Toronto Mike'd: The Official Toronto Mike Podcast - John Byner: Toronto Mike'd #1113
Episode Date: September 16, 2022In this 1113th episode of Toronto Mike'd, Mike is joined by John Byner as they discuss his several decades in comedy from The Ed Sullivan Show to The Carol Burnett Show to Bizarre, and everything in b...etween. Toronto Mike'd is proudly brought to you by Great Lakes Brewery, Palma Pasta, Canna Cabana, StickerYou, Ridley Funeral Home and Electronic Products Recycling Association.
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Now, ladies and gentlemen, John Beiner.
Welcome Welcome to episode 1113 of Toronto Mic'd.
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Today, making his
Toronto mic debut
is John
Biner.
Alright, hello.
Great to see you. Great to see you.
Great to see you, John.
Yes.
You're Mike?
Yeah, I'm Mike.
John, nice to meet you.
I was a little worried maybe you forgot about us.
No, absolutely not.
We just had a little problem getting on.
Is that Dreamboat Annie who's helping you out?
That's right.
She's running around here getting things.
Hi.
John, what a pleasure.
Honestly, thanks for making some time for me today.
Hey, I appreciate your invitation.
Thanks.
The notes I got when I said John Biner was coming on,
I want to share some love with you here.
So you can hear me okay, right?
Yeah, absolutely.
Okay, good.
Where do I begin?
Let's start with a gentleman named Gare Joyce, who was my guest yesterday.
So he was sitting here in the studio.
Whereabouts do we find you today, John?
I know we're Zooming, but whereabouts are you?
In my home, Palm Coast, Florida.
Okay, that's a long drive for you.
Okay, so, but Gare, who came, Florida. Okay, that's a long drive for you. Okay, so...
But Gare, who came
from Kingston, Ontario, which is a heck of a drive
itself, but... Kingston, I know Kingston.
Okay, so let me play
a minute of Gare Joyce
on my show yesterday. Here we go.
When I first booked this, you were the meat
in my Dan Hill
John Biner sandwich. This was
the original schedule. So it was Dan Hill, then some Gare Joyce, and then, John Biner sandwich. This was the original schedule.
So it was Dan Hill, then some Gare Joyce,
and then some John Biner.
You're excited about the John Biner episode?
Oh, absolutely.
I was a huge John Biner fan,
and I loved all the celebrity impressionists
back in the 60s and into the 70s.
You know, Frank Gorshin fred travelina and john
beiner was right there i gorshin was my best and i don't think that i'm sure that if you ask john
beiner about frank gorshin he'll he'll he'll rave about his skills i don't know how he'd feel about
him personally but yeah i i love that And there just isn't like celebrity impressions anymore.
Maybe since Kevin Spacey was disgraced,
but he was, and he was a master impressionist.
Yeah, he was, but I love that bit of the business.
So John, what say you about those kind words
from Gare Joyce?
Well, I appreciate any kind words.
It's a wonderful thing to hear that you touch somebody's life in some way.
And I was there for him, and so was Frank and all the rest of the guys, the copycats.
Did you have any comments on Frank?
He was curious what you thought of him.
Frank had a lot more mirrors than I had in my house.
And he loved to rub his thigh, which I wondered what the hell that meant.
And aside from that, you know, he over it.
It was like a character, a whole thing, you know.
And I don't spend my time being perfect at the
impersonation.
I just like to get the essence of a person and then make a little fun about it and go
on.
You know, I've always turned off by going to see somebody that does impersonations will
do the whole song that that person sang.
I mean, they don't deserve it.
And people would say, okay, if it were Frankie Lane, fine, but you're just doing impersonation.
So hit it and get the hell out.
That's all I can tell you.
Love it.
Now, this morning, so early this morning, I co-host a show with a gentleman named Mark Hebbs here.
It's called Hebbsy on Sports.
And we were just shooting the breeze before we got going at 9 a.m.
And I mentioned John Biner is my guest this afternoon.
And here's what Hebbsy said.
But then this afternoon, I'm Zooming with John Biner.
Oh, God Fabulous.
Isn't that wild?
I love John Biner as a standup act before the show bizarre,
before a lot of people,
he was a standup comic and a great one.
And I mean,
he was on those shows like,
and I think I'm talking about Sonny and Cher,
Glenn Campbell,
Ed Sullivan.
You're right.
Of course.
But you know,
cause Ed Sullivan,
those days,
you know,
you had,
but I mean,
yeah,
I saw John Biner was fucking hysterical like funny I'm talking in the early
Monty Python days like my favorite comedians were John this was I think before I heard George
Carlin would have been so my favorite comedians were like like John Binder was great Monty Python
was off the wall funny.
Like this is the type of thing.
The standard guys, the Henny Youngman, Shecky Green, you know,
Rodney Dangerfield was good.
But I mean, different type of a comic, right?
And man, John Biner was just, he was clever and he was quick and he was,
he was hip.
That was the other thing was in the late sixties, early seventies,
John Biner was a hip guy, right? People could dig his stuff, what he was hip. That was the other thing was in the late sixties, early seventies, John Biner was a hip guy,
right?
People could dig his stuff,
what he was talking about.
Very,
very good.
When you're speaking with him,
just tell him that like a huge fan and had really followed his career from
whatever the first time he was on television and his records too.
Like,
wow,
you got,
that's a coup to get John Biner.
You're a hip guy,
John.
That's for sure. I dig itiner. You're a hip guy, John. That's for sure.
I dig it.
Are you still a hip guy, or is it now more about like...
I'll always be a hip guy.
It's from hanging out with musicians.
You know, musicians in the backup band
and with the Harry James Band and the Woody Herman Band
and working with singers and Mel Torme
and all these wonderful people.
And they're always hip, you know,
and they're hip and I'm hip and I love being hip
because it's a place to be where, you know, you just feel like it's cool to be any place.
You're a hip guy, John, but at your age, are you worried about breaking your hip?
Is that more?
You get into that age crap, you know, people get old talking about getting old, so don't talk old.
But on that note, real quickly, I've got some great clips and many more great questions for
you. But Wikipedia tells me that you're a man in your mid-80s. Now, I'm Zooming with you now,
and you might have a special lens, maybe there's special lighting,
but you don't look a day over 65.
Like, you look amazing.
I feel amazing.
I mean, why not?
I mean, I do.
I play golf with guys that are much younger than I, and they're in trouble.
And I wonder why.
And they can't stand me running around the course.
What's the secret?
Like, the secret to your, you know, staying so useful? Well, it's just that I think it's an attitude. I mean, I'm just funny. I'm just feeling an
attitude. When I get into show business, I hired people or people approach me to manage me and
agents to be my agents. And I paid them. When I worked, I paid them. They were paid.
And if I didn't work, I didn't get on the phone and complain about it. I didn't call the agent
to drive him crazy. I didn't call the manager to drive him crazy. I just went about my business
and had a life. And I took my kids places and I went places myself, and I bought things I shouldn't have, and all those
things that happened, and I just have a life. I like living, you know. I just, I, you know,
so many people that have been in the business so long that that's all they've got in their lives,
is the business, the business, the business. You know, they can't go on vacation because that
thing may come in, and this thing, like, it's all, you know, it's just, it has to be fun.
If it's not fun, what are you doing it for?
You may as well go back in the truck.
Well said, my friend.
Well said.
