Too Scary; Didn't Watch - THE TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON (Vault Release)

Episode Date: May 25, 2024

Surprise!!!! We have a very exciting episode coming on Wednesday and you MIGHT wanna listen to this one beforehand so we are releasing it from the Patreon vault! Either the best or the worst installment of the franchise, depending on if you ask Sammy or Emily.This episode was originally released in April 2022 on our Patreon.Follow the show: @TSDWpodcast on Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram.Rate Too Scary; Didn’t Watch 5 Stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Emily, Henley, and Sammy.Advertise on Too Scary; Didn't Watch via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is Emily, Henley, and Sammy, and you're listening to Too Scary, Didn't Watch. Hi, everyone. Welcome to Too Scary, Didn't Watch, bonus episode number two for the month of April in the year 2023 2023 welcome emily's birthday episode and for my birthday episode i have chosen for us to recap the second installment in the twilight film franchise new moon the best the best installment in the Twilight franchise. According to only Sammy, I literally don't think anybody else in the world thinks that. Why'd you pick it then? Why didn't we go straight to...

Because we gotta make our way through. Okay, you didn't want to skip to your fave? Well, no, you can't skip any of them. I'm glad that you didn't skip any because I haven't seen... I've only seen the first one. That's what I'm saying. We can't skip any of them. I'm glad that you didn't skip any because I haven't seen I've only seen the first one. That's what I'm saying. We can't skip them. Now I've seen the second one. Yeah.

And also it's like I don't dislike New Moon. I love New Moon. It's just a wild choice as a number one in my opinion. It's so special to me. I love this one. I'm famously Team Jacob, even though he's a fucking monster. And I don't mean he's a werewolf. But he is.

No, Jacob is. We watched it last night with Joel, who has already seen it because I've made him watch with me before. But we get to the end and he's like, Jacob's really problematic. And he gets even more problematic as the franchise continues. And look, it's not like edward is not problematic all of this is very much pretty troubling um the gender politics are bad the uh i don't know the way these relationships operate is very unhealthy the age gap is significant it is very significant we have

spoken about age gaps being upsetting before and i think this absolutely we have got to address it um yeah no it's not the treatment of women particularly of bella in these movies is awful but maybe that ain't what this is about um but yeah no jacob is the worst. Okay. That I, as someone who is coming in really in a vacuum, does not know anything about Twilight besides these two movies that now I've seen. I was so team Jacob in this movie. I am a hundred percent team Jacob. Hell yes,

baby. Wow. Feeling so strongly about it. I'm outnumbered. I really team jacob i know okay i know just wait until you see eclipse because no no i know the thing about him like imprinting on her baby daughter that it's out of his control massive spoiler that was out of his control and that is another funny age gap and that doesn't happen until Breaking Down Part 2. Okay. But he does something bad in Eclipse as well. There is a meme that's going around or has been around of like a 30 year age gap.

Creepy. A hundred and twenty year age gap. Sexy as hell. Because it's a trope. And also all these like fantasy book romance fantasy novels and stuff. Yes. 17 year old girls falling in love with a thousand year old. and also all these like fantasy book romance fantasy novels and stuff of just yes yeah 17 year old girls falling in love with a thousand year old or whatever yeah imagine being over a

hundred and being attracted to a 17 year old and being like that's the brain development stage i'd like to pursue as a person in my hundreds in my hundreds in my one hundreds but sammy bella is special she's clearly special is you know her gifts as as arrow says will make her a fascinating immortal okay let me tell you why this is the best twilight movie tell us first of all obviously introduction of werewolves huge sure a crucial part of the whole rest of the series very fun um a love triangle uh who doesn't love a love triangle i feel like that is uh again something that is crucial to the rest of the series Though obviously don't make or choose

It's him it's always gonna be Edward We know that Also Edward's so rarely present In this movie I feel like we get more love triangle Elements in Eclipse which once again Is perhaps my favorite But it's the formation That one's my least favorite interesting I should watch it again

I just don't like the central army of vampires. Now, that part's stupid, but all the rest of it is fucking great. Except for Jacob forcing himself on Bella, which yeah, spoiler alert, he does that. And it's bad.

Oh, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he does. Yeah. Jacob's bad. Sorry, Henley. Fuck. Sorry, Sammy Yeah Jacob's bad Sorry Henley Fuck Sorry Sammy Jacob's bad After this movie I was fully team Jacob My background picture

Says it all Edward's also bad As we've also Edward is also bad It's true It's true We're choosing between Two very bad relationships

Here and there Both Pretty toxic Yeah The Volturi I guess the Volturi is in twilight also but the introduction of dakota fanning and her character yes very good very exciting thrilling love that um her this one has all the best lines bella where the hell have you been, Loca? Tell me that's not the best line in the entire franchise. He delivers some great lines, many of which I think must have been improvised because they are so strange.

He also says, maybe you should go to a hospital. Maybe I should put you in the hospital. And then when, oh my God, I keep wanting to say Ashley Green What's her fucking Alice thank you They're all very similar Jackson Jasper Ashley Alice She comes back and he says Don't make me angrier things are gonna get

Really ugly Oh man This script I mean yeah if it's improvised That's incredible. But part of me believes that this script is probably absolutely insane. I think that things are going to get really ugly.

I think that one is improvised just because it's like he like trails off with it as if it's like they were just like getting each other's faces and like, well, you know, then we edit and he just, things are going to get really ugly. It's like, I don't know that they told you to say that. and then the last thing is this soundtrack absolutely slaps i was obsessed with this soundtrack when this movie came out i had it on cd listen to it in my car yeah and we

get the other side of validation bella doesn't like music in this movie. I know, she noticed that too. She's like, I don't like any music. She said it's because she's too sad to listen to music, though. Is that why you guys don't like music? Are you too sad? Nah. A little trivia about the soundtrack is that every song that appears in the film and on the soundtrack is original and written specifically for New Moon.

And Robert Pattinson, Sammy, you'll love this. New Moon is his favorite book. And he recently, it says in 2019, he rewatched this movie and in an interview said that it made him reminisce about the series and the good memories he has of it and he said he thought the soundtrack was ahead of its time it was i agree with that too i agree um and what was i gonna say oh i saw a tweet that phoebe bridgers said twilight lucked out so hard by existing before she was making music she was like i would have been on those soundtracks in a fucking heartbeat it's true made me laugh exactly the vibe maybe she'll be on the series yeah there you go yeah but this has

fucking tom york and bonnie there like like licky lee licky lee and okay go which was actually one and Bonnie Bear and OK Go which was actually one of my favorite bands in high school and I forgot they were on this and it made me so nostalgic. Remember when every time OK Go would release an event Whoa did you see the new OK Go? I mean they're so elaborate They were in space

They were so elaborate and creative and it was always a big deal The treadmill one was the OG. Isn't that the one that started it all? Yep. And then they just kept upping the top of themselves. Difficulty. Yeah.

They're fun. If you guys haven't seen, if any of you listeners haven't seen the OK Go music videos, I'd recommend checking them out. They're pretty fun. Check them out. I do love this movie. I mean, obviously, Bella, where the hell have you been? Loca is incredible. I have it on on a shirt i say it all the time um joel who watched this movie with me

and was sort of half in half out uh as the line was approaching i was like joel put down your phone it's coming up and he was had to just sit and experience it and he wanted to as well it's iconic um i mean look don't make me choose uh i just for me there's not enough edward in this movie sure personally um and there's more love triangle-ness in three in eclipse and i also really like that the vampires and the werewolves have to fight together and they teach each other how to fight in their own specific styles and that is but we get the we get a lot of Jasper in

Eclipse which makes me surprised that that one's not your favorite Sammy. I'll rewatch him because yeah. Because he really shines. Do you have a ranking? I'm curious. You know I've only seen Breaking Dawn parts 1 and 2 one time. The rest of them I've seen several times so I don curious You know I've only seen Breaking Dawn Parts one and two one time The rest of them I've seen several times so I don't know that I can

Accurately rank But I have the three Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse I was about to say I was about to say Eclipse Then Twilight then New Moon but then I was like No it's actually eclipse then new moon

Then twilight but how do you put the first twilight Last so it's really just too hard It's hard it is hard Mine is New moon then breaking dawn part Two then twilight Then breaking dawn part one then eclipse Wow

Fascinating So you guys really disagree on eclipse Well I gotta re-watch it now it's also in that same argument i think it's the one i've seen the least i think i've only seen it twice i gotta watch them all you gotta watch oh my gosh seeing them in theaters was so fun breaking down part two in theaters was like one of my favorite theater going experiences ever Also fucking Lee Pace Is in Breaking Dawn Part 2 Oh my god The stars keep coming out of the woodwork I was shocked to see Dakota Fanning

Yeah Dakota Fanning Dakota Fanning Dakota Fanning Fucking Michael Sheen incredible Absolutely delivering an incredible performance He's so great Even Anna Kendrick. I'm like, oh, right.

