Too Scary; Didn't Watch - THE WICKER MAN (2006) with Elizabeth Andrews and Waleed Mansour

Episode Date: September 13, 2023

The beessss, the beess!! This week we are joined by Elizabeth Andrews and Waleed Mansour (Sitcom D&D), to recap a perfect film in the Nicolas Cage canon, 2006's THE WICKER MAN! Neo-pagans, fertility rites, bear suits....somehow this movie is NOT Midsommar, but clearly we've discovered a reference point for Ari Aster.  Trailer Recap begins @ 29:41 Follow the show: @TSDWpodcast on Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram. Check out our Patreon for bonus episodes and additional content! Rate Too Scary; Didn’t Watch 5 Stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Emily, Henley, and Sammy. Advertise on Too Scary; Didn't Watch via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is Emily, Henley, and Sammy, and you're listening to Too Scary, Didn't Watch. Hi everyone, welcome to Too Scary, Didn't Watch, the horror movie recap podcast for those too scared to watch themselves. I'm Henley, and I am too scared to watch scary movies. I'm Sammy, and I love watching scary movies, and so I watch them so that you don't have to. And we have a batshit crazy one for you today. I can't wait to get into it. Henley, I also want to compliment you on that intro. You did an amazing job.

Sammy, we don't have to acknowledge it every single time. But man, man, it stresses me out. I just had to acknowledge it because you did it so flawlessly. It is, you know, after four years of weekly listening to that intro, you would think I wouldn't even bat an eye, but it's just too much. It's too much pressure. Um, well, you nailed it, you know? Thanks. I appreciate it. Oh, did anything scary happen to you this week? Do you want me to go first? Um, I can go first. Okay. You go first. So, so, so we're good. No, I, as listeners may know, just returned from a couple weeks in Europe. And I think the scary thing is just how dumb it feels to be American elsewhere.

So, so dumb. Everybody speaks one million languages and like knows history of all different countries, not just American history, not just American politics. I like felt so stupid constantly and was just like, wow, imagine being educated in another country, how that would have, how that might've been. I'm very jealous of all these people who are like, yeah, of course I know. Like, um, our friend, Nick, his wife, Carla, who knows Polish, Catalan, Spanish, French, and English just casually. It's like, she grew up speaking those languages. Like, his wife, Carla, who knows Polish, Catalan, Spanish, French, and English just casually. It's like she grew up speaking those languages. Like, of course, all of her friends did.

Yeah. Her dad's also Polish, so that helps. But I'm like, I know English and I know it poorly. Yeah. I don't even know it very well. Rocky. I'm learning Spanish. Last time I went, I have family in the Netherlands and they speak Dutch Afrikaans and English. And they were asking me if I speak Afrikaans cause I was born in South Africa, but I did not grow up there. And I do not speak Afrikaans, but so I was ashamed to admit that. No, I don't. And they were like, Oh, right. You're in California. So you obviously speak Spanish. And I was like, yeah, you would think you would think that that would be true. But unfortunately, it is not. Do you think it's, is it getting hot in here?

Is it getting hot in here? Oh, caliente. but I had a great time and I missed you guys a lot and I'm happy to be back we missed you so so so much and I feel like there's a chance you might be moving to Europe and that means that we would be in three different time zones that could be tough to coordinate really tricky really tricky but we'll we'll make it work no matter what, anything for the pod, anything for the pod. What about you, Henley? Uh, I don't know. I mean, I feel like I'm just going to talk about the same thing every week, which is my slow, slow, like dissolving de-evolution into a suburban mom housewife, because I think that's where it's terrifying. Honestly, I was getting drinks with some of our friends last night, Henley,

and they were like, is Henley okay? Like everything about her life seems really scary right now. For those who don't know, Henley recently moved to Greenwich, Connecticut. Her husband's a priest. She's a priest alive. She's eight months pregnant. Her teeth are loose. She's doing Invisalign. A lot going on. Okay. Okay. I have so many things to add to that list.

They might not sound important to you, but they're important to me, which is yesterday. This is huge. Got a Costco membership. Oh my God. Yes. Never had one in my life. Silas, my two year old having full meltdown in the Costco membership line, not a fan, not a fan of having to wait in this Costco. The man was very nice. We had to take pictures for our membership card. He was like, you can keep holding him. It's fine i have a picture it's me and silas my two-year-old mugging it for the camera looks like a full jc penny ad in the on the back of our like executive member costco card and i was like i was like this is it you know yeah like this is it i

know it's like an exciting day but it's also like a small death happened, I think. Small death. Small death. Doors are closing fast behind me. So I get used to this lifestyle. I feel like there are other things I wanted to tell you about living in the suburbs. Oh, well, we drove to get Tim's dry cleaning, which felt very suburban to me. Driving just to get pickup dry cleaning was crazy. Also, I still don't have a name for this baby.

And she's going to be here like in the next couple weeks. And I do not know what her name is. I have no idea. Maybe she can name herself. You just wait a little longer that that will take a while though you know i don't think we can hold out that long i think i had had this stroke of genius which is that we just let the listeners decide oh my god yeah put up a poll just do a poll we just do a poll you guys can just we got to make a really high Patreon level.

$100 tier. Name Henley's baby. Only $100. Only $100. That's it. That's it. And we'll take anything. No, I just am having a lot of trouble with female names.

I don't know. Picking a boy name was a lot easier for some reason. Picking a female name. I'm't know. Picking a boy name was a lot easier for some reason. Picking a female name, I'm having strong associations with every single name that crosses my plate. Like every single one. I'm like, Oh, I knew a girl. So my soccer team, second grade didn't like her very much. I don't think I can do it. So we'll see. I don't know. I don't know what our name is going to be. Listeners, TBD. Sound off in the comments. That would be pretty funny if I did.

We can do that. Instead of doing like a Halloween spooky movie poll, we can do a name Henley's baby poll. Well, you know, I like a name that can be a boy's name or a girl's name. And we happen to have one of those names in today's movie. So maybe you're going to find a name idea right here live on the pod. And for the rest of this child's life, they can say I was named after the Wicker Man. That's right.

Because that is this week's movie, the Wicker Man, the 2006 one, the Nicolas Cage one, written and directed by Neil LaButte, based on the 1973 screenplay by Anthony Schaefer, starring Nicolas Cage, Ellen Burstyn, Kate Behan, Francis Conroy, and Lili Sobieski. What is she up to these days? Haven't seen her in a long time. I forgot about her. I love her. So did I. She's great. It's available to rent for $2.99. And we have two guests with us today from fellow HeadGum podcast sitcom D&D. It is Waleed Mansoor and Elizabeth Andrews. Welcome to the pod.

Thank you for having us. Also available to run for $2.99. Oh, yeah99 Me and Elizabeth Yeah get on that Patreon tier Rent them Oh yeah We were just like vigorously nodding in agreement To everything you guys were saying Just like

We were just like yes I feel like I have a thousand things to respond to Just in those five minutes of chat Like I just got a Casca membership on Tuesday And I took the picture I had my baby there with me i'm i'm i'm so in the same boat yeah did you get abe in there abe's not in the pic abe's not in the pic but it's okay because i lost my membership card immediately i was so close i thought that i lost my husband and i thought we lost both of them after we in line and they were in like one of the bags. It was fine. But I was like, we just spent like 45 minutes doing that. We're gonna have to do it all over again.

Yeah, I got the app. So I think I'm okay. But Okay, great. an old person. I'm elderly and I'm living in an analog world still. I know that I could probably have done this online, but, okay, that's thrilling. I'm excited that we're both Costco members now. Man, formula went from paying $45 to $25. Y'all gotta get

the Costco. That's right. It pays for itself. It really does. If you have a baby. Sammy, do you have a Costco card? I don't yet. I do not. Okay really does. If you have a baby. Sammy, do you have a Costco card? I don't yet. I do not. Okay. Okay.

Just needed to make sure we had. I think it comes with a baby in a lot of states. True. Well, other than the small death of joining Costco, the victory and small death of joining Costco, did anything scary happen to you guys this week? You know, you asked me this question earlier this week. And the first thing that came up is my baby is now rolling. And I watched him.

I was right there at the edge of the bed. But I did watch him roll off the bed as I caught him. And I was like, oh, no, this is officially this is officially dangerous. He can no longer be in a high place, not buckled up. So that was like a big scary thing so that was the first thing that came up but then yesterday i will say wasn't that scary but i did go to a wedding at the houdini estate wow yeah lots of statues and photos and images of harry houdini all over the place was there a magic show at the wedding i hope oh no you wouldn't you would

think i've been to a wedding with a magic show and it wasn't at the h i hope oh no you wouldn't you would think i've been to a wedding with a magic show and it wasn't at the houdini estate have you really they didn't cut the bride in half they cut her dad in half her dad at that point it was so funny and yeah i'm really disappointed to hear they didn't do that at the houdini estate wedding yeah it was gorgeous though it was wonderful and it was gorgeous but yeah There was a Surprising lack of magic Going on Besides you know Love

Yes yes The true magic Love is magical The true magic Um I I did not Go to Europe

Or Expecting a child Or Um And But I did scare myself Uh I Ate Two This is tmi to meet you guys

handling sammy willie he won't be surprised by this but i ate too many flaming hot Cheetos one night. An easy mistake to make. I forgot that I did that and woke up the next day and I was like, oh, no, I'm dying. When I went to the bathroom, I thought it was blood. Like, I thought it was blood. And I was like, I'm dying. This is it. And then I was like, oh, yeah, my dumb ass. I had, like, way too many of those last night. How many is too many?

