Toronto Mike'd: The Official Toronto Mike Podcast - Toronto Mike'd #99
Episode Date: December 7, 2014Mike chats with Elvis about Serial, the Pope, the Jays, the redesign and airs a special vintage CFNY Christmas message from David Marsden....
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Welcome to the 99th episode of Toronto Mic'd, a weekly podcast about anything and everything,
often with a distinctly Toronto flavour.
I'm Mike from torontomike.com and joining me this week is my buddy Elvis.
How's it going, Mike?
This is the first time we've recorded on a Sunday morning.
Yeah, and it worked out perfect because I went to church this morning and then headed over here.
I was going to ask if you came from church or you were going to church after this.
No, I did the early mass today.
This is my mass.
Full of communion and richness.
Did you confess your sins?
Yeah, yeah, of course.
You know, you can do it.
You're Catholic. You can do anything. You know, you can do it. You're Catholic.
You can do anything.
You can go murder 20 people.
As long as you confess, you are absolved.
You can go to heaven.
And you don't even have to confess hating gay people, which is so great.
No, that's okay.
That's sanctioned.
You can totally be a homophobe and you don't even have to confess that because that's not a sin.
You know, that's the best.
If you have to pick a religion, that's the one.
Like, you can do anything and just on your deathbed, we can't.
Can people stop saying that Benedict is a great pope?
Because he's still a fucking asshole.
A bigot.
He's a bigot and a homophobe.
And no matter what he says, unless he comes out and says that this is wrong, he's still a homophobe and a bigot.
Yeah, but it's relative.
Like, on the scale of popes, he's the best.
He is an asshole. Yeah, but like on the scale of popes he's the best he is
an asshole yeah but he's an asshole relative to previous popes he is very progressive but that's
what is that saying that doesn't really say much he's not exactly in any sort of company that
you know we should be celebrating he's a fucking asshole didn't he say i maybe i'm misattributing
this quote but did he say like uh a parapase, but like a son of a bitch homosexual?
No.
Oh, no, no.
A son of a bitch straight guy
is not as good as a like good kind homosexual.
Did I?
Am I out of the line?
I don't know.
I can't say.
From now on,
that is a quote that should be attributed to me
because it's a good one.
Do you think he said a son of a bitch?
Do you think?
I can't go down this rabbit hole with you.
First thing, come on. Oh, rabbit hole with you. Come on.
Oh, I'll jab you all day long.
Because religion, I'm sure it'll come up later.
It's Sunday.
Let's celebrate Jesus and Santa.
Can we celebrate the first redesign of the mothership,
TorontoMike.com, the blog, the first redesign since 2008.
Is that what's happened?
Okay, here's a question for you.
You didn't notice?
I did, but I noticed it in different browsers.
And maybe it's a cookie issue.
Tell me.
When I looked at it on Chrome on my PC, it was still the same.
But then when I looked at it on Chrome on my Mac, it was new and improved.
When was this?
This has been over the last few days.
It's been a multi-stage effort.
It started Thursday.
All right.
But by, you know, I'd say by Friday lunch, it was pretty much done.
It's pretty sexy.
Then I had numerous, I call them Lorne tweets.
done it's pretty sexy then i had uh numerous i call them lauren tweak lauren who is a frequent commenter uh left such so many detailed suggestions and a lot of them were good and a lot of them i'm
gonna wait and see but i actually had a lot of time i had to spend a lot of time after lauren's
qa effort to tweak something so have you now moved it to a platform that's more accessible via the mobile
yeah well yeah the answer is yes but it's that the only thing i changed was the css and the
javascript and the html so the back end is all the same bottom line is that it is super mobile
friendly in fact the last element that is not responsive to a screen resolution change is I have an ad, a Google ad. It's like a wide banner
that doesn't seem to want to like change. Look at this. Other than this Google ad, which still
stays wide, I'm trying to figure out how to make it responsive. Everything now, all my images,
if you go to that Santa Claus parade update I did yesterday. Yeah, yeah. I'm telling you,
it is as mobile friendly as possible. What do you think? I like it. Yeah, yeah. I'm telling you, it is as mobile friendly as possible.
What do you think? I like it. This is sexy. I hadn't checked it on my phone yet. And I remember
telling you this like two years ago. I said, I want to be able to access Toronto Mic on my phone.
Yeah, well, listen, it's really good. You always could. It wasn't like as if you know, but you only
got the one version, like the full desktop. Yeah. So you've got a smaller version of the desk. Now
you have a special version depending on how wide your screen is. So did you do this yourself or did you hire somebody to do
this? No, I, uh, licensed a code. So, uh, very inexpensive, $17. I licensed basically this
bootstrap CSS stuff and this HTML. So the code, I didn't have to write it from scratch basically.
So they hand you a big bundle of code and then if you know what you're doing, you put it in the right places.
And then that's where I do what I do.
So I didn't like write it, hand code it.
For the first time ever in the history of the site,
the code was actually taken from somewhere else and not handwritten from my head.
So yes, so I had help.
Is that good or bad?
No, I mean, it's the only way I was going to get it proper
without like taking a couple of weeks off
and not seeing my kids and stuff.
I just didn't have time.
Well, from some of the comments based on your site,
I mean, you should be taking multiple weeks off.
My favorite? Okay, so yeah.
Similar to the way in which you should have hammered
Todd Shapiro when he was in here.
I felt like, so quickly do I owe everybody something?
I'm so sorry that this site that you know
that you don't like change i got a bunch of like i don't like change and some of them were just
you know like jason was there was sorry to interrupt was there a it was there an entry
that i missed on this or it was all over twitter it was all in the open mic on friday i didn't even
do an entry because it was such a i wanted to get it like in one place and then sort of test it and
then put it in other places.
Gotcha.
So now it's everywhere.
So now it's done.
Okay.
But as recently as last night, I was changing things in the footer.
And then I had a sticky header.
So when you scroll down, the header was sticky.
And then I thought it was taking up too much real estate.
And I didn't like it.
So I figured if I don't like the fact that I said, what the hell, I'll just lose the sticky
header and half. If they want to go back to the header, they can scroll to the top. People complain
that they like that or they didn't like it someday. Well, Dorn didn't like it. Right. Okay. And then
I started to agree with Lauren. I agree with Lauren on a lot of stuff, but it seems like a
level-headed guy or gal. I think it's a guy, but it's definitely a guy because his, uh, he wrote
the, Oh, right. Yes. Yes. Definitely a guy. And I've seen a video of Lorne
making gluten-free...
Oh, yes.
So did I.
Yeah, yeah.
I remember Lorne.
He's a guy.
Yeah.
He seems like a really nice guy.
He's very smart with his CSS.
One thing, though,
my favorite comment,
because I got a bunch of...
Some negative comments
were kind of like,
what am I supposed to do?
Just keep the...
It was an old table.
It was literally an HTML table
that did not respond
if you changed your resolution.
And it was so 2008 when I wrote it.
And when I wrote it, I never even had a mindset, oh, I better look out for the guy on his Galaxy S5 or the iPhone.
I didn't have any mobile thoughts in 2008.
And then today, I can tell you from the stats, tablets and smartphones are half the visitors.
It's like we went from like 1% to 50%.
It's pretty common with a lot of websites.
I know the company I work for
were over 50% access through mobile,
which is interesting.
And we have an app.
You have an app.
But it's still pretty high on mobile
going to like, you know,
the.com site on your Safari
or your Chrome browser.
Yeah, so I had to go there,
especially since that's like my full-time job it's like i can't neglect this part then it looks like i'm
not like sensitive to it in my real work work so one comment that i thought was kind of funny
was somebody complaining in all caps that the white background was too bright. So I was originally, I had the comments went in this like,
like a light gray. And then there was this darker font and it was kind of cool looking,
but it wasn't as legible as black on white. So I started changing things to make it easier to read,
which was basically, I made the background white in the text black, because we all know the best
contrast for reading on the web is black on white. Did you know that?
Yes, I did.
Yes.
So white is just like it's hexadecimal code FFF, FFF, like six F's or, you know.
So it's white is white is what I'm saying.
And this guy was complaining the white was too bright.
And I told him to dim his damn screen.
Like white is white, right?
What am I supposed to go?
Some eggshell off white because white is too bright?
This is super nerdy.
It's just white because white is too bright this is super nerdy it's just white is
white anyways that one made me laugh out loud uh that somebody was complaining that the white was
too bright it's frustrating i would imagine because there is a lot of user user potential
issues here right yeah it has nothing to do with your site but it's more about the users who are
accessing yeah and uh yeah and so i'm right now i'm happy with where it's at. Like I asked my,
cause we,
I'm going to talk about this in a minute,
but there was a Santa Claus braid yesterday.
Yeah.
So my brother said he likes it.
So I figured,
ah,
he likes it.
Like F the rest.
There's my QA.
He's a good,
he's a good sounding board.
I think,
I think he's pretty honest in the sense that he says,
I look modern.
And he said it works and it looks pretty.
He's,
he's happy.
And he would tell you when it didn't look good too,
I think is the important part.
Cause he didn't like the numbering of these episodes yeah and he told me
yeah although i've had a thought on that too which is and i've decided to keep the numbers like my
life will be much easier if every episode is a number this is 99 for wilf paymont is he the
greatest nhl correct me if i'm wrong is wilf paymont the greatest nhl to wear 99 yes or no
yes without a doubt there's no debate no question i can't even think of anybody else Correct me if I'm wrong. Is Wilf Paymont the greatest NHLer to wear 99? Yes or no? Yes.
Without a doubt.
Without a doubt.
There's no debate.
No question.
I can't even think of anybody else who wore 99. Hebsy would agree with me.
Wilf Paymont.
Jesus.
I was...
And this is weird.
Whatever.
It's Sunday.
I'm going to go crazy on my tangents.
But I was watching the new sports line on CHCH.
So it's now...
It's a new sports line.
Wow.
Completely different.
Who hosts it?
Mark Hebbshire and a dude who I don't remember his name.
He's not Jim Taddy.
He's a different skin color and everything.
I never listened to the Hebbshire episode.
Okay, well, you're missing out.
One of my favorites.
It's on my list.
But long story short is it's a different format,
but it's called Sportsline.
And Hebbsy is still entertaining.
I love his opinions.
And I was thinking, I love this fucking Hebbsy.
This guy's great.
But it's a total ripoff of um what's the espn show where the two guys discuss they have a list oh it's uh part of the interruption part of it which is fantastic
show yeah so the new sports line is a kind of a cheesy ripoff canadian version yeah except and i
was joking to my brother yesterday that the graphics are even cheesier it's like they got
some i don't know a mcmaster intern or something, because this just doesn't look...
Amazing.
The production values and the graphics, sometimes they're just sketchy graphics.
Why did you throw McMaster under the bus?
I have a comment about it.
I had to think of a Hamilton institution.
I have a comment about your...
Okay, should I say Mohawk College?
No, whatever you want to say.
Okay, so long story short is i did check out the new hebsey
sports line finally and hebsey's great as always but uh it's how long has this been on the air for
i think it's been a while oh i think i think i just don't watch chch very much i don't think i
get chch no no that's got to come over the air that thing yeah but i don't think my my antenna
is pointed in that direction because i i i the way the antenna is pointed is that the pie that you sort of project out from the house.
This is the nerd alert.
Gets Toronto and then the American stations.
Okay.
Because when I was a kid, my TV had four stations because there was no cable.
It was four over-the-air antenna.
And one of them was CHCH.
Of course.
Yeah.
CHCH, CBC.
Yeah.
CTV.
CTV and Global?
It might have been Global,
but I think maybe it was at TV Ontario.
It could be TV Ontario.
That's probably some sort of legislation
that they have to be.