I keep forgetting you're in these movies, too. So funny that she's in them. It really is. It really is. Okay, well, we're just going to do... We're going to do like a, you know, very high level... Loose recap. Loose recap of this movie. I have a little bit of trivia.

Yeah. And that is... I have a little bit of trivia. Um, Oh, and that is, Oh, a little casting. What if Diego Luna was offered the role of arrow? Actually went to Michael Sheen. Very interesting. It could have been good.

Yeah. Taylor Lautner was nearly replaced because he had to bulk up From one to two and he put on 25 pounds of muscle he did He really did he's absolutely Shredded really really Beefed up he's a fully Shredded man um And you know

That was He really he really brought it home For this this role Um The part where Bella sinks under the water When she cliff dives So originally

They shot it in a pool And they were like okay Kristen we're going to put weights In your pockets And you're going to sink to the bottom of this pool That's how we're going to get the shot And she didn't want to do that She said that sounds very scary And so the directors said it's okay i'll do it first and then you'll see that it's not scary and he did it and immediately panicked while he was under the water and pulled

all the weights out and was like we're not doing this well respect to him for for putting himself in literally her shoes i mean i guess it's very funny to be like it's not a big deal Look I'll show you and they're like no no no no It's too scary Which would be really scary Almost an actor's rights violation He saved himself Very nearly

But yeah he saved himself on that one That's pretty much all I got Just one little piece of Not specific to twilight trivia but i personally love the fact that taylor lautner married another taylor and her name now is also taylor lautner so they're just taylor lautner and taylor lautner love that it's it's honestly it's fun that's funny like no matter who it happens to but the fact that it's him is so truly perfect and he also dated taylor swift right he did taylor swift he did yeah a lot of taylors that's a popular name around the time that he was

born but it is so funny that taylor lautner specifically married a woman named taylor that's very funny to me he is what's okay so what's so great about these movies is it honestly has a lot of truly incredible actors taking this role, their roles very seriously, which is very special to see. Pattinson absolutely giving his all every step of the way. And, you know, Kristen Stewart gets a lot of flack for her performance in these movies. And, yes, she does a lot of weird breathing and mouth stuff. I will give her that. But honestly, I think she's great in these movies. And I've come around.

Yeah. And maybe it's just because I know about the, you know, her path to come and how fucking amazing she is. But I love her in these movies. Taylor Lautner is one of the worst actors I have ever seen on the screen ever in my life and that is also perfect perfect he's so bad it's hard to understand even why and how but every word sounds like like they're being said by a human who's never said words it's like crazy okay i really disagree i thought he was stellar in this film i loved him i was completely convinced amazing i thought that he was i thought that his um growth from you know pre-werewolf knowledge to post-werewolf knowledge

was wow in that rainy scene very moving going from um judging his peers cliff jumping to being the shirtless cliff jumper himself was huge huge for me the um part where he you know leaps over bella to defend her honor shifting into a massive werewolf i was moved i. I was moved beyond belief. That's the other thing. The budget increase from one to two. I just feel like it's... This movie looks pretty fucking good, I think. Yeah. I mean, for the time, for 2009?

I think it looks great. 2009. No, no, no. I was engrossed. I was totally engrossed. And also, you guys, like, I just don't Find Robert Pattinson Attractive in these movies at all I don't either he's like a little

Too he just has The and I know it's it's an acting choice And I understand it and I'm obsessed with it and I love it But he just like constantly looks like he's About to throw up he just looks like So nauseous all the time And it's because he wants to eat Bella Because he wants to eat Bella but he loves wants to eat Bella, but he loves Bella.

So bad. And he has to always swallow that desire. I'm going to eat her, but I won't eat her. But it just translates to him looking like he has like a tummy ache for the whole series. Yeah, and it doesn't help that he's like a shade of green the entire time. And so kind of like sickly thin compared to our gorgeously cut jacob i think in the later ones he gets a little sexier he does also i i'm sorry i don't find taylor latner attractive at all i didn't i didn't before watching this movie before watching this movie i felt loving this I felt zero. It's very funny. It's Team Jacob.

My dream's coming true. I am full Team Jacob. It took all of my willpower not to text you guys while I was watching this morning. Being like, how could anyone not be Team Jacob? Like, I don't understand how anyone could feel differently. Okay, because I seriously have. And so I read the Twilight books and watch all the Twilight movies within the pandemic. I had never seen them.

I had never experienced them. And fucking March 2020 came around and I thought, well, now's the time. And it was. And I'm glad for the choice. So I came in as an adult woman and I. Well, they're both, again, to be clear, they're both very bad. She shouldn't be with either of them. But I literally don't understand how anyone is Team Jacob. Like, first of all, it's not actually a competition, like, at all.

She doesn't want to be with Jacob ever. Like, ever. No, but it's a competition for us in the audience, you know? For us in the audience. But I just, I don't see it. In this movie, it is a competition. I think it stops probably after this movie. In this movie, it is a competition. I think it stops probably after this movie, but there's a little there's a window of time in this movie where she's really feeling Jacob. I remember, Emily, you and I have the knowledge of the entire series and we know that it's never going to be Jacob.

But I also remember seeing this for the first time, not having read the books and feeling like i what i didn't know who she was going to choose so i think okay okay i will say the books it again is again because you get her inner monologue the whole time and she's like never gonna choose jacob yeah it's like not even a thing right and that kind of i i'm just disappointed in that that that's that's not a true love triangle then um that kind of it's not a true kind of decreases the tension pops a little bit it's not a it's not an equilateral triangle it's a right it's a it's a obtuse scale scaling sure oh yes sure yep okay i would say pre-werewolf knowledge, Jacob, is way more of a healthy relationship choice than Edward. And we get a lot of that in this episode or in this movie.

Edward, every single conversation they have, every single fucking conversation they have is about how he can't be with her because he doesn't want to hurt her because he doesn't want to kill her and every second they're together it's about the threat of violence hangs over them so imminently and it's used as like a way to make you feel horny and it does not work for me whatsoever and it and what if you knew if he fucked her, he would kill her? What if I just added that he wants to so badly, but he's worried he's literally going to rip her body to shreds? He's too strong. Horny now? Too fast. I feel like what are some of the... Oh, Edward says, he says, the only thing that can hurt me is you.

And he also says, it's my job to protect you. Oh, that's a big one. Those are the only types of lines that he has. And God, it fucking pisses me off because it propels this toxic masculine narrative. Yes, very much. That men are just there to protect women. And also

men can't control their violence. Men can't control raping women. I'm so sorry. I have a note about that when it comes to the werewolves. Again, both are bad. Also, this series written by Stephanie Meyer. Is this Meyer? Meyer.

I think Meyer. Meyer. Mormon. Really problematic gender norms being followed in these books there's a lot it's yeah it's bad this is like absolutely a toxic relationship dynamic in any direction should be modeling any relationship patterns based off of these movies that's not why we like them that's not why we like them let's be clear um this in this viewing it really struck me. Okay. So Emily, Sam's fiance has like her face scratched up and the explanation is Sam lost his temper for just a second and she was standing too close.

God, what if I did that to you? And it's like, it just feels like such an obvious mapping over like, look, just I, it just could happen. I just get so mad that i'd hurt you and then right and if you're standing too close that's your fault and god i wish i could take it back but i just can't it's like nope nope nope nope it's true on both sides though it's like it's happening on the vampire side and it's happening on the werewolf side well they're monsters yes they're all it's all bad yep but so so good um well shall we get into it and just kind of

yeah let's just say what happens through it yeah because we start with something we talk a lot about which is the fear of aging she's just so scared of being continuing to age she sees old version of herself her grandmother dating edward and I had forgotten all about this part of just how disc... In the past few years, I have hit a point where I only want to be wearing clothes that are comfortable. It happened. It happened to me. But you know what? I still also want to look cute. And these are two desires that are often extremely opposing. And I don't want to have to sacrifice.