Like, is it like a full bag? Medically, the FDA says five. And I'll say I like ate a bunch and then I was like, I'm full. And then I ate more than that. Like I was like, oh, well, I filled a bowl to the top. And it was like near the end. I was like, well, I can't throw these away or put them back and I just have to eat them. So it was like just putting myself in a painful situation.

Have they done medical studies about this? Because I have heard so many people be about being addicted to flaming hot cheetos i'm pretty sure there's an addictive element i can't there's something yeah there's something in there there's absolutely something that cheetah does something it's the cheetah what's his name isn't his name sam oh chester That makes more sense than Sam. Sam. Isn't it my name? Is it my name? It's the only name I can think of. Henley, have you thought of naming your baby Sammy? Or Jada.

It would be really funny. We always circle back to how funny it would be if I named my child after one of my friends and didn't think it was weird and didn't mention it. I like yeah I'm Sammy you're gonna say something like without telling me that happens in the Fast and the Furious does it really oh my god that does yeah because I mean Paul Walker passes away in real life obviously but his character does not die in the movies and they do Vin Diesel does name his son Brian that's's right paul walker's character that's right yes whoa he's just a friend who's alive the movie is alive yeah just stay home with the kids go on vacation or something he's kind of a stay-at-home dad stay-at-home dad he sits out all

the all the missions and stuff yeah what an odd choice it's a really strange choice It's a really really strange choice And they constantly have to keep Justifying it And it's wonderful And it's the best series of all time Love those movies But what are your guys' feelings about

Horror movies in general Okay Elizabeth you want to start off Yeah I mean i in general i find them funny like i'm more of a um and especially this movie we're about to talk about this one is kind of objectively pretty funny yeah this one i was like watching i was like halfway through i was like this is a comedy this is this is a comedy but normally like yeah if it's like really scary I I just I don't know I my brain can just be

like oh how funny that they spent time making that and then doing this and like I don't know my brain goes there yeah but I do I will say i don't i don't mess with ghosts uh because i think i'm i'm vulnerable to spirits uh i don't know why i can't really explain that but um one time i went to just a quick i went to the the um shining in Colorado once. Spooky place. Spooky place. Went back to the place I was staying, slept that night with a friend in my bed. And apparently I screamed in my sleep. I was like screaming in my sleep.

And she woke me up and she was like, it was like you were screaming from your soul. And I was like, did I just get possessed? That's so scary. and so scary for her too yeah she was so cool about it she rolled over and went back to sleep i would not have been cool about it no no no no i laid their eyes open like i'm possessed and how am i going to be friends with my friends and how am i gonna be with my family so that's why i'm scared of ghosts uh ghost stuff i also get scared of ghost stuff and it's because I can't

Henley's the opposite. She's like not scared of ghosts and only scared of humans. Men. Serial killers. You're a pastor's wife. So you're protected. But I'm like I have bars on my windows. A man can't get in here but a ghost could. They don't care about bars.

They could get in here so i'm with you i can't afford to be scared of ghosts i think that that would just it would just be too much on my plate hell no you can't yeah there's so many ghosts there more than almost anywhere this house that we're living in was built in 1862 like i i cannot afford to be up with a newborn civil war no i know i know and civil war was like fucked up like really that's where most ghosts come from i think unfortunately yes so we're just trying to be friendly you know we're treading lightly every day that's wonderful Waleed how do you feel about horror movies uh this has been a

new thing in my life where I grew up not watching scary movies at all. And for a while, I think that I thought I didn't like scary movies because my parents didn't watch scary movies. My sisters didn't watch scary movies and I didn't really watch scary movies at all. And then more recently I've been watching some and I'm like, wait, these are wonderful. And I actually love them. Why did I not? I think it's just a math. It's just because I didn't watch it as a kid. it's I feel like I'm learning that I actually do really really like them like the first time I saw like any of the Jordan Peele movies or when I saw Midsommar for the first time I was really blown away uh and this this movie definitely has some Midsommar vibes but the opposite in terms of quality um but yeah uh so I now I love them and I'm trying to seek them out more.

And the only difficulty that I have is I feel like I want to watch them with people for the most part. I prefer to have somebody with me, not because I'm scared, but I think they're just an enjoyment to share. Absolutely. But my wife doesn't like scary movies and she is the person with whom I watch the most movies. So, yeah, I got to come most movies so yeah yeah well come on over yeah i gotta come on over i gotta come on over we wanted to watch this movie together but uh we our schedules didn't line up but there were so many moments in it that that made me think of lead uh so i'm excited to talk about it for sure same here um i was I was pretty blown away. I also, in terms of this movie, one of my big hobbies in life is watching bad movies. And so when I Rotten Tomatoed this movie and saw that it was at 15%, I was so overjoyed.

Overjoyed. It's 15%. 15% on Rotten Tomatoes. It's incredible. Yeah. And accurately so. Yeah. I'll tell you some stats. Yeah yeah 15% Rotten Tomatoes 36

on Metacritic which it's unusual that Metacritic is higher than Rotten Tomatoes and it's it happens when everyone agrees that the movie is bad and just like varying degrees of badness so Rotten Tomatoes is low because like yeah we all agree it's a bad movie but then Metacritic is like but how bad is it 36% 3.8 on IMDB so kind of a similar rating there i gave it two and a half stars on letterboxd that's a 50 i rated it higher because i had a really good time i enjoyed myself and you love nicholas cage i love nicholas cage i think there's a lot to enjoy about this movie um and so i yeah i gave it is this a first time watch for you it was a first time watch and i watched the original and this back to back which was a fun experience seeing the the quality differences yeah but some of it is a blast is is literally the same line same dialogue like they just lifted the script and then changed

things and somehow made it um much much worse in places we for real they use the same like yeah there are scenes that are word for word the same which i was pretty surprised by yeah now i gotta go watch the original I know Yeah I know I'm running I'm running after this recording What is the original from? What is that here? 1973 Stars Christopher Lee

Yeah Oh Yep Yeah The budget for this movie was $40 million It made $38.8 million Oh so close Real close

So close And some trivia for us Robin Hardy who is the writer or director rather of the original had his name removed from this film's credits he did not wish to be associated with it

yikes that's bad I thought this was funny Winona Ryder was offered a role and she turned it down because she hated the script yeah yeah it's like that that reason is thrown in there yep yep so you're telling me in the original a man goes to an island filled with women and yells at them it's just like the the women part is is just in this movie that's i feel like the original is kind of focused more on him being a religious guy and them being pagan and like that is the main conflict that he's having and

they changed in this movie to being this like yeah kind of um matriarchal society yeah he goes nicholas cage i don't want to Yeah, he goes, Nicolas Cage, I don't want to spoil, but he goes straight to this island that's filled with women and he just explosively yells at all of them. The whole movie. Just like out of nowhere for no reason. He's standing so close to everybody

and like, just screaming. I would like to know, like, I would like to see a list of Rotten Tomato rankings for Nicolas Cage movies. Like is it? I believe you can go to Rotten Tomatoes and just click on Nicolas Cage and I think you can get exactly that. Yeah, I mean is it

all pretty low? I feel like I doubt this is. Excuse me Henley, he's in some great movies. Yeah. He's won an Oscar. National Treasure. National Treasure. National Treasure for example. We all yelled National Treasure. henley he's in some great movies yeah he's won an oscar national natural treasure national treasure for example we all yelled natural treasure henley what did he win an oscar for um what the the vegas one i wish vampires ghost rider please ghost rider shoot i'm looking at ghost rider too embarrassing that i don't is it wild no not

wild at heart what's the vegas one he's in vegas he drinks a lot i don't know i have no idea i keep wanting to say fear and loathing but that's not what it is that's the only vegas uh nicholas i mean he's great like raising arizona i mean i bet you face off has a surprisingly high ron tomato scoring like con air My guess is those have over 80% on Rotten Tomatoes. Leaving Las Vegas. It's called Leaving Las Vegas. There it is. Okay. There it is.

This movie was nominated for five Razzies. Hell yeah. Let's do it. Didn't win any of them. Basic Instinct 2 really cleaned up that year. Oh my god, they made a sequel to base basic i guess she crosses her legs the other way the other way that's perfect we'll lead recently watched that and it was very good and the scene where she crosses and uncrosses her legs is actually genuinely shocking

because i wasn't part of a horror i was like whoa and like kind of a crime right because i don't think she agreed to that i didn't know she knew that that was in the frame which is very fucked up guys guys full crime a full crime that's a full crime Pig has 97% On Rotten Tomatoes just so everybody knows Pig highest rated film Oh Pig I fucking love Pig I've never seen it Pig is unreal I love Pig

Damn this one is like not even Close to his lowest rated movie Deadfall 0% A Thousand Words 0% Never even heard of that%. A Thousand Words? 0%. Never even heard of that one. A Thousand Words? Arsenal? 3%. Yeah, we've got some single digits and some zeros in here.

