Tosh Show - My D.C. Insider - Amber Macdonald

Episode Date: January 14, 2025

Daniel works on his messaging with former White House speechwriter Amber Macdonald as they discuss growing up in a cult, professional clowning, and presidential addresses.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together our mission on the Really No Really podcast is to get the true answers to life's Baffling questions like why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor What's in the Museum of Failure and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer go to really no really calm and register to win $500 a guest spot on our podcast or a limited edition sign Jason Bobblehead the really no really podcast follow us on the I heart radio app Apple Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. The forces shaping markets and the economy are often hiding behind a blur of numbers. So that's why we created The Big Take from Bloomberg podcasts to give you the context you need to make sense of it all. Every day in just 15 minutes, we dive into one global business story that matters. You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine.

A lot of this meme stock stuff is I think embarrassing to the SEC. Follow The Big Take podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen. What's the craziest thing you've ever written that actually made it into a speech? Where you were just like, oh, let's just see if I can get this in there. Nothing ever. Or get them to say, Baba booey. They won't do that. Tosh Show.

Tosh Show. Tosh Show. Hey guys, it's me. Believe it or not, this is what Daniel Tosh normally looks like. Like a hungover Andrew Luck. Like a even gayer Abraham Lincoln. Like an Amish who's lost his way. Welcome to Tosh Show.

Guys, I've been in the mountains. This is my first day back. And, I've been in the mountains. This is my first day back. And I'll clean up before the interview, but I want to just see me raw. Never been able to grow a proper beard. It's not good. Eddie, what do you think of it?

It's looking pretty, I don't know. Yeah, it's not. It never really gets to that big, huge burly. I don't think you let it go that far. You should try it for a year. It just gets more and more pubic hairy. Oh, yeah. to that big huge burly... I don't think you let it go that far. You should try it for a year. It just gets more and more pubic hairy. Oh, yeah.

Well anyway, you know, it's good to be back. I'm excited to shave. What'd I miss? Happy New Year. Happy New Year to you. Glad to have you back. Woo! How was your Christmas? It was good. Austin, Texas with the family. I had a great Christmas. We all got RSV. Oh, nice.

Yeah, my wife's brother came, just sick as could be, got all of us infected immediately. And then they left. And then we had like two weeks alone of just snodding and coughing. It was lovely. Just your head feels like it's going to explode every night when you're trying to lay down.

Kids screaming. Just a head feels like it's gonna explode every night when you're trying to lay down. Mm-hmm. Kids screaming. Mm. Just a magical time of year. No, I did have a good time. You know, I want to say this. What I think I now, because of this show, believe it or not, I just love Christmas so much. Because every time I opened a gift that someone gave me, I was just so excited. I was like, oh, I'm giving this away. Yeah, there you gave me, I was just so excited. I was like, oh, I'm giving this away.

Yeah, there you go. And I was just watching people fume. Now I like to read a text from my father. He sent me this, what does it say? Back in August. By the way, as we close in on our octogenarianism, they're turning 80, octogenarianism. We have decided to shut down birthday and Christmas gifting. We are quite out of step of what is in

or even appropriate anymore. A well-wished text will assure each of our family members of our never waning love and concern. But this does not preclude my purchase of a model car for my grandson that somehow catches my eye. Okay so Scrooge McDuck there says no more gift-giving doesn't want to receive anything doesn't want to give anything and now I you know I didn't let that go I reach out to them. Hey, what's going on Grinches? and my mom

Flat-out says it she goes I watch you give away stuff on the show You just make fun of everybody that gives you something. You don't need anything So we're not giving you anything Kind of like it I her. I love it. Yeah, I love it. It finally worked. The whole point of this. Stop giving me things.

It worked. Speaking of gifts, my alma mater, UCF Central Florida Knights in Orlando, Florida, they get football. Great Scott Frost. He's back. Last time he was the coach of the UCF Knights,

they were undefeated. Now then he went on to his alma mater in Nebraska and just laid a big turd. Four years of it. I have to admit, I said a lot of nasty things about when he left. I was like, stay, you've got things cooking at a school that'll give you everything.

