Too Scary; Didn't Watch - TWILIGHT with Joel Jensen (Vault Release)

Episode Date: November 22, 2023

This week we are thankful for our soon to be HOT DAD, Robert Pattinson!! And of course we are most thankful for all of YOU xoxoThis episode was originally released as a bonus episode on our Patreon in August 2021.Recap begins @ 22:46Follow the show: @TSDWpodcast on Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram.Check out our Patreon for bonus episodes and additional content!Rate Too Scary; Didn’t Watch 5 Stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Emily, Henley, and Sammy.Advertise on Too Scary; Didn't Watch via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. This was originally recorded in August of 2021, and it also exists as a video episode that's available on our Patreon at patreon.com slash tsdwpodcast if you're interested in checking that out. Otherwise, we'll be back next week with a new episode. We're going to be recapping Terrified, not to be confused with Terrifier. So just if you're in the mood for some spooky movie watching this holiday weekend, check out Terrified on Shudder. And we'll talk about it next week. Until then, we hope you enjoy this very unhinged episode. I feel like we get very unhinged when

we talk about Twilight, or Don't Worry Darling, or Titanic. Titanic is another episode available on our Patreon. So a lot of great stuff on there. Oh, you know what? We also have a recap of Twilight New Moon on our Patreon. So if you finish listening to this episode and you're feeling like you really got to continue with the Twilight series, great news. You can do that by joining our patreon anyways um enjoy this episode and have a good holiday if you're in the states and of course congrats to our guy robert pattinson rob for the wonderful news that he will soon be a hot dad to them all. This is Emily, Henley, and Sammy. And you're listening to Too Scary, Didn't Watch.

Hi, everyone. Welcome to Too Scary, Didn't Watch. We just knocked on our headphones. It's bonus episode number two for the month of August. This is, well, it's a video episode if you're in 25 Class Center Circle. So you may notice we've got a couple a couple fun guests i would say um we are doing twilight as promised and as promised we have brought along our dear friend and correspondent joel who has never seen a twilight movie joel introduce yourself hey Hey, everybody. I'm Joel, classic edition correspondent. Yeah, I'm very curious about this movie. Never seen it. I'm

of the age bracket of people, especially young men who sneered at these movies when they came out. But I'm going to bring an open mind and an open heart and an open mouth full of sharp teeth. Oh my God. That's all we can ask. That's all we can ask for. Full of sharp teeth. Wow. Not just two, not just the, not just the two. No way, man. A whole bunch. Bicuspids,

incisors, molars, wisdom teeth. Yeah, no, I'm looking forward to this. I know you guys are passionate about it. I'm obviously a big Robert Pattinson fan, big Kristen Stewart fan. And to see them united on screen, man, what a dream that must have been. And it is a dream. Did they have a combo name

I was wondering that and I don't think so they were just our patch and case too slightly before that was a bit but no because we had Bennifer and all sorts of things no yeah just yeah case to our pets I don't know let's give them one they both had their own nicknames

that are hard to Robert Crob Crob had their own nicknames car hard hard to crobert crob crob crob ribston crobston robson crobston is pretty good crobston patwort perfect so maybe that's why they didn't have one yeah I was literally thinking this just today and I was like I don't think that they did how long were they together for? several years I looked this up because I knew this would come up

they dated from 2009 to 2012 so four years so a long time basically the entire duration of the Twilight franchise because the first one came out in 2008 that's where they presumably met and fell in love the entire duration of the Twilight franchise because the first one came out in 2008. That's where they presumably met and fell in love. Breaking Dawn Part Two came out in 2012, around the time that she had a public cheating scandal with Rupert Sanders. Wasn't that fucking

crazy? Really was. Because he was also married and much older yeah we catch us up on the details of that cheating scandal something about robert pattinson saw them in a car no they got paparazzi it was on like cover of magazines he was the director of snow white and the huntsman that she was in and yeah paparazzi just caught them canoodling and that was the end of crobert crobson so that's the so that's the end and obviously the low point but what would you guys say was the high point of that relationship outside of this franchise existing like within the realm of you know um pop culture and paparazzi and shit like that what is the high point i don't think i remember enough details i was gonna say outside of the context of twice because i was when

i was gonna say that vanity fair photo shoot oh those pictures but that's you know twilight promo but they're so good we'll show you listeners we'll show you okay and joel any thoughts no no no nope it definitely feels like they were a relationship because they were both in an extremely uh crazy situation together at the same time experience there was the only other person on the planet who was experiencing the same thing they were experiencing right and they were just in a relationship because of it um they both just seem like oddballs in real life i was gonna say a thing we know now is that they're both so weird like i feel like i didn't i wasn't paying as much attention at the time but i didn't and obviously we didn't see where their like careers would go but because they were just two megastars like young hot megastars

but they're so they're both like very very strange so the more i know about them now because you know i really know them now um i think like maybe they actually were incredibly compatible yeah maybe um it made me very happy when i think this was a few years ago now, but they were spotted getting a friendly drink together at Edendale and- Made me really happy. I was like, God, imagine being in that bar at that time. I would have dropped dead.

For your listeners, just a little bit of context. One of our friends threw up in a bush at the Edendale one. Just for some context. just for some context just for some context if you're wondering what sorts of things the full spectrum of the human experience can happen at edendale robert pattinson in case you can get a friendly drink somebody else can throw up in bush but i think it's an important piece of kind of bar it is it's really not it's like pretty chill it's like weird for superstars to be hanging out there yeah yeah nice patio though i once brought a selfie stick there on my birthday and took selfie stick photos in the photo booth get that photo booth lighting with a selfie stick i i remember

that selfie stick i remember that birthday sammy that was a good birthday so it's a crazy one i remember that birthday it was very fun um should i tell you some stats about twilight you fucking better so it came out in 2008 it was directed by katherine hardwick it was written by melissa rosenberg based on the novel by stephanie meyer starring kristen stewart robert pattinson billy burke taylor lautner and peter fashionelli fashionelli fashionelli love them right carlisle oh carlisle yeah well i forgot to look up the, I got to know the Rotten Tomatoes. I'm going to guess. Okay.

Let's guess. Let's guess. I'm going to say 43. No, 50. I have no idea. I bet those, I bet the next ones are lower, but I bet the first one's like 50. You're pretty close. Okay.

What is it? 49. Okay. And Metacritic is 56 and IMDB 5.2. Fair. Yeah. But I think you're right. I think the later ones got really slammed, even though they're all really good.

Yeah. New Moon's got 28. New Moon's my favorite. Taylor Lautner. Yeah. I'm team Jacob, which would come as a shock to many because nobody is team Jacob. Nobody in the world except for me. You're the only one. Yeah. What makes you team Jacob? I think it's mainly because the thing that I like about the movies is that they're just so, so stupid. And Jacob is like the stupidest character and his dial. It's like so cheesy. And it's I just laugh non-stop when jacob is on screen and he and like the thing is at least for for me like everything the dialogue for everyone is very stupid everyone is everything about these movies is like really extreme but robert pattinson obviously as we know is incredible

kristen stewart it's not her best, but I still love her in these movies. Taylor Lautner is bad. And he's doing a bad job with bad dialogue in a crazy situation. And so it's just everything about it is like, what? Also, yeah, he was 16 in the first film. So he's pretty young. And that's a wig he's wearing, right? Oh, in the first one so he's pretty young and that's a wig he's wearing right i mean in the

first one the wig yeah that's 100 always it might as well be a hat i didn't want to be i didn't want to know, just in case this is real hair, you know? No. It's the craziest wig I've ever seen. It's like, all they had to do was get a normal, it's like, it's like a standard wig, right? Like, it's like a, like black hair, shoulder length, black hair. Like, isn't every- The wigs in these movies aren't great. I feel like Kristen Stewart wears some wigs in the later ones.

And they also look so bad. But it's like such a basic standard wig it's like literally the most basic wig you can buy and somehow they like fucked it up so hard like it's almost like they put just extensions starting here down and the rest is his real hair i don't know maybe i mean we're gonna get some pictures of that yeah it's not it's not a good wig um have either of you read the books and I say either because I know that you have not I have not I feel like I did read the first one in college I think I did but I have I don't know I don't really know I read them all like last year two years ago some very recently i was like okay fine

i'll read them uh which is also the first time i saw all the movies they're wild i mean the books is there any notable difference with the books versus the movies i don't think so right jenna would be a much better person to ask i know she has thoughts but uh i have no idea no no i don't think so um i've heard that the wigs are much better in the books that's true great in the book the wigs are really the wig work in the books 70 that's one thing she knows how to do a good hair piece um yeah it's just as problematic in the books I think maybe more so because you get more like inner monologue, which is problematic. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I guess we should just start off and say that, that, yeah, these we are not saying these are great. A hundred percent wonderful movies in every sense of the word they're very problematic but

they're very problematic they're so funny they're so funny and special i and yeah so stephanie meyer is mormon and these are very very very mormon messaging in this book about a man saving you and, and saving yourself for him and forever. And he protects you and, um, sex will kill you. Yeah. So there's a lot, there's a lot of that. I went to a Mormon wedding once and it was so weird. Their vows were like, I, the woman was like, I promise to serve you and you serve God. It was like, I, the woman served the man and the man, so that the man may better serve God. And I was just like in the, what do you call it?