I truly... Any other man yelling at all these women, I'd be like, ugh, whatever. But for some reason, Nicolas Cage, he pulls it off. And I'm like, I'm like, yes, man. When when he i know we can't get i want to get some specifics when he goes into the classroom that's filled with a bunch of girl

children he goes up so much confidence for not knowing what he's doing or what's going on. He comes in and he erases whatever's on the board. I wrote that down too. What a power move. What a power move. He like erases and then he writes the name of the missing child on there. And he's like, that's what I'm looking for. He's like, screw your lesson plan. Yeah.

He's like, this is my class now. I'm the teacher. I don't care about your education, wild behavior yeah okay let's watch this trailer before we get into it and i gotta say this is also one of the worst trailers i've ever seen so we're starting it off right here great Afternoon. Sorry about that. It's okay. I'll get it. Give me your hand! Edward, I know that we haven't spoken in a few years. I need your help.

I need your help. I have a daughter. Her name is Rowan. She has been missing for two weeks now. I fear she is in danger, so now I turn to you. Be careful and believe nothing that you see or hear. Lost your bearings? Hey, sorry. Snuck up on me there.

This is private property. Do you know her? I don't recognize this child. Welcome. My little girl is still here she has been taken by who i don't know i'll find her if she existed we would know of her whose desk is this hello hmm? Rowan? Hello?

You suspect foul play. Hey! The Wicker Man returns. Who's the Wicker Man? I'm gonna search every inch of this town. She'll burn to death. She burns to death. you should have killed. She'll burn to death. She burns to death. I need your help.

Beautiful. Daddy. Unbelievable. Really insane trailer. I just, whoa. Can't believe it, yeah. Henley, since you did not watch that, how do you feel after watching that trailer?

I feel overwhelmed. I feel like Nicolas Cage's acting absolutely never disappoints. Just the shot of him holding his face and pulling down on his cheeks. It's like he makes these choices where you're like, no one else would have chosen to do that. That is a really strange choice and it works. I guess it works. It's only for you though, Nicholas Cage. It I guess it works. It's only for you, though, Nicolas Cage.

It's just for you. It's just for you. His reactions are so over the top. Like when the phone rings, he like practically jumps out of his chair. And I'm like, what a way to live. Like he's just like everything he's doing is just like over the top. I was pretty disappointed that in the trailer they don't include what is my favorite line in the whole movie and it's in the scene he goes to the

classroom he points at the desk he goes he's like what's on that desk and he walks over with his finger pointed and then he opens and the raven flies out which is in the trailer but what they don't include in the trailer is that when he opens it he goes what there's so many incredible moments in this film again i had a really good time this is this is a recommend for me i feel like. Natalie, you should watch it. Yeah. I would have a good time. The trailer actually made it look scarier than it is. It's not. Okay. That scary.

At most, I'd call it a thriller. Like suspenseful. Like what's going on this island? Why are all these women here and these bees? Also, yeah. My question is, what's going on with the bees? Like, so they sacrifice a man every year for the bees is that we'll get we'll get into it i think i think i get it i think i have answers

sammy i need you for for that question okay i think that everything tracks and everything is makes a hundred percent sense i agree in the past few years I have hit a point where I only want to be wearing clothes that are comfortable. It happened. It happened to me. But you know what? I still also want to look cute. And these are two desires that are often extremely opposing. And I don't want to have to sacrifice. I want both. I want comfort. And I want to feel cute and confident.

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point. I have that written down as well. There's a few things right in the beginning that immediately shocked me. Yeah. Papyrus right off the bat. One of the things that I will say, I was like, oh, because I knew where the movie was going a little bit from the trailer slash memes online. I will say I was impressed that the very first time you see nicholas cage they're at a diner is his there's another cop there and then uh his plate arrives and we still haven't seen nicholas cage and the waitress goes honey and then he turns around and that i was like okay that's i'm on board let's get to bees one crazy thing that happens even before that is there is another patron in this diner that finishes up paying and this patron is played by aaron eckhart for for no reason that was aaron

eckhart yeah oh gosh, I thought it looked like him and I was like, what? It's him. No way. He's in the credits. Yeah, he's credited. No. Just for that. I didn't notice. So, not sure why that happened. Amazing. And he's not, he's well known at that time. He's not

unfamous. Yeah. He must have been a friend of the director or something. Or he was like walking through On set Turns out he's in the back Of almost every shot in the movie We watch it and it's like He's there the whole time

Do you just see him? Does he have a line Or anything? I think he says thank you For he's like finishing up paying the bill And he's like thanks see you later Or something Immediately distracting Immediately pulls you out of the movie you're like wait what is happening yeah five seconds in and you're like huh and then another detail that i really love is that nicholas cage before he's called over he's looking at a rack of books and self-help tapes and he picks one called everything's okay it's a set of tapes i love that i don't know why this okay i know i said everything makes a

hundred percent sense but this i didn't i don't quite know what they were trying to trying to do with this it does come up later at one point is they go missing and he asked where they are and then we never have you seen my tapes they never refer to them what an embarrassing question to ask yeah i for sure would never bring it up ever never tell anybody about it so funny but yeah so so um nicholas cage his character's name is edward malus he's a cop we see him kind of going about his cop business a highway cop he's like motorcycling yeah he's like pulling people over and a little doll gets thrown out of car window he scoops it up while he's driving pretty impressive that's the

save the cat moment so you're on his side instead of save the doll right he saves it pulls over the uh pulls over the driver and it's like a mom and her daughter in the back seat she immediately is so apologetic she immediately is like sorry sorry She's kind of just been like a brat is basically what she says. Totally throwing her kid under the bus. Basically calling her kid a bitch right in front of the cop. Like, damn. I thought I thought it had fallen off the roof or something. I thought the doll had like fallen off the roof.

It was so wild just how quickly the mom was like daughter did it not my fault she daughter has the audacity to throw the doll back out of the window onto the road wow nicholas cage goes oh he's like don't and mom's like don't do that and nicholas cage is such a little bitch yeah it's not being such a little piece of crap also she's like 11 years old right and she's playing with a doll that may be for four or five year olds yeah too old everything about this situation is off i got a question for sure is the doll dressed like rowan does the doll have like a little sweater? A little red sweater? Yes. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Damn, Willie. You were watching

this movie. I was watching this movie. And I did. I was watching it so much that I think I could tell that this never pays off in any way. Again, I think it does. You think it does? Oh my god, Sammy. Yep. Yep. I don't think... I googled if they came back and Google told me that they did.

Oh, it said no? Google said no. Reddit said no. But also, I will say, there are so many little blonde white girls and older blonde white ladies. It was impossible to tell them apart. Impossible. I agree.

I only could tell from the six feet under woman Because I love that woman Two six feet under women The hot rabbi is also in it Oh my god She's the teacher I'm not done with six feet under So no spoilers I'm watching it right now

Okay so good So good So good But so yeah As he goes to scoop up this doll to return it to the bratty little kid, a huge truck plows into their car. Really shocking. Truly shocking. Like blew me away when that happened.

He tries to break the window to get the little girl out, but the car explodes and throws him backwards and he can't save them and well she doesn't even react so she's like oh yeah she's just like he's like give me your hand and she's just staring at him creepily yeah which she had already done a little bit earlier yeah she's a she'd rather die than like she doesn't want to be rescued not by you sir i gotta say I literally Didn't look up anything about this movie And I never watched the original So I literally was walking into this blind

And when that semi hit that car I was like what movie Am I watching And then also It smashes the car He goes he breaks the back window He reaches out give Give me your hand. Give me your hand.

She just looks at him creepily. Car explodes. He blows back. Wicker Man. Oh, yeah. Title of the movie. Title. Wait, what?

What? Why title now? That was surprising. That was more surprising than the car hitting the truck into the car. What's the title sequence after a mother and daughter get plowed um and yeah we see after you know at some some time has passed he's he's taken pills he's traumatized from this incident he really not doing well replays it a lot he's not doing well

and he they say that they never found the bodies which is impossible i think based on what we just saw unless they were incinerated completely incinerated i don't think it was that big of an explosion yeah and the cop another cop a female cop is telling him this like a friend of his from the force. And she is, I can't express how unconcerned she is that these bodies aren't in the car. She's like, yeah, they never found them. Don't get so worked up about it. It's fine. They're just vaporized bodies.

Because I think she's more concerned with hitting on him. Didn't you get the vibe that she was like, yeaholas nicholas stamp out of it i'm in love with you yeah but he's too concerned about this this wife again and he gets a letter he gets yeah he gets the mail from the force including a letter that's written in on 1800s parchment paper with like quill and ink inviting him to the island from his ex his ex Willow is like you know I know things ended bad

and that was kind of my fault I'm sorry about it my daughter's missing need you to come to Summer's Isle and come help because you're a cop yep so he goes oh yeah to Summer's Isle and come help because you're a cop. Yep. So he goes. Call to action. So he goes. Oh, yeah.

