Toronto Mike'd: The Official Toronto Mike Podcast - Craig Lauzon: Toronto Mike'd #595
Episode Date: March 11, 2020Mike chats with Craig Lauzon about his career, the end of the Air Farce, working on CBC's Because News, and indigenous issues that have his blood boiling....
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Welcome to episode 595 of Toronto Mic'd, a weekly podcast about anything and everything.
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I'm Mike.
From torontomike.com and joining me this week
is Craig Lauzon.
How did I do?
Be honest with me.
It's tricky.
People always try to hit the end at the end.
You know what I noticed?
You said pasta and pasta in the same sentence.
Because I've always said pasta
and then someone said it's pasta.
So I'm like, oh, I'm saying it wrong.
But obviously I...
I thought it was because of the palm
where you went palm or pasta.
Enjoy the pasta. See, talking is hard it wrong, but obviously I... I thought it was because of the palm. You went palm or pasta. Enjoy the pasta.
See, talking is hard.
Yeah, it's not easy.
Like, we take it for granted.
We do.
I'm always like, I can't understand what my three-year-old is telling me right now.
And then I'm like, wait, I can't really speak well myself.
Like, maybe I shouldn't be so judgmental.
So do you say pasta or pasta?
I say pasta, sure.
I'm not an animal.
Obviously, I say both.
Do you enjoy pasta or pasta?
It's interesting.
My friend Lisa Gasparri and I go through this all the time on Facebook.
I don't.
I don't like pasta.
I very rarely eat it.
I have been.
Listen, I got gout. that's a rich person's disease
you would think i feel like a renaissance king um but i yeah and so i ended up i have to i have
to really cut down on meat and stuff like that and uh and pasta is not a good one to have but
they have like brown rice pasta pasta now i'm doing it see it i think now i'm thinking about it too much well maybe it's like caribbean caribbean like i'm
not maybe it's one of those like tomato tomato right potato potato if it's tomato on pasta or
tomato on pasta i say well this is shocking to me i'm uh is there anyone in your home that would eat a lasagna?
Yeah, my kids love it.
How old are your children? I have an 18-year-old.
I do too, by the way.
And a 14-year-old.
Okay.
I have an 18-year-old and a 15-year-old.
Right.
So we could all hang out.
Yeah, yeah.
And my wife loves it too.
She eats it all the time.
Good, because I have a frozen lasagna from Palma Pasta.
Oh my God, that's amazing.
In the freezer upstairs for you.
Oh, see, you should have told me that beforehand.
I should have winked at you.
No, it's real talk.
No, yeah, everybody except for me loves it.
I'll eat lasagna.
Of the ones, lasagna is the one I'll eat.
Usually a veggie lasagna, but the meat lasagnas are great.
So we should get the, well, I'll get you a veggie one.
I think I have one up there.
Sure.
Let's get the awkwardness out of the way.
And I ask you now,
do you drink beer?
I love beer.
And GLB is one of my faves.
Again,
with the gout,
I'm supposed to steer clear,
but that's not going to happen.
Damn gout.
Okay.
Well,
here you always,
you know,
you have friends who come over and.
Yeah,
no,
I,
I will drink these beers.
I would drink one right now.
Well, it's a, I don't want, I mean, I don't want you to have any gout problems,
but yeah, you're welcome to.
That's yours, my friend.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
As far back as I can remember.
Oh, geez, okay.
I gave you like a mix there.
So thank you.
Phil, thank you first of all to Palma Pasta.
They're at palmapasta.com.
You can find them on Skip the Dishes,
great partners of the show, and they're going to feedasta.com you can find them on Skip the Dishes great partners of the show
and they're going to feed at least your kids there
and the beer again Great Lakes Brewery
fantastic partners for many many years now
can't wait to have an event there in June
cross your fingers
we'll talk about that
but yeah they sent over that beer for you to bring home
that's great man I'm down with the beer
I thought you were going to say I'm down with the sickness
and that would be a good segue
to my COVID-19 discussion.
But first,
I have a jam for you.
You ready?
Sure.
What is going on? What is going on?
Yeah. Craig, tell us what I'm playing for everybody.
This is a great young band from the Barrie area called The Sades.
You're making me, I'm already tearing up.
I feel like I'm on Oprah.
This is my son's band.
They're so great, man.
They just released this EP called Nervous System.
It's on all the platforms, I believe. It's on Apple Music, Spotify, all that stuff. The S great, man. They just released this EP called Nervous System. It's on all the platforms, I believe.
It's on Apple Music, Spotify, all that stuff.
The Sades, yeah.
He's the bassist, and he and the singer write the majority of the music,
but they all sort of pitch in.
It sounds like the stuff I listened to from the 90s.
Isn't it?
It's wild, right?
Yeah, they kind of remind me a little bit of Stone Temple Pilots
and Silverchair.
Yeah, there's a bit of Alice in Chains
potting along there.
and they love all those guys.
It's been warming my heart.
Well, warming the cockles of your heart.
That's the idea.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So this is the 18-year-old?
Yeah, this is the 18-year-old,
Connor.
On Facebook,
he's known as The Elder
because for a long time
I didn't want to put their names out there,
so I would just call him The Younger and The Elder. Because for a long time, I didn't want to put their names out there. So I would just call them The Younger and The Elder.
Sure.
And yeah, they're so great.
Well, I dig it.
So tell your son, make your son listen to this podcast.
At least tell him to listen to the first five minutes.
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
He'll love this.
Oh, my gosh.
Yeah, man. Yeah, everybody, for sure. He'll love this. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, man.
Yeah, everybody,
get to the platforms.
Look up The Sades,
S-A-Y-D-E-S.
It's a four-song EP.
They're so great.
I love these guys.
And they're,
you know,
for all intents and purposes,
they're kids.
Yeah.
Because, you know,
because I said I have
an 18-year-old son
and I'm thinking, like,
he's not in a band
making great music like this. Like, and now I feel bad here.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, I don't know.
My ex-wife, his mom was a singer, so she has a musical ear.
His grandparents on that side, they have a little duo that they go around to old age homes and play music for.
Oh, nice.
So he comes by it naturally.
I always wanted to play bass. I do a wicked air bass, which he laughs at all the time
because I basically play my nipple, my right nipple,
and drums, which he also plays.
So he's multi-talented.
I'm really proud of him.
I'm really proud of these guys.
Oh, my God.
No, that's tremendous.
So we wish him a lot of luck there.
The Sades, S-A-Y-D-E-S.
Yeah.
This is an important question
that came in.
Let me find it here.
Oh yeah.
Who is your favorite Toronto band?
So not Barry Bands.
Yeah.
Well, it's got to be
the lowest of the low, right?
Yeah, there it is.
Oh yeah.
You know, that's the official band of the Toronto Mike podcast,
is Lowest of the Low.
Is it really?
It's my buddy Larry Money, Lawrence Nichols.
I like to call him Larry Money because he hates it.
So I think we should spread that around.
Dave Hodge came on and said that Lowest of the Low
was the official house band of the Toronto Mike podcast.
So I might start using that.
So are you willing
to share with us, how do you know Larry Money?
He
is kind of like my
brother.
My wife
and his ex are sisters.
And so we
were like brother-in-laws for about and his ex are sisters. And so we were, you know,
we were like brother-in-laws
for about seven or eight years.
Yeah, I never thought of what happens
because my first wife had no siblings.
Right.
So, yeah, what happens when you divorce?
Because I'm divorced,
but again, I never lost any in-laws like that.
But like, yeah, you lose a brother-in-law.
Just a name only.
Yeah, I kept him.
Now I just call him my friend, I guess.
But I still call him my brother.
He's a great guy.
I'm going to agree with that.
I think he's been on here, I think, at least five times.
Yeah.
I think he played an event at Great Lakes Brewery.
Yes.
He and Ron.
It was him and Ron, right?
Yeah, yeah.
I just missed that.
I did see them at the Horseshoe just recently when they played there.
Oh, I went to the Lee's Palace show, which I think was the next night.
Yeah, yeah.
It was the next night, yeah.
How was that one?
Great? Oh, my God, yeah. there oh i went to the lee's palace show which i think was the next night it was the next night yeah yeah how was that one great oh my god yeah well i'm uh like just i have a serious man crush
on the whole enterprise like i think they're i love the toronto-ness yeah absolutely and i shared
the story before but i was ignorant to the fact that uh they weren't as popular in like vancouver
and stuff like i just thought like everybody loved them like the way we did yeah and then some people said hey you know uh no no disrespect but it's it was only
that it was never that big in the rest of canada like this toronto thing yeah and that actually
made me like love him more like this if this is our little secret like i'm just yeah they just
remind me of an era like i I know they're they're not really
involved
it was
Shadowy Planet
for Shadowy Men
but they make me think
of kids in the hall
they just make me think
of that era
they're so Toronto
you're right
yeah
makes me think
of that time
yeah
it's just great
they're great
and Lawrence
is a beautiful guy
he's a good guy
I think Ron
is still like
a guy who won't
have a cell phone
so like if you want to when you're negotiating like you know playing your event He's a good guy. I think Ron is still a guy who won't have a cell phone.
So if you want to, when you're negotiating,
playing your event and stuff,
and you need to ask Ron something,
you've got to call up Larry Money.
Because you can't call Ron Hawk.
I think you can reach him on Facebook.
You can Facebook him.
Yeah, he's on there quite a bit.
That's true.
So yeah, bleed a little while. So yeah, Bleed a Little Wild.
And again, I talk a lot on the show about Shakespeare, My Butt,
because I played it so many times. Right.
But the song that got stuck in my head last week is not on Shakespeare, My Butt.
So I'm going to just start that up here.
It's this one.
Oh, yeah. it's this one oh yeah which also has a nice long intro
I could talk over
when I'm up
because I closed every episode
with a song
that has a nice long intro
I can talk over
from Shakespeare
my butt with a song that has a nice long intro I can talk over from Shakespeare in My Butt. And it's banging around. And I'm feeling far too lost to feel too profound.
And the tone of my voice is the loneliest sound.
My heroes have all become pathetic clowns.
And I'm feeling far too lost to feel too profound.
So this one got stuck in my head and it wouldn't leave.
And it was not a bad thing at all.
Yeah, it's great.
It would be easy to be a Lowe's of be a low head because there, Japan, is Buffalo.
So you can go back and forth from just following them around like low heads or whatever.
I don't know what, what are we called?
Buttheads, I think.
Oh, Shakespeare.
And that's strictly, that's because Buffalo listened to 102.1 The Edge.
Like that's pretty much the whole thing there.
So it's like their honorary Canucks, really.
Amazing, amazing.
Okay, so let's get serious for a moment.
You're the first guest in Toronto Mike's history who,
when I met you for the first time at my front door,
I did not shake your hand.
That's right.
First time ever.
And I didn't feel slighted by it.
