Toronto Mike'd: The Official Toronto Mike Podcast - Vasectomy Jams: Toronto Mike'd #773
Episode Date: December 18, 2020This 40th Pandemic Friday, Mike kicks out vasectomy jams with Cam Gordon and Stu Stone....
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Peter, it's the male equivalent of a woman getting her tubes tied,
except it's actually a lot quicker and safer.
Let these guys explain.
A vasectomy's a medical procedure.
One that makes you half a man.
You're half a man.
Remember when you twisted up your garden hose?
Well, essentially that is the plan.
That is the plan.
It's time now for Pandemic Fridays,
starring Toronto Mike, Stu Stone, and Cam Gordon.
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Toronto.
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I'm Mike.
From TorontoMike.com
and joining me for this
40th Pandemic Friday
episode of Toronto Mike
are Stu Stone
Yes.
and Cam
Gordon.
Hey Mike, how are your testicles?
Let's just get right into it.
How are they hanging?
Okay, so yes. This is the vasectomy episode. Hey, Mike, how are your testicles? Let's just get right into it. How are they hanging?
Okay, so yes, this is the vasectomy episode.
We're going to kick out vasectomy jams.
The one when he had a vasectomy.
The jams.
Is that a friend's title?
The one where he had a vasectomy, right?
I think that is an episode, right?
Joey?
No, I don't know.
So I don't know, my friends, but I do know... Your voice is sounding a little bit higher today.
A couple of octaves up.
Like Gary Farrell on the mic here.
I had a vasectomy this morning, and really quickly...
You're already back to work.
Actually, the doctor said, don't do anything for two days.
And I even said something like, oh, can I do computer work?
And then he said, well, don't do that tonight,
but maybe later tomorrow if you're feeling better,
you could do some computer work.
So I'm breaking all the rules here, guys.
What's that famous basketball play where the guy came injured off the bench?
We all know who it was.
Clay Thompson?
No.
Oh, because I'm thinking you're talking Kirk Gibson,
but that's not a basketball player.
That works too.
That works too.
I'm just saying my point is you're coming in, you're hurt,
you're back in the game.
The flu game.
You're finishing the damn match.
You know what I mean?
Kudos to you.
You're a tough man.
You went to the trainer.
They gave you some stitches.
You're back out on the ice to finish the damn game.
And, Mike, I'm hearing rumors there There was actually Twitter user, DJ Dream Doctor,
who did the honors today.
Is that accurate?
Yeah, it was him and Dr. Pepper.
They tag teamed it.
But like, let me just say a few facts for anyone out there
who has been like contemplating getting a vasectomy
or been delaying this maybe because of COVID and stuff.
I'm just going to let you all know.
And I know a lot of FOTMs reached out and said hey i got it it's nothing shout out to bingo bob shout out to uh i know that uh al grego who did not pick you guys for
his best of episode which is weird because you even titled this like toronto mike episode what
didn't it have an episode number this is not like a a sub. Yeah, yeah, you know. Well, it's not a true kick out the jams, remember.
We learned that last week.
It's not a true one, but it is one of my favorites.
Shout out also to Mike Rogotsky, who had the procedure.
But I'm just here to let everybody know, minimal pain.
Yeah, it hurts a bit while he's doing his thing down there.
It's not bad.
There's a little blood.
You know, you got to take care of it for about a week here.
Ball blood?
There's blood, but not a lot.
I'm not sure that's an honest question.
Is it ball blood or is it?
Yeah, so it's the scrotum.
We call it.
Scrotum blood.
I use doctor words.
And Stu, just on a production note, Cam is now a lot louder than you.
I just want you to know.
Okay.
And I know we're on the fly.
Okay. How about now? Ball blood. I just want you to know. Okay. And I know we're on the fly. Okay.
How about now?
Ball blood.
Scrotum blood.
Yes.
Can you hear me?
I have, yes.
I have scrotum blood.
So the procedure is not that bad.
Is that a different colored blood or is it regular?
It's blue, yeah.
Blue.
It depends what's going on.
He's just frustrated.
Yeah.
There's too many jokes if you tell me it's blue blood,
but it is red blood.
And, you know, it was not that big a deal.
Like, I'm feeling okay.
I have ice on it right now.
Okay.
I would show you.
This is really interesting and ironic.
For a lot of reasons, I speak on behalf of Cam and myself,
that it's about time that you experience what
it's like to do a toronto mic episode with your balls freezing very good when and both did you
write that joke was it like a couple of days ago it just came right out but yes unlike you you know
that's not what you're gonna be able to say okay if any fotms are delaying it because
they're afraid it might hurt or something silly like that i'm here to tell you it's honestly
it's a few pinches there's a little tugging uh there's a part of it where you feel like maybe
you took like you're playing softball and you took one in the gonads you know what i mean like
you know a hot borders type deal right but you think it's a little pinch in a tug a little pinch
you went for a pinching tug it's a bit of pinching a bit of tug's a little pinch and a tug? A little pinch. You went for a pinch and tug?
It's a bit of pinching, a bit of
tugging, a little bruising, but you know what?
When it's all said and done, it's a mild
ache. I'm not even on
Advil. They make
you buy, so it's all covered by OHIP,
but they make you buy this $50
kit, which you got to pay cash.
I paid on my credit card, whatever. You have to pay
money. In this kit, there's some gauze for you there's a few like this all guys
there's some um advil but you know the total value of the kit is probably like 8.99 but you
pay 50 bucks that's where they get you sounds like something you buy at a truck stop like sort of you
know for long-haul truckers.
Like sleep aids.
Like sleep easy.
No does.
Truckers need gauze?
You never know, I guess.
Big rigs.
Some oozing there.
So if you guys have any questions throughout, and again, leave a thumpka.
I have some questions.
So now you're just shooting blanks?
I don't know what I'm shooting
because I'm supposed to go a week
before I do anything like that.
Hypothetically speaking, now your gun
shoots blanks.
All juice, no swimmers.
Starter pistol.
It's 100% juice, but no swimmers
in there. But this is the thing, right?
In 12 weeks, because there% juice but no swimmers in there but this is the thing right in 12 weeks
because there's a storage of swimmers
that I have like I could be swimming
I could have swimmers for the next few weeks
that were in storage before the snip
oh because you didn't empty out properly
well I did my best but you know
there's a big reserve there
like before you go in do they make you empty
no no no they just make you shave
yourself so you gotta be I mean we've been asking you to do that for they make you empty? No, no, no. They just make you shave yourself.
Finally.
I mean, we've been asking you to do that for weeks.
It's like a juggle sometimes.
It makes me wonder how I keep them going under.
So I know this is a little TMI,
but I think it's respectful to the process.
Okay, so I'm fully shaved. That's the process.
Right.
I'm fully shaved.
I have to wait 12 weeks.
Pictures or it didn't happen.
I'll show you but again on his
only fans account in 12 weeks basically i go to my local uh blood place uh whatever and your local
byway yeah to get my to deliver my sample so in 12 weeks i will produce a sample of my semen
yeah into a thing a little jar thing.
Now, is that like the type of thing
where you use your imagination,
or do they provide you with something to look at?
Like, how does that work?
Is this like a close-your-eyes job,
or is it like that?
You're on your own for that.
Just basically, I need to fill up this jar,
deliver it in 12 weeks.
I can't fill it up for 12 weeks
because we've got to let the reserve
empty. And then they test it. And if it comes back that there's no swimmers, then this is the way it
works. You're good to go, but they don't ever say 100% because actually there's a one in 3,000
chance that even if I have no swimmers in the test in 12 weeks, I could produce a child. So I have a
one in 3,000. And a little fun fact, Cam actually is, he beat those odds.
He was the one in 3,000 that got through.
His father, like his father before him.
So it's a Scottish thing.
So Mike, that thing you just said, the one in 3,000,
is that like all time or is that just sort of in the immediate?
No, all time. But the doctor, when he was telling me that, he was saying like,
what are you using right now? And I said, oh, my wife's on the birth control pill. And he said,
the odds of failure for the birth control pill are much higher than one in 3000. So our current
method has a much higher failure rate than the vasectomy. Mike, I have a question.
Yes, Stuart, yes.
So you said that's a one in 3,000.
So let's just say hypothetically,
you were to use a term from 70s game shows,
if you were to make whoopee 3,000 times,
one time you'd actually get the shot through?
I don't think that's how that math works.
I think one in 3,000 individuals will be able to...
You have to have Whoopi with 3,000 partners?
I think 3,000 of his patients have to...
Yeah.
What kind of doctor is this?
His name is Dr. Nick Riviera.
He's very highly regarded.
But actually, no, it was an Oakville guy.
It was on Ford Drive in Oakville.
A nice clinic and i was
and he was did you stop for some barbecue strip mall but it's all done i just have to recover now
anyway i uh if anyone has questions and leave a funk i know she's uh a guest of ours on the
zoom call here if she has a question now is the time leave a funk i have a question, now is the time, Lieve Fumke. I have a question, Mike.
What do they do with your shaft and head
while the boys are getting snipped away?
What happens to that?
Does someone come and sort of handle it and hold it back?
Is it like a tuck it under the underwear elastic kind of gimmick?
No.
Sort of like a Red hot chili peppers thing you know
the doctor first of all i never i didn't watch like i looked at the ceiling the whole time
well the doctor had the spotlight on it and everything but i think he just lays it to the
side like if you you know so the you have enough of a weight there to lay something to the side i
guess that would work i mean that's what i'm getting out of this. There's a big splat.
I just wrap it around my waist, Stu.
That's what I was thinking.
But for real,
don't they make you wrap it in something,
like some cold compress or something?
No, no, no, no.
You could make a Gorgon's knot out of it.
Doc knows what he's doing.
He pushes the guy to the side so that he can get at the scrotum knows what he's doing. He pushes the guy to the side
so that he can get at the scrotum
because he's doing all that
where the scrotum meets the shaft.
That's where the action is.
You know what?
That is a general rule, by the way.
The scrotum right near the shaft,
that is where the action is.
Again, so far I looked at the gauze
because I have to change the gauze periodically.
There's blood, but minimal blood.
The pain is like a dull ache right now.
It's like I got kicked in the balls
earlier today. It's dull ache
and I'm not going to complain about it even for a second.
I just look forward to
in 12 weeks time. It's afterwards.
The benefit is that you can just
make whoopee whenever you want to.
I've already got that.
The benefit is that the woman I love
can stop taking the birth control pill.
Like that's it.
For her.
No, it's 100% for her
because she's 39 years old
and we have decided as a mature couple
that we've decided we're 100% done.
Enough's enough.
We're done.
Like I've had four kids.
Like she might have a third,
but that would be my fifth.
Like I can't do five.
So we're done.
So instead of
her having to take this pill right now you're missing a player so this is all yeah it's absolutely
because it's not like oh you know we're gonna stop having to buy condoms no it just means she can go
off the pill if this test comes back in 12 weeks and like there's no swimmers she goes off the pill
and i'm now the birth control guy because I'm not producing swimmers.
So like that, that shows like a lot of love.
Like obviously you just, you know,
cut your balls off so that she didn't have to take a pill.
No, a hundred percent.
The only reason I did it and I don't want to make myself sound better.
Like it's like, it's the least I could do is what I would say.
No, I think that's very sweet.
Thank you.
I have a question about Levi Famke, if I may ask.
Does one, is he going to cut off his nuts for you?
Or is this just a mic thing?
Leave Lieve Femke out of this.
The poor girl.
I'm going to do this for MF someday.
I'm hoping all this positive talk about how easy it was would convince him.
You just want to like see him go through the process.
You know what though?
You know what he won't like,
Levi,
which is what I don't like,
which is I've been told not to bike for seven days.
Oh,
wow.
Yeah.
That would be.
You're biking right now.
Yeah.
I biked a lot yesterday.
I bike,
I'm out there biking,
but not for seven days because it needs to.
You bike in like minus 10?
Oh yeah.
I layer up in fact
i saw vp of sales yesterday i biked to his house yesterday to deliver some deliver some cashola to
the man and uh i saw i saw vp of sales uh i biked to his place isn't your face frozen i have a
balaclava and i wear layers and i have boots instead of shoes so what now a balaclava yeah
you don't cam explain to him what a balaclava is.
I've heard of baklava.
That's a delicious tea.
It's like the toque
that covers your face.
So like a robber's mask.
Yeah, it goes under my helmet.
That's called a balaclava?
It's also the second
Limlifter album.
I've never heard that term.
Do you remember that?
There's a guy with a balaclava.
Okay, before I forget,
and I need to get serious in a moment here
because at some point I have to segue to a serious topic,
but not that vasectomies aren't serious,
but we can have fun with it.
But did anyone on this Zoom call,
did any of you hear my conversation
with Mike Treblecock from the Killjoys?
I have it downloaded.
I will be listening to it i listened okay thank you because uh if you like
you know you know we like our 90s can con old rock here uh that's a deep dive into killjoys
i thought it was really good go ahead yeah that's that's all i have to say you know we've said this
before but you know cam and i at our high school there was a Killjoys concert at our high school.
Wow.
That was a big deal at our school.
Sure.
We wanted to go to the Killjoys show.
Yeah, I feel like that was the only real concert.
Like, Moxie Fruvis would come once a year to play an annual show
because they were very indebted to the music teacher there, Mr. Leonard,
who was even thanked in a lot of the moxie proof is out but yeah
killjoy's played when they put out their second album uh the one with raven drool and uh soaked
on it whatever that one was called yeah the story is the first one and uh the second one i shouldn't
i just talked i think it's called give me five give me five yeah yeah mike's wearing the hat on
the cover yeah that was a big like It really was eye-opening.
It was eye-opening once again.
I mean, this seems to be a pattern, but like, you know,
Christmas keeps getting ruined for us every time you have a CanCon 90s rock legend on
because we learn behind the scoop, behind the scenes, the ugly truth of what it really is.
I mean, it's just he sounds like he has some fond memories of it of course but
listen it had to be a good time and and and the good news is it sounded like he was down to do
our uh can conchella event uh it sounds like he's down to be the killjoys for us
when we throw that event so that that to me that's that's a big victory no doubt no doubt and you're
absolutely right sometimes i feel like we know too much like we were better when we were young and dumb and ignorant because uh
hearing how like how our rock heroes were compensated in this country and all the record
company bullshit like he says you know you don't like for example when mike travelcock talks about
how when you get a record deal with warner big fucking company warner canada i was signed to
warner brothers same shit.
Yeah, he's like, it's really a loan.
They give you money, but then they, okay, $30,000 for the video, $100,000 for marketing.
And next thing you know, you got nothing.
Yes.
And then you only get 11% of the profits.
So it's like an 89-11 split.
And it's not like he's a solo artist.
And you have to split that 11 between
the five members of the band and the manager the accountant and the wives and the kids need to go
to school and this one wants to go to private school and that one needs swimming lessons
right right so it's it's all uh it's all yeah so there that happened but here let me let me get
very serious for a moment if you guys don't mind before we kick out these vasectomy jams
get very serious for a moment, if you guys don't mind, before we kick out these vasectomy jams.
Stu, we've been talking
for months about faking a murderer
and most FOTMs
have seen it. There's some lingering
FOTMs who still need to make that happen
and I hope they do it ASAP.
But when you do watch it again, or
if you've already watched it like most of you.
I wasn't sure where you were going with this.
Yeah, well, that's why I said we're getting
serious here because there's a police officer in the...
I will say this, Stu, and then you're going to speak to this
because you directed the movie, you know everything here,
but I found Faking a Murderer interesting
in that I could never tell who was in on it.
Who's the actor and who's the real-life person
who's into this mockumentary
and don't know they're in a mockumentary?
I could never tell if this police officer... he was one of the people that didn't know that what was going on and the
you know every police station shut us down we called and contacted all every police station
asking for a ride-along we said we're shooting a movie we want to do a ride-along and like
everybody was saying like nope no thank you pass we're not doing that. And Peel Region was like, hey, well, we got this guy that would be great.
He would take you on a ride-along.
And it was this officer.
Constable Bancroft Wright.
Yeah, Constable Wright.
He's like 6'7".
He has a silky smooth voice, which I was able to highlight in the film.
And he was supposed to be with us for 20 minutes, and we drove around for hours with the guy.
He was just really, really, really cool.
And he probably thought we were fucking idiots.
He just still kind of went along.
He just humored himself and humored us, I guess.
We never told him to say this or say that.
So he just was reacting normal like the way he would.
We showed him the video and he was like, you guys have nothing.
Which is fine because we had nothing.
What I want to know, and again, sadly, like tragically, Constable Wright passed away.
He passed away, which is shocking.
This is a healthy guy.
I guess, I don't know.
The only thing that I've been able to find out
was that there was some sort of sudden health complications of some kind.
But I just know from everybody that we spoke to
and certainly our experience with him,
he was just an incredible guy.
You could not not see him. I mean,
not just because he was six foot seven and like this giant man with a giant
booming voice, but just his personality was even bigger than he was. You know,
it's like, he was not like a shy, quiet guy. He was,
he loved to talk about sports with us.
I know that he was a regular caller on Bob McCowan.
He's a friend of Toronto Mike, the Bob McCowan show for years.
He would call in with his voice and I didn't,
we discovered that after the fact,
but I totally remember him doing like being a caller. And of course,
you know,
he's obviously a police officer in the Peel region for 18 years and he was
promoted to the media spokesperson. That's how we ended up with him.
But you know, anytime anything bad was going on in the community, for 18 years and he was promoted to the media spokesperson. That's how we ended up with him.
