Too Scary; Didn't Watch - THE THING

Episode Date: April 8, 2020

Paranoia, a spectacular hat, and a group of husky dogs that will probably be totally fine - we're recapping John Carpenter's 1982 classic The Thing! Grab a hot toddy or drink some whisky straight out of the bottle and join us as we chat about our most requested quarantine film. Kurt Russell is our north star and will get us through this strange time. Follow the show: @TSDWpodcast on Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram. Check out our Patreon for bonus episodes and additional content! Rate Too Scary; Didn’t Watch 5 Stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Emily, Henley, and Sammy. Advertise on Too Scary; Didn't Watch via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is Emily, Henley, and Sammy, and you're listening to Too Scary, Didn't Watch. Hi, everyone. Welcome to Too Scary, Didn't Watch, the horror movie recap podcast for those too scared to watch for themselves. I'm Emily. I'm too scared to watch scary movies. I'm Henley and I'm also too scared to watch scary movies. I'm Sammy and I like watching scary movies. I any second now I'm going to sneeze and I keep thinking it's going to happen mid-sentence and we there's just no way to know but it is creeping up um can't wait how are we doing how are we doing my friends i know we scary happened yeah i know we didn't want to phrase it if anything scary happened to us but something scary did happen to me this morning oh my god tell us i opened my bathroom door i keep it closed in

the night because i have two cats and they get up to no good whenever there's an open door. This morning I opened it and there was a cockroach, only the outside of a cockroach. It was missing all of its internal parts. It's like an exoskeleton? Skeleton, yeah. It's like an exoskeleton. It's just a cockroach skeleton, yeah. So I guess my cats must have killed it and then eaten its insides and then batted it under that bathroom door for me to find later. What a gift.

It's a gift for later. Wow, a gift for later, a little present. That's how you know they love you so much, Sammy. Nasty, nasty little freak. How big was it? A big guy. He was a full size. Big enough to scoop out a belly and leave the rest. Yeah. Big enough that

I could see what was missing. You can't do that with a small one. Sammy, do you ever go to the bathroom in the middle of the night? No. You know what? I don't. And it's an interesting thing some people do a few times in the night. I feel like when I lived with Jenna, I would notice like, oh, she gets up to go to the bathroom in the night.

And I just never do. I don't know why that is. I don't know if this is interesting for people to hear. I've heard that you can train your body to not like if every time you get up in the middle of the night, you go to the bathroom, then your body will start waking you up to go. If every time you get up in the middle of the night, you go to the bathroom, then your body will start waking you up to go. But sometimes you do, sometimes you don't. But I mainly just asked because if it were dark and I was going to my bathroom and the door were shut, I would not like that one bit personally. Yeah, no, I don't get up in the night. I also never get up during movies in movie theaters.

I never have to pee in movies. I turn my that part of my body off. I am like, this is what's always have to be during a movie. I never don't have to pee during a movie. I always have to pee at least once during a movie because my brain is like doing that, you know, telling me I can't. So immediately. Exactly. The second I'm like, you won't be able to.

It's all I it's all I can do. All I can think about. All I can't. So immediately I want to. Exactly. The second I'm like, you won't be able to, it's all I can do. All I can think about. All I can think about. Well, good to know. Everyone's peeing schedule. I do pee in the middle of the night just so we're all on the same page. Kelly, did you know you can train your body to not pee?

I remember before I went to because in high school I went to a boarding school and I remember one of the things I was worried about was peeing in the middle of the night. I went to, because in high school, I went to a boarding school. And I remember one of the things I was worried about was like peeing in the middle of the night. I was like, am I going to have to, how far is the bathroom? Is that going to be okay? Am I going to be able to leave my room? I remember being worried about that.

And was it okay? It was, believe me, the least of my worries when I got there. I don't remember what happened but it was fine um I guess something kind of scary happened to me this week yeah um besides the fact besides living through a global pandemic um besides that um Tim my fiance got stung by a bee and we didn't think anything of it because he's been stung by bees in the past and like you know was totally fine not allergic. Happens. Bees are around. Bees are around. Bees are a thing.

And it was just like a standard honeybee. Not a wasp. Not anything crazy. You saw it happen. Oh yeah. I saw it happen. We were in a garden. He got stung and we didn't think anything of it and then like 12 hours later his hand exploded. Not exploded.

Twist. Burying the lead. So casual. Anyway, my fiance's hand exploded this week. It spontaneously combusted. No, it just got very, very swollen. And he woke up the next day in so much pain, and it was so swollen, and it was horrible. Everything we read online said that there's nothing we could do. Like anaphylactic shock doesn't, like happens right away. They're very,

very rare cases, it can happen up to 48 hours later but those are extremely rare and um like basically all you can do is wait it out um but then the next day it was really swollen still and he was not he not feeling well and um the swelling was going up his arm and it was like in his elbow and um he like couldn't get up he felt so sick like nauseous yeah and like his heart was racing and it was really bad so then we called kaiser and the woman the nurse on the phone was like you have to go to urgent care right away so tim had to go to urgent care for a goddamn bee sting in the middle of a fucking global pandemic. Oh my god. That's unfortunate. Which was not ideal.

But luckily, urgent care was pretty empty. I think people are avoiding going there right now. So they gave him some very strong antibiotics and the swelling has gone down significantly and he's doing a lot better. So all good news on that front. They gave him some very strong antibiotics and the swelling has gone down significantly and he's doing a lot better. So all good news on that front. But yeah, bee stings can be bad, guys. Yeah, that's pretty scary. It was scary, but we're through it.

Emily, anything scary on your end? I mean, aside from the pandemic, not really. The rat is still here for those keeping up. Oh, the rat. I did name him, and I do believe it is him for no reason, but I named him. And do you want to know what his name is? I sure do. I'm going to tell us. Ratatouille?

It's not Ratatouille. It's Eben. Oh, I love it. It really makes me laugh. His name is Eben, which is short for Ebenezer as far as my rat is concerned. Yes. Honestly, naming him has made me like him more. Yeah. Oh, Eben.

He's such a cutie. When he's being loud, I'll be like, I'll say to the wall, Eben, Eben, that's too loud. And it doesn't change a thing but it feels better for me to the point where like i still want him gone but i now i think i'll be sad so jokes on me um i'm attached to the rat in my walls i feel like that's a headline i'm gonna read in the coming weeks is like quarantine update i'm attached to the rat in my walls. There's going to be like an opinion piece in the New York Times.

I'm going to write it. Well, I guess another scary thing that happened to me this week, not really, but sort of, is I watched the goddamn movie. You sure did. Full disclosure, I'd already seen it, but it's been several years, so that's why I was like i can i

can do this one it's one of my my boyfriend's very favorite movies so i knew i'd have a partner to watch it with i wouldn't be alone important the movie is the thing came out in 1982 directed by john carpenter screenplay by bill laster. And story by John Campbell. Starring Kurt Russell, Wilfred Brimley, T.K. Carter, David Clennon. There's a lot of people in this movie, guys. Sorry. Keith David, Richard Dysart, Charles Hallahan, Peter Maloney, Richard Masser, Donald Moffat, Joel Polis, Thomas Waits. That is the full list.