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That's HelloBello.com slash TooScary to start bundling with 30% off your first order. Don't forget, that's HelloBello.com slash TooScary. Disgusted she is that she's turning 18 because he's 17. Because it's a year older than Edward. 18 because he's 17. Because it's a year older than Edward. Yeah, so we start on Bella's birthday, which a little trivia, this was the school scenes were

shot on Kristen Stewart's actual 19th birthday. Oh my gosh. She's an Aries, so it must have been so young. Yeah, it was just her birthday not too long ago. Happy belated Kristen. This is your birthday episode, really. She's got her big old red truck which we love to see we love the red truck she doesn't want any presents anyone who knows it's

her birthday because oh my god how disgusting celebrated she hates it at school when edward arrives i just noticed this for the first time that he parks perpendicularly and takes up like three parking spots, just like such an asshole. I never noticed him before. I was like, oh my God, is he going to fucking leave his car like that? Yeah, he does do that. He does do that. Also, I love the genius parallels that are set up right at the beginning to Romeo and Juliet.

They're studying Romeo and Juliet in school. And oh, my God, is life imitating art? Oh. And so in there, while they're watching Romeo and Juliet in class, Edward decides to tell Bella that he's so jealous of Romeo's ability to commit suicide. Oh, yes. He's supposed to kill himself so bad. I think it's really hard for vampires to commit suicide.

And he's only thought about it because at the end of the last movie when it seemed like bella was gonna die he's like i can't live in a world without you so i have to figure out how i would commit suicide and i must tell you now on your birthday um how i would kill myself if i needed to and the answer is is you go to the Volturi, who are this ancient committee of vampire lords who can kill you if they want by popping your head clean off your body. Which this director, Chris something? Weitz. Weitz.

Weitz. He's also the director of The Golden Compass, which i feel like i've brought up on the podcast before because this has a scene where um the polar bears are fighting each other and one of them rips the other one's lower jaw completely off and i remember seeing it as a child and that is when my bloodlust like i was it like was the first time I remember having that feeling of like Even though it is actually completely bloodless, which is echoed here in the in the Twilight franchise where they just pop off like Legos And so, you know Bella's very upset by this don't ever talk about that don't ever talk about killing yourself and then That night

Alice Is throwing a birthday party for Bella Even though she doesn't want it you have to come over We're gonna have a birthday party for you And At this birthday party When Bella goes to open her present Oh my god on

Wrapping paper which is really funny to think about Because I just feel like wrapping paper Is the softest paper on earth She gets a paper cut and Our dear dear Jasper Paper cuts Famous for pouring blood Pouring blood

Huge huge blood coming out of her finger And he Cannot handle it He's the newest vampire of the collins and uh he would you know again he wishes it wouldn't have happened but his bloodlust gets the best of him and he gets worked up in there they're holding him back they're holding him back edward shoves bella across flinging her this is why he's scared to have sex with her because he Edward Shoves Bella Across Flinging her This is why he's scared to have sex with her

Because he would destroy her He flings her across the room She lands on a glass table Shatters it He flings Jasper To the other side of the room But when Bella fucking crashed Into that glass coffee table

She slices her arm up and is bleeding a lot more. And they have to get Jasper out of there. Alice can't even stay. It's too much blood. Everyone feels terrible. Carlisle goes to to to fix her up, fix Bella up because he's been doing this a while. They've they've all controlled their own thirst. Yes.

And another great thing about the franchise is two incredibly hot dads. We've got Carlisle and Charlie. Both hot dads. Yep. That Tonelli, Billy Burke, both just. Yep. Very hot dads. Who's your hot dad of choice?

Both of you. Oh, God god i guess carlisle i mean his self-restraint is moving i like think charlie's hotter but i'm more attracted to carla i just wish hair wasn't blonde i mean the blonde hair is just so insane on all of them all because all of everyone in this movie who has blonde hair they don't actually have blonde hair they have yellow hair yellow that's exactly right it's all yellow rosalie's hair yellow yeah this is this is also where we find out the very important thing which is that bella wants edward to turn her he won't she finds out he won't. Oh, we've known that, baby.

We've known that. She's been wanting that for a long time. That's all she wants. Sorry, no, but the reason he won't, this is what we find out, is that it will potentially lead her to be damned and going to hell. Damn her soul to hell.

Damn her soul to hell. She's like, well, I don't believe in that. She's like, well, I don't believe in that, so don't worry about that. Don't let that stop you. Also, it's like, well, I don't believe in that. So she's like, well, I don't believe in that. So don't don't worry about that. Don't let that stop you. Also, it's like, well, you're living forever. So I don't know. I guess when is your soul going to have to go to hell?

I mean, ever. Yeah. There you go. So that's a problem for future me, if ever. Yeah. But Edward's acting pretty weird about this whole situation. He takes her home when he says, I love you, it's not in his normal loving tones. The Cullen skips school the next few days.

She is, Bella is not feeling good. And then he, one day, shows up at her house. Tells her, go with him into the woods. The amount of times that people just wander deep into the thick of the woods in these movies is really incredible also it's just so gorgeous so lush and green you also missed that the only thing bella really wanted for her birthday was a kiss and they kind of kissed and it was the most physically painful looking thing I've ever seen. Both of them like it's really hard for him Henley. It's really

really hard for him. He's trying not to kill her. I think you don't get it. He's doing his best. The little noises they make are crazy. Yeah there's a lot of mouth breathing in these movies. But he invites her to the woods. He says take a walk with me.

And he tells her that his family he says take a walk with me and he tells her that his family is moving they're leaving and she's not coming with them and that he doesn't want her to come with them and it was a mistake for them to ever be together he's not good for her and she says you mean i'm not good enough for you. And he disappears into the woods. We know he's very, very fast and he can climb trees and he's just gone, gone, gone. And even though she knows this, she chases after him, calling for him. Oh, it's getting dark. Oh, she's lost in the middle of the woods and she falls asleep on the ground.

Yeah, she just curls up to sleep. Devastated. Yep, she just curls up to sleep, devastated And then she's rescued by A member of the Quillote tribe Sam, right? Yep, it's Sam We get a flash of some animal-like eyes

In the woods, but then we see Sam Carrying her out of the woods Shirtless No explanation ever given for why everyone is always shirtless. Yeah. It's very funny because her dad, they're like searching for her and nervous. Where is she? And then to have someone just come out of the woods shirtless, carrying the limp body

of your daughter wouldn't be, I think, the big sigh of relief that they all treated. They really are. Yeah. They're really, yeah, very relieved big sigh of relief that they all treated. They really are. Yeah. They're really. Yeah. Very relieved to see her in this in this way. And I think we're also partially nervous because there's some hikers have been going missing lately. And there's a big they think there's a big bear in the woods.

So scared about that. But she comes back, they bring her back, and then she proceeds to sit in her room for three straight months. I think in one of the greatest, greatest representations of depression in cinema history. It's very good. That is a hill I will die on. I think this scene is incredibly effective. I shed a tear again watching it this time. It hits me so hard this song this licky lie

licky lee i don't know how to say it remember when she dated brad pitt remember that yeah is so perfect here and just the time passing and her not moving a fucking muscle yeah we just see a little chiron going october november december November December Ooh I feel it in my bones Every single time I think it's a Perfect perfect scene And she's doing voiceover she's like writing Emails to Alice that we learn are never going Through but that's sort of how we hear what her

State is she's talking about there's A hole Edward's gone Oh and Edward also told her it'll be like I promise you this you'll never see me again it'll be like i never existed so all the columns are like gone without a trace she's like she's like i'm grateful for the pain it's the one thing that reminds me of you guys it makes me know you were real um and she also has these very upsetting nightmares where she's straight up screaming oh my god the screaming that she does in bed is maybe the worst sound I've ever heard I hate it so much

Yeah It's really upsetting She's not hanging out with her friends Nope But eventually She agrees because Charlie's Her dad is so Disturbed