But, you know, anytime anything bad was going on in the community, he was the one that had to face the media or go on CP24
or make unfortunate announcements or say some good news
about a toy driver or whatever was going on.
But he's definitely going to be missed.
Obviously, we hung with him for one crazy night,
but it's one that I'll remember forever.
for one crazy night,
but it's one that I'll remember forever.
Stu, do you know if Constable Wright ever saw his performance in Faking a Murderer?
You know, I don't know.
That's the crazy part.
I haven't spoken to him, obviously,
so I'll never know whether he ended up seeing it.
That's kind of sad,
but if people want to see the kind of guy he was,
you can watch the genuine him in our movie.
This is not like a cheap plug, but you can watch the movie and see that this guy – and I'm telling you right now, he was not in on anything.
This guy gave us his time and treated us like the shitheads that we are.
What a loss. I'm sorry to hear this.
Yeah, it's very sad.
And he's got family, obviously,
and friends and colleagues.
18 years, you're a cop for 18 years.
You obviously have some sort of reputation
at that point, right?
And a lot of friends in the media
because on my Twitter feed,
it was just popcorn.
People are like,
this guy was the guy,
he was so patient with us
and we'd go to him
and we needed this information.
And then I found out via Twitter that he was so patient with us and we'd go to him and we needed this information. And then, then I found out via Twitter that,
uh,
he was the same guy.
Cause I didn't realize that that,
that officer that we were mourning was the same guy who was in faking a
murderer.
Mind blow right there.
Wow.
Yeah,
that is a shame that that's the way it had to be a mind blow,
but he will be missed.
And a pandemic Fridays, uh, shouts him out in his honor.
The show will go on here, but I love him.
I only knew him for that brief amount of time.
And like I said, I'll remember it for the rest of my life.
So he was kind of like the Cam Woolley of sorts of Peel Region,
I guess, like the face.
Because, yeah, like when I saw the photo, I was sort of shocked. He wasn't an actor,
but that's like, I sort of,
once I sort of like read some of the tweets and stuff, I'm like, Oh, okay.
Yeah. I've seen this guy. He's just, you know,
what does people just see commenting on like car crashes or whatever,
like is happening in that region just as someone who's on Twitter all day.
But yeah yeah it sucks
girl it's that special time of year the festival of lights but ain't no light shine brighter
than the one in your eyes got a week and a day of love for you, this Hanukkah girl.
This is a special request for you, Stu Stone.
This is Boys to Menorah.
How much I care.
And this is the...
Last night of Hanukkah tonight.
So tell us, please, tell us, ignorant Gentiles,
is there anything significant on that final night?
Like, is this a big one?
It is. It's a huge night. We get to significant on that final night? Like, is this a big one? It is.
It's a huge night. We get to
go on Zoom with our friends.
I thought that was this.
Can we technically still break your balls? Do you still
have balls to break? Oh yeah, for the record, because
there's been some misunderstanding. I still have my
testicles. I just want to say that on the record.
I have my testicles. Well, that's breaking news
because we never knew you had those.
So that's new. He was not castrated. No. Clear. Well, that's breaking news because we never knew you had those. So that's new.
He was not castrated.
No.
Clear.
Right, right.
As far as I know, Dr. Rivera.
Well, I can say Cam, who grew up in a very Jewish neighborhood,
maybe Cam can tell you what is so important about Hanukkah.
Okay, talk to me, Cam.
Day eight.
Well, you know, Hanukkah is the festival of lights.
True.
You know, it represents, you know, that epic journey through the festival of lights. True. It represents that epic journey
through the desert.
Nope.
The menorah represents...
I'll just say there was some oil.
There was a very minimal amount of oil.
They had to preserve it over seven days.
That's true.
That is true.
Some of the treats...
My favorite treat is, of course, the latke.
Yeah, the potato pancake.
Delicious, very savory.
I'm actually going to make some on the –
honest to God, this is true.
I'm going to make some on the weekend.
MF is – I don't think has ever had one.
It's my daughter's birthday on Saturday.
Oh, so you're going to have birthday latkes.
Yeah.
Wow.
Why not?
Yeah.
A lot of kids would get sort of eight days of gifts i feel like that's maybe gone away or it does when you're sort of older does that still
happen like did your nephews still get eight days of gifts i think like they probably just do it all
like on the on like the one day and then they're getting too old for it anyway i mean i just got
them like little gift cards for their Xbox. Sure.
It's not, it's not the same anymore.
If you're going to do it on one day,
would you do it the first night or the eighth night?
Well, I mean, due to, you know, a pandemic, you can barely do any night,
but in the old days, uh, back in 2019 and before that, uh, you know,
you would get together with the family, I guess,
on the opening night would be the night to do it. some more religious you know i'm jewish there's people who are really jewish that probably
do it every night in the prayers and my mom is going to come home here at some point and she's
going to light the candles and sing a song oh maybe we'll get that to happen live on the on
the show oh amazing like have a nagila or what he's going to sing a have a nagila type of type
of song yeah some klezmer okay that'll be exciting
it's a prayer to keep all of us we'll have to pause the vasectomy jams to have that wonderful
moment there that sounds amazing for your a prayer for your balls okay we got first first jams your
balls we got to get to these jams we got to get to these jams but uh one bugs bunny can we talk
about him for five seconds?
Yeah.
Well, here, I'll play a clip that'll introduce it.
Did I pull it in?
Hold on.
I pulled it in.
Oh.
Oh, you can pull it out now.
Stand by.
Here we go.
Listen for 10 seconds here.
You're the best Toronto, Mike.
My favorite of all the interviews, Doc.
This is the one.
I'm all warmed up now.
I'm an open book. Stu, did you listen to the B. I'm all warmed up now. I'm an open book.
Stu, did you listen to the Bugs Bunny? Yeah, I did.
Very impressive, by the way.
He's just
like...
He's so good.
His impression of
Eugene Levy
is like...
This guy should be doing like Andre Phillip gang,
y'all type of show.
You know,
he should open up the next stadium and sing with Robin thick.
Wow.
That was a good cut.
No,
I,
but I totally get it.
Yeah.
That's the sky.
Yeah.
But I got to tell you,
uh,
he's very impressive.
Um,
you know,
listen,
there's these voice.
I do consider myself a voice actor,
but there are guys like him
who have really dominated the craft
and guys like him who,
it's like you're talking to him
and he just starts breaking into voices.
You know, it's like, I don't,
that's, I'm not there.
Maybe at some point I was there,
but he's really there, right?
He's like on top of his game.
He's just, is he doing Bugs Bunny
with LeBron James in Space Jam?
Yes.
You know what's funny?
I was so excited to talk about Byway and stuff that I actually completely forgot to dive
deep into the fact that he's in Space Jam with LeBron James.
Yeah, and he for sure met LeBron James and like worked with him.
You know, it's like this guy is living the life.
And, you know, that's the top of the voiceover mountain.
You know, he did say that, you know, he would love to do his own original characters, which I'm sure he will do.
But the fact that he can do these impressions, there's like a skill there because he really does sound like Bugs Bunny.
Obviously, he's the fucking voice of Bugs Bunny now.
But that Eugene Levy is just like, it's crazy.
It sounds just like him.
But Stu, I know, I know, Cam, you haven't got to this episode yet, right?
Which you should because your name dropped in this thing.
But I will, what struck me, Stu, is that,
and look at how things have turned around.
Now I'm talking to you about the Toronto Mic'd episodes
instead of Cam.
I feel like that's-
Yeah, easy, easy.
I'll be back.
He'll be back.
But like you're talking to the guy
because he's Bugs Bunny
and he's working with LeBron James
and he's in California and doing all these voices.
He's Stimpy.
He's doing a whole bunch of stuff.
But then the core of that episode and what made it rock to me is and he's in California and doing all these voices. He's Stimpy. He's doing a whole bunch of stuff.
But then the core of that episode and what made it rock to me is that he's one of us, man.
He's us.
Yeah, that's the thing I felt like right off the bat.
He was kind of doing that thing that like when I was living in L.A.
and I was speaking to Canadian press about something,
he was doing that like the first thing I do is go to Swiss Chalet, Festive Specialeroom baby yeah let's go to harvey's hooker harvey's yeah man like just name dropping like
whatever you can just to let them know that you and he dropped all the right things you know he
checked every proper box his story checks out he is you know he he's he's the real deal and he's a
legend man he's he's he's bugs bunny but beyond that he's super super talented and he's a legend, man. He's Bugs Bunny, but beyond that, he's super, super talented.
And he's working with Kish.
They do voices both of them.
In Africa?
No, Japan.
Oh.
But they're both in like a TMNT.
It's not, I thought it might be a reboot
of coming out of their shells, but it's not.
But they're doing voices and they've agreed,
both of them have agreed to do another Toronto Mic'd episode
in early 2021 where I have Kish and uh bugs bunny i call him bugs his name's eric bowser but we i have them
on at the same time king bowser yeah that's right anyway amazing episode people should listen to it
uh i do want to address one thing with cam real quick here before we kick out our first game
yes i do want to thank you by the way because know, the way that you, the pedestal that you put me on is so, it's so special.
And to hear the way that you speak about me to these other guests with such reverence, Mike, it's like, you know, it's rare that you find somebody that you connect with on this level that truly gets you as a human being
as an artist as a philanthropistic person but no for real all bullshit aside you know you telling
the guy who does the voice of bugs bunny that you know ralphie from the magic school that's crazy
he's probably like oh that's great but like no you's just very sweet. It's very sweet.
You're the man.
I'm the mensch on a bench.
I appreciate that.
I appreciate that.
Now,
what I thought was a great Stu Stone moment
in that episode
was the fact that
he's got that side hustle
called Retro Kid.
Yeah.
And he's got the,
he's going to make me
a byway shirt
like he's doing
these hilarious
House of Freidenstein prints.
And I'm totally serious. We're going to get
some Sluggers shirts produced.
That would be sick. You and him are going to
collaborate.
That would be really cool. It'll be like the uniform of
FOTMs when we have our next TMLX.
Maybe we can get him to make Pandemic Friday shirts.
Oh my god. See, now that we have
this powerful FOTM
out there in
California.
The possibilities are endless. Cam, I don't need you to speak to powerful FOTM out there in California. In the schmata business.
The possibilities are endless.
Cam, I don't need you to speak to this with your professional hat, but just
as a member of the
great FOTM, I guess
I'm really speaking to listeners
that at some point in early 2021,
we're going to have to find a new
live
streaming strategy for this program.
Right, yes.
The deprecation of Periscope.
Yeah, it's coming March 2021.
Wait, what's happening? Going away?
Yeah.
No, deprecation is a big word.
Let's use dumb words for people.
They're going to basically stop the service, right?
Yeah, I mean, it's basically be fully integrated. I mean, I think a lot of people have found it confusing. You know, there's Twitter live and anyone can just go live on Twitter. But then there's still Periscope as a separate app, which we obviously we use on pandemic, pandemic, pandemic.
So Twitter's getting a vasectomy and just get cutting.
Right. But of course.
In essence, you know, we're going to call Dr. Rivera in March.
But yeah, I mean, this, this is really just, I mean,
this is kind of the end game of, you know,
Twitter when we first acquired Periscope.
That was,
that was really like weeks before I started at Twitter.
Like,
it seems like it was a decade ago,
but that was,
that was a faithful South by Southwest in 2015.
So,
yeah,
I mean,
I think a lot of people sort of saw this coming and now just,
I mean,
we would,
there's a whole blog post about this.
If any listeners want more, you can just tweet at me but in a nutshell uh in a nutshell we're not really
put things in a nutshell anymore can you this this episode's gonna be full of great lines like that
uh in a nutshell uh toronto mic'd episodes which have been you know live streamed on periscope for
years now are gonna have to find a new home and. And I'll be very honest with you all. My struggle is
I play songs that are unlicensed. So in this episode, you might hear something from the
Beatles, for example, on this episode. If I'm live on YouTube or Facebook, I often get flagged
and you get warnings and then you can get booted off
and breaking the rules.
For whatever reason,
Periscope never gave a damn.
Okay?
So I always considered it
like a little slice
of the dark web
that the lawyers forgot about
and let me go play my music
without permission.
So that's the wild card here.
It's not like I can just say,
okay, from now on
we live stream on YouTube.
What about Instagram live?
Well, I mean, I have to find
something that lets me go multi-camera.
I would say Twitter live, but I can't go multi-camera
with my current setup and go live.
I remember that was kind of
your first piece of feedback for me.
The fact that that's your struggle with
Twitter live and
Twitter studio product. Right. like remember i'm not just on a smartphone pressing a button and
going live like i've got multiple cameras i've got audio different audio source because i want
it to sound as good as this so basically i might have to i'll try things like i might try twitch
i might try some different video streaming services until we find one that works
there's a few different options.
I guess you have three months.
You guys can probably take this offline.
Yeah, I think so.
By the way, did you catch our other Twitter news this week?
I just tweeted about it a couple hours ago.
Okay, remind me.
I might have missed it.
This is the details on what the return
of our verification process will look like.
I know Stu Stone is verified, so that
makes me happy. Stu Stone is verified. Many of
your FOTMs are verified,
past guests.
So yeah,
some people may recall
we put this officially on pause
I think it was over three years ago
now, but we will be bringing
back our program
and our verification portal.
So as of late January, I believe the 21st is the date
we were scheduled to come back.
If anyone wants to apply to be verified,
you can do it right in the app now.
Wow, that's exciting.
I think Levi Fumka is going to do that right away.
Yeah, obviously it does not apply to Stu Stone because he's already got that blue tick.
I do.
This is easily the number one question I've fielded over the years.
Say an account gets repeated, repeated, repeated warnings for spreading false information.
At some point, does that account get deleted or banned?
Are you talking to the president?
If there's repeated terms of service
violations.
Is getting your tweets flagged, is that
a terms of service breach?
You know,
maybe you can check in with a...
I think I see where this might
be heading. Maybe I'll just ask you again January
21st.
Okay.
All right. We'll move on from that. So thank you for that
update. So that's the Periscope update.
That was so fucking telegraphed.
Thank you. I know. So
I look forward to more news from me
as to where you can find us live streaming
in 2021, but we are going to migrate
off of Periscope because we have to.
So let me thank a few sponsors and we're going to
kick out this first jam. Vasectomy Jams.
I can't wait to get to them.
Sammy Cohn, drummer for The Watchmen.
Yes.
If you go to drummingupresults.com,
you can find out how you can make a trade with Sammy.
A real estate inquiry in exchange for a free drum lesson.
Best deal in Canada.
Amazing.
Drummingupresults.com.
Have you done it yet, Stu?
I have not drummed up any results yet,
but I will say that I've recommended it. Oh, wow. Oh, yeah. You're related to a real estate
agent, aren't you? I'm related, but my sister doesn't give drum lessons. So Sammy sounds like
a pretty good drummer. Even though he doesn't like yacht rock, I'll forgive him. He's more of a dock
rock guy. I saw that. He won't be guesting on our yacht rock too,
but there will be a yacht rock too.
Cause this pandemic,
it's going to be a while before we're all vaccinated.
So a shout out to Ridley funeral home.
Do you guys enjoy your toques you got from Ridley funeral home?
Very,
very cozy.
I love it.
What about you,
Steven?
They're really,
it's super comfy.
And you know,
if there's one thing that Ridley Funeral Homes is known for,
it's making people feel comfortable.
Right.
And it was very comforting during, you know, cold times.
Great point.
Great point.
So they're at 3080 Lakeshore.
That's at 14th Street.
Shout out to Brad Jones and the great team at Ridley Funeral Home.
Go to RidleyFuneralHome.com to find out more.
If you guys were in my backyard right now you'd be cold but
you would have a a fresh craft beer i feel like we're missing that element with these zoom ones
but of course i was just at great lakes i recorded there on the weekend which was also cold but i got
a fresh supply so uh i've got the cold beer here ready when you guys get here uh hopefully we can
get you back in the backyard sooner rather than later.
Love it.
I actually picked up some Great Lakes beer on the weekend.
It's my daughter's birthday.
She's 12.
Are you going to give her her first beer?
No, me and my dad and perhaps MF,
we're going to be down in one of our local parks.
We're going to do a family birthday distance in the park.
Nice.
I picked up some glb for the adults
to be clear now on that note though i'm literally weeks away from being able to have a legal
a legal great lakes beer with my firstborn as opposed to all the illegal ones you've had with
him over the years or never never as opposed to opposed to driving to Gatineau or something.
Damn, your daughter's 12, did you say?
Yeah.
Holy smokes.
I know.
Wow.
She's like a real person now.
Yeah, she's very, very mature.
That's preteen, bud.
That's preteen.
Oh, yeah. Get ready.
Buckle up.
Oh, we're already there.
We're already there.
Oh, you're already there.
I was going to say,
you might get lucky like I did.
Michelle's an angel,
but I think Morgan will give you the trouble. We'll see. see we'll see and there won't be a fifth so i don't
have to worry about that so uh thank you sticker you.com not be your kid but there could be a fifth
you know if it's if there's a fifth that bathtub keeps uh it's one in three thousand i'll just i'll
just believe it was the one in three thousand like me myself and irene he just believed they
were his you remember that's the triplets? Of course. Anybody? Okay. Just making sure. So, okay. Thank you,
stickeru.com. That's where I get my Toronto Mike stickers. That's where we should get some
Pandemic Friday stickers, actually. I think that's a very good idea. And Barb Paluskiewicz
at CDN Technologies. And she's also got her own wonderful podcast called No Tech Talk,
technologies and she's also got her own wonderful podcast called no tech talk but no is spelled k-n-o-w no clever yep no it's almost too clever right i find it too clever because you're like
of course she's gonna do something clever because she's the best barb paluskiewicz can be reached
anytime if you email barb at cdn technologies.com whoa no more phone number? Just email now? Well, I don't know.
