Toronto Mike'd: The Official Toronto Mike Podcast - Guilty Pleasure Jams: Toronto Mike'd #315
Episode Date: March 17, 2018Mike celebrates St. Patrick's Day with Elvis and some guilty pleasure jams....
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Welcome to episode 315 of Toronto Mic'd, a weekly podcast about anything and everything.
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I'm Mike from torontomike.com,
and joining me this St. Patrick's Day is a hero to most, Elvis.
I'm a big fan of Great Lakes Brewery. Not the brewery, but the brewery.
Say it again.
Brewery.
How do I say it?
Brewery.
Isn't that correct?
You pronounce it like an Italian word where you say every consonant, every letter in a word.
Say it Elvis style again.
Say it like you say it.
Say it again.
Brewery.
Brewery.
You kind of say brewery
like a tourist says Toronto.
You know what's that?
You enunciate,
which I mean,
I don't think it's wrong.
Say our city's name,
my city's name.
Toronto.
Because you'll say Oshawa.
Toronto.
Because I will a little bit. Do you say the second T? I'll sometimes say Oshawa. Toronto. So if I, because I will a little bit.
Do you say the second T?
I'll sometimes say the second T.
Really?
I think this whole like,
oh, real Torontonians
don't pronounce the second T
is just more like nonsense.
Please.
I'll say Toronto.
There is a small,
very, very tiny,
small segment
of the American population now
that does not say Toronto
because I correct them.
And those are the people that I work with. And I say, there are
sort of three ways that you can say it. You can say
it the way you're saying it now, and I'll make fun of you
because you're saying Toronto. You can say it
the way I say it, which is I think the majority of people
say Toronto. And then there's
the like the... Toronto?
Toronto. The real
sort of like... Toronto? Toronto.
I like to say T's.
So when I'm saying words,
I find it fun to go toe.
I find it fun to close on a hard T.
It's amusing to me.
Toe.
Toronto.
Because I like to go hard on the toe.
Isn't it fun to say it that way?
Okay, well, brewery.
I've come a long way.
I've come a very long way.
It's so great.
It's so good.
Oh, dear.
What's the punishment for having your phone on in this podcast?
It's Saturday afternoon, so phones are allowed.
Who calls you on Saturday afternoon?
Who calls anyone?
I get phone calls.
You do?
You don't get phone calls?
No.
I get phone calls.
Usually, it's humble asking me a question about cycling.
So do you pick up the phone if someone calls you?
First of all, I have a special ring for people.
That was the family ring. So I have a special ring for people. That was the family ring.
So I have a special ring.
If it's that ring, I'll always answer it if I can.
I didn't answer that because I'm recording with Elvis.
But that ring, I always answer.
Okay.
The ring for non-family, I look at it.
If I know the person, I'll take it if I can.
If I don't know the person, typically I won't take it.
I took a call today,
earlier today, and the guy was trying to sell me duct services or duct cleaning services.
I shouldn't have answered
that because it was like a 1-877.
I never pick up the phone.
Even when I know the number, a lot of times I don't pick up the phone.
I pick up the phone a lot.
This explains why you don't take my calls.
Well, you're older. You're older than me.
I'm a lot older than you. Different generation.
As I was reading the script at the beginning,
which is getting longer and longer.
Because this entire show is very scripted,
ladies and gentlemen.
I have my notes here as to what I'm going to say.
That part is actually very scripted.
So while I'm reading that,
I was proud of myself that I have mastered
the pronunciation of brewery. I was thinking to myself that I have mastered the pronunciation of brewery.
I had a moment.
I was thinking to myself, Mike, remember you struggled with that word.
And I was like, I'm nailing it now.
And I was feeling really good.
And here I am.
And then you started off by making fun of the way I pronounce it.
Brewery.
That hurts my feelings.
Great Lakes Brewery.
It's a holiday.
Don't stop fucking around here, Elvis.
It's a holiday.
It's St. Paddy's Day.
I only come on holidays now.
Did you notice that?
Yeah.
Because Festivus and then when was I here last time?
You were here on Thanksgiving or something?
Was Festivus the last show I did?
I don't think so.
Was it?
Yeah.
Maybe it is.
Yeah.
Okay.
So yeah.
Then I was.
You came on Easter last year.
Good Friday.
We did a good Friday show.
Are you going to come back?
Sure.
You can do Good Friday. So happy a Good Friday show. Are you going to come back? Sure.
You can do Good Friday.
So happy St. Patrick's Day.
You've already popped it.
What Great Lakes beer are you drinking right now? I am having a Canuck Pale Ale.
Today I joined a Facebook group, which is like the Gordy Levesque Fan Club,
because that's Gordy right there.
So I just today, and I shared something with him.
I shared the picture I took of Gordy Levesque running on the waterfront
when he was training for the marathon.
Oh, very good.
Just today.
So I'm opening up my Lake Effect IPA.
Unlike you, I waited until we were recording.
Yeah, sorry, I was thirsty.
Okay, so let's do this one.
This is 7%, everybody.
What a great noise that is.
Great sound.
7% beer.
Mike is going to be a little tipsy by the end of this.
One sip.
I'm done.
It's fantastic.
He's a lightweight.
I'm a lightweight.
You're obviously your dad.
You've told us about your dad being a proud Italian gentleman.
Yes.
Your mom, is she Irish?
Not really. I think, if anything, is she Irish? Not really.
I think if anything, she would be English and Scottish.
Close.
But everyone's Irish today.
How come Ireland gets this?
Because believe it or not, three-fourths, so 75% of my grandparents came from Ireland.
Oh, look at you.
Happy St. Patrick's Day, Mike.
Yes.
Why do we get this?
I was talking to Monica because her parents came from the Philippines. And I said have an Irish. Yes. Why do we get this? Like you don't have,
I was talking to Monica cause her parents came from the Philippines and I
said,
what's the Filipino equivalent?
Like we have no day where we all get together.
Like today,
everybody's Filipino.
Like that,
that doesn't exist.
Do they have a,
it's like their birthday.
Well,
I asked her what's your independence day.
Correct.
Uh,
and she said,
I don't know.
And she said,
I don't think that's the equivalent.
I said,
well,
that it is like the Americans have July 4th.
Now, a true Irishman would tell you that the Irish don't have a day because Ireland, of course, is not one island.
It's not united.
So they can't celebrate an Independence Day per se.
Well, the Republic of Ireland, that's not part of the UK, is an independent republic.
Correct, but they don't feel that they're whole yet.
I think you're confusing it with Scotland.
Are you talking about the fact that Northern Ireland is not part of Ireland?
Correct.
So a true Irishman or an Irishman who is a Republican would say there is not yet an opportunity to celebrate an Irish day because they're not a united country.
I like this part.
I love it, brother.
I love it, brother.
I would imagine if you were a Quebecois Republican,
you would say that Saint-Jean-Baptiste wouldn't be whole until Quebec is its own country.
Something like that.
We'll celebrate it.
We'll have a good time with it.
But it doesn't have its full meaning until we are free.
And I feel sorry for Scotland.
They've got that Robbie Burns Day.
That's right.
But nobody gives a shit about
Robbie Burns day, right? Like it comes and
goes. Some Scottish people go boil
some sheep's stomach
stuff or what's that called? Haggis? Haggis. And they'll do
whatever. But the majority of us ignore
it completely. I saw a meme today on
Instagram that says, there's a picture of a
guy with a sort of Braveheart
makeup on and it said
today everyone is Irish,
except for the Scottish.
We're still Scottish.
You're still Scottish.
That's great.
This is for you.
What is it?
This is no...
Is this Zamfir?
This is special for you.
Like I loaded this thinking about you.
Oh, I know this song.
Of course, yes.
It is some kind of flute.
Zamfir.
I don't think it's actually Amphir,
but this is a great song, man.
This will make a true Irishman cry every time, too.
Oh, no vocals yet.
Hold on, hold on.
I'm going to have a couple of sips here.
Hold on.
With this, this played for me because I'm Irish, right?
I'm glad you're here.
I was taking a shot in the dark that your mom was Irish,
but I was, oh, I was wrong again.
Hey, you know what?
Everyone's Irish today.
I love the Irish.
I feel like I'm part of Irish.
Which part?
The alcoholic part.
No offense to the Irish.
Oh, there's no vocals.
It'll come in.
There's vocals at some point.
So, okay.
I want to talk to you about a few things off the top.
I have a few items.
And then I should tell everybody listening that eventually we're going to do something super fun.
We're going to play.
We each brought five guilty pleasure jams to the table.
Okay.
And I don't know how you did it, but I thought songs that I would be, that you would not be proud of saying you like.
Like if you were, like not me necessarily, because I don't give a shit.
But the masses might not be celebrating the fact they love this song, because it might not be particularly cool to like this song.
Correct.
You know what I mean?
And it was also, I gave five.
The first four came to me like that.
Like it was very quick.
I think it's vocals now.
What version did I get?
Clearly an instrumental.
I thought I got,
I'm so ashamed of my work here.
Okay, I'll fade it down.
If the vocals come in,
I thought this was something special for you,
but I think I effed up.
So I apologize.
Do you watch March Madness at all?
No.
I don't care. so i've watched a
lot of march madness and last night yeah last night all of it well not the two little ones
they were in bed everyone what else was who the four of us uh the teenagers and monica and i we
watched virginia yes okay yes so okay there's a team i never heard of them until yesterday
umbc which is part of the problem with me and the tournament is that I have no affiliation with the majority of the teams, all the teams.
And a strong majority of them, I've never heard of them.
So I have no connection to anybody.
I root for buzzer beaters.
I basically root for close games or Cinderella stories like which we had last night.
So, yeah.
Okay.
So UMBC, which is University of Maryland, Baltimore County, where Carly Agro went.
Do you know Carly Agro went there?
No, I don't even know who that is.
Do I know who that is?
She's a former guest of Toronto Mic'd.
You didn't listen to the Carly Agro?
I don't know.
She's a Sportsnet personality.
Oh, no.
I don't know.
I thought you would know Carly Agro.
Her sister on Marketplace, CBC's Marketplace, her twin, Charles C.
Okay, you don't know Carly Agro.
Okay, so I totally thought this version was something else.
Sorry, Carly.
Carly Agro went there.
That doesn't matter.
What matters is this.
People had Virginia, a lot of people who know better than I,
thought Virginia was the best team in America, okay?
Best NCAA basketball team.
So Virginia, you could say, was the one overall.
In their quadrant, of course, they were ranked number one.
So if you go by that reasoning, you could argue UMBC,
who made this tournament because they had a buzzer beater
against some little team or whatever,
you could argue they're like the 64th seed, okay?
You could do that argument.
So you have, in the quadrant, it was one versus 16.
And there's been, I think they've've had 64 teams since 1985, I think.
So if you think there's four of these games every year,
you could do the math and figure it's like 132 or something.
So prior to last night, a 1 seed had never lost to a 16 seed.
And then last night, and I couldn't believe my eyes
when I saw that UMBC was up by 11 early in the second half,
and I'm like, I'm glued to this game now.
Crazy.
They win by 20 points.
They blow out this number one team, Virginia.
They won by 20 points?
They won by 20 points.
I didn't even look at the score.
I saw that they won this morning.
Yeah, like you'd think it might be like a buzzer beater
or some like fluky three-pointer.
Oh, my God.
They won by 20 points.
It didn't even look close.
These guys, their uniforms looked like my slow-pitch team. Like, really? And, like, they won by 20 points. It didn't even look close. These guys, their uniforms looked like my slow pitch
team. Like, really? And like
they had this little guy.
I did some homework and saw he was
actually from Puerto Rico.
And I can't remember his name. KJ
Maui or something. But he was like
they had him listed at 5'8", 140
pounds. I think they were being generous.
So he was like way smaller than us.
This guy was just, it was unbelievable
that this team, 16 seed, won this game by 20 points.
Earlier this year, so like January 2018,
the same UMBC team played Albany,
which no one's heard of them either,
and lost to Albany 83 to 39.
Holy shit.
In January 2018.
Like by all accounts, I'm going to put forward
that this here
might be
the greatest upset.
This is going to sound too hyperbolic,
but greatest upset in sports history?
Yeah, except for no one really
cares. You're wrong. Marshmallows
is huge. You don't care.
No one really cares except for...
Now they don't. They did last night, but
no one's going to care tomorrow.
They'll care until...
It's the first round.
But it's the first time.
So let's say that's the 132nd time
a 1 has played 16. That is the first
time a 1 has lost
that game ever.
In the history... Well, since 85 when they expanded.
But it is a huge massive upset and
i just want to say that it was thrilling to watch but it was kind of strange in that they had it
like they had it in the bag early so you didn't have that like that oh my god they did it it was
like they're doing it oh my god this is happening i can't believe umbc uh is gonna beat virginia
anyway anyways i found it exciting you can continue to ignore March Madness.
So according to this particular article here that I'm looking up,
so they're called the Retrievers,
which is also a ridiculous name for a sports team.
The Retrievers secured their underdog legacy in sports lore.
I feel like this could be a whole podcast itself.
Alongside Buster Douglas, who famously beat Mike Tyson in Japan.
Yep.
And in fact,
no one really even cared.
No one thought that that fight was a big deal.
And that's why it was in Japan for the first,
in the first place,
the 1980 United States Olympic hockey team.
Do you believe in miracles?
Which is also interesting given that that miracle on ice was actually a
semi-final,
which a lot of people forget.
Not the final.
Right.
And Joe Namath's New York
Jets. Oh, I don't know, but
the Jets won, I don't know, like they are
still an NFL team, like you know what I mean?
I know, but they were
big time underdogs. Sure, okay.
But I still think this one ranked,
so this was incredible. You know what, I
will reserve opinion,
I'll take back what I've said, I'll reserve opinion
when I see the movie.
There will be a movie?
When I see the movie,
and if it makes me cry like it did for Rudy,
and still does,
then I'll...
I don't know.
Okay.
I admit I don't care.
My brother Steve listens to this podcast,
and he made a remark once that
you and I cry a lot, I think is what he said.
We've cried three times,
and twice about the same thing.
But for grown men, first of all, grown men are crying on a podcast.
Fine.
Totally fine.
Is that commonplace?
I don't know.
I listen to a lot of podcasts.
I don't think I've ever heard a tear.
So we cry a lot, right?
I listen to a lot of true crime podcasts and they cry a lot in those.
But that's generally because somebody that they know and love has died.
Right.
Exactly.
As opposed to some music star that they've never met before in their lives.
