay, we can do this. We can do it. Hi welcome to too scary didn't watch the horror movie recap podcast for those too scared to watch for themselves i am ethan hunt

and my mission should i choose to accept it is to be uh told the plot of a horror movie. Ooh, I like that little rendition of the opening. I'm Henley and I'm too scared to watch scary movies. Usually I say I'm also too scared to watch scary movies with that. Sorry, I really threw you for a loop. You really threw me off. I am the hat salesman

for Terrifier. Not Terrifier. Definitely not Art the Clown. Absolutely not art the clown no absolutely not tiny hat haberdasher yes i'm a haberdasher clown lives and this was the tiniest hat i could find can you believe it you would think you'd be able to find a tinier hat than this on the market so it's either that or a hat for a guinea pig well this was for us a pug i thought it was i thought it would work okay anyway let's move on to the star of the show and i am of course the titanic and i love watching scary movies and so i watch them so that you don't have to and my face is really itchy. You're going to be like scraping it off. I'm really trying not to scratch it because it could

get messy. Honestly, Sammy, you're so impressive. The way you're so good at arts and crafts, it's amazing. It's an incredible work of art. I hadn't done arts and crafts in a while and it was really fun to just Oh no!

We're going down. We're going down we're going down oh no it's happening if you split that thing in half down the middle at some point tonight i'll be really impressed yes i did think about that how i could slowly start sinking it looks like that i like that they're on an angle um what are those called those are the oh man i got took some of my nose paint off this is a really really excellent costume that i've chosen i love it i'm so excited it's going great i think it's so far i would say that this is going great um but i i mean i think i know of something that'll make it go even greater i think i think so yeah and i think you know why sit and wait even a second longer before bringing in our guest uh for today's recap and you know i'll let him introduce himself and here he is

you shouldn't have spilled your beans! Yes! Oh, this is really special. This is, guys, this is a very special night. Can you hear me? I can't hear myself, but I hope you can hear me. I can hear you. Yes, we can hear you.

Can you hear us? The reveal of all of these, the titanic this was yeah this was monumental this is really incredible and that's a that's a real beard right paul yep that's right yeah yeah so we're all working hard and i had a suspicion eight months ago that you were going to ask me to do this so i I started working on my beard. It looks really good. Is that how long it takes to grow a beard like that? Eight months? Longer. I think longer. Longer. For something this

long, yeah. It's gorgeous. Everyone's looking gorgeous tonight. Thank you. I think this thing is the best any of us have ever looked. I'm really comfortable and I feel really normal and good Samia is now super worried

it's going to keep falling off I have to just keep adjusting my little strap in the back Samia sent me several artist renderings of how she envisioned this costume going that I will This is not intuitive I will share that later

because, you know, guess what? She freaking nailed it. She did. It's very clear. It's clear what you are. You nailed it. I did not have any... It's very clear.

There was no confusion. It's very clear. Oh, my God. Happy freaking Halloween, everybody. Happy Halloween. Yeah, we did it. Special special special time i'm very glad that we're here i'm very glad they were going okay i also i i was gonna i have to take my my gloves off so that i can get my phone and read my notes um but just need everybody to know that i did the gloves and now my hands hands are very hot. And so this is going to take me.

I can take it off like he does in the movie. Ooh, hot. Can I actually? Yes. Like full rubber gloves. Red dead. Blue, blue, red dead. No, they're like dish gloves.

Wow. Here we are, second year in a row to discuss a Halloween movie. I'm going to tell us for those who chose to partake, we do have a little drinky here. So it's cocktail hour. The return.

Great spooky glass, Paul. Fun, right? Cheers to you. And I believe Henley is drinking. Is this your... There we go, Sam And I believe Henley is drinking. Is this your, there we go, Sam. It's Henley. Henley is able to drink alcohol. It's wonderful.

For those who don't know, Henley had a child 10 days ago. 10 days ago, she had a child. 10 days ago. This is massive news. That's why my costume is a tiny hat for a dog. It's really special. And the same sweatshirt I've been wearing all day. Yeah, I had a child 10 days ago, and her name is May, and she's great. She's really cute.

She's really cute. She's really cute. Has she asked about me? That was the first thing she said when she came out. Really? Oh, that's flattering. She said, I heard you're doing a live show with PFT. Full sentence.

That's right. Full sentence, just out the gate. So impressive. No, what's she like? Tell us about her. I'm sorry. Sammy's teeth coming through. I know.

It's really scary. I need to address something really quick. So, I really hyped up this thing which happens in Greenwich, Connecticut. Paul, if you don't know, I moved to Greenwich, Connecticut. Yes, yes, yes, yes. And the Greenwich Hospital serves you lobster? Yeah. After you give birth steak and lobster. Surf and turf.

Surf and turf. Surf and turf and champagne. So this was a real thing. So it's a real thing. But we didn't do it. We didn't do it. And I'm so sorry to let everyone down who messaged me about it. I got so many messages from people being like, how was the lobster?

How was the steak? Tell us everything. Pictures? Pics? Pics of the lobster? I don't have it. And I'm really, really sorry. I'm so disappointed to have to share that news with you.

Basically, we got discharged early. And so it's supposed to be your last meal. And then we got discharged earlier than we thought we were. Did you get discharged early? Or did they run out of steak and lobster? Or is it all a myth? No, I've talked to so many moms. Get out have to get you out of there before you'd know? You're fine.

Everyone's healthy. I think you should go home. Yeah. Maybe you should get out of here. Your podcast that everyone at this hospital has listened to. We're worried you've outed us. We know who you are. We listen.

Anyway, so. You came clean. You let everybody know. what can you do to keep with the logic that sammy first established i will just have to have a third child so that i can go get the lobster yeah that makes sense that's probably the only way because i mean hospital lobster has to be the best lobster okay i've said this to so many people i've met here i've been like hospital lobster though right and no one everyone's like everyone's like i don't think it's funny no they're like yeah it's really good i'm like what that that sounds like it's from a horror movie we do we have

mentioned that henley is getting the firmed i do think in some capacity that was something i got really worried about i got really worried about I got really worried about that You should be You just keep an eye out, you know I'm not saying it is happening I'm just saying all the ingredients are there I know

No, I like There's so much evidence That I am currently being affirmed But I'm not going to do anything about it Because the thing is Well, that's the point You can't do anything about it Because the thing is Well that's the point You can't do anything about it Yeah

When you're being the firm They're already listening It's really nice It's also like nice I think you could just lean into it Yeah He would have saved himself A lot of trouble in that movie

If he'd just been like Great Exactly Honestly Just go along with it The firm me What do I care Yeah

You can Here's what I'll say now You can the firm me Don't the say now. You can affirm me. Don't the game me. Yes. Yes. If I had to pick one, I'm absolutely getting firmed. Would you want to be Pelican briefed?

You know what? I've never seen it, so I'll have to get back to you. I haven't either. And I don't know what it's about. I really thought for one second you were going to come back in a completely different costume That would be fun It's all a big joke Sammy we can't hear you

No nothing Well you can keep explaining it But we can't hear it It's just a mouth moving on a ship That is Titanic on the ocean Oh even sadder than the actual Titanic. It's a bigger deal.

It's happening again. It's a disaster. It's happening again. Oh my God. I will say, so Joel is in the other room and I'll have joel tell me if if everything's bad he did sprain his ankle this week so so he can't run and bring me things what happened i can't scream for things for him to he just rolled his ankle and it sprained it you know because

bodies are more fragile than he's he's's probably upset that I'm saying this, but it's all just to say that I can't scream for Joel to come bring me things. Maybe maybe he's faking it so that I won't scream for him to bring me things. That's interesting. He's not. He's not. His ankle was really swollen. Really not faking it.

Big, fat, big, fat ankle. He's going to be fine. Everybody's fine. Well, I'll explain this little cocktail in case anybody had chosen to make it. This is my first time making it. It's the Devil's Soul, which I assume is on theme. I've not seen this movie. Yeah.

It's rye and mezcal and a verna and elderflower liqueur and Campari. Whoa. It's a lot of things. It's very boozy, but it's quite good. Yeah, it is good. I'm a fan. Yeah, it sounds delicious. Henley, what are you drinking?

You're drinking a little mezcal soda? Mezcal soda. I'm so happy for you. Thank you. It's only my second taste of alcohol in nine months yeah can you believe that tracks that really tracks what was the what was the other one was the champagne at the hospital no i missed the goddamn champagne they don't even bring the champagne no you guys i didn't get the champagne either.

The first was last night at Head Mascow. Last night. Last night? Yeah, last night. Really anticlimactic. Nothing too crazy happening. I think if it's the first sip after nine months, it's exciting no matter what. It's really exciting.

Except then I frantically Googled like when I can breastfeed after drinking alcohol. I had all the like. Can't you do it like immediately slash during? It's fine. But then you wait a little while During! Yes! It basically It's gonna take a while to get through there. As long as you're not drinking it's like one drink or two drinks

it's such a nominal amount of alcohol it does not matter. Right because it's getting processed and then it's not like she's drinking it's not like you're baby birding her and like giving her the drink from your mouth. No. But that was, of course, the first thing I imagined before I Googled it. The American Medical Association, of course, says to wait two hours before you breastfeed only because they just don't want women to like enjoy themselves or feel relaxed about anything. No, it is true. It is true. Um,

because you're not on, you're not on your schedule. You're on the baby's schedule of when the baby wants to eat. So it's not like you can plan your drink and then in two hours I will decide to breastfeed the baby. Yeah, exactly. And also they've done research that shows that it doesn't actually matter, but it's like, well, let's not acknowledge that research. Let's let's instead fear monger and make women feel more scared and guilty. That's kind of my assessment of the medical profession in general. Make women feel scared and guilty. Yeah, actually.

I think that's a lot of things. That's a lot of things. Paul, how's your spooky season been so far? You know, it's been really good. We did some cleaning out of the garage. And so as a result, that's spooky enough. But then as a result, a lot of the Halloween decorations I couldn't get to, which bothers me a little. Yeah.

So we have some stuff out there. We have our skeleton, of course. Of course. In a rocking chair. We have our black feather wreath, of course. Yes. But we don't have our lighted skull pathway, which is one of our favorites. Damn. But we're doing okay.