You didn't take it personally?
No, no.
I thought you were going to go psych or something.
I go through my hair.
And it's not because you look like you could crush my hand.
That would be a good reason to skip a handshake with you.
Because 18 months ago I broke my pinky and it's still recovering.
So let's just talk about this.
Because it's funny how things change so rapidly like i
recorded on friday and it feels like it's been several months since friday in terms of like
covid 19 news yeah well they did this and that like literally as i was walking up i was looking
at my uh my google box on my phone and um it was is who just declared it a pandemic hoping that governments will take
it more seriously now do you i mean you're not for the record uh we're going to talk but would
you say are you a doctor are you a scientist uh not on any level no no i can work a box of
band-aids pretty good so in your household though though, like, because I'm still in that,
I mean,
not that I would panic
because I think panicking
would help,
would not help at all.
Like,
I think it's a terrible idea
to panic,
but I'm still waiting
and seeing
and playing everything by ear.
I have cut out the handshakes
and I guess I'm washing
my hands more
and I noticed my wife
has put a
hand sanitizer
in every room
including this one.
So like, I've done a few things differently.
And I'm, you know, every day following the news and taking advice from the professionals.
But has anything changed in your household?
No, but my, so my wife is working on Erica McMaster.
She's lovely.
She's the luscious beast.
She, she's working on the Junos.
She works at Insight, so she does a lot
of these sort of live event,
televised live events. Of course, yeah.
It's in Saskatoon, right? It is in Saskatoon
and there was some worry about it
for
a few minutes. I think they put out
a press release yesterday
saying that they were going to be fine,
but there was a brief moment in time where they talked about canceling.
I'm not surprised because they canceled the women's hockey championship.
And that was in Halifax.
Now, I'd be curious if it was the men's, do you think they would have?
I had the same thought.
My first thought was no, not if it was in Halifax.
I do think that that is true,
that they probably would not have canceled the men's hockey was in Halifax. I do think that is true, that they probably would not
have cancelled the men's hockey championships
in Halifax.
They didn't cancel the Briar.
No, and also, being the home opener for the Jays
is at the end of this month, and so far
it's still on the... I mean, yesterday, I don't know
how many... I was talking to Lorne Honigman this
morning, who was at the Leaf game yesterday, and he said
it was not as well attended as usual.
But you still had like 15,000, 15 16 000 people in that building last night yeah so I mean
people are still going about the business as normal like but I did read today that the Golden
State Warriors I think we're gonna play in front of empty uh an empty arena uh some game in Oakland
some games coming up and I think I read the Seattle Mariners are going to,
are not going to play in front of like a crowd at Seattle for,
for eight or March and April or something like that.
No handshakes or butt slaps during the game.
South by Southwest canceled.
Right.
And I just read today also that they're not refunding anybody their money for
their tickets.
Is it postponed?
I, cause that's the move there.
It just said canceled.
It didn't say postponed.
Don't they have to refund if it's canceled?
I don't know.
We'll have to get an expert on the show.
I'm not a doctor or a lawman.
So listeners, FOTMs, basically,
because these shows,
they drop 15 minutes after you leave, Craig.
Is that right?
Yeah, they're time sensitive.
Oh my gosh.
I mean, we'll talk about a little bit off the top as things progress,
just what's new and what's different with regards to COVID-19,
because this is a serious thing, right?
Yeah, it seems free.
We're trying to contain this thing.
I mean, Italy and Iran would say yes, it's very serious.
Justin Bruckman, he's an MMA fighter who started a podcast and he had me on his podcast.
So I just wanted to thank Justin Bruckman for the invitation and to let
people know,
I put the,
uh,
the episode as a bonus episode of Toronto Mike.
So if you subscribe to this podcast,
Toronto Mike,
the last episode you would have access to was a bonus episode of me on
Justin Bruckman.
I think it's
called justin the justin bruckman adventure so thank you justin for that um let me talk about
your shirt here because i'm also a fan of this team but tell me about your relationship with the
the toronto wolf pack uh well officially i'm just a fan um but uh i love rugby and I was very excited
when Rugby League came to Toronto
I'd only ever heard of it
I've been to England a few times
and I've heard tell
but I never saw it played
it's a different game than the rugby
that most Canadians are probably used to
or know as rugby
right because that's
I'm learning all this too
but that one is the one where you would watch the documentary
about the 1995 World Cup of rugby.
Yeah, when you talk about the World Cup, the All Blacks,
whenever you've seen rugby on television, Team Canada,
that's Rugby Union, which has a totally separate set of rules,
and they play with 15 players.
And Rugby League, which is what the Wolfpack are, is 13 players, and they have, it's a
much more fast-paced game.
If you've ever watched Sevens, it's more like Sevens.
Right.
And all the things that slowed down Rugby Union, because League was the breakaway.
They broke off from the Rugby Union.
So all the things that slow down the game
like the line outs where they throw the ball in
and the scrums
and rucks and stuff like that
those are all gone and they have
continuous play so they have basically they have
five downs to try and score a try
and then they have to kick it off
I mean there's six all together
but if you get tackled on the six you lose the ball
where you lost it so you would kick it away on the fifth one if you weren't close.
Which is like a punt.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's punty.
It's punty, yeah.
Now, I went to several games last, including the championship game.
Oh, I was there.
Yeah, I was in the VIP section.
I was not.
I was in the end zone, but the other one.
The other one where all the beer gardens are.
The beer gardens.
Do they have Great Lakes beer garden there?
I believe they do, actually, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So shout out to GLB.
But we won that.
And my understanding is there's three tiers,
and that was the second tier.
And we won that championship, which promotes us
to the Super League.
Super League.
And I mean, I haven't, obviously, the games so far
have been in overseas.
But I pop in to the Canadian press write-ups about it,
and it sounds like it's tough sledding for the Wolfpack.
We're getting our asses handed to us.
Yeah.
I mean, it's a serious jump up.
Yeah, there's three tiers.
There's League One, which is the bottom tier,
which is Ottawa.
Just the same guy, Eric Perez,
who brought the Toronto Wolfpack to Toronto,
is actually from Ottawa, so he got a team in Ottawa.
They just announced it, the Ottawa Aces, and they'll be playing in League One, and they are planning on... And you actually from Ottawa. So he got a team in Ottawa. They just announced it, the Ottawa Aces.
And they'll be playing in League One.
And they are planning on doing this.
And you're from Ottawa.
I'm from Ottawa, yeah.
So they're planning on doing a slower build to Super League
if they ever actually get there.
They want to have grassroots.
They want to develop players, Canadian players,
more so than the Toronto idea was to try and get to Super League
and get the game sort of more known here.
And so they signed Sonny Bill Williams, who was the biggest name.
So give us an equivalent.
Like if we're just, let's say we're just puck heads and we know hockey.
Sure.
Who's Sonny Bill Williams?
Sonny Bill is Gretzky.
Sonny Bill is, yeah.
But is Gretzky at like 40 years old?
No.
Well, yeah.
It's more like, you know, Rangers Gretzky.
Oh, gotcha.
Yeah.
But the idea of him coming here and playing for the Toronto Wolfpack
and playing in Super League even itself is a big thing
because he started as a league player
and then switched to Union and played for the All Blacks.
Like he was the best of the best.
And then he played at the World Cup this year,
and then from there switched codes,
and he's been training ever since
because it's a completely different pace.
You're running all the time.
Tell me, how is he doing so far on the Wolfpack?
He's doing well.
The team is struggling.
The first five games,
I mean, we're 0-6 right now.
We actually played today.
We're playing in like 40 minutes,
but not in the league.
It's a separate cup thing.
It's like soccer that way.
Yeah, they have all these little different things.
So they're playing at a cup game today.
But a win would be a win in my books.
So they went 0-6 so far.
But the first, and actually the first six,
I would have thought looking at it that they might be 1-5
because they played all the teams from the top of the table so far.
They haven't played any of the lesser teams.
Right. And so even before the season started
people were predicting that they would go 9th or
10th.
But is there any risk of
is it called delegation? Relegation.
So is that when you get
bumped down to the second tier?
I guess is that a real risk this year when you
start at 1-6? It is a risk. Yeah, it certainly is.
I mean they've got to start winning some games.
They have to beat the teams that they should be beating.
And as far as I know, as far as I feel right now,
they've only played one team so far that they probably should have beaten
that they didn't.
The other ones were all, well, if they win this, that'll be great.
And they were pretty close a couple of times
against some of the better teams.
And then the last two games,
they've seemed to have fallen apart a little bit.
They lost 66 to 12 last game.
Wow.
Wow.
Okay.
Well, you know, I can't,
when abouts do they come back to Canada?
April 18th is their home opener here.
Okay.
And do you think,
what do you think the crowd will be like
to see a Sonny Boy Williams?
Sonny Bill?
Sorry.
Who's Sonny?
Sonny Boy's a jazz.
He's like a blues musician.
Yeah, something like that.
Do we see him too?
Yeah, he'll play halftime.
I think it'll be sold out, man.
I mean, last year when we were in championship,
the games were 9,000, 10,000 people.
Yeah.
And I think that they report the
number to stay within fire code regulations because i was eyeballing it with david schultz
and uh yeah we think there were more people there well because the stands are full and then the end
zones are jammed so you do them and so many people dropping my name at the gates and just being led
into the vip man i should have tried that well we didn't know
each other i know try that next time but you got to bring larry money yeah yeah definitely he wants
to go to some games honestly uh he just had to ask uh he's a great fotm so we'll go wolfpack it's uh
and i i say this but i don't want to get relegated but uh it's better to lose a bunch of games in the
best league than it is to dominate in a tier two league.
I feel the same way.
Like if they finished ninth or tenth on the table,
I'd be happy with that.
I mean, it's a real big jump to go from championship,
which is tier two, to Super League.
Like you're talking about every single player
on every single team is a full-time professional rugby player,
and that's not the case in championship,
and it's definitely not the case in League One.
Right, right.
On your Twitter profile,
you have, it's the Craig Lauzon,
but I don't want to butcher the name by mispronouncing.
Yeah, say it again for me.
Misqua Ginnounini.
Please tell us, what is Misiskwa Ginnu Nini?
Miskwa Ginnu Nini is my Ojibwe name.
Miskwa is red.
Ginnu is a kind of eagle.
And Nini is man.
That's probably where Nini came from.
Miskwa Ginnu Nini.
Yeah, Ginnu.
Ginnu, right.
Okay, got the wrong G there.
Red Eagle Man.
Remember, I can't even say pasta i know
yeah and i'm the craig lozon or the depending how fancy you want to be because there's uh
there's actually there's a craig lozon who's like in vermont who's a hockey player i know he's
ruining your seo yeah but there's also a drummer from ottawa who who early on Facebook got mad at me and sent me a message.
And I was like, dude, that's not my fault.