Because my kids watch TV Ontario all the time now.
Yeah, Jarvis is watching TV Ontario.
We only get two kids' stations over the air.
But that's a good one.
One is TV Ontario, the other one is Kubo.
You notice how there's lots of Arthur?
Yeah.
They have this library library full of like
old 90s Arthur episodes.
They used to come cheap
or something.
And then there's
a Turtle one.
Franklin?
Franklin, yeah.
Franklin and then
Berenstain.
You know who sings
the theme song
to the Franklin show?
Because my son
watched that back in
the early,
my son was born in 2002,
my first one.
And then he used to
watch Franklin like crazy.
And you know who sings that theme song?
Who?
Bruce Colburn.
Oh, really?
Hey, it's Franklin.
Franklin.
It's if I had a rocket launcher.
Lovers.
Can you do this one with me?
Great song.
It's Sunday, right?
In a dangerous time.
You have a great boy.
You know, what's funny is that on my way over here
to get myself in the mood of being on a Toronto Mic'd podcast,
I listened to the Barenaked Lady's Greatest Hits CD.
The hours grow shorter as the days go by.
Brought me back.
Well, it's got one of the best lyrics in Canadian rock history
is in that, which is,
kick at the darkness until it bleeds daylight.
Which is one of the greatest lyrics ever.
I wonder how many people realize
that that is a Bruce Coburn song and not a Barenaked Lady
song. Most. Probably. I'm going to say
most people know it's a cover. You think?
I think there's a lot of stupid people out there.
Yeah, there are a lot of stupid people, but those stupid people don't even
know it's a Barenaked Lady song. I guess.
They're just really stupid. But great song.
Great cover. And for the longest time, you couldn't
listen to that song unless you bought some soundtrack.
I can't remember which one.
But it was a soundtrack.
It wasn't on a
Barenaked Ladies album.
It was a tribute album
to Bruce Coburn.
You're right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I take it back.
But it wasn't on
a Barenaked Ladies album anywhere.
Same as Alternative Girlfriend.
That wasn't anywhere.
And you remember
that McDonald's?
Yeah, yeah.
I'm in love with McDonald's, girl.
Yeah, and I don't think
that's anywhere right now
either because of the McDonald's thing. You know, it's nowhere. You're right. Because it's not their song, A, and Yeah, yeah. I'm in love with McDonald's, girl. Yeah, and I don't think that's anywhere right now either because of
the McDonald's thing.
You know, it's nowhere.
You're right.
Because it's not their song
A and B, yeah.
So they didn't,
it was not
a Bare Naked Lady's original.
It was a cover.
And yeah,
it was never released
on a proper album,
but there's a bootleg
somewhere I downloaded
from like,
what was the big one?
Napster.
Yeah.
And because CFNY,
Nerd Alert.
Yeah, CFNY 102.1 used to play McDonald's Girl all the time, like a live version of McDonald's Girl.
And I loved it.
A live version is different though.
Yeah.
I didn't love McDonald's Girl.
Yeah.
Can't remember.
Live versions are different though, right?
Because you don't have to, you don't need permission to.
No, you're right.
And then the station just takes, SOCAN would pay whoever the actual song is owned by.
What a tangent this could be.
But do you think the most popular Canadian bootleg live version of anything ever is the Tragically Hip's New Orleans is Sinking with the Shamu?
The Killer Whale?
Yeah, the Killer Whale.
Could very well be a good guess.
But I would put my money on something by Rush.
but I would put my money on something by Rush.
Oh.
Just given the longevity and given that market and given the, you know,
I would say it would probably be a Rush bootleg
that would probably be the most downloaded
or most passed around bootleg.
Yeah, because they have an international loyal fan base.
Yeah, big time.
And they're all nerds, right?
Dave Grohl was just on,
and Dave Grohl and the Foo Fighters
were just interviewed by Howard Stern on Wednesday, which was an amazing interview. They played two nerds, right? Dave Grohl was just on, and Dave Grohl and the Foo Fighters were just interviewed by Howard Stern on Wednesday,
which was an amazing interview.
They played two live songs,
and they talked about how they would rock out to,
they would just jam to Rush when they were kids.
That's amazing because I have a bootleg of acoustic Everlong
from the Howard Stern show back in the mid-90s.
And Dave Grohl on the birthday show,
which is almost a year old now, believe it or not,
Happy birthday.
credited Howard Stern to the Foo Fighters' success
because he played that version for the first time acoustically
on the Howard Stern show,
and the popularity of that song and the band took off from there.
Related note, a fun fact.
Did you know Dave Grohl was the drummer for Nirvana?
And that also contributed to the Foo Fighters' success.
Not just.
Get the fuck out of here.
A lot of people don't know that.
Who doesn't know that?
You just told me people are stupid.
Yeah, you're right.
But I think more people.
You don't think.
I don't know age because actually.
You're right.
There's got to be like a 19-year-old guy out there listening to F who has no idea i will give you that you're you're probably right there's probably
people out there who are listening to foo fighters that never even knew what nirvana existed how many
people listen to like rod stewart and have no idea he was in like faces or whatever yeah or phil
collins that's a good one yeah genesis yeah or peter gabriel okay Are we forgetting someone? Is there another person other than Dave Grohl that has been in two such huge problems?
Let's do this.
Let's think for a second here.
Let's do this.
Because you look at some of the bigger names, right?
You've got guys like Axl Rose or Slash or David Lee Roth.
Slash is a good one.
What other big band has he been in though?
Slash has been in two. Velvet Revolver.
But not to the... I would give you
Velvet Revolver has been a big popular band
but not as big. No, that's true.
Okay, not as big.
I guess the only other person that I'll give you
is Paul McCartney with Wings.
Wings is pretty big, I think, weren't they?
Yeah, they were pretty big.
They have a bunch of hits.
Yeah, they have a bunch of hits, right? Baby, I'm Amazed. Wasn't that Wings is pretty big, I think, weren't they? Yeah, they were pretty big. They were big. Live and Let Die. Yeah, they have a bunch of hits, right?
Baby, I'm Amazed.
Wasn't that Wings?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I can't really name any of their songs off the top of my head.
It's in a great Simpsons episode because they put a recipe for lentil soup or something,
some vegetarian dish is embedded into the Baby, I'm Amazed song, like a subliminal message.
Nice.
Because Paul and Linda McCartney were big vegetarians.
That's right.
Love Paul McCartney.
Okay, so that's amazing.
All this is to say that I will continue to number episodes,
and this is 99.
That is the best.
We should just do episodes like that.
And if they follow, they follow.
If they don't, like, who cares?
They're not paying for this.
So we're going to have to start naming referees then
when we get into the 100s.
The NFL referees have jerseys that are 100.
Did the XFL have jerseys?
Yes.
Didn't they have jerseys?
Yes, they did.
He hate me.
He hate me.
What number was he?
101?
I have no idea what number he was.
No, that's amazing.
He might have been 00.
Maybe he just turns over like we're back to one.
Could be.
I don't know.
Okay, so this is 99.
And redesign of the website.
Let me know if you hate it.
But I'm done most of the heavy duty lifting.
I'm just doing tweaks now.
There's apparently a Firefox issue in the comment field
that when Lauren writes really long entries,
there's a scroll bar padding on the right.
Like it's such an obscure thing.
I've been testing it in Chrome and on my mobile browser.
Well, Chrome actually, but on my mobile and on my desktop.
And there's some Firefox thing Lauren wants me to look at,
which I'll get at eventually.
So would you test for Safari as well?
Well, it's because I licensed this code.
And it's very inexpensive
if you don't sell anything on your site.
This is the caveat.
Right, okay.
So I spent 17 hardcore dollars
on the code that's been tested everywhere.
Gotcha.
So I'm comfortable with that part of it.
Okay, gotcha. Did you know so like i'm comfortable with that part of it okay okay
gotcha um did you know speaking of toronto mic.com it's nominated and i'm this will be good for a
chuckle but it is nominated for two canadian weblog awards really i know okay did you nominate
yourself i don't know because i i went in to find out where i was and the two awards i'm nominated
for is amazing lifetime achievement award lifetime achievement award which is like okay fine are you retiring but uh
and and ready for this one I don't even know how I'm in there but I'm nominated for sports and
recreation I could see that because you do come in a lot of that sport then I went to see who I'm
up against I don't know any of these blogs I'm up against like I feel like well now you're trashing
the competition and that isn't very cool.
I just feel the whole thing is so silly.
And then I looked at the Lifetime Achievement.
I'm up against people like...
My former guest, Remy the Minx, is up there.
Oh, really?
In what category?
Same one.
Sports and recreation?
No, that would be funny.
Lifetime Achievement.
Lifetime Achievement, yeah.
Interesting.
So, we joke about...
Obviously, I won the Gemini.
I don't know.
Can you vote? Can I vote? But they tweet at me. I don't know if there Gemini. I don't know. Can you vote?
Can I vote?
But they tweet at me.
I don't know if there's voting.
I don't know if there's voting.
And when is the big announcement?
When do you have to get your tuxedo and go?
They tweeted at me that I was nominated, and then I clicked through, and then I found myself
where I was nominated.
I actually don't know how this works.
I'm just mentioning it because it's kind of funny to me.
Well, I would love to.
What's the organization, or who's the organization?
It's called Canadian Weblog Awards.
Probably some guy in his basement.
I'm going to have to go.
I don't think it's very.
Which is ironic given that that's where we are right now.
That is true.
Two guys in the basement.
It's not going to be as prestigious as my Gemini.
I agree.
But it's probably right up there with the potty award that my Mike Wilner episode is nominated for.
You're nominated for a potty award?
No, I'm spreading that like as a rumor.
There's no such thing as a potty award as far as I know but what did you say it was called canadian what web blog
awards canadian web blog awards interesting i can't wait to uh vote against you yeah i don't
even know what you win like i think you'll probably end up winning like a badge that you can put on
your website which i'll never do so that's probably the probably just like you get like a image that
says i you know winner of 2014 canadian web Award. Why wouldn't you put it on your
thing? I just think it would devalue. I just don't think it's real. Like I don't think there's
anything to it. Like, cause I looked at the competition and because no good, nothing good,
it's not talking bad about Ramy's site or whatever, but the majority of stuff I saw
was pretty weak ass. Like I saw some blogs that like
hadn't been updated in eight months and stuff. Here we go. I got some information. It just seemed
weak. Okay, go. The top fives in their cat, each category. So there's, uh, they had 766 nominations,
766, and they put that in caps. Apparently that's good. Uh, they, from that, they narrowed it down to a total of 530 nominees across 25 different categories.
Wow.
And now there are 38 jurors that are judging each of the blogs, and the top five in each
of the categories are going to be announced on December the 5th.
That's past tense.
Which is past tense.
So did I win?
So let's see here.
No one tweeted at me.
What the fuck?
Hold on.
December 5th.
Oh, I got to click on a link here.
Today, by the way, for the record, is December 7th.
Okay.
So what was it?
I got the categories here.
Can we get a drum roll?
I actually can probably do something like that.
Is that a drum roll?
There you go. There you go.
There you go.
Lifetime achievement.
You're not on it.
That's all I got.
But what about sports and rec?
Hold on.
I'm nervous.
It's in alphabetical order.
I'm a little nervous.
Sports and rec, you're nominated.
Derby
Frontier, The Hoop Doctors,
Active Kids, Active Family,
8 Clicks from Nowhere, and
Toronto Mike. So am I fifth? Is that in order?
No, no, no. That wasn't in order.
So now you have to come back on December
the 15th to find
out who will place first, second, and third in the
awards.
I wanted the other one.
I wanted that achievement award.
The lifetime achievement award.
Yeah, that's like something.
You haven't achieved anything in your lifetime.
