Too Scary; Didn't Watch - WILLY‘S WONDERLAND with Spooko
Episode Date: December 22, 2021Energy drinks, pinball machines, and murderous animatronic monsters - we're recapping Willy's Wonderland! This week is a crossover episode with our friends Peach & Shag at Spooko. Join us... as we discuss all the reasons to cast Nicolas Cage in your films.Willy's Wonderland is streaming on Hulu. Follow the show: @TSDWpodcast on Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram. Check out our Patreon for bonus episodes and additional content! Rate Too Scary; Didn’t Watch 5 Stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Emily, Henley, and Sammy. Advertise on Too Scary; Didn't Watch via Gumball.fm See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is Emily, Henley, and Sammy, and you're listening to Too Scary, Didn't Watch.
Hi everyone, welcome to Too Spooko, Didn't Watch, a Too Scary, Didn't Watch, Spooko crossover.
You've seen it before before you love to see
it here we are we love to do it i'm emily hi i'm sammy also hi not hi marijuana hi right correct
hello i'm peach i'm high on anxiety and it being the middle of a fairly stressful day at a fairly stressful time of year
that's good
and I am Shag, Peach's caring friend
who is well aware that
all of his jokes about his anxiety hide
a true anxiety that's hiding underneath
so we're going to do the best to make this
a nice, easy, calming place
this whole episode is a safe
space for you Peach and a calming place
for you today
horror films are calming it's the genre for it yeah that's what we're that is what we're here for
now can we get an update team hen henley um the third of the triple threat uh of two scary didn't
watch uh has again avoided coming and meeting shag and i we've never met henley so
does henley exist oh my god this is a horror movie now it's like we replay the whole podcast
in our minds and she's never been there i can't believe it's fight club and henley
that's such a twist that's such a big twist oh you guys did high tension last week didn't you
or the week before i've forgotten forgotten. We did, yeah.
Okay, so you've been Fight Clubbed.
We've been Fight Clubbed.
But also, how do you feel about that twist?
Because it's kind of dumb, I think.
I really didn't see it coming.
It really surprised me.
It's kind of, I would say it's like kind of homophobic.
And that was my only qualm with it.
It was like, hmm, so the lesbian is just driven into her rage.
But I had some fun.
I mean, I thought it was, I don't know.
Tense?
Yes, it was tense. High tension, for sure. High tension, for sure. I don't know. Tense? No, sorry.
Yes, it was tense.
High tension for sure.
High tension for sure.
Last week we covered Titan or Titane,
which has since been named the most extreme film of 2021. There is definitely a Titane crossover later on in the synopsis of today's film,
which I'm really excited to get to at some point.
Oh, my God.
Well, that's exciting.
It's a monster car teenager who we meet.
Yeah, it's good.
But, look, the one thing I did before we get to today's film,
which I've got to say I absolutely loved and I'm so keen to hear
what your take on it was, but I have to ask before that
because this is not.
Hopefully you're interested to hear from your good friend of 25 years and podcast pitch because i'm looking out for your
welfare i'm always keen to hear what you're thinking whenever you're willing to open up
let us know but look i've got i've got to ask because this is not a thing in my australian
upbringing but it's something i've seen in American films and TV shows since I was a
kid. The concept of Chuck E. Cheese. I was going to ask you guys this because yes, this is obviously
a horror movie based on Chuck E. Cheese. And I was wondering if there was an Australian equivalent.
It sounds like there is not. What even is it? It makes no sense to me. It's like an arcade slash like pizza place.
It's like basically designed for kids' birthday parties.
Like it's just like they have a lot of games and like I haven't been to one in the 20 something years.
But it's like bad pizza and a bunch of games and like youth group kids their birthday parties they
are basically right sammy and yes and animatronic things like animatronic things which i'm guessing
you're saying because it will play chucky cheese is a rat chucky chucky cheese is a rat yeah a rat
named chuck middle initial e last name cheese i love that they have the formality to have his middle
initial but they're using his nickname of chuck he's obviously charles you need the e for sure
the upscale one it sounds like an awful place to go i never want to go there that sounds like
the fucking worst i can't imagine it was thriving during the pandemic actually that's a really good point like can you get like so many greasy children's fingers on the
video games can you also like can you uber eats like surely the experience is to go there right
or do people just like love the food from that what a question i mean people uber eats from like
mcdonald's and stuff so i feel like maybe now i need to look this up because i i just remember
there being food there because i think there's food there just because there has to be because kids just spent like a day there.
But I don't know where it comes from or if there's a kitchen on site.
Like, I don't know.
I can't imagine wanting to order food from there.
I mean, look.
Got a real hankering for some Chuck E. Cheese.
I think it's funny what you just said, Emma, as well,
because it's like I remember when I was young,
parties going forever.
Now that I'm a parent, after like half an hour,
the kids are like, I'm bored.
Like, what?
Where are we going to do it?
They last for like an hour and a half max.
And that's with people arriving late.
Any party longer than two hours is a huge faux pas for other parents.
You're like.
It's rude. It're like, I can see what it is.
It's rude.
It seems like it's rude.
Unless it was a Chuck E. Cheese or the grown-up version,
which I presume is a sports bar.
All right.
Well, look, today's film is, I guess, an indie horror film that has both been reviewed,
like lots of mixed reviews.
Lots of people hate this film. A lot of people really like it i've got to say i loved it it's set in a sort of chucky cheese but
like a movie fake version of chucky cheese uh i imagine peach like legally i'm not allowed to just
set my film in chucky cheese because right or am i a really interesting question right so like
one area of law relevant to this is
okay and i'll take less than a minute i promise like it's trademark law right so
can you use the mcdonald's m in your cartoon or to be an edgy teen with a t-shirt that says like
muck shit or like muck shell out or whatever and the answer to that according to australian and most international trademark law
um pursuant to a um a convention in i think the 19th century that the u.s i don't think signed up
to basically that's okay you can use that trademark in a weird way but you can't use it as a badge of
origin so you can't go and sell fast food with someone else's brand is this called parody law
or something like
that because nathan for you i feel like made dumb starbucks dumb starbucks and that was protected
under something like maybe like what you're describing yeah yeah so so the parody is a
defense to a number of things in australia including defamation where you tell a lie
where you can like yeah defo laws in the U.S. are scary.
But, yeah, parody could well be a defense to it.
But basically we should probably make up our own fictional restaurant
for the too spook I didn't watch studios across.
Okay.
Just to be safe.
Charles Edward Cheese.
That is our pick.
Edward Charles, just to be safe.
Edward Charles. Edward Charles. to be safe Edward Charles
Edward Charles
um
mozzarella
um
you can order
you can order delivery
from Chuck E. Cheese
by the way
and they have
wow
oh my gosh
how long does it take
I started going through
the process
and I had to like
put in my name
and stuff
I was like nah
fuck it
but they have
blue raspberry churros.
So, yum.
Okay, so first of all, number one, raspberry's not blue.
No.
Is that a thing in Australia?
That's a thing here is there's blue raspberry as a flavor.
I don't know why, but it is a flavor.
What does that even mean?
Does it taste like?
Like blueberries against blueberry can be a flavor.
Right, exactly.
No, but it's blue raspberry and it's pretty common.
Honestly, it's quite common.
It's really common.
That's so weird.
Peach, that's a really good point.
It's like having, this is lemon orange flavor.
It's orange flavor, but it's a lemon version of orange.
I thought Americans loved blueberries.
I thought you guys were about your blueberries.
If there's one thing I know about America, it's a passion for blueberries.
We love our blueberries.
But what we love even more are our blue raspberries.
That's right.
Okay, so this film is set in a fictional Chuck E. Cheese called
Willy's Wonderland.
It's called Willy's Wonderland.
Em, I'm dying to know what you thought of this film.
Me?
Sammy watched it.
I have not watched it.
Oh, sorry.
Oh.
Why would Em have watched it?