And he's a drummer.
And all these people are like, I love you on Air Force.
He's like, I don't know what that is.
He's pissed off.
Yeah, because he's a drummer.
Who's older?
I'm older than you.
So it's your name first.
Yeah, exactly.
So he added de to his name.
So he's Craig DeLozon.
Okay.
Well, he can do whatever he wants.
But if you want this Craig, you get to go the or the.
Again, another word like past or past.
We have two pronunciations.
So tell me, you grew up in Ottawa.
So help me.
When do you end up in the big smoke here?
I moved in the summer of 91 or 92.
Oh, you were listening to Pearl Jam's 10.
Yeah. Never Mind by Nirvana was coming out. I was a were listening to Pearl Jam's 10. Yeah.
Never Mind by Nirvana was coming out.
Yeah, I was a big Rage Against the Machine guy.
Oh, I love that self-titled album.
Oh my God, it was so good.
Yeah, so I moved here then
and started trying to act
and I was working at the head office
for Pizza Pizza for a while.
Which is not far from here unless it was in a different location back then.
It used to be on Jarvis and Mount Pleasant.
Okay, they moved it west.
Yeah.
Or Mount Pleasant and what is that, Church?
What is it?
Is it Church?
Yeah.
I don't know.
I only speak west of you.
No, Jarvis.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm struggling.
But it was, no, it's Jarvis, yeah.
It's where they two meet near that castle building for whatever insurance company.
But it was soul-killing.
I met some really nice people there,
but it was the worst job I've ever had in my life.
Is that because you weren't following your passion?
Like, you couldn't, because you wanted to perform, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Well, there's that.
But it was like, you know, 3 o'clock in the morning
when drunk people would call and be like,
my beach is late, I get it for free.
And it's like, you called 10 minutes ago sir no i you know and then i or worse than that word would
be and this is nothing against uh secretaries or nurses but they're under a lot of pressure all the
time um and they would be the ones put in charge of organizing a pizza lunch for everybody and
they would call half an hour before thinking 30 minutes are free
for like a hundred pizzas and we're like well this is gonna take two hours to get there they're like
it says 30 minutes and they would lose their minds on you right uh and you're like i really
apologize you should have we only have so many ovens yeah because you'd have to split you'd have
to split it up between a bunch of different stores. Right, right, right. So you're the pizza pizza was not in your future there.
No,
but so,
so what's your first,
uh,
like performing gig?
Um,
I was in,
uh,
troop.
Um,
I,
I,
I loved kids in the hall and,
um,
and Saturday night live,
all that stuff.
You know,
they're bringing back kids in the hall for a prime TV.
I know.
I so want to get a small part on there.
Like, I know I've worked with most of them at this point.
And Looch Kazmiri, who was an early member, who was a writer on the show.
You wore the towel, right?
No, that was Paul Bellini.
Okay.
Oh, you know what?
This is the guy who worked, correct me if I'm wrong, with Dan Gallagher.
Was this Dan Gallagher's guy
on Test Pattern and everything?
That's him, yeah.
But he had been in one of the two troops
that amalgamated.
I can't remember which one,
but then decided he didn't really want
to be a performer and he wrote.
He's like the sixth kid in the hall.
Yeah, so he's a good buddy of mine,
so I'm going to start dropping things in his ear.
Hey, if you're working on that,
write something for old Craigie.
Amazing.
But I love those guys so much.
So I was in a comedy troupe.
My first comedy troupe
was called
Brace Yourself.
We were ahead of the curve.
I'm ready.
This was in 93,
I think,
when the internet was coming around.
Remember that thing?
Except,
okay, I don't know when it came around.
I was at university when I first had access to it.
It was 94.
So, yeah, probably 93 when it started showing up.
www.funny.com.
There you go.
Yeah.
And then the alt. sort of stole our thing.
It was the alt.com, like alternative comedy.
Oh, right.
At the Rivoli.
Lauren was my agent.
And then we switched the name to
The Willies.
Okay, and they were regional, so this
was a Toronto comedy troupe?
Yeah, it was Jen Goodhue,
who was on...
Oh man, I can't remember. It was what Jessica
Holmes' show became, with Roman Danilo
and all them. What was that show called?
Comedy Inc?
Maybe. Terry McGurn and all them. She was on that show? Comedy Inc? Maybe. Terry McGurn and all them.
She was on that show and then she's now one of the
she's a performer too but she's one of the
writers, the main writers for
Baroness Von Sketch. Oh which is
very good by the way. Oh my god so good. And Max
Veliket who's like a trend hunter
kind of guy. He had his own show called Mr. Jones
for a while on TVO and talked
about trends and all that stuff.
It's all good stuff. Yeah, we had a good time.
So the Willys.
Yeah.
Why did the Willys come to an end?
Why weren't they the next, or the frantics at least, you know,
maybe if they can't be kids in the hall, you can either be the frantics.
Well, and we always wanted people to introduce us as,
ladies and gentlemen, we give you the Willys.
And they never did.
They always said it wrong.
You know, it was one of those things where it was more important to some of us than others of us.
And I had a real problem with people not knowing if you didn't know your lines.
I don't mind ad-libbing.
I mean, I do improv, all that stuff.
But know it so well that you can ad-lib.
Not ad-lib because you don't know what you're supposed to say.
You know what I mean? Yeah, I know you don't know what you're supposed to say you know i mean yeah i know i totally totally know what you um yeah so um and you know max had like a full-time
job and he was working and it just became less of a focus for him and um you know there's rent
to pay and all that stuff and i just would get angry when people wouldn't come to rehearsal and
i was the asshole in the truth am i allowed to say asshole yeah you can swear i can swear oh god i wasn't sure i kept saying gosh i never say gosh oh my gosh i was gonna say oh this
is the gosh guy yeah no i'm not swear away man okay the crtc has no uh power over us oh yeah
fuck those guys yeah fuck the crt yeah um and then i so then i started doing solo stuff um
but i also had a bunch of other troops.
Zebra 3, which I don't know, do you know where Zebra 3 comes from?
What that is?
Okay, let me think on it.
Zebra 3.
Zebra 3.
Well, there was three of us.
I don't know.
It was Samantha Bee from the Samantha Bee show.
She's done all right.
Yeah.
And Matt Watts, who's a genius uh brain guy he uh man anyway
um zebra three was the call sign for starsky and hutch i don't yeah you know what i missed
starsky and hutch by that much ah and then uh and then we were also catch 21 oh i see because it's
one less yeah yeah and catch 22 yes quite there it was was like the one just before that. Zebra 3, man.
Zebra 3, yeah.
Yeah.
I was a Dukes of Hazzard guy.
That's because I'm...
Oh, man.
Yeah, sure.
I had the sheets.
Can't call your troop the General Lee.
Maybe the Daisy Dukes.
Sure, could do that.
Yeah, you can't hear right.
There's a lot about that show you can't really do anymore.
They don't even show it anymore, right?
Because of that, the General Lee.
I didn't know that, but I'm not surprised by that.
But it is amazing how we all grew up with cars, toy cars.
I had a big one and a small one, like a little.
Oh, I was, that was, like, I would, like, you know,
you know how they would go to commercial break,
so, like, the car would be in midair when he goes,
I don't know about you, but I'm worried about the Duke boys, right?
And the narrator, dun-dun-dun, and then they go to commercial,
and they come back, and the car still, it hasn't jumped yet.
I always felt like that was a bit of a cheat. It should
be in the middle of the air when we come back.
Waylon Jennings right? Yeah just a good old boy.
Never meanin' no harm.
Do you remember the name of the
when those two actors
had a contract dispute? Coy and Vance?
Yes. Dude I was there
man. That's when they realized
oh you can't just have two guys that look
like John Schneider and tom
woolpat no and i i mean i love that show so much but i'm not just boss hog but like rascal
yeah and he had the flash the handbag yeah and uh enos yeah and cooter cooter yeah yeah but of
course daisy was my gal like i had uh sheets and uh oh yeah with um i got him at the byway
yeah the sheet set and with a pillowcase with i literally would sleep in a pillowcase with I had sheets. Oh, yeah. I got them at the byway. Yeah.
The sheet set.
And with a pillowcase.
I literally would sleep in a pillowcase with Daisy Duke's face on it.
Oh, that's trouble for any routine.
And then do you remember who the little boss hog was?
Oh, crap.
No.
Remind me.
It's Paul Williams.
Oh, okay.
Who I only knew from The Muppet Show.
Right, right, right, right. Yeah, I love. Well, he was the little Dr. Zah Oh, okay. Who I only knew from the Muppet Show. Right, right,
right,
right.
Yeah,
I love,
well,
he was the little
Dr. Zaius too.
I can't remember
what his name was
on Planet of the Apes,
but.
Oh,
now I'm thinking
of the Simpsons,
Dr. Zaius,
Dr. Zaius.
Dr. Zaius,
yeah,
I love that.
Yeah.
Okay,
so.
I love this conversation,
it's nuts.
I like the tangents.
Yeah,
yeah,
yeah.
I just have to remember
to come back
where I was,
just follow the line back
so the Willys and then the Zebra 3
and all these really cool troops and stuff
maybe keep walking me
through the career of Craig Luthor
well it got to a point where
the same sort of things would keep happening
either people would get other work
or had to take a job job
because of rent and all that stuff
and so I just got tired of having to rely on other people to perform.
Right.
And so I started writing and doing solo pieces.
I had always done sort of solo-ish pieces
within the confines of the troupe,
but then I just started creating characters and writing monologues,
and I became a monologist.
Not a monologuist, as some people say.
I would probably say that.
Yeah, a monologist.
And that was when I got the most sort of heat and buzz
was I got nominated for the Tim Sims,
and Gavin Crawford had just won the year before doing monologues.
So I had a feeling I wasn't going to win.
But not winning kind of helped because the guy that was directing it loved my piece.
It was my Native Wrestler piece.
He loved it.
And he just assumed I was going to win.
And I didn't.
And he was incensed.
And so he fought like hell to get me a special.
Because I'd written a whole one-man show at this point.
And I was touring it around.
And he went to the Comedy Network repeatedly to try and get me my own special.
I guess he was pitching it as some.
Because Gavin had done one with his characters,
but like a comedy now.
And it didn't really translate very well.
Because when on stage,
you can say you're in a garage
and pretending there's a car there and all that stuff,
but on television, you need to see it.
And so he was pitching them to do like a comedy now,
but one up,
like just put put him put the
characters where they're supposed to be instead of just on stage and yeah he did i was i was
literally had made up my mind in my head to quit uh because it had been like a long time and i
wasn't making any money or getting any traction so So basically quitting it like a real job, see if they'll take you back a piece of pizza.
Yeah, I didn't know what, oh God, I can't even imagine.
But yeah, I had no idea because I have no fucking skills.