Well, how many blogs have been around this long?
Come on.
Something for just longevity, there should be an award.
Anyway, I don't care.
But that doesn't necessarily mean you're good in this business yet.
I just wanted to...
The blogging business, as you discussed with someone,
Aaron Davis or Colleen Rush, I think.
Aaron Davis has a blog that's very popular.
It was Aaron Davis you discussed it with.
And yeah, it's still relatively new overall.
And she's been blogging a long time, but not as long as me.
She should be up for an achievement award.
Only by about six months, though.
Yeah, she should be up for the lifetime achievement award.
She tweeted at me yesterday because, okay,
so I went to the Lakeshore Santa Claus parade.us parade yep longest walk to this thing holy smokes you can
see it from my porch um yeah so i went with my nephew he was four years old and uh he's actually
like super like scared of sirens and there's a lot i was surprised like a big feature of this
weak ass parade is like a fire truck will go by and put on
a sirens.
Like that's a float.
Yeah.
That's any parade.
Okay.
Here's my parade experience.
And I want to talk about this.
So as a kid, I went to the Toronto, met the Toronto Santa Claus parade.
Right.
Yeah.
Then I didn't go again until I had a kid.
And then I went nine years in a row with James.
And then when Michelle was born, we went for nine years in a row.
Right.
Until they got to a place. They just didn't believe in the magic and they didn't want to go.
And then I switched to this one until eventually Jarvis will be old enough that we go back to the big one.
But OK, so all my experiences at downtown, which, you know, it's a very commercial and it's put a lot of money pumped into it.
So it's like pretty I don't know if you've been to this one lately, but it's OK.
Nothing I saw yesterday would make the cut.
But don't they have like, isn't it like the pride parade where they'll be like, and here comes the shoppers drug mart float.
Yes, yes.
Or here comes the pizza, pizza float.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're all sponsored.
It's absolutely, it's very, very commercialized that way.
So personally, I think the, oh, I'm getting a call from Europe right now, I think.
Do you want to get it?
Do you want to take it?
Not really.
It could be the UN.
It could be my boss or something.
Kofi Annan.
Whatever.
It's Sunday.
Come on.
Yeah, it's Sunday morning.
That's not a time I would ever take a word call from Europe.
Weird.
It's either that or a crank call.
I'm not a fan of parades.
I actually despise parades so much.
All of them?
All of them.
Every single one.
Even the future Raptors NBA championship parade? That's different. That's different. That's a
little bit more fun. But yeah, I'm not a big fan of parades. But you don't go as an adult guy.
Like you go with a kid who's loving it. Yes. I agree. But then you look at it through their eyes
and then he's like, oh, this sucks. But look at the joy in those eyes. I'm a bad person and I hate
it so much. No, if I have one person who's digging the magic, I get into it. So yesterday I had a doctor's appointment. We were going to, we were
going to, um, record this yesterday on Saturday morning instead, but I, I forgotten that I had a
doctor's appointment in Toronto. So I went to Toronto for the appointment and then on my way
back, my wife said, Mrs. Elvis called me up and said, hey, we're going to the Whitby Santa Claus parade.
Oh. Why don't you, depending on what time you get back,
why don't you meet us?
So I got there two floats before the big man came by.
So I saw.
Perfect time to arrive.
I saw exactly the right amount of parade for myself.
I saw my kids who got to see Santa Claus
and Mrs. Claus join him in Whitby.
She does do that.
She doesn't. I think she's joining them in the big one too.
Is she? I believe so, yeah.
Then the question came from my two children
that were there.
What are the ages again?
Five and a half and two and a half.
Does Mrs. Claus ride with Santa in the sleigh?
Great question.
Let me hear the answer.
The answer was, sometimes,
sure, if she can, she will.
But other times she has to stay back in the North Pole and, you know, get things ready for when Santa and the elves come back.
Or Santa, you know, when Santa comes back and maybe she's got to take care of the elves.
This is a great question for young girls because, yeah, Santa's doing all the work and then mrs claus is like
keeping the house like clean and we need barbie to answer this question that's amazing barbie would
really just destroy this whole thing wait till the feminists get a hold of this and santa will
be a woman right well hey at least a joint effort let's give something so i think it's realistic to
suggest that mrs claus would be on the sle with him. When it comes to a bullshit fairy tale, go nuts.
Right. Well, yeah, because I mean,
the question really should be, how the fuck does he
fit presents for every single kid in the world?
Magic. Including
all the Muslim children, Jewish
children, Kwanzaa children. I love that part.
Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's right. That's why I heard this controversy
over the lyrics to
Do They Know It's Christmas?
Because they did it for Ebola, I think, countries of Ebola.
And it's, of course, Do They Know It's Christmas?
And the most offensive part, of course, is that the vast majority of the people in the Ebola-affected nations are not Christian.
Right.
And there is Do They Know It's Christmas?
They don't care it's Christmas because they're Muslim.
Right.
And, of course, Santa being the son of God,
it's really difficult for them to put two and two together.
There's some fallout after episode 98,
the Brian Laudan episode.
So the fact is nobody's agreeing with you
and people are starting to think you're off your meds.
Well, I find it funny that people are trying to apply logic
to a completely illogical statement I made
that is about another illogical thing altogether.
Yes, okay.
So the same way like with Santa,
whenever it's difficult to explain something,
we talk about it's magic.
And that answers it because kids love,
that's the answer, it's magic.
So religion is very similar in that
whenever something's difficult to explain,
it's sort of, you need, it's like blind faith.
Like if you need to see it to believe it,
you're a doubting Thomas and that's bad.
Like you have to believe it on blind faith
or it's not legitimate somehow.
It's sort of magic.
We should record on every Sunday.
I guess my point is that for one fairy tale, when kids, I don't know what the age is, it's always different.
Because I got a nephew who's 10 and apparently still believes.
But my daughter was born that same day, so she's 10.
And this is not her first Christmas not believing.
Now, is your nephew the oldest?
The only.
The only, so there you go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm guessing that that is it.
And I told my brother,
my brother's like, should I tell him?
Because his fear, my brother's fear
is that my nephew will go to school
and mention something, like Santa's coming.
And there's another philosophy out there
that your kids grow up to recognize that you then lied to them.
What else are you lying about?
Right.
I feel like that one is a big stretch only because I've had such heart-to-hearts of my two kids about it all.
And they totally get it.
And they get that this is just the one big white lie that all parents in the neighborhood are going to tell their kids. Because we need to make sure that they understand the value of consumerism and collecting goods for this holiday season.
And the only real way to show that you love someone is to give them a material item.
And only ask Santa for things that mommy and daddy can get at Walmart.
Right.
Because those elves are not going to make something else.
Hopefully no kids listen to this fucking show.
No, they don't. That's for sure. So where was I going? make something else. Hopefully no kids listen to this fucking show. No, they don't.
That's for sure.
So where was I going?
Oh, yeah.
So at some point,
these kids at eight or nine or whatever,
they realize this is like a bullshit fairy tale.
Ha ha.
You got me.
But with religion,
that doesn't happen necessarily.
This is something people take to their grave.
They do.
They believe in it.
Yes.
So can we just evolve to a point where we don't need this crutch anymore of the blind leading the blind?
Can we just stop?
I think it's comforting to a lot of people.
Can we stop?
Look at the ugliness.
Can we stop?
Especially this time of year.
I hate it.
I would be more than happy.
I hate the commercialism most because it's so crass and it's everywhere.
And it's all about accumulating stuff and buying stuff that nobody needs.
We all have enough stuff.
And I hate the whole you have to buy and you have to consume and you have to spend money.
And, oh, just, you know, at the end of the season, they're telling you basically like, oh, you know, retailers, it was up 14 percent.
And Black Friday was down 11 percent.
It's always always followed by the report that consumer debt is at an all time high.
They take away mortgage and they say the average Canadian owes like $30,000 in credit card debt or whatever.
It's all just too much.
There's that.
And then this whole religion thing.
Somebody I used to follow, you know, Pete?
Yeah.
Yeah, Pete Kick.
He's tweeting about how like, God, I want to get the line right.
But it's basically the sentiment.
Jesus is the reason for the season?
Yeah, but it's a better, it's an interesting line.
Don't take the Christ out of Christmas?
No, but that's the sentiment anyways.
It was about like God being pissed off at what you're celebrating, basically.
Right.
Enough is enough.
We need to evolve.
That's all.
Enough is enough.
Well, we know evolution doesn't exist, so that's going to be tough.
And that's why people think
the Barenaked Ladies wrote
Lovers in a Dangerous Time.
Exactly.
Or that Dave Grohl.
Dave Grohl.
They don't know he was a member of Nirvana.
Hey, what about the other guy, too?
Chris Cornell was in a couple of big bands.
Audioslave was a big band.
Yeah.
Not Foo Fighters big,
but a number of big rock hits.
My argument is that Nirvana and Foo Fighters
both were at the top
of the game. Paul McCartney's the answer to your question.
I think it's Paul McCartney.
I'm trying to think,
I'm going back to this because it's a fascinating one.
Dave Grohl might be the winner of the two biggest bands
to be a part of. I'm just trying to think
like,
I don't know. It's tough to do this live
but I'm running through bands.
You're going to have to do a little bit of Googling, I think.
Because you can't count.
You're not allowed to count solo in a band.
Because there's a lot of guys like that.
No, because then you get Peter Gabriel.
You're going to get Phil Collins.
You'll get...
Lots of people.
Yeah, fucking lots of guys.
Lots of guys starting bands.
And gals.
Yeah, lots of gals, too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
So, Lakeshore Parade was the same floats as last year
without the interesting Maple Leaf dressing room
and Raptor dressing room
because MLSE dropped out this year
and they had some interesting floats last year.
So it was actually not as good as last year.
Pretty predictable.
And there's a lot of space.
You can show up at the time this parade starts
and have like an entire like 10 meter space at the curb.
Wow.
And as you know, it's not a very long walk.
Yeah.
So that was yesterday and I blogged about it.
If you want to see more,
tell me about,
uh,
your discovery of this new podcast called Toronto Mike,
because,
uh,
we,
we always joke.
And it's true that you never listen.
You never listen to never.
And you're proud of this fact,
uh,
even though it hurts me inside every time you say it,
but you did,
did first of all,
you did something you've never done. And I it, but you did, first of all, you did something
you've never done. And I don't think you've ever done. I think you only phone me when you have to
tell me you have cancer or something. So you never call me and you phone me the other day.
I called you. Yeah. It was probably the first call since you said, Oh, Mike, by the way,
I have cancer. It was a big deal. It was a big deal. I really felt as though it needed, like,
you know, it was that important for me to call you up and say, Mike, I listened to,
I think it was the Mike Wilner podcast. So I'd only in, in true, true to be a hundred percent
truthful. I had listened to one episode before, and that was a Jeff Merrick episode. And I loved
it. I thought it was great. It was captivating. I really was fascinated by it. And then I decided
after last week, I said, you know what? I don't think that I'm adding value to this podcast by coming in and saying, and because I know that you've consistently now for
a number of weeks sort of recap the episodes that you have recorded with quote unquote famous people
and I have no commentary. Local famous celebrities. Correct. So I decided that I was going to go back
and revisit, well not revisit, just visit your podcast for the first time.
And I went on a spree
and I listened to a good number
of the celebrity podcasts that you've had.
And I listened to some of the podcasts that I was on.
How did you sound?
And it was very, it was difficult,
but I don't remember being as difficult as it was when I used to do
production of commercials.
Because your balls dropped.
Sure.
I guess.
But it was interesting.
It was interesting.
I was,
I,
I,
so for our episodes,
I think,
you know,
I can see why people like it or don't like it.
