Too Scary; Didn't Watch - VIOLENT NIGHT
Episode Date: December 21, 2022What do ice skates, nutcrackers, and chimneys have in common? They can all be used as deadly weapons!! Join us as we rediscover the magic of Christmas with bad Santa, David Harbour in peak xm...as horror-comedy film VIOLENT NIGHT. Seasons Beatings, everyone!! TRAILER Recap begins @ 29:23 Follow the show: @TSDWpodcast on Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram. Check out our Patreon for bonus episodes and additional content! Rate Too Scary; Didn’t Watch 5 Stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Emily, Henley, and Sammy. Advertise on Too Scary; Didn't Watch via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This is a HeadGum Podcast.
This is Emily, Henley, and Sammy, and you're listening to Too Scary, Didn't Watch.
Hi everyone, welcome to Too Scary, Didn't Watch, the horror movie recap podcast for those too scared to watch for themselves.
I'm Emily, and I am too scared to watch scary movies.
I'm Henley, and I'm also too scared to watch scary movies.
I'm Sammy, and I love watching scary movies, and so I watch them so that you don't have to.
And this is our last new episode of 2022. Holy crap.
Oh my god, I can't believe it. It's going to be 2023. That
year sounds just wrong to me. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. It's not, it's like not balanced.
It's not good. It's not good. It's not good. It's really wild. Yeah. 2023 on the horizon.
We'll be having some Patreon episode releases for the next two weeks. We are taking two weeks off. Have we ever
taken two weeks off in a row? I don't think we even did that last year. I don't think we ever
have. No, no, no. Sue us, everyone. We got to do it. We simply have got to do it. I'm about to be
with family for nine days. So just know that like, you know, sad we're taking two weeks
off, but most of those two weeks I will be with my family, which I love my family. It's going to
be great. But just like, you know, I'm not, we can't record an episode. I mean, you know, we got,
we're doing things. Yeah. You have a newborn to take care of. I a newborn i have somebody else's newborn to take care of
but if you just snuck a snuck a pregnancy in without ever talking oh yeah by the way i have
a child that'd be really oh yeah it was not a big deal for me i'm pretty unfazed that would
be pretty cool it was like if you like used a surrogate this whole time you hadn't mentioned
pretty wild never talked about it never talked about it. Never talked about it. No. Obviously, we're talking about Emily's sister's newborn.
Obviously.
Not Emily's newborn.
Obviously.
Obviously.
Obviously.
Obviously.
Duh.
I go to see them tomorrow.
So by the time this episode airs, I'll already be there, baby.
Hell yeah.
With a baby.
You know what I mean?
Yep.
Yep.
Yep.
How was your guys' week?
Before we do that, just a little bit of haunted housekeeping is just a reminder that we still
have merch for sale.
If you're looking for a gift for the holidays, it might not get there in time.
It's a little late now.
Sure.
As a matter of fact, it definitely won't by the time this episode comes out, but still
a little belated holiday gift or a gift for yourself.
A New Year's present.
Sending you into 2023 go to too scary didn't watch.com and check out some cool merch shirts sweaters totes
you name it if it's one of those three things you name those and you get it. Name something else. No guarantees. But okay. Now, did anything scary
happen to us this week? Yes. Tell me, tell me. Someone tell me. Something scary. Something scary
did happen to me and Sammy this week. And we have to talk about it, which is that we,
we went to an event. It was sent to see me via a targeted ad.
Sometimes those targeted ads are good.
Sometimes they're this,
which is that it was Krampus's Tavern.
Hell yeah.
Which like, hell yeah.
It was like,
it seemed like it was going to be
sort of like an immersive haunted house type of thing,
but Christmassy, but crampussy and it was
like oh three floors of of crampus related uh spooky stuff and drinks and activities and photos
and i was like okay cool like like you know i've been to a couple haunted house type things in la
that are mainly just like like a spooky vibe things a spooky vibe and you like walk through
different rooms and it's like,
Ooh,
there's a different spooky thing in here.
People in like cool costumes and cool,
like decorated,
really creating an atmosphere,
you know?
Cause you know,
these tickets,
they weren't cheap.
And so we're like,
Oh my God,
great.
We're going to Krampus's tavern.
This is perfect.
I also want to say that like, I get a lot of targeted ads and I will usually send them to people if
it's like something I want to do and be like oh wouldn't this be cool and like usually
people are like oh yeah and like no plans actually get made but Emily immediately was like yeah let's
do it we got other people to do it we got other people to do it It's like the first time I've ever like successfully brought
A big group of people into one of these
Purchases
Honestly Betsy
Correspondent Betsy who ended up not being able to make it
Because she was shooting but she was the real
She was the one who we sent it to her and she was like hell yeah
Let's do this Betsy loves spooky things
Loves Christmas things
Was like let's fucking go we're going
She invited some friends.
Then Betsy couldn't make it.
So we, we had our other friend, um, join us.
Stephanie, other podcast, uh, uh, guests of the past come join us.
We're like, great.
This is going to be fucking great.
We're all a big cramp this night.
We're all doing it.
We're all doing it.
We show up.
I have, this sucked harder than anything I've ever been to.
It was like the second we set Like one foot inside we were like
Oh no
It was first of all
Let's just talk about the second we step in
It was in this really cool theater
In downtown LA like a gorgeous historic
Theater
And it was lit
Henley the lighting you would have been
Fluorescent all
Over the fucking place no ambiance
bright and like very cold feeling and no charm like you're not even spooky charm like you're
in a convention center feeling convention center vibes for sure okay and it was all the whole the whole event was a bunch of little vendors selling things
set up in like booths like true convention center style like little tables of people
selling their wares and it was like rockabilly halloweeny like portraits and like charms and
stuff nothing to do with krampus uh nothing really even to do with
christmas this is nothing against those vendors this they had fine good stuff it's just like
why here why now what are we doing it's gonna be a market tell me that i didn't come to the
place like prepared to shop you know like it must spend money to come to a thing yeah to spend more money on random stuff what the hell wait were other people could you
tell that other guests were just as shocked as you were absolutely yes yes everybody was it was
so funny so it was so funny we all we got fully tricked we so it was like three there are like
three floors and they're we're on the so the ground floor vendors and there was like a mezzanine level and we're like i guess let's go check out the mezzanine there were like
three uh guys in krampus costumes walking around do like doing nothing other than just like being
in a krampus costume and like just like walking around not like not being spooky not trying to
scare anybody not like just just like amongst the crowd
and no like design no like decorations or like production a couple garlands but like not but
truly like no no ambience zero ambience and so we're like okay fine let's just like check out
the other levels to see what you spent again too much money on this event so we go at like we have
a big there's like nine of us so we go oh no oh no
let's see what the mezzanine level is like go up more vendors more little booze all trapped
uh all knocked all together um can i say our spotted yeah yeah let's say that we had a spotted
there we saw julia garner that's really funny um emmy winner golden globe nominee everyone's just looking around like where
the fuck am i everyone just like you catch a glance with somebody else just like what
they also had a sign that was like dungeon go down to krampus's spooky dungeon on and like the
basement level and we're like okay well that's where the, that's where it's going to be like spooky and cramp.
Let's see.
We'll go to the dungeon.
Great.
Literally on a sign,
on a sign for this at the event.
It's like going out to the basement.
I was like,
okay,
well I guess we'll go and just basement this way.
Okay,
we go,
we go down the stairs.
As we get down,
other people are coming up and they're like,
there's nothing down there.
It's an empty room.
It's just an empty basement.
Oh,
okay. Well, I guess let's, we'll. It's just an empty basement. Oh, okay.
Well,
I guess let's,
we'll go check it out.
There were two women,
I guess who works there maybe who told us like,
Oh yeah,
there was stuff down here yesterday,
but we decided to move all the vendors up.
It was just more vendors moved while upstairs.
It's literally an empty basement,
not closed off or anything.
You can go there,
but it's just an empty fucking room.
Oh my God. With all the lights off and so we just went in and like hung out down there in the basement for
like 15 minutes with our friends and we're like what the fuck are we doing here some guys came
down at one point to like unplug some cords didn't care that we were just like standing in this empty basement of this event where there was nothing happening it was so weird and so bad and then they had a woman singing on the stage
which like okay cool that's cool she was good but like she wasn't dressed like christmasy she
wasn't singing anything christmasy there was nothing crampusy there was nothing it
was like she was like singing amy winehouse it made no sense it was so so weird and bad and an
unbelievable scam and i got we got so tricked tickets were tickets were fifty dollars the
drinks fifty dollars a person twenty dollars yeah So I spent $70 to walk around this place confused for 15 minutes.
And then we went and got dinner because we were like, fuck this.
Okay.
This is stunning.
This is stunning.
I love that this was even allowed to proceed past one day.
It's like the guy who did, what was it?
Fire.
Fire Festival.
That's what our friends said.
They're like, this is Fire Festival.
We went to the Fire Festival.
Crepe is Fire Festival. Joel kept saying our friends said. They're like, this is Fire Festival. We went to the Fire Festival. Creep is Fire Festival.
Joel kept saying he was going to call the Better Business Bureau.
I wonder if you looked it up if there are just like wild reviews.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm sure.
I'm sure.
There's probably going to be an op-ed in the LA Times about how bad it was.
I really like, I literally don't understand how they
got away with it. I mean, I, I helped them to get away with it. So I guess I get it, but it's like,
it, it felt as if they knew they weren't trying. That's what really killed me. It's just like,
oh, you, you just got us in the door, but now it doesn't matter because we're stuck.
You don't, you, now you don't care.
So crazy.
Yeah.
Guys, don't go to the Krampus Tavern.
Don't do it.
Do not go to the Krampus Tavern.
However, I did just look up Krampus' Cove and I'm like, well, that sounds fun.