We're managing. favorites. Damn. But we're doing okay. We're managing. Good. Okay. Well, that's good. Yesterday was Janie's birthday. Happy birthday, Janie. This was at the suggestion of our friends, Matt Gorley,

who I believe is a friend of the podcast, and Amanda Lund suggested we go to a murder mystery dinner at the Langworth Hotel. We've never done anything like this before. We're like, absolutely, let's do it. It'll be us. She's got a freaking late October birthday and you've never done a murder mystery.

I know. Does it sound like it's coming from my mic now? It does. It does. We're back. Same as back. Does it sound like it's coming from my mic now? It does. It does. We're about to learn about a murder mystery dinner, Sammy. I know. I can't wait to hear about this murder mystery dinner. So we thought, okay, it'll be the four of us and then a bunch of 80-year-old people.

And then let me tell you something. This was, not only was the crowd so much younger than I expected them to be, like we were on the older side of the audience. One of the most diverse groups of people I've ever seen at an event in Los Angeles. I did not see that coming at all. It was wild. It was wild. Like I would say the white people were the minority at this gathering. It was really straight, except for all the actors, of course.

But when we got there, you know, you have to, first you have to mingle, the actors mingle with you for cocktails outside. Oh, yeah. This kind of thing is like a weird, it's almost a fear for me, almost. I think because I am a performer, I dread like being called on in an audience or, you know, having to do a participate in any way like that,

because I'm, I'm hyper-focused on the idea that like, I don't want to, this is not my time to perform. I'm supposed to be, you know, do what this person needs me to do. And it makes me very nervous and anxious. Yeah. Okay. But then I started, I started to get into it. I'm talking to these people. We were having fun. And then when we went to sit down for dinner, it was just like a scramble for seats, right?

There's like all these round tables and everything. A scramble, like a, like musical chairs? Well, you just kind of. They like open the doors and everyone. Like a true, like a, like musical chairs. Well, you just kind of, they like open the doors. It was not an official scramble. It ended up being a scramble. And so we were like, okay,

where are there four seats together? Where are there four seats together? And we finally found a table. We sat down and then we discovered at that table that, uh, we were at a special table where one of us had to be a character and everybody immediately nominated me to do it but then it ended up being i had to be uh frankie fines uh reporter for the los angeles times oh sure and so you have to go up you have to ask people questions questions it's like the sort of

thing that really normally gives me hives but I had a fucking great time oh nice amazing I think we solved the crime but they said we got a detail or two wrong which I disagree with but

but I did win an award what? there were awards, they give out audience awards at the end of the night and I won best actor. Amazing. Congratulations. That's really great. Is that going to make you feel less nervous next time you're called upon? Absolutely. Absolutely. It's pretty point to this award. Rude to Jamie on her birthday. Yeah. Well, because then I have to really earn it. This was a surprise and it's like next time, well, I have to

I have something to prove now. This sounds very fun. I lately have really wanted to do nights like that that are just like, this is a kind of night I've never had. I'm craving those kinds of experiences

sort of across the board. Like when Sammy and I went to the Philharmonic. Now, granted, we are going to do it again, but Joel's never done it. So it's going to be his first time. But it's just kind of a fun way to spend a night. Be like, well, this is new. Absolutely. I haven't done this before.

So that's my spooky season. That's spooky season. That's really, that's really, that sounds great. How's the beard? How's the beard working, Paul? You know what? It's my spooky season. That's spooky season. That's really, that's really, that sounds great. How's the beard? How's the beard working, Paul? You know what? It's staying on there. It looks attached.

Because it's real and you grew it. Of course. Because it's real. It's obviously real. This is the thing that guys with beards say. It's staying on there. It's staying on. How's your beard staying on?

It's staying on. Guys are always asking each other that. Yeah. We do a lot of beard check-ins your beard staying on? Staying on. Guys are always asking each other that. Yeah. We do a lot of beard check-ins, yeah. Yeah. Staying on? Hey, let's introduce this freaking movie. How do we feel about that?

I can't wait. Let's do it. I can't wait. This week's movie is The Pope's Exorcist. Woo! It just came out this very year. 2023. It was directed by Julius Avery.

Written by Michael Petronian and Evan Spilatopoulos. Based on books by Gabriel Amor. I don't know whether you're supposed to pronounce the T in French or not. It's Italian. Amort. Amort. And so it's Italian

and you say the T and that makes sense given... Just a little bit later. Amort. Yeah. Amort. Amort.

Amort. Amort. Amort. Starring Russell Crowe, Daniel Zavado, Alexandra Aso, Peter D'Souza,

Faini, Laurel Marsden and Franco Nero. It's streaming on Netflix. I'm very excited to learn about this movie. I'm very, very excited. Me too. I'm so excited. Is this

now when I talk about exorcisms? I think this is when you now talk about exorcisms. You really, you let us know like, hey, just get ready. I'm going to talk about exorcisms and I am ready. So the reason this came up is because Tim, um, started a new job a couple of months ago and one of his like mentors in this new job wrote a book called Leading with Love, Essentials of Church Leadership. It's by a man named Terrence Ellsbury. He's been an Episcopalian priest for decades. He's like 80 now, I think. He's retired, but he still works at the church for fun. Sure.

I bet it's fun. It's a nice church. So when Tim was reading this book, he showed me a chapter that he'd written, um, about how to respond to a parishioner that's asked you to drive evil spirits from their home. So there is a whole chapter in this book about how to perform exorcisms that Tim had to read and, you know, get to know. So the perspective I I want, I'm curious, you maybe you'll tell us, but the phrasing of that, how to respond to a parishioner who tells you there are evil spirits in your home feels different than how to banish evil spirits from someone's home.

Like, is he sort of like, here's how you, you know, you know, I let them know that you like got him out. No, no, no, no. That's not the case. He buys it. Okay. Now that's interesting. Yeah. No, no, no. And all of this i find deeply unsettling you guys okay what's unsettling about it

so anyone who knows me knows that i don't believe in ghosts i refuse to it's a it's a pure defense mechanism um how so i am not a fan of the fact that now there is a person in my life who I respect and, um, no personally who has performed exorcisms and fully believes in them. And I, well, that's demons, not ghosts, right? Sort of that's what specifically aren't, isn't it demons, not ghosts or can it be both? Well, yes, I, but I, they all fall into the same category for me. I'm not, I'm not believing in demons or ghosts. I'm trying not to. I'm trying not to. You live in a bad place to believe in it. You really do. I know. I know. So I'm just going to tell you guys a few tidbits from this book. Um,

so that everyone can, I, I felt like it was important for us to start from a place of, you know, real factual information. Because I feel like we need that foundation if we're going to move forward hearing about this movie. I want us to be coming from a place of, you know, of a real professional scientific perspective. Yes, yes, of course. Exactly. So he says, you have to study the situation. Okay. You meet with who's made the request. You find out from them why they feel their house or this person needs spiritual cleansing. You try to discern if it's truly the presence of evil or it's some relational conflict

that's causing anger within the family system. And if it's the latter, you encourage counseling. But if you feel like they've made a case for the existence of some evil presence in their home, determine the best way to help them. Sammy nodding. I know. I feel like I should shake my head instead of nod. Truly, Sammy, you've sort of faded

into your background for me that when you spoke a second ago, I was like, oh, right've sort of faded into your background for me that when you spoke a second ago, I was like, oh, right. Sam is there as a ship. I'm so sorry. That must be a tough conversation, though, when people are like, there's evil spirits in here. And you have to say, hey, have you tried, like, couples therapy?

I think you just need therapy. Okay, but if, see, Have you tried like a couple's therapy? I think you just need therapy. Okay. But if, see, here's the thing though. Sometimes it's real and whatever you do, if it's real, don't try to brush off their concerns or indicate there's no such thing as evil spirits. Exorcisms of people or places was standard practice in New Testament times. Jesus and his disciples delivered people of demons regularly so it's real you guys okay yeah wow okay wow terry this goes on to say okay wait i'm so sorry this is the

part i need to know i need to know really got me okay in the beginning of his religious career he did not believe in evil spirits he did not believe but that changed over time because he's been present at several exorcisms and seen the manifestations of evil before and during the exorcisms and the marked changes in the women and men who'd been delivered. Having witnessed this, he went to the Bible to see what it says about evil and how to fight it. It says, honestly, I would have done that before. I think that's your starting point. Oh, wait, the Bible talks about this. Not to tell this guy's job, but

you know. He's retired now. Long story short, I'm going to cut to the chase. Our primary weapon against evil is prayer. He goes on to list some pretty intense prayers that you can do.

Saying Jesus a lot is key. That's a real key part of the can do. Saying Jesus a lot is key. That's a real key part of the whole process. Just saying Jesus? I mean, this movie we're going to talk about today seems like it's staying really close to the scientific facts. Okay, great. I'd love to hear that. I'd love to hear that. If anyone's feeling unsettled, I just want you to know that Terry ends on a comforting note.

He says that we're assured of victory. The Bible's very clear on this point. Christ defeated Satan through his death on the cross and his resurrection. He already has won the ultimate battle for us. That's why when we pray against evil, it must go. But we do have to claim the victory and exterminate it when the battle comes directly to us or someone we care for we have to stand up and fight we have to stand up and fight you guys and so that's that's really that's really it and that's really victorious it's not that complicated you guys why you gotta make it hard you know what i mean the last thing i'll say is that we had a listener write in

and provide us with a great hack um her her exorcism her dad yeah her dad is a priest okay and um i couldn't find the comment so i'm sorry if i'm like messing this up a little bit but what she said he suggested is that if you think your whole house is haunted you put holy water in the sprinkler system and you just turn that bad boy on. You turn the sprinkler system on. What a heck. You flood the house. Incredible.

With holy water. Flood the whole house. That seems like a pretty. You might have other problems. You have to move all your shit out first. Holy water is... Where do you get it? Where do you get enough to put it in your sprinklers?

Can you just bless some water and it's whole water? You have to have a priest bless some water. Oh, okay, great. Could he just come and bless the sprinklers? That seems more... Yeah, bless the pipes. I'd have him go to the main. That's a hack for you.

