Too Scary; Didn't Watch - THIRTEEN GHOSTS

Episode Date: February 9, 2022

Grab your spectral glasses and Matthew Lillard swag, we're recapping THIRTEEN GHOSTS! This movie has everything: Tony Shalhoub, Tony Shalhoub and more Tony Shalhoub. It's the only thing better than a Monk marathon. Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1yZl9HVLd0You can watch Thirteen Ghosts on Netflix Recap begins @ 30:15 Follow the show: @TSDWpodcast on Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram. Check out our Patreon for bonus episodes and additional content! Rate Too Scary; Didn’t Watch 5 Stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Emily, Henley, and Sammy. Advertise on Too Scary; Didn't Watch via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is Emily, Henley, and Sammy, and you're listening to Too Scary, Didn't Watch. Hi everyone, welcome to Too Scary, Didn't Watch, the horror movie recap podcast for those too scared to watch for themselves. I'm Emily, and I am too scared to watch scary movies. I'm Henley, and I'm also too scared to watch for themselves. I'm Emily, and I am too scared to watch scary movies. I'm Henley, and I'm also too scared to watch scary movies. I'm Sammy, and I love watching scary movies. And so I watch them, and I tell you about them so you don't have to experience them firsthand,

but you can still know all the details. You can be in the know. Ooh, baby, keeping you in the know. But before we get into this week's movie, did anything scary happen to us this week? Hmm. Okay, so I guess this is pretty scary. Okay.

I like how this is starting. Seems promising. starting seems promising so for the past week i have our i live on the fourth floor and the elevator in our apartment building broke about 10 days ago so everyone's been taking the stairs a lot of stair activity in my apartment building um also i think really stressful for a lot of people who live in the building who like really need that elevator and have a lot of trouble going up and down the stairs. Yeah. The thing that's kind of alarming to me is that there has been a really bad smell permeating the stairwell in my apartment building for several days now. And they have been washing the floors constantly. And I am worried someone died in one of their apartments.

And that's what this smell is. I don't know because I have no idea what that would smell like, but I do know that it smells really bad. And Tim disagrees with me. Tim is like, you're being crazy. No, but it's not like an identifiable smell to you. I've never smelled it before. No, before. That's interesting. Smelling a new smell in general. I don't, I don't like that at all. I don't know what it is. And I almost like don't like, sorry, this is just too much, but it does smell. It smells like, like, like, like something. It does smell bad.

You guys like, I think like it smells really bad. And I, and Tim doesn't think that I think he thinks I'm being a little dramatic and he probably is right. This does happen though. I know of someone who this happened to in New York City. Yeah. Someone in his building died in their apartment and it like really smelled for a while. Yeah.

People got to die somewhere. I know. They've got to die somewhere. And there's a lot of people in New York. I know. It's really sad. I'm sorry. But wouldn't they have told you, do you think, or no? No. No, they may not

know is the thing. If it still smells. Oh, you think there's a body currently in there that they haven't found? That's what I thought you were saying. No, no, no. I think that they probably... If it still smells, they're still there. I think they probably have found the body by now, but it still

smells so bad. I love when she starts to whisper. I by now, but it still smells so bad. It still smells so like it's dissipated a little bit. The smell has gone down, but it's there just also. It's really I don't know whether it's because people are taking the stairs more often, but they are cleaning a lot. There's a lot of cleaning going on in a way that is not normal. And it is not helping the smell. So I don't know what's going on. But should I mean, hopefully the smell goes away soon.

Hopefully everyone is safe and healthy in my building. But the scary thing is, is that in my head, every time I walk in and out of my building now, I can't help but think there's a dead person in here who died. Yeah. That is scary. Yeah. It's pretty scary, right? Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Yikes. I don't know what else to say about it. I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say about it either. I hope the situation improves. I know. And, you know, here's the thing is that I feel like this segment is supposed to be like a little lighthearted. And I feel like I actually keep like talking about things that are too like not lighthearted.

This segment, which I love referring to it as a segment, is supposed to be whatever we need it to be. That's right. Sometimes we need to talk about the fact that someone might have died in our apartment. Sometimes that's what we need it to be. It exists for us. Thank you for you guys supporting me in this. Always. Okay, what about you guys?

Mine's a little different. Okay. Tonally. Totally it's different a little different. Okay. Tonally. Tonally it's different? Tonally different. Um, I just, I guess what's scary about it is how much I can't stop thinking about this. And it is Jared Leto being nominated for a Screen Actors Guild Award for his performance in House of Gucci. I wanna be like a pigeon so i can fly

it makes me it's you know what it's like a derealization moment like my therapist would tell me where i like need to hold an ice cube i'm like wait what he got everybody went like good acting good good but like a jury of his peers too like specifically of being the screen actors guild nominating him it really blows my mind. And I know in general, awards things are usually not correct and that will never stop me from being

mad about them and thinking about them. But I just think it's so crazy. House of Gucci is the craziest one of the craziest movies I've ever seen. I could not stop thinking about it after we saw it. You started whispering.

I guess it's because I'd be like taken back, taken back to those times. It's a wistful whisper. It's a wistful whisper. Because it also got nominated for best performance by a cast. And it just seems like everybody. Maybe because they were acting in eight different movies. They were all in a different movie. Everybody was in a different movie.

But Jared Leto specifically, all the scenes with him and Al Pacino, to me, were very reminiscent of an Adam Sandler movie called Jack and Jill. And I'm just like, no one can deny that he was acting really big and really hard in it. That much is true. But yeah, maybe it's because of how hard he was. He was acting really hard. He was really going for it.

He dedicated that like himself to that performance. One hundred and ten percent. Nobody's saying he didn't do that. Was it one of the five best performances of the year i don't think so i think it was a comedy performance it's just like it makes me feel crazy that it was one of the five most performances of the year yes yes yes i would love if that were a category most Most performance. Acting hardest. So do you guys know how this Green Actor Guild works? Like, is it like, do people just vote? SAG members vote.

It's yeah. Across the board or are they like nominations put forth and then they vote on those nominations? Do you know what I mean? I should know this as a member of SAG. I think you vote twice. I think you vote for to create the nominations. And not everyone in SAG can vote. There is like they

pick members at random, I think, who then are like invited to all the screenings and watch all the things and I think they put forth the nominations. I'm a really bad union member who never pays attention.

But, I mean, regardless, he should not be nominated in this category or in any category except maybe a Razzie. Sorry. Also, Jared Leto, not a good person. Also not a good person. I don't understand why...

I mean, I guess I do understand because that's the way it seems to go, but he hasn't skipped a beat in jobs. He is a working actor. Nobody's blinking an eye. Work, work, work. And yeah, it just makes me feel really crazy and I can't stop thinking about it. And I really am

going to lose my mind if he wins. Oh my God. I hope he does his speech in the accent. And the god. I hope he does the speech and the accent. And the suit. For those of us who haven't seen the movie, can you give us a little taste of what's happening with his acting in this film? Well, he's in

a fat suit, which in 2022 I feel like why are we still doing that? Fat suit, bald cap. What's his character? He talks like this. Hey, Papa. He's talking so Italian.

He's so Italian. I'm Italian gay man. Oh, Papa. It's like really, truly that line. He has something to the effect of I want to be like a pigeon, so I can fly. Oh, no.

It's so crazy. That's like my best possible impression. It's really insane. It's spot on. It's like a very hammy, like funny performance. And I do believe he is trying to be funny. Like, there's no way that this is a serious performance. But yeah, he is playing a real person.

