Toronto Mike'd: The Official Toronto Mike Podcast - Elvis: Toronto Mike'd #242
Episode Date: June 17, 2017Mike catches up with Elvis....
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Welcome to episode 242 of Toronto Mic'd, a weekly podcast about anything and everything.
Proudly brought to you by Great Lakes Brewery, a local independent brewery producing fresh craft beer.
And propertyinthesix.com, Toronto real estate done right.
Toronto real estate done right.
I'm Mike from torontomike.com and joining me is a man who loves
a peanut butter and banana and bacon sandwich.
Elvis.
Is that a Great Lakes beer you opened up there?
Oh, it tastes so good when it touches your lips.
I'm so thirsty.
Tell the good people. It's so good. Which one it is. I'm so thirsty. Tell the good people which one it is.
I'm having an octopus wants to fight IPA.
And it's good.
It's really fucking good.
I love these guys.
These guys make really good beer.
I enjoy it.
I have one as well, and I will open it in a moment.
I have to open it right on the microphone.
Are we recording?
I'm recording, yes.
All right.
You think I'm just playing that song because I dig it?
Yeah, sure. I do dig it. You do. Speaking of songs that I'm recording, yes. All right. You think I'm just playing that song because I dig it? Yeah, sure.
I do dig it.
You do.
Well, speaking of songs that I dig, hold on.
Really, do you want to play a song of someone who's then going to die next week?
Too late.
This guy's already dead.
No, this guy's already dead.
Oh, I won't bore everyone with the same story when I told the kids that Elvis died on the
toilet.
He did.
I told you this.
Yeah, yeah. But they think you're Elvis, and this is like He did. I told you this. Yeah, yeah.
But they think you're Elvis, and this is like years ago.
I told you this, right?
No, you didn't tell me this.
I didn't tell you this.
So they thought I died?
Yeah, yeah.
You might have, but I don't remember.
Okay, so this would be, I'm going to guess, five years ago.
Amazing.
Like five years ago.
We're in the car, and I said, you know, Elvis died on the toilet.
And I remember Michelle goes, really?
And James was like, seriously, Doug?. And I remember Michelle goes, really? And James was like,
seriously, Doug?
I remember this.
And I'm like, yeah.
Imagine they didn't know.
He thought he had to go to the bathroom.
That's often what happens
when you have a heart attack.
You think you have to take a shit.
That's why a lot of people
have heart attacks on the toilet.
Well, he had a twisted colon
and all sorts of stuff too.
A twisted mind.
But that would have been crazy
for your children.
Well, they were shocked how casually I was telling them.
I mean, just now, though, walking into the studio.
No, we cleared it up in the same car ride.
At some point, it was like an episode of Three's Company,
where you just have a misunderstanding.
What a great show.
Yeah, every episode was pretty much somebody was in the kitchen
listening to a conversation.
Right, and there was a misunderstanding.
Yeah, they heard the end of it or the beginning of it, and then...
Yeah, maybe they were talking about a dog.
Like, oh, should we put her down?
They thought they were talking about, like, Chrissy Snow or something.
That's right. That's right. Chrissy.
That's every episode.
Chrissy, Janet, and Jack.
And then Larry Dallas.
Oh, Larry was always there.
But who was your favorite, Mr. Furley or Mr. Roper?
Oh, yeah, that's hard.
I liked Mr. Furley, but Mr. and Mrs. Roper were pretty good, too.
It's definitely a 1A, 1B kind of situation for me.
You know what sucks for the Ropers?
They're given a spinoff.
Yes.
So they leave the show.
And then the spinoff tanks.
Yes.
And they can't come back.
As most do.
Most spinoffs do tank.
But a lot of times they'll bring you back.
Sure, but Mr. Furley was already
really good. He's also
a freaking legend.
They brought this enormous actor
to come and fill in for them. It's kind of hard to
then kill that guy off too. Don Knotts, man.
That guy had a great delivery. He did.
He had that shtick down pat.
But that show is also a show that would not
be able to be on TV now.
Because of the gay stuff?
Yeah, because it doesn't make any sense.
I mean, the whole reason why Jack was Jack in that situation was that he had to pretend he was gay to live with two women.
Oh, yeah.
Now they wouldn't give a shit.
That would just not make sense.
The premise wouldn't hold up.
No, not at all.
It definitely would not make it up.
And there was a lot of, like, I remember a lot of Twinkle Toes jokes. Remember? Twinkle To up. No, not at all. It definitely would not make it up. And there was a lot of like, I remember a lot of twinkle toes jokes.
Remember?
Twinkle toes.
Yes, exactly.
Roper would do that thing with his hand or whatever.
Totally.
It definitely would not work.
I mean, it's funny, but it's just, it's definitely facets of time.
Happy Father's Day.
Same to you.
Combined, we have seven children.
You know what's funny is that one of the women on my team said Happy Father's Day to me on Friday.
And to be funny but also partially instinctual, I said, same to you.
Oh, yeah.
Same to you.
I like your team.
It sounds like your slow-pitch team.
But this is a work thing.
Yeah, definitely.
Definitely.
No, no, no.
It's a work thing.
I want to make that sound you made.
Hold on.
Oh, I love that sound.
It's so great.
We're going to have to do, well, at least I am anyway. I'm going to do many, many of those sounds tonight. Hold on. Oh, I love that sound. It's so great.
We're going to have to, we're going to do, well, at least I am anyway.
I'm going to do many, many of those sounds tonight.
I'm excited.
I can't afford you to have to.
No, you only have to buy me one.
But they put it in a thing.
They do, but you can buy cans as well.
Is that right?
Yeah, yeah.
So let's tell the good people. Okay, so what is this?
Saturday at like 5 p.m.?
Saturday, June 17th at 4.54 p.m.
Eastern.
Eastern time.
Eastern daylight time.
You know, we just had a tornado warning.
Yeah, whatever.
It is.
I know, but like every of my Facebook feed blew up.
Like, oh, tornado.
Down here, it was like a light rain for like 15 minutes.
Yeah, there was light rain where I was coming from too.
But I did see some pictures on twitter from like north york and it did look like an intense cloud
action that we didn't get down here but anyway there was a tornado warning i was thinking
uh ideal for our bike ride to be mo field to watch tfc tonight like that is perfect i'm excited today
is a day of first for me tell me all thes. So I have a friend of mine who is traveling
to Denmark currently, and she agreed to give
me her keys so I could...
Excuse me.
That was rude.
See, you know, Howard Stern can do that
because he's Howard Stern.
You can't do that.
I'm sorry.
I couldn't speak.
It was coming out.
How many sits have you had?
It was coming right out. So anyway, so I have her keys, and so I'm sorry. I couldn't speak. It was coming out. How many sips have you had? It was coming right out.
So anyway, so I have her keys, and so I'm able to stay downtown tonight, which is fantastic.
Hookers and Coke.
I took the TTC here, Mike.
I took the bus, which I never take the bus.
Oh, yeah, because the streetcar is not working because we're doing the track work. So I walked up Bathurst
to Queen Street. I got on the bus
and I came all the way here and Google told me
it was going to take an hour and four minutes and it took 45.
That's why you're early. That's right.
And so I don't take buses.
I'll take a streetcar. I'll take the subway.
I don't like the bus. Normally that's a streetcar.
Correct. Which would have been perfect.
Because the track work is happening. Correct.
And then I'm doing this now.
I'm living in the moment doing this podcast, which is not a first, but then I'm going to
get on a bike and I can't remember the last time I got on a bike and we're going to ride
to BMO.
Okay.
Help me out here.
So you're going to ride to BMO.
Right.
And then ride back.
And then I'm going to ride back and then I'm going to get on the TTC and go back or maybe
I'll call an Uber.
Why don't you just TTC to BMO
and then walk?
Because then I'm by myself again.
I was excited to bike.
Hey, I'm ready for you.
Are you okay with that?
I don't know if I can handle it, honestly.
Do you want to wear a helmet for this ride?
Or are you going to risk it?
I might risk it, which is dumb.
We're not going to go that fast.
It's trail, right?
Most of it.
At Norris Crescent.
Between First Street and Norris Crescent, you'll have to be on Lakeshore.
But it's not...
Oh, my God.
It's very wide and very...
You'll be fine.
Is there a barrier?
No, there's no...
There's no bike lane.
There's no bike lane?
No.
You're just going to be like...
I don't know if I've ever ridden on the street in Toronto.
Is that right?
Honestly.
Yeah, because I've never ridden it.
I never...
And you'll be on my old...
The bike I had when I was 17 years old.
All right.
Cool.
Don't mind the rusty chain.
You'll be fine.
Okay, cool.
Is that a Sun Garden restaurant?
Yeah.
Oh, you know what?
Let's start with that.
I don't have rusty cage, but I have some other stuff here.
Because this is your first episode since Chris Cornell passed away.
Is that right?
Yes, it is. Because the last episode that I was on, we played
all the songs, or top five songs you like
with Jesus in the title or Jesus in the lyrics.
And Jesus Christ's pose was number one.
Yeah, and then a month later.
And that was it. It's like the death chair or whatever.
It's crazy.
So this is another death that I didn't cry
or anything. I've only done that twice, but as has been documented many times.
Twice in the past year.
Year.
That's right.
Yeah.
I went 40 years of my life, and then the 40th year, two people died that I didn't even know
I was going to cry about.
But this one is a tough one because I think of all the grunge singers, and you know that
I'm not a fan of Pearl Jam, so Eddie Vedder is completely out of the equation for me.
Great singer, though.
I enjoyed Chris's voice the most.
I thought he was the most versatile.
I thought he was, from a musical perspective
and from the different types of things that he's done,
he's the most successful.
Yeah.
Right?
Because he had three bands, you know. You're right, the most successful. He had three bands.
You know,
the best range.
Temple of the Dog, Audioslave, and Soundgarden.
Temple of the Dog doesn't count.
They put an album. But that was a tribute to Andrew Wood.
That was just basically Mother Love Bone
plus Chris Cornett. Mother Love Bone
plus Soundgarden and then this guy
from San Diego named Ed Vedder who was
looking for a band.
But still, it was a band. Right, right.
So, I mean, it wasn't,
I mean, you know.
But still, it was a band.
They recorded, right?
They recorded an album,
a great album.
So, they wanted a two and a half.
How about we compromise
a two and a half band?
But I mean,
and how many guys can,
you know,
be part of one of the most
iconic bands
like Soundgarden
and then actually go
and be part of a super group
that produces multiple albums
and multiple good, and multiple good tunes.
And he had a pretty good solo career, really.
He did.
Let's play the single song I always like, but you keep talking and I'll let Seasons...
You know what, guys?
For those of you listening and you don't really know Chris Cornell's solo stuff, just go on Spotify or iTunes or whatever.
And just listen to some of his solo stuff.
Like, it's just remarkable to think of a guy who's a rock and roll dude,
a guy who's screaming into a microphone.
The guy has an amazing voice.
And the ability to arrange songs
in such a unique way that just makes them,
makes a good song just crazy different and crazy good.
It's definitely, you know...
This is from the single soundtrack.
Depression is such a shitty thing, man.
It really fucking sucks.
And it's sad.
Really is sad.
Yeah, I can't add much to that except I can imagine.
I don't even pretend to know what it's like.
And who is that fucking guy from the band who said that he's a coward?
I have no idea.
Are we not beyond that? Who said that? Some guy from some band in said that he's a coward? I have no idea. Are we not beyond that?
Who said that?
