Toronto Mike'd: The Official Toronto Mike Podcast - Festivus Ep: Toronto Mike'd #413
Episode Date: December 23, 2018Mike celebrates Festivus with Elvis and they discuss a cornucopia of topics....
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He's not a critic, he's a guy that rides his bike and podcasts.
He's a bike riding podcaster.
Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son.
I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man.
As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.
What happened to the doll?
It was destroyed.
But out of that, a new holiday was born a
Festivus for the rest of us I'm in Toronto where you wanna get the city love I'm from Toronto where you wanna get the city love
I'm a Toronto Mike, wanna get the city love
My city love me back, for my city love
Welcome to episode 413 of Toronto Mike'd
A weekly podcast about anything and everything
Proudly brought to you by Great Lakes Brewery
Propertyinthesix.com, right on cue, nice.
Paytm Canada,
Palma Pasta,
oh, we got to talk about that.
Fast Time Watch and Jewelry Repair
and Census Design and Build.
I'm Mike from torontomike.com
and joining me for this special
Festivus episode
is my pal, Elvis.
Fuck you, Mike.
Happy Festivus.
Right out of the gates.
Good to see you.
Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.
I love it.
This is the best day of the year almost.
But it's the most honest day of the holiday season.
And I'm so happy to celebrate it with you, my friend.
We have a lot to cover.
How many, is one of your grievances that many people are asking
you if you're Santa Claus?
Yes, it's really fucking annoying.
I'm the only person who has a fucking big beard.
Well, you and some
Unabomber-type terrorists.
It is groomed, my friend. You know how much
product is in here right now? I can't tell the difference.
I can't tell the difference.
It would be out. It's quaffed.
Remember, you're talking to a guy who is jealous of your ability to grow that because mine doesn't look that.
You know what else is annoying is when people ask me if I dye my mustache.
You'll be able to see that in the photo.
Do you dye your mustache?
Look at me, Mike.
Does it look like I am the type of person who's going to care what people think?
Well, you just said you put a lot of product in your beard.
Well, yeah, because I don't want to look like a Unabomber, but that's about the extent of it.
But we call that a metarosexual?
Do we still use that term?
Because I grew my beard?
No, I think that's just being a normal human being.
Yeah, no one's ever accused you of being a normal human being.
Correct.
Right off the bat, right away.
And now, it's time
for Your Blog
Sucks. Yeah! That's old
school. Big time, and that's because
Your Blog Sucks, yes.
Okay, not to be confused with
Robbie J,
aka Rob Johnston. This is a different
guy. His name's Rob J,
and he became known to us
because he was the
fanatic of Your Blog Sucks.
Most people listening don't know what we're
talking about. Tell people what Your Blog
Sucks was.
You came to me with an idea for a
podcast for the two of us to
get
together. I think we probably wanted to do it
on a weekly basis at some point in time and
just talk about... I don't even remember what the subject matter was. Let me pick it up, Elvis. I think we probably wanted to do it on a weekly basis at some point in time and just talk about... I don't
even remember what the subject matter was.
Let me pick it up, Elvis. I never forget.
I'm like an elephant.
The premise was we each brought...
It's kind of timely. We each brought
grievances. Oh, right.
Each of us had things. You know what sucks?
You would say, you know what sucks, Mike? And I go, what sucks, Elvis?
That's right, yes. And you would say, people calling
me Santa Claus at this time of year.
So contrived.
And then he would do the whole thing out.
It was less organic
because we brought the topics
and then, yeah.
Was that when we were trying
to be on the radio?
Oh, I know.
Hey, hey now.
We're not talking about that.
We're not talking about that.
But as you know,
have I ever applied?
Do you know,
to the best of your knowledge,
have I ever in my life
applied for a radio job?
Funny enough, in my day job at one point in time,
I knew exactly who you applied to
because I was submitting the fucking applications.
Oh, Lieve Fumke, who's a great fan of your work.
Lieve Fumke.
I don't know who that is.
That's her handle.
Maybe you didn't need that. Oh, didn't meet her at TMLX2.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I met two women.
Yes, I think I know exactly.
It was a blonde woman.
Moose Grumpy, who I just.
Yes, Moose Grumpy was the other woman.
They kind of hung out together?
Possibly we grouped them.
All the woman fans go to one team.
All two of them.
Both of them.
Yeah.
But no, Stephanie Wilkinson.
There's at least three off the top of my head.
Right.
And JJ,
who won't make the trek
from Scarborough,
but she's a great supporter.
But okay,
it's sad when you know
the names of all
your woman listeners.
Maybe all your listeners.
Come on, diversify.
Okay.
So my friend Elvis,
where am I going with this?
There's so many places.
I started there.
Lieve Femke asked,
but I don't want to forget the Rob Jay thing, so
tell me to pick up that Lieve Thumka thing in a minute.
So, Rob Jay.
There are several fine young men
who I'm sure are going to go far.
Ladies and gentlemen, the Ramones.
Ah, these minstrels will
soothe my jangled nerves.
I'd just like to say this gig sucks.
Hey, up yours, Springfield.
One, two, three, four.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday, Bernstein.
Happy birthday to you.
Go to hell, you old bastard.
Hey, I think they liked us.
Have the Rolling Stones killed?
Sir, those aren't...
Do as I say.
All right, Rob J.,
longtime fan of Your Blog Sucks,
which means he's a big Elvis fan.
It's his birthday today on Festivus.
Oh, I was wondering.
I thought that was for Jesus.
No, no, no.
His birthday's in two days.
This is Festivus, and it's Rob J. Day,
and I just want to say hi to Rob J.
because Rob J. was really active,
and then he was kind of on the Marty York train,
and I think he was doubling down on his support of Marty York,
and then some people may have been mean to him for that,
and I think Rob J. decided to shut it down for a while.
He disappeared for a long time. But he came back.
Like the prodigal son.
He's our prodigal son. He's back.
Rob J is your prodigal son.
Well, congratulations, Rob J.
Happy birthday, my friend. Happy birthday,
Rob J. And your blog sucks needs
like a comeback. I appreciate him
because he enjoyed the blog
but also in the true spirit of the
blog, wasn't afraid to tell me I sucked.
So I appreciate that about Rob.
Thank you, Rob.
Which is the whole idea of that show.
Exactly.
It's called Your Blog Sucks
because you once put on an open mic or something.
That your blog sucks.
Your blog sucks.
It does.
I know.
It's no morning espresso.
If I have espresso.
That's right.
My morning espresso.
Which was a great blog.
That's another grievance.
People who say Espresso.
But that's what it was called.
Espresso.
Wasn't that the joke?
Yes, it was.
Okay, see, I'm in on the joke.
Yes.
But it's not, there's no X, people.
No.
There's no X.
But people can't say et cetera either.
Like, there's a lot of people who say et cetera.
Right.
And it's et cetera.
I know someone who says acrossed instead of across.
They put the T at the end
and I don't know where that comes from.
And sometimes people,
instead of ask,
they say ax.
Ax.
Right.
Right.
It's weird.
Yeah.
I can understand if it's a cultural affect
that you're putting on or something,
but in the business world
or just normal interactions with human beings,
it doesn't seem like an appropriate use of the word.
And we're going to get back to Livy Fumka.
I will never forget her.
She's wonderful.
She was underwhelmed, if that's a word.
I know it's not because I looked it up.
That's one of the skills that I learned in my school.
I was overwhelmed and I'm sure of that one.
Because I learned it back in high school when I was young.
All right, we were at Sloan together at the Phoenix Concert Theater.
So, fun fact.
Two fun facts.
One, I think I told you and some other woman that you picked up that night at the concert.
Hey, my wife might be listening.
I didn't pick up any woman that night.
You did.
You were trying very hard.
You're trying very hard.
I told her that I was working in radio and was at a concert in London that Sloan put on in celebration of their new album.
And I got the album wrong.
I felt really stupid.
The album they were promoting at the time was the two disc live from the Palais Royale album, which probably would have been 97, 98, something like that.
So I was there for that. And then the other fun fact is that at that same radio station when I was working for two seasons, I did the pregame show for the Western Mustang football games.
And the theme song I used as the intro was Money City Maniacs.
So every Saturday morning when you would tune in at, what time
would it have been on? At noon, probably. You would have
heard that air siren and then
kick into Money City Maniacs and then my horrible
job
of trying to introduce... Oh, so you did want
a job in radio. You wanted to be in radio.
I did, yes. I did.
Not now, but I did. But you did.
I absolutely did. I had a job
in radio.
This is the first... They paid me with real money, man.
It was very strange.
I'm not sure how.
Because it was horrible.
I don't know how they had real money.
They barely did.
This is the first Sloan song I ever heard.
It's a good one.
I heard it on 102.1, played it one night.
And I'm like, what the fuck was that?
That was great.
And of course, this is a Chris Murphy song.
You know, my pal Chris, who's been over here.
I have to mention that every time.
Do you think every time that you
have a conversation with a woman, you're trying to
pick them up? Is that what I'm hearing?
Yes.
I also talked to her boyfriend.
Which made it even weirder.
But you didn't find her fun?
Like quirky and fun?
No, I told you, I don't like talking to strangers.
Oh, that's right.
I'm not.
I'm not.
Because, okay.
It's funny because I would classify you as more of an introvert than myself.
Right, right, right.
On the surface.
Right.
But in a setting like that, I have no interest in talking to anyone or engaging with any
other human being.
But didn't she start it?
Or I can't remember.
No, you started it.
Oh, no.
My backpack.
She may have started it. But, oh, yeah. You're back. You were one of those people who were in a crowd she start it? Or I can't remember. No, you started it. Oh, no, my backpack. She may have started it,
but, oh, yeah, you were one of those people
who were in a crowd with a backpack.
I remember it was a rainy, like...
It was a horrible night.
Very wet night.
It was.
You know.
And, yeah, I had a backpack.
Okay, so Sloan had two sets.
And there was, like, an intermission
between the sets.
They did.
And during the intermission,
just us standing there.
We were like sardines in there,
standing there.
And I finally decided, oh, I better not wear my backpack.
And then struck up a conversation with this quirky young woman who said she met Jay Ferguson in a grocery store parking lot.
Correct.
And then I had to tell her that Chris Murphy's been to my house.
Like, that's what you say.
You said that Chris Murphy's been in your basement.
Right.
Which was also very creepy.
Right.
But also factual.
Of course she was a very attractive young woman as well. I don't even, I'm so unavailable, I don't even know that. Right. And of course she was a very attractive young woman as well.
I don't even, I'm so unavailable, I don't even know who that is.
Right, sure.
That's a coincidence.
But she was quirky and fun, and I don't remember her name anymore,
but I definitely was not trying to pick her up for the record.
Yeah, right.
But we need to get back to, speaking of that,
we need to get back to Lee Vey Thumka's question.
It was apparently on a previous episode, maybe 400.
I alluded to you pimped me out to the porn industry.
Oh, right.
And she said,
we've never told that story.
Is that possible?
We've never told that story.
Is that something we really want to do on festivals?
Well, I don't want to.
Okay.
Well, it's just,
if I leave it like that,
people think I'm like an actor.
I'm pretty,
no,
I'm pretty sure that's you projecting, Mike.
Not entirely sure
that people are going to think you're an actor.
I'm going to show you right now. I could be an actor
in one of those reality
series. I don't know.
Anyway, you did, so back in, I'm going to
tell you exactly when it was, 07.
No, it wasn't 07. I took that job
at 06, probably.
It was 06, for sure. So we've known each other for 12 years seven. No, it wasn't. Oh, seven. I took that job. Oh, six. Probably. Oh,
seven.
It was oh,
six for sure.
So we've known each other for 12 years.
So yeah,
12 years ago,
we became friends because I had,
it was a weird situation,
but I was full time employed,
but I had to fill in a gap.
It was like a 35 week gap where I wasn't being paid.
This is a lot of backstory you don't need,
except I needed a gig for 40,
35 weeks.
I went,
ended up going back to that place.
You did. Yeah, you did. Uh, in fact i got a christmas card from the owner of that place
yesterday uh great place anyway the place i placed you at no oh the other place i i left for 35 weeks
and you placed me somewhere uh no are you kidding me and that story is pretty fantastic we don't
have to name names or anything so i was a recruiter in the IT industry, and an account manager came into work one day and said,
guys, I have a very special type of search that needs to be conducted,
and with that requires someone who's willing to have uncomfortable conversations.
And so the screening was, first of all,
they were looking for somebody in web development,
and we needed to make sure that this person was okay working in, quote unquote, the pornographic industry.
You have to be comfortable looking at erect penises.
So the screening that we came up with was, so, you know, being very honest of who the employer was.
And then saying, are you comfortable looking at pornography or having that in the workplace?
And the answer had to be yes.
comfortable looking at pornography or having that in the workplace? And the answer had to be yes.
And then they wanted me to dive a little bit deeper into what that actually meant, because invariably it's a very male-dominated industry, web development. And of course, when you say,
hey, there's going to be porn around in the office, 99% of the guys are going to be like,
wicked. And then, so the screening questions were, there is going to be heterosexual pornography.
Are you okay with that? Yes. There's going to be homosexual pornography, meaning women on women. Are you okay with that? And nine times out of 10, the answer was also yes. And the panting and heavy breathing on the other end usually got a little bit heavier and deeper.
of course, the penultimate question was, or the ultimate question was, and there's also going to be male-on-male pornography that you're going to have to witness, of course, in image form and
video form, not live. And I would have to say 50% of the people at that point in time hung up.
Is that right?
Yeah, they absolutely hung up. There was other people who-
I'm surprised by that.
Hymned and hawed. And then, of course, you got down to not only people who are qualified,
but could work in that
environment and and Mike was
surprisingly the person who was last
man standing what have they only I think
I placed two people there and yeah there
wasn't really any pornography I remember
the day the other guy you place there I
remember the day they walked him out
yeah and it was a surprise to me because
he was doing a whole whack of
no pun intended.
I don't know how this back-end work.
Take that as you will.
The thing is that you told me that there wasn't
really a lot of pornography in the sense that
you're coding. And so it's all
ones and zeros. Yeah, there's images. You are putting
images in there and you need to look at your finished product
to make sure you did it right. So you're glancing
at stills of pornography all the time right but it was
very clinical man i never exactly i don't i'm not a big porno guy anyways i don't like the fact
these are paid actors and actresses and they're performing like it's not my bag but and you said
that for the most part other than the playboy or hustler that was on the like table um there
wasn't really any of that.
So it was funny
because you and I struck up a friendship over this
because it's such a weird situation.
I didn't know how much you want to get into this.
The owner is a guy.
We won't name the owner,
but he's a famous rich guy.
I want to call him.
Very famous rich guy
who's in an industry
that would be very contrary
to him building a porn site.
So we struck up a friendship
over this really weird situation.
Because he hired somebody
who was like a kind of a male,
I want to call him like a male model.
Who had no business experience, right?
Who had maybe possibly fallen
on some tough times, maybe.
And he was given this position
as like this high-ranking position.
I reported to this guy
and the wiring was broken in his brain.
And I had to like, I endured this for like several hours every day and he just simply was like damaged i want to say
i don't want no cast no judgments but he he was broken i enjoyed it because you made a lot of
money off of that gig i think because there's a premium i made a lot of money off of that gig and
and so yeah uh it was a best. I had that 35 weeks to fill
and did the job, man.
I took the subway down.
I watched them build the ROM.
I can tell you without a doubt
that in no conversation
we had during that time
did you indicate
that you wanted to leave
to go into radio.
No.
I said,
can't you get me a job
on the radio?
No.
So that's our venture
into the porn industry.
However,
hyperbolic that may have sounded.
Yeah, so it was web dev stuff and some digital marketing stuff and I was not acting,
but yeah,
you,
you set me up.
It was not acting.
No one thought you were acting.
No.
Okay.
Leave a phone.
Can you leave a comment on the entry for this episode?
Did you think I was,
uh,
acting and that maybe you were the director?
I thought I was acting and you were directing me and you got me in or whatever.
Yeah.
To like,
for like a three way or something. I don't know. You you got me in or whatever. Yeah. For like a three-way or something?
I don't know.
I'll be.
You know.
I don't know.
Whatever.
I'm in.
I want to break into like an Andy Samberg Lonely Island song, but I won't.
I won't.
I won't.
Okay.
Lots to cover in this episode, so we got to keep rocking.
Oh, have we started?
The Sloan song.
So we went to Sloan.
We had a great time.
I enjoyed seeing you there.
Yes. It was a good time.
Nice time.
And as being in that room,
we both had the same kind of flashback.
Yeah.
I know I got a couple years on you,
but in the mid-90s,
I spent a lot of time in that exact room.
Yep.
The Phoenix was the place to be on the weekend
and during the week as well.
They had Monday nights there, wasn't it?
Strange Paradise with Andy Frost. And we talked about that in the Andy Frost episode. They had Monday nights there, was it? Strange Paradise with Andy Frost.
And we talked about that in the Andy Frost episode.
But I would be there.
They'd open it up with the Beatles,
Day in the Life.
They'd play that with the Dry Ice and the Go-Go Dancers.
And then,
bam,
it was all like the stuff like Rage Against the Machine and Beastie Boys and Nirvana.
It was great.
Hobo Humping Slowbo Babes.
You remember this sucker?