Whoever it is, it was mad about it. That makes sense. No, I think he's dead. Oh, well, I think the Gucci family in general was like mad about everything in the movie. They did him dirty. Like, I would be upset for sure. All right. Free wild. wild yeah that's it i just can't stop thinking about it and it's scary that it's how much of my headspace is devoted to house of gucci in general

but i that said i do think people should see house of gucci because it is just definitely should like one of the craziest movies ever made. I do. You've made me curious. You've made me curious. I do want to see it. You should see it. It's weird, man. Isn't it really long? Yes. Is it really long? Oh, yeah. Oh, God, yeah. Yikes. Mine is also tonally

different, I think, than both of these. Okay. We're giving you a variety this week. I mentioned I mentioned that I am moving and I guess what's scary is I'm moving I'm moving in with my boyfriend um and it's just can you isn it's just a crazy thing to do it's a big change even though you like spend so much time together already it's different when your space is a shared space yeah it's just like it's it's i'm so i'm like have zero Zero doubts. It's so great.

We're so excited. It's the right choice. It's been great. So like, it's like, yeah, this is what you do when you want to like share a life with someone. Yeah. But also to be like, I've lived alone for four years. And I've gotten really good at living alone and like taking care of me in my space and my needs and same for him and and so it's just like wait we're we're gonna be around each other

like all the time and I know that we won't yeah but there's just a lot of stuff that I do that is alone stuff. You know, like so much of my existence is like alone time. And I do things that one would do when no one else is around. And so now it's like, are there going to is there going to be someone around? Like, what do you what do you do? And I've lived with a partner before, but it just I I had never lived alone when that happened. I was a lot younger. I'm like now I'm like I am I am who I am. And I've got my weird shit and my habits and my like adult life and body and habits. And I'm like, you know what I mean?

It is. It is crazy. I think it's definitely different when you've lived alone for a long time. So you have all these ways of going about your day that are specific to you in that alone time. Here's the thing though. You guys aren't moving into one room with no doors or like walls. Correct. You will still have alone time. So you're saying I can sneak away and do my alone stuff. You will still absolutely have alone time, even though you guys are living together. I really, I mean, I've been texting you about it, Hen. You live with someone. Do you live with two people? One of them's tiny because I literally I'm like and it's it's not even.

I'm excited about it. I'm like eager for it. I just feel like I'm like a curious little baby where I'm like, how does it work? Like, I just found myself because I'm like, no, the way that you live as an adult is alone. So what is it like when what is it like when there's someone else there? How do you do food? How do you do like I'm like, I feel like I don't know how any of it works. I think you guys just figure it out as you go along and things kind of like happen organically. So one thing, for example, is that Tim almost always goes to bed after I do. And that's going to be a guarantee. Yeah. That's like built in alone time right there, because like I'll read in bed and then like fall asleep or realistically nowadays watch TikTok videos until I fall asleep while Tim is like out, like doing work or reading or whatever in the

other room. And like, that's kind of like built-in alone time I'll keep you guys posted I'm very curious I think this is the right attitude like a little explorer to go into it yes this curious mind I think that's the way the way to go without like rigid expectations of what it should be like and I think that's the way to do it i don't know you guys food is the biggest thing for me because i there's you know there's like there are alone meals you know there are there's there is food that's meant to be eaten alone like sometimes if i don't have time like a boiled egg over the sink with slices of cheese that's exactly what i'm talking about or like like sometimes i'm like oh I don't have time to

I'm gonna like I haven't been very healthy today I don't really have time to eat anything but I need some greens I'll just grab a handful of spring mix and throw it in my mouth like a little yeah yeah yeah you know what I mean that is just normal that is normal 100% of the way what I'm about to discover is just like, oh, everyone does this. Everyone. I mean, no. Absolutely. You and Joel are going to be having weird little separate meals all the time.

You can't have every meal together. You also just can't have every meal be a meal you want someone to see. That's really what I'm about. It's not about eating it together. It's about being able to be secret about some of the things that you do, that you put into your body, that you put out of your body. Some of these things should be alone, completely in secret, and never known by anyone. So it's, you know what scary it's unknown but yeah i'm a little anthropologist

and i'm just gonna i'm gonna report back about what it is like to live with another human as if nobody has ever done it before oh boy all right well let's get into this week's movie. Yes. Which is 13 Ghosts. It came out in 2001, directed by Steve Beck, written by Neil Marshall Stevens and Richard D'Ovidio, based on a story by Rob White, and also uncredited writers Todd Alcott and James Gunn. A lot of writers here. James Gunn, like Todd Alcott and James Gunn. A lot of writers here. James Gunn, like Guardians of the Galaxy James Gunn? Yeah, that's the one. He was an additional writer. So I don't know, maybe he came in for a rewrite or something.

But also he is also uncredited, which on IMDb, I'm confused when they say that. Because it's like you're crediting him here. He's right here. But I guess he's not credited in the actual movie is what that means. OK. It is starring Tony Shalhoub, Matthew Lillard, M. Beth Davids, Shannon Elizabeth, Alec Roberts, J. R.

Bourne, Rod Diga and F. Murray Abraham. And it is streaming on Netflix. This is a fun cast. Wait, does this mean that we're going to get to listen to Emily do a Matthew Lillard impression again? I'll try my best. I think so. I'll try my best. Gotta love that Lillard.

And this is a movie that was in one of our Instagram polls and it lost to the taking of Debra Logan, but only by like three votes. So I felt like we had to do it. Had to do it.

I'm excited. This is the one I know nothing about it. Nothing. Same. Which is interesting because I feel like this is around when movies like The Ring and The Grudge and all those came out and those are like seared into my memory at that time of the commercials and the posters and being terrified. This one somehow totally went over my head.

I don't know anything about this one. Is it about someone being visited by 13 ghosts? Good guess. Sort of. This is one that I saw at the time. Yeah, it came out in 2001. So I would have been 12. You saw it in theaters?

No, I didn't see it in theaters. I probably, you know what? I probably saw it like a year or two later when it came out on VHS. Like blockbuster. And it just kind of took me back to there was this time when I was in high school that I watched a lot of this type of movie. Like I watched saw and there was a movie called cube. That was so nasty. Wait, so this is nasty.

This is a nasty one. It's a little nasty. Is it on the level of, is it like a torture porn movie? No, it's, I think it's like also quite silly. You know what,

Sammy? I never, I never know. I never know. You can't trust what I say. I also quite silly. You know what, Sammy? I never know. I never know with you. You can't trust what I say. I can't fucking trust where you're coming from. You did adequately warn us about audition, though. Yeah. I don't think too much nasty stuff happens in this.

The thing that's nastiest is something that i won't be able to sufficiently get across which is the costume and design of the ghosts which they all just the like makeup and like special effects i guess or like the prosthetics i guess it's like kind of creature design yeah prosthetics oh cool like they look nasty will we get and leave it in the trailer oh we sure will okay but yeah let me give you some trivia 17 on rotten tomatoes 30 on metacritic and 5.6 on imdb oh no this is bad happy Happy Lillard. Come on. Come on, man. Come on, man.

The budget was $42 million. Box office was $68.5 million. But with advertising and stuff factored in, it still lost money. And it was Steve Beck's directorial debut. Steve Beck's directorial debut. After this movie, Beck would only direct one more film, the similarly themed

Ghost Ship in 2002. Now this one I have heard of. Jess told us about this one, right? Yep. I think she did. You're right. Wow, I can't believe we haven't done it. A ghost vessel movie? We gotta do it. Gotta freaking do it. I do think that opening scene that we've heard about is probably the highlight of the whole movie, but I think it would think freaking do it i do think that opening scene that we've

heard about is probably the highlight of the whole movie but i think it would be a fun one to do nonetheless and then we will have covered steve beck's entire filmography oh i love to check that box huge that would be huge for us that would be huge for us uh roger ebert praised the production values saying the production is first rate the physical look of the picture is splendid however he criticized the story lack of interesting characters loud loud soundtrack and poor editing in 2005 he included it on his list of most hated films oh my god that's so that's such thing where like, when you see your friends like play and you don't like it at all and you have to be like, what did I like?