Well, most of our artists, I think,
reach this point at some point where they're like,
I gotta make money.
It's happened a couple times and that's usually,
you gotta get close to breaking and then stuff happens.
I don't know what it is.
But yeah, he called me one day and he was like,
we got it. I was like, we got it.
I was like, we got what?
Because I'd already told my wife
that I was my wife at the time.
Didn't like being called,
referred to my wife at the time.
I have struggled with that too.
Sometimes I'll say my current wife
and I'm like, that's not nice
to say current wife.
My current wife doesn't like
being called my current wife.
It gets confusing.
Just number them.
So Tracy, my ex-wife, can't remember what I was saying.
Oh, you're talking about how you were going to quit.
Oh, I had already told her that I was quitting and she was supportive.
She's like, okay, well, I don't know what you're going to do,
but let's figure it out.
And then I got the call and I said, i'm gonna have to call you back he's like
are you crying i was like yes and i just hung up and i bawled for about a half an hour then i called
him back and i was like okay tell me what's what's the deal and so i had a one hour special on the
comedy network and it was called ham i am it was the name of my play that i was touring around
and it was all my uh quirky little characters sort of tied into a Walter Mitty,
except for instead of him imagining that he was heroes,
they were all equally as zero as he was.
They were all kind of socially inept.
So this is like your big break because you're on the TV, man.
Yeah, buddy.
And that special got to Roger and Don from Air Farce.
My friend PJ was the IT guy there.
And John Morgan had retired,
and so they were going to bring people on.
And he got them my tape, and they loved it,
and kept bringing me back, and kept bringing me back.
And, you know, 18 years later.
Next thing you know,
you're a member of the Royal Canadian Air Force.
Yeah.
All right.
So if listeners who haven't caught up on all their 595 episodes missed episode 563,
let me tell you about it really quickly here.
In this 563rd episode, Mike chats with Royal Canadian Air Force founder Don Ferguson
about the Air Farce radio show
television series and New Year's
Eve specials that airs
for the final time
on December 30, 2019.
So obviously I'm going to ask about that
but first let me just
it looks like so your first appearance might be
like 2002 and then you get to become
a regular in 04. Yeah.
And remind us some of your more popular caricatures
or characters on the course.
Well, I played a much more handsome Stephen Harper
and a little less handsome George Strombolopoulos.
You know, that's debatable.
I've met Strombol.
You're equally handsome.
Oh, well, he looks like a madman right now.
I keep bumping into him on the street,
and he's just always live streaming.
Yeah.
And his hair is crazy, and he's got a big beard.
He's going through that post-Hockey Night in Canada
freedom period where...
He was high and tight there for Shaved and Tapered.
He's letting his freak flag fly now.
But, yeah, I played them.
So you do a George Strong...
So tell me what that entails. You talk closely, and how do you do a George so tell me what that entails
you just
you talk closely
and like
how do you do a strombone
well most of my impressions
weren't really
voice impressions
like they wouldn't be
as good on the radio
most of the time
but
it was mostly about
physicality
like George
would always
when he was doing his
the hour
he was always like
sitting on the arm of the chair,
sitting in the chair with his feet up or, you know.
So we just kind of went crazy with that
and I'd be like lying upside down on the chair.
And when I got all done up like him,
we kind of looked alike.
His mother loved it.
I also did Ben Mulrooney.
Ben Mulrooney and he didn't like it.
Oh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's disappointing.
You think you'd have a sense of humor about caricatures.
Yeah, you'd think.
It's like being roasted.
Sure.
I always liked being roasted.
Like I'm flirting with an idea for a TMLX
where people sign up to roast me.
Right.
Is there anything better than that?
No, that'd be great.
Yeah.
And I played Justin Trudeau as well.
Right.
And I think he didn't mind it,
but here's one thing I'll say about him.
Yeah.
Other than, you know, he's a dick
for a myriad of reasons.
But least of which is...
Which I'll come back to everybody listening,
I guess.
Sure, yeah.
It's mostly to do with Indigenous stuff.
So I had been playing him on the show
for a couple of years,
and this was
before he became prime minister he was um i think he was just an mp at the time he might have been
running for leadership but anyway we tried to get him on the show and it just didn't work out with
his schedule he really wanted to do it and then he sent in this was in an email keeping in mind
that uh his wife um sophie gregoire, is a recovering bulimic.
I think everyone knows that.
She had an eating disorder.
So that'll make sense in a second.
He sent an email saying that he really wished he could do the show.
He loves the show.
And he was disappointed that he couldn't do the show because the guy that they have playing me is so fat.
Wow.
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
I'm shocked.
Yeah.
So that's why I think he's mostly a dick.
At least it's not even done in a clever, funny way.
Like he didn't.
Yeah.
You know, that's just being a dick.
Like maybe he thought he was being funny.
But also in Quebec, there's a weird thing.
Like I don't know that the word, although he's totally bilingual,
but there's not really a good translation for it.
And so they always say fat, even though they might mean husky or thicker
or whatever it is.
Right, right, right.
They always say fat.
My family is like brutal that way.
But his, you know,
that excuse, you know,
from a different culture,
from being French, Canada,
gets tossed around as an excuse
for lots of things Trudeau does.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And, you know,
he's about as, whatever,
he's completely bilingual.
Now, you tweeted,
I'm going to read a tweet.
Oh, boy. It might even be your pinned tweet.
I have some harsh tweets.
Hey, Justin Trudeau, quit apologizing and step
into the ring with me.
We'll raise money and donate that to something worthy.
Now, hashtag Skoden.
Skoden, yeah.
Hashtag thank you for your donation.
Hashtag boxing.
Hashtag native Twitter. Hashtag thank you for your donation Hashtag boxing Hashtag native twitter
Hashtag mercury poisoning
Hashtag
Boxing Ontario
Please now that you have more characters to speak with
Why don't you tell us all
Forget the fact that he's a dick
Policy wise
As a proud
Indigenous man what are your issues with Justin Trudeau?
Well,
that one in particular was,
uh,
that was the,
uh,
it was that he was speaking at a dinner and then he,
um,
uh,
there was a native protester there and he,
he made some kind of,
it was so long ago that one now,
uh,
but it was a quip about basically saying,
well,
in order to be,
have been in that room,
they must've made some type of donation.
And he's like, thank you for your donation,
like as if to say, fuck off and get out of here.
Flip it.
Yeah.
And he's always apologizing about everything.
Instead of doing anything about stuff,
he's always apologizing for not having done the thing that...
Like when he got elected,
I remember there was a cautious optimism
across the Native community.
They're like, oh, well, he's saying
that he's going to do all these things,
like, you know, drinkable water, whatever.
It sounds reasonable to me.
You know, whatever.
Education.
And because all things to do with reserves
and First Nations people are federal level,
which is why their schools all suck
and which is why their infrastructure just suffers
because administrations change
and the priority of Native people gets up and down
depending on who's in power.
And by the time they get back to it,
you know, like Harper was in power for, what, 11 years?
14 years?
10, I think.
And, you know, so over that time like they just
did nothing and the education system falls way down and uh anyway so uh he's just uh
he's one of those guys that's like yeah yeah let's get together uh and then they never call
you whatever you know like that kind of thing and so he he says all the right things right but then he doesn't fucking do a thing i remember the final tragically hip concert
in kingston which yep you know many of us watched sure i have a chenny wenjack behind you uh because
gord uh in the final years of his life uh indigenous rights and and very high priority for
him and he made that you know, Justin was there.
And I still remember that he said something about how we're in good hands.
He's going to fix this.
And, you know, Justin kind of stands there nodding.
But now we're now, what, almost four years removed from this.
What would you say about that?
Is that?
Well, that's more of the same, right?
Like he was like, yeah, you know, what's more of the same, right? Like he, he was like,
yeah,
you know,
I,
what's his big quote
that somebody else
just said it again.
It's like,
there's no more
important relationship
with the Canadian
government than that
with the First Nations
people or the
Indigenous people.
Is the problem,
this other line I once
heard,
which is no Canadian
election has been
decided on Indigenous
rights.
Like this, this is not a wedge issue that causes anyone to vote or not vote for a federal party.
A real big reason for that is that most of Canada doesn't really know any of those issues.
If most of Canada knew about things like how many boil advisories are that there are,
how many reserves don't have clean water,
how many reserves don't have a school.
You know,
there's,
there's communities where they're,
they're temporary fixes like,
Oh,
we'll send four portables to that community to do school.
And 25 years later,
that's still the school.
You've got mail.
You know, they just, they don't,
it doesn't affect them daily.
So they don't, and they don't know about them.
I still run into people that have no clue
about residential schools.
Okay, let's do this.
I can come back.
I'm going to come back to the Air Force
and we're going to continue.
I want to ask about an unsafe space and some different,
and because news.
Oh man,
unsafe space.
Okay.
All right.
So we're going to talk a little about this,
but let's,
okay.
I can't,
I can't promise I'll deliver this entire country,
but I do know,
you know,
tens of thousands of people are listening to you right now.
Would you mind taking a moment and educating?
Cause you're right.
It's probably an education issue, like a lack of awareness but some of the uh key uh indigenous issues if you
will well the the big thing is more it's oh well it's more the the and then i'll send an invoice
for that chair yeah sure it's more the um like the true sense of the word ignorance. Not that someone's being disrespectful or hateful,
but ignorant in that they don't know.
And so residential schools were,
like I was doing a play with Lorne Cardinal,
he's my best friend,
and we were touring around the show
and it was about residential school survivors.
And a guy stood up at one point and said that
he had been a teacher at a residential school. And at their school, this kind of thing didn't
happen. And I'm sure that that's true. I'm sure that there are instances of schools that were
run well and run properly and run with love. However, the fact that these kids were taken away,
not sent by their parents,
but taken from their parents and forced to be at that school with no contact
from their parents for 10 months of the year,
like they would send them home for,
for,
uh,
the summer holiday.
And if the parents didn't send them would be arrested and sent to jail and so regardless of how good an
education they got regardless of how well they were treated at the school they're still being
forced to do it and they're they were still being taken from their parents taken from their
communities and sometimes you're talking about thousands of miles uh it's a big country you know if you're being taken away from the paw
and brought down to like i don't know brandon like that's a big distance right um and you know
but the fact of the matter is a lot of horrible things did happen at a lot of those schools
and the other thing that i hear sometimes for people that do know,
there's like,
man,
but that was,
you know,
get over it.
You know,
you know,
that's not now.
And it's like the last residential school closed in 1996.
Like that's not that long ago.
Nope.
And if you think about how long it takes things to turn around, you know, there's only been, what is that, 20 years?
96, 2006.
24.
Yeah, 24 years.
Like that's, 24 years is not a big jump, like in terms of how much time it takes for things to change, you know.
And for people to not have that trauma in their lives.
Like there's still, you know,
Lorne Cardinal went to residential school when he was a kid.