That's a hack on a hack. And I would say, just keep it in the lawn area. Don't flood your house. Wait, but what if the spirit's in the house? Yeah. Well, start with the lawn and see if it helps. Well, you could start with the lawn. It might help.

Maybe just our lawn is haunted. I know, haunted lawn. Sounds like wishful thinking to me. I'm haunted lawn. I'm safe inside, but. Oh boy, once I get out there, I am in trouble. I heard a strange noise on the lawn. Wow.

That's all I got on exorcisms, you guys. They do that in Constantine, which we got to talk about one day. We do got to talk about Constantine someday. A really fantastic film. The sprinkler system hack? Yeah. It's not in a house, but it's like a warehouse, I think.

Was it in Constantine Vampires? No. Yes? No. Demons. No. Sorry. Demons.

Demons. Yeah. Yes, of course. Of course. Okay. Well. No. Sorry. Demons. Demons. Yeah. Yes, of course. Of course. Okay. Well, let's I mean, should we do a little trivia about this particular film? I would love to hear some trivia about this movie. Yes.

We've got a little bit. We've got a little bit of trivia. I'll go ahead and say it has a 49% on Rotten Tomatoes. Oh. 45 on Metacritic and a 6.1 on IMDb. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay on IMDb. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Budget of 18 million. It made 76.7 million. So, you know. Great. Rotten Tomatoes be damned. They're doing just fine.

Yeah. Russell Crowe plays Father Gabriel Amort, a real priest An exorcist for the Diocese of Rome Father Amort and five other priests Founded the International Association of Exorcists So you know Nice to know they've got a union

It's important And by 2013 Father Amort Said he had performed 160,000 exorcisms. What? That's so many. That's 160,000 exorcisms. Wait, can he do multiple at once?

I don't know, Henley. Is he doing 10,000 exorcisms in one exorcism somehow? Yeah, it's like, how does he count? When does he get to, he's like, well, then now we're at 160,000. I did see that he said one person can have a bunch of exorcisms. So it doesn't mean 160,000 people. It means like the exorcism didn't work. So we have to do it again and again and again.

So that counts for 10 not one okay i need to know how many years is 160 000 days sorry i just have to know this it does seem like a lot of time it seems like too much time yeah no it's unrealistic it's he's just doing exorcisms from the second he wakes up to the second he gets to bed. I would think an exorcism would be one per day. 160,000 days is 438 years.

Okay, Gabe, we gotta see. We gotta see the receipt. Do your work. Show your work. Show your work. Show your work again. That is hyperbolized, my friend. We need context.

Okay. Okay, while researching the life and work of Gabriel Amorth, Russell Crowe discovered that his personal favorite movie was The Exorcist the 1973 version so much so that amort became good friends with director william friedkin who later directed a documentary of amort's work as an exorcist it's called the devil and father amort

and it would be the last film freaking directed to be released in his lifetime before he died and August 7th, 2023. Wow. Yeah. Wow. I'd, I'd be interested to watch that documentary. I would be as well.

It's very interesting as an exorcist who's, you know, you've done so many to, um, love the movie, the exorcist. I'm like, I wish I would like to know what does he like about it?

You know? Yeah. I guess we all like when people we like subject matter that we're interested in you know yeah it's nice to be talked about but I mean I didn't like the movie punchline you know sure it wasn't good I liked okay I liked the movie Titanic I love the movie Titanic I like all the Mission Impossible movies and, you know, everything Tom does in his professional life. There you go. Thank you for that qualifier.

Thank you. Okay. According to an interview with a Vatican approved exorcist, he speculated that if Gabriel Amorth was alive, he would be disgusted by the use of his name and character treatment exploited in a film such as this, saying he would be railing against the movie. Oh, it feels good to dishonor a memory, huh? Yeah, it feels really good. It feels really good. And finally and most importantly,

is Russell Crowe came up with the idea to have the Vespa because he saw some priests on Vespas and he wanted to do it. He looks cool. I mean, it's, it's, it makes the movie. It really does. Because just when you've forgotten about it, it happens again. Yeah. It's sprinkled in at exactly the right moments and it was the right call. I gotta say, I, this has got me thinking about Russell Crowe. I stopped by to deliver this cocktail to Paul and Janie earlier today, and we started talking about Russell Crowe a bit. And, like, where do we think it happened that he went from being a serious, very well-respected actor to kind of a big joke?

Les Mis. That's what I was thinking. I think it's Les Mis. I never saw Les Mis. Because's what I was thinking. I think it's Les Mis. I never saw Les Mis. Because he was very bad in it. I almost feel like it happened a little bit before Les Mis, just because I remember him before that on Twitter, where he would just list his workout and what he ate that day. Oh, yeah.

Also, I think there was a time when he threw a phone at somebody or something like that. He did get a reputation for being a bit of a nightmare. So I had to do some pro trivia lookup. Yeah, yeah. Because I was really... Yeah, what was that, Paul?

That thumbs up? Yeah. I didn't do that. Is this haunted? He haunted by an emoji ghost. I don't think that how is this haunted are you haunted by an emoji ghost I don't think I touched anything

I don't know how that happened it's the spirit of the Titanic it's the spirit of the Titanic it's always the spirit

of the Titanic from below I like this says the ship I like that it was positive yeah a mysterious thing that happened

also Emily I do have to say that I'm sorry that I did not Says the ship. I liked that it was positive. Yeah. A mysterious thing that happened. Also, Emily, I do have to say that I'm sorry that I did not know you were coming and you saw me in my lounging clothes. And I know that for a lot of people, it's like seeing the teacher at the mall or something. Oh, interesting. And I'm sorry for you that you think that's what it's like. What does lounging clothes mean? I want to take that off your plate, you know? I don't even want to describe them.

It's terrible. You guys were having a lovely time. Is it a moo-moo? Yeah, I was in my moo-moo. I was just going to drop it at your door, but then the screen was open and, you know, and it was lovely. It was a lovely surprise, but I wasn't thinking I didn't drive home thinking, oh, my God. Oh, my God. They were lounging clothes.

I love a lounge. We have we strictly wear home clothes in the home. We don't wear jeans in the home. Of course. No, I would have been horrified had you been in like formal clothing. Honestly, that would have been upsetting to me. Yeah. But it wouldn't be that surprising, right?

No. Los Angeles. That's true. Los Angeles, that's true. Los Angeles is home to lounging clothes everywhere you go. So true. Oh, lounging clothes are great. You only see soft pants when you go outside in LA. Soft pants. Soft pants only. Never any hard pants. No hard pants. No hard pants.

No hard pants. I just need to tell you guys a bit of trivia that I looked up about Russell Crowe. And then we do need to talk about the movie. But did you guys know this? Because I didn't. Which is that on March 9th 2005. You don't need to know the date. Russell Crowe revealed to GQ magazine that FBI agents had approached him prior to the 73rd

Academy Awards and told him that the terrorist group Al-Qaeda had wanted to kidnap him. What? I got no other information about that fact. And then they just left? How did he get that information? On the red carpet? When did this happen? Hey, Al-Qaeda wants to kidnap you well gotta go was it a bunch of celebrities they wanted to kidnap or they're like that wrestle we need to know the you know i really exercise routines i really don't know but i think maybe he's a bit a bit cuckoo you know oh what a perfect word that you have chosen so I'm so glad you said that, Emily. You have no idea, but you're about to.

He may be a big cuckoo. So maybe that's what happened. Maybe that's what happened to Russell Crowe. But the man was in so many spectacular, very serious movies. And then not so much anymore. He's fantastic in this, I'd say. He goes for it. He's absolutely going this, I'd say. He goes for it. He's incredible.

He's absolutely going for it. He's going for it. Has he won an Oscar? Did he win for LA Confidential? He did for Gladiator. Gladiator. Oh, for Gladiator, sure. Gladiator, and he was nominated for A Beautiful Mind.

Oh, right. You guys remember A Beautiful Mind? Yes. Anyway. Yes. Yes, I do. My dad saw it in theaters and then came home and woke me up and told me the entire plot of a beautiful. Henley, you have to hear this. Henley, wake up, wake up, wake up. It's so important.

I've just seen something extraordinary. It's so important that you hear this right now. Right now while you're sleeping. Why did he do it? Why? What year did it come out? How old was I? Young. You were young. I think it was like

2000 or something. It was before he was told that he was going to be kidnapped. Even in terms of like dad behavior, that is extreme. 2001, 2001. Wow. Oh my God. I'm crying. It's really funny.

I know I'm like, I'm starting to cry also. And I'm going to have, I can't cry in this, in this look. In that look, you can't cry. You're like a Kardashian'm gonna have I can't cry in this In this look In that look you can't cry You're like a Kardashian right now you can't cry You mustn't disrespect the Titanic Not at all Oh man I can't wait

It's been a while since I've experienced A Russell Crowe picture Um He used to be such a babe When I was looking stuff up about him today I was like god damn Just wait till you see him as a Pope on a Vespa? A hot priest

I'm sorry Pope, exorcist He was very hunky When he first came on the scene Yeah Should we watch this trailer? I didn't watch it Oh my god yes I didn't watch it beforehand but I think we're probably going to want to see it

Yeah, I want to see it. I need to hear this accent for sure Father Gabriele Amort On the night of June 4th you performed an exorcism. That was not an exorcism. The majority of cases do not require an exorcism. 98% are recommended by him to doctors and psychiatrists.

The other 2%, I call it evil. We have more questions for you, Father Amort. You have a problem with me? You talk to my boss, the Pope. There is a case that needs your attention. Bring me the priest. I'm here to help, Julia. Wrong priest! Take caution.

There are secrets buried there. Is the Vatican sealed? The Church has fought against this demon before. The Vatican covered it up. We need to find out why. You've been played. You talk the bait. Whatever you do, you only do because God allows it. Did he allow that?

Imagine what could happen if the devil possessed the soul of the Pope's exorcist. Who will defend you? My faith does not require defense. Wait, this looks amazing. Hell yeah. Wow! That looks so good. I want to watch it.

Okay, wait. Did you guys, by chance, recognize the voice of the little boy that's possessed by the demon? Did it seem familiar to you? Can I guess? Yes, of course. Was it Michael Gambon? No. But that's a good guess.