What did I like? The design. Oh, it looked so good. I also, it's funny to me to say, to criticize, I know what he means,

but it's funny to use the term loud soundtrack because it makes it sound like we'll just turn it down. Like, was it just on too loud? Right. Was the volume up too high? Obviously, it means like the music in it, I guess, is too intense. Levels. Well, this next piece of trivia says the special effects and sound mixing were so elaborate in this film that many people claimed that the movie was physically painful to sit through oh no did you feel that way no i didn't feel that way but i maybe in

theaters it would have been because yeah i just turned it down but it does have that saw kind of has this to that vibe of it being like kind of grungy and metal and like it's like really fast see i you know yeah yeah um two actors in this raw digga and alex alec roberts decided never to act again after being in this movie and f murray abraham has stated he only did the film for the money. So not great feedback from the cast or the critics, but

I think it's fun. I can't wait to hear. I cannot wait to hear what you think. I love Matthew Lillard and so his presence in any movie just makes it, I think, enjoyable. I'm there. If Matthew Lill think, enjoyable. I'm there. If Matthew Lillard is there, I'm there. Wow.

OK. Talk about, yeah, blast from the past. Matthew Lillard. Where are you now? Where are you now, Matthew? Well, I was just telling Emily his IMDb says he's in 237 things. So he has been working. A lot of things.

And I just haven't seen most of these things 230 or so of them like recently he's been in that many things well that's like who i'm looking him up right now scooby-doo the thing he's known for is scooby-doo still that's right he was in scooby-doo uh-huh oh you know what he's in he's in bosh which is one of those TV shows that you hear about all the time and you always see like posters of and shit. And you're like, what is this about? Who's watching this? What is Bosh? Why is it still on?

There have been like eight seasons of this show. I feel like it's a punchline in SNL a lot where they're like, I'm just watching. I caught the latest episode of Bosh. I feel like it's like a dad show like a certain kind of dad exclusively watches bosh and like yellowstone is that what it's called yellowstone is a show as well okay i'm sorry he's he's only in 150 things i was i was wrong when i glanced at it earlier, but still, he's a working actor doing a lot of things. He's a working actor. But this was like his heyday,

I'd say. This 2001 13 Ghost was after Scream. I mean, just a couple beers after Scream, baby. After SLC Punk, which was another one that he was so great in. But, okay, let's watch this trailer. I can't wait for you guys to see some of these images

okay let's do it let's do it there are ghosts around us all the time most of them they can't hurt us most of them don't even want to hurt us but there are exceptions. Is it bad tonight? Oh, bad? It is my professional opinion. We should get the hell out of here. Now. I represent the estate of your Uncle Cyrus. Who even Uncle Cyrus? Cyrus recorded this message six weeks ago. He asked it to be played for you in the event of his death.

Arthur, I've instructed my lawyer to deliver my last will and testament. A key? A key to what? A key to your new house. This house is the fruit of my life's work. Oh, my God. It is a one-of-a-kind home. It's marvelous, isn't it?

Wow. Arthur, we've got some papers to sign in the library. After that, I would love to take you and the family around to the other house. This place is awesome. All right, now I know I'm dreaming. Well, your uncle was quite a collector of... many things. What the hell was that? This Halloween...

You're wasting your time. It's all sealed up. The only thing worse... than being trapped in a house with a ghost. This house is not a house. We're in the middle of a machine powered by the dead. Is being trapped in a house

with 13 ghosts. Maggie! What? We got company. Where? I can't see. How close is it? Close enough to hurt you. Go, go, go, go, go! What? We got company. Where? I can't see. How close is it? Close enough to hurt you.

Go, go, go, go, go! Can I rely on you not to get me killed i guarantee you nothing i mean how muchable is lillard man i let a star he's the best that read as a comedy like through and through it's like there was a part that was like i feel like emily could handle this but i don't know but it is pretty funny it didn't feel scary to me honestly it didn't feel scary to me at all i completely understand the loud soundtrack portion now yeah um it feels like they're on a set of a bad like christine aguilera music video or something like it's like the house itself is so ludicrous yeah and it just looks like it's the whole thing they're just like trapped in rooms

and there's a scary ghost and then they die that's like what it's about right but it's funny that they have to wear glasses to see the ghosts maybe there's like special goggles handy little ghost glasses yes i also who's what's that girl from shannon elizabeth some teen show from that time i think american pie she's from like oh yeah there's something that i was like oh this girl i mean i've never seen american pie actually but oh and and jay and silent bob that's probably what i'm thinking and then is that monk that's monk baby shaloo yeah yeah that's monk ever heard of it that's all i can think when i see him i love that copy the only thing worse than being trapped in a house with a ghost is being trapped in a house with 13 ghosts.

It's the only thing worse. Not 14. 14 would be better. 14, even number. You can sort of handle it. 13, yikes. Scary number. Did you guys watch Monk ever?

Did you guys ever watch Monk? I loved Monk. I caught an episode here and there. Same, same. If it was like on, I would watch it. I caught an episode here and there. Same, same. If it was on, I would watch it. I feel like it was always on. I feel like there was a period of time where Monk was the only show on TV between the hours of

noon and 6pm. It was like any channel, just Monk. Every doctor's office, just Monk. When I think Tony Shalhoub, I think my favorite movie, Galaxy Quest, which he is great in. He's great. Tony Shalhoub. We love Tony Shalhoub, I think my favorite movie, Galaxy Quest, which he is great. Oh, yeah. He's great.

Tony Shalhoub. We love Tony Shalhoub. We love him. Also, what a fun name. Are you kidding me? Shalhoub? Shalhoub. Sign me up.

Sign me up. Sign me up. Okay. Wow. What is this going to be? What is this going to be? I can't wait to tell you. Honestly, Scooby-Doo vibes.

Yeah. I was setting myself up for something really scary. I think because you use 13 ghosts in the same sentence as Saw. So that really, that really scared me. It's like a game. It seemed like there's, you know, there are pawns in a game. And the way it's stylized to this like rapid editing and this really frantic pace of things that has since people don't really do that anymore. And it was just really popular at this time, I think where it's like,

I'm very confused by this, like car impound part of the trailer that then that Matthew Lillard was in, but then he's also in the, I mean, you're going gonna tell me but right now i'm like what's this what's the connection about yeah what is this about all right well let's get into it i will answer all these questions and more thank you in the past few years i have hit a point where i only want to be wearing clothes that are comfortable it

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answered off the top. Right, right out the gate. It's nighttime, it's like this truck full of seemingly like a secret service type of, it's like a crew of it's a crew but their vibe is not of a like an official government thing they have like a symbol on the door of

looks kind of vaguely witchcrafty or something like that so they're like are these ghost hunters and out of this truck comes uh matthew lillard and uh f murray abraham who f murray abraham is cyrus he seems to be in charge he looks like a kind of typical evil rich man he's got a cane and a little scarf like around his neck like a little ascot yeah a little ascot and matthew lillard's character's name is dennis he steps out of the car and immediately collapses in pain and is grabbing his head we don't really know what's going on but he's saying you know oh like it's it's bad like it my opinion. We should get the hell out of here. And Cyrus is like, no, like, this is what we came here to do. Tell me where he is. Tell me where he is. And Dennis puts his hand in the soil or like next to him, like in the dirt next to him to feel. and he gets flashes of visions really quick cuts of things and pulls his hand away and he looks really scared and overwhelmed and he said you said he only killed nine people uh cyrus says killed nine people while he was alive oh these ghosts mean business oh Oh, no. And Dennis says there are over 40 victims here.