But not only do we cry on this podcast sometimes,
but also we will be honest with our audience
that I watched Titanic.
Because this is true.
Sorry, I told my daughter.
I watched Titanic and I cried at the end of Titanic.
You cried at the end of Titanic?
Back in 97, yes.
Why?
Because you thought that there was room on the raft?
No, this is the thing.
And I tried to explain something
because Michelle, my 13-year-old, was making fun of me.
And I said, no, I actually didn't care about the Rose and Jack thing.
Like, that didn't make me cry.
I had a moment at the end of the movie where I realized that this was a real event.
Yes.
And hundreds of real people died in this real event.
Look at you being all human.
So I had this moment of like, yeah, like, oh like oh my god like because it seems so realistic and
then forget rose and jack that did not make me cry it made me cry the whole enormity the whole
tragedy made me cry best part of that movie was when victor newman showed up at the party
that was the best no the best part's when uh jack's drawing that picture of oh that's
i think my vhs was paused a few times,
I believe, but I digress.
So, you cried a lot of movies.
No, I don't.
I mean, I have cried,
but I don't think I cry a lot.
You cried at Rudy.
But Rudy... Yeah, Rudy did.
Rudy was the first movie...
You know, they made up that great...
The best scene in that movie
is when they turn in their jerseys?
Yes.
Fiction.
Rudy is the first movie that I've cried at, that I cried at,
and is a movie that I've probably seen it no less than 50 times, 100 times, something like that.
Every single time I watch it, I cry.
Every single time.
Okay, I only have two movies like that where I can watch it 50 times and cry every time.
The only two movies like that I have are Big Fish, which I could watch it a hundred
times, I'll cry a hundred times, and Field
of Dreams.
I don't even want to say the line. If I say the line, I'll start
crying, but Want to Catch?
I could bawl right now. That
scene, Kevin looking at his dad,
Kevin Costner's
character looking at his dad before the dad
has any kids. I think we talked about this last time. I can't even
say the line, Want to Catch, and think that scene. I think we talked about this last time. I can't even, like, say the line, want to catch and think that scene.
Right now, I'm feeling very emotional.
It's on Netflix, and I watched it a few weeks ago,
and I did feel myself getting verklempt, as they say.
In fact, when I watched it with the teens, I will actually,
it's silly, I'll put my shirt over my head because, you know,
I'm openly weeping, and I just feel silly.
But okay, the most recent movie to make me cry, and I watched it for the second time with my oldest daughter and my wife earlier this week, was Coco from Pixar.
So I will admit that I'm not a Disney movie fan in general, but I was home and my middle girl went off to a birthday party.
So I was with my older girl and my youngest son.
And we decided to have a movie picnic in the basement.
So we got some munchies and rented cocoa.
My three-year-old became very disinterested in the movie about halfway through,
but that I think is just because he's three.
Right.
That's pretty common.
Yeah.
My oldest was pretty much into it,
and I have to admit that I really disliked it.
I mean, for a movie that was so celebrated and won an Oscar and blah, blah, blah,
people seem to be really into this movie,
and it's like 97% on Rotten Tomatoes and stuff.
I really thought it was not even a good Disney movie.
Well, I don't even like you calling it a Disney.
I know Disney owns Pixar or whatever,
but I'd rather you call it a Pixar movie.
It's a Disney movie.
They are different.
No, Frozen's a Disney movie.
This is a Pixar movie.
They have these different divisions.
And Pixar pumps out like Up and Inside Out and this movie,
which is called Coco.
And Disney pumps out Frozen
and things like that.
Anyway, that's fine.
Of course, opinions, subjectivity,
it's all the glory of this world.
So I saw it twice, and
I think it's a tremendous
movie. Beautiful movie
to watch. Wonderful story.
Two parts make me cry
every time. I absolutely
adored this movie. So you and I
couldn't... This is like Siskel and Ebert, okay?
I could not disagree with you more. I think
it's an exceptional movie.
I
never want to see it again.
I'm going to see it right now. Pause.
The kids watched it. I mean,
I don't even know how long a rental period is
on iTunes. Probably 48 hours or whatever. I don't know what it is. But they probably watched it. I don't even know how long a rental period is on iTunes. Probably 48 hours or whatever.
I don't know what it is.
But they probably watched it five or six times.
They just watched it over and over and over again.
Were you multitasking during the film?
Were you sure you paid attention?
I started off not, and then I ended up, yes,
played a lot of Clash of Clans during it.
Now, admittedly, that movie does have a strong like final 25 minutes that's where all the tears
happen like but but getting there is nice and then when you get to that last 25 now you're on a whole
different plane like this is pixar at its best and pixar at its best is as good as movies get
do you like the toy stories the three toys never seen them wow never you really don't like cartoons. That is an accurate fact.
I'm not a huge fan of cartoon movies.
Have you seen Up?
G.I. Joe?
Love that movie.
Oh, yeah.
That's nostalgia, which you don't believe in.
I forgot about that.
Right.
But Up?
Did I see that?
Wall-E?
What about Wall-E?
I never saw it.
Okay.
The Pixar ones, and there are some dogs.
Like, don't do Cars 2 or whatever,
or The Good Dinosaur or whatever.
But the vast majority of Pixar movies
are worthy of a 97% on Rotten Tomatoes.
And I'm not just...
Trust me, I'm a harsh critic when it comes to movies.
I dislike most movies.
I loved Coco, and we'll leave it at that.
We agree to disagree.
Thumbs up from me.
Thumbs down from Elvis.
Big thumbs down.
We should do a podcast
where we remember
Four Christmases.
I love that movie.
I thought it was weak ass
and you love it.
You and I,
do you think there's
any commonality?
Like what's a movie
you love that we both love?
You don't like
superhero movies, right?
I just don't see them.
I wouldn't say I don't like them.
Well, both like
Feel the Dreams, clearly.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
I love Feel the Dreams.
I loved Rudy. Anything within the say I don't like them. Well, both like Feel the Dreams, clearly. Okay, yeah, I love Feel the Dreams. I loved Rudy.
Anything within the last 10 years.
Rocky?
I loved Rocky.
I loved almost all the Rockies.
I even loved...
Did you like Rocky V?
I didn't like Rocky V.
Is that the one with Morrison?
Yes, Tommy Morrison.
Yeah, I liked it too.
That's pretty bad.
Creed II looks good, though.
I'm excited for Creed II because Dolph Lundgren's son is the opponent.
I liked Creed 1.
Or Evon Drago's.
Because Michael B. Jordan is fantastic.
Almost everything he does is great.
I just saw him in, he was really good in Black Panther.
I haven't seen it yet.
He was really good in Black Panther, and there was another movie where I saw him in where he's good.
The Fruitvale Station he's in, which is exceptional, and he's in The Wire, FYI.
Hold on, who's this coming down right now?
Hold on.
Hello.
Hi. Hello. Oh, good, FYI. Hold on. Who's this coming down right now? Hold on. Hello.
Hello.
Does she want to?
Oh, good night, Morgan.
Good night.
She wanted to say good night.
Someone's going for a nap.
Her nap time.
Vegetarian.
So you're still a vegan or a vegetarian?
What is your status right now when it comes to eating animals?
What is this?
Very briefly here.
I attempt to be a vegan as much as I can,
but when I'm on the road,
it usually turns into being a veggie.
Okay, so...
But if you're hungry,
you'll eat a burger with beef in it, right?
I mean, I'm just trying to find out.
Are you just...
I try not to eat meat,
or are you like, I don't eat meat?
Well, it depends on where I am.
Okay.
If you will, if you're hungry enough and in the right place or whatever,
you'll eat porchetta, for example.
No.
If I'm, if I'm, true.
If I'm, when I go to Florida, it's virtually impossible to find any vegetables.
So you'll eat meat.
So you, I have no choice.
I mean, or like, you know.
Okay.
I've witnessed you eating porchetta
like you were starving to death
and I just think that's an interesting move
for a vegetarian.
There is one place to buy a vegetarian meal
at the TFC game.
And unfortunately,
that is on the other end of the stadium
and usually the longest line in the stadium.
Because they literally have like the pig,
like you can see the pig there.
It's disgusting.
It's got to be the least vegetarian thing I've ever seen.
And I was surprised.
Least vegetarian? Yeah, because you
actually see the pig
rotating or whatever.
But I see that with any animal that I would
eat. Yeah, but you physically see it.
I mentally see it and have the shame
live with me forever, regardless
of what animal. You're the Lisa Simpson of Toronto Mike.
I love that episode where, yeah,
she met with Paul McCartney and Linda McCartney,
and they discussed vegetarianism.
And I've heard Apu, of course, was also a vegetarian
because of his Hindu beliefs.
Correct.
Great episode.
And at the end, he reveals that if you listen to Baby, I'm Amazed,
if you listen to backwards, I think thereazed, if you listen to backwards, I think
there's a subliminal message like how to make a nice lentil soup.
Fantastic episode.
I highly recommend it.
I want to ask you about your father.
Speaking of nostalgia.
Yeah.
I love the symptoms.
You have three kids.
Yes.
Can you remind us of their ages right now?
Eight, five, and three.
Eight, five, and three.
Okay.
I want to ask you about birth order
really briefly here
because I realized
I've got an oldest son,
James,
wonderful man,
just took driving school.
He's a great guy.
He's 16 years old.
When he was born,
he was always going to be
my oldest child.
This was just a fact.
He's an oldest child.
But then I had a girl
two years later
who for, honestly,
for at least a decade
was the youngest child. So she was the baby of the family. A whole decade she got out of that. a girl two years later who for honestly for a whole well for at least a decade was going was
the youngest child so she was the baby of the family a whole decade she got out of that then
kind of not a surprise but a little curveball happens and then there's Jarvis shows up so now
it's okay because Michelle's already kind of older and she's cool with everything and now there's a
new baby and Jarvis got that for like two years and then Morgan shows up. So now
Morgan forever, I believe, like I
haven't got like snipped like you. You're snipped,
right? No. You're not snipped? No.
Why do I think you're snipped? I have no idea.
You're going to get snipped? I haven't thought about it.
You might have a fourth child. Sure.
I guess. With your current wife? I haven't
thought about getting snipped.
Okay. I thought, okay. I thought you might
shut it down.
I don't know.
I have to turn this around.
No, it hasn't even been a topic of conversation.
But there's zero plans for me to have another child.
Okay.
So I believe Morgan is my baby forever.
She will be my youngest child forever.
So I was thinking about birth order and how Jarvis gets a little bit screwed here because there's an oldest and a youngest and another youngest because of that 10-year gap.
But Jarvis, he's like a true forgotten entity.
There's the sweet baby who just said goodbye to us.
And there's the teenagers.
And then there's Jarvis.
And I was just thinking about I almost need to overcompensate and pay extra attention to Jarvis.
Because he's never been like he was never a baby for more than two years.
And he's never the oldest because I've got the oldest so i was just thinking about birth order is there any dynamic in your family life
with your children like where you have a middle possible middle child syndrome going on because
you did it more conventionally where the kids have ages closer together um that's a good question i think the i think the middle girl has um doesn't have that but has
more options than the younger one and the older one in the sense that um she can play with her
older sister but she also has the opportunity to play with her younger brother, and they can do that more, whereas my oldest doesn't usually play with the youngest,
and if she does, it's more like a motherly thing.
Right.
So that's probably the dynamic,
but I don't think that there is a middle...
I'm sure she has it.
I just don't see it come out maybe as often as other sibling sets.
And are you conscious of like no of uh but having like a i don't want to
say like a favorite like is there at all like are you conscious like because i joke that i have that
i joke that any parent has a favorite at any given time um which based on sort of how a child has
annoyed you or not that particular moment in time or day. But no, I equally love my children.
So let me look in the eyes here.
So you love, of course, but forget love for a minute
because we all love our kids the same way.
I don't treat them differently necessarily.
Do you have a preference at all of your three children?
No.
Like you enjoy them all equally?
Sure, because they're all very different as well.
So there's different things that you can enjoy with them.
And there's different aspects of them that are really amazing.
Are you burping right now?
I am.
There's different aspects of them that are really amazing.
Right?
So I think that's unique as well is that they're all,
maybe it's not because I don't have anything else to compare it to,
but they're all really, really different.
Sure.
Which is great.
Cool. And none of them are assholes yet really, really different. Sure. Which is great. Cool.
And none of them are assholes yet.
No, they're not.
Which is great.
They're not bad kids.
Well, that's it.
I'm in the same place right now.
None of my kids are assholes.
They're all sweethearts.
So it's like I just like them all.
Soon to come, though, I would imagine.
I don't know.
The 16-year-old is going to turn,
well, he's 16 now,
and the oldest daughter is going to turn 14 this summer.
And right now, they're both sweethearts, to be honest.
I know I'm biased, but they're nice people.
I don't know.
I would imagine history suggests that that is not going to be the case forever.
Well, if we're still recording, I'll update everybody in five years
and how things went.
Your kids, so the older kids anyways,
did they ever go into French immersion or are they just English only? English only.
It would be nice, but no, they're English
only. Okay, I was curious about that
because this is a question. Because you have a sponsor that is
French camp or something.
Well, here, let me bring down Macklemore's Irish
celebration and let me bring in the great
Nana Muscuri.
Here's a jam for you. What do you think of this
jam right here? This is a 70s jam
for you. Isn't that think of this jam right here? This is a 70s jam for you.
Isn't that great?
Oh, bringing me back.
Bringing me back.
Let me tell you about Camp Turnuson.
It's Mrs. Elvis.
She stopped listening to us, right?
Like she doesn't listen to Toronto. I have no idea.
In the beginning,
she would listen to us
when we were together on an episode.
She would, yes.
I'm not sure if she still gets the...
You know how iTunes sort of times out
if you don't listen to a podcast
when you subscribe to it?
Oh, does it?
Given that she would only listen to our episodes
and how infrequent they are,
I would imagine that the subscription times out.
That explains how my ranking fell the other day.
What's going on there?
So, Mrs. Elvis, listen up.
If you want to help your child with French
or just to give them activities this summer, this is really cool.
So since 2001, Camp Tournesol has been providing French camps in the GTA for tens of thousands of children aged 4 to 14.
That covers at least two of your kids, right?
4 to 14.
Yep.
Largest French camps in Ontario.
And it doesn't matter if your child is francophone or in French immersion like my teens
or have no French experience.
Zero.
They have a day camp or an overnight experience for them.
Campers in all of their programs enjoy weeks jam-packed
with activities designed to support
and enrich French learning in Ontario
beyond the school walls.