Is it Tom Waits or Thomas Waits? It's not. It is a different person named Thomas Waits. Damn. I know. Real bummer. But yeah, a very young, a 31-year-old Kurt Russell. I bet he's hot in it.

Oh, he's so hot. Oh, he's hot. Yeah, he's great. it oh he's so hot um he's oh he's hot yeah he's great he's fucking kurt russell i mean what a star i love him emily when was the first time you saw this movie i saw this movie probably like four years ago at a friend a friend gathering um i think it was probably around halloween and we were we wanted to watch a scary movie and i think this was determined to be the scariest one i could handle so the group selected this one um and yeah it's like it is i would say a horror movie but it is not a very scary movie it's very good and it is truly perfect for this moment because it is

they're isolated but also another element is there's like a virus component and like a paranoia and like who has it who doesn't how do you know and so it certainly took on new meaning for me watching it

this was one of the most requested ones when we asked what do you want to hear during a quarantine? There was a lot of the thing being requested. It's so good. It's so good. It's so much fun to watch. I have also seen it, though

it's been about 10 years, so it's going to be kind of like seeing it or hearing about it for the first time. I have no I know literally nothing about it. I'm starting with a complete blank blank slate i didn't even know that it was about paranoia or there being a virus and what i don't understand there's all sorts of layers um another thing that i remembered is that the thing remake is the reason that I started becoming obsessed with Mary Elizabeth Winstead. Okay.

We solved it. Hi, everybody. It is cocktail hour. And this week's cocktail is a hot toddy because Kurt Russell's character in this movie loves his whiskey. And it's set in Antarctica, which is very cold. To make a hot toddy, you'll need one and a half ounces of blended scotch whiskey, a quarter an ounce of fresh lemon juice, a quarter an ounce of honey syrup, a sixth an ounce of simple syrup,

and two ounces of boiling water. You'll just combine all ingredients into a mug and stir. You can garnish with some cloves, a cinnamon stick, and a lemon slice. Whatever you got. If you don't have any of those things, you can just drink your whiskey straight out of the bottle like our good old protagonist, MacReady. Cheers. I've got some trivia. Okay, great. John Carpenter said that this is his favorite of his films that he has made. He also made Halloween, Escape from New York, and probably my favorite of his films is Big Trouble in Little China.

When this movie came out, it was very poorly reviewed. That's interesting. It came out the same day as Blade Runner, which was also poorly reviewed at the time. And they've both gone on to become huge classics that we're still talking about today. So jokes on you, box office of 1982. Jokes on you, box office of 1982. Jokes on you Box office of 1982 Guys can you believe I still haven't sneezed

I can't I'm on the edge of my seat this whole time I'm not going to be able to relax Until you sneeze Get ready One thing that I thought was interesting The composer Ennio Morricone Who's very famous,

he's done many, many scores. Very famous. I was surprised that he scored this. But he, for this movie, got awarded a Razzie because, again, people did not like this movie. And then some of the unused music that he composed for

this movie was then used in Quentin Tarantino's hateful eight and he won an oscar for it and he and morricone won an oscar for it yes for music he composed for the movie that he won a razzie for so he won a razzie and an oscar for music he composed for the thing that's cool pretty interesting i thought pretty interesting a trivia that i liked um this film is considered a benchmark in special effects makeup so their special effects makeup is fucking rad and the person who did them the person who created the effects his name is rob botan botine i don't know whatever and he was 22 when he did this movie 22 what a what a start to his career did he go on to do more things no fucking clue let me see uh oh my god yesterday was his birthday happy birthday rob um oh he worked on seven oh um oh he's worked on game of thrones

charlie's angels fight club all sorts he's had a career good for you rob i imagine if you start off with a thing that's a pretty good sign wait fuck? He didn't start off with the thing. He started working in 1976, which means he was... Like 17? 17? Okay. Now he's just showing off.

Now he's just showing off. He was an assistant makeup artist. But holy hell. Okay, Rob, we see you. Wow. We see you. Making me feel real lazy. Oof, yeah. I actually don't love it go to hell rob um it's straight to jail okay go straight to jail um i don't know if this trailer is gonna be

any good it's an age trailer so it probably is we'll see 100 000 years ago it found its way into our galaxy. Trapped in the frozen wasteland of Antarctica, it could not escape. Now, the men of Station 4 have made a monumental discovery. An alien creature had frozen. But not to death. and man it isn't benning is the warmest place to hide i'm ready take it away take it away okay start i used to love back to school shopping so much that i would tell my mom that i wanted to work at Staples when I grew up because I just loved getting all the things that I needed that I would use every day in class.

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slash too scary to get 30% off your first customized bundle and a full-size freebie product of your choice. That's hellobello.com slash too scary to start bundling with 30% off your first order. Don't forget, that HelloBello.com slash TooScary. We see a dog, a husky dog. Oh, I don't like it. No. Don't worry about it. Is that dog going to die? I don't know. Is this the beginning of 30 Days of Night? Because it

sounds similar. Oh no, did I accidentally watch 30 Days of Night? So, yes, we see this dog running and a helicopter flying behind it we're in the snow white white white snow nobody out there i don't know that they ever actually say it maybe they do but like we're definitely in antarctica we're in the it's yeah so we see this helicopter flying after this dog um and the person in the helicopter is trying to shoot the dog as it's running. We cut to a sign that tells us we are at the United

States National Science Institute Station 4. And so we cut in and we see we learn there are 12 men here, but we see them, some are playing ping pong, they've got

like a lounge room situation. It's like clearly a base. A little game room. Yeah, they've got a little game room. Some guys are playing ping pong. A man cave. A man cave, if you will. Yeah, because there are no women in this movie.

There's no women in this film. Even the dog was a boy. Even the dog was a boy. Even the dog was a boy. We see Kurt Russell, whose character name is MacReady. Okay. MacReady is his name, but they call him Mac a lot. They all go by their last names.

Obviously, men stuff. Mac is drinking whiskey and playing Chess Wizard, a computer game. He's all smug. He thinks he won, and then the computer beats him, and it's just a fun moment for me. Like, Matt, damn it. I hate this fucking computer. Getting a little bit of character development.

He's kind of a little bit of a renegade. Then the helicopter approaches. They hear it come outside so they all go out to like look and see what's happening someone says it says nor on the side of the helicopter um so they realize it's norwegian from the helicopter they start he starts throwing like grenades down to try to get the to kill the dog to all the americans are like what the what the fuck is happening they land a helicopter the man. All the Americans are like, what the fuck is happening? They land in a helicopter.

The man gets out on foot and starts chasing after the dog, shooting the dog. The dog like runs up to the US camp. The Norwegian, in the one truly pretty comical moment of this up top, he has a grenade in his hand

and he goes to throw it at the dog and instead it like, when he pulls his hand back it throws it behind him into the towards the helicopter and blows the helicopter up. Oh no.

And so the dog finally makes it to like the US our crew the base the Norwegian starts shouting at them in Norwegian. They don't know what he's saying. We start shouting at them and shooting at them because he's trying to get the U.S., our crew. The base. The Norwegian starts shouting at them. In Norwegian, they don't know what he's saying. We start shouting at them and shooting at them because he's trying to get the dog.