You can call her too, of course.
905-542-9759.
But Cambrio wants to give her a shout.
Shout out to Cambrio, who
has been filling in for Matt Layden this week,
I noticed, on Twitter. So, shout out to
Cambrio. Okay, guys. We got
jams to kick out. Let's get to this, okay?
Enough talk about the
deprecation of Periscope.
That's such an insider term, deprecation.
You know what a Silicon Valley type is.
You're reading the press release there.
Okay, so do you want to say anything, Cam,
or do you want me just to kick out your first jam?
I actually do have a little intro, and Mike,
I believe it's the track that I called a last-minute audible on.
Right.
Due to a conversation that took place by DM, and there was a bit of a spoiler with what was going to be the first track.
Name him.
It was Matt Layden. Who was it again?
Oh, it was Michael Lang.
I was going to say, it's Matt Layden.
Who was it again?
Oh, it was Michael Lang.
It was Michael Lang, F-O-T-M, Michael Lang.
Sort of said the same jab to Mike,
say, hey, Mike, here's your CanCon theme today.
I'll just say what it was.
It was the Doughboys' Fix Me.
That was the first song I thought of last week.
Right.
Michael Lang kind of stole my thunder. So let's just say I moved a little column over to the right
in terms of the title,
So I just moved, let's just say I moved a little column over to the right in terms of the title. And I chose this song for the first jam. When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
and ignite
your bones
and I
will try
to fix
you
This is actually
Dr. Nick Rivera
fix you, no
this of course is Coldplay the song Fix You This is actually Dr. Nick Rivera. Fix you. No.
This, of course, is Coldplay, the song Fix You.
So we went, again, to summarize, went from the Doughboys Fix Me to Coldplay Fix You.
And I guess this is kind of what Dr. Rivera said to you today.
Mike, he literally fixed you um coldplay i i feel like we haven't actually talked
that much about coldplay amazingly i mean i was hoping we would get through the whole year without
it but here we are yeah what are you guys coldplay fans do you like this band obviously a massively
they're good they're good popular they're they're fine like they're better than fine i know leavey
fumka loves coldplay i can tell by her face.
I'll give her a moment.
They're like you two of this generation.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
I don't dislike Coldplay,
but I never actively pursue any Coldplay.
No, but they're nice songs.
This is a nice song.
You guys might have seen this at some point
because I was in a very active
Twitter debate on the question
because this started
in the question, is Maroon
5 a rock band?
Most people thought Maroon 5 was not a rock band.
They were at one point. Yeah, they were.
They've morphed into a...
Technically they are.
Kind of the same question. Like Imagine Dragons.
Is Coldplay a rock band?
Of course.
Yeah, listen.
They also have like...
Wait, who says...
I'm kind of with you, Mike.
Like I don't have any Coldplay songs.
Maybe I have one.
Maybe don't panic.
I like don't panic a lot.
But like I respect the song
and like I hear it in a movie and it's cool
or I see it in a commercial or, you know,
I respect the hell out of them as... You you know, I think they have nice songs.
They do have some nice songs and the difference between a rock band and a pop
band for people who are wondering, who are listening, you know,
like a pop band is just making songs for the top 10, you know,
trying to crack the top 10. They're trying to be a pop act, popular music,
you know, 680 CFTR.
They're trying to be on not q107 or 102.1
does that make sense yeah sometimes songs cross over from 102.1 on the cftr but like usually
that's not the intention when they set out to make that song sometimes because i think that's
the thing i sort of struggle with with coldplay maybe just because they're so massively popular they don't
seem like a rock
band to me even though they
they're totally a rock band I mean they have
a lot of poppy hits of course but
that's a rock band well also like you know
when they first showed up I mean they were sort of
very much in the same conversation as like
Travis and all the
UK bands of that
era absolutely they're all rock bands is like Travis. Travis, yes. And all the UK bands of that era.
Absolutely.
They're all rock bands.
Yeah.
They're all rock bands.
It's a band and they have guitars
and it's a rock band.
Yeah.
Right.
Now, yeah.
I was just going to say,
I'm just going to sort of
order off the menu here
because I didn't have time
to do any fast or fun facts about this.
Stu can't mention this song
is often used in like commercials
and movies and compilations.
The Wikipedia pages is littered with these.
A lot of stuff about hockey,
it's used in like the intros at Montreal Canadian games.
Right.
Because it's got that build.
It's got that emotional build.
It's actually really good for like montages and stuff.
Yeah.
So this song was actually played at the uh steve jobs memorial celebration of life of again event at apple
headquarters after steve jobs uh passed away in 2011 in cupertino um was also performed at the
one love manchester charity concert that was held in the wake of the shooting at the what was it like an ariana grande
yes in manchester yeah ariana grande which was like a horrible horrible thing and then uh you
may recall too this was used in an ad campaign for sick kids hospital yes some very visually
arresting like it's currently used for that i think i think that's active yeah i feel like
that's like still on so yeah this song's kind of everywhere
it's also been in every all sorts of
like TV shows and movies including
World Trade Center starring
what Nicolas Cage was in that
I want to say and TV
shows including the OC
oh can I tell you my memory
of this song which is a
Ricky Gervais show I liked quite a bit called
Derek and the basically the most emotional memory of this song, which is a Ricky Gervais show I liked quite a bit called Derek. And the
basically the most emotional scene that actually will bring me to tears if I think about it is
Derek's running after his like estranged father to this song. And even hearing it now, I actually
just picture this this great scene of Derek running after his dad as his dad's driving away.
And oh, my friends, it's quite the emotional song.
Maybe it's just the procedure I had earlier today, but it really...
It might be your lack of balls talking.
I have my balls.
Hey, Stu, real quick production note before we get back to Cam's fun facts here.
The fader for the microphone channel, is it actually up as high as you can go?
It is now.
So where was it before?
I was playing with it.
We know that, but where was the fader?
Now it's at the very tippy top.
Okay.
As high as it can go.
Real quick, and this is obviously,
I'm not even going to edit it out,
but it's going to be so quick it won't matter.
When you click the button number one
to go to level,
and you go into level, what number do you see beside level?
18. Oh, you're way low, buddy.
You should be 35.
Jeez.
Oh, I should have done this
in the beginning because you were quiet.
Wait, so now it's like way better?
Yeah. Hey guys, this is Stu Stone
and Mike has no balls on Pandemic Friday.
Here's a little Coldplay.
Can we start over?
I'm not unclear.
So before you couldn't hear me at all?
It was just quiet.
And now I'm just like so good?
Well, you're better.
So you're at 35 now?
I'm at 35 now.
Yeah, if you project in the mic, it's much better.
I'm at 35 now.
You were so much quieter than Cam
because Cam's rocking the gamer headset.
Maybe I need to get myself a gamer headset.
I know.
I'm glad this works.
I wasn't sure.
It was like $35 on Amazon.
No, it's good.
It's good.
Awesome.
One final fun fact about this.
This was a top five hit in Canada and the UK
going to number four, respectively. Not that big
a hit in the US. This topped out at 59 on the Billboard Hot 100.
Wow, that's kind of surprising.
Yeah, I think this is, to me, this seems like one of the signature Coldplay songs. It's
certainly one of the first ones I think of, and when I think of vasectomies. It's one of the first ones.
It's a great vasectomy jam. I'll play
a couple seconds of it, but I was looking forward to hearing
this one.
So, fuck Michael Lang
for ruining that. Can I say that?
That's okay. But anyway, this would have been a fine choice
to fix me by the Doughboys out of Montreal.
A band we have talked a lot about.
But have we ever played them?
No, we've played them.
Yeah, I think so.
It never hurts to play them again.
Can you hear me now?
Is this better, Mike?
Yeah, but what did you...
I'm not sure it's better, but what did you change?
Well, I turned down my headphone volume.
Does that affect you?
No.
Okay.
No, you can do anything you want with your headphones.
I don't care.
But yeah, you're better than you were
because I just want you to be as loud as Cam
because you're coming into my same channel.
Okay, so I like the Doughboys.
So should I play my first song?
Yeah, do you want to set it up here?
I'll bring down the Doughboys.
I'm going to set it up.
So basically, for those who are
just joining us, Mike had a
vasectomy. It was a little
pinch, a little tug.
Some bruising?
He's shooting blanks, we think.
But you know, he's going to go back on
January the 13th, and he's
going to shoot in the cup.
No, I've got to wait longer than
that. 12 weeks. Longer than that. My bad. 12 weeks. I thought you said January 12th. 12 weeks, he's going to shoot in the cup. No, I got to wait longer than that, 12 weeks. Longer than that.
My bad, 12 weeks.
I thought you said January 12th.
12 weeks, he's going to shoot some – he's going to fill up a cup,
and he's going to roll up the rim to win.
And we're playing jams about Mike and his vasectomy.
So here's my first jam. Oh, the forward yesterday makes me want to stay.
What they said was real makes me want to steal. I'm still living under house.
Guess I'm living high and mouse.
All I got this time got no meaning just to rhyme.
Take time with a wounded hand Cause it likes to heal
Take time with a wounded hand
Cause it likes to steal
Take time with a wounded hand
Cause it likes to heal
I like to steal
I'm half the man I used to be
Cause I feel as if no one cares
Well, I'm half the man I used to be Very clever, Stu. Well, I'm half the man I used to be
Very clever, Stu.
I mean, I wanted you to keep hearing him sing it,
but you've got to get used to that.
You are half the man you used to be.
You know, this is Stu winning round one
with Stone Temple Pilots.
A song called Creep.
Obviously the lyrics to the chorus repeated over and over again.
I'm half the man I used to be,
which technically speaking,
that might be the case here because Mike had a vasectomy,
as we alluded to.
Maybe he is half the man he used to be now because he no longer is.
He no longer has a lot live bullets in the chamber.
He's like 20% of the man.
He used to be not even half.
Not even half. Listen to this. Do you guys remember
when Sass Jordan was on Toronto Mic'd?
Yeah.
I mentioned to her I was going to get a vasectomy in 2020
and she was like, don't do that because she had heard
these stories of guys lose their mojo.
I know. I mean,
Dr. Sass.
So she would agree if you used to. she would say for sure i am half the man uh i used to be yeah did she have
intentions with you like why would this be part of her concern what i'd say watch it on i'm worried
now will periscope delete those archived uh videos i have on there including the gates has jordan
i don't know i'd be I'd be ready for anything.
Oh my God. How do I back those up? Oh my God.
I wish I knew someone at Twitter. Holy smoke.
So Stu,
did we play this on a Pandemic Friday before?
We may have. I'm not sure.
Either way, I've got some fun facts about
this particular tune. Hit us up. I love this song.
We all know this is Stone Temple Pilots.
A couple fun facts
about this song.
It is not actually about vasectomy.
So that's kind of a shocker.
But there was two music videos shot for this.
And I kind of remember there being some controversy here,
but they needed to record a second version of it.
The original version that Gus Van Sant had shot for the band was shelved because it had drugs and sex and all sorts of stuff that was making it unplayable.
So they went back with a different director.
And I don't know if I remember seeing the two different videos.
Do you guys have any memories of this?
I do remember multiple videos of this somehow.
Like, this sounds familiar.
My memory, this is from Core,
right? And I remember Plush was the
big jam, and then some Wicked
Garden, and
but I don't remember, I just remember this
from the radio, and of course the CD,
which I loved, but I don't actually remember this
getting a lot of much music played, this song.
I just remember the video was boring, from what I recall.
It was kind of a bleh video for this song.
Am I wrong?
I don't know.
The song's really good, though.
And, you know, STP, a lot of people thought they were sort of like an imitation grunge band
trying to capitalize on the sound.
And they sort of found their own, you know, and carved their own lane, obviously.
Tragically, we know what happened with Scott Weiland, the lead vocalist, who's no longer with us.
But there was other incarnations of the group with Chester Bennington,
who's also no longer with us.
So now I think they just held auditions for a new singer.
And there's a gentleman named Jeff Gutt, who I'm not familiar with,
but apparently he's the singer now.
Jeff Gutt.
I would say that Canadian rock singer Lucas Rossi, if you know who that is,
would have been a good...
From InXS? Was that the InXS guy?
Yeah. No, Supernova.
Rockstar Supernova.
That was with Tommy Lee and whoever else was in that version.
Who was the InXS guy?
Who's the guy who won the InXS contest?
Something like...
JD4.
Oh, yeah. Okay.
I get those two guys mixed up all the time.
Okay. I'm with you.
I feel like we learned on an earlier pandemic Fridays that former I Mother Earth singer Brian Byrne tried out for.
Yes.
That was the whole reason why he was kicked out of the group.
Yeah.
Wow.
Now, here's some fun facts.
The group was initially called Mighty Joe Young.
Oh, after the movie.
Mighty Joe Young.
Oh, after the movie.
And they got contacted by a lawyer after they got their record deal saying,
hey, there's already a blues guy called Mighty Joe Young.
So they had to scramble to find a new name.
Inspired by the STP motor oil stickers that they were fans of in their youth,
various ideas on the initials STP were shared by the band, including but not limited to Shirley
Temple's Pussy
and Stereo
Temple Pirates.
Well, that's better.
There's Stereo Temple Pilots.
Stereo Temple Pirates.
Oh, Pirate. Wow.
Eventually settled on the name Stone
Temple Pilots. I'm Alan Cross.
Technical production by Rob Johnston.
Yeah, so that's a pretty cool story.
You know, these guys have made a lot of money.
They've sold a lot of records.
Right.
It's the brothers, right?
They're brothers, right?
Yeah, there's a couple brothers in there.
And the song charted not very well, actually.
I mean, number two on the album uh rock chart
but on the main right you know top 100 hot 100 uh this song came in at an underwhelming number 59
and in canada number 45 do you know where we're plush peaked probably like number one i don't
know i don't have that in front not number one but uh i'm just curious like how the how that can find out for you yeah sure because one thing about the
billboard hot 100 is it really favors pop like uh it's really difficult but they had other singles
off the album sex type thing yeah and wicked garden garden we're all uh they also toured with
mega death was there oh and uh rage against the machine. So no wonder people, I don't know if they fit that bill.
Yeah, shout out.
Firstly, I know we talked about how do we feel about Coldplay.
I feel pretty indifferent to Coldplay,
but I do think Fix You is actually a really nice song.
But I just don't have a lot of passion for Coldplay.
I would never want to, like I would never go,
oh, let's go see Coldplay at the Scotiabank Arena.
Like I would never think that.
But STP is a band I loved seeing live.
I just think they rock hard and they were a great band so there's a lot to say
about uh plush i can tell you even though we didn't play that song but it went to number one
on the mainstream rock chart sure and uh on the hot 100 it uh didn't do as well but the decade
chart of the best of the decade 2010 to 2019 that's really weird
yeah that's illegal it's the number four song of that decade because when he passed away the song
went back on the charts and uh actually went to number seven after he passed away sorry plushed it
yes wow now i learned this from a podcast recently when they were talking about Smells Like Teen Spirit and how it was doing well on the Billboard Hot 100 and how difficult it was for an alt-rock song to do well on the Billboard Hot 100.
That really is the realm of the Michael Jacksons of the world.
That is really pop land.
Think about Ain't Nothing But a G-Thing, Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg.
How did that song crack pop radio?
It did.
Ain't Nothing But A G Thing, Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg.
How did that song crack pop radio?
It did.
Well, nowadays that kind of song is really what dominates right now.
We talked about this a little on Twitter when we talked about doing a second Yacht Rock episode.
I think it would be interesting to discuss, again,
bands that were a big deal on the charts and have just totally faded.
Sorry,
this is kind of tangential to what we're talking about,
but specifically I I'm so curious why no one really talks about the band
REM much anymore.
I feel like,
like,
are there any,
like,
well,
because it's in their teenagers who like,
I know that,
but like,
meanwhile,
Toto and journey and Fleetwood Mac and even Nirvana and Joy Division,
all these bands are really popular
with young people still.
I feel like R.E.M. has just
really, really faded for a band
that was so popular.
I don't know, but is Michael Stipe
outspoken about stuff or something?
What could it be?
I don't know. I see him pop up every once
in a while like on a yeah song exploder wasn't he on song exploder or something i know people
that are obsessed with rem like yeah their favorite band but i hear you i hear you don't
hear too much about them outside of those you know one or two friends that are but i love them
how much do you hear about a band like for example how much do you hear about sonic youth or uh like
i mean i don't know
like i feel like those kind of seminal rock leaders yeah i just feel like rem was like
for a few years the pixies the pixies how often like how often do you hear rem was like number
one band on pop charts too like religion was like a mega hit i know yeah like they were very
close to the u2 level for and like what's the frequency was like a mega hit. I know. Yeah, like they were very close to the U2 level for five, six years.
It was like a big radio song.
Yeah, like number one albums,
massive like crossover hits.
Everybody Heard was a massive hit.
You're right.
Pixies didn't have that.
You're right.
It's quite different.
You're right.
Anyway, very tangential.
And in the place where you live.
Yeah, you've got my attention.
Are you kidding me?
The end of the world as we know it.
Yeah.
I think I kicked out that jam.
Okay, my first jam,
because Stu's already claimed victory,
so what's the point, right?
Let's shut it all down.
