Toronto Mike'd: The Official Toronto Mike Podcast - D-Sisive Returns!: Toronto Mike'd #1219
Episode Date: March 14, 2023In this 1219th episode of Toronto Mike'd, Mike catches up with D-Sisive as they discuss their recent near-death experiences and how it alters ones course of creativity. Toronto Mike'd is proudly broug...ht to you by Great Lakes Brewery, Palma Pasta, Ridley Funeral Home and Electronic Products Recycling Association.
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Welcome to episode 1219 of Toronto Mic'd.
Proudly brought to you by Great Lakes Brewery.
A fiercely independent craft brewery who believes in supporting communities, good times and brewing amazing beer.
Order online for free local home delivery in the GTA.
Palma Pasta.
Enjoy the taste of fresh, homemade Italian pasta and entrees from Palma Pasta in Mississauga and Oakville.
Electronic Products Recycling Association.
Committing to our planet's future means properly recycling our electronics of the past.
And Ridley Funeral Home. planet's future means properly recycling our electronics of the past and redly funeral home pillars of the community since 1921 joining me today making his
triumphant return to Toronto Mike is Derek Kristoff better known by his stage name?
Decisive.
Welcome back, Decisive.
I am, well, no, I was trying to think of something clever to say
as I'm posting this link.
First time for everything.
Yeah.
I almost like want to tell the people, not the specifics,
but just let the people know, prior to me recording this episode of Toronto Mic'd, Mr. Christophe, who I like to call decisive.
That's how I, it's okay if I call you decisive, right?
That's fine.
Some people do.
You brought up some subjects that we discussed in detail that completely fired me up.
Like just, you just pressed all the buttons
and now i'm ready to just go so i don't know what what's going to happen with this episode
but it's going to be going to be special it's it's kind of it's it's it's a little sad we can't
talk about the subject matter by the way the reason we're not talking is you i don't give a
fuck i'll talk about it i don't really want to you i don't i don't think it's i think it's i
think it's good for the both of us that we keep it.
Because then there are certain things about it that'll get me fired up.
But you're all fired up.
I've never seen you.
You've never seen me fired up.
Yeah.
But it's the only second time you've ever seen me.
I know, but I'm turned on a little bit.
You know.
I've never seen you all worked up.
You're usually all nice and you're very smooth.
You're a smooth talker.
But like I see the red in your
face, it's just... It's the sweater. It's the sweater. Nope. It's fury. It's the fury. Tell me
more. You're turned on. Is that true? A little bit. Because it is your anniversary. Well, yeah,
I guess. Happy anniversary. And I think my wife is tuned in listening right now. So your wife
right now is learning that I have turned you on.
Yeah, I don't think she's going to be stoked. Today is our 13th anniversary. 13 years.
Congratulations, man. That's amazing. So you chose to spend your 13th anniversary with me. I'm
honored. It created a little bit of a weird moment. But in fairness, we have been relatively loose with regards to our anniversary date.
We don't exactly know which day we made it official, but we know it was around this time.
And she's a teacher.
My wife's a teacher.
And we know it was March break time.
So we just kind of rounded it off to the 13th.
Now, it could be tomorrow.
It could have been yesterday,
but we've just recently decided that the 13th is the day.
I like that Littlest Hobo jam.
Maybe tomorrow.
Have you ever rapped over that?
I haven't rapped over it.
Maybe I should.
There's like the whistling part
right it's a true jam like and it really brings me back like littlest hobo seemed like a big deal
when i was a kid i don't know i know i have a few years on you but uh you know who is a famous
cameo on littlest hobo stew stone no i'm shocked well maybe i don't know he's been on everything
that good guess when i'm
talking to derek kristoff my answer to all those questions is stew stone but tell me it's actually
the second oh can i go the second michael j fox no but you're close well kind of jason priestly
it's the second most famous mike from toronto oh of course. Okay, let me get this then.
Dude, you should have answered it already.
Mike, it's not Michael J. Fogg.
He's from Vancouver.
But Mike, is it a Mike or a Michael?
It's a Mike.
It's a Mike.
It's a Mike.
Fuck, tell me.
Dude, the second most famous Mike from Toronto.
And you can't answer that.
I'm just on the spot.
I'm having some trouble right now.
I've had,
I'm going to tell you later about the week I've had and you're going to feel
bad for me,
but why don't you tell me so I can,
you can put me out of my misery.
Who is it?
Mike Myers.
Oh,
you know what?
I am embarrassed.
I'm embarrassed.
Actually.
It's funny.
Just today I tweeted that,
uh,
tweeted somebody was coming on. I should know these things. And I... Tweeted? Somebody was coming on.
I should know these things.
And I was like tweeting that this person's coming on.
Oh, it was Colin Mochrie.
Oh.
Because Colin Mochrie's my guest tomorrow with his wife, Deborah McGrath.
And they're a very funny Canadian couple.
And Peter Myers liked the tweet.
Peter is Mike Myers' older brother.
Yeah.
He's like music journalist's older brother.
Well, that's Paul Myers. Okay, Paul.
There's the Paul Myers who now lives, I think,
in LA or something. He...
Fact check. Okay, yeah. Fact check. You know what?
Of course. So, Mike Myers
was on Littlest Hobo.
Now, the question that is still outstanding
is whether Stu Stone made a cameo
appearance on Littlest Hobo.
Last time you were here, Derek,
and I want to uh i
might call you derrick i might call you decisive just roll with me keep me on my toes lots going
on and there's so much i want to talk to you about and then i need to steal a bit of the show to talk
about myself you know it's called toronto mike not of course toronto decisive okay but in april
2022 which is almost exactly a year ago not your anniversary but you were here in my basement
for episode 1034 mike is joined by rapper producer decisive aka derrick kristoff as he shares his
story of musical success working with stew stone that's like the fifth time i've said his name
rolling with saget getting sued for nobody with a notepad which i still fucking love
that story me getting sued me getting sued or i don't know if you were sued i love the song i love
the nobody with a notepad i might play a little bit of it later the opiate addiction that almost
killed him my god thank god you're here thank god you're here whoa and his comeback and we talked
for almost two hours okay where do i begin with begin with you? Firstly, how are you doing?
Now I'm very well.
Very well.
What were you like before you got here?
Well, I just mean like now, you just mentioned the opiate addiction and lawsuits and all
these traumatizing...
No relapses?
Zero.
Zero relapses.
Well, that's good news.
And you know, you're pretty clean now, right?
Like you're...
Very clean.
Do you smoke weed?
No, nothing. So you don't drink beer, you don pretty clean now, right? Like you're... Very clean. Do you smoke weed? No, nothing.
So you don't drink beer, you don't smoke weed.
No.
The odd time my wife and I will let loose and have a little wine after the...
But when I say the odd time, I mean, the last time we did it, I believe, was two weekends ago.
We had a bottle of wine and that might have been the first time in like five months
and she got through,
like,
she has these small
wine glasses.
I,
they're,
I don't know,
thimbles.
They're very small,
like just a little bit bigger
than shot glasses.
I think she drank
one and a half of those
knocked out on the couch.
I put back a little bit more,
but I'm,
I'm,
I'm a bigger,
I'm a bigger human.
And yeah,
I felt a little buzz,
but she just got dismantled.
She can't drink anymore.
And that's it.
It's,
it's,
it's a little sad,
but no,
we're responsible parents.
None of this is sad because you're doing well.
Well,
alcohol was never,
never my problem,
but,
but it is,
it's,
you know, i'm just so
happy that you're uh you've kicked the opiate addiction and you're living a clean life and it
allows you to be your your creative self because i think you're extremely talented i know all this
so i'm not going to repeat episode 1034 but people who haven't heard it should go back and listen
except you know how much respect i have for you like i think you are incredibly
talented thank you you know what makes me happy and i don't know this might sound a little weird
to you but it's my way of like giving you your flowers and i believe that everyone who deserves
should be given while they're still around to get it. I love the fact that I have...
When I came on your show the first time, it was a bit of a deal to me.
Toronto, Mike, you're an important person to our city.
And I hope you know that, and I hope you believe it, because you are.
And I was really stoked to come on the show.
And now that I'm finally back to releasing music,
I'm sure if we go back a year to that episode, I'm sure I was like, yeah, yeah, I'm just working on the show and now that I'm finally back to releasing music I'm sure if we go back a year
to that episode I'm sure I was like yeah yeah I'm just working on the album now I wasn't really
working on the album I was I was thinking about I was plotting but I would never I could never
execute it but now that as of last November I'm officially back and releasing music with my
partner Rob Moonshine Baker i love the fact that i could
just hit you up and just be like mike i got some stuffs can i come on and bing bong bong
we got a date here here we are do you wonder why that makes me happy i want you to know that like
may not seem like a big deal to you but it's a big deal to me well i'll be honest with you
decisive uh not everybody
can send me a note saying uh hey i made a new album no you're gonna say i'll be honest with
you derek uh colin mockery canceled tonight and you know i have the crash test dummies later this
week dude i saw the tweet before i got in my van and i was gonna do something shameless but i
decided not to when you when you said, does anyone have any questions
and I was going to say yes,
will he do a song with me?
Because that would be incredible.
But I didn't.
I cannot do a Brad.
What's his name? Brad Roberts?
I don't know.
I think it's Brad Roberts.
Dude, they were on the
I can swear? Is that okay?
They were on the fucking Dumb and Dumber soundtrack.
Yeah, yeah, Peter Pumpkinhead.
Yes, I know.
The best.
The best.
I know.
I feel like I cut you off.
You were going to say something about me being incredibly talented
and you love having me here.
Five more minutes on that.
But basically, I legit wanted to hang out with you tonight.
Like, I'm going through some shit.
I've had a weird fucking week.
And, like, I haven't updated the list.
I did update.
I did an eight-minute episode where I kind of went through what I went through
for a couple of days, like, last week.
You said you had a near-death experience.