Eventually shoots the dog in the leg, I think, and shoots one of our characters. Bennings is his name. Should I go over everybody's names? There are so many of them. No, maybe not. The only person I think I actually know is Kurt Russell. I probably can't keep track of 12 character names. Hell no.

And it doesn't matter. It's fine. The dog comes up to one of them, starts licking him. The Norwegian shoots the dog and the guy, Bennings, but only in his leg or something. He's fine. Okay. But Gary, who

we come to understand is the leader or what do you call him? Captain? I don't know. I don't know. Captain? Something like that. Whatever. Top cop?

Chief. He's our top cop. He is still inside the base and from the window shoots at the Norwegian right in the head, kills him. So they go up and investigate the helicopters like on fire bring the norwegian guy inside and they're like what the hell that was that was wild why'd that happen we cut to inside the base uh a character whose name this is easy doc he's a doctor there are two doctors on board um they just wait this guy just gets called Doc. I feel like

Sammy I want you to guess like five other names of the other characters I know one of them is Windows because I read a trivia that said Mac and Windows but this was pre Macintosh time so it's just a coincidence

oh it's just a coincidence I'm gonna say like Johnny or Benny. There's got to be some like with a Y at the end. Well, there's Gary, who I mentioned. The last name Gary, G-A-R-R-Y. Henley, you guess. Like Bowser. Nope.

Kevin. Nope. I said their last names. Oh, Kevin. Nope. I said their last names. Oh, John. We've got Jackson. Smithy. Fuck. I was really thinking we were going to guess some of them.

They're all going to sound like we should have guessed them once we hear them. They're not. Here's what they are. Ready? Yes. Yeah. Let's do it. McCready, which, you know, Mac.

Uh-huh. Blair. Knowles. Palmer. Knowles. Palmer. Childs. Doc, whose name is also Copper, so sometimes they call him Cop. Norris. Bennings.

Clark. Gary. Fuchs. Windows. You would not have guessed that. Windows would never have guessed in a million years. Never heard of anyone with the last name windows windows never never heard that in my life could just be his i don't think it's

his last name i think it's his nickname because he wears glasses a hat dork um so anyway those are their names uh back inside the base doc is giving bennings some stitches he's he's when i got shot in the leg and bennings is like what the hell was he doing why was he shooting at a dog why was he why would he do that and he was like i don't know probably just cabin fever cut to blair is asking windows windows is in like the control room i guess he is our radio guy communications you know how we all have a radio guy uh communications yep so blair is asking windows to try to get a hold of someone on the radio guy. Communications. You know how we all have a radio guy? Communications. Yep. So Blair is asking Windows to try to get a hold of someone on the

radio to report what happened and Windows is like, I haven't been able to reach anyone in two weeks. I'm not going to be able to reach anyone now. So we're getting the feeling that they are a little bit isolated. Okay. So finally they decide can relate. The group decides

they should check out the Norwegian camp and see if they can get any information on what happened by going to the Norwegian's camp. Because they figure one guy in the helicopter died when it got blown up and they shot the other guy. And they're like, they had a crew. Somehow they know that they had a crew of 10. They're like, there should be eight guys left. Let's go and see what's up. What could go wrong? So MacReady, what could go wrong?

Mac is a pilot. That is his job. Okay. So, and we get the feel that he, the guys, they respect him. I mean, he's Kurt Russell. He's cool. He's got a beard. He's fun.

So he pilots and Doc goes with him. And in the meantime, we sort of get a feel for everybody else so they go off um knolls is i i guess our chef he's constantly rollerblading which is fun oh um and in the meanwhile so the dog that uh that was getting shot at they bring it into their camp with them it's like a little husky dog they They have other husky dogs. But what if they were trying to kill it for a reason? Well, I don't know. Probably weren't. No, that hasn't crossed anyone's mind yet.

No, no, no. This is just a good dog. We see the dog wandering through the base, just sort of like walking around and he pokes his head into some rooms and keeps going, keeps going. Acting pretty much like a dog, but know like you know taking his time poking around we see him walk into a room that someone is in we see some a man's shadow um the dog walks into

the room but that's all we see cut two we're at the norwegian camp and guess what it doesn't look good there's not eight people there there are not eight people there? There are not eight people there, no. It is completely deserted, been destroyed. It's been empty, it seems, for a while because it's like got, like as if it's been like blown up in places, but it's also got icicles hanging, like it's like already frozen over.

They are walking around, poking around, trying to explore and see what the deal is. Doc finds a, looks down in the snow and sees a trail of blood leading us to a frozen body. A man sitting in a chair with his neck, his throat slashed. Looks as though he did it himself. No, no, no. And he is frozen. He looks pretty gnarly.

They find some, like, paperwork and some tapes from the Norwegians there, and they're like, well, let's just bring these back and see. I mean, it's in Norwegian, but, like, maybe we can discern something from it. Mac, meanwhile, calls Doc over. He finds a

big rectangle, like, calls Doc over. He finds a big rectangle, like essentially a huge ice block that looks like it's been dug into. Like as if something was like dug up or excavated. They're like they find like a fossil. That's like the look of it. But there's nothing in there. It's just been dug up. Right. Is that where the thing came from?

I don't know. What thing? Maybe. Don't give it away. Don't guess. Don't guess. Don't ask. Don't ask me questions, please. So then they walk out,

and they're like, okay, well, let's head back to our camp, because they also were on a time limit because there was going to be a winter storm coming in. So we got to get back to camp. Always a storm. Or a base. I don't know what to call it. Whatever. Base.

It's a base. Yeah. Yeah, base. Base camp. Both works. Great. A science station. Science station.

As they go out to get back in their helicopter, I guess they go around the place to a different way than they came in. And they see some charred remains. Oh, man. They've been burned. They are just way charred out. Super charred out. And they say like is this human?

They're not sure but something got burned up so they decided to bring it back. As you do. Cut to their it's like wrapped up in a blanket or whatever and they unfurl it on the table of their like medical room I

suppose. And everyone is in there gathered around and we get a look at it and it is nasty it is like a bloody gooey mass of like bones and muscles and any particular form or just like a blob what a good question um it at so at the top there is a face that is screaming and also looks like melted like like its face is like melted and screaming in half um yeah it It looks really bad. It's bad. And it looks like... Did you ever go to...

Remember the bodies exhibit that was going around in museums for a while and there's tumors and stuff on display? Yeah, I do. It looks like just a mass of cells. And there clearly are some arms, there's that face but then the rest of it is just like like someone's

insides turned out but then yeah yeah but but also unclear okay it should be okay so they ask Blair who is the we have Dr. Cooper who they call Doc and then Dr. Blair who they call Blair so they ask Blair to perform

an autopsy and they're like, let's figure out what the fuck this thing is. Meanwhile, the dog is standing in the corner staring. Ooh, you hate that. It's fine. Cut to Gary, who's wearing a really fun, bright

blue, like, terrycloth robe for no reason. He's just in a robe all of a sudden he comes up to windows who's in the comms room and he's like have you reached anyone and uh and windows goes reach anyone we're a thousand miles from nowhere man it's gonna get a hell of a lot worse before it gets any better which is a fun line anyway char out man char out man um so yeah there's turnout over there and um blair does the autopsy and he is like the it has a completely normal set of internal organs whatever this is normal okay great are there like wait does it have limbs are there limbs involved there are definitely some

limbs in the mix um i don't know mostly torso mostly head ones it would be hard to discern what its form is or should be like maybe it should just be called the thing it could be called the thing potentially you could be called the thing, potentially. You could call it the thing if you want it. That'd be a vague enough term for sure. It would be vague. It might be vague enough to encompass any possibility. So, then they're all sitting, watching TV, hanging out, you know, in their little game room or whatever. The dog's in there.