Why don't we just keep getting duped into Krampus events?
I mean, the lore of Krampus is strong and undeniable, so I get it, but
how many times
can we get tricked? Yeah.
Before we learn our lesson.
Yeah. Henley, did anything
scary happen to you this week?
Oh, no. I have nothing
to talk about. To be bummed
that nothing scary happened to you.
I'm like, no.
You don't have to. you don't have to say anything
we can skip it you know what you've done what 50 other scary things this year or 50 check-ins this
year you could say that's i feel like i was gonna talk about something but now i can't remember what
it was oh i guess like i you guys i'm like really struggling today I'm really struggling
Um
I guess I did buy too many
Sweaters that's pretty scary
I bought too many sweaters but the
Real issue is that then my mom sent me two
Sweaters in the mail and then I also got
Another sweater as a present
And I have nowhere to put these sweaters
And I don't know what to do with them
Classic too much soup situation.
Classic too much soup.
But it's just too many sweaters.
And I have nothing else to say about it except that I have sweaters coming out of my ears.
Nobody buy Henley any more sweaters.
She has too many.
I have too many.
They take up so much space.
I'm going to start storing them in like weird places.
But that's the scariest thing that happened to me this week by far by far by far
It's really sweaters are tough. I'm about to go. Like I said, do you see family somewhere cold?
And so it's like I need to bring all my
sweaters, but they take up so much fucking space and i'm like what I
What am I gonna what am I supposed to do got a bulk up on your plain outfit?
It gives me like a cold pit of anxiety to even consider it.
But one solution is one of those like air vacuum machines.
But the thought of air vacuuming anything in my life and having it in like little individual
plastic bags is like the scariest thing I could possibly think of.
Now that's interesting.
So I don't think I'll ever go down that route.
But it's probably
the most practical, practical choice. Yeah. Well, I have two small things. One of them is that my
arm has been twitching for like six days now. If anybody has any tips on where, how to, and it
don't, it's not caffeine. She's not drinking caffeine. So we already, that was a pitch that
was thrown out and that's not it.
And then what was the other one that was someone was like, Oh, is it this?
It's like, Nope.
Not exercising.
Nope.
Not exercising.
Wait, your arm.
Where in your arm?
It's my, my upper arm, like inside of my upper arm.
It's not constant.
It's just every couple hours.
It'll do a little spasm for a few minutes. And it's really annoying.
I think it must have something to do with you leaning your elbow when you work.
I think it, yeah, I think it must be the way that I.
Or like you're stressed, so you're like tensing up more as you do that, maybe.
It's usually stress, right?
I think.
Everything?
I used to get eye twitches a lot, which makes sense. Staring at a screen being stressed. Sure. And I guess an arm twitch is kind of similar to an eye twitch. Yeah, that's probably really distracting, though, right? It feels weird. It's distracting. When I'm like falling asleep, it happens. It's very annoying. i've actually eaten like more bananas lately too
and i was like could it be caused by bananas too much potassium how about your water intake
i drink a lot of no i drink a lot of water okay yeah so it's not that it's not that it's probably
the bananas i probably ate too many bananas you gotta cut down on your you gotta cut down on your
bananas yeah probably um And then the other thing
Just a little sad thing is that
Our beautiful mountain lion P22
Died this week
And I just
Loved him a lot and I'm going to miss him
I know it really is sad
So for any listeners who are not
Aware of P22
He was Los Angeles'
Resident mountain lion He had crossed some freeways
at one point over into griffith park which is in like the very residential like middle of la
and so he just lived in griffith park for a really long time because he like couldn't get back up to
the santa monica mountains where the other mountain lines are.
And every now and again, there would be sightings.
He'd be like in somebody's fucking yard because he just was around.
He was a real celebrity.
He lived a long life.
It feels like P-22 and Angeline are like the two L.A. icons.
Fuck, I want a sweatshirt that has Angeline and P- on it and the Hollywood sign. Ooh, that's a great idea.
Who's Angeline? Sorry.
Henley what?
Who's Angeline? Oh God.
The woman that drives around in the
pink Corvette
that used to buy billboards of herself
Her husband used to
buy her billboards and it was like she's
got blonde hair and she always puts a fan in front of her face
and she has huge tits and wears tiny pink dresses and drives a pink corvette around
and people pay money to take pictures with her or to drive around in her car they made a tv show
about this with emmy rossum they did but i did not watch it and i did not know what that was
even referencing i have never heard of angeline before this isn't even ringing a bell besides that's so weird wow she's not once such a such a
la staple like it's a real fixture yeah and you can like stop her if you see her she'll like pull
over and you can buy merch out of her car the whole point is for you to like buy her things
that's all she does is like sell her identity then and you know i haven't seen her
in a long time actually i used to see her pretty frequently she used to be right by um ucb franklin
like all the time yeah um well so p22 they did so somebody hit him with their car recently because
you know he's like out in the hills in the neighborhoods and um and so they got they
caught him and checked his injuries and
and they decided to put him down which was the right call because he was probably suffering a
lot but it's very sad yeah i'm very sad about it love you p22 love you you're a very good mountain
lion all these years it was cool to have a city mountain line. It was. But okay, should we get into this week's movie?
I'm so excited.
Okay, so today we are going to be talking about Violent Night in theaters now, directed by Tommy Workola, written by Pat Casey and Josh Miller, starring Davidid harbour john leguizamo alex hassell
alexis lauder leah brady cam gigandette is that how you say that gigandette i have no idea sorry
cam edie patterson and beverly d'angelo and um yeah it's in theaters right now if you want to
see it i think it's a good time oh she liked she liked it, you guys. She liked it.
I've honestly heard really great things.
Yeah, it seems like people like it.
People are enjoying it.
And this is fun.
This is getting us into the holiday spirit.
We are recording an episode later today that will be out by the time this episode comes out,
where you guys will be recapping a Christmas movie to me.
That's a bonus episode.
Yeah.
So if you want to see or hear that, join our Patreon.
Toni Collette's inner circle.
That's the place to be.
But for now, I'm going to tell you about a violent Christmas movie.
Is it very Christmassy?
I mean, it must be.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Great.
So, okay.
So the whole thing is I don't like Christmas movies
Yeah so how'd you tolerate this one?
How'd it go?
Do you like any of them?
I like Elf
And you love Love Actually
No I don't even like Love Actually
You love what it represents
Love it's everywhere
You like the messaging
Of Love Actually You're just obsessed with Keira Knightley it's everywhere you like the messaging of love actually you're just obsessed with
kira knightley it's so weird you love anything actually is all around around it's one of my
i feel like blows my mind every time is how close in age kira knightley and what's his face were in
that movie the one that plays the like what seems like a tiny little boy but they were actually only like three years the one who ends up being 15 and she's like 18 yeah exactly
yeah thomas brody sangster he was in um queen's gambit right yes and game of thrones yeah yeah
yeah i remember being conflicted he's 32 and she's... He's 32?
37.
So they're five years apart.
Isn't that wild?
Pretty wild, yeah.
Yeah, she was way too young to be playing that role.
Mm-hmm.
Anyway, we're not talking about that.
We're not talking about that.
But I will say for this movie, it's like the thing I liked about it at least was all the Christmas stuff.
But I will say for this movie, it's like the thing I liked about it at least was all the Christmas stuff.
Because it still followed that kind of standard Christmas plot.
Interesting.
Where you just have to believe.
And that's what will make you triumph in the end.
Oh, is that what you don't like about Christmas?
Is the believing part?
I think it's the monotony of them.
It's that it's just constantly the same formula.
Yeah.
Yeah. Of course.
I mean,
it's really outrageous.
Miracles happen at Christmas time.
Yeah.
And it's just about love.
You fall in love at Christmas time.
It's just about giving and love.
And really it's about taking.
I feel like I'm stuck in a situation.
Tim and I are in a situation now where like, now that we have Silas, we're like, oh, right.
We have to like have Christmas for our, you know, our children.
That's a thing we have to like manifest for them.
Right.
And neither of us, when he's, Silas is only 18 months.
We're going to my parents and my mom is doing everything.
But like this year I was like, oh, we should get a Christmas tree. I should like decorate. I didn't do any of that. I didn't do, I did nothing. And
Tim also hates Christmas music. So I tried listening to Christmas music for a brief period
of time and he was like, I can't, I can't keep listening to this. So I was like, Oh, I don't
know what we're going to do. But you know, when you have kids, you have to have like traditions
and decorate. Yeah, that's true. I hadn't thought about it. Cause to do, but you know, when you have kids, you have to have like traditions and decorate.
Yeah, that's true.
I hadn't thought about it because it is so nice to just like drop into somebody else's house who's like done it all.
Exactly.
Exactly.
And I, you know, I think I'll be able to find some fun in it in years, you know, hopefully later on.
Yeah, when he's enjoying it more.
Yeah.
I remember as a kid really loving like getting a new ornament, which now I feel
like ornaments mean absolutely nothing. I always hated getting an ornament. Sorry, mom. I feel
like you've given me so many ornaments and I love you for that, but I really never really liked it
very much. They are stupid and meaningless, but they're, but i really liked it as a kid and i'd be like oh my god a new ornament oh my god it's so exciting kids are so weird
kids are fucked up we used to get we would get an ornament every year that like had to do with
something we'd done that year oh that's cute be like themed yeah and that was like really
like a ballet slipper the year you did that.
Yeah.
That's a nice type of thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And so it would be like, that would be fun.
It's very thoughtful.
What's the ornament going to be?
What's the theme of the year?
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
But yeah, I mean, ornaments are bullshit.
So dumb.
Christmas is so dumb.
Christmas.
Christmas.
Also, you guys, Christmas is-
I only celebrate Henley's birthday.
Yeah.
Christmas is so loaded for me now because A, it's my birthday.