In this supportive context,
kids are encouraged to share,
learn, and try new things. And that's always good, Elvis. I encourage all children to try new things.
Activities and themes change week to week. So here's the promotion. If you go to,
what's the address again? CampT.ca. And if you sign up and you use the promo code Mike,
you get $20 off your first order.
Camp Tournesol.
Send your kids to French camp this summer.
And that's an order.
I'm going there right now.
CampT.ca
Yeah, make sure I got the right address.
CampT.ca
Yeah, it redirects you to the full address.
And I think they're smart.
They did CampT.ca
because who can spell Tournesol?
Us Anglos. It's tough. It's true. I can they're smart. They did Camp T.C.A. because who can spell Ternasol? Us Anglos.
It's tough.
It's true.
I can barely say it.
Let me see where the nearest camp is for my children.
Let's do it.
And I'm going to listen to Nanamaskuri.
Overnight camp, okay.
Oh, shit.
Oh. There's a summer day camp that would work for my oldest daughter.
Well, make sure Mrs. Elvis, because I know you're not going to register.
When Mrs. Elvis registers, use the promo code Mike.
And tell her there's a Great Lakes beer to for her.
She's going to, yeah.
Do you go to the odd baseball game at the Dome?
Once in a while, maybe?
I think I went once or twice last year.
Is that like a...
I envision you...
I won't talk too much about the real Elvis,
but I envision you doing team-building exercises there.
Do you have your staff with you?
Not at...
I mean, I guess I have gone with my team, but
not... I can't
watch a full baseball game.
I think I've said here.
But you can watch a full soccer match. One of my
favorite baseball games that I ever went
to was when we arrived at
the seventh inning. We saw
three home runs, I think two of them by
Bautista. But it was
three innings of baseball, and that was great. It's kind of like me and golf. I think two of them by Bautista. But it was three innings of baseball and that
was great. It's kind of like me and golf.
I'm happy to golf
nine holes at most.
But then I'm done.
The last time I golfed was with you.
Do you remember? Five years ago. Oh yeah, that's right.
Yeah, we drove way up north. And that was only
the second time in my life I golfed. Did we do a full 18 holes?
No. I don't think so. I don't think so. I can't do
a full 18 holes. I don't think so. We don't think so. I can't do a full 18 holes.
I don't think so.
We did whiskey tasting, though.
Yeah, we did.
That was great.
By the way, that was GM, right?
Yeah, it was.
You're going to send me on some more adventures.
You've got to get back on that.
And they shaved us? Did they shave us?
I can't remember.
Did they do haircuts?
They did give us haircuts.
They gave us...
They shaved our faces.
They shaved and they sort of trimmed us around the...
Some grooming.
The hairline.
We needed some grooming.
Yeah. That was great. We needed some grooming. Yeah.
That was great.
Yeah.
And you bought several GM cars after that, as I recall.
Yeah.
I bought many a GM car, yes.
I know.
You're a big GM guy.
But you live in Oshawa.
You have to be a GM guy.
I think that's the law there, I believe.
But I was asking because there's a lot of people who passionately hate the wave.
So I know baseball season starts in,
I don't know,
12 days or something, but I just want to say I've never hated the wave.
In fact,
all I see are people enjoying themselves doing the wave.
There's a great backlash.
Like the wave distracts from the game.
Yeah.
There's a great hatred.
Distracts from the game.
Are you aware of the hatred for the wave?
No,
I think maybe I might've heard this.
It's passionate.
It's passionate amongst the wave haters. I didn't realize it was passionate. No, but I'm here to defend the wave. Do you do the wave? No, I think maybe. I might have heard this at some point in time. It's passionate amongst the wave haters.
I didn't realize it was passionate, no.
But I'm here to defend the wave.
Do you do the wave?
Yeah, of course I do.
Oh, okay.
Whoa.
Talking about passion.
Are you kidding me?
Talking about passion.
If that fucking wave is coming by, I'm up.
And my kids love it.
It's the only thing they love in a baseball game.
They don't like baseball, but the wave, that's something they can get into.
I'm trying to think.
Did I do the wave last time?
Probably not.
So you abstain from the wave? Yeah, but it's not because I don't like it. It's into. I don't know. I'm trying to think. Did I do the wave last time? Probably not. So you abstain from the wave?
Yeah, but it's not because I don't like it.
It's just, I don't know.
Yeah, get off my lawn, Mike.
All right, so I just wanted to say,
we're going to do a guilty pleasure jam thing.
So your guilty pleasure is the wave?
My guilty pleasure is I'm pro wave.
All right.
I've always been pro wave, and I'm still pro wave,
and I don't care how uncool that makes me.
How are you with the high five? I'm pro high five. I've always been pro wave and I'm still pro wave and I don't care how uncool that is. How are you with the high five?
I'm pro high five.
You're passionate about this shit.
I'm pro high five as well.
As I age, I become really
live and let live, man.
Do you know the best way?
Do you know the foolproof way to
execute a high five that will
never fail? Do you know the trick?
No, I don't know any tricks. When you put your hand up
to do the high five,
people look at the hand.
Don't look at the hand.
Look at the elbow.
And if you look at the elbow,
you will always connect
with the high five.
This is invaluable education.
We'll try it on the way out.
It is a foolproof way
to do a high five.
We'll get Monica to take a video
of us high fiving.
It's foolproof.
Look at the elbow and you will never miss the high five.
Are you ready to run down the episodes that have been recorded since your last appearance on Festivus?
Yeah, sure.
Ron James.
And all I want to know from you is, A, have you listened?
And B, will you listen?
No, no.
Why don't you like Ron James?
It was a great episode.
He's a lovely guy.
He's funny too.
I heard good reviews.
It got good reviews on Rotten Tomatoes.
Just personally not a fan.
All right.
Ill Vibe.
No.
No.
Oh, he's got a new album coming out.
You know, he composed the Toronto Bunch song.
I know.
I was just going to say.
I think he's a great guy for giving you free songs for your show.
Do you know what day his new album comes out?
Friday the 13th.
No, 420.
Oh.
Because he's stoned all the time.
Elliot Price.
Nope.
I'm not a fan of...
Of the fan?
I'm still trying to figure out that morning show.
It's Greg Brady and Elliot Price
and some Hugh Burrell on the side.
Greg Brady.
I listened to one of the greatest moments
in radio history where...
You sold that way too high, buddy.
There was a snowstorm
and Greg was not on the air
with all the other guys
and they were tearing him a new asshole.
Because he lives in Ajax?
Ajax.
Ajax, okay.
So then he gets in and comes on the radio
and proceeds to just crucify his co-hosts
for ripping him a new asshole for being late
because he clearly was late because of the snow and he's like
you know has his life in his own hands
he was so
angry and it was legit
it was the most
uncomfortable greatest
radio ever were you in the room for the
first Greg Brady episode
yes here yes that's
okay yes yes it was the reason we
had that first correct you sat here and I sat in the second guest room.
Did you miss doing that?
Because you haven't been back since David Alter?
Were you here for David Alter?
No.
Yes. Maybe?
I might have been here for David Alter.
So that was your last appearance with a mega celebrity like Alter and Brady.
But that was a great...
Greg, if you're listening, man, I know that you were pissed and that you're probably not...
Of course he's listening.
It's not going to make a highlight reel, but for the listeners, man, it was fucking great radio.
Holy shit.
It was so great.
That's funny.
Yeah.
So you're not going to listen to Elliot Price despite this...
I'm still trying to figure out that morning show.
Okay.
So you listened to that.
I'm surprised.
Well, I listened to it on...
Because you're such a SiriusXM person.
I know, but I listened to it on the way to the GO train station.
I don't have Sirius in my car, so...
After Elliot Price, Matt Gurney came in.
It's funny.
I had to look him up when I saw him, but I know who he is now.
I just didn't recognize the name, but no, I know.
The episode 300 was not really a guest, but 300, I did like a...
I had people who listened send me clips of like their favorite
oh yeah that's right and i played the clips it was kind of neat i meant to listen to that but i
didn't you didn't send me a clip though no i didn't because you could have had a some air
well i mean like all of mine were all of my episodes basically but you could have said that
would have been funny gear joyce and i bet you you don't know who gear joyce i don't he writes
for sportsnet but i think more interestingly, he wrote these mystery novels
where this former NHL player
solves crime mysteries or something.
Oh, wow.
Which got picked up,
and Jason Priestley now stars in a show
called...
Crap.
Private Eyes.
And this is a real show.
Global broadcasts it.
It's a real show,
and it's basically based on his books. So he's cashing in. Anyways, Global broadcasts it. It's a real show. And it's basically based on his books.
So he's cashing in.
Cool.
Anyways, Gare Joyce was an interesting...
That's awesome.
He's also doing stand-up comedy on the side.
And he's the reason David Schultz started doing stand-up comedy.
David Schultz does stand-up comedy?
Oh, yeah.
You haven't listened to the David Schultz?
No.
I listened to the part where he cried.
Yeah.
That was...
And here's...
But I didn't cry.
I've been...
You didn't cry.
Okay, that's right. You didn't cry. You don't i've been you didn't cry yeah that's right you
didn't you don't yeah you didn't cry at coco or the david schultz episode something's wrong with
you like you need to see a psychiatrist yeah clearly another one i cried at my
gary joyce um anyway i didn't know much about gary joyce actually before we sat down but
interesting dude you got did he reach out to you or you reach out to him? No, David Schultz said, hey, you should get
Gare Joyce on. He's really good. What percentage of your guests
are guests that you solicit
versus they solicit you?
I probably solicit like
90% of my guests.
Gare Joyce is an example where
Gare Joyce
was like a reference, if you will.
I got an email from
David Schultz that said, hey, man, this is Gary Joyce.
Here's what he's done.
He's really funny, really interesting.
Have him on.
And I said, I looked him up and said, okay.
Ron James is an example.
I did not pursue Ron James.
They wanted to promote his New Year's Eve special.
Right.
And I got like a PR notice or whatever.
And I said, well, let me talk to this guy.
And then it turned out he was all into it.
You talked to Ron or talked to the PR guy?
No, Ron.
I have a new rule where if I don't have any contact with the guest, they're not coming on.
Gotcha.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
I remember that.
Unless it's Obama.
Maybe he'll make us...
Dave Hodge came in and we did his top 100 jam.
That was...
I would maybe listen to that, but I think listening to 100 songs, I think would...
No, we only play 10.
Right, but he talked through 100 of them?
Yeah, right.
Yeah, that's intense.
That's intense.
But he's...
Good for him for having that list, though.
He's amazing.
Diana Swain.
Yeah?
Nope, nope.
You're not a big CBC person.
No, no, it's fine.
It's fine.
Just not super interesting for me.
Some guy named Brian Gerstein from Property and the Six kicked out the gyms.
I did not listen, but I commented, I think, on your blog.
That he's a good guy.
That he's a good guy, yeah.
Since you have one, I'm going to give it to you later, but do you think he looks like Bill Pullman?
No, I don't think so.
Because Troy Birch from Great Lakes Beers sent me a picture of Bill Pullman.
Is this a new logo on the mug?
Yeah.
I like it.
He totally redid these pint glasses.
Brian, I normally don't take them,
but given that this is different,
I'm going to take this one.
Oh, I think he paid like nine bucks a glass.
No.
I'm not sure you can have one.
I'm not sure.
These are really high quality pint glasses.
Yeah, no shit.
People banging at the door,
put me on the show.
I want a pint glass.
It's really good.
These are good.
So Brian Gerstein,
you're not going to listen to? Because Brian's listening right now. Yeah, okay. I'll listen to it. Liar. He me on the show. I want a pint glass. It's really good. These are good. Brian Gerstein, you're not going to listen to?
Because Brian's listening right now. Yeah, okay. I'll listen to it.
Liar. He's lying, Brian.
I'll download it right now. He's lying.
Shut up. I'm putting it up.
Okay, he's doing it right now, but he's going to skip it.
Colleen Rushholm came
over to kick out the jams.
Yeah, I bet you that was a good episode.
You're not going to listen to that one either, eh?
I don't know why you make me do this.
I love it.
Keegan Matheson.
Do you even know who that is?
No.
He writes about the Blue Jays.
He's a wonderful Maritimer.
He had great jams too.
You should listen to that.
Alan Cross.
You ever heard of him?
That was one where I was like, I should listen to this.
And you didn't.
I didn't.
See, if I can't get my buddy.
Have you had him on before?
Yeah. It's his third time. Oh, wow. Okay. He's a regular.
He's gonna get in the Hep C
club of regularity.
When was he... I feel like he's
deserving of a visit. Well, he did the first
kick out of the jams. He hasn't been around here. He kicked out the jams
first. I know, but he's usually on here
every month. Do you listen to
TMI? Do you know what TMI
is? Do you know I have another podcast
now? Oh yeah, that morning thing? No. Yeah. Three minutes every morning at 8am, I drop three
minutes, five things you should know with a song in the background that's relevant to one of the
five items. This is the kind of podcast I want. Okay. So I created the podcast I'm looking for.
Now I need someone else to do it. It's totally Toronto-centric,
but TMI stands for
Toronto Mic Insider.
But I have a,
Mark Hebbshire
has provided the voiceover
for the countdown,
5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
Oh, nice.
That's done by Mark Hebbshire.
TMI,
go to
torontomic.com
slash TMI.
I'm shocked
that this
hasn't, like,
become the most viral,
like,
must-listen-to thing in the city.
And you're not even listening to TMI.
It's really good.
People who listen love it.
People who like it, like it a lot.
And you should subscribe to TMI.
Alan Cross kicking out the jams does not appeal to you?
How different are we?
Forget me.
Forget me.
Pretend I'm not involved.
If you told me, oh, Alan Cross is going to chat for 90 minutes.
He's going to tell you some interesting things
about his vinyl collection and stuff.
Then he's going to play and discuss
why he loves his 10 favorite songs of all time.
I'm all in.
That's right up my alley.
I think it's great.
But you're not going to listen.
You're busy listening to Greg Brady
and Elliot Price on 590.
That's just because it's there.
I listened to it for 15 minutes.
I'm a little hurt.
And then this was a local independent artist I'm sure you never heard of,
but he was a great guest, Sean William Clark.
I know you haven't listened.
I have not.
Steve Anthony came over.
Yes, I saw the controversy on your blog where he came over
and people were like,
why wouldn't he tell you he's quitting the show
two weeks after he appears on your show?
Oh, is there controversy? Well, people mentioned that
in the comments. Oh, yeah, you're right.