Well.
Because I'm the guy to talk to.
Because I've had, like, three.
Well, I want to talk to you.
Okay, so, near-death experience, yes and no. But, yes, it's a very serious thing. to talk to because i've had like three well i want to talk to you okay so i'm not near death
experience yes and no but yes it's a very serious thing i'm grappling with right now like it's
happening right now so i kind of do want to talk about it but is one of your near-death experiences
this uh tornado yes can you can you would you mind if i lean back and listen to you tell me that story
like i want that complete story.
Because it was after you were in my basement.
When was I on the show?
You were on the show April.
April.
2022.
The date was August the 3rd.
Exactly because it was my daughter's ninth birthday.
And.
I'm ready.
We decided to spend the day at Allora Gorge.
Shit, I was going to confidently say a quarry up north,
but I don't know if it's north.
I don't know.
I just follow the GPS.
I'm pretty useless.
Well, while you tell the story, I'll Google map it.
Geographically, I am useless we we we go there often uh my my family and i is we love to spend time up there
we go swimming and a few times we've done there's like a like a lazy river kind of tube ride but you're again i don't know if it's like a fucking lake
i'm gonna say just before we go any further this is very important detail i'm gonna call it northwest
perfect because you're up north of guelph yeah like yeah we do see the guelph sign so it's like
i got a bus left and then that kind of go near where Guelph is happening. And I go up from there and that's the Elora Gorge conservation area.
Yeah.
So we,
we,
we spend time up there.
We,
every summer we go at least once,
but sometimes,
you know,
we hit up there four or five times.
It's,
it's a,
it's a nice day.
I still have nice things to say about the place.
It wasn't a Laura's fault,
but as we,
so first we did like the the river
the tube tube ride i guess this is what it's called but i went with my daughter and my niece
her uh my niece she so my daughter just turned nine on the day and her 10 year old niece was
with us okay the and your wife is there yep so you two and then these two little girls. And my twins. I have two, three, well, they weren't three.
They were two.
No, they just turned three at the time.
You have three kids?
I got a lot of kids.
A lot of kids.
Well, I have more than that, but that's not to brag, okay?
Oh, there we go.
You can still catch up.
Okay, but that's amazing.
I'm with you.
I'm with you.
How many do you have?
You have four?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, I've got three.
So my wife was with the twins and i took my daughter and my niece
on this tube ride and we knew they were calling for rain but rain doesn't stop us from well
it used to not stop us now i will not leave my house so the forecast says there's going to be
rain rain but you got the nine-year-old and the ten-year-old.
The nine-year-old belongs to you.
It's her birthday.
Yep.
And you're on some tubing adventure at Thistle Lorig.
I'm with you.
And even the tubing adventure didn't go that great because the kids were a bit freaked
out.
And I kind of understand it in hindsight.
Like maybe it's not the best ride to bring a nine and a ten-year-old
on i don't know i would have loved it when i was a kid but i loved water and shit like that
but they were just freaking out because you know there are times where you know the water you catch
a current is that the word undercurrent yeah and it goes pretty fast and there's no way to stop it
yeah so there are some
questionable moments where as a 10 year old i could see you being scared right so both of them
were kind of freaking out at moments then there were times where the tube would get stuck and it
was just so we finally got to the finish line and i was happy for it to be over i couldn't wait to
just get over to the beach area where it's like um that's where the giant quarry
is and there are people that jump off this like they're they have security at have you been to a
lora gorge no so they have they have this i'm gonna guess that the the word like wall but like
the wall to the quarry i'm not a fucking country kid so obviously but it's probably
like a ridge well it's like cliff diving cliff okay i think that's a ridge like i feel like uh
that's a ridge so it's probably like 60 feet high okay like it's it's up there and maybe 40 i don't
know it's a thousand feet high yeah i don't. So I apologize. So people wait for the security guards to kind of dip, and then they jump off.
It happened.
And then all of us on the beach applaud because it's pretty crazy.
I'm sure you'll look it up, and it'll only be like 20 feet.
But it looks very high.
I'm sticking with your story.
Yeah, it's high enough to have security to stop people from doing it.
But people slip through the cracks and jump.
So we were on the beach.
We were probably there for like an hour.
We had just kind of gotten settled.
I was reading a book about another famous Mike called Who is Mike Ovitz?
Michael Ovitz is a Hollywood agent.
I remember all the details.
So I was sitting on the blanket reading a book.
My wife and the kids were in the water.
And then I hear, I didn't have my cell phone.
My cell phone was in my backpack,
but I could hear like, you know,
the Amber Alert that we get.
So that goes off.
I look and as I'm going from my phone,
let's just say there were like 12 families on the beach.
All of them are looking at their phones.
So I pull mine out and I look.
Yeah.
Hurricane.
No, sorry.
Tornado.
Yeah.
Tornado warning.
Wow.
Now I read it and it freaks me out a bit, but like you never think you're going to be caught
in a crazy fucking tornado.
Like I've never been in anything quite like that.
So I, but, but i did have the sense
enough sense to go tell my wife and say maybe we should kind of make a move like you know let's
but nobody was rushing even the families that were on the beach nobody was freaking out so i go down
i get them and you know there we are packing our shit folding our blankets then i look up
to the sky not where the water is but more towards where like
the forest area is and it was like a gray and a black like this black mist i guess that i had
never seen before and it that is where i started to feel a little bit nervous. Is this what we refer to as the calm before the storm?
Yes.
See?
Yes.
That's why you're a show.
I'm a meteorologist, Derek.
And I am not.
That's why you're a meteorologist.
And so then I'm like, my wife's name is Melanie.
And I'm like, Melanie, I think it's time to pick up the pace a bit because that is freaking me the fuck out.
So we start scr pace a bit because that is freaking me the fuck out so we start scrambling
a bit and then when i really got nervous but i had to hide it because you know you're you got
dad i gotta take care of the kids you can't panic no i cannot and but i also don't think what is
about to happen is going to happen i just thought oh this is a bit freaky let's get to the fucking
van and get on the highway and get out of here just to avoid getting wet like that's like a storm's a coming yeah so then rain starts
but it wasn't a gradual build it was like someone turned a switch yeah and the faucet went on and it
was the and it was the heaviest rain i had ever been in. And then the kids start freaking out.
My wife isn't exactly stoked either, but I'm still trying to...
You're trying to be a dad.
I'm trying to keep it solid. I'm like, okay, come on, come on, come on. We got to go. We got to go.
And it's funny, my wife and I... Sorry, my wife made a joke about this last night. It's kind of
nice that we can joke about it now, but it wasn't funny at the time so we start making a move and now from the beach area to the car
it's about a two minute walk like it's a it's a long path where you know so it you're in this
beach and then it closes into this path and then to the parking lot. And you're surrounded by, you know, just trees on each side.
And it's,
so you got to remember the rain is pouring harder than I'd ever experienced
it in my life.
It was crazy.
And it was dark,
like instantly pitch black,
dark.
So there we are making our way up this path.
And my daughter starts tripping the fuck out.
Like she's screaming almost like
starting to like freeze up she's so scared and i'm just trying to like keep her moving you know
just like walk walk let's just go let's go you got to get to that van that's it like just don't
you know you can scream you can be scared you know but then she starts talking back to me
and she kind of stops walking you know but telling me she's scared and i get it man like it's breaking my heart but at the same time we gotta fucking go it's like poltergeist when she's like who's
the disciplinarian step away from the light you remember like it's this is this is yeah this is
well i kind of had a step away from the light moment where then my daughter just kind of, she wouldn't stop going at me.
And then I had to yell and I apologize to all the listeners out there, but I got to be true with the story.
Like I, and you know, she's my nine year old angel, but I swore and I was just like, we got to get to the fucking van.
Like, let's go.
Cause now I'm nervous.
You're in survival mode.
Yeah, exactly.
And then we kind of start making a move again she starts again and then i this is what and my wife made
a joke last night and my exact line was my daughter's name is ava so she's like what if
something's gonna happen and i'm thinking you know uh tornado wizard of oz right sure so i just kind of yell at my kid and i'm like ava i go this is not a
fucking movie just get to the fucking car maybe three seconds after i say that line i hear my
wife scream and then i feel like i just got fucking bashed by like right like my face like took the brunt of it like it just a hit out of
and i heard the crack sorry i forgot that detail okay i heard this list but it sounded like thunder
and my wife just screamed and then like a fucking mike tyson just uppercut not uppercut right
crossing another mike right yes another another Cal Mike. The third famous
Mike from Toronto, Mike Tyson.
And just right crossed me, right
in the fucking face.
And I zoned
out for like two or three seconds.
Everyone starts fucking
losing their minds. And I don't really
but I, because I am one of the
strongest men on planet Earth,
I stayed up. It didn't knock me down.
And I just, like, kind of got into Papa Bear mode and, like, still get to the fucking van.
As I'm running, I, like, one of, my wife has one of my other, one of the twins.
She's carrying her.
And then the other one is kind of close to me.
So I scoop her up with one arm.
And I realize, as I'm running, I can't move my left arm.
Oh my God. And I just kind of look and my arm is straight, just dangling out.
Dislocated.
Yeah.
So a tree landed, like just basically.
So that's what hit you.
A fucking tree.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
Okay.
So, okay. So you got everybody in the van though yep it happened
we know and that's what's crazy my so so the part i don't i'm gonna assume that it was the
trunk that landed on my shoulder and i guess a branch somehow bashed me in the face as it was
falling i only felt like the face i didn't really feel the pressure on my shoulder.
I guess, I don't know, just, yeah.
So I'm still running to the van.
I'm holding one of my kids in one hand,
very light, just a little bit.
So I'm not trying to be like,
I'm the strong, I was carrying a small man.
And I just, I can still see my daughter
and my niece looking at me terrified.
