Too Scary; Didn't Watch - THE SADNESS

Episode Date: November 9, 2022

Well, it's finally happened - we found a movie Sammy hates even more than Green Inferno!! THE SADNESS is wall-to-wall lecherous zombies and disgusting, exhausting violence and WE HATED IT!! TW: Sexual violence, violence against children TRAILER Recap starts @ 25:24 Follow the show: @TSDWpodcast on Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram. Check out our Patreon for bonus episodes and additional content! Rate Too Scary; Didn’t Watch 5 Stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Emily, Henley, and Sammy. Advertise on Too Scary; Didn't Watch via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is Emily, Henley, and Sammy, and you're listening to Too Scary, Didn't Watch. Hi everyone, welcome to Too Scary, Didn't Watch, the horror movie recap podcast for those too scared to watch for themselves. I'm Emily and I am too scared to watch scary movies. I'm Henley and I'm also too scared to watch scary movies. I'm Sammy and I love watching scary movies and so I watch them so that you don't have to. And never have I regretted that more than today. Oh no!

I hated this movie. No. You did? That never happens. I think it's the, I hated it more than Green Inferno. I think it's the worst movie I've ever seen in my life. I was furious afterwards. And I thought about watching a whole new movie to talk to you guys about but then I thought

people need to know how much I hate this movie oh my god no no no no so buckle up but before we get into that oh no this is horrible news did anything scary happen to us this week besides what's about to happen to us oh god no oh no i think the only thing i just i want to tell you guys about i haven't talked about this yet right how i'm re-watching the vampire diaries well you have talked to us a lot about how we must watch the vampire diaries but i don't know i was just gonna say is that a joke that's like i feel like you talk about it all the time. Like once a day minimum you mention Vampire Diaries.

No, but not on the podcast. It's not public knowledge. I think you have brought it up on the podcast before. I have? You bring it up once a day. I have? Have I used it as a check-in actually? I don't know. No, and I'm dying to hear about it.

So even if you have, let's hear it. I almost watched it the other day, Henley, which is going to make you furious because then I didn't. But like, you know, it's the same. You're working. You're, you know. It's getting closer to reality for Emily and I. Wearing is down is the words I was trying to find.

We're circling, pressing the play button on that show. The Vampire Diaries is such a perfect show in so many ways. I have already seen it. And I recently was thinking about what I should watch. And I was like, you know what? I'm just going to see how I feel to rewatch this show that I really enjoyed the first time. I don't usually rewatch things in this way, but I was like, I'll just put it on if I'm bored, you know, I'll turn it off. You guys, blink of an eye, four episodes in, it happens, gotten up from the couch. Like I'm doing it.

I'm doing it hard. And it's like, shows everything. The show is like a mix of like gilmore girls meets like uh true blood i can't even say true blood that's not even really accurate because it's so tame um yeah sure riverdale it's like there's okay i don't like the tone with which you said that no that was so dismissive so really points against um Riverdale so Vampire Diaries also gets as crazy as Riverdale does but not as insane um and I don't

know what to say about it except for the fact that all of the all of the actors are like so pristine looking and kind of either like it they're like too perfect looking so either you're gonna be into're like too perfect looking. So either you're going to be into it. Is it Nina Dobrev, right? Yeah. Is that how you say her last name? I don't even know. I've never said it out loud.

I just freaking went for it. That sounds right. Nina Dobrev. This other person named Candace King, who has a pretty funny Instagram presence now. Ian Somerholder. Oh, okay. This is what his deal is. Yeah. People love him leslie yeah they

now he looks like he was made for the vampire diaries he doesn't do it for me but perhaps if i watched the vampire every time every time i'm like i hear that name and i'm like oh right who's this guy and i look him up i'm like this guy see he's also in the rules of attraction right i think maybe that's what i like him from i don't know but he's a whole vibe he's a definitely a vibe and him and paul wesley who's the other vampire other main vampire are still like best friends and now they own like a bourbon company together and that's what famous men do together they open alcohol brands with their friends and they just post these like incredibly awkward instagram videos of themselves on their and like their oceanside malibu mansion it's you know the vampire diaries has taught me a lot it's taught me about friendship

um that's the main thing it's taught me about how to be a better friend it's really inspired me about what to do in life or death situations so we we have a lot to thank for to Vampire Diaries. It's I it's just such a deep comfort to me. And I don't even know like how I got here. But I just need you guys to know that it's still the best show I've ever seen. And if you guys want to rewatch it with me, I'll watch it again with you. Yeah. Where are you in it right now? I'm only just finishing the first season. So I really don't remember

anything that happens in the later seasons. When did it come out? There's so many episodes. It's like 2009, I think. Okay. Yep. 2010. So all of the early 2010s fashion, you know, the like the like low rise boot cut jeans, the tight cardigans. It's it's a vibe. You guys, someone else, someone else saved me from myself because I don't even know. I'm I'm going to watch this show. Eventually, I promise you that. Eventually, I promise you that I will watch it as well. I just had a beautiful fantasy of us as like the Golden Girls retired, living together, binge watching Vampire Diaries.

For the 45th time. I've never been happier in my life. Well, another thing that I hope we all do together until the day we die is go to the Korean spa. I went to the Korean spa for the very first time. Can you believe that? And I guess that's what's scary is that it was the first time I'd ever been. And what's also scary is... Which one did you go to?

Maybe my favorite thing on earth now. We went to We Spa. Okay, nice. Which for those who are familiar with the Korean spas of Los Angeles, it's like the not fancy one. And I absolutely loved it And I absolutely loved it. I absolutely loved it. I've never.

Wow. I have a lot of thoughts about it. It's great. It's so great. I was talking to Joel about it because I think like the male association with being naked around a bunch of other men is really different. It's really different. And a lot of people aren't comfortable being naked around a lot of people. I definitely did not used to be.

But there's something about being there. Where it's just like you immediately are just like. Well right yeah we're all naked. And it's like you just like don't even think about it. So that's also it's great and very freeing. Or some people clothed. No you're not allowed to be. You're not allowed.

Okay okay that's important. There's like a sauna floor. Yeah the sauna floor. They are separated by sex. Which is the thing I'm a little bit curious about the dynamics of that in terms of inclusivity. But putting that aside for the moment, because that's not something that my brain can deal with in this moment. It was really great. And there were just all ages of women, all different kinds of bodies. It's really freeing to just be like, oh, right.

We all just have like parts assembled together in a way. And like, who cares? And the thing that made me really happy is there were a couple of children there. And I was like, man, imagine if you were raised to having seen all different kinds of bodies. And like like be comfortable with your own and not feel like it's weird. I just can't even fathom that. I know. I was so amazed. I think it's also like more common in other countries where there's nude beaches and it's more normalized.

I think it's like very American to be like so Sex focused And also so repressive Yeah it's really wild It's really confusing It's really confusing and like I think that was my biggest takeaway from being there Is just like oh Like I've

Simultaneously I have never felt more Naked in my entire life like never In my entire life I felt more naked But also never have I felt more like my body is just the thing that like holds your organs together. Yeah. Like it was just like so because I want to talk about I got Sammy being the lovely friend that she has got me a little gift certificate. And so I booked a treatment.