And upset by this that he says He's going to send her to her Yes very much he says he's going to send her to her. Yes, very much so. That he's going to send her to her to live with her mom, get her a change of scenery. And she says, no, no, no, I'll stay. I'll hang out with my friends. I'll do I'll like re insert myself into the into the world and make an effort um more for charlie's sake than for her own so she goes to the movies with anna kendrick um she's the worst friend ever jessica she's truly

the worst friend ever jessica's awful and we know that i feel like even from the last movie i feel like they don't like each other no but she's just like i gotta got to hang out with somebody. Both of them. I mean, Bella's behavior is so crazy. Can you imagine going to a movie with a friend and she acts this way? Like she literally leaves to go on a motorcycle with a random guy just in the middle of the conversation. I feel like it's important to note that I'm also not team Bella. No. I feel like Bella is also not making great choices, not being a very good person. Terrible to her father. Terrible to her father. she's saying that in the background as as bella is imagining flashing back to what happened in the first movie with edward just completely ignoring anna kendrick's character who's being

like can you be a better friend to me like what's going on with like can you talk to me about my problems for a second and she's literally like fuck no also i just feel like henley you're not wrong but i feel like you're taking all the wrong Jessica sucks I'm not saying Jessica doesn't suck I'm just saying that I would not want to be Bella's friend in this context What so ever

She's a terrible friend Not a good friend But yeah she sees some bikers Sort of like hey come over here girls Come on ladies And before her very eyes floats a vision of edward saying don't and she's like oh and in this moment she realizes if she does dangerous things she'll have visions of edward trying to keep her from doing them

and so she gets on the back of that motorcycle, rides around the motorcyclists as she's climbing on. And Edward is telling her, like, please don't do it. She says something out loud like he says, you promised you wouldn't do anything reckless. And she said, you promised you'd never leave. And the motorcyclist says, did you say something? You know what? Never mind. Absolutely no beat in the middle. It just gets me every time

It's fun But yeah so she's Had a light bulb moment oh I need to put my life In danger and then I can have Visions of Edward So Henley's shaking her head In disgust I just hate this

The glorification of self harm in these Films is just astounding. I just want to give a little plug. I've done it before. Vampire Diaries leaps and bounds better than Twilight. We're getting a lot of the same tropes. We're getting another 300-year-old man in love with a 17-year-old

girl. Also, we're setting Shakespeare in class and doing shit like that. Always. Love to see it. Shakespeare and vampires go hand in hand. But Nina Dobrev's character is such a good friend that she has great friendships and she's also like really holds some

strong boundaries in her romantic relationships as well that I admire. That's nice. No, yeah. Bella should be nobody's role model. Bella literally only cares about Edward and sometimes Jacob But rarely It's not great

I also No I said this already but Just while we're plugging things Emily I think you should watch True Blood I should you're right The Voltari scenes really remind me of True Blood There's a little There's so much vampire politics

In True Blood. Yes. And that's the most important part. It's like, give me the bureaucracy. It's a lot of bureaucracy in it. Yeah, I want to know how they conduct their business relations. I want to know sort of top down strategic. How the power structures work from Georgia to Kentucky or I don't know wherever they go. Generally speaking, those are the things that interest

me most. No, don't worry. It's fucking sexy as hell too. Alexander Skarsgård's in it for crying out loud. I mean, we can't forget that I tried to watch the first episode with my mom and it has the most aggressive sex scene I've ever seen in my entire life. And don't let that sex scene deter you because that one is not sexy.

It's terrifying. And there are sexy ones after i was like nursing silas i had like a one month old baby nursing him watching like the most pornographic sex scene i've ever watched with my mom in the middle of the day like oh whoops and has a legit love triangle i feel like nice yeah that it is more kind of a question mark at times i wish they'd swung for it more um i really do but i feel like with the toxicity of like we're destined to be each other's forever they like stephanie meyer like wasn't willing to even threaten that a little bit and it's like well okay right do they they don't even kiss in the

movie do they they get close a couple times in Right. They don't even kiss in the movie, do they? They get close a couple times. In this one, they don't. They do in Eclipse, which again, is forced upon her. Yeah, that's no good. I don't love that. Don't love it. Yeah. But now we get the glory days of Jacob.

Now we're heading into. Now we're in Jacob territory. She takes some motorcycles from the junkyard over to Jacob, famously a great mechanic. And she says, can we fix up these bikes together? And he says, Bella, where the hell have you been? Bella, where the hell have you been? Loca. He has long hair still.

We're in long hair, Jacob phase. Long hair, Jacob. Taylor Lautner's wig. I think that's a member of our patrons. It is. Yes, that is the better way to. Hello, Taylor Lautner's wig. As tall as it is long

And it's Really really wild to see I'm just imagining the wig walking around Like independent of Taylor Lautner It's the biggest wig And to cheat completely The depth on this wig is really something else And they

Start repairing these bikes together And Jacob's clearly in love with her is really something else um and they start repairing these bikes together and jacob's clearly in love with her flirting with her conversation about who's oldest and they decide that he's 35 and she's 32 when in fact he's 16 and she's 18 and i don't know why they're having this conversation says age is age is just a number she's. Age is just a number, baby. And yeah, we're just getting like basically a montage of how great the relationship is. We hear her voice service to Alice. The hole is being filled by Jacob. Fun and games portion, baby.

Fun and games. She still misses Edward, but when she's with Jake, it all feels okay again. And she sees, he tells her that Sam and his crew, he calls them a cult, are this like weirder group of dudes who all walk around shirtless with little torn off shorts. And they do crazy things like cliff jump at La Push. And that Jacob feels like Sam keeps looking at him like waiting for him to be next and so immediately Belle's like well I don't like Sam he seems like

a bad guy let's avoid him and then I think the motorcycles get get repaired they take him out for a spin no helmets uh middle of nowhere and she's never ridden a motorcycle before she gets a two second lesson from Jacob.

Here's the clutch. Here's the brake. Off you go. And she... I don't even know what clutch means. No, me neither. I'd be like, I'm going to need some more information. Yeah.

Also, give me a helmet. Like, give me a fucking helmet. Yeah, truly. But no, we don't do that. And she starts riding off down the road and immediately seeing edward but she's you know he appears and she moves past him because she's going so fast on the motorcycle so she keeps turning fully around i was gonna say this is where edward is actually further endangering her by being there and taking her eyes off the road yeah and so she keeps turning

around to look at him of course men's out of control because she does not know how to ride this motorcycle falls gets flung into a rock. Looks pretty bad. Jacob rides up after her in the way. His physicality in this. And dismounts this bike. It's so funny. I couldn't possibly describe it, but it is so funny to me the way that he does it.

Like, turns a full circle. He, like, drops the motorcycle and, like, runs. I don't know. It's very funny. It's very funny. He comes up up to her she's bleeding from her head She realizes this and goes oh my oh I'm so sorry And he says why are you apologizing for bleeding Oh she needed to hear this

She needed to hear this He said it's just blood Bella no big deal No big deal This is the sign of a woman who has been in an abusive relationship True And then he takes his shirt off and dabs her blood with it. Her blood looks like full ketchup. It's like so bright red and thick immediately.

And she says, Jake, you know, you're you're sort of beautiful. And he is. He's gorgeous. I'm not seeing it. Then she's like better. And she starts socializing with her friends again. She's not depressed anymore. She wants to go to the movies.

The first thing that happens is that random guy asks her out. He's like, oh, you're feeling better? Oh, Mike. You want to go to the movies with me? And she's like, OK. And then invites everyone. And they all go to the movies with me? And she's like, okay. And then invites everyone and they all go to the movies. We should invite everybody. To see Face Punch. Yeah, okay, so yeah, they go to

see Face Punch. It's so funny how she, like, wants to go to an action movie and he's so disturbed by that as if that's a sign of someone in... Right, as if it's a sign of someone that's like, not, really not well. Not, like, womanly. Like, it's like, wait someone That's like not really not well

Not like womanly like it's like Wait what So they go to see face punch and the whole crew is Invited but the only people who end up being able to show up Are Mike and Jacob and in one of my favorite Moments she sits between them in the movie Theater and each of them has their hand

Up out faced on the arm Rest next to her as an offering. As an offering. As an offering. A handhold. Yeah. Truly horrifying to be sitting between two men being like, hold my hand, hold my hand, hold my hand, hold my hand.

Yeah, this love triangle is tough. Yeah, this one, this is a bad love triangle. This lasts for about three seconds. Not a love triangle. It's a love, two men being like, please, please, please, please, please, please, please. Yep. And so Mike starts to be sick to his stomach because of the action movie. So he runs out to go puke at Jacob and Bella follow.