And so we learn that Dennis is some sort of psychic, has visions of ghosts. And it's clear that they're hunting one specific ghost in this junkyard. They've pinpointed his location there and Dennis is helping them find it. pinpointed his location there and Dennis is helping them find it. They spring out this like glass cage, seems like where they're going to lure the ghost into, has some inscriptions on the wall, on the glass of it. We don't know what that means yet, but it's clear that they have a little plan to catch this ghost. And as they're about to enact it, these two people run up like, stop, you can't do this. Seemingly some ghost rights activists.

Is there a fire? That's amazing. That's amazing. Yes. And they're like, these are human beings that you're hunting. They're not animals. Didn't this guy kill 40 people?

Yes. Okay. Dennis rolls his eyes. He's like, they're dead human beings like don't be ridiculous and there's some mention better better argument is that this this ghost has killed 40 yeah let's not worry about that um but there's a it's a woman and a man these these ghosts ghost right activists and and the woman or the man says something to cyrus like you'll never pull it off not without a 13th ghost and dennis says what's he talking about 13th ghost you hired me for 12 ghosts this is the 12th ghost after this

i'm done i'm out of here i'm not helping you with anymore. Like this is my contract is up. Cyrus kind of waves it away. Yeah, whatever. Let's just get this done. And waves away the ghost stride activists as well. And is like, we're doing this. We're here. We're doing it.

Release the bait. And a truck comes out spraying blood and severed limbs everywhere. Like, this is the bait for the ghost? Which is also like, is this ghost stupid? Like, I don't understand. Where did these limbs come from? I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. Previous expeditions that have gone awry, perhaps. But so then the bait works and we see men being killed left and right by an invisible force that we don't see. But then they some of them put on these glasses that are that then allow them to see the ghosts. Wait, is it people from the like ghost hunting place that are being killed? Yes. OK, OK. All right.

They're pretty much everybody is being killed. It's a real bloodbath. And there's one man that is like climbing up a side of a little wall of crushed cars to try to get away. And from the inside of a trunk of a car, something pulls him in and breaks him in half like backwards. And he gets sucked in. Yikes. Yeah, it's nasty. But eventually they're able to lure the ghost into this cage.

But eventually they're able to lure the ghost into this cage. And they get him in there with another guy. One of the other ghost hunters pulled in there. And this ghost, we get a look at it. It's huge. It's a man, a big, huge, tall man, scary man. Big, huge, tall man scary man and he is bashing this other man to death in there and dennis is taking the glasses off and putting them on and it goes back and forth a lot between someone reacting to

something invisible to being able to see it like in the invisible man kind of like a lot of it is just like people being flung around by an invisible person and so they get it in the cage and then they're able to kind of assess the damage what's gone on and seemingly the the only survivors are kalina is the female ghost rights activist and Dennis. And we see Cyrus has been killed. His throat has been slit by like a piece of metal is sticking out of his throat. Basically, everybody dies. Wow. then we get the title card and go into a new scene that's all brightly warmly lit of tony shalhoub and his family uh his name is arthur and he has a daughter teenage daughter shannon elizabeth her name is kathy and a younger daughter a younger son named Bobby, who's probably eight.

Okay. No, he's probably older. I don't know. But he's young. And then his wife. And then the camera spins. Well, like slowly turns and moves across the house. And we hear sound design of a fire alarm and screaming and crying. And like a hospital like she's not going to make it and through this long camera panning uh it like shows the house changing

and through the sequence we learn that the the mother has died uh arthur's wife has died in a fire uh and it reminded me of the shot in new moon where the camera is just rotating around kristin stewart as the seasons are passing there's a possibility great great scene um it is a great scene so then we see present day this family's not doing great it seems like they're a little overwhelmed and feeling the loss of their mother and and wife and they have they have hired a nanny named maggie to help take care of Bobby and Kathy. But the place is messy. It's in disarray. Arthur's in over his head, struggling to keep everything in order. He's tripping over Bobby's toys and he's got a short temper. He's clearly really overwhelmed by raising the family, He's clearly really overwhelmed by raising the family, raising his kids alone now.

And there's a knock at the door and it's a lawyer. And the kids are like, are they going to make us leave the house? The kids say something in here where they're like, well, if we only had just if we had more money, we would have more space so we could get a nicer place. And Arthur's like, well, we don't have more money. money we would have more space so we could get a nicer place and arthur's like well we don't have more money it's just very funny to be like well dad if you just had more money things would be good get your shit together dad yeah this is also i believe only six months after losing his wife so it's like yeah we're not gonna be bouncing back quite that quickly kids that's not how it works also the kids are like old enough to be okay too right yeah you know what i mean it's not like he has like a two-year-old and a four-year-old like that shit's crazy

these kids like you gotta learn how to pick up after yourself yeah Kathy looks like basically an adult but this lawyer arrives his name is Ben Moss he's got a weird vibe right out the gate and he's like your uncle Cyrus left you something I he left you a video message that I'm supposed to play for you in in the event of his death and puts on this weird little film of Cyrus. And the kids are like, Uncle Cyrus, we didn't know we had Uncle Cyrus. And they're like, yeah, he blew the family fortune. And all the kids are like, our family fortune? We have a family fortune? And he says, no, Uncle Cyrus blew it all. But so we see this video of Uncle Cyrus talking to camera and he says, you know, one of my greatest regrets is that we didn't get to spend more time together. And so to make it up

to you, I'm leaving you my house in my will. And here's the key for it. The lawyer hands Arthur a key. And it's like, I hope I know this doesn't make up for it, for the, you know, us not having a relationship, but hopefully it can bring you some happiness and and make you make your life easier or whatever. And so they're like, hell, yeah, free house. Let's go check it out. So they all drive and the lawyer has a sinister vibe about him and so does the video of cyrus he's like like it all seems very creepy and weird and they just kind of accept it at face value as just a cool nice thing that's happened to them uh so we get to the house and it is real crazy looking it's an entirely glass house with little metal panels and writing inscribed on the glass in latin and looks yeah just like very strange it's really i think it is good production design i think roger ebert was right about that and as they arrive at the house and they're all like whoa

it's so cool it's just like not like a house that anybody would live in you know like this is a like a museum it's a crazy place and as they arrive at the house dennis is outside in an electrician uniform being like oh like the power's out on the block and i think it's this house that's made the shortage happen so i need to get inside to see the breakers the lawyer is suspicious and doesn't want to let him in. But eventually, eventually he does. Dennis is quite persistent and eventually they all go in. Can't say no to Lillard. And they all go in and inside it is equally weird and there's artifacts everywhere.

Again, Latin inscribed on every door and window. I mean, everything's glass so latin everywhere and the lawyer explains it like your your uncle was a collector of many things and they all just think this is really cool and as soon as they go inside we see dennis kind of grab his head again like he's having a vision and he shakes his head is like what did you do Cyrus what did you do asks to be directed to the basement where the breakers are and goes downstairs in the basement and again like collapses in pain like it seems like it's getting worse these visions he's getting closer to a ghost is what it seems like.