I got a massage with a scrub. Have you ever this henley yeah oh my god it was i'm so glad i did it it was like the funniest experience of my life because it was it was like it was i feel like so many spas you go to like a like western and american spas it's like peaceful music everybody talks in like a whisper and come on in here have your privacy i'll be right back and this one is like get on the table like we're pulling you down yes you are butt ass naked like truly just like naked everyone around you is naked literally everyone they walk you down in front of everyone who's also getting all their treatments done onto a plastic

massage table. You lie face down in it. They throw buckets of water onto you like a beached whale. And they're just like... And just like, okay, turn over. And splashing water on you. Okay, sit up, sit up. And she was like, it's just like, are like just roughed around because the point is it

feels like so much healthier and that it feels like it comes from a culture where it's just like, right, you just like take care of your body. And every now it's not like spa. It's not treating yourself. It's like, yeah, get a scrub, get cleaned off, like be you know what I mean? And just like I I truly it was making me laugh so hard. Like every massage I've ever gotten where it's like so discreet and they like, you know, you're naked.

And so they're, they have you turn around and they like hold the sheet up to block your little body. And then when they pull your leg out, they like wrap your leg in the sheet. And this, she was just like grabbing me turning me over throwing water on me scrubbing my body like it was not at all relaxing but in a way that felt like so freeing i just i like i was trying the whole time to be like like embed every moment of this into your brain like never forget what the full 90 minutes of this experience

was it was 90 minutes it was 90 minutes it was absolutely incredible i'm obsessed with it i had the time of my life but i just want to say like if people have thoughts about korean spas like experiences that i should have or whatever like just just let me know also if you if you identify as male and you go to the korean spa i'm also curious i want to know what that i'm like i want to know what that floor is like it seemed like there were a lot of men there and i think it's probably somewhat similar that it's like weird at first yeah and then you just kind of get used to it or maybe it's less weird maybe men are like more not the men i know never nudes they're not yeah i just think i don't yeah i don't know i don't know but i'm curious i'm curious and that's all i want to

do now okay sammy did anything scary happen to you this week i had the week off of work this week which was really really lovely the opposite of scary so great so wonderful and i um am kind of like anti-work in general right part of the subreddit anti-work shout out but there's something so nice about working full-time and then getting time off. It feels way different from my regular time off as a freelancer. Right. Yes. Where I feel like guilty, like I should be doing something. But when you have very designated and limited time off, it just feels so special and exciting. And I booked myself a trip to Idlewild and was there for a night and it was really, really lovely. And I'm just curious if you guys do this where I've noticed every time I travel anywhere or take any little weekend trip or anything, it's like mostly very nice and great.

But then at least 5% of the time I'll be spiraling about the version of my life that could be lived in this place and that i'm not living in like i'll like i immediately looked up real estate in idle wild like should i move here what would my life be like here i did that in toronto as well like it's just anywhere i go i get a little bit of panic of like what if what if my life here would be better than my life where i am now which is probably something i should talk about in therapy i'm sure there's deeper reasons as to why this happening but i'm just curious if you guys ever feel that way i do that i absolutely do that i look up real estate wherever i'm going i like think about what it would be like to live there

but i would say it's without the anxiety and without the spiraling. That sounds healthy. My anxiety and spiraling. No, but I definitely have that no matter what. No, no, no, it's there. It's there. It's just more standard. It's like, I'm feel like I'm doing it wrong. Like anytime I travel anywhere, I'm like, Oh yes, I get that as well. Like I'm missing out the right things to do. And it's not even, it's both, it's both like I'm missing out the right things to do. And it's not even, it's both like I'm missing out the right things. I'm missing like the right restaurant or the right activity. But it's also like, fuck, I'm not in the right state of mind. Like if I was in a better state of mind, I would be going on a walk right now.

I would be having little discoveries. I would be feeling relaxed. I would walk into a restaurant and have a meal without even Google searching it and looking up the star rating. Like I would be writing in my journal. I'd be listening to music. i'd be listening to a whole album i'll be listening to an album from the beginning to the end like i was doing things like that when i'm traveling and instead i'm just like like like tweaking out like feeling like anxious about okay you know what i i was telling em about this, but I'm reading this book called A Calm Brain that talks about how our brains are not wired for this much choice in our everyday lives. And the fact that we have to make choices between what feels like infinite options basically every moment of every day is not natural and not good for our brains and not what our brains are wired to handle

so i feel like yeah but it's like it's like social media internet and everything it makes it so much worse because i know you can also like see everything else that's happening all the time right it's like no no what no no no so i don't i don't know i don't really have a good like answer solution or anything but maybe next time that's happening you can at least remind yourself like oh right my brain is not built to deal with this situation and that's where that anxiety is is stemming from it's just well it's a yet another reason why i should meditate and why everyone should probably be meditating yet can i meditate can i ever find myself meditating absolutely not i'll do it once and then i'll be like good i've done it and i'll do it again in three months yeah it's hard it's a hard i thought you were gonna say you spend five percent of your

time being scared you're gonna die there i know because that's what i do i start to go wouldn't this be a bad way for it all to end and and sometimes it's about like where i am like i'm like like you stayed in cabin by yourself i will spend it if i'm in a cabin by myself i spend 50 of the time being like i'm so relaxed 50 being like i'm gonna die there was that as well and surprisingly it's not from being murdered it's from like if i go outside a bear is gonna attack me you know oh interesting mine is murder or Plane crash All my way there Or my car's gonna crash

Like something stupid where it's like Did I do this nice thing just for it to be the last thing I'll ever do? I think about that sometimes I will say I did not watch A scary movie there I set that boundary Because I didn't want those thoughts in my head but overall it was a very lovely trip and i've had a very nice week off going to the spa i'm

making a lot of effort to relax but it is very hard to relax i will say that intentional relaxation is due yeah yeah well we went to the spa and then you came home and watched the worst movie you've ever seen. I'm so mad. You hated it more than The Green Inferno? A lot more.

No! You thought it might be fun. Let's talk about it. This week's movie is The Sadness. I hate the name. Yeah, a lot of people recommended this. I'm mad at all of you. Oh, no.

Okay, you know how it feels. You need to take a good hard look at yourselves in the mirror. Yeah, I do know how it feels. Oh, no. I'm like mentally putting armor on i'm literally constructing armor around my body anybody i know i don't know if it was necessarily recommendation like oh this movie is so it was recommended to me as like oh this movie's so fucked up which okay it is okay not even in a good way i'm gonna have so many thoughts that

we'll get more into but but it was written and directed by Rob Shabazz, starring Berant Zhu, Regina Lee, Yi Rongchen, Su Qing Wang, and it's on Shudder. It's a Shudder original. Uh-oh. Well, Shudder, you can just go fuck yourself, huh?

So, Shudder, yeah, we take it back. We don't want you to sponsor us anymore. Actually, I know you're not asking, but if you were asking, we would say no. Right now, at least. Okay, and get ready for this. This movie has a 91% on Rotten Tomatoes. So I cannot trust Rotten Tomatoes for anything ever again. Dammit.

A flawed system, which I did know. When did it come out? This year. Oh, so it's new. I feel like sometimes newer ones have higher rate. Well, I don't know. I just made that up. I'm not sure.