He goes and it's like a hard to get to place, a private little island. Is it off the coast of Washington? Is that where they are? It is off the coast of Washington. So he is a California cop going to this island off the coast of Washington. Oh, my gosh. That's where I'm from. I'm from Washington State. Did you recognize Summer's Isle? Yeah. Actually. That's where I'm from. I'm from Washington State. Did you recognize

Somerset? Yeah, actually. You spent a lot of time. I feel right. And so he has to take a little seaplane there and he finds this pilot. I love this scene. And he walks up and goes, Ahoy there! And the pilot looks at him like,

What the fuck? Why did you just say that? And he's like, I just thought, I don't know. Oh, it really made me laugh. Maybe he improvised that. Do you think? I hope. I hope so. It feels like it. If that was scripted, that's surprising. Similar with the what? Opening the desk and saying what? Do you think that was scripted i don't think there's no way that was scripted so the reason i love this scene so much is because the pilot he's like uh the guy's like hey do you know where someone's at isla's he's like yeah i i do deliveries there every day i do these daily and he's like oh cool can i hitch a ride with you and he's like whoa

whoa these are very private people and where i'm from privacy matters okay these are i'm taking the moral high ground here and you will not go on my plane to that island and nick kate says well what about me what if me and my friends join you he goes friends he's like yeah me and grant and his twin brother ulysses and he pulls out $100. It's $100. The price to name Henley's baby. $100. This guy's moral character goes out the window. He's like, oh, $100. Yeah, great. I'll do anything.

I'll do anything. He starts foaming at the mouth. He's foaming at the mouth. He's like, get in, get in, get in. Get in there faster. They pay me in, get in. Get in, get in. Get in there faster. They pay me in buttons and honey. Yeah. Holy hell.

They make it to the island. Get to the island. And then my favorite thing happens. This is a great interaction, this intro. Yeah. He sees some of the people that live there. It's a couple women and some men with a burlap sack that seems to be dripping blood.

They're like, why are you here? You're not allowed to be here. You don't have clearance. He's like, I'm a cop. I'm allowed to be wherever I want to be basically. Already screaming. Already confident. To which they're kind of like, what's a cop? What? Yeah, they're kind of like,

huh? And he's like, a police officer. And they still are a little thrown. These three people. However, other people on the island are like, hey, you're from California. You don't have jurisdiction here. So some of the people on the island understand how jurisdiction works. While other people have never heard of a cop before. Great point.

Incredible. But my favorite line happens. He's looking suspiciously at this bag that's... Which is wriggling. Wriggling and dripping with blood. And he goes, what is that, a shark or something? I think that's scripted, too. The craziest line.

No, I think he improvised the whole thing. Well, everyone else was on script. It sounds like it. That's giving me audition vibes, unfortunately. Much more terrifying, horrible film than this one.

Yeah. Oh. Yeah, don't worry. We're not going to audition territory today. Thank God. Then they're like, do you want to look in the back? So he's like, yeah, I'll look in the back. don't worry we're not we're not go we're not going to audition territory today thank god thank god but then they're like do you want to look in the back so he's like yeah i'll look in the back and he goes to look in the back and they kind of shake it out and they go like oh and and then he just

doesn't look in the bag and we don't we never learn what's in it and he runs away yeah he gets spooked he gets scared he says oh you just scared me with that bag. Yeah, a little bit. Like, he just walks away and we're just left being like, okay, dot, dot, dot. There's, I feel like, a few scenes that end like that, where they're just like, alright, I guess we'll end this scene now. We'll move on to the next scene. Oh. But yeah, he goes

to the, oh, he's got a little photo of Rowan. Yeah. And he's showing it to them, and everyone's saying they don't recognize heran and he's showing it to them and everyone's saying they don't they don't recognize her. And he brings up Willow. Willow. This is Willow's daughter. They say we know Willow, but that's that's not her daughter.

And we've never seen that girl before. Gaslighting. Yeah. And we get he gets a room at the at the local tavern. Yes. Sorry. But isn't the photo of the girl the same as the girl in the car that gets smashed? No, this is what I'm saying.

All little white girls look the same in this movie. They look so similar. Wait, I thought that. That's what I thought. That's what I really thought from the trailer. I thought that that was the same girl. Hold on, Elizabeth. Did you think that was the same girl the whole time you watched the movie?

Yeah, Waleed. I mean, we watch movies differently, all right? You're critically thinking and I'm just vaguely catching things. They're two little blonde girls with pigtails. Don't do that to me. I thought that same thing watching the trailer. I just made that assumption. I was like, that's the same girl. Sadly, I watched the whole movie. So they're two different girls. Sadly, I watched the whole movie. So, pause that. So, they're two different girls.

Two different girls. I think it's so that he has trauma and feels all this guilt. And he's like, I need to redeem myself with a little blonde girl because I messed it up last time. Yeah, throughout the movie, he has like dream flashbacks of the crash. He like constantly is like having flashbacks and be like, this is why it's important to him. Okay. But they're not connected. Unconnected. But it's not connect.

I, I Google to me to told me that it never comes up again. It sounds like Sammy, maybe you think that. I have an idea. You think that they're at the end. I think I saw something. Yeah.

Yeah. They kind of, there was a shot. There was a shot in the movie to me where I'm like, oh, they're revealing that these are the people from the car accident. But once again, it's impossible to tell all these people apart. It's really hard. It was really tough.

You're right. All white blonde ladies and girls. Yeah. So he gets a room at this tavern and enter Willow.'t that when she and willow's works there yeah it's this part's really strange for me too because the whole island is basically like you can't be here it's a private island you can't be here you can't be here and then he's like

can i have a room and they give him a room and he doesn't use the fact that he knows willow like him and willow's knowledge of one another is on the down low. It's like a secret that they know each other. So I just don't understand why they're letting him stay on the island. I guess I know in the long run, but it feels, it felt very strange to me. I'm like, it was a really weird scene. Yeah. Why not just be like Willow?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It seems, but I think it's because we're trying to think that, or I think they're trying to get across that Willow's like scared of the people on the island. And so she's trying to be discreet about that. The fact that she's getting help to investigate all of them because she doesn't know who's taking her daughter, who's who can be trusted, who can't be. But, yeah, everyone seems unhappy that he is here and while he's at the counter of the tavern a bee flies up and he smashes it with a cup and everyone in the tavern and i also was like

it's like a cute little bumblebee and they look very offended by this so he's not setting a good tone here but then we see that he has epipens and he's allergic to bee sting so that's that makes sense i thought that was a fly so when he smashes it and says i'm allergic i said you can be allergic to flies wait maybe you can i don't know i feel like people have weird allergies someone was allergic to chicken which i didn't know you could be allergic to chicken. Flies is funny. Also weird, this morning there was a huge fly flying around my kitchen and Silas, my two-year-old, kept going, he kept going, bee, bee. He thought it was a bee the whole time.

So you got a bee confused with a fly silas got a fly confused with a bee once again a two-year-old to a 32-year-old i don't want to say it i really hurt to not bring it up so i appreciate that you did it yeah you don't worry i got you okay so him and willow have seen each other yes they are are not and she she hands him a note yeah she hands him a note that's like let's have a secret little meeting and they do and she basically yeah just says like i don't know who to trust i the only person i can trust is you and he asks who's the father he says why

why are you asking me where's the father of this child? And she says, like, you're the only person I trust. So we don't even get an answer. Is it him? Is he the father? So they meet up. Well, my other question is, sorry, but like,

is he immediately asking after this child? He's immediately investigating? Yeah. Loudly and's immediately investigating? Yeah. Loudly and aggressively. Constantly. When he gets to the hotel, he does turn around, hold up the picture, and he's like, I'm a cop. Everybody, look. I'm going to introduce each and every last one of you. To everyone.

So, what if people automatically be like, oh, are you with Willow? Or like, don't you guys know each other? Yeah. Yes. Yes. And pretending that Willow yes yes that roman doesn't exist right so they're they're like you're kind of nuts everyone is acting like they don't know we've never heard of roman we don't know why we don't know what that picture is

yes and after he has this little secret meeting with willow is when he goes back to his room and he's like somebody took my tapes excuse me miss have you seen my tapes they're called everything's okay and i feel like this is a device by the screenwriter to be like this will be the moment where we know everything's not okay oh that is incredible if that's why that's there i think you're right and that's amazing i can't think of any other purpose for it. That's amazing. I mean, and that's really where it starts to not be okay. Right. Exactly. Oh my God. Does he meet up with Willow before he finds the bees?

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I mean, I feel like the whole movie is just him meeting up with Willow and then investigating some more,

like kind of goes back and forth between that a few times. So the next main scene is him going so he goes and he talks to like lily so i see a mousky so so bsc uh and he's like talking to her he's like hey do you know where i can find willow she's like she's at the school so you have to go to the school but at one point lily's like when you leave take me with you and he's like oh yeah that was one of the other scenes that i was like okay we're just ending that scene here now yeah okay also the directions of the school i did write down were up the hill and through the woods which to me i think are horrible directions on a huge island that is mostly woods to say up the hill and through the woods guaranteed you're lost 100 you're lost immediate she also tells him that because he doesn't have honey for his tea or

something and she tells him there's no honey right now and he's like aren't there so many bees on this island why don't you have honey for he's like such a dick about it because it's a little bear it's like a little bear squeezy bottle and i noted that i was like what the heck this is a honey island store bought you guys should make honey and she tells him that their crop did not turn out well which every establishment i go to i always yell that i go you guys buy honey? What the fuck is this? What the fuck is this? You guys don't make your own honey? Like, what are you doing? Yeah, he doesn't know about the whole honey thing. He hasn't met the bees at all.

He's just like screaming. He's just an asshole. He is an asshole in this. It's hilarious. You know what's so funny is that while I was watching it, I feel like I didn't even read it as asshole and only now in revisiting it. I'm like, oh, he is a dick the whole time.