The dog walks under their little, they have like a poker table that some of them are sitting at. The dog walks under and I guess maybe like nips at Bennings or whatever. The dog's in there. The dog walks under there a little. They have like a poker table that some of them are sitting at. The dog walks under and I guess maybe like nips at Bennings or bites. I don't know. Bennings goes like, ah! And then he says, Clark. Clark's the guy who I guess his job is he deals with the dogs. He goes, Clark, get that dog and put him with the other dogs. Put him with the other mutts.

And Clark's like, okay. Clark puts it into the cage. It's like big cage with a bunch of other dogs, husky dogs. The dog and Joel, who I watched this with, would really want me to point out in this moment what good dog acting it is. The dog like slowly. I like how you say the dog and Joel. The dog also would really want to be recognized in the podcast. They would both want this to be pointed out.

The dog slowly walks into the room, lays down, and just stares straight ahead. It is being a dog, but in a very, like, I

am a dog way, which is impressive. Bravo. So it's just down. He locks the cage, walks away. As soon as Clark leaves, the other dogs start absolutely freaking out. Like backing away from this dog that just came in and like starting to sort of scream and being like, they know that something's fucking up. and being like they know that something's fucking up and then we watch this fucking dog transform is the right word but like it like rips open gooey bloody tendon freaky things start like

bursting out of it it's just like like spidery and like tendon-y. And it starts like attacking all the other dogs. I do not like this one little bit. I don't like it at all. No, you would not. You would not. So it's loud.

So they all start coming back and being like, what the fuck is happening? What's this commotion? They all come in. They see this happening. Gary starts shooting. Shooting the big alien thing.

It's not really working. Starts shooting the dogs because they're getting attacked by this thing. Then Childs, we haven't had a ton of interaction with yet, but Childs comes in with a flamethrower and torches it oh yeah um okay okay so they

torch this alien dog thing hell yeah end of the movie end of the movie roll the end um cut to we we bring this you know burned alien dog corpse thing in. Blair does another autopsy. He's loving his job right now. Wow. Thank God they have someone to do these autopsies. Thank God. Thank God.

So he does an autopsy. And this is where we learn essentially what the thing is. So he tells us the thing, it replicates dna perfectly so what it does is it will attack something and essentially like absorbs them and then replicates their dna so it becomes that spooky spooky um so what they say is they're like we caught that so like in the autopsy you see like a dog face inside of the ale like it was trying to replicate these other dogs so it would have become all the dogs essentially if they hadn't caught it happening blair quickly asks clark um blair's went into the autopsy.

Clark was the one who is he deals with the dogs, I guess, is his job. He was like, Clark, how long were you alone with that dog? Oh, boy. And Clark's like, I don't know, like an hour, hour and a half, maybe. Why? And Blair goes, probably nothing. Nothing at all. And it's like, buddy, come on. We know something is up.

So it's already planting the seed of like, okay. Suspicion. Suspicion. We can't really know. So then they watched the footage that they took from the Norwegians. They took a tape from them and they are watching it. Obviously, it's all Norwegians. They don't fully understand what's being said, but they do see them excavating something

from the ice. There's like footage of them chopping away at the ice and trying to bring something up out of it. Okay. They pull up on a map where they were doing their excavations and they're like, okay, we got to go to this. Now, we've already been to their camp, but, we got to go to this. Now we already went to their like camp, but we've got to go to their excavation site and see if we've learned

anything from that. So Mac McCready, Gary and Norris go on another little helicopter ride to the excavation site. And apparently there is a commentary. You can watch commentary of the movie with John Carpenter and Kurt Russell and at this point Kurt Russell is wearing a crazy hat

that I'll have to show you guys it is like it's like an Indiana Jones hat mixed with a lady's sun hat mixed with a bucket hat I love it it is like on the top it's like cowboy hat like but then it. It is like on the top is a cowboy

hat like but then it's very like floppy and fabric-y and every single side folds up to the middle. It's a really spectacular hat and apparently at this point in the commentary Kurt Russell says this is

a scene about a hat. So he gets it that's a good reminder that it would be really fun to watch movies with commentary it's like the DVD extras I know I never think to do it but I bet it's so fun if it's a movie you like know well and love I mean who wouldn't want to watch

I want to watch Kurt Russell talk about this movie am I in love with Kurt Russell I guess I am his son is also hot why russell i bet he is hot what's what's his deal um you'd recognize him he's in he's in some stuff i can't think of the names of it he was in an episode of black mirror directed by the director of 10 cloverfield lane called play test it's it's the scariest episode of black mirror i've seen play test i don't want to watch it even at all. I'll read the Wikipedia about it.

So he's wearing his fun hat. They get to this, like, huge crater in the ice. They're like, oh, this is, you know, this is spot. They rappel down to the center and there's, like, an alien spaceship there. It looks pretty clearly like a big alien spaceship. I think they bring some pieces back. They either bring pieces back or they're just telling them about it.

And they're like, there was an alien ship there. Whatever this thing is, it's an alien. Childs, one of our characters, who he and Mac have a bit of a power struggle,

it seems. They're probably both about the same level or rank here they don't totally see eye to eye um so childs is like he says he doesn't believe any of this voodoo bullshit and he keeps being like come on you guys don't really believe that and mcgrady's like i don't know what to fucking tell you man yeah it there something is i mean like you saw what's happened like something is up um so their theory becomes that the norwegians found uh the spaceship with quote-unquote the thing like frozen in some form there dug it up allowed it to thaw and then it took over and like killed them and

maybe i think the guy who had like slit his throat it looked like was maybe killing himself to not be taken by the thing. Right. Somehow the Norwegians figured out that this was happening but most of them died and then the other two died at the beginning of the movie. They killed them. They killed them. So then Knowles our chef

roller skates on in and reprimands someone. He goes, one of y'all is leaving your dirty drawers in the kitchen trash can that's nasty don't do that and like throws them on the table they are it's like long johns that are kind of like torn up yeah um meanwhile blair has run created some sort of computer simulation um of how thinks the DNA replication works with the thing. And it's a very, very 80s little like computer thing and like a little dot moves and takes over another dot and then it moves and takes over another dot. afterwards that the probability that one or more team members may be infected by intruder organism is 75%. Not good.

Not, you hate to see it. I don't like those odds. You hate those odds. We see then Mac drinking whiskey from the bottle. He loves to drink that whiskey. He's always got his bottle of whiskey with him. He has those, the long johns that Knowles had thrown in. He's like holding them and looking at them.

Then Bennings and Windows come get him to help them. I know these names are insane. Windows. I'm sorry. They are taking the corpse, the charred out remains they took from the Norwegians and they're like locking them up, locking the remains away.