And he eventually pulls out his ghost glasses and looks at one of the rooms in the basement. There's like a bunch of different compartments in this basement. Little individual rooms. And looks in one room and a man who is like shredded a fully shredded man in the real sense of shredded not like cabin in the woods man not hot not hot literally shredded up with a baseball bat charges at matthew at dennis and like swings bat. But he is behind a glass pane that's inscribed with the Latin. And so he can't get to Dennis, but it scares Dennis. Dennis is like, oh, fuck, looks around.

We see that there is a ghost in each one of these compartments. Twelve. We don't we don't know yet, but yeah, probably. And so we see a bunch of the ghosts, a little little glimpses of the really fast glimpses. At first, we see one room that you can't even really see in it because it's just covered in blood. And you see like the top of a woman's head. We see someone with nails sticking out like big nails sticking out of his face. And someone that's that's head is in a metal cage,

like just the head part. But then the bars in front of his face are pressed open so he can still... It's very... Actually very funny. Just like a little metal box on his head, a little cage on his head, but the cage is open in the face part.

And Dennis runs upstairs screaming. He's freaked out. While this is happening, Kathy, Maggie and Bobby have gone off to explore the house a bit. And the lawyer and Arthur are sitting and going over paperwork and stuff. Arthur's like, I would never be able to afford the mortgage on this house like and are the lawyers saying like no it's all taken care of you don't have to worry about any of that so they're in the room together and in busts dennis screaming like we got it everybody got to get out of here and they're like well what's going on with the electricity like

what's happening he's like i'm not an electrician uh i used to hunt ghosts with your uncle and it's like this really silent moment and then tony shalhoub goes goats and dennis is like ghosts ghosts and of course they're you know not not taking him seriously the lawyer you can see might know what he's talking about but is trying to convince arthur otherwise saying this guy's crazy i think he owed or my your uncle owed him money that's what this is about and dennis is saying no no i swear you guys need to get out of the house. And then has a big vision and collapses to the ground. And Arthur gets up to help him and says, are you OK? And puts his hands on him.

And at that moment, Dennis gets a flash of how Arthur's wife died. He sees the fire and he sees the whole thing and he says, like, don't, like, get your hand off of me. Don't, don't touch me. And at this moment, the lawyer goes down into the basement. He is wearing the glasses and he walks down this row of all the little cells, compartments, whatever. And he's being rude to all of the ghosts.

He sees them and he's being rude to all of the ghosts he sees them and he's like one of them is like uh or he says to the baseball the shredded baseball bat guy like rough day and and then there's a little boy that has an arrow through his head and he says what are you staring at and just like stops at each one of these things. There's a naked woman who also is like covered in cuts, and he says, nice tits. What? So he's just being real rude to all these ghosts.

Really rude. So casual, casual about the supernatural, this ghost, this lawyer. Yeah, he knows That's really rude. It's so casual. Casual about the supernatural, this ghost. This lawyer. Yeah, he knows what's going on. He's been wise to what's up and been lying about it. But he walks to this kind of back room in the basement and grabs a big suitcase

of money and as he lifts it, we see that it was holding down a lever that is now released he doesn't notice and he's counting his money and he's like not so bad for a day's work oh he's about to get killed by those ghosts he taunted and we see that these levers being lifted set the whole house into motion and so the room like doors start opening. Other doors start closing.

It's really cool. It's like a little puzzle box house and just kind of keeps moving throughout the whole course of the film. But he's doesn't like notice this happening and he's just counting his money and he walks out into that hallway. And wouldn't you know it that lady the woman naked woman is now out in the hallway facing him and he goes oh baby he goes about earlier i i didn't mean it and she's got a big knife in her hand she's covered in blood

and she's just walking towards him silently. And he's stepping backwards, stepping backwards, stepping backwards. And then a sliding door slides closed on him, cutting him in half vertically, hot dog style. Holy shit. Like perfectly in half through his whole body. His tie falls off, his glasses fall. He's just like frozen for a moment and then the front half of his body slides down the glass and the back half of his body is still up so you see his like it's like a cross section you see his like brain and his insides it's nasty i'd forgotten about that part and it got me I was

I was surprised so now do we have 13 ghosts how does this work I guess Matthew Lillard has to catch the ghost first before there's like a 13th ghost yeah we'll get there there is some loose explanation to it

I don't know that it's airtight okay okay okay um but so arthur and dennis are now because the house is moving arthur is like okay something's going on and dennis is like i'm telling you like we need to get out of here and arthur you know might not believe him about the ghosts but is at least freaked out that the whole house is moving now and is like where are my kids i do want to get out of the house because i don't know what's happening so they go looking for the kids um kathy is upstairs in what she has basically claimed as her room there's like a little a bedroom with a a nice bathroom and she's in the bathroom smiling so big brushing her hair in the mirror just like

staring at her reflection like so happy with her big new beautiful house even though i feel like it's moving and she should know that too but she doesn't seem to be bothered by it and she's just like thrilled that she lives in this huge house now. And there's a pair of glasses next to her on the whatever sink in the bathroom. And the camera like moves through them. So now we get to see that we're seeing through the glasses as well. And we see that this whole bathroom is covered in blood. And Kathy's just brushing her hair looking so happy she can't see any of this because she's not wearing the glasses and next to her the naked woman appears oh no

stares at her own reflection in the mirror that's right and she the ghost gets in the bath which is filled with blood and we think maybe this is where she died we get an overhead view and on the floor it says i'm sorry i don't know she killed herself she died because that doesn't really make sense i don't know i hadn't really thought about that but it looks like a crime scene where she could have died maybe it's a recreation maybe it actually happened in another house and for some reason we're seeing it here anyways uh kathy walks over to the bathtub starts drawing a bath and the naked ghost in the bath is just kind of staring at her looking mad like i'm in here get out wait your turn this is my bathroom wait your turn bitch and then kathy is taking little cups of water into her hand and splashing them on her face and then the water turns to blood and she's filling

up her hands with blood water she can't see it that way it looks like regular water to her it keeps going back and forth between what she sees and what uh the ghost realm reality is and right as she's about we see that the lady ghost is getting mad, getting her knife out again like this bitch is ruining my bath time. And she's as she's about to stab her. And as Kathy's about to splash blood water on her face, Arthur finds her and like knocks on the door and is like, Kathy, we got to get out of here. Time for us to go. So Kathy gets up and walks away. And he says, where's Bobby? Is with maggie maggie walks in at that

moment saying he was with me but we were playing he got away i don't know where he went we see bobby alone uh riding a little scooter around the house and having a having a grand old time and he gets to the top of the stairs that lead to the basement and there are some voices saying poppy come down into the basement and he is wearing a pair of glasses he found a pair of glasses in a room somewhere and just thought they seemed like cool glasses so he's wearing them sure and he sees someone down in the basement, like cross the hall quickly. So he can't tell who it was, but he's like going, Maggie, is that you? And starts walking down there. And we hear another voice, similar ghosty voice saying like, no, Bobby, like stay upstairs.