Jacob says, what a marshmallow, which I thought was marshmallow. To be fair to this guy, I think he has the flu because that other friend had the stomach flu. That's why she couldn't come. I don't think he's throwing up from this action movie that would be really ridiculous like actually ridiculous yeah fair enough fair enough fair enough but uh yeah jacob says great choice and man you need to be with someone who laughs at the gore that makes weaker men vomit excellent line reading from taylor lautner again five out of five stars from me incredible um zero out of five for me but in some ways that's exactly the score i always want him to be earning um and he goes to hold her hand and she does just she pulls her hand away and he

says what i can't hold your hand she says of course you can yeah which is such a weird response crazy thing to say um she says i just think it means something different to you and he once again won't take no for an answer we don't love his uh inability to accept consent and tries to kiss her. And, um, okay. To be fair to him, she seems into it. She is giving a lot of signs that she is into it. She's saying no over and over again. Okay, you are a little bit, I think you're a little bit biased from what comes up in the future films.

This is true. But also, she's definitely flirting with him a lot of the time. She is. She is flirting with him. She's giving a lot of strong eye contact and she is very close. She is not backing up. I do just think it's a tricky message for consent that she's saying no, but maybe close to him. And again, she is.

But I just don't like the message. No. Yes. No means no. No means no. Trust her words. That is true. Let her come to you.

But it's not like He's coming out of nowhere With this He's not coming out of nowhere But he is Really pushy Like It's definitely a Wear her down

Mentality It's always It's You know If I just say it enough She'll be too tired To say no Which is sort of

What starts to happen And again I don't love it anyway no just before the kiss uh mike comes out of the bathroom with a perfect lender he goes well i'm gonna go home i need to go home i need to go home and jacob starts getting really mad he says you need to i think you're a little sick maybe Maybe you should go to the hospital. Do you think I should put you in the hospital? And he starts getting really agitated and going immediately to 100.

Bella's like, Jacob, what's going on? Everything's fine. Whoa, you're really hot. I feel like you have a fever. And he's like, oh, what's happening to me? I don't feel good. And he leaves. And then Bella tries to see him the next day.

And she can't. His dad is telling her, no, he has mono. I don't feel good. And he leaves. And then Bella tries to see him the next day and she can't. His dad is telling her, no, he has mono. He can't see anybody. And we get a montage of over and over again. She's calling him. She's trying to figure out what,

how he's doing, if she can see him. Also prior to this, he had said, I'm never going to do to you what Edward did to you. I'll never. Yes. I'll never leave you the way that he did. Um,

and he's not answering. She can't see him. And she starts to, once she says to him, I said, because I rejected your advances, now you're icing me out. And she decides, I'm just going to show up. I'm going to show up and try to see what's going on with him. And she does.

And he's standing shirtless in the pouring rain. The rain is so cut his hair he has a tattoo she's wondering what the hell what the hell is going on with you and he says i'm not good for you bella i'm not i used oh this is also one of my other favorite lines i used to be good a good kid not anymore i was i used was convinced. A good kid. Oh my god, that haircut really did me in. I loved the haircut reveal.

Yeah, thank god he got rid of the 20 pounds of wig. I think he's really hot. I just do. A lot of people agree with you. That's sort of his whole reason for existing in this movie. I disagree. Wow, beauty is really in reason for existing in this movie. I disagree. Wow, beauty is really in the eye of the beholder,

you guys. It's in the eye of the beholder. And isn't that lovely? I guess. But she leaves. She says, you promised you'd never do this to me.

And he basically is like, sorry. I lied. Get out of here and oh and then then the next day i think she's walking through the woods like she does to that field where she used to lie in the grass with edward free to be shiny in the sunlight. The field is dead. Oh my God. How sad. And who should appear but Laurent, who was one of the vampires in the first movie who ran with Victoria and... James. James.

Thank you. And he says, oh, I went to the Collins house and they're not there. I can't believe they left you behind. And Edward appears and says, lie. She says, oh, yeah, no, they come. They come back all the time. And he says, lie. I hated that.

I hated this part. And she says, oh, yeah, I'll tell him he's not mine. And he reveals that he's going to kill her because Victoria. And he reveals that he's going to kill her because Victoria, she, Edward killed her mate, James. And she thinks it's only fair that she kill Edward's mate. And Laurent's like, it's okay. I'm doing you a, I'm doing you a kindness. She's going to make it really painful, but I, I'll make it quick. I'll make it quick.

I'll make it quick. And just before he goes to get her, a big wolf appears. And the whole pack of wolves run out into the clearing and start chasing the runt away. And Bella freaks out. I think she stays there far too long. Makes eye contact with one of the wolves. And then runs back home and tells her dad, oh, my God, it's not a bear. It's wolves. It's wolves it's a bunch of really really really big wolves and he's hanging out with harry clearwater who is like what are you sure are you sure i don't know i don't know um and so they decide

they're gonna go hunt for the wolves then jacob comes to her room yes and park parkours his way up so funny yes spider monkeys up the uh side of her home completely spider monkeys and she doesn't really give enough of a reaction to that and she's kind of like no it's superhuman what he does she's like all right looks good me. And he tells her he wishes he wishes she could he could tell her what's going on but he can't and he gets so worked up.

The thing is you already know. And he's trying to get her to remember the conversation they had at La Push last year and she says, yeah, about the cold ones. He's like, i guess i understand why that's the part you remember and then he leaves does it count as not telling someone something if you're like yeah he's definitely telling her without telling her and she has a bit of a memory

about that conversation um and so she goes the next day to go visit Jacob again Sees Sam and his gang there And she gets mad And she pushes one of them Like he didn't want to be in your gang What are you doing to him And when she pushes him

He gets angry and he turns into a wolf And then Jacob Comes from behind her Bella look out and she says jacob look out and he leaps over her and transforms into a wolf midair gorgeous scene my adrenaline is through the roof during the cheering in cheering in the audience absolutely just hearts coming out of my eyes fully into it and uh and they fight and the rest of the werewolves say you know bring sam says bring bella back to to my place and so they go and they meet sam's fiance emily

who as we mentioned before he got a little angry too close to her once tore half her face to shreds because you know he could not help himself yeah she gives them a platter of muffins that is the largest platter and the largest muffins i have ever seen yes each of these muffins is the size of a werewolves they have big appetites but like where what baking sheet is she there's like individual cake pans that she's turning into muffins i mean their caloric needs must be really high through the roof so she's buying cake tins for the muffins turning him into muffins and we learn that all the vampire the werewolves can like read each other's thoughts pack mentality and um she has so Jacob comes back Everybody's fine you know they just had a little

Little dog fight It is nice how because there's a rule That we've learned Where Jacob couldn't Tell her about This fact that they're werewolves And that's why he wasn't telling Her before

But now that she knows they're all just kind of like okay Hey they're like very casual about like okay hey they're very casual about it there's no there's no even blink of a thought of well we have to kill her now which i would think would probably realistically if there were werewolves that would probably be a rule if someone finds out would be a rule unfortunately she runs with vampires who there are there one true enemy and they do say that they're like, oh, the vampire girl. But, you know, they're also all pretty chill. Yeah, they're too casual about this.

And so Jacob takes a walk with her and he tells her it's some people just have a gene. And our werewolfness is reactivated when vampires are around. And so when the Cullens moved to town we started turning into werewolves again there's something i can do about it and he reveals that whatever has been killing the hikers is in fact victoria who is there hunt he's like she keeps coming back we don't know what she's after and she says i do me so now they know they have to protect Bella Once again everybody needs to protect Bella And Yeah

Everybody's pretty chill And feels good about Knowing that they're werewolves and everybody's friends And there we go Bella's wanting to See Edward again So she's gotta up the Anti for her

adrenaline junkie ways, and she remembers that they had done their cliff jumping earlier, and so she heads out to jump off of a cliff. Heads out to do that, knowing that Victoria is after her.