I was like at my table, like, fuck, fuck, fuck. I hate this so much. Yeah. Not so that's a tea that's definitely happening in these books but what else our movie we're not gonna talk about the books movie but what is also happening is robert pattinson is glittering shining with the most furrowed brow you've ever seen and it really is a sight to behold i was watching this every time i've seen i've only seen this movie like four three or four times which i think is a sight to behold. I was watching this every time I've seen it. I've only seen this movie like three or four times,

which I think is a lot. Every time I see it, I forget until I'm watching it how like beautiful he is. At times I think he also looks quite bad, but he still always looks very beautiful. He's striking. It's just his most like, yeah. You just get so much of him in the whole movie is like edward so you're just constantly just like looking at him

looking like very they like lighten his skin and like intensive it's just like it's like really a lot to look i mean like it we see well it's just a lot it's it's like i want to know i want to see like the makeup tutorial for edward collins makeup look a lot of that exists on youtube yeah like it's like it's like he was doing contouring before we were all doing contouring you know it was like he should be the contour queen not the card highlighting to be completely honest yeah the makeup is strong and it's so really catches you off guard the first time you see at least for me when i see i was like whoa he's wearing a full face of makeup

he definitely is yeah um do you guys want to watch the trailer before we get into it what do you think is it time for that? I think that we should. I think that Joel should go into this with some visuals. Yeah. Have you seen this trailer, Joel? I'm sure at some point you have. No, I have not.

Never in your life. I don't know when I would have. On TV when it came out. I guess it's possible, but I don't recall it. The listeners want to know I know this like back and forth is very funny it's like you're interviewing when did you see it what year did it come out eight thousand eight is that what you said year eight 2008 where was i in 2008 i was had you moved to la what years yeah i was in la

it was like my first year in la i think i don't i don't think i ever saw a trailer for it's it is possible but i like didn't have a tv well i'm excited to see this and to um i'm excited for you to see it because i think something that is very distinctive about the movie is like the production quality and the lighting and the color sammy did you say budget because i would be because it does it is like the craziest looking movie and also i guess 2008 But it's everything honestly looks so bad. But they had to have spent so much fucking money on this movie. Budget was $37 million. Oh, that's not a lot.

That's not actually that crazy. It made $407 million. Okay, so they should have spent more. I know where the money should have gone. One thing that, Joel, I hope they highlight is that they do so many 360 shots there's so many just like dramatic like 360 shots that are i would like synth 2000 synth electronic guitars in the background the camera work is really now i'm like joel you just have to watch this i mean you kind of do this i have watch the movie. But I guess we'll see what we get to see in the trailer.

Maybe we'll get a good peek. Let's take a look. Let's take a look. Let's take a look. You're impossibly fast and strong. You got to give me some answers. I'd rather hear your theories. I have considered radioactive spiders and kryptonite.

It's all superhero stuff, right? What if I'm not the hero? What if I'm the bad guy? You know what you are. Your skin is pale white and ice-cool. You don't go out into the sunlight. Say it out loud. Say it. Vampire. Are you afraid? No. This isn't real.

This kind of stuff just doesn't exist. It doesn't in my world. I just want to try one thing. I don't know how long I've waited for you. What is going on? A security guard at the mill got killed by some kind of animal. An animal? My family, we're different from others of our kind. You brought a snack. What, nobody's coming after me?

The hunt is his obsession. He's never gonna stop. I'd rather die than to stay away from you. You are my life now. Joel, a couple quick thoughts. First off, the first thing that hits in that trailer is how horny it is immediately because the first thing that happens is you hear a woman breathing um like like bed breathing you know what i mean

you know so how you like you can give somebody bed eyes? Yes. Bedroom eyes. Sorry. Bedroom breathing. That's bedroom breathing. She does that throughout. She does that throughout. Like that. So that's the first thing I was like,

oh, so this is very horny. And then the second thing that I really well, there's three things i guess and i'll save the biggest one for the three number two the pacific northwest setting is beautiful distinct and smart to own as far as a franchise goes you don't see a lot of big franchises set in the pacific northwest there is a very good explanation for why they're in the pacific north winds not a lot of sun yeah that's the one so i was happy to see them in a big ass tree in that setting that was beautiful and then third i couldn't get enough of ro you see why he is who he is because it's

like i don't care what he's doing i want to watch him i want to watch him i want to watch him like i couldn't tell if his accent was a bad boston accent or if i just couldn't get enough of it you know what i mean i wanted to like lean in and be like, stop cutting the shot. I want to hear him talk more. You could do that. You could watch the movie. I mean, we'll see about it. We'll see about it.

I think, yeah. But he's hot as fuck in that shit. He is. He is super hot. And also, I think one thing about his accent is that he's trying to talk like he's like old timey, like he's like from the olden times. And there's a lot going on with it. Yeah. So he talks in this like formal way, which is no, no real accent that exists in the world.

I think it was also his first movie where he had to do an American accent. And he said that he had no training. So he's just winging it. That is also crazy to make him the star of this movie and be like, yeah, figure it out. No voice coach for you, star of the movie. Also, he's always like pain. Every time he's talking in this movie, he's like really pained.

He's trying not to kill her. He's trying not to kill her. I think that's also part of, truly I've never once for one second thought about his accent in these movies because i'm just like yeah he's being edward i don't know like i just like i just like don't it doesn't i i don't it's its own thing i don't know i don't think about it i do think about um jackson's accent constantly which one is jackson you mean um um no what's his fucking name jackson rathbone the actor yes yes

what's his what's his jasper jasper thank you i was like that's not right but it is right that's what it is this is named on his yeah yep yep all constantly jasper man wow i'm so ready amped for joel to know about movie. Let's freaking get into it. Mm hmm. In the past few years, I have hit a point where I only want to be wearing clothes that are comfortable. It happened. It happened to me. But you know what? I still also want to look cute. And these are two desires that are often extremely opposing. And I don't want to have to sacrifice. I want both. I want comfort and I want to feel cute and confident. And guess what? Skims has freaking done it again with their soft lounge collection. I am currently very, very obsessed with, I have the soft lounge tank and boxer set. Okay. This

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Yeah, again, I didn't really write very detailed notes but the the basic setup is that kristen stewart bell swan moves from arizona to yeah to uh to washington forks washington which is where her dad lives her mom and dad are divorced her mom is in arizona but is dating a baseball player that has to move around a lot for work. And so she's like, I'm just going to live with my dad for a bit. She's super angsty. We get a lot of use of voiceover. And her dad is named Charlie, played by Billy Burke. I'd say hot dad. Correct. definitely um she goes to the new school and anna kendrick is one of the like her classmates which is funny i remember anna kendrick saying that she forgot she was in twilight do you guys remember that yeah that's because everyone else forgot she

was in twilight too she was like it is weird yeah Yeah. A pre Anna Kendrick. One thing to note about her. Yeah. She's super angsty. She doesn't like to be, you know, a center of attention. She's really clumsy. That's brought up all the time. So clumsy. She's just so awkward, but everyone in the school is like, oh my God, new girl. Oh my God. She's so beautiful. Everyone's in love with her. Immediately all the boys are like into her. So small towns is big news story that she moved there. Her dad, by the way, Charlie's the chief of police of works there. She's kind of finding her little group of friends because everyone's flocking to her.

So Anna Kendrick's one of them. And there's like a couple other friends that she like joins this friend group and they're kind of giving her the lay of the lay of the land. Here's how everything is in school politics. And then pointing out like who's who, and then we get like a slow-mo shot of a group of five adult people in their twenties. Yeah. Or thirties. It looks so old. It's so crazy how much they don't look like high schoolers at all. And they're so pale. And it's just this like boom shot of them, like strolling into school. And Bella it's like, who are those people? And they're like, those are the Cullens. Like, don't bother. They're gonna talk to you they stick together and

their dad basically adopted them but they're foster children they're the Cullen Dr. Cullen's foster kids yeah and they're like dating each other so they're all together five of them and Edward Robert Pattinson is the odd one out so So he's single. But the other two are dating each other. Is the understanding that they're not like biologically related? That's correct. But they're they're all still explicitly stated that because someone's like, they're not actually siblings. I'm like, yeah, it's still weird. OK.

All right. I'll allow it. Mm hmm. Um, and as Edward's walking in, it's kind of clear that he, even though he's far away from them, he can overhear what they're saying. He kind of is listening in and smiling as they're like, as Anna Kendrick's like, that's Edward. Like he's too cool for school. He won't even talk to, won't even talk to me. See if I care. I don't care if he talks to me or not and you see edward kind of like smiling at it and bella being like oh i don't care like i wasn't going to talk to him but then like can't stop staring at him looking over her shoulder at him he looks they make eye contact he looks back at her this is notice each other this is a huge part

of the movie that will happen multiple times where they just intensely stare at each other from across the room and the music is swelling and it's like a solid 10 seconds of just them really thirstily staring at each other from across the room oh my god so much staring and one thing i will say is i actually really love the music in all of these movies the soundtrack and the score composers carter burwell who composed the score for carol which is a really really great score um so i think the music in this is genuinely pretty good i mean even the song choices i think are perfect uh then they go to class after lunch and Bella walks into biology class and she steps in front of a fan that blows her scent towards Edward, who has an open seat next to him. Excuse me. I have a visual aid.

Oh, thank God. And he, he, I mean, this isn't the best part of it but he literally presses his hand over his mouth as if he's about to as if he's about to vomit and she just reactions because she's think well we'll find out why but that's what she's being huge and very obvious that's what she thinks she like sniffs her armpit. She's like, what the fuck? Like, why does he hate me? She like goes to sit down next to him because he's the only it's the only seat available. Like they're supposed to be lab partners.

And he, I think pretty quickly just like gets up and excuse himself. Well, the bell rings, I think two minutes later, like she was incredibly late to class. It's the shortest. She sits down and he the bell rings and he gets up and she follows him to the um like whatever office the school office where he's asking to switch classes he's like can i get into chemistry or physics and she smells so bad he tries to drop out of high school. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. And they tell him, you know, all the other classes are full. Sorry, you'll have to stay in biology.