It's just basically two guys riffing.
I don't think that we do anything bad or super good for that matter, but it is, I think it's interesting anyway. Um,
but I did listen to the other episodes and I actually, I took, this is how serious I'm taking
this mic. I made notes as I was listening. I made notes on the podcast cause I have some feedback.
The floor is yours. I wanted to talk about it. So in no particular order, but mad dog,
I wanted to talk about it.
I'm dying to hear this.
In no particular order, but Mad Dog.
Mad Dog.
So I must confess that I remember being in radio and we used to make fun of Mad Dog specifically.
We used to make fun of him
because we found it interesting that,
first of all, his name was Mad Dog
and that he made this big unveiling on the air of,
I'm going to change my name and go to my real name.
And then he went to Jay Michaels,
which we know is not his real name.
Oh yeah, when he came to CHFI. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So he went from Jay McNeil to Jay
Michaels. Yeah. Um, so that was a big, cause of course we were in, you know, we were in an
independent radio station and we thought we were cooler and we would play music that no one else
would listen to and stuff. So, um, we made fun of him and I, and I felt bad. I tweeted him and
told him, you know, I really respect him as a broadcaster. I was
captivated by just listening to him, regardless of what he said. And he said a lot of really
interesting things and he was super honest and really compelling. He's a really good broadcaster.
Um, I think he is just, he's just fantastic. And he's probably the most professional broadcaster
you've had on this show. That's more so than Greg Brady. Yes, absolutely. Greg Brady to me is a great broadcaster,
but also he's a very casual, down to earth,
just chatting with some buddies kind of guy.
And not that Jay isn't down to earth.
Obviously he demonstrated that he very much was,
but he just came across to me
even when he was being himself
as a very professional broadcaster.
So kudos to him, thumbsumbs up to, to mad dog.
And,
and so I won't listen to a show cause he doesn't have the type of music or
format that I like,
but I have to say that I'm,
uh,
he changed my mind in terms of not that that means anything to him,
I'm sure,
but,
uh,
definitely changed my mind in terms of my view of him as a broadcaster.
He's very nice to me on Twitter as well.
So yeah.
And he follows everyone who follows him.
Yeah. And he'll reply. That's also my, he's very accessible. That's twitter as well so yeah and he follows everyone who follows him yeah
and he'll reply that's also my he's very accessible that's my move on my professional
twitter account that's my move too unless of course you're trying to sell me twitter followers
or trying to make me a website you know whatever colleen rush home i have to say uh she should just
do her entire shows in german um because when there was one point at the beginning where she
threw out some german i was just like wow that's super hot yeah super hot because you're thinking of
catering of it maybe yeah in playboy because that was a big deal yeah even before she went
in playboy though i had a big crush on her in the uh was it 84 88 maybe both yeah yeah so i was a
steffi graf uh person myself oh yeah is interesting. She wasn't conventionally pretty.
No, she was sexy, though.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I really enjoyed Colleen. It was fun to
sort of just listen to you riff with her. I felt
as though you lost a little bit of steam with her towards the
end. Did she wear me out with the Ted Dance
and stuff? It's not her fault, but I think
you lost a little bit of steam. Is that right?
That was just my impression. But you also
came across as having this massive, massive
air of superiority when it comes to the suburbs um and i've noticed that obviously with with oshawa
certainly which is an easy oh hamilton but then you threw you threw hamilton but you're insulting
you're insulting hamilton by calling them a suburb oshawa is not a suburb either technically
they're a city but uh oshawa is more suburb than uh hamilton like hamilton maybe within the last
10 years,
but certainly it's very much its own city.
Anyway,
please continue.
Okay.
I know,
you know what? I basically believe what I said was,
and I,
you would know better than me because I haven't heard since the day after,
but I believe I said people in Hamilton don't like Toronto.
And this was because I get a lot of Twitter followers on.
You were asking if we get a Hamilton radio station.
I know.
I think I was being funny.
I was just being funny.
You're a fucking idiot.
Anyway,
I listen to a St. Catherine's station
all the time.
Right.
And probably an Oshawa station too,
right?
94.9.
I'm going to talk about it in a bit.
All right.
Add the sock.
Add the sock.
So this was interesting
because I'd never heard
Stephen Kersner before.
And my impression is that
Ed the Sock isn't really a character at all.
Ed the Sock, to me, is him.
He's the guy.
He uses Ed the Sock.
They have the same political beliefs.
He uses Ed the Sock as the opportunity
to be able to talk about some of the shit
that no one cares of what Steve has to say
because Steve is just a Steve.
Yeah, right.
And he can get away with stuff
that a human can't get away with.
But, you know,
he can come in
and talk about some of the shit.
So he struck me as
maybe a somewhat tortured guy
because there was times
where he felt like talking
about the whole triumph,
the insult,
comic dog and stuff like that.
But again,
came across really well.
I liked it. It was compelling. It like that. But again, came across really well. I liked it.
It was compelling.
It was interesting.
But it was very interesting to see how now I can't listen to Ed the Sock without picturing this guy that I don't know what he looks like.
I didn't Google him.
Let's just say he wasn't going to hit his head on this.
But it was really good.
I like that one too.
Mike Wilner, definitely in your top two podcasts of interviewing people, I felt by far.
Top what?
Top two.
With Jeff Merrick?
Jeff Merrick and Wilner.
So Mad Dog didn't beat Merrick.
I just wanted to clarify that.
No.
Okay.
Nope.
But for me, Wilner really humanized himself.
I feel as though he should have a disclaimer with every, every single time he starts his,
his show by saying,
Hey guys,
if you're not going to communicate with me in an intelligent,
thoughtful way,
I'm going to tell you that you're a fucking asshole,
which is where the arrogance come from.
But that arrogance go totally goes away when he explained why he does what
he does.
And so I really,
I re I was a fan of Wilner before.
I,
I do enjoy the arrogance that he does sometimes exhibit.
Um, but I'm even more of a fan of him now.
I thought it was just a fantastic.
I rehabilitated his image.
You humanized him.
I humanized him.
You made him.
I have done the impossible.
I have humanized Wilner.
There are people right now that are just like, what the fuck?
Uh, but I really enjoyed that podcast.
I thought it was super compelling.
Um, and then finally, Aaron Davis, I thought you guys had a lot of fun together uh lovely woman her husband for being in the radio industry really needs to know how to talk into the fucking miles
long um and which is a great fucking name um and uh i found as though that she it was interesting
it was like she was a different character her re it's almost like she's
like to use a very extreme example, Howard Stern on the air is very different than Howard Stern,
you know, the individual and the person. And it seems as though, even though I don't really
listen to Aaron Davis all that much from what I see in commercials and, and the little snippets
of her shows, she's like this, you know, like very, you know, uh, nice sort of nothing offensive.
Yeah. It's not going to be as political. Yeah. And then in person, you know like very you know uh nice sort of nothing offensive yes it's not gonna be as political yeah and then in person you guys went off on uh you know like a rob ford thing
which was boring same with calling rush home it's only boring because uh you're listening now
now it was boring back then i think that was just to ask about people uh and jay michaels as well
i don't know why you decided to bring up and ed the sock we talked about ford i get that because
ed the sock sort of talks about that stuff.
And that election just happened.
And she was cursing and stuff.
So that was interesting.
Again, it sort of...
You know, I asked those questions.
I only asked those questions because I'm actually interested in what the person will say about it.
I'm actually interested in what Aaron Davis will say about living in the city with Rob Ford as mayor.
I want to hear what she says about that.
That's why I only ask questions I care about.
That's boring. The interesting question you did
ask her about politics was
can you say something about
politics
because your show is so apolitical?
That was interesting. But asking someone if they like Rob Ford,
that's like asking somebody if they think the sky is blue.
A lot of people
voted for Rob Ford.
In Etobicoke, sure, as a council. More than Etobicoke sure as a council more than etobicoke he had a
48 or something 40 anyways rob ford didn't want to mayor 2010 i'm talking about you weren't talking
about 2010 you were talking about now anyways my point is a lot of people support report and
four nations still got more votes than just etobicoke that's it anyways etobicoke is an
important we're in we're talking right now live from Atopico. Anyways, that question, I think,
has to be asked in the heart of the storm.
I want to know what these people think of 4 Nation.
You hate the 4 Nation talk.
You're bored of it.
At that time, right now, I actually am bored of it because I think we've moved on now.
It's gone quiet, thankfully.
But at that time, I think you had to ask.
Go on.
Okay, so Aaron Davis.
Okay, yeah.
By the way, to this day i keep i would
i would meet aaron davis today for coffee she seemed super nice because yes everybody seems
super super nice down to earth they were like really forthcoming uh you know i think you've
evolved a lot as an interviewer in a very positive way without suggesting that you were bad before
but you've definitely become no i've i needed to get my reps in. I'm much better now. I'm much better now.
Yeah, so I really enjoyed it.
It's still on my phone.
The feed has always been on my phone,
but now I'm actually listening to them.
I am so honored to have a new listener
and its co-host, Elvis.
Now, that also then turned me on to another podcast.
I don't know if it's on your list.
It is.
It's next.
I cannot get over
how fascinating and captivating and just so excellent the serial podcast is. Yes. It is so
wonderful. Serial S E R I A L. Yep. Oh my goodness. It is. No, it's next on my list. I want to talk
about it. So great. So great. I love it. So we've, we've, we are now, uh, finished episode 10 and
there is only 12 in this season. So there's only two more to go.
Yeah, and I tweeted the other day that I am anxious to get to the end, to have a resolution, which I also know that we're not going to have one.
Because you've got to think they're going to hold back some interesting nuggets I think she would hold on to for the last couple episodes.
But at the same time, I also know that I don't want it to ever end and i know that
there isn't going to be a resolution we know today he's in jail so he's in jail and there is an appeal
of an appeal in january middle of january which is like a long shot or whatever yeah so no i'm with
you like uh i like the reason i always liked i used and i like i like it less now than i used to
but i used to love 60 minutes okay i like and like, and I love, I love documentaries and I love this American, uh, this American life,
which is the basically cereals, like a long episode of that.
Um, I like a story, like tell me an interesting story.
I like true stories too.
Yes.
I like true stories.
So tell me an interesting true story.
Like that's what the documentary hoop dreams, for example.
I don't know if you've seen hoop dreams, but there's, I mean, it's a very long documentary. I can watch it over and over again. Tell me an interesting story. Like that's what the documentary hoop dreams, for example, I don't know if you've seen hoop dreams, but there's,
I mean,
it's a very long documentary.
I can watch it over and over again.
Tell me an interesting story.
And this serial podcast is just that an interesting,
true story.
It is.
It is.
And it's compelling.
And it's just the way they present the,
the information.
And it's just,
it's just the way she'll talk.
And then she,
yeah,
she does a good job moderating if you will.
And she sounds like she seems like a normal person. Yeah uh she used to be a baltimore it's funny because
on the table we have a box out of the wire because that was written by uh people who used to cover it
worked for the baltimore sun yeah cover so it's they come from the same place the same kind of
spirit actually uh the wire being fictional but lots of it based on real stuff
that was going down in baltimore and this being of course 100 real what i love is that uh at this
point 10 episodes in i actually go back and forth to minute by minute i go back and forth thinking
he was he's innocent yeah guilty yeah i go back and forth it's difficult to sort of come in this
jay guy i just want to talk to jay i have i for, if I were to, without giving anything away.
But you know, that's the thing too.
There's not really a spoiler here.
No, there isn't.
Because you can Google everything.
And it's not a spoiler anyways.
Right.
But if I had to put money on it right now, I would say that Adnan is innocent.
And Jay is the one who actually killed this girl.
Because Jay was jealous.
But.
But. But... But...
Coincidentally...