And I even chimed in and said,
he's not going to put this for the first time he's going to do it on my
show instead of the whole crew found out
when he said it on CP Play for Breakfast.
He's got to resign to his employer first.
You don't do that on a podcast unless you're Donald Trump.
So Steve Anthony was a great guest.
I would imagine.
He's always a great guest.
I actually really like this guy.
And I saw on Reddit or something, they announced, oh, he's stepping down.
A lot of people are like, I don't like that guy.
He's manic.
He did a lot of coke, this and that.
I've only had the two times he came over.
But both times, super honest, super super kind and generous and super likable like all i
have is warm feelings and uh a liking for this man's uh steve anthony i think uh one of the
unique things about steve anthony is that when he's on the air he seems like he's just a regular
dude like he it doesn't seem like they're stick with him or like a persona or a character it just
seems like steve anthony is steve anthony right you know some some broadcasters are really good but you can just
you imagine that that's not how they are at home right um whereas steve just always seem like that
regular guy and i talked to him since he announced his like i'm leaving cp24 because his last day is
the end of the month and i i'm like i was honest with him like we're we have a really good like
rapport if you will.
And I'm like,
uh,
like were you pushed at all?
Like,
is this one of those like famous,
like,
uh,
Hey,
we want you to leave,
but we want,
we're going to give you like a chance to pretend like you're quitting.
You know,
those,
those happen all the time in broadcasting.
And he swears to me,
Nope.
He's,
he's been working on this since October and it's a 100% his decision.
And he's just done with waking up
that early and broadcasting. He has other things
he wants to do. Is he joining the Mike Richards podcast?
No?
No. Okay.
Do you listen to the Mike Richards podcast?
Is it still on? Yeah, I'm sure it is.
I don't know. Why don't you listen to that, Mike?
Good point. In fact,
in a couple episodes, that's going to become relevant
again. I did an episode about
the horseshoe tavern yeah i i saw that saw that um probably was very interesting i'm going oh four
like there's not one episode you want to listen to dan spearin came over and i know you don't know
the name but um dan spearin is like uh he was like a early like representative of the millennials in the city.
He did a lot of videos and
comedy stuff. He's a host
and an actor. He does a lot of interesting things
in the city and was able to
talk to me about podcasts
in Canada.
You have no interest? No.
Troy Birch came over to kick out the jams.
He's with Great Lakes Brewery.
Oh yeah, that's right. I saw that.
I probably listen to that because he's probably just a regular guy
talking about music.
So you prefer regular guys?
Well, whatever.
Tim Langton came over.
Tim is the public address
announcer when you go to Jay's Games at the Dome.
He's had that gig since 2005.
Oh, wow. Cool.
So he's the guy who would be saying, you know,
up next for the Blue Jays, number 11, Kevin
Pillow.
How does he like that?
He loves it.
Does he have another job?
Yeah.
Well, he does a lot of like voiceover stuff.
He's a freelancer.
He does different things.
Cool.
Because he only, yeah, because you're right.
It's not a full time.
What is that, 82 games a year?
81.
81 games.
81 games a year.
And I asked him, he gets six hours of work in every home game.
But he was interesting to talk to. I asked him. he gets six hours of work in every home game. But he was interesting to talk to.
Like I asked him.
Six hours for him?
Yeah, he gets there three hours before first pitch.
Why?
I don't know.
There's prep and meetings and stuff.
Interesting.
See, maybe I will listen to that.
Does he talk about all that shit?
Oh, come on.
Real talk, man.
We talk all about that stuff.
That's why I don't listen to any of this shit.
Real talk.
Real talk.
In fact, I'm even like, okay, so Vlad Guerrero Jr. is coming up.
He's not going to be there opening day, but he's coming up.
And the Keegan Matheson episode has a great deep dive into Vlad Guerrero Jr.
But I'm like, how are you going to say his name?
He hasn't even thought about it yet.
We discussed on air.
We discussed ways he could say Vlad Guerrero Jr.
This was interesting stuff.
I don't understand. Well, you know how you would say, Jose Bautista. Oh, okay. discussed ways he could save Vlad Guerrero Jr. This was interesting stuff.
I don't understand.
You know how you would,
like,
Jose Bautista.
Oh, okay.
You have a way.
Remember?
Toronto.
Right.
Right.
Great Lakes Brewery.
That's one instance
where we do say Toronto
using all the T's.
I got it from that.
Home of your Toronto Blue Jays.
Yes, and I like
hitting that last T.
It's funny.
And then yesterday, a man drove all the way from, was he in Oshawa?
No, he's in Brooklyn.
Geez, I got to listen to it now.
You know where Brooklyn is?
Near Whitby?
Near.
Is it in Whitby?
It's North Whitby.
North Whitby.
So from Brooklyn.
It's not its own place.
It's not a city?
They don't have a mayor of Brooklyn?
It's part of Whitby.
It's part of Whitby. Oh, I didn't know that. Why are they called Brooklyn? No one in Brooklyn wants to admit that, though. That's why they call it Brooklyn. It's not its own place. It's not a city? They don't have a mayor of Brooklyn? It's part of Whitby. It's part of Whitby.
Oh, I didn't know that.
Why are they called Brooklyn?
No one in Brooklyn wants to admit that, though.
That's why they're called Brooklyn.
It's like Streetsville is part of Mississauga.
Oh, that's funny.
So from all the way in Whitby, Darren Dreger got in his large pickup truck.
Oh, he's in Brooklyn?
Yeah.
He's in Brooklyn.
He's in Brooklyn.
Interesting.
He drove here, which I don't know what that was.
You did it, too, though.
So what do I know?
But he came here just to record
and then went home.
So I almost think it's like
a three hour round trip or whatever.
Yeah.
That's what I do every time I come here, Mike.
Oh, wow.
That's why you get a six pack.
Yeah.
That's why I come.
But Darren Dreger,
in my opinion,
this is one of the great episodes
of Toronto Mic'd
because he came in
and I could tell right away
he was going to be honest with me.
I wasn't going to get bullshitted.
He was great.
He was great.
We talked about why he left because he's one of the rare guys who worked for Sportsnet.
That's right.
And got poached.
You don't see that.
You know what?
I totally forgot about that because, I mean, for me, he's a TSN guy through and through.
It was on your blog that reminded me that he was a Sportsnet guy.
We call it, at least I call it, crossing the parking lot.
So it's very, very rare.
In fact, I've written entries where I wondered aloud whether there's collusion.
Like, why don't we see more crossing of the parking lot where a TSN radio, for example,
will poach a fan 590 person or whatever.
You never, ever see it.
The last big example was Darren Dreger.
And that was back in like, I don't know, oh, whatever it was, 06 or whatever it was.
So it was a good episode? He was really,
he was strong. It was very good.
He was very honest. And
the early, like,
feedback from people is that
this is a great episode. So, you know, I'm not saying
it's a brunt episode, which is going to win me a
Pulitzer, but it's right up there.
How do you get nominated for the
stupid podcast of the year thing? There's a podcast
of the year thing? Yeah, remember these awards?
I got a Gemini once. Did I mention that?
I don't know.
Darren Drager, which was recorded yesterday,
episode, oh, by the way, it's episode 314,
so I call it the pie episode, 314.
Oh, that's right. And it was just pie.
And I played, right,
and I played American Pie,
and I played Cherry Pie by Warrant.
Oh, nice.
Great song.
And I said, pick your poison, which is yours.
Which one?
Right.
And what did he pick?
He said, the young dragger was Cherry Pie.
The current dragger is American Pie.
Of course.
Yes.
I would imagine.
What's your favorite there?
That Warrant song, when you'll hear that song, you think of the video.
You're in a strip club, right?
You think of the video.
Oh, the video. You think of the video. I mean, you think of the video. Oh, the video.
You think of the video.
I mean, the video is pretty classic.
Yes, I remember.
Classic 80s hashtag me too kind of video.
Right.
Right?
Do you remember the big single before Cherry Pot?
I think it was before.
There's a picture of your house standing by the door.
Sure.
Memories.
I don't want to be a Superman.
Anyway, I won't do it anymore.
It's fine.
Warrant doesn't remember Warrant songs either.
But that was a great jam.
That was a sweet ballad.
Warrant was good.
I liked it.
ACDC does not do this.
We've already talked about this.
But I liked rock bands, the hair bands.
Two ballads.
Yes.
They had the hard rock, like Cherry Pie, Full Throttle, Balls to the Wall. And then they had that hard rock like cherry pie full throttle balls to the
wall and then they had that you know like poison every rose you know every rose has his thorn or
home uh home sweet home by motley crew great song like oh my god great you know i'm a dreamer and
then kiss has beth yeah you know they all did it a deaf leopard has love bites remember love oh yeah
no i think i i was listening to i think I was listening to, I think you might have commented. Are these Guilty Pleasure Chants?
I think you might have commented on this,
but I was listening to it
one morning at work.
I was listening to a
Def Leppard mix,
and I think it was
Love Bites came on.
Love Bites.
And I'm pretty sure
that was the very first song
I ever slow danced to.
Oh, my God.
In grade seven
in Mr. Plochecki's class.
Mr. Plochecki.
And it was a woman,
I didn't put it in Twitter land because whatever,
but her name was Noelle.
I'm pretty sure her name was Noelle.
I'm pretty sure that was the one that I,
the first woman I ever danced with was Noelle.
I follow her on Instagram.
Is she still hot?
She never posts pictures of herself.
That's a bad sign.
It's always of her children.
That's a bad sign.
I don't know.
That means she's ballooned.
I'm not commenting. She is ballooned. I'm not commenting on this. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but It's always of her children. That's a bad sign. I don't know. That means she's ballooned. I'm not commenting.
She is ballooned.
I'm not commenting on this.
Not that there's anything wrong with that,
but it's bad for your heart.
I'm not commenting on this.
Okay.
I think mine might have been,
what was that jam?
Jam.
You're so hip to the jive.
I only call songs jam.
By the way,
my three-year-old has adopted this term,
so I must,
he, in his head,
he's decided I like that
I'm Still Standing by Elton John.
Oh yeah, that's a good song.
So he watches a lot of sing
and then I'm Still Standing
will come on and he'll go,
Daddy, Daddy, Daddy,
your jam is coming on.
Your jam's coming on.
Like I'm like,
oh, it's my jam.
I just go into it
and I start singing along
to I'm Still Standing,
which probably is my jam maybe.
It's pretty fucking cool.
Patreon.com slash
Toronto Mike. Everyone listening right now, both of
you, go to Patreon.com slash
Toronto Mike. Give what you can.
Help keep this going.
Elvis, please don't take
out your wallet right now.
You can do it later. We have a recording to do.
Give what you can. I won't disrupt the show.
Elvis, take that six-pack of beer home
with you. You deserve it.
Are you aware that Great Lakes Beer has provided you with these?
You know what?
You got a six-pack, but you're drinking a beer,
so it's actually you're getting seven beers.
I know.
I have a pompous ass here.
I have a blonde lager.
I have an over-my-dad-body Pilsner.
Wow, and you have a dad body.
That's a new one.
I've never heard that one before.
Lake Effect IPA.
That's what I'm drinking right now.
Limp Puppet.
Never heard of that one.
That's a good one.
That'll be new.
And then in a big bottle here is the Harry Porter and the Cherry Hoarder.
So take that home.
Does Mrs. Elvis ever partake in the Great Lakes beer you bring home?
The blonde, yes. Yeah, my wife's a
blonde girl, too, although she had a lake effect the other day.
It's more of a light beer, right, than anything else.
I call it the accessible beer.
It's sort of like the Heineken. Right, it's a gateway beer.
Right. And then you dive into
the IPAs or whatever and all the tasty
stuff. So, yeah,
take that home with you. Thank you, Great Lakes Brewery.
Great Lakes Beer. Brewery.
Even though you're not going to download and listen to Troy Burch's Kicking Out the Jams.
Disappointed.
He's got some Kenny Rogers on there.
Oh, does he?
Yeah.
It's pretty good.
And he's got some, I got friends in low places.
Oh, God.
Who's that again?
Chris Gaines?
What's the real name?
I don't know.
Oh, he does.
So.
I don't know.
He's only one of the biggest musicians in the history of the world.
All right. Are you kidding? Garth Brooks? Yeah, Garth Brooks. Is that Friends in Low Places? Okay, fine. So, he's only one of the biggest musicians in the history of the world.
Are you kidding?
Garth Brooks?
Yeah, Garth Brooks.
Is that Friends in Low Prices?
Okay, fine.
Garth Brooks.
Megastar.
Fine.
Pleased to tell you that you need a pint glass when you drink your Green Eggs beer.
And you mentioned already. And I am going to take this one.
Do you know that's called a willy?
W-I-L-L-I.
This kind of glass?
Yeah.
Really?
And Troy told me that.
So, he's an expert.
Toronto real estate done right.
But I don't want to tell you
to take my willy home with you.
Property in the six.
Take Brian's willy home with you.
Brian,
it's a message for you.
You ready?
Because this is a good gateway.
Speaking of gateways
to another discussion
I want to have
before we play
our guilty pleasure jams.
Property in the six dot com. Hi Elvis, Brian Gerstein here. Sales representative Thank you. can offer. I also have a limited supply left over exclusively for Toronto Mike's listeners.
In order to receive one of my pint glasses, just give me a call at 416-873-0292 to meet and discuss
any real estate needs you have as we enter the busiest time of year with the spring market here.
Elvis, I know you are a massive Toronto FC fan. So if my handle on Twitter is at Raptors Devotee,
you should be at Toronto FC Devotee.
Is this not the greatest time in both of our histories?
With both the Raptors and Toronto FC at their absolute pinnacle.
And as long-suffering fans of both,
can you believe this is actually happening?
Amazing what you can do if you get rid of those damn teachers, eh?
happening. Amazing what you can do if you get rid of those damn teachers, eh?
What a shot there at the end by Brian.
The pension plan.
Wow. Boom.
Well, Brian, I have to say that the new pint glass is really nice.
I do like this. I am going to take it.
I use the other one a lot,
so I will now use this.
And yeah, Toronto FC, man.
This is... I'm still trying to get over that shot.
He takes no prisoners.
That's when you get rid of the teachers.
I was like, what?
Oh, yeah, they used to own them.
Boom.
Pow.
Yeah, man.
Toronto FC is a good time to be a fan.
Let me tell you. Okay, so obviously we won the MLS Cup last...
Correct.
Was that December, November?
We won three trophies last year.
Three of the main trophies that we care about.
So this is...