But then also for close, close listeners, Tim, my husband is going to be a priest soon.
So he's going to be working on Christmas.
So I don't know what our Christmas is going to look like because he's going to be like
doing services on Christmas day.
So what the hell is Christmas going to be like for he's going to be like doing services on Christmas day. So what the
hell is Christmas going to be like for me? I do not know. I'm going to be at church, I guess.
Yeah. Isn't it a while that I live until just now? I feel like I truly forgot that Christmas
is a religious holiday for a lot of people. That is literally the point of Christmas.
Yeah, that's the point. And I'm just like no what's my little ornament buying purchases i know i know it's wild and food oh it's about food
and time time off yeah resting it's about resting um Let me tell you some little stats about Violent Night.
Okay.
It has a 73% on Rotten Tomatoes, a 55% on Metacritic, and a 7.1% on IMDb.
Pretty good.
Not too shabby.
Its budget was $20 million.
So far, it's made $48.1 million.
Very good.
Wow.
And I read through the trivia.
I thought it was all kind of boring, so...
Okay, fuck it.
We're skipping it.
We're skipping it.
We don't need it.
So, shall we watch this trailer?
Yes.
You ain't driving, are you?
I steer a little, but the reindeer do my sewer.
This is my fourth year at the center.
How about you?
I started the whole damn thing.
Ho, ho, ho!
It's Christmas!
We decided that you could have one gift.
Early.
What is it?
That is a direct hotline to Santa Claus himself.
I can talk to Santa?
All right, revelers.
Welcome to your worst Christmas ever.
Let's go!
You have $300 million in your personal vault.
That's what I want for Christmas.
I don't want any trouble, okay?
Let's hope he's gonna scooch up that chimney.
Who is he?
Because he's not your typical mall Santa.
Santa, are you there?
Daddy said you were very busy tonight.
My name is Trudy Lightstone.
Are you gonna help us, Santa?
Yeah, Trudy.
Santa?
No, my nice list.
Santa Claus is coming to town.
Time for some season seasons beatings.
Who the hell are you?
Boss, what if he really is the real...
There is no such thing as Santa.
These bad men... They're all all my naughty ones naughty that's naughty
and what do you do to the naughty ones i give them a lump of coal
where is it i gotta watch
i believe in you Santa Okay
I had literally not
I've never seen the trailer
I'd only seen the poster
And this is not what I thought
It was gonna be at all
Me either
I had no idea
I thought he was gonna be
A bad like
An evil Santa
Me too
I kind of thought that too
But Santa's good
He's just a badass
He's a crime-fighting Santa.
This seems very fun.
I'm actually sort of like, oh, shit, I would have watched this.
Yeah, I was going to say, I kind of think you could both handle it, because it's not
scary at all.
There's, like, no moments where you're scared.
It's just violent.
But it's, like, action slash home alone type violence.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
type violence uh-huh yeah it's all like um silly slapstick kind of like santa being ridiculous and huge and saying things like seasons beatings yeah there's a lot of winky christmas jokes that how
good for david harbour make me laugh yeah he's great he's a great santa he's a perfect Santa. Of course. Super fun. He's also the way he sneaks little
ho ho ho's into like normal grunts and laughs that he does was like, honestly, really impressive.
Did you see when he ate the cookie? He's like, ho ho ho. He does that throughout the movie where
it's like, he just did a ho ho ho ho and like and like snuck it in there
really impressive ho ho ho
he got another one in each time like and then he's doing it again
and none of them are ever like ho ho ho i'm santa they're all just covered a little it's subtle it's in a cough
it's in a enjoying like groan wow wow nuance acting from david harbour i'm thrilled and i
loved his hair i loved his like messy hair that got in his face he put it up in a little bun
santa in a little bun it's really fun So cute. Yeah. It's fun.
I think, yeah, you guys can decide at the end if you'll see it.
Great.
Great.
Great.
And it seemed, honestly, yeah, like really festive. And I also like that.
I mean, you'll tell us about it, but John Leguizamo's character is Scrooge and he's the one like fucking getting fucked up by Santa.
Yep.
This is fun.
fucking getting fucked up by santa yep this is fun it's in the past few years i have hit a point where i only want to be wearing clothes that are comfortable it happened it happened to me but you
know what i still also want to look cute and these are two desires that are often extremely opposing
and i don't want to have to sacrifice i want both i want comfort and I want to feel cute and confident. And guess
what? Skims has freaking done it again with their soft lounge collection. I am currently very,
very obsessed with, I have the soft lounge tank and boxer set. Okay. This tank, it's a great little
rib tank. Classic. You can wear it every day. You can pair it with jeans. You can wear it out in the
world, or you can wear it with this little boxer short that is so comfortable. It is super, super soft, lightweight
rib. They're great. I also truly have been for years stealing Joel's boxer briefs to wear as
sleepwear and loungewear. And guess what? That ain't cutting it. I'm not feeling too cute in
those. I'm not feeling too comfortable. But desperate times. However, desperate times know more because Skims has done it.
You too can get on board with this.
You can see just how cute and comfortable you can be.
Shop the Skims Soft Lounge Collection at Skims.com.
Now available in sizes extra, extra small through 4X.
And if you haven't yet, be sure to let them know that we sent you.
After you place your order, select podcast in the survey
and select too scary, didn't watch in the drop down menu that follows.
If you're a new parent, a bad day means you either ran out of coffee,
diapers, patience, or all of the above.
Stocking up on cold brew and deep breaths are all you,
but at least Hello Bello's got your baby's butt covered.
Hello Bello believes all families deserve premium, affordable baby products. With their
ultra-convenient diaper bundle subscription service that includes 7 packs of diapers and
4 packs of plant-based wipes, you'll never run out of supplies. Ever. Again. Better yet,
they're delivered to your door. Set, change, and cancel your delivery schedule whenever you want.
And these designs are so cute, you guys.
I did not think it would be possible to be jealous of a diaper.
Named Best Diaper Subscription by New York Magazine and winner of the 2022 Good Housekeeping
Parenting Award, Hello Bello will keep you well-stocked on dipes and wipes.
Go to hellobello.com slash too scary to get 30% off your first customized bundle and a
full-size freebie product of your choice.
30% off your first customized bundle and a full-size freebie product of your choice.
That's hellobello.com slash too scary to start bundling with 30% off your first order.
Don't forget, that's hellobello.com slash too scary.
It's fun.
Shall we get into it?
We absolutely shall.
Let's do it.
Okay, so I saw it in theaters yesterday, so I shall do my best.
Mm-hmm.
She can do it.
I just got out of breath.
She can do it. She can do it.
She can do it.
For one sentence.
I really had to take a breath.
We can do it.
We can do it.
We can do it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Loosen up.
Loosen up.
Get ready.
Get ready.
Get ready.
Okay, so we start in a pub in england santa is sitting at the bar
chugging a beer finishing a cup getting another and the um bartender asks him you're not driving
right he's like he saw in the trailer he says uh you know, the reindeer mostly do it. I just have to steer a little bit.
Everyone's kind of laughing.
We're thinking this is a mall Santa.
Another mall Santa comes and sits next to him is like, oh, how long you been doing this?
Like, I've been doing it for four years.
And our Santa that we are coming to realize is the Santa.
The real one.
Yes.
He's saying, you know, I've lost count. Feels real, the real one. Yes. As he's saying,
you know,
I've lost count.
It feels like it's been forever.
Um, all these answers that are to them seeming normal,
but to us,
we're understanding on another level.
And he seems a little disillusioned with being Santa.
They think he's just like jaded of working with kids.
But he's like, it's all about gifts and presents.
It's not about like the true spirit of Christmas.
All they want is video games and money.
And like he's feeling a little bitter.
And then he gets up to go.
He's like, all right, I get better get back to it.
This is Christmas Eve.
like, all right, I get better get back to it. This is a Christmas Eve. And he reaches into his sack and tosses on the bar counter a wrapped gift for the bartender's grandson. He's like, oh,
this is for your grandson, Timmy. It's that book that he wanted. And she looks like, what the fuck?
Like, how do you know my grandson's name? How did you know I have a grandson? And he's like,
stumbles out. He's like, all right, see you you later and he goes through a door that then the woman is like wait that goes to the roof it
says authorized personnel only and she's like oh it's fucking drunk like idiot and she goes to
follow him gets to the roof there's nothing there she looks up into the sky so funny honestly and sees a sleigh pulled by reindeer jingle bells are heard and her face is like filled
with delight and i really was in this moment just like imagine if you fucking really saw santa
be so crazy i would feel like i was having a mental breakdown like i think of all things to
see i would be like that feels like something that is
my brain is broken something's wrong with me yeah and she does look very confused but she looks
mostly like delighted by this like holy shit this is so cool and crazy and she's like looking up at
him and waving and then he throws up over the side of the sleigh and all goes on her head. Oh, gross. And it's very nasty. Um,
and then we get our, our main title. So that's our set in the tone. That's our Santa.
So are we feeling good so far? I mean, I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it.
I don't, I can't predict at all. It's going to happen.
Yeah. It's really, really hard to say say this is a real mystery to me so far and then we are in Greenwich Connecticut and we meet Jason he this was so weird I recognized
him as the invisible guy from the boys who is invisible in all of the boys.
And I looked him up one time and like, so I knew his face from that.
But I just thought that was funny.
He's also in the tragedy of Macbeth.
And he was so fucking good in it.
This is Alex Hassell.
He's great.
I like him.
I hope he's in more stuff.
But he is being picked up by his wife and daughter. So hot's great. I like him. I hope he's in more stuff. But he is being picked up by his wife and daughter.
So hot dad alert.
Okay.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Oh, Merry Christmas.
And his wife's name is Linda.
His daughter's name is Trudy.