Yeah, I don't know how it happened. It has a 68% on Metacritic and a 6.5 on IMDb. Everything does. So what are we supposed to do with that? Those are pretty normal ratings. These are not the ratings that it deserves, which is 0, 0, 0. 0, 0, 0. Oh, no. I have never seen you be this upset about a movie. I'm like, you're not. I am not happy. I basically spent the whole movie trying to decide if I should turn it off or not.

I kept having that internal debate with myself should i call it quits now should i cut my losses now but then it just reached a point where i just felt like i had been through so much that i needed to vent about it i was angry uh it's not too long it's like 90 99 minutes but if you're hating it that'll'll feel long. Felt like days. We just watched Banjo-Zoom this year, in which I did really like half of it. And then the second half, I was like, thank God this movie's short. It'll be over soon.

And then it didn't. That second half, it was long. It was really long. Yeah, time slows down when you're not having fun. It does, indeed. It does, indeed. Not a lot of trivia about this movie also couldn't find a budget there's obviously no box office went straight to shutter 37 dollars what did you say it made 37 dollars i heard that's on average 37 yeah i i hope so that's more than it deserves.

You're just going to keep being so mean. Oh, my God. The film was funded with a mixture of cryptocurrency and revenue from a producer's cam girl business. Thought that was interesting. Okay. Okay. Cam girl. Interesting. Cryptocurrency.

I don't understand. I know. It's like one of those. I'm like uh-oh and one of those i'm like hmm tell me more and there's no there's very little cgi in this movie 99 of the special effects are practical effects i think that's the main thing that people liked about it is the gore does mostly look pretty good i wouldn't say it looks you know incredible but it it looks it's not not bad and i think people were just very shocked by i'm like so confused about how this movie got good reviews have you read some of the the positive review like i yeah i'm curious what they would say yeah they're saying a daring new voice in horror really uninhibited by having by trying to get a message across which isn't praise in my book. Wow. Oh, my God. All done.

Oh, man. Okay. So we've got a trailer. We've got a Red Band trailer. I'm assuming you don't want to watch the Red Band trailer. No, absolutely not. We've got Red Band. I figured I'd let you guys choose.

Wow. That is a real mark of how much you hated this movie is you're not going to make us watch the Red Band trailer. No, I think you guys probably couldn't handle it, to be honest. Fucking Christ. I've literally never seen Sammy this mad before. I've never seen her. I can see it in her eyes. Her eyes are like dead behind

them. I've never been this mad. She's so mad. I've never been this mad. Alright, regular trailer, please. Regular trailer, even that reluctantly. I found you. I found you. You guys are going to hate this movie so much what if we didn't wait wait wait it's not too late for us to stop

let's just not do it let's just not do it this looks horrible okay okay if we had to do movies like this every week I simply would not be able to do this podcast we wouldn't still be here I think this is gonna be the worst one we've ever done i'd rather watch

every day for the rest of my life than watch this movie again wait no i don't know how to turn my ears off i want to just shut my brain down i'm so scared about hearing this movie i'm so scared Start shutting it down Henley Can you just go like Can you just talk like really fast Or you know what you just don't have to Include everything You know

Skip some stuff Do you need to be able to Not hold this alone That was kind of my thinking While watching it was I just first of all as a way to potentially protect

others from making the mistake of watching this movie themselves someone might think oh that movie I heard I've heard a lot about that movie maybe I should watch it and then they could listen to this podcast even just the first just right now till right now-ish. And even turn this off and say, never mind.

You can walk away. And walk away. You can walk away. So that's why this is like a true service to others to say this one. Oh, Sammy, thank you. Bless you. Except it's not a service to you guys because you guys will have to hear about it. But it's a service to potential listeners. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh my god. You're going to want to skip this one. It's so funny to record a podcast to tell people don't listen to this. Hey, you came here to listen to the podcast. We're here to say don't. It'll still be here.

We'll still be talking. You won't be listening. So what is this for listen past the ad break and then yes please oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god emily are you okay no okay we're gonna no i'm not we're gonna do it in the past few years i have hit a point where i only want to be wearing clothes that are comfortable it happened it happened to me but you know what i still also want to look cute and these are two desires that are often extremely opposing and i don't want to have to

sacrifice i want both i want comfort and i want to feel cute and confident. And guess what? Skims has freaking done it again with their soft lounge collection. I am currently very, very obsessed with, I have the soft lounge tank and boxer set. Okay. This tank, it's a great little rib tank. Classic. You can wear it every day. You can pair it with jeans. You can wear it out in the world, or you can wear it with this little boxer short that is so comfortable. It is super, super soft, lightweight rib. They're great. I also truly have been for years stealing Joel's boxer briefs to wear as sleepwear and loungewear. And guess what? That ain't cutting it. I'm not feeling too cute in those. I'm not feeling too comfortable. But desperate times. However, desperate times no more because skims has done it

you too can get on board with this you can see just how cute and comfortable you can be shop the skims soft lounge collection at skims.com now available in sizes extra extra small through 4x and if you haven't yet be sure to let them know that we sent you. After you place your order, select podcast in the survey and select too scary, didn't watch in the drop down menu that follows. If you're a new parent, a bad day means you either ran out of coffee, diapers, patience, or all of the above. Stocking up on cold brew and deep breaths are all you, but at least Hello Bello's got your baby's butt covered. Hello Bello believes all families deserve premium, affordable baby products. With their ultra-convenient diaper bundle subscription service that includes seven packs of diapers and four packs of plant-based wipes,

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Don't forget, that's HelloBello.com slash TooScary. Let's just do it. Let's just go. Let's just do it. Oh boy. But yes, as you may have guessed, we will need some trigger warnings for this movie. A lot of violence. There is rape.

There is sexual assault. And there's violence against children. So just basically everything bad. Mm-hmm. I have good news and bad news. Bad news is that, you know, we have to talk about this movie. Good news is that I absolutely refused to scroll through it again to take notes. So there's going to be some stuff I miss.

Great, great, great. Love that for us. And so you're welcome for that. And for everything that I do remember, I am sorry. Okay, we start with a couple in bed waking up in the morning. This is Jim and Kat. And Kat mentions how they have a trip planned next week. Jim says he forgot about it and he now has booked work.

And it seems like it's been hard for him to get work lately. So he's like, I have to take this job. I'm really sorry. She's very annoyed and says it's really hard for me to get work lately. So he's like, I have to take this job. I'm really sorry. She's very annoyed, says it's really hard for me to get time off work. And so they get in a little fight. She goes in the bathroom to get ready and he's in the living room and turns on the TV and we see an interview with a reporter guy and a scientist and the scientist is warning about the Alvin virus and

the reporter is brushing it off and saying you know nobody's died yet all you scientists are really making a whole big thing out of nothing. A great prediction for what's what you can count on in the future nobody's died yet yeah

calm down and the scientist says he's very worried about the potential mutations of the alvin virus and that it is seems to be in the family close to rabies and it just has some scary potential future that nobody seems to be too worried about except for him. Probably shouldn't have named it the Alvin virus. It doesn't sound very funny. Yeah, that's true. It's like how people take hurricanes with male names more seriously than female names. Isn't that crazy? And that's a fact I've never once verified.