Some guy from some band in that era.
I can't remember who, but he came out and said he was a fucking coward because he had a wife and kids.
Here's what I learned.
Here's what I learned.
You can never put yourself...
We think of our rational mind.
At least I think of my rational...
I'll change that.
I think of my rational mind. I can't apply my thought process to what is he thinking
because he's thinking through this depression filter.
It's a disease.
But I can't even, how could I ever know what that's like?
Exactly.
So I don't pretend to know.
So you're right.
It's easy to say, oh, what a coward.
He has a wife and kids, whatever.
No, because you're applying your own logical, rational thought to that situation.
He's not thinking about that in that moment.
It's a disease.
He's suffering from a disease.
Absolutely.
I don't know.
From the sounds of things, it sounded like it was just a whole bunch of things happened at the same time.
And that for whatever reason, he was just not feeling it at that moment.
And he had enough around him to do what he needed to do. Well, I mean, there was a descript...
Someone, I think it was TMZ, I think,
but they put together, like, this is how he did it.
And it was really, like, thought out and orchestrated.
Like, this isn't some...
The way he hanged himself
was very much like he intended to hang himself.
Oh, really? I didn't see any of that stuff.
TMZ gave way more detail than we should
ever have on this subject. Interesting.
Yeah. I was going to say, Martin Streak's
birthday was yesterday. Had he lived,
he would have been 53. I saw that.
I think of Chris Cornell,
similar to Martin Streak in the sense that
when he did
this in 2009, I was thinking
like, oh, wow like how could he just
choose to opt out like i was applying my own like rational thought to it like it makes no sense
and then i've subsequently learned that uh somebody who's suffering from this disease
doesn't think that way if if martin the streak had decided the world was better off without him
there for example then he thinks he's doing the world a
service like it's not a cowardly thing at all it's right think of your think of like a like a
a disease where your body attacks itself like that's not logical why would your body our bodies
are not built to attack themselves right they're meant to function and you know fight off disease
and fight off infection and whatever but then there's diseases out there that turn the body against itself,
and then suddenly the body is beyond repair.
It's the same type of idea.
You can't apply logic to something that just doesn't have that element to it.
It's really sad.
In the last Elvis episode when we played Jesus Christ pose,
I believe we did talk about how he was the best vocalist of those grunge singers.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm certain.
Cause I've always believed that the best singer of the bunch.
Big time.
I liked Kurt Cobain's yell,
his kind of,
so did I.
And I,
I know you don't,
but I like Eddie Vedder's voice.
Sure.
I get that it's unique and it's distinct.
I get like,
I mean,
I get that.
And certainly he sold a lot of records,
so you can't take that away from him.
And I liked Layne Staley's voice with Alice in Chains.
But the best singer of the bunch, without a doubt.
Are you going to burp this whole episode?
So Alice in Chains, I think I told you this before.
I wasn't a big Alice in Chains fan at the time.
They weren't really my thing.
But after I got Sirius serious i can't remember when that
was that would must have been 100 years ago when i got serious radio and i would always listen to
lithium and i still do channel 34 on serious xm if you guys have it it's the one of the only
stations i listen to and they play a shit ton of jane's addiction and alice in chains and i was
like fuck these guys are good and i wish i knew that and recognized that back in the day.
But I didn't.
But yeah.
And then his story is fucked up.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
He just wasted away.
They didn't discover him for like three days.
Yeah.
Well, longer than that, I think.
Is it that long?
And he was like, you know, weighed like 75 pounds or something.
Like, it was just fucked up.
I once saw the Alice in Chains with the new singer.
Oh, really?
At the amphitheater, which is now Budweiser Stage.
That's right.
I saw that.
Actually, I ran by that.
I was there.
I ran by the Budweiser Stage today.
Oh, did you?
Oh, yeah, because you were doing the Waterfront Trail.
Yeah.
So what was I going to say?
Oh, they're all gone.
So Kurt's gone, obviously.
And even if you bring in Stone Temple Pilots, Scott Weiland's gone.
Lane Staley's gone.
What do they say? I mean, I think some of the hardcore grunge guys were saying Eddie
Vedder's, like everyone was saying Eddie Vedder's the only one left. And then I think
hardcore grunge guys were saying, don't forget about the lead singer guy from Mudhoney. Because
Mudhoney sort of recognizes like the first grunge band.
That's right.
And he's still around. But obviously they didn't have the notoriety that the other grunge band. That's right. And he's still around. But obviously, they didn't have the notoriety
that the other big four did.
Right, didn't have the big mainstream hits.
Right, exactly.
Which maybe makes them more grungy
than all the other ones combined.
But for the mainstream grunge rock bands,
Eddie's Last Man Standing.
Yes.
I think I tweeted this, but I hope he...
You know the end of Six Feet Under
when Claire is like 103 years old or whatever and they put Coleman over there? Spoiler alert. I thought I tweeted this, but I hope you know the end of Six Feet Under when Claire is like 103 years
old or whatever in the coma.
I thought we were a decade.
I never saw Six Feet Under.
If you haven't seen it yet,
go back and rewind this
and skip this part.
That's
what I hope for Eddie. Eddie can die
of old age in his bed at 103 years old.
You'd hope. That's what I hope.
By the way, let's talk TFC for a second.
Since we're going to see TFC, I haven't seen TFC in a long time,
not since you took me, and you didn't take me last year.
I didn't take you last year, did I?
I don't think so.
You threaded to a couple times.
I think you know what you did?
You booted me for your daughter, I think.
I did, yeah.
You're right, I did.
I'm still upset about it.
I'm okay with that.
I know.
I'm still pissed off at your daughter. This is the problem.
When a team gets as good and as exciting and as popular as TFC is,
and I know that Fred listening to this, which I know he's not,
but if he was, he would be like...
He proudly will not listen to any podcasts.
Don't you think it's weird for a podcaster to be proud that he won't listen to any podcasts?
I just think that's strange, but continue.
Yeah, so now all the games are in the evening.
Some of them are during the week, very few.
And the ones that are on the weekend now, like kickoff for us is 8 o'clock.
Okay.
My daughter or my son are not going to those games.
So there's not a lot of afternoon games left.
So that's good for me.
It is good for, well, it's good for everybody, really,
but not for my kids.
And I'd really like them to go to more games
because it's, you know, I fully intend to have these tickets
for a long, long time and make it a family thing.
And it's tough.
I mean, eight is good because, yeah, I think I'd go to bed.
But you have three kids.
As the younger kids become ready for TFC,
I'm going to be really pinched here.
You will.
But they only have maybe one or two games
that are in the afternoon,
so I just rotate them.
I think the next one to go is Holly,
and then Grace will be next,
and then Holly and Grace,
and then Charlie at some point in time.
Yeah, when he enters a rotation,
you're going to be in big trouble, man.
It's fucked up.
You know, I'll feel really old when they go without me.
They have the tickets and they go without me.
When I took my daughter to
TFC, when I took my daughter to Chance the
Rapper, I actually offered my son to go
with Michelle and I said,
you can go. I was fine. You guys can both
go, whatever. He said, no, go have
a father-daughter bonding time
or whatever.
I was thinking that would have been the first time
I sent them off and I was all set to do it.
And then James let me have the ticket,
which is very sweet of him.
How old is your daughter?
Michelle is going to be 13 in July.
Look at that.
Almost 13.
So if you had done that,
would you have gone with them and then waited outside?
Yeah, like, I mean,
it turned out to be like a big thunderstorm.
It would have been shitty,
but I plan to bike with them. Right. And then Yeah, like, I mean, it turned out to be, like, a big thunderstorm. It would have been shitty. But I planned to bike with them.
Right.
And then go bike around and do shit.
And then they could text me or whatever when they're done.
And then we could bike back.
Yeah, like, at that time of night, I'd probably bike home with them.
Yeah.
See, yesterday, for example, they biked from their moms to my house by themselves.
So they're now doing, like, a pretty...
How far?
12K.
So they're, like, a Jane and dundas thing to like here
nice they come down windermere and they like to take the water but they do that independently now
so like yeah they're growing up man it's pretty awesome look at you okay so tfc is doing well
right they are top of the table and they are top of the table by a long uh like a big margin
four or five points i think we should win tonight. So things are good in TFC land.
I'm excited.
I'm excited.
I don't own, this is sad,
but the only thing I own that is red
is my Zoo Run t-shirt.
You could wear the shirt that you're wearing now.
You're wearing the Gord Downey Jaws shirt.
Yeah, I could wear this and the scarf.
Sure, yeah, yeah.
All right, that's what I'm going to do.
That's fine.
Okay, cool.
I didn't know if there was like a rule,
like not like a real rule,
but like in the supporters section,
you're not wearing a red shirt.
It'd be nice to wear red,
but not everyone does.
Some people wear gray.
Some people like the gray jerseys.
You could have brought one.
How many red shirts do you own?
I only own two, believe it or not.
And this one,
I don't think I should wear anymore.
I'm swimming in this one.
Like look at the shoulder.
Oh, it's from Fat Guy Elvis.
Yeah, yeah.
The Elvis fat period.
It's really, really old.
That's right. I have different eras, just like the real Elvis does. I had to do that fairly Elvis. The Elvis fat period. It's really, really old. That's right.
I have different eras just like the real Elvis does.
I had to do that fairly recently.
I don't know, 2012 or something.
I had to go through my whole wardrobe and get rid of chubby mic stuff.
Well, I did that a long time ago and then fucking stupid doctor shit made me...
Do you want to elaborate on that?
What kind of doctor shit?
Made me blow up again and then...
What happened? They gave you steroids? no no my medication was all fucked up for for a good part
of 2016 really i i got big again and i wasn't even like doing anything wrong i was just like i would
breathe and put on weight and then they figured out what was going on and so now it's coming back
off again but i hate the yo-yoing
it's not and as and everyone just thinks that i have no fucking self or self-esteem i don't i'd
never have any of that but self-control um and you know it's it's just shitty but i think it's
just a product of the the disease that i had okay but so this so just to clarify though are you
you're not you're still cancer free right well they can never tell me I'm cancer-free.
Because you keep having cake.
I see it on Facebook.
I do, yes.
No, I say fuck cancer on the cake.
Oh, I thought it was celebrating another year of cancer-free or something.
So the cake is on the 24th of December every year
because that is the anniversary
of the first test I have
where they said you're good.
But it's not you're cancer-free
and it's not like a five-year thing
where like other cancers,
after five years,
they're like don't come back type of thing.
I'm going to be going back every year.
So it is what it is.
Okay, but wait, wait, hold on.
I got questions.
So you're still on medication for this.
Yeah. I don't have a thyroid, right? So, um, I have to take synthetic thyroid medication. And
with that, it, it's kind of, it's not an exact science as to how, what dosage you need. And so
when you have an incorrect dosage, then you tend to go low and, or put on weight. And then it just like, then it's a downward spiral from there, right?
Tell the dummies listening what a thyroid does.
Thyroid regulates your metabolism.
See, I'm the dummy I'm talking about.
So if I don't have any thyroid medication, I like, literally, I have no metabolism.
And if you don't have a metabolism, then you're like, you know, again, breathing, you'll put on weight, right?
That's why I have you bike eat to TFC. And that's why kids like generally kids, right? They can eat
whatever the fuck they want and they don't put on any weight. Cause as you're, as you grow older,
your metabolism slows down as a kid, your metabolism is going like crazy, right? Cause
you're growing, you're growing, you're going through puberty, all this stuff. Um, so for,
you know, and I think it had something to do with me getting to, you know, the 40-year-old mark.