Like, just like I've,
the way they were like a monster because
what's crazy is i didn't notice but blood it broke my nose and blood was just gushing because it made
it you can still kind of see the you can still kind of see the cut here so it cut here and then
through my nostrils just like a faucet like i remember my wife giving me a towel and i just dabbed it and it was drenched but i'm so what but what makes it terrifying i can laugh like i said
i can laugh now but here i am you know limping to the van my arm is just hanging on by a thread
and i'm still like it's okay guys don't worry about it we're gonna just get in the van everybody
and but i'm like in a fucking daze i i just don't like this monster is just get in the van, everybody. But I'm like in a fucking daze. I just don't, like this monster is just walking towards the van.
And they didn't even want to go near me.
Like just scared.
We get in the van.
And I'm, you know, I basically had to like lift my arm up to get in.
Yeah, dislocated.
Couldn't move it.
And I'm telling my wife, like she's freaking out.
Because even the rain is pouring crazy on the van and you're
afraid more trees are gonna fucking fall so she's just like what do we do and i'm like well let's
call 9-1-1 so she calls 9-1-1 we get through but there's no service like they couldn't we could
hear them they couldn't hear us so i told her to just start driving and as we were driving there
was a there's a pet pet veterinarian across the street.
And we saw someone getting in their car.
And I just told my wife, go over there.
Or she made the call to go.
I can't remember it.
But to go across the street.
She ran out, told them, said, my husband just got hit by a tree.
And he actually drove us to the hospital.
Like, we followed him.
But he he like,
yeah,
Derek.
And here I am.
So,
okay.
So other than yourself,
who was,
hold on,
you want to hear the funny,
another funny part.
I don't mean to Bogart this moment,
but so I'm in the hospital,
you know, for most of the night,
whatever.
Then the next day I,
I,
you know,
I probably slept like 14 hours.
I wake up the next morning.
It's like even my wife, I remember her coming in my...
I slept in my daughter's room that night
because I had to sit up.
You can't lay down.
Just the pressure.
It was the worst.
And they probably want to put you on Percocets
and you have an opiate addiction.
Well, that's a whole other conversation.
But my wife had to call my doctor.
No, because I separated my shoulder
and it was P but i don't
but but you can't accept perks well my doctor kind of said it's okay like for a situation like
they actually called my doctor who was also like my drug okay i don't know i hate using the word
counselor but so he basically gave the doctor like you know it's fine. But my wife, she was scared. Yeah. You know, but I just said,
you can be in control of them.
You know, you can administer.
And to be honest with you,
I don't, I think I took like four.
And I just, they weren't really doing anything anyway.
So it was no point.
Wow.
Yeah.
Okay, so here's the funny thing.
So I still remember her coming in the room,
just kind of shaking her head like,
what the fuck happened?
And, you know, we kind of laugh about it
as much as we can at the moment.
So it was on the news about the storm.
In Elora Gorge alone, 150 trees fell.
Houses got destroyed.
Like it just fucking...
So this was a tornado?
Yeah, yeah.
So they reported it. And then the best part, Houses got destroyed. Like it just fucking. So this was a tornado? Yeah. Yeah. Wow.
So they reported it.
And then the best part, the best part of the news report was the last line where they said,
luckily there were no injuries.
And there I am just like laid out, like destroyed.
That's funny.
No injuries.
Okay.
That is funny.
Now listen, I'm glad.
So other than yourself, though, did anyone else get any injuries?
No.
That's good news.
And that's, you know, I've said this a hundred times,
but like I'm happy that it was me.
You know, like if it was, if anyone was to get hurt, I'm glad it was me.
No, I'm with you there.
It's so much easier to endure something yourself
than it is to see somebody you love go through it.
It would destroy me to see my wife or if it was one.
I don't want to talk about it.
But if it was like one of my kids, it wouldn't have probably turned out that way.
Right.
So it happened to the right person.
So let me ask you this, Mr. Christoph.
Do you like do you think there's some symbolism here?
Is this a call to action, or is this just some random happenstance,
and it could have been a lot worse, you got off lucky,
but you just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time
in a tornado touchdown?
Or do you think that this is something you can leverage in your life?
Yeah, for sure that like
it's possible it could have been wrong place in the wrong time at the wrong place at the wrong
time but i've also had like a few of these instances in my life and i always seem to tell
me about the other ones or do you want to quickly give me those they're not as but you this is your
third brush with death yeah yeah the other it's one of. This is your third Brush with Death? Yeah.
Is one of them the opiate addiction?
That would be one.
There's another one you don't want to talk about.
Two of them are that.
I just don't like... You're moving on.
Not as cool of a story.
This is August 2022
when this went down.
Then you recovered nicely though.
The arm recovered.
And pretty fast too.
I think they pop it back.
Do they pop it back in?
No, I had to just stay slinged up.
And then I went to, they wanted me to go to physio, but there was another type of doctor
that my wife told me to go to, that she sees.
It's a certain specialist.
I can't remember what they're called.
But I went to see him once, maybe twice, and he showed me the exercises.
And I just kind of went nuts, like doing them a lot.
And I also swim a lot.
Swimming is great for everything.
Just get in a pool if you can.
Yeah, I swim every day.
Lowest impact workout there is.
Okay, so decisive.
How did this affect your music?
So at some point we're going to talk about this new music
and I'm going to play some stuff.
But did this send you back to the notepad?
Yeah, well, it's one of those moments where it's a reminder.
It sounds so cliche to say, but it's one of those reminders that you's, you know, a reminder. It sounds so cliche to say,
but it's one of those reminders that you never know what's going to happen.
You know,
tomorrow we're not promised to be here.
You know,
I like to quote like,
well,
I'm not going to say quote.
I'll say paraphrase because I'm sure I'm going to butcher the shit out of it.
But someone whom I love a lot,
Sam Harris,
I don't know if you've watched any of his videos,
but no,
but I'm familiar with him.
Yeah, he refers to life as the only game we play
that doesn't have a clock,
so we don't know when it's going to run out.
So it's important to enjoy every moment like it's the last.
This could be the last time you and I sit in this room.
Let's do this then.
Let's weave my story into yours, and we'll get to the the tunes here and then i need to ask you about
somebody who has passed away since the last time we were together but so what are we talking on
here monday night so last monday night i went into the hospital because i had this headache for four
days so you know it depends who i talk to like i was talking i was on humble and
fred talking about this and fred's like how could you let the headache last four days but i actually
thought i was doing the opposite like look at me i only let it last four days you know what i mean
like how long would you endure a headache before you went into the hospital before you went to
emergency well how intense was the headache okay so if 10 is like uh like kill me now
and then one is like oh this is nothing uh i'm putting it at like a six seven it was like a six
seven it wasn't 10 or nine it's it's hard to answer something like that but i am i don't know
i don't know i know so so i i had a headache i'm a busy guy i got lots going on so i just was
taking advils and moving on with my life.
Well, I also never really get headaches.
So I almost feel like if that did happen to me,
it probably would have been sooner than.
Okay.
Okay.
So, okay.
So I don't get headaches either.
I don't get headaches.
Fred's like, how could you let it go four days?
And I was thinking, I'm impressed.
I only let it go four days, but okay.
So on the four, so four days of this headache.
And I talked to my doctor because I'm impressed. I only let it go four days. But okay, so four days of this headache and I talked to my doctor
because I'm like, this thing won't go away
and it's a real pressure thing.
It's a really interesting headache.
It was like all around and it was pressure
and it was fucking up my creative flow.
Like I got lots of ideas and things.
My synapses are firing.
I can't be like focused on this head thing.
It was really fucking me up.
So the doctor's like,
really just like your storm. I was thinking about me up. Yeah. So the doctor's like, really,
just like your storm.
I was thinking about this
when you were describing
the storm, right?
Like,
the storm that you,
you survived
at Elora Gorge
came on really suddenly.
Like,
it ramped up from like,
boom.
There was no,
it was boom,
there it is.
It was no like,
ramp up like a,
it was just boom,
full throttle.
Oh,
it just hit,
yeah.
So my headache came on the same way on uh
what was that on a thursday night and i was like my daughter was in town because mcgill
had their reading week and then my mom was coming over and then my son was coming over
there's gonna be a whole thing because we're gonna celebrate like michelle's here i'm wearing
the mcgill hoodie because of her love michelle but we were having a thing so i was like i gotta
i gotta be part of this thing so i'm popping these advils to be a part of this thing came on very suddenly
and that's what concerned my doctor it came on so suddenly she's like i'm worried you have a brain
bleed it's very unlikely but let's go to emergency and rule it out so that i'll sleep better whatever
so i'm like yes ma'am like uh yes doc and i just i bike over to saint joe's i go into emergency i'm like of
course you bike i did bike dude that's another another you can ask what you want about that
i couldn't imagine a more civilized way to get there like i i could bike i was doing everything
there's an emergency but it's a headache yeah i guess i can bike in a headache okay i felt like
i could bike it and you know you know so i again but but this is four days later This is on the Monday
This is one week ago today
So you did the weekend celebration
I did it I just endured it
I even did a swim and I did a couple of bike rides
And I did a lot of shoveling of snow
Because we got the storm on the Friday night
Where do you swim?
My mom's got a condo
So I actually biked to my mom's condo
And I did a swim in her swimming pool
So we got to do the next pod at that pool.
Okay.
I love swimming.
I'll go swimming with you.
We'll have a swimming episode.
Okay.
We'll do it.
We'll do it.
I didn't mean to interrupt your story.
Don't get any water in my board here.
Okay.
Okay.
We'll do that.
That's what she said.
I'm going to cut to the chase.
Because most people listening to us now have probably heard the eight minutes I recorded.
I don't want to repeat everything.
Except I got hit with the news that Monday night they said,
this is very rare.
You have a blood clot on your brain.
I have a blood clot in my brain right now as I talk to you.
Okay.
And it sounds scary as fuck.
And they said the fear is that it grows and it causes a stroke.
So this is,
it can kill you.