And Windows says like, shouldn't we burn it? And Bennings goes, well, this is the scientific find of the century. This is going to win somebody a Nobel Prize. We can't burn it. That's the thing I feel like in these kinds of movies a lot

where they're like, didn't that happen in Alien 2 where they're like, well, we got to bring it back. Yeah. And it's like, well, no. You're not going to make it back. You're not going to make it back. So while they're doing this, Fuchs, another person who I feel like hasn't appeared until this moment, but he's also there. Fuchs is another doctor maybe

but not as high ranking a doctor is there a Fuchs and Barry? yeah me too there is a Fuchs and Barry but not the same two very different types of men are you sure? pretty sure pretty sure Fuchs

comes in and is like Mac I need to talk to you privately let's go outside and Mac's like it's fucking freezing outside and he's mac i need to talk to you privately uh let's go outside and max gets fucking freezing outside and he's like i need to talk to you outside okay so go outside um he tells mac that there is he thinks there's something wrong with blair blair's the one who had done the autopsies he's like blair's locked himself in his room. He won't come out. Fuchs was able to take his notebooks and his notebooks have a theory that Blair has has come up with, which claim that the burned remains are not completely dead yet. And anyone left alone with them is still at risk. Wow.

What a theory. What a fast theory. What a fast theory. What a fast theory. Cut to Windows and Bennings were just moving the charred out body into the room. And I guess Windows left for some reason. He comes back in. And where the corpse was. No, sorry.

He looks in and sees on a chair Bennings' vest and some torn up clothes. And they're all covered in like a red mucusy blood situation. And he's like, oh, that's not good. Turns around in the corner. Bennings is purple faced, cords wrapped around his neck. Like actively being attacked by a thing. Oh no. So he runs. To get Mac and Fuchs.

Who are outside. He's like come on come on come on. They come back into the room. And he's no longer there. Not a good sign. No not a good sign. So they run around the base. Everyone tries to find him.

They find him. He's out in the snow this is a great scene he's kneeling on the snow they all surround him and they're like nobody touch him nobody touch him nobody touch him he turns around and looks at them and he looks just like him except that he has two crazy

spindly freaky alien hands oh no and he turns to them and opens his mouth and goes what? and has this like alien scream um and Mac knocks over some kerosene onto him

throws a flare and burns him up. Hell yeah. They have this moment where um Mac's like if we hadn't seen this happening if we had waited like three more minutes before we found him, that thing would have looked and sounded exactly like Benning's. We would have had no idea. Right. This thing could have any of us already and we have no way of knowing.

Like seeing it happen to a person in real time in front of them was like, fuck. So this is when things really amp up in terms of their paranoia yep yep sounds about right so they come back in and blair is axing the control room and breaking everything uh we learn that while they were dealing with bennings he had already chopped up the helicopter and their tractor so all their means of escape. And he's destroying the control room. And we hear him saying,

as he's doing it, nobody's getting out of here. Nobody. So he's the one who had these notebooks. He has figured out that the thing could have any of them. happens fast they have no way of knowing its goal is to take over all of them and so he's like you know what we're shutting this

whole thing down uh it might get us but nobody's getting out like it ends quarantine quarantine baby um but they're all like blair fucking like they're like not happy with him making this choice they manage to you know get him under control but he's already done all this damage they lock him away in the tool shed because they're like well he's crazy

so they bring him into the tool shed they like pop him with some morphine and like sit him down in a chair. The tool shed locks from the outside. So he can't get in or out. So they put him in there. And as he's as Mac is leaving him in there, Blair says, watch Clark and watch him close. Clark is the guy.

Yeah. Clark was with those doggies. The guy that Blair had suspected early on. So at this point, Mac is like, okay, we need to come up with a test so we can try to figure out if there's a way to see who's human and who's

not. We need to know. So Doc's like, well, I came up with a test that I think would work. What we have to do, I've thought of a blood serum test so what we do Is if we take everyone's Blood mix each person's blood With a little bit of like known

Uncontaminated blood And see if there's a reaction Except I don't know Like the blood would start trying to Replicate the other blood or something Yes If it's like normal human blood mixed with this other blood, there wouldn't be a reaction. Otherwise, it would like try to like start replicating it.

Replicate that DNA. Exactly. I'm a scientist. So they're like, great. Yes, you're a scientist. Perfect. They're like, great. Perfect test.

And they, you know, they have blood in storage that they brought with them because, you know, like for medical purposes. They're out here on the space. So they're like, great, we have some blood. Let's go find it. Well, they know where it is. Let's go get it. Let's not go find it. We know where it is. Where's that blood that we hid?

Where did they put all that blood? Time for the blood scavenger hunt. The first things we do when we get here is put blood around. I knew I'd misplace all the blood. Time for the blood scavenger hunt. The first things we do when we get here is put blood around. I knew I'd misplace all the blood. So they go to the blood storage freezer and guess what happened? It's gone? It's all

spilled. Somebody slashed all the bags and it's all spilled on the ground. They can't use it. Gosh dang it. So now they all start really freaking out and they're like, who had access to this? Who could have done like,

and they determine the only two people who had access were Gary and Doc himself. As far as they know. And both of them are like, I think I'm still human. Like, I don't know. Like, I don't, I didn't get still human. I didn't get in here. I don't know what happened. But now they're all freaking out.

They're all pointing fingers. They're starting to get really, really, really amped. And while they're all sort of freaking out and blaming each other and pointing fingers, Windows, my man Windows, runs out of the room and down the hall to a like glass case where there are a bunch of shotguns and like breaks the case grabs a shotgun and is grabbing ammunition um they all come out after him Gary points a gun out to

him and is like put the shotgun down and he's freaking out um windows is like like we're just gonna listen to him it could be he could be the thing like I don't know who to trust. But he does finally put the shotgun down. Gary was holding the gun to him.

And he puts his gun down. And he says, he's like, I'm telling you, I didn't go into the to get that blood. I am telling you, I am human. But. I probably like you all probably feel, but I probably, like, you'll all probably feel calmer if you put somebody else in charge. So, like, I'm relinquishing my gun, somebody else in charge,

and Childs is like, well, I'll do it. And then none of them want that, because Childs is like a hothead. He's the one earlier who was calling it voodoo bullshit. And so then it comes down to Mac. Of course it does.

Yeah. So we decide that Mac is in charge. Mac picks up the gun. He is the captain now. Does he say that out loud? He says it out loud in an accent that's uncharacteristic for his character um it's very strange um you won't get it until 30 years later um so oh what a stupid joke um okay it's like not even a joke it's not even a joke it It's not even a joke. It's just a stupid thing that I said. Okay. They take the

empty bags of blood now. They burn them. I guess the rule of thumb here is when in doubt, just burn everything. Sure. I guess maybe you're getting rid of DNA that it could replicate. Yeah. Just in case. They're burning it. Also, they're cold and they're looking to get a little

warmed up. And they're cold. It's very cold out. It's cold outside. So as they're all, they're looking to get a little warm and they're cold it's very cold out um it's cold outside so as they're all they're like standing in a circle around this burning of blood and mac is giving a speech and he's saying you know i he was like i know i'm human and i know that some of you have to still be human too because otherwise you'd come out and attack me for burning this blood because this thing it he's like it wants to hide right it it doesn't want to make itself known because then it's vulnerable

it wants to stay hidden so it can slowly take us over right so we need to we need to figure out who's who because we just have to figure out who's who this we just have to figure out who's who. This speech is better than what I'm saying.