And as he's turning, he sees her and like looks at her and he's like, I guess I'll just have to endure it. And it's like really rude and like very much in her face. She feels very insecure. She's just like, oh, my God, what the fuck's going on? feels very insecure but she's just like oh my god what the fuck's going on um also bella just bites her lip constantly i feel like her acting choices are really interesting just like she does a lot of much like a lot of like pushing her hair back what she has a lot of bad breathing a lot of bad breathing

i remember seeing people making fun of her performance specifically the lip bite and the yeah pushing the hair back that was like an iconic yes let's make fun of this performance thing. Yes. And I guess the next day or whenever they have class again, he's back and seems like he's being nicer to her and kind of pushes a little microscope over to her. And he's like acting like everything's fine and asking her about herself saying, why'd you move here? She says, it's complicated. And I'm like, I don't think it's complicated. I was like, I had to write that down. I was like, it's not complicated at all. She's like, it's complicated. No, it's not. You're staying with your dad for a bit. And she, so they're like, have like a normal conversation and after class does anything i

don't know if anything important happens in the conversation um they're just like you know finally connecting and the sort of flirting yeah and then he sort of he walks her he had been he had missed a few days of school but in the day between but time between being rude to her and then this day and she like comments on that he like walks through a locker they're still talking and then she's like looking at him she goes were you wearing contacts before he's like no why and she's like oh your eyes are really like your eyes were black the day that i met you and now they're like like a golden like a light golden brown and he's like and he and he goes yeah it's the fluorescence and then just like turns away and like he storms he's like

hey so he's real real hot and cold with her real hot and cold yeah it only makes her want him more i know it's it's like the perfect like when i the guy's an asshole to her and it makes her like really like him she's like yes that guy that guy who's so mean to me is this movie big in like um what's that like the the what is it when um guys nag women what's that called like mystery or whatever that dude's name was oh the like pickup culture thing yeah yeah like pickup is because edward seems to nag her pretty hard yeah yeah yeah yeah icon in yeah pickup culture yeah because also he like can kill women by having sex with them which seems like the pinnacle of that kind of dudes. Like men's rights dudes, kind of? Yeah.

Yeah, I don't know. I'm so powerful. I'm such a powerful man. I could break a woman in half in bed. I'm sure there's a subreddit about this, Sammy. You got to look into it. I'll check it out. Add it to the list.

And so then she's outside in the parking lot and some van is speeding into the parking lot too fast it's an icy day icy day and it's it starts like gliding slips and he loses control of the car it starts twisting towards where she is she doesn't have time to react all of a sudden edward is there puts his hand out to block the van and is able to basically stop the van from hitting her while like putting a huge dent in the van very much like a superhero and nobody sees except for them because they're kind of huddled between the cars um and he they'd like again stare at each other and then he hops over the car runs away i should we i think i don't know if we've really highlighted this but like every time she's around him she acts so horny yeah she's just like she's just like oh like so so horny around him yep all the time that's right um then we see her at the hospital and tending to her is dr cullen edwards foster

father carlisle this is peter fashionelli uh our second hot dad of the movie absolutely and um yeah just kind of i i don't know nothing really important happens other than we meet carlisle in that scene yeah well he he she bella tries to get information out of him she's like it's really lucky that edward was there he got there so fast it was like he was nowhere near me. And Carla just goes like, sounds like you were very lucky and you're all good. And OK, Bella, bye. Yeah. And she confronts Edward about it the next day at school. And he's like, basically, like, that's I was right next to you because she says you were really far. How'd you get there? All of a sudden he's like, no, I was right next to you. Just gaslighting no you're being pretty crazy this is i was right there it's not weird at all and then he says a fun thing that goes well no one will believe you yeah yeah i actually wrote down this exchange because it's such a horrible gaslighting it's so bad she's like how did you get over to me so fast and he goes i was standing right next to you bella and she was like like, no, you weren't. And he goes, yes, I was. And then,

and he goes, Bella, you hit your head. You're confused. And she's like, what? And he goes, well, no one's going to believe you anyway. She goes, and she immediately goes, I wasn't going to tell anyone. And he goes, can't you just say thank you and get over it? And she goes, thank you. It's so bad. It's so bad. It's a really bad. It's really bad. But see, I can understand why he would do the initial lying because this is a serious deal. He cannot be found out. Right. It's true. It's life or death. The stakes are higher than a normal situation. So I get that first one. But then being like mean to her at the tail end of it, because he could be like, no, no, no, no. Maybe it seemed like that. But I was like pretty close.

The other thing is, does she interrogate him about how the fact that he like nearly punched through a car? I think she does say something like you stopped the van. Like she's like, that's crazy. She says something to that effect yeah that is definitely the craziest part in my opinion who is driving the van and why didn't they get out of it and go dude you punched my car

I don't know he hit his head too that guy seems out of it I don't know irresponsible van driver that's right then I think he's just like mean to her for the next few days.

We're in like a section of him just being a dick. Well, they go on like a field trip the next day, I think. And he's he's doing his hot and cold thing because that then he like starts flirting with her and talking to her on the field trip. And she even says like she asked him again, what he's like you're never gonna stop asking are you she's like no and he's like so they just like are being really friendly and having a nice time

and then he the switch flips and he goes like we just like you shouldn't want to be my friend like we shouldn't be friends and she's like then what like there's a part where she says well then why didn't you just let me die oh that's right oh yeah she's like if you clearly regret saving me why don't you just let me die and he's like you don't get it like he's like really mad and angry and so then they're like being friends then they go to they leave they're going to leave the field trip and to like get back on the buses and alice cullen one of the one of the other cullen's siblings asked bella they're like her and rob or her and uh what's his fucking name edward are waiting to get outside the bus and alice goes hi bella are you gonna ride the bus with us and he goes no this bus is full like gets on the bus with that are you so mean to her

he's really mean to her but it's worse because he's like really really friendly and then he's really mean like if he were just always mean it would be less confusing but no it's confusing it doesn't make any sense why he's me because also he's mean to her about petty stuff like she trips at one point and he goes can you at least watch where you're walking he's so mean isn't isn't this part of what makes women horny about this dude or am i wrong here because this like hot cold shit i feel like i hear i guess maybe this is in movies but like he's hot and he's cold and it's confusing and i couldn't want him more yeah Isn't that the thing? And it's deeply problematic. Yes.

Yeah, I think there is truth to it and it is a problematic thing that is real that because of standards that exist that are bad. He loves you. Right. Also, I mean, Fifty Shades of Grey is a fan

fiction of Twilight. So it is that idea of like him punishing her or like, you know, being mean to her. But it's her passion, you know. Right. And so. Oh, and I didn't mention, but earlier back at her house, her dad gave her a car that was like fixed up by Jacob. So we met Jacob a little earlier in his in his wig. And we were in his wig. And Jacob, Jacob and Jacob's dad.

Jacob's dad is friends with Charlie Bella's dad. They've been friends a long time. She knew Jacob when she was like a little kid. Jacob and his dad live on the reservation um so he doesn't go to the same school he goes to school on the reservation but they like know each other and yeah that's how we met we met Jacob and saw his bad hair and why does he have a wig so that he can not have a wig and new moon and look hotter yeah his hair becomes a important part of his story he has to not have long hair later therefore he must have long hair now oh i didn't know that the hair exists to be cut that's right um so after school one day jacob i think invites her to la push or someone invites her to La Push is the is the is a beach in Washington.

And she invites Edward and he says, no, like I or he says, like, what beach? She says La Push. And he's like, oh, no, like, I can't. Sorry. And so she goes to La Push, which is a very beautiful beach that I've been to because of Twilight. And like mentions Edward's name that he did that. He's not that he turned down her invitation or maybe her friends say that or something. And, um, two of the other two of Jacob's friends are like Edward. Yeah. No. Or they like have a reaction. Can't come. Collins can't come here. And then she's like walking on the beach with Jacob and was like, so when they said the Collins can't come here and he goes, Oh, you caught that. That's my favorite line of the whole movie. You caught that. Did you? It's like the thing you said out loud in front of all of us yeah i caught it i caught that it's so funny um but then jacob tells uh is gives her a little background

she's like uh tell him like what's going on and he is of the quillette tribe and which is a real tribe who was given no um money from the twilight franchise by shocker they made a ton of money off of a real tribe and gave them nothing nothing i didn't i didn't know that it was a real tribe i didn't either but yeah it's there and they i mean less so in this movie but they become a massive part of the story right massive right yeah so add that to the list of problematic things in this movie um and he says basically uh it's told that the quilliette descended from wolves and the cullens descended from something else. Do you remember what they say? He says a rival.

A rival. Yeah, a rival tribe. And we're getting in this, as he's telling us, this like sepia toned flashback footage. I love the flashback footage. Like whenever they do it, it's like. People who like we see Carlisle and like a few of the Cullens dressed in like old timey period clothes.

So a couple of questions here. My first question is, is the implication that the Cullens are a native tribe? I think it's just that they've been around for a very long time. So they are written into the natives, the native tribe, like the lore of whatever they've passed down. Jacob doesn't necessarily believe he's like, this is a legend that's told is like the Collins, whatever tribe they're from, or like the Collins were like our rival tribe. And that steel was struck that they can't hunt or they can't be in our land.

So we're like live and let live. And Jacob's like, I know this is like, And that Steele was struck that they can't hunt or they can't be in our land. So we're like, live and let live. And Jacob's like, I know this is like, it's silly. It's stupid. But we're seeing in a flashback that like, at least what we're seeing is Carlisle and these exact same Cullens. But Jacob doesn't necessarily know that. Yeah. She says, she says, wait, didn't the Cullens just move here from Canada

and he goes move back from Canada and she's like it's Alaska and it's Alaska oh Alaska I always get those two places confused Canada Alaska it's all north you know um but I didn't know that Jake I thought Jacob was just kind of like smoothing things over for her I didn't know that Jake, I thought Jacob was just kind of like smoothing things over for her. I didn't know that he also doesn't know. And this, at this point he does not know. I didn't know that. I will say it does not make sense, but that's okay. That's fine.