He's, you know, he's my age, a little bit older.
Still handsome, but a little bit older.
But it's, you know, and then there was the you know
there's also the idea that that native people get everything for free they just you know they get
i don't know what it is people think they get a check for 10 grand every year or something from
the government and that it's their taxpayer money that pays for all these things well that's sheer
ignorance because if they looked into it at all that money is from
a trust that was set up from the treaties that's money owed to first nations people to inuit people
to metis people it's money that was supposed to be paid for the the the the other side of those
treaties and most of those treaties were not even recognized like they
were they were you know they were signed and then forgotten about but the money that people think
is their taxpayer money is money that the government owes and if every first nation
and every community in the north decided hey hey, we want all our money.
Like, it would bankrupt the country.
It's trillions of dollars. Like, you're talking about interest over 100 years or 150 years.
And so it's not taxpayer money.
It's not free money.
It's money that we were paid by the government for certain things.
When you get, you you get people saying that,
regarding the residential schools,
oh, that's, get over it, that's way back,
24 years ago, right?
Which is not that long ago.
But what is exactly,
these people would ask you,
24 years ago,
what do you want us to do now to make this better?
How do you fix this now? Well, I mean, like, what do you want us to do now to make this better? Like, how do you fix this now?
Well, I mean, you, how do you, I mean, how do you fix trauma?
I mean, that's, you know, I don't think that's answerable.
But I know that just an apology from the government,
from a guy who didn't want to be giving it to begin with isn't great, you know.
And, you know, maybe it's patience.
Maybe it's just understanding it more.
You know, I feel like there was one of the things that Rob Ford,
or not Rob Ford, Doug Ford did that not a lot of people knew about
when he rolled back the sex education mandate that was coming through.
There was also rolled up in that was an Indigenous education program
that had already been vetted and all the work had already been done.
It just had to be rolled out.
And it was to teach these things about Canadian history
that they don't fucking teach in school that have happened for 200 years
so that people can start understanding
why things are the way they are.
You know, why Native people are angry.
Why there's rampant alcoholism in some communities.
Why, you know, it's like, it's...
And then, so when he rolled back to sex education,
they also canned that program.
And, you know, I remember growing up, like, I grew up in Ottawa with my mother.
My mother's a British immigrant.
And so I didn't really, I wasn't connected to my community at all, my native community.
And so all I learned about in school was Louis Riel and the War of 1812.
Exactly right.
And that was it.
Nothing else.
So, you know, there's a play called The Tomb of the Vanishing Indian, written by Marie Clements.
And she wrote it because she was researching a different play and was going to this, there's a museum in Santa Fe
or New Mexico or something.
And she would interview people that were going in and coming out,
asking them why they came to this particular museum.
Like, what was their interest?
And nine times out of ten, it was because they wanted to learn
about someone, like a people that no longer exists.
Like they were Vikings orings or something you know
and and she's like you know that native people still exist right like we're still here
right which was what spurred the whole we're still here movement that happened i guess was about eight
years ago we're still here it's like we're here man like we and you know things that happen like
with this pipeline that was you know one of the other things that Trudeau...
Because the private company wasn't being able to do it,
the government bought the pipeline
so that it became a federal governmental thing.
So the assumption is that eventually it's going to happen.
But, you know, the amount of land... Like, Canada is fucking huge. What is it, the amount of land, like Canada is fucking huge.
What is it, the second largest?
Yeah, I think Russia, then us, I think.
Yeah, second largest.
And still they have to, they find a way that,
oh, we have to go right through this community with this pipeline.
It's like, we have less than 1% of the land mass
in a country that we used to roam free in.
And this is where you've said we have to be here
this reserve is where you have to be you need to settle here even if your people were nomadic and
followed meat around and food around uh this is where you have to stay regardless of the year the
time of the year if it's too cold and so you know cut forward to now and it's like oh this this got
to go right through here it's like right through here like right through our watershed right through everything it's bad enough you're going to do it
anyway but why does it have to go right through our community now it's one thing to say a lot of
canada's ignorant but i think it beyond that i think a lot of uh canadians who know these facts
for some reason uh don't seem to care well it's it's jobs right right? And there's even, there's First Nations communities,
there's First Nations leaders who are the same way.
They're like, yeah, we should be doing this.
And they're just worried about the immediate right now,
feeding my family.
That's what a lot of it comes down to is jobs.
It's money, you know, and the companies for them,
it's just money, money for that level.
It's money to feed my family, to heat my house, to them, it's just money, money. For that level, it's money to feed my family,
to heat my house, to survive.
It's jobs.
Hilarious segment, Mike.
No, listen.
This is the real talk because at least now,
listeners of Toronto Mike have been educated.
You mentioned growing up in Ottawa
and it was with your mom who was from Britain.
So how did you connect?
Well, and you know, I often get asked to speak about Native issues and stuff like that.
And I never feel really comfortable doing it because I didn't grow up in that community.
My dad is First Nations.
We didn't have a great relationship.
First Nations. We didn't have a great relationship. He was a person who could pass for maybe not necessarily like a white, white guy, but no one was like, hey, that's that Indian guy. Get him
out of here. So he was a Quebecer. He wasn't, if you asked him what he was, he'd say a Quebecer. He
wouldn't say Ojibwe. He wouldn't say First Nations. For him, growing up when he did, that was something
to be ashamed of. And so, you know, I, we always knew that we were, I always knew that I was.
I asked him about it a few times and he was just like, he would get mad. He'd be like, why, like, why do you want to know about that?
It makes you less.
And so because I didn't get along with him and because it was something that he didn't
want, I was like, I need to find out about this.
Right.
So, uh, yeah.
So I, I just started, you know, reaching out to, to the community.
It was more when I moved to Toronto and, um, you know, I started, I started meeting other, because I didn't even really know
other First Nations people in Ottawa.
There's tons in the community, but they just
weren't where I was.
Because now, I mean, we talked off the top
about the Twitter name.
So, for example, you've
adopted a Ojibwe
name. When in your
life does that happen?
I got it through ceremony.
I was meeting with an elder for a couple of years,
just off and on, just to talk about stuff
and to find out about my people and things like that.
And he named me.
So, yeah. And he told me i was also bear clan so
i'm bear clan and um i my ojibwe name is red eagle man so and i'm proud of it i i wish that my dad
could have been proud of it i see ink uh spilling out from the rugby shirt. So who am I looking at there?
I have three faces tattooed on my left arm.
This one is Big Bear.
Then there's another one that is Tecumseh.
Sure.
And then another one that is Poundmaker.
Yeah, these are three names I still remember from primary school.
Yeah, because Tecumseh gathered the nations for the War of 1812.
That's another thing that a lot of people don't know.
Like, well, they always say, oh, Canada kicked the Americans' ass in the War of 1812.
What they don't know, most of the time, is that that army, it was considered a British army.
Sure.
But that army was about 95% to 99% First Nations warriors.
Yeah, I had no idea.
I assumed it was mainly British.
No, there were hardly any British soldiers here because at the same time, Michael, the
Napoleonic War was happening, which was much more important to them.
So they just sent over Isaac Brock and then...
Yeah.
So there were people stationed here, but they were all skeleton crews, you know,
like the forts were all manned by just enough people
to keep it running.
And so Tecumseh gathered thousands of people together
from nations that were traditionally not even friendly.
It's never happened...
Well, it feels like it's been coming close,
but it had never happened before
and it hasn't happened since,
that people that normally war against each other
were together on this.
Because they were promised a tract of land.
There would have been a third country.
Kind of, there was also,
this whole thing that Alberta had with the Buffalo,
whatever they called it,
Buffalo something, the Buffalo man,
it was their it was their uh
okay what's that thing that you call uh i'm uh failing you here manifesto their little manifesto
that they had it was called the buffalo something okay but there was a similar so there was a
tract of land um there was a an earlier in before confederation there was a talk of making Alberta, Nunavut area, or Northwest Territories, Alberta and Saskatchewan into one province called Buffalo.
But the First Nations were promised something similar that would have been part of Saskatchewan and Alberta down into the Dakotas.
that would have been part of Saskatchewan and Alberta down into the Dakotas.
So it would have been a large country
inside of these two countries
that would have been all First Nations land.
But because there was not a declared winner
of the War of 1812,
it was a ceasefire.
Right.
It wasn't honored.
And in fact, the warriors who are also
supposed to be paid what the soldiers
would have been getting paid, didn't get paid.
See,
hearing you, because I had no idea that the majority
of our
army, I guess, were
First Nations people. Yeah, it was an army.
So we, hearing that,
and then, I don't understand, so we should
have utmost respect for our First Nations people.
Like, this is how it should be wired.
It sure should.
But meanwhile,
meanwhile,
for example,
we have with the national anti,
before COVID-19,
the hot topic was
the national anti-pipeline protests.
Right.
But, you know,
the results,
I was shocked to learn
basically more racism
targeting Indigenous peoples
as a result of the pipeline protests.
Yeah, right.
The world's fucked up, right?
It sure is.
It really is, man.
Like, you know, you think about Oka, what happened?
Right.
It was a fucking golf course.
They wanted to build a golf course.
Why does it have to be right there again?
This is like right on native land.
And it's like, you've got a whole province,
you know,
like we've got sections that are so small that you've made us be on.
Now you want to use it.
And it was like,
it was a burial ground.
That was the other thing.
So it's sacred ground.
Yeah.
And they want to build a freaking golf course.
So,
so rich people can play golf because it was going to be a private club,
not like a city club,
you know?
So I know you don't
have an answer to the the big question of how i i know i asked it early and there's no answer how
do you fix this like like how do you know it's 2020 and and how do we get to where we should be
yeah what's the path yeah i feel like the the path is growing over like the the thing that is
happening right now uh is the exact opposite of what we need to be happening right now.
So there's no longer conversations.
There's no longer debates, like honest, real debates.
There's no dialogues.
It's just, I'm right, you're wrong.
Is it too politicized?
Like, almost like climate change, where now it's almost difficult to talk to about climate change, about politicizing it.
Like, it's like, of all the things to politicize yeah i mean you know what's the even if climate change isn't real what's the downside
to to being better to the earth right what's the downside you know i'm with you man and and who are
in in i mean 99 percent of climate scientists say it's real so who the hell am i who are we in? And I mean, 99% of climate scientists say it's real.
So who the hell am I?
Who are you?
Who am I to tell those professionals,
experts that they're wrong?
Yeah.
I just saw,
you know,
when you see these islands of floating plastic in the middle of the ocean,
it's just like that.
You don't think that that's a problem,
regardless of whether or not you think climate change is a thing.
That's a problem.
The, I saw a meme today on facebook yeah and it said uh had like a picture of einstein or whatever it said um what what can change science and it just said
better science and then on bottom i had another picture of of einstein that said not your opinion your feelings your right your wish
yeah it is what it is yeah science is science man right you know until it's proven otherwise
by through more science just like religion doesn't uh make science right or wrong
now now that i got you all riled up. Yeah, man. These are the important issues.