Thank you. Thank you. No. Any hints? I want a hint. He's, some might say say the original hot dad oh from the witch yeah wow so there is a hot dad in this after all that was up for debate i gotta say that was a controversial hot dad choice. But it is where it originated, and that

deserves some respect, Henley. Also, we were talking last night about, we should start thinking about two dads that are physically hot, like high in temperature, and he was, because he was chopping wood. Oh, like sweating. So he's a hot, hot dad. That's a hot hot dad that's a hot dad hot hot that's

a hot dad it applies regardless um that looks stunning i really i was into russell crowe's italian accent oh yeah big fan of it i thought that it was going to be hard to listen to. I thought it was going to be difficult. No, it's not bad. It's really not bad. I looked in some Reddit comments of people asking Italians their rating of it, and they said

it's not bad. Huge! Huge for Russell Crowe. Okay! Okay! I love that for him me too I thought it was gonna be like a John Voight Anaconda situation or

something where you're just like oh I don't know what that is he knocks you out of the park Russell Crowe you know he deserved that Oscar he deserved it he's good I also just love an Italian accent I love to hear it me too Russell Crowe, you know, he deserved that Oscar. He deserved it. He's good. He's good. I also just love an Italian accent. I love to hear it.

Yeah. Me too. Oh, wait. I'm also remembering Russell Crowe started a band. And I think that's when he started, people started to kind of make fun of him. He started a band with genre of music. It was called 30 Odd Foot of Grunt. What? What? Oh. Oh. How the hell is that what it's called? genre of music 30 odd foot of grunt what?

how the hell is that what it's called? that doesn't make any sense 30 odd foot of grunt? yes and then he left that band and he started a different band with the same the same first letters so that he could still sell the same the same first letters so that he could still sell

the same merch. Because his merch was all acronym based? I think it was all acronym based, yeah. I mean, hey, we can relate. 30 odd foot of Taufog? Yeah. That's so much. He wanted to keep selling his Taufog merch? Yeah, I forget

what the new band name was, but yeah. He had a garage filled with merch. I didn't know what to do with it. Exactly. Wow. Okay, so yeah, I mean, I feel like I... His wife was serious. I'm sort of seeing what...

You got to start another band with the same initials. I can't keep tripping over this stuff, Russell. Start another band. It's the only way oh my god well i'm really excited to hear about this movie yeah should we get ready let's do it let's do it in the past few years i have hit a point where i only want to be wearing clothes that are comfortable. It happened. It happened to me. But you know what? I still also want to look cute. And these are two desires that are often extremely opposing.

And I don't want to have to sacrifice. I want both. I want comfort. And I want to feel cute and confident. And guess what? Skims has freaking done it again with their soft lounge collection. I am currently very, very obsessed with I have the soft lounge tank and boxer set. OK, this tank, it's a great little rib tank. Classic. You can wear it every day. You can pair it with jeans. You can wear it out in the world or you can wear it with this little boxer short that is so comfortable. It is super, super soft, lightweight rib. They're great. I also truly have been for years stealing Joel's boxer briefs to wear as sleepwear and loungewear. And guess what?

That ain't cutting it. I'm not feeling too cute in those. I'm not feeling too comfortable. But desperate times. However, desperate times know more because Skims has done it. You too can get on board with this. You can see just how cute and comfortable you can be. Shop the Skims Soft Lounge Collection at Skims.com. Now available in sizes extra, extra small through 4X. And if you haven't yet, be sure to let them

know that we sent you. After you place your order, select podcast in the survey and select too scary didn't watch in the drop down menu that follows. I used to love back to school shopping so much that I would tell my mom that I wanted to work at Staples when I grew up because I just loved getting all the things that I needed that I would use every day in class. I still to this day have nightmares about showing up in class without notebooks or number two pencils. Really scary stuff. But luckily, I wake up and I realize I don't actually need notebooks or number two pencils anymore. But this fall, there is something that I will be using every day and would be terrified to be caught

without and that's Raycon's best-selling everyday earbuds. I've been trying to go on walks every day and so I need earbuds that I can rely on to listen to all my favorite podcasts and I know you guys listen to podcasts as well so you know what I'm talking about. I got my Raycons in carbon black because that's my vibe but they come in other cool colors as well like forest green and brush violet but my favorite thing about them is the battery life. They stay charged for 32 hours and they have a new quick charge function. So 10 minutes of charging gets you 90 minutes of battery life. Really freaking convenient for, I don't know, say a long morning walk. You forgot to charge them and you just need a little bit of juice to listen to one episode of a podcast

it's only going to take you 10 minutes it's incredible so go to buyraycon.com slash too scary today to get 20 to 40 percent off site wide that's right you'll get up to 40% off everything on Raycon's website when you go to buyraycon.com slash too scary. Buyraycon.com slash too scary. If you're a new parent, a bad day means you either ran out of coffee, diapers, patients, or all of the above. Stocking up on cold brew and deep breaths are all you, but at least HelloBello's got your baby's butt covered. HelloBello believes all families deserve premium, affordable baby products. With their ultra-convenient diaper bundle subscription service that includes seven packs of diapers and four packs of plant-based wipes, you'll never run out of supplies, ever

again. Better yet, they're delivered to your door. Set, change, and cancel your delivery schedule whenever you want. And these designs are so cute, you guys. I did not think it would be possible to be jealous of a diaper. Named Best Diaper Subscription by New York Magazine and winner of the 2022 Good Housekeeping Parenting Award, Hello Bello will keep you well-stocked on dipes and wipes. Go to hellobello.com slash too scary to get 30% off your first customized bundle and a full-size freebie product of your choice. That's HelloBello.com slash TooScary to start bundling with 30% off your first order. Don't forget, that's HelloBello.com slash TooScary. It starts with, and you know you're in for it when you see a quote.

When it's the first thing on the screen. Oh, yeah. when you see a quote, when it's the first thing on the screen. Oh, yeah. When we jeer at the devil and tell ourselves that he does not exist, that is when he is happiest. And who said that? Father Gabriele Amort, Chief Exorcist of the Vatican, 1986 to 2016.

All right. Now, we see a big guy on a Vespa, and I think you know who that is. It is June 4th, 1987 in Italy. This priest gets off of this Vespa, goes up to a house. There's a guy sitting out front with a big pig. Okay. You know, the priest is like, hey, beautiful pig um we were all thinking he had to we're all thinking it's like well you can't not say it just be rude yeah so um he goes inside

and there's already a priest there and the priest on site says this looks like a possession there's a young guy writhing around on the bed. Russell Crowe is the new priest. He questions him. He pulls up a chair. He pulls out this medallion, which I was very excited that I identified it as a St. Benedict medallion. St. Benedict is the patron saint of exorcists. And you were supposed to call on him for protection from demons. And so he waves it in front of him and he's asking him questions like, so who are you?

Who are you? If you're a demonic spirit, then who am I? And the kid is like avoiding his questions, speaking in English. And then he starts, Russell Crowe starts taunting him and he's like, hey, if you think you're so powerful, why don't you possess this guy, that guy? Why don't you, you probably couldn't even possess this pig. They brought the beautiful pig in. He's like, you probably couldn't even do that.

And he's like, I can do it. All of a sudden the kid falls back. They immediately shoot the pig. The pig is dead. And Russell Crowe's like, that's how it goes. And boom! The Pope's Exorcist. So funny. One of the other things he says is,

if you're a demon, describe hell. Describe hell! If you're such a fucking demon, describe hell. How do you fucking describe hell and then jump into this pig? You're such a demon. You're such a fucking demon.

So now, it is July 1st, 1987. A month later, who cares? I know. Okay, I'm so glad you said that because it shows us the date so many times that it does not matter at all. All movies need to know this. If you put a date up on that screen,

that's gone from my mind as soon as it leaves the screen. Yeah. It's like one thing. If we're jumping around in time, this is like, you know, it's the same story. We're just moving forward.

Yeah. Show like a change of seasons, whatever, you know, show don't tell. And it's like, I'm not going to know. Is that important? It's not important. It's not a change of seasons, whatever. You know, show, don't tell. And it's like, I'm not going to know. Is that important?

It's not important. It's not a change of seasons. It doesn't matter when this happens. It's June to July. It's both summer. We could have just assumed it was some amount of time later. Yeah. It really got me.

Like, why are they showing us these specifics? Not the last time, by the way. Not the last time. Not the last time. So, okay. We now see a mom and a daughter and a son in a car They're driving towards this crumbling abbey Which I guess is going to be their new home The daughter is like a sassy teen

Little boy in the back How old would you say he was, Sammy? You know I'm tempted to say eight Because it's what I like to say But I think he's a little older right He's like probably like eleven Okay

You think younger Is this a boy who was possessed I have no idea Should we say nine and a half I I mean like the difference He's nine and a half Um

So he will He's not responding to anybody He's listening to his walkman. So they get into this abbey. It's like all falling apart and everything. And then we go to the Vatican. And we see that the Vatican's very busy. There's a bunch of people walking around.

And I liked that they had just a priest walking through like swinging incense. Sure. Why not? I did that once. The vibes are important. My sister and I were flower girls, but I get not flowers for like a very Christian wedding. And we walked down the aisle with incense. Two little girls walking down an aisle with incense.

Very scary. Oh, that's a whole thing. It's a whole thing. It's so important. The incense is very important. It's called High Church. I've never seen little kids do it before. Little girls. Again, I'll repeat. Scary. Little girls are so responsible. Little girls should run the world.

I trust them completely with incense. I did take the job seriously i just think it's a scary i'm sure that i would trust you more than an adult man with that incense as a small child fair enough that's fair so we see russell crowe is uh contemplating a portrait of saint michael uh some nuns walk by, some young pretty nuns, and of course they're looking at him like, that's the guy. And he gives

them what is about to be his catchphrase, cuckoo. No way. Yes. He does little pinching motions at them. Cuckoo, cuckoo. And they giggle and run away. What? Run away. Like he is a haunted house

that they dared each other to look at. So, yeah. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. He's a fun exorcist, you know? He's fun.

He's not a serious exorcist. He's got a certain charisma, doesn't he? The devil does not like jokes. Yeah. So, that's a tool he has. It's a tool he has. It's his incredible sense of humor.