And, you know, he's like, no, I gotta go. This is my destiny. I was a quarterback here, you know, in the 80s when Nebraska mattered. Late 90s. All right, 90s, whenever. Now, am I worried that Scott Frost, who is given this second chance, this opportunity to redeem his deplorable behavior,

to coach this powerhouse football program is going to leave again? I am. I am. And I understand that. Listen, when I went to UCF I graduated a semester early. Why? Because I wanted to get out of there. I can relate. I just don't want it to happen. I want you to stay there, do us proud, and win it all. Anyway, ah ah any resolutions this year. Nope. I wasn't positive of what compilation garbage John was gonna pump out during the break, but I I saw that we did the the the poop story montage

Well, let me tell you something, you know, I say every year my New Year's resolution is not poop myself I didn't make it. It was so early in the year so early. Here's what happened. I'm in Tahoe I go to my favorite cake-ery Okay, yeah, it's not called a bakery Pete it's's called a cake or it's his favorite one Pete My favorite cake or each at sugar pine Allison is the owner and her husband. I know Brett. I believe they're both. They're both wonderful people I go in there and they've got so many good things They got a banana cinnamon bread that I love always get get a slice of that. Their cookies look perfect,

so I always have to grab a couple of those. And this is breakfast. You know, I'm getting the biscuit sandwich. Right. I'm getting the eggs. But this day I decide, well, I'll get a hot chocolate as well. Along with all those, I also had a donut. It doesn't matter, guys, it's a cake-ery.

You got a problem. That's not a problem, it's called breakfast. And when you're in the mountains, you need a cake-ery. You got a problem. That's not a problem. It's called breakfast. And when you're in the mountains, you need a lot to survive. You do, you gotta fuel up. Well, we always get the breakfast and then we park at this little park around the bend. And you take a hike through the woods.

There's a little gnome door. My son loves to open it up. He brings a toy every time and leaves it. You're supposed to take a toy, leave a toy. We just give a toy every time. Some kids just leave rocks in there. That's that's bullshit. And then they take my kid's good toy that he leaves. But whatever. We say hi to the gnomes. And then we there's a picnic table on the lake and we eat. We eat our breakfast. It's just magical. It's just a routine. Well anyway halfway through this walk

Let me say something else when I'm holding my daughter Her knee is going into my stomach and if my stomach is remotely suspect at the time that it's just putting pressure For me to get everything out. Yeah, you understand? Sure. This walk is maybe three-quarters of a mile about a You understand? Sure. This walk is maybe three quarters of a mile. About a hundred yards in, I tell my wife, how great is this? I said something to the effect of,

what a wonderful morning. And then I said, hey, oh, I don't know if I can do this. And she's like, what? I go, yeah, I gotta go back. She's like, where are you going? I go, I don't know. So I just took my daughter and I start walking back. I go, you guys go to the gnome door,

let my son put his toy in there so he doesn't freak out and I start walking back. I go, you guys go to the gnome door, let my son put his toy in there so he doesn't freak out and then just hurry back. Well, anyway, they're going. I make it maybe 25 steps the other direction. And I'm like, oh no, it's here. I start yelling for my wife to come back. She's not.

I start walking into the woods a little deeper. There's snow, a foot or two on the ground. I Set my daughter down Stand her up. She immediately falls start screaming can't deal with that now pull my pants down and and go to the bathroom and it's like Molten lava through the snow it fires through the snow my wife I see my wife come back and she because she's just following the sounds of her screaming daughter Who's sitting in the snow? She's not she's not hurt. There's just sitting there watching her dad

Uh, you know bathroom anyway self into the woods. She sees me she's mortified. She picks up My little angel and I'm like, oh and then I use snow to wipe by the way great wiper Mmm, great way you can it's it's easy. Anyway, we go back we get back in the car. I'm like sorry about that guys Hey everybody, sorry about No, here's the thing Did I actually break my resolution? I say no and Here's why if a man is walking through the woods and says to his wife Oh my goodness, honey