But I'm playing a song by an FOTM,
so let's play it,
and then I'll chat you up uh the singer here i would have given you all of my heart but there's someone who's torn it apart And she's taken almost all that I've got
But if you want I'll try to love again
Baby, I'll try to love again
But I know
The first cut is the deepest
Baby, I know
The first cut is the deepest
But when it comes to being lucky
She's cursed
When it comes to loving me
She's the worst
But when it comes to being
loved, she's first.
Now, I'm going to say very little.
I'm intentionally going to say very little about
this particular song,
except, of course, this is a cover of
The First Cut is the Deepest.
Does anyone on this Zoom call
know who's singing this jam?
It does sound like
Neil Diamond, but it's not.
It has that real Neil Diamond
schmaltzy sort of thing to it.
It's really kind of infectious.
Is this Keith Hampshire? Correctamundo!
And is this the same guy like
OK Blue Jays?
I was going to do a little mind blow.
That's the guy that sings OK Blue Jays?
Yeah, I was going to do a little mind blow in a moment here. That blows my mind.
Yeah, I thought it would. Cam, you ruined it!
Well, after fucking
Michael Lang stole my Doughboy's Thunder,
I just want to ruin everything.
That blows my mind still.
This guy, I feel, is underappreciated.
This version
of First Cut is the deepest.
And obviously, referring to the vasectomy,
First Cut is the deepest. Ha ha ha. Like in the vasectomy, First Cut is the Deepest.
Ha, ha, ha.
Like in your testicle.
Right.
And of course,
you're going to have to
learn to love again.
Right.
Yeah.
Yes.
No.
Well done, Stu.
Right.
And there's multiple reasons
why I kicked out the jam.
But this is my actual
favorite version.
Like, with all due respect
to Cat Stevens,
this is my favorite version
of the First Cut is the Deepest.
It was a big hit
in this country.
I'm not sure how it did
anywhere else.
Keith Hampshire's an interesting guy. And if you haven't heard his appearance on Toronto Mike,
you should, but he
was a pirate radio
star back when
pirate radio was a big deal in the 60s.
Pirate radio Chris Sheppard.
Yeah, well, he was literally on
the offshore pirate radio
he was on Radio Caroline,
which was a boat in the english channel or something
was out offshore so that the uh the rules wouldn't apply to them and they were broadcasting from a
boat like this is the real pirate radio and he was called uh keifer and he had a couple of shows uh
keifer's commotions and keith keifer's uprising and he was a big fucking deal on these pirate
radio stations and then not
only did he become a like a local rock star or whatever you call this genre pop rock whatever it
is he had big hits here he would uh host his own variety show on cbc and then he became a radio
star like this guy was a very popular radio dj of his era a little bit like a yes well said and
then i was going to
blow some minds.
I didn't think I'd ever
blow Cam's mind,
but I thought I might blow
Stu Stone's mind.
This is the same guy singing.
He's just all delivery
for this one.
Right.
So that's Keith Hampshire
singing this song. This is like, the other one Right So that's Keith Hampshire singing this song
This is like the other one was him doing Neil Diamond
And this is him doing like
What's his name? I Love L.A. Guy
Oh, Randy Newman
Yeah
Oh my god, wow
Okay, that blew my mind
It totally is
Wow
Well, the guy they always compared him to
He's like a David Sousa
He does impressions
You said David And I thought you were going to say
the name of the guy that he was often compared to
for his vocal styling.
It's not in this song, but David Clayton Thomas.
Yeah, David Clayton Thomas has a similar kind of singing style.
But okay, so yes, this is Keith doing a different vibe
for this recording, which we still hear often during our summers.
And we're at, hopefully we can return
there one day and see them again.
By the way, Mike, that
version of the first cut
is the deepest. I feel like that was
a real mainstay on
10.50 Chung AM.
Like forever. Like a classic
AM mono
radio CanCon hit. Also 100 staple on 1220 chin probably
johnny shout out to johnny lombardi oh i used to i used to work the chin picnics uh
didn't we all me and cam used to go the bikini yeah the bikini contest was very popular. Formative.
Now I got some Blue Jay fever here. I can't wait till... It might be COVID.
You might want to get that checked.
Here's a question for you guys.
Yes or no.
Will there be a
baseball game with fans in the stands
in Toronto in this calendar
year? Can you go first, Stu?
Like in 2020 or in the calendar year? Can you go first, Stu? Like in 2020 or in the calendar year?
Next calendar year.
Yes.
You think there will be?
My turn?
I think if the Blue Jays make the playoffs somehow,
we could be ready to go by October.
Right.
I think it's minimal chance.
I'm going to say zero.
No.
I'm going to say there will be no fans,
regular fans in the Rogers, whatever they call it, the Rogers Center for Blue Jay Action in 2021.
No. Yeah, I tend to agree with Mike. I don't know.
I hate to say like I'm just not optimistic that this this vaccine rollout is going to go quickly.
There's just so many just kind many logistical and supply chain stuff.
I don't know.
The way that things are going now, I know
it's particularly bad now.
Who knows what the next couple of months are going to look
like.
They say that one in 80 people in Los
Angeles has it already.
Has the COVID-19.
That's right.
I don't know.
It seems like the Canadian government
is just erring on the side of,
not like, you know, similar to Raptors,
you know, just erring on the side of,
yeah, don't come here, Americans.
Yeah, I'll be shocked.
First force.
I think that you should set your sights on 2021.
Maybe we should all go to opening day.
You're saying 2022 is what you meant to say.
Oh, what did I say? Thank you.
You've been really fucking up since you got your balls cut.
I'm just so pleased
that you fixed your microphone.
Is that Cat Spade?
That's like a
Toronto Mike type of thing.
They have a lot in common now.
Lift up its tail.
Okay, second jam for you, Cam.
Do you want to say anything or want me to just kick it?
Yeah, just kick it.
It's another cover, huh?
Is it?
I don't think so.
No. I don't think so.
This will give me a chance to tell you about my Emla patch. Emla? But I have never seen A turning, a turning from deceit
Cause a child rose as light
Tried to reveal what I could feel
I can't understand myself
anymore
Such a cam pic.
Like, do we know this song?
It's not a knowing, like, I think if,
I personally didn't remember this cut by this band.
I remember the band because they had a few big hits,
but I don't remember this song. Yeah,. I remember the band because they had a few big hits, but I don't remember this song.
Yeah, so anyway, the band is Portishead.
The name of this song is Numb.
So we'll talk about Portishead in a second.
So Mike, do they put a little dry ice down there?
No, let me please.
Like a little needle?
I'm glad you asked about this.
So they give you this sticker.
It's actually an Emla patch. I don't know what Emla means, but E-M-L-A. And they so they give you this sticker it's actually an emla patch i
don't know what emla means but emla and they say can you please stick it on basically like the base
of your penis onto the scrotum so that it starts to numb you okay so good choice of a song so uh i
had to wear it for a while before they put me in the other room to do their thing but it numbs
into your flesh and yeah numbs the area so So it kind of leaches into your flesh and numbs the area.
So I guess that's the area.
Because then you remove it,
just when you lie in the thing
and Doc's going to do his thing,
he says, please remove it
and put it in the garbage or whatever.
But that amla patch numbs the area
that they're going to be messing with.
Interesting.
Because when you have a wart removed
on your foot or something,
they use that canister.
Oh, they freeze it.
Gotcha.
Burn it off, burn it off.
Like a soldering iron.
Well, for those of you who are drinking along with us,
Mike did say penis, so take another shot.
Oh, save that for your next jam, Stu.
Yeah, so let's talk a little bit about Portishead.
Do let the dude let
the record show i i did consider holly mcnarlin um but i i feel like what we've talked about that
on pandemic fridays i feel like sammy had a story about meeting yeah mcnarlin and she was
yeah exactly and uh my podcast came up i think in that conversation yeah yeah because she's someone
who's like completely fallen.
She did a Bob McCowan thing.
He was like, you should go on Toronto Mike.
She was like, meh.
It didn't meet her purpose.
She did not say no, unlike Bob McCowan.
One of these days, she's going to put Toronto on the map.
Bob's going to ruin the day he said no to Toronto Mike.
Hey, those fat cats
down on Bay Street, no one has their ear
like Bob McCowan.
I love that.
Oh, he said broads too, right?
He referred to women as broads.
That was a lot.
What a piece of work from Simon Howe.
I kind of missed the details of that.
Can you give me like the CliffsNotes
or the ColesCliff?
God, I feel like that has to be a separate episode.
There's a lot to unpack there.
So anyway, Portishead, Numb. This was actually their first ever single, feel like that has to be a separate episode there's a lot to unpack there um so anyway
portis had numb this was actually their first ever single if you could believe it okay because
they had some big jams and i didn't remember that one my mind yeah so this is from the album dummy
from august of 1994 um number was the bigger but you're right, the bigger hits from that album were Sour Times.
Big Time and Glory Box.
And Glory Box, yeah.
Glory Box was actually a top 10 hit in Canada,
if you believe it.
I do believe it,
because Sour Times and Glory Box
were the two big songs I remember from that album,
Dummy, that Numb apparently was the lead single on.
It wasn't also Alessia Cara got famous from sampling.
That's right.
I was just going to bring that up.
Now popularized from the,
I think it might have been her debut single,
the song Here by Alessia Cara,
which famously sampled Glory Box.
Which is a sexy little song, man.
I'm telling you, that trip hop stuff is really nice.
All I know is this album, Dummy,
when I went to university,
was in residence at McMaster,
everybody had this fucking album.
This was like one of the albums you would hear.
This and like Oasis,
What's the Story, Morning Glory.
And I think like the Train Spotting soundtrack.
It seemed like those were the three CDs.
Right, Born Slippy.
You got to hear that at university.
Everybody had those three.
Could you have gone with Nirvana, Numb?
Yeah, or no, isn't, wait, no, Nirvana's not Numb.
U2 is Numb.
Comfortably Numb.
Yeah, actually, yeah, I did consider, but I fucking hate that.
Nirvana's Dumb.
Dumb is Numb.
Yeah, you're right.
U2 is Numb, though, and I was thinking of that.
I don't know.
I mean, Sass Jordan said your vasectomy is done. I thought that would have fit.
I'm scared to tell her I had it done. I think she'll think less
of me when I tell her I did it.
There is less of you to
think of.
She did sing Double Trouble.
I don't know.
There are two of them down there.
She did make the best of that Al Grego put together.
I know you guys didn't make it, but she did.
Here's another question for you guys.
Fuck that dude.
Fuck Michael Lang.
I didn't say fuck Michael Lang.
I would make love to Michael Lang.
Fuck Al Grego.
You're putting words
in our mouths.
Well, you just said it, right?
There's Juan's making an appearance.
Oh, fuck Juan.
He's hanging out at the breakfast bar. This is actually their only fans.com live feed yeah there's one person
on our live feed although i did invite ian uh service but he hasn't shown up yet so um the
you two sung numb sang by the edge you guys like that i don't know uh Can you remind me how that goes? It's really high.
It's like...
I think that song is
a complete piece of shit.
I'm glad
you chose the Portishead. Good for you.
I think it's better.
Fun fact, because we've talked about
Nena Cherry a few times.
Nina Cherry?
I always say Nina, and then Cam corrects me.
I think it is Nina.
I feel like we talked about her in Massive Attack.
She also has ties to Portishead.
Jeff Barrow and Beth Gibbons, who are Portishead,
the two-piece, met during an enterprise allowance course
in February 1991 and they recorded their
first ideas for the songs for this album Portishead their first their first album as Portishead in
Nene Cherry's kitchen in London while Bar was hired by Nene Cherry's husband, Cameron McVeigh, her too, to work on Nina's second album, Homebrew.
So to summarize, Jeff Burrow from Portishead
worked on Nina Cherry's second album.
Nina Cherry, I think, was from Bristol,
where Mass Effect worked.
She's not from Buffalo?
Not from Buffalo, no,
even though she often hangs in a Buffalo stance.
And also it ties to Soul to Soul,
who we learned last week.
Someone from that band sang back up for Hojo.
Is somebody taking notes on all the things we're learning
doing this for 40 weeks in a row?
This is incoherent.
We need to get back in the backyard.
I just want to remember,
the word that people have to hear
to be able to take a shot, what was that again?
Penis.
I will introduce that
anytime I hear it. If you hear that,
that means I caught it and you can take the drink.
Okay, very good.
You'll hear it actually a lot.
My next take.
I actually asked MF if she had ever heard of this song,
and she hadn't.
It came up in my combo with Mike Treblecock.
No pun intended.
She's perfect for this episode.
She is.
Here, I'll speak while I hit the post here.
There was a compilation called Awesome 90s
that had a Killjoys jam on it.
It also had this one.
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.
This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home when I think it's going to get me in trouble.
Or I can rent it out when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
and the next morning I can't for the life of me
remember what I did to live up.
First I looked around my apartment.
I mean, I would literally be wasted at this point.
It's a great jam, buddy.
Thanks for playing this.
I love this song.
This song is obviously, it's called Detachable Penis.
And that is by a group called King Missile.
Detachable Penis.
Actually became a modest hit on the charts, guys.
Number 25 on the Modern Rock chart.
Unbelievable.
This is one of those songs with like, you know, like not a surf, like popular.
There was like some other sort of graduation song that I remember where a guy just sort of does a monologue.
Popular, not a surf.
Yeah, I said not a surf, but there's like another one.
It's called like institutionalized.
Yeah, it was like a guy that was just giving you sort of like life advice.
Oh, yeah, that was the guy who did Moulin Rouge.
What's that director's name?
Baz Luhrmann.
I think it's him.
But the better example would be, shout out to Brother Bill.
He loves this song so much.
But institutionalized by suicidal tendencies.
Yeah, all I wanted was a Pepsi.
A Balls by ACDC has that.
Which has been Hanson.
It's been Hanson today.
I'm just going to throw that out there right now.
Well, we should play it at the end or something.
But yeah, so he does this monologue
and he's talking literally about a night of heavy drinking
and he awakens to find that his penis is missing,
which happened on similar occasions.
And despite his best efforts,
he's unable to recover his penis.
So depressed, he goes to a restaurant for breakfast.
He encounters a street vendor who has possession of the missing penis.
I'm not making this up, guys.
This is the actual song.
He negotiates the price.
He negotiates the price.
I'm giving you spoilers, by the way, on the lyrics here.
He negotiates the price, and he ends up getting his dink back.
I don't want to push the button anymore.
Spoiler alert.
Yeah.
There was some commercial backlash, obviously, because of the contents of the song.
But there was a few stations that continued to be supportive after beginning getting pulled off the airwaves.
And a lot of people. This is a really funny guys this is a really funny sort of quote from the band um but you know they really uh were not you know these are musicians and they're like
known for this one song and they're so sick of this song that when they would... I want to get this right here.
The band
realized the song had drawn in
so many casual fans who did not
care about the rest of the group's
material. Thus, the
band began playing the song
early in the set so that people
who don't like us could leave
and we could play for the people who cared.
That worked out well.
People did leave.
That's a power move.
Wow.
Yeah.
So they ended up playing to like empty shows by the end because people
left after they.
Yeah.
That's like if a Marcy playground would just play sex and candy,
like the second song or something.
Do you have like,
I don't know anything about that.
I assume this band probably is into like Frank Zappa
or like Primus or like you know the type of
bands Alani Schwartz would like
can you
like what is this band King Missile
do you know
I don't have like too much to offer other
than like they sort of stumble
onto a hit with this song and they sort of
wrote it I can
do a little bit of a dig or deep for you.
But he was,
I think that the singer was a open mic poetry reading sort of guy.
And so he put this band together to sort of talk,
play behind him while he was talking,
because him reading poetry was coming across as quote, totally boring.
So they started this band where he sort of does his poetry
and this is what happened.
Do you guys remember the movie Surf Ninjas?
Sure.
Do I know it or was I?
No, I wasn't in it.
But I do know it, yes.
With Ernie Reyes Jr.
Anyway, one of the songs on the soundtrack is King Missile.
Was it Detachable Penis?
No, Our Jungle by King Missile.
I was going to say that would be problematic these days.
I don't think surfing.
I think it would probably be problematic then as well.
Yeah.
Remember those real estate ninjas?
I feel like 1236 put this in his newsletter.
There was some backlash.
Can I ask you guys?
I know of a guy because he sponsors another podcast and he refers to himself
as the retirement Sherpa.
Is that problematic?
Like,
can you,
he's just a white guy.
Can you call yourself a Sherpa?
I,
I,
I don't have an issue with it,
but maybe it's a problem.
I don't,
I'm the wrong guy to ask.
Yeah.
It might be problematic.
Yeah.
I could see people being.
Usually the rule goes, if you
have to ask,
it probably is.
I think that's a good rule.
The Cleveland baseball team is getting a new nickname.
That's crazy. It makes sense, but
as someone who grew up as a huge fan
of the Cleveland baseball team, I have a lot of
problematic merchandise.
And Major League
is now a problematic movie.
Wow, I didn't even think of that.
That sucks. Like Joe Carter's
first... No, no, Major
League, the movie, is that not
going to exist anymore? Of course it will
exist. There's a lot of things that have become problematic
that still exist. I mean, I can still go
see the movie Seven,
even though people have cancelled Kevin Spacey.
Yeah, of course it'll still exist.
Yes, it'll exist.
Okay, that was a great choice, Stu.
Another win, round two.
I mean, it's not quite how vasectomies work,
but it was a good sentiment there.
It's exactly how it works.
Your penis is now detached from your balls.