Yeah, okay. Cuckoo. Cuckoo is the tip of the iceberg. This iceberg? I didn't even make that connection. Sammy was disappointed she hadn't made her microphone into an iceberg. I wanted to make the microphone into an iceberg. That seems like

a tall order, though. Yeah, you know. It wasn't needed. I think it did pretty good. Honestly, not a shot of the park. No one can blame you. So, Russell's friend shows up, who's a bishop, and the bishop says, hey, look, I know you're going into this thing.

I got your back. Don't worry. And we don't know what that's all about. We go back to the family. They meet Father Tomas, who's a local priest there. We learn that the mom is a widow. Amy is the teenage daughter. She's a real handful.

And they're looking around the house. Amy is, like, testing her mom at every turn. She's like hanging out on a fucking railing, smoking a cigarette. So then Amy's up in a bathroom. She's like looking around. And we see behind her in the glass of a door, like a frosted glass door. There's like a devil face. And we're like, what?

It's the little brother, Henry. He's in a double mask. Oh, my gosh. And she's like, get out of my room or whatever. Did you think that Henry looks like Pete Davidson? No, I thought he looked like Mick Jagger. Okay, I can see that, too. Wait, the kid from the trailer? Yeah. Yes, I thought. He does look like Mick Jagger. Okay, I can see that too. Wait, the kid from the trailer?

Yeah. Yes, I thought- He does look like Mick Jagger. Pre-exorcism, he kind of reminded me of Rhett Miller of the old 97s. Okay. And then when he starts getting possessed, I think he becomes more and more Rolling Stones-y.

Yep. But that's just my take. Yep, yep. So we hear a knock, which is the classic shaven haircut, and this is Henry and Amy's little thing together. Amy's like, all right, I'll do it back. And she knocks on the door.

Later that night, Henry goes exploring. He's hearing like a strange noise. He doesn't know what it is, like a sort of thumping. He goes down to the basement. He finds a hole in the wall and he pulls out this loose brick. And we see that there's like a hidden chamber behind this wall. And there's like a sort of cracking sound. And he pulls back.

Then we find out from the mom who's talking to the to the priest that Henry has not spoken in a year. We don't know why. It's not. She's talking to her daughter, Amy, and she's like, can you try to get him to talk? Which is like a really weird thing to say if he hasn't been speaking for a year. For a whole year?

Just like, I don't know, can you help me at least try to get him to talk or something? Mom, he hasn't talked for a whole year. That's what you say if he hasn't talked for the past 45 minutes. That's not what you say for a whole year. You're trying to get him to say something. All right. Now, Russell is back on his Vespa.

And guess what? It's the next day, July 2nd, 1987. They tell us? Yes. So, Russell is at Vatican City. He is in trouble with the Council of whatever. We do not,

they do not really go into any detail about who these guys are, but they are mad at Russell Crowe. There is an asshole American cardinal who's like,

isn't it true that you did an exorcism without permission a month ago? And that's why the date is on June 1st, 1987. like, isn't it true that you did an exorcism without permission a month ago? And that's why the date is on June 1st, 1996. So he's like, you know,

Russell's bishop buddy is like, hey, look, don't be mad at him for doing these exorcisms. 98% of the exorcisms that Russell does end up with him recommending a psychiatrist and then the asshole is like, what about the other 2%?

And this is when there's a little bit of it in the trailer, but the full response from Russell is, ah, the other 2%. This is something that has confounded all of science and all of medicine for a very long time. I call it evil.

That's so good, Paul. So the panel says, guess what? You're fired. We don't need a Pope's exorcist anymore. You're done. Because they don't want exorcisms to happen? Exactly. We don't know why. They're just like, they don't

really explain why this is not good. He's just like, they don't really explain why this is not good. He's just doing too many. I mean, they don't even know. 160,000 at that. That's a lot. He's going to do so many more. He's going to be alive for 500 years.

So it's like, we don't think we need you anymore. And he's like, is this about, this made me laugh. Is this about the dead girl that I wrote about in Madre de Dios magazine? So there's a magazine called Mother of God magazine. Is that what the dead girl I wrote about? Is that what this is?

He just wrote like a story about her and he says, if you have a problem with me, you talk to my boss, who is the Pope. One cardinal says, the Pope is a infirm. And then Russell leaves, and guess what? Doesn't even turn around, gives him a cuckoo on his way out.

As they're yelling at him. Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo! So, back at the Abbey, the mom is hearing noises at night. She goes to investigate. There's workmen in the basement. There's a crack in the wall. They're like, what's going on here?

They don't know what this crack in the wall is. So the one guy lights up a full-on fucking road flare to look and it explodes. Like, they're right by a gas line or something. It fucking blows

them back. The foreman is like, this place is too dangerous. We're getting out of here. It's like, you lit up, but what are you doing? This is on you 100%. We had flashlights in 87. Absolutely. You could have used a flashlight.

Used a flashlight. It's so weird. This is clearly their incompetence. It is not. It is not the house's fault, even though it kind of is. Anyway, so the workers all leave. The family is there alone. And then we find that little Henry is writhing around on his bed.

And the mom and Amy come in and he sits up and he starts talking and they're like, oh my god he's talking, he's like, mommy, mommy and then he says you're all going to die, and he starts scratching his own face and they're fucking freaked out, they take him to the hospital hospital checks him out

and they say, we can't find anything wrong with him maybe he should see a psychiatrist or whatever and the mom is like,'t find anything wrong with him. Maybe he should see a psychiatrist or whatever. And the mom is like, no, something's wrong with him. And it's like, yeah, but. And a psychiatrist won't help. Exactly. At this point, psychiatrist sounds like a pretty good idea.

Yeah, no, we're not saying nothing's wrong with him. I think he should see a psychiatrist. So they're back home. Mom goes in to check on Henry. She's sitting on the bed. She's talking to him. And all of a sudden she realizes something is not right. And it is because her nine and a half year old son is full on getting to second base with her.

He's got his hand right on her breast. And she's like, hey, no, what are you doing? And then he lifts up his shirt and on his stomach is like. First he says, baby's hungry. Yeah, baby's hungry. Feed me, you fat cow. You didn't breastfeed me, mommy. How's this sitting with you,

hen? I love it. I love it. It's my future. So he lifts up his shirt and his stomach has like raised welts on it that spell out the word just hate. I was going to say this. Did I misremember that? It's so funny.

Hate. Bad stuff, you know? Hate. This isn't good, right? You don't like hate, do you? Opposite of love is hate. I like how the demon is like easing into it. Like, first we're going to start with this.

Hate. We're going to say baby's hungry and we're going to write hate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bring me the priest, he says. And so they call in Father Tomas. He shows up. He goes in there. He is thrown out of the room and crashed crashes into a wardrobe

you know and then henry says wrong fucking priest so then we're back in rome russell meets with his boy the pope and they're talking and uh the pope tells him hey you have to go to spain because there's something going on with this little boy that you have to check out. And they do a thing that I love in movies where it's two characters that speak the same language, and they start out speaking in Italian and subtitled,

then out of nowhere they just start talking English. With Italian accents. Yeah, I love that. I love that too. I really, I love being like, well, why are we doing both? Yeah. It happens all the time. I have two friends who both speak fluent French.

I have never been around them where all of a sudden they just started talking French to each other. Right? Right. It's not a thing you do. And in this case, they would be speaking Italian. Yeah. And Russell Crowe speaks Italian for like a lot of the movies So it's like we could have just stuck to

Italian in this scene There wasn't even that much more left to the scene But I guess maybe they thought It would have more impact in English I don't know but So you know the Pope says you gotta go check this out Which prompted Which prompted Janie To say what she was watching was How does the Pope says, you got to go check this out. And which prompted, which prompted Janie to say what she was watching was like, how does the Pope know about this?

Great question. Great question. What's his network? Who would go past the Pope's exorcist to the Pope to say, you should tell your exorcist about this kid in Spain? It doesn't make any sense. They just call up the Pope directly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the Pope's like,

why you bother me with this? You should talk to my exorcist. So then we see Russell again on his Vespa. Now he's in Spain. All the way to Spain? Okay, so, okay. I had a big question here. He Vespa'd a cross in the same time?

I did some Googling. I looked it up. It's something like 800 miles. It's like 2,000 kilometers. Maybe he rented a different Vespa. He had to have rented a different Vespa. It's the same Vespa. It's really a long time.

I truly looked up Vespa mile per gallon. I wanted to figure out if it is possible. They were concerned about the gas mileage. I don't know if you could ride a Vespa from Echo Park to Culver City. This particular kind of Vespa is like allowed on freeways. No, because I was really concerned about it. I was just like, this should be... What part of Italy?

Well, Vatican City, Rome. And what part of italy oh well and what part of spain castile okay so that's like madrid-ish yeah i did map it out i didn't write any of the details down but i was really thrown by this and i that's not that doesn't feel like this seems impossible and then i looked and i was ended up on reddit surprise surprise and they said that the Reddit Vespa distance it's like how long can you go on a Vespa were you on r slash Vespa distance my favorite sub yeah and it seems like you can go long distances on these types of Vespas but he would not in you it's not, he would have to have spent the night somewhere and like

it wouldn't be in a one day. It would be a day. Did they tell us what day it is? I feel like they do. They made a point to tell us it's the same day. That'd be so funny if they're like, Hey, just guess what? Same day. He's really fast. You know what? They probably did. And maybe I didn't write it down and I apologize.

But also, doesn't that seem like the most miserable thing to travel on for that distance? Regardless of if you can do it, you should not do it. Yes. Jurassic Park. What? There's no backrest. No, there's no backrest.

I think some of them can have a backrest, but still. There's nothing to lean on. Yeah, there's no backrest. It looks like he was wearing a helmet. No helmet. No, he's got his little fedora on. He'd have to be stopping and getting massages every couple hours. Every couple hours of massage.

And did you look up the miles per gallon? Because it does feel like he'd be stopping pretty frequently. It's pretty frequently, yeah. It can't be a big tank. It's not a big tank. It's, I think, a 2.7 gallon tank. That's really small. Someone did her research.