I just heard it. Well, we don't do that here. And I repeat never once verified. I just heard it. Well, we don't do that here. And I repeat it. So. We see Jim go out to the balcony and. There is a person on a roof. Across from him, like a couple hundred feet away from him that he can see is just staring off into the distance. It looks very eerie and

weird. And they're in a nasty nightgown. Did I say that already? No. But it's important. And he calls out to her and says, are you okay? And this old woman turns around and the whole front of the nightgown is soaked in blood.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And I think she smiles up at him. No. And then Kat comes out of the bathroom and is, like, ready to go. And by the time he turns and looks back, the old woman is gone.

And they also run into his neighbor who has the balcony next to him. So they kind of have their little morning check in. Hey, how are you? How's the day going? Whatever. And then Jim takes Kat to the subway station so she can go to work.

And as they're driving, he's got a little Vespa. They're driving there and they pass by a really hectic violent looking like arrest happening where it's cops arresting two or three people who are like drenched in blood that are acting like very violent and it's looking like very dramatic everyone's gathered around watching and they pass by it and and notice it but continue on to the subway station. And then on Jim's way back, he passes by the same spot. And the cop car is seeming there's nobody around it anymore. And the cop car just has like all the doors open with one of the cops vests like strung over the door.

Nobody's around anymore. Okay. He goes to the corner cafe by his house to get some coffee. And as he's in there, the old woman that he saw on the roof walks in. We see her pass behind him. Same nightgown? Yeah. Nasty nightgown behind him same nightgown hasn't changed nasty nightgown lady same night nightgown and other customers in the cafe notice her and someone walks up to her to ask her if she's okay and we get our first like good look at her face and her teeth look really dirty like they have like brown all over them and her eyes

are puffy and swollen red and this will just come to learn is kind of the identifying way to see if someone is infected this is what they look like and as this person asks if she's okay she spits in his face and her spit is the texture of hard-boiled egg yolk oh sammy it's so gross no these are the kinds of details we just don't need. And he falls backwards and she then kind of goes on a little rampage and she reaches behind the counter and grabs a pot of boiling oil that they're making fries in and dumps it on the cook's head and then grabs his skin and is like peeling the skin off his head as it's melting. And as this is happening, we see the other customers start attacking each other as well so the guy who's gotten spit in his face is also now like so they immediately lunging and trying to kill other people in the cafe okay pretty fucking quick yes but um this is one of my problems with the movie is it's unclear how this is being transmitted.

I'm guessing it's through the spit. Or like any bodily fluid. Because it's really inconsistent because there's tons of bodily fluid in this movie and not everybody who comes in contact with the fluids get infected. It doesn't seem to be airborne but sometimes it does and it just is unclear and it just annoyed me so jim gets out of there really quick he turns and runs and as he's running back to his apartment he sees various horrible sights like people jumping out of windows of their apartments it shows someone jumping out of a window. It shows them hitting the floor and really exploding. Exploding.

And passes by like groups of infected people, like tearing people apart and just blood everywhere and absolute mayhem. And he's running and running and running. And he gets back to his apartment locks the door behind him and he's texting cat saying where are you something is something really bad is happening don't come back here people are going crazy people are hurting each other i'll come to you like stay where you are and as he's texting we see from the balcony door his neighbor coming into his house and sneaking up behind him and he turns around just in time and we see his neighbor who was uh by the way gardening when we

first saw him now is coming at him with a pair of garden shears and thrusts them at jim and jim uses his hands and grabs the scissors part of the garden shears. That's all he can like do to block it. So it's like cutting into his hands as he's as he's trying to wrestle him away. And he like gets one hand out and is just holding it with one hand. And the guy slices it, cuts two of his fingers off. and the guy slices it, cuts two of his fingers off. And then says he's like laughing the whole time and really enjoying himself, the neighbor.

And again, puffy red eyes. They also drool a lot, the infected. So there's a lot of spit coming out of his mouth and his eyes are really puffy. And he's laughing as he chops off the fingers. And he says, don't worry about your girlfriend. I'll finger her for you. And this is about when I started hating the movie.

I was on board up until right now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, thanks. And that's my main issue with this movie is there's a lot of sexual violence in it, as I previously stated. And I just, believe it or not, don't find that fun or interesting at all. You don't?

It makes me really, really angry. Yeah. It just feels like a really unnecessary thing, to say the least, especially when it's like not... It's to no end. Yeah. It's just for entertainment

like when people use it as another like can't can you believe how fucked up this is it's like well um people experience sexual violence every day and that's a real thing and so like let's not just throw it in for shock value because it feels crazy to you because you probably have never experienced it and maybe never will, aren't vulnerable to it and that fucking sucks. Yeah, that's exactly right. And yeah, so

yeah. So then the movie ends. Roll credits. Jim is able to, I think he hits the neighbor with a toaster and is able to get away and he's running now out of his apartment trying to get to his vespa he passes a group of people who are gleefully stomping on someone's arm like breaking it and he finds another group of people again ripping somebody else apart.

They don't notice him. And his vest was parked right by them. And so he knows that the second he tries to turn it on, it's going to alert them to his whereabouts. And so it's kind of a stressful moment of him turning the ignition. It's not going. It's not going. And now they're all big, smiling, running towards him. They're all big, smiling, running towards him.

And he gets away at the last second and is driving his Vespa off into the distance. And we just see this kind of horde of infected people chasing him. But he's outrunning them. He's going to get away. Cut to Kat on the train on her way to... Oh, really bad place to be when this is going down. Yeah. She's on her way to a really bad place to be when this is going down. She's on her way to work, oblivious to everything that has gone on, even though her phone is in her hand. She's on her phone. He has texted her. I don't know if maybe we've done like a very slight flashback in time. Maybe it's, you know know the same period of time happening again but just thought it's just like little details like that that were also just felt like bad filmmaking to me where

it's like he we just saw him text her her phone is in her hand why i just feel sloppy you know is it because she's underground yeah maybe but there's other things like that i'll call them out because they all made me mad did it cut back yeah it's like cutting back to the exact same time frame that's what i thought it might be yeah repeat of time but or she's like me and like just on tiktok and not paying attention to the world around her could be that oblivious she could just be on tiktok that is true and the guy sitting next to her is being a big old creep um this older guy he's in the credits as businessman so i'll call him businessman right and he basically tells her that he sees her on the train all the time.

And he's always wanted to tell her that he thinks she's really pretty. And she's at first being polite with him and saying, oh, that's really nice. Thank you. Like, I'm just reading right now. Oh, you know what? She's reading a book. I'm wrong. She was reading her book because she says that she says, I'm just focused on my book right now.