But I think just because of my feelings about Nicolas Cage, like you were saying earlier, he just really pulls it off in a way that I'm like, oh, it's just like Nicolas Cage being Nicolas Cage. I'm just laughing. Also, he's just being gaslit the whole movie. The whole movie is just him getting gaslit because he gets to the he gets to the school he's like hey i'm looking for rowan he races the white board and then he turns around and says the name that he wrote down which is hysterical to me

could have just said it passes around the picture every student is like nope we don't know who that is don't know who that is teach us on who it is. He snatches the ledger, the attendance book, opens it up. Rowan's name is in there. Crossed off. Crossed off. Crossed off. And then that's when he cue the desk. And she's like, whose desk is that? One empty desk.

Bird. Cue bird. Cue what? What? Oh, my god. And he starts screaming at him. You are all a bunch of little liars. You're the biggest liar of all the teachers. He's screaming at the whole class. He's like, what the fuck?

It is true. But a man yelling at a bunch of little girls saying that they're all liars. She's like, can I talk to you outside? Can we talk outside? And they go outside and she's real cryptic but kind of implies that Rowan is dead.

Like, we would tell you if she existed. She's phrasing things real weird and he's like, what do you mean? She doesn't exist. Do you mean she's dead? And she's like, we don't say that word here. It's a very bizarre interaction Later she does say death

In the movie she does say death after specifically saying we don't use that word Yeah, nothing she says makes sense here But he's asking how did she die if she's dead And she says she will burn to death Implying in the future And then he's like, what did you say? And she says, I will burn to death, implying in the future. And then he's like, what did you say? And she says, I said she burned to death. Gaslighting.

Past tense. Gaslighting. And he's really scratching his head. The fuck is going on here? Also, bird, the bird. Any follow up on the bird being in the desk? Never keep me in the desk to see how long it would live is what one of the little girls said. Just some light animal

torture yeah one scene that we did that we didn't miss uh that i realized is uh the first night that he's there he looks out the window he hears something and he sees somebody dressed in rowan's outfit from the picture outside running away so he goes to like go After her in what I think is Maybe the slowest chase that If I saw a little girl that was missing If I saw a missing little girl I would be sprinting at full speed That's just my point of view

Maybe as a father maybe that's what's Different but he's kind of just like Kind of lightly walking To go by this And then she ends up disappearing Is what happens there So that's kind of funny And he's been having like

Visions of the other little girl And so it's We're not sure if maybe he Aced a pop of his pills So we're like Was that real? Was it not? So fair

We're not sure But yeah So after he has this Interaction with the teacher He Goes to find a grave. He finds a freshly dug and buried small child-sized grave. And he's like, hmm, this could be Rowan.

Willow shows up. Willow shows up and is like, nope, that's not her. I know it's not her. They did it. She's still alive. They did that. I don't know who's doing this. He's just getting yanked around, yeah around and then she shows him the like underground crypt for some reason i

can't remember why but just to be like this will come back later she understands foreshadowing yeah yeah oh and this is do where we learn you're were right, Emily. He's a father, which is a huge shocker to all of us, I know. Massive shocker. You have a daughter from back eight years and nine months ago when we were having sex. That's my kid. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't even think about that timing.

So she just while they're in the crypt, she's like, by the way. She's like, I can't let them do this to our daughter. And then she goes, oh, like, oops. I was able to keep it a secret for this long until I let it slip just now. So now he's got like a fire under his ass to like find her. Yeah, he's reinvigorated. So he gets even more aggressive. Not that he was ever not invigorated he's been yeah screaming at people this whole time and yeah it's amped up now even more so then he goes down to the docks i think is like the next thing i he

goes down to the dock because the plane is there and um he kind of he just wants to he's been doing cell phone trying to find he has no service he's like oh the plane probably has a radio so we're good to go that i'll use the radio also in that first scene where he meets the townspeople they're like how did you get to this island and how did you get to this island he's like um well and they're like did the pilot take you and he's like well i i mean and they're like huh we're gonna have to do something about that pilot basically is what they say they say. Okay. So now the plane is just floating in the water. And on the dock, they do. This is also a top scene for me. He's on the dock, and he looks, and he sees a dead body floating under the water, under the dock.

And he dives, and he goes under, and it's Rowan. It's Rowan's body. And then it goes black, and it's like a flash, and he's sitting on the dock and he dives and he goes under and it's rowan it's rowan's body and then it goes black and he's it's like a flash and he's sitting on the dock and it was like oh that was just a vision and then we zoom out and we see that he's holding rowan's dead body and that also was a vision so we did it's like a double nap situation a dream within a dream within a dream is what just happened. And he took the time to take things off before he jumped in the water. Yeah, he did take his free time.

Yeah, that's fair. Once again, didn't run after the child in the night and didn't, had to take his shoes off. Yeah. And then he swims out to the plane and the radio is like all busted. The pilot's not in there. Radio is broken so things are getting

not everything is not okay everything is not okay those damn tapes to talk them down but so then he earlier we saw that there was there was photos on the wall of the of the bar

basically like the midsommar photos of the may queen type thing it's like each year at the festival they take a photo of a little girl but the photo from last year is missing and smashed just destroyed just the night before he arrived can you believe it and so he tracks down the photographer's house who is also the doctor of the island and this is francis conroy from six feet under and uh he's asking if she can print or she tells him i don't have a copy but i have the negative i can print you another one and but i have to go right now so i can't do it right now. Wait, sorry. I know you mentioned this before, but just to confirm, everyone's a woman. Is he like the only man?

Good question. Good question. It's there are some there are some men, but none of them ever talk. And they're all doing like physical labor tasks as it should be. And also, here we go. This is another top scene for me is at one point he he passes a bunch of guys one of whom is like loading logs up onto a trailer and he's like he's like hey you need help with that and the guy like silent like nods but doesn't say anything and he helps him lift a log and then as

soon as he does it like 30 logs fall off the trailer onto them he like saves the guy he like throws him out of the way saves him and he's like uh hey watch out or whatever and the guy doesn't say anything he's like what you're not gonna say anything and then he leaves he helped him Yeah And then left But so after The photographer Doctor woman leaves her house With some beekeepers who have Pretty weird

Kind of creepy It's squid game masks Oh yeah yeah They are wearing they have like beekeeper masks But it looks exactly like the people From squid game Yeah that's right Ahead of their time They are wearing, they have like beekeeper masks, but it looks exactly like the people from Squid Game. Yeah, yeah, that's right. And ahead of their time.

And he breaks into her house after she leaves and is snooping around, finds some text that talks about human sacrifice to help the crops. sacrifice um to help the crops if there's a bad harvest year that you need to up your sacrifices essentially in order to appease the the gods goddesses and the photo is of a child i think the sketch in the book is like a child sacrifice and so he's like oh shit they're planning to sacrifice rowan because of the crops well because he finds the negative he does find the boda that was missing right and he finds that it was rowan was the last may queen or whatever things are kind of coming together because the harvest was bad it's her fault is what we as an audience are to surmise yep yep i see not good may queen a literal may queen is that what it's called i mean it's may 1st so i think it would be they don't say may

queen in it but i think it's yeah i think that's fair yeah i think okay also pretty shocked that they that this island that doesn't have like any electricity has color photography that kind of surprised me yeah yeah um so he's going back out doing more investigating and he meets back up with willow the other thing that he does um and i think he's really angry with her now he's like screaming at her again and it's just like why didn't you tell me that she was involved in this in the festival and they're i think they're going to sacrifice her. I don't know if he says that, but he's like really yelling at her. And then she is looking scared. And then for some reason they kiss.

And I don't I don't really remember why. But it it it evolves into a jarring. Yeah. Yeah. Jarring. Yeah. I did write down. I feel a little bit bad saying this

But I did write down Willow is useless Why did she go back? Does she know things or not? It's so like Absolutely like You're being the least helpful For somebody that has a missing daughter

Like being so, so unhelpful Yeah, so I guess Yeah, he's yelling at her Because he's like Why aren't you telling me anything Because I'm out here doing A lot of leg work and you're not Really helping

So yeah he is right And then He goes back out to Explore more and talk to more people And run this is where he Finds the bee hives. Thank you. Okay.

Okay. Bees. The bees. He finds the bees. He's at the edge of like a bee sanctuary field full of bees. He's at the very edge, encounters a bee, sees. He has to see that there are so many bees in front of him. And where he just came from from obviously there wasn't any so which direction would you go there's not any behind him and

there's so many in front of him he gets stung and he keeps running and stumbling forward into more and more bees like they turn around it's com comical, Henley. It's comical. It's amazing. It's incredible. This is a clown clowning. This is a clown. Where's his EpiPen? He pulls it out. But he passes out before he has a chance to use it.

He's too late. And he wakes up with the doctor slash photographer t attending to him. And she says we're in the home of Sister Summer's Isle, who has been referenced before as kind of maybe the leader of this community. Oh, yeah. And they call each other sister. Yeah, they call everybody calls each other sister. I was really surprised in this moment to learn that Sister Summer's Isle is a real person.

Right. Because the place is called Summer's Isle. It's called Summer's Isle. And earlier, Willow, he's like, who the heck is Sister Summer's Isle? And Willow's like, she's everything. She's the tree. She's the earth. She's the wind. And then it's like, no, she's just the person.