There's a listener named Ken Franklin who points something out, which I think is remarkable,
which is in the Venn diagram of guests of Toronto Mic'd and guests of the Ed Sullivan Show, you're right there in the middle.
You are a man who has appeared on both Ed Sullivan Show and Toronto Mic'd, and that's quite something.
Congratulations.
I love Canada.
I work so much up there.
Once I was the king of the candy bars in Canada.
I've forgotten the name of the candy bar, but I was.
And I go back that far.
I go back to Bobby, what's his name, Bobby Vinton,
and all those kind of things that were going on years ago.
And I just loved going to Toronto and Vancouver and all those great places and
driving across the country. And I just loved it.
Well, we're going to get you to Toronto pretty shortly because I want to dive into Bizarre,
of course, which I loved Bizarre. Now, but I'm hoping since you were on Ed Sullivan,
would you mind if I just played a couple of minutes of you on Ed Sullivan
and then we talked about that experience?
Because I don't know if I'll ever have another guest on this program
who could give me that perspective.
So is that cool?
So here's some of John Beiner on Ed Sullivan.
Now, ladies and gentlemen, John Beiner.
And now it's time for the Ed Sullivan Show, live from New York.
You know, now, we have a real fine show for you.
So tonight, we really have to get along, keep it down. Now, for all of you who loves great, great voice, great voice here,
great, great fine, fine singer from...
Knock him dead at the...
Coper.
Wait, wait a minute.
I never say Coper.
It's his show.
Do it right.
And here he is.
Knock him dead at the copa.
That's good.
Cabaner.
Well, darn it, let's bring him out here anyway.
Johnny Mathis, come on here, Johnny.
Look at me
I'm as helpless
as a kitten
I'm a train
never knowing
my rights
I could just show
I could listen to the whole thing.
But John, please, share with us any memories
or what it was like to appear on the Ed Sullivan show.
Well, it was the biggest show in the country.
Millions, millions, millions.
I'm not talking 10,000, 12,000.
I'm talking millions of people watched that show each Sunday night.
And there was always something for everybody.
There was something for people who loved the opera, some people who love dance, some people of comics and
sports. There was something for everybody. And he was sure to know what made people happy. And
he was a great guy. He was a regular guy. I mean, backstage, after you got to know him, he was,
you know, pulling tricks on you and doing all kinds of guy stuff.
And I loved the guy.
He was like a father figure to me, having lost mine when I was 11.
I'm sorry to hear that.
No, that's okay.
I know, you're going way back.
But, you know, they say time heals all wounds, they say,
but you never forget. Yeah, absolutely.
I believe it.
Okay.
Now, you're
doing some impersonations there but did you have at that time did you have a a particularly uh
favorite impersonation that you would do well the end was a big deal and people love to hear that
and i love to make people laugh and uh and uh and elvis was good and then I was doing Elvis. And, you know, it got to be stuff I liked to do that other guys didn't do,
like Robert Stack, for example.
I did a Robert Stack that no one else has ever done,
and I felt proud about that.
And Robert Stack did too.
Can you still do that Robert Stack?
I don't know.
I'd have to find out exactly what to say.
Man, I love it.
That's Ed Sullivan. Great.
Gere points out
something. What does he say? I don't want to misquote
him. He says,
this is the greatest of exactors
to have done Johnny Carson and Toronto
Mike. Johnny Carson,
John, found you very funny.
I mean, 37 appearances?
Yeah.
That's remarkable.
Over the years, sure enough.
In New York, it started.
And then when he went out to L.A., I later came out to L.A. to live
and raised my kids.
And I'd just drive in and, uh,
do his show and, uh, drive back to Malibu. And every once in a while I'd see him ride by and we'd wave to each other.
And, and it was like a family thing, so to speak.
Did you ever?
Doc Severinsen was a good egg and he talked about hip. He was hip.
Or still is. I don't use the was thing yeah right did you ever uh golf with
johnny no i never did golf with johnny i never hung out with johnny was just there well when
one evening we had uh we were working at the same place it was at the santa monica civic center it
was a big deal and frank sinatra was flying in, blah, blah, blah. And
Johnny was the host. And I came to do my dress rehearsal and he invited me into his trailer.
They had a trailer for him back in the back and we had coffee and we stared at each other for a
while because he was shy and I was shy. It was like two approved magnets going.
was shy and I was shy. It was like two, uh, two approved magnets going. And, uh, and, uh, and that was about as close as we got off stage outside of makeup rooms, et cetera. Joe. So what happened to
the impersonators? Like there were so many, I think this was mentioned in the Joyce clip I played,
but like, I'm thinking of like rich Little, like this was a big deal.
You had these celebrity impersonators and I don't,
I don't think they're in vogue anymore. What happened?
Well, years ago, there were not that many people, you know,
now you have a comic on every corner and you have an actor in every room.
And, and it'd be hard to pick out people that people would say, Oh yeah,
man, that's just like him.
Because the guy come on.
I look at People magazine and should be called strangers to anybody over 45 years old, you know.
And I don't know those people.
And if I started impersonating, like my son, my son does impersonations.
He says, hey, Dan, I'm going to impersonate Claiborne Klaba, for example.
Now, that's the name I made up.
I don't want to offend anybody.
Or my son.
And he starts to sing, and I said, well, I never heard him,
so I really can't tell if that's close or not, Don.
So there you are.
And I think that's the reason.
I mean, we had the Cagney's, and there were special kind of different things.
And, like, I listened to country-western music, and I used to like it because there were different sounds you know different
you know you had Hank Williams and you had the the gentleman from Canada and and you had different
and now they all sound the same you know it's all it's all the same to me well because you
mentioned country and western I'm going to go off track for a moment and ask you did you ever in this we're gonna get to bizarre obviously which yeah i'm
taking my time here but i know they also in the same location uh hebsey was telling me they also
were filming uh a show of kenny rogers was that concurrent like did you bump into kenny during
your time up here filming bizarre or was that
no absolutely not never no okay never did it was different times a year okay gotcha summer
summer 10 weeks in the year yeah okay so we'll get we'll get back to age in court that's okay
jim carrey okay speaking of canadians here obviously i'm talking to you from toronto
ontario canada so always can-centric. But Jim Carrey
started as
an impersonation comic.
As he was building his
act and becoming famous,
he would do these great impersonations.
And then at some point, he completely
abandoned all the impersonations
and went in a different direction. And it seemed to
work out for him. But he's like the
last guy I can think of who seemed to be coming up
as an impersonation comic, as I think.
Coming up?
How do you mean?
Where do you get that?
Well, you know, rising the...
You mean he started as and is now not?
Correct, right.
Okay, I'm with you now.
Okay, well, I think because people started impersonating him,
maybe that was the problem.
That's exactly right.
He became too big for his britches.
You know, he wants to be an actor.
You know, people want to be actors, and that's another story.
It's another place.
I've been an actor many times, and it's a nice place to be.
You don't get as many laughs, but it's a nice place to be. Speaking of being on television here, I'm
going to kind of fast forward a little bit. And by the way, anytime you have a story that you
think I skipped over, you just stop me in my tracks and you tell that story. Okay.
Sure enough.
This is all about you, but I want to ask you, what kind of a woman is Carol Burnett? What was it like being on Carol Burnett's show?
She's down to earth, and she's fun, and she likes to laugh,
and she lets you know that she likes to laugh.