Yeah, she's just solo again, wandering the woods. Solo again, doesn't tell anybody where she's going or what she's just solo again wandering the woods solo again doesn't tell anybody where she's going what she's doing meanwhile charlie and harry clearwater and some other folks are out in the woods trying to hunt the big wolves and harry is covering up wolf tracks as they walk and who should come across them but victoria and she lifts harry up by the throat um but then the wolves come and they start chasing her She drops Harry, he has a heart attack Yeah, I think so

And so we have some sad, a little sad cutting back and forth Of seeing Charlie sort of trying to give him CPR And realizing that Harry is dead Which is really sad I think this is when we've got Tom York In the background Again, just a great song um also victoria recast no longer bryce dallas howard no it becomes bryce dallas howard in eclipse okay sorry sorry

yeah it's this woman for this and the first one got it and then it becomes bryce dallas howard yep yep my mistake so it will be it will be we. Yep. My mistake. So it will be. It will be. We gotta watch Eclipse, man. I know. And we will. So stay tuned. Someone did recently comment on our Patreon like, you guys are like not doing horror content lately.

And look, sorry. New Moon has werewolves and vampires. It absolutely does. So. Those are horror elements elements What else could you want But we're in her cut between Bella going to jump off this cliff And the werewolves chasing Victoria We see Victoria jump into the ocean And then we see Bella

Getting ready to jump off that fucking cliff And She does a thing here My question is What was her plan For getting back up to that cliff she takes off her shoes her jacket and her jewelry and she leaves them at the top of this cliff which is like when are you going back to that spot right leave them at the beach like you know you're going to end up she's not thinking but she goes to jump off the cliff and And Edward says don't don't do it And she does she jumps

It immediately pops up And is like Well I did it that was awesome And then a big old wave comes Pulls her under this is very scary Pulls her under she's drowning She manages to pop back up another huge Wave comes pulls her under

And as she's under the surface thankfully not being Sunk down to the bottom of the ocean with uh heavy weights in her pockets she sees victoria swimming towards her and she tries to back away from her and clonks her head against a rock and gets knocked out being knocked out underwater very scary it's bad kind of yeah death sentence one of the worst places for it to happen and she's floating in a really funny position that Joel kept walking around the house doing after the movie ended. Of just like having her little arms in front of her in a little like ballet circle. And she's just floating and we see a vision of Edward floating next to her and she sees and is like, oh, it's Edward, thank God. And then a hand grabs her, pulls her out onto the beach, and it's Jacob.

And he saved her. Edward's not there to save you, Bella. Edward's not there to save you. Jacob is. And somebody's got to do it. We know you're incapable of doing it yourself. You're a little stupid idiot, girl. I mean, she's making bad choices.

But Jacob rescues her And he tells her Charlie and everybody Are back at Harry Clearwater's house He had a heart attack And he's gone So Jacob Goes to drop Bella Back at her house

And when they get there He smells a vampire And they're About to drive off When she sees Oh my gosh That's Carlisle's car Parked out front

It's one of the Cullens She rushes to the door She can't wait to get in And Jacob says Tries to keep her from going in And he says You're crossing a line And she says

Then don't draw one She goes inside Cause he can't He can't protect her Once she goes inside Because he can't He can't protect her Once she goes inside Right Because they have a treaty There's a treaty

Between vampires and werewolves He can only protect her On his own land Or when the Cullens Are not around And now that there's A Cullen there He's like I can't protect you

And she says it's fine They would never hurt me She goes in And it's Alice Who thinks That Bella tried to kill herself she thinks that bella might be dead and that's why she came because alice can you know see things has visions of things to come and so she's like oh my gosh bella why did you try to kill yourself and she says i

didn't try to kill myself it was cliff jumping it was for fun uh and she asks does does Edward know that you came here? And she says, no, I didn't tell him. And then Jacob comes back in and Alice realizes, I didn't see you get pulled out of the water. I can't see past you and your pack of dogs. So her visions get clouded by the presence of the werewolves. And she says she's going to give Jacob and Bella a minute. And so she steps out to give them a moment to talk. And Jacob's all worked up. How many colons are back and how long are they staying? And is he back?

And she says, no, he's not. And he tries to kiss her again. This time it does seem like she's into it Although again it also feels like she's been Worn down a bit By the fact that Edward is not coming back And she's had a long day

And Jacob goes to kiss her and just Before they kiss the phone rings In her home Jacob answers it Swan residence And then he gets this really angry face and he says he's not here right now he's planning a funeral and hangs up the phone and we see in rio de janeiro yes i believe that's where we see edward cut to it was Edward and the other and the phone and he crushes his cell phone

into dust in his hand and we think that it's caught or he thinks that it's confirmation that Bella has died because Alice had this vision of her trying to kill herself so yes

Alice runs back in and says Bella it's Edward Rosalie told him why I came And now he thinks you're dead And he's going to go to the Vilturi and try to kill himself And Bella is rightfully very mad At Jacob and is like what the fuck Why didn't he let me talk to him

And she says he didn't ask for you And she's freaking out And Alice says we have to go to him we have to go to him he's gonna try to kill himself and so she runs out with alice and goes to get in the car and jacob's like don't go please belly don't go i'm i'm begging you and she's like i have to go because he's going to kill himself and it is kind of your fault um and so they leave and they they go to Italy. There's a whole Italy. There's a fucking Italy unit in this movie.

There's an Italy unit. I was shocked. And we learned that his plan is he went to the Volturi and asked them just to be like, hey, kill me. And they say no, because his gifts are too valuable. Um, and so the only way for them to kill him Is he needs to cause a scene And reveal that he's a vampire And they will kill him because of that

And so he's going to go out And this big festival And a crowd of people at noon And put himself in the sunlight And so they're racing against the clock To get to him Wait, what are Edward's talents again? He can read people's thoughts oh okay but not bella's yeah okay and this scene everyone's all in red long red cloaks

for the festival beautiful scene just like the opening scene and her dream. Yeah, she had a flash to it. And so in order to get up to the clock tower, Bella has to, Alice is driving her, rushing in a car. She has to get out and run through the crowd. She's pushing through people, running as fast as she can. And we see the clock

strikes noon. Edward starts to walk. He unbuttons his shirt very slowly. He takes it out. He stands in the sun. He lifts his face up to walk out. He unbuttons his shirt very slowly. He takes it out. He stands in the sun. He lifts his face up to the sun. He's so sparkly. And she gets him just, a little kid sees him, but nobody else gets him just in time.

Pushes him into the shade. And his eyes are closed and he's like, what? He goes, heaven. And I wrote down, did he think he just instantly died? Stepped into the sunlight and immediately died, even though that's not how vampires die in this universe. That's not how vampires die in this, yeah, no. They do not burn, they just shine.

But Bella's like, he said, oh, you're here. She says, I'm here, I'm alive, you don't have to kill yourself. You don't have to kill yourself out of guilt, okay? I'll never see you again, but I'm fine and I'll be fine. And this is when he reveals that I'm never leaving you again. I was a lot his tone and how he delivers this line.

I was lying. Might as well say you idiot. I was fucking lying. And he oh my God, they're so bad to each other. This is where he's like, and you believed me so easily. No, it's so manipulative.

Also, she keeps saying, it doesn't make any sense that you love me. It's because I'm nothing. I'm nothing. I'm human. I'm nothing. It's so bad. Like, I'm just such a worthless piece of shit. I'm a worthless piece of shit.

You're everything to me. I'll never leave you again And they kiss And Just then The Volturi come out And they say Please follow us

It's Dakota Fanning Right? She comes out They bring Dakota Fanning out Jane And Jane And so Alice comes

And Edward and Belle And they have to go down To see the Volturi They give Edward A fabulous big red cloak To wear because he took a shirt off. So funny. And they go see the Volturi who are upset that a human knows so much about them. And what a shame.

We're going to have to kill her. And Edward fights them. He tries to fight them. And Edward fights them. He tries to fight them. And they're just about to kill him and pop his little head clean off. And Bella says, no, no, kill me. Not him.

Kill me. And they are just shocked. Whoa, you would give your life for a soulless vampire. And she says, you don't know a thing about his soul. Huge. They're flabbergasted by this. And Arrow's special gift is that he can touch your hand and read every thought you've ever had. And he realizes that Edward's gifts don't pass over to Bella.

And so he's like, well, that's very interesting. I wonder if I, my gift passes, if like I, my gift works on Bella holds her hand and it doesn't, he can't read her thoughts. Oh my God.