Em's watching stuff.
Em watched The Conjuring.
Emily could definitely handle this one.
I'll say that.
There were parts where I was like, would we call this a horror movie?
It's like a comedy.
It's very funny.
I mean, it's Nicolas Cage.
Yeah, but he could do Skit.
He did Mandy, which I definitely wouldn't watch.
That's true.
It's so good.
You're really missing out.
I'm so, yeah, I am. And hilar and hilariously i mixed that is the biggest faux pas it's been a while since we
did a two-spot go to watch it's like having a children's it's like having a children's birthday
party for five hours shag you really you really cooked the ballpark on this one but you fell out
of the ballpark you really blue razzed it but it definitely does follow in the lineage that nicholas cage is doing in this weird career
revival at what point in the last couple of years did you realize that nicholas cage is actually
amazing um i have been on the nicholas cage train for a real long time he's a huge fan i've been him
for halloween twice i i love him a lot there i don't think Sammy's a huge fan. I've been him for Halloween twice. I love him
a lot. I don't think there
was a time for me where I thought he
wasn't amazing, to be honest with you.
Is Jared Leto going to go down the same way
of actor initially respected? No.
And then goes down in the dumps
and then he might be redeemed? We can keep him in the dumps.
We can keep him in the dumps. We'll keep him in the dumps,
yeah. But don't you think, like I
understand you've been on the train for a while,
but there was definitely, like, there was a point in, like, the 90s
where he was probably arguably the most revered actor in the world.
Near his Oscar time, sure.
Yeah, you know, leaving Las Vegas era.
Then I think meme era, maybe Ghost Rider era.
Ghost Rider was tough.
Ghost Rider and National Treasure treasure he did those national treasure
yeah i feel like that was a maybe a low point in his respect i guess i'm like
not equipped to answer this question because like that's not a low point for me i fucking love ghost
rider honestly gone in 60 seconds like i love that shit so but he sort of became a character of himself like
almost like in this like if you had a graph and you had two conflicting lines one of them is nick
cage's respect going down as matthew mcconaughey's respect goes up yeah like it's almost like they
swapped places in hollywood but now with these horror films so mandy as you mentioned color out
of space which is so, so good.
Oh, right.
And so, so scary.
Even though it's a color, the bad guy's a color.
Like, how good is that?
Yeah, still a bit gross.
You can trademark a color.
So perhaps we could go into that as part of the fun.
Okay.
Good to know.
But this is very much like at least borrows many tropes and many sort of, I guess, mechanics from a horror film to create something that's very 2021, I think.
Yeah, it's true.
There were points in it at which I was like, okay, this is a horror movie.
And I'll call him out when we get to him because there were a few times that made me laugh.
Okay.
But Sammy, what did you think
of it i liked it i just watched it a couple hours ago i had therapy this afternoon and went straight
from therapy into willie's wonderland self-care plus a bit of self-care double
it's a great little trajectory yeah really really great um i liked it a lot. I think it was super fun,
and I would say that probably anybody could handle it.
But do you disagree with that statement?
I think there's a couple of moments.
There's a couple of very scary moments.
They don't last for long,
but I think there's a couple of moments of an animatronic figure moving
when it shouldn't, which I find quite scary.
That's true.
It's a little creepy.
Sounds like a Doctor Who episode level of scary, it sounds sounds well yes except for the fact that there's also a couple
of moments of like pretty like it's jokey gore but it's gore yeah okay okay well hey i think
peach and i will be yes that's right we'll be fine so today on the latest edition of Two Spook I Didn't Watch
We are watching Willy's Wonderland
Willy's Wonderland
Let's go find that motherfucking trailer
Welcome to Willy's Wonderland
Spend the night cleaning Willy's Wonderland
And I will pay to have your car fixed
Deal?
You are officially on staff.
Let's get the hell out of here.
I can't stand to hear a grown man scream.
This place has a dark history.
I know the bullshit story they told you.
It's a lie.
You're here to be a human sacrifice.
Have you been listening to a word I've been saying?
He's gonna die in here, but he won't listen to me.
It's your birthday
and we want you to come home.
The machine's got out.
Nobody is safe.
Put your balls on, Evan.
We're going to Willie's.
He's not trapped in here with them.
They're trapped in here with him it's birthday time i enjoy a man a few words Sammy, I don't know, man. I saw some horror there, personally, so.
I don't know what it is.
I was like, this is just like any other Nicolas Cage movie.
Wow, okay, okay.
You know how in Transformers they were able to show extreme violence
and massive gore to children because they were all machines?
And they were like, I'm going to rip Optimus Prime's throat out
because it's all just pipes and stuff.
And then like all this oil and stuff would pour out.
I hugely got that vibe of like,
we're going to make this the goriest shit ever.
But it's, you know, machines that are bleeding.
And also, Sammy, can you tell us more about Nicolas Cage's hair?
I imagine it's gone through stages and this is one such stage.
Well, you know, when I was him twice for Halloween,
I unfortunately threw out my wig in the middle of those two costumes.
So I had to buy the same wig twice.
I actually used the same one for both and it was just a short brown haired wig.
But his facial hair in this one is sculpted in such a straight line
that there's a shot of him where he looks also like animatronic like he looks fake it looks
like almost like painted on his face yeah at least in that trailer it's like very precise
very precise the robert the robert downey jr effect i get it yeah yeah well i mean a few
facts about this film it was was made for $5 million.
Like, I love being able to chat to people who actually work in the film industry and understand what any of these numbers mean.
It feels like not a lot for a major film, but maybe it's not a terrible budget.
It's, like, low budget, I would still say.
Yeah.
But, you know, I bet most of that went to Nick i was gonna say yeah it's usually like a lot of
the budget goes to your big actors and so if he's the only like big person in it that could be one
of the reasons why the budget wasn't as high would you try to pay him creatively if you were like
working a film like this like and what if you know would someone say to you hey again we can't pay
you but we'll give you five percent of the of the take of the takings one you know once we get past a certain number or people have done that before um when
we've done some trivia of like actors or directors saying like just give me a percentage gregory peck
i think that did that on the omen and made so much money so much money but for the most part
you wouldn't make money like i think if you did that on this movie you wouldn't because this movie didn't come out in theaters so okay because that was always
50 cents advice that we had to cover of like don't don't like don't accept cash to get points
so you always want points apparently i mean his main but his main advice was go ahead switch your
style up and if they hate then let them hate and watch the money pile up which
is actually like really good advice it's like keep keep evolving and people will hate on it but you'll
keep making money which is great but so no the reason why i bring up the budget is because you
talk about nicholas cage looking like an animatronic figure there are eight separate animatronic
figures in this and the budget definitely didn't go to them most of them are people in costumes
only one of them is like a full sort of puppet paper mache thing.
One of them, the girl who we'll talk about soon, Sarah Siren,
is literally just a woman with a mask on who does like a robot walk
and goes like, I am a animatronic.
There are parts of it that are very, very cheap.
Interesting.
That's very funny.
So another interesting thing I think about this is the Nicolas Cage part about this.
Like, you know, I like that initially we think, oh, everything will be done to like keep him on side.
But actually what happened was the writer and the director.
So there's Kevin Lewis and Geo Parsons.
Geo Parsons was the writer.
He wrote this film.
Like he wanted to do an intentionally sort of cheap film because
he like this was the first film didn't you know knew there wouldn't be much of a budget
so you know set it all in one place was like oh well a chucky cheese sort of place would be awesome
because that's a really good place to have like a scary moment hence why the whole thing is set in
here so there's a lot of plot decisions that make us stay most of the film in this location. But really, it's financial decision. Should we go to another location?
Oh, no.
No, we'll stay.
But the point is getting us here.
This is the best location.
But when they knew someone who knew someone who knew Nicolas Cage,
apparently they sent the script to him on like a Friday
and they anxiously awaited for like two days waiting to hear.