And I appreciate making my people laugh, other comics laugh.
That makes me feel good.
When was the last time? Did you
speak to her any time recently? I'm wondering
how long it's been since you chatted up Carol
Burnett. No, Carol Burnett and I
have not. No, I was not the Tim
Conway. I did six
or seven or so of her shows
and then the Tim
was used all the time basically after that.
Right.
Shout out to Dorf on golf.
That was very clever.
I'll play a little bit because, you know,
I like to play a few clips here, but here's a little bit
of, I believe
this is from the, I know it's from the Carol Burnett show,
but let's listen to what I got here. Well, Dr. Fromis, I never thought I'd see you again.
Dr. Strill.
Yes.
I told you when we left college that you'd be seeing my face again.
Yes, I know.
For 17 years, I've been suffering from anticipatory nausea.
Remember how you used to scoff and laugh at all my inventions
and call them yicky?
Well, I've got something that'll turn your yicky into,
well, I'll be darned.
Bring it in.
Wait till you see it.
Well, I'll be damned.
You've invented the box.
No, Mr. Wiseguy.
There's a little taste of John Biner on the Carol Burnett show.
Yeah.
What's it like listening back to those clips?
I mean, that's a while ago, but does it bring back?
I love being on that show.
I love being part of that family at the time.
You feel like you're part of a family when you did that show.
People come in for rehearsal on a Monday,
and they'd all be talking and having fun, talking about the weekend.
And it was just a very relaxed situation.
You know, it was a CBS and I'd run into Carol O'Connor and things like that.
And it was fun.
It was just a great situation to be in.
And I loved Harvey.
He was a wonderful guy.
And he and I go back.
We go back to early days when I started shortly after the
first Ed Sullivan shows I did a Gary Moore thing and he came back for only about six shows and
and and I was on it and Lily Tomlin and and Jackie Vernon and and and several others. And that didn't last too long.
But Harvey was the comedy director there.
And that's how I met Harvey,
those years back.
Amazing.
Yeah, 64, 65, 66.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I love it.
I love this.
I was thinking about doing something when you called me when when i came on and say uh hey how are you doing there mike i just took a pill and it should
be kicking in any moment now so there we go so how the hell are you it's funny i don't know if
you remember but um i was producing toronto with Andrew Applebaum. This is going.
Yes, I remember.
That's how I met you.
Right.
Via Andrew.
So I wouldn't fall for your trick.
Shout out to Andrew, the Toronto Legends host.
Hey, Andrew.
Thanks.
Nice talking with you.
And you do a nice job.
And I think I learned on that show that were you and Pat Morita born on the same day?
28th of June.
Yes.
You know, I And also Mel Brooks.
Wow.
And I tell you, you know, when they come out with the newspaper birthdays
and Mel is on the top and I'm the second one and I'm telling Mel,
hang on there, Mel.
I don't want to be on the top.
I'm ready to go off the cliff.
So you said June 28, right?
Yes.
I'm June 27.
Well, that's a close one.
Very nice.
So close to being in that esteemed group there.
My granddaughter is on the 29th.
Okay.
All right.
We're all close together.
I'm covered by you and Rosine.
Would you mind sharing with us your friendship?
You had a great friendship with Burt Reynolds.
Yeah.
When Burt was dating Dinah Shore,
he was unbeknownst to me until she told me, a big fan of mine.
And she invited us on the show.
I did several of Dinah Shore show shows in the afternoons
and we had a great time.
We sang together, we laughed together, we had a great time.
And one day she had this surprise for me
and Bert was on the show with us.
And I had a great time with Bert, happy to meet him
and anything I did, he copied that day i jumped from a a lift onto a
couch and he did the same thing rather than take the steps down and he did the same thing followed
me and did that and uh and he did everything i did just to just to show me that he liked me
and so then after that i i started started meeting him in different places,
different affairs, and he would ask, he'd come up to me and he'd say,
John, come on, tonight will you do the Duke and all that kind of stuff.
He'd tell me his list of things that he'd like to hear me do.
And that's the way it was for a while. And then he invited me to be a surprise guest for Lonnie Anderson who they they had just married and
and they were doing the movie called Stroker Ace right and he thought I as as as an actor uh to
to play his younger friend who grows up to be a somebody who helps him in a jam uh I he he'd let
me do the show uh the movie and he signed me onto the movie.
And I traveled with them in the motorhome from place to place.
And it was very good and very interesting.
And then years later, I was invited to appear at a big affair
in Beverly Hills, and he was there with Ann-Margaret.
And I was happy to pay tribute to her
with a special little dance I had.
And she got crazy funny.
It was just wonderful.
And that's Bert.
Bert and I, we knew each other.
We were fans of each other and liked that.
I mean, you never know who will be buddying up in hollywood like
john beiner and burt reynolds i don't think that would have been my first guess but who would have
thought did you happen did you happen to see my book or read my book there are pictures in there
of us and oh shout out your book so uh what's the name of your book yeah it's a nice idea
it's called five minutes mr, Mr. Biner.
And that's what happens when you're working live in the nightclub or something.
You get that five-minute warning so you can zip up your whatever.
Five Minutes, Mr. Biner, that's what you get.
Now my dog thinks somebody's at the door.
I just did that.
It's okay, Rob.
Don't worry about it.
Anyway, yeah, it's Five Minutes, Mr. Biner, and it's doing well.
And I had fun writing and it's all about the good things in the business.
And, you know, I don't do any complaining and sorrowful stuff and pity party or anything like that.
Well, consider this chat here is like the teaser trailer.
But if you want the main the main dish you got to
buy yourself a copy of five minutes mr beiner this is where you get everything that's it
to date up to date right i have a question you're going to dispel this myth or you're
going to confirm it to be true this is a big moment here everybody but you know we all i mean i loved happy days happy days
is a show uh i was the right age for it i felt like i had nostalgia for the 50s even though i
was a child of the 80s it was quite a you know no pun intended but it was quite a bizarre scenario
for me but i loved loved it loved it were you john be, supposed to be Mork?
That one comes back to haunt me.
I was at a party.
I was dating a girl who happened to be on Happy Days,
and she knew Ronnie Howard, Ron Howard.
And she invited me to a dinner party at her little house,
a little apartment in Hollywood.
And I came, and there was Ron Howard and his wife.
They were.
And we had dinner together, the four of us, at her house.
It was very nice.
And afterwards we sat in the living room and he said,
John, they want to see you over to whatever it was, I've forgotten where, they're looking for someone to play Mork,
a guy from outer space.
And I said, does he make noises and sound?
He said, yes.
I said, well, I'm not interested.
That's as far as it went.
Far as it went.
I never auditioned.
I never talked to anybody.
Just me and Ron. Okay?
And then they make a
movie about the making of
Mork and Mindy. They make a movie
about it, a TV movie.
And there at one point
they have
a shot of
overhead of a set,
and this redheaded guy is standing at the set,
looking at it, standing down there on the set,
looking at the script,
and guys are standing around with cameras and what have you,
and he goes, this is crap, and that's supposed to mean this is crap,
and he throws it down on the deck and he walks off.
And I thought, my God, you know, if I had a good lawyer,
I could sue the rest.
Reformation of character.
And that's as far as it went.
And I've heard that, hey, how come you didn't take Mork?
Did you hate yourself for it?