I need to pee and then walks into the woods and peas and comes back. Nobody's like, oh my goodness Can you believe what he did? Yeah, right. So I did the same thing, but mine was the other Yeah, mine was violent diarrhea and and my wife's like, yeah But the difference is if you told that person they can't pee they wouldn't just start peeing all over themselves And I'm like, oh, okay Maybe I accept maybe I accept that is the difference when I got back to the car I was like, well, I might as well just do a courtesy wipe with one of my kids wet wipes You know from their little diaper bag. And as I did that, I looked up and there were two people walking toward my car from the

trail that might have just seen me put my hands down my pants and wipe. But I'm not sure they did. I'm not sure. If you're out there and you saw that, my apologies, I didn't even look before I went for the extra, you know, clean wipe. They wouldn't recognize me. I got, you know, I got my beard. I tell you what I should do.

If I shave this and then just this bottom part, I look like one of those guys that hates America. But that's not true. I love this country. Okay? And so does my guest today. Enjoy. entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the shows, correspondents, and contributors. And with extended interviews

and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together. On the Really No Lily podcast.

Our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like. Why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you and the one bringing back the wooly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's gonna drop by. Mr. Brian Cranston is with us today.

Hello my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really No Really, sir. Bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening?

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-♪ We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness, and we want this to stop. Wow. Very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart

of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a playboy model. Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please. Because at the center of this murky world is an alleged predator. You know who he is because of his pattern of behavior? He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it.

He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in. It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him. Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRad Heart Radio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. My guest today is a political speechwriter whose words have either moved you or made you say fuck that shit. It really is a country of widely differing opinions. made you say fuck that shit. It really is a country of widely differing opinions. She can spend boring zoning ordinance issues into poetry about the battle for

America's soul. And if you thought the ineffective speeches at the Democratic National Convention went on too long, you can blame her for it. That said, please welcome Amber. Thank you very much. How you holding up? Things are, they have been better, I would say. I mean, anger, furious. Where are you this time around? Resigned. Like, we knew this was a possibility. I was not as heartbroken and shocked.

I mean, heartbroken, yes, but not as shocked or unprepared as 2016, of course. When I hear people say, insiders, tell me, oh, that we knew all along that she couldn't win. I get so enraged. I'm like, well, you know what would have been nice for the American economy? If they told the rest of them. Tip us off on that and save us all a billion dollars of donations.

I mean, I think that's such a... It's so easy to just be like, oh, DC consultants, insiders. It's not a person. There are many different people in DC with various opinions. Of course, some people thought she couldn't win. Many people thought she could win. This is one of those things where if she had won, we would have all said,

obviously, obviously she would have won. It was such a slam dunk. I mean, I just can't see myself. Listen, I had Obama. That was in my lifetime. I'm thankful for it. I was at a good age for it. Move me. I don't think I'm ever gonna let myself get

this vested. Fall in love. It's just too much for my soul. I can't handle it. I feel like maybe like Rock the Vote kind of broke us all and made us feel like voting was this like magical identity thing and what it actually is is as AOC says like a chess move it we are we are trying to move things forward we are

doing our best you know we push we've gotten a lot of really important things done Obama got things done Joe Biden got a lot of really important things done and now we're gonna get pushed back and you just have to keep you just have to keep going you don't have to fall in love every time, you just do your work. No, I haven't fallen in love. I haven't fallen in love love. Honey, I don't know what to do.

I'm sick of shit. I know that you liked tarot cards, so I'm actually afraid to ask this. Do you believe in ghosts? I know, I'm also afraid to answer this. Do you believe in ghosts? I lean toward, I lean toward now, but I might believe in ghosts also. I wish that was on the ballot.

I don't think... I lean toward... I don't like to take, like, a hard stance on things, like, because I don't know, you don't have to see or prove things just to make them real. I have a very differing opinion. Really? Do you? Sure.

What did the tarot cards say about coming on to my show? I did not do a reading for it. I have a very differing opinion. Really? Do you? Sure. What did the tarot cards say about coming onto my show? I did not do a reading for it. I know I should have. Do you believe in ghost writing? As a ghost writer, I do believe that you can do it and they exist. You ever write for the wrong side?