It's a good speech. It sounds pretty good to me. I'm feeling inspired. It's inspiring. It's good. So. Well, it's him reaching out an olive branch, kind of trying to maybe suppress some of the growing paranoia that's happening amongst the group. And it's Kurt Russell, so anything

he says is comforting. And it's Kurt Russell, so we're on board. We're on board. So his new plan, he's like, okay, Clark, Doc, and Gary, we need to tie them up and give them some morphine, tie them up, while we come up with a new test. Because they're

seemingly the three most likely to be the thing at this point because Clark was with the dogs and Doc and Gary were the only two who had access to the blood so he's like let's just tie them all up now he's saying okay it's gonna fall to Fuchs who I guess is also a doctor and he's like Fuchs you gotta come up with a new

test so Fuchs is like away in his little lab coming up with a test those guys are tied up everyone else is sort of just like and like very anxious but sort of hanging tight mccready is in uh i guess his room um recording on a tape recorder like what's been happening and he says you know in case i die in case we all die i want there to be some sort of record of what happened. This is where he's holding those long johns again. The ones I got that were torn up.

And he says, I think that when this thing takes you over, it shreds your clothes up. So he's sort of on to something. Mm-hmm. Then, guess what?

What? Power goes out. No! In just the lab, in Fuchs' lab, where he was coming up with the test, the power goes out. Like, a fuse blows just in that zone. So he gets up to go outside to see what

happened. We see a shadow run by him and he goes, OK, who was that? And he goes outside. When he's outside, he sees some shredded clothes and a jacket that says MacReady. Our faithful trustee.Ready. Our faithful trustee. Our star. Our North Star, if you will. Our North Star, if you will. At this point

our North Star realizes that Fuchs is gone and she's like, okay, we need to split up into groups. We need to find him. The Fuchs blew an hour ago. We haven't seen him since. We need to go figure out what happened they split up in teams one team is mac knolls and windows they go follow up and

they go to claire claire blair's tool shed where he's all locked up and they ask him if he's seen fugues he says no i haven't and they're like speaking through him through like a little like window thing. You know how? Yeah, yeah, yeah. A little slot, slidey slot. A little like password window, you know, when you're like trying to get into a speakeasy. You know how when you're trying to do that? Always.

They never let me in. So they're talking to him and they're like, man, I just stand there in that little window. They ask him if he've seen Fugues. And he says no. And then he goes, I'm all better now, guys. Let me come inside. I want to go inside. Oh, no.

I won't harm anyone. Come on, guys. Let me out. And they're like, yeah, no. No, my dude. And they leave him there. Because, of course. If you say so.

Come on back. If you say so. No, they're smart. They leave him there because of course if you say so come on back if you say so no they're smart they leave him there um but then as they're on their way back they find fuchs clothes all burned up fuchs is like burned oh and they're like what happened why how did it burn him what happened so what they think they it appears that fuchs had a flare and burned himself because the thing was maybe someone was coming for him then he determined it was the thing and he burned himself okay so he killed himself he killed himself go back to base tell them all what happened fuchs knolls and i were gonna go up to my shed and they're like why on earth are we going to your

shed and he says because when i left the lights were on or off when i left my shed the lights were off and they look over and the lights are on. Not good. Meanwhile, they're going up to the shed. Everybody in the base is like, OK, we got to board this shit up. Then they like put, you know, wooden planks and they're like nailing them into all the walls and doors and like like nobody can get in or out. Fuck it. We're calling it.

We see Norris at one point. Just one of our characters, a little close up on him. He's in pain. I don't know why. A little bit of a tummy ache. Oh. I don't know. Okay.

Could be anxiety. IBS. Could be anxiety. I think it's anxiety probably. Or IBS. It's one of those. Like, those are our most likely culprits. Yeah, it's definitely one of those. All of a sudden, Nalls comes back in

without MacReady, who he's with. Comes back in all in a panting, and they're like, where's Mac? What's going on? And Nalls is like, I cut him loose. I cut him loose. We were in his place, and in the furnace I saw a shredded up MacReady

jacket. So I cut him loose. I cut him loose. I think he's a thing. They don't want to believe it. But they're also like, you know what? Fuck it. He's staying out. What does he mean? Oh, OK.

Done. We'll let him freeze. I cut him loose. I'm leaving him outside. Yeah. Knowles like ran away from him basically and like ran back into the base. So much for the fearless leader. So much for their fearless leader.

Or is it so much for him? Well, it's Kurt Russell, so he better. It's not. Spoiler alert, I'm going to tell you. He better be there for the rest of the movie. He better be there for the rest of the movie. And he is. They, all of a sudden, he tries to come in, break down the door.

Childs, who we said has not, they have not been on great terms for most of this movie, is holding the flamethrower. Mac is outside the door. Childs is staring at him with the flamethrower. Mac is outside the door. Childs is staring at him with the flamethrower. Mac is trying to get in. And Childs is not trying to let him. And Mac has, though, a huge roll of dynamite and his own flamethrower.

And he goes, if you shoot me, I burn this whole place down. Like, you let me in or I'm blowing everybody up. Good for him. So they really have a choice they let him back in he's standing up for himself he's standing up for himself they let him back in um and i like that kind of confidence in a man he's a very confident man um and he says too he's like anyone could have like taken my jacket and shredded up to like make you think that i'm a thing like I'm not you better let me the fuck in or like I'm blowing you all up

um how easy would it be to like shred up someone's jacket he's a good negotiator in all this hullabaloo um Norris collapses and stops breathing uh oh so they

put him in they bring him to the medical room, they put him on the table. Doc is like giving him CPR, trying to bring him back. That's not working. Takes those, what do you call them? The like, clear.

Little clappers. Chalker things. Defibrillators. Defibrillators. Defib. Anyway, he's doing that. Clear. Nothing. One more time. Clear. anyway he's doing that clear

nothing one more time clear pushes the thing down on his chest Norris's chest splits open down the middle like a big mouth with teeth clamps down

chops both of his hands off I mean eats him his stomach eats him wow No. Clamps down, chops both of his hands off. I mean, eats them. His stomach eats them. Oh my god, he eats them with his chest. It's amazing how... It's amazing what? No, just how these movies are just literally trying to copy Alien, trying to do the shock that

Alien had of the alien... You know what I mean? And in different versions. They're like, chest um just alien really truly that moment is so shocking because he's like he did it once clear cool and they just like shoot through his stomach and it becomes a huge mouth and it's like crazy um and then a like spindly tendon with a head on the top shoots out of his chest.

His neck, his head is separating from his body. It's all opening up and becoming very gooey and tendon-y. It's nasty. And Mac is shooting it all with a flamethrower. Gets it all. Gets the whole body. Gets the thing. It's all on fire.

all gets the whole body gets the thing it's all on fire um we see norris's head separate from his body fall onto the ground um not on fire a long freaky tendon comes out of his mouth and starts like scooting him ahead like along the ground as if it's like a little creature and um the whole thing's on fire and so they're like waiting it out waiting it out finally Mac's like okay cool we can like put it out like use extinguishers and they're like looking around they're like that was crazy okay we're good we're good

we see the head is now under a desk spider legs pop out of either side like freaky long bendy spider legs pop out of either side like freaky long bendy spider legs and so his head his actual head has become the body the like torso of a spider upside down so his upside down head is the body of a spider with legs out the side and it's all bloody and nasty and it starts crawling along the ground it's crawling along the ground behind them.