I feel like I need one of these beer now.
I riled you up because now I want to ask
about something that's got everyone pissed off as well.
I want to hear your real talk on this.
How much time do we have left?
Well, I guess I should have warned you,
but normally these things go 90 minutes.
Oh, shit.
Okay, so I can drink a beer.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, I got time.
Do you want one from the fridge?
Yes. Because we have a spectator. Okay. Oh, hey. Could you go in so I can drink a beer. Oh yeah, yeah. Okay, I got time. And do you want one from the fridge? Yes.
Because we have a spectator.
Okay.
Oh, hey.
Could you go in my fridge and grab a beer for this gentleman?
People are wondering who I'm talking to.
Yeah, you can't miss it if you...
Watch your head.
Yep.
I should tell the people there's a guy here.
I'll keep you anonymous, okay, I guess.
We'll call him P.
Okay, that's his initials.
That's his rap name, Anonymous P.
Who's the rapper who tried out for the Raptors? Something P. Okay, that's his initials. That's his rap name. Anonymous P. Who's the rapper who tried out for the Raptors?
Something P.
Is it P. Diddy?
No.
I don't know basketball.
He wasn't P. Diddy.
My friend Shane Belcourt is a huge basketball fan.
He'd be upset that I don't know.
You're a rugby guy.
Is it Drake?
It's not Drake.
Drake's a terrible basketball player.
Yeah.
I've seen him shoot a three.
Okay, so I can't remember the rapper's name, but it's going to kill me later.
But okay.
There's a gentleman who was asked to sit in on an episode of Toronto Mike.
Right.
So, he's been sitting there.
So, we are.
Very quietly.
Quietly, yeah.
I can't forget that he's there, actually.
I know.
Well, I can't forget because he's right in my, I'm staring at him the whole time.
Oh, right, yeah, yeah.
When I should be looking at you.
But, and now he's come in handy,
although he can't find my fridge.
He's looking for beer.
I think I just heard a fridge.
Okay.
Now I want him to get me one.
I feel...
Did you...
Oh, can I have the octopus?
Sure.
So if you want the...
Okay.
Sure.
Craig, if you want the octopus,
he can go up and get you a second one.
Which one is it?
Oh, it's a porter.
So if you want...
Okay.
So Peter, I hate to do this to you.
I just revealed your secret identity. Could you get another octopus instead of the... Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We porter. So do you want, okay. Okay, so Peter, I hate to do this to you. I just revealed your secret identity.
Could you get another octopus instead of the hairy, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're going to eat you.
And crack it open on the mic.
Okay.
Do you want me to wait for you so we can go ch-ch-ch?
Oh, yeah, yeah, if you wouldn't mind.
My wife loves porter.
Well, bring that home for, we'll get one for you there.
There's a couple of porters in here.
Yeah, that's okay.
That's the Canuck Pale Ale you just cracked out.
It's just the, I call it the, yeah, that's right.
The Harry Porter.
I hope the lawyers don't file a season decision.
They must have gotten.
No way would Harry Potter give Great Lakes Brewery permission.
Whiskey Jack.
Yeah.
Is Whiskey Jack a dude?
Talk to me.
Is Whiskey Jack a dude?
It's a band, like a bluegrass kind of.
It's a town too, right?
Whiskey Jack on 2. Oh, okay. Oh It's a town too, right? Whiskey Jack.
Oh, okay.
Oh, thank you so much.
I love having an unpaid intern in the room.
Yeah, thank you so much.
Okay, so ready?
Three, two, one.
Okay.
Cheers to you, Craig.
Cheers, buddy.
Now that we've done the real talk,
and now I'm going to ask a big question,
but Whiskey Jack, you mentioned, if I may,
there's a book here I have for you
called My Good Times
of Stompin' Tom.
That was written
by Duncan Fremlin.
He is,
I know him as Banjo Dunk.
He's in Whiskey Jack.
Okay.
And I have,
if I can find my details,
yes, okay,
so Whiskey Jack
presents stories
and songs
of Stompin' Tom
Thursday,
April 16,
2020 from 7.30 to 9.30 p.m. at Zoomer Hall present Stories and Songs of Stompin' Tom, Thursday, April 16, 2020,
from 7.30 to 9.30 p.m.
at Zoomer Hall.
So go get your tickets to see Whiskey Jack,
and there'll be some special guests. Is that in Liberty Village?
Yes, it is.
Right across, you know where it is.
It's right in there, Insight, yeah.
No, I was going to say,
it's across from the rugby.
Oh, it's from the football, or the rugby, yeah, yeah.
Right, Lamport Stadium.
Now, hold on.
But Whiskey Jack is actually, for lack of a better term,
a bastardization of a native word.
What's the native word, do you know?
Wisagachuk.
Oh, I didn't know I didn't know that.
This is the album that FOTM Tom Wilson put out
when he realized he was adopted.
He was a Mohawk man, and he thought he was an Irish guy.
I just did, I just, I hosted the Inspire Awards in Ottawa,
and Tom was a performer.
Tom, I wish I could talk like Tom.
He does a really deep one.
Him and Iskwe.
Do you know Iskwe?
No.
She's a Chanteuse.
She's going to be at the Junos this year.
Okay.
Shout out to Iskwe.
Shout out.
And Tom Wilson.
Okay, so the reason I bring up,
why am I bringing up,
I didn't mean,
I'm not bringing up because he's Mohawk, but.
Sure, I bet you that's why you did it.
No, because he,
and I don't know if it's announced,
if I'm allowed to say it,
but it looks like he's going to be
a special guest of Whiskey Jack.
Oh, really?
On April 16th at Zoomer Hall.
Well, tell him I said hi.
So that's why I wanted to bring up Tom Wilson.
And you're living in Toronto?
I live in Toronto.
West End?
Yeah, no, I live at, should I say?
What's your address?
Well, you can give the neighborhood.
I live at Queen and John, right near Mutch.
That's where Speaker's Corner was, man.
It sure was.
I loved that.
And now there's the Comedy Corner, which isn't really on the corner.
But that's why they called it that.
Oh, you know, and I don't play favorites when it comes to the cable conglomerates
but they got rid of a lot of the cool stuff
Moses built at that location.
Yeah,
they sure did,
yeah.
And it's,
still got the truck coming out of the wall
but that's about it.
They had to change it.
no,
it's Bell Media.
It's Bell Media,
yeah,
yeah,
yeah.
That's why.
But no more.
I'm with Rogers.
What are you with?
For what?
Like,
I don't know anything.
I have my phone with Rogers.
We're trying to shit on Bell here, aren't we? Okay. I have my TV and my internet with Bell. What are you with? For what? I don't know anything. I have my phone with Rogers. We're trying to shit on Bell here,
aren't we?
Okay.
I have my TV
and my internet with Bell.
Really?
Yeah.
Well, I have Bell 5.
Wasn't that like a million dollars a month?
No, I got a deal
for 110 bucks a month
and it was cheaper
than what I was paying for Rogers.
Wow, that does sound like a deal.
You get to watch TV
for 110 dollars a month?
And I get the internet.
The internet's in there too.
Oh, yeah.
And you know what?
The weird thing is
the home phone is in there.
I've never plugged it in.
And I said, hey, I don't need the home phone.
You know what they told me?
It's in the package.
They said, if we take it out, your price goes up.
This is what they told me.
And I was like, oh, we're all adults here.
Did you realize what you just said is silly?
None of them.
They all piss me off.
Because I was with Bell, and then I switched to Rogers,
and they're just all the same.
They probably just have the same phone room.
It's just like Fudd Beer and Duff Beer.
It comes out of the same thing.
That's right, the three of three.
It's just like one guy that answers the phone for both of them.
But there's a channel on Sportsnet World
that shows all the rugby a fellow would want to watch,
and probably some AFL too,
which I'm also in love with.
It's the Australian Football League.
Okay.
That's even different games, crazy.
But it's $20 a month just to have that channel.
Yeah, that's insane, right?
Because I was like, I should get that channel.
Is it because you had to build up to a tier
where you could get it?
Because I had this issue,
I wanted to see my Raptor games.
So I just wanted the one channel.
Just the one channel.
Yeah, you can't do Alucard. No I just wanted the one channel. Just the one channel. Yeah.
You can't do Alucard.
No,
I wanted,
I think it was a TSN two.
I went,
I wanted TSN two because they were putting a bunch of Raptor games on TSN two.
And I want,
I'm wearing a Raptor shirt right now.
I wanted to watch my Raptor stuff.
And I think I had to get to a different,
like a different level of cable in order to get it.
Like I couldn't just go spend like five bucks a month or whatever,
whatever the hell they charge for it.
I was like,
you can have,
like however many channels I have,
like the,
say it's a hundred channels,
you can have 50 of them
and just give me the one.
That's gotta be a good trade somewhere.
I think we're living in a digital ghetto.
Like I think we're just,
I'm all,
you got me riled up
on so many issues now.
Yeah, I know.
You know what it does?
It forces people to pirate stuff.
No, it really does push you into piracy.
Remember those DVDs where you'd put the DVD in your DVD player?
Do you remember DVD players?
Oh, geo-blocked?
No, it would start with a big FBI warning,
and then there'd be these unskippable trailer-type things, okay?
I think you would end up with like five minutes of stuff
you couldn't skip
before you could get to your movie.
To me, that was like,
okay, no, go steal this movie.
If you steal a movie, you can just see the movie
instead of this five minutes you can't skip.
It's like, why are you paying?
Anyway, it's all pushing your piracy.
You're going to say private piracy.
I was going to say privacy.
That's a whole different thing here. Why was I asking where you live? Because I was going to say private but i was going to say privacy that's a whole different thing here
i wanted to why was i asking where you live because i was going to suggest if you have
any questions about toronto real estate and this is for all fotms and this is very important so
prick up your ears please text toronto mike all one word to five nine five five nine that is uh
austin keitner from the keitner Group. They've partnered with Toronto Mic'd to
fuel the real talk and I sincerely believe
Austin can help you out. Good guy. You can ask
him anything. You have no obligation to do anything.
But you can engage him and it would
do the show a great favor
by texting Toronto Mic'd
to 59559. So do that
now. You done it?
And then come back and learn that I'm giving Craig
one more gift here did i
didn't give you your toronto mike sticker yet oh yeah i put you use it as a bookmark i had it in
the book yeah right so that's not you got uh banjo don't book you got a toronto mike sticker like
the old school mike yes my wife designed that logo it's her how do we say like now she's you
know you can see the logo in the wild i'm like you you must be very proud of that logo she's
sort of indifferent i don't know but. But that is from StickerU
and you can get,
these decals are from StickerU.