And he asks her, like, what are you reading? And she's like, eventually gets annoyed. He's being way too persistent and creepy. And she's like, you know what? Like, I've asked you a few times now. Like, can you please just stop talking to me? And impressive. And he obviously gets very offended by that and says, like, people these days, you can't

even compliment a woman without her getting mad and she gets up and she offers her seat to somebody else and to this to this other woman who will become one of our characters in a moment here so uh and as this is happening we see another man on the train wearing big sunglasses. But we see that under his sunglasses, his eyes are looking pretty wet, red and puffy. And he pulls out a switchblade from his pocket and just goes on a stabbing spree in this train, which is incredibly scary. I feel like. Oof, oof, oof, oof i i think this is like effectively scary just being

on a train with someone who is just seemingly randomly stabbing people and looking so happy doing it and one of the men he stabs in the neck and then bites and like rips out a chunk of his neck and it sprays blood in this fountany way that's absolutely like not not possible but it makes like a fountain of blood that sprays up to the roof of the train and is just drenched it's like puddles of blood now collecting in the floor of this train car and everyone watching in shock and some people immediately becoming also infected and attacking each other so it just spreads really quickly this is where some of the sexual violence starts we see people trying to rape people on the train of uh raping men raping women it just is everything they can think of is happening and oh god we see a cat watching this in terror she's

kind of huddled in a corner uh there's you know no escape and she's now huddled with the woman who she gave her spot to the businessman got up at some point because he was pissed or something and walked away and so these two women are huddled together and the businessman comes back and we see now that he is also infected his eyes are red and he looks at him says something probably fucking gross to them his like ridge anger at being rejected turns into a desire to rape and kill cat but he takes he has an umbrella with him and with his, he takes out the other woman. Her name is Molly. He takes, pokes Molly's eye out, like takes that out of her skull. Okay. And then we arrive at the next train stop and the doors open and Kat grabs Molly, who is like screaming and bleeding out of her head and obviously freaking the fuck out and grabs her. And I mean, a bunch of people just like rush off this train trying to get out of this train station.

Some people are staying in the train covered in blood, having sex, still naked people. It's madness. And we see that she in this loses that cat loses her cell phone. She drops it as they're running off the train. And we see the texts from Jim. And the train station gets pretty quickly empty, considering all the people that just ran out. But they're running for the exit. empty considering all the people that just ran out, but they're running for the exit.

And we see businessman behind them at one end of a hallway. And at the other end of the hallway, the public transportation worker is closing a gate to try to lock people in there because they've figured out something is going on and they're trying to keep it contained, I guess. And businessman breaks the glass of an emergency thing and grabs an axe out of it and is again yelling things at molly and cat and they run and are screaming like hold hold the door like let us out let us out and the guy's not holding it for them but they're just barely able to slide under the grate as he is closing it. And they make it out just in time. Businessman gets locked in and is standing, you know, through the gate calling out to them like, I'm going to get you.

And he's like wiggling his tongue at them, being all gross. Gross. So when they become like zombies, they can still talk. And yes. Well, you know what? I'm not loving it so far. I'm just going to tell you so far. Not for me. Yeah. There's a lot left.

I know. I know Sammy. No, we're going to get through fast. Okay. So as they're outside now, right outside the metro station, Molly punches the metro worker guy and he's an annoying

little weasel. Yeah, weasel. Thank you. That's exactly right. He's like they told me to close it and they were like, you could see us calling out to you and he's all crying over being punched in the face and they ask him you could see us calling out to you and he's all crying over being punched in the face and they ask him where's like how do we get to the hospital he directs them to it and he goes with them and we see them make it into the hospital and then we

cut back to jim who is now on his vespa on his way to town and we see that the main tunnel is completely blocked with cars that have crashed into each other so there's no way in so he's gonna have to take the long way which is through a rural role is a funny word rural rural juror the rural juror the rural juror remember the rural juror did you guys see that 30 rock episode yeah

nobody ever can know what the I like that both response yeah of course we just said it we've been saying it have we seen the thing

that we're referencing yeah okay well you don't have to be mean about it i want to take a light-hearted moment to talk about the roger but you just shut me down we should we should take a light-hearted moment we should savor these light-hearted moments we're all in we're you know we're in a bad headspace it's bringing out the worst in us okay so he's going through kind of a grassy area and he finds a scythe or a sickle i don't really know the difference but you can picture you know that kind of thing that you like use to cut weeds or corn or something like that picks that up that's gonna be handy that seems like a pretty good weapon maybe not as good as

a fire poker but pretty better than nothing and he comes upon a group of infected teenage boys that seem like they were on like a softball team or something. They're all in a uniform and they have baseball bats or maybe softball bats. I think it's the same bat but different ball. We don't get a look at the ball. Or maybe we do. I don't really remember. Well, I mean, I just I think they're all the same bats.

But you can picture what they kind of look like and the weapons they're wielding. Bats. Got it. Suffice to say, they're wielding. Bats. Got it. Suffice to say, they're bats. And they are absolutely beating the shit out of a man. His face is swollen like twice the size of a normal head because of how much he has been beaten.

Oh, no. He is like bleeding from everywhere. They're all laughing. Having a grand old time. It seems like it's not sadistic enough for them. And one of them has a little light bulb idea. I've got an idea. Find some barbed wire.

No. And wraps it around a pole. And then they grab him with his legs. Like his legs spread. And they run him crotch first into the barbed wire over and over no okay jim for some reason decides he's gonna go in and and break this up and save this man which i guess i guess is noble But it's also absolutely insane It's fucking stupid And wrong Yeah so he goes in there with his little

Scythe and Is able to Overpower one of the kids And gets the baseball bat From him and hits him with that And the kids Do run off and he gets the guy which is also like what are you gonna do with this man now he's clearly he's going to die mortally injured yeah

and it just yeah seems it was not well thought out but this man looks at him or we think looks at him his eyes are absolutely swollen shut and he says why did you stop them I was just about to come and laughs in his face oh god okay well I

hate this yeah yep so I I hate this so much oh my god it gets worse it gets oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god so now we're back to cat and molly and metro guy just arriving in the hospital waiting room the hospital seems pretty well contained. No one is infected in there, but obviously everyone's injured. It's like the emergency room. No one looks good, but

seems like no one's infected in there. So she brings in Molly and the nurses immediately take Molly back into the hospital to have surgery. They tell cat she has to stay out here in the waiting room with everybody else and the metro guy's like what about me my nose she punched me and they're like uh you're gonna be fine like it's not broken stop whining about it again he looks like really mad about this like he's not being tended to enough and cat asks to use his phone and Kat asks to use his phone and he doesn't want to and she screams at him basically grabs it from him

says you almost got us fucking killed like let me use your goddamn phone and like snatches it out of his hand. He's like little baby little mad man. She texts Jim and says I'm at the hospital. I lost my phone. And I

think he's writing on his Vespa at this point, so he's not immediately responding, but now he knows where she is. And after she texts him, this emergency broadcast comes on from, it's like military generals and the president, and they're saying,

you know, X percent of the population seems to be infected with generals and the president, and they're saying, you know, X percent of the population seems to be infected with the Alvin virus. And that's something like 4 million people. But we're going to get under control. And we have all these units dispatched and like help is on the way. And as this broadcast is happening, of of course the head army general's eyes start getting really swollen and red and on this live broadcast he then goes on a rampage grabs a grenade from somebody pulls the pin and i think he like licks it as he's pulling the like sexually

suggestively licking this grenade as he like pulls the pin out of it and then shoves it into the president's mouth. The president's head explodes on live television and everyone is very shaken in this hospital. They're like not reacting that big. But Kat is just feeling a little shaken we're all just a little shaken in here i think that yeah they're just like shocked they don't like know what to do no one's like of course not of course not but they're all just like uh what the fuck and there's a guard a security guard guarding the door with his back to the door. And we see the businessman walking up behind him with the axe and Kat and him make eye contact. And he smiles and winks at Kat and then through the glass door axes, the guard in the back breaks this glass door so that then this horde of infected people all run in.