Apparently, when you turn 40, your body does start to change regardless of how in shape or not you are.
It does because I have chest hairs, okay?
So I always had a little patch right here.
Yeah.
And it was always forever, a little patch right there.
Right.
And in the last couple of years, like, so I still have the patch.
Yeah.
But they're starting like random ones.
Really?
Yeah, elsewhere.
You know what happened to me?
Tell me. And I've never disclosed that. You know what happened to me? Tell me.
And I've never disclosed that.
My kids see it.
They joke about it.
And then Michelle will pluck it.
There's like these five hairs are not part of the patch.
And she'll pull them out.
I have chest hair here.
Yeah.
So I've had a couple of grays on my chest recently.
But I found a gray hair on my balls.
Okay, because I have chest hairs that are white, but I don a gray hair on my balls. Okay, because I have chest hairs that are white,
but I don't have any on my balls. It was brutal.
I'm like, this is even more reason
now for me to shave my nuts. Let me see your hair.
I have lots of gray.
In the last year, I really went
gray. My sideburns
and I had like a...
I grew a beard, if you remember.
How could I forget? That picture is...
It was like fucking Santa beard. I was like, what the fuck?
No, more like Unabomber beard.
I think within the last 18 months,
I definitely went more gray in the head.
And then I found this gray hair on my nuts.
I'm like, what the fuck?
On my nuts, Mike! Well, let me know. Okay.
So I told you, the chest hair... It was my
right nut, too.
In case Liz is listening
and wants to know exactly which one
or Roshan.
But that's,
yeah,
that's the weird shit
that's going on.
What happened to me is,
I'll tell you what else
happened to me.
So since I turned 40,
hairs on my eyebrows
grow long.
Yeah,
because it's white
and it grows long.
Oh,
I don't have white ones.
It's like,
it's got no pigmentation
and it doesn't grow
like the rest
and it grows like long.
Yeah,
yeah,
and squirrely.
So Michelle, bless your heart, Michelle.
I love Michelle.
She's plucking out this crazy chest hair.
Your daughter is doing this?
She loves it.
She will pull out the stray eyebrow,
the white eyebrow hair that's decided to do its own thing.
That I don't have.
I have some.
My eyebrows will grow a little bit longer
and then I'll trim them.
But not the white ones. I don't understand. You get some. My eyebrows will grow a little bit longer, and then I'll trim them. But not the white ones.
I don't understand.
You get older, and then you just get more hair.
But you notice people lose it on their head.
That's right.
But they get it everywhere else.
You know what's funny, though, is that when I first got married, it was clear that I was losing my hair.
And so Mrs. Elvis was like, just make it to the wedding.
Like, make it to the wedding with a full head of hair.
Did that. And then it was like, make it to the wedding. Like, make it to the wedding with a full head of hair. Did that.
And then it was like, make it to the pictures for the first kid.
And then it was, make it to the pictures for the third kid.
And now, like, here I am 14 years later, and I'm hanging on.
I mean, like, if you take a picture in the right angle or from behind,
you could see that there's some missing.
But just head on, I look like I have a full
head of hair. It's crazy. I don't understand.
How long have you been married to Mrs. Elvis?
I have no idea.
You really don't have an idea?
We've been together 14 years.
You know the man.
And so we're married nine, I think, eight or nine.
Because you were there, you might remember this.
I was there at your wedding, which was-
June 15th.
The anniversary was Thursday.
Yes.
So my calendar.
It was June 15th. I don't know. I was there at the distillery Thursday. Yes. So my calendar. It was June 15.
I was there at the Distillery District.
So that was number... And I sat with
Freddie P. Who won't
listen to this podcast. And Humble
and his young girlfriend. That's right. Who
left him. I mean, they're no longer
together, but she's with somebody else.
And El Duce
supplied the food, and he was
running around.
We ate his lasagna last night, actually.
You made him work at your wedding?
He did that on his own.
He did that on his own.
Who else was at that table?
Was that him?
Maybe that was it.
Oh, Rosie.
Yeah, Rosie.
Yeah, Rosie was at that table.
Somebody on Twitter, not Twitter, somebody on TorontoMike.com, Rob J.
said that you should be in the, like I mentioned that you're not a guest.
So you don't go on that guest page.
I know.
I've said that before.
Because you're a co-host.
And then he goes,
oh, maybe he should be in the builders section.
Okay.
And I thought that's a good idea.
I said, it'll just be Elvis and Rosie.
That's right.
It would be, right?
Elvis and Rosie in the builders section.
And then maybe...
Well, I mean, 1236.
Is he in the builders category?
No, I still think of him as a guest.
All right.
Because we only know each other through this podcast.
I think that would be really funny.
If you had a builder's category like the NHL,
and it's Rosie and myself, that would be great.
I'm thinking about it.
And what would you link to, though?
Like, you'd link to her maybe bio page of her radio station
that she works for? And then for me, what would you link to though like you'd link to her maybe bio page on her of her radio station that she works
for and then for me what would you link to no i would put on your blog one i would link to uh
your episodes is what i would write but that would take that would take a long time yeah i'm not
doing this i just thought it was cute right i like the builder category come on rob jay for
rosie what's up with the fucking voice of reason and the Tragically Hip? He's got a huge boner for Gord Downie.
I know, but what bothers me about that
is that every single time Tragically Hip
comes up on an open mic,
which is often,
he does that.
That's a troll.
We get it.
He seems to think that they're overrated
because the lead singer has a tumor,
cancer.
What?
But the fact is,
if you could go back in time
to the day before we learned about Gord Downie's tour.
Yeah.
It's not as if, oh, the hip were just some like.
They're on the Mount Rushmore.
Yeah, they're not the Grapes of Wrath or whatever.
Yeah, exactly.
No offense.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, so forget it.
He's a troll.
Here's a band that I find people are putting on Mount Rushmore only because they're touring right now.
Nickelback.
People are like all like into them and stuff, but they're really not.
Tears for Fears. I've had so many people
get excited because they're touring this summer with
Hall & Oates. One really good album.
Hall & Oates, I get. Tears for Fears,
I'm like, they had like three songs.
No, that's not true, but they had one
mega album. I remember this.
I'm a bit younger than you. They had three songs.
Head Over Heels,
Shout,
Mad World.
They have more.
What's the one that was filmed in the U of T library?
Why don't I know the name of this one?
I don't know.
Okay, but Songs from the Big Chair had, I think, four or five hits on it.
And then they had that Sewing the Seeds of Love later.
That was a big hit.
Remember this one?
You're right.
You're right.
I'll give you that.
I don't know.
No one on my Facebook feed is putting them on
Mount Rushmore. I don't understand.
But they're a good 80s band.
Yeah, they are. They're good, but they're not fucking Mount Rushmore.
Alright, we have to go to TFC, so we have to
move along here. I want to tell everyone
listening to please go to Patreon.com
slash Toronto Mike.
I read an article saying that these guys are really
skyrocketing. Patreon.
Well, my Patreons need to jump on that rocket because I have reached out to a bunch of patrons
just to thank them and to open the lines of communication.
So even $1 a month and I'm going to email you and we can have a direct connect if you
have any ideas or you need help with anything.
Should I do that?
No, you should give me the money directly.
So Patreon can't take their cut.
This is what Hebsey was in.
That's right. They're not doing it for free.
Hebsey the other day says,
my parents were the first patrons of his
Patreon and I said, that's a terrible idea because
even if it's, I can't remember, let's say it's 3%.
They take 3%. Still, that's 3%
going to Patreon. They should just give you the money.
They're like a credit card company then.
Yeah.
They're like PayPal.
Fair enough.
Fair enough.
But they take a small cut.
And anyways, I encourage everyone listening to go to patreon.com slash Toronto Mike.
Elvis.
That's how I would encourage them too because otherwise I don't get paid to do this.
You just cracked open an octopus once.
I know. But I'm trying to negotiate for Cheryl's stuff
because I know that Cheryl wants
payment to do this.
I had to delete some comments on the blog that were very mean.
What?
What is wrong with people?
She's saying stupid blind lady or something.
Oh, fuck off.
So I had to delete them and then
I had an email exchange about why I'm deleting this.
With who?
They think I'm protecting her.
And it's like, I don't know this lady except through her blogs, but she's harmless.
She just really enjoys commenting on the open mics every day about her sports team.
Her coyotes.
Recently adopted.
So who is it?
Who's her baseball team?
Baltimore.
Baltimore.
And is it just Orioles?
I think it's just Orioles. Because she likes the
Coyotes and one other team, right?
And she was a Cavaliers fan, yes?
I can't remember. She likes
I can't remember now.
Is it Baltimore teams or Cleveland teams?
She likes Cleveland teams. You were going to have her on the
show, right? And then she said,
how much would it cost? Or how much would you pay her?
Right. And then I got lots of emails from her
concerned I was going to make her come on the show.
And she's saying she didn't want to come on the show.
And I had to convince her that it was a joke gone wrong.
Yeah.
Anyway, so I protect her a little bit.
But would you have Cheryl on if she wanted to be on?
No, I don't think.
With knowing her the way I know her through the comments, I would never do that.
Because I just leave her be and let her comment.
Fair. And just don't mess with this. Don't put it up. Because her be and let her comment. And don't,
just don't mess with this.
Don't put it because I wouldn't have her on.
Fair.
The beer you're drinking,
courtesy of Great Lakes Beer.
Fucking great shit.
I'm almost done by the way.
Well,
there's more in the fridge.
There's the lager,
there's blonde lager in the fridge.
All right.
I may,
I may step out.
You can run up there.
I'm going to play a tune later.
You can run up.
Yeah. That. That beer, I think there's some Summerside. What's it called? Yes. This is Sunnyside Session IPA. You know what I like about Great Lakes Brewery? Not only is it good
beer, and I am a beer aficionado, as they would say. I get to travel for work to many different places. And one of
the favorite things I like to do when I go to a new place is I try and find a local pub and I'll
walk into the pub, sit at the bar and the bartender's like, what can I get you? And I'm
like, get me something local. And I just, I don't care what it is. I want to try it. And then my
second and my third and my fourth and my fifth and my sixth will all be
different. Very good.
And you like your Great Lakes beer.
Unless I'm drinking gin.
So I like Great Lakes
because it's local,
it's good beer, and
they're pretty creative with their cans. Their cans are
quite good. I like them. They're nice.
They're fun.
So you take on the TTC when you go
to this person's house. Great. So I can get
punched in the throat and they
seal my... There's good people in New Toronto
here. Yeah, the good people.
Yeah, but I'm going to go through Mimico, aren't I?
Yes, it is sketchy in Mimico.
You're going to drink that beer in
a brand new pint glass
courtesy of Brian Gerstein.
Did we find out if it's Gerstein?
It's Gerstein.
Gerstein?
Okay, cool.
Yeah, I found out.
I saw a picture of you drinking beer with him at Great Lakes Brewery.
That's right.
It all came together.
He bought me an Italian sausage.
It was very good.
I'll buy you an Italian sausage later.
Will you?
Oh, you know.
For free.
I'm not touching that one.
Literally.
Literally.
So, that pint glass is courtesy of propertyinthesix.com.
I urge, after you've donated a bunch of money to my Patreon campaign,
then go to propertyinthesix.com and reach out.
If you're looking to buy or sell, reach out to Brian and tell him Mike sent you.
Do that.
Elvis, you ready for the piano rock of the year?
What is this?