Still the same.
I'm still listening
to the same music, Mike.
We're no Dave Hodge.
We haven't...
I have to ask you that.
We're going to go through all the episodes and you can ask me anything.
I don't listen and I read your blog,
but did he talk about the 100 best songs
of 2018?
Correctamundo.
Listed as 100 favorite new of new songs of 2018.
I don't think I can name
five maybe.
I can, okay.
And none of them I would say
would be the best.
The sad thing,
so he's going down his list
and I'm so out of touch
that like he named,
so one was by Sloan.
How many does,
do you play?
11.
We played 11.
The top 11 we played.
Oh my goodness.
So we named 100
and I was listening.
So the vast majority, some of
these acts I know, they're known
entities or whatever. And
Sloan was one and Colin James was one.
Oh God. So there were names I actually
had been in my
basement. But I have to admit
at least half of these band names and artists
I had never heard of. You know what? Good for him.
I know. It's amazing he could do that.
What's his favorite radio station? Is it
Indie? Oh, I'm sure he doesn't listen to radio.
I'm almost certain. Very few of
these songs would actually be on the radio.
But he did have, surprisingly enough, he had
Lady Gaga
and what's your boyfriend's name
from
Brady.
What's his name? Who's the actor?
Oh, the song. What's his name? My favorite the actor in that? Oh, the song.
What's his name? My favorite song.
But he's... Oh, shit.
Shit.
Hold on. Let me get my phone.
Oh, you started drinking. I was going to say, I haven't even started drinking yet.
Harry Styles!
No, it's not Harry Styles.
Harry Styles is my boyfriend.
Bradley Cooper. Oh, Bradley Cooper.
Oh, yeah, because he sings in A Star is Born, right?
I forgot.
And I didn't Google that.
I haven't seen that name.
Okay, so he had a song from them on his list.
Bradley Cooper?
Oh, yeah.
Harry Styles more, though.
See, I don't really know too much about what Harry Styles looks like, but Bradley Cooper
is a handsome man.
He is a very handsome man.
And he can act, man.
Holy shit.
And he would be put on his Chris Christopherson voice or whatever he was doing.
Apparently, they say that he has directed himself
to an Oscar this year, finally,
because he's been nominated two or three times.
He's not going to win an Oscar.
I think she will win, but I don't think he's going to win.
But I think it'll go to...
I have to see if Beale Street could talk.
I think that's the one.
And then I want to see the green card.
I want to see...
I'm going to go see The Mule over the holidays, for sure. I do that's the one. And then I want to see The Green Card. I'm going to go see
The Mule over the holidays for sure.
I do want to see that.
Is that the Clint Eastwood one?
Clint Eastwood and Bradley Avery.
Okay. Well, yeah.
Is it going to be as good as Gran Torino?
Get off my lawn.
That was a good movie too.
He said that he was going to stop acting like a hundred years ago
and continue to act.
Actually, I think maybe that was his last acting.
Is that correct?
Could that be his last acting?
It was 10 years ago.
Gran Torino?
No, I think he's been in another movie or something since then.
Oh, but he's in this one.
I think Gran Torino is when he said this was going to be his last one.
But clearly, the allure was too much.
All right.
We need to pour one out for a fallen comrade.
So here, let's do that.
Would you please open the winter ale?
There should be a bottle opener there.
Oh, glasses.
Oh my God.
There's no glasses.
I said that to you even.
Hey, babe.
Hold on.
Talk to the people.
Talk to the people.
All right.
So, geez, this is the part of being on the radio that I've never been good at,
which was filling time.
I always
needed something to do. So every year with my family, we do a feats of strength for Festivus
and we draw out a bracket and the whole nine yards and sort of say, okay, here's first round,
so-and-so against so-and-so and then so-and-so against so-and-so. And, you know, it makes for a fun Facebook or Instagram story to pretend, of course, you know, giving it away here,
that the family actually does partake in a feats of strength and ends up with a champion at the
end of it. So my son, who's four, was last year's champion. And so he's going for a repeat.
There's only one other person who's actually repeated, and that is my oldest daughter.
She was a two-time champion, three-time overall.
I've only ever won it once, of course, so it's a little bit disappointing.
So that's what I'm doing after this, is I'm actually going to go participate in Feats of Strength with my family.
The fix is in and revealed here. Real talk here. That's right. But we don't know. I mean, who knows who's going to go participate in Feats of Strength with my family. The fix is in and revealed here.
Real talk here.
That's right.
But we don't know.
I mean, who knows who's going to win this year?
Can Charlie repeat?
Will it be a new winner?
My parents are in this for the first time,
so can two 80-year-old people put up with... Oh, make your mom go to the finals against Charlie.
No, that doesn't sound like a good idea.
Okay.
Now, what Elvis is doing is he's...
They finally got the glasses.
In fact, those are the anniversary glasses
from Great Lakes Brewery.
So Great Lakes makes a great winter ale.
I enjoyed a bottle with Ed Conroy,
Mr. Retro Ontario, last week.
And here we are.
Thank you.
He's poured me a glass.
Great Lakes Brewery is a fiercely independent craft brewery
located here in Etobicoke.
And Elvis, as you know, 99.9% of all Great Lakes beer
remains here in Ontario.
So cheers to you.
Well, hi.
That word you said, pretend I said it.
Oh, yeah, that's good stuff.
I love the winter ale.
Me too.
Me too.
Do you know that, what is it I love the winter ale. Me too.
Do you know that, what is it, second day of winter today?
Yes.
Third day?
Second day.
Second day.
I don't know.
Maybe second. I know it was 523.
I set an alarm on my phone because my kids thought that that was cool.
Oh, so I said we were going to, so this is because a friend of the show, since you were last on, he made his third appearance,
but a friend of the show, Damien Cox,
I tweeted this earlier.
It was nowhere in the public domain,
so I figured I better share this news,
which unfortunately, we'll get to this in a minute,
but some people are celebrating the news.
I don't think it's celebration worthy.
I just wanted to tip the glass for Damien.
He's no longer on Sportsnet.
That's too bad.
I know.
I mean, people celebrating, that's a little ridiculous.
You may or may not like a personality on the radio or TV,
but you shouldn't celebrate anyone not being at work.
I mean, he has a family.
He has mouths to feed and bills to pay,
and it certainly becomes harder when there's only one income right yeah
it's yeah even if even if you are happen to be glad he's not on your station or whatever you can
you know keep that to you and your buddies you don't have to tweet it out there and i got so
many people like what is it called sub tweeting like i tweeted he's no longer at sports net
and all these people like early christmas present or christmas miracle like a lot of that but then
that i fine i just ignored him do you block those people who do horror assholes?
How many people do you have blocked in total?
Good question. It's probably about
10 or less in total, to be honest.
You've got to cross a line with me.
That doesn't cross a line. That's just a guy being a dink.
These are not people I follow anyway, so I only see them
when they actually subtweet me and then it comes into my
mentions or whatever.
One guy tweeted at Damien,
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
And I thought that was so gross.
Is that Bob McCown? No.
So I tweeted at him, like, this is
so uncool. He is a polarizing
guy. There's a few guys like that. Jim, Wilner,
Simmons. There's guys like that where when
they do lose their job, people are going to be happy.
But this whole public celebration of a guy,
a family guy, a decent human
being who loses his job, it's kind of gross.
It is.
Has he reached out to you?
I reached out to him a week ago.
And did he respond yet or no?
Yeah, he says that when he's ready to come on and talk about it, he says he wants to do it here.
He'll land on his feet.
I'll see him in 2019.
He always does. Look, I'm not in the public. No, I didn't lose a public job,
but I was in a similar position like six months ago,
and I totally empathize.
It sucks, even though I think it turned out
to be a wonderful thing that happened to me,
but at the time, it still sucks
because you don't really control your destiny and everything.
I just feel for people who lose their gigs.
I don't even have that whole,
oh, it's so close to Christmas.
I think it sucks to lose your job any time of the year.
For sure.
There's no good time to be told
your services are no longer required.
Right, because no matter how it's told,
it is taken as a form of judgment
of your performance.
Like you're almost being told
we're better off without you,
which hurts you personally.
And you know what? It may very well be the case that that is true.
Not in this particular situation, but in any situation.
But no one ever wants to hear that, right?
In the media, more times than not, it's, you know, what's new is old and old is new.
So I'm sure he will be back at some point in time, whether it be with Sportsnet or with TSN
or perhaps with The Athletic.
Well, I think he still writes for The Star.
Like, I think he, even now, he has a guest columnist.
But he's in there regularly, he told me anyways.
So you can see him in The Star.
And you're right, he'll be fine, you know.
What is this version of the song that you're playing?
I just went, like, cheers,
and I didn't even check what version it was.
I didn't know.
This is terrible.
It's like an instrumental.
Why am I playing this?
Because the last time I cracked open some winter ale, it was with Ed Conroy.
And we were doing a very interesting retrospective on Mark Daly, the voice.
And in that episode, I mentioned,
we were talking about Cheers finale or something?
No, we were talking about Star Trek Next Generation finale
being at, I think it was at Skydome or something.
And I just said, oh, I remember when Cheers did that.
And Ed told me that that was some effect.
What effect is it?
The effect where you misremember something
and you think that happened, but it didn't happen.
And I said, no, I'm pretty sure it happened.
Anyways, Ed said, no, I was misremembering.
And I said, okay, Ed, I trust you.
You know your shit.
But many people tweeted at me or messaged me to tell me, like, no, this happened.
Here's footage of it on YouTube.
And here's the Toronto Star article about it and all this stuff.
So they played the final Cheers episode at the Sky Dome?
In front of 40,000 people at Sky Dome. One sounds like one of the worst things you could ever possibly do.
I didn't go to it.
Why would anyone do that?
I remember it happening.
Oh, my God.
So 40,000 people, yes.
That is horrible.
People, what is wrong with you?
Ed is now kind of glad to hear we're not mis-
What's that effect called?
Do you remember?
There's a word for it, but they always talk about the Berenstain Bears
and how Berenstain is spelled
S-T-A-I-N, but
people swear it actually used to be
spelled S-T-E-I-N
and that it was changed in some kind of timeline.
Who are you talking to?
What the fuck is going on here?
Anyway, there's an effect.
Mandela effect. Google it.
The Mandela effect.
Nelson Mandela came up with this idea? People believe Nelson Mandela died. Google it. The Mandela effect. Okay, Nelson. Nelson Mandela came up with this idea?
People believe Nelson Mandela died in prison.
And there's a whole bunch of people who swear he died in prison.
Really?
The guy came out and was president of South Africa.
And then his wife was.
You and I know we remember facts, okay?
What the fuck is going on?
But there are people who think he died in prison.
And at some point that there was like an alternative timeline that like skewed things.
Oh my lord.
And that we're now living in another timeline.
What the fuck?
This is like deep into the Spider-Verse.
So when you're done with me, maybe after your feats of strength tonight, Google Mandela.
I want to do feats of strength with these assholes.
So Stephen Curry, I want to do a feats of strength with him.
And the whole fucking Earth is flat thing.
That's not him.
Oh, you're thinking of the wrong guy.
It's not Steph Curry. Yes, it is.
No, no, no. Steph Curry recently
on the... Really? Yes, on a podcast.
I thought it was the Boston Celtics guy
who was with the Cavaliers.
He said it before, but Steph Curry just
recently said it. Well, that's the same kind of nonsense. Like if you think
Nelson Mandela died in prison
and you might believe the... Great. Yeah, but there are people
who don't... We didn't land on the moon. Right, that's the other big one.
There's a whole whack of that.
And the Holocaust never happened.
Well, that's...
That's like a criminal offense now, though.
In Germany.
Yeah, you can't...
No, in Canada, too.
In Canada, you can't go on...
The CRTC won't let you go on the public airwaves
and say the Holocaust never happened.
It's definitely...
Well, you can.
But you lose your license or something?
Yeah, you probably...
I guess they can't jail you.
They just take away your license or whatever,
broadcast license.
But no, we're not saying that, of course.
But there's a lot of nonsense like that we're not saying.
I believe man landed on the moon, believe it or not.
The Mandela effect, look it up.
It's interesting.
Speaking of which, did you see First Man?
No, but I was big at TIFF, and I got into it,
and then I saw it didn't get much like Golden Globe buzz or anything,
and then I fell off the wagon. I thought it was great.
So it's I think the biggest
criticism of it is that it's slow.
Excuse me
which is fine. I thought it was a great movie.
However, one thing that
I read about the movie after I saw it
was that the movie is filmed
in digital up
until the point where they're actually
spoiler alert,
they're on the moon and that whole part of the moon
is filmed in
what is that special
kind of film that Tarantino does all his movies in?
80mm? Is that what it is?
Maybe. I can't remember.
But it's filmed in film and it
looks spectacular.
Wow. I would recommend you watch it, Mike.
The Eagle has landed.
I will see it.
I promise to see it.
And it's got a great Canadian Ryan in it.
Which one is it?
Ryan Gosling.
Right.
So get your Ryan straight.
Okay.
The non-funny one.
Although he may have a sense of humor.
He just certainly doesn't come across
as a guy who does.
No, they're both great,
but you're right.
Ryan Reynolds comes across much funnier.
Yeah.
That whole joke
that they just put on social media
with Wolverine
and Jake Gyllenhaal and him.
Did you see that? No.
So he posted a Twitter
of the three of them at a Christmas party
and Ryan Reynolds said
these assholes told me
it was a funny Christmas sweater party
and he's in a ridiculous Christmas
sweater and the other two are
normal looking.
That's funny.
Yeah.
Do you want to go out,
since it's Festivus and I'm about to play Brian's Festivus message for you,
but do you want to go at me
for my visit to Twitter Canada last week?
And the bag?
Hashtag the bag?
I know.
I mean, I'm not going to go after you.
Good for you for going to Twitter Canada,
but I mean, Jesus Christ,
what the fuck is with this byway bag?
Are you kidding me?
This is dumb.
It was on ctv.ca.
It's so ridiculous.
All this proves is that you're a fucking hoarder.
And people are celebrating the fact that you're a hoarder.
Who's the hoarder?
His parents?
This byway bag.
Cam Gordon's parents who held on to this?
Yeah, whoever.
It's not your bag?
No.
It was your bag.
He gifted it to me when he visited. Wow, there is a real friend. There's not your bag? I thought it was your bag. He gifted it to me when he visited.
Wow, there is a real friend.
There is a fucking friend.
I brought it to Twitter Canada for the video.
You know, Mike, here is a big...
You know what?
We've been friends for 12 years,
and I want to show you how much I appreciate our friendship.
Here's a big bag of steaming dog shit.
What the fuck?
Listen, on this note, I'm glad.
This is a great segue, okay?
You recently,
I think it was a tweet
or an open mic message.
I get them confused,
but you mentioned
that you had a terrible,
a horrible memory.
You said you have
a horrible memory.
I do?
You don't remember?
Yeah.
See?
Isn't that,
I actually copied and pasted it
and put in quotes
that you wrote somewhere.
Maybe it was Facebook
or maybe it was a message to me
that you have a horrible memory.
Do you have a horrible memory?
I do.
Okay. You do? I do. Yeah, Cause I remember you saying that you need to have
a good memory to have a podcast or something like that. Oh, I said it comes in handy. Right. Yeah.
Yeah. Something like that. No, I do. I do have a bad memory. So I started on one of my bike rides.
I was thinking about that comment and it's like, I could hear your voice saying I have a horrible
memory. And then I heard your voice tell me at a previous visit that you don't care for nostalgia.
And then I wondered how...
You always twist this around.
Wait, wait, tell me.
You're right here.
Go ahead.
Twist it around.
Tell me.
Put it in the phrasing that you would say represents your viewpoint here.
You aren't a nostalgic guy?
I'm not a nostalgic guy.
I don't celebrate nostalgia
in the same way that you do.
There is definitely
a...
You have a greater appreciation,
love for...
I don't need to listen to
old clips or...
You just told me you're still listening to those mid-90s
songs that you love.
That's not nostalgia.
It's because that's the music I like.
But they're in the same ballpark.
Okay.
But same ballpark.
I don't listen to it because it gives me good memories.
So they don't take you back to a different time that you enjoyed where you really had
nothing but music to love because you didn't have a mortgage?
It brings me into the time where I've clearly stopped.
Right.
Okay.
I've stopped moving forward.
But do you think your horrible memory is at all related to your feelings about nostalgia?
No, because I don't remember things from the 90s either.
Even though as much as I love that time.
But do you remember going to the Phoenix and having a great time?
However, if you had asked me what I would do on a Monday night when I was 18, 19, 20, 17 years old,
that probably wouldn't have come to mind.
And so being reminded of it, yes, then brought back all these great feelings. 17 years old, that probably wouldn't have come to mind.
And so being reminded of it, yes, then brought
back all these great feelings and
memories and all that stuff. It's not that I don't like
that, but I don't live in that.
I try and very much live in the now.
Well, we all live in the now.
As much as I can. And I actually, believe it or not,
I'm not living in the byway or whatever.
You are living in the...
You love byway. The byway bag was a fun, like, viral moment.
You love byway.
You love consumers distributing.
It only comes up with Ed Conroy.
I want to burn down every mention of consumers.
It was a horrible experience.
People romanticize this consumers distributing experience
like it was something that was great.