Did you kick yourself in the ass?
No.
I had a good life.
I'm still here.
See, if you had been Mork, you might have been
the Oscar winner for Good Will Hunting.
But the thing is, he looked better in those tights than I
ever did. That's the fact.
Did you ever meet Robin Williams?
Just very shortly, Billy Crystal was having a big thing when he did that movie, Mr. Saturday Night.
He had a big dais, and I was on the dais, and so were several other people.
You know, Muhammad Ali and going down.
You know, all these people
were there and
we had to wait in this holding area
until everybody was ready
and the crowd was in what have you
and
and I got a tap on the shoulder
and it was Robin Williams
and he said hey I like that he mentioned
something I had done on Bazaar
which the two Robin Williams. And he said, Hey, I like that. He mentioned something I had done on bizarre,
which had two, two, uh, faith healers,
meeting together and turn on each other.
And he said, I really liked that bit. And that's,
that's as much as I ever said to him.
And then he went over in the corner and he curled up like a baby and sat there alone.
Oh.
He had good taste, though.
Very soon, I want to tell, because people are like,
there's an old line in The Simpsons where it's like,
get to the fireworks factory.
It's like, at some point, I've got to get to Bazaar
because I've got so get to bizarre because i got
so many people who are dying to hear details about bizarre but first i'm wondering if you
john beiner would share any details with me about hollywood squares well hollywood squares was a
thing you know if you had if you know you come in from whatever you were working on, and you'd have five changes of upper clothes,
because down there it's not, unless they're going to call you out
to say or do something.
And otherwise, you wore a pair of jeans or khakis
and changed your shirt and your jacket and the thing,
and you did five shows in one day.
And after the first show, after the third show,
everybody would go to dinner, and they had wine, wine at dinner.
And I'm telling you, after the wine at dinner, it became two of the craziest shows that followed.
And it never failed.
It never failed.
So it was hysterical to take part in and and you got to meet so many different
people each week that came to see you know tina turner and people you wouldn't run into otherwise
and i got to tell her what her nice legs were and uh she told me i was funny so we worked it out
and um you know it was it was great and if and if you out. And, you know, it was great.
And if they threw something at you that you weren't prepared for,
they had little possibly answers on a card.
And you could just look down and have an answer.
And, you know, look the hell you're answering.
Okay.
And that's the way it was.
But if you got something good, you know, Peter Marshall would say,
hey, you have a total recall, man. It was got something good you know he peter marshy would say hey yeah total recall man it was right there you know and uh he praised me a lot of times because i remember dates
and people and and uh it was fun to do i can actually now tie it back okay so earlier we
heard that uh gear joyce we had a clip from him he was going to be the meat in my dan hill
john beiner sandwich okay so dan hill's
biggest hit was called uh sometimes when we touch big hit even in the usa it was a big hit anyway it
was covered by tina turner and i think 1978 so tina turner had a hit as well with sometimes when
we touch so it all there it goes it all ties back to Tina. Oh, how nice. Nice bow for you, John.
Someone's got to pick up these threads.
A segue.
Now that you're an FOTM, an FOTM is Friend of Toronto Mike.
Listen, you're going to get used to it.
The tangents, the tying everything together,
it's precisely what we do here.
Loving this chat.
Now I feel like I need to get you to
canada here okay so for a little context as john beiner says milk means lasting energy
lasting vitality because milk is something else
I'm not surprised. Come on.
Look out. Smile.
Fine.
Okay, now. Okay, now. You ready for a big one?
How many different ways do you suppose
they're going to get to an island?
We came by plane. That's one way.
Well, we can always parachute down to it, I guess.
It takes a while, but we could swim to it.
You could always be born there.
That would save a terrible time all together.
Hey, you could even arrive that way.
Do you know who they are?
Well, unless it's a small invading army,
I'd say that's Scrappy Appleton.
How do you know that's who they are?
Because according to all the stories from years ago,
they're supposed to land by boat, get on the beach,
play these instruments, get back on the boat, and split. There we go.
What a thrill it is having John Beiner on Toronto
Mic'd. The only man that I
know of, the only person that I know of
who has been on both The Ed Sullivan Show
and Toronto Mic'd.
What a career.
In Ontario.
If you're in Ontario,
Great Lakes Beer.
They make fresh craft beer.
You can find them in LCBOs or at
their brew pub at Jarvis
in Queens Quay or of course
their Southern Etobicoke
headquarters down the street from the Costco
30 Queen Elizabeth Boulevard.
Much love to Great Lakes Beer.
Palma Pasta.
They have four locations.
Three in Mississauga, one in Oakville
go to palmapasta.com
delicious authentic
Italian food
stickeru.com
you can go to stickeru.com
anywhere in the world and upload your image
and you can produce decals
stickers
temporary tattoos
quality, quality product.
Great, great people.
Shout out to Ridley Funeral Home.
Pillars of my community since 1921.
Brad Jones has a great podcast.
Life's Undertaking.
Subscribe and enjoy.
I get to co-host that show. Canna Cabana will not be undersold on
cannabis or cannabis accessories. Go to cannacabana.com, become a member of the Cabana Club,
and be in the know when there's a sale going on. And there's always a sale going on. And EPRA,
going on.
And EPRA.
They'll help you safely recycle your
old tech, your old
electronics.
We'll learn more with Cliff
Hacking on Toronto Mic'd
next month.
But let's get back to
John Beiner.
Prior to Bizarre, how familiar were you with the country of Canada?
Well, as I said before, I'd done a lot of work up there.
And I was familiar with the town. I wasn't as familiar with the town as I got to be when I was introduced to Gary Chow,
who was the guy who would take care of my hair and the wigs I wore and the characters and stuff.
And he showed me all the great restaurants around town.
And we're still very good friends.
But anyway, it's always a beautiful city.
We worked there in the summer.
I've been there in the winter.
Once I was there with a date
and we went to see a movie in the winter.
And from that movie,
we were going to go three blocks to see another movie.
We never got to make it to the third.
It was that windy and so cold that we had to turn back.
It was just, you know.
And I'd show up to see, visit Gary sometimes,
and I'd knock on the door.
He says, what, did you wear everything you own?
I'd be all bundled up and everything from Californiaifornia i had yeah yeah it happened no you're
right we do yeah but you know it's worth it it's a beautiful town uh absolutely no i mean i'm a
little biased i was born here but uh i do love it here and i'm happily raising my family here but
one of the great uh legends of course is that in agent court which is a
neighborhood in scarborough which is a borough in toronto so it's all russian dolls here but they
would that's where bizarre would film so how did it come to be like how did bizarre come to be
and how did it come to be that they would film that in toronto ontario canada
the name of that answer is alan Bly, who is Canadian.
Maybe he holds a double citizenship or something like that.
I knew these fellows from Sonny and Cher and a lot of shows I did back there,
like Glen Campbell, what have you.
And they approached me to do this new thing that was only going to be seen by cable TV people.
So don't worry about your family seeing it.
No, that's going to turn to hell.
And anyway, you know, they'd say that to girls who didn't want to.
They'd say, but what if my father?
And they'd say, oh, he'll never see it.
You don't have cable, do you?
No.
Anyway, they said it's going to be, you know, sort of kind of crazy and doing things that other people can't do on other stations and what have you.
And so I signed in because I'm a show off in the way that I can do different impersonations and characters.