They have a treaty. They have a treaty. Okay. I get it. Yeah. And like, also like, you know, the implication is like they're werewolves and vampires and like that. Obviously, those don't mix. And there are treaties in in history between these things.

That's like the underworld movies. That's the whole thing. Yeah. So, yeah. Yeah. So I can get that. these incredibly white uh famously pale family would have been considered like a rival tribe or something maybe that's like just a the the word that is used but i guess like whatever my second question is so they go to this flashback but there's been no other real setup for who these

people so like if you went in blind you'd be like what the fuck am i watching yeah i'm gonna go out on a limb and say maybe one person the whole world went into seeing twilight completely blind yeah i feel like the audience here was people nobody read the books or like at least like no or at this yeah i just don't know that they had to worry about that should they have yes i don't think they cared yeah i'm getting that since most of the holes or i don't even even come holes these like weird little things that don't quite make sense it's like the point is to be like yeah fuck it whatever yeah yeah yeah yeah definitely yeah you're not smart to notice that this is stupid i guess is the point the point. Yeah. Got that. Did you? You got that. Did you? Got that. Did you?

Then after he mentioned something about them being called the cold ones, does he say that? Yeah, she's like, what do you mean? Right. I think she even is like, what do you mean? Are you sure he's not just asking for a beer? Oh, he might have been asking for a beer. He might have been asking for a beer. Then they pop open some beers, crack open a couple of cold ones. Some cold.

After La Push, we see that there are three other vampires that we haven't seen yet. I think we just get like a glimpse of them. We got the like the cold open of the movie is like a hunting chase scene of like these three people like chasing down a guy we don't know and we learned from Charlie at some point that like some guy was killed by an animal in nearby so we've we've seen the we don't get any context for them but we have seen flashes of yeah these

three people who we now know are again i don't think anybody's going in blind to these movies so we're just like yeah those are vampires and the music in the slow-mo alerts us to the fact that they're vampires i feel like yeah and that they're bad men like wearing their fur coats and yeah they're they're bad but we't, we don't get to know them yet. And then we see, uh, Bella, um, uh, I guess prom is coming up. One of the guys at school asks her to prom. She turns him down, says you should ask Anna, Anna Kendrick. Uh, Anna Kendrick is thrilled that he's asked her and the girls of their friend group go to um go to prom dress shopping together so we missed we did get a research montage a little bit

of um bella looking up after she gets back she looks up um quillet legends when she gets home and it's like the cold ones was like looking it up finds that there is a bookstore in another part of town that has a book of these legends that she can look up and so yeah then these other girls like want to go prom to shopping it's in the same area she wants to go get her book one thing I'm definitely

think is worth remarking on too is she has done such a good job of making friends she's a new girl shocking i mean it's her first day yeah it's nothing like any real high school is like people literally flock to her and are like be my friend everyone wants to be her friend she doesn't put any bad job they all want to be her friend and she yes goes like okay yes it's like not what you it's not what i was expecting going in like usually the trope is you know she goes and she can't she's not making friends people are mean to her uh and then you know she means edward or whatever but it's quite the opposite literally every male

that she encounters in this movie wants her every single one even like the adult ones even the adult ones okay yeah like the guy who was killed i feel like we should note um was her dad's friend and when he met her at the cafe earlier he was like very pervy to her i thought he's like hey bella remember me like i knew you when you were little that's an insane hit pick up line hey do you remember me i know you when you were a baby yeah it's very gross i'm horny um yeah no it's and she's i actually made a note that's like bella sucks in this scene because she's like such an asshole to everyone oh she's a bad friend for sure she's such a bad friend yeah so these girls are like we're gonna go prom to shopping and and she's like oh can i come with you just because she wants

a ride to go get her book from the bookstore but is like so disinterested in their prom dress shopping and is like, I don't know. I'm not a girl. I don't care about dresses, whatever. Give her some credit. She hooked up Anna Kendrick with a hot date. That's true. That's true. Let's not let that one go unnoticed. That's true. Thank you for that. Thank you for that.

And as she like leaves them to go to the bookstore, gets the book, and as she is walking back to go to the bookstore, gets the book. And as she is walking back towards, I think what the dress store. No, she's supposed to meet them at a diner. Yeah. And it's after dark now. It's after dark.

And these five like drunk men just surround her and corner her. Start her in an alley. She tells him to get away from her they're not and a car zooms in and it's edward and he's like get in the car she gets in the car he gets out of the car and he like looks at the guys and just kind of gives them a mean stare but we think maybe something else is going on i don't know if he's got some sort of vampire power. That's like, he's like basically like, leave her the fuck alone. And they all are kind of like, okay.

And they leave. And he gets in the car with Bella and she's basically like, so are you following me? And he says, he's like, yeah, basically doesn't hide it. And he's like, yeah, I was following you. I feel really protective of you uh like i i was just gonna i was gonna keep a distance and just make sure you're okay but when i heard what those guys were thinking yeah he says if you could hear what they were thinking and she's like can you hear what they were thinking and And he's like, it's not hard to imagine.

And so they go to the diner. Also, he drives like so fast and crazy. Yeah. He does his concerts like and it's very insane. Yeah. They all have Volvos in the movie, all the Cullens. I feel like I remember that they're all in their silver

Volvos like, oh. They in the movie all the cullens i feel like i remember that they're all in their silver volvos like oh um they um i think go back or go to the diner but anna kendrick and the other girl have already eaten and they're like i'm sorry we didn't know when you were coming and edward says i think i'll make sure that bella gets something to eat i can give her a ride home. You guys can go. And they're like, okay, like have fun. So Bella and Edward get to have dinner together, but Edward does not eat. So Bella orders food. And I guess just kind of says, you know, tell me what's up, what's going on. And he reveals that he can read people's minds. He slips up again, thinking about the guys from earlier and basically reveals that he can read people's minds. And he says, I can read everybody's mind in here except for yours. And she says, is something wrong with me? And he laughs and is like, I just told you I can read minds and you think something's wrong with you.

Again, she's like, she's so in love with Edward. Like, he's perfect. She must be the problem. And, yeah, they have like a flirty dinner. like a flirty dinner. And, um, at some point he says he doesn't have the strength to stay away from her anymore that he's been trying to stay away, but he can't anymore. And she's all very horny. Don't ever stay away from me. I don't want you to stay away from me. It's all, all very horny and very horny. and then he's giving her a ride home and they see at the police station all the lights are on uh her dad is still there his dad is there

carlisle is also at the police station clearly something's going on we have seen a scene of the bad vampires killing a man that's the thing that they're investigating right now creepy diner man and uh basically uh charlie and carlisle come out to talk to edward and bella they're saying what's going on and carlisle kind of gives edward a like, yeah, they were killed by some sort of animal. And we see like Edward kind of register what that means. Bella, not so much. And someone says, Bella, go inside like, or no, Charlie's not out there yet. Charlie's still inside. And he sat because this is his friend that died. So she goes, she says bye to Edward, goes in to comfort her dad. edward goes in to comfort her dad and yeah i guess we just know that now there's something to be afraid of something hunting people and we get another little research montage bella trying

to find out more um about the cold ones or she's got her book now and she's and she's googling stuff um and yeah basically just comes across a lot of vampire mythology and is piecing things together oh because when when edward also when edward drove her home from dinner at one point um she goes to like touch the thermostat or whatever like the thing and he goes to do it at the same time and she touches his hands the first time they've ever touched skin she touches and is like you're so cold so she's got some clues here to work with she's got some clues next morning at school she just sees him across the parking lot makes eye contact with him and then like walks into the woods and he follows her and she confronts him and she says you know your skin is ice cold you don't go in the sunlight you don't eat you're impossibly fast and strong and he's like what like what are you saying say it say it out loud it's a very dramatic scene this

is when the camera is like really circling around and he's like standing behind her and she's steering forward. And so he's just like, say what, what am I saying out loud? I think I just did that. Such a good job of that. That was really good. I mean, I'm so horny right now. I'm so horny right now and she says how old are you and he says 17 she says how long have you been 17 he says

a while and by the way she does say vampire vampire and then he kind of starts having a little he puts on a little, he puts on a little bit of a show. We have to at least find this clip, Joel.

You must see just this clip. It's very funny. Oh, because she says, she's like, I'm not scared of you. Oh yeah, he's trying to show her why she should be scared of him. Yeah, and he's like you should be and then he yeah he puts on a little show he's he's pulling tree trunks out of the ground showing how strong he is he okay this speech is like okay sorry i just love this i love the speech he goes like everything about me is meant to draw you in the way i look my voice the way i smell and then he goes as if any of that matters this is

when he's like really upset as if any of that matters as if you could outrun me and he like zooms across the room um or like as if i would need that and he like grabs the tree like throws it across if you could fight me off and jumps up into a As if you could fight me off. How did you come up and jumps up into a tree? Unless you could fight me off. What's he so mad about? He doesn't want to be a vampire, Joel. He doesn't like to be the monster. And he doesn't like being as tempted. He's so tempted by her.

It's her fucking fault, that bitch, for making him want her. The best is when he spider monkeys her like across the forest. Well, that's not that's not yet. That's not yet, Henley. Oh, no. Well, that does happen. They do. They do it a few times, I guess. You're right. He does put her on

his back and then he runs. That's the best part. There's a line in this movie that uses the word spider monkey. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. um he says you need to see me in the sunlight right he also tells her he's like i've wanted to drink your blood since the day i'm like he's like he was he explains that that's why he like was that way in biology because he was like i caught your scent was overwhelming over i've never wanted to drink

somebody's blood as badly as i want to drink your blood it's like he calls her you're my own personal brand of heroin oh yeah oh yeah it feels good to be it feels good to be wanted so bad all i want is for a man to tell me i'm his own personal brand of heroin what's wrong with that why doesn't he get that hungry for all the other people around him that's a good christendale she's special she's really he needs her because he's just so in love with her just her just but he's got to eat he explains he said they're my vegetarian my family are different from others of our kind. We call ourselves, but this he likes, this he thinks is funny. We call ourselves vegetarian because we only eat, we only drink the blood of animals.