Propertyinthesix.com
Brian, you like that, do you?
Brian says
This is the greatest.
The current market favors
condo owners over detached homes. Now is the greatest. The current market favors condo owners over detached homes.
Now is the perfect time to move up by selling your condo for a max price and being able to buy a house for less than a million. 8 7 3 0 2 9 2. That's 4 1 6 8 7 3 0 2 9 2.
To find out how,
as time is running out for this rare opportunity.
Remember,
Brian Gerstein is a real estate sales representative with PSR brokerage.
Elvis,
for those listening at home has left the building.
No,
he's back.
He left to get himself a blonde lager from Great Lakes Brewery.
This is the greatest.
It was a good ad.
I heard that all the way upstairs.
Thank you.
Maybe in my next life, I'll be like Ed McMahon, like a professional pitchman.
Aren't I supposed to be Ed McMahon?
Hey, hi-oh.
Hi-oh.
Hi-oh.
Hi-oh.
Hi-oh.
Fred Norris does a better Ed Ed McMahon, than Ed McMahon.
Ed McMahon.
I liked his bloopers, blunders, and practical jokes of Dick Clark.
He would always do the mail order sweepstakes thing, right?
Yes, he did that.
That was called Price Waterhouse or something?
No, no.
Publishing Clearinghouse.
Publishing Clearinghouse, yeah, yeah.
It's fucking great.
He did a bunch of stuff.
He did, he did.
He was active.
Apparently he was loaded.
Like, absolutely loaded.
Like with money or booze?
Money.
Well, both, both probably.
I think both.
There are a lot of episodes where you see him on YouTube
and he's hammered beside Johnny.
That's right.
You know you've hit it big when you can go on TV completely wasted.
Or maybe it was just the time.
It was the time, like Mad Men or whatever.
That's right.
So, okay.
So, since your last episode, Elvis, there's been some guests you've missed.
Let's just run through it.
I actually have to say, since you were here, which was kind of shortly after that burst I had with, like, Brian Williams and Bob McKenzie and stuff.
And then I got an itch to try different things.
I felt like mixing it up a bit.
So some of these are kind of different for me.
But let's talk.
The first guy who came in after you was Howard Berger.
So that's still on my phone to listen to.
Because I really want to hear what this guy has to say.
Two and a half hours.
That's fucked.
Think about that.
Is he a bitter man or what?
Listen to find out, Elvis.
I don't want to spoil that.
I don't, you know, he was a very nice gentleman.
I'm sure he is.
Can you answer me this question?
Does he think he's going to go back to work in the mainstream media?
I don't think he has any reasonable expectations thereof.
I don't think so.
I think he's got a fairly realistic grasp on his current status.
But just today I saw a tweet from him that the Leafs were shopping JVR
before the expansion draft.
I guess that makes sense.
But the only team you can deal with now, because the rules are
you can only deal with Las Vegas before the expansion draft.
You can't trade him anywhere else.
Well, because the deadline was today.
Today at 3 o'clock, yeah.
But Berger's got some.
He says he has some inside scoop on that.
But we shall see.
They're going to train him for picks then.
I don't know.
What picks do they have right now?
Like, they have...
Well, I guess they have to go...
They have to see who's protected first.
Right, I guess.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then have, say, somebody who's unprotected,
so Vegas picks that guy up
and then sends it over to Toronto.
Right.
So it depends who's unprotected.
It's complicated.
Very complicated.
Maybe it's just that...
I think tomorrow we get to learn...
We learn tomorrow who is unprotected.
Gotcha.
James and I were playing a game.
I can't remember the website, but you can protect your leafs of choice.
They tell you who, you know, because guys like Matthews and Marner and stuff
automatically protect this.
We don't have to worry about that.
But then you sort of play with it and you wonder, like,
do you protect a guy like Komarov, for example?
Like there's a few gray areas like that.
But then you realize, okay, do you protect a guy like Matt?
Who's the overpriced fourth line checker?
Stairs?
Yeah.
I was going to say Matt Murray.
Matt Murray.
Do you protect Matt Murray?
But then you have a lot of decisions.
Well, their penguins do have a situation there.
No, they're saying goodbye.
No worries there.
They're saying goodbye
to Fleury at 100%.
And Fleury knows it.
But Crosby is his best friend.
They say that's where
the rub is.
He even said,
like, this is Murray's team now.
Fleury's pretty classy
about this.
He said,
this is Murray's team now.
Fleury's all but packed his bags.
He's ready to rock.
Good for him.
He's moving somewhere.
Okay, so Howard Berger.
And then I did a special episode with Bernard Cowan's son.
And I bet you haven't heard of Bernard Cowan.
No.
But he's one of those guys, like, this fascinating local Toronto career that nobody knows about.
So, you know, he's Rocket Robin Hood and Frosty the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, yeah.
Just very interesting stuff.
Cool.
Front page challenge.
Anyway, Bernard Cowan's son, Elliot, came on.
Cool.
Lou Skizis.
Have you ever heard of Lou Skizis?
I have.
I'm friends with him on Facebook.
He gets banned from Facebook,
let's say, like once a quarter.
Does he?
He's pretty okay.
Happy capitalism.
He's pretty right wing.
He's pretty right wing.
Oh, yeah.
He's super conservative. But to the pretty right wing. Oh yeah, he's super conservative
and... But to the point where he's not
always rational conservative.
I know he tells me, no matter what we're
talking about, because we DM and
email and stuff now, and he'll say
everything's a business. And it's sort of
cold to me, like this whole notion
that everything is a business. And I'm not...
He has some valid points there, but... Sure.
Like we're flesh and blood human beings. Like the whole notion that everything is a business is a bit dis some valid points there, but we're flesh and blood human beings.
The whole notion that everything is a business
is a bit disheartening.
Well, I mean, that's Adam Smith, right?
But it's a philosophy that it's difficult
to apply in the real life,
and in the real world, excuse me.
And yet you have a president right now,
and I'm not going to bash,
because I don't like to do that,
regardless of whether I agree or disagree.
But you've got a president who's learning right now that it's really difficult to run government like a business.
And I think that's one of the big problems that Trump is having is that he's held to a higher standard in public office.
And it's difficult to run everything like a business.
And that's not how it works.
Some will suggest he's not particularly effective at running the business regardless.
But well, I don't think I don't think you can suggest that many do.
I mean, the proof is in the pudding.
I mean, yes, he's been declared bankrupt a number of times or his businesses have gone
out of business.
But that I mean, a good batter in baseball, you know,
hits the ball three out of ten times.
I know, but he doesn't disclose any documentation to affirm your suspicion
that he is a very wealthy guy.
There was some paperwork that came out recently that says he's worth,
like, hundreds of millions of dollars or billions or whatever it is.
So, I mean, the guy clearly has business acumen.
Is that why you're wearing a Make America Great hat?
Yeah. Listen, I'm not a fan. Trust me. I mean, the guy clearly has business acumen. Is that why you're wearing a Make America Great hat?
Listen, I'm not a fan.
Trust me.
Trust me.
Politics aside, the guy's a misogynist pig.
And as a human and as the father of two lovely women,
how could you possibly agree with anyone who says the stuff about women that he does,
even if you agree with his politics?
I mean, come on.
Get your head in the game here, guys.
You know who's got his head in the game?
Stormin' Norman Rumack.
So that's another one that's on my phone.
So did you ask him about his switch
from the Leafs to the Sabres?
Of course.
And how devastating that was to Hammerhead Nation?
Of course.
I asked him, honestly, I asked him everything.
I threw everything at this guy. I asked him about the strip clubs. I threw everything. Oh, that's right. He used to sponsorhead creation. Of course. I asked him, honestly, I asked him everything. I threw everything at this guy.
I asked him about the strip clubs.
I threw everything.
Oh, that's right.
He used to sponsor strip clubs, didn't he?
Oh, we talked about the peeler bars.
We did it all.
I'm telling you.
Did he do that on the fan?
He did, didn't he?
Yeah, he did on the fan.
Of course, yes.
That's fucking great.
Absolutely.
Was he a nice guy?
Yep, very nice guy.
I feel like he's just like
salt of the earth kind of guy.
I feel like he's just a regular guy
that lucked into being on the radio after leaf games when they were good and so you would listen to him
as you fell asleep and you just fell in love with this fucking guy because he's a lunatic on the air
elvis i had and he was great because you cannot find on the internet you cannot find a hammerhead
alert like in youtube like there's no evidence this hammerhead alert is nowhere on the internet
i did searches for hours.
So I made him do the Hammerhead Alert.
All I have to do is go find a siren
or whatever and stick his Hammerhead Alert
on top. I'm going to
have a sound bite.
Stormy Norman Rumack was one of the broadcasters that
I remember
growing up was super influential
on me. Not that I'm a broadcaster
now, certainly, but he was a guy that was the man but don't be so humble you dominated the western
university airwaves that's right mid 90s chw 94.7 fm late 90s you you were the man there that's right
i think that's what i want that's what you tell me i won multiple awards i do you want a gemini
award i remember i didn't, that was you, Mike.
Apparently, you're up for the Order of Canada.
Jesus Christ.
I deserve it.
Why not?
Retro Ontario was in again. Yeah, he comes back every once in a while.
He was great.
He played a bunch of great Ontario tunes, if you will.
You got to hear this episode.
Lots of good audio.
Leanna Kay and Ed the Sock came in together.
Leanna Kay is Leanna Kersner.
That is Ed the Sock's, his creator's wife.
His creator.
Because Ed's a Sock, right?
Who's Zeus married to?
Who is Zeus's wife?
Zeus is Helena.
Is that Athena?
No.
It starts with an H, I think.
Hera?
Something. Right. Okay. Hold on. Who is that chick? I don't know. Who is that chick? No, it starts with an H, I think. Hera? Something, right, okay.
Hold on, who is that chick?
I don't know.
Who is that chick?
She's Mary, basically, right?
She is.
Right?
She would be Mary.
Yeah.
As in like the Virgin Mary.
Yeah, I hear you.
And she is a virgin, really, because she didn't give birth to a sock.
Leanna Kay?
I don't know, maybe.
Yeah, the sock is Steve Kersner,
who didn't do a lot.
What?
Spoiler alert.
This time, I didn't want to play the game.
The first time Ed came in,
it was like an acting thing.
Oh, Ed's going to move.
No, he had to take a shit.
Which you're not good at acting at all.
He didn't take a job.
Ed went up the stairs,
took a shit.
Steve came down.
We just chatted, whatever.
Steve had to move the car. That's right. And then Ed came back. I remember that. It, took a shit. Steve came down. We just chatted. Whatever. Steve had to move the car.
That's right. And then Ed came back.
I remember that.
This time I'm like, fuck it. You're Steve
Kersner, okay?
So no Ed appearance at all? No Ed
actually. Just Steve and Leanna
Kay. Mainly Leanna Kay because she hadn't been in.
When Steve, remind me,
when Steve was here as Ed,
did he have the sock in his hand?
It's in like a suitcase.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I posed. There's
photos of me with Ed. He took it out for pictures.
Yeah, he said, do you want a picture of Ed?
But when he was interviewing as Ed the sock,
was it on his hand? No, no, no.
It was in the case. But afterwards, he's like, do you want
a picture of Ed? I went, do I want a fucking picture
of Ed? Yeah, of course. Is the Pope Polish?
No one knows you. He said, no, the Pope's
not Polish. The Pope hasn't been Polish since
the 90s. I know, but it's a good expression, man.