She did her research. That is so unreasonable. But look, he's the Pope's exorcist and we're not. You know what I mean? The guy knows what he's doing. Can you put a Vespa on a train? Oh, interesting. Okay.

I wonder if there's storage on a train. Because you could train there. That's probably what happened. There was probably a scene that was cut out. I just needed to see it. There's a scene of him loading the Vespa onto a train car and then loading it back.

That is my Vespa. Give us the director's cut. Precious Congo! Cuckoo! Alright, so Russell goes in and checks out Henry. Henry's talking to him in a demonic voice, like full on. He's not his own voice anymore.

It's the dad from the witch. It's the dad from the fish. And so he pulls out the St. Benedict medallion, waves it in front of his eyes. And this time we see like sort of when he looks over to the side behind his regular human pupils are some demon eyes. So that's what this this test is. That's like the first test. Oh, OK.

Yeah. Then, you know, the demon is like, I'm going to fucking murder you. I hate you. I can't wait. This is going to be so great. I hate you. Oh, you suck. I hate you. Oh, you suck. I got hate on my chest.

And then Russell is doing all his things like, oh, so you are the devil, huh? So what's my name? Prove it. Well, what's hell look like? All this shit. And he's like, oh, I forget what question. Russell's like, so what's your name? And the demon's like, I'm not dumb enough to get tricked into a pig, asshole.

You're not going to get me like that. They gossiped about it, the demons. Yes. Can you imagine that other demon must have been mortified. He really did fall. He was an idiot. He should have been mortified. He was so stupid.

He was an idiot. So then the demon says uh says russell's name and he says i know your nightmares gabriele and we flash back to world war ii we see what apparently is young uh gabriel um is on a patrol and then all of a sudden nazis show up They start shooting people. Russell pretends to be dead so that the Nazis will pass him by. Sure. And this is like a guilt for him.

Then, back in the present, little Henry throws up a red bird. Ew, yeah, ew. And Russell is like, oh boy, not good. And he goes out of the room, and he says to Father Tomas, hey, the demon, did you say my name to anybody? Because this demon knows things that it should not know. And Father Tomas is like, so it's real? He's like, you got thrown out of the room. Do you remember when that happened to you?

Now you believe it? Yeah. So we learned that Henry saw his father impaled in a car accident, which when we also get to see that, which I don't, I don't think we had to honestly. And Russell says to the family, the only way out of this is through faith. Okay. That's the, this is like legit. And you have to be very,

the tracks with the what we learned earlier. Exactly. Faith, prayer. This is like the premier exorcism hack, right? So, Amy is,

is in bed and she hears the signature da-da-da-da-da knock and she's like, oh, is Henry normal again? She goes to check on him. Then the knocking is coming from all over the place and it's

very freaky. She goes into the room and now Henry has full on devil eyes, right? Just like red eyes. The makeup in this is really good I thought. Yeah, he does look good. Oh, cool. I thought like the demonic sort of like as his possession progresses, I thought it was

really, it was really cool. so he says to amy uh i'm in hell she's freaked out the phone rings She's like I better go answer I think there's something Going on in here Amy She goes And she's like One sec

One sec So she goes And answers the phone She hears her dad's voice And the dad's like Amy honey Are you alright Amy

And then the demon voice goes You're all gonna die And so Over the phone? Yes. And she runs to the mom. She's like, I heard dad's voice. He said we were all going to die.

She's like, well, dad clearly didn't say that. But I take it back. The mom goes, what? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Like when moms are half paying attention. Like, wow. It's that low.

That must have been strange. So then they turn to Russell and they're like, what do we do? And he goes, coffee. And he says, I'm going to need my strength because the demons grow stronger in the night. Oh no. That's so funny to me, like shit that just lines up with things that we're scared of, but that somehow there's a science to it for the demons are like, oh, thank God the sun has gone down. Now we can really do this.

So Russell and Father Tomas go in and they start the exorcism. Russell's like, look, whatever this thing says, you just stay focused. You got your, you know, the Hail Mary is your favorite prayer. Say that over and over and over again. Do not stop saying it. Whatever this thing says, don't listen to it. Don't let it get to you. So the demon shows Russell, the girl that he let die.

We still don't know her full story yet, but this is the one he wrote about in Madre de Dio magazine. And then the demon shows Tomas, this young girl, that he's apparently been fucking, right? And Tomas is like, what the fuck? And he goes to choke the demon and then they gotta

get out of there. He's like, come on, we gotta get out of here. Wait, who's been fucking the girl? Tomas? Tomas has been fucking this young woman in his parish. Does he call her a panty sniffer? He calls Tomas a panty sniffer. Because you're not allowed, right? Yeah. You're not allowed, yep.

You're not allowed, yeah. It's frowned on. You're not allowed to do it. So this is a big reveal. They go out and they regroup and they're talking about it and Russell's like, he does not say, I told you so, which is great.

But he's like, you got to stay focused, you know. And then he's like, he said you took the bait. What does that mean? I think this demon has a bigger plan than just this little boy. So, oh, my God, my computer just changed to night mode. My document went black. Oh, my God. It was kind changed to night mode. My document went black. Oh my God, spooky. It was kind of scary.

I'm not going to lie. It alarmed me. So then Russell tells Tomas, you should pray in Latin because prayer is stronger in Latin. This is just science. It's religious science. It's science. This is just science. It's religious science. So Thomas creeps back in later on to check on Henry, and he gets right up to the bed.

And then Henry wakes up and grabs Tomas and fully Mike Tysons him, bites off a chunk of his ear. Oh, my God. And Tomas runs out of there. And then all kinds of crazy shit starts happening, right? The mom is screaming. She's being sucked into the bed, Nightmare on Elm Street style. Uh-oh. Russell is looking around on the property. He checks out this well that is lined with skulls.

He lights it up. He sees these skulls, and he drops the lighter in. People are very fast and loose with Zippos in movies, I got to say. Yeah, yeah. Like, I used to smoke and I had a Zippo and that was like a reusable lighter. Yeah, you don't just throw it in. You're not just tossing it around. Yeah, it's like, meh, I'll get another one.

So a huge ball of flame shoots up. And then back to the mom. She's like fully like folded. She's like in this crease in the bed which reminded me of a time when i visited my sister when she lived in redondo beach and uh i stayed on an air mattress that slowly deflated over the course of the evening so when i woke up i was like in a ravine and then there was like plastic plastic all around me that's the worst feeling so bad can you wake up Your back is on the hard floor

What happened to me And you can't get out because Every time you try you're trapped And also my sister opened the door and laughed At me which did not help So Russell shows Tomas the skull well And he says look it's the

Do you see that it's the seal of the Spanish Inquisition They go to the basement to investigate i'm trying to at some point they save the mom from the bed but i guess i didn't write that down the mom is in the bed what do they just pull her up yeah genuinely yes that's what they do they just pull her out and amy at the same time is being flung around the room by a force of the demon and screaming and they run in and, and yeah, save, um, both of them. And then they get them all to safely rest in the chapel. We're going to stay in the chapel.

Seems like the most sacred place. Stay in here. Yeah. So why did they live in an Abbey? Oh, right. Because I don't remember uh the mom says that the father owned it's been in the family for years and they don't have a job now and this is their only source of income it's very weird it's not it's not explained very well

the abbey is their only source of abbey yeah exactly like what there seems like you're spending money on it because it's being it's under construction so what's funny what are they supposed to do they don't have any money the best thing they can do is go to another country and fix up this thing that's been left to crumble for like a hundred

years and make it a business I guess what's the money making opportunity behind an abbey you fill it with nuns and like a hundred years and make it a business, I guess. What's the money making opportunity behind an Abbey? You fill it with nuns. And I was going to say that they like, they specifically say they're like re redoing the Abbey. They're like, not like we're going to make it an Airbnb. They're like, we're going to restore the Abbey.

And it's like, it's a free place to live. I don't understand. So, okay. Russell and Tomas go to the basement to investigate, and they knock through a wall, and they find these catacombs. And then they're going through all these different rooms, and they find skeletons that turn out to be the skeletons of former exorcists that worked for the Pope, right? And they find they take different— The Pope might have known this, did he not? We'll get to that. Is that the twist? Okay.

I'll tell you right now. It's never explained why the Pope does not mention this. So they take different items from some of the skeletons. Like this is very powerful. We should hold on to this. And so then back in the abbey in the chapel, mom wakes up and Amy is not around. So she goes looking for and she's got a syringe that has like a sedative in it. Meanwhile, the Vatican, the pope collapse.

He wants to send it. He's lying in a hospital bed. And Russell's bishop friend is there and also the asshole cardinal. And the Pope is like, I need to send a message to, to, to. And they're like, who, who? And they're like, to Amorta.

And then the asshole is like, what trouble has he gotten us into this time? And then the Pope projectile vom what trouble has he gotten us into this time? And then the Pope projectile vomits blood right in his face. Oh, no. Is the Pope okay? Oh, no. I don't think so.

Pope's been better. Let's just say that. The Pope has been better. So we're back in the catacombs. The priests are piecing together the history of this demon. They still don't know who the demon is, but they're like finding all this. They find like a diary in there. They find all this information.

And it turns out that the demon is very powerful. And he had possessed the exorcist who started the Spanish Inquisition. And the church covered it up. So this is interesting. Okay. Yeah. Wait. Yeah. Let's get into it. This movie is saying the Spanish Inquisition

was not the church's fault. But also the church didn't want people to know it wasn't their fault and that this demon had done this I guess because it was embarrassing. So they're just like, we'll let people believe that we tortured people to convert to Christianity. That's better than telling them that there's a demon in there. But we didn't.

But we didn't. That's just, we'll have to bear that shame, even though we know the truth. True martyrs. Interesting. Interesting. True martyrs, Emily. True martyrs. Interesting. True martyrs. True martyrs. Wow. I think we all

deserve to have a little think about the Catholic Church. I think we need to sit down. What would you do? Yeah. And this is, by the way, they're making this out like, this is the worst thing the church has ever covered up. What else was demons, guys?