It was horrible.
Air that grievance, brother.
People are like, oh, I love it when the thing used to come out
and go down.
Oh, yeah, like it was a beer store.
It never came out.
That was,
you're not,
the reason why you liked it
because nine times out of 10,
nothing came out.
There was nothing in stock.
And so the one time it came out,
you're like,
oh my God,
I can't believe I have this
remarkably overpriced
remote control car
that I bought
at this shitty fucking store.
Like, give me a break, guys.
All right.
Hold on to your...
You probably have more grievances, but I want Brian to introduce this.
So let's listen to our pal, Raptors devotee, Brian Gerstein.
Gerstein.
Do we know?
Gerstein.
Gerstein.
I love this song.
Hey, Elvis.
Brian Gerstein here, sales representative with PSR Brokerage and proud sponsor of Toronto
Mike.
Now is the time to have me evaluate your home or condo if you're looking to get it on the
market in the new year and the upcoming spring market.
Call or text me at 416-873-0292 to get started.
Okay Elvis, let's cut to the chase.
877-0292 to get started.
Okay, Elvis, let's cut to the chase.
In honor of Festivus, let's hear you air your grievances over the past year,
and feel free to start with me.
Though the only time we met in person was at the Wolfpack game.
But maybe I took too long fetching you a beer or blocked your view of the game.
I'm always into self-improvement and have a fixed skin as a realtor.
So I'm used to rejection.
So Elvis, let it fly. When you are done with me,
you can carry on with the rest of humanity.
Elvis is going to get his
phone that's charging in
the other room and he's back.
And now he's going to respond to Brian's
desire to be, I think he wants to be
roasted maybe. You're hilarious, Brian.
I like
Brian. I did meet Brian for the first time.
Did you make him fetch you a beer?
Or no, he's doing that for theatrical effect.
No, I think yes, he was doing that for theatrical
effect. I think he did get me a beer, but I think I also
got him a beer.
I will point out, neither of you paid for this beer.
Correct.
You make it sound so grandiose.
No, I like Brian. I have nothing against
Brian. Maybe, does he think that I sold my house
without him or something?
Do you think that...
You went to the Wolfpack game with him.
I did.
Some guy says, I have my blog for free stuff.
That's what he's talking about.
You know what? I enjoy the free stuff you get
because a lot of times I get to partake in it.
I've been to numerous free...
We spent a lovely romantic weekend away together.
Oh my God.
That was fantastic.
And now they're leaving your hometown.
They are.
That's sad, right?
Are you guys going to be okay in Oshawa?
No, I mean, if you do the math,
it probably affects at least 25% of the city.
It's sad. It's really sad. But that's South Oshawa. You're North Oshawa. It 25% of the city. It's sad.
It's really sad.
But that's South Oshawa.
You're North Oshawa.
It's a whole different city.
I mean, it is, but it's...
So, all right.
Thanks, Brian, for teeing this up.
I got a few quick hits.
Okay.
I really hate people who think the escalators are rides.
Jesus Christ, people.
If you're going to stand on the escalator
and think it's a fucking ride at least move to the right
you motherfuckers and then
when you get off don't just stand at the
top of the escalator expecting
people to somehow magically stop
the escalator so you can figure out which direction
to go
by the way do you remember the
the long
like sidewalk escalator
and Spadina?
Spadina Station heading north?
Yes, yes.
There's also a long...
That's not there anymore, you know.
It's not?
It's not?
I think it's long gone.
Oh, I haven't been to Spadina Station in a long time.
I never leave the bluer line or whatever.
There are still long ones at Pearson Airport.
Yes, yes.
It was like that.
We used to pretend we were surfing in my primary school days.
That was a big thing.
Now, walking escalators are rides.
The ones that go up and down, not rides.
So get out of the way.
Okay, I'm ready.
I'm warmed up now.
Keep going.
So I like to, as you know,
my alter ego likes to post his cups from Starbucks
with incorrectly spelled names on them.
For whatever reason,
people at Starbucks have a problem hearing my name.
I have a real problem with people who tweet back at me
or Instagram back at me
that I should bring my own cup to Starbucks.
99.9% of these people are fucking meat eaters.
So before you criticize me and my threat to the environment,
go fuck yourself and maybe be a decent human being and stop eating meat, asshole.
These are people who live in glass houses and they're throwing stones at you.
Yeah.
I hear you.
Yeah, you're right.
Yeah.
Just greeting cards in general.
Like, don't bother.
I'm going to throw it out.
And I really enjoy-
It's going straight to the recycling bin.
I throw the greeting card right in the recycling bin as soon as I read it.
And you know, those Hallmark cards you get...
I'm not talking dollar store stuff, but there's like six, seven boxes.
Right in the recycling bin.
They're a waste of time.
I got you one.
I feel bad.
I got you one.
All DC movies, for the most part, beyond the recent Superman or Batman with Christian Bale,
really disappointing.
I mean, I love, and DC Comics for the most part,
while I read Spider-Man significantly as a child,
now in my adult life, DC is actually superior.
You're talking in book format.
I see you reviewing things like Batman.
Yes, yes.
So you're a big comic book guy.
I read comic books, yes.
I'm not afraid to admit that.
Perhaps that's a grievance that people should have.
I think my wife has a grievance of that of me.
Now, I'm not a...
I haven't seen many of these movies, but I will
agree with you, outside of the three
movies that Christian Bale was Batman
in... Which were fantastic.
Yes, especially that second
one. Oh my goodness, yes.
Probably the greatest comic book movie of all time.
The Joker heist
was unbelievable.
Yeah, that movie is amazing. At the beginning.
It's almost better than Howard the Duck
maybe. Do you remember Howard the Duck? Also a comic.
Yes, I know. That's why I brought it up. It's Marvel,
right? Yes. Okay. I can't
think of another DC movie, and
I have not seen that Wonder Woman that came
out. Wonder Woman was good. I'm not sure that
I would put it in the all-time greatest movie category,
but it was certainly good.
It was certainly good.
Interesting.
Okay, you got more?
Yeah, two more.
I live in a world of PowerPoint slide presentations
and it drives me bonkers
when people do not use the widescreen or 16x9 slide.
Guys, you're living in 2005.
Fucking wake up here.
You're right.
Let's have a widescreen slide, all right?
By the way, TMDS decided not to renew the office license
and is now running on Google Docs.
Oh, I can get you an office license, dude.
Okay, well hook me up then
because I don't have one right now.
And then lastly, people who put out their garbage
the day
before. Oh, like before night time.
No. At all.
Okay, because I do that. At all.
Because you know what? You wake up in the morning
and there's fucking garbage all over the neighborhood.
I don't have that problem. You fucking idiots.
That's an Oshawa thing, maybe. Like, seriously, guys.
But is it animals that get in there? No, it's
the fucking, well, yes, but there's also
wind. We live in a harsh climate, people? No, it's the fucking, well, yes, but there's also wind.
We live in a harsh climate, people.
Okay, but only the green bin has stuff that the animals want, right?
But don't you have the- Recycling bin is full of paper.
No, we don't have bins like you.
Oh, I see.
The Toronto bins are a little bit new to me.
We have raccoon-proof green bins now.
It's not just the food.
It's the recycling bins and the plastic and paper
Okay, but what time
does your guys come?
My guys are coming
at 7 o'clock.
Yeah.
I can't risk missing it
because I wake up
at 7 o'clock.
Most people usually
are already on their way
out to work
at that point in time.
Or at least up.
That's a tough one
because I'm guilty as charged
and I'm not changing.
Do you put it out?
But mine don't end up anywhere.
Our garbage collection is on Monday.
Would you put it out at Sunday at noon?
Oh, no, no, no.
Unless you were traveling.
What the fuck?
I don't know because you guys have lots of room.
I can see some small Toronto places.
But you guys have lots of real estate
to stick your bins until...
Maybe they were going away to a cottage or something?
No.
It's every Sunday.
It's fucking ridiculous.
That's an Oshawa thing.
It's not an Oshawa thing.
It happens everywhere.
That's it.
I love your grievances.
Fucking put the garbage out in the morning, assholes.
Can I give you a Festivus gift?
May I?
Yeah, of course.
And I want to say...
I don't need gifts.
This is kind of a cool story.
It's not from me.
I'm going to take credit for it.
I like hugs and smiles.
Who gave the big salad
and took credit? George's girlfriend
laid the big salad, right? And then George
said, why did you give her the big salad? I bought that thing
or whatever. So in that same...
Wasn't that his fiancée?
Oh, the one who died? The one who died licking the
envelopes? I can't remember. It was one of his many
girlfriends. Shit, I can't remember.
Yes, and then he was in charge of
the foundation right okay so
my friend uh i'm giving you a courtesy of palmas pasta and we can tell a little story about how we
know uh the great anthony petrucci il duce as we used to call him but i said to anthony i phoned
him up and i said you know all of our lasagnas that we give out are meat lasagnas like large
meat lasagnas and they're fantastic and everybody who has it writes me to say, this is amazing,
like the best lasagna I've ever had.
And then I take credit, like I bought it for them
or something. Of course I didn't buy it for them. Palma
gave them to me to give to you. But I
said to Anthony, I said, you know,
Elvis is a vegetarian. Sure.
I went to a TFC match and watched him eat some
porchetta. Is that how you say it? Porchetta
or porchetta? Porchetta.
I watched him eat that, but he is normally
a vegetarian. I'm sure that was
a moment of weakness.
We can't give this man a meat lasagna.
It's the same reason
I decided to call an audible
and not give Tom
Wilson his six-pack of Great Lakes
beer. I had this moment of like,
this is not cool.
I caught myself. So I'm like, he's like, okay, come to the store.
Isn't Tom Wilson the NHL player that just got suspended?
Yes, but this is a different Tom Wilson.
I'm sorry.
So he's like, well, they got many locations.
Fantastic palm of pasta, but they have one at Queensway in here, Ontario.
So yesterday I biked over to Here Ontario and Queensway and
got you a vegetarian
lasagna. I appreciate that.
I said you didn't
have to go out of the way to do that.
Thank you very much. And they wanted this
to happen. And El Duce.
I am so excited. I don't think I've
ever tried this pasta outside of your wedding.
Oh wow. Which is a very different experience
of course because you're cooking for, how many people
are at your wedding?
100?
125?
Something like that.
I can't remember.
It's all blurred.
It would be very different than this.
So I'm very, very excited to try this.
And so I'm chatting with him and I'm like,
you know, it's Elvis.
And I said, your real name?
And he's like, he was laughing.
And he goes, because he said, oh, the guy
who was busting my chops.
I think he said breaking my balls. I break his balls all the time. But he breaks your balls and my balls. Oh,usting my chops, I think he said breaking my balls.
I break his balls all the time,
but he breaks your balls and my balls.
Oh, he, but remember before.
He loves breaking your balls.
Do you remember,
and I know you do remember,
because you,
although you have a bad memory,
maybe you don't.
Do you remember like 2008-ish or something
that I was helping Humble Howard
with humblehoward.com?
Yes.
And Il Duce was like leaving these,
he's kind of breaking his balls in the comments.
Howard's balls?
Yeah.
Okay.
And somehow I got roped into it and he went at me,
like kind of just,
and then you and I,
remember we went,
I looked up the IP address and I said,
oh, it's coming from Palma Pasta.
Do you remember this?
I don't remember that.
And then you transferred it into,
I think hilariously,
you made it Italpasta. And you were somehow? I don't remember that, no. And then you transferred it into, I think hilariously, you made it Italpasta
and you were somehow,
you left messages that Italpasta sucks.
Do you remember this?
But it wasn't Italpasta.
Italpasta is a real company though too.
Yeah, of course, of course.
But so we,
and then I think I went into the Palma Pasta,
the one at the headquarters,
which is near like Mavis and Burnham Thorpe area.
And I went into it one day because they have a hot table.
And I heard these rave reviews about it.
And I went to eat there.
And this man comes up to me.
And he's wearing a smock, actually.
I remember he's wearing a smock.
I used to wear one at Food City.
I'm like, what's this guy's?
And he came to me and goes, Toronto Mike.
He looks at me, Toronto Mike.
And I'm like, yes?
He goes, do you know who I am?
And then, honestly, I had a moment of like, I might He goes, do you know who I am? And then honestly,
I had a moment of like,
I might be like swimming with the fishes.
I had a moment of like,
is this going to be okay?
He is very Italian.
Yeah.
And it turned out,
it turned out,
I love the guy.
I love the guy.
I love that his alter ego name was El Duce
and that is just so.
Yeah, because that's Mussolini.
So, it's so hilarious.
So, oh my God.
He's a good guy.
He's a good guy.
Oh, no.
I like him.
Again, I hired them to cater.
That wasn't comped or whatever.
That wasn't his wedding gift.
I paid that invoice.
Yeah.
They catered my...
Well, you know, it could have been his wedding gift.
Well, you get everything for free.
That's right.
That's why I started TorontoMic.com.
Okay.
So, just to give the listeners an idea of the level of commitment that this gentleman has to your show.
Anthony?
So you give one of these to every guest.
Correct.
Since November 1st.
I opened it up because I wanted to see how it was packaged because I was worried that it would go bad.
Yeah.
It's very frozen.
There is a sticker on it
that shows you how much it costs,
along with, you know, the ingredients.
Oh, you know what, though?
I got to say this.
Because I picked it up at that,
normally that's not the case.
But listen,
this is how much he sells them for, though.
Yeah, okay.
It's $34.
That's a lot of money for every guest.
Well, how much do you think
the six-pack of Great Lakes is?
I know.
This is fantastic.
So people come over,
they get like $100 in product.
This is unbelievable.
$100.
The beer is probably what?
$4 each.
Although that bottle is about $10.
$4 times $6 is $24.
$4 times $6 is
$60.
$87 plus $34.
They're getting at least
$350. They're getting at least $350.
That's excellent.
Wait till Fast Time gets in on the action.
They want to do something too.
Remember you used to get the pint glasses from Property of the Six?
Yes.
They were like $9 each.
That's crazy.
What's Fast Time?
Fast Time is the watch guy?
Yeah.
He's the guy who asked a question in the Diversity in Sports podcast.
Yes, he did.
Oh, yeah.
We have to talk about that too.
What's his name? Milan. Milan, that's it.
Why did I say Raul? Tremendously well-spoken, intelligent guy.
I'll tell you a hit about him. He asked a
question that was never answered.
Possibly I got excited and forgot to
answer it, but it was Scott. No, he asked a question
of Scott. Right, so he didn't answer it. Well,
you know, those executives are slippery. You know that.
They're like politicians that way.
Okay, we're going to get into that next. But first,
yeah, so enjoy the vegetarian
lasagna. Thank you very much, Mike, for picking that up.
And thank you, Palma. Maybe you can join me on this.
This is the first episode since Palma was sponsored.
They only jumped on in November,
which is amazing because I've known the
guy for like almost as long as I've known
you. And he's just
now jumping in like episode 400 or
whatever but he's in and that's amazing where where's the closest one I might I might have
the closest from here here Ontario and Queensway maybe I'll go there they're probably open maybe
I'll go grab a couple more they're open before I go to my Christmas um or my Festivus I was there
yesterday and they have a lot of great stuff. So it's palmapasta.com.
That's where you go to find out where they are.
But the new location that's really,
the one I mentioned near Mavis in Burnhamthorpe,
it's called Palma's Kitchen.
That's what that nice red box is, Palma's Kitchen.
It's brand new.
And that facility is amazing.
Like they have the hot table stuff
with the pizza and the cappuccino
and the espresso and the coffee.
And it's just great seating for all that.
But they have, it's like a retail store with like authentic italian stuff like honestly i talk
in a bit of an accent when i'm in there i feel like a one of you guys nice nice you guys use guys
use guys youths to youths to youths oh i was talking to my wife about marissa tomei we were
talking about like if i could have like dated any famous person at any point in history
or whatever,
and I'm taking Marissa Tomei.
So fun fact about Marissa Tomei,
she is Aunt May
in the new Spider-Man movies.
Yes, I've seen that, yes.
And Tony Stark,
aka Robert Downey Jr.,
just flirts with her
all the time.
It is hilarious in the movies because she is smoking
hot and she was i remember i uh the wrestler she was still i mean i i mean now i mean everyone gets
older we when one day i made the offhand remark to you that our wives are getting older and my
brother uh pointed it out at a family function or whatever that i i said our wives are getting
older why would you do that i don't know you say stupid things sometimes. But I say a lot. You have to understand
it's a percentage of a whole.
413 episodes.
An average of 90 minutes an episode.
I'm saying so much the odd stupid line
will escape because I don't edit anything.
What are you talking about?
This whole show is edited.
You've edited all this good stuff out.
People will never know.
Enjoy the lasagna
courtesy of Palmas Pasta.
Please enjoy.
Thank you.
We can say Anthony.
We can say his real name.
I don't know.
The Picucci family
owns Palmas Pasta.
Anthony is a gentleman
I deal with
and he's a sweetheart.
I love the guy.
I really do.
I'm surprised
because he was busting my chops
and I was all set
to dislike the guy
and it took a good decade
but it turns out
I really like the guy and I wonder if one day I'll guy. And it took a good decade, but it turns out I really liked the guy.
And I wonder if one day I'll be sitting down
for a Great Lakes beer with my new best friend, Dean.