Yeah, Ed brought
the sock the first time. That's fine. Leanna K
was great.
Do we know her outside of being
at the Sox? Are you a gamer
of any kind? No.
You won't know her. She reviews
video games and she does a lot of...
Oh, wow.
She was involved in
Gamergate stuff and...
Was she on YTV or something
doing that?
No, but she was on
Ed's Night Party
I think at least
the last season
when it was on City TV.
Did they ever have
nudity on that show?
I watched it
and I think the hook
was that they didn't
but you always hoped
and thought that they would.
Bikini clad woman. And they were but you always hoped and thought that they would. Bikini-clad woman.
And they were in hot tubs and stuff, too.
Definitely.
Well, Leanna Kay herself, I think, was a bikini-clad hot tub.
Yeah.
She was known as Red.
Anyway, she was Red.
So Richard Surratt was on.
Have you ever heard of Richard Surratt?
No.
He does like a conspiracy show on the radio.
So I read your blog, as you know.
So the listeners know I read it every time.
I don't comment as frequently as I do, but I literally read every single entry.
So I remember seeing this guy, but I don't know who he is.
He looked a little bit like Walt from...
He looked like Ed the Sock.
No.
Breaking Bad. Oh, okay.ck. No. Breaking Bad.
Oh, okay.
A little bit.
All right.
Joel Goldberg, also known as Jay Gold,
who created Electric Circus and directed all the Maestro videos.
He's going to actually...
Dude, I have a Maestro story for you.
Okay, go.
I like Maestro stories.
Wait, hold on.
Before you go, though, hold on.
This is a throwdown, a showdown.
Hell no, I can't slow down.
It's going to go.
Go ahead.
Down.
So at work, we have these two individuals called day porters.
And basically what they do is they take care of us at work.
So they will-
Like a butler?
Yeah. Wow. They clean. They make will. Like a butler? Yeah.
They clean.
They make sure we get shit when we need it.
They're like facilities.
They set up rooms when we have clients over and stuff like that.
Really awesome people.
And one of the dudes, a new guy, his name is Corey.
And so I've become friendly with this guy.
And he was on the phone when I walked by him one time in the kitchen
and then he's like dude you'll never guess uh what just happened i'm like what he's like maestro
called and i'm like okay and he's like yeah i'm going to china with maestro i'm like hold on can
we pump the fucking brakes here like are you talking about maestro fresh west is that who
we're talking about here and he's like yeah yeah yeah, yeah, Maestro. I'm like, and you're going to China?
What?
Like, why is he calling you?
He's a dancer from Maestro and has been a dancer for Chaos.
And he's like totally into the scene.
He's got these fucking groups that he dances with.
But is he one of the two main dancers from the Maestro heyday?
Act one and act two?
He knows him from forever.
Find out. I should. When are you going to see him next week?
I'm going to see him on Monday, yeah.
Dude, it's crazy. They had two names.
It was Act 1 and Act 2, and then they changed
their name to Easy Does It and Does It
Easy.
Because Maestro has two main dancers.
They're all over these Jay Goldberg
episodes. Is it on the album?
Do you think his pictures are on the album?
Let me take a look.
Go take a look at the videos.
No, it's just Maestro. But yeah, he knows Maestro
from like a hundred years. And it's funny because I'm
like, dude, I met Maestro
at Western in
1999 when he came and played on campus
because we were, you know, we were student council, whatever.
And so we got to, one of the perks
was we got to meet him.
And I'm like, dude, we could have very well have met back then if you were in the crew.
Because, of course, Maestro doesn't walk around by himself.
He had this big fucking entourage with him.
It's called a posse.
Sure.
I sat down.
We sat down and had drinks and chilled out with Maestro for like an hour before a show.
That's amazing.
I love Maestro.
Yeah, so do I. And I'm like, what the fuck? And he's just like, yeah with Maestro for like an hour before a show. That's amazing. I love Maestro. Yeah, so do I.
And I'm like, what the fuck? And he's just like,
yeah, Maestro called and I'm going to go dance with him in China.
Apparently Maestro is huge in China.
He's huge, apparently.
Apparently he is very, very
popular in China. I had no idea.
Yeah, because I'm like,
no offense to Maestro, but he could probably walk down the street
here and no one's going to know who he is,
right? Because... Just a bunch of guys our age.
Well, yeah, that's the thing. A lot of people on my team don't
even know who the fuck he is anymore.
That's true. He doesn't get radio play anymore.
Right. And there's no more much music. Apparently
he still makes music all the time,
and he obviously produces a lot, but...
I played when he was here. I played I Know Your Mom
and some of the other songs that are... These are new,
fresh jams from Maestro,
but they're not going to be
heard on the radio.
He's a fucking legend,
this guy.
Or on the television.
He's a legend.
I love the guy.
I remember those songs
coming out.
So Joel Goldberg
directed those classic videos
like Let Your Backbone Slide
and Drop the Needle.
He won a Juno Award
for doing this
and he did all that
because he met Maestro
on Electric Circus
because that's where Maestro
was discovered by Stevie B.
Right, yeah. This is the story, the origin story.
I only know one Stevie B song, though.
I know more than... Can you name two?
No, but
I would if I heard them.
But Stevie B's big in the Gino community
and I have a
brief flirtation with the Gino community
back in the day. You mean the Gino
Vanelli fan club? No, no, no.
I know. Italian guys. Like the derogatory
Italian term. The Zedrock
IROC.
IROC Z? Yeah, Zed24.
Right. Yeah. I'm familiar
with these gentlemen from Woodbridge.
Yeah.
Hugh Burrell.
Yeah, I
saw that. Sure.
You might like that.
I'm not going to listen to that.
Hugh is on the Fan 590 now.
With our good friend Greg Brady.
Exactly, exactly.
And Mark Hebbshire came over last,
actually like a few days ago.
I thought he wasn't wearing socks either,
but he was a normal person and decided to wear socks.
I don't wear socks until I go north of Lakeshore.
I'm clear about this.
If I'm south of Lakeshore, I don't wear socks.
I don't like socks either, Mike. Unless I'm cycling, because I wear running shoes
and I don't wear shoes outside. I don't understand why you need the full
body picture.
That's what I don't understand. Oh, you want to crop it?
Should I crop it? No, I think, like,
why don't you just take a selfie or something?
Or, like, take a picture of, like, chest up.
Those are the shots that you're seeing lately are the nanny shots.
Oh, right.
Your nanny must think that you're fucking crazy.
She's like, what the fuck?
But my nanny, on her first week on the gig,
so we got the nanny when Monica went back to work,
which was when Morgan turned one.
My nanny's first week on the gig,
she's a huge Bruins fan of all things,
like a massive Boston.
But bottom line is, she's a big hockey fan.
She's upstairs.
She doesn't know this, but I come out
of the basement and behind me is Bob
McKenzie. Okay. And
she's like, she has
this moment of like, Bob McKenzie just came out of the
basement. What does this guy do down there? So she knew
who he was? Yeah, 100%. And then
she's asking Mr. McKenzie
for a photo. So I, you know,
but you know, and
I'm sure she's been disappointed with, you know, she got a photo. Oh, dear. And I'm sure she's been disappointed
with, you know,
Joel Goldberg
and Hugh Burrell
because she's waiting,
like, she's like,
where the fuck
is the Bob McKenzie guys?
But she was blowing away
that Bob McKenzie
came out of my basement.
So it was like,
right away,
she's like,
who is this guy?
What would she say
if I came out
of the basement?
She'd ask us,
she'd say,
oh, is this the week
that you clothe
and feed the homeless?
Is this when you need a filler guest?
All right, this came up.
Mark Hebbshire's, this episode I did was called Mark Hebbshire Kicks Out the Jams.
Is this two or three times for him?
Or four?
It was four times.
Four times.
But this time, he sent me, ahead of time, he sent me a list of his four, his ten favorite
songs of all time.
So why didn't you ask me to do that?
Because I know Stokely did that.
Yeah, well, Stokely, yes,
Stokely did say,
can I do this?
And I said, of course you can.
You can too, of course.
I would love to do that.
Your next visit,
you will do this, okay?
So anyway, Hepsi's like,
here's my 10 favorite songs.
I source them out.
I had like half of them I had.
Half of them I had to get him
to send me,
but then I load them
in my soundboard.
And all we do is I play
like 30 seconds.
We hear it, and then I lower it in my soundboard. And all we do is I play like 30 seconds. We hear it.
And then I lower it a bit.
And he tells me and the audience why he loves that song or a story.
You know what, dude?
That's an amazing format.
Guess who's going to do it on Tuesday?
Don Cherry.
Mike Wilner.
Mike's coming back during the season?
Mike Wilner's coming back Tuesday.
Wow.
Guess who's coming in on Wednesday?
Uh,
Don Cherry,
Fred Penner.
Fred.
Really?
Yeah.
Oh,
wow.
This is not a joke.
You didn't know that.
This is not a joke.
This is real.
I'm going to joke about that.
That's amazing.
If I'm going to joke,
I'm going to go bigger than Fred.
Obama.
Barack Obama.
Barack Obama.
Well,
I mean,
with the amount of public appearances he's making these days, I wouldn't be surprised.
Yeah.
But that's, dude, that might be, well, what do you, okay, well.
Monica, that's the episode Monica, my wife, she's most excited about, she's most excited
of all the guests, including Ron McLean, Straubel.
Including me?
Especially you.
She likes me.
She's very excited about, she does like you.
She likes you better than me.
She is very excited about Fred Penner.
Then, do you know Bob Makowitz Jr.?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's coming in, I think, Friday.
Look at you.
Guess who is...
Joel Goldberg is going to drive somebody here.
He's not going on the episode.
He's going to escort somebody to be on this show.
Monica D'Ole.
That's a good guess because she almost came over.
She will come over.
It's a good guess.
Ziggy.
Really?
Ziggy.
Ziggy.
This is in the two weeks. And then, Ann Romer still swears she's coming in. She will come over. It's a good guess. Ziggy. Really? Ziggy.
This is in the two weeks.
And then Ann Romer still swears she's coming in.
Oh, fuck off.
She says she's resting her voice for June.
And she swears she's coming in.
She says she's coming in. You need that episode just to fucking end that controversy.
Well, it's coming.
Andy Frost says he's coming in.
And Jay and Dan say they're coming in.
Jay and Dan?
Yep.
They say they're coming in in September.
That's big.
That's big, dude. That's big. Is that big? Not as they're coming in in September. That's big. That's big, dude.
Is that big? Not as big as Ron McLean.
That's big. Jay and Dan, they were
on TV for a long time in the States.
But no one watched.
Were people watching?
I would assume so. But they cancelled the show.
I'm sure some watched.
I'm just going to point out also
Gord Depp from The Spoons
is coming in.
Really?
Yeah.
That's big, dude.
That's big if you remember the 80s.
Look at you.
Big time.
This Great Lakes Brewery beer is making me burp like crazy. I don't understand what's going on.
It's like I've never had beer before.
In the continuing series of Kicks Out the Jam,
so Hebsey went first, Wilner
goes second. Also committed to come
in soon to do the same thing is
Damien Cox.
What? Yeah. Damien
is coming back? He's coming back
with his 10 favorite songs
to talk about them. Really?
And while he's here. I'm shocked.
I might ask about
a certain DM that was accidentally not a DM.
Oh, no.
Of course.
Here's my question.
Do I do it before or after the 10 songs?
Oh, you got to do it after the 10 songs because you won't get the 10 songs.