So, back at the Abbey, the mom goes into Henry's room and she finds Amy and Henry sitting on the bed together and they're holding hands and they're laughing. And she starts talking to them and then Amy and Henry are speaking

simultaneously and moving simultaneously. Like they're at the same time saying the exact same thing. It's like, look, this is good stuff. It's freaky, right? So the mom is like trying to play it cool. She's like, Amy, why don't you come over here? And Amy and Henry are still talking in tandem. Mom goes to grab Amy and the demon hurls

her backward and starts like force choking her. Like Darth Vader style choking her. then he Amy has been like on the floor gets up. The demon is like causing her to twist her body and her neck around

and it's very creepy looking. Like in The Exorcist. Like in the, there's a few echoes of a few things in this movie. So meanwhile, the priests have discovered the name of the demon. Great. Which is good. Not Pazuzu. Yeah, so I believe based on other things I've heard.

You guys got to know the name. Got to know the name. You got to heard. You guys got to know the name. It's very important to know. You got to know the name. Got to know the name. And this is, it's bad news because it's Asmodeus, the king of hell. The king of hell. The king of hell. And so what is Satan?

That's a good question. That's a good question. I think there's maybe like more to evil than just hell. Maybe Satan's overseeing all of it. And he's like, you... Oh, like multiple kingdoms. Yeah. And so he's like, you keep an eye on hell and I'll take care of other stuff.

And also, obviously, also keep an eye on hell. Also hell. Also hell. I'm not going to not. I'll be busy tempting kids to lie to their parents. So you deal with this. Yeah. He's like the Jeff Bezos of hell.

Exactly. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. It's very much his company, but he's not like. Bezos hands off. Right. Right.

No, he's so high up. He's not in the day to day. Exactly. Yeah. So they say his name out loud and then like windows start shattering. This distracts the demon long enough that Amy is able to grab the syringe and plunge it into Henry's neck and knock him out. OK. So the priests realize, oh, this is what Asmodeus wants to do.

He wants to possess Russell Crowe and he wants to bring down the church from the inside because the church right now is thriving. It's the late 80s and everyone loves the church. They hate Sinead O'Connor. So Russell confesses to Tomas. He says, I have to tell you some stuff that I've talked about in confession before, but it haunts me. He tells the story of his cowardice in the war. And then he tells finally the story that he wrote about in Madre de Dios magazine, the story of Rosaria. So this is a girl that he was called upon to exercise.

And then he's like, I don't think she's possessed. I think she's just like mentally ill. Like we see her in this flashback. She eats a whole cardinal, like a bird. And then, so he's like, this is not, this is not exercise. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. We got to differentiate.

They're having some fun, I think. The one religious named bird that they can think of. So she, because he passes on her case she eventually kills herself and then we find out that she was abused by a priest um and he's like all there's all these abuses of the church and they hushed it up and it's like yeah so far it seems to be a lot of you know very heteronormative abuse of men and women. Yeah. And no mention of anything else. There's a funny part where, where Russell Crowe is like,

he says, the, the, if people are having mental illness, that's not my job. Like when he refers to somebody else, he's like, yeah,

it's not my job. That's like that, that tick tock thing that where it's like, if you're having mental illness, um, just fix that. Yeah. That's not my job. It's kind of not my religion. Dad doesn't touch on that.

So they go into Henry's room to get shit done. Right. And Henry is now fully demoned out. It's really good makeup. He's got like just big red eyes and like sunken cheeks. His nose is all like twisty and looks like broken. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really good. So

the demon starts, they start their, you know, holding up the cross and praying in Latin. The demon is now showing them their sins. He shows Russell Rosaria and there's like cardinals flying all around the room he shows tomas uh adela i think was her name the girl that he was sleeping with um she's going all of a sudden fuck me tomas fuck me tomas so suddenly henry starts talking in his own voice

And mom's like Henry Henry She goes and she goes to him And then Like weird stuff is happening in his body And he like there's we see things Moving under his skin and shit like that You'll like this though Russell Crowe is encouraging He says a mother's love is the closest

Thing we have to God's love. So keep talking to him. So true. A mother's love never fails. I say that to myself every morning. It's never weird and it's never bad. Every morning I say it to May. It's never weird and it's never bad.

If there's one thing a mother's love never is, it's weird. It's never been weird. It never fails except for this time where she's talking to him. And then again, he lifts up his shirt. And this time words are forming like how they paint things on the road to let you know that there's like a speed bump ahead yeah you see the bottom first so you see the bottom first and it says

here not is God God is not here it's like these words on his torso are like cutting themselves into his flesh now the demon is possessing both Henry and Amy he's incredibly strong. And Russ, and he says to Russell, like, surrender yourself to me.

And Amy then attacks the mom. Um, she chases her all around. She does like a little spider crawl thing. She like it. And it looked pretty good. I feel like this actress must have some like dance experience or something. Cause she gets down on the ground and is like crawling around and it didn't look like CGI to me,

but it's kind of funny because at the beginning it just seems like she's kind of showing off kind of her moves and stuff. She's not, she doesn't attack at first. She's just like, I'm going to crawl around for a little bit. It's so funny that a demon would be like, I'm going to scare you a little bit first

and then I'm going to attack you. So she starts attacking the mom. She like fucking breaks a sink with her mom's head. That seems like it would at least knock her out. That seems like it would at least knock her out. Yeah, that would kill you. That would knock her out. If the sink breaks off the wall because of your head.

You're dead. I think you're dead. Yeah. I think you might be dead. So she gets her in the tub and she's attacking her and she's like, don't do this. Don't do this. And Tomas is being strangled in the air by his own priest stole. Like it wraps around his neck and then is hanging him up in the air.

Russell is like pinned to a wall. He's trying to like wrestle his crucifix Forward and finally Russell gives in and he says take me And the demon is thrilled He enters Russell And Russell contains the demon Long enough where he's like Okay everybody

Get out of here Like he's really like trying to Keep it together Also the Pope in this moment shoots up in his hospital bed and just goes, no. Not another exorcist. Not another one. So the demons in the demons now as Modius is now inside Russell. he's like, I need my little piggy to take me to the Vatican. Oh my God, Paul, that was so good.

He calls him a little piggy. That sounded exactly. It's rude. That's really rude. Yeah. I will say this. Sometimes the demon is pretty funny. Yeah.

Like he gets off some good ones, right? Okay. For someone who hates jokes, he's pretty funny. Oh, sure. Hates them. He's pretty funny. Oh, sure. Hates them. He's pretty good at them. So the family leaves, and then Russell is still resisting Asmodeus. And he says, my favorite line in the movie, I need my pig, Gabe.

Oh, yes. Just like so reasonable. Like, come on. You got to stop. You got to stop resisting me. I need this. So Russell tries to hang himself. Like he grabs a rope, makes a professional looking noose and tries to kill himself.

And then as Modius is too strong, he's like, ah, you're not going to do that. And so now he's fully taken over and the demon is propelling him forward. There's this shot of Russell jogging through these cardinals. They're flying all around and he's on his way to the catacombs. He gets to the catacombs. They get to, you know, the room of the last Pope's exorcist or whatever. And Russell's somehow he has another Zippo or maybe this one fell. This is the same one that fell when he threw it in the well.

He found it. He's like, oh, good. So he lights the Zippo and I guess he's going to try to light himself on fire or something. Whoa. And then he sees a vision of the Virgin Mary who rises from this pool, this round, perfectly round pool that's in the middle of the cave. And he's like, oh, great. She's here! Finally! This is a great sign.

You have the best timing! I've been waiting. She, of course, turns into Rosario, horrible, like, harpy demon version. And Tomas finally makes his way into the catacombs. He finds Russell sitting on this chair where one of the exorcist skeletons was.

And he's trying to reach him like through prayer. He's like, I know you're in there. And he starts praying and Russell kind of, like the spirit of Russell kind of peeks out every now and again is like starting to pray along and he's encouraging Tomas, like keep going, keep going. Tomas starts praying in Latin. Stronger.

He's trying to make Russell pray. Stronger. Trying to make Russell pray along. Rosario appears as like a weird, like crawling, you know, sort of bird thing on the ground. Then there's an Iron Maiden in the room. Is that what those are called? Iron Maidens?

Yeah, Iron Maidens. I just learned this recently too. I think in the Saw episode then Adela pops up out of that. Is that what those are called? Iron maidens? Yeah, iron maidens. I just learned this recently too. I think in the Saw episode that Joel and I did maybe that that is an iron maiden. It's like the body thing. Whoa. Wait, what is an iron maiden? Sorry. What's an iron maiden? It's like the thing that looks like a woman. It's like a metal case.

It's got sarcophagus looking things. A bunch of spikes. So when you get closed in it spikes you like a torture device. Oh, scary. I mean, honestly, very descriptive name. Probably a death device, I think. Yeah, it's a death device. A death device.

Iron Maiden is like, yeah, that's what that is. Badass name for a band. It's, right? They knew what they were doing. Good work, guys. So then Adela, covered with blood uh starts attacking tomas and um oh by the way i didn't even bother writing it down because it said so much your sins will what is it your sins will find you out or something i don't remember it is said

so many times in the movie like take you down down type of thing? It's like a scene of them fighting their demons. Like Tomas fighting Adela and... Your sins will find you out. So then Russell's over there fighting with Rosario and he goes, Tomas, the metal! And so Tomas has this metal

that he took from one of the skeletons and he presses it to Adela's head. Starts to hiss and everything she like bubbled up like a pizza and then she just explodes and tomas is covered with blood right um so then uh he's now free to help Russell and what does he do? He tosses the crucifix to Russell Russell's now able to cast Rosario

into that pool and then together they're praying in tandem you know they're doing some real power of Christ compels you shit they are like sending Asmodeus back to hell. The effect of the demon like in this pit

is like is pretty good. How would you describe it? It's like it's like roiling like like lava. It looks like yeah kind of lava-y like sucking her in and and maybe hardening so that she's gonna get that or demon is gonna get locked in there.

But really fun effect. And then they fucking did it. They cast them back into hell. Oh, great. They're exhausted. They're like leaning against the throne. It made me laugh that in this wide shot of them like, you know, exhausted and they're kind of quiet for a second. There's the skeleton that used to be on the chair.