Everybody runs. Cat runs down into the hallway one direction and Metro guy runs another direction. And Metro guy runs past Molly, who seems to be out of surgery and has her eyes now bandaged. And she seems like sedated. She's like pretty out of it. And she's just in a wheelchair outside of a hospital room. And he, he like looks at her and kind of does a double take.

Like, what do I do? And then just like runs past her and hides under a gurney or something. And. Oh God. As he does does the businessman comes back there and finds Molly and asks

her where your friend Kat is or no where your friend is he doesn't know her name and basically I don't know says something like that's clearly who he wants to rape but she's not here right now so I don't know says something like that's Clearly who he wants to Rape but She's not here right now so he

Says we'll have fun together you and I And he takes her eye bandage off And I'm so sorry to report that he No no no Don't say it don't say it we know we know You know we know What the fuck Which like I think would kill her it's like she's screaming

The whole time and it's like a really long it's like mostly on the metro guy's face as he's hiding like hearing her screams during this but like i feel like you would die i don't think you'd be yeah seems like you would die seems like you would die so so these so when you're infected it's not it doesn't really even turn you into a zombie. It just makes you like, cause he can, you can still like strategize and like think for yourself kind of. Yeah. We'll get some exposition about it at the very end of the movie where all the exposition should be. I guess that's fine. But yeah, so that's horrible and I'm seething and i can see that you're both seething as well

and everybody's mad nobody's having a good time it's just why did this it's really bad it's really bad 91 on rotten tomatoes 91 we're all asking ourselves how does this happen why does this happen why why why why why we see cat in a hallway gets she at some point took the phone from the Metro guy. So she has the phone now. She calls Jim. She's able to get through to him so they can talk to each other. And she basically says the hospital is under attack. I don't know what to do. Like, I'm so scared. And he says, just hide somewhere and text me wherever you are. I'm coming there right now. So that's her plan. And we see where Jim is.

He's by a lake that has a floating mannequin head in it. And he has a hallucination that it, like, comes to life. And it's a decapitated head. And it's, like, licking its lips. And, like, blood is coming out of its mouth. And it's like... That's just so stupid. I'm sorry. coming out of its mouth. It's like. That's just so stupid.

I'm sorry. I had to include it. It's just like, I hate this movie. So then we see the, the businessman goes off to go look for Kat some more. And now the Metro guy's coming out of his hiding spot because no one's around except for Molly. And. Who's still alive. Who's still alive. Who's still alive. But not infected. She does get infected.

By now. But I don't know if this is the moment. Let's just say this is the moment we see. Because I don't really remember. Do you think anybody's still listening to our podcast? It's hard to say. Really hard to say. Really hard to say. Hello out there, little stranger.

I really hope not. So he goes into the waiting room where basically the main attack happened. And everybody is naked and bloody. And it's basically just a bloody orgy happening. Okay. And as he stumbles upon this, I think this is when Molly comes in and we see that she's infected and her and the rest of the infected kill Metro guy.

And I think they like saw him in half with one of those like brain, brain cutters. Sure. Sure. Yeah. A little brain cutter cutter that's the medical term i believe 100 medically i used to love back to school shopping so much that i would tell my mom that i wanted to work at staples when i grew up because i just loved getting all the things that i needed that i would use every day in class. I still to this day have nightmares about showing up in class without notebooks or number two pencils.

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for some reason just as if she's just like tired resting which is she's not injured at all it's just so crazy you just simply can't but it's also like she's not presented like she's in shock I don't know if this is a performance issue or something,

but she just looks like she's just decided to take a little rest here. And then she's shocked and terrified when two infected people bust in on her and find her. Find her out in the open? Out in the open. You're not hiding. Go fucking hide. Also, if you're going to have to run away from people, a staircase is the last place I'd want to have to do that whether we're running up or down it's harder

than flat so like if you're gonna be in the open at least be in the open on stable ground really poor planning on cats and it doesn't matter that i'm saying this because nobody's listening to the podcast but you you get it. Henley, it's now truly a safe space, truly just a discussion between friends. That's all I've ever wanted. Yeah, this is all we're doing. That's all I've ever wanted. So we see two infected people chasing after her.

She runs up the stairs. This is now part of the hospital that's under construction. There's, you know, the little plastic sheeting hung everywhere. Creepy ambiance. She is able to close the doors to a hallway and pulls off the metal arm

of a hospital bed to put through the door handles to block it. Am I describing this well? Yes you are yes you are i totally get it i totally see it uh lock lock them out and but it's you know not holding very well and they're banging really banging against it it's like gonna give eventually and she sure stands and stares at it for a long time to be like is it gonna hold is it gonna hold let me just wait this out i put something into practice and i would like to see the fruits of

my labor how many shots does it take to break the lock that i built if i watch it it will hold and the businessman appears and shoves the other two guys out of the way and sticks his face through the hole between the doors and is telling her how excited he is to see her because he's going to fuck her to death and he is then able to break through and uh gets into the hall with her she's running down the hall and she finds a fire extinguisher and turns back and like blasts that in his face. And it, you know, stops him for a second. He can't see where he is, disorients him. And then she bashes his head in with the fire extinguisher.

Great. This effect looks pretty good. I think this was probably the best looking effect. You see, like, she fucking destroys his skull there's parts where you see like individual teeth falling out of his oh my god oh my god it looks pretty good but at some in some way it also felt anticlimactic it's like he's the big bad guy in this movie and it was kind of just there a little too quick i don't know something about it felt yeah just like poorly the build-up what i don't know maybe i was just too mad to this movie sucks yeah it's bad then she is pulled into a room by a man in basically like hazard gear complete like a hazmat suit type thing and this is the maternity ward we

see like the empty baby no babies in there okay um but this is where he's set up i do feel like sam you warned us about violence against children yeah it's good to maybe start preparing for that okay she goes in this room with this guy and we see that it is the scientist i think from the broadcast earlier from the interview that was worried about the album virus he is doing all his little tests in here and he has a gun and at gunpoint, he tells her to handcuff herself in a shower that's in this room. Which I was like, no, just say no. And thankfully, she does say no, which I at least appreciated that attempt to say no. And he basically, because there's still, you know, infected people very close by.

And so obviously, if you're handcuffed and they get in, you're absolutely fucked. You're dead. But he basically says, you can either handcuff yourself or I'll shoot you right now or you can go back out there. I mean, shoot me right now. I want to die. Yeah, that's true. I'd be trying to get my hands on a gun so that when push comes to shove. I want to die. Yeah, that's true. I'd be trying to get my hands on a gun so that when push comes to shove, I can kill myself.