And I did what Alan told me at the end of our six years that I'd done over
370 different characters in that time.
Different, not the same one.
And that's amazing.
It was fun to know.
I wasn't aware of it, but I did whatever I was told to do in the script.
And once in a while, there'd be something I'd say to Bob Einstein,
who was the comedy director also.
I'd say, Bob, I don't think I can do this.
It was just maybe two or three out of all the shows we did
that I passed on.
So he'd call somebody else to take the part.
All right, I've got more, as you can imagine,
I have more bizarre questions,
but both bizarre
capital B and
lowercase b as well.
Let's warm us up. Let's get in
the bizarre mood. Here's a little bit
of music to bring us back. Ladies and gentlemen, the star of Bazaar, John Beiner. Thank you.
Thank you.
Brings back memories, I'll tell you.
Bob Einstein, you know, he was called by them.
Oh, fix the f***ing thing.
Okay.
I said something.
I didn't know something was coming.
No, that's okay.
I'd much rather hear you now than then.
But yeah, you know, it takes me right back.
I know there's a lot of visuals you can't see in a podcast,
but even the music brings me right back.
Yeah, same here.
I love working with those people up there.
They're so wonderful.
Absolutely.
Actors, comics, all those people up there they're so wonderful absolutely actors
comics
all those people up there
wonderful
I miss them
I absolutely miss them
well we miss you
but hopefully we'll get a little
taste of you
what you're up to now
in this episode of Toronto Mic'd
but I do want to get to
Mike Rogotsky's question for you
before we talk further about Bob Einstein
but Mike Rogotsky writes in
John Beiner, incredible.
I watched tons of Bazaar growing up.
Can you ask him how they got Mr. T on Bazaar?
And how was Mr. T to work with?
Well, I don't know, and I never did.
So there's no Mr. T on Bazaar?
No, I never worked with him.
I knew him.
I know him.
But I never worked with him.
I wonder what he's conflating because I copied and pasted.
He probably saw him do something and thought that I was in the dressing room,
probably ran into him or something.
But I never went face-to-face on screen with him.
I don't remember ever doing that.
Okay, but do you remember Mr. T being on Bazaar?
Yeah, there's a segment that he did with Super Dave.
Gotcha.
Okay, so let's talk about Super Dave for a bit here.
Bob Einstein, of course, famously the brother of Albert Einstein,
who now goes by the name Albert Brooks.
Right.
I can't blame you for that.
I was going to say, I wonder why he changed it.
Who do you think you are, Albert Einstein?
Yes.
That's funny.
So tell me what, you know, he's no longer with us, sadly,
but what was it like working with Bob Einstein,
a.k.a. Super Dave Osborne?
Well, we were pals.
We were downright buddies.
I mean, we hung out together, our wives and I,
and we just had fun together.
We do golf tournaments in Palm Springs
and different things like that.
As I said, go to dinner, go see a movie, what have you.
And I played golf with him and we were pals.
And he'd call me here in Florida after all those years,
all like just a few months ago by.
And I'd pick up the phone and it wouldn't be, who is it?
And hi, John, it'd be two guys walk into a bar.
You know, it'd be a joke.
He'd start out with, it's okay.
I was going to ask you if you do an impersonation of him,
but it sounds like you do.
Yeah, I never did it for him.
I never, I know because I didn't know how he felt about it, you know,
because sometimes you get really excited and talk like this.
And he was a good guy.
I loved him.
And where did you meet him?
Oh, like in Sonny's Share Shows and the, what the hell are the brothers?
Dick Van Dyke?
Dick and Tommy Smothers.
Okay.
Smothers Brothers Show.
Of course.
And things like that. Yeah, mom always liked him
best. That's right.
Yeah, I like those
guys too. Oh, that's a great
nostalgia trip. Okay, now where did
in fact, okay, you know what? I'm going to call
an audible here. I'm going to play a little bit of
this is the very first appearance of Super Dave
Osborne on Bizarre
which happened to be the first episode of
Bizarre. So if you'd bear with me, we're going to hear a little of this
and then a little more chatter about the late, great Bob Einstein.
Hey, thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you very much.
Ladies and gentlemen, not to be outdone by shows like Real People.
That's incredible.
We have our own daredevil, Super Dave Osborne.
We're going right out to the field now with Mike Walden
to see what this daredevil is going to do for us today. Daredevil, Super Dave Osborne. Take it away, Mike.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. This is Mike Walden speaking to you live from Stockholm, Sweden, where you are watching It's Nighttime. However, it's early morning here in Stockholm, and it looks as if we're going to have clear, beautiful weather for what Darede super dave osborne hopes to be his finest hour
super dave what about today first why are you doing it secondly do you honestly think you can
make it well mike i've said this before i'm doing it for two reasons uh first of all i love the
challenge uh and the second reason i'm not sure it's more important i love the money i'm not a
terribly gifted person so i feel the money i make risking my life
is far more than i could make doing anything else super dave i really have to be honest with you i almost don't believe that you could make it so all i can say is good luck thank you well dave is
going over now and he's going to check with his pit crew for one last minute check over before
he begins this great for great feat now this automobile costs Super Dave's sponsor,
the Pick'em Oil Company, approximately $300,000.
It has triple reinforced roll bars, special nylon, excuse me, Dave,
special nylon tires, which have a hard Teflon alloy in the tubing.
The motor is the largest cubic inch engine ever put in a standard Detroit chassis.
The car weighs over two tons.
And as you can see,
every safety device known to man is being used to hopefully bring Dave through this miraculous
feat. He's got the car revved up now, and that means that we can't be only just a couple of
moments away. Once again, Dave, good luck from all of us here in Stockholm, and I'm sure all of your
friends watching in America. Well, thank you, Mike. and I want to say one thing to my wife and kids.
I love you, and I'll see you soon, and to my sponsor, Daytona Lavage Motors.
Fellas, if I don't make it, it's not your fault. You've done it all.
Okay, go get them, Dave.
Incidentally, Super Dave has been outfitted with a special transistorized microphone
so that we can be in full contact with him at all times
once again good luck day you're ready
all right i'm okay mike i feel good it's a beautiful day for this
all right i think i'm all right mike I hurt my left arm a little bit, and I got a little headache,
but as long as I can get my car in position, I'll be all right.
I got to get the back wheels up top, and then I'll swing her on in.
There we go. All right. Good landing.
And now it's home free right now.
The steering wheel is pushing me back a little bit, but I'm okay.
I'm in the... Holy...
Mike, I'm okay, but you can't see it.
Oh, my God.
Okay, I can't stop listening to this.
Okay.
So, John, if you're still with us.
Yeah, I'm with you.
That's the debut.
That's it.
So who came up with the Super Dave Osborne character idea?
You know, it goes back to when he did the Dick Van Dyke show.
That was when he first introduced that character.
I found out because he said I wasn't getting a dime.
In my contract, I was supposed to get paid for anybody who spun off the show.
And he said, you know, I did that on Dick Van Dyke, so you're not going to get any. Oh, that's funny.
That reminds me briefly of Tracy Ullman once tried to sue The Simpsons
because it was originally on her show.
Oh, God.
Anyway.
It's too much for me.
As I said, I never bothered with all the petty crap in this business.
I just went on.