It's clear that they are possibly newly separated they're they are not
happy to see each other and i think trudy says some says something about the like tension between
them trudy's who knows uh 12 ish oh no she must be younger than that nine because she believes in
santa because don't you stop believing
in santa when you're like eight yeah she's she's around that age but i guess like in this world
santa's real so you know jokes on you yeah that's true that's true that's the other thing is like
if santa were real we would know if there were presents appearing under the tree every year that
we didn't put there if santa were real our parents are assholes
that'd be so funny if that were the actual secret is that he is like i don't i don't
want to give santa the credit i bought him i bought him i bought him
oh my god you sneaky i want my kids to think i'm rich you sneaky motherfuckers
you got us you got us And then you got us again.
Do you guys remember when you found out Santa wasn't real?
I don't remember.
I don't remember either.
I don't remember either.
It seems like such a big lie to like lie to your kids for so long, but no one seems to
care as a, you know what I mean?
Like no one remembers.
It's not like it's traumatizing to find out that he's not real.
And it always is portrayed that way in movies as this moment of like yeah i did not have but i didn't have that
i think it was more gradual like finding i think i'd remember finding a present in a closet that
was like written from santa oh like a couple weeks before christmas and being like wait a second
i i wonder what it feels like for kids i think it would be more traumatizing
to learn that elf on the shelf yeah because that's so active and like in your house yeah
yeah and like manipulative yeah right oh i don't like elf on the shelf what is up on the shelf it's
just so you have to behave he's making sure you're good he's santa's helper and he's in your house
with you so he can he reports back to santa if you're if you're good or bad and you have to move him every night because
every night he like goes back to santa to like report on you and then shows up in a different
place the next morning and you have to like tell long stories about elf on the shelf to your kids
every day lying to about surveillance for your children a It's like a little more elaborate, yeah. Yeah. But okay, so they
are driving together to
Jason's parent, Jason's mother's
house, and he's
saying to Linda, like, thank you for
doing this. I really appreciate this. And Linda's
like, I'm not doing it for you.
They pull up to a gated,
what looks like a gated community.
We find out it is just one gated
enormous property
and there's a man at the gate that uh lets them in it's clear that they've known him for a long time
and they are let into this road that leads to a huge mansion j Jason comes from an incredibly wealthy family.
Okay.
And we're getting the sense
that this is a bit of the source
of the tension in their marriage.
Linda is obviously not
like wooed by this money
and it's apparently been a problem
and his like mom's presence
in the family business
has been like a stressful
thing in their relationship. Um, but they pull up, they go inside, there's all this staff,
this staff working like security and chefs and like people carrying little trays around
and a bartender. And we find out that this is just for their family there's i think seven
people that are going to be here so they're like outnumbered by the staff by like three to one
whoa okay so they're that level of wealthy uh and i'm thinking at this point all of these staff
look like undercover cops everyone is just looks mean and like muscly and i don't know and we'll find
out that that's for a reason so okay but it really did stick out to me i was like what the fuck why
do all these people look like this uh they go into the living room and we meet his sister,
Alva,
Jason's sister,
who is played by Edie Patterson from righteous gemstones,
who's just so fucking funny.
And she's playing basically the exact character as Judy gemstone again,
because she's another like rich daughter who,
and I think their last name is light stone in this.
So it's even similar family name.
I think their last name is Lightstone in this.
So it's even a similar family name.
And she immediately is kind of picking a fight with Jason and saying,
you know, someone's going to need to take over the family business.
I'm going to take this out from under you.
You're such a suck up.
You're always trying to get on mom's good side.
You're her favorite,
but like,
I'm going to prove to her that I deserve it.
She's very competitive for the top spot in like the next generation of the
family's business. So this is just like succession is what you're telling me. It's very competitive for the top spot in like the next generation of the family's business.
So this is just like Succession is what you're telling me.
It's very similar.
This is a Christmas movie.
Very similar.
Perfect.
Yeah.
And she has a boyfriend named Morgan Steele played by Cam Gigandet.
Again, I don't know if that's how you say his name, but you may know him from Twilight.
He plays, what does he play?
James.
He's like one of the three bad guys.
Is he the villain in the first one?
Yep.
From the dance studio?
Yep.
The blonde guy?
Yep.
The ponytail?
Mm-hmm.
Hell yeah.
Yes, yes, yes.
And he is like a wannabe Action star
And we meet him talking
About how he would have stopped 9-11
If he was on the plane, which is a very funny
Reference to a real thing that Mark Wahlberg
Said
Oh right, I forgot about that
It's so crazy, he did apologize
For saying it, but it is just so funny
To be like, oh it wouldn't have happened if I was there
It's, yeah, it's like you can Apologize for that it, but it is just so funny to be like, oh, it wouldn't have happened if I was there.
It's yeah.
It's like you can apologize for that.
But we all know that you thought it.
That's your that is your worldview.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's a hard one to forget.
Yeah.
So he we also learn is excited to pitch his movie idea to her mom.
It's like an opportunity for her to invest in it uh alva also has a son named bert he's like an annoying another annoying little rich kid who's like street live streaming on his
phone a lot and the mom walks in mom's name is gertrude she's like very intimidating and cold
like not really friendly to her grandchildren she's like on the phone doing business deals,
like yelling at a Senator.
And she eventually like says hi to everybody.
And we see little Trudy give her a hug like grandma.
And she says,
or,
or Alva says like,
you guys are such suck ups.
You named your daughter after mom
mom's name is gertrude and the daughter's name is gertrude but she goes by trudy
and they say you named your son bertrude
that's really funny she's like not all of us can be blessed with daughters okay
and so gertrude finds out that trudy is going by trudy and she says oh you sound like a whore
so that's her like grandmother vibe you sound like a whore yeah she she doesn't say it to her
she says it to jason but like absolutely with like with it and earshot she's like trudy sounds
like a whore's name that's a crazy thing and he say. And he's like, mom. And she's like, she doesn't know what that word means. Wait, I've told you guys about the family I babysat
for one time. Who's the dad was Paul and the daughter was Paulina and the son was Paul.
Oh my God. Paulina and Paul and Paul and Paulul do you think they'll keep it going it just gets more
confusing with like the more generations it is like imagine if everyone at a christmas dinner
is all named paul or paulina or paula like that gets really crazy to be like oh hi nice to meet
you my name is paulina this is my brother paul oh and i would love to have you meet my dad Paul What's the mom's name?
I don't know I can't remember
I can't remember
Obviously it would be pretty fucked up if it was
Paula or something
It just would be confusing
How would you
Paula passed the assault?
Who are you talking to?
They would all need nicknames
Wow that's insane Okay so They would all need nicknames. They would all need nicknames. Okay. Wow.
That's insane.
Okay.
So,
uh,
yes,
we,
now we get,
we've met that family,
our,
our main characters.
And we go back to Santa to see a little montage of him going house to
house.
He taps his nose to magically go down the chimney.
He like turns into like a little magic dust and
reappears inside and he's a little drunk still. He's like swaying side to side. He's stealing
instead of cookies. He's taking beers and he's not having a good time. Back at the mansion,
Trudy realizes that her dad forgot to take her to the mall this year
so she could tell Santa what she wants.
And she's really upset by this.
And Linda gives Jason this look like, are you fucking kidding?
Like, that's the one thing that you had to do and you didn't do it.
So he runs to a little storage room, a little game closet, finds something, wraps it.
And as they're tucking her into bed, he says, we've got one gift
for you. And she unwraps it and it is a walkie talkie. And he says, that's a direct line to
Santa. He's really busy tonight. So he might not get back to you, but you just talk into there and
tell him what you want and he will hear it. Um, and she's, she's like so relieved by this. Like,
thank you so much. Yeah, that was good thinking. Good thinking.
So they they tuck her in and they leave the room and they're listening outside the door because she's about to like talk into the walkie talkie and they know that.
And she's talking to Santa.
She's being so sweet.
Really smart parenting shit.
And she's saying really sweet things like I've been I've been so good all year and I
like did this nice thing and I know you're so busy and I'm so sorry i hope you're having a really good night so far
and what do you guys think she asks for um her parents to get back together
that's right these movies write themselves tough one for them to overhear yeah so it's awkward um with them and
jason seems more interested in getting back together than linda well we gotta do it she asked
it's her christmas witch which this is which that's what this movie should be about
i'd see that movie yeah same um and he talks to her
talks to linda and is like what if we could give her her give her what she wants give her her wish
and she says you know that i can't be with you and you're like part of this family it's like i
don't want this life and i don't want like the person you are when you're part of this business
and he says what if we just walk away like after this
let's just walk away and never come back here and she's like oh well if we did that that would be
a conversation to have but then it cuts away and we don't really see how that conversation ends but, uh, everyone goes to bed, I think. And we see Santa arriving now at this house and he is
enjoying the cookies that Trudy made. Cause she made them homemade with love
and care and he can taste it. This is where he goes.
Oh, and he uh sits in a little massage chair and he's uh luxuriating in this fancy house for a bit
and we see john leguizamo at the front gate going up to the guard and saying his car broke down on
the road can you help me the guard's looking suspicious real quick takes out a gun shoots him right in the head
and gets on a walkie-talkie and we see sure enough all the seemingly undercover cops in the house
have walkie-talkies and he's messaging them and he says mr scrooge here it's a go and all of them
start checking in with their little code names and it's like tinsel check
candy cane check sugar oh my god oh my god and it really did make me laugh even though it's so
stupid them just being like okay you gotta do a job on christmas eve let's have some fun
and so they all pull out their weapons that they had been hiding and start killing.
I guess some of the people that were working were actual employees of the family that are not a part of this scheme.
And so they all get immediately murdered.
And Santa hears the gunfire from upstairs.
There's like two living rooms in this house.
It's that big.