No. Could you? I think so? No. See, I've written jokes for comics that I don't agree with. I think their style of comedy is just garbage. I have worked for people who believe

things that I don't really agree with and maybe I've made a pitch or I've said, like, yeah, sure, I can make that argument. But there's like a line for me that if I don't I can't I can't write a speech about I'm very pro-choice I could never write a speech that's like here's why we should ban abortion like that would just be I don't want to do that that's just not that's not who I am well you don't have to thankfully it's going to be banned so I apologize for all of your rights.

Can you take responsibility please? I'll take some responsibility sure. Great thank you. I'm a single issue voter. What is it? Abortion. That's your one issue? Yes. Great love that. I just whatever whatever gets me to like they can do whatever they want that's that's where I vote down the ballot. Great. But man is, has it come back to bite me. Well that's why people always, it always gets me mad when people, like if I say, oh I can't wait to check in on these MAGA fools in four years and be like, oh how much better is your life?

And some of their rebuttals. Do you check in on them? I regularly check in. My whole family are MAGA. I've got so many connections I regularly have to go in and be like, what's Brad Bardon up to? I have similar family members as well, but they like to push back Oh, well, let's see how worse your life is. And to that I'm always like, you care so much about women's reproductive rights.

You live in California. They're not going to be affected there. And I'm like, well, yes, they're probably not going to be that affected here. But that's not what I'm voting for. I'm voting for the 17-year-old girl in Arkansas. Well, and they could be affected here in various, various ways. Well, we'll take care of it here. Yeah. Okay. We'll figure it out. California's gonna figure, oh, I swear.

One of these days, I'm just gonna, I'm gonna take my whole state with me. We're moving to Cabo. California to Cabo. All right, one could argue that you and I, we're both raised, and Christian Colt said, if we wanna, I don't know if we wanna use that word, but yours sounds way more culty.

It probably was. Talk about what your childhood was like. There's like different phases. So I remember, my first memories were we lived on a commune in Indiana with like a farm, a working farm. How many people is this? I mean, the cult itself was international.

I don't wanna brag, but it was like the second largest cult for a while. Oh. I know, I know. What was number one, Scientology? Yeah, yes, I think. Oh, all right. Oh, I could be wrong.

No, I think that's right. We were, whatchamacallit, what's the one where you can't dance or you burn in hell? Baptist? No, what was the movie? Footloose. Footloose. We were Footloose.

Okay. That was our world. Okay, go on. We lived in a commune, I don't know, maybe, I'm too young to remember how many people are there, but 200 maybe more? I don't know. Not thousands, but got it.

No, no, no. And it was an old, like a convent. It used to be a convent and they bought it. Just creepy. Super creepy. And we had like dorms. And so we lived in like a dorm, which I think the weirdest part that I just learned recently, like in the last month,

that my parents would work on the farm during the day and then they would go to Bible class at night for like hours. And I was like, what did you do with me, the baby? And they're like, oh, we just left you in the room. And like somebody would walk up and down the hallways just to make sure the babies were OK. And I was like, you, we just left you in the room. And somebody would walk up and down the hallways just to make sure the babies were okay.

And I was like, you left babies alone? Anyway. It was a different time. It was the 80s. They didn't actually care about babies. This is when America was great. That's back, we're all trying to get back there. What year are we trying to get back to again?

I always forget. Is it the 80s? 80s, 60s, 20s, I don't know. I have a theory about that too. What is it? You ever go to talk to a friend of yours that never left your hometown? And then when they like, oh, this place sucks now, it used to be so much better.

They're the ones that have the revisionist history. Oh yeah. That people that like never go on to anything else. Because they were in high school and they had like a great time. Right. And so they remember making out at the drive-in. Those are the people that all of those people are the ones that things used to be better.

That's who just won the election. Yes, exactly. But you're still cool with Christianity. I'm back, back into Christianity. Do we wanna talk about the name of the cult or is that? Yeah, yeah, it's called the Way International. The Way International. The Way.