She just actually is another human being. Oh, she's just a person. Yeah. That was really, really surprising. Wait, do we meet her? Did we meet her? Um, well, one thing, the doctor says that I just wanted to know what you guys interpreted this as. Cause it kind of confused me. He he's, he has, you know, big lumps on his arm where there was, where he's been stung and he looks at her and he's like did you use my my epi pen my kit and she says we we uh i treated the danger in the old way

and they kind of stare at each other for like 10 seconds and i thought he was gonna lift that blanket up and his legs were amputated and i was like we're gonna have like an amputation but that's not the case and i just don't know what she means by that i think blood replaced with honey that's i think what it is blood replaced or like sucked it out with her mouth that's kind of the next thing i came to something weird happened here but it also doesn't really matter because it never comes up again. Never comes up again. No. Don't need to be worried about it. They just don't believe in modern medicine.

Yeah. In this community. Right. They're just practicing rights. They're doing something with Earth. Yeah. With the leaves and the trees and the bees. I think she sucked it out with her mouth.

The old way. But then, yes, now we meet Sister Summer's Isle. And Edward has been looking for her because he wants permission to exhume the grave that he suspects might be Willow. But they have a little meeting. This is Ellen Burstyn. Oh, she's great. And they have a little meeting. They're like, let's go for a little meeting this is Ellen Burstyn oh she's great and they have a little meeting they're like let's go for a little walk and where they walk is five feet from where all the bees are that could kill him nice nice and they're like constantly flying on him and he's

swatting at them which is just like not the way to to kill a bee yeah just is like he's swatting them onto his own skin. It's like, well, you're going to get stung doing that. He probably was like also improvising all of that. So they're like, God damn, now we have to put a CGI bee in here. He was like doing that. Makes no sense if there isn't one. Also, this is such a weird scripting that happens in this scene. It's like early on in the conversation, he's like, I want to exhume this body.

And she's like, yeah, do whatever you need to do. And then they talk for like five more minutes. At the end, he's like, all I want to do is exhume the body. And she's like, I thought I already said that. He's like, oh, OK. I told you you could. It's such a weird thing to put in a script. It is very bizarre. It's really weird to have that interaction twice

it's really strange really weird but yeah she gives him like a little background on the um she's like my celtic ancestors rebelled against the suppression of the feminine fled to the new world landed unfortunately near salem saw saw all of that and so continued moving west until we landed here in the 1850s and he's like so what men are second class citizens i forgot about that line oh my god and she's like no they're an important part of our community we just are not subservient to them and i i just yeah i really like the idea of him like standing up for all the men there. He was. He was. I won't have it.

He was like, they're scared. They're not talking. The log man was terrified. But so then, yeah, then he goes to dig up the grave now that he has permission. By himself. Doesn't bring Willow. Just by himself goes and exhumes his body. Finds a burned doll in it i'm

this is i'm piecing this together now might that be the very same doll that we saw in the opening scene what you know i i have put thought into this i think it's a different doll and once again it's supposed to be like kind of because remember from before yeah yeah as opposed to just doing anything clever with that first accident, they're kind of just using it as like a reference point. This is kind of what happened to him previously. Right. Yeah.

But yeah, wait, how would it have been in the grave? Yeah, it makes no sense. Because it was an important thing is that it's burned. And that doll was in a car explosion. So it would be burned. Yes, that's so be burned That's so true But how would it have traveled How would it have traveled to this island

They don't answer that That doesn't make any sense So there's just a doll There's no human body The doll paid the guy $100 $200 $250

Count them That makes $100 guy a hundred dollars two fifties count them one two that makes a hundred um and then he goes into the crypt which is partially flooded so there's part that's underwater and he finds a sweater that looks like rowan's sweater and but as he dives in the water i think maybe he even thinks he sees Rowan again or something. Dives into this. I believe he has another flashback, right? He does have another flash of the car accident because I did at this point write down,

if we don't find out who the people in the car are, I'm going to be pissed. That is what I wrote down. Yeah. And then somebody locks him in there. Of course, we knew that was going to happen. One of the squid gamers. Oh, yeah. And he hangs on to the grate for overnight.

Yes. Until Willow comes and saves him. Yep. He like is literally like, like hanging to like breathe through the grate like all night. Because you can't breathe. Like Survivor. You can't breathe down there, I guess. He can breathe, but it's just he's like half It's like he's

Mostly submerged in water and just like Breathing up through the little grate in the In the top of the entrance to the little Crypt part, but So he's weak when she finds him He's weak, for sure For just like doing that all night And she lets him out

And he's again Screaming at her And he shoves the doll in her face he really is he really is really screaming and he's like where's there's a doll in her grave have you seen this doll who is this doll how to get burned how to get burned how to get burned that one's that line is in all of the compilations of crazy nicholas cage performance performances and i think going forward He is only screaming At women

I think from here on Mark's every interaction Is only him screaming Great Great Love it And she says She doesn't know how it got burned

She doesn't know What's going on She's no help at all So he goes back to Sister Summer Summer Summer Giles I don't know why We go to her Summer's Summer's Isles I don't know why I'm

He goes to her house Yeah He's like On a rampage now Trying to find more women To scream at Yeah He opens the door

Sees an old dude in a bed With a weird face He's like I think stung by a lot of bees A man that has been stung And is swollen Because the The poor men in this film They're second class citizens stung by a lot of bees. A man that has been stung and is swollen because of the poor

men in this film. They're second class citizens. And the next door he opens is a woman covered in bees which I don't know what that means at all. I don't know how that relates. We haven't seen anything like that. Well, the first Wicker Man the 1973 Wicker Man is very horny. There's a lot of

sex scenes. That's a part of the cult in the in the original i watched the wrong movie and so there's a lot of like nudity and i think there was some in this movie and they cut it out to try to get a pg-13 rating and so i have a feeling that this was kind of inspired by the original where it was going to be like him seeing things he wasn't meant to see that are provocative and like boobies with bees on them. Yeah, boobies. Boobies. Boobies.

Boobies. More of that. And we see that like he can't he can't find her, but we see her in a room with her like handmaids and they're all dressed in white and everyone's getting prepared for the festival, the big festival, the celebration of death and rebirth that we've heard of. It's, it's May 1st. It's May day. Even though they don't say the word dad.

Right. We're done. And so we're seeing, um, everyone getting ready for that. He's running around looking for answers. And he goes to the bar full of men. And he's like, men, I need your help. Oh, yeah. Whoa.

Let's unite. Come on, guys. This is our chance. Because it's just like the Barbie movie, too. So obviously, Greta Gerwig was referencing Wicker Man when she made Barbie. Yes, I think she must have been heavily inspired by this film she must have been continue to not talk they don't respond they just kind of look at them we see the old we haven't brought up the old twins yet oh right oh my god jacqueline and

joyce my favorite they did because I wrote them down. Yeah. There's these old, oldish, like in their 60s, twin women that talk in unison. And I did write down old twins are too creepy. Probably shouldn't exist. I said, I love them. I love them. I need to get a drink with them. Kind of different. That's what we split in terms of how old twins should be allowed to be.

Weren't they like burned too? I didn't notice. I think they were just old. Oh, okay. Well, that makes me feel even worse because I was like, something's going on with them. Not being able to tell whether someone's burned or old means you've been in la for too long i gotta get out of town guys i gotta go to summer's isles yeah so then he just goes and he starts checking every house so he goes so okay i guess before we learn what his plan is, he busts into a random house. And I was like, have we seen this house before?

But he busts in and he's like, where's Rowan? And they're like, who's Rowan? And it's like a mom and a daughter. And then he goes and he's like looking around. He's like, I'm a cop. And then he opens a, like an armoire and a little girl pops out and they laugh as if they had planned that he was going to show up. Really surprising. And then his plan is to go to every house everywhere and just search everywhere for her.

He's like screaming at people like screaming at children. Take off your masks. They're like, do you have permission to do this? And he's like, you have permission to get the fuck out of my way. He's really. Yeah, it's like he's caught. I'm cop everyone move i'm losing my mind and we're seeing people in like little animal masks kind of watching him from bushes and he goes down to the beach at one point and he does find the dead body of the pilot and the pilot's eyes are missing and his mouth is like sewn and his hand is missing

and instead of a hand they have shoved like twigs into his stump oh i missed that i thought that was his bones kind of a little wicker manny preview of yeah it it's actually pretty gross why don't they burn him why don't they they just burn him? That's a great question. Oh, wait. I think I have an answer. Once we get to the twist of this movie, I do need to come back to this scene. Okay. Okay.

Once we get to the twist. But the funniest part of this scene is he does try and wake him up. I like that. This guy is so dead. He is so dead. He's like, hey, dude. His eyes are missing. And he's like, wake up, man. He throws $50 at him. He's like hey dude his eyes are missing and he's like wake up man he throws

fifty dollars at him he's like wake up man ready to go back oh and he then he like continues tearing through town the plane is sunk too oh plane is sunk so his way of exiting is also yeah he's done he's done he's going into houses just all the kids are wearing masks because that it's the part of the festivity is you wear these costumes animal masks and he's just like knocking masks off little girls and being like take your fucking masks off i'm a cop and we see the um the woman that owns the bar it's kind of She's kind of a big lady and she's got a big bear costume. And one that might fit Nicolas Cage. If you were looking to try to sneak into the festivities.