So crazy. Which the thing about this to me is Jasper's gifts work on Bella. And so do Alice's. So it's not, I was confused by this too, because in the beginning, didn't Jasper's gifts work on her? So I was, yes, they did. Yeah. And so do Alice's So it's not everyone I was confused by this too because in the beginning Didn't Jasper's gifts work on her Yes they did

And so do Alice's Maybe I don't think there's a rule That's just Stephanie Meyer being Juicy But so he decides to say Let's test and see if Jane's gift

Which Dakota Fanning works on her And Jane's gift is she can make anybody experience Unbelievable pain Pretty gnarly Perfect for Dakota Fanning Who has like a little smile when she's doing it She has such big eyes She looks great as a vampire

She really does A trivia is that The Cullen's eyes turn bright are like a light bright brown because they only have animal blood and the volturi's eyes are red because they drink human blood yum yum yum so just incredible attention to detail in the attention to also apparently kristen stewart was wearing brown contacts for the entirety of these movies because bella's eyes are brown. And that's apparently a really important thing.

And her eyes are not. And that just feels like that. Interesting. I feel like they look pretty natural and usually colored contacts. I feel like you can tell. I guess maybe brown is easier than like obviously a blue contact on a brown eyed person is much easier to maybe more. Yeah. Spot.

But I never know. I gotta say this. This trivia pisses me the hell off because it comes back around to one of my biggest problems with the Harry Potter movies, which are not great movies, that Harry has green eyes. Harry has green eyes. They talk about it all the fucking time. It's it is a plot point.

It is important. They talk about his mother's eyes and they're green. Didn't recognize blue eyes and they don't put them in any fucking context. And then when they hire the actress to be like that, this is his mom. He has her eyes. Her eyes are fucking green. It really pisses me off. It's such a stupid detail, but it's like one of those things like, seriously, just do it.

Right. We had the technology. Just being selective of what they're gonna Stick to Anyway Jane's power also doesn't work On Bella Yeah she does it to Edward makes him experience awful pain And then she tries to do it to Bella

And it doesn't work And so then Arrow says Oh okay well we'll kill you what a shame Your gifts would make for such An interesting immortal And just as he's about to try to kill Bella Alice taps in and says We'll kill you. What a shame your gifts would make for such an interesting immortal. And just as he's about to try to kill Bella, Alice taps in and says, wait, Bella is going to be one of us. I've seen it.

Because once again, her gifts do work on Bella. And Arrow holds her hand to try to see. And he sees a vision of Bella and Edward in like 18th century Irish clothes Like Running through the woods Why are they wearing these clothes They've never Very strange choice But they're running through the woods

And we see that in fact Bella is shiny In the sun and she is a vampire And Arrow is very happy about this But tells them So but tells them that, so he tells them they can go, but that to do it quickly. And so they have to, there's clock starts on turning Bella into a vampire.

They brought Bella back home. She's in her bed. Charlie comes in and tells her she's grounded forever. I mean, the stress that she has put her father through. Unbelievable. Um, um, he, he leaves and we see of course edward is up in her bedroom with her um and he's like it's gonna take a long time for

charlie to forgive me isn't it it's like yeah yeah remember how in the first movie you pretended that you broke up with her and she had a screaming match with you and then left her father and then almost died and now you left and she absolutely lost her mind for a whole year i mean charlie hates edward and he should someone in an abusive relationship that is yes those are the facts he is a bad bad bad toxic boyfriend and poor charlie anyway again we get a moment of Bell tells Edward You were able to He says Will you

Can you forgive me And she says You left so easily And he says It's the hardest thing I've ever done I'll never do it again And she says

Well when you When you turn me We're really gonna have to Be together forever So you better Fucking mean it And he With his shit again

Is like Actually I'm not gonna turn you into a vampire. Like, we can't. There are ways to avoid the Volturi. And she says, you're not going to want me anymore when I look like a grandma. And so they go to the Collins. And she says, the only way to decide this

is to put it to a vote. Very dumb. Again, this is sort of political information about vampires that I'm interested in. How do we decide things? We put them to vote. And she has them all vote about whether or not she's going to become a vampire. And Alice votes yes.

She says, I already see you as my sister. I vote yes. Jasper votes yes. It'd be nice to not want to kill you all the time. Jasper. Rosalie votes no. She says, I'm really grateful that you brought my brother back but this is not a choice that i would have made for myself so i vote no which every time rosalie

talks about that i'm like man that must make carlisle feel like absolute shit yeah because she really wishes that he hadn't done it to her and i don't know that would suck we get more on that in eclipse okay great we'll get more on that in Eclipse. Okay. Great. We'll get more on that in Eclipse. What's, this is terrible and I can't remember his name, but what's her boyfriend's name? Uh-oh. Big beefy stereo guy. Emmett votes yes. I love Emmett.

Esme. Right? Esme is her name? Esme, yeah. Esme votes yes. Part of Renesmee. Renesmee. I was like, I'm trying to think.

I could remember Renesmee, of course. Esme votes yes and Carlisle goes to vote and Edward, who's sulking up, looking like he's going to puke on the stairs, says, why are you doing this to me? And Carlisle says, you've decided that you won't live without her and I can't lose my son.

So I vote yes. And so they decide, alright, she tells Edward, I'll wait until after graduation To make it easier on Charlie And He's trying They oh Jacob shows up

And stands in front of their car in the middle of the road And they have to pull over Once again go into the woods this is how They do things the all conversations We had in the woods In the privacy of the woods in the privacy of the woods and in the privacy of the woods. And Edward says to Jacob, no,

I know you have something. I know you have something you want to say to me, but I just have, I want to say thank you for protecting Bella when I wasn't here. And he says, no, you weren't here and I didn't do it for your benefit. And he says,

nevertheless, I'm grateful um this is a real man and boy situation if you want to know yeah this is really spoken from a man who knows he's one like knows he's got the upper hand i feel like jacob says something extra bad here and i can't remember now what it's basically telling her she has to do something like you have to do what i say for some reason now I can't remember exactly what the line is but she's like oh oh it's because um if any cullen bites a human then the truce is over Jacob's like I'm here to remind you of a very important part of the truce and if any if any

cullen bites a human the truce is off and Edward says I haven't forgotten And Bella says well that's not fair it's my Choice and he goes You could never become one of them And She basically tells Jacob To fuck off she says Don't make me

Choose because I will not choose you So don't do it Because it's gonna be him Don't make me choose because I will not choose you. So don't do it. Because it's going to be him. It's always always been him. It's always going to be him. I feel like Bella is really being manipulative in this part, too, because she says she says she says, Jake, Jacob, I love you.

She says, I love you because I love you. She gets really close to him. Don't make me choose. Because I'll always choose him. What a brutal set of sentences to say. Really setting the bar high. Like, I love you. That was unnecessary. You did not need to tell this person that you

loved him. Especially when you're about to say She keeps telling him he's her best friend and it's like, really? I mean yeah these are three emotionally unhealthy people these are not yeah this uh they're the stakes of all these relationships are not appropriate but also i will say bella has literally never been wavering on that fact with jacob like it's edward it's edward edward's gone right now and maybe gone forever so i guess i will eventually let you kiss me that you keep trying to do it but she's never she's it's always been edward it's always been edward and lee and she does yes but it is she does say that and it should be clear to him and uh he

gets mad at something turns into a wolf Edward and him Act like they're about to fight Bella stands in between them and says You can't hurt each other without hurting me And Jacob gives her a sad little dog Look and runs Into the woods And

She says to Jacob You're gonna have to turn me soon Edward Sorry Edward yes thank you Gonna have to turn me soon Edward Sorry Edward Yes thank you Gonna have to turn me soon And he says Alright let's negotiate

Five years And she says No that's too long Wouldn't the Voltari Think that's too long too? I'm confused about that voice Yeah I think so

I think so He thinks that they can avoid The Voltari But The Voltagios As I now think of them But He Says okay fine Three years Avoid the vulture. But the Voltageos as I now think of them. But he says, okay, fine.

Three years. And she says, no. And he says, okay, fine. I have one condition. If you want me to do it myself. And she says, that is what I want. What's your condition? And he says, marry me. And she looks at him and she goes

and i can't believe that's how it ends also they stop playing the music they stop playing the music it's so dramatic he's marry me bella it's like what's the difference between staying together forever and marriage do you know what i mean they talk about that a lot in eclipse where she's like it's just it's very funny because this is where she is so obviously an 18 year old because she says no no i mean i'm gonna be with you forever i'm gonna be vampire and great but it's just like so weird to get married at eight oh does she not immediately like in our culture no she tries to fight upon it spoiler alert i mean they do get married yeah but she just

because she's also like how am i going to explain that to charlie and that is a good point because charlie is we ain't gonna be happy about this so but no i mean yeah they do get they do get married that does happen wow what a fine piece of cinema it really took the world by storm I mean it overtook The international imagination For several years I mean it turned these three Into unbelievable stars I mean the first one did

But I feel like this one even more They were Oh my god they were so massive And I feel like I forgot to I should have mentioned This movie has a 29% on And a 4.7 on IMDb

But it made so much money I mean how much money did these movies make Budget was 50 million It made 709.8 Million It made So much Twilight budget was 37 million million, and it made $407 million.