And they heard from his agent, I think on the Monday being like Nick's in.
And not only in, he became an advocate for the film.
Because obviously once they got him, they were able to get some funding.
But the funders came in and tried to change elements of the film.
Like, for example, you'll find out that he doesn't speak a single word in this film.
They were like, that doesn't make any sense.
And Nicolas Cage the whole time was like, I'm adamant. i'm just doing the director and the writer's vision or we're
not doing it at all which i actually think is why this film is quite unique and pretty cool
because it it remains like i'm not a big believer in auteurs like i'm a big believer that more lots
of people come together and make a good thing rather than one person but i do like the fact
that they stayed really true to the director and the writer's
vision through to nick cage's support yeah man added to the list of reasons to love nick cage
what are what other things are on the list to love nick it's just all of his great movies
and how easy he is to dress up as for hallow Is he like a Keanu Reeves in real life?
Does he like just secretly give money to people and funds hospitals and things?
I doubt it.
No, I think he's pretty weird.
I doubt it.
Yeah, I think he's like a pretty weird actor guy.
He's gone bankrupt a few times.
He bought an island that one time.
He's wild.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't think you'd want to like hang out with him
or anything peach on a future episode and i'm sure that there's lots of like really
insufferable films that explain this but one day you need to explain to me how someone rich can go
bankrupt multiple times and stay rich i sort of barely i barely get it and 50 does actually go into it in his book actually okay so willie's wonderland starts with a cold open of a what looks like a cr tv like an old
school like box tv playing a commercial for this place willie wonder willie's wonderland we see
lots of animatronic puppets um the soundtrack
is very like we're so happy and that that theme song being used as like a scary thing
keeps popping up all the way through um we then see we're in somewhere dark it's poorly lit there's
a man and a woman both are wearing bloody willy's Wonderland t-shirts They're being chased by unseen enemies
He dies
He's pulled away from somewhere
She is left standing
She looks around and then smiles
When she notices that a young girl
Is hidden in a storeroom
But she's safe and hasn't been seen
And so she smiles before she's killed as well
We cut to that same TV
Playing the commercial
and there's a big splash of blood over it okay also it's like when she's being pulled around
it's almost as if it's by an invisible force like the way that this is filmed
it's it's it's over the top and like funny but it's it's but it is scary i guess it's like because you just have
no idea what the fuck it is we don't you don't get a good look at anything in that opening but
i mean don't you think it's funny that they do they they work so hard to hide that in the opening
when if you've even seen the poster you know it's like i don't know what this is gonna be right okay
so now we're in a fast car with an unseen driver hooning really fast down country roads.
How many seconds was the car going in, would you say?
But it's that sort of car.
It's a Dodge Charger, I guess.
That sounds right.
That's in the ballpark.
There we go.
I think I used it that time.
He really used it well.
That's good.
We noticed there's a quick cut to dog tags on the windshield,
which is pretty much all the backstory we get for Nicolas Cage's character,
I think.
Hell yeah.
All of a sudden, the two front tires blow and the car comes
to a screeching halt in the middle of nowhere.
He gets out of the car, boots first.
We still don't see him.
We only really see his feet and his hands.
He finds some, some like long spikes so he picks them up puts them into the trunk of his car next to a whole bunch of cans like what i initially assumed were beer cans and later on we
find out what they were yeah but then he pulls a can out from the boot while it's closed and then
edgar wright style he drinks this i've got to ask
this because you're an editor do you love or do you hate that edgar wright quick cut montage thing
yeah i love it but it's um i feel like that's all directing like an editor can't just like
create that you know like that has to be done in the directing phase and so i i love edgar
wright movies for that reason because he's a really good editor's director i think doesn't
just give you more work to do i'd be like hey you got like 400 shots you've got to get in the next
two seconds yeah but they're so intentional so it's like not doing a lot of guesswork you know
what you're selecting yeah we then finally see nick cage is the driver again it's like not doing a lot of guesswork. You know what you're selecting. Yeah. We then finally see Nick Cage is the driver.
Again, it's weird that they hide these things because it's like it's clear.
We can tell from his hands.
We know.
You can tell from his hands.
Do you think Nick Cage has very noticeable hands?
No, just like the second any part of him is on screen.
I can sense it.
It's charged with a very specific energy.
That's right.
So he gets out.
He's wearing a very sort of mid-90s Vans Warped Tour sort of outfit.
He's got wraparound sunglasses,
and he's wearing one of those leather jackets with the stripes down the side,
which was super popular again late 90s early
noughties which i don't know again if it gives him some backstory or not who knows sounds like
my chemical romance kind of is where my head's at yes yes he's but not not jared way he's like
the bassist for my chemical romance or something so he waits and waits for the tow truck and you
know there's there is i there is a lot of bunny ears editing in this film or, like, camera tricks.
Like, there's a, what do you call it when it's, like,
time passes really quickly?
Oh, time lapse.
There's a time lapse of him waiting, holding his can,
to show that time passes while he waits for the tow truck.
It's a good way to show that.
A clock, like, showing two different shots of a clock at different times.
Eventually, this tow truck comes.
The tow truck's driver, Jed, talks to Nick, who, again, remains silent.
He just sits there while people talk at him.
That's a thing.
It's a motif that happens in this film quite a bit.
Jed is the tow truck driver who claims local kids stole the spikes
from the sheriff a month ago, and clearly that's just what happened, which is a weird thing for the tow truck driver who claims local kids stole the spikes from the sheriff a month ago and clearly
that's just what happened which is a weird thing for the tow truck driver to know right weird thing
for those kids to do too just steal some spikes put them down somewhere else and then not be there
when it's like this is gonna be the best prank ever i guess all right so we then cut to teenage girl live hawthorne who's pouring gasoline outside willie's
wonderland uh live hawthorne now there's more than nick cage there's some interesting people
in this so this is played by an actor called emily toster who was in like i saw one
or two episodes in it was in the party of five reboot okay so if i don't know if that if that's
a show that anybody's mourning the loss of because it was cut early and this is where she's gone
she's here now this is where you get the energy yeah okay i liked her i feel like her voice didn't match her face for me
and I like don't
get that feeling very often
but I don't know just kind of like as I was watching her speak
I was like this feels like not right
that happens in films doesn't it like in
the James Bond film like Goldfinger
they hired a guy who couldn't speak English
and so he's like
nah don't worry just move your mouth and we'll get someone
to come and do it for you.
That's the easiest possible way to do this for sure.
And like in the 60s, everyone is watching like movies are like,
this is magic.
I'm not going to notice these things.
There's this train that's coming right for me.
Watch out, James, they're behind you.
Yeah.
All right.
So, all right.
Okay.
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So she's pouring gasoline outside Willy's Wonderland. She lights a lighter,
but then we hear the woo woo. You know how like, they-
That KRS-One song. Yes, it comes on. Yeah. They like tap the siren, but don't put it on. So it's like, woo, woo. You know how like they- That KRS-One song.
Yes, it comes on.
Yeah, they like tap the siren, but don't put it on.
So, it's like, woo, woo.
Also, in that like J Balvin and Skrillex song, Indigeto,
where it's like party in the ghetto.
Woo, woo.
It's that bit as well.
And she turns around and it's Skrillex.
And it's Skrillex.
Who also, I'm a big fan of Skrillex for staying true to his, like,
emo style.
Like, there's never been a Skrillex glow up.
He still has long black dyed hair and wears, like, eyeliner.
Good for him.
Stay true.
So Sheriff Eloise gets out of the truck.
So this is the third person who you've heard of.
Beth Grant.
Does the name Beth Grant mean anything to you guys? The character in Little Women, maybe?
There's a Beth, for sure.
There's a Beth, but I don't think Grant is their last name.
It did sound familiar to me, and I had to look her up. She also
looked familiar to me, but now I can't remember why that is.
Sorry, their last name in Little Women is Marsh, so that was going to bother me.