Yeah?
Adnan lent him the car and the phone that day?
Yeah, so...
I think...
I do believe it's...
Because that's a hell of...
It's weird.
That is weird.
Here's my car and phone.
Oh, well, he lent me the car and phone.
Now I'm going to go murder his ex-girlfriend and frame him.
It is weird.
But I wouldn't necessarily say that that's probably out of the ordinary in
high school.
If you're,
if a buddy,
they weren't,
I don't know if they were even really friends.
They smoked weed.
Yeah.
They were casual.
It could have been just like,
Hey,
take my car.
I don't have a phone.
I don't have a car here.
Take mine.
Cause I'm going to be in school and being in track practice anyway,
take my shit,
go,
go buy us some weed and whatever.
And then,
you know,
we'll meet up later and smoke it.
Regardless, it's clear that he
wasn't represented appropriately
because we have things like Asia.
Her testimony was at the library
or whatever, and there's a lot of stuff.
And now that episode 10, and yeah, I guess
they're kind of spoilers. We won't go too much. But in episode 10,
we talk about the lawyer that
represented him. Yes, which is also fascinating.
Yeah, and
she's no longer with us, so we can't talk to her today because she died
uh shortly thereafter i guess but um but bottom line is it is a fascinating
podcast and i really think this is going to help the whole podcasting game like because this is
one of those ones that transcends the geeks and the podcast crowd and kind of goes like and they have it's kind of broken people are talking about
podcasts in a way they never talked about before like this to me is gonna do for podcasting what
like survivor did for reality tv and they have like sponsors and there's gonna be a season two
which is interesting i love that commercial that's great eh and then the girl sounds like julia
roberts who says i use mailchimp or whatever yeah yeah and then at the end that commercial. That's great, eh? Mail a chimp. And then the girl sounds like Julia Roberts who says, I use MailChimp or whatever.
Yeah, yeah.
And then at the end,
that commercial at the end,
I use MailChimp.
Oh, really?
Yeah, it's fascinating.
It's great.
I love it so much.
The other one can't keep up
because the other one,
Squarespace is?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
To me, they need better copy
for their ad because of how-
What do they do again?
They build websites?
Yeah, I think they just build
professional websites.
Right.
But yeah, the MailChimp ad
is fantastic.
MailChimp?
Absolutely. I love itChimp. Absolutely.
I love it so much.
It's such a great podcast.
So everyone,
if you listen to this podcast and cereal,
yeah,
it's fair.
I can't say how good I,
I just love it so much.
I would love to like have podcasting be like my full-time job to devote real
energy to like fascinating stories.
Like Toronto's got to have nothing at that level of interest,
but there's fascinating stories in Toronto.
If you actually had the hours and the energy to spend towards it,
there's stuff here in the city.
Would you rather have the time and money to spend towards that
or to get clipless pedals for your bike?
Yeah, I would do that before I got clipless pedals.
Really?
Yeah, I remember I'm very happy. It makes me so, so upset that that before i got clipless pedals really yeah well i'm happy i
remember i'm very happy it makes me so so upset that you don't have clipless pedals anyway
eventually maybe this spring i'm sold okay this spring um quick story like a interesting story i
think is that uh i had a exchange years back with a dj named kid craig. No one's heard of Kid Craig?
Okay.
So Kid Craig was on Virgin 99.9
where Mad Dog is.
And Kid Craig and I had this exchange.
I won't even elaborate.
It's kind of a personal exchange,
so I won't even elaborate on the exchange
except to say that we had,
it was all through email and virtual.
So I never met the man,
but we had this relationship from something.
Okay.
So very cryptic.
I'll tell you later,
but I just don't think I should tell that story
at a school or whatever.
But me and Kid Craig have this thing.
Monica knows all about it.
And Monica and I go to a party hosted by Ford Canada,
not Ford Nation.
Okay.
Ford Canada.
Yeah.
It's called a blue party.
So we're at a blue party
and it's kind of a neat thing.
There's lots of food.
And is this the one where you posted the pictures up on Facebook?
I may be.
I don't know.
It wasn't it.
That would know that was her company party.
Okay.
Because the Grinch was there.
Oh, right.
It was amazing.
That party was amazing.
You know, there's a new hotel right beside this aquarium by the CN Tower in Skydome.
I don't know some famous chain that came here and they mandarin or not mandarin the um i wish
monica can i yell at her she's upstairs anyway uh we were the very that was the very first party
ever hosted at this brand new hotel like right there by the aquarium okay so that's another story so this is another party
this is a ford party blah blah blah there's a dj like a dj is doing his thing for this ford party
and monica tells me that's kid craig she says to me oh really yeah so i'm like oh fuck kid gets
okay because like he we know each other you've never met him never met i've never met kid craig
so monica's like that's kid craig and i'm like oh like how do you know like oh he announced that
his name is kid craig that that's kid craig from the virgin or whatever so at some point while he's
doing his thing he's there's a break where things are playing i go up to the dj he takes off his
headphones he's very nice to me but we have a nice chat and i tell him hey i'm toronto mike
remember whatever whatever we i do this whole thing Like I'm yelling in his ear or whatever.
Yeah, he doesn't remember you.
He looks at me.
No, I'm not Kid Craig, okay?
Ha, ha.
And I took a note
because I forgot the story
and it came up the other day,
but it was so embarrassing.
Like I tell him,
I'm Toronto Mike.
You remember we did whatever,
whatever, whatever, whatever.
Like there's no way he would remember it
because I remember how I remember.
Yesterday during the Leaf game, I tweeted something about the Leafs being so unpredictable.
Like, they'll beat a good team.
Yep.
By a lot.
And they'll dominate.
And then they'll play somebody like Buffalo and get hammered.
Right.
Like, they're so, you don't know what you're going to get.
Like, you don't know what you're going to get.
Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde.
He tweeted back at me because I tweeted at 4-0.
We were destroying Vancouver.
And he was reminding me that with the Leafs, you can't I tweeted at 4-0 we were destroying Vancouver and he was reminding me
that with the Leafs you can't bank on a 4-0 Leaf.
Yeah, fucking what's his name last night
referred to the three goal debacle.
Yeah, it was 4-1.
Who was it? I guess it was Glenn Healy.
Or was it Craig Simpson?
I think it was Craig Simpson.
Because it was 4-1
and then they scored to make it 4-2
and he was like, oh, here we go.
And then of course Clarkson puts the nail in the coffin.
Clarkson with his eighth goal of the season.
Rick C. in Oakville wants us to talk about it,
but what are we going to say?
You're just going to tell me that you're going to tell me
it's a terrible contract, and you're right,
and I'm going to tell you that he's...
No, I don't say that.
You're the one who always brings up the contract.
He's a terrible player who doesn't need to be brought in here
as any player, let alone a touted second-line, maybe first a terrible player. He's a terrible player who doesn't need to be brought in here as any player,
let alone a touted second line, maybe first line player.
Do you like him better now than you did this time last year?
Absolutely not.
Of course you do.
No, I don't.
No, he scored.
The only time he can score last night,
when there's a fucking sieve of a goalie, open net.
Empty net.
There's no one in the net, and that's the only time.
That is goal number eight.
Rick C.
Clarkson still fucking sucks.
How many goals does Kessel have?
Because the only time he can.
Can you find out how many goals Kessel has?
The only time he can score is when there's no one in the fucking net last night.
Hold on.
Tell me.
Yes, last night.
But that's his eighth.
Whoa.
Fucking roll out the red carpet.
He had four goals last year.
Here we go.
He's going to.
How many goals does Kessel have?
Come on.
Hart Ross.
Hart Ross?
Hart Ross.
That's the Hart trophy. I made up the Hart trophy. Tell... How many goals does Kessel have? Come on. Hart-Ross. Hart-Ross? Hart-Ross. That's the Hart trophy.
Tell me how many goals Kessel has.
Hold on a second. I'm going to guess
11, but that's a guess. I actually don't know.
He's also battling injuries, as Damien told us
last night. I heard that.
Rest the poor guy if he's got
all these injuries. Come on.
He had very little ice time. I don't know how many goals
Phil Kessel has right now. I just want to
hear this answer.
You're going to somehow suggest that?
I just want to hear the number. You're going to suggest that
he's not as good as David Clarkson?
Is that what you're trying to say? I'm trying to let you know that
eight goals at this point in the season is
pretty good.
That's all. It's not Bozak
good, but it's pretty good. Kessel's going to destroy
him overall.
Kessel has 26 games played, 13 goals, 14 assists for 27 points.
Okay, 13 goals by your de facto number one goal scorer.
Who's injured.
Kind of injured, but playing.
Who's injured.
I believe in terms of points, he's in the top 10.
Yeah, Kessel's not...
I'm not saying Clarkson's at Kessel's level.
I guess I was just trying to say that eight's pretty good.
But actually, yeah, so he's five away from Kessel.
You know, I will give this to Clarkson,
is that he hasn't got suspended yet.
So fucking good on him.
He has eight goals, two assists for a mighty 10 points in 26 games.
He doesn't get a lot of ice time.
He's a minus three.
Not as much power play time.
And of course, he's got 29 penalty minutes,
because we know how smart of a player David Clarkson is.
He does take a lot of suitability.
Yeah, because he's a smart
player. Because he's engaged. He's an idiot.
Good local boy. As Don Cherry
likes to tell us. He's not a good local boy. He's a shitty
local boy player. Because you're from
Toronto doesn't mean that you're good. He's no
David Bolin, but he's pretty good. He's horrible.
Hey, Florida Panthers are doing pretty good this year.
Just want to throw that out there. They're actually doing pretty good.
Well, because they have a goalie, for one.
The Leafs are actually in a playoff spot right now,
as are the Florida Panthers, which is interesting.
Okay, all right, that's all.
So my Kid Craig story,
I just remembered that when he tweeted at me last night.
So are you going to tell Kid Craig?
So why did Monica think that it was Kid Craig?
Is he another Kid Craig, this guy?
No, no.
He's not DJ Craig?
I don't know.
Monica, she said she screwed up and she felt bad.
I don't know why Monica heard him say his name is Kid Craig. That's an amazing prank to play. But't know. Monica, she said she screwed up and she felt bad. I don't know why Monica heard him say his name was Kid Craig.
That's an amazing prank to play.
But I know.
She didn't do it on purpose.
I mean, it would be hilarious if she did.
That would have been the move.
That would have been the move.
If I was Monica and I made that mistake, I'd be like, gotcha.
That's an Elvis move.
It's not a Monica move.
She would never make that move.
But I actually wish she would.
We are married to women who are genuine and nice and not assholes.
They don't have that.
Yeah, that's it.
They don't have the asshole instinct.
Right.
But it's so much fun.
Yeah, we have it.
Like, we have to repress it all the time.
Yeah.
You listen to yourself.
You are, what I say, a jerk.
Is that right?
Right?
Because I actually said this to my brother yesterday.
I like doing the podcast with you
because when you're here, I become the nice guy.
But when are you not the nice guy?
Well, I mean, you can be a jerk too.
I can be a bit of a jerk, but I've softened in my older years.
Oh, speaking of which, I remembered the note that I was supposed to give you.
And I'm thinking out loud, no one's going to care about this.
But remember, there was a thank you card that I forgot last time and I brought it.
Oh, you have it?
So remind me that I need to bring it to you.
Is there a cash in it?
No.
Then keep it.
No, there's no fucking cash. Just kidding, Mrs. Elvis. It's for Monica. Who might be listening. It's for Monica time and I brought it. Oh, you have it? So remind me that I need to bring it to you. Is there a cash in it? No. Then keep it. No, there's no fucking cash.
Just kidding, Mrs. Elvis. It's for Monica. Who might be listening?