Don't come down here, Bobby. But he keeps going. The glasses make you able to hear them too? I guess so. I don't come down here bobby but he keeps going the glasses make you able to hear them too i guess so i don't know okay but arthur maggie and kathy are together and they're trying to find an exit um dennis is sitting in a chair in the room that they're in looking really defeated and he's like don't bother like it's sealed like we're not fucking getting out of here this is like the whole point of the house and what's happening is we're supposed to be trapped in here and they're like not totally willing to accept this yet and they're like okay well either way we have to go find bobby and help us find

bobby and as they're walking out magg Maggie says, what happened to the lawyer? Did the lawyer split? Which I thought was funny. Little does she know. And Dennis explains a bit here that the writing on the glass walls are containment spells and ghosts can't pass them. So they're all kind of laughing at this like ghost rules. And he says the spiritual realm does have rules and that's just the way it is. So as long as we're behind a closed glass door, a ghost wouldn't be able to get us on the other side. He says, and all the ghosts are in the basement. Like I saw them,

I was down there earlier. They're all in the basement and arthur realizes that's where bobby is and he heads he starts walking down did they believe him that there are ghosts or are they just like okay then whatever not yet okay none of them have seen them except for him right so i think they i mean they know something is wrong but i think they're still rolling their eyes a bit at the ghost thing. Yeah. And Arthur starts heading down at the basement. Dennis says, did I say there was a petting zoo down there, man? No, I said there were ghosts down there. He's a little Bill Paxton in Aliens, too. I feel like it's that kind of vibe. But he's like, well, I think my son's down here, so I'm going down here. but he's like well i think my son's down here so i'm going down here sorry and then we cut back to bobby who is looking around in the in the hallways hearing noises peeking around corners and he sees

a ghost and we don't get a good look at it looks like a woman that has her neck broken and he runs. And as he's running, he sees just a torso like moving around that's wrapped in saran wrap with a head with the head next to it in a plastic bag. That's kind of moving towards him. And then he runs again and runs into a wall and it knocks him over. And then he sees his mom. And she has a little IV bag with her. Like she's in a hospital gown with burn marks on her face.

Oh my God. Oh, sad. That's sad. And she says, go upstairs, Bobby. Go upstairs. Oh my god. Oh, sad. That's sad. And she says, go upstairs, Bobby. Go upstairs. Oh. And then he sees Cyrus.

And this is our first look at Cyrus, but he, I mean, Bobby doesn't know who Cyrus is, but Cyrus just looks like a creepy rich man with a slit throat now. And so Bobby just gets up and starts i think running to try to find how to get back upstairs and so then the basement is really big also like there's a lot of corridors and it's always shifting and so we don't like it's hard to

gauge like how far you are from anything like where anybody else is they're also all soundproof glass things so that you can't hear someone screaming somewhere else. Oof. Okay. So then Maggie, Dennis and Kathy go downstairs into the basement in search of Bobby

and Arthur and split up into groups of two because it's like they're it's big down here so Arthur goes with Kathy and Dennis goes with Maggie and as they get down there Dennis he's like oh fuck the doors are open why are these doors open oh this is not good and they're kind of asking him like what do you mean about these ghosts? Like, this is stupid. And he's like, you know, most ghosts are harmless.

Sure. Like, but these ghosts are ghosts that died or like people that died violent deaths. And when you die a violent death, you stay in a torture realm. Like, you stay violent. That sucks. Yeah. I hope that's not true. What's sort of the logic of, was it the grudge yes and i think we've heard that like ideology before about if you yeah die in a bad way or something like that

yeah i like when like logic about things like this carries over from different different films or whatever it's like okay cool that's a rule we just decided exists. Yeah. I mean, I buy it. Violent ghosts from violent deaths. Tracks. Tracks. Totally.

But so Dennis and Maggie are walking down the hall together. Dennis is wearing the glasses. Maggie isn't. And he's like, wear the glasses like I can prove you prove to you that they're down here you'll see one eventually she puts them on she can't see she's like I don't see anything he's like give back to me let me see let me see puts one on and looks in a room and a ghost jumps out at him and it's the it's called the the the hammer it's he's just called the hammer and he has nails all in him and he's got a big hammer.

And Dennis says, I hate when they do that. They wait till your face is all up close to the glass and then they jump out at you. And he then gives Maggie the glasses. And because the hammer is behind glass, like it's they're not an immediate danger. She's able to just look at the ghost and is like oh fuck okay well yeah that's i guess it that is real that is what's happening and they dennis turns and sees one door that is open has a particular sign above it symbol and he says oh fuck the jackal is out and if the jackal is out screw bobby we need to get out of here like let's find our way out and as they turn to leave uh dennis gets another vision and we see it is a vision of Dennis being killed by the ghosts.

He sees himself being killed. Yes. Yikes. Which is not good. So he can see into the future, too. I guess so, but not too distant future. Uh-oh. But he looks scared by this,

and they are trying to find a their way out and we see kathy and arthur are in a different part of the basement and down at the end of the hallway we see the jackal who is the one with the little cage on his head. And he charges at Kathy. And I think she has glasses on. One of them does and one of them doesn't. And so this whole scene keeps, again, cutting back and forth between invisible action and the jackal actually being there.

And he just uses his fingernails and is like scratching her all over, like slicing her face. He slices her clothes off. There's one shot that's like very this, like this time period only of like her shirt by her bra being ripped off. And it's like, okay, we don't need that shot.

But she gets fucked up and she gets like lifted up into the air arthur sees this all and goes to save her or goes to try to save her but he i think he's the one that like can't see what's happening so he's like i don't know what the fuck to do and at this moment someone throws a flare in and we turn and see that it is Kalina, the ghost rights activist woman, showing up at this time. Is she alive? She's alive. Okay.

And she's got the glasses on and she throws this flare and it scares the jackal off, which is just also very funny. I guess flares spook them. And and they're able to pull Kathy away and they like get up out of the basement and to to safety, at least like a little brief moment of safety. And at this point, Dennis and Maggie are are also trying to run and. They see the little boy goes, they see the slashed woman again, they're like seeing all these ghosts they're like oh fuck oh fuck and then the four of them or the five of them meet up and they like get to the same same area and dennis is but not bobby not bobby bobby's still missing okay but dennis says to kalina like how the fuck why are you here how did you get in and she says i got in through an opening when the

house was moving but don't get your hopes up it's not gonna happen again it's like okay well that's convenient yeah and she's saying oh she says to arthur she's kind of saying it under her breath like i can't believe cyrus actually built this and she's kind of saying it under her breath, like, I can't believe Cyrus actually built this. And she's got little spell books with her and all these little things like she's kind of knows what's going on. And she says, we're in the middle of a machine built by the devil and powered by the dead. And I came here to set these souls free. And so if you want me to help you find your son, you have to help me first. OK, so just like let them loose

on the general public bad though are you gonna keep them from murdering people that's my biggest question about this is especially because we got that line in the beginning that they are still able to like kill people out in the wild like this guy just attacked her and scratched her yeah so but i feel like i like i could maybe buy it if it was like they're only acting this way because they're imprisoned and they're trying to get free right but there's the opening scene where they are out in the world and it said that he killed 40 people after he had died so yeah it doesn't make sense but we're still supposed to we're on we're on the side of the ghost rights activist though we're like a fan of hers but i am i'm questioning it for sure just like that seems like a weird plan i'd be a little

more concerned about the alive human boy um and arthur turns to kathy to be like what do you think and kathy is gone. I don't know where she went. They're like, oh, fuck, where the hell did she go? She's, like, all wounded. Where the heck did she go? Oh, fuck, I should have been paying attention to my daughter, who got just attacked by a ghost.

Kalina says at this point, we have to get to the library. The library has protective spells all around it. If we can get in there, like, we'll be safe. And so they all get in there and Kalina says something to Dennis of like, did you not tell him he deserves to know about Arthur? and Arthur's like, what? What do I deserve to know? And Kalina says to him, six months ago at this hospital was like one of the ghosts that we caught

and Arthur puts it together and is like, are you telling me my wife is in here? My wife is one of the captured ghosts and Kalina's like, yes, that's yeah, and Dennis did it. Dennis was the one that caught him and Dennis is like, I didn't know who she was. Like Cyrus picked all the people. Like I never was in charge of any of that.