So Beth Grant, as opposed to Beth Marsh marsh is not one of the little women but she is i don't know if you remember donnie darko and there was that one lady in town who
was basically like think of sparkle motion you've got to do it for sparkle motion yeah yeah she's
for sure character actor she's in speed also okay yeah okay. She's in Speed also. Okay. Yeah. Okay. And she's in Teenage Bounty Hunters,
a show created by our friend Kathleen Jordan.
Sick.
Well done, Kathleen.
She only touches gold this one.
Only touches gold.
Anyway, so she's the sheriff.
She's like Goldfinger.
Sorry, sorry.
She handcuffs Liv and takes her back to the trailer
Takes her back to a trailer park
Where they're met by the tow truck
Now at this point, and this happens a couple of times in the film
Liv, the teenage girl
Who's handcuffed, and Nicolas Cage's character
Share like a really long
Intense look, it's not a romantic look
It's a like, it's a weird
Knowing look
I don't know how you'd describe it
Is that like
They make a big deal out of it it's a weird knowing look i don't know how you describe it is that like it it's it's they they
make a big deal out it's just yeah like long dramatic eye contact father and daughter well
let's let's let's see what's happening so so the sheriff takes live into the trailer that they
stopped out of explain she's locking her in for the night but will be back in the morning and then handcuffs her
to the heater. Jed
then, the tow truck driver, takes Nick and his
car to a spooky looking car yard.
On the notice board, we
see a shitload of missing persons
posters. Jed fixes
the car, says it will cost him a thousand
dollars, but plot twist,
doesn't accept card when Nicolas Cage's
character offers his credit card
and the town apparently has no internet so atm machines don't work
but if he's willing to work it off he might know someone but then how does any credit card
transaction work how does anybody buy anything well you don't have the, like, you need an internet connection, don't you?
I think you do.
Like, it's not the ka-chook, ka-chook style.
Right, but even then you'd need to input it somewhere.
That wouldn't just make money go somewhere.
You need internet.
Anyway, that's my only problem with this arrangement.
It's otherwise perfect.
Yeah, otherwise it makes sense.
So Jed takes Nicolas Cage's character to willie's wonderland where the owner tex mackadoo meets them now tex mackadoo
is exactly the character that that name would describe yeah you don't need to know anything
else we're naming our restaurant oh man i already want to go there okay so for some maccabee now he explains and now what i love
about this film is people just talk to nicholas cage's character he's not allowed to speak because
that's the whole point of his character so he just has to act so when people talk to him he has to
act like how like how would you describe that acting, Sammy? Ooh.
Silent?
Silent is definitely a word I would use.
It's like, it's just intense.
He just looks intense.
He just slowly moves and looks at people.
It's intimidating, I guess.
And yeah, and people around him are like,
I love a man of a few words and blah blah blah and i'll
just keep talking do do do do do and okay like that's your thing huh okay we'll keep saying the
plot not weird to me he's listening or he's ignoring he's i don't know actually somewhere
in between sometimes it feels a little bit like he doesn't care, but he's hearing you.
He's hearing you.
Yeah, he's hearing you, but like, that's exactly right.
He's hearing you, but often he sort of doesn't care.
I think it's true that one of the first things you learn,
you know, when, you know, Peach and I started radio,
like 15 years ago or whatever,
is the best way to interview is to basically not speak.
And if someone finishes a question and you don't say a thing, they'll add more.
Yes.
I've learned that through working in documentary as well.
That's like a documentary interview tactic is just like,
they'll fill the silence out of like being uncomfortable.
Yeah, people don't like silence.
So, yeah.
It's a good cross-examination tactic as well.
Just FYI.
You're like, so, was this really happening?
This is applicable to all of us.
Wow, everybody take note.
Everybody take note.
So Tex McAdoo tells Nick Cage that if he stays overnight
in Willy's Wonderland to clean it, his fixed and paid-for car
will be waiting for him in the morning and he can go on his way.
Nick Cage still hasn't spoken a word i guess i think he he eventually shakes this guy's hand to show that they agree and to the point where nick cage has no backstory he's referred to as
the janitor in the credits i wasn't going to reveal that until we got to the point where he
has to clean this for the night but yes he is referred to as the janitor the whole way through this film so they go inside it's a total mess but surprise it's the place from
the beginning and that crtv is still working text turns it on and it plays that same video from the
beginning that goes on to introduce each of the animatronic characters of willie's wonderland so
here's here's all eight of them there's willie the weasel who's i guess the the
headliner arty the alligator siren sarah cammy the chameleon gorilla gus nighty night aussie the
ostrich and tito the turtle tito is the only one who is a pse and speaks spanish which is actually
like a really nice touch like they they're all sort of like whatever but when you actually speak go to to to actually is like yeah it's it's there's there's really nice details
all the way through this film that you just wouldn't expect one thing that's funny that i
read in trivia also is that nick cage changed certain of the animatronics to reptiles he was
like i love this script let's throw a couple reptiles in it and he demanded that one be an alligator and one be a turtle and one be a
chameleon he made those changes and what's siren sarah i'm really curious 90 nights a night and
siren sarah is the girl yes and siren sarah is the girl that like she's kind of a fairy
tinkerbell ask yeah okay but she literally is a woman who's going like,
eh, eh, like her hands are all like splayed and like flat.
It's very funny.
So we see them on stage, they're dirty and they're in disrepair
and they're clearly just animatronic characters.
Tex laments that safety was an issue.
So, you know, this used to be a thriving restaurant,
but all those pesky, you know, child safety laws eventually shut them down.
There's a moment where we see Willie's head move in the background of a shot
and it's kind of unnerving.
Very Doctor Who.
That's a very Doctor Who, first five minutes of Doctor Who scary moment.
The janitor turns around but doesn't catch it.
Tex shows into the janitor's closet and gives him a Willy's Wonderland t-shirt
So Tex leaves him
And says he'll be back
In the morning, locks him inside and also
Says remember to take breaks
Makes a really important
Point to say take breaks, don't work
All night, you know, space it out, even though you
Have to clean this whole place, I still want
You to look after yourself, which is good
Management really, at the end of the day.
He also says, help yourself to anything in the kitchen,
which is insane because this is an abandoned building.
Yeah, also, like, why are we cleaning it?
For what?
What is in that kitchen?
What's happening?
And if Nicolas Cage could talk, he'd be like,
surely I could pay someone less than $1,000 to...
Yeah.
So outside, Tex and Jed share a cigar, then say, let's get out of here.
I can't stand to hear a grown man scream.
We cut back to Liv's house and her friends,
who I guess are the pesky teenagers that the tow truck owner was talking about,
show up.
They're all kind of characterless,
except the one other girl is like
sexy girl like that's her character they free her and they're all just they all decide that
they're going to continue with live's plan of burning down willie's wonderland live mentions
that she's already seen the bait and that he's almost already definitely already locked inside willie's wonderland so they've got to be quick so meanwhile the janitor puts the t-shirt on sets his watch and starts
cleaning he you know he does some stuff like he cleans around you know there's there's they take
some time they don't like i think even though this is an 88 minute film which great length like
what a what a length for a film it doesn't feel rushed at any
point i don't think he eventually does go into the kitchen um and there's a working fridge and
so in there he places his drinks and like i think at this point like at some point we find out their
energy drinks but yeah definitely in the beginning i thought they were beer and i wonder if they like
purposefully staged it that way that you can't read it at first.
You just see that he's drinking a lot of these cans.
Now, these energy drinks have no purpose in the plot.
They do a lot of hiding things in this film and then revealing.
A lot of radio.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, there's a lot of that.
And it's not a mystery.
There's no mystery in this film.
He's got to be up all night, I guess.
That makes perfect sense. Yeah, it's literally just that. There's no mystery in this film. He's got to be up all night, I guess.
That makes perfect sense. Yeah, it's literally just that.