He's going to leave.
You know as soon as you ask him that question, he's leaving.
I don't know.
I think he might just answer it.
Because someone just brought that up again in the media.
Like there was another article about it.
Oh, an article about it. I know 1236. Or was it tweeting? 1236 retweeted somebody who brought that up again in the media. Like there was another article about it. Oh, an article about it.
I know 1236.
Or was it tweeting?
1236 retweeted somebody who brought it up.
It was like the one-year anniversary of that tweet.
Yeah, but it was something else.
I think it was 1236.
Yeah, I think you're right.
I think I read it in the newsletter.
I was fucking...
He was clearly looking for some sort of...
But you know, it's not a smoking gun.
So we need to hear... Oh, I'm going to give Damien the benefit of the But you know, it's not a smoking gun. So we need to hear...
Oh, I'm going to give
Damien the benefit of the
day.
Sure, of course.
Just share with us if it's
not what we think it might
be.
But he has to admit it
looks suspicious.
The optics are poor.
He's looking for a dick
pick or like a titty pick
or labia or something.
I would guess a titty pick,
but I'm not going to even
guess because I don't know. Whatever floats your boat, man but I'm not going to even guess because I don't know.
Whatever floats your boat, man.
I'm not going to judge.
Oh, no, I don't judge.
His last name is Cox.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, shit.
Holy shit.
Can't talk.
What kind of pic do you want?
Just look at my last name.
Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
I should stop recording on Saturday nights.
Okay.
Okay.
Also,
also,
Sofia Yurskovich is also
going to come in with her 10 favorite songs.
So that's something to look forward to.
Yeah, play a fucking song.
Okay, I'm going to do this one.
Hold on.
That would be the greatest joke you've ever told.
That's really... Holy shit.
Timing is everything.
What?
So I bought tickets to this show again in October.
And I bought one off you.
That's the Don't Bury the Lead.
This is you and I.
How many tickets did you buy?
I bought two.
So you and I are going to see Guns N' Roses in October.
And you paid.
And I already mailed you the cash.
So this is happening. This is really happening. And you paid. And I already mailed you the cash. So this is happening.
This is really happening.
If you scam me.
So people have said to me, why would you go see them again?
And I don't understand why people would ask me that question.
I really don't.
Because it's a stupid question.
This is a version of the band that includes not only, of course, Axl Rose, but Slash.
And Duff.
Right.
So this is basically, this isn't like some kind of like Axl and a bunch of guys you've
never heard of.
So Izzy is missing. Right. So this is basically, this isn't like some kind of like Axl and a bunch of guys you've never heard of pretending they're Guns N' Roses. So Izzy is missing.
Right.
And then,
who's the drummer guy?
I can't remember.
Was it Matt something?
Was it Matt something?
Matt Sorum or something?
I can't remember.
But here's why I wanted to go to this show,
even though I went to the other show.
In addition to the fact
that it's just Guns N' Roses
and one of the,
like the very first CD I ever bought,
I remember this.
Is it this one? The first CD I ever bought. I remember this. Is it this one?
The first CD I ever bought
was three at the same time.
Okay.
Black Album by Metallica,
Use Your Illusion 1 and 2.
Previous to that.
Can I just say,
you're only two years
younger than me, right?
Two years younger?
You bought discs
later in your life
than I did.
Yeah, I didn't have
a CD player.
That would explain it.
Previous to that,
it was all tapes. That would explain it. So I had like a shit ton of tapes, obviously. Yeah, I didn't have a CD player. That would explain it. Previous to that, it was all tapes. That would explain it.
So I had like a shit ton of tapes, obviously.
However,
both of our noses are...
I have to say, that's the first time I've ever been unable
to speak because I was laughing so hard.
But, so, I mean, these guys
are an iconic band to me.
Like, just, you know,
we were just talking about grunge earlier.
This is like the complete opposite of grunge.
But before grunge, this was our fucking rock.
This is fucking great.
I'm pointing to this.
You see this.
I know.
I see it.
I bought this in 87.
Go on.
The reason why I want to go to this show, even though I went to the one at the Skydome,
is because this one is at the ACC.
And so the sound is exponentially better.
So much better.
It's going to be a fucking great show they because they put on a great show that that's the thing like guys you need to go see guns and
roses because they're not like they're not like this old shitty band they actually can play every
single fucking song and like but how's that how's his vocals great absolutely great they played like
three hours at the Dome, man.
It was insane.
They played everything and anything you wanted to hear.
They even played My Michelle.
Okay, this band, which the first album I bought from these guys was Appetite for Destruction.
Of course.
So many singles.
I used to listen to the Top Ten of Ten and Q back then.
And so many songs from that album would appear in the Top Ten of Ten on Q back then and so many songs
from that album
would appear on the
Top Ten of Ten
and they were just
fucking crazy.
That whole album.
You heard Paradise City.
You're hearing now
Mr. Brownstone
but like,
of course,
the one from,
what was the movie
with Clint Eastwood
and Jim Carrey's
in the fucking thing.
Clint Eastwood movie
on the soundtrack
is,
what the fuck
is that movie called?
Shit.
Jim Carrey.
Yeah, Jim Carrey plays like a...
Man.
Oh, the weirdo guy?
No, that was Adam Sandler.
Okay, well, yeah, okay.
So I'm...
What movie...
Has there ever been a movie
where Clint Eastwood and Jim Carrey...
I'm going to Google it.
Okay, Elvis is Googling this.
Love this show.
This is about heroin, yes?
Yeah.
And yes, it's about heroin.
Yeah, absolutely.
Which, funny enough, Axl's pretty straight.
People don't realize that.
He's not really, he was never really, at all, ever really a big party guy.
He had fun, certainly, but he was never like ridiculously.
Oh, yeah.
Dude, you want to make out?
This is from Lies,
which had that cover of Mummikin,
which is an Aerosmith track.
You love Aerosmith?
And it had... I bet you that sounds great.
I used to love her, remember?
But I had to kill her.
Pink Cadillac.
She bitched so much. No her. Pink Cadillac.
No, not Pink Cadillac.
Deadpool?
Yes.
The Deadpool?
Yes.
On the soundtrack for the Deadpool was
the first time I ever heard a Gunners track, I think.
It was in the commercial for the movie or something like that.
It was a Dirty Harry movie.
I never really was into Dirty Harry.
That's why I don't know this.
I'll tell you what was on Harry. That's why I don't know this. I'll tell you
what was on the...
Welcome to the Jungle.
Yeah, Welcome to the Jungle, which is
most people's first Guns N' Roses song.
Most people. So anyway...
These guys are fucking great, man. And then you pick up Lies.
And this is a band where everyone is alive, too.
Like, how is Slash alive?
He was hardcore, man.
Speaking of bands,
I saw Velvet Revolver
at the Amphitheater once,
and Slash was there.
They played this song.
They did a bunch of Gunners stuff.
Yeah, yeah.
Great band.
Because Velvet Revolver at the time
was the band that you had to go see
to go hear anything live from Guns N' Roses.
Yeah, and they did a lot of STP, too, of course.
That's right.
Which is fucking great.
All right, it's Father's Day.
Tomorrow is. Tomorrow's
Father's Day. You're right. Actually, tomorrow
is Father's Day. You have three kids.
They're pretty young, but the
older one especially and the second one,
they probably are pretty aware of what's going on
with Father's Day. Yeah. Seven, five, and
two are mine.
The seven-year-old will be eight in August.
Oh yeah, that's old.
It's fucking awesome, man, though.
I love this age with her.
Like, we're reading cool books.
We can have conversations, like adult-ish conversations.
Yeah. Like, it's like normal conversation.
It's great.
I fucking love it.
It only gets better, though.
I mean, the two-year-old is fun and everything, and you can, like, you know, do stupid shit
with him and stuff.
But, like, the seven-year-old is fun and everything, and you can do stupid shit with him and stuff, but the seven-year-old is great.
I just love where we're at with all of these kids.
Every age has its pros and cons or whatever, but it is nice to have a deep convo with your
kid.
Big time.
Unlike me and the three-year-old, where it's all pretty surface stuff.
Right.
You don't want to get so deep.
And the two-year-old can be a big fucking asshole.
You can really be a dick.
But the seven-year-old,
you can really have an opinion.
They can tell you
about stuff. They go into detail.
You can see them get excited about stuff.
Yeah, sure, the two-year-old
gets excited, but he's getting excited about
making a sandcastle
in the sandbox, whereas the seven-year-old is telling me about her dance
recital and like oh yeah the preparation and like how fun it is to have makeup on and blah blah blah
and whether she's nervous or not nervous like it's it's really cool do you want to play uh i picked
five songs that are kind of pretty good like father songs oh okay Is this like where you're trying to make me cry?
I don't know. If I make you cry,
it's just a bonus as far as I'm concerned.
So when it was Easter, we did
the Jesus songs. Hey, Boner.
That's from, don't tell me,
Mike Seaver would say that to
Sylvester Dubon on Growing Pains.
No, that's George Takei saying
that on Howard Stern's show.
Hey, Boner.
Because Sylvester DeBone was nicknamed Boner.
I don't think that would work today on TV either.
Boner?
Boner.
Like having a kid on a show called Boner?
Oh, well, it's all context.
If his name was DeBone, maybe.
I was called Boner for a little while.
Why?
As a young man.
That was because you always had an erection.
I still do.
Ah, good song.
Now, I know you want
Ugly Kid Joe,
but I decided against
going with Ugly Kid Joe.
You remember the popular cover?
Yeah, which was very good.
It was a good cover, right?
It was good,
because I heard it
on the radio,
on cue all the time,
but this is Harry Chapin.
But I would say this is the greatest,
maybe the best father-son song, maybe.
You think?
Well, I mean, it's all very subjective.
I didn't spend a lot of time on this.
I, well, I'll get through your five,
and then you tell me,
and then we'll see if my pick would be on there.
It's a great fucking song, Mike.
Mike's shaking his head.
He's feeling the tunes.
And no one's recording this.
Unlike the last episode I did with Hebsey,
Hebsey set up a video camera and recorded the whole thing.
I don't know where that footage is.
I haven't seen it,
but it exists.
That's popular to do now, right?
You can't just do a podcast.
You've got to film yourself
doing the podcast.
But I didn't like that I had to
add this new dimension to my thought
that, hey, I've got to care
about what I'm like.
I don't think people care.
I think people just like
watching people talk.
Maybe.
So why aren't we doing it, Elvis?
I don't know.
That would have been a great
capture of the laughter.
Maybe that's what the Patreon thing
should be about.
Okay, maybe.
By a fucking video camera.
All right, so that's Harry Chapin
capturing the canal.
Although you could probably
just use your fucking phone.
No, he used his phone actually,
but he had a tripod and everything.
Right, right, right.
It's not time to make a change Just relax, take it easy
Are you familiar with Cat Stevens?
I believe you're two for two on Cat, are you not?
Cat's in the Cradle and Cat Stevens, you're right.
That's probably why a lot of people get confused between these two songs, I bet.
Probably.
A lot of people think Cat Stevens recorded Cats in the Cradle.
Right.
But he did not.
But he's not Cat Stevens.
No, he's Yusef Islam.
That's right.
And he also refused to perform until like two years ago or something?
Right?
Yeah, he's.
But now he performs again.
Now he performs again. But not as Cat.
No, he's no longer a Cat.
But he will now perform.
I guess the royalties dried up a little bit.
So this is Father and Son.
It's a good tune.
A little slow.