This is very serious.
And it's very rare. Very rare. You get up. I this is, it can kill you. This is very serious and it's very rare,
very rare. You get up, I have a blood clot in my brain. They don't know how I got a blood clot in
my brain because a healthy, you know, 40 something year old guys who are active don't get blood clots
on the brain. Like it's super fucking rare, but I have it. And I get hit with this on Monday night
and they're like, you gotta, you gotta sleep here tonight. You can't go home because you might have
a seizure or a stroke. We got you so it's like oh my god
i'm spending the night here but i was feeling better the next day the headache went away anyways
they let me go home the treatment for this is blood thinners i'm popping these blood thinners
like fucking candy because that stops it from growing and and shouldn't get any worse it doesn't
actually cure what's happened only time will get rid of this blood clot. But now I'm at a point. Will it go away?
They said it will
probably be absorbed by my brain
in the next 6 to 12 months.
So in the meantime. That's a long time.
More than that, I just had a doctor
thing today. I was back in hospital on the weekend.
I didn't tell anybody that. There's a lot
of shit around this. But one of the things
around this is that
although I'm being tested
for it to get
the definitive answer,
but it's most likely
I have a gene,
like a disease,
basically,
a genetic disease
that means
I would more likely
to get blood clots.
Like,
this is probably
what I have.
So,
I'm being tested for it
and everything.
But when that comes back
positive,
I think I'm on blood thinners
for the rest of my life.
Like, I think this is the, this is the rest of my life. So, this is all going on right now back positive, I think I'm on blood thinners for the rest of my life. Like, I think this is the rest of my life.
So this is all going on right now.
Now, near-death experience, when I say those words, I feel like I'm being a little melodramatic because—
I don't think so.
But at the same time, it depends.
Yeah, you know, it's very serious.
It leads to strokes.
I'm not even out of the woods yet because the neurologist wants to see my brain.
I have to get an MRI. The neurologist wants to see my brain. I have to get an MRI.
The neurologist wants to see if I got brain damage from this.
That's his words.
We need to see if you have brain damage.
Do you think I have brain damage?
Well, I don't know.
Well, we're going to find out.
You called me Gary when I got here.
I just thought you're a long time.
All week when I fuck up, all week, I've've been saying in my defense, I might be brain damaged.
Like I've been dropping that.
Ask my wife.
That's like,
if I,
if I forget to close a door or something in the kitchen,
it's like,
I might be brain damaged.
So all this is going on.
You do now,
you do now have the perfect excuse to use on your wife.
Yes.
Yes.
And I'm going to use it and hopefully we'll see what the results come back
as i actually know i am i'm a bit like worried right now like i've i don't here so don't be
worried because uh the only thing i have is because i have a clot on my brain i get headaches
like but they're not debilitating headaches where i gotta go in a room and shut the door i mean shut
the lights and go under the covers or whatever. I can treat these headaches I'm getting
because I've had headaches the last few days
and I can treat them with Tylenol.
Don't treat them with Advil
because Advil thins your blood
and you're already on the blood thinner.
So I have all this new rules
I got to live with with the blood thinners.
But I'm not taking Advil
because I'm not allowed to take Advil.
But I can pop a Tylenol if I get a headache
and I can just go about my life.
I'm having this chat with you
and I'm enjoying it thoroughly. So this is where I'm at. I did a very long bike ride today.
Like I'm physically feeling normal. I just have a clot on my brain and I'm taking blood thinners.
But all of this has got me thinking like, if I inherited this thing, because it's in the family,
so that's why we're thinking that I have this genetic thing or whatever. Then I got to get all my kids tested to see if they inherited it. If you have it,
they blood thinners is sort of like something they do as a preventative measure because you
can get a stroke, right? We're just trying to avoid a stroke here. So all this is going on.
I'm literally processing this, uh, like in real time. I talked to my doctor like a half an hour
before you were at the door. All I can tell you is I deal with all this is that I feel pretty good and I'm fucking psyched as hell.
Decisive, what's your name again?
I'm brain damaged.
Decisive is here.
Dante.
And we're going to talk about you, your near-death experience.
We're going to find out about your music.
I'm going to revisit something that you talked about on the last episode because I've been sharing this story with anyone who will listen,
and I love it.
But it's just like, here I am.
I'm here.
Like, I'm here.
I'm riding my bike.
I'm feeling pretty good.
You know, reports of my demise have been greatly exaggerated.
I'm still on this side of the dirt.
No need to shout out Ridley Funeral Home
because I'm right here right now.
Right, brother?
Yeah.
Well, you know, I'm very happy that you're here, but I'm also nervous.
When is your next, when do you follow up?
This is the pain in the ass of it all.
Okay.
So there's two specialists that deal with this.
So I have a hematologist and I have a neurologist.
I guess the neurologist is in charge of the brain.
The hematologist is in charge of my blood in this disorder I might have or whatever
so I'm not supposed to follow up
with the neurologist for four weeks
and I'm not supposed to follow up with the hematologist
for six weeks but I am supposed to keep
taking and this fucking blood thinner
it's not one of those things where like
you can take it at 7 in the morning or if you wake up late
you can do it at 9 in the morning
they want you to take it at the exact
same time every day and I've been doing it twice a day. So I've kind of like getting used to that
new rhythm of that. But I'm also aware that I won't see this neurologist for four more weeks.
The MRI is a whole different thing. I got to get this MRI done, but there was some mix up with the
paperwork because the neurologist didn't fill out a section and then St. Joe's sent it back and I'm
waiting for that. So I got to get the MRI done so I can rule out brain damage, which I'm pretty sure I'm not brain damaged.
But what the fuck do I know at this point?
But then I got these follow ups and I'm just literally just going to go to every appointment I'm supposed to go to and follow all the instructions that are given to me.
But this is like something I wasn't even thinking about.
You know, when did my headache?
This is like something I wasn't even thinking about.
Yeah.
You know, when did my headache, so two weeks ago, I was, I felt I was a perfectly healthy late forties guy planning.
Like I'm going to, you know, now it's like, I got to make it to 50.
You know what I mean?
Like, it's just, it's not, of course I'm going to make the 50, but it's just such a wild
curve ball that I simply did not see coming.
Yeah.
Well, yeah, there it is.
simply did not see coming.
Yeah.
Well, yeah, there it is.
Like, and you're, I'm going to assume that you,
you haven't had like a lot of illness in your life.
No, no.
So that was my first,
that was my first overnight stay in a hospital of my life.
Like since I was born.
Yeah.
And then, so now these blood thinners,
that's like your new normal now? Well, I'm definitely on blood thinners for the next 6 to 12 months and then whether i have it so the blood thinners is so this clot
doesn't get worse it's uh like it won't grow anymore basically because it keeps growing this
blood clot in my brain so now we stop that so i'm dealing with what i have which is why i get the
headaches or whatever but it's there and i'm literally just, I'm supposed to be like hyper aware
if I have any stroke symptoms.
So there's a lot of like, if Monica, the joke around here is that like,
how will she know if I'm confused or like not making sense?
Like, will she even know the difference?
But if I slur my speech or my face droops or, you know,
if I feel weak or I don't have my balance,
like I can't do a walk a
straight line so all these things if i get one of those things like i gotta go into a merge i'm
having a stroke so there's a lot of that going on so jeez i know i know but what have the headaches
been like like compared to no not as bad so these headaches i'm like they're three four so they just
kind of sit there and you're aware of them and then i if i pop a tylenol it gets a little bit better but like i'm not even complaining about these headaches
my fear for which is why i went back to emergency on saturday was i had a sense like i wasn't like
that was a bad sign like if the headache came back maybe i was having a stroke or my brain was
bleeding because i had to do this test to see if there was blood in my brain and everything and
like i just felt like if i have a headache that's a bad thing so i went to emergency just to talk to a doctor like am i allowed to have
a headache and then today the doctor was very black and white which is basically like you should
have a headache with this thing on your brain because apparently i got this big fucking clot
on my brain like of course i should have a headache so i now have permission to have a
headache yeah so anyway this is the only symptom I have. There's nothing else.
If the headache's not there
and it's not always there,
if the headache's not there,
I feel 100% normal.
I just can't cut myself
and I should avoid,
like,
falls.
Like,
I've noticed when I'm biking now,
I'm biking a little slower
than normal
because you can have
internal bleeding
because of these blood thinners.
So,
I have a,
like,
there's more danger of this.
The blood thinners have its own side effects.
But as the doctor reminded me today,
this is not a case where the cure is worse than the disease.
This cure is not worse than the disease.
We're avoiding strokes here and strokes kill, buddy.
Jeez, I don't even know what to say.
You survived your tornado.
You survived your addiction.
I'm dealing with this.
I didn't ask for this.
The odds of humans getting this is five in a million,
but they're mainly women,
and they're often sedentary people.
Like, for a healthy guy like me,
a male like me at my age getting this,
you can't even find the stats.
It's just, they don't see it.
None of these people see it.
Like, it just doesn't happen.
Well, you never know. Like, that's one of my one of my well i don't know maybe i'm being a bit
dramatic but what one of my pet peeves it i and i don't know i think it's because i've dealt with
so much illness in my life like not myself but well i've you know i've had my well a lot of my
problems have been self-inflicted.
Well, addiction is not self-inflicted.
Well, in a way it is. I don't think of it as self-inflicted.
But so like I've had to take care of my mom, my dad.
I've watched aunts and uncles pass away.
I've seen it all.
Right.
But one of my kind of pet peeves is when people are like,
oh, he passed away from lung cancer.
He never smoked a day in his life.
I just, that statement just irritates me
because you don't know.
It doesn't mean anything.
Like not everyone who gets lung cancer smokes.
No.
You know, it's just any,
excuse me, anything can happen.
Like look at yourself.
Like you've never even been,
you never spent a night in a hospital before.