I'm following this and I need you to help me here.
So this thing we're in now.
Okay, so we went to Mexico to play Tigres.
Ley Tigres.
Tigres.
Ley Tigres.
Which is just tigers in Spanish.
Is that right?
Correct.
Okay.
I would imagine so.
So here we won by one or something,
but then we went there and lost by one,
but it was 3-2 there, 2-1 here,
and I understand completely.
I'm totally because of the MLS Cup.
I understand away goals mean more than home goals.
Toronto FC advanced because we had more away goals.
Correct.
I get this 100% now.
Correct.
So we're in the semifinals of,
what is it called,
this Champions League thing?
So first of all,
I love that this blows people's minds
because it is funny
and I do get it's strange.
A buddy of mine
who really tries to like soccer
and just does not,
he sends me this text message
the morning after.
Congratulations on losing to win.
I don't get it,
but very happy for you. Glad your loyalty
has paid off. I get it, for what
it's worth. I get it. You have a
tiebreaker. We had the same amount of goals,
but the tiebreaker makes sense. Make
away goals the tiebreaker. Right.
And I think we talked about this before.
The whole purpose of this was to
generate more offense from the
visiting team, because
home and away is...
I actually like it.
I actually like it.
I like that your tiebreaker is away goals.
I think it's fair.
We all know the rules going in and it's no complaint.
And it is unique in the sense that you're playing a home and a home or two legs, as
you would say in soccer.
So, okay.
So here's the deal, Mike.
From a North American perspective, you would argue that the MLS Cup is the pinnacle, right? It's the deal mike there's there's from a north american perspective you would argue that
the mls cup is the pinnacle right it's the championship that is the stanley cup championship
of the mls correct but soccer has a tradition coming from europe where they don't really have
this playoff format the way that we do um at the end of the season. And so the second trophy that we won is called the Supporter Shield here, which is like winning
the President's Trophy.
Correct.
Exactly.
Good analogy or good comparison.
Which in hockey means almost nothing, but means something in soccer.
In Europe, those are the champions of the league.
Like the team that has the most points at the very last day of the season
is the champion of the league, and that's it.
So that's unique. So we won that.
And then we also have this national championship called the Voyagers Cup.
It's the Canadian championship where Canadian teams play for this trophy,
arguably the one that means the least amount.
There's only three big teams in Canada.
Three MLS teams,
and then there are a couple of other teams
that are in a lower tier play
in the same tournament.
So those are the three trophies that we won.
We won MLS Cup, Supporter Shield,
and the Voyagers Cup.
Now, by virtue of us winning the MLS Cup,
we qualified for CONCACAF,
which is the governing body of all soccer leagues in North America and the Caribbean.
Well, the Caribbean is part of North America.
Correct.
But it's interesting.
Like at work, when we say North America, we mean the USA and Canada.
Oh, you mean the three countries.
Oh, you don't even mean Mexico?
No, they're part of...
Because I've experienced where people think North America is three countries.
They're part of LATAM in my world, right?
So it's all of, you know, US, Canada, Mexico, and then the Caribbean.
The best of the best club teams, not national teams, club teams come together in this redesign tournament of 16.
Yeah, I guess there were 16 teams to begin with.
Sponsored by Scotia bank this year
and it's a it's a you know a bracket type of tournament where they ultimately crown the
champions league winner similar to the champions league in europe which more people know about but
you're also dealing with powerhouse teams there that are household names like uva real madrid
ua uva and real madrid are playing
in one semi-final so uh or one quarterfinal excuse me so though that's the tournament that we're in
now so the unique thing about soccer as well is that you have these uh simultaneous tournaments
happening um and so it can be a little bit confusing to understand what game means also
what's confusing for us but i'm i'm starting to pick it up and I'm getting it now, is that you can have a game against the Mexican team, Le Tigres.
Yes, Le Tigres. Club America is our next opponent.
Okay, I want to get that. So you can have that game and then sort of like later that week or whatever, you can have a game at BMO where you're playing an MLS game.
Correct.
In fact, when's our next MLS game?
Today.
Today we play in Montreal.
You're in Montreal?
Okay, so I read a stat, something about after we have one of these concave-caf type games or whatever, we always lose the MLS game.
Yeah, because it's usually a letdown.
Right.
That is interesting, though, because these MLS games are important
because we want to get a supportive shield or whatever,
but they aren't as important as these concage things.
Well, it's one, like it's a regular season game, right?
So it's like one of 32 games in the regular season.
But do we ever consider like we should rest Zivinko or something?
Yeah, so that's one of the interesting things that you get into
is how much of the, like the more tournaments you qualify for
sort of determine how good you've been,
but also then you have the depth of your roster comes into play
a lot more like i'm personally fascinated and i really do like i know a lot of the key guys on tfc
now because i watched those i watched a lot of the playoffs last year and stuff uh and so i feel like
uh like i'm a real fan now not just some like johnny come lately or whatever i feel i'm in
and i really like the fact like i said i was i really like the fact that we're in this concrete
cap so you said we're playing what team do we play in the semifinals?
So now we're playing Club America.
And what country is Club America located in?
They are from Mexico as well.
So how many, so okay, so we just played a Mexican team.
Now we're playing another one.
Correct.
Are there multiple leagues in Mexico?
No, there's one league.
How do they get two teams?
Well, there's multiple MLS teams in this as well.
So there's a certain amount of teams that qualify based on what league you're in.
The interesting thing is that on the other semifinal, there is, I can't remember the name of the, I think it's Panamanian team, but they're playing against New York Red Bulls.
And so if the New York Red Bulls win that and we win ours, the final of this CONCACAF Champions League
would be the New York Red Bulls against Toronto FC,
which would appear for the average Joe just to be another game,
but in reality would be another two-league championship for CONCACAF.
That's one of the knocks on MLS, which doesn't carry weight with me,
is because I live in Toronto and they will say things like,
okay, well, this is possibly the 11th best league in the world or they'll make up.
I don't know what the number would be, but there's a 10 leagues with better caliber players.
And I'll be like, okay, that's nice.
But, you know, I can't go bike to these games or whatever.
So, uh, I always, uh, understood that these leagues in Mexico had a higher caliber talent than MLS.
Correct.
these leagues in Mexico had a higher caliber talent than MLS.
Correct.
And this is the first time I think the, the overall,
um,
how do I say this?
The overall record of MLS teams in this particular tournament before this
year was actually really,
really shitty.
Um,
and so to have two teams now,
basically,
I think we,
I think it was like two and 18 or something like that.
MLS teams were,
um,
and, uh, you know, now to have two teams in the semifinals is just pretty amazing.
Cool. I am a little disappointed.
I actually thought it was the champion of each league that went to this tournament.
I didn't realize there's multiple MLS teams.
There is.
How come New York Red Bulls gets to go in there?
Because they qualified based on their performance in the league last year.
Okay.
So I'm looking at this.
Where is this?
Totalsporttech.com.
I don't know what website this is.
But this is from April 26, 2016.
Yeah.
The number one.
I'm not sure how they determined this.
But the number one league in the world, according to this, is La Liga in Spain.
Okay. And that's where Real Madrid
is. Yes.
I have to speak on behalf of
the Normans soccer people. And then the Premier League, which is
probably where most people are familiar, or most teams
are familiar with. Right, where Wayne Rooney
and those guys play. So then you go Germany,
Italy, Portugal, France,
Dutch,
Argentinian, Brazilian,
and then Major League Soccer is number 10.
Ahead of Mexico.
Yes, surprisingly.
I'm actually surprised by that.
But hey.
Hey, I love talking.
I learn so much from these discussions,
and then I talk to other people like I'm the expert
because I just remember what you told me,
and I say the same thing.
This is a big deal. If you want to just put it in simple terms if we can
win this trophy wow will there be another liberty village parade if we win this trophy I don't know
about that we'll see maybe okay maybe an impromptu one but I don't think there would be one there I
mean the fans would certainly have one but I don't think there would be one. I mean, the fans would certainly have one, but I don't think there would be one by the city.
Did you ever install Paytm?
No, I didn't.
Go to paytm.ca and install it.
Here's why.
Okay.
Not only do you get to pay all of your bills in one place and get reminders and all that interesting stuff,
but this is the thing to me.
I keep telling people, like, I really do use this
because I just paid my property taxes. Do you have property
taxes in Oshawa? Yeah, we do.
Amazingly high.
Shocking, but you have Costco rooms and stuff.
That's why. Okay, so
I pay your property.
Is that right? Yep. I didn't know that.
When you pay your property taxes for
Oshawa, when I pay
my Toronto ones, I don't have an option to pay
with my credit card. I have options. I can write a check. I can give cash in a unmarked ones, I don't have an option to pay with my credit card. Like, I have options.
I can write a check.
I can give cash
in an unmarked cash.
You don't put it
on your mortgage?
You can put it
on your mortgage.
You can direct deposit
from your bank account.
Yeah.
But there is no, like,
pay on your MasterCard, okay?
This does not exist.
But I can pay all my bills,
including my property taxes,
via PayTM
with my MasterCard.
Oh, that's a big plus, Mike.
Right.
So like my recent, I don't know, it was $555 or something.
I can't forget that number.
And I got so much points.
Like I can go to No Frills now and get some free groceries.
No Frills.
Yeah, that's where I bike over to the world.
Are you a PC Optimum member now?
Yes, I am.
Good for you.
I've combined my cards.
Did you hear Esso is now partnering with them?
Did I know that?
But I go to Esso because I tap my Esso Extra thing. Oh, yeah. Good for you. I've combined my cards. Did you hear SO is now partnering with them? Did I know that? But I go to SO because I tap my SOX.
Mine never works.
Oh, mine works every time.
I guess I'm a preferred customer.
I've tried it three times.
Three different types of things.
That's what it's called, SpeedPass.
So I always use Paytm.
But here's the thing.
Here's the kicker.
Here's what you've got to pay attention to.
When you go to Paytm.ca and you download the app for your smartphone and you make your first bill payment, you'll see a link,
enter promo code. You press that. You put in the promo code Toronto Mike, all one word. You get
$10 in what's called Paytm Cash, but you can use that cash towards paying bills. So if I get a $75
bill and I have, for example, I have $20 in Paytm cash. I apply that first. Now my $75 bill is only $55.
I slap the rest on my MasterCard.
I do that for all my bills.
Look at you.
No bullshit, man.
Look at you with the math.
No script, right?
That was amazing.
75 minus 20.
My son, James.
Like sometimes I'm-
75 minus 20.
Yeah, that I can do.
But James can do like really complex math quickly in his head.
He's like the the guy uh russell
crowe in that movie brilliant mind no beautiful mind beautiful mind you know uh broadcasting
genius when it comes to math howard stern doing math on the radio is one of his best bits oh yeah
well you know i used to listen to a lot of howard's got it fred's got the like cash register noise in
the background it's fucking great fred norris is the um he's the king yeah It's Turned. Fred's got the cash register noise in the background. It's fucking great. Fred Norris is the...
He's the king.
Yeah, he's underrated.
He's a Martian as well.
Did you know that?
And Robin's doing okay
because I actually am quite concerned about her.
I want her to be healthy and happy.
Apparently, they haven't really talked about it
a lot recently,
but it seems like she had another sort of issue,
but they didn't go into any detail about it.
Can you give blood?
So I was donating blood
the other day
and I had a questionnaire
and it had a million
by the way
I know they have to do this
and it's good to do it
but this is a really
invasive questionnaire
you do when you donate blood.
Yeah but it's also voluntary.
No of course it's voluntary.
Yes of course.
So it's like
have you had sex with a man
in the last six months?
There's a lot of questions
like have you ever
Steve Anthony can't do this.
It's like, have you ever snorted cocaine?
I'm thinking, how does that affect your blood?
But they ask, have you ever had sex for money?
Have you ever paid for sex?
Have you ever put a needle in your body
for any drug ever, even once?
So I don't think that that,
like the idea of paying for sex,
I don't think is what disqualifies you.
It's- It leads to you have led that put you in a position where you're now paying for sex.
I think that's obviously.
But one of the questions and the reason I'm asking is one of the questions is, have you ever been diagnosed with cancer?
That's one of my questions.
So after I got diagnosed, I was a regular donor.
I've donated.
I can't remember.
I got a card. I can't remember how many I donated a regular donor. I've donated, I can't remember how, I got a card.
I can't remember how many I donated,
how many times I've donated.
And I went into the blood clinic
because there was a permanent one near my house.
And so I walked in and I said, it was funny,
they were having a staff meeting, but the door was open.
They didn't have a close sign on it.
So like all of these women were sort of sitting around
in a circle,
clearly having a meeting. And I was like, Oh, Hey, sorry to interrupt. And they're like,
can we help you? And I was like, yeah, I just had like a really personal question I want to ask.
And they're like, okay, what is it? And I'm like, all right, I guess we're going to do this like
this. Uh, yeah. So I just got diagnosed with cancer and I wanted to know if I could still
donate blood. And then I think the supervisor immediately jumped out of her chair and realized
that this was not appropriate for them to put me in that position.
Right.
And sort of came over and we had a brief conversation.
A private discussion.
She's like, no, you're not eligible anymore.
Sorry.
Because I did notice, yeah.
Like, so the only one that tripped, not tripped, I guess tripped an alarm that caused follow-up questions for me was they asked, have you ever had a vaccination in the last six months?
And I said yes to that.
And then the nurse asked me what it was.
And then I answered.
What did you say, the flu shot?
Flu shot, yeah.
But I was wondering,
so the question for have you ever been diagnosed with cancer,
if you say yes.
You're disqualified.
Yeah, I wondered at it.
Yeah, that's it.
I can't do it.
Also, the tattoos.
I guess you know this,
but if you had any,
I don't know if it was was a time timeline with it but
if you ever had a tattoo is one probably before they made tattoos like have some sort of standard
but you know not reusing needles and stuff all these specific questions though like have you
ever had sex with somebody from these countries like well they're very all these specific well
there's controversy around the the whole homosexual but they changed it because it just
asked six months it It said six months.
Oh, is it six months?
If I had sex with a guy seven months ago, I don't have to.
But even then, why does that?
I don't know.
Well, it used to be, I think.
It was ever.
It was ever, yeah.
If you were a gay man, you can't give blood.
Correct.
Right.
Which is so weird.
But that's, yeah, well, yes, I know.
I know.
So I wondered about the cancer thing when I thought of you.
But okay, you can't give blood anymore.
No, it sucks.