But it's like a human, oh, he's like, it's like a human living only on tofu. It would keep you strong, but you'd never be satisfied. And then he goes, wouldn't be like drinking your blood um yeah then he says you need to see me you you need to see me in the sunlight throws her on his back zooms up the hill to like one little beam of sunlight it's like it's like it's so funny it's so funny there's one little beam of sunlight and he opens his jacket and lets the sunlight hit his face and chest. And you better believe he's sparkling and glowing. And he like turns to her with this face. Like he's so disgusted with himself. Like

I'm a monster while he's just sparkling in the sunlight. She's like, you're beautiful. And he's like, this is the skin of a killer. And he's like having a little tantrum now. Greatest star of our time. Greatest fucking star of our time. He throws a little tantrum and he says, I'm designed to kill. And she says, I don't care. He says, I've killed people.. And she says, I don't care. He says, I've killed people.

And she's like, I trust you. And he's like, I've never wanted to kill anybody more than you. And she's like, I don't care. I trust you. I trust you. It's like so crazy. But after he throws his tantrum there, they settle down a bit. And he's like, so the lion fell in love with the lamb.

And she says, what a stupid lamb. And he says, what a masochistic lion. Just some really great dialogue there for you. And then they just lay down in a field and stare at each other. Stare, stare, stare. There's nothing more than staring. That's the other thing about this movie

is I feel like it really promotes edging. The whole thing is just like so close. But that's it. It really does. I do think another thing that's probably quite problematic with this, right, is that it equates a desire with consumption. Yeah. And like that it would be one thing for him to be attracted to her it would be one thing for him to want to eat her but the fact that those things are

combined and that's what the crux of everything is about why that's such a problem is that because he desires her so much he therefore must want to consume her and destroy her, which is also kind of like Victorian in like sex and death and shit. Yeah. It is also, it is also why he keeps being like, you have, I want you so badly that you have to stay away from me because like, because it is all consuming and I will hurt you because it is one in the

same. Well, it's very vampire in general. Vampires are in general, just like sex and violence together. Yeah. But the new thing is the tension here. Most vampires are in general just like sex and violence together. Yeah. But the new thing is the tension here. Most vampires are like it's like quite in harmony, which is probably the genius of this movie.

Because it's also he it's also he is in love with her. We get the sense. We get the sense. We get it in fucking bold headlined font that there is that he's never felt this pull to any living human in his many, many, many years. The rest of his family seemed to be aware of it too. They're sort of like, oh, like Edward is like connected to Bella in a way that is not normal. Um, and I think if the tension comes from too, that like Edward doesn't want to be a vampire, like they don't, he doesn't want to want to kill people. He's very in general, not even just Bella, likeward doesn't want to be a vampire like they he doesn't want to want to kill people he's very in general not even just bella like he doesn't want to do it but he also is a

vampire and that's what he wants you know and in his core the other problematic part of this being that he is presumably almost a hundred year old man who is in love with a 17 year old girl right yeah well what's he gonna do be in love with a hundred year old lady no but i feel like get real find a 25 year old someone late 20s that's fair but he's just someone at least over 18 someone i don't know around 30 who maybe lives in los angeles would that be so hard they're out there but okay so after they've had this this moment then they're they decide to go all in and they show up at school together the next day he's giving her a ride to school he's wearing sunglasses

he's got his arm around her the whole school is turning and looking at them like holy shit edward and bella wow wow wow and um at some point he uh well because he's saying that he can like read everyone's minds as they're walking up and i think at some point bella asks can your can all of the cullens read minds? Like, is that something that everyone can do? And he says, no, like some of us had different gifts. Like Alice can see the future. Um, and at this point he decides he wants to introduce her to his, to his family, to the Cullens going home to meet the Cullens. And, um, so that night or whatever night it is, we see the Cullens prepping a big Italian dinner for just for her because they don't eat food. And, uh, one of the, um, foster kids, Rosalie, is that her name? Rosalyn or Rosalie? Rosalie is like not thrilled about this. She thinks this is really dangerous and she's right. I feel like she has every right to be stressed about this situation that this girl is now knows all of their secrets.

And she's like, is she of an Italian? She made me laugh. Carlisle says her name is Isabella. They're making this big meal. And Bella arrives with Edward and Edward says, oh, she already ate. And Rosalie like was holding a glass bowl and like shatters it and storms out. And she's so pissed. And Bella's like, it's because I knew you guys didn't eat like i'm sorry i thought it would be smarter to eat before and they're like that's really nice of you bella that's really nice um then alice and jasper show up jasper for what it's worth he's not in this movie that much but

is probably my second favorite character in the movie after jacob i love jasper what's his deal um well you don't really learn in this movie he's one of the other cullens he's the most recent he's the the newest um member of the cullen family which means that not having human blood is the hardest for him so we do learn that here that it's the hardest for him to be around bella even though he's he's lovely and he wants to he just like it's you know it's hard to resist that it's a real practice yes but we learn in in later movies that Jasper was a civil war soldier general I think that's right from the south uh wait but Edward was turned in 1918 so Spanish flu Spanish flu. Yeah. Timely.

Yeah, they're from different times. They're all from different times. They're all from different times. All of them got turned into vampires by Carlisle. At different points throughout history. Carlisle. And Carlisle is their father. And he's the one. He's also a doctor.

And he's the one who. He basically only turns. Because he's been a doctor throughout all of time he turns people who he can't save um so uh edward was his first then his wife esme uh then i don't know then the rest of them i think rosalie must have been earlier right i feel like she's like 1800s or is she no because didn't edward say that that he was the first one in this yeah maybe maybe that's right she must have been right after though because she's from anyway whatever but um jasper was the civil war that wouldn't make any sense

i'm just confused about the timeline you're right so oh so maybe he didn't turn Jasper. He didn't turn Jasper. Somebody else did because we learned Jasper's story. Somebody else turned Jasper, but Jasper joins the Cullen family. That's because because Alice can see the future. And Alice knew that she was meant to be in love with Jasper. And that's how they they went out and sought out. It's airtight is what we're saying. It's airtight.

I can tell. It's so crazy but jasper's thing is that he can control people's moods which is kind of fun he can just like make you in a good mood or a bad mood oh wouldn't he make rosalie be in a good mood i think he can do maybe they have a boundary there yeah okay it's smart to have boundaries when you're a vampire yeah it's really smart to have a little coven yeah um and jasper also like always looks like this i know that's what well when anna kendrick introduces him she goes and that guy the one who looks like he's in pain that's jasper he's always like this is like because he is in pain because he wants to drink everybody's blood uh it's really hard for him

but he's been a vampire for longer than edward right but he's only been a vegetarian vegetarian yeah they make the content their most vampires aren't like air tight air tight air tight edward takes bella to his room they pass by this like thing on the wall of all of their graduation caps over the years they have like hundreds of graduation caps because they just have to keep going through high school over and over and because the younger they start in a place along i don't know why they don't just start like as just having graduated yeah it's well no airtight

why do they have to participate in regular world shit I don't know they probably get bored and just want to have I don't know because you might find the love of your life you know yeah I guess yeah i

asked the same question it's hard to live off the grid that's what it is it's hard to live off the grid um but edward takes bella to his room he doesn't have a bed tells her he doesn't sleep um and she like is looking around his room and his music collection puts on the record and he's listening to Debussy. Debussy. Debussy. How do you say it? I always thought it was Debussy, but he does say like Debussy. He does say it like fancy.

And she's like, oh, I love Claire de Lune. And he looks like so turned on by it. Like, oh, my God, she knows Claire de Lune. It just really makes me laugh. Oh, she also knew the square root of pie earlier and yeah he's like holy shit smart she's so smart um oh also he does admit that he doesn't sleep but he uh watches her sleep yes there's a scene very early on where she's in her bedroom alone and kind of turns as if someone she thinks someone's there and then nobody is there so no then Edward

is there well that's later she goes to oh I think So no, then Edward is there. Well, that's later. She goes to. Oh, I think there's a scene. There's a scene early where he's not there, but it's just implying that he's been watching her sleep in her bedroom the whole time. Yes, that's that's just this is Jasper. And he looks like that the whole movie. You see Jasper for Halloween. Oh, man. And you can be Alice. Well, just paint your face white.

Yeah, you just need tons of white powder makeup. This is, and I can't remember what kicks it off, but something in the room he says, like he's going to show her his world and he says hold tight spider monkey and jumps out the window with her on his back and starts climbing up a tree a really tall

pine tree yeah let me go back to my tree this is this scene and they're jumping tree to tree and the cgi looks really bad their faces are like on, I feel like stunt double faces, like, like put on top. And so the faces are kind of not matched up every few frames. It's very funny. Yeah. They're just, they're, they're in love. They're dating now. They're out, they're out in the open.