You know, you go crazy,
and you pay a lot of money out to lawyers and who the hell needs that
oh and he had uh sorry no sorry for talking over you there but he had great great success in more
recent times uh with uh yes on this my wife and i curb your enthusiasm my wife and i don't don't uh
don't get hbo at the house we never ordered, you know, we don't see anything that we care to watch.
So Bob calls me, and it's a two- or three-month call, and he says,
hey, did you see me Saturday night?
I said, we don't get HBO.
What, you live in the fucking woods?
You do a great Bob Einstein, but it's like he's still here. Yeah.
Especially like the segment where he's following me out to my limousine.
You can see where he's following me out to my limousine.
I'm wearing this.
We're talking about dignity, and I'm wearing this dress.
And I'm upset because he made me wear the wrong earrings.
All kinds of stuff.
You've got to check that.
I think it's on YouTube somewhere.
Oh, for sure.
At any rate, that was my favorite because I kept making him laugh.
His whole deal was not to laugh.
This was part of the deal.
Right.
And that's all I needed to hear.
Oh, my goodness.
Okay, so here's a small world story, I suppose. But a local Toronto band that made it big in the U.S.
with a number one Billboard Hot 100 hit is the Barenaked Ladies
and the drummer for the Barenaked
Ladies is an
FOTM like yourself but his name is
Tyler Stewart and Tyler's first
job was to drive
Super Dave around when
he was filming in
Agincourt.
Well that's nice.
No, I got more for you. If you think that was good. Bob would be, that's nice. That's just, no, that's, no, I got more for you. Okay. If you think
that was good. Okay. So I'd be proud to hear that. So shout out to Tyler Stewart, who was driving.
Good night, Tyler. And I got more for you. You played drums too, and you drove him around well.
You're here. Leona Boyd is an FOTM. She's of course also great canadian uh she's uh what do they call
her the first lady of classical guitar i think they call her no and she uh she appeared on
bizarre i can't remember anymore i think she played on bizarre or something she had a
anyway so shout out to leona boyd and i got one more i got a couple more for you almost done
uh ziggy lawrence who was famous in this market for being on much music
and having her own city TV show.
And Ziggy is one of those attractive young ladies
who would be on Bizarre in wearing tight T-shirts, etc.
God bless her.
God bless her.
And did her dad get to see her?
Oh, yeah.
I should phone her up in a minute.
I can't remember, but maybe.
Oh, a couple more quick ones.
Anyway, God bless her.
There were beautiful women on that show.
Great, great.
The thing that we did was Miss Lady of the Evening.
You've got to see that.
Well, I mean, what I remember, I watched a lot of Bizarre.
I was probably too young to be watching Bizarre, remember i watched a lot of bizarre and i i was probably too young to be watching bizarre but i watched a lot of it i guess i got a censored version on cfto or something
i can't remember yeah yeah but i still remember the skit because i was you know starting to uh
realize i'm attracted to young to to woman and then i'm there's a woman a nice tight t-shirt
and she'd take off her t-shirt of course. And there'd still be another one under that.
And this would go on for like 25 t-shirts or whatever.
And it would drive me crazy.
They should have called it the tease shirt.
But man,
it's like,
Oh,
one more to know.
It's like,
and you can kind of see different colored.
You can kind of say,
Oh my goodness,
we have another 20 to go.
Like it was rather frustrating and the natives in africa would say what's the big deal
so then okay well a couple more i'm almost uh yes sure um okay so we did leona we did ziggy
oh yeah so dave thomas is an FOTM. I love Dave.
Tell me a little about Dave.
I spoke about, I didn't mention Dave Thomas in the thing where the two faith healers meet in the street.
That was Dave Thomas met with me.
And that's also on YouTube.
It's a favorite of Robin Williams.
Right.
Hello, Brother Ernest.
Praise the Lord.
Yes, praise his name.
How is your lovely wife?
In perfect health.
And your beautiful children?
The joy of my life.
And how are you feeling?
Well, my bursitis is acting up again.
When I tried to shave this morning, I couldn't raise my arm.
Hmm.
The pain is here in your shoulder.
The pain will disappear if you believe.
I believe.
The pain is going away.
The pain is going away.
It's going.
It's going.
It's gone.
You're right.
It's a miracle. The pain It's gone. You're right.
It's a miracle.
The pain is all gone.
I can't thank you enough.
What did you say?
My hearing, I'm having trouble.
It comes and it goes.
You will hear again.
You will have no problem with your hearing.
Can you hear me?
Not now you have your hands off of my ears.
Believe me, you will hear, you will hear, and you will hear right now.
Say baby.
Baby. Say baby Daddy Say baby
Daddy
I'm sure, Earl, I'm sure
Thank and praise the Lord
I'll see you later
Just a minute, Brother Ernest
I've been wanting to talk to you about all the money you make on your television show
Well, what about it?
You stole one of my ideas
Faith Healer's bubblegum cards You stole one of my ideas. Faith healers bubble gum cards.
Yes, I cleared over five million dollars on that one.
But stealing is a sin.
And you call yourself a faith healer?
Well, I am. I healed my bank account.
You hurt mine. You hurt it bad.
I had to give up three television stations,
and I'm having trouble with my cash flow.
Tough.
Heal myself. If you don't like it, sue me.
We'll see about that.
This hand here, you see this hand here.
This hand is useless.
You will never be able to use this arm again.
It will fall by your side and stay there forever. Oh!
Oh!
I can't lift my arms. All right, you started this and you're not going to get away with this.
You will have a stroke, a permanent stroke, incurable!
You double! You double! Take this! Your leg is powerless! It will no longer support your legs!
Oh!
Well, that goes double for you!
Both your legs are gone, you are crippled!
This has gone far enough.
I'm ending this once and for all.
You are having a fatal heart attack, and I mean, fatal!
Oh!
You never see me die, cause you're blind!
I think I won. I am the best. My hands are miracle workers. Can you hear me, Lord? Can you hear me, Lord?
Well, he might be able to hear you, but I'm still having trouble.
So, yeah, I mean, it was amazing to have these, you know,
they went on to, to, to be on a show called Alice or the girl with one name,
Grace or something like that.
Oh yeah. Grace under fire.
Yeah. There you go. Yeah.
I actually was, I good guys, good, good performer.
I he's a sweetheart because you know you know what it's
like i'm like okay i'm talking to dave thomas i don't want to take too much of his time but he
kind of like you did you remind me a lot of dave thomas in the sense that you've
relaxed me to a point where i'm fully comfortable taking eight hours of your day here
tell any no no just kidding just kidding with you but But Dave Thomas, great. A few more names.
Lisa Del Bello.
Ah, yes.
What can you say about Lisa?
Very beautiful woman.
We were talking about Bobby Vinton.
She was a backup singer for Bobby Vinton on that show.
I think she was 17 years old.
Absolutely beautiful.
And we were kept back for wardrobe or something,
and everybody went off to go to this wrap party.
And she knew a bus that could take us to that place.
So we get on this bus, she and I.
And these two old ladies are sitting together,
and one of them has very good hearing, very good ears. And these two old ladies are sitting together,
and one of them said, I have very good hearing, very good ears.
And one of the ladies says, he's a comedian.
And the woman next to her said, he's a dirty old man.