Who knows what the future holds?
But please, let's continue.
Did you listen to the diversity episode?
I did listen.
You gave me homework.
You said, if you're going to listen to anything,
listen to that episode.
So we'll talk,
even though I'm going to run down the list in a minute.
Please, we know you listened to the Diversity episode.
Start talking, brother.
I don't know where to start.
I mean, part of it was okay.
Most of it was disappointing.
What is this?
This is James Brown, Santa Claus goes straight to the ghetto.
I don't know.
There was a lot of just disappointing comments.
But from who?
Because I was really just moderating this thing.
So I want to know who.
Well, not from you.
I mean, Scott kept going back to this.
Scott Moore kept going back to this concept of you can't just fire everyone and start anew.
Yeah.
He said that the advantage to the Vancouver fan was that they were starting from scratch.
Who was a DJ who was recently on this show.
Please continue.
Yeah.
Guess what, Scott?
You fire people from radio and television
all the fucking time.
We just talked about Damien Cox.
But I pointed out that he could have done it.
I pointed that out.
Are you proud of me for pointing that out?
Yeah, yeah.
But again, it went unanswered.
Should he regret the photo of nine white guys
who were the personalities of the fans?
And that was Milan's question he didn't answer.
He should regret that and he should own that.
Didn't he say in hindsight we should have done things
differently? Didn't he say that?
I feel like that's a poll quote.
Not to that question.
It was disappointing because
he kept talking about the establishment.
Scott, you are the establishment.
You know, and it's not you you had the power you
have the power to make the change and the change is not that you don't hire the best people i i
don't think that he there were there were a lot of questions or conversation around diversity meaning
don't hire a white guy and that's not diversity is, because you can look at a team of
all women who are black and say, we need to hire a white guy. He talked about, you know, going to
speak at Ryerson a lot. He said he spoke there a lot. Well, don't hire from Ryerson all the time.
You know, don't go talk at Ryerson all the time. Challenge yourself and challenge whoever it is
that's booking these things to go speak at Humber or go speak at another college or university.
Durham College in Oshawa, where I was recently speaking.
I don't know. Do they have a broadcasting stream?
Yeah, I spoke to them.
Okay. So it really is just making the conscious effort to understand what diversity means to your current team and then challenging
your talent acquisition staff to deliver candidates to you that fit that diversity need.
Ultimately, yes, hiring the best person, but it's really difficult to suggest that there
are no good black broadcasters in Canada. And I completely
agree with the concept that you definitely cultivate a talent pool when there are young
people who are able to look on television and listen to the radio and hear someone and see
someone that looks like themselves
it makes your job easier but diversity hiring is not easy nor should it be easy it makes your
company better makes your team better and you as an executive you as a company have the ability to
make that change um and you know it's it's it was really disappointing that he started off the conversation by saying that he wasn't speaking on behalf of anyone.
He had the opportunity to speak on behalf of a company, of an industry.
Yeah, but he's not with that company.
Don't you think that's what he was saying there?
It was a cop out.
Where, you know, he's only doing this now that he's not working for them.
You know, there was, you know, I just think that
there was a missed opportunity and has continues to be a missed opportunity as it relates to a lot
of this. I think the entire sports and media industry needs to get over themselves. Guys,
it's just a fucking hockey game. Like who's fucking kidding who here? Guys, you're calling
hockey. No one is dying. No one is being sent to the moon.
If you think you're so fucking special because there are two stations in this country that
broadcast hockey, really guys, you think you're that fucking cool? Give me a break. It's a game.
Get over yourselves. Start doing the right thing, making your stations better by hiring people
who represent your audience. The people in the industry are cowards because they're so afraid
of what could potentially happen. When in reality, there was so much talk about the fact that the
media industry was contracting. Maybe the media industry is contracting because you're hiring
people who aren't speaking to the people
who are listening and watching you.
Not because of any other reason.
Do we give
Scott Moore some points
for actually appearing on the damn podcast?
Sure. He could have just not done that.
Sure. I don't have a problem with Scott Moore.
I think he, I have a problem with
what he represents. I don't have a
problem with the guy personally because it's easy for me to also look at him from where I am, where I'm not in the industry. I don't have bills to pay like he does in that moment. And would I have made that decision? I don't know. I know I can look at my track record and I feel confident in my track record as it relates to diversity. However, I'm looking at his comments
as representative of the industry.
I don't have a problem with Scott Moore.
In fact, I think it was very courageous
for him to come on the podcast.
So good for him.
But there were just disappointing aspects
of that entire discussion.
Who was the other gentleman on the panel?
Shirali Najak.
Yeah, I thought he was,
I really enjoyed what he had to say.
He's coming on in January, by the way, for a one-on-one.
Right on.
I enjoyed, I appreciated a lot of the things that he had to say.
He called Scott to task a couple of times.
Well, because he's not his boss anymore.
Yeah.
But I think that this is also a conversation where we shouldn't be afraid to call people out even if it is even if
it is our boss because that's the only way that we get better is if we have the freedom to be able to
call a spade a spade when it relates to things as important as this it really is and scott said
this too it really is just the right thing to do so just do the right thing, guys. And Sophia was pretty good. I thought she was very candid and honest about what she experienced as a broadcaster who is a woman.
Yep.
And let's not bury the lead.
How did your moderator do?
Because you warned me at the Sloan concert.
I can't remember the warning, but I remember it was like be careful or something.
Yeah.
This was a, you know, I got to give you kudos too. This was a, this was a, a potentially dangerous, I just really popped my pee there.
I apologize.
It was a potentially dangerous podcast for you to moderate without having the, the perspective
perhaps that the podcast required, but you, you did a great job and you shut the fuck, that the podcast required.
But you did a great job.
And you shut the fuck up for the most part.
You asked questions.
And I think that that was the best role for you to play.
And you did it well.
So great job.
Thank you.
It's a Festivus miracle.
It is.
It is.
So, you know, sports industry, fucking wake up, guys.
And girls.
Like, really.
You're not as special, perhaps're not you know you're you're not
as special perhaps as you think you are when you were younger to turn the channel on you uh santa
came right santa came yeah yeah sure you don't know anymore who knows uh now do santa santa comes
for your three children that he does yes okay when s Santa came for you, did Santa wrap your
presents? Gift wrap?
Yes.
Santa comes for your kids, everything's
wrapped? Yes.
I have children of two different women.
Women?
How did I say it? I thought you called me on that last time.
Women. Yeah, I got a speech impediment.
Please, that's my cross to bear.
You say woman.
The singular and plural version of woman for you is the same.
Hey, I'm saying a lot of words.
Woman.
Women.
Anyways, we all know what I mean.
So that means I've had the Santas.
I mean, there was Santa,
although that Santa seems to be now moved on.
But there's a big Santa.
I got a four-year-old upstairs who's really excited.
Yeah, I can imagine. Santa's coming again. Yeah, this is
the prime time for him. My four-year-old is
very excited. So in
both of those examples, Santa
wrapped the gifts for the kids, but
when Santa came for me,
Santa never wrapped
his presents. What the fuck? They were
unwrapped, left
for us. We came down on Christmas morning and
unwrapped all of our presents. This is a fact. I'm just telling you a fact.
So that's a fact.
What the fuck? And the reason I'm bringing this up is because
the aforementioned Sophia
Yerslakovich
does a podcast of Jackie Redmond
and Jackie disclosed
that Santa didn't wrap her presents
and I can tell you
that there was like the outcry
from Sophia and others was that that was madness. That is madness. And I can tell you that there was the outcry from Sophia and others was
that that was madness. That is madness.
But I was like, oh my God, I'm not the only
one. I felt like
at least there's another family out there
where Santa didn't wrap presents.
Can you really call that a family?
Somebody who doesn't wrap
presents?
Give me a break.
Now, gifts from like...
Did they come with a gift card?
No gift card.
Back then you had gift certificates.
If they were just randomly placed...
Not randomly.
Each child had a section, if you will, like a place.
If they're not wrapped, it's random.
So they're all these material goods all over the place underneath the tree.
How do you know whose is whose?
They're not under the tree.
The night before, every child picks a spot.
Like I might say I'm the oldest.
I would say the couch is me.
What the fuck?
Then all the gifts that were on that couch the next morning, Santa left for me.
This is ridiculous.
So you have to talk to, well, look, I can hook you up with my mom and you can chat with her about it.
Because not, you know, this is very, by the way, we're being careful because I know kids
listen to this podcast. Does this happen right now? Kids listen.
I don't want... So we're not going to explicitly
say anything except to say
you can chat with her about this because she remembers
this happening. Santa did not wrap her gift.
So did you then, like once you got
to that point where you were a little bit older,
come up with really weird places
to put the gift?
Oh, you know, that's a whole separate...
The family fell apart by that point.
Santa
changed. I don't want to get into that
right now. The family fell apart.
Like, I want my presents in the back
of the toilet.
You had one room you had to pick a place.
And they were only like a chair, a love seat,
whatever they talked about in the early 80s.
I want to find the presents up my arsehole.
I know.
Within reason.
You had to pick a spot within reason.
So I just wanted to find out if, I think, me and Jack.
I feel like up my arsehole is a pretty good place to put a matchbox car.
Do you want to spend a moment?
And I should tell people, we actually have each brought our five favorite,
I forgot to mention this.
We each brought our five favorite power ballots. We did this, we each brought our five favorite power ballads.
We did.
And we're going to rock out later.
It's going to be great.
Can I pee first?
Yeah.
I got to pee.
Do you want to pee right now?
Yeah, can I pee?
Okay, then I'll have to save my...
Do you want to do like a sponsor?
Yeah, sure.
You go pee.
Now, everybody, Elvis is going to the washroom.
So instead of me asking him about RD Lang, which was next on my list here, I'm going
to talk about Paytm. Just visited Paytm last week. Good people there. They are, that's the,
that's an app for your smartphone that's designed to manage all of your bills in one spot. You
download this app from paytm.ca. I saw they were the number one finance app on Google Play and iTunes,
which is amazing. I'm taking full credit. Paytm Canada, they give you rewards for your
bill payment. And if you want $10 right now, like I do this, I'm going to ask Elvis when
he gets back if he's done it yet. You use the promo code Toronto Mike when you make
your first bill payment and you get $10 in Paytm cash.
It's amazing.
So go to Paytm.ca, download it, use my promo code because they track that.
And I'm sure that's how they decide to renew.
They just renewed for January, February, and March.
And I'm excited to have them here still.
Good people, good app.
Do it up.
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Elvis is back.
I didn't hear...
I was close.
Did I hear that sink faucet?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I feel it in my hands.
Let me smell your hands.
Yep, smelling good, buddy.
Weirdo.
Smelling good.
Please share with me.
Are you aware of recent Artie Lang?
I know you're a big Howard Stern fan
and you're a big Artie Lang fan, right?
I am.
I do enjoy it.
Are you up to date with the whole nose thing and everything and his struggles?
Yeah, his nose has completely collapsed from excessive cocaine use.
And while he was in rehab, instead of going to jail, he went to rehab.
Or no, sorry.
He went to rehab.
And then as part of a previous um criminal
charge he was drug tested and after rehab tested positive for amphetamine and cocaine
but not heroin so heroin apparently is one of his biggest vices as an opiate. And he feels while he has
fallen off the wagon after
rehab, the fact that he has not gone back
to heroin is a win for him.
And he continues to be a work in progress.
But he certainly looks,
I mean, without trying to be mean.
What happens with, okay,
I've never tried cocaine, but
I guess frequent cocaine
snorting up the nose. And doesn't he snort heroin too? I don't know, but I guess frequent cocaine snorting up the nose.
And doesn't he snort heroin too?
I don't know.
But I guess that, I don't know, the cartilage in there breaks down or something.
Septum?
Septum, I think.
Yeah, his nose is very big and very flat.
Because there's no structure to it.
So it is a bit shocking to see.
Apparently he's going to have surgery to fix it.
Addictions of a fucking bugger.
Yeah, and he's been really surgery to fix it but addictions of a fucking bug yeah and he's been he's been really really struggling with it um and yeah i mean he said it he said it himself he's
lucky to be alive well he's tried to kill himself in the past he has yes it really sucks but uh yeah
hope hope the best for him uh i'm not sure how much longer he can stay out of jail though if he
keeps this up but um yeah i mean i the guy because, I mean, not just because
I like him on the Howard Stern Show, but I liked him
even just the Norm MacDonald stuff, like Dirty Work
and stuff. Yeah, and I just watched Elf
yesterday with my kids, and he was Santa
in Elf. Man, I hope he can
conquer the...
That's affliction, man. That addiction. And the more
anyone who has a loved one
who's addicted, it's fucking...
It grips you, man.
It's awful.
It is.
It's horrible.
It's horrible.
Hopefully, Artie Lang can turn it around.
So, I hope the Lakeshore Moms will stop rallying against the local methadone clinic that opened.
Oh, do you have a methadone clinic?
Yeah.
But they're really discreet about it.
I should go.
But the Lakeshore Moms are.
Maybe I'll go there.
Do you have an opiate addiction?
I'll go there and.
Do you have an opiate addiction? I do not there and... Do you have an opiate addiction?
I do not.
I do not.
I believe you need one.
I think it's a prerequisite.
I don't know.
Oh, you do?
You can't just go get free methadone?
No, I don't think so.
Oh, man.
All my heroes at the methadone clinic.
But okay, I want to ask you about Bad Santa versus Four Christmases.
So now I have to...
So I'll just share with you all that I've seen Bad Santa twice.
The first time I watched it, I quite liked it.
I thought it was charming.
And I watched it again, and I still liked it.
But, you know, I don't watch a lot of Christmas stuff.
I'm just doing, I just did It's a Wonderful Life with James.
And then yesterday we picked it up with Michelle because she fell asleep during it.
But anyway, I did that one.
But I actually don't do a lot of Christmas specials.
But I want to ask, I liked Bad Santa enough.
Can't watch it with the kids but I like it
and the Four Christmases I thought was one of the worst movies
I've ever seen in a movie theater
and I found it like offensive
you saw it in a movie theater
yeah because I had
I had a pass for like the Young Dundas
AMC
and there was nothing going I just went because it was like
a new release and it had big stars in it
like Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon
and stuff and I remember it was pretty freaking awful. And I remember
you saying you loved it. And it was like, oh, yeah, Elvis has bad taste. Like it was
one of those moments I remember. So can you please tell me you you saw Bad Santa? Is it
better or worse than Four Christmases? I just recently watched Bad Santa for the first time
on Netflix. It was all right. i didn't love it as much as
people were convinced that i was going to love the movie it's not a christmas but it's a it's
it's a christmas movie for adults it's not a christmas movie at all how can fuck me santa
not be a christmas it's not a christmas movie he's dressed as santa but he is a but there's a
charming there's a charming aspect with him uh in a boy. Yeah, but charming aspect doesn't have anything
to do with Christmas. It's not a Christmas movie, people.
Okay, what makes a Christmas movie? Like, if it's
setting at Christmas and he plays a Santa,
it's called Bad Santa. That's it.
But people argue that
Die Hard is a Christmas movie. Absolutely, a Christmas movie.
It's got far less grip on Christmas than Bad Santa.
Absolutely, a Christmas movie because we all wish
our families would die at Christmas, which happens
at Die Hard.
So,
you know,
Bad Santa.
Hans Gruber.
It was all right.
It was all right.
Okay,
but what about
Four Christmases?
Do you still want to die
on that hill?
You still think
Four Christmases
is a great movie?
I enjoy Four Christmases
because it illustrates
the ridiculousness
that is the holidays
in such a beautiful way.
But it's not funny.
Like,
in fact,
it's the opposite of funny.
Like, where it's uncomfortable to watch. Exactly. Just like the holidays in such a beautiful way. But it's not funny. Like, in fact, it's the opposite of funny. Like, where it's uncomfortable to watch.
Exactly.
Just like the holidays.
Oh, my God.
So uncomfortable.
Full of fucking phonies.
So why do we do that?
Assholes.
Why do we even have this holiday?
Like, why do we do this?
Because people are assholes.
Because they think they're going to heaven.
Because they feel like the kids are a bad dad or something?
No, they're going to heaven.
That's why.
But what about you and I?
We're not going to heaven.
I'm not celebrating Christmas.
I think it's fucking bullshit.
But Santa's coming? Yeah, because I have kids and I? We're not going to heaven. I'm not celebrating Christmas. I think it's fucking bullshit. But Santa's coming?
Yeah, because I have kids
and I have another person in my life
who has made this part of it.
And that's why you live in Oshawa,
right, for the record?
Correct.
Are you going to contact
Brian Gerstein,
propertyinthe6.com,
because you want to get
a downtown condo?
I want to, you know what?
My Christmas miracle would be,
my Festivus miracle would be
if I got to sing on the next Brian Gerstein jingle.
We can make that happen.
That would be fantastic.
I'm still trying to get...
Do you know who arranged that jingle?
Was that you or...
Ill Vibe.
Oh, Ill Vibe.
Okay.
Ill Vibe, who also composed the Trotter Mike theme song.
He did.
Which is a wonderful thing,
and I'm not ever going to change that.
At some point, we talked, me and him,
Illy, we talked about him refreshing it
like a modern spin.
Oh, right, yeah, yeah. And then I like...