So I was a little confused because Santa is also in a living room with a fireplace but there's another
living room with a fireplace so i guess in a big house there probably would be multiple so
he's hearing the gunfire he's trying to get out of there uh and then one of the henchmen comes into the room and finds him
and they have like a fight and he's trying to use his little magic to get out he's like tapping his
nose thing and it's kind of doing just like a little bit of sparkles like he's out of juice
kind of thing it's not quite working he's like oh fuck fuck. And he opens the window. He's on the second floor and looks below
the window. There's this Christmas tree sculpture. That's basically just like a huge spike. And he's
like, don't want to jump onto that. And so he like tries to reason with the henchmen. Henchmen is,
uh, they're trying to like gather everybody into the downstairs living room so he's like follow me come
with me he's like no i'm not gonna do that they get in a fight and it looks like santa at first
is getting the shit beat out of him and then he kind of at one point uh something something flips
and he's like you don't want me to do Oh, and we had seen earlier at the bar him cracking chestnuts with his bare hands.
So we know he's strong.
He's got magic Santa strength.
So then he eventually takes this guy out.
And in their fight, they both fall out of the window.
And the henchman gets impaled on the spike and santa
misses it and just lands on the snow below so now santa's outside and he's watching through
the window as the rest of the family are gathered into the living room by a bunch of
other henchmen with machine guns and oh in that fight also the gun like shot into the ceiling
and that's where the reindeer are and they got scared and they ran away and so santa is now
stranded and doesn't have a way to get out so santa's watching through the window as he sees
mr scrooge giving his big speech about why they're
doing this. And he's talking to Gertrude and saying, we're here because you have $300 million
in your vault downstairs. And we're here to take it. And she keeps thinking like,
you're such an idiot. Didn't you see when my brother got kidnapped? Our kill team came in
and they never found the kidnappers, if you get what I'm saying. And he's like, I know that,
Gertrude. Like, I've done my research. I know everything about you. And it's like,
he keeps re-getting the upper hand. She keeps thinking, I've got one over on you. She doesn't.
He keeps being like, Gertrudeude how many times do I have to tell
you like I know like trust me I know so he says kill team's gonna be here in 20 minutes Scrooge
says I'm counting on it and we see Santa go back inside to another room um of the house kind of
like a game room it has like a pool table and another henchman comes in
there. They have a big fight and there's like cute little Christmas gags. Like he's reaching
into his sack, his magical sack and being like, come on, like looking for something to use as a
weapon. And it's like, ah, good diehard DVD and nothing that he can use. And like, eventually
there's a big doll that he used uses to like hit him over the side of the head and somewhere in here santa gets he gets punched pretty good
and it dazes him and we get like a brief flash of him as a viking like what looks like a flashback
just like santa in viking garb great great great great great and then he comes back to and gets back in this fight
and he like fills a sock with pool pool balls and is beating the guy with that this guy gets
fucking the shit beat out of him and you know how in movie fights they just like get right back up
it's so crazy it's like if you get beaten in the head three times with a sock filled with pool balls,
you're not jumping right back up.
Yeah.
But he does.
And eventually Santa is pinned underneath him and he's grabbing fallen ornaments, everybody's
favorite thing, and smashing them onto his head.
They're not really affecting him. they're too small of ornaments and
then he grabs the star from the top of a christmas tree and jabs it in the guy's eye it's really
nasty it looks like it goes like not into his eye but into the skin of his eye like to the side of
his eye so it's actually like in his skin like between his scalp and his eye it looks it looks bad and we're thinking like that'll
take him out but it doesn't and it seems like it reinvigorates him with anger and he's about to
come for santa like he's so mad and santa's looking around doesn't know what to do sees the plug to
the christmas tree lights plugs it in and it lights up the star electrocuting the man in the brain and his whole head catches on fire
and now he's finally dead.
Oof.
Beautiful, beautiful fight scene.
Mm-hmm.
Wow.
Stunning.
Stunning.
Stunning.
And this guy had a walkie-talkie.
Santa snatches it off of him,
starts trying to change the dial to try to find somewhere to call help, call for help.
And in changing the channels, he finds the lands on the channel of Trudy talking into it, saying like asking for Santa.
We see that she still has the walkie talkie.
And so she's she's in the living room surrounded by all the other people with guns and she's kind
of huddled talking into the walkie-talkie like santa please we need help santa if you're listening
please and of course they're all writing it off as like well she's talking into a fake thing to
santa and they're not necessarily threatened by it and she says says, my name's Trudy Lightstone. We need your help. And he pulls out
his list, his little scroll and unfurls it and sees Trudy Lightstone. Her little name comes up
and says, nice. And all the reasons why she's nice, nice to animals, like helps with chores.
And he's like, okay, Trudy, I'll like okay trudy i'll help you like you're on
my you're on my nice list and then he checks all the rest of the people in the room all the bad
guys and looks in there of course all on the naughty list sure what if they were on the nicest
and he was like well my hand would be interesting and she says what do you do to guys that are on the naughty list and he's like
i give him a lump of coal straight up there and she goes ass and he's like trudy watch out you
don't want to be on the pushing pushing it a bit here you don't want to end up on that naughty list
and i don't know this gag was kind of funny she's like can i say butthole he's like it's borderline that's borderline so stupid so stupid oh but i did laugh it did laugh i've butthole and then she says can i say
anus he says yeah i guess you can say anus okay so he tells her he's gonna help her he's gonna
help her take out all the bad guys and somewhere somewhere in this, I guess they hear that there's another, there is a voice coming back on the
walkie talkie. And I think the bad guys have noticed that two of them haven't returned and
aren't answering the walkie talkie. So then they turn and are like, who is she talking to on the
walkie talkie right now? And it gets tense and they're like pointing their guns. And Jason trying
to protect her is like, nobody, nobody. She like thinks she's talking to santa she thinks she's talking to santa and she's like i am talking
to santa i am talking to santa and he's like no you're not trudy and she's like yes i am and he's
like no you're not because santa isn't real and she's like and everyone looks at Jason like, come on, man. And Trudy in this, uh, starts crying and like runs
away and gets past, past them. And I can't remember really how she like, let her go. Let
her go. She just found out really bad news. Let her go. She needs space right now more than anything.
So she gets away and she hides in the attic and she still has her walkie talkie and she talks to
santa a little bit more through there and this is where he tells her um or we find out that he used
to be a skilled warrior she says how long have you been santa he says it's been about 1100 years now
um and me and mrs claus you know i've been together that whole time and i used to yeah i
used to do really bad things but um now i do good things and she says what if you could use that
power and skill that you had as a warrior to do good to like take out bad guys. And he's like, yeah, now we're talking. Now we're talking.
So then Santa or Mr. Scrooge is calling the on the walkie talkie and Santa answers and like says
he's dead. So now Scrooge knows like there is somebody else here that they need to be worried
about. Santa sneaks back into the house and it looks like he's going to he's going to sneak up
on there's one henchman, a woman named Candy Cane is like patrolling the house and it looks like he's gonna he's gonna sneak up on there's one
henchman a woman named candy cane is like patrolling the halls and it looks like he's about
to sneak up behind her with some tinsel and strangle her but then he like knocks over a little
bell or something and alerts everyone and so he gives away his position and he is ends up being
cornered by three of them scrooge comes in and uh they're
in now again the upstairs living room and so separate from everybody else and this is where
scrooge is like well well well and he reveals his christmas trauma why he hates christmas so much
he used to love christmas until he turned 11 and i actually can't remember what the bad
thing was that happened you know when sometimes you're in a movie and you all of a sudden aren't
paying attention only for like five seconds and it's like oh fuck something just happened yeah
it's like i'm staring at the screen and i'm looking at it but i must have just had a thought
in my head that like overpowered me for momentarily. So I apologize. I don't know.
I can't remember what his actual Christmas trauma is,
but he's earning his Scrooge code name.
And somewhere in here, Santa's listening to his sad story,
his sad tale about how all of his Christmases were bad. And he says, Oh,
Jimmy, I'm so sorry. And candy cane is like,
how did he know your name was Jimmy?
You didn't tell him your name.
And he's like, Sally, you've always been on the naughty list.
Like when you punched your brother on his 11th birthday or something.
And she's like, what the fuck?
And then the other guy in the room, Gingerbread, is he's like, Stephen, you used to be good.
Remember when I got you that bike? Like you
loved that bike. And he's just saying these personal details from their lives that
candy cane and gingerbread are like, is this the real Santa? Scrooge is like, don't be idiots.
And why is it that no matter when that happens in a movie, I love it. I don't care. It's like,
can be the corniest, worst thing in the world. But when like someone is like, I know everything about you.
I am magical. Yeah. I'm like, great salt. Yep. Uh, somewhere in here, I think they,
they eventually start fighting and Santa is able to get away by touching his nose and going up that chimney. And it's while Scrooge's
back is turned. So he doesn't see it. And in the commotion, the other two just kind of half see it,
but they are already a little bit believing. And now they're like, that's the real Santa.
That's the real Santa. And Scrooge is like, no, it's not. He obviously had some sort of pulley system that got him up there.
And downstairs, where the rest of the family is, we see there's one henchman named Krampus.
And Krampus is making them all give Gertrude her presents.
And I don't know. I guess we don't really need to talk about this scene so much, except that in, in this, uh, Jason sees an opportunity to be like, my present was in
the car and I got to go get it. And Bert is like, no, it isn't. You brought it in. Like I see it
right there. Like I'll get it. burt just really little idiot so dumb so dumb
but so he hands gertrude the present from jason and it's a bottle of scotch her favorite scotch
and she's opening the card and he seems very stressed by the fact that she's opening this
card he's like you don't have to open the card don't open the card right now and she opens it
and she's reading it she gets a upset look on her face as she is reading it,
but then composes herself by the end of it and smiles, says, thank you, Jason.
Uh oh.
And folds the card and puts it in her coat.