No, you're
absolutely right and i'm thinking of uh my dear friend uh jennifer who passed away at 29 years old
from lung cancer never smoked a cigarette in her life yeah but like look right like you you you
who knows but i guess the the best thing to take away from moments like that is you got to live
your fucking life and the weird thing is is i remember the day after it's all i could talk about like and i even i i
didn't i i posted a video on social media and youtube you know i was kind of beaten up and
i didn't even really want to do it like up to that point i had never done anything like that before
and there was part of me that thought it was a bit corny, but I don't know, these voices just kept telling me to do it because I've,
since even then, I've wanted to start podcasting and, you know, just posting more YouTube content,
which I've started doing. It's a slow start, but I've started. But I was also telling myself,
just do it, get out of the, get it out of the way. Do one. Get past your nerves and your ego.
And I did it.
And that was my message.
And it was just like, you got to enjoy every moment.
But then two, three weeks pass and you're back to the same old fucking mundane routine, right?
That's the worst part about it.
You got to stick with it.
You know, like my good friend Lamont Dozier once told me.
Well, listen, we're going there now because i need to change the channel here like my best friend lamont dozier
once well here so i was going to remind you and the reason i'm playing this song which is nobody
with a notepad is that you're a storyteller i am your gift you're a storyteller that's your gift
that's why i always liked your music you tell stories so when things happen to you
be it an opiate addiction or a tornado like whatever happens in your life you need to
release that into the into the universe that's your that's your job buddy my job is to have
people like you over to capture their stories about their their storytelling so what am i
playing let me play it a bit and then we'll talk about Levant.
What's that?
Can they hear us out there?
Yeah.
Oh, I don't know.
If you can hear this, here's how it works.
If you can hear in your headphones, they're hearing it out there.
Okay, then I shouldn't interrupt. You can interrupt if you want if you want it's your song buddy well well part of it's your
song 20 of it nice 20 of this is yours 20 great fucking song again now this is how old is this now
13 what are we looking at 15 years okay nobody with a notepad, to me, is a work of art, my friend. Okay, so when you were here in April 2022,
you told the fantastic story about Lamont Dozier
and you getting sued, basically, because you are sampling his work.
Yeah.
It's in here.
In a minute, I'm going to play Lamont Dozier peddling music on the side.
Since you were here in April,
Lamont Dozier died.
Yep. Shout out to Ridley Funeral Home.
He's gone.
What was your reaction
when you woke up and got the news
Lamont Dozier had died?
I didn't really feel anything
to be honest with you. Because I don't hate the guy.
I did. I fucking stole the song.
You have to take some form of accountability.
No part of you hates the fact that he picked on the lowest,
like, shout out to lowest of the low.
I'm under the Carlisle Bridge today.
But you're just a guy.
How far into the story did I get, though, when I told?
I don't remember, because it is.
I thought I had it all.
Is there more?
Did I get to after the lawsuit, like after the money paid out see that's a that's a whole other story like my life is how much money
do you pay out 10 us okay ten thousand dollars us the funniest part of that story and i'm sure
i told this part was we first got a letter um us for $100,000.
Or no, $300,000.
Something like that.
$100,000 or $300,000.
Which to anyone, that's what I replied back.
I said, we can pay you $300,000.
And they weren't accepting that.
Okay, so here, I want that story.
I'm going to play a bit of the original song that you
It's basically
my song.
Well, you're
yeah, okay.
It's a great song. It's an amazing song.
And it fit you so well.
And we can blame Moonshine for this, right?
Yes.
It's your fault.
It couldn't have worked for a better artist. So, but it's your fault it couldn't have worked for a better artist so but it's ironic so here's the
here's the the kicker of the story so it we're now at the day where we have to transfer wire
the money to the lawyer he had a lawyer named dan i will not say the surname, but his lawyer's name was Dan.
I was working at a telemarketing company at the time.
Well, I was doing like, I was doing a phone job.
It wasn't actually telemarketing.
A company called Sight Dudes.
And I get an email from his lawyer, but a personal email.
Like, you know, no one was cc'd on it just him and
it said hey and then i opened the email and he says do me a favor once the money is clear i want
you to give me a call and there's his number and i replied back to him to that email and i just wrote
like why are you fucking suing me again have you
found something else in my catalog now what was i was a bit of a i guess i was just dealing with my
fears but throughout the whole process i was a bit of a dick like with the responses and like
daryl rodway who's the you know founder of herb net, who was part of it with me, he still sometimes jokes about shit that I said.
I was just a dick, and I was making fun.
He actually had a team of three lawyers that were dealing with it.
One of the lawyers, I don't remember his name, but he had awful grammar,
and it was just whatever.
So anytime he would send an email, when I would reply,
I would misspell words
and just be a fucking dickhead.
But I was mad.
Yeah, you had a right to be mad, by the way.
Because you didn't make any money on the song
and now you're forking up 10,000 US dollars.
But I did steal the shit, right?
You did.
I would steal this too.
You hear this?
It's perfect.
This is gorgeous.
It's one of my best songs.
Right.
So anyways, he hits me back.
So no, yeah.
So I reply back to the lawyer and say, why are you going to fucking sue me again?
And he replies back and he just with like, ha, ha, ha.
No, just call me.
So I get word.
You good?
Keep talking.
It's okay.
Keep talking.
I can't swear.
Mike's daughter talking You can swear
Who knows what she's doing
By the way
Her birthday is Wednesday
She's going to be 7 years old
Happy birthday
Happy birthday Morgan on Wednesday
I'm a March baby
March 29th
Don't worry about swear words
So I get word that the money has been sent so i call lawyer dan and like i i i said five minutes ago my my life in many ways
is a mess it's a movie like it's shit happens where i'm like only me and i almost feel like
it happened because i've been given this gift to tell stories and to write them because you got to have content.
Right.
You know?
So I called the lawyer and he's like, hey, man, nice to finally talk, you know?
And I'm like, what are you talking about, dude?
And he says, well, he goes, you're going to think this is weird.
But nobody with a notepad, Lamont loves the song.
And I found out that he was involved with a number of lawsuits.
He was suing everyone from 3-6 Mafia to Lupe Fiasco.
Well, I eventually found out that he was also, at the time,
the number 13th biggest tax delinquent in California.
So Lamont was trying to get that money up.
That would be quite the incentive, I think.
But so what I found out through Lawyer Dan was
Lamont loved the song.
And he thought it was fucking fantastic.
And here's a quick story.
The day that it happened,
Oren Isaacsacs who we talked we
were talking about earlier he was the mike bullard music supervisor he was the first person to ever
really talk about that before the recording yeah yeah there's a little hint for the uh people paying
attention yeah so so i remember i remember going to oran and telling him i'm like yo i'm fucking
getting sued and he's like, what?
So I show him everything.
And I swear to God, this happened.
Oren goes to me.
I'm sorry that I'm all over the place.
No, I love it.
So Oren says to me, here's what you're going to do.
You're going to go home.
You're going to get paper and a pen.
You're not typing.
You're getting a fucking paper and a pen.
Well, you're nobody have a notepad
yeah you're gonna get out your notepad and you are gonna write the most heartfelt apology
you are going to research lamont dozier and compliment his music and say how it changed
your life and you're like all the shit you're gonna fucking eat this guy's jizz via letter and
apologize and thank him for the music first i turn you on yeah and thank him for everything
and you're going to mail it to him and he said to me and i swear to god oran goes and i guarantee
you this thing gets dropped and i was like okay fine so at
the time i was being managed by someone i'm not going to say the name i'm driving home and i call
said manager and i'm like hey so i was just at oren's place he told me to do this manager says
excuse me no you're not going to do that i'm taking care of it me and another guy
at universal publishing we're dealing with it you don't have to send a letter nothing so but i'm
like yeah but oran told me that i should do this that it's going to get me out of this thing he
goes dude you're making a big deal out of nothing we're going to handle it i go you didn't get an
email saying they wanted 300 fucking grand right and then he's like dude if i say we've got it we've
got it needless to say they didn't got it that that relationship kind of fizzled into nothing
whatever they then they then they actually filed the lawsuit because there was we weren't responding
to any of the letters so shit happens we talk it down to 10 us here we are then fast forward here
i am on the phone with dan lawyer dan says lamont dozier loved the song and he goes you know what
you should the lawyer said this to me dude he goes you know what you should have did you should
have just wrote fucking lamont a letter and just like apologized i'm so upset for you right now
so that that happened the lawyer
told me he goes if you would have just said sorry to him he would have let this all go because he
god 10 u.s dollars and aggravation thousand not 10 dollars did i say 10 u.s dollars because that's
too rich for my blood you know my thin thin blood yeah but my thin that's your memoir title
my do you think i'm a storyteller i kind kind of have, I don't have the Derek Kristoff talent,
but I do have this podcast.
Yeah, of course you are.
You and I need to collaborate more often, I think.
Well, we got to write your book, My Thin, Thin Blood.
The Toronto Mike story.
The Toronto Mike story.
So yeah, but the lawyer tells me you should have just thanked him.
He would have, or apologized.
Oh my God.
And they wanted to set up a duet.
They wanted to do it.
They wanted to recreate the song
and do it properly.
And it just didn't happen.
So this advice, this bad,
I know you're not naming this person
and I know why you're not naming this person,
but this person who gave you the bad advice,
that's not a lawyer, right?
No, manager at the time.
And I don't even think anything negative towards him.
We weren't friends back then
because I would have you on the line
with Lorne Honickman.
We would have sorted this out.
But my God, decisive.
That story, which I actually excerpted
out of that episode.
So I want to tell people all the details,
all the hairy details are in that episode
of Toronto Mic'd with Derek Krist christoph which is 10 34 i so recommend it i mean we talked about
your role of roland with saget for god's sakes i almost could do the greatest hits right now
but forget the whole opiate addiction and comeback that's a story unto itself but you
fold in we got a call on that episode from stew stone okay so stew stone called in we talked
you dropped some major like truth bomb mind blows about stew stone the rolling with sagat thing we
talked about bob sagat also no longer with us shout out to ridley funeral home but that episode
so stellar but that lamont dozier stuff like he and then you you know i recently did a big deep
dive into like 60s girl groups and like the Supremes and everything.