It's for Monica. Monica will appreciate it. She listens to ours.
Oh, I saw Charlie in
the outfit we got him because Jarvis has
the same outfit, so it was kind of funny to see
Jarvis and Charlie in the same outfit.
The interesting thing is, so
I call that his wizard outfit.
Yeah, it's like a wizard outfit.
I think it reminds me of that shirt that Billy Cor uh that uh billy corgan wore uh the smashing pumpkin yes you're right i
zero tonight tonight zero tonight tonight why do i think one of them i remember when i think of
billy corgan i think of him in a blue dark blue turtleneck yeah that was his move for a long time
i remember just just there's a lot of artists that like they when they break they have
hair and then when they get the peak of their fame there's no hair on their head i'm thinking
gore downey i'm thinking the guy from rem michael stipe and i'm thinking billy corgan these are guys
at the peak of their fame they are completely bald but when they start out they've got hair
it's a thing yeah when you get old you lose your hair Do you remember Frozen Ghost?
No Really?
Frozen Ghost, no, I don't remember Frozen Ghost
Your upper 30s, late 30s?
Yeah, late 30s
I'm surprised by this
Big CanCon act in like the late 80s
No, I don't remember Frozen Ghost
Okay, so this story is much better if you remember Frozen Ghost
Are they related to DJ Kid Craig?
No, this is completely unrelated
Kid Craig, that's a funny name Here, this is completely unrelated, but here,
let me play.
Do do do here.
Hold on.
Okay.
So frozen ghost is a band that had a lot of,
this is not frozen ghost.
This is sheriff sheriff and frozen ghost.
Speaking of artists in two big bands put on the list,
Arnold Lanny,
Arnold Lanny. Arnold Lanny was in this band, Sheriff.
Are we going to dance?
It does remind me of my Gate 7 dance.
Can you stick a finger in my butthole, please?
No.
Not again.
Okay.
This is...
All I feel. This is... Oh, babe. Lost in love.
It's all I need.
All I feel.
Somebody was trying to find Arnold Lanny,
who is on this track right now.
Is he singing?
I think he's singing.
Yeah?
And he sings for Frozen Ghost,
which I remember Frozen Ghost.
Sheriff, this is to me a one-hit wonder.
I only know this song by Sheriff. It could very well be. I remember Frozen Ghost. Sheriff, this is to me a one-hit wonder. I only know this song by Sheriff.
It could very well be.
I don't know.
I wouldn't have known
that it was Sheriff.
CanCon, by the way.
This is now CanCon.
SoCan's going to come after you
for fees.
They might, actually,
when this becomes
bigger than Jesus.
Baby, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Great song.
This is a good make-out song if you were in elementary school.
Don't get any ideas.
Don't get any ideas.
Okay.
Did you do a lot of making out in elementary school?
No.
I know.
I remember playing Spin the Bottle in grade eight.
And then we had a dare game where I had to tongue this girl named Agnes.
And I remember I slipped it in for one second
and took it out.
That's what she said.
I digress.
That was grade 8.
Was that your first French kiss?
It wasn't really a French kiss, but it was a little tongue.
Tongues touched for one second.
And that was the first time.
Grade school, I did no making out.
I didn't do any making out.
But today, it's different because I learned from Degrassi, the next generation,
that in grade school now, primary school, they are doing much more than making out.
That's sad.
There is certain acts happening.
Sex?
No, I'm thinking of...
Flow jobs.
Felicio.
That's not an Italian soccer player for those of you who are maybe innocent.
I learned that because there was a game.
I learned that joke from Erin Davis.
I love that joke, by the way.
She said fellatio was an Italian soccer player.
I thought that was fucking hilarious.
And you learned that from Cronoman.
I've used it twice now since.
I'm trying to tell a story here.
This is better than the Kid Craig story.
You're making out with Agnes.
I'm making out with Arnold Lanny.
No, I'm getting confused.
Okay.
So I get an email from somebody who's Googling Arnold Lanny.
Let me read the email to you.
This is the strangest thing I've ever done.
My name is Katerina Lanny.
I go by Kathy.
Over the past few years, I have received several phone calls from agents wanting to book Arnold Lanny of Frozen Ghost.
They call me as my telephone listing is A. Lanny, my husband's initial.
And they assume I'm related to him.
I wish.
If you have any way of contacting Arnold Lanny, this person is very interested in speaking with him to book.
So I get this email.
And there's a name and a number,
Arnold Lanny urgent. So I basically, uh, don't know. I don't know Arnold Lanny, but I do know
of Arnold Lanny. Okay. So I, I start tweeting. Does anyone know how I can reach Arnold Lanny?
A bunch of people write me messages that they know a guy who knows a guy. Like I start to build up a
list of ways I could get to Arnold Lanny. I got three different routes right now.
And then I realized, this is the best,
I realized Arnold Lanny's on Twitter.
I find Arnold Lanny's there.
Wasn't that your first move?
I don't know.
My first move, because I'm stupid, I guess,
my first move was to tweet,
does anyone know how I can get a message to Arnold Lanny?
So I had a bunch of routes to Arnold.
People who know me, who know Arnie and stuff like radio people.
Right.
But then I actually tweet at Arnold Lanny directly and I'm like, hey, man, big fan.
I got a message for you.
How do I get this to you?
And then he sends me his email address.
And then I have a nice, pleasant kind of back and forth with Arnold Lanny.
Nice.
Via email. He's in california like
producing oh really music for like real artists and stuff wow i don't have a name to drop but um
he's got a life career uh musical career i don't know why i don't know why i'm so surprised he
shouldn't be surprised he's uh he was a fucking great frozen freaking ghost you remember popper
you don't remember i am a popper in Paradise. You don't remember...
No.
All right.
Frozen Ghost.
The only song you seem to know
is this one.
This one and the one
from Armageddon.
Oh, no.
Diane Warren.
Yeah.
This is a great...
This is probably
one of the greatest rock and roll.
This is top five
rock and roll songs of all time.
I'm having a deja vu moment.
Did I play this recently?
Okay, okay.
I was about to tell you,
this is a fantastic sports montage song.
You said that last time too.
And I hear the song now.
I see, I saw one from like 50 years of sports
from Sports Illustrated,
where it was just all the greatest sports moments
montage to this song.
So I saw this like years ago.
I have it somewhere on YouTube.
It's the best.
The best montage I've ever seen.
And then I saw
a Wendell Clark tribute
that MLSC did.
It's not All Heart
because All Heart is the greatest.
All Heart is the greatest one.
But it's the next best
to this song,
Wendell Clark tribute.
And I went to a Marley's game
and they actually played it
on the big screen.
Really?
And now when I hear the song,
It's fucking great.
I see Wendell Clark.
This song is so good.
It really is their greatest work.
It's...
Is it better than Sweet Emotion?
It is interesting to listen to this song
because it doesn't really sound like Steven Tyler anymore.
You're absolutely right.
He changed his delivery.
As a young man before something happened to his voice.
You're right.
Whether it be the drugs, whether it be aging,
whether it be whatever.
It doesn't sound like Steven Tyler. You're absolutely right.
Yeah. This sounds like someone else. And I'm going to say
This is Perry singing.
I'm going to say it's the drugs because
he was still, I mean, he wasn't like, you know,
old, but
certainly not young by any stretch doing this song.
He would have been like early
20s, late teens. If you were going to do a montage
of the greatest moments of us, like in the
podcast, like our arms. It would be this for sure. Would this be your song? Yeah. Yeah, absolutely going to do a montage of the greatest moments of us, like in the podcast, like our arms.
It would be this, for sure.
Would this be your song?
Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely.
Me burning a picture of Pope Benedict.
Oh, like Sinead O'Connor.
Side by side, Sinead O'Connor.
Stealing Sinead's bed.
How's she doing?
Didn't she become a priest?
She did.
But not a, she can't be a woman Catholic priest.
No, because of course they're sexist as well.
I thought you were going to say they're sexy.
No, women are second class citizens according to Pope Benedict
as well. Oh yeah.
But he's a great Pope.
Fucking idiots. He is
relative to other Popes. But that doesn't mean
relative to, how about being a
compassionate human being?
Wait, hold on. Quiet. Here it is.
Hold on.
Oh shit, I just remembered a Saturday Night Live bit
that I saw back in the early 90s
and it was
they wanted Michael Jordan to come back.
It was like after he retired, but during the two years
he played baseball and he was on this
I remember they did a
song, it was sort of like a USA for Africa
or a Do They Know It's Christmas type thing
with famous people singing
to Michael Jordan to tell him to come back.
And I remember, ready? It's coming back to me.
This is so long ago, ready?
Play on, play for the cheers.
Wait, wait, play for the cheers.
Play against Isaiah, play against Lambeer.
Really?
Yeah, play with, and it was like,
You're a great singer.
I can't remember the lyrics, but it was amazing.
It was telling Michael Jordan to come back, and it was to this song, and that was great, too.
Well, if you believe the conspiracy theories, he couldn't come back because he was suspended for two years for gambling.
Or one year, I guess it was, right?
One year?
Two years, though.
Two years, yeah.
You know why?
They won three in a row.
Then Houston wins two.
Correct.
And then they come back and throw in three in a row.
Right.
Those are dying because Detroit went back to back, right?
Yeah, they're bad boys.
And there's a great 30 for 30 dog on that.
Yeah, it's fantastic.
Yeah, it is fantastic.
Speaking of, Bill Lambert is fantastic in that too.
Yeah, he is.
He is.
There is something on Groupon right now.
You can buy all 100.
This is a bit Steven Tyler, right?
right now. You can buy all 100. This is a bit Steven Tyler-esque.
This and Sweet Emotion are my
two favorite. One of the greatest front men
in rock and roll history right here.
Yeah, that voice is
very pure. It's missing
the texture.
It's almost like he's holding back
in this version. Could I get Steven Tyler on this podcast?
I'm going to say no.
Given that Aerosmith can't get Steven Tyler to work with
them.
They're probably pissed at the American Idol nonsense.
No, apparently that's over.
Joe Perry was interviewed recently
by Howard Stern. Joe Perry came out
with a book and they asked
Steven Tyler if he had read Joe Perry's book.
Because Steven Tyler, of course, trashed Joe Perry in his book. And they asked Steven Tyler if he had read Joe Perry's book because Stephen Tyler of course trashed Joe Perry in his book and they asked Stephen Tyler if he had read Joe Perry's
book and Stephen Tyler said no because we're we're in a good place right now I don't want to
get pissed off at my bandmates again oh very good did you hear the uh Crosby, Stills, Nash,
and Young retrospective on Howard Stern I didn't it's on my list of I downloaded it I have this I
have this like Graham Nash right did it yes Graham Nash did it. I have this, I have this like, Graham Nash, right? Did it? Yes. Graham Nash did it. Uh, I have like a,
I don't know what to call it,
except it's an illegal feed.
I've subscribed to an iTunes that downloads,
uh,
each Howard knew how it's in iTunes.
Yeah.
So iTunes just treats it like cereal or Toronto Mike or humble and Fred.
It treats it like a podcast I listened to.
And each day would be five.
Each hour is its own MP3 and it comes in five parts.
So when I have time,
I'll listen to it.
But I've been busy lately.
I think it's a three-hour show,
is it?
Five?
I think it's five,
but I think maybe
the post-show stuff
is also there.
I think it's five hours
because it's like five MP3s.
That's intense.
Yeah.
Anyways,
I was listening to that on Friday
and it was very good.
Okay.
So there's my Arnold Lanny story. Like, what a great guy. And I told him, if he, I was listening to that on Friday and it was very good. Okay. So there's my Arnold
Lanny story. Like what a great guy. And I told
him if he's ever in Toronto, come on the podcast
and he pretended like he would.