You can get,
I got badges for TMLX.
You can get stickers,
any quantity.
You just upload the image.
Fantastic people.
They're in Liberty Village
and speaking of Liberty Village
and really great partners of the show.
So thank you, StickerU.
Now let's get you back, Craig,
to the air first.
Okay. Sure. Now, how come you didn back, Craig, to the air first, okay?
Sure.
Now, how come you didn't go with Etobicoke, Mike?
You're like Seth Bullock out here.
I want the right to move around in the city.
Is anybody taking you to task on that?
Well, Etobicoke is Toronto.
Oh, are you suggesting I'm not Toronto, Mike, because I live in Etobicoke?
I was born in Toronto.
Oh, okay.
And I have lived a good bulk of my life in Toronto.
Where is this Mimico?
Where are we? You're in New Toronto, which Toronto. Where is this Mimico? Where are we?
You're in New Toronto, which is between Long Branch and Mimico.
Oh, okay.
Close to Mimico.
Mimico Mike sounds good, though.
Mimico Mike is too limiting.
I need the whole GTA at my disposal here.
So, who's calling me here?
Oh, Freddie P is calling from the Humble and Friends show.
But, okay.
Let's talk to him on the air here.
Their show is somewhere around here, too, isn't it? I produce their show. Then we've met before, I think. No. I've and Friends show. But okay. Let's talk to him on the air here. Their show is somewhere around here too, isn't it?
I produced their show.
Didn't we meet before, I think.
No.
I've done his show.
I would never forget meeting you in those.
Those big muscles.
But I had a guy,
I'm going to read it,
I'm going to just quickly before I get back there.
I had a guy after an episode recently DM'd me.
He's a listener.
And he wrote,
I took a note on this.
He wrote,
he's been following the breadcrumbs on the show and i should not fear coming out of the closet this was the dm i got
from a listener because i have complimented male guests on their physical appearance like if someone
has good hair or something i say you got good hair i know because i and i realized i just was about to
say you got big muscles and i'm like that guy that guy's going to be DMing me again.
Sure.
Like, what's that about?
Why does that even matter?
Because you think somebody is attractive,
it means you want to sleep with them.
I think Brad Pitt's pretty hot.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Goddamn right he is.
I love Inglorious Bastards.
Sure.
That's a great one.
There's a new show on Amazon Prime called Hunters.
Yes.
With Al Pacino.
Yes.
And I watch it, and I'm enjoying it
and it reminds me of Inglourious Basterds.
I've only watched the first episode.
But I want to keep watching it.
But I'm not allowed to watch it without my wife.
I have shows like that too.
And she's in Saskatoon right now.
Right.
So that's balls.
She's running back to Saskatoon.
Okay.
Air farce.
Why the hell was the 2019 New Year's Eve special the fuck,
like, why is that it?
Like, I talked, you know, because Don Ferguson
is very diplomatic and kind about it and says,
what a great run.
He says all the right things.
What a great run.
You know, we're lucky we had so many years or whatever.
But meanwhile, I'm like, the ratings are still good.
Yeah.
You're not even putting this on new
year's eve anymore i think it was december it was on december 30th which is like insane when
you think about it you talk now i i want to hear why you think it's over oh mike i don't know you
know the i never understand why any of that stuff happens when the show was taken off the air as a
regular series um they said that and it was still getting great
numbers at the time as well right uh it was getting better numbers than other shows that
were left on uh like 22 minutes for example there's a perception and i love 22 i love i love
all those guys they're friends right um um but there's a perception that uh the audience for air farce skews older
and that the audience for 22 skews younger and that perception i think comes from when they
started when 22 started they were all young guys and young women and when when air farce
got their show they were all like you you know, a little older. Right.
And so,
um,
I think that might've been true when they first started and they both started around the same time too,
on,
on,
on air,
uh,
on,
on television.
Um,
but really that changed over the years.
Uh,
I felt like our material when,
when was becoming a little bit more reverent,
the way it had been on the radio,
um, other radio stuff was like, when it was becoming a little bit more reverent, the way it had been on the radio,
the other radio stuff was like,
this one was really biting and really great.
And you get on TV and you don't want to lose the audience and you don't want to say things to upset people necessarily.
And so, but I feel like in the later years,
our material was getting edgy and dark again.
And 22's was getting a little bit more soft.
And, you know, I think there's waves and stuff like that.
And they were doing more of a sketch comedy show.
When it first came on, it was supposed to be a news parody show, 22 Minutes.
And they started doing more and more.
Because it was parodied after this hour.
What was that?
Whatever the CBC show was.
Yeah, this hour is 30 minutes or this hour.
What was it?
I can't remember.
Yeah, but it was an old news.
Right, this hour or something.
I can't remember.
Yeah, anyway.
And so the thought was that we skewed older uh for audience and they wanted younger
audience members so okay we and i got that i was like definitely i mean the joke was always that
you know grandparents when i whenever i met someone young and they said oh i used to watch
your show and i would say with your grandparents and they'd be like, yeah. So, you know, I got it.
And I think, you know, Don got it.
And then we were replaced with the Ron James Show.
And Ronnie's a buddy.
But he's older than Don.
Yeah, he skews older, for sure.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah.
And it's a one-person show.
And, like, it was just a weird. But that show's gone now, too, right? It sure is, yeah. They canceled that one, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah. And it's a one-person show, and it was just a weird...
But that show's gone now too, right?
It sure is, yeah.
They canceled that one a couple years back.
You know, if they'd replaced it with Baroness,
or they'd replaced it with The Tall Boys,
or something like that, I would have gotten that.
Yeah, Bruce McCullough's new work at The Tall Boys.
Yeah.
Like, if they'd been replaced with one of those kind of shows,
I'd have been, oh yeah, I get it.
You know, it's something completely different.
Were you a particularly expensive show
like i'd have no idea cheap i mean in studio sketch comedy they're building sets and at the
time it was like cbc right so it's all um they're all unionized right all that stuff so it wasn't it
wasn't a cheap show um in terms of uh that kind of show for sure. But is it for sure done? Like, I know they've said that was the last New Year's Eve special.
And I don't know what Don told you about how it went down,
but they didn't, they were just saying,
yeah, we're not bringing you back.
And so, like, and the sort of,
they probably knew that a long time ago.
So he was like, well, why didn't you tell us that
last year like when we did our whole one hour special that we could have made something of it
and and said this is the last one you know it's going to be on new year's like that time it was
on new year's and it was a one hour special and it was the full there was the full boat you know
they could have really made a whole big deal of it instead they you know tell us you
know a few months before they were you know almost too late to do something and they're like well
you know we're not bringing you back he's like we've had this audience for like 40 years your
audience cbc like that show brought millions and millions of viewers to CBC and listeners.
Like they did, there was a four year overlap where they were doing the radio show and the TV show because they didn't want to let go of the radio show.
Right.
It was the highest rated show on both platforms, you know, like millions of people.
That's playoff hockey numbers.
Yeah.
playoff hockey numbers yeah the only thing that used to get higher numbers than the new year's eve show uh was uh hockey night in canada but not even hockey night in canada coach's corner
god bless um but uh it was crazy and so they they said okay well we can offer you this and it was
like way not enough money to do a show but and I think they were doing it so that Don would go,
you know what, nevermind.
Instead he was like, okay.
They're like, okay.
He's like, yeah, we'll figure it out.
So we shot for two days in a little pie in the sky studio,
green screen room.
And it was mostly a best of.
And we did a few pieces that were topical as the show
was always topical right and that was it man it was so uh unceremonious but at least it was a
chance for them him and luba especially to say goodbye to the audience and say thank you for
tuning in after all these years so remind me in addition to uh and Luba, who were the final members of the troupe there?
Like that were on the show?
Yeah, on Ear Fars.
Like yourself?
Okay, so yeah, Daryl Hines.
Very funny, really sweet guy.
I love him.
He loves Lando Calrissian.
Well, he loves Billy Dee Williams, so I always get him Lando Catrissian stuff.
And Isabel Kanan.
Or Kanon?
Kanon.
Kanon?
I don't know.
I don't feel so bad.
Yeah.
I always just call her Izzy.
And she was the youngest of the group.
She's like early 20s.
Really sweet.
Jessica Holmes?
Jessica Holmes, yeah.
She came back for the last two
because she had been off the show for,
I don't know, like eight years.
And Chris Wilson from,
what's it?
He has a troupe, somebody and Chris.
Phil and Chris.
No, I can't remember.
But he's also in the Second City main stage right now.
He's so good.
Okay, so rest in peace, Air Farce.
That was a long run, though, as Don told me.
Yeah, I mean, they were on air on CBC in some form or another
since like 1975.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because a big radio hit, like you mentioned,
before it went to TV there.
Oh, well.
Now, unsafe space, please.
What was it?
Just tell us.
We won't spend too much time on it
because I've got to get to it.
Okay.
Richard Klagsbrun.
Really nice guy.
Really misunderstood guy.
He gets credited with a lot of stuff that isn't actually
true um like he's not a reporter for whatever it is ezra levant has um you can't believe anything
you read over yeah yeah what's that thing rebel rebel yeah he's not involved with rebel media at
all anyway he he had been in la for a long time he He was like a script doctor, he kind of guy, script reader,
and,
um,
moved back here.
He's a single dad,
raises his son on his own.
His son is a genius kid.
And,
uh, Rich is a really sweet guy.
He's a great guy.
He's also conservative.
And so,
um,
I feel like there's a segment of the left that has sort of crept,
or what it meant to be left is now sort of more right,
if that makes any sense.
And it's things like freedom of speech.
I feel like that's become a conservative stance.
And that's sort of what this play is about.
And not that I think you need to be a conservative
to believe in freedom of speech.
I am not a conservative.
But I do believe in freedom of speech.
And I hate, and hate's a strong word.
My mother always told me that.
You dislike, she'd always say.
But I really hate being told what I can and can't say.
And I think a lot of people feel that way.
But you're not talking about like yelling fire
in a crowded theater.
No, no, no.
You're talking about your right to share an opinion.
This whole shutdown, cancel, what do they call it?
Cancel.
Yeah, cancel culture.
Cancel culture. Cancel culture.
Sure.
It's like you say one thing,
and that one thing then becomes who you are.
There's no other part of you.
That one thing that you said is all that you stand for.
It's all that you can be.
And, you know, so there's a certain element of that,
and that's kind of what the play is about.
The play is about freedom of speech.
It was sort of predicated on,
there was a story about the University of Toronto
was given, this is real time, real world,
University of Toronto was given a bursary
or was trying to be given a bursary
from the Monk Foundation or something.
Yeah, they do the monk debates.
Monk debates.
Right.
And the money was from a conservative
and it was millions of dollars
and they didn't take it
because they said it was the wrong kind of money.