Yeah. That's all I'm thinking about right now. Yeah. But she does decide she handcuffs herself in the shower and it's one of the chemical disinfectant showers. So he presses button and it's um showering her with very cold chemicals but also like not very well she's by the way at this point drenched head to toe in blood okay so that doesn't necessarily infect you yeah and so she's yeah cleaned off but still so much blood on her it just seems like not a sterile environment at all and this is where we get our exposition dump he starts monologuing about how um the alvin virus has mutated to affect the part of the brain that controls sex and aggression and it makes people do the worst most horrible things

they can think of but they're still fully conscious that what they're doing is wrong and bad but the drive to do it is so strong that it's like telling someone not to blink okay it says that he says they need their victims to be suffering that's why they don't attack each other which isn't true we saw them attacking the guy the baseball team that guy was also oh yeah infected and having a good time yeah and having a good time so the kids are worse at it again like not making sense not making sense how does this get fucking past and also how would this guy actually know all of this really he literally this morning no one had been infected yeah exactly when did he learn all of this what studies is he doing where's his lab and if this if he knew this When did he learn all of this? What studies is he doing? Where's his lab?

And if he knew this now, did he discover this over the course of the past couple hours? Or did he know this morning and just didn't fail to mention it? I can't imagine how he could. How could he? Doesn't make any sense. Well, I certainly hate it. Yeah. So she is eventually like somewhat rinsed off. Doesn't seem like enough to me, but they don't seem too concerned about it, even though it's like very much a life or death situation. She gets into some scrubs. He like makes her change in front of her. He's creepy. Like his vibe is very scary.

But he's not infected. Like, have we seen his teeth? He's not infected. Okay. But he's like very much not like a good person. A good scientist. That's like, oh, he has all the answers. Like he seems sinister.

He's like pacing around like a fucking evil genius. That's maybe kind of how we're feeling. Okay. Okay. So she's, she's very scared of him he's not good and she texts jim like kind of secretly on the phone she like turns his turns you back to him and she's texting she's like okay i'm almost done throwing away all my bloody clothes without gloves into this just regular trash can. That doesn't seem like sterile, where hazardous waste should go.

And so she texts him. And then as she throws the pile of clothes and the phone into the trash, the trash starts crying. Oh, what? Oh, no. Is this children? Oh oh no is this children no and all the babies are in the trash and the top baby is still alive no i don't want to know anything the top baby no yes there were many babies in this in this maternity ward and the top one is infected you see it has its red swollen eyes and he look this scientist looks like like i'm sorry you had to see that and like basically pushes her out of the way strangles the baby kills it and tells her you know the babies were

gonna die anyways when i found when i came here the room they had all been abandoned and so i thought i could at least and like inject the virus into them and see if any of them were immune that would help us find a cure okay and uh she's obviously you know horr horrified. And he then injects her with the virus. Okay. And says, you know, within the next five minutes, we'll know whether or not you're immune. And if so. Feels like not a very controlled experiment. What are our variables here? So loose.

Okay. This whole fucking movie's real fast and loose with any sort of logic, reason, purpose. I'm so mad. I'm so mad. I know that I'm supposed to be reacting and responding and I just, I'm realizing that I can't. I can't. Everything's been shut down. Yeah.

And there's nothing left i have we're almost done luckily that we really we're almost done okay great okay okay cool so he injects her says within five minutes we'll know if you're infected if you are we're gonna go to the roof a helicopter is gonna pick us up i've negotiated with whatever the government to be to like go and help work on the cure or whatever. So they wait, she doesn't seem to be turning or getting infected. And so he uncuffs her and they start walking down the hallways to get to the roof, to the stairs to the roof to the stairs to the roof and as they get to a corner one of the infected has the businessman's axe and axes down on the doctor's the scientist's foot but it's high it's like super high up on the foot so basically only his heel is left like chops off the whole

foot which i don't know. I've never seen. I've never seen that before. You see maybe a toe get chopped off. I've never seen a foot get chopped off that high. And so that I was like, oh, this is an interesting part of the movie. The whole foot. This is interesting.

I'm back on board. Oh, one interesting thing. You don't see that every day. You don't see that every day. Why is that something that I I appreciate it you're looking for anything you're trying to hold on to anything at this point you're just give me something give me something anything but fucking dead babies and rape i'll take a thousand i chopped off this movie why is this kind of shit even greenlit like right i'm like my My anger goes all the way up the

fucking ladder. That's why we're so pissed at Shudder. Somebody had to write this. Some fucking little freak bitch had to write this. And then like 25 people... And imagine that little freak bitch getting a fucking 91%

on Rotten Tomatoes and getting positive reinforcement. This little motherfucker gets to go, I'm good. I made a good movie. Good for me. You didn't, Rob. People like me. I'm good. I'm smart. I did a good job. Fuck no, you

didn't. You did a really bad job. You unleashed hell onto this earth and we will not forgive you. This is a stain on our record as humans. This is one of the worst things that humans have done. Absolutely tarnishing the name of human beings.

We had a stellar record before this. We've done good things mostly. Unbelievable. So he's now stumbling around with a foot most of the foot missing and but he's got his gun with him

and the infected are attacking them and he's shooting them and kills the ones that are attacking him and then at the end of the hall we see jim has arrived and cat is so excited to see him but we see he is infected okay eyes are puffy it's heartbreaking for Kat. And because he is still kind of a little bit himself, it's confusing. Again, these are also the rules that are a little confusing. I think he goes to attack the scientist first and seems excited to see Kat.

And seems excited to see Kat. But I don't know, it's just obviously not himself. And so he I can't remember how he kills the scientists, but he does. And in the scientists dying breath, he talks about how much he loved killing those babies. I don't know why they thought that this movie needed that, but maybe so we can like be satisfied watching him die. It's just like a confusing thing from a writing perspective. He's just like, oh man, killing those babies really was the highlight of my life. Like, this has been great.

Goodbye. So weird. Okay. Thank you. No,. Okay. Thank you. No, thanks. We'll pass. Are we thinking he created this virus? I don't think he did, but...

He's just loving it. He's just loving every second of it. Maybe he did. I don't know. Okay. Feels like that would have been something he would have talked about in his last long Yeah, that's true. He would have said that in his dying breath.

Yeah, that's true. Fucking bitch. Yeah, he doesn't keep anything hidden. But Kat is able to grab the keys to the roof from him and closes a gate between herself and Jim. So they're on two sides of this gate. So she's able to safely talk to him. to safely talk to him and he's telling her he's like crazed and and seems like rabid and but is talking to her and saying you know the this today is the first time i ever felt purpose in my life when you were in danger i i like wanted to come to you i wanted to protect you it was the most i've ever felt

like my life had meaning i just knew i had to come here i had to come for you and chop your tits off and feed them to you it's like not even it's it's i knew some fucking shit like that was coming. Oh my god. I'm laughing now in the retelling, but you better believe I was seething when it was happening. Yeah. Well, just hearing it out of, like, not watching it is so insane. It sounds ridiculous. It sounds like it was something that would be said in, like, a South Park episode.

Who is this little motherfucker who this came from his brain rob shabazz public enemy number one i like eli more i was gonna say it made me like eli rothmore this movie made green inferno look so good so i got oh i'm so mad she's looking heartbroken her love is no longer himself she turned she turns to go to the roof gets to the roof opens the door it's just this very bright uh light coming through and we just see her silhouette disappear outside and we hear kind of distant gunfire and the sounds of obviously a city under a siege and craziness happening. And Jim sits with his back to the gate. I think he's been stabbed or shot maybe from the scientist and he is dying and he sits and dies and smiles real

big while he's dying as the camera pushes into his smiling zombie face and that's the end of the movie what? wait what happened to Kat? she made it to the roof so

maybe she's like okay ambiguous maybe she made it maybe she roof so maybe she's like a little okay because she like ambiguous maybe she made it maybe she didn't it's maybe a litmus test for us the viewer to decide who the fuck cares like honestly at this point exactly that's the biggest takeaway i just like i honestly even hope cat dies i literally don't care i hate this i hate this god that. God, the success of this movie means they're going to be able to make more movies. And that's what's not okay. This needs to stop now. It really was shaking my view of humanity reading the positive reviews of this movie.