How sweet.
So did you got him in your
message? Oh yeah. So I get him the info. Yeah. I got him all the info.
So this Katarina Lanny
contacted the right
guy for the job. On this? I felt like it was
my job to get that in. I felt like it was a message.
I felt like R2-D2.
Like, I have to get this message.
So this guy is now Princess Leia?
Obi-Wan Kenobi, yeah.
On the Sirius app, unfortunately,
it says the Graham Nash thing is one hour and seven minutes.
Oh, yeah, but I'm talking about,
when I said five hours,
I meant a regular Howard Stern.
Oh, well, the Graham Nash episode is on Howard
101.
It came in as one MP3
as it was a podcast. I thought it was cool.
Speaking of Star Wars, did you see the trailer for
the, what's it called again? The Force
Awakens. Which actually I like.
Yeah, I thought the trailer was really good.
There's black stormtroopers.
That's a big controversy.
Is it? It is, yeah. Why? Because people are saying that you can't have any black storm troopers. That's a big controversy. Is it?
It is.
Yeah.
Because people are saying that you can't have any black storm troopers because they're all supposed to be Django Fett,
uh,
clones,
which is what they were described.
Is that right?
And the universe,
the star Wars universe,
which I'm,
I only know from the movie.
I've,
I've read both.
I've read that.
Yes,
that is true.
But then apparently somewhere along the way,
like they would have to start recruiting.
And so, like, it's pretty obvious that they would, you know, start recruiting regular people to be stormtroopers.
Who fucking knows?
Whatever.
Okay, cool.
Like, instruction.
But I thought, nerd alert, nerd alert.
Okay, cool.
I liked it.
Now, I also liked the trailer to Phantom Menace and to all the other Star Wars.
Now that's pod racing.
Yeah.
But I thought that this was, you know,
it was a teaser trailer, right?
So it gives you, you know,
60 seconds of what you want to see
and what you want to hear.
There's that money shot with the Millennium Falcon.
Correct.
First of all, the voice over, which is Andy Serkis.
Yeah.
It's fantastic.
Yeah.
Because I play it real loud,
and then when you play it real loud
and you're kind of watching it.
The stormtrooper popping up
scares you.
Well,
there's two things
that did it for me.
One was the lightsaber.
I love the lightsaber.
That was pretty cool.
I heard this controversy
about that.
Fuck them.
And then two,
when it's done,
the music coming on
with the thing,
I mean,
that's just,
the Falcon?
That,
after the Falcon,
the music, you know,
and then Star Wars comes up. It just makes you
want to see it, right?
Tonight, I'm going to go and I'm going to start watching
Episode 4. And I'm going to
watch 4, 5, 6 again.
Yeah.
I just love that. There's nothing like...
I have them on VHS somewhere.
I have them on Blu-ray.
Oh, even better than widescreen VHS.
So, I have the VHS copy somewhere.
But there's nothing better than a black screen and then it pops, you know, Star Wars and then, you know, the text, you know, so pretty cool.
I really, I'm enjoying it.
Looks like your little man is awake.
Yeah, but I believe Monica's home now.
So Monica was shopping while the little man, Jarvis, napped.
And then my little monitor here, you can see.
Yeah, he's moving around.
This is really awesome for a podcast,
but he's going to stand up on his crib
just with his hands on the railing like he's in jail.
Like he's in jail.
Yeah, there he is.
And now he's got this hair coming in.
It looks like a faux hawk.
Yeah, it does, doesn't it?
Yeah.
Yeah, Monica's home,
so we don't actually have to do anything all right
okay so yeah that's my Arnold Lanny
story we have we can wrap anything by
the way I don't have like because I
don't have anything else to do so I have
one last thing that I want to say and
then I'll do one last I'm interested to
hear your your thoughts on this I have
some some old medication that I've
decided to get rid of.
Who are you, Grandpa Simpson? Yeah.
Yeah, and
I'm bringing it back to the
drugstore because I heard that that's what you're supposed to do
instead of putting it in the garbage.
Okay, yeah, and you don't want to flush it because it ends up in
the water stream maybe. Right, yeah, yeah.
That's the right thing to do? I don't know.
Should I sell it? Yeah.
Depends what it is. Like, are these uppers, downers?
What are we talking about?
Bennies?
Are these Bennies?
Quads?
Quaaludes?
Yeah, Quaaludes.
Do you know they don't make those anymore?
I do know that.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
I do know that.
I do know that if you analyze water, there's always a, some, there's always antidepressants
and birth control pills and like a, I don't know about the semen, but there's always antidepressants and birth control pills and like a stitch of that in there.
I don't know about the semen, but there's always traces of medication in the water,
like small traces.
If anyone is, oh, there's Monica.
If anybody wants to get some free meds, you have about five minutes between the time I
leave here to the time I get to the shop or start back down the street.
But what are these?
These are like for cancer?
What do you have? They give you cancer. i don't take any medicine they would give you
cancer these days did you know that uh jason blake uh took a pill for his cancer yeah i heard that
so that so i know you hate this topic but is that the good cancer fuck you no but relative you know
how no he had a rare form of leukemia correct so. Correct. But it was the rare form that a pill fixes.
My brother makes this joke,
and I'm going to give him credit, Steve,
but the side effect to the cancer medication
was being unable to hit the side of a barn.
I'm going to fuck.
That was the side effect.
So Jason Blake,
who, much like David Clarkson,
had a 40-goal season,
came on board and... David Clarkson did not have a 40-goal season. I think he did. Noson, had a 40-goal season, came on board.
David Clarkson did not have a 40-goal season.
I think he did.
No, he had a 30-goal season.
Are you sure it wasn't 40?
He's only scored 30 goals twice in his career,
including one year in junior.
Why do I think he scored 40 for the Devils?
Because you're in love with David Clarkson.
I'm not in love with him.
He did not score 40 goals.
He's my doppelganger.
How would you feel if your doppelganger, Andy Serkis,
was playing for the ESL? I'd feel embarrassed if my doppelganger how would you feel if your doppelganger andy circus was playing for the i'd feel embarrassed
if my doppelganger sucked ass you're you're you're calling you're telling me golem sucks ass
why is he my golem i see what you're saying now i'm trying to be funny tell me i'm trying okay
go find out here we go here we go in uh for the do you know he played for the Port Hope Clippers in 2000-2001? Port Hope is where Wheels met his real father.
There you go.
47 games played, 18 goals scored.
I don't care about Port Hope.
Tell me about the Devils.
So Kitchener Rangers scored 33 goals in 31 games.
Who cares about that?
Hold on.
It does matter because it's the only other time he scored 30 goals.
I want to hear the Devils.
2004-2005, 33 goals for Kitchener in 31 games. And then we have to
fast forward all the way
to 2011,
2012,
where he scored 30 goals
in 80 games.
Not 40?
And that's it.
You're sure it was only 30?
That is it.
He has 102 goals
in 486 games in the NHL.
He's handsome though.
He stinks.
He's no Ted Danson,
but he's pretty good looking.
What do you think?
That is not,
it's not even close.
Liz tweeted or commented that she thinks Colleen was flirting with me.
Well, her opinion on things is really warped because she doesn't...
Oh, Liz, don't boot gate 2014.
I want to put an end to boot gate 2014.
I called it too, though.
I said she's going to swear at me, and she did.
She hates you.
She hates you. She hates you.
Well, I don't hate her.
She's actually, as I understand, she is avoiding Oshawa in protest.
Like, she won't go in the city.
Oshawa, I want to get back to Oshawa in a minute, real quick.
Quick Blue Jays stuff has happened.
I just want to do this real quick.
Huge.
Some Canadians.
We lost a Canadian, and we gained a couple.
So here's our, I got a little list of five things that have happened
since we last talked
to Blue Jays.
Michael Saunders
for J.A. Happ.
So Michael Saunders
is a Canadian.
We got him from Seattle.
From Victoria, I think, right?
Or Vancouver?
Somewhere in this great nation.
He's from BC.
For sure.
So we have him now
and they're saying
he'll play left field,
I believe,
is where he will play.
So we signed Justin Smoke
to a little contract to see if he could rebound.
But here's the exciting one. Well, there's a couple
of exciting ones. Here's the big one.
Josh Donaldson is a Blue
Jay. He is a third baseman for the A's.
They say he's the best third baseman
in baseball, right? I've heard this, yes. Two years,
two MVP caliber seasons.
But we
gave up Brett Lowry, who is often injured
and often overdosing on Red Bull.
Get the fucking grass in here,
boys. But he's Canadian, yeah.
You gotta get the grass in here. Yeah, which is
coming. But, so
that sounds like we had to give up more than,
we gave up more than. Gave up like 17 players
or something. Yeah, but they're nobody we've heard of.
It's fine, but we got, you know what they say,
who wins the trade? The guy who gets the best player
in the deal. That's right. Josh Donaldson.
Yep.
So that sounds like a great deal.
And we did sign a free agent,
Russell Martin, a Canadian catcher,
who I want to call a back catcher,
but then you'll make fun of me.
Who can hit?
And he, I mean, I'm going to guess
we'll trade away Navarro, I guess.
I think the real plus with Russell Martin
is that obviously a hitting catcher is a nice bonus,
but I think you have a catcher for the most part
because they can catch a good game.
And apparently he's one of the best.
Apparently he's one of the best in the business
in terms of being able to catch a good game.
He's a good framer.
One, and then the writing is on the wall
that we can say goodbye to Milky Cabrera.
Isn't,
what about Dickie?
Didn't he sign a two year deal or was it a three year deal? I understand.
We have another year Dickie.
We do.
Okay.
So maybe,
maybe while Tole is still Blue Jay.
So here's the thing.
That's his catcher.
So I,
I don't,
I,
this is not confirmed or anything,
but I,
as I see it,
you have to trade Navarro because,
uh,
you got your everyday guy in,
uh,
Martin and you got your backup
Tole who will still catch probably for
Dickie and you have
a guy who played pretty good last year who
can have some value maybe get a reliever or something
but Navarro is the odd man
out gotta go he always
looked a little pudgy to me
not Pudge Rodriguez pudgy but like
right or CeCe Sabathia
bigger because you hear the big controversy with him no but he does balloon Not Pudge Rodriguez Pudgy, but like... Right, or CeCe Sabathia. Bigger, because...
Did you hear the big controversy with him recently?
No, but he does balloon.
He has a beard, and that's a big deal, right?
Because the Yankees don't allow you to have facial hair.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And he said to TMZ,
don't worry, I'm going to shave it
before the beginning of the season.
I love how that's a fucking thing.
That was the TMZ story.
Well, they have a sports section now.
TMZ sports, yes.
Yeah, that's when they break the Ray Rice stuff.
Yeah, exactly.
Don't Facebook the fences of Ray Rice. It'll unfriend you. The word is out. TMZ Sports. That's when they break the Ray Rice stuff. Don't Facebook the fences of Ray Rice.
I'll unfriend you.
The word is out.
That's it. Exciting stuff for the Blue Jays.
This sounds like two years ago
we probably had the same chat. It would have been nice
to have had the interview with Mike Willner after all
this stuff. Maybe I'll get him back.
I think he would come back.
I think it was great.
At some point I can talk about who would I have back
because anyone who came once will probably come twice.
But would you have them?
Well, that's the thing.
Would you have the Minx girl back on again?
No, but I wouldn't have, like, I don't think I'd want,
not just that she wasn't honest.
She was careful what she said.
I don't think I'd have, like, Barbara Giulio, right?
But people like Hebsey, for example, like, I'd have Hebsey back.
Yeah.