Speaking of much music, where Ziggy was working lisa did have some uh videos that got lots
of airplay and much music including one for a song uh called let's tango which was i think she
was recording under the name del bello and uh her sister and so her sister-in-law so that means uh
listeners now john i know you might not know this name but the listeners know uh danny elwell who's
an fotm danny elwell married lisa's
brother and i think danny might have co-wrote a couple of songs on lisa's album so shout out to
lisa del bello there you go lisa hi here's a big name for you mike myers mike mike is strange in a
way i had nothing to do.
This is a story I just love to tell the public because I never told anybody.
Mike didn't realize that I never had anything to do with the hiring or firing of people on Bazaar.
Nothing whatsoever to do with that.
I showed up.
The actor showed up. How are you doing? It's great. Good to see you again. Nice to meet you for the first that. I showed up. The actor showed up.
How are you doing?
It's great.
Good to see you again.
Nice to meet you for the first time.
Whatever it was, I had nothing to do.
Okay?
So he comes on Bizarre as a boy, a little boy.
And we're doing this thing about the kids smoking, you know,
and doing Natalie Tink talking bad trash,
and the father's wondering why.
You know, it's just a funny little sketch.
And for some reason, don't ask me why,
somebody else came and filled in for him the next time I did it.
I don't know why.
So years go by.
I mean, many years go by.
And Mike does this movie, you know, the thing and bum and thing.
And there's an affair.
I think it was Frank Sinatra's 80th birthday,
and I'm invited, and so is he.
I think that was the affair, and I go over to shake his hand and say,
Mike, after all these years, great, great what you did that picked that movie,
blah, blah, blah.
He says, oh, you had me fired.
That's all he said to me.
Jesus Christ.
He's never forgot.
He's never forgotten.
No, I went, doot-de-doot, doot-de-doot.
Oh, Mike, his brother is an FOTM.
Shout out to Paul Myers.
Hey.
Yeah, it's great.
I love hearing the Mike Myers stories.
Here's another from the the hammer i suppose but uh what can you tell us about billy van
billy van he's a a solid character in my life he's uh he's the guy he's billy van and i did the uh
what the hell was it he had a sunny and Cher show together a couple of times.
And he did so many of my shows and terrific actor and terrific guy.
And you'd never have to worry about Billy Van.
If you did a sketch, Billy knew it.
And if you messed up, he just covered for you.
He was just a wonderful person
a wonderful person died too young died too young um but we all still watch at least at least i
still watch the hilarious house of frightenstein which with about i don't know 10 different
he's alive he's alive on film he'll live forever on her film right yeah uh what about luba goy
lubers yeah she was great in the the bigot family yeah she was she was terrific in those big glasses
she was she was somebody who didn't care she was going to be that character and whether that
character looked good or didn't look good she was was going to be that character. And she was a great asset to that group, the Bigot family in particular.
Well, Jerry the Garbage Man, I'm glad that we're talking Bigot family
because he writes in, please ask John Biner about the origin
of the Bigot family skits and how he thinks they would be received today.
Oh.
By open-minded people and people that weren't bigots,
they would be received very well.
Otherwise, oh, God, we did the KKK talk show.
How would that be received by people?
I mean, we did things that other people wouldn't dare to try to even do.
And it wouldn't be, I mean, for those people who laughed at that,
I admire them and I respect them because they have open minds
and they realize that everybody's people and it's all fun
and for God's sakes, get over it.
It's so freaking old-fashioned to have anything bad to feel about anybody else,
you know, just because they don't eat the same food or,
or have the same hair or whatever the hell it is.
Get over it.
Grow up.
That's all I can say.
I'm going to play one more clip.
I, you know, because I, here I am on a zoom of John Biner.
So I'm going to play a, just give people a taste of Bizarre
beyond Super Dave Osborne
and that opening music. So here's
just a little bit more for
you.
I do
each little adage
Don't get Mr. Rambo
says, you better do what I
tell you to, or I'll kick you
in the ass
you like that little song boys and girls i wrote it myself in blood
so you've been having a good time with your brothers and your sisters
i think i'll forego with the headband today
hey wait a minute i I think I smell Mr. Mailman.
And here is Mr. Bazooka.
Can you say boom, boys and girls?
Hi, Mr. Mailman.
Bye, Mr. Mailman.
I guess Mr. Mailman's going to see Mr. Undertaker.
Let's see what Mr. Mailman brought today.
Uh-oh, it's a letter bomb. We better get rid of this quick, kids.
It's headed toward a bus full of nuns. Talk about your flying nuns.
Oh, which reminds me, Mr. Music, will you walk me to Mr. Machine Gun?
That's enough, Mr. Music.
I said knock it off!
Excuse me, boys and girls, I'm going to introduce Mr. Music to Mr. Fist.
Be right back. Hold your crayons.
So this is Mr. Rambo's neighborhood.
And Mr. Rambo's kitchen, too.
Oh, just fantastic.
Okay.
A couple more names for you here.
Victoria Jackson.
Victoria Jackson.
Terrific.
Absolutely terrific.
Yeah.
I mean, what's not to like about Victoria Jackson?
Well, how much time do you have?
No.
You know, I bent a knee for her to put a ukulele.
She was playing a ukulele or something like that. She was playing a, what the hell was it called?
She was singing a song called, use me use me so I let her use my knee she couldn't she was supposed to have a stool on stage
and she looked off stage and I ran off to help her and I just kind of knelt down and had my knee up
and she was able to do that anyway victoria jackson yeah different girl you know
a different thing she wasn't she's not copying anybody i admire her penny for that what about
billy bardy i love billy i i go back with billy many times you know with different specials we
were in and uh he was terrific guy i'd have him up up when I was at the Royal York. I'd have him up to dinner
room service and he'd come in and just casually lift up the cushion off
the chair and just sit there and he'd be right up the right place for the coffee
table. And we'd have dinner.
And hey John, hey John, hey John.
How you doing, John?
He's a beautiful guy.
He's a beautiful guy.
I have to tell you the story.
I have to tell you the story about the last time I saw Billy.
There was a big deal for Billy at Universal Studios and roundtables and people on stage
are reading things, poignant things about Billy
and what he did for the little people over the years.
At one point, this one announcer from L.A. is up there
and he's reading this thing and in comes Bob Hope
being escorted
by the guy that they hired to escort him.
And he comes in and he's plopped down at our table,
Andy and my big round table, maybe 10 or 12 of us at the table.
In the middle of all this, he yells out, I want ice cream.
He spent 97, 98 or whatever it was.
Just couldn't hardly
see or anything.
And word gets to Billy backstage
that Bob's out there. So Billy
comes over and crawls up on his lap and says,
Hiya, Bob! And Bob
goes, who is it?
So
that's the last time I saw Billy. God
bless him.
He was great. He had a terrific
attitude. He did.
John, this is amazing.
So I'm just going to
ask a few nuts and bolts.
How long did you have to come to Toronto for to film these things?
Give me an idea.
You'd come up here for weeks to film everything?
Yeah, 10 weeks.
10 weeks, okay.
Yeah.
And how many years of Bizarre did you film?
Six.
Six, okay.
We do 25, 26 a season okay and why does it end after six i mean six is a good run don't get me wrong you know bob was anxious to have his own
show so he said to me one day you know i've had enough of this how about you i said what the hell
am i going to do without you so it's the end of of it. And then came the Super Dave show, and I made an appearance on his show,
which he invited me to do his show a couple of times,
once in Vegas and once in Vancouver.
But he had to get out and do his thing, and I could see that.