It just made me feel gross to see anyone that liked this movie. it just made me feel gross to see anyone that liked this movie because it's, it's not even good. There's, it's nothing. There's no plot. Really? Nothing really happens in it. The characters are not interesting.

Everything's very one dimensional. It's just shock value for shock value. It's just like, yeah, we're going gonna rape and kill people for fun and that's it how do you write a positive review of that and feel like let's publish this and i'll i'm no i'm really i'm like mad at this singular individual who i've never met i haven't felt this way since

we did the green inferno where i'm like i don't know this person but I think they're disgusting and I hate them and like I I like I want to scream at them I want to like I want to find this person I want to go to some fucking event that this man is at and I want to find

his greatest insecurity and I want to I want to tell it to him I want to make him to him. I want to make him feel so small. I want I want to ruin this man emotionally for what he has done and for the blight

on the otherwise pristine record of human males making movies. Fucking Christ. I'm so mad. Yeah, I really couldn't believe it. And I you can see how even after finishing, I've considered do I watch a whole not do I stay up late watching a whole new movie to recap?

Do I watch a whole not do I stay up late watching a whole new movie to recap? But I just felt like it was a big it got a big enough reaction from me that I felt compelled to talk about it. Release process with my friends in a safe space. Did you did you read the Roger Ebert review, which is not Raj? It's one of the little cronies who work there. Yes. And it was pretty positive. Yeah, I'm reading it right now. So it got three stars.

All right. Last week, we did The Black Coat's Daughter, which was not a great movie, but I definitely can see the merits in it. And that only got, I think, two stars. So it's got more stars than it. Three is way too many. The last sentence of this review is i don't know how he or his collaborators will top the sadness but i look forward to seeing them try it makes me feel insane i don't want to live in a world where that is the last sentence okay i want to find

that guy's greatest insecurity i want to go to some event that he's at i want to ruin him emotionally simon abrams we're coming for you simon welcome to the list we're gonna make a fucking kill bill hit list oh my god i'm gonna recite it to myself every night before i go to sleep oh my god oh my god you guys know i had a roommate in new y York who did that when I first moved to New York. What? Yeah, I did. With her enemies? Yeah, with her enemies. I lived with two like 40 year old women when I first moved to New York and both of them are waitresses and they had a feud going. Between each other?

Yeah, between each other. Oh, that's dramatic in a stressful home environment. It was not fun for a lot of reasons, but that was one of them. But one of them told me that the other one kept a list of names that she recited to herself every night before bed. Well, this is pre-sadness, so I don't even know what those names could have been. I know. I'm simon was on the list simon abrams i'm sure he is now if he was not then i'm so angry i was so mad okay and this is what i was gonna say is i very rarely need palate cleansers i usually can watch most horror

movies and go straight to bed and sleep soundly and everything's fine. I'm usually actually, usually actually in a good mood after I watch a horror movie. This movie, I, my heart rate, probably my blood pressure was like double normal numbers. Like my heart rate was skyrocketing. I was so fuming mad.

I couldn't even think what I could possibly watch as a palate cleanser to make make anything better like it was just it's like you're in such a state of hopelessness like nothing seemed like it would bring you back like I was like Fraser won't even begin to scrape the surface of like what I need and so I ended up watching a documentary about cats. Okay. That's good. Which did help a little bit. Was it one about cat shows? No, I did.

I couldn't find that one. You got to do. Cause it's an absolute delight. I do want to watch that one, but I think it was cause it was late enough that I knew I probably wouldn't be able to finish it. And that movie I want to really, really watch.

So I think it was just whatever it was, something on Netflix, like all about cats or something like that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Did it help? And it did help. I might do that today. Yeah. So, listeners, if there are any of you left here...

You're not here anymore. It's just us. Just us in the void. Watching a documentary about cats, because cats are really cool. Cats are so cool let's just hey forget like we didn't we didn't talk about a movie but you know what i like cats i like cats if you don't like cats i'm sure there's documentaries about dogs i'm sure there's documentary about whatever animal you like and so go watch that but also if you don't like cats um why if you don't like cats why maybe

explore that it is interesting the like psychological meaning behind cat people and dog people because there's i think to be fair different to be fair to people who don't like cats a lot of those people have grown up around like really mean cats. Yeah. Yes. I think it can either be that or you're allergic to them. If you're allergic to them, I'm sorry for you. And that's sad. I think one interpretation could be a need for being loved by like needing

acceptance from the people in your life. Sometimes cats will make you feel like shit. Sometimes cats make you feel Really bad or More I guess that dogs Always make you feel really good Like dogs are pretty Across the board friendly Joel has said dogs

Cat dogs are what people Wish people were like Cats is what people are like Yeah you know cats are fickle complicated yeah they have their own needs perfect

so god damn so cute I'll send you guys a video this morning of Theo and Mabel grooming each other oh so cute and then they started fighting which which is like, you know, that's, ain't that just the way it goes? Thank God.

Mabel really acclimated so well. She's living her best life. Guys, send us your cat videos. Send us your cat videos. Send us videos of your pets. Spooky season is over. I can't believe it. But it's spooky season all year long here

at Too Scary to Watch yeah and we'll never have to do this movie again we did it we crossed it off our list and we will never do another movie he ever does and I hope he never makes another movie and I can't say that

he's gone from my reality i've wiped him i'm wiped which i won't like i did not feel that way about eli roth i mean i didn't i felt angry at eli roth but like i'll watch other eli roth movies i mean obviously you won me back a little bit with knock knock which was of course of course you And he cares about sharks. What does Rob Jubaas care about? I don't know. And I don't want to know. I don't fucking want to know. Rob.

Rob. Really, really playing out the end of this episode as if no one is listening. And I hope that's the case. Yeah, let's wrap it up. Let's end this horrible, horrible episode. I'm so sorry. Roll credits. Roll credits. I'm so sorry to everybody. No fucking voices. Fuck this movie. Fuck this movie. We're

so sorry. Sorry, guys. Fuck Rock. It's not us. Fuck Simon. Everybody go home and read your kill hit lists. Yeah, go say them out loud. Pet a cat. Watch a cat movie. And fucking we'll see you next time, you know? We'll see you next time from all of us here at Too Scary to Watch.

Just a good old fashioned goodbye. Goodbye. Bye. Thank you so much for listening to another episode of Too Scary Didn't Watch. If you like the show, please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and give us a rating, a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. You can follow us on social media at TSDW Podcast on Instagram and Twitter. And if one episode a week just is not enough for you, head on over to patreon.com slash TSDW Podcast to become a patron and receive all sorts of extra goodies from us, including bonus episodes, trailer reactions, and more.

And no matter what, we will see you right here next week for another episode. We love you so much. Bye!