No. No. Fuck it. It's good. I like
it. Keep it going. It is what it
is. And it's got like six and a half
years now in the...
Did David Letterman ever change his theme
song? No. Outside of changing
networks? I don't think so. No, right? The entire time
he's on CBS, it was the same thing. Although I can't confirm.
I can't remember, but I don't think so. But
you know, David Letterman's got nothing on Toronto Mike,
remember that.
So, let me tell you this,
Elvis,
speaking of Milan,
I want to tell you
about what happened.
Remember the time
this day,
this exact day,
so this is Festivus.
So on Festivus,
in 1964,
Eddie Vedder
was born.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
What the fuck is this world?
Run into you, didn't leave a message.
At least I could learn your voice one last time.
Daily mind field is good.
Be my time by your way.
Would you hit me?
Would you hit me?
Oh, would you hit me?
Would you hit me? Would you hit me?
Eddie Vedder uses the pseudonym Jerome Turner
on Pearl Jam records for his non-musical contribution.
Do you get more upset by me saying Pearl Jam sucks or Radiohead sucks?
Far more upset at Pearl Jam sucks because I like Pearl Jam a great deal more than I like Radiohead.
Both of those bands have extreme fans that want to rip my throat out when I say that.
You know who's an extreme Radiohead fan?
It's your cancer twin, Vanessa.
Oh, really?
Oh, horrible.
And then, yeah, horrible.
How's your cancer doing?
It's gone still, right?
It's gone still, yes.
I just wanted to make sure of that.
I'm glad. I'm always happy to hear that wanted to make sure of that. I'm glad.
I'm always happy to hear that.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I'm anti-cancer.
Thank you.
Even in people I don't like.
The astrology or the disease?
I am the astrology cancer.
So am I.
We call ourselves moon children because we don't like that negative connotation.
You're a maniac.
I don't also believe in all that.
Okay.
But yeah, not only is he Jerome Turner when he's doing like design and artwork, but when
he, sometimes he uses this pseudonym.
Ready?
Succotron 2000?
Wes C. Addle.
Wes, first name.
C is in the middle initial.
Addle.
And that's West Seattle.
We got it.
Thanks.
Remember the time is brought to you by Fast Time Watch and Jewelry Repair.
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They were the Sears watch repair people.
Do they come up with this or do you?
I come up with this.
So whenever you podcast, you go on the internet and find out what happened on that day.
Not only that, I do that, but yes.
But I also am very sensitive to who is my guest.
So if it's a musician, I might pick something musical.
So if it's Molly Johnson, you choose Aretha Franklin's death as a thing?
Did we need to bring that up?
I'm taking bullets from multiple fronts.
Check the liner notes, Mike.
2018 was a tough year for me because all I'm trying bullets from multiple fronts. Check the liner notes, Mike. 2018 was a tough year for me
because all I'm trying to do,
all I'm trying to do...
Team Molly over here, buddy.
I have James B. coming over next week.
I just want interesting people to come over
to have real talk.
To just have conversations.
And I'm honestly...
I'm not out to get anybody.
Who is your shortest guest?
Not shortest, sorry.
Let me rephrase that.
Shortest?
Siobhan Morris.
Which guest appeared on your podcast for the least amount of time?
Do I exclude the couple of people like Hazel May and Roger Ashby who said I only have 30 minutes?
No.
One of them, I think.
Because were they exactly 30 minutes?
They were around there.
And I also have to exclude earlier episodes where I kind of
try to keep it to 30 minutes for a while.
But one of the ones that sticks out is
Jason Barr because I was ready to
go an hour with him and I
wrapped it up at the 40 minute mark.
Why? Because that was when you felt like
it was too long? I felt like I couldn't extract interesting
stuff because he was not verbose like every other radio person who's been on this show.
Usually you set them up and then they go.
Right.
But he was like answering like yes and no answers to stuff.
Oh, really?
Oh, and he was really pleasant.
I liked him and we had a great chat afterwards.
But on the podcast, he was shockingly had very little to say.
And I found that unusual for like a veteran broadcaster.
But still got a hot morning show on 97.7 Hits FM.
Do they both live in St. Catharines?
Or in that Niagara region?
Biggs and Barr?
Yeah.
I know he lives out that way.
Barr.
I don't know anything about Biggs.
But yeah, they're out there.
Gotcha.
Yeah, that's a great place.
That's a good show. Yeah, well, I don't listen to it, but I hear good
things about it, and I like that station.
I enjoy it. Even though, I just
jokingly, when you said shortest guest, I said
Siobhan Morris from 1010, and I realize
now, her dad is Pauly
Morris. Pauly Shore?
Her dad is Pauly Shore.
Weird. Fun fact. Weird. Pauly Morris was aolly Shore. Her dad is Polly Shore. Weird.
Fun fact.
Weird.
Polly Morris was a long time.
He built Hits FM 97.7, and they let him go in 2018.
So after like many, many years of service.
Shitty.
Anyways, it all comes together.
Remember the time.
Again, go to FastTimeWatchRepair.com to find a location near you.
If you're listening to my voice right now
and you have a watch that needs a new band
or maybe you need a new battery,
if you go to FastTime and just say,
hey, I heard about you on Toronto Mike,
they're going to give you 15% off
that battery installation.
Who doesn't have a watch?
Do you wear a watch, Mike?
No.
Really? You don't wear a watch?
I don't wear a watch.
I always wear a watch.
But I don't have a wedding ring on, see?
And this is not so I can pick up chicks at the Phoenix when I go to Oslo.
Right, sure.
I actually don't like the feeling of having anything on me,
like a necklace or...
I even took out my...
I had an earring for a long time.
Nice.
I know.
And it's long gone now.
No rings, no necklace, and no watch.
I don't like anything on me.
You like my balls on your forehead.
That's taking me back to
those good porno days. You just gave me
a good memory there. Holy smokes.
But seriously, thank you, Milan,
for
and Fast Time for
sponsoring the show. That's the kind of sponsorship
he's paying for. What's a good giveaway?
What would be a good giveaway for Fast Time?
Like, if they want to compete
with the pasta people
and the beer,
you just got a six-pack
of Great Lakes,
I should point out.
A giveaway?
Like, they can't give out
like a watch.
No.
Like, they can't give out
a watch band.
No, that would be dumb, too.
They can't give out
watch batteries.
Like, what can they give?
I don't know.
Let me noodle on that. Noodle on that don't know. Let me noodle on that.
Noodle on that one, please.
Okay.
I'm going to do this really fast because I want to get to the power ballots.
They could be something complimentary.
Like, I'm playing with this bottle opener in my hand.
They could...
What's the equivalent in the watch universe?
Well, no.
They could...
Oh, I see.
Because you're going to give out a six-pack, they could brand a bottle opener.
Here's the thing.
I agree with you.
The six-pack is actually the cans, right?
So I have the winter ale bottle, but that's a really, I have the pumpkin ale at like October,
and then I have the winter ale in like December, but otherwise it's all cans.
It's kind of weird to give them out.
Yeah, you're right.
So we have to think about this, but that's a good idea because that's what Brian was leaning on with.
And I should tell everybody, good news from Great Lakes Brey and that i got the word uh last week from uh troy that they want to renew for another six months yay that puts him out like i think that's
like over three years great lakes is you know what i and i don't say that because i don't your
podcast fucking sucks i i don't i don't like it at all. But I do buy this beer
because of my continued exposure to it
from your podcast.
Bless you and save you
from the fires of hell.
I enjoy this beer.
As my grandmother used to say to me,
it scared the shit out of me.
You know what?
Well, yeah.
Hey, that's what religion is all about.
But I really do enjoy the fact
that it is brewed locally.
It is good.
And the guys seem to be really, really great people.
Family-run business. That's actually...
Fast Time is a family-run business.
Palma Pasta is a family-run business.
Brian is Brian. Rapper's fan. He's a real
deal. You saw him at the Wolfpack game.
And who did I mention? Great Lakes is a
family-run business. The Bullet family.
So no, that's not a family-run business.
Pay-TM, though, I was in Asia, and they're
there, too. Japan just launched PayPay, which is their version. Asia, and they're there, too.
Japan just launched PayPay, which is their version.
This is a much bigger company than I thought.
They're massive in India.
Oh.
And they got a bunch of Alibaba money.
Oh, gotcha. There's a whole thing.
That's it.
I was just at the location.
It's on Adelaide, downtown Toronto.
Cool.
That's where they have Torontonians working.
In fact, they're servicing
India from Toronto, which is like the flip
of what we're used to. Yeah, big time. But
that's the only example of a Toronto Mike sponsor
right now that's not like a family-run
business. Still good people, though.
Fucking amazing people. And
Nakia kicked out the jams. It was great fun.
So let's do this quickly. I'm going to run down
every episode I've recorded since you were last here.
I'm going to exclude the unlisted secret episodes.
Apparently some of those have happened.
I'm going to pretend they didn't happen.
Okay.
You ready?
Yeah.
No.
Dahlia Kurtz.
No.
Gregory Strong from Canadian Press.
Danny Stover kicked out the jams.
No.
Gary Cormier from the Garys,
which was a very historical...
I know, I know.
Themology 101 with Retro Ontario,
where we played a great Toronto theme song.
Yeah, see that...
That's an example of nostalgia
that I just, I'm like, I don't get it.
The Retro Ontario episodes are heavy on this.
I can understand that.
And I imagine people love it, but I just don't. Humble and Fred. I can understand that. And I imagine people love it. I just don't.
Humble and Fred. No.
Peter Gross. No.
Does Humble, I was going to ask, does Humble
still hate me? But I imagine that Humble
doesn't even know me. So does Humble
even know who I am? Did he ever hate you?
I don't know. He had some
nasty things to say about me
at one point in time. Did he? Yes, he did. Remember?
Oh, I think he was belittling my show
and he joked about how
my guests are always
this guy Elvis
no one heard of.
No, no, no.
Which is true.
At one point in time
that was true.
Because every episode,
I have hundreds of episodes
that are always Elvis.
No, there was one time
where I said something
that he interpreted
as not nice
about his girlfriend.
The former girlfriend.
Yeah, ex-girlfriend.
The younger girlfriend.
His ex-girlfriend.
Who's married now to somebody
else. Oh, good for her.
Good for her. She's a nice lady.
She is very nice, yeah.
Okay, Amanda, I believe her name is.
Okay, so I don't think
he hates you. Why do you need to say the name?
Amanda? I don't know. Just the first name.
Peter Gross.
That episode was
Ed Conroy's
famous dude
favorite episode of 2018
he came clean
about speaking of addiction
he had a major
coke addiction
in the 80s
he opened up about it
but he's currently battling
an addiction to gambling
oh shitty
which is also
a terrible addiction
like he was saying
he would like
he was
the way he was talking
I was like
oh my god
like he would
you know whatever
run over his grandmother
to get another buck to put on the football game or whatever.
It's a really gripping, serious, terrible addiction.
Shitty.
Yeah, it is shitty, but he knows he has it.
I feel like there needs to be better programs.
Maybe they are, and I just don't know,
but better programs for people suffering from these addictions
because that sounds like a terrible one.
Colin James was here.
Oh, good.
You didn't listen to that one.
Even though Colin James
is a big time
fucking Canadian rock star.
You don't like Colin James.
No.
Colin, if you're listening,
Elvis is not a fan.
12.36 came on.
Good.
I like to,
I still subscribe
to his newsletter.
We read it every day
that it comes out.
This guy takes
fucking vacation though.
Like, holy shit.
I know.
I think he went to Israel.
Like, he just went on.
He's like, this is my last newsletter for December.
And it was like December 1st.
But he's coming here next week.
So I'll ask him why he shuts it down.
Holy moly.
The news keeps going there, man.
I know.
Holy moly.
They don't shut down the 6 o'clock news.
That keeps going.
Mike Zeisberger.
No.
Oh, he's really good, man.
Mo Berg from Pursuit of Happiness.
Nope.
That's a big time fucking Canadian box there, too.
Yeah, it is. Huge. Huge.
What a good episode that was. You're missing out, man.
Scott Moore's first appearance. Nope.
Nope. That one got
lots of trash. I can imagine. Yeah, yeah.
He's a big name. Jamar McNeil. Nope.
Who is the new Roger Ashby on 104.5.
No. He was a fun guy, too.
Gore Downey tribute with me
and who was on that? Jamie Dew and Tyler Campbell.5. No, he was a fun guy too. Gore Downey tribute with me and who was on that? Jamie
Dew and Tyler Campbell.
Nope.
Joe Tilly coming up next.
Nope. Oh, what a great episode.
It was emotional too. He talked about
Who was it that tweets they can't wait?
What was the over under? First of all,
over under guys, if you're going to do an over under,
it has to be a half number. You can't say
the over under is two because if I did listen to two an Over Under, it has to be a half number. You can't say the Over Under is two. Because if I did
listen to two, then no one wins. It's a push.
Yeah. What are you talking about?
What are you talking about? Somebody tweeted,
what was the number of episodes I'd actually be listening to?
Oh, yeah. Probably. I don't know.
Beats, maybe? He likes to bust your chops.
Could be. Beats, I've never met Beats.
He's got a beard like yours.
Except I don't think it's as white as yours.
He probably gives less Santa references.
Great.
Okay.
You didn't listen to the Gordani Troubadour or the Joe Tilly.
What about Kevin McGrann from the Toronto Star?
Nope.
What about Danny Elwell?
Nope.
What about Lou Skizis?
I like Lou.
I like Lou a lot.
That episode brought out a lot of,
I want to call them trolls,
but people who are just making my life difficult.
Lou is very polarizing too, I think.
Yeah, because there's a little,
he's got a little bit of that
Trumpkin Tea Party stuff
that kind of sticks in there.
And I think that's always very polarizing.
He's very opposite of you.
Very triggering.
It's interesting that he likes you,
given that...
We like each other.
Yes, yes.
But both of you disagree significantly
on politics. That's true. But I think you disagree significantly on politics. I don't think we agree on anything.
That's true.
But I think that's evidence that I don't just have like echo chambers in here.
He comes on and he says, I don't believe in a lot of...
I mean, I have Alex Pearson on, similar story there.
But please, let's talk about Rachel Brady and Christina Rutherford came on together.
I did not listen, but I was interested because you had told me that you had invited Rachel
and she had invited
her friend to come on.
Who was great.
And I was wondering
how that dynamic worked out.
And she has a wonderful voice.
Who was better?
Oh, I can't.
Okay.
But yeah,
if you don't know Elvis,
because one of those,
you were at both
Wolfpack matches, right?
I was.
I was.
So did you meet Greg Brady?
Yeah, of course.
Rachel Brady is his wife? Yes, I met her too. Okay. I shook her hand anyway. So did you meet Greg Brady? Yeah, of course. Rachel Brady is his wife.
Yes, I met her too.
Okay.
I shook her hand anyway.
Oh, I didn't.
So she brought her pal, Christina.
They became friends at the Vancouver Olympics in 2010.
Cool.
And Christina's got a fantastic voice.
David Schultz came in to talk about his book,
Hockey Fight in Canada.
Yeah.
The book that you promoted at your, what do you call it? TMLX2.
Yeah, you told everyone who
had a son or dad to go
buy this hockey book and I was
wondering what the fuck. I know, but I own that in that episode.
You're right. Like, give me a break, dude.
Really? You're promoting a hockey book
only to men? Can a man slip? No.
Can I ask you a question? Your excuse
was that
that was what you were told to say in the sense that they gave you
like sort of like a little preamble, a script.
Okay.
Well, listen.
Dude, come on.
Dude, listen.
I own that.
My bad.
And I corrected my...
Some episode, I think with David Schultz, I corrected myself.
My bad.
Of course, I shouldn't have said that.
But you know why I said that?
Because I'm just going to get myself in trouble here.
99.9% of hockey books are purchased for fathers.
I'm just going to...
Our grandfathers, yes.
I have the analytics in front of me.
99.9% of hockey books aren't bought.
My point is, how many mothers do you think are getting a hockey fight in Canada?
How many hockey books are...
Just tell me, tell me.
What percentage of... If he sold...
Let's say he sold 100 copies, okay?
I couldn't possibly...
He must have a guess. If you were a smart
script writer... Yes.
If you were a smart script writer, you'd say
give this to the hockey fan in your life.
Right, okay. And it was live.
Be smart, people.
It was off the cuff. Just be smart.
Andy Kim.
Nope.
Why was there a dramatic pause there?
He's the sugar, sugar guy from the Archies.
He's a big deal.
Mike Richards made a big announcement on my show.
He's having a podcast.
On January 7th, he already has a podcast, I think.
On January 7th, he's going to be the new morning man on the new... Your parents still live in Mississauga, right?
Yes.
Maybe they listen to CKNT.
I'm pretty sure they still listen to AM.
CKNT is an AM station.
960, I want to say.
960.
It's Mississauga's News Talk or something, but it's...
I didn't even know that existed.
Mike Bullard is the afternoon guy.
Oh, from jail he does that. No, he's not in jail.
He's not in jail. I'm kidding.
No, he's not in jail.
Maybe I'll listen to that on my way to Palma
Pasta since I'll be in Mississauga. January 7th.
What is their range? Do you know?
It's like a couple of blocks each direction.