Are you ready for my second
jam? Yes. very good guess very good guess I like to sit with nothing at home
I disappear, turn off the phone
I lose myself, hide from the sun
I make a trip, I'm out of fun
I cut you in, oh let's go for a fun
I cut you in, you ain't leaving at all, I'll cut you in.
Let it go to your head, I'll cut you in.
Parked on land.
Always dug this jam.
This is good guess to say Alice in Chains
because, of course, this is Jerry Cantrell
who is the founder of Alice in Chains.
But this is a solo track by Jerry.
No, no lane on this jam.
It's funny.
We often we talk about Lane Staley because, of course, he was the voice of all those great Alice in Chains hits.
But like Jerry Cantrell is is Alice in Chains, right?
Well, they always sort of reminded me not not in terms of the sound, but kind of like Def Leppard, where it would always be this chorus.
I always thought that it was like it's all like blended vocals and stuff.
Definitely, because I mean, even listening to Jerry on this solo track
where Lane had nothing to do with it, it sounds so Alice in Chains-y.
Yeah, a lot of like multi-tracking.
I'm not like a sound engineer, but there there's definitely some stuff going on with the vocals.
But it kind of reminds you how...
People who don't use multi-tracking,
that's more you're going to hear.
Stu, we're getting a little feedback on your mic there.
I don't know if you changed anything.
Can you hear me?
I can hear you.
I was wondering, maybe because I'm not using multi-tracking.
So maybe you...
Honestly, I will pay for the helicopter
to deliver you to my backyard once a week.
And I will, you know what?
I'll sacrifice the gear
to make sure the heater is only on you, Stu.
That's what I'm willing to do.
Well, maybe I'll try to find a USB mic or something.
I apologize.
I did my best, man.
I'm trying here.
It's okay.
This is a tough pandemic
and we just appreciate you hanging in there here
so I'll basically
wrap this up nicely
it's Cut You In
I was cut this morning
so Cut You In
by Jerry Cantrell
it's also a song
I always liked
102.1 played it
quite a bit
and I like that
you can hear
like the blended
vocals as Cam
mentioned for
Alice in Chains
because yeah
Lane was like lead but Jerry was right there with them so you can Cam mentioned for Alice in Chains, because yeah,
Lane was like lead,
but Jerry was right there with them.
So you can almost hear the Alice in Chains and Jerry's voice because he is Alice in Chains.
He's the,
he's the founder.
He's the lead guitarist.
He's co-lead vocalist.
Sometimes he is the lead vocalist,
uh,
main songwriter.
You know,
he wrote the music for Alice in Chains.
So Alice in Chains is Jerry Cantrell
and Cut You In is a great solo
jam by the man. I think this is a classic
Pandemic Fridays pick
too because the song
I don't know about Stu but
I had the oh my god
this song. You know something that
we probably heard a million times. Oh we call that
a forgotten jam.
Yes. Yes.
Very much so.
And I always kind of liked the song cause it almost had like a vague,
like R and B thing.
Like the chorus,
like,
okay,
you in,
but yeah,
almost like you could see like a horn section in there.
Right.
I don't think there was,
but yeah,
God,
I remember the name of this album too.
Bog,
Boggy Depot.
Was that Boggy?
Something boggy, something about a bog, a big bog guy. So no, I remember the name of this album too. Boggy Depot? It was Boggy something.
Something about a bog.
A big bog guy.
Wade Boggs?
That's part of it, yeah.
It was called Boggy Depot. Good for you, buddy.
That was Boggy Depot that had this jam.
Yeah. 1998.
I saw
Alice in Chains
in concert in the most
recent incarnation
of them
yeah
William Duvall
and they have
and they have a singer
that sounds just like
Wayne Staley
it's crazy
I think I was at that show
that was at
were you at the Molson Amphitheater
was at the
was at the Budweiser stage
and
it had
they were opening up
for Blink 182
oh
okay
I saw him open up for Velvet Revolver at the Budweiser stage,
but it was still called Most Amphitheater.
But, yeah, his name is William Duvall, and he sounds just like Layne Staley.
Billy Duvall.
They're like the Journey of Grunge.
Right.
And he's, you know, I need to tell you now, of course,
much like Bugs Bunny, the lead singer of Journey is Filipino.
There you go.
You know, also
Manny Pacquiao.
Yes! The world's
most famous Filipino is Manny Pacquiao.
Absolutely. Wow.
That guy's a big deal.
By the way, do you remember Black Eyed Peas?
One of the Black Eyed Peas, actually,
is Filipino, I believe.
That is correct.
Did either of you guys watch this Mike Tyson fight?
No, I ignored it completely.
Was it just like farcical?
I sort of intentionally didn't read anything about it.
It was a bit of a train wreck, but it was fun.
Did you pay for it, Stu?
I didn't, but I was watching it with someone who did.
Someone in your bubble?
Was it a work or a shoot?
It was a work.
Yeah.
Okay.
But it was good.
Yeah.
Okay.
It was good.
Okay.
They were streaming it at Adamson's Barbecue, so I went down there.
A couple of my buddies.
We got some brewskis.
We brought our own beer.
Oh, because down the street is Great Lakes Brewery.
Yeah. We brought some GLB in Oh, because down the street is Great Lakes Brewery. Yeah.
We brought some GLB in, and there was plenty of seating.
And there's lots of GLB and Faking a Murderer.
If people haven't seen it yet, they should check that out.
Okay.
I have a third jam from Cam Gordon.
Cam, I actually did a little swap on you,
and I need to clarify if it's okay,
because there's two versions of this song.
Oh.
I had the second version in my collection,
which was a better version than the YouTube rip that you sent me.
The Gandharvas?
Because the Gandharvas' First Day of Spring,
it's a completely different song,
the one that's on Apple Music,
than the one that we know.
It's terrible.
You know, that First Day of Spring is on,
yeah, that's on the same awesome 90s compilation that has.
Which version?
Because there's like the LP version, which is like this alternative version that's not good.
Then the one that we know from the music video, it doesn't exist.
Yeah, Mike, I'll just say either version will be fine because I'm going to.
This is the Gandharvas?
No, it's not.
But it's close.
It is.
And I want to just I want to even though it's not my jam, this is Cam's,
but I want to preface it by saying it is absolutely
one of my favorite songs of all time.
Holy smokes, this is going to be good.
Here we go!
Here we go!
Saw you looking for a light face painted cigarette white
you asked the cleanest boy double charger bingo i can't believe I just got that. I can't believe I just got that.
See?
If we're in the backyard right now,
we sing this part together, right?
I don't know the song.
Let's make a voice. I'm Rick Goldrass, a picture of the people you've impressed.
Hangs on a wall around here, vision starts to crawl when I'm near.
And the evening waits, while you get caught up to your own mistakes.
Made up of different lines, I wouldn't want to keep in my mind
Oh, I do remember this song now. It's so good, Cam. It is so good.
Tell us about, for example,
why you chose this song.
I'm going to download this song. What's it called?
Well, the name of this song is Red.
Red.
Now, Mike,
you have some redness down there there's a little red blood
absolutely there's a little blood so it all flies together that's quite the reach there's no other
reason no other reason red i assume there'd be some redness after the numb it's of you know
my songs are like almost like they go they're sequential fix you
it's okay Mike we're gonna fix you okay
we're gonna numb the area there's gonna
be some redness okay
we'll see what comes next that makes sense I was about
to get really angry at you but now I'm gonna
I'm gonna let it slide
I think it was Stu
I was like and this is was it
Stu or was it Mike last week
someone did theirs in sequence.
Yeah, I did.
I put mine in sequence.
I invented that, but Mike did it.
But I perfected it last week.
Well, I don't think you perfected it.
I believe it was already perfected.
But yours is more of like a tribute act.
Absolutely.
Okay, so Treble Charger.
Now, again, this is, you know, this is one of the things Pandemic Fridays knows.
I always choose one artist and I do their hometown,
other people from that hometown.
Let's do Treble Charger from Sault Ste. Marie.
The Sault.
Home of the Greyhounds.
Home of these people as well.
A lot of NHL folks, including former Toronto Maple Leaf head coach
and current, I think he still coaches the Winnipeg Jets, Paul Maurice.
Wow.
From current Leafs GM, Kyle Dubas.
Bucks in deep.
Wow.
The two best friends of Frank D'Angelo, and I don't mean Barry Sherman,
Tony and Phil Esposito.
Wow.
Honey, that's a good joke.
This guy, I think, is top five all-time NHL scoring.
Another former Toronto Maple Leaf briefly, Ronnie Francis.
What number do you have him on?
What number did you say he was?
Top ten?
I feel like he's, like, number five all-time scoring.
Like, he just played for so long.
He's way up there.
Can't be top five.
Can he?
He's, like, surprisingly high.
We've got former uh buffalo sabers and i think he coached the islanders head coach ted nolan i'm teddy nolan oh he coached my cousin at
uh i think when he was a sous saint marie greyhound yeah i i feel like he coached against
the leafs in the playoffs like when oh yeah when the sabers took us out in five i think it was that's right uh a few more uh former
governor general david johnston oh and an astronaut roberta bondar that's a big deal
a couple of fotms to round things out we have david amber and we've also got uh was just on
the program for his has been on multiple times, Bob McKenzie.
Wow.
All from Sault Ste. Marie plus Trouble Charger.
And I got to give you props for something before we move on,
that you're absolutely right.
I know you like to hear that.
You don't hear it very often.
But Ron Francis is number five in all-time NHL points.
Yeah, I feel like he might.
I feel like he also might be number one in most games played, too.
So, like, you know, points per game.
But, I mean, a great player, a Hall of Famer.
Didn't he finally win
one with Carolina, or am I imagining that?
Yeah, I think he did in 2005?
Or was that
Glenn Wesley, or was it both? I don't remember.
I just want to say, Jager
did play a couple
more games than Ron Francis.
Did he?
Oh, and so did Marc Messier.
He played more games as well.
Actually, so did Gordie Howe.
So did Gordie Howe.
I do kind of love that early 90s Leafs
when you would just have all these Hall of Famers
came through Toronto to play a cup of coffee.
You had Ron Francis.
You had Phil Housley.
You had Eddie Delfo.
You mean early 2000s you mean
early to that what did I say early
90s I think you said early night well you had some
then to you Grant Fuhrer and Dougie
Gilmore right former
homeowner of the Bob McCown's house
so this song read
I feel like we've
this song has been discussed probably at
some length is it's an awesome song I won't
go into kind of the backstory how the original version appeared on on self-equal title and that was re-recorded
for their big major label right that's the re-recording that i have i find it's just a
little bigger yeah it i'd say it's like much bigger and was it was a bigger hit uh as well
this that's that song went to number 25 on the Canadian Alternative Charts in 2017.
I didn't realize that the re-recorded version was
actually recorded in Boston at Fort Apache.
Do you know what this is? It's like a very famous studio in
Boston. It was also like a famous 1990s compilation
in the vein of
Ultimate 90s or whatever that
one you just mentioned was. Awesome 90s, I think it is.
I think it's Awesome 90s.
It has bands of similar
ilk like Gandarva's.
Killjoy.
I'm having problems here.
There's a very Gandarva's thing happening.
I'm trying to find the songs
on Apple Music here.
And didn't they have like, what was their other song?
It was like, what I live for.
American Psycho.
They had a few big hits.
American Psycho.
What I live for.
There's something called Brand New Low.
Yeah, that's a big one.
That's a big one.
Even Grable.
Yeah, that's a big one. Yeah, Mor one even even grable yeah that's a big one yeah morale i can't see none of these songs are available you can't get them well that we gotta i gotta get who is it greg nori like who do i have to get uh
it used to be called nc-17 according to apple music and i remember reading that now i'm gonna
get this is literally what happened at the kill joys i literally played dana for dana levinson
and she looked at me and said i don't know that song and my mind blew up and i said to myself i gotta
get mike travel cock on toronto mike and i sent a tweet out i said can anyone introduce me to mike
travel cock that day i was chatting with mike and setting up his episode so we need to do this with
was it greg nori is that the guy i gotta find yeah yeah he's actually back in Sault Ste. Marie works for uh I
actually spoke to him for something I'm working on um and had a look a super nice guy I'd never
really crossed paths with him like really nice works for uh I think it's like a college up there
like they have a music program where he's actually like one of the curators he moved like he moved
back to Sault Ste. Marie um and you may recall, he was a big deal
because he managed some 41 and stuff
and was on Much Music.
He had a band type show.
No, you're right.
Yeah.
And I feel like he did some stuff with Avril Lavigne too.
Well, there's the connection with Derek Wibley, right?
Yeah, he was very involved in that whole generation.
If we go back to Evan Grable there, that whole stuff,
like that video, I remember that, didn't it have,
correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't Hayden in that video along with maybe?
He was.
Tell me, was it Ian Blurden?
Who else was in that video?
The other band I remember being in that video
was a band called Radio Blaster,
who never really did much,
but were always the band that would like open for a treble charger at like
Mill Aspen Square or like, you know,
would open for Scratching Post or Len or whoever was kind of kicking around
Toronto at that time. And then, yeah,
it was sort of like a,
almost like a battle of the bands in downtown Toronto and there was like
squeegee kids and uh and uh skateboarders like it was a very sort of queen street in the 90s video
a good sort of snapshot of that moment in time hold on here i think i think here i think i have
the list here i just did some quick yeah there's there's a i don't know if it's still there there
was an incredibly grainy version of that video on youtube for a while um i feel like spooky ruben was maybe in that video
oh yeah yeah um this is not related to what you're talking about but in 1995 they released
self-title which included a cd-rom track promoting 30 of treble charger's favorite canadian indie
bands and in that list of bands that they had on this CD-ROM,
I would love to get my hands on it, The Inbreds,
Change of Heart,
By Divine Right, Hayden,
and Thrush Hermit.
I had this CD.
It would
routinely crash my parents'
computer when I tried to
put it.
This is actually what I was talking to greg nori about i won't go
into too much detail because hopefully you're holding out on me come on in time all will be
revealed but he actually told me of the whole story of the backstory about that cd-rom it's
why i spoke to him dude you and i are cut from the same cloth you me eric bow is uh who else is
in the club we'll put Stu in there
wise guy Ed Conroy is in the club
yeah like I'll have to go back and sort of check
the tape so Greg Norrie was working I think
for like a digital
design company was made
that CD-ROM off the side of his desk I think
he did a lot of this stuff but
yeah actually Stu you might like
this there was another band featured on the CD
why remember this i'm
not sure called paleto that was like a sonic onion band like how what the lesser lights but
i was kind of blown away because their mailing address was actually on willow willow brook
so they're thorn thorn hill band there was like the deepest of uh deep dives there on that uh
yeah he probably was like next door neighbor
maybe he was maybe he's in the band i don't know between uh maybe anyway though we went deep on
this but yeah no but that's really what this is all about because what's the point on like the
lack of treble charger available on my apple music you know what happens the third killjoy's album is
unavailable
so they have three albums
and only the first two
I could find on streaming services.
What was their third album?
It was the one, in fact,
I played a jam
and then he...
You got to hear this episode, by the way.
It never came out.
It came out.
Was it called Adios Amigos or something?
Yeah, it had a Spanish name.
The label was like,
nah, they didn't like it.
Well, they liked it enough
to release it as a CD.
It just never got the streaming release.
But I mean,
we don't even know
who owns this shit anymore.
Mike doesn't even know.
He says sometimes
they just find out
there's a new
Killjoys greatest hits album
and they find out
when we find out,
like,
oh,
look,
there's a new
greatest hits
by the Killjoys.
Like,
they're completely
like have no control
over what happens
to any of their music,
which sucks.
But that third album
had a great jam, which I played
on this episode you're going to listen to. But I found out that
song was actually written by
Mike Treblecock's band before
Killjoys. Wait, what's his name?
Treblecock.
I know.
We should talk about people that have
funny phallic names like
Damien Cox and things like that.
I'd say in some ways, and I don't know if you touch
on this, the Killjoys are sort of like
the Watchmen where, you know, a
favorite CanCon band of our youth
and then their SEO just
goes to shit.
No, we did talk about that. You're right.
They're a good example, both of those bands.
That's like really...
There's also, if you listen to the episode,
Kim, if you actually listen to Toronto Mike shows, you'd know.
There was also a band in Australia with the name.
In the UK.
And they came to kill a joy in North America.
Right.
Okay.
Hey, can I ask you, Stu?
Naturally, I'm curious.
Why the sudden turn that you now actually listen to Toronto Mike?
Like, it sounds like you heard several episodes last week.
What changed?
Well, as I told you, I really
didn't have the time to listen to any...
I wasn't listening to podcasts. It wasn't part of my
routine. So
I'm trying
to turn over a new leaf and trying to listen to some
more podcasts. And yours is the one that I'm
subscribed to. So when I open up the podcast
app, yours is the one that
shows up. Who's that? Who's phony?
Is that Aunt Sandy? Who's calling? That's Aunt Sandy.
Do you want to take it?
I mean, I could just call her
real quick and just sell her. I'll call her right back.
Is that acceptable? Yeah, yeah.
You can mute yourself. Can I start your
song and then you'll just come into your own song?
Yeah, let me just
put this song.
Yeah, yeah. This one goes out to Mike.
Okay, here we go.
Speaking of problematic.
I love this song.
Great pop song, though.
It's gonna feel real good.
Gonna make a difference.
Gonna make it right.
As I turn up the collarbone,
my favorite winter coat.
This wind is blowing my mind.
I see the kids in the street but not enough to eat who am i to be blind pretending not to see them And what then? So they follow each other on the window.