Just because I fell into this hole where I was in it for weeks and weeks and weeks, 60s girl groups.
And I mean, Lamont Dozier, what a role he played in all that, like the stuff he was up to.
And to think of how he affected your life.
And that song, which I love, that's like my favorite decisive, like nobody with a notepad.
And that jam that you, Moonshine, ripped off, off which is fine you're allowed to do it i guess
you're supposed to like cite it and nah but he uh he added his flavor to it though of course
moon made it a monster of course i know you're joking but i'm joking it is it's just what a
perfect storm and what a great story you have there and that story only cost you 10 000 us
dollars so okay i going to play something now
that's newer than Nobody with a Notepad, okay?
So let's get something going here.
Oh.
And then you can talk over this.
I know you're always wondering,
can they hear us now?
Well, they'll hear us until this red light goes on,
so they can hear us now. Tony lived in a beautiful photograph
Used for a postcard, sold in a gift shop
Tony pushed his blue boat along an Italian sandy shore
Until it hit water
At 16, Tony's life was la dolce vita
All he needed was his blue boat,
old and beat up. Tony wanted to spend his whole life on the open sea. If Tony could, he would
row to Costa Rica. Known by everyone who spent time on Roman beaches, from Santa Marinella to
Ostia. The kids on the beach saw him as a local hero. He tells stories about exploring haunted ocean regions
to battle monsters with his old poison Roman spear
the Pope gave him for having the heart of a soldier beaten.
It was time for battle, so he bid them all goodbye.
The kids would cheer while their older sisters rolled their eyes through the crowd.
Tony saw a beauty in a red dress.
She made the storyteller speechless and his head sweat.
Despite the august sun he had never met
Such perfection, gone was his clever wit Sat by her legs and said, hi
She squinted like she didn't understand what he meant
Waited a second and said the two letters again She said, I heard you, I'm just disappointed
For a man who fought a war with the spear of poison
Against monsters of the sea
You'd at least have some sort of poem. I mean hi is for a simple man, not a soldier
Do you say hi to the pope when he has you over?
Tony laughed and said roses are red blue violets. You make the sweetest sugar taste like crude spices
I forever want to stare into your two eyelids. So how do I make you my brand new bride?
She smiled and said, hi
Thank you. Family members clapped while the lovers danced and wept To songs from an accordion From stars to morning a dream they both were in Never wake me from this beauty
Leave the needle on this record and projector on this movie
They slipped away for a moment on the water
Their once upon a time where their love story started on
Tony's boat in each other's arms
Tony hummed a song to the rhythm of their beating hearts
The waves crashed like a
cymbal hit Maria said so you got what you wished for now you're stuck with me until we have gray
hair and wrinkled skin how you kiss me now you'll have to kiss me then Tony grinned you're more
beautiful now than the first day I saw you so if my math is right and I fast forward 100 years to when you're 124, you'll be a century more gorgeous.
So to be honest, I'll kiss you more then than I do now.
She said you're sweet.
But in a century, you and me will be nothing but two skeletons in the ground.
And my Maria is the most wonderful skull and bones.
She said shut up and serenade me.
Oh, solo me.
Oh, staring at the waves waves he pulled her closer to
his chest i haven't listened to this in a while well i know we're both lost in this i don't even
want to fade it down but i want to hear her so i have questions one is this is the blue boat by
the way everybody now this album is called noblic gardens yep that's my new series. And this is the third in the series? Yep, it started in November, and we've been going an EP a month.
That is the wild and crazy project myself and Moonshine have taken upon us,
and we're dropping an EP a month for 12 months.
And this is the third installment, and this is my masterpiece my opera
yeah
this is epic
it's unlike really
anything I've ever done
I'm beyond proud of this one
I feel weird even talking about it like this
but
yeah it's just a full
story and it's inspired by
a true life true life tings.
When I was young, I lived in a building, 620 Northcliffe Boulevard.
Those who are aware of all of my music, they'll know Derek from Northcliffe.
And Tony and Maria were the superintendents of the building.
And yeah, I just remember them always being there.
You know, they're always in the lobby when we'd get home.
I'd see them almost every day, or at least one of them.
And one random day when I was 10,
and, you know, you got to also understand, like,
I'm getting a little bit scattered right now.
So I was home doing homework or just fucking around on the couch.
My mom was just like, OK, come on, we got to go downstairs.
And I just remember it being and it's just one of those, you know, you have those weird memories that it doesn't make sense of why it's in your head, but it's just there.
And it was just random, too, because my father, he was a truck driver and he worked nights and he was up earlier and I found that weird like why is
dad up and dressed so we
went downstairs and all
they would say is Tony's sick
so we went down to
their apartment we had never been into their
apartment but we walk in
and Tony is basically in
a hospital bed in the living room
and it just and Tony is basically in a hospital bed in the living room.
And it just made me feel feels hearing that piano.
But yeah, I don't want to tell the story too much because I want you all to listen to the project at knobletgardens.com.
So Tony was checking out.
And the part of the story that stuck in my head was
I remember him having a conversation
with my father which is what this song is what this song turns into and he was telling my dad
because my dad was like how are you feeling and he was you know saying i'm feeling a bit better
but once i once i'm back 100 the first thing i'm doing is i'm getting uh well this actually ties
all of our whole episode together
because Tony was like
as soon as I'm better I'm getting a ticket back to
Italy I haven't been home for like 20-25
years and every year I keep
saying this is the year I'm going to go back but I
never do I keep pushing it back
and here this guy is on his deathbed
telling my dad like
you know I'm getting better
so hopefully in a few months I'll be back in Italy to see everybody.
You know, this album, Knobloch Gardens,
not, by the way, a tribute to second baseman Chuck Knobloch.
Okay, I've confirmed that.
And have you been holding that in since I got here?
That's been just sitting right in your pocket.
Well, fucking Chuck Knobloch.
I mean, that was a big deal, Chuck Knobloch.
Okay, but not a tribute to Chuck Knobloch. Not a tribute. fucking Chuck Knobloch. I mean, that was a big deal, Chuck Knobloch. Okay, but not a tribute to Chuck Knobloch.
Not a tribute.
What is Knobloch Gardens?
Knobloch is the surname to what many would call my alter ego, Orville Knobloch.
My first project that I ever released, the book, it actually stood for The Ballad of Orville Knobloch.
Orville Knobloch is the ostrich.
for The Ballad of Orville Knoblick.
Orville Knoblick is the ostrich.
The ghost, the ostrich ghost that follows me and whispers everything into my ear that I write.
So Knoblick Gardens is the name of this series
that Rob and I are doing.
And each EP is different.
And The Blue Boat is the first titled EP.
So the first one was just Knoblick Gardens 1, then Knoblick Gardens 2, now this is 3, The Blue Boat is the first titled EP. So, like, the first one was just Noblet Gardens 1,
then Noblet Gardens 2, now this is 3, The Blue Boat.
We're now veering into more conceptual projects
because, you know, I can't do 12 EPs about me rapping
about almost dying off pills, so we got to switch it up.
And I wanted to flex my storytelling.
Yeah. And that's why flex my storytelling. Yeah.
And that's why this is very different
from anything I have ever done.
Like I said, it's not your typical 16 bar verses
and eight bar choruses.
Like I rapped for a long time on some of these songs
and it's definitely not like background at a party album.
You actually have to commit to this.
You have to sit and really listen to it well i keep
hearing the hulk hogan references so it's right up my alley man there it is yeah george the animal
steel i got the onto the giant here yeah congrats man because you are a storyteller and you are
gifted and uh it's all come together here and it really is like part of the theme today. Like you had your, you know, brush with death there
and that story was incredible.
I'm going through what I'm going through right now
and trying to avoid the strokes here, the blood thinner.
I got a blood clot on my brain
and here you are with your Magnus Opus.
Well, I felt like this was this,
like this is a story that has been in my head,
you know, since I was 10 years old.
It's something I've been, something would remind me of it at least once a year.
And I always wanted to tell it, but I just wasn't ready or the timing wasn't right.
And two months ago or a month and a half ago, I was like, well, I think now is the time to tell Tony's story.
And... Yeah.
Here we are.
Woo!
And it is probably the greatest Canadian rap album
of 2023.
No doubt, buddy. No doubt.
Congrats on this. And again, people can go to...
What is it? Where do you want to send people?
NoblicGgardens.com
K-N-O-B-L-I-C-H
gardens.com
Somebody dropped
the link on the pirate stream
live.torontomic.com
Interesting tech
thing here, just note for future self
is that the live stream
doesn't get stuff I play in the browser
for some reason, so because I'm on band camp right now,
this actually can't be heard in the live stream, but it's in the podcast.
Oh, they're not, so people, they just heard silence and us breathing?
The podcast, which is where almost everybody hears this anyway,
hears it like we hear it in the headphones.
So the way it is in your headphones is how it is in the podcast.
It's going to sound great.
They definitely hear you.
Damn, so I'm thinking of Tony. He wanted
to get back to Italy.
I'm sending you home with a Palma Pasta
lasagna, man. How's that for a segue?
How's that for a segue? It's perfect.
Did you get one last time? I did and it was
delicious and I ate it all myself.
Did you? Yes. How many days did it take you?
It's big, right?
It's a big lasagna. I've got another one
actually. I had to put in a rush order.
Bless you, Anthony Petrucci.
I said, Derek Kristof's coming over.
I'm out of lasagnas.
Because with that hospital stay, I kind of fell behind on a whole whack of shit.
Anyway, it arrived today.
You're going home with it.
I know you don't drink.
No.
But I do want to put out some love to Great Lakes Brewery.