So, yeah. Let's look at Eclipse. This is fun. I just like the budget numbers. I love it. Eclipse budget $68 million, made $698 million. So, made less than New Moon, but cost more. $198 million, so made less than New Moon, but cost more.

I read a little blurb of Taylor Lautner saying that the Jacob versus Edward controversy in fans affected his ability to have a friendship with Robert Pattinson. I'm pretty sure there were other things that affected that friendship. If you look at their career paths, it's so funny to see what Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson did compared to Taylor Lautner. Taylor Lautner is nothing else. Because they're incredibly talented and he's terrible. I know. Both Breaking Dawn's budgets are over $100 million. But Breaking Dawn Part 2 is $136 million. And I feel like a lot of that's got to be above the line, right?

It's because of the star power yeah I think by Then they were so incredibly famous Yeah I mean these These movies were yeah they were Like earth shattering In terms of Little teens just losing their fucking Minds

Um man oh man it's such a good Time I really I can't believe it took me until basically my 30s to get invested in Twilight and I've got no regrets. Um, you know, I love Rob more than almost anything on my recent birthday poster made by dear friends of mine one of the uh featured people was a little picture of rob um because i love him so much they have incredible chemistry real life real life couple while the movies were filming it's really special stuff kristin made 2 million for twilight and then 12.5 million for each of the breaking dawns so 25 million wow that one two punch yeah she's gonna have a lot of money because she's worked so much and she's worked for such a long time i forgot she was in panic room oh i love her panic room was the first thing i saw her in she's been working

she's been working for good reason she's got star power wow did we see that robert pattinson is going to be in chloe zhao's next movie uh that is a dracula movie yeah fuck yeah absolutely exciting thrilled about that so we're getting another another rob vampire thank fucking god i wonder what's going on with his um pasta venture i wonder if that ever took So we're getting another another Rob vampire. Thank fucking God. I wonder what's going on with his pasta venture. I wonder if that ever took off. I do wonder. I wonder if it took off.

I haven't heard a freaking peep about. Was it? Piccolini Cucina. Maybe it's because it's like, you know, under harsh copyright stuff right now. They're keeping it under wraps. That's probably it. That's definitely it. So I've just looked up to see about the Twilight series, the TV series.

Let's see if I can get any information. And one of the first things that comes up is a Glamour UK article titled The Twilight Saga Romanticized Toxic Love. Do we really need a reboot? I mean, it's a fair question it's a really fair question i feel like great if they reimagined that if they could reimagine that dynamic it would be pretty fun it would be fun to see a new relationship dynamic happening in twilight teenage girls deserve better love stories they do, they do Oh yeah, yeah I mean, there's also the

Mentat, which we did talk about It's most prevalent in this one about like How important it is to be young and beautiful Forever, because then you Get disgusting immediately And worthless, and no one will want you I was thinking about that too, there are No, there are no like adult

Women in these movies at all. No, her mom's in the first one. And I think at some point she comes around in the, in breaking dawn when they get married. Yeah. But I feel like that's, yeah,

no, I mean, I feel like we probably have adult men. True. Yeah. I feel like we probably talked about this a bit in our twilight episode but i feel like the problematicness of it all is like part of the appeal in a fucked up way like it's like yeah um a lot of my enjoyment is laughing at how insane it is like i feel like that's part of the part of the charm for me yeah yeah the problem lies in like the way it

infiltrated the minds of teenage girls when it came out perhaps but um yeah right now as an adult i see nothing wrong with this i love it for what it is i I think it's, which is to say, this might be wrong. I've never vocalized this before, but I feel like, can we not trust like girls to grow up and form their own healthy opinions? I feel like part of it too. I feel like the same argument could be made about movies with lots of violence

and guns, like infiltrating the minds of children and like, absolutely. Which I feel like they do make their argument. It comes to like video games. games exactly and it's like but we're way more concerned with the fragility of young girls minds um well it's not just it's not just girls though it's also kind of reiterating this pattern for young boys too which is like it's okay to treat women this way and women will like it and want it.

I think just because the audience for this was so heavily female. No, and that obviously says something that it's so popular for a reason. Like, people love it for a reason. It's true. I enjoyed it more than I thought I was going to. Yeah. Henley, do you feel... They're incredibly enjoyable watches, I gotta say.

Excited to continue the series. I really want to watch the rest of the series. I kind of thought that that whole imprinting on the baby thing was going to be more present in the plot. It hits hard when it does. But I don't have to deal with it for a while. We don't know about it yet, but we will get there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no.

I'm really curious to see the other movies now. I really genuinely want to watch them yep they're oh we will a freaking delight man i love them i fucking love them i really do so so ridiculous and stupid and and fun and full of actors that I really love. What's going to be the next thing that takes hold? I mean, there is Twilight and the Hunger Games and this like rush of young adult stuff. I feel like we haven't had one of those in a while. What was the last big young adult thing?

Euphoria? Is there a void in the market? Do we need to write a teen series it's because the teens are just on like tiktok stars and what do teens like i guess teens are more into netflix stuff that i'm not aware of stranger things listeners if you know or if you are a teen what if you're a teen what do you like emma chamberlain i've said it once i've said it a million times timothee chalamet have we heard anything more about his relationship with kylie i haven't heard anything i think it's still going pictures of him babysitting

have those come out yet not yet but we stay tuned. I feel like it is happening. Okay. Anyway, this isn't relevant to Twilight. Yeah, we've really gone off the rails here. But I do think you're right. There's like an open space in the market for a big YA situation. So let's get our little brain time. I'll start with google search which is

what do teens like and i think going from there we'll be able to come up with something so stay tuned for the next greatest young adult series of our time written by three adult women who don't hang out with teens honestly perfect we perfect. We'll get there, though. We just need to have a religious bent. That's the only issue. We'll figure it out. Okay. Okay, well, thanks, everybody, for indulging us. If you have indulged us, perhaps you've turned this off.

And if that's the case, hey, I support you. But if you've listened all the way through, thanks so much. We will be doing Eclipse At some point As well as Breaking Dawn Part 1 and 2 Just simply must do them And see if we can turn Henley away From Team Jacob

I know that Sam is a lost cause But I still have my fingers crossed That I can get Henley on board I'm going in with an open mind baby We shall see And we will be back next month With a horror movie recap Henley on board. I'm going in with an open mind, baby. We shall see. We shall see. And we will be back next month with a horror movie recap. Don't worry.

A horror movie. It's fine. We're still doing it. Don't worry. We're still doing it. And I guess by the time this episode comes out, because this comes out on Friday, I guess just one last reminder that we'll have our evil dead rise live show that's a horror movie that's a horror movie a big timeline and you're gonna want to tune in it'll just be on

the main feed when you log into patreon i'll there'll be a post in the feed with a youtube link that you'll be able to click on at the at the time of the show which which is this Sunday, April 30th at 4 p.m. Pacific, 7 p.m. Eastern. So just watch this space. Watch the space. And we'll see you on Sunday. And then, of course, after the fact, you could watch it as a video. But if you want to be there with us live, Henley and I are sure to hate it. Ooh, I'm going to make it.

I'm going to make a drink. Sorry, Henley. Oops. Sorry. But I am going to have to do that. Maybe Henley. Oops. Sorry, but I am going to have to do that. Maybe make a mocktail. Make a little mocktail. Yeah.

Can't wait. Going to really hate it. It's going to be a good time. It's going to be awesome. I also can't wait. See you then, Tony Huns. We love you. We love you all very much. Bye-bye. Bye.

We did it. We made you. We love you all very much. Bye-bye. Bye. Bye. We did it. We made it. Thank you all for listening to another episode of Too Scary Didn't Watch. If you enjoy the show, please remember to subscribe and rate us on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Five stars only or we will haunt you. And if you simply can't get enough of us, we have good news for you. We have lots of bonus content available on our Patreon at patreon.com slash TSDW podcast.

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