And they're still around? So I follow them on Instagram. What's the name of the cold, or is that? Yeah, yeah, it's called The Way International. The Way International. The Way. And they're still around? So, I follow them on Instagram. Sure you do. I like to keep up with like what's- Do they post ass shots? No. Oh.

But what's interesting is they were like big for a minute, and then they got sued by like tons of women for, you know, rape and sexual assault, like as happens. Yep. It kind of fell apart, and then they started and sexual assault, like, as happens. Yep. It kind of fell apart, and then they started, they kind of like are coming back. And now they're, they're like revisionist. Like, if you go to their Wikipedia, everything about all the scandals are gone.

Like, they have edited it. And now they're just like Instagram full of like happy people at camp, like singing songs and doing aerobics. What's the one that, that God hates fags church? Westboro Baptist. Here's why I honestly have some, don't take this out of context. All right.

Where I can accept them. Okay. I like that they have a hard line. Okay, I don't disagree with you, that I appreciate people who are consistent. Right, these churches that just keep kind of evolving, we're okay with, we love gay people. Oh, well I go to a church now that loves gay people.

Well right, it's because they all want money. So they just keep opening their arms up. That's not true, that's not true. Oh, come on. No, no, no, no, no. Every mega church in this country should not be tax exempt. Dana Tosh, I's not true. Oh, come on. No, no, no, no, no. Every mega church in this country should not be tax exempt. David Tosh, I should not have to tell you

that Jesus says nothing about gay people in the Bible. There's not a single verse, and you should know that. What about Sodom and Gomorrah? Sodom and Gomorrah, okay, that's an angel that comes and is like, excuse me, can I go rape your guest? Wasn't there a bunch of man-on-man stuff going on and it just sickened the Lord? No, I would argue that what sickened the Lord

was someone who showed up at a door and was like, hey man, can I rape your angel gas? And they were like, no. Well, that's, you don't want to, but back to this mega church stuff. Mega church, okay, yeah, that's a, all of those should be taxed. That is money driven.

Yes, I mean, I can't, that's like a complicated, but yes, I don't know that I disagree with you. Mm-hmm. Oh. Yeah. I'm getting heated already. By the way, your parents, strict religion, strict didn't stay married. I know. That's how we got kicked out of the cult.

Oh, that- They kicked us out. That boots you if you get divorced. They, we got- When did they get divorced? Excommunicated when I was six. So they like deployed us. Why did you make them break up?

I don't know, I really wanted an interesting life and I was like you two being happy. Which one of them was more vested into the church? My mom, I'd say is much more religious. She is still very, very deeply religious and my dad now is like a little more open and casual. Like we're still, they're still Christian, but like. How long did it take you to un-brainwash?

I guess when I went to college, I was sort of like, oh, I have to rethink some of this stuff. And it was gradual. Part of the whole idea of the way was like, question everything, question all authority, because they don't believe that other churches have it right, they're very anti-Trinity. That's every religion.

Yeah, no, exactly. Every religion believes we're right and everyone else is wrong. 100%. 100%. But part of their thing was like, everyone else is wrong and only our little group is right. And I think that instilled in me this skepticism of everything. And so then I was like, oh oh wait, what if this is wrong?

And then I started to kind of move away. Did they believe that everyone else burns in hell? No, actually hilariously, they believe everyone who isn't Christian burns in hell. But very hilariously to me, they believe if you accept Christ into your heart and you're baptized and all that stuff, you go to heaven. But they also believe most Christians are wrong.

So their fix for that is that in heaven we're all gonna have jobs. And if you don't follow our path, then you're gonna have a really shitty job like being a bone-picker. God damn it. Are you telling me that I'm gonna have a bad job? Yes. Because I've been baptized and I've accepted them. Right, so you'll go to heaven then. Thank you. But when God burns the earth and it's full of dead corpses, you're gonna be the ones picking up bones,

which I think is the funniest way to punish people. I've always been told too that heaven, there's gonna be, when I've asked these questions as a child, like, so all of my Jewish friends are gonna burn in hell? So all of, every Buddhist burns in hell? Why can't we definitively say, why won't you say that? Like, my son-

I think they do. No, no, my Sunday school teacher, like, wouldn't say it. Oh really? My Sunday school teacher would. Well yeah. They were happy to tell you guys. But they always would say that there's gonna be more people in heaven than there will be in hell. Well there's like a second chance.