Actually, that's really true.
That's really great.
Okay, so, all right.
So he places the energy drinks in and then his watch beeps.
Now, this is one of the more fun, you know,
recurring elements of the film is that every time his watch beeps,
he's having a break.
And so he grabs a can of energy drink.
And again, it's always like an Edgar Wright grab thing sort of thing.
And he notices a pinball machine.
So as these energy breaks go along,
he slowly restores and then starts playing this pinball machine.
It's filmed in almost a romantic way.
The first time we saw the pinball machine i was like
is he gonna fuck the pinball machine
all right so his watch beeps and he goes back to work just on titan on the very like
falling falling pregnant so firstly having sex with a car that's okay you're allowed to have
sex with a car it's the falling pregnant to a car like there just needs to be some like there needs to be
some genetic material you get from the car but peach you've got to remember that they set it up
that the car's magic by the car bouncing up and down outside a changing room but i feel like
normal cars can do that you just got you just, I'm sorry. We're still thinking about the film.
You guys have time to process it.
It's a lot to think about for sure.
All right.
Okay.
All right.
Okay.
Okay.
So watch Beeps.
He goes back to work.
While he's mopping, Ozzy the ostrich starts moving in the background.
We cut away and then we cut back and Ozzy's right behind him.
Nice.
And this is where I'm like, come on, Sammy.
These bits were kind of scary.
I didn't think so.
So brave.
She's really brave.
It's funny.
It's a ridiculous little ostrich costume guy.
Sounds scary.
Well, it's taller than Nicolas Cage.
But it's just like it's right behind him, but it's standing still.
It's standing completely still and it's right behind him.
And so Nicolas Cage. Nicolas cage is 183 centimeters tall that just scared me i was like who's talking
all right so nicholas cage is 183 centimeters tall thank you
so the janitor so janitor turns around nudges o Ozzy a couple of times with his mob.
All of a sudden, Ozzy comes to life and says, I'm going to feast on your face.
They all have like, like, they all have animatronic voices, but they all say over the top, like, almost like death metal-ish threats, things like that.
A fight ensues and it turns out the janitor is basically Neo and he's like this amazing fighter.
So, like, Ozzy tries to like menace him
But he can't
He gets a scratch on the janitor's face
Which almost
Which like makes
Like it's kind of like
It usually would be the moment where
The person gets
He's like now you piss me off
Right
But he like smiles
It's such a weird moment
Ooh cause he's like excited To kill this animatronic ostrich.
He's like, now we're fucking doing it.
And he snaps his little broomstick in half and he just goes to fucking town on him.
He beats Ozzy to a bloody pulp.
My favorite thing.
He does the predator spine rip.
He rips his little spine out.
Sick. That actually sounds pretty cool little metal spine and they look gory as hell and like that's the cool thing it is the transformer thing like it's so gory what he does to these characters
but they're just animatronic so it like it's you don't know what to feel about it but anyway he's
now covered in oil and blood so he replaces his shirt and puts on a new Willis Wonderland T-shirt.
Is the shirt another red herring?
I feel like it's been very, like, clearly brought up.
And I'm just wondering whether I care, whether to invest.
Pete, in the same way that Titan is about our relationship with metal
but doesn't necessarily have, like like a big thing to say about
that this film is definitely about the willy's wonderland t-shirt without it having like a
direct point forest gum feather style i get it so we cut to the sheriff she's sitting in an office
with an out-of-state officer who's been sent for backup for the night but he hasn't been told why
and he's like i don't understand this sounds really small i'm happy for the overtime but why am i here what's our plan and she points to a red
phone and she says our plan is to watch that phone and pray it doesn't ring it's good right like this
film is good it's good it's so we cut back to the janitor um he's carrying some garbage bags
with aussies remains tries to carry them out to the being finds. He's carrying some garbage bags with Aussie's remains,
tries to carry them out to the bin,
finds out that he's locked in and just leaves the bags by the door.
That is annoying as you're cleaning the thing.
You're like, oh, fucking great.
More mess.
Yeah.
What I do like about this film is that it does something I've never seen before,
which you're starting to realise is what if you had a protagonist in a horror film who just did not care and wasn't scared at all by the bad guys right you know maybe that's part of why maybe that's part of why i also didn't find it scary he's absolutely never scared
in the in the in the movie at all i love that because i feel like that's part of the horror
experience okay i'm not sure if you feel the same way the thing i'm scared of is just learning about
new things to be worried about going bump in the night kind of thing like i quite like there's that
empathic element as you're watching of like oh what if the lady in black got me oh no right you
put yourself in their shoes but when i'm putting myself in his shoes i'm like oh well it's fucking
cool it's not that big a deal i look like i do it halloween so uh the watch beeps break time energy drink and pinball watch beeps again back to cleaning
and now we have another editing moment it's like a cleaning montage instead of a research montage
we get a cleaning montage and it's not short it's like he's really
cleaning and it's like maybe to like some techno music or something and it's like sweep sweep sweep
scrub scrub scrub and we're really seeing it all happen and the place is getting pretty clean but
it's like clear that he is not thrown off by having just had to murder an animatronic thing
he's like well i'm gonna do what I came here to do.
There's a black cat behind you that I hope you know exists and is part of your cake group.
I know he exists and I love him a lot.
And that cat's name was Henley.
And that's the twist.
So, so, so, so.
This montage is interrupted
Now this montage happens entirely in the toilet
And yeah, he does a really good clean of this toilet
So anyway, so he's
This montage and the janitor himself
Are distracted by the animatronic band
Suddenly coming to life
And starting playing a sinister birthday song
That's like
It's your birthday, it's your birth
But sort of like
It's your birth You sort of like it's
your birth you know like it's slightly slowed down slightly a bit creepier so he goes out sees them
playing it turns the power off and then he hears a sound in the bathroom so he goes back in the
bathroom and you saw this in the trailer he finds it's your birthday written in blood on the window
sick i don't know whose blood like there hasn't been any blood yet
in the thing so but it's just written in blood um and then he hears a uh a voice in one of the
stalls inviting him to come and play hide and seek so that's pretty scary yeah it's scary right
sammy's like fuck I'm telling you.
Like, this scene was weird.
I just watched it.
I would remember if it was scary for me.
If it wasn't scary for me personally,
I can see how maybe it would be scary.
Sam, were you one of those kids at primary school
who used to eat, like, four warheads?
I don't know.
Did you guys have warheads?
Ooh, no way.
Ooh, my mouth is going to water just even thinking about that.
Yeah, okay.
So you're like, I'm going to have three hot ones at once or something.
That's all.
Start drooling.
So he opens these toilet stall doors one by one.
And in the last one, he's ambushed by Gus Gorilla.
He struggles, but because obviously he's the janitor,
the tables eventually turn.
At one point he gets pushed into the urinal and he grabs a plunger
and pushes Gus the gorilla out face first with the plunger,
eventually killing him by curb stomping him on a urinal.
Oh, shit.
That part is not.
Yeah, that's awful.
But it's so, like, this scene, this whole movie so far at this point were you like like
were you like what has gone like what were your thoughts
to like when this curb stop happened i was laughing it's funny this is a comedy movie
we then we then have an edgar wright style shirt chain lots of edgar wright style moments in this
film um he wraps some gaffer around his chest because he's been injured in this fight he puts
gus's remains next to ozzy's watch beeps it's break time again we cut to outside the teens
arrive carrying their gas cans they pour petrol all around the building they're about to light it
but lives like no no no no we've got to save this guy first she makes contact through the window and she's like hey you've got to get out of here we're coming to save it, but Liv's like, no, no, no, no, no. We've got to save this guy first. She makes contact through the window and she's like, hey,
you've got to get out of here.
We're coming to save you.
Basically, the janitor doesn't give a shit, goes back to cleaning.
And so Liv's like, well, we can't just burn this place down with him in it.
I'm going to go into the air vent to rescue him.