Would you have, see, like like a guy like jay michaels mad dog like i got the good stuff yeah i thought it was
good i can just talk about radio like you know yeah unless he's honest guy yeah unless you want
to riff with radio with him he did tell me uh if i ever have like a state of the radio address or
something with like if i wanted i have these three mics, I can, me plus two other,
he would be like on a panel and we could talk about radio.
Cool.
I saw something in my back of my head,
maybe to do.
Got a good run going so far,
Mike.
Thanks man.
Uh,
in Rudy,
uh,
you love the movie.
I fucking love that movie.
I love it too.
And I,
uh,
recently,
uh,
I,
I,
yeah,
there is a,
yeah,
it's very emotional,
uh,
for me as well.
And there's a,
I let my,
I watched it by kids
recently and i'm here to tell you that i think this is what you said but i'm gonna the sweater
scene so there's a great scene in that one of the great scenes is when they all come in and put
their sweaters on not true never happened never happened okay so it never happened never happened
is this your i quote i have a quote here like i wrote this so long ago because I never get to it.
My quote says,
let the viewer decide what they want to believe or not.
Did you write that?
I didn't attribute it to anyone.
Is that the only thing you would say if I were to tweet that that sweater scene never happened?
I don't know.
Or is it Greg Brady?
It might be Greg Brady.
That sucks.
I didn't write down who it was.
So you wrote that saying that?
I tweeted about how the sweater scene never
happened and I think Greg Brady, I think
it was him, I have to double check, wrote back to me
let the viewer decide what
they want to believe or not.
But my point is... That's fine.
They should know that it's not true. If it's based on a true story
and one of the best scenes
never actually happened, I think people
should know that. The real live
individual, the real live guy
who played the coach,
who was his coach
in that final season,
allowed them to,
you know,
make him part of the movie,
but he was upset
because they made him
to be more of a bad guy
than he really was.
Yes, and he wasn't a bad guy.
Yeah, not at all.
Right.
But yeah, that scene never happens.
And that guy,
I believe that coach,
I believe that's the guy from Major League, the old veteran pitcher. Could be. Yeah, yeah, you're Right. But yeah, that scene never happens. And that guy, that guy, I believe, that coach, I believe that's the guy from Major League,
the old veteran pitcher.
It could be.
Yeah, yeah, you're right.
You're right.
You're right.
It is that guy.
Another fucking classic movie, Major League One.
Yeah, I just recently watched that again at the kids' table.
Taking the pieces of the woman's clothes off
at the time they win.
Yeah, yeah.
There's a couple of things in that movie
that I still quote.
There's the guy who played the time they win. There's a couple of things in that movie that I still quote. There's the guy who played the president
in 24.
He's Serrano.
Oh, really?
He hit the curveball.
I haven't seen that movie in a long time.
I should see it.
Just a bit outside.
Yeah, Bob Uecker's great in that, too.
But who is it?
Oh, yeah.
So Willie Mays Hayes makes that basket catch
or whatever.
Yeah.
And the coach, he died, actually, the coach,
but he has that great voice.
And he goes, great catch.
He goes, don't ever let me see you do that again.
Yeah.
Something like that.
And I used to throw that out all the time.
Who was it?
Was it Greg Brady that was talking about Bob Uecker?
Someone I've heard, I've listened to an interview somewhere where somebody was sitting in with
Bob Uecker.
And apparently he's just the funniest fucking guy when he's doing like a, cause he does Brewers games. Yes. And so when he's on the air, like he's normal, he's funny, but he's just the funniest fucking guy when he's doing like, cause he does Brewers games.
Yes.
And so when he's on the air,
like he's normal,
he's funny,
but he's normal.
But off the air,
he's just like,
he just like the F word everywhere.
And just like so rude.
And he points out chicks in the crowd.
Like,
that's just funny.
He's just like,
it's strange that that guy started in like a sitcom.
Like I used to watch that show.
Do you remember Mr.
Belvedere?
Yes. Yeah. I love Mr. Belvedere.
There was Mr. Belvedere.
What was the other? There was another
Butler movie.
No, Butler show. I don't know. But Mr. Belvedere
was the big one. Oh, I know what you're saying. Benson.
Benson. Yeah. Benson, which is
of course a black butler. Yes.
Benson's good too. But Mr. Belvedere.
Yeah. Love that. And then the big
urban legend came out of Mr. Belvedere. Yeah. Love that. And then the big urban legend came out of Mr.
Belvedere that the kid became Marilyn Manson.
How does that get started?
Rob Stone,
I think was his name.
I've seen two things online recently where there's been a story about Axl Rose dying and then someone else.
And it's a,
it's obviously a hoax.
They're alive and well.
I did hear,
uh,
that Gordon Lightfoot died a number of years ago.
So my dad,
listen to this.
I'll,
this,
I know we're way over, but one last quick thing.
We're going, yeah.
We'll wrap it up.
Papa Elvis.
Papa Rush Home?
Papa Elvis is an immigrant who came to Toronto in 1955 for the first time.
He's 16 years old, came from Italy, and has been in Toronto his entire life.
Very, very poor.
Came with literally nothing to his name, him and his family.
Always been super cheap.
I don't think that that's rude for me to say.
Can you say frugal?
He's cheap.
And I've gone to a million concerts.
My brother has gone to a million concerts.
Does he reuse tinfoil?
My mother enjoys concerts.
And he's never understood why we would ever go.
It's expensive.
It's a waste of money, blah, blah, blah.
Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, I got an email from my brother saying, hey, I'm taking dad out because he is going to go see Gordon Lightfoot at Massey Hall.
Very good.
By himself.
My father spent $100 to go see Gordon Lightfoot at Massey Hall. And I have to
give him a standing ovation. And apparently they gave Gordon Lightfoot a Massey Hall prize or
something. He has played Massey Hall the most amount of times out of anybody. And I can't
remember the number, but it's either 123 or 153 times uh yeah so kudos to papa elvis who went to uh
his very first concert by himself i guess that's amazing um gordon lightfoot at massey hall that
is an amazing can't pick a better venue or a better artist no actually and i i actually every
time i they were advertising that uh concert series on cbc or something and every time i saw
the ad i wondered like should like, should I go?
Because I want to see him.
I've never seen him.
He's got to be 100 years old. He's a living legend.
Yeah.
And they did report he had a stroke or something
years ago, but they reported his death.
I remember it was...
Yes, I do.
I do remember that.
Some mainstream media,
it might have been the Globe or something,
but some legitimate news service
reported that Gordon Lightfoot had died.
That's got to be surreal when you're actually alive.
It's not like a hoax that somebody just made up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But it's like in the news that you died.
Or like you're reading the globe that you died.
Yeah, and you're like, what the fuck?
Okay.
We're going to close.
This is the holiday season.
Oh, are you going to play my favorite holiday Christmas song?
No, don't get excited because I'm not doing that.
This is not Mistress for Christmas time.
I heard that on the radio the other day.
That's my favorite Christmas song.
I know it is. I should play it next time. No, that on the radio the other day. That's my favorite Christmas song. I know it is.
George Michael? No.
Wham. Stop guessing because
you're not going to get this one.
So, in Oshawa,
there's a station called The Rock.
Yes. Is that 94.9? 94.9.
Great station.
And on the weekends, there is a program
from David Marsden. Yes.
The Mars Bar Theater. Yes. And David
Marsden, who has been on. Yes. And David Marsden,
who has been on Toronto Mic'd,
he was very nice and talked to me
for the Martin Streak retrospective.
You should listen to that one.
That's right.
Yeah, I should.
That's an interesting one.
So David Marsden had a nice long chat with me
and I recorded it.
And David Marsden is going to air next weekend
his very final terrestrial radio show
on Osh was the Rock. So I'm thinking,
okay, it's Christmas. I want to call it Durham. Durham. Durham region. Okay. It's also Oshawa.
It's in Oshawa, but Durham region, I think. Okay. Okay. So basically I'm going to air
a two minute clip of David Marsden on Christmas Eve
in the 1980s
on the station he was the
program director for.
It was a Brampton
station called CFNY.
So Elvis, we're going to just be
quiet and play a two-minute clip
and then we'll say goodbye to everybody
on the other side.
Are you ready? Yes, indeed.
Got to be ready tonight, yes.
Because if you ain't ready tonight, well, you're going to miss it all.
You know what I'm saying here.
C-F-N-Y.
It's Marsden here, of course, on this Christmas Eve,
as we sort of gather together by the, uh...
Well, I got a little fire in the fireplace,
and in case you're wondering, I'm dressed up in my Santa Claus suit tonight.
And every now and then, you'll probably hear the beard fall off my face
and get into the way of the microphone.
But other than that, it's just a regular and wonderful night to be together.
And as a matter of fact, I do believe that it must be time
to reach out and try and find
Willie Crinkle somewhere in northern Ontario.
Hello?
One, two, check.
There he is.
One, two.
I know, I know.
David.
Yes.
Hello, David.
Yes.
Are we on?
Where we are.
Hello, David.
Willie.
This is Willie Crinkles reporting live
via satellite from Northern Ontario for the CFNY Santa Search. It is an honor again this year to
be on the lookout for the jolly old man as he arrives to feed all those Canadian children
full of toys on the Christmas morning. And it is a wild scene up here. Very, very inhospitable, but we have quite a crowd this year.
Among the people around me, I can see there's veteran character actor Dabney Coleman.
Linda Evans from Dynasty is here.
We've got the CityPulse News team, Fred Travolina, and of course, Mark Griffin,
former Miss America Vanessa Williams, and Dick Clark's over there. Whoa!
Actress Rita Moreno.
It is quite a wide spectrum of the entertainment and news businesses this year, David.
I think.
And we hope that we'll be seeing Santa within the next half hour.
He is due to arrive according to the sophisticated satellite equipment
we have employed on the Santa search this year.
Expected arrival time should be close to 11 o'clock your time.
And that would be, I believe, well, I don't know this time.
It is just so far to the north, David.
I am just without my senses or my watch.
I'll bet.
I'll be at home this year again.
Well, that's it for now, David.
We'll check in a little later on.
This is Willie Crinkles reporting live via satellite from Northern Ontario
and the CFNY Santa Search.
Now back to you, David.
All right, Willie.
We'll check in with you very, very shortly
and find out how you're making out there in Northern Ontario.
It is CFNY and a Marsden Christmas Eve.
It is CFNY and a Marsden Christmas Eve.
Merry Christmas, everyone.
That's it.
Happy Sunday.
You still there?
Happy Sunday.
Any final words?
Happy Sunday.
Happy Sunday.
Can't wait to do this again, Mike.
Looking forward to episode 100, which is next.
I'm excited to see what you've got up your sleeve. And in your pants.
I can tell you that episode 100 was going to be a clip show.
The best of.
This is how announcers talk.
Yeah, what's with the character?
I don't know.
Hey, everybody.
Traffic sucks.
The weather's great.
Hey.
Here's a song for you to get you to your office the
yeah
it's funny when DJs
talk like that
the episode 100
was supposed to be
a clip show
best of
and then
I realized logistically
it was too difficult
to slam it in
I need time to put it together
I need real time
and I have Humble and Fred
coming in Wednesday
to do
so Humble and Fred
will be episode 100
together
I thought it probably works.
Yeah, that makes sense.
And then I have Siobhan Morris, who is a.
Siobhan from the Howard Stern Show?
This is 1010, News Talk 1010 Siobhan Morris.
Different character.
Okay.
And Siobhan Morris will be in on like Friday.
So it's like we got a 101 taken care of.
And then I'm going to try to get the clip show
for a 102.
Nice.
Not for CFNY
just coincidence.
I like it.
Looking forward to it.
And that
brings us to the end
of our 99th show.
You can follow me
on Twitter
at Toronto Mike
and Elvis
at Oshawa Elvis.
See you all next week.