Cause they got nowhere to go.
That's why no one got to know.
I'm starting with the man in the mirror.
I'm asking him to change his ways.
And no message could have been any clever.
If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make a change.
Kudos to Toronto Mike, who wanted to make the world a better place.
He took a look at himself in the mirror and he made the change.
He decided he should not procreate anymore or have the ability to procreate anymore. But he made the change. He decided he should not procreate anymore or have the ability
to procreate anymore.
He made that change and the man in the mirror
agreed with him. You need to cut those balls.
You need to
tie those tubes.
You need to put on that ice patch.
Yeah. You know, during this
lengthy conversation, the ice
block that's in my
garter belt thing. What are they?
Jock strap thing.
Wow.
What do you call that thing that you put the cup into?
It's called a jock strap.
It's also the name of the head.
But you don't call it a garter at all?
Garter holds up your socks.
I think I had
my garter held up my socks and I could put the cup in it.
No.
Well, that was like a combo.
That was like those shorts.
That's like a plus two in one type of thing.
Garter is something that like a bride wears on her thigh or maybe Leva Famke has a garter when she likes to have a little sexy time with Juan.
Anyways, my ice has melted is what I'm telling you all.
Do you need to go do an ice refill?
No, I'm okay.
It's okay.
It's a mild procedure. I don't want to make it sound like I'm suffering from my. Do you need to go do an ice refill? No, I'm okay. It's okay. It's a mild
procedure. I don't want to make it sound like I'm
suffering from my craft here. It's all good.
Please tell us more about this
potentially problematic jam.
I mean, listen, it is what it is.
Michael Jackson, for what it's worth,
probably would have appreciated all this
talk about your procedure.
He may, you know,
he probably, you know,
knowing Mike the way that we do,
maybe he would have been okay with this
and this dedication.
But obviously problematic,
but prolific at the same time.
And let's face it, let's face it.
This is a hell of a pop song.
Like what a jam.
Yeah, really.
There's a bit of a CanCon connection.
Okay.
It was written by Glenn Ballard, who's not Canadian.
I know where you're going with this.
Finish this up.
I know.
No relation to Harold Ballard either.
But Glenn Ballard, of course, he's the reason, well, one of the reasons,
he was part of the magic sauce that made Alanis Morissette a huge star by producing her Jagged Little Pill album, which went on to become one of the Killjoy's favorite albums.
Right, right.
Is that true?
No.
You've got to listen to the episode, Ken.
I love that Stu now listens.
It's like the best thing that's happened.
Yeah, listen, what a song, you know.
You know, one of the other writers,
here's a bit of a fun fact,
Sadiya Garrett.
So it's written by Glenn Ballard and Sadiya Garrett.
Now, Sadiya Garrett is a vocalist
who ends up singing, you know,
with the choir and stuff in the background of the song
when you get there.
But guess what?
We're there now.
You want me to turn it up a bit and then you can?
Sure, sure.
Which is a nice little part of this song, actually,
which sounds really good in the cans right now.
But who is she?
She, you you know there's
a mystery that's about to be unlocked for all of you folks uh listening at home who are big michael
jackson fans uh do you remember the song i just can't stop loving you of course cam are you
familiar with that people used to think beautiful people used to sort of it was sort of a mystery
like is that diana ross like who is that singing with Michael Jackson on that song?
And it's her.
This is the artist that co-wrote Man in the Mirror.
She's the female vocalist on that song.
Any relation to Edna Garrett?
I don't think so.
Possibly.
Maybe through marriage.
Or Brad Garrett from Everybody Loves
Raymond. Song was produced by
Quincy Jones. This was the fourth
single from the
album Bad, which was his seventh
solo album, which that kind of mind
blows. That's a mind blow to me.
I would consider Bad to be his third
solo album.
But I guess there's other albums that we didn't we
don't even know about no good point good point because when i think of michael jackson solo i
also think of bad as his third i think of off the wall then thriller then bad then dangerous then
whatever came after that when i stopped kind of paying attention right but yeah this was his
seventh album that's kind of shocking uh of course, famously, the Bad Music video,
which has nothing to do with this song,
was directed by Martin Scorsese.
But this video was kind of prolific, too.
I don't have notes on it, but I have a memory,
and I have memories of there being sort of like historical footage.
Yes, Gandhi and Martin Luther King and the Ku Klux Klan or whatever.
You know who was in this
video? I don't know if you remember this.
Baby Jessica McClurg.
Is that the girl that fell in the well?
Correct.
She was in there and I remember the part where
it's like, change!
And like an atom bomb went off
in the video. Sort of like stock footage
of like Hiroshima or something.
Yeah.
And of course we know she was saved from the well and she ended up growing up and rebranding as
leave a famka that little dutch girl i i've got a trivia question for you here yes again random and
we we haven't talked about wrestling other than me flashing andre the giant yes jessica mcclurg pinned what
former wwf title holder and like it was sort of like a charity shtick what what i i just remember
this from like an after mag from back but i don't get to guess maybe jessica from the well pinned a
wrestler yeah like that's like they sort of brought her out and like ladies and gentlemen
I'll give you a class it was at
or sorry I'll give you a clue
it was at like the world class whatever that
place the sportatorium
like Kerry Von Erich
yeah it was like either Kerry Von Erich or Kevin
Von Erich there's like a photo
of baby Jessica I'll try to dig it up
pinning like one of the Von Erich boys
wow no word if like his foot was on There's like a photo of baby Jessica McClure. I'll try to dig it up. Pinning like one of the Von Erich boys. Wow.
No word if like his foot was on.
On the rope?
Or just in the dressing room maybe.
Yeah, I could be imagining that,
but I'm pretty sure it's Jessica McClure
like pinning Carrie Von Erich.
Well, there you go.
Michael Jackson, Man in the Mirror, Baby Jessica.
The song, huge smash hit. i don't need to tell you it topped the billboard hot 100 for two weeks becoming michael jackson's
10th number one single well it feels like it was much bigger than just two weeks as number one
because i just remember that song sort of owning the year when it came out big jam and that's kind of his like purple
rain right well i mean he was so prolific it's hard to say like uh he had so many monsters like
when he played the super bowl wasn't this like uh one of the big songs he did yeah i think i think
you're right wow well i'm thinking like heal the, make it a better place. But that all came after.
So I think the way I kind of see it is like the USA for Africa song was the first kind of prolific sort of, you know.
Right.
We are the world.
And then this Man in the Mirror.
Wow.
Listen.
You guys.
Sorry.
Go ahead.
I have nothing.
Go ahead, Cammie.
Sorry. Go ahead. Go ahead, Cammy. Sorry. I was going to say, do you know who
starred in the
TV movie based on the
Jessica McClurg?
Can I guess? I'll guess.
Jessica Simpson?
No, this is
in the late 90s. I don't know if you'll get this.
Bo Bridges was the star
of this movie. Who played Baby Jessica?
Baby Jessica was...
Nobody famous. It's a baby.
Laura and Jennifer Loesch.
Yeah, you have to do twins. That's what I was looking for because it usually
is twins. Yeah, like kind of
Mary-Kate and Ashley,
etc. That's why I was such a
rarity
as a child actor because I didn't have a twin.
So it's like you have to get the performance out of Stu
or else, you know, you're screwed.
So does that work like you just get fewer takes
when you're recording with a kid?
Because it's like we can't work.
Well, not only you can't work, it's like a kid.
They like might not even understand
what the hell is going on.
You got like parents whispering like,
say I love Leva Famke.
And the kid's like
you gotta go again until they get it right still may i say you're very well adjusted for like a
childhood star you would think i mean like i put on a nice a good show for you mike don't check his
freezer is what you're saying the real the real friends of stew stone they know the dark side of
stew stone okay that'll be my next
documentary. Not necessarily a dark side, but
you know. Well, I think
you come across as a fairly well
adjusted adult, considering
a lot of child stars aren't so lucky.
I'm thinking of Dana Plato.
You know, I'm single and I just have
a lot of time to figure
it out by myself. Maybe that's why.
I'm just going to fact check
myself. It was actually Kevin Von Erich.
Thank you for doing that.
I don't think he ever showed up.
Was he ever in WWF? Kevin Von Erich?
I mean, he was inducted
into the Hall of Fame.
Was he really? Kevin Von Erich?
Sure.
I'm kicking out my third jam because you're
too in the weeds there with some wrestling.
I only know that short chunk
of WWF wrestling, so you've got to keep it there.
Oh, by the way, Stu, you left your wrestler
at my house last week.
Oh, really? So do you have it on display?
Not on display,
but I have it because
Jarvis would just take it.
So I just said, hey, that's my friend Stu's.
You can have it if you play with it.
It's in the box with the, yeah,
but it's probably a collector's item or something.
It probably has something.
If it makes the kid like wrestling, then I'm all for it.
Well, he's very susceptible to everything right now.
You could probably brainwash him into being a huge wrestling fan
if you spent like five minutes with the guy.
So next time you're in the backyard when he gives it to you,
you can sell him on wrestling.
But I'm going to sell you guys on my third jam
and I'm dedicating it to
Bingo Bob Ouellette and I'll explain
why in a moment. Thank you. All right.
There's a multitude of reasons.
We're waiting for one.
I don't want to get angry, Mike, but my blood is starting to boil.
Oh, we have a visitor.
Hold on.
I'm going to let in a special guest before I explain that selection here.
Is it Tim?
It is, in fact, the gentleman you know as Tim, who I know better as Ian Service.
Welcome, Ian.
Whoa.
Hey.
He thinks he's Tom Green in the Check the OR video.
Tim, are you wearing
a Phantom Power t-shirt?
That's fucking weird
because we were talking about Phantom Power off the top.
That is weird because we weren't live anywhere.
Unless he's bugged my home.
Wow.
Or Levee Fumka could have told him.
No.
Okay.
So to catch you up, Ian, really quickly,
this is Vasectomy Jams.
And the reason, let me explain myself.
I'm playing The Stopper.
I'm curious, do any of you guys know this song,
The Stopper by Cuddy Ranks?
No.
Stu?
I'm going to let you talk your way out of this
because so far I'm about to cut your other balls off
two reasons for this
two reasons for this
one is the guy's name is literally
Cutty Ranks
okay Cutty is his
name
Cutty
C-U-T-T-Y
there was a Cutty in the wireU-T-T-Y. Wasn't there a Cutty
in The Wire? Yeah, because he came out
of the cut. Cutty Wise is a
great character in The Wire. But this is
Cutty Ranks, pre-Dace The Wire.
So C-U-T-T-Y. So Cutty,
that alone makes it a great vasectomy
jam. But this song is called
The Stopper.
This procedure
is the stopper. I procedure is the stopper.
I can no longer
produce sperm.
I'm okay with this.
I mean, if Stu's going to count down
like man in the mirror. Right, this is better
selection than man in the fucking mirror.
Actually, no, it's not.
It checks out. You're the one
that had your balls cut, so I will be very
sympathetic to you and your awful pick.
But yeah, listen, his name is Cuddy.
You did have your balls cut.
And the song is called The Stopper.
And I understand you put a cork in your wine bottle, so to speak.
Sounds like you dig it.
Okay, now I'm surprised, though.
None of you know this song.
No.
I think Juan, I saw him dancing in the background there.
Can you confirm, does Juan know the song The Stop think Juan, I saw him dancing in the background there. Lieve Fumke, can you confirm
does Juan know the song
The Stopper by Cuddy Ranks?
He knows.
He doesn't know it.
Ian, do you know the song The Stopper by
Cuddy Ranks?
Never heard it.
Okay, so I dedicated it off the top
to Bob Ouellette because one day
maybe about a year ago, I don't
remember anymore. Time is just
an illusion to me now, but he was
kicking out Forgotten Jams
and we kicked this one out because he says
it was big in the early 90s because he was a DJ
and it was a big deal, The Stopper.
And then it disappeared and I
was wondering if any of you guys...
And it took you getting a vasectomy for us to hear
it again.
I think it's a good jam, but you disagree.
No, it is good.
It is good.
I kind of remember the name Cuddy Ranks.
Any relation to Shabba Ranks, or is that just a coincidence?
I think it's just a coincidence.
But yeah, it was around the time Shabba was a pretty big fucking deal himself.
Shabba.
Now, if you would have played Mr. Loverman by Shabba Ranks, that would have been a good pick.
I know that one. Yeah. Flex Time to Have Sexabba Ranks, that would have been a good pick. I know that one.
Yeah.
Flex Time to Have Sex by Mad Cobra.
That would have been a good one.
I love that song.
I really dig that jam.
Next thing you know, we'll be kicking out the...
You and I will go full circle and we'll be kicking out Safe.
Safe, yeah.
My daddy rumbled.
Right.
I still can't find the guy.
He'll track down one of these days.
And then we'll be
told by cam that that's a massive attack sample massive attack that's right and then we'll our
minds will be blown again one thing i know about that right and i know you know that that's how
well i know you okay so let's uh talk about cam's fourth jam and then we'll check in with ian and
just see how he's holding up because we haven't seen that son of a bitch. I don't recognize him without the exposed.
What do you call that?
The fiberglass insolent around.
I mean,
he's got furniture.
He's got stairs.
He's upstairs.
Who let him upstairs?
I thought he was just squatting in an unfinished home this whole time,
but he actually has a,
you know,
he's got a home.
It looks like an expensive home.
Yeah.
He looks like he's maybe went with Sammy Cohen. It looks, you know, he has got a home. It looks like an expensive home. Yeah, he looks like he's maybe
went with Sammy Cohen. You know, he has been
playing the drums a lot better lately. It's possible.
Ian, did you take up Sammy
Cohen on his free drum lesson?
I haven't yet. I think
I should. Yeah, you should.
So how are you doing? We want to hear from you for a moment, Ian.
It's been a long time because we moved it
to the backyard, so you would jump on Zoom
and you'd be all alone
because no one else would be here
but how the hell are you doing?
I'm great, how about you guys?
I think we're good
I think as you know I put on the COVID-19
Cam lost the COVID-19
Mike doesn't have his balls anymore
and Leva Femp is showing her
well you gotta watch that though
you have to go for a follow up test
it's not immediate.
I know. I was well...
I was instructed in 12 weeks.
I'm making sure. I even have my rec form.
I had to go for two.
You also had a vasectomy. He's half the man he used to be.
So do you...
So these jams can be dedicated to you as well.
So you too had like a pinch and a tug.
Actually, no. I got knocked out.
I was like, forget that. Oh, I i was like forget that oh i didn't get
the option i didn't oh no i went i went i went and i they they knocked me right out and i yeah
it was great you didn't have to deal with any of that like you know i don't want to be awake while
you're dealing with it oh what a what a wussy holy smokes okay sounds like he could probably
like it's probably a good sleep like getting knocked out at like the doctor that's probably
like a good sleep but then someone has to drive the dick doctor. That's probably a good sleep.
But then someone has to drive you home, right?
I was in Oakville and Monica was working.
I didn't want to worry about the wages.
Mike drove his bike there.
I wanted to.
I mapped it.
It was an hour each way, but apparently I'm not allowed to bike for seven days,
so I couldn't bike back.
Don't overdo it, though.
Yeah, I'm going to be careful for a few days. Good to see you.
We're right in the
thick of things here. In fact, this is going to be
Cam Gordon's fourth
vasectomy jam. Do you want to set it up or do you want
me to just kick it? No. Like I said, these
are all in order.
This is just
to summarize. We had fix you.
Your balls got numb.
Then red. They're a little red.
Let's see what comes next in that process.
Good one.
Very good. you saw, saw Captain Mr. Know-It-All, close your eyes and I'll kiss you, cause with the birds I'll
share, with the birds I'll share this lonely view, and with the birds I'll share this lonely view,
and push me up against the wall, young Kentucky girl in a push-up bra. I'm falling all over myself to lift your heart and taste your health.
Cause with the birth of Shad, it's a lonely view.
With the birth of Shad, it's a lonely view.
With the birth of Shad, It's a lonely view
Scar tissue.
Like the red hot chili peppers.
Mike, did they warn you?
Is there going to be a scar tissue?
Any sort of damage to your area?
We should ask...
Any damage to your red hot chili pepper?
I don't anticipate any issues of that nature.
Under the bridge, you know?
Very good.
We should be asking Ian Service who had it done,
but I don't anticipate any scar tissue issues.
No.
You have a scar on your balls, Tim?
No.
Give it away.
Give it away.
Give it away now.
All good.
All good.
It's all good.
Yeah, so there you go.
But just in case, you're right.
This is a great selection.
Also, this is like the comeback Chili Pepper song, right?
This is the...
Yeah, this is...
Mike, something that you'll never get back.
He gave it away full time.
It sounds like Ian had to do it multiple times.
So his boys were such good swimmers.
They said, fuck this.
We can get around this. He had like Michael Phelps in his nutsack. Wow boys were such good swimmers. They said, fuck this. We can get around this.
He had Michael Phelps in his nutsack.
Wow, he's a real man.
Wow.
Ian, how many kids do you have?
Just the two.
You're sure?
You were sure about this?
You were done at two?
Oh, yeah.
I didn't want to call Sammy Cone to i didn't want to call sammy
cohen for bigger house okay all right just to confirm like you you guys didn't go down to the
the what the sperm bank or get some extra tupperware just to keep some stuff frozen
you guys have any like swanson's frozen dinners any uh palma pasta Any poma pasta? No comment. No comment.
No?
Okay.
This song, I mean, this is a big hit.
I mean, this was a number, top 10 hit in the U.S., went to number nine.
Even better in Canada, where it went to number four.