So we don't know what that was, but something's going on there.
And then Scrooge comes down.
He's pissed off because they lost Santa. Santa's loose again.
And
at this moment, the kill squad
arrives. They look like a
like a, I don't know, SEAL Team 6
type of thing. They're in like their
white camo, you know, like snow camo.
Ooh, snow camo.
And they're all on snowmobiles
and decked out in
machine guns and tech. And they're all on snowmobiles and decked out in uh machine guns and tech and they're looking like
or gertrude is like they're here like you guys are so fucked you guys are about to die
and morgan um is so excited by this that he jumps up and jumps out the window abandoning everybody
to be like they're here to save us like bye and runs and runs out to the kill team kill squad
and they stop and talk to him for a second they're like what's the situation in there
and he explains it to them and then they just shoot him a bunch of times kill him
yeah yeah so kill team is bad yeah they're in on it. They're in cahoots.
And so Scrooge and Gingerbread and Candy Cane walk out to greet them.
And Scrooge says, we have a slight complication.
There's a guy dressed as Santa who's out here somewhere.
And he's been complicating things.
And Candy Cane says, it might also be the real santa and uh we see santa is on the roof
he pulls out his list his scroll looks at it and we sure enough have another like 30 or so naughty
guys on this list all of these new arrivals are naughty they spot him on the roof and start
shooting at him he uh jumps off the roof behind the house and takes cover in a tool shed
and now there's like 30 or 40 men with guns like closing in on him really is feeling like this is the end of the
line for him he's on the walkie-talkie talking to trudy saying i'm i'm sorry i let you down i like i
um i really tried and uh she says if you could have one wish what what would it be like you
can't give up hope we got to like make a wish come true.
What would your wish be?
And he looks down at his wedding ring and he sees, he says, I wish I could see Mrs. Claus
one more time.
And he like takes off the wedding ring to like inspect it lovingly, but drops it and
it rolls across the floor and lands at the base of a sledgehammer and in our viking flashback
we had seen his weapon of choice was a big old hammer sledgehammer thing hell yeah so he is
good at using that to kill people great great so he grabs that he's gearing up for battle gonna go down swinging he pulls a big candy
cane out of his pocket puts it in his mouth uh-huh is he gonna make it sharp everybody did that right
you had to make everybody did that do you ever cut your own tongue on accident doing that maybe
probably i definitely did kind of feels
like there's no other way to eat a candy cane now you gotta make it sharp you gotta make it
sharp and pointy and you gotta like stab yourself with it a little bit a little bit to test how
sharp it gets you have to stack on it for a while and then go like nope could be sharper
also has anyone actually ever eaten like a full candy cane do you know what i
mean like eating an entire candy it's too big this is a this is a super sized one too it's like extra
thick which is gonna come in handy it's gonna be a good weapon but no you could never i used to
love back to school shopping so much that i would tell my mom that i wanted to work at staples when
i grew up because i just loved getting all the things that I needed that I would use every day in class.
I still to this day have nightmares about showing up in class without notebooks or number two
pencils. Really scary stuff. But luckily I wake up and I realize I don't actually need notebooks or
number two pencils anymore. But this fall, there is something that I will be using every day
and would be terrified to be caught without. And that's Raycon's best-selling everyday earbuds.
I've been trying to go on walks every day, and so I need earbuds that I can rely on to listen to all my favorite
podcasts and I know you guys listen to podcasts as well so you know what I'm talking about. I got
my Raycons in carbon black because that's my vibe but they come in other cool colors as well like
forest green and brush violet but my favorite thing about them
is the battery life they stay charged for 32 hours and they have a new quick charge function
so 10 minutes of charging gets you 90 minutes of battery life really freaking convenient for, I don't know, say a long morning walk. You forgot to
charge them and you just need a little bit of juice to listen to one episode of a podcast.
It's only going to take you 10 minutes. It's incredible. So go to buyraycon.com
slash too scary today to get 20 to 40% off site-wide.
That's right.
You'll get up to 40% off everything on Raycon's website
when you go to buyraycon.com slash too scary.
Buyraycon.com slash too scary.
It would be impossible to finish this particular candy cane.
So the kill team busts in and he is ready for them.
And we get a big actiony fight scene set piece.
Is that what I was trying to say?
Set piece is what you were gonna try to say
and he is breaking legs like when you hit someone in the leg with the sledgehammer that leg is
done for absolutely done for and so these are like you know this is the this is the type of
violence where it's just like oh also it's all scored with christmas music of course
so it's like a big holiday tune playing in the background
that would be a good one no they're like cheerier than that they're not even
not even an ounce of the kind of existential dread dread of carol of the bells because some
of those yeah some of those carols are terrifying that's why i like terrifying
i only like the spooky ones
so he is sledgehammering people he pulls out that very sharp candy cane stabs someone through the cheeks with it it goes in one cheek
out the other cheek and there is all sorts of weapons in this tool shed he flips on a wood
chipper and is like tossing people into the wood chipper but again it's like something it's
obviously yes very violent but this tone of violence doesn't feel scary like it's just right yeah it's just
action action and it's almost like all the blood is black type of thing like it doesn't look very
super real i think the kind of violence that is fun to watch like oh how'd they do that that's
cool that looks that looks cool uh-huh and there is one he grabs ice skates
from somewhere and he like puts them on his hands and he's like chopping people with ice skates
and he punches with an ice skate hand someone right in the throat so it like slices through
their neck and pins it against a wall and we see that person like stops like freezes in
place and then the bottom half of the body slides down the wall hot dog style that time gross yep
no thanks and meanwhile this is all going on the main kill team guy i can't remember his name and scrooge are at the vault and the kill team guy
like has something to help open it because he technically works for the family he like had a
little key i don't know but um they're opening the vault and it has been emptied the money is not there oh no so they're curious and they storm into the main room
and they're he's about to kill somebody he's like i'm so mad i just want to start killing people
and bert one good thing he does is he says what if you shoot the only person who knows where it is
and he's like okay that's a
good point if i were him i'd be like okay i'll start with the kids so he he says the only people
that would know would be people that are related by blood so he puts the gun to linda's head and
he's like linda's not gonna know so i can kill her and uh oh somewhere in here. I think they're like trying to torture and tortured the information out of them.
I think this might have happened earlier, but there's a lot of nutcrackers in this room.
And they take Jason and like put his finger in the nutcracker mouth and really clamp it real good.
I don't know if I should even tell.
That's so funny to do that when you have a gun.
It's such a stupid thing.
Yeah, but they have to use the Christmas decor.
Sure, sure.
I mean, they're having fun with it.
This is everything that the Krampus thing was not.
Exactly.
And there's like a really big nutcracker.
And they're like, he's like, do his balls and do his balls.
And then he'll talk. And so there's like do do his balls and do his balls and then he'll talk and
so there's like a sequence of them coming at him and candy cane is like i'm not touching his balls
and krampus is like i'll do it also like what are they gonna have to like have him sit back
lift his legs they drape a ball inside the it would really be it would take a lot it's like a
four-person job yeah it's a four someone's holding his legs up someone's holding his torso down
someone's lifting the penis up and someone's placing a ball in a nutcracker i just want us
to take a minute and really and really think about the logistics
of what that would be.
Because it's very funny.
It doesn't happen.
His balls are safe.
Well, yeah, it'd be too hard to do.
It's too hard.
They're all like, you know what?
That's actually a little too tricky.
We can't quite figure it out.
So they just put the gun to Linda's head
and that makes Jasonason confess he took the
money and that's what the car said and kind of what he was alluding to earlier in his conversation
with we can run away yeah we can get away from all this and like never come back i don't feel
like that's what linda meant no also do you really need all that money couldn't you just bring can
you steal like a very small portion of that money and
you'd be good?
Yeah.
I mean, you would think it does seem awfully greedy.
Yeah.
An undetectable amount.
Yeah.
Perhaps.
So Jason is now taking the bad guys outside to where he hid the money in the nativity
scene.
How much?
Isn't that 300 million dollars like
take a lot of space though yes it's big it's like eight duffel bags okay got it um they're like
hidden within the hay of the nativity scene under the hay and um somewhere in this so So so Santa has come out victorious of that fight where he just killed a bunch of the kill team guys.
And he's spoken to Trudy again on the walkie talkie.
And Trudy tells Santa that she made some Home Alone style booby trap.
She just watched Home Alone. And he's like, OK, stay safe.
Like, I'm coming to you. I'm coming to get you.
And we see Candy Cane and Gingerbread approaching the attic.
It's the ladder has been lowered.
And at the base of the ladder is a board filled with nails pointing up like a whole bunch of nails and then on one of the
rungs of the ladder there's a nail pointing up hate it hate it and gingerbread's kind of laughing
he's like little girl you know for booby traps to be effective they have to be hidden thinking he's
got a real one up on her and he goes to climb up that ladder avoiding the nail obviously but she has sawed in
half the bottom rung so he puts his foot on it and he falls down chin onto the nail oh that's
this sequence i think is was the hardest to watch you know when you have to like
clench your butt cheeks because it's like, ooh.
You know it's bad.
You know it's bad.
I was doing that for the next five minutes, everything that happens in here.
That is a damn good booby trap, though.
It's very good.
And then Candy Cane climbs over him and is trying to get up there and like pokes her head out in into the attic and we see that trudy
has a bunch of bowling balls up there that she is now throwing at them and candy cane is able to
dodge them but they're now smacking oh that ginger gingerbread and he it like he lifts his chin up to like get off because he can't move with that.
So he finally gets it off.
But then gross, gross.
A bowling ball hits him and knocks him back onto that bed of nails, that board filled with nails.
And he gets that right in the butt.
In the butt.
In the butt.
And then he gets back up.
It's a lot of blood.