It's just like hanging out over there by the side. He got kicked out of the chair. Just moved it over. But he looks like he's looking at them like. So they're like, hey, we did it. They pass a flask back and forth and and it's done. So then they go visit the pope. The pope is like, great job, although sometimes you fly too close to the sun. Well, there's just one more shot of him doing a cuckoo. Cuckoo. He gets to the demon. Oh, yes.

What does he do? The cuckoo again. He gets back to Rome and he's walking down a little alleyway and see some nuns and just he's back to his cuckoo old self and we just. Oh, his little cuckoo self. He got one more cuckoo in there. Wow. Then the Pope is like, hey, you really did it.

But, you know, you take too many chances, whatever. And they're like, hey, thanks. So then they go. Oh, so the Pope tells Russell, hey, that asshole cardinal that hated you so much because he saw. I forget that he saw a vision of a crucifix that was bleeding and this just broke his brain. Like he just clutches his head and screams and that was it for that guy. And so now he's taking a sabbatical to Guam.

He can't deal with it because I guess he thought all this shit was fake and then it turns out it was real and he couldn't, it was too much for him. So we're vindicated with the asshole. Oh my God. We're vindicated with the asshole. This film God. We're vindicated with the asshole. This film has everything. God. Exactly.

Not only that, but Russell's Bishop buddy is now in charge, has the job that the asshole Cardinal had and he believes all this stuff. So he's like, not only are you fine, but we got more work for you. He takes them down to the Vatican basement or whatever, where it's like, here's all our treasures. work for you. He takes them down to the Vatican basement or whatever, where it's like, here's all our treasures. Here's all the, here's every demonstration of Christian thought or whatever. And then also we learned a lot from this diary that you found. We found all the places on earth where God is not welcome or something. And then he goes, there's where we're close to finding all 199 places on Earth.

Because there is like 200 fallen angels. And Osmodeus is one of the fallen angels. And there's 199 more. They all found their own little patch of land. Sure, sure. They spread out. Now, this is such a shift in this movie. It's such a huge shift in this movie, which up till now, I will say, I really enjoyed.

Like, I had very low expectations going in, but I thought it was a lot of fun. I mean, it cribs from a lot of things here and there. But overall, I think it maintains pretty decent integrity. And everybody is good in it. They're all going for it. At this point now, it just straight up becomes a fucking Marvel movie where the Bishop is like, so what do you say?

You're going to take on the job. And Russell Crowe's like, I don't know. It's too much for one priest. And then Tomas is like, how about two priests? They're like, yeah,

we're going to do it. And so Tomas says, let's go to work. And then Russell says, let's go to hell. Oh my God. And then we, of course it ends with Russell striding out and it,

you know, starts, it slows down and the screen on the screen, it comes up letting us know that father Gabriel died in 2016, which is a weird thing to put on the screen after you've clearly set it up to be a franchise where it's like, oh, this guy's dead. Well, then what's going on?

Do you want there to be more? I was very thrown by this. As if it was like a biopic. Yeah, exactly. Where are they now? Well, he's dead. Well, he's dead. Well, he's dead. They're trying to blur the line between fiction and nonfiction too much.

Yeah. It's almost like they want to make you feel guilty. Like, so wouldn't you like to see more of these? Since he's dead and all. A hundred and ninety-nine more, to be exact. Maybe if he had lived longer, we wouldn't have seen Trump Make the presidency Right? Yeah

Yeah yeah yeah Wow That's crazy And that's the Pope's exorcist And that's the Pope's exorcist So yeah I mean They seem to be setting it up To make more movies

And I have great news They are working on a sequel It has been greenlit And With Russell Crowe Russell Crowe will be back Yes They are working on a sequel. It has been greenlit. With Russell Crowe? Russell Crowe will be back, yes. I hope they still say at the end of every movie, I hope they say he died in 2016. He died in 2016.

And just constant updates of what day it is. Every day. One day closer to his actual death. They just want you to know exactly it should start it start to be a countdown yeah only 30 days left till father gabriel amort dies oh my god a perfect film a perfect film a perfect film no notes flawless yeah honestly i really enjoyed it and part of me wants to watch it i feel like i could watch it i feel like it's very scary there wasn't what do you think paul i felt like not too scared honestly there's there's scary looking stuff but

there's no there's not a ton of like jump scares even. You know what I mean? Yeah. There weren't many jump scares. Yeah. And there's not a feeling of, there's not like a lot of dread in it, which for me, a lot of times is the thing I hate the most, you know? Yeah. But I honestly think it's pretty watchable, even if you're not a horror person.

I do too. And it's on Netflix. So easy to watch. So easy. So easy. Still not checking out. I do too. And it's on Netflix. So easy to watch. So easy. So easy. Still not checking out. People have time. You got to see the cuckoo for yourself.

Cuckoo. Cuckoo. A cuckoo. I want to start doing that. Cuckoo. I like confuse everyone around me. It's fun to have like a true catchphrase, you know? Yeah.

You don't often see it. It's like your thing. And you can use it for anything it's either like hi or like fuck off it's great hey it is very versatile phrase it's really good oh my god why isn't russell crowe in more things why he was knocking on a lot of things i think he's in a lot of stuff i think he's in a lot of things. I think he's in a lot of stuff. I think he's in a lot of stuff. I was looking at this little IMDb page and he's been, he has been in a lot.

Wait, what other things are, has he been in recently? Um, the greatest beer run ever. For one. What? I've never heard of that.

What? The last thing heard of that What? The last thing I saw him in was Thor Love and Thunder That was 2022 That's right, he was in that Yeah, yeah, yeah He was fun in that I thought he seemed to be having a good time He was having a good time And

And I, you know, you gotta love that He's like from New Zealand And Taika Waititi directed that. So just another New Zealand guy. Oh, I thought he was from Australia. Okay, he's from New Zealand, grew up in Australia. Yes, he was born in New Zealand,

spent most of his childhood in Australia, moved back to New Zealand. And that's that. Is he a reverse Sam Neill? Because I think Sam Neill was born in Australia and then went to New Zealand. Yes. I think. He's a reverse Sam Neill.

Yep. Yeah. There always has to be the exact same number of people in each. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. So if one goes one way, the other guys go the other way. Yes. Each country has 100 people in it.

100. And they just. 100 even. And they like it that way. They like to swap too. Oh, yeah. Right. Oh boy.

Wow. Wow. We did it. We did it gang. Two years running. It's so good. It's so good. Thank you so much.

Thank you. What an incredible recap. Thank you for having me. I feel like I truly, with my third appearance, I feel like I truly have earned the title Horrorspondent. Oh, you have. Thank you so much. Yep.

Yeah. Nobody can take that away from you. That's. Absolutely not. Don't let anybody take that away from you. Just like exorcisms. It's science. It's science.

Latin is stronger than English prayer. Latin is stronger than English prayer. Latin is stronger than English. Even though they are Italian. And Italian doesn't seem like it ever came into question as an option. English or Latin. Yeah. Yeah. They did spoke some Spanish prayers.

They did a little Italian prayers, but it was definitely made clear that Latin was the strongest. Yeah. Good to know. Good to know. There's a lot to think about. There's a lot to dwell on. There's so much to think about. We all got to have a little think about how the Spanish inquisition.

And the church is not their fault. It wasn't the church's fault. It's not what you thought. it's not what you thought it's not what you thought and and you know what they're just trying to prime us to tell us it's not their fault it's about other controversies that have happened i was gonna say it feels weird to like start and stop working their way up yeah we're gonna start with a spanish inquisition all the sequels are just like slowly being like, we didn't actually do anything bad. Oh my God.

That's what all the sequels are for. Exactly. Yeah. Just absolving one. Best of luck to you. Catholic church. Eventually they just remake spotlight, but it's,

it turns out it's demons. There's CGI and Rachel McAdams and her khakis to be like, it's demons. It's demons. What if they just took spotlight and they just inserted Russell Crowe in there saying to everybody, it's demons. And then nobody acknowledges him. He's like, I don't know why they won't listen to me.

That would be great. That would win Oscars again. It already won Oscars, and then it would do it again. Yeah. It'll do it again. Groundbreaking. Paul, do you have anything you want to plug for our listeners or anything going on? Well, I would like to tell people that I'm going to be doing my variety show,

Varietopia, in Charleston, South Carolina for the first time, which I'm very excited about. That will be Friday, November 17th. Two shows, I believe they're seven and nine. So come on out. It's going to be a lot of fun. It's music and comedy, surprise guests. It's a really fun time. That's

very fun. Amazing. Thank you. Thank you. Wow. Thank you. That's really exciting. Well, yeah, thank you guys. Happy you. Wow. Thank you. That's really exciting. Um, well, yeah. Thank you guys. Happy Halloween,

everybody. Happy Halloween. Oh my gosh. And we got to do it. Here it is. I know it's, it's really, it's really happening.

I, I'm can't believe I did this whole episode looking like this. I can't believe that I got used to it. I got really used to it. I really didn't think I was going to. At the beginning, I was like, this is going to be impossible. I got used to it, too.

It's crazy how humans can adapt to anything in their environment. It's true. Sammy, I'm excited for you to be able to wash all that face paint off of your face though when you move your face you can feel it like crunch and wrinkle yeah yep it looks the dedication. So good, though. Dedication.

Yeah. Just got to be my favorite vessel, you know. Well, obviously, we have to sign out with an Italian accent. Obviously.

Cuckoo. Cuckoo. That's a second. How do I get into this accent? That'll be my go-to phrase I'm feeling it

My Italian phrase is I go In John Wick 3 This dog, I do so love it That's my I do so love it Frank O'Nara who played the Pope And this is in John Wick.

That's why you're familiar to me. Yes. Great. So maybe it's even him saying that. Thank you, John Wick. So from all of us here at Too Scary to Do Watch. Goodbye. Goodbye.

Goodbye. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo.

Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo.

Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo.

Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo.

Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo.

Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo.

Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo.

Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo.

Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. You can follow us on social media at TSDW Podcast on Instagram and Twitter. And if one episode a week just is not enough for you, head on over to patreon.com slash

TSDW Podcast to become a patron and receive all sorts of extra goodies from us, including bonus episodes, trailer reactions, and more. And no matter what, we will see you right here next week for another episode. We love you so much. Bye. That was a HeadGum Podcast.