Like it wasn't,
it didn't stand for the right things. Um, and so he wrote a play sort of based about, based around the faculty arguing
about whether or not they should take this money. And my character that I played, um,
was a first nations man who was dating one of the professors.
And he was a lawyer.
Really, my character was Richard.
I'm convinced of it.
I've said it to him before.
And he's like, well, I don't know.
It's like, all the things that he says, I've heard you say.
So, and I think he knew that he couldn't make this character,
average Joe white guy, and say the things that I was saying.
He had to make him somehow a person of color.
And in that, decided on First Nations because he also wanted to talk about,
he also wanted to talk about land acknowledgements.
Right.
So he made the character First Nations.
Now, as I said, I love this guy.
He's a really great guy.
But I really don't think that he did much research on the characters that he was portraying
in the script that weren't from his point of view.
Like the First Nations guy.
There was a lesbian teacher
who was just very,
or a lesbian professor who was
very, you know,
everything that you could think about that would be a
stereotypical sort of
bull dyke kind of character.
Right.
That's who this character was.
There was a very wishy-washy Muslim guy.
It was just like,
anyway,
it,
it,
it didn't do well.
And,
you know,
and the point of the play.
Yeah.
The critics were unkind to this.
Yeah.
Well, Glenn, I think it was glenn sumi was it glenn sumi yeah glenn sumi ended up having to
come on opening because he hounded the the paper so much to have somebody come and there was a
really big show opening that day i can't remember what the other show was but it was like one that
everybody was excited about i think it was the mitchell cushman show that kim coates was in oh yeah um i think it was the same i think it was then
and so he really wanted to go to that show and i've come to our show and just just yeah he he
had some not good things to say and it was a killer cast it was like all these great theater
people precious chong um you know and i just worked with Tommy Chong just before that.
It was like, hey, I'm working with...
Great Canadian, yeah.
But so we did it at the Transat Club.
Now, anybody that knows the Transat Club,
it's a very sort of lefty commune kind of place, right?
Right.
And they wanted to shut down the,
like he paid his rent,
he paid to have the room.
They knew the name of the piece before he gave them,
they didn't read it,
but he gave them the script.
Right.
And we were inundated with emails
from all of a sudden the board wanted to shut it down they
wanted to shut down the piece right because it was called an unsafe space and this is a safe space
and all that stuff and i was like that's kind of the point of this play right like they haven't
even read it and like in the thing it says gender politics now they took that to mean uh
like transphobic when it had not it meant men and women it wasn't like it was more about the
the power dynamic of men and women um but they took it to mean uh gender fluidity or gender
transgender issues and it wasn't at all like i was getting an email from from the president of
the board saying you know we can't have a show about this. It's like, well, you haven't read it. Cause this is nothing that you've written in this email is in this play.
And trust me,
it's going to be closed in a week and you'll never hear back again.
So basing it on the name,
that sounds like when,
when,
uh,
they,
they,
they said the bare naked ladies couldn't play Nathan Phillips square.
Right.
Speaking of speaker's corner,
which is the first time I saw those guys,
they did a Yoko Ono on Speaker's Corner.
Yeah, I remember that.
Shout out to Tyler Stewart,
who's a great FOTM here.
Okay.
I have a drumstick of his.
Amazing.
Yeah.
Yeah, I collect drummers on this show,
so that's amazing.
Oh, if I'd have known,
I would have brought it for you.
Lisa Pearl,
so that's a show,
an unsafe space was not beloved, let's say. You're giving it so many plugs right now. Lisa Pearl, so that's a show, An Unsafe Space was not beloved, let's say.
You're giving it so many plugs right now.
Lisa Pearl and Lieve Fumke are two people
who wrote me to tell me that they love you
on Because News.
Oh, yeah.
So just maybe before we close out here,
tell me a bit about Because News.
Because News is a really funny show.
I actually auditioned to be the host of this show,
and I think I got close.
They asked me to audition.
I had been working on another show,
and Elizabeth Bowie, who's the producer,
said, I think you'd be a great host for this.
Do you think at this point that doors are actually opening for you
because you identify as First Nations?
Like at CBC, for example.
I'm only curious because Matt Galloway has gone,
and this is a really weird aside, except that I love Metro Morning.
Matt Galloway left it to work on The Current.
And I don't think they've named their permanent full-time,
their new morning show host.
But I was in bed with my wife and I was saying,
it won't be a white guy.
Yeah, I was thinking of you and those muscles.
Maybe there are some breadcrumbs.
I said,
well, it won't be a white guy. And I don't even know why
I said it except I believed it to be true.
That they would diversify and it won't be,
it might be a woman and it might be a
person, a man of color.
Could be an indigenous gentleman.
But on that note, I feel like doors right now,
because time is up for us white guys,
that these doors are wide open now for talented people of color.
Yeah, I mean, I hope that it goes to someone like that.
Has it? I don't think it has for me.
Here's the thing, for film and television, I say that,
although I just wrapped on a show
the very first time I've ever played
in film or television an Indigenous character.
Because I don't look Native enough for people,
which bothers me when it comes from outside the community, really hurts when it comes from outside the community really hurts when it comes
from inside the community but um i i auditioned all i i told my agent at a certain point to stop
sending me out for indigenous parts because i was never booking them and there was some parts i was
like i really want this piece and it was always going to the same three or four guys because they
they just automatically you see them like in film and television they don't want
to have to explain anything they want to see a guy and say oh that guy's korean oh that guy's
black oh that guy's native and we don't all look like adam beach you know like there's a rainbow
i would say we have a rainbow of brown especially at this end of the country like there's just been
more mixing right because your mom's
from england well my mom's british yeah and so i got her pigment and i got my dad's bone structure
and hair and uh drinking pro no i'm just kidding am i allowed to compliment your hair sure sure
but they expect a dm um it is great hair though i just got a cut. So I don't think that that has been a thing for me.
I have, there are, in theater,
I've played a lot of First Nations parts.
But, you know, even this thing that I did for CBC,
which is based on Eden Robinson books,
Son of the Trickster and Trickster Drift and all that,
they've made a TV show out of it.
But even for that, they had to fight for me.
The director is a friend of mine, Michelle Latimer,
and I had a really great set of auditions, made people cry.
I thought, man, I'm doing a great job here.
And she had to fight with the network to get me on.
So I don't know that it has.
But you got a gig at Because News.
You didn't get the hosting job.
Right.
Yeah, so I was working on another show.
It was like a summer replacement show
that didn't go.
But Elizabeth Bowie was around
and we were joking around a lot.
And she said,
I think you'd be great.
So I didn't get the hosting gig.
It went to Gavin Crawford,
who's an old buddy of mine,
but I'm like a regular panelist on it.
And not quite John Sessions, but I'm on it quite a bit.
And I love it.
It's so much fun.
It's more fun than The Debaters.
The Debaters, it's just a lot more work. The debaters, it's a tough gig.
And Steve Patterson is one of my best friends.
He actually married my wife and I.
Oh, he can do that.
He's got some kind of license.
No, no.
We didn't tell people this, but we had a professional,
whatever they're called, come in.
Justice of the Peace or something.
Somebody, yeah.
A notary public.
Okay.
But she came in.
We signed all the papers.
Right.
That makes it legal.
Yeah.
And then he did the one in front of everybody.
I got it.
It's a ceremony.
Yeah, the ceremony.
That's for entertainment purposes only.
And it was entertaining.
People were like, the ceremony is usually the most boring part.
It was awesome. I like the debaters. No, it's great. It were like, the ceremony is usually the most boring part. It was awesome.
I like the debaters.
No, it's great.
It's a really great show.
It's a lot of work.
And it's tough.
And I don't do them as often.
Well, tell Patterson next time you're meeting him
at a barbecue or something,
tell him I'd like to have him on Toronto Mike.
He'd be great on
here.
He'd be great on
here.
And I know he's
friendly with so I
produce Humble and
Fred as I mentioned
earlier and I know
he's friendly with
Humble Howard because
Humble's been on a
couple of a few
debaters.
It's a little stand
up crew.
Yeah and there's
stupid topics they
debate but it's still
entertaining stuff.
Yeah yeah yeah.
Now final question
before we play out
because my wife is
from Edmonton and
I've we've had this debate. Is the Edmonton and we've had this debate.
Is the Edmonton,
and you need to speak
on behalf of First Nations people
across the country.
Jesus.
Is the Edmonton Eskimos
nickname offensive?
For the record,
definitive answer,
please tell us,
is that an okay nickname
for a CFL football team?
No.
Because you're not, I know, I was going to gonna say because that was that uh you're not a mascot
is this the well that's true we're not and and the word itself i mean it's not even it's not
it's inuit is that the it's inuit yeah that'd be uh that'd be the proper term if they were going to use one. Eskimo, I mean, you know, it's not like calling someone a redskin,
but it's, I mean, it means like raw fish eater or raw meat eater.
It's offensive.
I mean, enough is enough.
But, you know, again, as they do with the Washington team,
they always parade out a couple of people from the community who are like,
I don't mind it.
I like the hats.
They speak on behalf of the community.
They speak for everybody.
Again, I don't speak for our community.
I speak for myself.
For myself, no.
That's your opinion.
It's not okay.
Okay, since I'm closing the show now,
I close every single episode.
This is 595.
This has been 90 minutes.
595.
I like that.
I like that number.
It's actually a little more
than 90 minutes.
We needed a few extra minutes
for the beer.
But I always play a song.
Speaking of Larry Money,
I close every episode
of Rosie and Gray.
Sweet.
Craig?
Does he play harmonica
when he comes on?
Yeah, he is. Yes, he does. He's come come and they played live. Well, him and Ron come in.
I always say I have Louis to the low on the show, but I really mean I have Lawrence and Ron on the show.
And Ron does his Ron-ness, which is wonderful. And then Larry. Yeah, always Larry.
I've never called him Larry before. Oh my God. No, he hates it.
I'm going to say Lawrence will whip out the harmonica and he's amazing.
He's got a beautiful singing voice, too.
Oh, yeah.
Don't get me started.
Love that band.
So this is Rosie and Gray.
People should pick up Shakespeare My Butt.
What took you so long?
It's only been 30 years or whatever.
But, Craig, awesome conversation, man.
You're a great FOTM now, and I loved it.
I hope you enjoyed yourself.
Yeah, thanks so much for having me.
And anytime you need me to come back, I'll come back.
And that brings
us to the end of our 595th
show. You can follow me on Twitter.
I'm at Toronto Mike.
Craig is at
TheCraigLozon.
Our friends at Great Lakes
Brewery are at Great Lakes Beer.
PalmaPasta is at Palma Pasta.
Sticker U is at Sticker U.
The Keitner Group is at The Keitner Group, K-E-I-T-N-E-R. And Banjo Dunk is at Banjo Dunk with a C.
See you all Friday when my guest is David Ryder from the Toronto Star.
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