She goes in only to be followed by Artie the alligator.
Again, I found this scene kind of scary because she's being followed
by this animatronic alligator that's like snap, snap, snap, snap, snap,
and snapping at her feet as she crawls through this air vent.
She eventually escapes by falling into an enchanted fairy room,
escaping his snapping jaws.
But then the room fills with smoke.
Siren Sarah or Siren Selene or whatever is in there.
You nailed it, Siren Sarah.
Siren Sarah looking like, I don't know if you remember,
and God, like I'm talking about the era, not the artist,
but the era of like Marilyn Manson videos
where there would be out of focus scary figures
doing head tilts in the video.
Yeah.
Magnifying glasses in weird places.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. That's what this scene is.
This scene looks like a late 90s, early noughties.
There's a lot of late 90s, early noughties,
like, you know, music references seemingly.
I think it must have been a formative time
in the DOP's life, maybe.
I don't know.
Yeah, and Edgar Wright films.
I like those two films.
Definitely.
You know what I love? Trent Reznor and Edgar Wright films. I like those two films. Exactly. You know what I love?
Trent Reznor and Edgar Wright.
So they have a moment.
She screams.
Teens outside hear a scream, but so does the janitor who comes in to help.
Janitor comes into the room, finds Liv, finds she's safe,
doesn't see Sire and Sarah, so just leaves and goes back to cleaning.
And Liv keeps being like like like
her her reaction is the audience's reaction i think because she's like what are you doing like
and it's also the the awesome subversion of the tropes like he's not here to save anybody like
he's just here to clean and maybe kill these things if they get in his way he has no curiosity
though as well it would be a small life to lead, I feel.
All these interesting things are happening and he's like,
yeah, I'm not available, I'm not interested.
So the teens outside are fighting over what to do next.
Stupidly, they're fighting on the roof of this place,
which causes them all to fall through the shoddy roof
into the ball pit in the main room where the band are
and the band turns on
and starts playing again liv rejoins them in the room goes up to siren sarah and tries to stab her
with a knife but then weirdly the janitor stops her takes her knife and goes back to cleaning
i didn't understand this moment i don't know why he did this no me neither
is siren sarah a real person or you're just describing the way the
animatronic appear it's supposed it's supposed to be an animatronic model but it's it's the
obviously fakest of of them all i read i got really incensed because i started reading the
reviews of this film and i got really angry because a lot of them just hated the film and
hated it for all the reasons i liked it but then i read this review that was like this is actually an allegory for being red-pilled into loving
conservatism because what like basically they they compare this guy to all those people who
killed people in self-defense to be like he would never kill an intruder unless like he only kills
people in self-defense that's the conservative way and i was like that's so weird and that is not what
this film is about very weird hey anything can be about anything if you just decided i was gonna say
it's not what i know what i got from it so the janitor stops her takes a knife goes back to
cleaning meanwhile sexy kathy and her boyfriend decide to go have sex in the super happy fun room
she's sexy what else is she gonna do why don't they have sex at their own house like this is another horror film thing this is one of the
things that i was like okay it is a horror movie because always be stressed never be horny and
that's a that's more horny and we're gonna see that they're about cannot they're gonna break it
and they're gonna pay the pay the price they're gonna pay the price so at this point yes that's
the allegory it's yeah okay yep at this point live reveals to
the janitor that the the truth of what's happening he's a human sacrifice one of many over the past
20 plus years uh turns out willie's was built by jerry robert willis so a child so jerry robert
willis was a child serial killer who hired other evil child serial killers to kill family, to lure families and kill them in the super happy fun room.
So they'd invite them, the whole family into the room,
sing the song and then violent.
Like we didn't see how they died, but we, in fact,
we do see one kid get killed.
You see one kid be killed.
Yeah.
It's actually like.
A child serial killer who like ran an assassin ring
yeah well ran like a serial killing restaurant yeah okay yep so and it's weird that word didn't
get out that if you had your birthday here you just wouldn't emerge again you're dead
it's your last birthday so sorry so so so so uh eventually police realized what was going on but during the
raid on the place the killers took their own lives transferring their souls into the animatronic
characters as part of a satanic ritual it really is chucky years later tex reopens willies but it's
completely fucked because the robots actively
are harming characters but he doesn't burn it to the ground because according to live
he's he made some sort of a deal with the actual devil to keep it open for some reason
janitor does not give a shit about the story he listens to it so interesting and directly relevant
to exactly what is happening to him. Yeah, not curious enough. This man.
He doesn't care.
His watch beeps and he goes on his break.
So back to energy drink, playing some pinball.
The teens are drawn back into the main room
by the characters singing a new song,
a super spooky song that's like six little chickens
at the end of the line.
Again, great use.
And I think a lot of scary films, a lot of horror films,
use kids' songs sung scarily as a trope.
But there's no, often there's no, like often it's really,
like it has to be hedged in.
But here there's a really clear reason to have these songs in.
And I will say pretty much the whole time,
whenever you see that weasel, you know, this weasel is
going to be trouble.
Willie is a weasel.
So he just looks more menacing than the rest to me.
And that's got to be a conscious choice, right?
Like it's quite they're quite cleverly designed and that, you know, Willie's the bad guy.
It's funny.
I find my like all through this.
I'm not only telling you about this.
I feel like I'm trying to like sell this film because the reviews were just not great and I'm like I really liked this film I
want everybody to love this film yeah like some some cult status appreciation it's definitely fun
all right so they're singing that scary song and then nighty night appears out of nowhere and with
a massive sword and it's kind of more of
a scimitar than a sword stabs one of the boys through the back now like these got these teens
they're like there's kind of a nerdy one and there's a cool one and there's a black bit they
basically have no characterization and that's fine because they're all gonna die yeah get stabbed
right through the back with this massive sword uh and then he falls down live pushes nighty night over because he's an animatronic character
so he's you know his movement's limited and the rest disperse while live stays in there to deal
with him we cut back to sexy kathy and her boyfriend who are having sex they've noticed
it's the room where this happens they know the things and they're like wow that makes it hotter
which is like cool classic horror movie logic and they're like, wow, that makes it hotter, which is like cool, classic horror movie logic.
And they notice that Artie the alligator is watching them.
Ugh.
Then we cut to one of the characters.
Artie has the soul of like a 10-year-old.
No, no, no, no, no.
Artie has the soul of a child.
How old are the children?
No, no, no, sorry.
He's not a child serial killer.
He's a serial killer that kills children.
They're serial killers that kill children. Oh, sorry. The adults who murder. Sorry, I've not a child serial killer. He's a serial killer that kills children. They're adults.
Sorry.
Adults who murder children.
Sorry, I was thinking of children.
What the fuck?
I knew that first.
It's like children serial killers?
Serial killers of children.
I had serial killers under the age of 18 in my head.
Sorry.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Like English as a language has its limitations
and describing absolutely describing serial killers who are adults but their mo is to kill
children is clear we've just shown is one of the blind spots yeah of the language because i had a
child in the body of that animatronic alligator and i was like wow that child would probably be
like what is gonna like yeah watching sex that's this is inappropriate for this yeah bad for their development okay but yeah one thing but
so so they noticed arty watching them meanwhile we cut to one of the other boys the nerd boy
now he is being killed in the strobe lit room by siren sarah and tito the turtle who are eating
his stomach so he's like lying down and from Sarah and Tito the turtle who are eating his stomach.
So he's, like, lying down and from above we see them both sort of, like, eating his stomach.
Is that what they did in life?
Like, they were cannibals as well?
Well, I mean, yeah.
That's what you got.
Also, do you reckon you got to choose which animatronic person you became?