It's got that guy from Back in the Future playing bass, right?
Huh? The guy who plays bass in the song, he's from Back to the Future playing bass, right? Huh?
The guy who plays bass in the song?
He's from Back to the Future.
Was he in Back to the Future?
He was.
He was one of Biff's goons.
There you go.
He's also the guy from Young MC.
That's right.
With the stuffed animal pants.
Yeah, he's on the Young MC Jam, the big one.
Well, that's a good segue.
We talked about the video for this song.
You might recall it was kind of the Red Hot Chili Peppers
driving through a desert in a convertible.
They all have head bandages.
The same director, this name is not familiar with me,
but this guy is like a big deal.
Stefan Sadnui directed this video,
also did a shitload
of other videos in the 90s including uh there's a bunch here i'll including today by the smashing
pumpkins was also in the desert and uh mysterious ways by youtube that this guy also dated both
bjork and kylie minogue. And they end up, yeah,
you end up marrying,
I don't know how you say her name,
Latita Casta.
It was like a swimsuit model.
I feel like she was like one of the mainstays of like the sports.
Was she a swimsuit model in the chin picnic?
She probably got her start there.
I think Kylie Minogue and Bjork would be,
Minogue and Bjork would be very different people.
I just suspect that's two different
ends of a spectrum.
That's a lot of range for sure.
Absolutely.
He also directed videos for
Garbage, Tricky, the aforementioned
Bjork, Fiona Apple.
He also directed the video for
Alanis Morissette, Ironic.
That's a big one. She was driving around in the back of a car.
Wow, a lot of driving around in cars.
And that brings us back to Glenn Ballard.
Yeah, he certainly
has a thing.
Absolutely. And then Scar Tissue
is also famously the name of
Anthony Kiedis'
biography. What a life.
Where he talks about all his sort of sex and drugs
and rock and roll stories,
named after this Red Hot Chili Peppers song
and named after something that is not on testicles
or on scrotums after this procedure.
But I threw it out anyway.
I kind of like this song.
Because I never named it.
It's Bust a Move.
That is the big Young MC jam. Of course.
Something that Mike will no longer really be able
to do.
Bust a Something. Okay. Good choice.
I like Scar Tissue as a song
and it makes sense in this
wonderful, wonderful episode. So
now, Stu Stone, what would you
like to say before your fourth jam?
Well, I'd like to say that this actually was a dedication from Mike Balls.
Mike Balls actually contacted me and said, like, make sure that we have some say in what Mike has done to us and how we feel after this procedure has done.
We didn't have any say in this.
You know, Mike has sort of forced his hand, so to
speak, the doctor's hand.
And we've
got to now, we're fucked.
And so this is actually
directly from Mike's balls.
So let's just
play it. pieces this is my last resort suffocation no breathing don't give a fuck if i cut my arm bleeding
this is my last resort
cut my life into pieces i reached my last resort suffocation no breathing
don't give a fuck if i cut my arm bleeding do you even care if i die bleeding I'm losing my sight, losing my mind Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Losing my sight, losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine You guys familiar with Papa Roach? Sure, of course. Yeah.
You know, this song is interesting for a lot of reasons.
Obviously, it is about a very serious subject matter,
but for the sake of this, we could take some, you know, make it more fun.
But I was kind of shocked to learn, Cam,
that this song first appeared in pop culture on a soundtrack in a movie in the year 2000.
In the year 2000.
In the year 2000.
And I don't think that you would really believe me if I told you where we were first introduced to this song.
Like what movie?
An American Pie?
Ready to Rumble.
Oh, with Biff Naked.
The WCW movie with David Arquette.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
With David Arquette, sure.
And he later won the big strap.
He did.
He did.
Wow.
So, yeah.
How about that?
According to the band, the song is influenced by hip-hop music.
The Fugees and Wu-Tang Clan are cited as the influence for the song.
Although the song does not actually feature a piano,
the song was written on a piano.
I'm Alan Cross.
Technical production by Rob Johnston. The bass player wrote the song on the piano.
That's another one of those bass player jams.
They wrote that riff, and then they sort of turned it into a guitar riff.
And, quote, simple pocket grooves. I was playing something on the piano and Jacoby came in and started scatting over it.
We just did our typical mixing
of a funky kind of hip-hop groove
with a punk rock chorus
and that song just came together like that.
Woo!
It's a great song.
It's a great song.
But there's another excellence.
Went on to be a huge, huge hit
which they didn't expect.
The Much Music version of the video
had an edit
where the word fuck is completely removed with no replacement.
Whereas in MTV, the word is just cut or bleeped out.
Papa Roach has gone on to sell more than 20 million albums worldwide, which is kind of shocking to me.
But last resort, a big hit.
They also had a song called Scars.
I was going to say, that would have been a great song too for this week.
So there you go.
That's Cut My Life Into Pieces, which Mike did to his dick.
Or his balls, I guess.
I think every other week I remind you guys that I saw Papa Roach open for Eminem,
who opened for Limp Bizkit in 2000.
Limp Bizkit is another band we could have used to describe
your current status.
I hope not.
I don't know. I hope that's not true.
That would be devastating. Ian, tell me that's not true.
Well, according to Sass Jordan.
Right. Dr. Sass.
And Levee's laughing over there
because she thinks that's...
She knows.
That's inevitable.
I'm glad you play. is laughing over there because she thinks that's... She knows. That's inevitable. Okay.
I'm glad you play. You don't hear Papa Roach that much anymore.
At one point, they had the lead song
for Monday Night Raw. They were the
Monday Night Raw theme. Do you remember
what song was She Loves Me Not?
Whoa, I'll never give in.
Whoa, I just
want to be, want to be that.
Wow.
So this is actually maybe the fourth pick.
Yeah, I feel like...
Go ahead, Cam.
No, I was just going to say, I feel like this band
is actually sneaky
still popular.
Sneaky successful. 20 million records.
Yeah, that's nothing to sneeze at.
They didn't even show up until 2000.
That was really right at the end of
the CD era when people
stopped buying albums. That's pretty
significant. I don't know.
Good point. Good point because Napster
is coming in and you're right.
You're right. They're sneaky popular. I think that's a good
way to put it. I think maybe
the Juggalos dig it or something. I't know yeah anyway i just slipped you some some news from
twitter i just saw this as a scrolling strangely just as uh stewards mentioning mike's uh below
the belt region about uh some graphic content and dm i guess it looks like we're not gonna
allow some of that oh so because because that's going to ruin everything.
I can no longer send dick pics via DM.
Okay, so interesting.
Well, this little scoop, as per this tweet,
she was the same one, Mike, you may recall,
was the one who discovered that Periscope was...
I wonder who's the person that can develop the AI, I guess,
or whatever it is that can detect that a photo is a penis.
Right.
Yeah, I don't know.
Interesting.
Interesting time.
I wish I knew.
Yeah.
I guess there's probably been unsolicited dick pics received via DM.
It's one of the risks when you open your DMs.
Isn't that how Juan and
Leif have met?
That's not how you guys met?
That is how they met.
How did you guys meet? Do you mind telling us?
Lava Life.
Oh, Lava Life. That's pretty much it.
When it was
not like
chat line or sex line.
Is that what it is now? That's what it is now. Is it really? Like not like chat line or sex line when it was.
Is that what it is now?
That is, that's what it is now.
Is it really?
Does it just be a place to sort of have like mature sort of conversations?
Yes. Like Tinder.
Yeah. I had Bruce Croxon in my backyard this summer.
Isn't he the Lava Life guy?
Yeah.
Okay. He made a lot of money on that.
Here's a fun fact.
We won't say where it is because it's not published even though everyone on the call i think has been there but the lava life
headquarters was across the street from where twitter canada headquarters is different building
but same corner in downtown toronto gotta keep that a secret i understand okay of course so i'm
gonna kick out my fourth jam and i'm just looking at everybody's jams. I think everybody's fourth jams.
Do you think that I should go on Lava Life?
Like, is that a recommendation?
I mean, could I find my own one?
Aren't you going to go on J-Day?
I could.
I mean, that's...
Is that a...
Stu, may I ask...
That's a pretty specific thing, though.
But can I ask, do you care, Stu, if you end up...
If you fall in love with a Jewish woman or a Gentile?
I don't think love has boundaries, Mike.
I think love is love.
You find the person or the thing that you love, and then that's what it is, right?
Cam found MF somehow.
Anything's possible, Mike.
So you don't care what religion.
Love is a drug.
You don't care what religion.
Yeah, love is a drug.
We all know the Verve song.
You don't care what religion. Love is a drug. You don't care what religion. Yeah, love is a drug. We all know the Verve song. You don't care what religion a woman is.
You care about her personality.
You know, Mike did quote a great song.
I don't care who you are, where you're from, what you do,
as long as you love me. Beautiful girl, lovely dress
High school smiles, oh yes
Beautiful girl, lovely dress
Where she is now I can only guess
Cause it's gone, daddy gone
Love is gone, it's gone, daddy gone Love is gone, it's gone
Daddy gone, love is gone
It's gone, daddy gone
Love is gone, it's gone
Daddy gone, love is gone
Away
So many things I want to say
Firstly, I was aching to kick
Literally aching actually right now
But aching to kick out of Violent Femmes Jam
because I consider this band way ahead of its time.
Who wants to guess what year this song, Gone Daddy Gone, was released?
Just guess.
82.
Yeah, I was going to say 82, 83.
Okay, so you're right.
It's from, I think, 1983.
But doesn't it sound...
It has more...
I think it's sort of a
trick question here because we're used to hearing sort of the diy production sounds on the early
on the other violent femmes like hits that kind of sound like they're recorded you know on a four
track in a bathroom and this sounds like it was recorded and mixed in a studio so maybe that's
the thing that's kind of fooling you it just feels like it's kind of like a precursor to that early 90s alt-rock that we all love.
Like, it just feels like it's much closer to that.
Right, exactly.
They're from Guelph, right?
Are they from Guelph?
Because that's where Ian...
Yeah, London, I think.
Oh, I thought they were from Guelph.
Okay, because Ian's in Guelph, I think, right now.
So shout out to Ian's service.
But this jam, I chose it
because the song
is great, but
it's also called Gone Daddy Gone.
And there's a sentiment there
I thought might be appropriate because
it's like, there is that feeling of
turning off the taps.
Like, you know, that's it.
Gone Daddy Gone.
No more fathering for you like you're
shutting it off for good so gone daddy gone but the love is gone um you know what i always think
is interesting with the violent femmes i i find them very hard to categorize like obviously
they're sort of in the bucket of like alternative rock but to your point mike given
the that their heyday was kind of the 80s like they're they're not really like rem and they're
not really like other guitar bands i just popped on spotify to see you know that if you like this
you might like this band right you know who the number one band can i guess i'm gonna say uh the
pixies uh no that's a good guess.
They're actually the fourth band
on this list. Okay, what is it?
The top
four are the Meat Puppets,
the Breeders,
the Replacements,
and the Pixies.
And then we got Soul Coughing,
we got Lemonheads, Ween.
They might be giants.
That might actually be closest.
I kind of think that they're sort of like a punk rock, alt rock.
They're not punk rock, but compared to other alt rock acts,
they're sort of punk rock.
Yeah.
I think they were always sort of like their shtick was like acoustic punk rock.
They're sort of like FU, you know, CK.
Yeah.
Right.
Well, this was the first. So this was the first single that they ever put out, Gone Daddy Gone in 1983.
This is the very first one.
You know, a lot of, they have a lot of big hits, of course, American music.
And yeah, I think it's an underrated band though like an influential you know add it up
I think I don't know how many times we've kicked we must have kicked out a few by this at this
point uh we've had a few uh has have any of us seen the Violent Femmes play shows I feel like
they also hate I think we talked about this they hate each other I think like they tour in spite of
personal differences did we kick out of what i feel
like it's kind of like pandemic friday like you know it's the 40th week we all hate each other
but you know we pull it together to do this i think when we kicked out the swearing jams the
effing jams i might have kicked out add it up yeah maybe that's what i did so uh i also played
blister in the sun for like warm weather jams. Right.
That's a great jam too, man.
Oh, man.
I think it's a great band and Gone Daddy Gone.
And again, big cover of that.
It was a big hit recently or fairly recently with Narls Barkley.
That's right.
So shout out to Narls.
Okay.
Someone was trying to call me.
Someone was trying to call me and I took a picture of us in Zoom and I said,
I can't answer the phone text only. I'm in a Zoom. And he thought I was lying.
So I took a picture of the Zoom and he wrote back, Jamie Lee Curtis?
Oh, is that Levi Fumka? Is Jamie Lee Curtis? Wow. That's a compliment, Levi. Or Ian.
I think he's talking about Ian.
Ian looks like he's been eating Activia yogurt to keep himself regular.
Okay. Yeah, he does. He looks healthy. Hey, holy smokes. But leave it.
You do look a bit like a young Jamie Lee Curtis.
Well, that's sort of what happens to you when you get fixed, Mike,
when you have your pets spayed and neutered, as you and Ian have had.
You know, the blood stops flowing to downstairs
and starts flowing elsewhere, and you look healthy.
You have a healthy sort of glow.
Your hormones kind of...
So let me tell you my fear,
because Sash Jordan put this in my mind.
I can't get it out now, and it's too late now.
I did the procedure this morning.
But Ian, your hair looks like it's starting to thin.
Like, did that happen after?
Am I wrong? Doesn't his hair
look a little wispy?
What kind of thing is that to say?
Bring your hair closer to the camera
and bend over a little bit.
Oh, you know what?
I'm just saying that, Mike. I hope that it happens to you.
I don't want to lose my hair.
I'm pretty sure this was destined to
occur.
So, if equals like zero testosterone
you're going to start growing
yeah I'm going to
yes that's exactly what's going to happen here
okay we'll find out I'll report back every week
and tell you if there's any development there
final jam time I'm excited
side effect of having we've just witnessed
the side effect of
having a vasectomy is you become you, you know, instead of having balls, you become a complete asshole.
What did I say?
Ian, did I offend you?
It's rude.
It's just, you know, there's a certain sort of, you know, rule, an unwritten rule.
I'm sorry.
Ian, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to offend you.
I just wondered.
It's like, oh, you got a real punch there, you fat fuck.
Like, come on, we don't talk to each other
it looks like you lost a few inches
downstairs
my vision's not very good
I can't even see this little zoom
picture of you I'm sorry buddy
hey pizza face 30 minutes are free
you know
we don't talk to each other
like this on this podcast
when was the last time somebody...
Do you talk to Dana Levinson?
No.
When was the last time somebody called somebody
with pimples Pizza Face in the wild?
When was the last time that happened?
When did we see Jeff Eason last?
Did he use that?
Pizza Face, I feel like a Revenge of the Nerds era.
Okay.
Cam, do you want to say anything before your fifth jam?
I feel terrible now that I've hurt Ian's service's feelings.
Ian, tell us if you're okay.
Are you offended?
He's cool.
You won't let it go.
You're making it worse.
Fucking throw the shovel away, Mike,
and just move on to the next song.
Okay, I have a brief intro.
Mike, do you know this song?
No. No, okay. I only know two songs by this guy i only know two songs by the way my friend i said that it actually is jamie
lee curtis and he's like wait that's actually jamie lee curtis so that's cool wow good stuff
thank you uh ian
all right uh what are we gonna say about this jam, Mr.
Just play it.
Stu's going to fucking hate this.
I don't think Stu will.
I don't think Stu will. My dad ain't work construction
My brother too
He got me in the union
I'm paying my dues
But the woman I love has expensive taste
She's never satisfied
The latest things A diamond ring Love has expensive taste. She's never satisfied.
The latest things, a diamond ring, a car with an ultra glide.
I work so hard and for all that stuff.
Eight shifts a week,'s never enough I'm laying pipe all night long
Laying pipe
I'm working so hard
It's like laying pipe all night long
Wow.
Laying pipe
by Canadian blues rock legend
David Wilcox.
Does anyone
know this song?
I remember vaguely the laying pipe part of it.
I remember
Do the Bearcat and a couple
of those kind of jams.
Riverboat Fantasy.
So this is from
an album David Wilcox put out
in 1987 called Breakfast at
the Circus.
The video for this song has some like some of the best YouTube comments ever. Just talk about how lame David Wilcox looks.
They got his clothes at Zellers and stuff. This song is ostensibly sort of a blue collar anthem
about, you know, trades people and... Lame pipe. Yeah, but it's obviously innuendo about penises and having sex laying...
Thank you.
Laying pipe all night long, working so hard.
My back hurts to please that woman.
So a lot of certain...
Things Mike won't be able to do anymore now that he's...
Well, no, no.
It sounds like in about seven days
he'll be back laying pipe.
Seven days I can lay pipe.
With the beautiful Monica, hopefully.
Hopefully.
And yeah, like, again, like,
I just thought, you know, some...
I don't know.
I don't know why I chose this song, to be honest.
I think I just like laying...
This song was actually a hit in Canada.
It went to number 62.
I bet you Q107 played the hell out of this.
I bet they still do, maybe.
I don't know how I missed it.
I feel like, you know, not that I would know,
but I feel like if you go to a male strip club,
they probably play this song,
and some guy comes out with a tool belt and a big hammer
and sort of shakes his penis around. Yeah, sort of. strip club, they probably play this song and some guy comes out with a tool belt and a big hammer and
sort of shakes his penis around.
Yeah, sort of.
Yeah, kind of like
a village people...
This might be a new weekly thing where I pick a secret word.
Did I hear that in The Stopper
by Cuddy Ranks? I heard that horn.