That is a problem. Apparently that's a big
problem, but it is nice that
Mike Richards will be back on Terrestrial Radio.
Yeah, good for him.
I like the guy.
He's a good type.
Charlie, he's a nice man.
Acid Test came over to kick out the jams.
Sweet.
You did not listen.
Nope.
Milan came over to kick out the sports media jams, which is just to say, talk about all
his memories of sports media.
Is this your first animated character?
Milan.
Oh, Milan.
That's Milan, isn't it?
Mulan.
Mulan.
Okay, this is Milan.
I'm kidding.
I know. Don't forget, I have Asian children. That's a great role model for the Asians. The, Milan. That's Milan, isn't it? Mulan. Mulan. Okay, it's Milan. I'm kidding. I know. Don't forget,
I have Asian children. That's a great role model
for the Asians.
Asian. The entire Asian
continent. All of them. They finally have a Disney
princess to call their own. That's a very big deal.
Okay. Lowest of the Low
came over. That was cool. Did you listen?
No.
I don't know why he did this.
I don't know why he did this.
It's painful.
I don't know why he did this.
This is gold you're missing.
You know what?
I should do this with 1236
because he listens to every episode.
Even if I did listen to the episodes now,
I feel like I shouldn't say that I listened to them.
No, you should if you did.
Tom Wilson,
one of my favorite episodes,
maybe my favorite of 2018.
I'm looking at his artwork right now.
Tom Wilson was $3.99.
My goodness, what a story
and what a great delivery. What a
wonderful episode. Did you listen?
No. Okay, your homework for next episode
is to listen to $3.99.
I can't believe you didn't listen to Tom Wilson. Episode 400
has your voice on it.
Recorded in an airport or something.
Oh, that one. Yeah.
It was in Japan. It was recorded
in the Tokyo airport.
Paytm just launched as PayPay.
Did you listen to 400?
No, I did not.
Come on.
Hebsey was 401.
Did you listen to Hebsey's return?
I did not, no.
Sarah Burke, who's at 88.1 and SiriusXM,
did you listen to her?
I did not.
Okay, Damien Cox.
I did not.
He was third time's a charm.
He was fantastic.
You said that was his best appearance.
Yes, it was his best appearance.
He was the least awkward and he was the warmest.
It only took three times.
Jane Stevenson, who reviews concerts, etc. for the Toronto Sun.
But she has so many great stories.
You mentioned that at the Phoenix.
I listened to Jim Stevenson's episode, but not Jane's.
Not Jim.
Jim Stevenson is a great episode too.
Okay.
You're a TFC ticket holder?
Yes.
Like forever?
Yeah.
Since day one.
In the supporter section?
Correct.
No.
What if I told you
there was an episode
with former TFC captain
Stephen Colwell?
And this broke the,
this popped the cherry for you
in the sense that
this was your first
professional athlete to appear.
But then,
Boundless,
at Tim Thompson,
told me he played
low-grade professional hockey
in the East Coast Hockey League.
And I don't know
if that counts or not.
No, come on.
It's very low tier,
but my cousin did the same thing
and they played together
at the University of Guelph,
but I didn't know Tim Thompson.
I think, so what,
the record still stands
so that you don't have
a current athlete
who's appeared.
No, I tried to get
Dalton Pompey
and he said he was going to do it, but that was two Christmases
ago, and I'm still waiting. I'm still staring
out the window, because I want to talk about summertime,
summertime, you know. Okay, so
you did not listen to Stephen Caldwell. It's an
interesting episode about lots of soccer
stuff. How did you enjoy talking about soccer
for that? I had help, because it was tough.
Yeah, because I went to his wiki page, and I said, oh, he played for
these club teams. I can't remember the names now.
They were in England. And I said, like, he played for these club teams. And I can't remember the names now. They were in England.
And I said, like, talk about your, I'll make it up, Northampton, whatever.
And he would tell great stories, but they meant so little to me.
But I brought a guy with me named Barry Carlyle, who was more savvy in that regard, who helped me do that.
But yeah, Stephen Colwell was a great episode.
Yeah, he's a good guy.
He was a very nice guy.
Dan Dunleavy. No, but I really like Dan Dunleavy. Okay.
Dan Dunleavy is like the backup
for Rick Jenneret. Do you know Rick
Jenneret collapsed during
calling a game last night? It was taken
to the hospital. Oh, no. Really?
And he's alive, but he had
some heart thing happen.
I know. One of the greatest voices on radio for play-by-play.
La, la, la, la, la, la, Fontaine.
He's great.
Absolutely, he's great.
And just yesterday night that happened.
He was the one who shouted out, Mayday, Mayday, right?
That was probably his biggest call.
Yeah.
And he had, yeah, McGilney, and he had a lot of great calls.
But Dan Dunleavy was hired to replace him
because Rick Jenneret was going to retire.
And then Rick Jannaret changed his mind.
But Dan Dunleavy did call a bunch of Sabres games.
And it was great.
Honestly, listen to the Dan Dunleavy.
Okay, I'll listen to Dan Dunleavy.
We're almost done here.
Diversity panel, you did listen because I made you.
I did.
There's one.
Ding.
That's amazing.
Only one of those great episodes.
DJ Starting From Scratch.
Nope. Good name, though. Ziggy. DJ Starting From Scratch. Nope.
Good name, though.
Ziggy.
No, but you, holy love affair, Batman.
Because of that moment at Run amain station when I was a teenager.
Tweeting hearts and stuff back and forth to each other?
Oh, maybe on Facebook.
She did.
She did.
I don't think she tweets.
Whatever.
She is a love affair.
It's mutual. We like each other a lot.
She kissed you in the photo. Yeah, because
yes, because she kissed me
in the first photo. Hubba hubba. So it's like a thing.
All right. Yeah, Ziggy, I'm having an affair
with Ziggy. I don't care who knows it. What about
Matt Coz? Nope.
Do you know who that is? Nope.
Dave Hodge. No offense.
Matt's a, oh yeah, you don't listen to 1050.
No, I don't. Dave Hodge. I did not,'s a... Oh, yeah, you don't listen to 1050. No, I don't.
Dave Hodge.
I did not, but I saw the entry about it.
That almost counts.
Christmas Crackers Volume 2,
which included a massive Mark Daly retrospective
with Ed Conway.
Did you listen to that one?
No.
Oh, okay.
So, that's it.
Wow, that's a lot of episodes since last I've been on.
When was I last on?
September?
Actually, I'm prolific and over-delivering.
Yeah, because you keep saying, every time you keep saying it, you want once a week.
And I end up doing like three or four a week.
I'm trying.
Next week.
Here's a good example.
So, by the way, I want to tell the people, I've secured what I think is an ideal guest
for episode 416.
You don't seem to think 416 is significant.
Why don't you?
Because it's not,
416,
what is that?
That's not a number.
But does 416 not mean anything to a Toronto podcast?
No.
See,
I think you're intentionally being obtuse.
like 400,
450,
500.
I can maybe say 425 or 475.
But you're thinking round numbers,
but you can't think of anything else significant about episode
416 for a Toronto podcast.
I understand what you're trying to do here.
You're trying, I understand, but
that is the...
Did you get David Miller for 416?
No, I did not. Speaking of TFC.
That actually would have worked.
I feel like that would have worked.
Who did you get then?
Are you getting Maestro?
Kicking out the Jams
is Maestro Fresh West.
That's a good one.
For episode 416.
That's a good one.
It doesn't have to be 416,
but it's a good one.
That's a really good one.
Yeah, it is 416.
It's going to be wonderful.
It's a good one.
And he, by the way,
he revealed to me,
he's a,
you'll tell me the proper,
what is it like
when you only eat fish?
Puskitarian.
Okay, he's that.
So is he
kicking out the jams
that, like what,
is there a theme to it?
No, it's his 10 favorite songs of all time.
We'll catch up and do that.
Interesting.
That'll be very interesting to hear.
Yeah, because he did something.
I don't want to talk about it because I don't want to spoil it,
but I have his list and there's something interesting on the list.
Cool.
We'll talk about it later.
I like it.
Is it power anthems like mine?
Let's talk power anthems.
Okay, so I asked you to please send me...
This is hard.
I didn't even document your honorable mentions,
so you can say what you want.
You didn't?
Well, maybe I did, but I'm not going to play any of them.
No, you don't have to play them.
I have your 10 jams.
In fact, one of your jams...
No, five.
Five, sorry.
I have five, you have five.
One of my five was in your five,
so I actually gave it to you, and I picked it for you.
You did?
Yeah, I'm a nice guy.
You already took one for me.
I'll tell you when I play it.
Let's start by playing.
We're going to go one by one.
Okay.
And talk over this if you want.
Sure.
People know these songs.
But this is probably, in fact, I'm certain of all of our jams, there's 10 in total, this
is the most recent.
Oh, yeah.
I saw these guys in concert.
You did?
I never saw them.
Such a great voice.
He's dead now, you know.
I know.
I was almost all...
I've been alone here
since you've been gone.
I've been alone here
and I've grown old
Fall to pieces, I'm falling
Fell to pieces and I'm still falling
Every time I'm falling down Of course, this is Velvet Revolver,
but that unmistakable guitar belongs to Slash.
That guitar, the voice, Scott Weiland from Stone Dumbbell Pilots.
Yeah.
Just a super group, right?
Yep.
And it reminded me a bit of Audioslave.
They had similar names.
That's right.
They came out at the same time.
And there were similar kind of combinations of other great acts we love.
But about this, yeah, these guys are fantastic.
But we did discuss that any, because you kicked out a lot of power ballads when you kicked out the jams.
I did. I did. So there were some that I. Like half of them are power ballads when you kicked out the jams. I did.
I did.
So there were some that I.
Like half of them are power ballads.
There were some that I, some, some.
There were some that I had to take off my list because you said I've already played.
Yeah, yeah.
So I will tell the people though, like November Rain, for example.
Correct.
Elvis kicked that out, so he can't put it on his list.
But it's nice you got some slash in here.
I did.
Sounds good.
This song is so great, man.
It's just great.
And you know what?
Every time I come here, it reminds me the value of listening to music with headphones,
which is how I listen to music so often.
But the over-the-ear headphones, it's just, it takes you away into the place that the artist is trying to bring you.
And it's just, it's awesome.
Agreed.
And when we were listening earlier to Underwhelmed by Sloan in my
headphones, I was thinking like,
is it just me or does it sound fucking great
in these headphones? Yeah, it's so great.
It's very good. But this is a great one
too. Yeah, I can't. Velvet Revolver.
Yeah. You know who
opened when I saw them at the Molson Amphitheater?
Do you know who? Guess who opened?
Maybe I won't make a guess. Maybe I'll tell you.
Alice in Chains with the new lead singer. Oh, you know, guess who opened uh maybe i won't make a guess maybe i'll tell you alice in chains with the new lead singer oh you know i had the opportunity to go see them and i
don't have any interest to see alice in chains without um lane staley yeah speaking of addiction
yeah exactly i mean talk about a voice there too and other than eddie vetter and the guy from mud
honey is there anyone left from the 90s who's still alive who was a lead singer? And I guess Axl Rose.
I mean... Well, you can't...
If you include those, you get a lot. Like, the guys...
Motley Crue's lead singer, there's a lot.
I guess. I thought we were talking about Grunge
guys. I guess, yeah, Grunge guys. There's more guys
dead. But yeah,
Vince Neil's still alive, obviously,
but barely. So is Nikki Sixx
and so is Tommy Lee.
They're all intact. Except for the Sixx, and so is Tommy Lee. Like, they're all intact.
Except for the, well, the guy, the reason why that they,
Mick Mars, the guy that has some sort of weird disease,
which is why Molly Crew isn't around anymore for the most part.
But we'll get to them later.
Oh, yeah.
That was the one that you stole from me.
Oh, yeah.
I love that song so much.
Well, I gave you one back in return.
I love that one so much.
So Scott here, like, we're both Stone Temple Pilot fans.
I've seen him a few times.
Would you put him on your
um
shit.
Mount Rushmore? Mount Rushmore, yes.
But you only have four people for Mount Rushmore? Yes.
No.
Chris Cornell and Ed Vedder and Kurt Cobain
are all up there. I'd put Lane Staley as my
four. Oh, good one. Who was yours? I would put Kurt. I'd put Chris Cornell and Ed Vedder and Kurt Cobain are all up there. I'd put Layne Staley as my four. Oh, good one.
Who was yours?
I would put Kurt.
I'd put Chris Cornell.
I'd put Scott.
Oh.
He's good, though.
Who else would I put?
If I have 10, like, if I can build a new Mount Rushmore of 10 people, I'd say him.
Who else would I?
That's hard, isn't it?
So hard.
If you're looking for, like, that genre. Gavin Rosdell. No, don't it? So hard. If you're looking for that genre...
Gavin Rosdell.
No, don't joke.
I love Bush.
I didn't like Bush back then.
You know what?
I'd probably go with you.
I'd probably put...
Lane?
I'd probably put...
You know what?
Fuck it.
I'll put Lane on there.
You mentioned Gavin Rosdell.
16 Stone. I used to play NHL on the Nintendo, the 16-bit Nintendo. I played put Lane on there. You mentioned Gavin Rossdale. 16 Stone.
I used to play NHL on the Nintendo,
the 16-bit Nintendo.
I played NHL, whatever,
95 or whatever it was.
And I would blast 16 Stone.
Those songs are like
fucking tattooed in my head.
I love them.
That was when they were Bush X.
Well, yeah.
The funny thing is
they were Bush before they were Bush X,
and then they became Bush again.
But I bought my copy
when they were Bush, and then they were Bush X. i thought oh this is cool man i kind of miss bush
but then they became bush and it made my like bush like um like use like worthless so weirdly
enough bush and alice in chains were two bands that i did not like in the 90s but i have grown
to really enjoy um now there's a you You know how Much Music would do their countdown
for the end of the year countdown?
But they did a best of all time thing,
but it was voted on by listeners.
And those things are so tainted by recency bias.
And I remember, what was the lead single
off the follow-up album?
Swallowed.
Yeah, yeah, great song.
That was the number one song of all time
on a much music countdown chart.
And I was thinking, oh my, because it had only come out
a month before, and I was like,
the recency bias is like, give me a break.
Look at you trying to apply science
to this fucking viewer-voted
countdown.
Never leave anything as important
as that in the hands of the common person.
This is awkward.
Give me that lighter, Elvis.
This was on my honorable mention, wasn't it?
Yep.
Want to sing with me?
We both lie silently still in the dead of the night.
So great.
I saw these guys at the Molson Amphitheater.
We're a few miles apart inside.
With that flubber.
Was it something I said or something I did?
With my old roommate, Mandy.
Did my words not come out right?
Is that a woman?
Yes.
You had a female roommate.
Yeah, three of us lived together.
Two guys.
Oh, like Jack Tripper.
Yes, but it was a guy and two girls.
It was two guys and a girl.
So good.
So bad.
It's so good.
Every night has its dawn.
Remember when Bret Michaels was everyone's,
of like America's sweetheart after The Apprentice?
No, but I do remember when girls in my high school
thought he was the hottest guy on the planet.
Oh, yeah.
Guitar.
Can you name the members of Poison?
That was before he had to wear the headband
because he was bald.
He just wore the headband because he was... Other than Bret Michaels, can you name the members of Poison? That was before he had to wear the headband because he was bald. He just wore the headband because he was...
Okay, other than Brett Michaels, can you name the members of Poison?
Iggy.
Iggy.
No, you're thinking of Izzy Stradlin on Guns N' Roses?
No.
Doesn't the guitar player have a weird funny name?
CeCe DeVille.
CeCe DeVille.
That's what it is.
Can you name anyone else?
I don't think so.
Bobby Dahl.
Do you remember Bobby Dahl?
Yes, I do.
I remember all these guys, yes.
And give me a second.
Who else?
Bobby Dahl.
Ricky Rocket.
I loved how they...
Do you remember Ricky Rocket?
Yes.
I loved how they spelled their name on the album cover, too.
And do you remember, this is the era, because just before Grunge, I was all in on these
kind of bands.
Oh, yeah.
This is Guns N' Roses, Def Leppard, Poison, Bon Jovi, all these guys, right?
Yeah, and a bunch of them are going to come up in our fucking power ballad.
They're all going to come up.
Yeah.
This is the power ballad era.
Cinderella.
Cinderella, amazing.
But they all wore so much makeup.
Yeah, makeup and the big hair and the outfits.
But eyeliner and like...
So great.
That's kind of funny when you look back.
There was a
time when your most macho guys wore the most eyeshadow yeah it's great i can feel so much pain
nice lyrics in this song
and this is the kind of music i can't remember if it's this song or whatever,
when he'll say, he'll literally say,
guitar, and then the good guy will do the solo.
All these songs have solos.
Songs don't really have solos anymore.
They don't.
They don't.
But you can't hear anything resembling this anymore
on Top 40 Radio.
Well, even if you could, I wouldn't,
because I don't listen to it.
But one thing, I don't know if you've seen me recently, but I've tweeted embarrassingly so't because i don't listen to it um but one thing i don't know
if you've seen me recently but i've tweeted embarrassingly so but i don't fucking care
i know i'm late to the party let's let brett take over here for a second okay
i know i could have said hello that night if I'd have known what to say.
Instead of making love, we both made a series.
And now I can't find somebody new.