That wasn't my job. Her and then they got her after she had died. Yes. I see. OK, OK. But weird that they only picked super violent ghosts. And then this is about dying violently, I think. And so she died violently because she was. Yeah. But just because you die violently doesn't mean you're going to try to murder... Oh, I guess the bath lady wasn't trying to murder you, necessarily. She looked capable of it. Okay.

More so than Arthur's wife, anyways. But we get some exposition here now from Kalina where she pulls out her little spell book and she says you can still save her soul. What's happening here is that they needed 12 earthbound spirits. They represent the black Zodiac. We have one, the firstborn son to the torso.

Three, the bound woman for the withered lover. That's Arthur's wife. Oh, five. The torn prince. That's Arthur's wife. Oh, five, the torn Prince. That's the baseball guy. Six, the angry princess. That's the naked lady.

Seven, the pilgrims. There's been a little glimpse of like a pilgrim lady in like, uh, the gallows, uh, eight and nine are the great child and mother. And we've seen a glimpse of them as well.

They're nasty. It's like an adult man dressed as a baby with like vomit all over his bib and like an old woman like tending to him i don't like that it's really gross and 10 is the hammer he's the one with all the nails in him 11 is the jackal 12 is the juggernaut which is the one that they captured in the beginning the really big guy and kalina says the machine requires the energy of these specific spirits and once you have them all it like powers the center and can open or turn on the ocularis and arthur goes ocularis looks in his in his, searching his memory.

And he's like, if my Latin, if I remember, it means the eye of hell. And she says, yeah, that's right. So if this all goes through, it will open the eye to hell. And Dennis says, well, wait a second. You said something about the 13th ghost and like what does that mean the 13th ghost and kalina says the 13th ghost is fail safe it is a willing human sacrifice that must cyrus kill himself in that juggernaut battle um possibly but it says like it must be a sacrifice of love of like pure good love um and so she says

arthur you're the third you're the 13th ghost and you'll have to sacrifice yourself to save your kids and that will be what like sets this all in motion but you can stop it i don't know it's pretty convoluted it's a lot of rules to remember so they need 13 ghosts in order to open the gate of hell the hell gate but then if that 13th ghost is a sacrifice of love then it won't work uh let's go with that i don't actually know okay okay i'm telling it realizing it i don't understand maybe 12 ghosts can open the gate to hell. If a 13th person sacrifices himself out of love, it won't open the gate to hell.

I think that's right. That's how you keep the gate. Also, it's really funny. We'll just keep going because the logic of this doesn't really matter. But I'm having a hard time finding a through line between the types of ghosts that we... A pilgrim, a torso, a hammer, like all the

classic, all the classic stereotypes of ghosts the adult baby that their production design team was just like designed these ghosts and then retroactively. Well let's see, we can make

a torso, that's for sure we can make a torso that's for sure we can make yeah yeah pilgrims that's the logical next step i've got this hedged head-sized cage can that be one of them i've been trying to work this into a project a while ago i would love to put it to use uh and so dennis at this moment says okay arthur let's go find your kids while there's still time like this doesn't make sense we just need to get out of here no it does not and so they they decide to go down into the basement one last time to try to find bobby and kathy and they bring with them with them a loose pane of glass

that has the same inscriptions on it as like a shield that they can hide behind. Not a bad plan. So they go down into the basement, just the two of them. And then Maggie and Kalina are alone in the library.

There's this big machine thing that's like spinning rings like really big like 20 a bunch of like gears yes yes like a gear like spinning thing and i don't know this is apparently the control room or something i don't really know and maggie turns maggie's wearing glasses and she sees cyrus and like tries to get Kalina's attention and is like, oh, fuck, oh, fuck. I haven't seen this guy before. Like there's one in here. Kalina turns.

It grabs a book and knocks Maggie unconscious and takes off her glasses and we see Cyrus remains. So he is not a ghost. Oh, what? He seemingly faked his death and is his accomplice's Kalina. Okay, that honestly makes more sense in certain ways. I guess so. Sure. In certain ways.

In certain ways, this is the correct choice and he's really mean to kalina right out of the gate yelling at her like where's the spells like you idiot she's like i did everything you asked me to i killed my my partner the other ghost the ghost activist guy and i lured them all here and whatever and uh yeah she like quickly turns into like kind of groveling to him and he's just really mean to her and then we go uh back downstairs and uh or back into the basement and Dennis andthur are walking down the hall with their little glass shield dennis i think has one more vision of himself being killed and sees that it is the juggernaut that kills him and looks down the hall and sees the hammer coming the hammer guy and in an act of self-sacrifice or also maybe thinking like oh it's

hammer guy so i'm safe um says to uh arthur only one of us can fit behind this pane of glass and kind of squeezes him into the corner so that the glass can protect him and decides to fight the hammer ghost uh and hammer ghost is winning and uses his hammer smashes dennis's hand dennis screams in pain and then the house starts moving again more doors are opening and we see finally the 12th ghost is the juggernaut and his is the last door to open and he steps into the hall dennis is obviously very upset realizing like oh this is it and sure enough the juggernaut comes up and grabs dennis and lifts him into the air and presses his body against the corner of a room like basically breaking him in half internally okay yeah so dennis dies oh so that's how matthew lillard dies Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Wait, did we already go over this? So does that mean that Arthur is still trying to kill himself or not trying to kill himself?

Because we know that this ghost lady is not who she says she is. I think they were trying to find like another way to do it. I think he was kind of similarly to us, just like, what? way to do it i think he was kind of similarly to us just like what like let me try to just get them and get out first first yeah maybe i won't just kill myself like let me try something else first like okay i hear you but let's do another thing let's have that be the last i'll try something else that could be a backup for sure it'll be a backup plan but so now down in the basement we see Arthur crying

mourning Dennis's death that he has just witnessed and as he's crying sort of a sacrifice out of love you know that's an argument that one could make and again one that is not explored in this film okay cool and as he's crying we see

through the glass his wife approaching him looking sad and she puts her hand up on the glass he puts his hand up on the glass says i miss you i'm nothing without you and we see back in the library We see back in the library, Kalina and Cyrus putting the last part of this plan into motion. And they're now playing some sort of Latin over speakers in the whole house. And as this Latin plays, the ghosts are drawn into the center of the house where this final ritual i guess must take place so as uh his arthur's wife has her hand on the glass she vanishes like she has been called up into this main room and we see kalina saying to cyrus arthur you know he's open to the sacrifice thing he's open to it but he won't do it unless he believes his kids are actually in danger and cyrus says okay so put them in danger and okay kalina looks like horrified by this which is really crazy

because this seems very much like this guy's vibe and i just don't think it's out of character for him to suggest suggest this but she seems really taken aback so there's a little goodness left in kalina okay uh but then as they're walking to from the library to this like main center room cyrus presses some sort of lever that makes the walls of the room that they're in start closing. And Kalina is on the other side of the room and starts like trying to get out of the room and is yelling after him, Cyrus, Cyrus. And he says, I told you this project would take sacrifices. And she gets smushed between two panels of glass and her eyes pop out of her head. mushed between two panels of glass and her eyes pop out of her head it looks pretty cheesy and it cuts before anything gets too crazy because apparently they had it the whole death and it

it would have given it an nc-17 rating so they like cut it out just before but so you just see her eyes start to like bulge out of her head and blood coming out of all of her orifices. Lovely. But this is, you know, why you don't date the guy that's trying to open the gate to hell. Yeah. Wait, Kalina and Cyrus were dating? Sorry, I missed that part. Oh yeah, sorry. They were like romantically involved. Sorry.