And we do overhear her and another woman saying, did you take care of that thing by the docks we talked about? And the lady being like, yeah, it's done. It's taken care of and uh so that lady leaves and it's just uh the owner like getting in her bear costume or about to get in her bear costume nicholas cage just like slowly walks in it's kind of like tense they're staring at each other she's like what he's like what And then he's like Slowly Steps up Steps up And like gets real close up to her

And they're just staring at each other And he fucking Punches her in the face So hard That it knocks her out And then Lily Comes out of nowhere And jumps on him

And then they start to fight And he like like throws her up against all the pictures over a table and now he's just beating up women is what oh my god he like drop kicks her in the chest like flinging her backwards knocks her out too god it's funny incredible it's really funny yeah if you're not going to watch the movie you should at least watch like the i'm sure there's compilations of just the craziest scenes from this movie and this will definitely be in there oh my god this is when he puts on the bear costume and this is the point where i was like dude this is midsummer we have officially

we have officially reached midsummer like I was really surprised. It was a slow, gradual climb to it. Him putting on the bear costume, I was like, I got to talk to whoever wrote Midsommar now. Have you seen Wicker Man? Ari Aster inspired. Oh, he's definitely seen it. Inspired by Wicker Man. Greta Gerwig, inspired by Wicker Man. Wicker Man seminal film should be taught in film school if it isn't already.

That's right. It must already be. The influence of this film is felt all around us to this day heavily agree heavily agree at this point i did write down i feel like i'm not gonna get a satisfying ending slash explanation at that point you were worried optimistic you were really holding out hope because at this point I paused and I was like Eight minutes left what Why is there only eight minutes left Um so yeah

He's everyone is Moved into this big clearing in the Forest where whatever this Ceremony is about to happen Is going to take place and He's shows Willow that he's it's him in the bear costume and she's looking scared and then as they turn a corner we see rowan tied to like a pyre

this is like a tree or something but like looking like they're gonna light her on fire yeah and i think it's pretty safe to say that it's impossible to have known that this was Rowan. I agree. I agree. She looks like everybody else on the island. Yeah. Eventually, like three minutes later, he's like, Rowan. And he says her name out loud. And I was like, oh, I thought this was just another little girl he was saving

at this point. I truly, it was so, so hard. It was so hard. So he's like, all right, I got I got to go save her. And he runs up in the bear costume. And there's a woman kind of standing guard in front of Rowan. And she thinks that this is the bar owner woman. Sister Beach.

Sister Beach, what's wrong? And he just plunges her in the face and knocks her out dressed as a bear now. It's so funny. It's so funny. And he unties Rowan and is's like i'm edward i'm gonna save you and they run off into the forest and there's no plan in front of like hundreds of people he's like i'm just gonna pick you up and run away with you okay when does he draw his gun because oh yeah in a minute in a little bit okay okay okay and rowan's kind of seems like she's running ahead like she's leading him and he's been he's asking her slow down rowan slow down but it does seem like you should be running pretty fast i

guess he can't he just can't run fast again he's just really out of shape he's just out of shape i guess so he's like hunchbacked too in a lot of this i don't know i think it was a choice and they arrive or they like get through to the other side of the woods and everybody is already all there and rowan runs into willow's arms and says did I do it right, Mommy? And Willow says, yes, that was perfect, sweetie. They hug. And this is the reveal. They planned it. You never saw coming.

It was all a huge plan. Wow. It's a ruse. Wow. She tricked him to come to the island. Wow. Wow. Yeah, and this is when he pulls his gun and he starts pointing at everybody.

And screams, I'm going to shoot you to everybody. He says, I'm going to shoot you. He goes back. He has what? At most like six bullets. Well, okay. So this is, I think this is a critical thing that we got to talk about, which is the last

time that we see this guy. So we've seen it on his side a couple of times here and there. He's never like pulling out. see this guy so we've seen it on his side a couple times here and there he's never like pulling out but the last time that we see the gun is that sister someone's isles house he picks it up he's like oh they probably messed with my gun he takes out the chamber or he takes out the clip ammo clip the clip thank you he takes out the clip there are clearly bullets in it yes he confirms he's like there's bullets in my gun. Good. Yeah.

Got them all. And he puts his gun and he puts them aside. That's the next step. No days have passed besides him like running around. His gun has never left his side. Am I wrong?

Great point. No, I think you're right. Yeah. Yeah. But sure enough, as he is pointing it and about to shoot at people, he pulls that trigger

and no bullets come out. And Willow has all the bullets in her hand. Willow has all the bullets in her hand. Willow has all the bullets and she drops all the bullets. Talk about a magic trick. That's a perfect magic trick. And that's the magic of this movie.

But they're all kind of all the women are saying basically taunting him like you thought you were trying to find a little girl, but we found you and you're just the person we need. And answer here is that they say we needed someone who's connected to us by blood. And so because I think this is why I couldn't have been the pilot, because they needed a man that was related to them for some reason. For no reason. That's not in the original.

Yeah. I don't know why. So that is. So Rowan actually is her, his daughter. Yeah. Right. But this is, I'm glad we're talking about the pilot again because I said we got to talk about it. Yes.

The whole plan is like, it has to be the case that he comes to the island he has to be at the island for this plan to happen right why are they so mad at this pilot why are they mad at the pilot they need a question great question how the hell did they think he was gonna get there without that pilot why didn't they walk down to the dock, be like, hey, there's a guy that's going to show up. Just bring him over here and we're going to do what we need to do with him. Which also because there's another answer of like, now the pilot can like, he can reveal that the guy was there.

And so maybe that's a loose end for them. But that's how they should have framed killing the pilot. That would have been cleaner. Instead, they were mad at the pilot for bringing him to the island. Which does not make sense. Even though they need him to be on the island. I just looked over at Henley's face while we were discussing this.

She's looking confused. I'm just imagining people in the editing room being like, ugh, I don't know how to work around this Yeah That's probably most of this movie Speaking of editing Something very crazy happens right now

That I It was the most shocking part of the movie for me I know what you're about Did you watch it on Amazon Prime? Did you rent it on Prime? Yes I did Wait I did too Did you notice a on Amazon Prime? Did you rent it on Prime? Yes, I did. Yep. Same here. Wait, I did, too. OK, well, OK. Did you notice a famous scene missing?

Yeah, no. OK, so so everyone's all gathered around him. He has no bullets in his gun. So he tries to fight them. But there's so many of them. So they close in on him. And it kind of crossfades into um them carrying him away but we're hearing the audio of a scene that was cut not my legs oh no well first he says um you bitches bitches you bitches

this is murder and you're doing it for nothing killing me won't bring back your goddamn honey and then we hear like bone crunchy sound effects and him so we know what's happening going ow my legs we're not seeing any of this we're just we're not seeing it we're not seeing it we're just seeing him being paraded to a giant burning man, like a wicker. And it's all voiceover. I totally forgot about that. And then they arrive at the titular wicker man, huge I don't know what. I'm so bad at estimating

height. How tall do you think that is? 30 feet? 50. Yeah, 40, 50 feet maybe. Great. 50 foot high man made out of sticks are we daytime this whole time by the way i was kind of a oh yeah almost the whole movie almost there's a couple like he exhumes at night he chases the little girl at night but for the most part it's all daytime also midsummer vibes but the whole breaking the legs and burning him is during the day yeah it's it's it's a similar i feel like celebration i don't know if it's the exact same thing that they would

be doing in sweden but it's definitely based on the same sort of like a daytime festival tradition thing so but yeah so then he they like have carried him over to this wicker man in a big burlap sack and they open it and he's got a face covered in bee stings and i think the most famous part of the movie is cut out of this i was wait even as he was getting pulled up so he eventually gets strung up and pulled up the wicker man as it burns and that's at this point i'm still like okay but he's gonna get cut down and they're gonna put bees around his head right yeah when are the bees but he's going to get cut down and they're going to put bees around his head, right? Yeah, when are the bees happening? When's he going to get the bees? So the famous line... Yeah.

I thought when he was running through that field and getting stung, I was like, wait a minute, is this the bee meme? Like the famous... Yeah, because the bee meme is he has a mask on. You may have seen this. He has like a wicker basket mask on his head and they're pulling bees into the mask.

And he screams, not the bees, not the bees. Not the bees. The bees, not the bees. Yes. Wait, why don't they have it on Amazon Prime? That's why I Googled it. Too violent? It's in the unrated version.

So actually what we saw is the theatrical release. So that meme is not in the actual movie like the theatrical release of the movie it's in the unrated really shocking it was the most surprising part of the movie i was really surprised and sad yeah is it rated pg-13 the theatrical release version i think i think so must be at worst because there's no boo bees. It doesn't seem that bad. Like even pouring the bees doesn't seem that bad. You know?

No. Maybe the breaking of the legs in the lead up to it is what was like the worst part. I did watch the scene on YouTube. It is available on YouTube. There is a scene of his legs being broken and then they bring the bees, um, afterwards, but not in this version. And he burns, he burns and he dies. And that's, and that's not the end of the movie. Whole new movie. Okay. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay.

Also, I will say that I think it is possible, although it seems like your research said otherwise, but I do think it is possible. There's like a reveal of a blonde mom and a blonde daughter that he goes like. And so I think it is supposed to be the people from the beginning, from the opening scene. It does. I agree. I 100 percent. That wouldn't make sense. Well, it doesn't really make sense.