And, like, the most bully, like, the shit-ass serial killer was like,
you're getting the turtle and I'm going gonna be the knight or whatever it was i do get the sense that the head one became willie
the weasel willie yeah yeah yeah jerry is her jerry is willie like so yeah i think they did
choose probably so one of the boys makes it into a room where there's a phone calls the sheriff
and explains where they are she just hangs up immediately and says it's a prank call uh the backup is like um she's been
like thinking and the backup's like this is this was our thing what happened and then he calls
again she doesn't answer it goes to voicemail which again is not something that even exists
in 2021 but hey like let's go with it the The boy explains that they're in Willy's Wonderland
and Liv brought them there.
At the mention of Liv's name, the sheriff is like,
we got to go, grabs the shotgun and says,
we're going to Willy's.
And it's like a real, like, trailer moment where it's like,
earmark that for a moment for promo later on.
Return to the janitor, back from break,
he returns to the main room where nighty night
and live are still sort of struggling kicks the shit out of nighty night and decapitates him with
his sword sick he and live share another long look they together without really speaking
investigate the super happy fun room to find kathy and bobby dead and arty feasting on their remains
so the janitor this is maybe one of the more graphic deaths
of an animatronic character.
Pulls Artie's jaws apart, like rips them apart.
The King Kong death.
King Kong death.
And then reaches in and pulls out his, like, tongue
attached to all the stuff, you know, the circuitry,
and, you know, pulls it from the inside outside.
But that is a man who's passionate.
That is a man whose passion has been ignited.
And he not only wants to kill this thing,
that's completely inconsistent with his lack of curiosity.
I just can't, I can't know these two things up.
He's a mysterious character.
Sorry, perhaps that is the point.
So Eloise and the backup cop are racing toward Willy's
Now she explains to them what happens
And she gives us the full story
So they always knew what was going on
But no one would help them
Because everybody just thought they were superstitious yokels
And were like it's a small town
Of course there's no like evil things happening
In a like a Willy's Wonderland
And as it turns out tex macadoon
did try to destroy the place but the night before it was meant to be destroyed by like a construction
business the head contractor and all of his family were found disemboweled from that point on nobody
wanted to touch it's a horror movie i keep saying it's definitely a horror movie. Definitely a horror movie. I'll be in a fun one.
Yes.
So at this point, the sheriff's like, we didn't have a choice
but to make a deal promising to feed them regularly
because they tried to just leave it be,
but the characters would escape and started killing people all over town.
So they had to make a deal.
So it's kind of like Tex, Jed. The janitors killed them in hand-to-hand combat all right so that's the one
thing that isn't really inspiring in this anyway so then we have a montage of jed and text tricking
people over the past 20 years into staying the night we see you know we see couples we see
families we definitely
see a kid getting killed i can't remember like does he get like he gets like decapitated or
something awful probably i don't remember maybe it's good henley's not here yeah okay um before
seeing the couple from the start revealing that live was the child from the beginning hiding in
the closet that the sheriff found and put up in a trailer and has essentially been her carer ever
since so they cut to the boy chris that made the call he's in the arcade uh which is the arcade
section of it all of a sudden he's shocked to hear all of the machines turn on and cammy the
chameleon tricks chris into trusting uh pete you might have a little visitor. Sorry, it's like that news video, remember?
Do you want to say hello to Cher?
Hello.
Hi.
Hi.
I'll be down shortly.
We'll see you soon.
It just reminded me of that, like, news guy that was doing an interview on CNN
and then the wife comes in and is like, pulls him out.
And the wife comes in and pulls him out.
The judge in the hearing I'm in today has a barking dog.
And so it's always having to be like, oh, yeah, sorry.
It's a very COVID reality.
It's good fun.
So Cammy the chameleon is there and she tricks this kid, Chris,
into trusting her because she's like, I'm not evil.
I'm trying to escape and I can tell you what death's like.
It's a cool moment.
I'm not evil.
I can tell you what death's like.
That's true.
It is like I can tell you the secret that literally everybody wants to know of like what it's like to die.
It's tempting.
That is tempting.
And I want to hear it from Cammy the chameleon.
Anyway, of course it's a trick.
She shoots out her long chameleon tongue and snaps Chris's neck.
Liv comes in and sees him die before the janitor enters.
He gets ready to fight and then beep, beep, beep, beep.
It's time for his break.
He hands the knife to live and leaves
and goes to have his break he's got great boundaries the janitor this man will not be
overworked yeah i respect that i respect that yeah he should definitely be a union leader yes like
anyway so live and cammy fight then the janitor's break ends he returns and finishes the fight by
lassoing her dragging her around the corner they discover break ends he returns and finishes the fight by lassoing her
dragging her around the corner they discover siren sarah and tito the turtle but he just punches
them both in the face which again goes why have they been killing people for 20 plus years if
this guy is just destroying them all he drags them to a door kicks the door open where he's
greeted by sheriff eloise with a shotgun points it at the janitor and forces him and Liv back inside.
She forces him into the main room and then she's apologising to Willie
and she's like, Willie, I'm so sorry.
And she's like, this is all your fault.
All of these kids are dead now and they didn't have to die.
And she says, why didn't you just die?
She's like, you just had to die.
All these kids didn't you just die she's like you just had to die all these kids
didn't have to die which like is for a motivation for like that for a cult is kind of cool anyway so
eloise forces the backup guy and live out with a shotgun because the backup guy's like i don't want
to be part of this and he's she's like you don't know what you're talking about so the backup guy
has to leave with live and before live goes you you're trapping the wrong guy. He's not
trapped in here with them. They're trapped
in here with him. Just
stolen from Watchmen.
Is that what that's from?
Rorschach. You're trapped
in here with me. I think
it's literally the exact same line. But in
the trivia I read, it's like, it's a tribute
to Watchmen.
Not plagiarism, it's a tribute to watchman not plagiarism it's a tribute
no we liked it that's why we did it we thought it was a good line so
because we like it
all right so the sheriff handcuffs him and leaves him in front of Willie and the rest of the characters that are still alive.
The backup takes Liv away in his car and the sheriff stays outside in a car.
Hang on.
But they arrived in the same car.
He leaves in a car with Liv and she's watching him in a car.
So I don't know how that works, but somehow they're now in separate.
Yeah, maybe.
Look, maybe it is.
Anyway, so the sheriff is watching over the place.
They're leaving.
Okay, so back inside, Cammy appears and says, hey, cowboy,
ready for a little menage a trois as Cammy and Siren Sarah appear.
Now, the janitor kicks the jukebox
behind him because he doesn't have hands now
but he kicks the jukebox behind him which starts
playing a country version of heads, shoulders, knees
and toes.
I thought that was fun.
Yeah but it's a horror movie thing to do
Sammy. Like I just don't
I'm shocked you don't think this is a horror movie.
I do. It's a horror comedy.
I'll call it a horror comedy.
Fair.
So in the car, Liv convinces the backup cop to turn around
because she's like, by leaving him, you're a murderer.
And he's like, I'm not a murderer.
So they're about to turn around when the arm of Tito
grabs him from the top of the car,
drags him out of the car and kills him.
Liv grabs his shotgun, but Tito has the shotgun shells,
which he reveals to her in Spanish. So she just beats him up with the gun.
We cut back to the room where the janitor is currently.
She's an actual child, is she not?
Yeah, but, like, she's tough.
She's teenage.
She's, like, 15.
And so how are these animatronic people terrorizing this town for 20 years?
Nobody's really tried, I guess.
Yeah.
Oh, well, it's tough times.
Just once, three, three dies a year, whatever. nobody's really tried i guess yeah yeah well it's tough times so the janitor is breaking sarah's neck with his knees before tearing off his own he just tears off his handcuffs and then rips cammy's head off the janitor cleans up the mess bags the
remain changes shirts again.
He also puts sheets over the bodies of the dead teens,
which he's lined up in a row in a kind of respectful touch.
That's nice.
He could clean it up, but I'm sorry, I guess it's... Yeah.
Finally, the place looks immaculate with only Willie left on the stage.
He approaches him, but then his watch beeps again.