And they don't see it. And they don't see it. And they don't see it. And then they like hear it. And they all turn around and they see it. And I think one of mine was like, what the fuck? And then they flamethrow it and they get it. I hate this.

I hate all the spider-ness. It's freaky. It's really freaky. Now they're like,'re like alright shit is real we have to do a test uh Mac goes everybody everybody's getting tied up we're tying everybody up

we're gonna go one by one and see who's who I think we have eight left um so he's like everybody gonna get tied up Childs is like fuck no you're not tying me up okay and uh max like i'm gonna tie you up or i'm gonna fucking kill you yeah and holds up a gun to his face and childs goes then kill me and he goes okay i'm not messing around i'm like cocks

the trigger and holds it up and child goes okay i guess you're not messing around and like cocks a trigger and holds it up and Charles goes okay I guess you're not messing around and gives in and goes to be tied up and Clark goes Clark's like I have the dogs it's like guys guys I think we gotta listen to Mac everybody it's fine listen to Mac it's all good

and we see that he had stolen a scalpel out of the medical room goes at Mac to try to kill him. Mac turns around, pops him, shoots him right in the head, kills him. Wow. Okay. Huge moment. Hopefully he was a thing. Everybody gets, everybody's

tied up, sitting on like one by one on a couch all tied down. Except for Mac and except for Windows. I think Mac just needed an assistant so whatever okay um and he's like okay here's what we're doing he makes everybody give a like cut their finger and give a little sample of their own blood he puts it all each in a little petri dish labeled with everybody's names uh well his thing is like human blood. Human blood is just tissue. But this thing, if this thing were to get attacked by, say, a hot needle, it'll try to survive.

Human blood won't. It's just tissue. Sure. So he's holding like some copper wire in front of his little flamethrower. And his plan is to heat up the copper wire, stick it into each Petri dish. And if the blood fights back, it's your thing. Great.

Pretty good test. Yeah. So, here we go. One by one, down the line. Tension is high. I'm scared. So, he does windows first. Windows is being his little assistant, so it makes sense.

Let's try him first. He eats it up sticks it in human windows is good great he's like all right next i'm gonna do me heats it up sticks it in his human right and childs goes oh like childs doesn't want to buy it he's like oh fuck that like no way um but creedy is human next he's like let's do doc and clark um they're both dead clark's the one he just shot and doc got his hands chopped off and died okay um so he does doc first doc was human yep sorry sad for doc oh tries clark next also human whoa damn and child goes so i guess that makes you a murderer i guess not helping child but but also how do we know this test is even working at this point that's true good question

i bet we'll find out a few few more tests here, we'll know. So then he goes to do Palmer, whose name I probably haven't mentioned a single time in the movie, but he's been around. Anyway, his name is Palmer. So he takes his little hot wire, goes and puts it in the dish, and something

like bursts up out of the Petri dish. And they drop it. And then they look over at Palmer. And his whole body is like. And right before their eyes, he starts bursting and bloody. So the test works. We've learned that the test works.

Why is he self-destructing? I think because he felt his DNA be attacked and is like fighting back. I think because he was found out. I think I think it's just like that. So this scene is crazy. He's like and he's still tied to everybody else on the couch. They're like in a line. So they're all freaking out.

They're like, burn it, burn it, burn him. And Mac has a flamethrower, but it won't work. He keeps trying and it won't burn him. It won't burn him. And so he says, Windows, torch him. Because Windows also has a flamethrower. So Windows comes up to him. Oh, no.

Palmer's head splits down the middle like a big mouth. Bites Windows' head. Oh, no. Has Windows' whole head mouth, bites Window's head. Oh, no. Has Window's whole head inside the mouth of his head. His head mouth? No. Window's feet are like flying. His whole body is like flying up in the air.

He's like got him by his head and is flinging him around. And they're all freaking out. They're like, torch him, torch him, torch him, torch him. He flings Window's body into the corner and he's all bloody and fucked up. Mac's flamethrower in the nick of time works. He torches him.

Palmer, all like, caught on fire, like, bursts through the wall and goes out into the snow and Mac tosses a stick of dynamite on him. Blows him up. Okay. And then turns his attention over to Windows in the corner and burns him. So, got them both. Oh, they're both poor Windows.

Poor Windows. He didn't deserve that. He didn't deserve it. He did not deserve it. And then we cut right back to, okay, let's keep the test going. Yeah. Which is a fun cut after all that chaos. Right.

Got a couple more people to test. So Right. Got a couple more people to test. So, and these, this, a couple more people to test. And this series of cuts is really fun. So, next we do Knowles, who is our chaff on the rollerblades. Test him. Human. Cut two. Then he's up standing.

We, like, cut to that him. He's human. Cut back. He's standing next to Mac. And now the two of them are little assistants. And they do Childs. and Childs is human. He's just an asshole. He's just an asshole.

We get this fun cut, which I don't know if it's going to be fun to describe, but he's like, cut me loose, cut me loose, cut, and we see just Gary now alone on the couch, just like waiting to be tested. It's very funny. And Gary, one last test. Human. Okay. So Palmer was the only thing left. So we're thinking we've eradicated the thing. So we're thinking we're doing okay.

So, and this is also a really funny line. So Gary is the last one to get tested. He's a human. He's very relieved he's sitting there and he goes I know you guys have been through a lot but when you have the time I'd rather not spend the rest

of winter tied to this fucking couch which is funny so Mac and Gary and Knowles are now like okay we're gonna go give Blair the test we figure out the test it works he's the last person on our radar we're gonna give him the test

and they tell Childs to stay put and Mac says if you see Blair if Blair comes back here and he's not with us burn him because we can't trust anybody they get to the shed where Blair has been kept and guess what?

The door's open. Blair's not in there. Oh, Blair. So they're like, wait a minute. How is this door even open? The door only opens from the outside. How could you possibly have done that? Well, they go in and realize that he has burrowed down underneath.

Oh, that sounds like a thing thing to do. Yeah, that doesn't sound very human. They go down, they follow the little cave tunnels and see that he's been building a fucking ship. What? Using parts from the helicopter that he

took apart. What? How did he have space in his burrow to build a ship? How big is this trillium? How's he going to get his ship out of the burrow? How big is this burrow? It's very hard to say. Very hard to say. He's going to burrow back to the ocean with his ship.

Yeah, I do not. No, not like a, not a boat ship. What kind of vessel are we talking? Some of us here are vessel heads. We're talking like a spaceship. That's still a vessel. Wait, what? He's been building a spaceship in his burrow? Not a sailboat.