Once again, it's really hard for me to tell them apart. So I maybe need to like look closer like zoom in but the Other thing that's really weird so it's a shot that looks Like a reveal shot because they're Like taking off their animal masks And you like see these people however in The shot is like what seems Featured it's almost a three shot with two little

Girls and a mom so that can Also I was like okay now I'm really confused Too many blonde little girls in this movie Yeah it really really hurt a lot But it would make sense I can also, I was like, okay, now I'm really confused. Too many blogger girls in this movie. Yeah. Really, really, really a lot, but it would make sense if they never found their bodies. And,

but I mean, it's a really elaborate plan to also plan to be like, well, we have to have him have, how did they have this semi truck drive into you guys have to survive the car. You have to survive a car accident. It doesn't, it doesn't really make sense,

but, and escape the premises immediately And also do a really good job play acting When you see him Yeah that's a huge gamble to be like Yeah you guys have to go and get hit by a truck And the car has to explode so get out before then But don't let him pull you out Yeah yeah don't

The only purpose being to give him kind of like an extra motivation To go help a child Like as if helping your ex-fiance's child wouldn't already be enough of a motivator motivation it's like they didn't need that whole sequence almost but remember it is the lead-up to the title of the movie right sets the tone so it's important yeah but henley let's we got to tell you that this him burning is not the end of the movie okay what you need to tell me we still got James

Franco wait what wait what wait what six months later and it goes dark and then comes back up on James Franco and Jason Ritter and I was like what the fuck is this

I said in my phone app I went wait a minute is that James Franco and the guy from Parenthood because I couldn't remember his name and he's in Parenthood the TV series I wish it was Aaron Eckhart now that would have been so much better they're at a bar

and they like pick up these two chicks who are women from the island willow willow and lily uh are there yeah and he's and they're like hey you want to be killed in eight years but they imply that with their eyes yeah they don't say that they say that yeah yeah they yeah pretty jarring Jarring Wait, so they're picking them up

They're on the mainland I guess like Hunting for men, essentially James Franco and James Ritter are the men And they pick them up and they're gonna what? Go like get impregnated by them And then leave Go back to the island

Really playing the fucking long game This colony Have their babies and then leave go back to the island fucking long game this colony just have their babies and then lure them back several years later okay okay yeah and then before the credits it says

for Johnny Ramone I just that also threw me who's Johnny Ramone it's? I just, that also threw me. Who's Johnny Ramone? It's from the Ramones. Oh. Yep. I'm sure he would have loved this film. It's dedicated to him.

Whoa. Just like so many confusing things happening in the last eight minutes of this movie. Whoa. What? What? What? Wow.

Wow. This one's for you johnny ramone this one's for you was he connected to like the first one somehow um it says in the imdb trivia that nicholas cage knew him hold on just the guy i knew that passed away so the film is dedicated to late musician johnny ramone who introduced nicholas cage to robin hardy's original the wicker man really strange though still this one's for you it's like nicholas cage gets full creative ownership over this film being like i you know i know, I first watched this with Johnny Ramone. And so I want to put at the end his name. That is that movie lived up to all of my expectations, honestly. Oh, same here.

Do you think you'll watch it? I would watch it for sure if it was on at a party in the background. Yeah, that's fair. This is the perfect movie to have on in the background at a party. I loved it. I was reminded about the existence of Lili Sobieski. That was the main thing. What is she up to?

I looked her up and yeah, she's not been doing much lately. When was she on like first kiss? She was in, right? up and yeah, she's not been doing much lately. What was she in like First Kiss? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Never Been Kissed. Never Been Kissed. That's right. I feel like she played Joan of Arc. That's popping in my mind. I don't. I don't. Those are two huge movies. Deep Impact. That's really important.

Deep Impact scared the shit out of me. This movie is not scary no it's just that has jump scares of like the flashback like the semi the semi and the raven are probably the two biggest jump scares yeah yeah what even raven and then it's just like only children kind of doing animal, like light animal abuse. Yeah, it's animal torture. And that's it. Yep. Yep. That's insane.

I guess the moral of the story is don't trust female collectives, which I'm not a fan of. You know what I mean? It's like, I don't like the thesis here, which seems to be you shouldn't trust when women are in power. It's not okay they they get up to some wild stuff yeah although i will say ellen burston as an actress generally does kind of like terrify me a little bit i think that's great she's scary for sure yeah yeah she is pretty scary in this it's a good cast to the point where i considered as an ode to this movie not talking this entire podcast i thought i thought about it i was like yeah that would have been but then every once in a while explosively yelling at us

we're not helping we're not helping yet it's pretty wild i'd be so curious to re-watch the movie with the context of like this is all a ruse because there are so many things that they do. I'm like, is this part of your plan or is this an accident? Like, is this part of it or or is this intentionally just confusing? Yeah, no, you're right about the little girl that like falls out of the closet. Yeah. It's like, how is that a plan? You didn't know he was going to come in here. What?

Yeah. Who cares, though? That's not the point of the movie. The point of the movie is just to sit back and relax. Let it wash over you. No, it's a flawless film, and it's... I laughed and I laughed and I laughed. I mean, it's Nick Cage being Nick Cage.

Nick Cage. Gosh, he's it. God bless Nick Cage. Nick Cage swears that him and the director know and knew the whole time that this was a funny movie Nick Cage swears that him and the director know and knew the whole time that this was a funny movie. Swears. And that it was intentionally funny. It is funny. It's funny. What do you think Nick Cage is

like day to day? Like when he wakes up in the morning? You know what? I had this conversation yesterday and so I've thought a lot about it. Okay. I think he wakes up in silk sheets and a silk robe. Yes. Has a tiny espresso.

He gua-shas. He gua-shas his face in the morning. I feel like all of his decor is black and burgundy. Like chrome. Yeah. He has a pet raven. And a snake. From the desk?

Maybe the one from the desk. Yes. And I feel like he gets dressed in head to toe leather. And like goes and says good morning to his snake. Yep. Yes. Read scripts all day. What's a Pedro Pascal movie?

Oh, the Unbearable weight of massive talent yeah i just really hope that that's what he's like in real life yeah i really hope that they're just like dude just be yourself we're not even gonna give you a script just go for it i think yeah he reads the scripts he makes two piles the good good movies bad movies and then he picks up the bad movies and he auditions for those. I thought you were going to say he makes two piles and there's no movies in the bad movie pile.

All of these rock. All of these rock. I will do them all. I appreciate that talent of his to see the good in everything. We should all strive to have Nicolas Cage's optimistic outlook of.

I gotta say his recent movie, Renfield, is on Peacock. He plays Dracula. I haven't seen Renfield yet. Y'all, he goes deep into character. There's one very good scene in it, but I thought that movie was very bad. Very bad. Oh, yeah,

yeah, yeah. I i mean i just was like tickled by nicholas cage in the whole thing he's fully a character yeah yeah he's lost he's lost yeah that was my joy of the movie but yeah it is not the best i'll take this moment to recommend vampire's kiss if you haven't seen it another movie where nicholas cage plays But yeah, it is not the best. I'll take this moment to recommend Vampire's Kiss. If you haven't seen it, another movie where Nicolas Cage plays a vampire. Have you read his Wikipedia page recently? Because there's just a line here that says at age 15, he tried to convince his uncle, Francis Ford Coppola, to give him a screen test, telling him, I'll show you acting. His outburst was met with silence in the car.

show you acting his outburst was met with silence in the car by this stage of his career coppola had already directed marlon brando al pacino gene hackman and robert de niro it's like such a brutal takedown on a wikipedia page yeah who's writing this you but that's also that confidence he has he's just like i'll show you and's like, I've already seen brilliant acting. Like, he just has such confidence. I feel like it's got to be Francis Ford Coppola that wrote that. He's the only other one in the car with him. Yeah, hopefully not. Like the silence in the car.

Who would know that other than Francis? I'd rather watch Nick Cage than any of those actors. Yeah, same. That's my take. 100%. would know that other than Francis. I'd rather watch Nick Cage than any of those actors. That's my take. 100%. Well, thank you guys so much for choosing this film. What a delight this was. We all have to get tattoos now. I think we have the raven

flying out of the desk. What? Waleed, Elizabeth, can you tell our listeners where they can find you and what you got going on? Yeah, we got ourselves a little podcast called Sitcom D&D on which I play a half orc named Chip and Elizabeth plays a half or named beef and it's a sitcom slash dungeons and dragons podcast where the episodes are episodic and we have a little campaign so if you like comedy if you like uh dungeons and dragons one of the two both whatever you don't you don't have to be into either of them to that's true i feel like improv also if you like comedy yeah Like improv is a big part of it Yeah

That's my number one pitch Elizabeth, you got anything? Just We do stuff on Instagram Follow Elizabeth on Instagram, she's hysterical It's your manager She's got little sketches

That are very very fun There you go Amazing Well thank you guys again It's your manager. Yeah. You've got little sketches that are very, very fun. There you go. Great. Amazing. Well, thank you guys again. And we close each episode with a voice from the movie. So I'm going to do Nicolas Cage screaming because that's the obvious choice. So.

Powerheads. Screaming at all of you. From all of us here at Too Scary Didn't Watch Goodbye Gorgeous Well done That was good Hi everybody

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