Because that's a fiercely independent family-run
operation that produces some delicious fresh craft beer. And I will be live at the GLB Brew
Pub recording early April. And I got some really kick-ass guests lined up for that. So that's going
down. Love GLB and I have mad love for their support. You're a tech guy, so I just want to let you know, Mr. Christophe,
that if you have any old tech, any old gear that you need to get rid of,
don't throw that in the garbage, man.
We don't want that shit in the landfill.
There's a lot of chemicals and stuff.
You got to be careful of how you recycle your electronics.
The good people at EPRA want you to go to recyclemyelectronics.ca.
Find out a place near you.
You can drop shit off and they'll take care of you, man.
Thank you, EPRA, for recyclemyelectronics.ca.
Here's a quick story.
Then I'm going to get back to you here before we say goodbye.
But I had a long time great relationship with a cannabis retail outlet.
with a cannabis retail outlet.
And we recently ran afoul of some compliance issues with the province of Alberta.
And long story short is
I'm not allowed to talk about them on this podcast.
It violates some Canadian Cannabis Act law.
So this went down while I got out of the hospital.
I got that phone call the day i got out of the hospital i got that phone call the day i got
out of the hospital so i'm down a major sponsor who absolutely loved the relationship and this
is literally a plea to everyone listening there is a opening to replace my cannabis retail
sponsorship there's room on the back wall here i had to take down a poster wait what happened
what did you cannabis has kind of got canada we have a law how you can promote your cannabis
stuff yeah like and alberta's compliance officer had an issue with the fact that people in alberta
could hear toronto mic'd and then they could hear an advertisement for a cannabis retail store give me a break dude so the lawyers lawyers got involved in everything
not my lawyers because i'm sort of like i could throw my hands and say i didn't know but well i
know a lawyer in case you need one his name is okay dan the man but long basically i'm down a
sponsor that was going to be locked in for 2023.
So the way I work is I don't have time to go out hustling and selling.
I'm just producing good stories and having people like decisive over.
I had an 89-year-old guy over here on Friday.
It was fucking amazing.
His name is Richard Flohill.
And I got crash test dummies coming up.
Crash test dummies got their record deal because of Richard Flohill.
It's fucking wild what's going on. yeah that's a true story like it's all the whole the way everything's connected maybe
that's why i got the blood clot on the brain like my brain it's all connected it's all right there
i'm doing that okay because of good people like great lakes brewery and because of palma pasta
and because of epra and because of ridley Funeral Home, and I won't name the cannabis company, but they were amazing.
They were locked in for 2023, but I'm not allowed to talk about them anymore.
I guess I should stop asking questions, but why can't you just say,
fuck you, Alberta?
Why do you have to?
No, I can do that.
It's they who don't want to do that because if they run afoul,
it could be very serious for their business. Oh, so the lawyers can do that. It's they who don't want to do that because if they run afoul, it can be very serious for their business.
Oh, so the lawyers hit them up.
Yes.
And you just got hit.
It's their lawyers that got hit up by the compliance officer.
Dude.
And the guy there, who I won't name except he's been on the show
and he's got a great voice, and he was almost crying when he talked to me.
He said, look, we would sponsor you to the death and we love your show but we need to
pause shit while our lawyers figure this out with this compliance officer and it was like he was
like he was telling me he ran over my dog okay when i got this phone call from the man long story
short is yeah this is only the second episode where i didn't mention that great uh great company
in the intro and i'm not going to mention
them in the outro.
They're not going to be
on the blog post.
Their poster's no longer
on the wall.
But that's an opening.
Somebody's going to step up
and sponsor Toronto Mike
to keep this going.
I got so many stories to tell.
We need to sponsor people.
Now.
Let's do it.
Andiamo.
And I have ideas
and they're flying out
and we got shit to do here.
Back to my guest, decisive, natural born storyteller.
How fucking proud are you of this Noblet Gardens project?
I am.
I am.
And not even just about the project, just to finally be back.
It's been like years.
Like the thing that freaked me out the most was realizing how long it's been since i
released something like time flies by and that's one thing my father always used to tell me and
here i'm rapping about him right now the song is named after him um arger's drive but as a kid
that's what he would always tell me you The older you get, the faster time is
flying by. And I guess another message
of just enjoy the moments as they...
Enjoy every sandwich.
Warren Zevon.
You got terminal
cancer because he was afraid of doctors.
So he never went. And then by the time
he went, they said, hey, it's too late, man.
You're dying.
And he went on Letterman and Letterman
said, any advice for us?
Because he knew he didn't have long to go.
And he said, enjoy every sandwich.
And he just went in the studio
and like, was the album called The Wind?
You'll Be In My Heart. That's the big jammy.
Yeah, that album he put out when he was dying.
It was incredible. He's a storyteller too.
Yeah. You're like Warren Zevon, buddy.
Except you're gonna live a long, long time.
Yeah, I hope so.
Can I name check somebody?
I got to stay away from trees.
Why don't you stay away from my lower gorge, okay?
Yeah.
I'm going to name check somebody
who's on the live stream at live.torontomic.com.
Tell me if you know this name.
You ready?
Yeah.
Primary sources.
Of course I know it.
That's my brother.
That's my boy.
He's probably running wild on the stream,
writing all kinds of messages.
He says, drop my name, please.
Of course I will drop his name.
That's my brother.
I got to call him.
Well, that reminds me.
I'm going to plug something quick.
Yeah, plug anything.
I have a performance coming up with Primal Mary Sources.
I think he's rolling with me.
He's going to DJ my set.
We're going to tear down Lindsay, Ontario together.
That's like
Coerthas, right?
I don't know.
Peterborough area is like Coerthas.
Yeah, I don't know.
But we're rocking May 6th
at
the
Pie-Eyed Monk.
Lindsay, Ontario, May 6th.
Me and the God that is primary sources.
I love him a lot.
He's good people.
He would be a funny guy.
Maybe I'll bring him with me next time I come on the show.
Yeah, you can bring him with you this year.
Yeah, he's a wild man.
He's going to come swimming with us when we go swimming.
I got to take him swimming.
I keep telling him I was supposed to go with him last week
and I flopped some things came up
what'll happen tonight when you get home
with your lasagna
from Palma Pasta
and your wife's at the door
she's like happy 13 years babe
what happens next
anything happen tonight
we sit on the couch
we watch episode 2 of this is us tonight or just a big hug and a kiss? We sit on the couch. We watch
episode two of This Is Us.
You're on two?
No. Is that the zombie show?
Yeah. What's it called? Last of Us.
Last of Us. Yeah, we just started. Well, that was the joke.
This Is Us is a whole different show.
My wife said the same thing last night when I thought
it was This Is Us as well.
Okay, so you just started it. You're only on two.
So are you finished it? No, I was watching the Osccars last night so tonight my wife and i are gonna watch uh yesterday's
episode is that the finale i think so okay so yeah because succession takes the spot like uh
the final dude dude are you a succession guy yeah i'm updated on succession yeah that's my life
like that is my... Fuck off!
Succession is my obsession.
See what I did?
Woo!
I cannot wait.
I'm counting that as my early birthday present.
Next Sunday. No, 26th.
Or 23rd or 26th.
Okay.
And I actually bought a book recently called Unscripted.
I haven't started it.
And it's about one of the moguls that...
I'm so horrible with everything.
They based it on that because they did...
It's based on Rupert Murdoch.
Yeah, there's a lot of Murdoch in there.
There's a bit of Trump in there.
And this guy, I think his name is Summer...
Hold on.
Go ahead, buddy.
I love talking TV.
Fact checking.
Very few shows capture my attention, but Succession's one that did.
Oh, dude.
And I like Last of Us, too.
Epic battle for Hollywood media empire.
Wait till you see episode three of Last of Us.
It's a fucking, like a beautiful film.
I think his name is Summer Anhill.
It might not be Anhill.
I just don't want to be staring at my phone while we have precious minutes.
That's okay, because I got your music in the background.
But it's based on, yeah, one of the dudes, man.
Fuck, I sound like a fool.
No, listen.
Sumner, Redstone.
Sumner, Redstone.
Yes, of course.
So, yeah, Succession is my shit.
So, anyways, we start watching The Last of Us or whatever.
Last of Us.
And, I don't know, spoiler alert.
Wait.
No.
What are you spoiling?
I'm just saying the first 15 minutes of the episode is really, it's about the daughter.
Right.
Right?
Like, I'm not going to say anything else.
It's just the daughter is a predominant character for the first 15 minutes.
Right?
Like, you know, that's not giving away anything.
So I was making a joke because the daughter is, I don't, is a brave character.
Let's just say that.
And I was kind of joking, saying my daughter would not be brave if what was happening happens.
And then we're staring at the TV and my wife just goes, it's not a fucking movie.
Mocking my hurricane.
Or mocking my tornado.
Right.
Okay.
I love it, man.
So it's very good.
She's very funny. But that's what's going to happen
tonight. Okay. It would be nice to get
a little romance in. But we're tired
parents. We're tired old people.
We have similar nights planned because, yeah,
I'm going to kiss you goodbye outside,
take a photo. I'm going to eat something
and I'm going to watch the Last of Us
episode that aired last night.
So we have similar nights planned, actually.
So, but am I sticking this show out?
Because I did find it to become a little slow.
Which one?
Episode, uh, no, Last of Us.
Succession is my religion.
I'm enjoying it.
No, I'm enjoying it.
And you're, uh, you just finished two?
About to start two.
And three is next level.
Five is incredible.
I would stick with it.
It's a short season and it's good. It's all filmed in I would stick with it. It's a short season, and it's good.
It's all filmed in Alberta.
Oh, really?
It's all Alberta.
My wife's from Edmonton,
and she's pointing out,
especially in episodes one and two there,
she's pointing out, like,
the building,
this is where I would ever,
like, it's all Alberta.
My wife's from Alberta.