Not a sailboat. He's not been building a sailboat. Both are insane, but not a sailboat. Not a sailboat. He's been building a spaceship in a burrow flight like a pod

ship through which to escape that sneaky motherfucker that sneaky motherfucker they go back up to the surface they get out of these little caves they see someone outside they're like a shadow of a form outside

and Null's like it looks like Childs. Is that Childs? I don't know. But then the power gets shut off to the whole place. The full generator gets shut off. We see all the lights go out. So Max says to Gary and Nalls, he's like, in six hours, it'll be a hundred

below. Jesus. And Gary says, well, that's suicide and he says not for the thing the thing is trying to freeze itself so that it can stay alive until like a rescue crew comes and it can take them over

we'll die it will survive so he goes you know what we're not getting out of here alive but neither is the thing so what do you say we turn up the temperature he goes, you know what? We're not getting out of here alive, but neither is the thing. So what do you say we turn up the temperature around here and fucking burn

that motherfucker, even though it means we're going to die too, because he's like, we're dead either way. They start going through the whole place. They start with the main area of the base. They start going through, chucking dynamite, chucking little flares, just blowing

it up, burning it up, the whole place. Awesome. Then they go down. I'm assuming this is underground some basement level because Max says like, all right, we got to burn this whole place down to the ground. So they go down. It's like

the generator room and they start laying a dynamite that I've only ever seen in cartoons where it's like a clump on a string and then another clump and then they're like laying it all out like throughout the place to just like blow it all up

so they're like take different corners right like you go down there you go down there so they can't fully see each other but they're all they, they're like take different corners, right? Like you go down there, you go down there. So they can't fully see each other, but they're all in the same ish zone. We see Gary's laying some dynamite. And in one of the few jump scares, all of a sudden Blair's like behind him. Um, and Blair puts his hand over his mouth to quiet him his fingers go through

his skin he's like blocking his mouth but his fingers go through his skin and like morph with his face and then we see in the back then we like cut down the hallway we see Niles and Mac and in the background we see

Gary being dragged by Blair like as like by his face that's like stuck as if he's like a spider man hand like stuck on him yeah and they're just like dragging him I don't like it it's gross it's nasty

so Nalls then is like starts wandering down to see where he is we don to see where he is. We don't see where he goes. Mac finally is like setting his stuff up. He calls after them. He's like, how's it going down there? No response.

He gets up. He looks down. Nothing there. He notices that something's wrong. So he like, you know that like box that they set dynamite and you like pull it up and push it down in the cartoons? Yeah. So he like

pulls it up so that it's ready to go because he's like, uh oh, this is bad. He looks down. He's got a stick of dynamite in his hand. He looks down. He looks down the hall. All of a sudden, out of the snow, like underneath the snow like as if it's a huge gerbil that, like, is, like, burrowing towards him. And the snow is, like, getting, like, pushed up.

It's, like, like a snake or something. Krampus. Yes, thank you. It happens in Krampus, yeah. It starts, like, burrowing towards him. Alien tentacles, like, come up through through the snow grab the little tnt pusher and like toss it so like that's not working anymore yeah and it comes up then it full thing stands up and it's like massive and it sort of looks like a dinosaur now but it's still like

bloody and tumory and then like a dog head pops out of its stomach. It's like got all the shit happening now and it's nasty and big and tall. And Mac's like backing away out of the entrance. He's one stick of dynamite and he goes, oh yeah, fuck you too. And throws the dynamite at him, blows him up.

Mac starts running out and we see the whole thing like all the dynamite like boom but we're like outside and we see like huge mushroom cloud the whole thing blowing up all on fire it worked he blew it all up uh we're out in the snow we see that he managed to survive that blast and make it out but he's not doing well he's worse for wear sort of stumbles over to the edge of the camp he's got his bottle of whiskey pulls it out

sits down leans against some like beam and then Childs walks up and he's got his flamethrower and Childs says to him you're the only one who made it and he's Mac looks at him and he goes

where were you Child? He goes oh I thought I saw Blair and I went out after him then I got lost in a storm and it's unclear at this point is Child's a thing? He doesn't know if Mac is a thing? It's just the two

of them. Childs looks over at the fire and is like, that fire's not gonna last long. As in, they're gonna freeze. She says, how are we gonna make it? And Mac goes,

maybe we shouldn't. So Childs sits down across from them. They're staring at each other and they're both sort of like well should we just sit here and wait and see what happens? And they're like they have this moment of like okay

maybe one of us is saying maybe it's not. If not we're both going to die. Here we are. They share their bottle of whiskey. They sit there. They drink. We pan out. They share their bottle of whiskey. They sit there. They drink. We pan out. See the embers of the whole place. Credits.

Oh, baby. Whoa. That's probably why it didn't do well in theaters is because people, especially in the early 80s, probably hated that ending. It's a really cool ending. It's really cool to have it be unknown and for them both to just be like, well. Yeah. In retrospect, it's a really cool ending it's really cool to have it be unknown and for them both to just be like well yeah in retrospect it's great but like in the moment probably people are like what the fuck i feel like that's how horror movies are supposed to end they're not it's not supposed to be clear

like i don't i think probably 90 of horror movies end with like a question mark ending yeah but it's like this ending in particular so um it's like the imagine all your imagine okay so horror movies usually they end with like i don't know the monster being in the room and maybe childs or mcready is the monster but more likely they're just both humans like waiting it out and that's so nihilistic and sad yeah yeah it's definitely like it could be child's definitely the impression is definitely left that like i'm left to think it's more likely that it that child's is a thing than mcgreedy but also like yeah you just don't know and they neither of them really have the strength to continue regardless they're just like well fuck it i think i think it says something that with all the tests they did they

realized that the people who died were human a lot like they were yeah but most of them were human yeah because that's what paranoia leads to right is making mistakes exactly and suspecting everyone and when you suspect everyone some of those people are going to be innocent. Yeah. I love it. I'm going to watch it. It's so good. I didn't hate it,

but I'm never going to watch this movie. It's a classic, Henley. Fair enough. It's a classic. Yeah. What a perfect movie for- I liked it. I'm glad to have seen it again.

Yeah, what a perfect movie for the times. Thank you, listeners listeners for suggesting it because it really is. And we forgot to say congratulations. This one is congratulations to almost I feel like 10 people.

It's very good. And for those of you who are too scared, I do think it's doable for sure. Well guys, I'm glad to have watched this movie in this quarantine time um i guess stay healthy stay in your homes me and ebon wish you well the thing didn't make any crazy noises at that that one point, the guy opened his mouth and screamed. Okay, ready? From all of us here, Too Scary Didn't Watch, Stay in Your House, and...

Hanley didn't participate, let it be known. I participated! Oh, there we go. You guys are just too loud. Oh, typically speaking over over me like you fucking spotlight hogs. Jeez. Leave that in. We love each other. We love you. Bye.

Hey everyone, it's Emily. Thanks for listening to another episode of Too Scary, Didn't Watch. Hope you all are staying safe and staying inside. Have you bought your face mask yet? The CDC is recommending that we all wear them when we're going outdoors now. So there are a lot of cool resources online about how to make your own or different sellers who are kind of pivoting to make them. A lot of them are doing donations as well when you buy a pack. So

highly suggest you check it out. Also suggest you head over to Apple Podcasts and rate and review Too Scary to Watch. We would love to hear from you. We're also on Twitter and Instagram at TSDW Podcast. So you can follow us there as well. Okay. Thanks for listening to the very, very, very bitter end. Okay, bye.