Do you remember what year it was when B bizarre came to an end 86 86 okay so
i'm just doing some math here so it seems to me like uh you know because i loved bizarre so much
and then post bizarre i saw less john biner than i would have liked to have seen like can you what
exactly have has kept you busy these last few decades? Life.
I've been on several things.
I've done a couple of things.
I've been in a couple of pictures.
One, in fact, is coming out soon.
It had a big response in Las Vegas, I'm told,
by the producer.
It won five awards.
It's a remake of something that was done years ago. Edmund O'Brien did a movie back in the forties called DOA black and white.
And it was in black and white.
And we did that right up here in St.
Augustine and independent producer.
And, and that's having, we're going down to Lauderdale, my wife and I,
and Annie's in it actually also.
We're going down to Lauderdale for a big movie festival down there.
And then it's going to be up in St. Augustine, another festival that's at.
And we're excited about it.
And I auditioned for a couple of things just now recently.
And I send them in via, you know, video.
Sure.
And I wait and I see.
And sometimes I do.
I get it.
And other times I don't because I'm too much of something or not enough of something.
You never know.
But that's what I'm doing.
And I get called for voiceovers from people that can't do a certain thing.
I was called to do a voiceover in L.A.
of an actor who passed away before the picture was done.
And I was able to do that, but I can't talk about it.
Okay, you're signed an NDA.
And I'm going to be in the St. Augustine Opera
on January 1st, Die Flattermaus.
And I play the comic in that center after
the beginning of the third act,
and I'm going to do that on
New Year's Eve and New Year's
Day.
Like that, I do stuff.
No, honestly,
very impressive. In this film you're referring
to, the independent film
that's been recognized in Vegas,
I can't wait to see this.
Yeah.
I mean, what kind of role do you have in that?
What are you in that?
I play a nasty guy.
I play a guy who sells poison to people.
I can't imagine you playing the bad guy.
Well, give me a break.
Try to.
That's like Tom Hanks trying to play the bad guy in the Elvis movie.
It's like, wait a minute.
People loved it.
I haven't seen it.
I knew Elvis.
I'd rather not see it.
Oh, yeah.
That would be unique because, you know, most of us don't know Elvis.
So it's like.
Yeah.
I was invited to his home.
Wow.
In Graceland.
And, you know, I knew him over the years.
And I just can't see
somebody i mean i i made fun of him in my act which uh which is in my book i talk about how
i met him and and there was something in my act that he repeated that i thought offended him but
he was putting me on later found out we got all kinds of male askers why don't we have the boy
who really got
this rock and roll thing off the ground to come back on our show so here he's going to sing a
little song about well i'll let him tell you about it elvis hold up boys hold up boys hold up boys
Hold it boys, hold it boys, hold it boys, hold it boys.
Ladies and gentlemen, I want to thank you for that warm reception you gave to me, a singer from America.
I'd also like to say that for all you newcomers coming up here, you don't have to grow long hair to make it in rock and roll singing.
You have to have the right manager.
I have the right manager. He groomed me, showed me what to do And I'm really in debt to him
I wrote a song for him
It's a little ballad, I hope you like it
His name is Colonel Tom
And I call my song
Colonel Tom
When I saw you down in Tennessee
I knew you'd be the manager for me
Colonel Todd
Yeah, yeah
Colonel Todd
Yeah, yeah
You peg my guitar case
Then you turn around and peg my face, Colonel Tom
Well, Colonel Tom
Colonel Tom
Yeah, it's you Come here, take a bow.
And, you know, I'm glad it's out there.
I'm glad people love it.
And Annie has a girlfriend seen it seven times.
Wow.
Wow.
She'll be lip syncing with it pretty soon.
Okay, so that's amazing.
This has been amazing for me, John.
Like, you gave me all this time.
This is an opportunity before we take our screenshot photo and say goodbye.
Is there any story you want to share or anything you want to get off your chest?
This is sort of your moment, Mr. Biner.
Anything you're thinking, just anything.
Did you meet the queen i've met plenty of them but i never met her and i love them don't get me wrong
there's one named skippy low that was uh that's a favorite of ours my wife and i
skippy low is john byner religious You know, he's a great guy.
I loved him.
He's gone now.
What else can I tell you?
I just tell you, hey, you know, be happy, folks, you know,
and pay attention to what's going on.
When you have to vote, you know, find out things.
Don't just vote because the guy has nice hair and terrific teeth whatever it is look into it good advice and uh that that that i think it's i'm trying to remember what is your email signature
it's ee cummings right what is the quote do you remember i just took that off oh you just took it
off no uh a day is wasted without laughter.
Without laughter, a day is wasted.
See, you practice what you preach,
because in this one hour we've been chatting,
my face is hurting a little bit from all the laughter.
I can feel those muscles have been worked in my face.
That's nice. I'm glad to hear it.
Thank you for that.
And John, good luck with everything.
If you ever find yourself in the great white north again,
I hope you send me a note.
But thanks again.
This has been wonderful.
And best of luck to you and Annie and your whole family.
Thanks so much.
And back to you, same thing.
And that brings us to the end of our 1113th show.
You can follow me on Twitter.
I'm at Toronto Mike.
Our friends at Great Lakes Brewery are at Great Lakes Beer.
Palma Pasta is at Palma Pasta.
Sticker U is at Sticker U.
Pasta is at Palma Pasta.
Sticker U is at Sticker U.
Electronic Products Recycling Association are at EPRA underscore Canada.
Ridley Funeral Home are at Ridley FH.
And Canna Cabana are at Canna Cabana underscore.
See you all next week. Well, I want to take a streetcar downtown
Read Andrew Miller and wander around
And drink some Guinness from a tin
Cause my UI check has just come in
Ah, where you been?
Because everything is kind of rosy and green
Yeah, the wind is cold, but the snow won't be the day
And your smile is fine, and it's just like mine
And it won't go away
Because everything is rosy and green
Well you've been under my skin for more than eight years
It's been eight years of laughter and eight years of tears
And I don't know what the future can hold or do
For me and you
But I'm a much better man for having known you
Oh, you know that's true because
Everything is coming up
Rosy and green
Yeah, the wind is cold
But the smell of snow
Wants me to date
And your smile is fine
And it's just like mine
And it won't go away
Cause everything is
Rosy and great
Well, I've been told
That there's a sucker born
Every day
But I wonder who
Yeah, I wonder who
Maybe the one who doesn't realize
There's a thousand shades of grey
Cause I know that's true
Yes, I do
I know it's true
Yeah, I know it's true, yeah I know it's true
How about you?
I've been picking up trash and then putting down roads
And they're broken in stocks, the class struggle explodes
And I'll play this guitar just the best that I can
Maybe I'm not and maybe I am
But who gives a damn
Because everything is coming up
Rosy and gray
Yeah, the wind is cold
But the smell of snow
Warms me today
And your smile is fine And it's just like mine And it won't go away I'm And I've kissed you in places I better not name
And I've seen the sun go down on Shakhty Kut
But I like it much better going down on you
Yeah, you know that's true
Because everything is coming up rosy and green
Yeah, the wind is cold but the smell of snow Everything is coming up rosy and gray.
Yeah, the wind is cold, but the smell of snow warms us today.
And your smile is fine, and it's just like mine, and it won't go away. Because everything is rosy now.
Everything is rosy, yeah.
Everything is rosy and gray