When she knocks out Maggie, like they immediately kiss. And then he starts being an asshole to her okay okay but yeah having this plan a little bit of a red flag for dating a little bit for future reference uh we see the main room where this final ritual will happen all those like spinning gear things they're like it's like a spherical thing with a bunch of different spinny parts. And in the center are Kathy and Bobby.

And all the ghosts are now surrounding them, chanting in Latin, whatever. And Arthur runs up and sees this, and he sees Cyrus, and he's looking back and forth between Cyrus and the room and he literally counts all 12 ghosts.

He's like, one, two. Again, we go through all of them. This is in the trailer, too, of just like counting to 12 each time. And it's like, OK, it takes a long time to count. It takes a long time. And but he counts them all. And but he counts them all. And then he turns to Cyrus and says, if I'm the 13th ghost, who are you?

Takes off his glasses, sees that Cyrus is not dead, charges at him, starts trying to beat him up. But Cyrus quickly gets the upper hand. He's got a little knife and he holds it to Arthur's throat. And he's like, you're so pathetic, like you need to be the sacrifice. like you need to be the sacrifice um and as this is happening we see maggie has stayed in the control room she's regained consciousness i guess and she just starts pulling levers pressing buttons making things go haywire and so i don't know a little smoke is coming out of things things are the ghosts are able to, I think it turns off the Latin chanting thing. And so the ghosts are able to, like, breaks the spell on them and they're able to just walk out. And they walk straight to Cyrus.

And they all, there's like, you know that shot where it's like looking up and all of the heads are in a circle around. So they're all just like looking down on him being like all right we got you now motherfucker and they grab him and they toss him into the spinning thing and just chops him into a million little pieces because of how like fast it's spinning it's just like a big metal spinning gears chops them all up and uh arthur puts the glasses back on and sees dennis now as the last little motivational thing dennis says you can still do this you can finish this you have the power within you a little cryptic message that i don't understand because again this plan is a little power for what knowledge of latin what is it but to do what i don't know but what's my goal here

and he says and arthur's looking at this spinning thing and every 15 seconds or so, the spinning rings line up in a way that they're flat. And so it would be like safe for one second. And so he takes a leap of faith and he runs in and is able to land perfectly in the middle with his children. Shalhoub, he did it. He embraces them, protects them, as the whole house basically explodes just from all these levers being pushed. Maggie's

just doing something crazy. And the house just explodes. Like around them, but it doesn't hurt them. It's like, yeah, all the glass shatters. They're safe. Okay.

But then they, after it all settles down, the dust settles, they see the mom, Arthur's wife, there looking like she did when she was alive. Like something has been restored, I i guess like maybe she's not trapped in this torture realm anymore and she says okay i love you and then she disappears so they just have a nice moment and then we see outside of the house all the ghosts like just released into the wild they're all free which is you know musically treated like a happy ending like this is nice music of but they don't they don't disappear and become good like she did they just like walk away they just walk away no and they walk away with maggie saying this is crazy none of this

was in my job description i quit end of the movie wait this movie was a delight honestly i was smiling ear to ear the entire time it's pretty fun i think this would be a really fun one to like watch with the group it's it's so silly i love just boldly being like yeah it doesn't make sense yeah let's just make a whole movie and like no don't explain it no it's fine don't worry about it yeah just yeah and then it ends yeah we did it we did it yeah yes we made a movie and it is based i mean there no i guess it's not based on a book, but there was another movie in the 60s or in 1960.

I'm very curious to know more about that one. Yeah. But yeah, it's fun. Matthew Lillard makes everything good. And Tony Shalhoub, too. I mean, I feel like they're pretty great in it. And so I think 17% is harsh. What's not to love?

That's harsh. 17%. I will admit that it doesn't make sense. Sure. Yeah, I just can't get behind the being, wanting to release them into the wild. Well, especially because then we established that she is bad. Like, was she even actually a ghost rights activist? You know, like, we don't know. Well, especially because then we established that she is bad.

Like, was she even actually a ghost rights act? You know, like, we don't know. I don't think she was. I think it was all an act pre-planned by her and Cyrus. Because she says, like, I did everything you asked. Right. Okay. Well, all right. I loved it.

I loved it. I honestly loved it. I loved it I loved it I honestly loved it I loved it and the thing is I don't have like anything to say about it I also don't I also don't I do think it's worth a watch if you're even

just moderately brave because I do think the production design is good. Matthew Lillard is great. See if you can figure out the plot better than we did. Yeah, would love to know. Drop us a note if it all makes sense to you. Yeah, it's just a fun, it's exactly 90 minutes. Love

a 90 minute movie. Amazing. That's great. We love that. It's on Netflix, so it's free. If you have Netflix. It's not free for everybody, but you know what I mean. Yeah. You don't have to rent it. No, it's just right there. Netflix

is increasing their prices, though. Henley, can you talk to them about that? Henley, can you do that? Is that you? Did you do that? Yeah. What do you have to say for you? Did you do that? Yeah. What do you have to say for yourself? Could you speak to it, Henley, please? Listen.

Yeah, I don't know. I didn't know that. The thing about working at Netflix is you don't get a free subscription. You don't? No, because they want you to, like, still be customers of the service. So be, like, paying for it to, like, be able want you to like still be customers of the service. So be like paying for it to like. Are you like allowed to not have Netflix if you work at Netflix? Oh, yeah.

I mean, freedom and responsibility, baby. That's part of our culture. You could definitely not have Netflix. I don't know how you like. I bet a lot of people probably don't. I don't know. I bet they all do. I don't know.

I guess you don't have to have Netflix to do certain jobs at Netflix. But yeah, probably not. I didn't know they were raising their prices. That's too bad. People don't seem happy about it, but as long as they keep adding more content like 13 Ghosts, I'll pay anyway. Sure. Sure. Sure.

No, people tend to not be happy when you raise the price for something that they, you know, already have. The thing that's kind of like bothering me about it is it feels like they're constantly raising their prices. It feels like it's too often that they're raising their prices. Yeah. And they claim that if you work at Netflix, the reason that you pay for it is because then you can have like, you know, an active voice as a subscriber. But the thing is, is I'm sure a bunch of employees are like what the fuck stop raising your prices and they're like sorry we're gonna do it anyway we don't care um the stock also plummeted for netflix really i don't know whether you guys noticed that or not

well yeah i keep an eye on the stock or well i do know that crypto has been suffering. So and it's somewhat tied to the stock market. Actually, I don't even I don't even know that confidently, but that's how it exists. It sounded right. Yeah. You know, my mom actually sent me an article about that. And I have meant to ask her why she sent me that article. I have no idea why she would care. I'll follow up.

Alright, guys. Were there any, I guess a Matthew Lillard impression is overdue. Give us Lillard, baby. Give us Lillard. From all of us here at Two... It's just the same as my Bill Paxton. I can't separate the two in my head. I'm trying to think about what is he saying?

Did I say there was a petting zoo down there? I'm losing a lot of blood, man. What is he saying then? Oh, I can't remember. From all of us here at Too Scary Didn't Watch, goodbye! Goodbye!

It might not have been our best, but I still liked it. I still liked it. Hi, everybody. Thank you so much for listening to another episode of Too Scary Didn't Watch. If you enjoyed the episode, please remember to subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. And if you really want to make our day, you can rate us five stars on Apple Podcasts and on Spotify. You can also follow us on social media at TSDW Podcast. We are on

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