Everything's great. Um, they later, he invites her to play baseball with his family because there's a thunderstorm and she says why does there need to be a thunderstorm for you guys to play baseball and he's like you'll see this is one of my favorite scenes probably in any movie of all time so good also i feel like we've missed a few mentions where he's told her things like you're my life now i have to make i have to protect you always like just some really intense crazy shit that she fucking loves yeah yeah yeah we're getting a lot of that of like well you're my life now you're my whole world and i'm in like we'll never leave each other and one thing that they talked about in the vampires

episode that we did is like how young love does kind of feel like that sometimes where it's just like so all-encompassing when you're like a teenager and you're certain you'll never feel this way again doesn't know that yeah and you're just like i'm fucking all in nothing else matters very romeo and juliet of just like the drama is very very high in these relationships yeah and and you want it it feels so absolute that i get why like uh the idea of edward being like i will protect you i will provide for you i will like it becomes everything and i I get that. I get that feeling. I feel like that's in like, in a, like a, like metaphorical way, like a pretty decent representation of what it feels like to be in love with somebody when you're like 16.

Yeah. And he like tells her so much, like, I've been waiting my whole life for you because he's, you know, because he's a hundred years old, he's, there's also this feeling of like, it is meant to be because it is it is me somehow like it is we are meant destined to be together alice has like seen visions of of bella already because alice can see the future and it's like i think she says at one point like

she's gonna be one of us um at some point i don't know if i've spoiled that but she's like so anyway no whatever okay baseball baseball we get they're in like fun outfits baseball outfits and um it starts playing muse and it's like it's super massive black hole yeah yeah and um uh bella is gonna be the ref basically just like call the shots uh she obviously cannot play alongside of them because they're very very strong and fast and um it's just like such a crazy scene and there's like thunder rolls in and there's a loud crack and they're like okay we can do it alice throws the ball and uh rosalie rosalie yeah like they wear the craziest outfits they're really funny and it looks like a my chemical romance music video yes that's exactly right and they hit the ball so hard that it's like a, my chemical romance music video. Yes, that's exactly right. And they hit the

ball so hard that it sounds like thunder or like a yeah. Thunderclap. So that's why it has to be in a thunderstorm and, and so she hits the ball. It's going so far Edwards chasing after it. And, uh, but Rosalie's trying to run around the bases and Bella like turns to the mom as, as me. And it was like, that's gotta be a, it's gotta be a home run. Right. And as me goes, Edward's very fast. I wouldn't be so sure. And sure enough, Edward gets to that ball and throws it back and they get rosalie out who is again very mad she's just angry the whole time for the whole movie and they're they're playing the base playing their baseball and then we see those three bad vampires strutting up in slow motion and and immediately Alice has a vision of it a little bit before yeah and

Edward says to Bella put your hair down and I guess it's in an attempt to cover her scent but just makes absolutely no sense and to be fair Rosalie says that she's like like that's gonna fucking do anything like i'd smell her from a mile away um and so they the three vampires show up and um at first they're not they're like nice to each other they're kind of very intense energy and the very intense because they're like we have a human here with us but they're being friendly with each other they're like oh baseball let's play we'll play baseball with you and then uh they're about to play baseball together when a wind blows in and blows bell is sent towards one of the vampires who they all vomit stinky stinky lady stinky stinky he like turns and says you brought a snack and then all of them jump back and like along battle lines go like i'll start hissing at each other they like get like in like little crowd cheek

positions like it's so funny and they're like we she's with us we brought her you can't eat her and um that carla says i think it's best if you guys leave and so they leave they agree to leave but as

three vampires it's james who is the main the you brought a snack guy laurent who's like maybe the leader of the three of them yeah he seems like and then what's oh fuck what is her name i can't remember but a girl one victoria victoria so they they do leave but as soon as they're gone the cullens like jump into panic mode and they're like, OK, like now that they know that you're here, like you're the hunt will be what excites them. And we need to get you out of here, basically. And Edward is trying to just immediately take Bella to Canada, I think. take Bella to Canada I think and she's like well I can't leave Charlie my dad and so he's like okay they construct this plan to basically Edward read James's mind uh also by the way because Edward can

read minds and he's like I read James's mind he he's he thinks it's really fun that like you're with me he's gonna hunt you down. Nothing's going to stop it. Because James is like special trait is that he can track people. Right. I guess my question is, is she like the most delicious human that ever lived? Is that the expectation? She smells so good. No, she does that.

She does to Edward. But but this is that um james is just an asshole and he knows that bella is important to edward so he's like oh i'm gonna kill that human that's so it makes it more exciting for him but he realizes that that would create a huge problem right i feel like most most of the vampires don't care about that stuff. They don't care about coexisting with humans. These are the guys that have already killed two people in the town.

So I guess it's basically like, if you're one of these vampires, you're like, oh, dude, in a hundred years, Edward will get over it. And we have all the time in the world. He'll be fucking fine. Like, this will be funny. Also, he's like a cocky little bitch and he doesn't

care and he's like i don't care if i make it he thinks he's like the strongest hottest shit in the world and he's like i want to kill that human that would be fun i mean also he's probably been alive for a long time he's bored as hell and it's like i just imagine if you've been alive forever you're constantly bored because i would be especially if you can't sleep or eat oh my god nightmare um so yeah that's he's just like oh this is my new game i'm gonna kill bella i will say as a viewer um i at this part of the story this part of the narrative i kind of clock out at i was gonna say this is around the time that i was like holy shit this movie's long i can't believe emily watched an even longer version of this movie it's really dragging at this point but

it's just kind of a week it's like a week plot point like everything is weak but at least it's kind of like i'm entertained this is just like we need conflict yeah exactly there needs to be like a major a climactic fight scene that we're working towards she needs to be threatened somehow so we'll just make an evil vampire threaten her it's yeah it seems like if this is this james's name if this is james's deal it seems like he would have been killed long ago because right even like even if it's just a fun game to him like he probably fucks with other vampires all the time somebody would have killed his fucking ass well i think too no almost no other vampires are look at me devil's advocating for fucking twilight as if it all makes sense um but most vampires don't hang out with he wouldn't be like offending any other vampires by wanting to kill a human i think in general right but that

but if but if that's his like personality is like fucking with people, if he's like a like I'm a troll. Yeah, I would have fucked with the wrong vampire at some point. And they'd be like, dude, I don't want to spend the rest of eternity getting trolled by you. I'm going to kill you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I agree with that. Believe it. That's what the villains decide. They got to do. They're like, we got to kill this guy. They say we got to rip his limbs off and set him on fire. They do say that. And I was was like i don't relish the

thought of taking another life even one like james anyway take off all his limbs and burn so it's unfortunately what we have to do yeah they also so quickly side with bella like i know edward is obviously in love with her but they've met her one time um they do say rosalie's like why what why are we doing this like what's she to me and carla goes rosalie bella edward's family now and so then we're so she's family we're all family yeah it's very like the fast nephew grace in that way it's yeah that's exactly right um so they basically go to charlie's's to Bella's house to stage this thing in front of Charlie to make it seem like she's storming out angry. She comes in and has like a fake fight with Edward and is like, get out of here. Like, I hate you. I never want to see you again. Storms up to her

bedroom, starts packing a bag and then yells at Charlie. like I'm getting out of here. I hate it here. And she like, has to be really mean to him to be able to sell it. And she, she could tell she doesn't want to do this, but she says like, I feel like the way mom must have felt when she was stuck here with you. So she says so much earlier than it has to be. It's really mean watching it this time. I was like, did she have to be this mean? Like, I don't think it's really mean watching it this time i was like did she have to be this mean like i don't think it's really shitty why does she have to do that is it so he won't look for her he's gonna look for her yeah the whole thing is crazy because she's also like i'm gonna go drive back to arizona right now and it's the like middle of the night and it's like if you're charlie

charlie's whole thing is he like doesn't know what he's doing and he's he's the like middle of the night and it's like if you're charlie charlie's whole thing is he like doesn't know what he's doing and he's he's not like um doesn't really know how to be a dad and he's kind of like bumbling around and like oh awkward um but you don't let a 17 year old girl drive like 500 miles in the middle of the night while she's upset like i feel like there's no chief of police right, I feel like there's no chief of police. Right. You're like, there's no parent that would be like, Oh, okay. Well, she said a mean thing to me, so I'll let her go. Yeah. Animal attacks. Like, right. She also says, he's like, you can't do that. And she goes, if I need to, I'll just stay in a motel for a night

or something. And it's like, what? Like 16 year old is just like, I'm just going to go stay in a motel for a night. Dad, just get over it. Yeah. No, this is not a real thing that high school students are able to do. No, she doesn't. But she does get a hotel room at like 16. Are you allowed to just like get your own hotel?

I don't think so. I don't know. I mean, you could try. Yeah. No, I think you need, I think you need like to be 18. I mean, I don't know. Maybe, maybe all you need is a credit card. Probably some places where that's all you need.

Anyway, what you need to know is that it just, it's from this point on, the movie is just so outrageous. It's like they, it's like they wrote the movie and then they had 15 minutes to write the last hour of the movie. Yeah. Let's, let let's let's blow through this pretty fast so they decide they gotta split up the cullens um some of them need to take bella somewhere safe the rest of them need to go look for james to try to kill him and they decide

that edward needs to go look for james to kill him uh because if james will assume that wherever edward is is where bella is because edward would never leave bella so in fact they do split up so alice and jasper take bella to arizona yeah they do go to arizona but to a hotel yeah so they take Bella to Arizona I don't know why they take her to Arizona but they take her to Arizona she gets a phone call from on her cell from her mom being like Bella Bella what's what's going on where are you and Bella's like it's okay mom like I'm I'm i'll explain later everything's fine and then james picks up the phone and goes like uh-oh uh looks like that your old high school doesn't like protect your information i guess you better come down here

otherwise i'm gonna kill your mom um but don't bring your friends he knows that she's with she's with alice and jasper this escalated so radically they were just playing baseball and making thunderbats hours ago and now they're in this predicament i know this is unbelievable is james just around all the time james has nothing better to do who's james man this is a vampire vampire troll it's just an asshole vampire and also i love how like conveniently all of a sudden like light in arizona doesn't matter i was gonna say like how are they in fucking arizona like that's so crazy. It's opposite of Forks. If they can be in Arizona, why would they be in Forks? You know?