Now, this is the bit that's like Tatame,
because you
know how towards the end of titan there's to tame to time i can never i keep changing titan
so at the end of titan towards the end there's that three minute dance sequence yep where they're
all dancing to that hardcore techno song there's a similar moment in willie's wonderland where in
the final time he plays the pinball machine he they play a synth version of the willie's wonderland theme like an 80s version of it
and he's kind of dancing as he like it's to your point i think it's kind of an erotic not an erotic
scene but vaguely sexual yeah where he's playing this pinball machine but he's also every time he
gets he's like dancing he does like a hand under his chin and then up and then chin and then up.
And he's just, he's just dancing as he, and it's, it's,
it's the coolest.
I love this scene.
Yeah, this scene is great.
And he's the best, Nick Cage.
I love him.
He's the best.
Well, for you to love him even more,
apparently that wasn't in the script.
He just did that on the day.
Yep.
Of course he did.
Of course. Incredible of course incredible they wanted everyone to stick by the script except for
him he'd do whatever he wanted so later he's taking the garbage bags up outside because now
the door's open so he's like he's taking the garbage bags outside wakes up the sheriff who's outside watching over him just waves at her and then walks back in and she's like what the fuck so she grabs
her shotgun uh and forces him back inside and takes him right in front of willie and she's like
willie i'm so sorry let's end this now i'll stay watched kill him right now that's when willie appears but not behind the janitor behind the
sheriff and with one slash rips her entire top torso off leaving just her legs spurting blood
up into the air right now yep that's that's very unsatisfactory to me like these things
weren't especially strong like that that would take an immense amount of strength that these things don't seem to have i would say it's yeah physically
impossible based on what we've seen that's right but except that willie's stronger than all of us
the main one he's got those weasel powers yeah i get it so so willie then attacks the janitor
and clearly the janitor is a little bit outmatched.
He's slashing at him with his weasel claws.
I don't really know weasels.
I assume they have sharp claws.
Scrappy and nasty.
Scrappy and nasty.
And this is how they're fighting, except Willie is a lot bigger than the janitor.
Slashing, causing him to bleed and eventually pushing him into the ball pit
and then just sort of leaving him.
And we think, is the janitor dead?
Of course not.
But he's not dead.
Of course not.
He emerges from the ball pit, walks into the kitchen,
grabs the rest of the energy drinks,
puts them into a bag to make a sort of like bludgeon-y sort of thing.
Nice.
Grabs the two broom handles, gaffers them together,
and then reemerges into the main room ready to fight again this is a very edity filmy scene where they fight amid in slow
motion amid exploding confetti fun and i think it's a way to make the scene seem bigger when
they don't have like a crazy budget.
Right, they got to stay in that same room.
It's like, what can we do in the room?
I guess put some confetti?
Confetti.
You drink some of that.
Ew.
So they fight amid exploding confetti.
Eventually the janitor beats Willie,
beats him to a pulp before tearing off his head.
Hell yeah.
We cut to the next morning.
Jed is doing donuts in the janitor's car,
delivers it to Tex being like,
you're going to love this car for your collection.
And at that point, did a garbage bag just move in the background?
Maybe it did.
I don't know.
Maybe it did.
Uh-oh.
Why do you raise that check?
Sorry, we were just talking about the car.
So Tex looks inside, sees the lights on,
and then it's been cleaned.
And he's like, what?
And the characters aren't on the stage.
And he's like, hang on.
Tex and Jed go inside and they find the janitor
who's changing back into his own clothes.
He confronts the men and they're shocked to see him standing.
So Tex just hands him the keys
He sees Liv
They share another look
They share their third long look
He gets in the car
She gets in the car with him
And they speed off
Tex and Jed share a laugh outside
Celebrating that the nightmare's over
They get in Tex's car
And Tex imagines reopening Willy's
Maybe with a new name
Maybe it's Tex McAdoo's.
They beat us to the punch.
Dang.
Sarah reappears behind the car and she has stuffed, like,
a petrol rag into the exhaust.
She said something.
I can't remember what she said.
She said something a bit scary.
Yeah, something similar to what they've all been saying.
I'm not locked out here with you. Yeah. Some, something similar to what they've all been saying.
I'm not locked out here with you.
Yeah.
Another Watchmen.
Anyway,
she,
she ignites the car and it explodes in a pretty not realistic looking
explosion.
Anyway,
finally in the car,
the Chanada opens an energy drink,
feels a bit weird and then hands it to Liv in a moment that I guess means something.
I don't.
Like we're both weird now.
We're both weird now.
We're in this together now.
They see Tito on the road, so they ram him.
His head flies into the camera.
They do one of those like, that's all, folks.
Like circle closes on the head
and that's the end of willie's wonderland how about that it's a real allegory for people being
red-pilled into um neoconservative i see that yeah that's what i that's what i got from it
for sure that's my main takeaway it was engaging and diverting i don't know it was a rollicking
ride and would you watch it is it too scary for us it might be too scary for me i don't know if
it's too scary i might i'd probably be on edge watching it um i i think it's one that i would
make it through but i would definitely be uh tense uh but it sounds like one that
is probably a fun
time to watch. I like to see Nick
Cage just go crazy.
I think it'd be a fun group watch.
Ah, that'd be
cool. To do it all
those moments. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It'd be fun to watch
with a big group of people.
This would be a fun one in a midnight
screening or something. Yeah, that would would be fun i've never i never realized that until say until you
know till again titan last week where it's like there's a whole sort of subgenre of films where
like i didn't think of titan after i saw it like i loved watching it but afterwards it's like it
just left my brain but it was so fun watching it with a crowd and there there are there is this
whole subgenre
of films that have to be watched together otherwise they probably don't have their potency yeah yeah
that was i remember a big thing that was told to me in in terms of getting into horror movies it
like everyone was like you have to go to a scary movie in a movie theater like you won't get it
until you do that um because like a roller coaster i get because it is yeah it's like a you
know that makes the scary moment scarier but then the you know come down from that you get to like
be with people and yeah it's a whole experience i've never thought about how depressing being on
a roller coaster by yourself could be fun could be it's like going to the ballpark all on your lonesome exactly that's
right right it's like being having some blue razz berry and a fancy ballpark
i love it we're scrounging for the callback yeah we found it i think we found it i think
you found it it's the blue it's the blue rice but you know what i do love what you said especially
if you're on a journey like Em,
like Peach are on, where, you know,
you are trying to get over your fear of scary films.
Clearly, you know, we've talked about so many techniques,
but I think the best technique by far is watching with a bunch of people.
By far.
That's how you do it.
So for that reason, thank you so much.
Always love creating a Too Spooko Didn't Watch.
This is great.
Have an amazing non-work holiday Christmas, Hanukkah period.
Yeah, so everyone go find Too Scary Didn't Watch on Patreon
and follow and support and go find Too Scary Didn't Watch on Instagram.
And I think you guys are making use of the hashtag TSDW now
or you can go find Too Scary Didn't Watch on Twitter as well.
So anyone who's not already doing that, get amongst it.
Yeah, sick.
And also the new fan account I saw that's making Too Scary Didn't Watch content.
I heart TSDW.
It's very fun.
Very, very sweet.
Good stuff.
Was this a safe, comforting experience for you, Peach?
Was this a nice little reprieve from your day?
Shag says every week that this is an easy one.
And I feel like this actually was an easy one.
There we go.
We got it.
We got it.
And I feel like we just have to say happy birthday to Henley.
This is our Christmas episode.
So happy birthday to our Henley as well.
She's real.
She's real.
She's real and exists and she has a birthday. And happy birthday to our Henley as well. She's real. She's real. I promise.
And she has a birthday.
And happy birthday, Henley.
Hi, guys.
Thank you so much for listening to another episode of Too Spooko Didn't Watch.
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We hope you have a safe holiday and a happy new year, and we will talk to you in 2022. Love you, bye!