And there's one nail like still sticking in his butt. And he takes back up it's a lot of blood and there's one nail like still sticking
in his butt and he takes it out to look at it he like holds it in front of his eye like a fucking
idiot like right in front of his head and a bowling ball falls down and knocks it right into his skull
kills him pretty good booby trap yeah this is great damn good booby trap. Yeah, this is great. It's a damn good booby trap.
It's a booby trap.
So now Candy Cane is in there with Trudy and she, we're out of bowling balls now, but she
steps on to a section of super glue.
Trudy has poured super glue all over the floor and she is struggling
and then falls back and then pulls herself back up but it pulls off like her the back of her scalp
basically what the fuck it's a really strong super glue ew and ew ew ew she
take has to take her shoes off to be able to get Trudy.
And so she's like menacingly coming towards Trudy.
And Trudy's now got a little slingshot and she's shooting shit at her.
That's like not super effective because she's lost all of her heavy stuff now.
And Candy Cane is just like enough of this.
Pulls out her gun.
Points it at Trudy. Is about to shoot her. And then bam saved by Santa. Santa's up there.
Santa's was coming to get her. And Trudy does, uh, what I would, I would refer to as a who'd you
a hug, a hug jump. It's a bachelor term. Well,
a game of roses term, um, a really excellent whoju. She jumps, leaps into his arms full.
We would say like a strong mount, ankle, ankle lock. No, she doesn't get ankle lock cause her
legs are too short and he's too big, but it's a, it's a good whojuoo and again i think we get a good ho ho ho he's like oh
and uh he sets her down and he told tells her to cover her eyes and plug her ears and sing
jingle bells as loud as she can because candy cane is still alive and he has to bash her head and so he does just that so now the bad guys have the money and they scrooge orders
sends the order over the um walkie-talkie to kill all the hostages now they've got what they came
for and linda alva and bert are the only ones left in the main room. And only Krampus is in there with them.
And so he gets the order, pulls up his gun.
But Alva pushes him back into the fireplace.
And he doesn't like fall into the fireplace.
But it throws him off for long enough that they are able to grab all of the fire poker tools you know how the
little fire it's like four different things you've got the little shovel you got the little broom
you got the little poker poker is the best one fire poker my weapon of choice
and they each grab one and they start beating the shit out of him And they think that he's dead.
But then, of course, he has one more little like still alive.
And Alva, who has the actual poker, pokes him right through the throat.
Kills him.
Right.
The assortment of weapons in this film.
Basically, any weapon of choice. I feel like it's going to be in here.
Like there's guns, there's knives, sledgehammers, firepokers
Ice skates, wood chippers
Wood chippers
Pretty good selection
Nutcrackers
Nails
And we're going to get some more
There's even more weapons to come
Ornaments
Everything is weapon
The star, Christmas star
That's right
Have we found out what their family business is by the way christmas star that's right uh so now have we have we found
out what their family business is by the way is that revealed do we know what they it's referenced
that she has the money from some sort of oil the money is stolen the money was supposed to be like
government like hush money for some oil company that she stole because it was like illegal for them to be buying in the
first place so they couldn't it's it's never fully explained but they're that's like the only
brief explanation we get so they're in some kind of criminal criminal family organization seems
seems like some stuff is above board and some stuff not so much. And so now Trudy and Santa join the three of them, Linda, Alva and Bert in the living room.
They're all like excited that Santa is there.
They just they knew that someone dressed as Santa was like helping kill these people and like seems to be on their side.
So they're not like freaked out by him which i
feel like maybe would be but they're they're relieved it's like feels like he's here to help
us and so we'll focus on that for now he asks if any of them know how to use a gun alva says she
used to go hunting with her dad so they like they arm her up and we're now going outside to the nativity scene where the rest of the bad guys are
and alva's shooting at them santa's sneaking up on the side and attacking them and uh more good
fights in here i can't i can't remember if there were any good standout moments in these fights but
they win this fight but the three main bad guys or two main bad guys and one
other guy get away with all of the money on their snowmobiles now all of our group is together all
of our good guys are all together and we see a little a little um romantic moment between linda
and jason all of this commotion has maybe made them realize you know life is precious and so they kiss
and is this gonna are they reconnecting is Trudy's Christmas wish going to come true
seems like magic is real magic is real all you have to do is believe all you have to do is believe
so Santa is now chasing Scrooge and other guy and uh and the third guy he knocks off his snowmobile
and that guy like pulls out a grenade and is about to hand it to or like throw it at santa
and santa grabs it out of his hand which is i guess a good move for a grenade is to like
immediately snatch it and so that your finger is on the little pin and he shoves it down the
guy's shirt, the back of his shirt. And it's like, you know, those big uniforms, it's like
heavy stuff. And he can't, he can't reach it. He's trying to reach it, but can't get it. Santa's
running away. But then he says, I got to watch this turns around. We see the guy blow up.
to watch this. Turns around, we see the guy blow up. And so now we know that Scrooge and one other bad guy remain. Santa continues his pursuit and finds Scrooge and they have their little showdown.
Scrooge tricks Santa to hit something on a snowmobile so that he like flies into there.
All his stuff goes everywhere.
And Scrooge picks up his list, his scroll, and opens it.
And his name comes up, Jimmy or whatever his last name is, and says naughty.
And it lists all these reasons.
It'd be fun to pause the movie on the because I couldn't read them all in time.
But right.
All the reasons that
comes up i think one of the reasons on jimmy's list was that he killed his brother oh my god
that's fucked up that's definitely naughty super naughty i'll call that naughty that's so naughty
that's bad what you did to your brother murder is crazy naughty of you too naughty
um and this list kind of tilts the scales for screwed or it's like what pushes scrooge into
now believing like holy shit this is actually santa he also at some point in here finds
or like santa's sack also flies into the air he picks that up and he can see the like
portal so the sack seems somewhat empty but you just reach in a little portal opens and a gift
comes out and so clearly this is mad these are magical items you can't deny it so now he's like
you're the real santa i get to kill s. Like he's so excited because he hates Christmas so much.
He's like, I can kill you.
And I get to end this holiday forever,
which is such a crazy thing to say
because you didn't even think he existed until right now.
So like, obviously it's not going to change the holiday.
Nobody thinks Santa is real.
And the holiday persists.
But he's excited to kill Santa.
He grabs his sack and tosses it in a fire.
Santa screams in anguish.
He's not anguish.
He's sad.
He's upset.
Those are all the kids' gifts.
There's going to be some disappointed kids in the morning.
And now Scrooge is gearing up for a fight and he grabs a pick ax.
It's just also a pretty good weapon.
Yeah.
And he's got on like spiky snowshoes,
which are scary.
They have like spikes in all directions.
I've never seen shoes like that in my life.
It's probably the scariest shoes I've ever seen.
And they fight hand-to-hand combat santa i don't think has his sledgehammer anymore and santa is not faring well in this
fight he gets stabbed with that pickaxe like in the arm and i think in the stomach, like, it's looking bad.
And they're coming up on this chimney.
This is like an abandoned little stone cottage for some reason that they're fighting in. And they're coming up against the chimney.
And Scrooge takes the pickaxe and stabs it through Santa's hand, pinning it to the wall.
And is about to take, he has like a the wall and is about to take,
he has like a regular knife and is about to stab him.
And the only way Santa can stop it is he rips his hand through the knife.
So many movies are doing that lately.
Everyone all of a sudden decided they could split a hand hot dog style and
everyone's doing it.
I hate it. It must not be hot dog style. Cause's doing it i hate it it must not be hot
dog style because we don't see like a fucked up hand afterwards he probably just like it's a clean
hole maybe went up like threw up yeah like pulled his hand up through it so there's like a big hole
in his hand um but it's nasty and he then is like grabs scrooge and Scrooge says something like Christmas ends tonight.
Like some dramatic line like that.
And Santa's like almost embracing him.
And he says, not if you believe.
And he touches his nose because they're right next to a fucking chimney.
And he like sucks Scrooge in the chimney with him.
But Scrooge does.
I mean, yeah, Scrooge does not have these same magical powers.
And so Santa is able to like wedge him immediately, like in a matter of seconds, like drag him through this chimney.
And so Santa appears at the top of the chimney with a bloody
torso gross gross gross gross gross i really laughed though in the theater i really wasn't
expecting that's a very fun move very fun kill i would i'll say like this movie did well just
using all of the elements around like they use the whole buffalo they use the whole buffalo
everything is everything is
incorporated it feels creative in that way i did like that yeah that's probably the i was the only
one laughing in the theater at that part it's just like it was more just from shock uh oh man
it was good it was good it got me good um and got me good. Um, and in the Wikipedia, I was going through the
Wikipedia when I was taking notes and it says he eviscerates Scrooge and eviscerates was hyperlinked.
And I was like, that's interesting. And I clicked, I clicked eviscerates and I didn't know that it means disembowel yeah oh i didn't know that it means it linked to
the article on disembowelment and what a good link were there pictures i don't think so
that's a relief i should add some it's crowd crowd stories to throw some in there i sort of
just equated it my mind to like destroy yes me too like just
completely demolish yeah yeah but i guess it means disembowel which he didn't really
disembowel scrooge he disenskinned him he squeezed he squeezed him real tight though
so maybe those balls came out so tight yeah and like rubbed him yeah he got like chafed he's chafed to death yeah yeah chafed to death we've all been there
what if eviscerated meant chafed to death that was the link i mean no matter what it meant i
would be interested to know your core just absolutely rubbed down rubbed down to death
so gross so santa has this triumphant moment of defeating scrooge leaps down from the chimney and is
immediately shot in the chest oh no the remaining bad guy no don't remember his name santa can't die he's he's been like stabbed a couple times
he's he's now been shot what looks like in a pretty bad spot and he's like falling to his
knees it's looking not good and i mean he must be able to die because he's been seemingly fighting
for his life a lot you know that's true that's 1100 years, you know, it's like no one's killed him in that time.