When Jesus comes back. Yeah, when Jesus comes back, there's a second chance to like sign up. Oh I'm sorry about that. Ooh, my Jesus comes back. Oh, if he comes back, I'll, I'll, There's a second chance to like sign up. Whoa, I'm sorry about that. Ooh, my bad. I was way off. Yeah, yeah, so you just do it in the second chance. I'm starting to love the way.

I don't know what their dues are, but it's gotta be cheaper than the Soho house. Ooh, I don't think it's cheaper. They were very communist for a while. You had to give them all their money and then they would dole it back out. I'm not gonna do that. All right, you studied English in college

and then moved to LA to pursue acting. I studied English and theater. Okay, I didn't know about the theater. Yeah. Nah, it's good. Wow, who's your research team? Well, just Dylan. How long were you out in LA?

Seven years. Did you enjoy Los Angeles? Yes, I love LA. I could never live here again, but I love it. Don't say you could never live here. I don't think I could. You might have to when we separate. No, I'll go to the East Coast.

I like the weather better. So you move out here to pursue acting. Was it, did you say, did it run its course? Did you lose interest? Did you like, oh, I'm not gonna? Well, I was very poor. That's what you're supposed to be when you move here. I know, I know you were, yeah.

It just was, I mean, I did a bunch of things. It was very fun. I did like stand up for a little while. I did improv for many years. Lovely time community. I was a clown. I did lots of fun stuff. I just, no one was ever gonna pay me.

So I just had to, you know, like make money. I mean, my theory on show business is that if you just don't quit, eventually, eventually, Something will happen. You'll get like A commercial. My theory on show business is that if you just don't quit, eventually, eventually, you'll get like a paycheck. A paycheck, yeah. I don't know if it's gonna be a great paycheck, but if you never quit.

I think you're right, you're probably right. I just, yeah. It just waits for people to quit. That's what show business does. I do think, like, I'm a big fan of abandoning your dream. Like, at some point you're just like, oh hey maybe this dream sucks and isn't for me and it turned out like I was so defeated and I felt so

miserable and sad and worthless all the time and I felt like oh maybe I'm just like a bad person who can't do anything and then I started to get into um politics and everyone was like oh you're amazing and I was like oh what I'm good at something. It turns out. So I just needed a different, you know. And that's way more important in the scheme of things. Do you believe? Do I? No, I don't.

Good, because it's not. The real important job is comedian. I think that is. No, it's not either. I'm a big believer that my job is embarrassing. Embarrassing? Yes, when I think of like actual stand up, I'm gonna go make people laugh.

Oh yeah. It's ridiculous. Yeah, well that's, I, yeah. Mm-hmm, I agree. I do not put any self-importance on this. You actually had a clown service business? Yes, sadly. Okay, let's go ahead and put the,

right there when she said it didn't go anywhere, put the sad clown noise right there. Are most democratic speech writers former clowns? No. I might be the only one. What was your clown experience? Oh man, I mean, it was like the worst and the best. And I really, I say clown, but I was,

I don't wanna, I don't wanna impress you too much, but I was a princess. You don't wanna toot your own nose? Yeah, I say clown, but I was, I don't want to, I don't want to impress you too much, but I was a princess. You don't want to toot your own nose? Yeah, I was a princess. Um, I would dress up mostly as like Belle and Cinderella and the Little Mermaid. And I would just show up and five-year-olds just adored me.

And I would do magic and like balloon animals and balloon sculpting. Oh, so you weren't a clown at all. I was a clown, yeah. Bubbles the Clown was my name. I did, I did clowns all. I was a clown, yeah. Bubbles the Clown was my name. I did clowns. But you were a princess.