Because I really, I think it's important for people to do and you know i only did it because rosie rosie's
son had something uh legionnaires to see i don't i don't want to get the wrong name forget i said
any name i don't know what it was he had something he's overcome it and he's fine but he had something
that in the she put out a plea like how, how important it is to have more blood on supply, whatever.
So I see this thing from Rosie, like, my dear
friend who says, like, and I realized
like, I'm a healthy guy who probably will
qualify because I haven't actually
put a needle in my arm for drugs, believe it
or not. Like, I just haven't. Have you donated
before this first time? No. This is the first time.
Oh, wow. I have a card coming
in the mail. I don't even know my blood type yet.
Yeah, I know. First time. Just the other day, and it was time. First time, yeah. I have a card coming in the mail. I don't even know my blood type yet. Yeah, I know. First time.
Cool.
Just the other day.
And it was great.
Good job, Mike.
Humboldt College, it was fun.
The funny thing doing at Humboldt College
is everybody is a teenager there
and these pimply-faced teenagers all around you.
And then I'm there with my white hair.
Like, I felt like the, you know,
hello, fellow kids.
But yeah, first time.
And I'm going to do it now every two months
because it was so painless and easy.
You know what you should look into
is donating platelets.
That's sort of like next level stuff.
I think it's like an hour, an hour and a half.
Okay, I don't even know about this.
They hook you up and
platelets are sort of like the
stuff that keeps your blood all together
kind of thing. And they take
it out, take the blood out of you,
separate the platelets and then put the
blood back in you. Cool.
Yeah, it's very cool. But it's more time
intensive, but it's cool. And the best part
by the way was at the end, I sat in the seat,
these volunteers, and they had these big
containers and all these cookies
and craisins and crackers and stuff, and all
these juices and pops and everything, and they're like,
just chill out. I was like, I can just have these
cookies? Yeah. That was the best part. And juice.
Yeah, juice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Juice and cookies, I'm like, I honestly, I can just have these cookies? Yeah. That was the best part. And juice. Yeah, juice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Juice and
cookies. I'm like, I honestly, I would
donate for the cookies. Yeah. Amazing.
You ready to kick out some guilty pleasure?
And I'm really, I'm going to play these
jams, and I want to hear, like, why
you dig it, and why it's a guilty pleasure.
And I'm worried you're going to say some of mine are not
guilty, and maybe I'll say that about you, but let's have an open
discussion about this. Sure. Here's your, and I
don't know if these are in order, but I'm just going to play the ones
you sent me. Ready?
Oh boy.
This is the one that I am most
embarrassed about. I almost
went and saw these guys at
Rama. Holy fuck. By myself.
This is the one that I thought was
most embarrassing. Yeah, it is.
So, most embarrassing. Yeah, it is. So
I'm lying alone
with my head on the phone
thinking of you
till it hurts.
I know you hurt
too, but what else can
we do?
I wish I could carry your smile in my heart.
For times when my life seems so cheesy.
It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring.
When today doesn't really know.
Doesn't really know. I'm all out of love. Wow.
So I didn't go see these guys at Rama.
These guys are Air Supply.
Air Supply, yes.
From Australia.
And I didn't go see them because I read the reviews
and apparently they can't sing at all anymore.
And what they do is they just crank the music up really loud. you really can't even hear them very much but it's the original people
yeah yeah it's the same two guys i don't know i don't know anything about air supply yeah yeah
me neither uh other than that because i did some googling but that's a girl's voice we just heard
no no it's two men it's two men but that voice we just heard no it's this song like i know this
song since i was a kid yeah it's a famous song, but I never cared to pay attention to it. Yeah, so they're all, I mean, yeah.
I have Air Supply on my phone, like downloaded on my phone,
so I don't have to worry about being on Wi-Fi if I ever wanted to hear them.
And all it does is it just reminds me of being a kid.
My mom loves Air Supply, and it just makes me think of childhood memories.
And it's also, it was my go-to album whenever I got dumped.
And so I would sort of drown my misery.
Why are you turning it louder?
Because this is a dude?
Yes.
Wow.
Just high.
No wonder he can't sing anymore.
Okay, sorry.
Every time I would get dumped,
wonder he can't sing anymore okay sorry every time i would get dumped i would my go-to sort of self-pity album was air supplies greatest hits unbelievable like uh so horrible to me this is
the worst of the worst and i this is guilty pleasure jam so i shouldn't even be like judging
of course you you had the balls to bring a guilty pleasure like this to the table. Yeah. What?
It kind of reminds me of Bread.
It's horrible.
Remember the band Bread?
No.
Here it is.
Here it is.
I'm all out of love.
I'm so lost without you. It's a guy.
I know you were right.
Believing for so long.
I'm all out of love fly Gets me every time.
But the story about your mommy,
I can call her your mommy,
that's the missing piece of the puzzle.
Sure.
That makes me think of being in the car
or being in the living room with her
as she put this on the record player.
But can I,
you on this same show,
you've kind of
needled me a little bit because
of my fondness for nostalgia
by saying, like, you don't,
you're not into nostalgia, but
you, this is nostalgia, that this
song takes you back to a simpler time.
No, I think the difference is that I don't hold
this, I don't hold on to this and
think of this as the greatest thing ever.
Like, I feel like... But it's on your iPod right now.
You're holding on to a Humble and Fred morning show
coming back and being the greatest morning show ever.
You don't know me at all.
You're wrong.
I'm done with that.
I don't think Maestro is the best rapper.
I enjoy the jams I enjoyed when I was a teenager by Maestro Fresh West
because it brings me back.
I do not think he's a better rapper than Drake, for example.
I don't have any of that.
I don't think Humble and Fred is the best morning show,
but that is the show I listened to in the 90s,
and that's a bad example because I'm actually personal friends with those guys.
So let's leave that in that moment.
Although I know they don't listen because Fred has told me,
Mike, I don't listen to any podcasts.
How can you call yourself a podcaster
when you don't know what anyone else is doing in the medium?
Come on, you need to say it.
I don't think that's true at all.
I'm going to take Fred's thing here.
I don't think you need to have listened to people on the radio
to be a good radio broadcaster.
The fact that it's a podcast is just a technical fact.
It's your radio show you've been doing since the 90s.
You just record it and call it a podcast.
Yeah.
Okay.
Air Supply, All Out of Love.
That's definitely...
Horrible.
Now, these are songs I think I'm embarrassed to say I like.
I'm afraid I can't measure up to that one.
I have a little anxiety here.
The rest of mine are not that bad.
They're bad, but not that bad.
You pick songs with guitars in them?
I didn't...
These are songs I think it's not cool.
How is this a guilty pleasure? I didn't read. These are songs I think it's not cool. How is this a guilty pleasure?
I'll explain myself.
You love Pearl Jam.
This is not Pearl Jam.
Or whatever fucking...
Pearl Jam is not a guilty pleasure
because it's okay to like Pearl Jam.
This is not Pearl Jam.
This is...
I always get these guys mixed up.
This is Temple of the Dog?
No, it's fine to like... there's no guilty pleasure in a temple.
In fact, it's cool to like Temple of the Dog.
So why is this a guilty pleasure?
I'll explain.
Let it brew a little bit.
Get to that peak that I love.
This might be the only...
See, trust me.
This might be the only way I will listen to Eddie Vedder.
It's not Eddie Vedder.
It's Temple of the Dogs.
No, it's not.
There's no guilty pleasure in liking an Eddie Vedder song.
Oh, this is great.
This is great.
There's no guilty pleasure in liking an Eddie Vedder song.
Is this Yetters?
No, this is not.
He's fantastic.
Oh!
So I held my head up high.
Do you listen to this in church?
Hold on.
Give me a moment.
Give me a moment.
It's brewing.
It's coming.
Okay, I'll talk about while we wait for it to brew up again.
So, there's absolutely nothing cool,
nothing to be gained by saying you like Creed, okay?
Creed isn't, forget Nickelback.
Nickelback's a whole different category.
Creed is worse than Nickelback, in my opinion.
Like, I could have put a Nickelback jam I liked like on there but no creed to me this is the uh
imitating eddie vetter and pearl jam because that is definitely despite your dislike for pearl jam
saying you like a pearl jam song or eddie vetter is not a guilty pleasure i was just gonna say that
this is this is the 90s gone wrong should have been dead on a Sunday morning. I love it.
It's horrible.
This is when Grunge started to die,
is when you had this horrible imitation of it.
But listen, I'll listen to Creed.
Should have been dead on a Sunday morning.
Doesn't that sound great?
It's not great.
Okay, well, it's not great.
It's my guilty pleasure that jam
this jam we're listening to now
you go to your
I don't know if you have any colleagues
who know who Creed is
okay
but you go to somebody
and say
oh
I really like Creed's
this is called
My Own Prison
I'm telling you
it's so uncool man
it's a guilty pleasure
I wonder if
they still tour
I don't Scott Staff is the guy's name and I'm pretty sure It's a guilty pleasure. I wonder if they still tour?
I don't.
Scott Staff is the guy's name,
and I'm pretty sure he's in a ditch right now,
half in the bag.
I don't think they're touring anywhere. They love God.
Yeah.
They were like a God.
You know what's funny?
If you Google Creed now,
the movie comes up first.
But I'm a little surprised.
Your initial reaction of like,
this is not a guilty pleasure because there's guitar is so
misguided.
Listen, this is where
I've pushed these guys
way down deep.
Again, I admit this is
the 90s gone wrong
because he is an
Eddie Veteran
impersonator.
I have more 90s
gone wrong coming up.
It's an Eddie
Veteran impersonator.
I apologize.
I know I'm going to
get crucified for this
on your stupid blog
now.
No, come on.
But yeah, I support this as a guilty pleasure.
Thank you.
I want to see what they're doing right now, though.
I'm pretty sure they're not doing anything.
They sold a lot of albums, no doubt.
93 to 2004 and then 2009 to 2012.
You know, I saw them in concert.
Oh, God.
They headlined an edge fest at Molson Park in Berrien.
I was there.
And ready for this?
I enjoyed it.
Creed is often recognized as one of the prominent acts of the post-grunge movement that began
in the mid-1990s.
They've sold 53 million albums worldwide.
Wow.
Ninth best-selling artist of the 2000s.
But Air Supply
sold a lot of albums, too.
Ninth best in the 2000s.
I'm about to jack it up
and get off here.
You're going to get off?
I hope I put those words
in the right order.
Ready? Don't do that.
Don't do that.
Fuck, man.
I'm telling you now,
there's nothing cool about liking that jam,
and I love that jam.
Don't tell anybody, okay?
I'm not recording this.
Air Supply's been around since 1975.
Russell Hitchcock and Graham Russell.
They have the same last name and first name.
It matches.
Russell.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
They should have called their band the Russells.
It's ridiculous.
Ask for money and get advice.
Ask for advice, get money twice.
I'm from the dirty, but that chick go nice.
Y'all call it a moment.
I call it life.
One day while the light is glowing
I'll be in my castle moment
But I'm too big to get inside
I just wanna feel this moment
I just wanna feel this moment Hold on. Here it comes.
That's a take on me.
Uh-huh.
Christina Aguilera.
Christina Aguilera.
Here we go.
So I don't care what anyone says.
Christina Aguilera has a great voice.
Pitbull can put together a good song.
This reminds me of dance parties with my kids when they were younger.
They loved this song.
It's got everything that a kid likes in sort of like pop music.
Yeah, it'sy as all hell.
It's also good to run to.
So it gives you that little extra hip hop in your step when you're running.
So yeah, it's on my phone as well.
I will listen to this.
It's on my sort of run jam when I do run with music.
And I'm not afraid to say I like Christina Aguilera's voice.
I think she's a really good singer. In my opinion, she's not the guilty
pleasure part of this jam. It's Christina.
Pitbull is. Oh, Pitbull.
Pitbull's got a lot of good songs.
In my home, Pitbull is a punchline.
When we talk about weak
rap or weak pop,
the worst of the worst,
Pitbull is where we go to. He's more kind of like that
R&B
hip-hop. He's horrible. He's more kind of like that R&B hip hop.
He's horrible.
Like he's horrible but this is a guilty pleasure.
Totally.
Yeah.
I'm not suggesting this is good.
I mean
it brings
brings me to a good place
but it's horrible.
And I love this
this A-ha
take on me.
I got nostalgia going right now.
I love this song.
It's horrible.
Can we not play the whole thing? Fine. We're playing love this song. It's horrible. Can we not play the whole thing?
Fine.
We're playing the whole thing.
It's horrible.
See, okay.
Christina's fine.
The a-ha sample is great.
This part, listen.
No, he's terrible.
He's absolutely horrible.
And Peter Bullitt from Great Lakes Beer kicked out the jams.
And his first jam was a Pitbull song.
Amazing.
I know.
And I was like, you have a pair of balls on you, brother.
You brought a Pitbull jam.
I'm trying to see how many.
Oh, he sells a lot of records, I bet.
I don't know if anyone sells records anymore, but he's very popular.
Holy shit, he's got a ton of albums.
Because he's tapped into that Hispanic market, which is very hot.
Yes.
He also has a lot of kids, I think.
Are they all the same woman?
No.
Well, that doesn't count then.
Bob Marley's got a lot of kids, but there's like many women.
Horrible.
But I am banging my head to this because I can't help it.
Horrible.
He's won a Grammy.
I believe it.
For best Hispanic.
What's the term for that?
Latin.
Latin.
Latino. Latin. Latin. He's won two MMVAs.
Two Latin Grammys.
By the way, I now realize how much
I adore the Guilty Pleasure Jam.
You need to come back every week and kick out
Guilty Pleasure Jam. I love this.
I could talk to you about the ones I left off. Save them because we'll do a part two. You need to come back every week and kick out Guilty Pleasure Jam. I love this. I could talk to you about the ones I left off.
Well, save them because we'll do
a part two. You ready?
Yeah.
More guitar.
This is a great song.
It's funny that you picked this version.
Well, that's the Guilty Pleasure. If you picked the George Michael version, it's not a guilty pleasure.
Are you sure?
Yeah, I'm sure.
Because that was a popular top 40 that everybody liked.
That's okay to like that song.
This version in 2018, it's this band, I should say, saying I like a Fred Durst song from Limp Bizkit.
You try to say that in front of a bunch of people.
Now, hold on, hold on, because I still love this cover.
Here it comes. Ready, ready, ready?
Oh my god. My heart's beating
So fast right now
Gonna have faith
Another band I saw
Live in concert
Ready ready
Faith
Baby
Oh my god
Okay so
This is a cover
Of George Michael
Faith
By uh
Of course
By $3 bill
From uh
Limp Bizkit
And I don't give a shit
What you think
I love
This song
I don't think This is a you think. I love this song.