And that I never meant that much to you.
To hear that tears go up inside.
To see you cut me like a knife.
So great.
It's a sing-along, man.
You can't play this and not sing along, right?
I've recently discovered, I know I'm late to the game here, Greta Van Fleet.
And I have to say that I love the band.
And it's probably the only band
in the 2000s outside
of the Foo Fighters
that I've really loved.
But that would include
the Killers and White Stripes.
Killers, White Stripes, all that stuff
I've enjoyed, but I can't
say that I've ever listened to an album all the way through.
What about Arcade Fire? Never been motivated to listen
to an album all the way through. What about Arcade Fire? Never been motivated to listen to an album all the way through.
But I could probably sing along to every Greta Van Fleet song on their latest album.
Well, then you're in Oshawa.
You're listening to a lot of The Rock.
They play that in The Rock.
It has nothing to do with where I am.
Shout out to Bob Willett.
The Rock is a good station.
I've been there.
I've recorded commercials there, actually.
Because earlier I mentioned Durham College because I went there to speak to media students.
After I left them, I head over to the airport.
Yes, that's where it is.
To visit, I went on Bingo Bob Show.
Oh, nice.
Cool.
Yeah, I recorded a bunch of promo commercials
for Lake Ridge Hills there.
Wait, you're the voiceover guy or what?
You're the producer?
No, no, no.
Yeah, they wanted me to,
my voice was part of a Lake Ridge Health campaign.
But how did they...
Is that because they heard you on something?
Because I'm Cancer Boy and they were like,
hey, can you be a voice for our campaign?
Can you send me a copy for your next visit?
I don't even think I have a copy.
I want to hear that.
I'll ask.
Cancer Boy.
Oh, yeah, like Kids in the Hall.
I remember that.
All right, let's kick out another power ballad.
So this one's mine now?
Yeah.
Can you whistle along to this?
This is so great.
German band.
I didn't think I knew that.
Yeah.
Because this is about, they're a German band.
I believe they're a German band anyway,
but this is about the fall of the Berlin Wall.
This was like 1989
or something like that.
When the Berlin Wall fell, yes. August summer night
Soldiers passing by
Listening to the wind of change
So great.
Yeah, they're a German rock band formed in 1965.
Unbelievable. Closing in Did you ever think That we could be so close
Like brothers
The future's in the air
Can feel it everywhere
I'm blowing with the wind
Of change So good, Mike.
I love this.
I think your first two jams might surprise.
I don't know if this would surprise people,
but it's not from the,
you said this is from the late 80s?
Is that right?
Well, the band has been around since 65.
That's surprising to me.
It's crazy, right?
But this song,
1990.
That makes sense.
It is a symbolic anthem of the political changes in Eastern Europe in the late 80s and early 90s in the fall of the Berlin Wall.
It is one of the best-selling singles in the world
with over 14 million copies sold.
And the Scorpions themselves have sold over 110 million records.
18 studio albums.
Did you know that?
What's their big hit again?
Remind me.
They had a big hit, right?
Yeah.
What is the other one?
Shit.
Rocky Like a Hurricane.
Right.
I get my Scorpions and my Wasp and all those bands have similar names always,
but okay, good stuff.
This song is similar to my third jam in a way,
like when we get to my third jam.
Was it difficult?
Was it surprising that this was on it for you?
Well, I mean, it's...
I don't know why I thought I was a bit surprised.
I don't know.
Because I was a tiny bit surprised by this one,
but none of your other...
Oh, the Felden Revolver surprised me too.
I felt it was rather modern,
even though modern means like 10 years old or something.
But the rest...
I feel like what I didn't put on would have surprised you more
because i'm looking at my list now well you had okay so you're the next three are pretty
predictable i would say yes agreed right agreed yes the other three are like go to like uh power
ballad when so when you presented this idea i immediately immediately thought, okay, what songs did I want to dance to a girl with in grade eight?
And the only one that didn't fit on this sort of the idea of a power ballad would be Starry Way to Heaven.
But that was always the go-to pick because it was the longest song.
You know what was a big one in grade eight?
Like for that would be Lady in Red by Chris DeBruyne.
That's not a power ballad.
It's also weird when she's not wearing red.
That's just a ballad. Like've got to have a power aspect.
Right. There's no guitar solo or anything like that.
I had Every Rose Has Its Thorn
as one of my
honorable mentions.
The next one I play was one of yours.
It would have been one of yours
if I didn't steal it, I guess.
We'll let the scorpions
wind down, wind of change.
It's painful, really.
Here we go. Big finish here.
Although I can't remember the finish. Oh, it's the opposite of a big finish.
Hold on.
This song was massive in Poland, I think.
Did you know that Rolling Stone described the Scorpions
as the heroes of heavy metal?
And then MTV called them the ambassadors of rock?
It's amazing how much time plays perspective.
Dude, this song...
But I had a decision to make.
Guess what decision I had to make?
Which song you were going to...
Which version?
Okay, because this song has two big versions.
The original and the 91 remix,
which is the one I always go to.
And this is the 91 remastered version or whatever.
Seems faster.
We should compare.
I should compare the two versions.
In a future episode, we'll play them both together.
And it seems like the piano's louder. I'm on the way, home sweet home.
Tonight, tonight, I'm on the way.
I'm on the way, home sweet home.
Reminds me of what Aerosmith did with Sweet Emotion.
Like they had their original and then they did the same thing. They remastered or remixed
or whatever.
Motley Crue, man.
Love Motley Crue.
Oh, yeah.
Love Motley Crue.
They were great.
And I remember when I picked up
Dr. Feelgood
and every song was like a hit,
like a radio hit.
Do you remember the
Heavy Metal Magazine Circus?
Vaguely.
Like I feel like I've seen it.
I don't remember buying it.
I can't remember how old I was.
If I was double digits, just barely.
But I remember
there was an interview in there
with Nikki Sixx.
Right. And he said the F word
numerous times in the interview.
And I immediately fell in love with him
because I just thought he was the coolest person
ever. Because not only did he swear,
but the magazine was cool for putting it in the magazine.
Right.
And it was certainly influential
because I have made very good use of that word
over my lifetime.
This is like of all the Motley,
this is the most like power ballad.
Oh yeah.
The greatest power ballad
in Motley Crue.
Usually everything else
is like just in your face
at that time,
in your face metal.
Kickstart my heart
and like.
Feel good,
like crazy guitar,
crazy drums.
And remember,
don't go away mad,
just go away.
And sugar sweet
or something.
It's too bad
Vince Neil can't sing anymore.
That is too bad.
I didn't even know if I knew that.
Well, he can't sing because he, I mean, he can sing.
He just can't sing like he used to.
You know how like Axl can sing kind of in spurts?
Vince just doesn't have the ability to go up that high anymore.
Like that.
Like how does a guy sing that?
Listen to that.
So great.
This is the cuddly part of the song.
Get in real close.
It kind of reminds me of Every Rose
in that they have this, it's like stripped down
and it's just a nice little ballad.
This is where you put the moves on.
What a great jam this is, man.
So, so far, to recap,
you've got Velvet Revolver and Scorpions.
We're about to play your third jam.
I've got Poison and Motley Crue.
That's good shit.
I'm getting boner.
I can see that.
Recent Hall of Fame inductees.
This was a big album.
Hysteria. Oh my god.
This is an album
where I had to re-buy the tape.
I played the tape so much it broke.
Playthrough. I remember this being a playthrough album.
Absolutely. Every song.
Every song. And I always remember what bands
did back then. I don't know if you recall
they always started with the rocker. Like a heavyer these guys started with uh pour some sugar on me and
then the follow-up single was the power ballad like this was like a formula do you remember this
yes so this was like the follow-up single and then they had a million other singles like rocket
and all these different things now these guys the the knock against these guys is that it took them
forever to be able to write songs.
And so there were significant periods of time in between each release because they just were such slow writers.
Because the guy only had one arm, it took a long time to get them.
This guy invented a whole new way of drumming because he has one arm.
It's amazing.
Good on them for not firing their drummer because he only had one arm.
Honestly, that was the most diverse. It's amazing. Good on them for not firing their drummer because he only had one arm. Honestly, that was the most diverse friendly band.
The Differently Abled can drum for Def Leppard.
Drunk driving accident, right?
Something like that.
In England.
Sounds about right.
And I remember as a young, influential teenager,
like, the song was so sexual.
I was like, this is the greatest.
I've said many times,
I was big on the top 10 of 10 on
Q107, or Shirley McQueen,
or whoever was doing it.
This was on there for the longest time,
but this is that heyday of like when Appetite for
Destruction stuff was all over, and you mentioned
Cinderella, and remember Rat?
Yeah.
Rat.
Two teeth.
Two teeth.
But this, oh man.
Sticks.
And Aerosmith too, by the way, with Pump and stuff like that.
Big time.
Permanent Vacation.
Permanent Vacation, yeah.
And then...
Shit.
What was the Living on the Edge album?
The one with the cows that are...
Bull?
No, it's not Bull.
It's another one.
Shit, what was that?
That album was a real huge album.
See, the huge one to me was...
That was crazy and amazing.
Yes, the videos were huge.
But to me, the biggest album was Pump.
Yeah, Pump was...
Because that was a playthrough.
Pump is another playthrough.
You're right.
Same with Permanent.
Don't know what it takes to let you go. Permanent Vacation was another playthrough album for me. Because that was a playthrough. Pump is another playthrough. You're right. Same with Permanent. Don't know what it takes to let you go.
Permanent Vacation was another playthrough album for me.
Because that dude looks like a lady.
Sweet Emotion.
Angel.
That's, you know, shit.
Sweet Emotion's not on that.
Shit.
You're right.
You're right.
Angel, dude.
That should have been on my list.
What a fucking great song.
Too late. Next time.
Ah, what a great song that is.
A lot of great Angel songs.
We could have done a whole favorite Angel of great angel songs. We could have done
a whole favorite angel song.
We could, we could.
Oh man,
I have a raging bone in me.
I was like,
I can't wait
until I have the opportunity
to actually touch a woman.
And now they're singing about it.
Lucky bastards. Lucky bastard.
Did Mrs. Elvis
let you touch her?
We're not talking about that.
Only three times.
Also, these power ballads were long
for radio songs.
I'm looking over.
You've got me in this two and a half fucking minutes left.
I've got my film.
Yeah, there was a lot.
Because they always had to do stuff like this.
What a different time this was.
But this was our time, man.
I love it.
I love it.
What are you now, 42?
What are you?
This is the nostalgia I can get into.
Okay.
42.
42, okay.
You talk music.
I could
talk music, old music,
forever.
Your name is Elvis. I pretty much live
in this space now, too.
1957. I have a subscription to Sirius
and all I listen to is Howard
and Channel 34,
which is lithium.
Occasionally, I'll go to Alt Nation or a couple of other rock stations it, which is lithium. Occasionally I'll go to alt nation or,
you know,
a couple of other rock stations,
but it's lithium channel 34.
Whenever I borrow one of those cars,
cause you know,
all the free stuff I get,
uh,
I listened to a lot of lithium too,
man.
It's the best.
So I saw these guys in concert once I took Monica.
This is a make-out concert.
Yeah, we made out the whole fucking time.
How do you think Jarvis showed up?
Yeah, such a make-out concert.
But the opener was Hart.
Hart, oh.
But you saw Poison open.
Is that right?
I can't remember who opened for who,
but yeah, it was Poison and Def Leppard.
It's got to be Poison opening for Def Leppard, right?
You think, right?
I think so.
I saw Stone Temple Pilots as an opening act twice.
Wow.
And Scott never felt happy with it.
Like, he seemed disgruntled he was the opener.
But I saw them open for Red Hot Chili Peppers.
Okay.
And then I saw them open for Linkin Park.
Oh, God.
And Scott never seen, I don't think he ever.
Do you remember when Chili Peppers were huge?
Yeah.
I saw them.
Blood Sugar, Sex Magic, and then
the Californication video when it was
Beavis and Butthead, remember?
Well, that's two different videos. Californication wasn't...
Californication album, wasn't it?
No, they did Roller Coaster.
Right, yes. That's what it was.
Got huge airplay on much music.
Californication album, which had, of course,
the big... It was a comeback,
Ska Tissue,
that I wish you so
sarcastic,
Mr. Know It.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
That's one of the bands
that I loved
and can't listen to anymore.
It's a very short list,
but bands I loved
at one point.
You can't listen
to Chili Peppers anymore?
The sound bores me now.
Oh, really?
I don't know what happened.
Yeah.
And if I do listen
to Red Chili Peppers, it has to be Mother's Milk. I don't know what happened. And if I do listen to Red Chili Peppers,
it has to be Mother's Milk.
Like I can't even do Blood Sugar Second.
I guess I OD'd on it,
but I go back to,
there's some fun songs on Mother's Milk
that I still dig.
I still love that album cover, man.
Woo!
But I can't even go and do the hits and stuff.
Interesting.
Okay.
Let me kick out another jam.
This one might surprise you.
Let's see.
I like the fact that I know your jams,
but you don't know mine.
I don't know yours.
No, it's...
So that was mine, right?
You are the love bites man, of course.
That's why you had the raging heart on there.
Now, does Elvis even know my jam?
Let's see.
Not yet.
I should.
I feel embarrassed.
No, stick it out.
Let's see what happens.
Little child, dry your crying eyes. Wow, this is surprising.
I haven't heard this song in...
Probably since it came out.
You can blame Q107 for my love of this song.
Listen to those lyrics, Elvis.
It's not very good, Mike.
Too early.
Wait till at least after the chorus.
We'll come back.
But this one came up when you took one of my five. I promoted this one. Little child This is When the Children Cry, White Lion. And it was played on Top 10 of 10 for a while. And I used to sing along, top of my lungs, man.
And I know no one talks about this song anymore.
What is White Lion up to these days?
I don't know.
Let me check the internet machine.
Find out.
I don't know much about them.
I'm not sure I could name another song, actually, from White Lion.
They were Danish-American.
When the children cry, let them know we tried.
Because when the children sing, then the new world begins.
There it is.
Guitar solo.
Holy shit.
Talk to me.
There's like a massively long list of past members of this band.
Look at this.
It's crazy.
Oh my God.
There's probably two dozen people in here.
A lot of turnover in that enterprise.
So they were active from 83 to 92 and then reformed in 99 and went until 2013.
Oh, that's the nostalgia period.
Yeah. Capitalizing.
Did they have any other hits? Their last album
was in 2008. They had
another hit, Wait.
That might make... I have to remind
myself. When the Children Cry is from
their second album, which went double platinum, called Pride.
Oh, because they're lions.
See?
A group of lions is a pride.
Very clever.
Did you hear that instrumentation there?
Remind me to tell you about my favorite Christmas song.
Okay, because my favorite Christmas song has fallen under fire for being homophobic.
Oh, really?
Tell me yours.
Oh, you want me to tell you?
Yeah, go ahead.
White line's wrapping up.
I'm still Googling it, so I have it right.
Is it Baby, It's Cold Outside?
No.
No.
Is that yours?
No.
That's not homophobic.
Oh, yeah.
That's right.
That's rapey.
Rapey.
Cosby ruined that one, I think.
So, do you remember Band-Aid?
Of course.
Remember?
Do they know it's Christmas?
Do they know it's Christmas?
Yeah.
This sums up to me what Christmas really means.
Where the water, where the only water flowing is the bitter sting of tears,
and the Christmas bells that ring, there are clanging chimes of doom.
Well, tonight, thank God,
it's them instead of you.
That's pretty much Christmas right there.
You're welcome, everybody.
That's what you're celebrating, assholes.
Bob Geldof is saying something there.
That's what you're celebrating, assholes.
I don't like Mondays.
Same guy.
He actually adopted the child of,
speaking of great frontmen for rock bands,
I don't know if we were talking about that or not,
Michael Hutchins' kid, Tiger Lily.
Oh, really?
Yeah, yeah.
Because Bob Geldof's ex had that baby with Hutchins.
Oh, I did not know that.
And I think both parents passed away, sadly,
and I think raised by Bob Geldof, I think.
Oh, cool.
Yeah, band-aid.
Good for him.
It's the feel-good song.
When you hear that, you feel good about everything.
For sure.
You ready for your next jam?
Yeah, let's hit it.
Oh yeah, these ballads
are fucking long.
Yeah, dude.
Also
Hall of Famers.
And also Air Canada Center.
Yeah, that's right.
You are of Italian descent.
Don't you have to like this band?
Because all the Italians in my high school
worship this guy.
Dude, Slippery When Wet.
That's in tape that I wore through.
1987, I think.
Wore right through.
That was the first album I ever received as a present
that was not like a cheesy Sharon Lewis and Bran album or something.
Not that there's anything wrong with Sharon Lewis and Bran.
No, but that's different.
It's definitely Rafi.
This was grade five, given to me by Paul Cooch.
Slippery When Wet.
Johnny used to work on the docks.
This is obviously not from Slippery When Wet, but Von Johnny.
No, you're right.
Slippery When Wet has a couple of monster hits, though.
You Give Love a Bad Name was a big one, right?
Living on a Prayer.
Living on a Prayer.
No.
Yeah.
Is that from Slippery When Wet?
Yeah.
Those two, because I remember I played that cassette a lot too.
And I have a better memory than you do.