Yeah.
I guess not.
I mean, think about it.
Most people don't like get murdered.
You know what I mean?
No matter how it's not like the longer you're alive.
I mean, I guess you risk for everything goes up.
But, you know, it's not an inevitability that at some point someone would murder you.
And I feel like he's living a lot of the time at the North Pole.
Yeah, he only comes out one day a year to be around people.
Yeah, but he's also breaking into people's houses in the middle of the night.
I feel like that also probably increases your chances of being murdered.
That is true.
That is a whiskey one day a year to do for a thousand years.
Yeah, that's a good point.
Really good point.
That's a good point.
Really good point.
And right after this man shoots Santa, Gertrude appears and shoots this man in the head in a very Matrix dodge this type of moment.
Now the rest of the family is all running out to this part of the woods and they're all back together.
Trudy is crying.
See Santa runs to like hug him.
It's like Santa, Santa. And Santa's being very sweet with her. Like we did it, Trudy. They're all, they're all gone. Like you're going to be safe. Oh no. And I just feel like as a parent,
wouldn't you be so weirded out right at this moment? Like who is this man embracing my daughter when did you build
a relationship with her at one point yeah yeah what the fuck is going on this man just killed
like 30 to 40 men and is now having some sort of secret relationship with my daughter yeah they
seem not concerned at all in a way that i've found not realistic
but it's it's good that they're not concerned because there is actually nothing to be concerned
about he's the real santa and he's a good guy he's a good guy exactly exactly that's correct
and he he is dying he is for sure dying and wow he's he tells to he tells them he feels cold for the first time in more than a thousand years.
And it's like snowing. It's very cold out.
And he Trudy's crying like we got to keep him warm.
We got to keep him warm. And they say there's nothing to burn.
There's no all of the wood is wet out here.
And what's Jason? Jason, Jason,
Jason's like,
I have an idea.
Goes and grabs the fucking duffel bag.
No.
Wait,
money.
And starts lighting that money on fire.
And Alva's out here.
And this is where I feel like these kinds of moments is where Edie
Patterson really shines or she's just like,
you fucking kidding me right now.
Just to save Santa. What the fuck she's like he's basically dead already anyways come on this is crazy and it is crazy i think it's also crazy to be clear it's definitely crazy and so they
light all the money on fire not all of it one duffel bags worth okay and i think there's like you know duffel bags several million dollars tens of millions yeah and so um they light it and
he dies oh my god
and alva is so mad like well i'm happy like we just burned like yeah 10 million dollars for his
final moments right there and trudy's crying like he can't die he can't die like if we all believe
in him he won't die which is an interesting conclusion to arrive at but guess what it
fucking works oh my god they go around one at a time and say i believe i believe in santa
wait isn't that what tinkerbell demands too is that tinkerbell like i believe in fairies or
something like that yeah something like that yes and it does i think track that santa's magic
works stronger the more belief in him people have he's like isn't that what happens in the santa claus
his sled his sleigh only works when everybody believes this is what i'm saying all christmas
movies are the same that's literally they're all this it's also so funny to be like i believe in
the thing right in front of me literally seeing yeah it's like yeah yeah duh what are you talking about what if someone's like
i don't know i don't buy it it's literally here yeah so you just need them he had verbal
confirmation we should all communicate our feelings true he's able to come back from the dead. Okay. Great. Great. They all embrace a joyful moment.
No questions of how,
how were you talking to my daughter?
What did you guys talk about?
It's all like,
what did you guys talk about?
It's all just very positive.
And we see,
you know,
Linda and Jason holding each other now
to and Trudy, like a happy family reunited her Christmas wish came true. And, uh, then the,
the reindeer and the sled come down from the sky land in the snow next to them he's excited to see his reindeer he sees in the back of the sled sleigh
which one the sleigh sleigh sleigh sled is smaller yeah sled is for sledding
exactly sleigh is for santa okay great great great and in the sleigh is a new uh gift sack and a note from mrs claus saying thought you might need your
your backup sack and he's delighted to see this oh mrs claus she knows me so well i love her so
much and i'm going to get to see her again just like my wish and he says goodbye to everyone and they all hug and he rides off into the night he's got
to finish delivering presents it is still what a night the middle of the night on christmas eve
did the magic heal his wounds yeah i guess so he's all better oh my god There is like a running gag of Him just being like oh yeah it's Christmas magic
Like I don't know how it works
Yeah
Fair enough
That's the end of the movie
Oh wow
Merry Christmas
That was cute
That was a heartwarming movie.
I liked it.
I had a good time. I think it's pretty fun.
David Harbour is a great Santa.
It's ridiculous.
Yeah, that's super fun. Honestly, it's a lot more
Christmas spirit-y than I
would have thought.
Same. It's like not a horror movie.
It's kind of wholesome.
It's a happy, wholesome movie.
Yes, 100%. I would not call it a horror movie it's a it's kind of a happy wholesome movie yes a hundred percent i
would not call it a horror movie but it is like an action christmas movie great hell yeah i loved it
die hard you've got some competition i guess there's a lot of die hard 2 references in this
because i don't remember this but john leguizamo is also in die hard 2 oh i haven't seen die hard
2 me either really no just the original you know what i think i have seen it i think i have seen it this but John Leguizamo is also in Die Hard 2. Oh I haven't seen Die Hard 2. Me either. Really?
No. Just the original. Should I see it? You know what I think I have seen it. I think I have seen it.
Should I watch it tonight? Yes. Wait Emily you would love it because you love action movies.
They're all Christmassy right? Yes I think so. I don't know. I mean I love Die Hard.
I get two and three mixed up. Have you seen Die Hard with a Vengeance?
No, I've only seen Die Hard.
That's the one with Samuel L. Jackson, right?
I don't know.
I've only seen Die Hard.
Die Hard with a Vengeance.
There's so many Die Hards.
I think I've seen all of them, including the recent ones.
Yeah, Emily, you have all those to add to your list.
Yeah, you got to do it.
Okay.
That's important.
That's really important.
Oh, awesome.
Hell yeah. So you guys are are gonna watch this movie Definitely not
A new holiday favorite
I'm happy that I know about it
It sounds like a good old family
Family friendly movie
I think once it's on streaming if I see it like next year
On streaming around Christmas time
I might throw it on
Yeah I bet it will be on streaming next year on Christmas time
I think I'll watch it but
I really don't like that booby trap stuff
I don't even like it in Home Alone
The booby trap stuff was tough
I've never seen Home Alone and it made me
I think I don't want to see it
You just got on about Die Hard 2
And you've never seen Home Alone
There's I feel like a lot of movies I've never seen
Well obviously that's true for everybody but I haven't seen like I mean you hate Christmas movies yeah I
don't like Christmas movies and I feel like that era of movies of like family movies I was like
not watching family movies at that time sure but Home Alone is a classic. We're going to have to do Home Alone. You should watch Home Alone tonight and I'll watch Die Hard 2. Yeah.
Okay. Okay. Cool!
Okay. But I'm like, the booby trap
stuff, I've seen the part where
he gets electrocuted and you see his skull,
his skeleton. Yeah, that part's fun.
The booby, there's like a
nail part, obviously, but
like, you know,
it's not terrible. Okay.
You can do it.
Okay.
Great.
Oh, wow.
You did a really good job recapping that when you just saw it in the theater.
I'm like very impressed.
I'm very impressed.
As always.
When I see action like scenes in a movie, they just wash over me.
I mean, I cannot tell you like a breakdown.
It is harder to recap.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's nice that there's inventive things happening in
the fights because usually it's like they just kind of fight and one person has the upper hand
and then this person wins but it's like there's enough interesting kills in the fights that it
made it a little easier to be like well he decapitates someone with an ice skate i do
remember that yeah sure skates were fun ice skates are a weapon and they are terrifying
so scared going ice skating because i'm just like i'm gonna fall and kill myself remember that yeah sure skates were fun ice skates are a weapon and they are terrifying they're scary
i'm so scared going ice skating because i i'm just like i'm gonna fall and kill myself
i'm gonna fall onto the bottom of my foot
that's what it feels like i am constantly falling onto the bottom of my foot and this
would be the worst time to land face down on the bottom of your foot.
I'm always doing that.
So it's just really scary to go ice skating.
This is really scary.
Um,
okay.
Listeners,
we love you so much.
Wow.
Happy new year.
Merry Christmas.
Happy holidays.
Happy Henley's birthday. Happy Henley's birthday henley's birthday thanks so much and we'll freaking talk to you in 2023 yes oh my goodness we'll be back our
first episode back is going to be megan so get excited oh my god i'm so excited about starting
the freaking year off right hell yes Can't wait Oh was there voices
There's not really voices
Should we just
Try to fit in a ho-ho
Yeah try to sneak it in
Sneak it in
From all of us here
To ho-ho
To ho-ho
To ho-ho
To ho-ho
You guys snuck it in
Nobody saw it It was sneaky as hell I snuck it in.
Nobody saw it.
That was sneaky as hell.
From all of us here at Too Scary.
Didn't watch.
Goodbye.
I got two.
Did you catch them?
Did you see where?
They went right past me.
Killed it. Nailed it.
Sneaky as hell
thank you so much
for listening to another
episode of
too scary
didn't watch
if you like the show
please subscribe
wherever you get
your podcasts
and give us a rating
a review on
apple podcasts
or spotify
you can follow us
on social media
at tscw podcast
on instagram
and twitter
and if one episode a week just is not enough for you,
head on over to patreon.com slash TSDW podcast to become a patron and receive
all sorts of extra goodies from us,
including bonus episodes,
trailer reactions,
and more.
And no matter what,
we will see you right here next week for another episode we love you so much bye
that was a hate gum podcast