I don't think this is a guilty pleasure, but okay. It's Limp Bizkit.
It's Fred Durst.
Limp Bizkit.
I think the original is more of a guilty pleasure.
I disagree.
I disagree completely.
Like, I disagree about Coco.
I think this is you taking your love for this song
and trying to make it cool somehow.
No.
This is me thinking in 2018,
saying you love a Limp Bizkit song
is the least cool thing on the planet. It's worse than Pitbull, I think. No. This is me thinking in 2018, saying you love a Limp Bizkit song is the least cool thing on the planet.
It's worse than Pitbull, I think.
No.
Hold on.
Did this really just come out last year?
No, 1997. I thought you said it come out last year? No, 1997.
I thought you said it came out last year.
No, no, no.
This is from $3 Bill, y'all.
I don't think Limp Bizkit's done anything a long time ago.
They were like a post-grunge, new metal type deal.
Yeah, they were kind of like a precursor to...
So you really think it's more of a guilty pleasure
to the George Michael version than this
Limp Bizkit version? Yeah. Don't get me wrong.
Don't get me wrong. I think the original
is fantastic, but...
So do I.
Listen to how cheesy
and awful that is.
What band am I thinking of that these guys
were a precursor to that was a heavy metal
with the... Oh, a lot of bands.
Linkin Park. Korn? Linkin Park.
That's who I'm thinking of the uh corn is actually good yeah corn was
like the best of this style i would say yeah yeah and they still sell out like they're
they're still a decent yeah jonathan davies whatever corn yeah so corn is the best of this
genre if you will but this genre uh is dead. And anything associated with the genre is like super guilty pleasure now.
I'll fade it down because this part isn't like that faith part.
But I'm telling you, to say you like George Michael's faith, there's nothing wrong with that.
That's like saying I like Madonna's True Blue or whatever.
Or I like A Virgin or whatever.
These are popular pop songs.
It's okay to like popular pop songs.
The guilty pleasure part comes
from the fact this is Limp Bizkit at their
1990, whatever, 7 worst.
That's Fred Durst
screaming. It's just
awful. It really is awful and I love it.
Are they? Yep. According to
Wikipedia, they were together
94 to 2006 and then 2009 to present.
I know every single lyric.
Well, sing along, bud.
No.
Even I know the words to this song.
Go ahead.
I know the actions and everything.
I should get Monica down here.
I think this is one of her jams.
I should get Monica down here.
I think this is one of her jams.
This is the one I had to think about.
So, okay.
So this is that too, boys.
My apologies.
I don't know what that was.
A little scratch there.
This is, what's his name?
Nick Carter.
Who I played slow pitch with. I played softball with him. Oh, you did? Yeah.
Have I never told you that story?
Maybe you did. On Canada Day in
2003, I played a game. My buddy
Mofo said, you want to play ball? And I said, yep.
And I had no idea. He didn't want to tell
me because he was afraid I'd only come for that or whatever.
So I go to play ball, and Nick Carter
is one of the guys playing ball with us.
Was he here filming something or something?
One of my buddies, Greg
Faye, was a friend of his
family or something. So they were visiting
like Mill Street
in Etobicoke.
This is a horrible song.
Oh my God.
Can I tell you what I like about this song?
I was listening to a lot of Howard Stern when he did like a, what was their band called?
The Losers?
The Losers, yeah.
The Losers did a version of this song.
Oh, did they?
Where they changed the words.
And they did I Went the Gay Way.
Yes, yeah.
So they did two.
And so when I hear this, I think of the Howard Stern stuff.
Ah, gotcha.
But it is a horrible song.
It's horrible.
All their songs are horrible.
This is a horrible song. It's horrible. All their songs are horrible. This is a guilty pleasure.
They were big in my first year in university.
And we used to just make fun of these guys relentlessly.
Can you name all the members of the Backstreet Boys?
Brian Luttrell.
Nick Carter.
Brian had the really blue eyes.
TJ?
AJ?
AJ's the guy who drove his car into a wall or something.
The tall guy.
Tall guy with the black hair who never really sang very much.
Kevin?
Kevin, that's right.
Yes, Kevin.
And you're missing the guy who came out of the closet shortly there. Oh, uh...
Lance Bass. No, he's
from NSYNC, isn't he? Oh my gosh, you're
right. I get those two confusing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Who's the other guy? I'm better at the
New Kids on the Block. It's the Latino guy.
Um... What's he called,
Monica? Backstreet
Boys.
So... Howie D.
Howie.
Howie D.
Kevin Richardson.
That's the tall guy with the black hair.
Okay.
So, when I was younger and I was listening to a lot of CFTR, the new kids on the block
broke and they played a lot of stuff.
Yes.
So much.
And I knew their names.
And I knew Mark Wahlberg.
And I knew Danny Wood.
And I knew Jordan Knight.
Jordan Knight, Jonathan Knight.
Jonathan Knight, who dated Tiffany, but then came out of the closet.
And then the kid.
Oh, yeah.
Give me a second.
Don't tell me yet.
Had a really high voice.
Yeah.
And he was super young.
And he might have had a solo career after.
Yep, yep.
Oh, my gosh. What's his name?
Not Danny.
Joey McIntyre.
Joey McIntyre. Holy smokes.
So I knew them better and I didn't really know
NSYNC at all except for Justin Timberlake.
But I knew a little bit of Backstreet Boys
because of the Howard Stern stuff.
The reason why I know these guys is because
they were huge because of their videos.
Yeah. Much music played the mess out of these guys is because they were huge because of their videos. Yeah, much music
made a mess out of these guys.
Yeah, this was the big video era,
and that's how I know them.
So was it difficult to choose
which of your favorite
Backstreet Boys songs
would be the guilty pleasure?
Well, I guess it would be this one
or the Everyone...
Everybody!
Yeah, Backstreet Speck.
That's the one, yeah.
Backstreet Speck.
Horrible. Horrible, so bad. Yeah, so I one. Backstreet Spack. Horrible.
Horrible.
So bad.
Yeah.
So I concur.
This is a guilty pleasure.
Horrible.
Agreed.
Now you can keep shitting.
All my guilty pleasures you say are not guilty pleasures, even though I played a Creed song
and a Limp Bizkit song.
Here we go with another 90s song.
Let's go.
Not 90s.
Oh, I love this song.
Is this a guilty pleasure?
I love this.
Yeah.
Mike Wilner.
I fucking.
Mike Wilner. fucking Mike Wilner
Do you hear that?
I don't care
It's not
For me
I don't care
Who knows
I love Miley Cyrus
Fuck it
I like her too a lot
And this is my favorite
Miley Cyrus jam
And when this comes on
Ask my kids man
Clear the dance floor
I'm going fucking off
And I'm jacking it up to 11
I think
iTunes used to give you
Let's let it be Like I don't care I'm jacking it up to 11. I think iTunes used to give you...
Let's let it be.
I even like the video.
It's such a great pop song, right? It's all great.
Fucking great. Fucking great.
I love this.
The one I cut to do this one was Kelly Clarkson's Since You've Been Gone.
I love that song too.
Which I love too.
Love it.
But I went with this one.
I almost went with Kelly Clarkson.
At one point in time, iTunes used to be, I don't know if you still can,
it used to give you the ranking of your most played songs. used to be, I don't know if you still can, it used to like give you like the most,
the ranking of your most played songs.
Oh, yeah, I remember this.
Yes, yes, yes.
This and Wrecking Ball
were one, two, three.
And it still might be.
I mean, it's the greatest.
And she's so good.
Like she does a pop song like this,
but she'll also do like a cover
of her godmother,
who is Dolly Parton.
Correct.
Jolene.
Yeah, it's great.
And it's like,
I can't get enough of her.
Well, she can actually sing. She's great. And it's very, I can't get enough of her. Well, she can actually sing.
She's great.
I don't think it's cool
to say you love Miley Cyrus.
Especially as a 40-something man.
Right.
Because then you're kind of a creepo.
And in this phase,
she was kind of being ridiculous.
Right.
So it was really tough at this time.
She was interviewed by Stern.
And it was a really good interview.
And it apparently took her a long time.
She loves Howard.
It took her a long time to be on the show because she was so worried about what she would say.
Sure.
I get that.
And, of course, my daughter, who's 13 now, grew up watching Hannah Montana.
That's right.
I watched this girl as a kid.
So seeing this Hannah, not Hannah, what is her name?
Miley.
This Miley was like, oh, she's not a little girl anymore.
She's sexy Miley.
Yeah, like what's this about?
But she's a great singer, which is what I'm looking for in a song.
It's our body, we can do what a song. And I love this part.
This part right here, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
And we can't stop
And we won't stop
Don't judge us, man.
This is just a great jam.
I don't care.
I love this song.
Oh, I don't care.
That's the whole point.
I don't give a fuck.
I love this song so much.
And we won't stop I don't care. That's the whole point. I don't give a fuck. I love this song so much.
I don't care.
Who knows it?
Come on out.
I love Miley.
Let the record show.
Both Elvis and Toronto Mike love We Can't Stop by Miley Cyrus. Now contrast this with my top five songs of all time.
Oh, yeah. Or top ten, whatever top five songs of all time. Oh yeah.
Top ten, whatever it was.
All the epic. Yes.
Epicness and then that. November Rain.
Holy smokes.
Here's a similar pop song. Let's kick out another guilty pleasure jam from Elvis.
Horrible.
horrible do you ever feel
Miley's better
that's what I'm gonna say
drifting through the wind
oh boy
Russell Brand
couldn't get away
fast enough
from me
like a house of cards
one blow from caving in
do you ever feel
and unlike Miley
I don't think Katie's
a very good singer like it's a catchy jam think Katie's a very good singer.
I guess a catchy jam, but she's not a good singer.
She definitely needs background vocals.
Like she needs to double up.
Let's analyze this singing performance.
Yeah, exactly. And let it shine Just on the night
Like the 4th of July
Cause baby you're a fire
She doesn't have the pipes.
Is this song in a kids movie?
I don't know.
But here, this is the funny,
this is how truly guilty pleasure this is.
So when we put together dance parties at the house,
you know, they're definitely Team Taylor Swift way more than anything else.
And so, you know, we put together a mix,
and it would be all of their songs.
Like, they get to choose which songs, right?
Because it's their, I would always slip this song in,
and it would come on, and it would like, like the needle off the record. They would be like would always slip this song in and it would come on and it would like
like the needle off the record they would be like really what is this song
like they like it but it wasn't like part of their choice and i'd be like oh that's so weird how did this song get in here and then meanwhile daddy's like i love this song i'm up there dancing
by myself but they're sort of like okay let, let's change the song, dad. That's funny. I love this song.
I don't know why.
I think it's in Sing.
The movie Sing
that we talked about
with Elton John.
I think it's in there.
But it's a catchy
little ditty, man.
Yeah,
I think it's a
catchy song.
She was huge.
Well, let me ask you this.
Is any pop single a guilty pleasure?
Well, I think, again, when you look at our top ten songs sort of playlist.
Oh, it's because we're 40-something-year-old guys. Correct.
If we were like 14-year-old girls, these are not guilty pleasures.
This is just our mainstream life.
This is not our
jam, as Jarvis
would say.
But, hey,
I may have secretly put this on.
And she, of course,
did the halftime show at the Super Bowl.
And I believe she closed with this.
I remember this song being part of her medley.
My kids like Roar.
It's their favorite Katy Perry song.
And they like the video and stuff.
But I would always slip this one in.
I like Kiss the Girl.
That's a creepy one, though.
I kissed a girl and I liked it?
That's creepy?
Yeah.
I think it's hot.
That would be a creepy Gu I liked it that's creepy yeah that would be
a creepy
guilty
I'm sure it was
consensual kissing
that was the only
time that he's
that she's ever
been on Howard Stern
was just after that
song
one thing I can say
about Katy Perry
is she cannot dance
like if you ever
watch her
they try to make her
like do like
prop stuff and stuff
because you can't
put her out there like and have her stuff because you can't put her out there
like and have her dance
when you're choreographing
she's no Lady Gaga
that's for sure
no
Lady Gaga can dance
Lady Gaga
I like her best
when Lady Gaga's
in front of a piano
that's what I like
she can play her instruments
she's talented
horrible
okay this next
guilty pleasure for me is a nostalgia track,
a song I worshipped as a very young man.
And I'm going to play the version.
There were multiple versions of this song,
but this was the version I recorded the cassette and I worshipped.
Let's just play it and then I'll talk about it.
Wow.
Yeah. Punker, punker Superstar
Superstar
Superstar
Superstar
Idol
Idol
Idol I don't know. 1756, Salzburg, January 27, Wolfgang Amadeus is born.
1761, at the age of five, Amadeus begins composing.
1773, he writes his first piano concerto.
It's a full education here.
1782, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
marries Constance Weber.
I don't think I've ever heard this version.
1784, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
becomes a Freemason.
Or at least, for me to remember.
1791, Mozart composes
the Magic Flute.
Once it's over, I'll tell you why this version exists.
On the 75th of that same year, Mozart dies.
1985, Austrian rock singer Falco records.
Okay, so he's from Austria and his songs are all,
well, he's dead now, that's sad.
He died quite young in a car accident, I think.
But Falco, as he was known, recorded in German.
And this was one of his big hits, even here, in German.
It was all in German.
It was about Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.
And this was like the version, a remix of the song that had English in it.
Like that whole narration there is in English.
Like his song is still going to be in German.
And I had this version on cassette, somehow recorded it from the radio that had English in it. Like, that whole, like, narration there is in English. Like, his song's still going to be in German, but...
And I had this version on cassette,
somehow recorded it from the radio or something,
and I so loved it.
Like, I played it over and over again.
I couldn't believe how good this song is.
Rocky Amadeus.
Do you have any idea how many official remixes there were?
I don't know, but I know there was one...
The gold mix was, like, the German one, the gold mix was like the German one
which you'd find
on the album
if you went and bought
the album.
That's the original version.
And this one,
I can't remember the name
they called this.
You'll tell me in a minute,
but this version
with the English narration
of the history of Mozart
had a name,
like the something,
the Gugliari remix
or something.
So there are 17 official remixes of this song
starting with the original version then there's the extended version then there's the celerity
this is that yeah the celerity this one yeah the celerity version is this one then there's the
short celerity version and there's a special celerity version american edit canadian edit
canadian slash american edit extended american edit, Canadian slash American edit, extended American edit,
club mix 91, radio remix 91, instrumental remix 91, live version 85, live version 86,
symphonic remix 2008, live symphonic version 1994, and then Falco biography mix 2010.