What part of Alberta?
I can't remember.
See how much we have in common,
by the way?
Yeah, that is crazy.
We have that in common,
and we have Stu Stone in common.
We will.
Any plans to collaborate with Stu Stone at some point?
I don't know.
He owes me a book.
Him and Jamie Kennedy owe me a book.
I heard Stu, so Stu hasn't done my show in quite some time, actually,
because he's been in the States filming like a Dark Side of the Ring
or some kind of Vice.
Oh, that's why he's back out there?
Yeah, the wrestling show.
He's working, basically.
Yeah, the wrestling show.
So he's working hard.
And he's working hard.
So he hasn't been on my show in a while.
But I did hear him on Jamie Kennedy's show.
And I'll just say I like Stu better on Toronto Mike than I do in the Jamie Kennedy show.
I didn't particularly like the way Jamie.
I don't know.
I know that was the way it was back in the day.
I'm looking at blowing up is right over here.
I know that's what, you know, but I think Stu's like growing past all that.
I think he's beyond all that.
Yeah, I could see that.
Yeah, they were telling some good Saget stories on there.
It got interesting.
I wish they got a little bit deeper but i don't think they can
or it's just it's better to not i think there's some things that went down in that relationship
with jamie and stew yeah and bob and bob interesting well like they didn't involve
jamie and stew with any of i maybe i can talk freely about it this is what i read from it
like you know bob passes away and they have a bunch of
tributes to the guy,
but they didn't invite
Jamie or Stu to any of them.
And if you really want
to break it down,
Jamie and Stu were the first to,
you know,
ignite that Bob Saget
stick of dynamite.
Like, like,
they were rolling with Saget
is,
it sounds weird
because I
pretty much wrote
the fucking thing. You wrote it. But fucking thing but uh that it wasn't my idea
so i can't i'll never claim that but like that was the first time anyone used bob saget in that way
you know he was the wholesome sitcom father and they were the ones that created this monster side
and which is weird because i just watched entourage not long ago
i kind of flew through it and they have bob saget in a episode you know four or five episode arc
where he's like you know a cokehead and talking about blowjobs and you know just the crazy side
the side of saget that rollingwood saget gave birth to. And you think they were basically erased, that history was erased.
Kind of, yeah.
And it felt like they were kind of touching on that.
But you don't want to say that shit because if you're the one saying it,
it makes you look maybe douchey or a little thirsty,
but I can say it.
Like, they should have been a part of all that.
Like, the guy used this, Saget used this song as his walkout song for every stand-up gig.
It was on his roast.
It was on his HBO comedy special.
I didn't get paid any money at all.
I'm just squeezing that into this part.
And then to not use them for anything?
I don't know.
It's a bit grimy.
Why do you think they were deleted there? Why do you think they were erased? I don't know. I don't know. It's a bit grimy. So why do you think they were deleted there?
Why do you think
they were erased?
I don't know.
Yeah, I don't know.
That I can't.
And that would be
the Saget's family
that would make that
like sort of...
Maybe, but there were
also other comics involved,
right?
Like I think Jeff Ross
and John Mayer,
they were a part of it.
But like, you know,
I was watching...
It was such a trip
to watch like John Stamos
on Instagram posting my fucking song, you know, like driving in his car and lip syncing words that I wrote.
And, you know, it had an impact.
Now, I just I feel like Rolling with Saget was a bit too early.
You know, YouTube wasn't what YouTube is.
Oh, yeah, because this is the conversation I've had with Stu many times, which is why weren't they Lonely Island?
You know what I mean?
Because Lonely Island does the same thing and blows up in a different level.
But it was later.
You know, I don't know.
There maybe wasn't the platform.
Like I said, YouTube really wasn't what it became at the time.
And it was just maybe two years too early.
You better ask someone.
I wrote that line.
I can tell you all the parts I wrote.
Yeah, talk over this.
Did I tell you about the part
that didn't make it?
Did I talk about the last episode?
Remind me.
So I wrote,
I think maybe one or two drafts of it.
And then they kept certain chunks
and then changed shit.
Contributed their own lyrics lyrics but there was one part that i was so proud of and i guarantee you i probably told this the last time i was here but it's it
hurts me deep inside because it would have been hilarious now i'm sure you're aware of the jay-z
song 99 problems of course so there's the part where he gets pulled over by the cop,
and he does...
I didn't pass the bar, but I know a little bit.
Yep, see? You know it.
That was a perfect line to use in that moment.
But I had a part where...
I think there's a part in this where...
I haven't listened to it in a while,
but the cop pulls over Bob Saget and them in the car or whatever.
But I had a line in the original version.
I wonder if Stu even has the demo
because I also had to record it.
So I recorded the whole song, sent them a version
to go off of. But there was a line
so the cop pulls over Bob Saget
and then the cop goes
you know, do you know why I'm stopping you for?
And then Bob Saget was supposed to
rap, because I'm young and I'm black
and my hat's real low.
Do I look like a mind reader sir i don't
know and fucking stew told me mtv was like no no no but how fucking amazing would have that would
that have been hearing bob saget going because i'm young and i'm black and my hat's real low
that would have been unbelievable. Woo! But it didn't happen.
You know what? We're doing our own trilogy here.
This is part two of three, so
we're absolutely going to do a part three, but
I got to say, I'm glad
you survived the tornado.
I'm glad you're still doing well.
I'm so fucking excited for you.
This Noblick Gardens,
no relation to Chuck Knobloch, this Noblick Gardens
project is like your
magnus opus and you're at the peak of your creativity and you're a master storyteller
and i gotta say i love hanging with you i love rolling with decisive yep write me a rap song
rolling with decisive all right rolling with toronto mike and listen shout out you know ill
vibe who did my uh theme song illy just so you know, I might be commissioning Decisive to write me
a new theme song. I don't know.
I can't take away from
Illy. Can't take
away what he's built. He's a good man.
But thanks for this, buddy.
We're going to take the picture. I'm going to get to
the lasagna and we're going to do this again, man.
In that order.
You down for round three?
Dude, you tell me.
I'll be here.
I don't even live that far.
I'll see you tomorrow night.
I will be here.
We got to start our This Is Us after show or whatever the fuck the show's called.
We'll do it for succession.
I will do that, dude.
I'm actually trying to think of something.
And this is the last season, too.
I didn't know it was the last.
I only saw that because it was advertised during the Oscars,
and it said final season.
I had no idea.
Yeah, I saw the trailer like two days ago.
Quickly, I know this is your goodbye music.
What did you think of the Oscars last night?
What did I think of it?
I thought it needed a couple of slaps,
I think.
Yeah, it was boring.
All Oscars are boring.
But it's kind of always,
yeah.
I said this to my wife.
I said,
why do we watch again?
Because it's always boring.
Yeah.
I think it's always boring.
But meanwhile,
I think I lasted the whole time.
I watched the whole thing.
I think we're all watching
in case something happens,
which has only happened
like once.
Yeah, ever.
Ever.
That dress,
that white dress was pretty irritating did
you see that i think the artist's name was tims and it was like this giant like veil i didn't know
i didn't know that now i'm even trying to remember uh my my mom yesterday my mom was telling me the
host that was going to be steve kimmel she thought his name was steve kimmel i thought that was
funny i'm like oh oh, Steve Kimmel.
That's what you called me when I got here today.
I did do a little family Oscar
pool where we don't do all the
categories. We just do the big 11. I call it
the big 11. I went 10 for 11
and won the pool. I actually
missed out on supporting actress because I
didn't think Jamie Lee Curtis was going to win.
Other than that, I ran
the table. You picked Angela Bassett?
Actually, I picked the other woman
from everything, everywhere, all at once.
Yeah, I kind of thought it was going to be a clean sweep
except for Brendan Fraser.
See, I knew Brendan was going to win.
I thought he'd win, but I nailed everything.
And it's good for a Canadian.
I'll just shout out Torontonian Sarah Pauly,
who won one of the screenplay awards.
And those screenplay...
She did?
Yeah.
She won Best Adapted Screenplay last night
for Women Talking.
Amazing.
I got to shout out a guy named Steve Cole,
who listens to the show,
who taught me how to say women.
I was saying woman and women the same.
And he explained to me that actually when you say women, it's like
W-I-M-M-I-N. Like it's
women. Because I was reading
it like it was spelled and it would sound
the same as woman. That's how
you say it? Women? Like that's the proper way?
Well, that's how he taught me to say it. And since I started
saying it, no one's complaining. So I think
I've nailed it. Decisive. We've got to wind down.
I got shit to do. I got
a, you got an anniversary to get to.
I've got to go home and kiss my wife.
And I've turned you on, so you're all set.
Yeah, I'm fired up.
I'm bonered up.
And that...
These blood thinners are like boner pills, too.
That better be in the title, too.
Decisive Bonered Up.
And that brings us to the end of our 1,219th episode.
You can follow me on Twitter.
I'm at Toronto Mike.
Wait, 1219?
Yeah.
Are you serious?
Yeah.
Look at this.
But I'm running out of song, but yeah.
Oh, my God.
What are you going to do?
1219, 1219.
Derek, show me something.
I was just about to order this today.
Now I wonder if this is a sign.
Okay, while you look that up,
our friends at Great Lakes Brewery are at Great Lakes Beer.
Palma Pasta is at Palma Pasta. Recycle
My Electronics are at EPRA underscore Canada.
1219 Room.
That's fucking wild. Dude, I was going to order
a book called Room 1219.
I might have to do it now. This is weird.
Ridley Funeral Home are at Ridley FH.
See you all next week. Follow
Decisive. He's at Derek Christoph on Twitter.
Nobletgardens.com
Nobletgardens.com
And if you or anyone you know dies, Ridley Funeral Home.
All day long.
And eat Palma's Kitchen pizza.
Blah.
Lasagna.
You blew the line.
In the reception.
Shout out to Great Lakes Brewery.