Yes, that was a different reason.
So, okay, let's use this as a segue to another sort of
i want to hear more about laying pipe but what do you mean laying pipe is he like uh
he's working on developments building developments he's a i mean the video shows just a lot of people
working like steel factories and like you know sort of northern ont Ontario. I mean, David Wilcox has probably played more shows
at like rib fests and kind of
small town theaters than
most other artists
in this country. Does he play Lane Pipe?
Lane Pipe is like
the closer. He just opens
for Kim Mitchell everywhere, right?
Yeah.
He's also a dead ringer at this point for
John Levy. Do you know who who that is the guy who runs the score
are you talking about Mark Levy
Eugene Levy's brother
is that who that is
David Wilcox
is one joins the Watchmen
and some other artists
Canadian artists who have some tour dates
coming up is actually playing
in Norfolk, Connecticut, March 21st.
Should we rent a Sprinter van?
That seems ambitious.
Probably not a good idea.
Also has a date in Ottawa.
He's booked to play the Bronson Centre Theatre,
September 4th, 2021.
Small chance that could happen.
Small chance.
Yeah, so this is going to be my question for you guys.
And I feel like we talked about this maybe a little last week.
Are we going to be seeing any indoor rock music next fall?
I know Sammy was tweeting that the Watchmen have some dates
in the calendars.
Are we going to see any indoor rock music in this country in 2021?
I think you will, yes. I think if enough people
are vaccinated, you might have to show that you have
a vaccination card to enter these
types of places. Yeah, immunity passport.
Which I like that idea.
It's like your immunity passport
and you show it and it lets you do things
and then those are the people, unless you have
a medical excuse, you can't do it.
You can also get the microchip just implanted so they can just scan you
that you, you know. Well,, you can't do it. You can also get the microchip just implanted so they can just scan you.
Well, that's what the vaccine is.
Isn't that why Bill Gates developed it?
Absolutely.
Did you guys see this? I think it was on BlogTO.
It's suggesting some Toronto restaurants are checking IDs
to make sure you're a local resident.
Yeah, I did see that. That's for the
out-of-town places. I think
you can go to Niagara Falls and go in a restaurant or something,
but it's like people are coming from Toronto.
They're just making the drive on the QEW there,
and they don't want people coming from these COVID-infested hotspots.
Well, that's something that you're not going to have to worry about anymore.
I wouldn't eat inside a restaurant right now if you paid me.
I would do a patio.
$30,000 would you eat inside of a restaurant?
Oh, that's, that's not be silly. Like a cash up front.
And then we'll talk about the terms, but yes.
So don't make comments like that. I mean,
ever since that you got your balls cut, you have really, you know,
am I wrong, Kim?
I'm getting sort of an alt-right vibe too. I'll be honest.
You can be talking about, you know, the kind of,
I saw this thing on OANN or whatever.
Listen, Stu Stone, listen to my words.
He got his balls cut and now he's become a dick and an asshole.
You know, Ben Shapiro, he has some interesting...
Listen to me now, hear me later, okay?
I had a major medical procedure this morning.
I was advised by my doctor to do nothing for the remainder of the day.
He said, don't do anything. Just rest.
Instead, I'm spending almost
three hours working.
I'm working right now, hosting this podcast.
You're laying pipe.
Cut me some slack, Jack.
You already cut some slack earlier in the day.
On that note, can I kick out your jam?
Who, mine?
Isn't it your turn? I've got to set this up.
Okay.
You had a nurse, right, that you mentioned today?
A helpful nurse.
I don't know if she was a nurse, but she was a helpful young woman, yes.
Do you remember her name?
No.
Because I do.
Her name was Cheryl.
Did you know that?
No, I don't know if that's true or not.
Stay with me here.
Okay, I'm with you.
Stay with me here.
Her name may have been Cheryl, correct?
It might have been, yeah.
Now that I think about it.
So, you know, Cheryl reached out to me,
and she had known about some of the other songs
that we were going to pick here today,
and there was a song that she really liked so much.
She basically wanted to provide people like you and tim who've gone through this
already uh you know for people who haven't gone through you know because i know that you
broadcasted that you had a vasectomy and you had a blog entry about it sort of detailing that it's
okay guys you know it's okay it's not too painful She sort of recorded this song that sort of recanted the instructions that she gave you
before the procedure.
You follow what I'm saying here?
I do.
So this nurse, Cheryl, recorded herself singing this song, and it's sort of her giving you
the instructions and sort of telling you what you can expect from this procedure.
So go ahead and play Nurse Cheryl.
I would have given you all of my heart.
But there's someone
who's torn it apart
And he's taken
just all that I had
But if you wanna
try to love again
Baby, I'll try
to love again, but I know
The first cut is the deepest
Baby, I know
The first cut is the deepest
But when it comes to being the deepest
I literally, Mike, I was tempted just to do all five of my picks just to be the first cut as the deepest songs.
I was going to do that.
And then, you know, obviously I had to call an audible at the line once you went with one of the versions.
Right.
But let's talk about this one for a second.
And we will blow some minds here.
I know Liva Famke is dying to know what is going on here.
I'm going to explain it to her right now.
The nurse Cheryl is actually Cheryl Crow.
You're familiar with the name Cheryl Crow?
Wow, in Oakville at this vasectomy clinic.
Cheryl Crow, amazing.
Look at that pizza.
Some pizzaville.
It was a rainy day in pizzaville.
Mike doesn't have to worry about dialing 1-800-FREE-SEX-FREE-SEX anymore.
Right. Mike doesn't have to worry about dialing 1-800-FREE-SEX-FREE-SEX anymore right the first cut is the deepest
Sheryl Crow wrote this song
all the way to the charts
and became one of her biggest radio hits
this is number 14 on the Billboard Hot 100
her first top
I slipped
oh my goodness
I hope the doctor didn't slip
followed up
her single
Picture
with Kid Rock
if you remember that song
of course
this song stayed
in the Hot 100
for 36 weeks
eventually hit number one
I like Picture
by the way
I don't care
I'm talking about
this song
the first cut is the deepest
I know I like Picture
go ahead
Cheryl Crow
we already have covered her in the past, I think.
But for those that are unfamiliar, she has songs like All I Want to Do is Have Some Fun.
Strong Enough.
If It Makes You Happy, It Can't Be That Bad.
Every Day is a Winding Road.
My Favorite Mistake, I kind of remember.
Picture with Kid Rock.
I Want to Soak Up the Sun.
She's got a lot of hits.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Of course, before she became a famous singer,
she was 10 feet from stardom, I guess.
Is that the word?
Six feet?
20 feet?
Was it 20 feet?
20 feet from stardom?
Maybe 10 feet.
I don't know.
With one of the artists we heard earlier in my countdown,
Michael Jackson famously had Sheryl Crow as a backup vocalist during his Bad Tour from 1987 to 89.
So two years.
Wow.
She toured with Michael Jackson singing Man on the Mirror as well.
The song I Just Can't Stop Loving You, which we found out who the real singer was.
Sheryl Crow is the one who sang it with him on that tour.
Wow.
Is that kind of cool. Is that true?
It is true.
She also has known back then,
she was a studio background vocalist for Stevie Wonder,
Belinda Carlisle, Jimmy Buffett, Don Henley.
Wow.
Boys of Summer.
So Sheryl Crow.
Did you mention my favorite Sheryl?
Don Henley is also known as the drummer from the Eagles. Right. Did you mention my favorite Sheryl Crow. Did you mention my favorite Sheryl? She's also known as the drummer from the Eagles.
Right.
Did you mention my favorite Sheryl Crow song?
I don't think you did.
Leaving Las Vegas.
Leaving Las Vegas.
I didn't mention that one, but that's a good one too.
Yeah.
And so there you go.
But listen, as much as we love Sheryl Crow,
let's give a couple of mind blows that aren't really mind blows,
but here's a,
this would be if the nurse was in broad, right?
Ironically rod is just below the rod is where you had the procedure done.
Listen to Rod.
Wow.
Might be the best version.
I like the Keith Hampshire version.
How old is Rod Stewart these days? The first cut is the deepest Baby, I know
The first cut is the deepest
You know the version,
Leave a Fam Cut?
Did you know that Rod Stewart
at least,
is this blowing your mind a little bit?
Yeah, see?
That's good.
He's 75 years young, Rod Stewart.
And he sounded like he was 85 years old
at this point when he was singing.
His vocals have this sort of old man vibe to it, but it's charming.
Rod Stewart recorded this song in Alabama in the United States.
It appeared on his 1976 album, A Night on the Town.
It was released as a double A-side single with a song called I Don't Want to Talk About It,
also known in Canada as I Don't Want to Talk About It.
Very good.
It was a huge success.
This version of the song,
the first cut is the divas spent four weeks at number
one in the UK and
number 11 in April in Canada
of that year, 77. I wasn't
born yet. Cam was born.
Yeah, Stu wasn't born until
1980. That's what I saw on Wiki.
I saw that.
It reached number 21 in the United States.
So a bigger hit in Canada than the United States.
The song kind of came back again in 93 when Rod Stewart did MTV Unplugged and did a version of this.
And that's all I sort of remember about it.
But there you go.
Rod Stewart singing the first cut is the divas and who's the what was the artist you did that you had uh playing the song
mike keith hampshire keith hampshire the guy from okay blue jays right right uh of course uh the
original version was done for a guy called pp ar. Arnold? Is that right?
The original version is not this one? The original version is by P.P. Arnold, but it was written by...
Are you playing it right now?
Yeah.
It's the real version right here for Leva.
Is this Cat Cast Feud?
Yes.
It's a good version of Cue Yes Yeah.
Yeah. That kind of sounds like you're keeping up to date.
Yeah, you know, a lot of people don't realize this,
but the first cut is the deepest.
I mean, that's got to go down on, you know, at least like a top something of songs that were successfully covered so many times.
That could be a whole episode of Pandemic Fridays.
Songs that have been successfully covered over and over again.
Because you have Cat Stevens, you have Hampshire, you have Rod Stewart, you have Sheryl Crow, all hitting the charts with the same song.
That's not bad. We should
kick out jams that have been
top 40 hits
by three different artists.
Three artists at least.
Yeah, listen,
as far as your balls are concerned,
I wanted to make sure that I got one
last...
Of course, I've got to do a mind blow.
You probably wouldn't feel
the blow at this moment, right? You're pretty numb
down there.
But, you know, I'm very proud of you, Mike.
You've done a really good thing for your
wife and you've
done a really good thing for society as a whole.
And if more men were
brave like you,
they too would get the old snip snip on the old ball strings.
The most reliable form of birth control.
Yeah.
Congratulations, Mike.
Real proud of you.
And as I said at the beginning of the show,
you know,
this is the first episode
that you were freezing knowing your balls
because Cam and I have been very chilly
the last month of doing these shows.
So, congratulations.
Good luck. Let us know how it goes
in 12 weeks. And if you need
help with the emptying process,
Cam will be there for you.
You know, it'll feel like some strange...
Oh, I'll wear a mask. He'll be safe.
He'll wear a baklava mask.
Yeah. Maybe in 12 weeks we'll be vaccinated. Who wear a baklava mask yeah maybe in 12 weeks
we'll be vaccinated
who knows
maybe podcasters
go to the front of the line
I don't know yet
you are an essential worker
yeah
you ain't never stopped
yeah I still have a jam to go
and if we don't play this jam
there'll be riots
in the street
are you ready
for my final jam
yes Jam? Yes.
Problematic jam?
Mildly.
Says the guy who kicked out Michael Jackson.
I have this image of him sitting in in scenes like carving an apple with like a pocket knife in this video in black and white am I crazy
here I'll bring it down so I can hear you better but uh you know I like to play loud and proud at
the beginning but uh I think that's...
Sorry, go ahead.
No, I mean, no, I was just listening.
But Big Jam, like, are you kidding me?
What a monster jam Cuts Like a Knife was for Bryan Adams.
And I know he's said some problematic things lately,
but still one of those Canadian artists,
especially for us guys from the 80s.
This song came out in 83 as well.
So it's kind of interesting to think that this song
and Gone Daddy Gone were like released at the same time.
It's interesting.
That seems like a totally different universe.
It just feels like they're from different decades.
Like this song to me is very 80s
and Gone Daddy Gone could have been 90s.
But okay.
So do you guys remember
like like i mean we're all similar vintage i have a couple years on you but uh these the string of
hits from brian adams on canadian uh top 40 radio was something special you know brian adams and
jim valance uh teaming up i mean do you guys remember like your first Brian Adams song?
Like,
do you have any memories?
It would have been the first one for me.
I had MTV as a kid.
Uh,
my dad had a satellite dish.
So we had the American channels and I remembered this video.
And then of course,
heaven and run to you.
And yeah,
a whole,
that one with the,
I need somebody,
somebody like you.
Right.
Uh,
and he had one with Tina Turner.
It's only love.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Just, I don't even know what would have been the first i feel like uh all for love everything i do i do for you
yeah well those are later but yeah the uh like the run to you you mentioned that was the empty
uh swimming pool right i thought that was cuts like a knife oh maybe they're
bleeding together like a knife is like swimming pool and him carving an apple with a knife.
Okay, okay, okay.
So, okay.
So the straight from the heart.
It sort of happened to you today.
You had your apple carved with a knife.
So to speak.
Now, he had a bunch of singles that are forgettable in the late 70s.
I think I talked about this with Mark Weisblatt.
Like, he had, like, disco stuff.
Like, Let Me Take You Dancing and stuff.
I did not know that.
Mind blown. If you would have played me that, I would have been
mind blown. Well, I could play it for you in a minute.
The first big album we all know is
Cuts Like a Knife. That's the name of the album.
The first single was Straight From the Heart
which is a great jam. That's a good song too.
Yeah, and then Cuts Like a Knife
is on that.
I'm Ready is on that.
Then the next album is called Reckless.
And this one's just a giant album.
It's got Run To You, Somebody, Heaven.
Summer of 69 is on this one.
Oh, Summer of 69.
How did I forget that one?
I know.
Don't bury the lead there.
But just massive.
I mean, this guy kind of owned the 80s.
And then in the 90s, again, he's got Everything I Do, I Do It For You,
which was a number one smash everywhere.
And then Can't Stop This Thing We Started.
And honestly, Thought I Died and Gone to Heaven.
There will never be another day.
Have you ever really loved a woman?
Please believe me, I can't stop loving you.
And we just played Rod Stewart, All For Love,
remember, with Sting and Rod Stewart?
Yeah.
Yeah, have you ever really loved a woman?
I'm me, there's pain I'm going through.
Please forgive me.
Can't stop loving you.
Keep going, buddy.
That's fucking great.
Fucking great.
It's only a set of pipes.
I promised I'd shout someone out really quick.
T.O. Resident on Twitter saw that we were doing vasectomy jams,
and he said we should be kicking out a Chumbawumba song.
I only know one Chumbawumba song.
I don't know about you guys.
But I did pull it because T.O. Resident is a good chap on Twitter.
It's called Snip, Snip, Snip.
And I don't think any of us know this song,
but I'll be shocked if Ian's got it on his iPod or something here.
Ian's not here anymore.
He left when you made fun of him.
I feel bad.
He's thin as skin.
Cyberbullet.
So, I won't play too much of it,
but this is Chumbawamba's
Snip Snip Snip.
I love that song.
Shout out to T.O.ip, Snip, Snip. I love that song. You said nobody.
Shout out to T.O. Resident, and thank you for that.
And guys, here's what we're going to do. First of all, thank you for being here.
I do much prefer it in person,
but I'd rather do it on Zoom than not do it at all.
That's something you're going to have to get used to,
not doing it at all.
Seven days.
I can make it seven days, I think.
Thanks for doing this but
here if you don't mind uh I'll play us out here and then uh hang on because I want us to record
a very short little video for a very special FOTM who's uh turning 65 years young next week
and this video will be played for him on some special
Zoom party that's happening for him.
We're recording that in post.
Is it Brian Master?
Good guess. I think he's a little
older than that actually. I think he's
in his 70s actually.
Brian Master? I guess that would make sense.
I think so.
We're Sammy Cone
people around here now.
Sammy at Sammy Cone.com.
But thanks for doing this guys.
That was a lot of fun as usual.
Yeah.
Good topic.
Yeah.
That was a lot of fun.
And thanks for getting your balls snipped for real.
I know we've been breaking your balls metaphorically.
Obviously we can't do it for real.
Uh,
cause you don't have any,
but we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we,
we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, Can't do it for real because you don't have any. But we have had a lot of fun breaking those balls back when you had them
and kicking you in the balls often for your terrible picks.
40 weeks in a row.
You know, 40 weeks.
This is the 40th Pandemic Friday.
And listen, you turn 40 and things change.
You get your balls fixed.
Probably maybe you got a finger or thumb up the tuchus at the examination.
I'm not sure.
No, yeah, that's 50, I think.
Oh, that's 50.
Okay.
Something to look forward to.
Best of luck with your new nuts.
And that brings us...
And that...
And that...
And that...
And that brings us to the end of our 773rd show.
You can follow me on Twitter.
I'm at Toronto Mike.
Stu is at Stu Stone.
Cam is at Cam underscore Gordon.
Our friends at Great Lakes Brewery are at Great Lakes Beer.
Palma Pasta is at Palma Pasta.
Sticker U is at Sticker U.
CDN Technologies are at CDN Technologies. Sammy Cohn
is at Sammy Cohn. And Ridley
Funeral Home, they're at Ridley FH.
See you all
next week.
And that's...
...
...
...
...
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