I don't know. Maybe it's nighttime. I don't think it is. Yeah, no, I think they're there long enough that it's daytime at least some of the time. So Bella slips out. She slips away from Jasper. And Alice, she discovers through what Alice has a vision. And also James then tells her on the phone. So it's like, why do we need the vision? away from Jasper and Alice. She discovers through one Alice's vision and also

James then tells her on the phone. So it's like, why do we need the vision? He's like, come to your old dance studio. That's where I am. So she goes there alone, escapes from Alice Jasper. Oh, Alison. This is where the vision is important because Alison Jasper

know that he's at this dance studio because Alice is like, I've seen him. I had had a vision he has a dance studio so but she bella escapes goes to the dance studio she hears her mom bella bella where are you where are you she's like mom opens up a room and it was a fucking vhs tape of a home movie of her mom's voice playing that james found he's like haha haha, fucking I got you. Edward's going to be so mad when you're dead. He really does like taunt her for a while when it's like he

pulls out a video camera and is like, I'm going to take this so that Edward can watch you die. Oh, yeah. He's sadistic. He's like to beg Edward to come and save you. It's like really fucked up. It's very fucked up. James, tone it down, man.

This is not how we can do it really is life as vampires together. We can't sustain this, James. It's a bad play. This is we cannot we simply cannot do this, James. I'm sorry. Yeah, it is. It's like James is trying to start a war here and I will say earlier Laurent that after the baseball when they're like trying to get Bella

out of town they Laurent the other guy comes to the Collins house to be like I mean no harm I think James is crazy but like sorry he's on your case now and he's a bad guy and like this isn't my fight so other vampires are also like yeah yeah, man, sorry, this guy sucks. Well, I got to say, Laurent, it is your fight. He is your friend. It is your responsibility to deal with your friends. And I'll tell you this, as men, we need to be speaking to our friends about their behavior when we see things we do not like. You cannot wash your hands of your friends' behaviors. You are not necessarily accountable for them but you are responsible for them to a certain degree laurent you need to get it together buddy no but we can talk about great i thought you were speaking to all the men of katie thurston season 17 of the bachelorette that's what i'm speaking to all of you who are listening what if one of them was listening there's no way what are

the odds you think they're pretty low pretty low pretty low pretty low but not impossible not impossible yeah so james is a dick and everybody knows it everybody knows it he's uh really oh he fucking steps on her leg and breaks her bone it's he's fucking with bella and he fucking yeah like i forgot it's like stands on it and breaks her leg yeah that's fucked up and she's screaming and he's filming it like, oh, yeah, this is so good. And then just then Edward bursts in and a big literally burst and like jumps in through a second story window. Yeah. And a big old fight ensues. He got there first because Edward is very fast. So he's faster than the others, but we know the others are coming. But for right now,

James is like, you're faster than your friends, but you're not stronger. And Edward says, I'm strong enough to kill you. They're fighting. They're breaking floorboards. They're flying through glass.

I think right before Edward burst in, James bit. Yeah. Yeah. He bites some point her wrist bites her so she the venom has started and we know i think it's when edward's there because edward is able to pull him off because why would he stop right or yeah or it's like as it's happening that's as it's like yeah yeah yeah yeah that's right gets a bite of her um but we know if we've been told that the venom is very very painful when it starts when it starts going into your body and when that happens does that start okay so it starts changing you into a vampire it doesn't kill you if you just get a bite no you get killed if all your blood gets sucked out but that's why

what carlisle does is so impressive joel this is important and you have to listen that's why what Carlisle does is so impressive. Joel, this is important and you have to listen. That's why what Carlisle does is so impressive because to bite someone and have the self, to have the discipline to bite, but not drink all the blood is very, very difficult, which is why normally- You don't turn a lot of people. People don't really get turned because you just want to drink all their blood.

So Carlisle has been able to bite people, but then stop so that they get turned into vampires he essentially saves their lives by making them vampires without kill i do think it's funny to say you die when all your blood gets sucked out but i also now i'm curious and this is maybe right a hundred percent that's true but it makes me wonder about carlisle And this is maybe something that comes in later movies, but since we're just talking about some of their stuff, is he a big time, famous, cool vampire in the community?

Not as much anymore because they think it's kind of weird that he's a vegetarian, but Carlisle has been around a long ass time and he was on the board of like old famous vampires. He's like existed as like the, of like old famous vampires he's like existed as like the there's like this tribunal of like this like old guard of vampires who've existed for centuries the vulture was the vulture thank you he was one of them and you know who the leader is michael sheen giving the best damn performance of his career so fucking good who else is about vulture it it's good fanning um i'd say in the like later worst performance of her career wait they're so funny yeah dakota fanning's in them they the volturi comes in a new moon which is also part of why i like new moon so much because

the volturi is really great good talk about good wig I genuinely love a lot of the performances in this franchise. Like they're so even the horrible ones are perfect. But so, yes, answer your question. Yes. Carla has been around for a long, long, long time and is very important. But so they're going to big fight. Bella, meanwhile, is like writhing in pain, most less from her broken foot and more because she is turning and it's like really, really painful.

But Edward can't do anything about it because he's fighting James. Then the rest of the Cullens show up and they are able to overpower James and rip his arms and legs off and set him on fire. Alice jumps on him from the front and just like twists his neck.

And I think like pops his head off. Clean off, clean off. Throws it in a big fire. Yes. I love the way that the vampires kill each other in these movies. It's so, none of them have blood. So it's like, and just a clean break with like, I don't know,

some like dust flies out when they break off a limb. It's great. They're like Mr. Potato Heads. Yeah. Or like Legos, just like pop that off. And Carlisle is at Bella's side and turns to Edward and says, you need to make a decision right now. She can either turn into a vampire or you can suck the venom out and stop stop her from turning but you'll need to be able to not restrain yourself and not drink all of her

blood and he says i don't want her to be a vampire i don't want to do that um so i'm gonna take option b but he's like i don't know if i have the self-control. And Carl is like, you'll find the will. And it's a real close call. He starts sucking that venom out. And then it's like, okay, Edward, time to stop. And he's like, he's got her, his arm in his face. He's like, I want to keep drinking all our blood. And Carlisle is going like find the will

edward find the will and we're getting like he's having like flashbacks of her beautiful face and then laying in the field i know he's in love with her he's in love with her he's in love with her and when she's doing a voiceover like it doesn't feel that bad to die or something like that um but then she wakes up in a hospital bed. Not with all her blood. He found the well, he found the well, and her mom is at her bedside and Edward is there sleeping, but we know he doesn't sleep. So he's pretending to be asleep. She talks to her mom and her mom says, you know, you can move back down here. She says, I want to stay in forks.

Well, her mom's like, oh, you don't remember what happened at all. Oh, right. And I was like, yeah, no, I don't. What happened? Like you fell down two flights of stairs and crashed through a window. Oh yeah. Cause she has like glass in her legs too. But her mom was abducted by a vampire.

I don't think she was. It was just a tape. No, she wasn't. It was the tape. Oh yeah, he tricked her. But he was at her house. No, he was at a ballet studio. But how did he get the tape? The mom is in the house. She's traveling with her.

It was a trick, but he never had to get baseball boyfriend he tricked her with a vhs tape twice same vhs tape fool me once but yeah so she's like you fell down two flights of stairs and you crashed through a window but edward was in town because he was trying to convince you to come back to forks and so he found you and that's so that's their story for what airtight again airtight airtight no i wonder what they think about the big bite mark on her wrist they don't address it nobody pays attention to that she's wearing long sleeves in the narrative of what happened as far as her parents are concerned she freaked out drove all the way to arizona went to the dance studio and then fell down two flights of stairs and out of a window the dance who doesn't factor into their narrative but yes it's still not good also yeah i mean

you're correct and this comes in later that charlie is never a fan of edward ever again because he's like you broke up with her made her freak out drive across the country then you followed her there she fell down two flights of stairs and then she moved back and is in love with you again yeah it's not great not great um but then yeah she's like i want to stay in forks and her mom's like okay honey well we'll talk about it i'm gonna go i'm gonna go call um her boyfriend i think or i'm gonna go call your dad and um so edward comes over to her bedside and he's like you should you should move to florida with your mom and she this this performance is maybe the craziest to me of this whole movie because she immediately goes like what you're going to do you want me to

she can get like no words out and it's so crazy all of a sudden where it's like christian she's so she's so her lips get like really loose in a way that like isn't normal it's like you can say things like that to me it's just like okay we have to always be together it's like really crazy it's like how many takes of that did you do and you chose that one that was the take that was chosen and you know kristen she can do better but anyway that's what we get hey like i said it's perfect is what it is and so then he's convinced he's like you convinced me um never mind oh yeah i'll never leave you i'll never i'll never leave you let's in fact she goes where would i go

he won't leave her um so yeah so then they're going to prom together she goes back up to forks she wears the worst outfit i've ever seen yeah she wears we haven't even talked about the good 2008 fashion she's just wearing hoodies the whole time basically but this but like with like curled princess hair and like flannels and hoodies and and like jeans this prom look is a purple purple purple dress leggings like like cropped leggings the kind that have like lace trim at the bottom and uh black converse and it is so gross and then and then like her cast tight like hair yeah her cast boot and tight like hair sprayed crunchy ringlets in her hair it's like so crazy and she has the like dramatic staircase entrance too and she looks like shit it's insane it's insane but charlie and edward are both like

she's so beautiful looks so beautiful and then they throw a cardigan on her later i'm like what yeah all right costumes are really crazy um but they go to prom and dance and i don't really remember anything what i say they just love each other so much though no outside of the prom edward goes to like park the car or something and drops bella off she's waiting for him and jacob walks up out of the woods this is only the two of two times we second of two times to see him in this whole movie he walks up to her and she's like jacob are you going to prom he's no, my dad paid me 20 bucks to come and talk to you. And she's like, okay.