You're bringing the show down a little bit.
Am I?
Sometimes you guys.
I'm getting.
I'm getting.
I'm getting.
I'm getting. I'm getting. I'm getting. I'm getting. I'm getting. I'm getting. I'm getting. I'm getting. I'm getting. I'm getting. I'm getting. I'm getting. I'm getting. I'm getting. I'm getting. I'm getting. I'm getting. I'm getting. I'm getting. I'm getting. I'm getting. I'm getting. I'm getting. I'm getting. I'm getting. I'm getting. I'm getting. I'm getting. I Am I? Sometimes you guys... I'm getting... I'm getting...
I'm getting verklempt.
Hold on.
Just light that fatty and let's enjoy it.
All right.
Let's change the tempo then, shall we?
This is a very different...
I like how you're tapping.
Too many devices, Elvis.
I don't know what I'm fucking doing.
Very different.
I like how you're tapping this.
Too many devices, Elvis. I don't know what I'm fucking doing.
She's crazy like a fool.
It's a controversial pick, by the way.
What about Daddy Cool?
I don't know if it counts.
Daddy Cool by Boney M.
Is this about a father, though?
Or is this about some guy that this chick's trying to fuck?
It's Daddy Cool.
It's a controversial choice.
I had to get five.
Controversial by who?
Is there a board that you had to run this by?
The Toronto Mike Board of Governors.
It certainly wasn't me.
I wouldn't have picked this song.
I'm going to line up the song that I'm going to pick
because I get the feeling after these first three
that mine's not going to be chosen.
Hold on.
I don't know yours.
Oh, God. pick because I get the feeling after these first three that mine's not going to be chosen. Hold on. I don't know yours. Let me try it.
Oh, God.
This is the Violent Femmes. Played at my
wedding four years ago.
I like the Violent Femmes. I saw them
in concert once, twice?
I can't remember.
Where are they now? Are they not playing anymore? You know, I don't remember. Where are they now?
Are they not playing anymore?
You know, I don't know.
But they got several tunes like this that are just...
Gone, Daddy, Gone.
Not the Norrell's Barkley version, though.
I thought it was the Norrell's Barkley version,
but I went with, of course, Violent Femme.
Yeah, I think it's a great band,
whether it's American music or
Add It Up.
That was always a favorite when we were younger.
Blister in the Sun?
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
Look at you. disappear father of mine take me back to the day
yeah when I was still
your golden boy
back before you
went away
I remember
ever clearer
I like this band
Santa Monica
was the big hit
so I feel like
you missed a big one
I put my to mistake
tell me what I missed
you wanna hear what it is?
yeah of course
this is gonna suck
sorry for everyone
on the audio
here you want me to shut down ever is? Yeah, of course. This is going to suck. Sorry for everyone on the audio. Here, you want me to
shut down Everclear? It won't be the first time.
Oh, that's
Foo Fighters? Foo Fighters, my hero.
Yeah, you know what?
I admit, it was so quick. I was like
searching keywords
in my collection. But this is, I feel
like this is
if you listen to lyrics,
he's talking about his dad.
I thought it was Wayne Gretzky.
I don't know if he actually is,
but...
I'll stop that.
Yeah, it's a great track.
I recorded Wayne Gretzky's
last game.
Maybe it was his last game in Canada.
I recorded both, but the last game in Canada was like in Ottawa, I think.
And I recorded it to VHS.
And after the game, they played My Hero over the loudspeaker,
and he did a bunch of laps, and I was choked up over it.
So you associate that song with Gretzky.
Yeah, so I think of Gretzky now.
No, I think of my dad when I hear that song.
Your dad's Wayne Gretzky?
Is that right?
No.
That explains a lot.
No.
So tell me about it. You have a lot. No. My dad is...
So tell me about it.
You have a good relationship with your dad?
I do.
I do.
You love your daddy?
I really respect my dad and what he did and what he went through.
I remember getting into an argument with him, though, say like 10 years ago.
So my father is an immigrant.
He was born during World War II.
Very, very
poor family from Italy.
Came to Canada. What part of Italy?
Sicily.
He remembers his mother
yelling at him because he was playing with
German soldiers.
And really, he
didn't know his father for like the first
five or six years of his life because his dad was
fighting in the war. And so obviously Sicily was occupied by Germany or not occupied but according to them
but they were there as allies for them um anyway long story short came to Canada built a life for
himself you know got married had a kid had two kids uh you know he's an old man now and doesn't
have to worry about money he He's been very successful in
his life. And I got into an argument with him because I'm like, no matter what I do, Pa,
there's no way that I could possibly compare to how you started and to where you are now,
right? As successful, relatively speaking, as I am now and where I am in my life and my family
and my kids and all that stuff, I came from a certain level of privilege that he did not.
And he was able to get to a point in his life.
And obviously that transferred to me where I never really had to worry about where my next meal came from.
And maybe he did at certain points in time when he was a father or my father, but it never showed.
But for all intents and purposes, you know, my father made an amazing life for himself and was able to 10x his position in life from where he started.
Whereas, you know, 10x for me would be nowhere near that same 10X for him. So I'm not perfect.
My father's not perfect,
but he is an amazing man.
And only because of him is where I am today.
I was going to say he raised a good boy in Elvis
and popular stand-up comic Jerry Seinfeld.
Yes, yes.
I love my dad. So yeah. what's his first name father's day tony happy father's
day tony of course of course he's italian he's crazy he's tony so yeah he's uh he's definitely
in his twilight but uh he's enjoying that uh now and as he should and uh yeah he's uh yeah, he's an exceptional now grandfather,
which is, it's always interesting
to see your parents transform, right?
Because you see them as grandparents
and then it's like, hey, wait a minute,
I would have loved to have had a father like that.
But it's very, very different
when you're a grandparent versus a parent
in terms of how you treat your grandkids versus kids.
I can't wait to be a grandpa.
Yeah, it'd be fun, right?
Yeah, I think about it.
Because you get to play with them, do all the fun stuff, and then just give them back.
Well, I told you.
I'm not hoping anything, but I'm so lucky that I kind of finished this phase.
Because I had James and Michelle, and then a 10-year gap, and then there's Jarvis and
Morgan, and then a 10-year gap, and then I could do it as a grandpa.
I could just keep rolling.
I thought you were going to have two more.
No.
You could.
I could, yeah.
Did you get snipped?
Is that a personal question?
No, it's not a personal question.
I mean, not really.
I have in my wallet,
I can show you after the show,
I have the referral,
the place that my doctor wants me to go to.
That's how close I am.
Okay.
I'm really close to doing it.
I just haven't done it yet.
Gotcha. I'm unsnipped. I can still produce babies. I want them to put me out when I get snipped. So's how close I am. I'm really close to doing it. I just haven't done it yet. I'm unsnipped.
I can still produce babies. I want them to put me out when I
get snipped. So you're not snipped.
Because I don't want them to...
I don't want to be there when they look at my penis.
I feel self-conscious
about people looking at my penis. Because it's so small?
Yeah, and I don't want them to look at my penis.
Well, I mean, obviously they have to look at my...
But they're like doctors or whatever. I know, but...
They're not doctors. They've seen it all. Listen, they talk about it. Of course they do. You know they do. They're have to look at my... But they're like doctors or whatever. I know, but... Even if they're not doctors, they've seen it all.
Listen, they talk about it.
Of course they do.
You know they do.
They're like, look at this guy.
Imagine you were like a famous guy.
This guy came in with a micro penis and we had to snip him today.
Like, I know that that's the topic of conversation.
He'd be like, oh, you know that guy
that does the weather on Global?
You should have seen his penis.
Yeah, you know the co-host of the Toronto Mike podcast?
That's right. But you go by Elvis. Super tiny penis. You're so incognito, they'll never put together. seen his penis. Yeah, you know the co-host of the Toronto Mike podcast? That's right.
But you go by Elvis, you're so incognito, they'll never put together.
Super tiny penis.
Oh, yeah, speaking of that, Scott Burgess, go fuck yourself.
Who's that?
That's all I want to say.
Who's that?
Tell me what we're talking about.
I love it when you tell people to fuck themselves.
There is an individual who I know very well, and he's going to laugh when he hears this,
who put two and two together.
I think I know, I remember this now.
It was on Twitter.
He sent me a DM, and he's like,
did I do something wrong? And I'm like, no, it's fine.
Oh, so he figured out Oshawa Elvis
was the other person.
The person that you don't talk about.
Yeah, that's right. He put 2 and 2 together.
Well, that was inevitable that somebody would do that.
Of course.
My team is desperate. Desperate to Put two and two together. Well, that was inevitable that somebody would do that. Yeah, well, of course. You're not that. You haven't been that careful.
My team is desperate, desperate to find this podcast.
I told them.
I told them today.
How big is your team again?
Eight people.
So these are eight people you manage.
Used to be 15 people.
And this is in Toronto?
Because you're such a globe crawler.
And in the US.
Okay.
It used to be in Brazil as well.
That's why you want to make America great again.
Yeah.
Okay.
So, okay.
So they don't, they have no clue that you are the sometime co-host of the extremely
popular Toronto Mic'd podcast.
They have no idea.
They have no concept.
And I know for a fact that some of them know about the podcast.
Really?
Yeah.
Now, you, you, I should point that out.
Okay.
So I'm your friend on Facebook.
Correct.
You never acknowledged this, this acknowledge this thing exists on Facebook.
I do not.
But I don't do a lot of things on Facebook
other than just post coffee cups or stupid shit.
There's a big fucking hint.
But I will say,
you don't say anything on this podcast
that you're not talking about
how white people are the best or anything. You know what's different now, though, I think, will say uh you don't say anything on this podcast that you know you're not talking about like how
you know white people are the best or anything well you know what you know what's different now
though i think than previous i i think i'd be a lot more comfortable now to say it than i would
have been in the past because i think in the past i was a more of an asshole than i am now
oh you've mellowed out i think so i've also like i just personally stuff isn't going on in my life that was going on back then
elaborate
please
I just
you know
like health stuff
yeah yeah yeah
this was like an outlet
for me at one point
in time
to just get out
aggression and anger
and now it's gone
you're talking about
your blog sucks
well that too
but I was also
a dick on this too
yeah I think
I would
I purposely be
contrarian
whereas now
like I feel like this episode is fine.
Yeah, I think so.
I'm surprised you didn't.
I thought you were going to chew me out
because I don't own a red shirt
because I realized my only red shirt is dirty.
Dude, both of us were
almost on the floor.
That's the first time, I think that's the first time
I couldn't speak
in 242 episodes. I didn't's the first time I couldn't speak.
242 episodes.
It's fucking great. I didn't know how to make a word because I was crying.
But I do a quiet cry where you can't hear it.
So you're listening and it just sounds like dead air.
Right.
And you're doing this very loud laughter or whatever.
But I'm like, I can always edit this, but I don't want to edit it.
This might be an episode that I would listen back because I would want to hear how that played on that.
Well, a few things went this way.
So recording that Saturday night or whatever this is, Saturday at 6.08 or whatever, that
changes things because usually you're kind of jamming it in during a lunch break or whatever.
And I don't drink in your podcast.
Oh, yeah.
That's true.
Yeah, we're drinking.
I'm like two tall boys in.
That's true.
And I have such low tolerance.
The one octopus is going to have an effect on me.
It's probably 6%, right?
6.2.
Yeah, that's heavy.
That's more than the Monica's sangria that she's been-
So I'm drinking a blonde right now, a blonde lager.