Holy smokes.
And then that's like not even including the Simpsons version
and all those other ones.
That's great too.
Dr. Zayas.
Dr. Zayas.
Yes, because Troy McClure liked fish.
Which is interesting that the best picture at the recent Oscar Awards
was Shape of Water.
That's right.
A woman loves a fish. That's right. A Woman Loves a Fish.
That's right.
Simpsons did it first.
Fish Called Selma.
Right, Fish Called Selma.
I never knew Falco was dead.
Long dead.
1980, 1998.
Yeah, he was like 40.
40, exactly 40. And I remember because I was, 1980 1998 yeah he was like 40 40
exactly 40
and I remember
because I was
I mean I only knew
two songs from the guy
I knew Rock Me on the Day
as the commissioner
those are the two songs
I knew by Falco
and I liked them both
but I really liked
this one a lot
and I remember
reading the paper
he had died
he was under the influence
of alcohol and cocaine
and like ran into a bus
was he on the Autobahn or something?
No, it was in the Dominican Republic.
Austrian rock singer Falco records Rock Me On My Disc.
Yes, 1985.
So I'm older than you.
So I'm like 11 years old when this comes out.
I was first introduced to this song when it was sort of already in parody format.
Like Weird Al Yankovic had a
had sampled this and went and sang it.
But check out this part, okay?
And in the headphones too.
Like for an 11 year old this stuff blew my mind like this part for some reason this part was like so amazing to me what's he doing there he is the best-selling austrian singer of all time
he sold 20 million albums and this break like this chick comes in now with a whole different part.
Like, what is this part,
which is great?
And this is English, too.
It's in English.
Yeah.
Johan Hans Holzkopf.
That's his real name?
He's not a real Falco?
He's not really Falco.
And I like 99 Luftballons by...
What's her name?
Lina?
Nina?
Nina?
And this was like the second German song I loved.
So I love two German songs.
Du hast?
That came much later.
But yes, absolutely.
That's a third.
So this is like almost nine minutes,
but this version,
which you had never heard before,
is the version.
He got all these parts to it
tied together by that great beat.
He got that whole narration at the beginning,
which is amazing.
That whole 1985,
that's Austrian rock singer Falco records.
I just think it's great. And this chick part that just reaches which is amazing. That whole 1985 if that's Austrian rock singer Falco records. I just think it's great.
And this chick part
that just reaches past,
amazing.
And I don't know
if it's a guilty pleasure or not,
but...
This is definitely
a guilty pleasure.
Look at this.
You don't need any language
for this.
Horrible. See, it's like almost nine minutes.
I actually wish it was like 19 minutes. I just wanted to keep going.
He was so severely intoxicated all the time
that the writing process revolved around his inability to be coherent
to even stand for a long time.
That's why this part exists.
He's just going,
He has a daughter,
Katharina.
Oh, like Katharina Witt.
Oh no, hold on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, this is the home stretch here.
Epic nine-minute remix of an Austrian song
that I have loved since 1985.
She wrote a book.
Falco was my father.
I'm going to see if the library will put that on hold for me.
I just picked up today.
I picked up this Neil Young visual history.
It is the most amazing book.
It cost me nothing.
I just put it on hold, and it came to the new Toronto library.
I can pick it up.
Isn't that a wonderful system?
I hope Premier Doug Ford does not get rid of all of our libraries.
He has nothing to do with that.
He has nothing to do with libraries?
No. Promise? It's do with libraries? No.
Promise?
It's a Toronto thing?
Yeah.
Okay.
Just making sure you can't close all my libraries.
I'm fascinated with Falco now.
But yeah, dude, that's horrible.
And you picked the longest, shittiest version of it, too.
My favorite version is what I picked.
The longest, shittiest version of a shitty song.
It was my favorite version, okay?
Oh, yes. Speaking of the devil. It's hard to be loose
To rush the dangerous
I'm gonna run right to the edge with you
Where we can both fall in love
I'm on the edge
Elvis is dancing!
So when my oldest girl was just a baby baby this was the only song that we could
that she would go to sleep to and so i remember holding her and doing a little dad bop dance thing
to this um and she used to watch the video and stuff all the time and then so it's more it's
because of great memories of my oldest.
But then she was on Lady Gaga, that is, not my daughter,
was on Howard Stern and did an a cappella version of the song.
It's just, I mean, you want to hear someone who can actually sing.
I think you're a better father than me because your guilty pleasures
all have stories about your love for your children.
Mine don't.
Not Backstreet Boys.
Not Backstreet Boys.
Lady Gaga, who is Stephanie, I think is her name.
I think her name is Stephanie.
She's Italian descent.
She is.
Is that why you like her?
No.
Just like Madonna.
Ciccone.
That's right.
Ciccone, yeah.
But Madonna's real name is Madonna, isn't it?
Yeah, it is real.
Madonna Ciccone, yeah.
She's from Detroit, you know.
Is she from Detroit?
I think she's from Detroit.
I don't know. Lady Gaga's from New York, right you know. Is she from Detroit? I think she's from Detroit. I don't know.
Lady Gaga's from New York, right?
Yes.
Long Island, maybe?
I don't know.
Anyway, New York for sure.
Let's see.
So this is your Lady Gaga jam, but you've got a beautiful story.
But I'm more of a just dance guy.
I just can't believe she's only 31 do you know she's I saw a documentary about her and she has a
what's that called myalgia there's a disease which you have this pain and you
can't figure out what's causing it yeah didn't she have like hip surgery or
something she's like yeah I don't know but she just did she just do the Super
Bowl half-time show she just did that right oh no the time before yeah who just did it it was um justin timber okay okay so the time before that i think
last year was uh lady gaga and you know can you do you know the origin of her name
gaga i do not it is the queen song radiohmm. Oh, wow. I love that song.
Yeah, I like it too.
But that's not a guilty pleasure jam.
This part's a bit disco-y.
I feel like dancing.
She dances awkwardly in the video too when she does this.
That's the only way I know how to dance.
This was my best idea ever when I thought, let's just do guilty pleasure jams.
I think I should get a Pulitzer for this idea.
You really want a Pulitzer.
Or a Canada Screen Award.
Even Darren Dreger's won a Gemini Award.
Do you know that?
He has.
Yeah.
So they're handing him out like candy.
Hilarious. And I'm hanging on a moment of truth Out on the edge of glory
And I'm hanging on a moment with you
I'm on the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge
The edge, the edge, the edge
I'm on the edge of glory
And I'm hanging on a moment with you
Out on the edge with you Right?
It's a good one.
Melton.
It's a tremendous pop single.
She can actually sing too.
Yeah, she's a good singer.
And I like that she can play the piano and stuff.
I think she's talented.
She's very artsy, so sometimes she gets a little lost in the show.
I would say lost in the plot.
Like she can be a bit, what's the word?
Esoteric?
Is that a word?
She's not, yeah, she's like not the Taylor Swift sort of bubblegum pop all the time.
Right.
When she did that whole thing with Tony Bennett, like a whole album with him and stuff.
Yes, she did.
And Tony Bennett did something with Amy Winehouse.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
She titled it Amy Winehouse.
There's no guilty pleasure there.
She was great.
She could sing too.
Yeah.
Okay, good jam there, Elvis.
So what, is that one left each?
One, no, that was your last one.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So one left for you.
You each got five.
One left for me.
Now, I need to preface this by saying,
the reason this is a guilty,
so this is a jam.
If you went right now and asked James, Michelle,
I don't think you could ask the little but you can ask james and michelle uh what's
your dad's favorite like guilty pleasure single like where he just thinks it's a tremendous single
and he busts a move and goes along with it the reason this is a guilty pleasure is because the
artist who recorded this song is a very bad man like you know what i mean it's one of those like
you know how you can't you can't Brown song or whatever? Gary Glitter?
No, that's Rock and Roll Part 2.
Can you name two Gary?
No one can name a second one.
Can you name a second?
I think he had a Christmas song.
But okay, let me just kick this off.
I love this fucking jam
and I know this guy's a horrible person,
but I still, today, love this jam. Go ahead on break them off with a little previews of the remix. Now I'm not trying to be rude.
But hey, pretty girl, I'm feeling you.
The way you do the things you do.
Reminds me of my Lexus cool.
That's why I'm all up in your grill.
Trying to get you to a hotel.
You must be a football coach.
The way you got me playing the field.
So baby, give me that.
Let me get it.
Running her head through my fro.
Bouncing on 24.
This is why they say it on the radio.
It's the remix to Ignition.
Hot and fresh out the kitchen.
Mama rolling that body.
Got every man in here wishing.
Sipping on coke and rum.
I'm like the one I'm drunk.
It's the freaking weekend.
Baby, I'm about to have some fun.
So this is definitely out of my wheelhouse.
Okay.
I certainly have heard this before.
I know the song.
And this is the remix.
I don't, the original, no.
It has to be the remix.
This is the Ignition remix.
Is this R. Kelly?
R. Kelly?
Yes.
And I know, I know what he's up to.
And I know what he's done.
And I understand.
I know everything about Leah.
And I know everything.
I won't have a coffee with this man.
Okay?
Right.
I fucking love the Ignition remix
Even today
That's a guilty pleasure right there
It's like saying I love the Cosby show today
Can you say you love the Cosby show today?
Sure
Can I still tell you that I love
The Usual Suspects of Kevin Spacey?
Is that okay?
Oh thank goodness
I still like Louis stuff Everything Louis did i still like louis louis stuff everything louis did i still
like that's okay i think that's okay i can separate the art from the person well i think
you can say that you'd like this stuff in the past but i love it today like today i can go yeah
i will laugh at louis ck today well we've had this conversation before about um eddie murphy's
delirious and raw whereas you don't like the jokes No, it doesn't age well
but Eddie Murphy hasn't been caught up in anything really big
No, I know what you mean
but I will still laugh at those jokes
Okay
But do you know how bad a person R. Kelly is?
Yes
He has invented this whole cult of himself
and kept winning
and he was peeing on like
14 year old girls
like a 29 year old
or whatever.
And his mom was involved
and it's all twisted
and weird.
What do you think
of this Ignition remix?
Just give it a few seconds.
I've heard it.
There's no better
pop song on the planet
In my humble opinion
Is this early 2000s?
Or late 90s?
Early 2000s I think
And the joke is like
Actually ask Monica before you leave
They think it's okay.
It's a nice song, catchy, but nothing special.
This is fucking special.
Okay?
I've heard a lot of pop songs.
This is fucking special.
Ignition Remix.
It's on the Chocolate album.
What is that album called?
Chocolate Factory.
Chocolate Factory.
2003.
And he's got Ignition and Ignition Remix.
It was released in 2002,
but it came out on an album in 2003. Oh, man. Weition and Ignition Remix. It was released in 2002, but it came out
on an album in 2003.
Oh, man.
We're going to do this again, okay?
I have a lot of guilty pleasures.
So there's three versions
of that song.
Okay, tell me.
There's the original version,
which is 316,
and there's the remix,
which is 309,
and then there's a full version,
which I feel like you need
to get your hands on,
which is 625.
Six minutes and 25 minutes
of that,
or six minutes and 25 seconds of that bullshit.
And all of Mark Kelly's songs.
That's how excited he is.
Remember when Homer was singing in the choir
and his dad said,
that boy is going to make me a millionaire or whatever.
And then his voice broke and cracked
and then he changed forever.
It was listed.
Ignition remix?
Top song of all time by Rolling Stones? Rolling Stones, 500 greatest songs of all time.
What number?
494.
That's amazing it made it.
Pitchfork Media, top 500 songs of the 2000s.
First.
Number 19.
Wow.
Yeah.
And if he wasn't a horrible person, there's nothing guilty about that.
It's a guilty pleasure because I don't think you can say, for example i love chris brown without having to be a guilty feeling i think
that's how i think yeah i think it's okay to say that you like the song i think it's another thing
to say yeah seven is an amazing movie even though kevin spacey's in it i can say that and i could
watch uh i could watch american beauty and enjoy it today even though kevin spacey's in it, I can say that. And I could watch American Beauty and enjoy it today
even though Kevin Spacey's in it.
Yeah, and so I think that's where the difference is,
is that you're not going to watch the last season of House of Cards
if Kevin Spacey's in it, which he's not going to be.
I think that's your difference.
Good, because I haven't watched the first episode of House of Cards yet.
Oh, such a great show.
Did you have fun?
Did you know that the Chappelle show had a 2003 skit
that made fun of that
video and sex tape?
And the song was called
Piss on You.
Oh, I did know that.
I have Crave TV,
so I've been watching the Chappelle shows
and I did know that.
He does a good R. Kelly.
He's great.
R. Kelly's great,
not as a person,
but as a singer-songwriter.
And Chappelle's fucking great and he makes me laugh. I think he's great. R. Kelly's great not as a person, but as a singer-songwriter. And Chappelle's fucking great, and he makes me laugh.
I think he's great.
All four specials on Netflix are amazing.
Agreed.
You're going to come back for the next high holiday or whatever
and check out some more guilty pleasure jams?
St. Patrick's Day is another high.
Yeah, you know what?
I have a whole different list of guilty pleasures.
Is this the first time we ever exceeded two hours?
Probably.
Holy shit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely.
And that.
Oh, yeah, I have a question.
So that brings us to the end of our, what is this, 315th show.
I'm on Twitter, Toronto Mike.
Follow me.
Elvis, I don't even know which, like, handle to give for you.
I'm exhausted.
You tell us.
At Oshwell.
At Oshwell Elvis.
At Oshwell Elvis.
At Oshwell Elvis.
You're hiding your true identity again.
At Oshwell Elvis. You're not out of you're hiding your true identity again at Oshawa Elvis
you're not out of the closet
I gotta pee
okay I just
did anyone notice
I peed during Falco
I know
that was the longest
shittiest song ever
thanks
guilty pleasure
our friends at
you can go pee by the way
ignition
our friends at
Great Lakes Brewery
are at Great Lakes Beer
I'll just say
Great Lakes Beer
propertyinthesix.com
is at Raptors Devotee.
Paytm is at Paytm Canada.
Camp Tournesol is at Camp Tournesol.
Seriously, your kids will benefit.
Enrich them with the wonder of French camp.
You won't find a better French camp than Camp Tournesol.
Go to Campt.ca and put your damn kids in
French camp.
See you all next
week.