And he's like, who's at one point, uh, Billy is his name, right? Jacob's dad. I think so. Yeah. Saw her with Edward. There's like this moment of recognition. Um, and Edward gives him a weird look and he gives Edward a weird look. So anyway, Jacob's like, my dad wants you to break up with your boyfriend.

My dad paid me 20 bucks to try to get you and she's like it just like says it like outright rather than like yeah he was like break up and she's like okay and Jacob's like yeah I don't know it's pretty weird but anyway there's the mess later and then edward comes up just just then and like it like grabs bell and it's like bell it's like going to prom and just like okay bye jacob and he like gives jacob a weird look and jake gives him a weird look like like edward doesn't like jacob and jacob doesn't like edward doesn't really know why he's sort of just like i was oh i don't i don't like him and uh and then edward goes i leave you alone for two minutes and the wolves descend which is a little joke just for us a little foreshadowing oh when they go into prom they dance they talk about how they're in love forever

they're dancing in the most beautifully lit gazebo the entire budget of the movie went to this one gazebo. The gazebo's being the fall. And I'm, like, truly, like, tears falling from my face. Okay. Bella asks Edward, why didn't you change me? You could have just let me become a vampire. And he's like, I wouldn't want that for you. That's right. And she's like, but I'm just going to, like, keep growing older.

And, like, you're going to stay the same. And I want to be with you forever. And he's like, that's not a decision I like but i'm just gonna like keep growing older and like you're gonna stay the same and and i want to be with you forever and he's like that's not a decision i'm gonna make for you um and and he's like can't you just be happy with like a a full long life with me and she's basically like no you uh you have to turn me into a vampire and she's like alice has seen that i'm one of you she like knows that so that why don't you just do it he's like alice has been wrong before anyway basically we're just getting the beginning of this tension that she's like turning into a vampire and he does not want to he's like i wouldn't want to put this life on you um there's a very intense scene where he like dips her and she like shows him her neck and you're like you want me to do it right now she's like yeah yeah he just kisses her very

softly and she's like you um such a tease such a tease look at this restraint yeah doesn't want her to be a vampire he yeah oh my god we skipped like the horniest scene before yeah i was gonna say we skipped the part where they have a kiss that it takes them 45 seconds to touch lips oh my god we forgot at any point somewhere in the middle there's a scene where he shows up in her bedroom in the middle of the night and uh and i like to watch you sleep like tells her that yeah he's like i've been doing this for a few months oh i always coming in here and watching you sleep and she's like oh okay that's hot um but he goes he's like i just want to try something they've never kissed before they're like deep in dating at this point so you

just want to try something and they like lean into each other like so so so so so so so slowly and they kiss and then they like very quickly it like is becoming making out and there it's getting intense and then he pushes himself back and it like pushes her back against the bed he's like i could never lose control with you so yeah he was learning to control it a bit anyway it was just really horny and we forgot to talk about it it is a very horny scene um but then you know we zoom out of their little dancing prom and we see victoria james is what his girlfriend this was james's girlfriend seeing them and she lets her hair down and walks down the stairs as i think muse plays again and um i think it's radiohead this time oh you're right it is radiohead this time um

and anyway that's the end of the movie then we're like oh it's not over uh yeah there's four more where that came from yeah the end the last scene is doesn't it doesn't really match the rest of the movie it's very strange it's weird yeah switches to black and white all of a sudden it's weird yeah that's like part of what i like about it though is just how it's like it's so all over the place there's so many crazy things where it's just it's so funny and weird and bad. It's like a movie that is so bad that it's good is what I would argue that it's like similarly. It's bad, but enjoyable. Yes. Like it is fun to watch.

And again, Robert Pattinson is incredible and so watchable and everything and is like one of my favorite fucking movie stars and actors and it's crazy to me that he is the star of these movies it is so crazy to me that he's the star of these movies fucking robert pattinson it's also though at the same time like not surprising at all Like I feel like he gets so into his roles because I'm like trying to imagine Robert Pattinson specifically in the baseball scene, having to be like, and like how crazy embarrassing that is for all of the actors involved. Like how could anyone do it? But I feel like if anyone could, it's Robert Pattinson.

I feel like he, there's a chance that he might not have even felt embarrassed at all filming that scene. That's the thing about him that is maybe what makes him such an incredible actor is I don't think there's any irony to anything he does ever. Yeah. Okay, can we not forget that the very first scene

he filmed in the lighthouse was the scene of him furiously masturbating outside alone? He stepped on set and was like, let's do the masturbation that was his choice he requested that would be first let's set the tone um thoughts um well so it's definitely crazy i do think though that at its core is a very very uh well composed tension of like can this vampire control his instincts uh and like well that's really the question and like and it culminates really well with like will you will you save her will you let her turn will you uh be able to like stop yourself from sucking all

of her blood up and it like i do think that and like that tension always being there that he could destroy her at any moment is like you know we could call it problematic but it's also just fascinating and it's also just like kind of a core truth of life. You could also call it horny. Right. Like these things are like really intertwined and I almost think like in some ways it's almost too simplistic to like leave it at being problematic that like

consumption and love and things are the same because in a lot of cases they are whether we like it or not. Also like to me the problematic stuff is more of the, like, um, I will obey you.

I fall at your feet. But, but also it's the thing that we've talked about both on this podcast and just as like women in the world, the truth of most in most, maybe not most many, many heterosexual relationships, your partner could destroy

you. Like, like being very aware that you are less physically dominant than your partner. And so it's like, there is a level of extreme trust that is required in a relationship. And like women are used to sort of operating and judging how scared they should be in any given situation or like who they can feel comfortable with or who like that part of relationships is very real for a lot of women so i don't think that that is even like such a crazy stretch that like she's in love with a vampire because like if he he fucks her too hard he could kill her but it's like women operate with a base level of fear all the time but i also think like even more like less literally than that when you're 16 it does feel like you can be destroyed by the person that

you're in love with like it's just so heightened and like and having those stakes at the heart of this story is like it's going to fucking pay dividends to have like that level of stakes on a relationship and like they want to fuck each other, but they can't. And like, that's like what half of every great story is in, in a lot of ways anyway. So I would say like, here's what I think. I think it's like, it's honestly like, it's, it's a really fascinating, fascinating concept. It's a really fascinating fascinating concept it's a

really fucking good idea everything about it like the world building stuff is interesting the way that they like do the vampires is cool that like um what's his name um Carlisle Carlisle is like created this like sort of like culture around him of like being quote-unquote vegetarian which is a bad joke but but when it comes to like the second half of the movie and it's like about james being a fucking asshole that's like it has nothing to do with the other like thematic elements that have really been set up so i think it falls that stuff falls quite flat until you get to the end where then edward has to then make a choice that's like connected to what the central tension of the of the idea is so it gets good there at the end

the james stuff is like why are we doing this but the other stuff i thought is is pretty cool i think you'll like the volturi stuff better and it's making me think joel you better you better finish the full series because you haven't even gotten i remember the first time i watched this movie which was not long ago being like what's all this shit about like edward versus jacob that like that to me is like what twilight is and we didn't even fucking start with that yet i i don't know anything about that either i've only ever seen this movie i've only ever seen the first one wow wow wow wow new moon i'll say it again it's my favorite okay well i want to know about it i do what's the other one like crazy

eclipse and breaking down part one and part two the birth scene is in breaking dawn part one yeah i've heard about that but that's it i don't know anything else i don't know anything else if i had to rank them i would go new moon have to i do have to i know everybody's dying to know what my thoughts are new moon then breaking dawn part two you know what i probably haven't seen eclipse recently enough to do this but eclipse next i think then twilight then breaking dawn part one breaking down part one i feel like any kind of a two-part thing it's tough it's hard but yeah it's like clear that they shouldn't have it didn't need to be broken into two but it was just like they wanted to make more money yeah what's the second one what's it called is it breaking down oh yeah

second one is the second one part two is the second one new moon is the second twilight okay okay um what would your what what are your guys thoughts of like letting a teenage girl watch this? Like your daughter, like part of me would be stressed about it. Oh no, I would definitely not stressed. I would be stressed about letting my like eight year old daughter watch it. Would you have to, would either in either situation have to then like sit down with

your daughter and be like, Hey, here's how it's not okay for a man to treat you this way. You don't leave your family for a man. You don't change. You don't become a vampire. I think it would be a good, it would be a good teaching moment. I think it would be a good teaching opportunity because especially the scene where he's so blatantly gaslight her, you could be like, watch out for someone doing this to you. Right. Yeah. I would let a teenager watch it and but be like i think teenage i think teens are smart enough to know that this is like bullshit especially gen z and below i was

gonna say today's teens they know i'd be more worried about like a younger girl watching it and being and because yeah i let your daughter watch this movie? Yes. And I don't think she would listen to me if I was like, let's sit down and talk about this product. I'd be like, shut up. I'm horny now. Leave me alone. I'm horny. Leave me alone.

I think also as a parent, if you ever don't let your kid watch anything, they're just going to watch it a thousand times harder. That's true. They're just gonna watch it a thousand times harder that's so yeah they're gonna watch it harder jasper style yeah they're gonna look like jasper um all right so what an absolute treat we we did it we made joel a. I can feel it. We turned him. We turned him in our own way. And it's painful, all right.

Hey, but on the other side, it's great. Yeah, I love it. We love you guys and we will talk to you later. Bye. we love you guys and we will talk to you later bye on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. You can follow us on social media at TSDW Podcast on Instagram and Twitter. And if one episode a week just is not enough for you, head on over to patreon.com slash TSDW Podcast to become a patron

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