And that is, what is this?
5%.
So it's not crazy, but still.
Yeah.
So it's like a perfect storm to create kind of a goofy episode.
We should do this every Saturday night or like more Saturday nights.
I mean, absolutely.
If you take me to TFC, you can do this.
Sure.
I just want, can I tell you a quick story about my right eye?
Very, very brief.
Cause I was told by my daughter, as I told her this at Harvey's on Thursday night, she
said, it's not a great story.
So I'm going to tell you anyways.
So I, uh, whenever Hebsey came in to play his music, I went for a bike ride at lunch
and it was very windy and something blew in my right eye on my bike ride, like coming out
of Hyde Park.
It doesn't make you burp.
The octopus doesn't make you burp.
So you're coming down the hill and this thing blew my eye.
And things blow my eye all the time, to be honest.
It was one of those fucking bugs.
I wipe them out.
No, I wish.
I wipe those out and I keep going.
But this was stinging.
Like somebody's poking my eye of a pin.
Like this is really painful.
And I can't seem to rub it out.
It's tearing up. I can no longer see out of my
right eye. It hurts like hell.
I got to get home. I rode the rest of the way
with my right eye closed because it was
hurting to have even the breeze against it. Fine.
I get home. My eye's bloodshot.
I have the nanny. I lie down so the nanny can see.
Can you see something in my eye?
There's something in my eye. She's a fucking doctor?
She's great, by the way.
Does she have a name?
Do you want to give her a name?
Yeah, Nikki.
Oh, Nikki.
Is it N-I-K-K-I?
Yes.
Darling Nikki.
Is she blonde?
She's blonde, yeah.
But you know what?
I'm getting an image of mine.
She's a natural blonde
who dyes her hair black
or brown or something.
Oh, really?
So her roots are blonde
and then she's blonde
and then the next day she comes in
and she's brown anyway. Fine. She's great. So her roots are blonde and then she's blonde and then the next day she comes in and she's brown.
Anyway, fine.
She's great.
So my eye's hurting.
She's nothing in it
but it's bloodshot
and tearing
and Hep C's going to be
over in 10 minutes.
I throw on a pair of shades.
I'm going to record
with sunglasses
even though it's kind of
dark down here.
What are you, Bob McAllen?
Yeah.
I made that crack
on the podcast
because I'm wearing shades.
Little do I know
he's recording this thing
so when this footage
does surface
I look like a pretentious douchebag because I'm wearing shades like who do I know he's recording this thing. So when this footage does surface, I look like a pretentious
douchebag because I'm wearing shades.
Who am I, Howard Stern or whatever?
The lighting in the studio is pretty
intense.
That's right. Anyway,
that was my anniversary dinner night.
I was in such pain, I told Monica
before I can eat anything, I'm going to have to go
see an optometrist or something
because my eye is killing me.
It felt like needles going in there.
Long story short is I go to the optometrist and they do the test and I have a lot of semen.
I have a lot of semen.
Semen in your eye?
I have semen.
Yeah, my cornea is scratched in a lot of places, but he can't find anything in there, but it's scratched. And he gives me this prescription.
I got antibiotics, blah, blah, blah.
Seven days, it'll be fine.
I actually feel pretty good now.
Oh, so you have to put drops in.
Yeah, I put drops in my eyes or whatever.
It wasn't an anal type of application?
I wish.
I wish.
But when Hep C coughs up video footage of our episode, I'm going to share some of it.
I can't wait.
And now the people will see.
That's why I'm wearing shades.
I will make fun of you forever
if that surfaces.
It would be the greatest.
Just getting ready for Gore Depp when he comes over.
It's going to be a great episode.
Anything else going on? You want to wrap up?
Yeah, I'm good.
Do you never bring... When Mark Weisblatt It's going to be a great episode. Anything else going on? You want to wrap up? Yeah, I'm good.
Do you never bring, I don't get like a,
when Mark Weisblatt from 1236 visits,
I get a itinerary of things he wants to cover.
You don't send me anything. I go with your flow.
This is your show, man.
I go with your flow.
You know what we like to talk about.
You didn't like my dad songs.
No, your dad songs were good.
Cats in the Cradle.
They were good.
I didn't cry.
I mean, like if that was your objective, they sucked. No, I wasn't even thinking. No in the Cradle. They were good. I didn't cry. I mean, like, if that was your objective, they sucked.
No, I wasn't even thinking of making you cry.
No, it was good.
It was good.
And then I added my...
Next time I come, so for those of you who actually listen to this,
it seems as though people either don't listen to this or they do.
That's correct, by the way.
Because...
They either do or they don't.
Because I'm on it, is what I mean.
But for those of you who do care about the next time I'm on,
I'll send you the 10, what is it?
The 10 most influential songs?
Or the 10 songs that mean the most to me?
It's your 10 favorite songs.
10 favorite songs?
I like that exercise.
Because I can get deep about music.
Music is a big part of my life.
Your next visit will go through your 10 favorite songs.
I would love to do that.
I would love to do that. I would love to do that.
Hit Me Baby One More Time will definitely be on that top 10.
Yeah, but the Britney is fantastic, except I like Toxic.
I think it would be Wannabe, though, if I was to pick a sugary pop song.
Because I remember the first time I ever saw that video.
It was a Sunday morning, and it was the World Music Video Show on MuchMusic.
Remember that? It was the black guy
that would do... Michael Williams? No, he's long gone
by then. He was long gone by wannabe.
So this would have been 1995. Master T?
Would have been 1995. Master T?
Could have been Master T. They only had two black guys.
Michael Williams or Master T.
You're right. It was probably Master T.
You know who's going to come on? Kim Clark Champness.
Oh, really? Can we get Master T on the the show i tried but like his handler or somebody said he
was was i don't know i don't think it was working out but i don't know why i can't i that's too bad
i gotta get joel goldberg knows these cats yeah yeah yeah he's a big fan right i'm gonna get him
to make that happen okay so you saw wannabe but yeah i remember seeing one it was a sunday morning
and it was like here's the first time we've ever played this song.
It's a, you know, a band from a group from England of like these five women.
And here it is.
They were already a sensation there.
Yeah.
So they were huge there.
So I remember watching the video for the first time.
I'm like, I love this song.
I love this group.
It's a good video.
And then obviously they.
Who was your favorite?
But remember, they lied about the video because they said the video was taken in one shot.
Oh, yeah.
But then they clearly had edited it like two or three times.
Right.
Who was your favorite Spice Girl?
Ginger.
I like Sporty Spice.
Oh, yeah.
She was hot too.
I mean, all of them were hot at different points in time for different reasons, but
Ginger was mine.
Did you like Ginger better at that point
or the Ginger that lost all the weight
and became very lean? And then she sang
It's Raining Men. That was a good video, too.
I love that.
I love it when it rains, Ben. I was going to say, that's your
favorite song. You and Damien Codd.
He's never coming on
this show. He's coming on. He won't listen probably. I'm surprised that he's coming coming on this show he's coming on he won't listen i'm surprised that he's coming back
on i'm like pleasantly surprised i'm surprised i'm that's fucking i can't even disclose afterwards
i'll explain why i'm surprised but i am very surprised and ask him to come back or did he
know you i dm'd him and and explained this new series i'm doing and asked him if he wanted in
and he said i want to do that look at you and then him if he wanted in. And he said, I want to do that.
Look at you.
And then he wrote me back the next day and said, I'm down to 60 songs.
So he's pruning his list.
Oh, wow.
He's taking this seriously.
Yeah.
I think he's a hard rock guy.
Like from what I know, I think he's a hard rock guy.
So lots of Iron Maiden maybe.
I love Iron Maiden.
Run to the hills.
Name a second song, Iron Maiden. That's the one I always come Maiden. Run to the hills. Name a second song for Iron Maiden.
That's the one I always come up with.
It was on my running mix in 2007.
Yeah, yeah, that's exactly right.
This was fun, man.
I'm running a marathon again, dude.
In which city?
Now that I have a clean bill of health again.
Which city?
I'm going to run it in Hartford, Connecticut in October.
And I'm going to run in a Hartford Whalers t-shirt.
For Ron Francis.
I am.
Who's the other guy that had the two?
Brendan Shanahan was there too.
Yeah, true.
But the two long term, it was Ron Francis and another guy who are the long time Hartford Whalers stars.
Gino Retta?
No.
Gino Ogic is what I meant.
Not Gino Retta.
Gino Vanelli?
Yeah, I know.
I played Gino Vanelli for him when he was over here.
He's been here, you know.
I know, I know.
But they spell their names differently.
Gino is G-I-N-O, and Gino Retta is G-E-N-O, yes?
No.
G-I-N-O for both, I think.
Are you sure?
You're thinking of Melkin.
His nickname is G-E-N-O.
And now I'm not thinking of Melkin.
I think so.
Francis and who?
Come on, before I go, what's the guy's name?
Pat Verbeek. No. Bigger than the guy's name? Pat Verbeek.
No.
Bigger than that.
Bigger than Pat Verbeek?
Yeah, well, I'm not even going to close this out.
Okay, hold on.
Hold on.
Don't close it out.
Don't close it out.
The two legendary longtime...
One was Ron Francis.
Definitely Ron Francis.
Yes.
And then he went to play in Carolina.
Pittsburgh first, right?
Was it Pittsburgh and then Carolina? Yeah, he went... I think Ron Francis wins two cups in Pittsburgh before he goes to Carolina. Pittsburgh first, right? Was it Pittsburgh and then Carolina? I think Ron Francis
wins two cups in Pittsburgh before he goes to Carolina.
Yep.
Yes, sir. He was a big member of that
Miriam U team.
So, we're pulling up
the Hartford Whalers here.
Sorry, everybody.
They've got lowest in the lower
to keep them occupied.
Notable players, according to Wikipediaikipedia paul coffee nope dave keon nope gordy howe nope ron francis brendan chan ah this is who you're
talking about chris pronger no what no it's not him really yeah he wasn't there long enough
pat for beat kevin denine kevin denine he was't there long enough. Pat Verbeek, Kevin Dineen? Kevin Dineen.
He was only there for 96-97.
No.
Oh, he was captain 96-97.
He was there a long time.
Retired numbers, only three.
Can't name them.
Rick Lee, defenseman, 72-81.
Gordie Howe, 77-80.
Doesn't count.
John McKenzie, 77-79.
Fake news.
Nonsense.
And that... Loser. Brings us to the end. Fake news. Nonsense. And that...
Loser.
Brings us to the end
of our 240 second show.
Glenn Wesley.
Glenn Wesley.
Future Leaf, right?
Glenn Wesley?
Yep.
You can follow me on Twitter
at Toronto Mike.
Elvis is at Oshawa Elvis
unless you can guess
his secret identity.
Shut up.
I'm not going to say it.
Our friends at Great Lakes Brewery
are at Great Lakes Beer
and propertyinthesix.com
You're going to enjoy that
pint glass, right? They drafted
Bobby Holik in 1989, 10th overall.
Yeah, great data. And I will. That pint glass,
I have one already. You have one already?
It's great. Yeah.
Maybe I should take that one back. You could.
But yeah, of course. Propertyinthesix.com is Brian I should take that one back. Yeah, you could. You could. But yeah, of course.
Propertyinthe6.com is Brian Gerstein.
Or Stein.
At Brian Gerstein.
See you all next week when Wilner will kick out the jams.
Here, I've got a sound for that.
Hold on.
You have like four of them next week, right?
That was a horrible mix, Mike.