You do.
Those two songs were the pillars of Slippery When Wet.
This is a sing-along too.
Speaking of guys, like I mentioned earlier that girls loved, you know,
Bret Michaels, right?
But girls fucking loved, and maybe they still do.
They still do, baby.
Jon Bon Jovi.
Oh.
Good looking guy, right?
He is a handsome fellow.
He very much is.
Even with the short hair.
You don't need him in the long hair.
Well, he doesn't.
It's not super short. Oh. Even with the short hair. You don't need him in the long hair. Well, he doesn't. It's not super short.
Oh.
Bongiovi.
Yeah.
Bongiovi, of course, is his real name.
Right.
Look at that.
I mean, is that?
Oh, he's handsome, yeah.
What year is that picture from?
2009.
See, that's a long time ago.
He has more.
He's more white hair now.
Do you know it was nine years ago?
We changed a lot in nine years. Do you want me to show you a picture of me from nine years ago?
No
What, did you really want to?
Yeah, here, look at this
So have you looked up Slippery When Wet yet?
Yes, you're right
There was four singles from that song
But interestingly enough
He is one of the few that is married to
Has been married to that has been married
to the same woman um he's only been married once in like stan lee married in 1989 but we never
talked about stanley he didn't he was married to the same woman for something like 65 years or
something so the singles from slippery when wet where you give love a bad name yep living on a
prayer yep wanted dead or alive. All right.
That's a big one too.
Never say goodbye.
I don't remember never say goodbye.
How did it go?
Sing it to me.
Nice try.
Those first three though
are like on the pantheon.
They're like monster hits.
12 times platinum, that album.
I forgot.
Yeah, wanted dead or alive, of course,
from Young Guns, right?
Was that on Young Guns?
He was in Young Guns, right?
He was, yes.
Do you know Tom Cruise was in Young Guns as one of the people shot or something?
Was he?
Like an extra, yeah.
Tom Cruise.
Chico Torres.
Is this...
So great.
Who is it?
Is this Rachel?
No, that's another band.
Who's guitarist again?
Richie Sambora.
Richie Sambora, right.
He was married to Heather Locklear. Correct. But Richie Sambora. Richie Sambora, right. He was married to Heather Locklear.
Correct.
But Richie Sambora is no longer in the band.
Is that right?
How come?
He, I don't know if he quit or was fired, but for...
Oh, right, because this is the band where he owns the band and he hires these guys as
his employees.
Yeah, Bon Jovi is like the...
He's the owner of Bon Jovi.
He hires these guys.
They're not partners in the band.
Chico Torres has got to be. They're not partners in the band. Chico Torres
has got to be.
He's been there
since day one.
No,
I saw 60 Minutes
about this
where they had John
and they explained it.
So he's like the CEO,
owner and CEO
or whatever
and he hires the other guys
and pays them a salary
to be in Bon Jovi
but they don't have any like.
That's like
Maroon 5 does that.
All the,
yeah,
any front man
who can leverage that does it because it's so lucrative
for them but uh yeah and unlike you know a band like a typical band like sloan for example
four guys with equal 25 stakes in the band right right right well and sloan they all write and
produce yeah they're like the beatles those guys uh we had that chat at the phoenix they all take
turns singing and writing yeah Which is really cool.
Which also could be why they never
got super
famous because they don't have a singular style.
Right? A lot of the
songs are
so different from one another which makes them so
great but at the same time perhaps
produces a challenge when it comes to
marketing the band.
Right?
Possibly, my friend. Possibly.
We'll finish up big here with Bon Jovi,
and then we'll go into my fourth jam.
I remember listening to this song and counting out the words on my fingers.
All?
That's kind of two words, right? I will.
I'll be there
for you.
You count all? You count it as one word?
Is that right? I don't know. I'm an English major,
but I feel it's two. I don't know.
It's a compound word. No, it's not compound.
A conjecture?
I don't know. You're the English major.
I know. It's a long time, brother.
You ready? Now I work't know. You're the English major. I know. It's a long time, brother. You ready?
So good.
Now I work in porn.
You ready?
Yeah.
All right.
Three more left.
This is going to be a three-hour episode.
No, three songs in total remaining.
You got a picture of your house
And you're standing by the door
It's black and white and faded
It's a good song. It's look and white and faded It's looking pretty warm
I want a lighter, man. Do you have a fucking lighter on you?
No.
Just a boner.
I told you I could see that.
That's what she said.
And they're really coming back
I don't need
to be a king
of the world I thought he was going to be like Superman there. I forgot my lyrics.
I thought he was going to be like Superman there.
As long as I'm the hero of this little girl
Heaven isn't too far away
Sing it, Mike.
Closer to it ever
be day.
It's a good one.
No matter what your
friends might say.
But these guys nailed that formula
I talked about earlier with your first song, and so does
your next band, by the way. So this band
here, and again, my memory's pretty damn
good. It's not Mary Lou Henner good, but it's's pretty good and i can tell you their first single was cherry pie
a rocking number what a fucking big hit who's this guy warrant is the band if you're gonna
download their wonderful catalog of music both songs Pie. Cherry Pie, big fucking hit, right? And they follow it up with this little ditty, Heaven.
And oh, this ballad was played all the time.
But this is what bands did.
In the next band we played, they did it.
But you put out the heavy number and you follow up with this.
Heaven isn't too far away.
Lost into it every day. And then guitar solo.
You could paint by numbers, man.
This is another look at all the past ex-members as well.
It's crazy.
Who's the lead guy again from Warrant?
What's his name again?
If you scroll up, won't you see?
Aren't you on the paint?
Yeah, yeah.
I'm looking.
Hold on.
I can see him now.
Another guy, lots of makeup.
Eric Turner?
Adam Shore?
I don't know who it is.
I never really used any of these guys. There's a face of this band, because you'll see him pop up on? I don't know who it is.
I never really used any of these guys. There's a face of this band,
because you'll see them pop up on, I don't know,
VH1 behind the musics and all these things.
Robert, no.
That's old guys. No one really cares I don't know what to do
But I'm never giving up on you
Listen to that, man.
It's Adam Shore.
Or Janie Lane.
Yes, that's it.
Janie Lane.
That's it, yeah.
That's it.
That's it.
There's so many members
that it's hard to figure out
who's the first one.
But without him,
you don't have a warrant.
Like, he's the,
you gotta have him.
And then you can, sort of like Axl one. But without him, you don't have a warrant. You've got to have him. He's dead.
Do you know that?
Can't be. It must be someone's girlfriend.
Janie Lane is dead. Died in 2001.
2011, excuse me.
Is that...
Alcohol poisoning.
What?
Yeah.
I need a moment here.
Oh, my.
Yeah, he's fucking dead.
Janie Lane.
Yeah, man.
I told you.
86 to 93.
He wrote all of the band's material,
including four top 40 hits.
Down Boy, Sometimes She Cries, Big Talk, and Heaven.
Yeah.
We got to pour one out for him.
And then he also wrote Cherry Pie, I Saw Red,
Uncle Tom's Cabin, Blind Faith.
Okay, now I was going to say,
with those two songs, Cherry Pie and Heaven,
they could tour all over for idiots. It's not necessarily Mr. for nostalgia uh elvis but a lot of guys our age would go just to kind of
like i don't know be a teenager again or something and like you know what i mean there's that's so
big right now well they just were part of the louder harder faster tour in 2017 so warrant is
still rocking your song i'm gonna play it right now. I can't
wait because I remember this album
and this song was like
the ballad on an otherwise
pretty heavy rocking album. Dude, if
you listen to this band, none
of their songs sound like this. No.
You're right. And a lot of people
probably bought that album based on
this and then were like, what the fuck is that?
And we'll talk about that. We'll get it going.
This is the one that was also on my list.
Great video too.
Future lead singer of Van Halen.
That's right.
One other jam might compare to this, Wholehearted maybe.
That was kind of...
Do you think?
Less rocky.
Maybe, yeah. It's not that I want to Not to say
But if you only knew
How easy
It would be to show me
How you feel
More than words
Is all you have to do
To make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say
That you love me
Cause I'd already known
What would you do
Elvis inspired choice.
This is great.
I love this song so much.
You might not even remember this single
ahead of this breakthrough hit for these guys,
More Than Words.
Do you remember He-Man, Woman- Hater? Does that mean anything to you?
I'd have to hear the song.
I don't know. I remember hearing
He-Man Woman Hater on the radio.
It came off this album.
It was just like a
balls... Oh, you know what else? I just remembered.
You remember Get the Funk Out?
Yes. That was before this too.
That's right.
Which was sort of Red Hot Chili Pepper-esque maybe, Get the Funk Out? Yes, yes. That was before this too. That's right. Which was sort of Red Hot Chili Pepper-esque maybe, Get the Funk Out.
Anyway, this ballad came out of nowhere and was like a blockbuster.
It was everywhere.
For a long time, I just read, for a long time,
they wanted to distance themselves from this song.
Because it's so different and that's all that,
for a lot of people, that's all they wanted to hear.
Like they'd have to close every concert with this.
Right, but now they've eventually gone,
they now play this at every show.
Can you imagine paying to see Extreme
and they don't play this song?
Although I felt Sloan left a lot of big stuff on the show.
Yeah, but Sloan has a lot of them.
But I wanted Underwhelmed and I didn't get Underwhelmed.
I don't understand.
All you have to do is close your eyes and just reach out.
Do you remember the song More Than Words from Alias?
Does that mean anything?
It was the number one hit by a...
Do you remember the band Sheriff?
Do you remember...
No.
Do you remember Frozen Ghost?
No.
Do any of these bands mean anything to you?
All right. So Frozen Ghost had a lot of hits of these bands have anything to do? All right.
So Frozen Ghost had a lot of hits.
I love their cassette too.
Canadian band.
But he was also in a band called Sheriff and a band called Alias.
And Alias had a song called More Than Words,
which went to number one on the Billboard 100.
And it was a very rare example at the time of a Canadian act hitting number one.
But all this is to say that I remember when this song came out,
I remember thinking, oh, how can they use that name?
Alias already has a song.
But no one cared, except me.
Anyway.
Does a song title matter, though?
I guess not.
Because as we mentioned, there's a million songs with the name Angel.
Right.
More than words to show you fear.
Next time you come over over we'll do favorite songs
that have the same name
because there's a lot of songs with the name Jump
I can think of
like four or five on the top of my head
and there's a few songs I love that are called
Sunday Morning
Sunday
great No Doubt song
yes great No Doubt song it's a great chaos song
and it's a great...
What's Lou Reed's band called?
New York.
So we just did the episode.
No, there's more.
We're going to do it one day.
We could do perhaps Day of the Week.
The song has to mention a day of the week.
Sunday might be a little bit too restrictive.
What is the Lou Reed band with Nico,
the New York band from the 70s?
I almost called them Violent Femmes,
but they're not Violent Femmes,
and they're not Velvet Revolver.
They are...
Oh, Velvet Underground.
Velvet Underground, yeah. I almost called them Violent Fem Underground. Velvet Underground, yeah.
That was called the Violent Band.
Velvet Underground have a Sunday morning.
That's really nice.
I'm glad you're here to be my official Googler.
You should come on every episode.
Listen to that.
It's almost just a ballad.
I almost have to take the word power out of this,
except there are other songs that are so powerful.
It's much better than Mr. Big
because that came out at a similar time.
I thought of putting that on my list.
Was it on your short list?
It wasn't on my short list, no.
Hold on to your girl.
Yeah, I like that song.
Yeah, it's similar to this one.
Oh, this is a weird ending. I'm not even letting. Oh, this is a weird ending.
I'm not even letting Extreme finish.
This is a weird ending.
Oh, I see what you did.
Look at you.
DJ's starting from scratch.
Do you know this song, Elvis?
Of course.
Great song.
It's really, it's power ballad.
Like in the truest sense of the form.
Like Extreme, I'm not sure it was a power ballad.
Or just a rock band playing a ballady song.
But this has all the elements of a power ballad song.
The shouting, just the instruments.
Not letters in the sand.
So this is Johan Sebastian Bach.
No, it's just Sebastian Bach.
Isn't he from Pickering or something? Yeah.
Peterborough. Peterborough, that's it.
Peterborough. Yeah, he came up recently.
Yes, he's from Peterborough. He's it. Peterborough. Yeah, he came up recently. Yes, he's from Peterborough.
He is part of
I think the only time
Howard Stern
interviewed Axl Rose.
He used to call into Howard Stern's
Howard Stern show a lot.
Sebastian Bach.
And he happened to have been partying
with Axl Rose that night. Right, because
they were buds. And Axl
came on the phone and talked to Howard
very briefly while
I think they were probably both high
or drunk or something. Early in the morning.
Had been up all night.
What is he doing now?
I saw him in a movie recently.
How does a guy from Peterborough
become as big as he was?
This album, Skid Row,
I think it was self-titled.
18 in Life.
I Remember You, which we're listening to now.
You remember Youth Gone Wild.
Three monster singles came off this thing.
They were a big fucking deal.
I think maybe Sebastian Bach
was the only Canadian in the band.
Did you know he was born in the Bahamas?
Oh.
Yeah.
Just like Ron McClane was born in Germany.
But this is a great jam,
a great album.
Love Skid Row,
especially this album.
And what did I want to say?
Oh, yeah.
Do you remember that movie
Rock of Ages?
Yes.
With Tom Cruise
and many others.
He's in that briefly.
Like I saw him like recently
I watched this on TV
and he was in there
and I'm like,
oh, fuck, that's Sebastian Bach.
So I don't know what he's up to.
I'm sure he still like performs
his hits and shit.
He was on Broadway.
Right.
What is he doing now?
Doesn't really say.
We're going to close out this episode.
I'm going to close my eyes and rain Washed away, I dream of you
But nothing else could ever take you away
Cause you'll always be my dream come true
Oh, my darling Look at you with a can-con.
Is Skid Row considered can-con?
I don't know.
Or would they fall into the same category?
Remember Brian Adams, they wouldn't give him a Juno
because he was written by a...
Mutt Lang.
Well, Mutt Lang, there was a...
There was a certain percentage...
Non-Canadians had produced it and wrote it.
So dumb.
Yes.
I know.
So I don't know if these guys are CanCon.
But CanCon is the band.
Well, no.
The band is more CanCon than these guys.
Why?
Because...
Robbie Robertson.
Robbie Robertson.
But it's the only guy.
Same as this.
No.
Where's Rick Danko from?
Let me ask
I mean of course
Levon of course
is American
of course
but
I feel like
it's more than
Robbie Robinson
that's Canadian
I love how this says
the origin is
Toronto, Ontario
because of that's because you know that's because of Rock and Ronnie Hawkins I love how this says the origin is Toronto, Ontario.
You know what that's because of?
Rock and Ronnie Hawkins, or Romp and Ronnie Hawkins, that's why.
They were Ronnie Hawkins' band.
And he was based here, even though he's from Arkansas.
He was based here.
Arkansas?
Yeah.
So it all comes back to Ronnie.
Ronnie Hawkins did that. Remember, they were the guys when Bob Dylan went electric.
The band was his band.
Who did you want to know?
Rick Danko.
Rick Danko.
Oh, yeah.
He's from...
So...
Yeah.
What is that noise?
Is that me?
Is that your phone?
Oh, that is so poor.
It's not my phone.
Hold on.
Hold on. It's not my phone. Hold on. Hold on.
It's not my phone.
It was.
It sounded like your phone.
Yeah, except that's not my ringtone.
So I, oh, it's a Google Hangout call.
That's a Google Hangout.
So it's a default sound.
It's not my ringtone.
All right.
Well, yeah.
So Rick Danko is Canadian.
Yeah.
Levon Helm, of course, was not.
Right.
He's from Arkansas.
And then Garth is also Canadian.
Yeah, I think maybe all, but Levon?
Is that possible?
I think they have a much greater claim to...
Richard Manuel is from Stratford.
Holy moly.
I didn't realize this.
Oh, that's a jam.
The weight.
That's a jam right there.
I had no idea that the band was that Canadian.
Yep.
Okay.
So that's more CanCon than Skid Row.
Yeah.
I'm here to educate you.
And I want to say what a fantastic two and a half hours I needed this on Festivus.
Two and a half hours.
Wow.
Great stuff.
We'll see if anyone sticks around for the power balance.
Can you give out your email address for Scott Moore to message me about how much he hates me?
Scott knows how to contact me for sure.
Please.
Scott Moore, thank you for being on the show twice in the last month.
That was pretty cool.
And Elvis, thank you for your criticism.
That was very fair.
Criticism.
Oh, constructive criticism.
They could have done better.
You asked me for my opinion.
You wanted me to listen to it.
Criticism.
I know.
I appreciate it.
All good.
Buddy, happy Festivus.
Good luck with the feats of strength.
Thank you,
Mike.
My money's on Charlie.
I don't know how I make a bet on this,
but my money's on Charlie.
All right.
You know?
Yeah.
Amazing.
And I hope you come back again soon because these episodes are great fun for me.
So they are fun for me too.
Happy Festivus,
Mike.
It's always good to be here.
I love you,
man.
And that brings us to the end of our 413th show.
You can follow me on Twitter.
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And Paytm is at
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See you all next week. Eight years of laughter and eight years of tears. And I don't know what the future can hold or do for me and you.