I did both, because I mean, you've probably hired something for your child's party, maybe. How did you transition completely from L.A. broken dream to speechwriter? I started, I was just doing like a lot of like volunteer work for Planned Parenthood. Mm-hmm.

And. Murders. Sorry. No. I started like, I don't know, volunteering. I was like, oh, maybe this is a thing. And so I like showed up. Actually the Democratic Party of the San Fernando Valley is like kind of a big power player.

And so I showed up to the campaign headquarters and I was like, put me to work and I volunteered for a campaign and I would like work during the day and come at night to like run their phone bank. And they gave me an award for the best volunteer. And then I got, from there I got a job with Bob Blumenfield who's a council member now in LA but he was an assembly member. And it was like, I got paid like $27,000 a year to like go to council meetings and be like Bob Blumenfield cares about the potholes. And I was like what could be better than this? Like I was so happy. I love it. I love it when people are happy about what they do.

Where do I go from here? And then I was like, oh, but I can't do like, I can't do policy. I'm not like smart enough for that. And I'm not like a comms. I don't want to talk to reporters. And then I was like, oh, I used to write plays. I'm not smart enough for that. And I'm not a comms. I don't want to talk to reporters. And then I was like, oh, I used to write plays. I'm a playwright. And I was like, oh, speech writing is just playwriting for one person. So I just begged Bob to let me write his speeches

when he was here in the district. And I remember the first one I did, it was a five minute speech and I poured over it. And it was so, I tried so hard and I gave it to him and he went to the event and he read one line that I had written and nothing else and I was like. Was that a gut punch? No, I was thrilled.

You were thrilled. I was like, this is the greatest day of my life. Like, it just was so, again, I was so broken from like auditioning and like one of the last auditions I did, I'm sure you are familiar with these, but one of the last auditions I did, I'm sure you are familiar with these, but one of the last auditions I did, they lined us all up and they were like, just do the chicken dance with no music. And it was just like a line of people being like, and it was the most humiliating thing. So coming from that to

like someone read something I wrote just felt like high. I mean, I've never, regardless if I landed a spot or not, there was never an audition that I thought, oh, that was worth it because I got it. No, no, no, no. I was, I was, and I, I mean, I did, you know, a fraction of what my peers

were doing. I wouldn't audition. I was just like, no. One time I went for an Apple One, a huge campaign, and it was, sure enough, it was like, yeah, start dancing and walking and dancing. And I'm like, uh, and I think, I don't know if I actually did it. I think I might have just got up and left. Yeah.

I went to an Apple One once and they were like, you're perfect for this. We would hire you on the spot, but Steve Jobs has to make the call. And just like for an hour, just like told me how amazing I was and then I never heard from them. And it was just that where it's like, you're great.

Steve probably died. It's probably what happened. Most campaigns have no budget for speech writers, but they'll hire you and put you under some like a different title. Is that true or no? Or if they don't have money for a speechwriter, they'll be like, no, no, we'll still hire you, but you have to do other things?

No, no, no, no, no. No, I, most Hill offices, most congressional offices don't have budgets for speechwriters. So the Senate has more money per office. House members don't have much of a budget, so they only get like 10 staffers, or depending on who they are, they get maybe more. But most Hill offices won't have speech writers

because they're just like, you have a comms director and maybe a press secretary and that's it. Are you always looking for work? No, I don't want to work. No, I do want to work. I love working. Hire me. But do people come to you? Is that? No. I don't want to work. No, I do want to work. I love working. Hire me.

But do people come to you? Is that where you're at now? Yeah. So I left the White House a year ago, and now I help people. I write speeches. I do trainings. I do narrative development. This is all, sorry if it's boring, but yeah, I help people find their voice in various

different ways, and they hire me for nonprofits or for-profits, some politicians still. You lead with jokes still? Is that still? Sometimes, yeah. I don't know. Do you put swear words in any of your speeches? Have I ever? Yes, but not generally. No, people are still fairly anti-swear words. Just be cool. I am.

A little blue speech. Yeah. Oh, this one's edgy. Here we go. What's the craziest thing you've ever written that actually made it into a speech? Or you were just like, oh, let's just see if I can get this in there. Nothing ever. Or get them to say, Baba booey.

They won't do that. I know. That's not that example. I had some really creative speeches that I was like, oh, this is so good. And then of course I gave it to the person. They were like, oh, this is so good. And then of course I gave it to the person. They were like, oh, thanks. Maybe not. Yeah, do you ever watch them take your speech

and do this to it? Yeah, yeah. I mean, editing is like a big part of the process. Well, because like in a writer's room on a television show, writers, if the room is a good room, they can fight for their. Oh, yeah. So do you get to fight for your words?

Oh, that all the time. That's like half of what I did at the White House was just like... I think of myself when I'm in that room, I do think of myself as like the noble artist defending the human language. Every speech is like there are 15 lawyers who want to put in like eight different clauses and not say one but like achieved a positive outcome or like all the different things that people want to change

and I am always like it is my sacred duty to defend like the message and the voice and to make this sound like something anyone could understand. So I got into a lot of fights of just, I mean that's, that was like half my role, it's just like, this word. Do you play tricks? Like I know a lot of writers will be like,

oh I know I'm not getting this in, but that'll at least make me get this in. Yeah, like make it really extreme and then be like, I guess I'll just tone it down a little bit, and that's what I really wanted. Do you think AI is gonna steal some of your work? I am worried about AI ruining the next generation.

I'm not worried about me so much. I'm amazing, very talented. But you get to this place by doing a lot of, like, inane work, and that is what AI can do, but you have to do it. You've gotta write a bunch of dumb talking points and figure out what reporters are responding to and write the first draft, and then have someone rip it up

and tear it to shreds and tell you why you suck. And if AI is doing that, then there's just a generation of new writers who don't get that experience. And that's what I'm really worried about. How much of being a speechwriter is rewriting the same speech? Oh, a lot. Is that what you do?

You just give it a little refresh? Oh, you mean the same speech? I don't know, in general. It depends, it depends. Do you have stuff on file that you're like, oh, this works again? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but some people want the same speech

over and over and over. Some people like Dr. Biden never, like she likes different stuff. So we would do new speeches all the time. It was a lot of new speeches. And sometimes you like pull like, oh, that's a good story, put it over here. It's like a puzzle that you're putting together.

But it just depends on the person. Everyone's kind of different. By the way, speech writers make tons of money, true or false? Do you think it's false? No. No. It doesn't matter how high up the...

I mean, they're different. Yes, there are some speech writers who make lots of money. Like White House speech writers don't make money. Do you get credit? No. Well... Always or never? I'm sorry.

Never. I am publicly,? I'm sorry. Never. I am publicly, like I was Dr. Biden's speech writer. I, that is public knowledge. You could Google me and. Do you like to say Dr. Biden just to infuriate the right? Yes. Dr. Biden. Be honest as a speech writer,

how nerve wracking is it to watch Joe Biden deliver a speech or answer a simple question? I love Joe. I love him too. It is not as nerve wracking as standing with his teleprompter when he's speaking and watching. Because we would always, you know, we did a lot of events together and so like like his sweet writer and I would always be like together at the teleprompter and I would just be like Because they have to go like oh god. Oh god. He's jumping up. He's jumping forward and like, you know, he

Here's reading a teleprompter is a skill. Oh, yeah, it's a real skill and it takes practice I did a show for 13 years off a prompter. It's hard and what's also a real skill is the teleprompter operator. And you need to have a magical connection with that person that knows when you're off book, they know, oh, well, you basically hit this note, let's get you to the next spot. And you can always tell when it's like, that relationship's garbage right there.

I mean, that's why, say what you want about Trump, and I hope it's like, that relationship's garbage right there. Yeah. They're all, I mean, that's why, I mean, say what you want about Trump and I hope it's bad stuff. But the fact that, is anyone writing for him? I mean, he had speech writers or he has speech writers, but does he use, I imagine they are just sort of like giving him like cues. The nonsense, to read what his teleprompter would say, I would just be fascinated.

I would love, I would love to. Did you see at one of the Republican rallies, they had the teleprompter up, I think it was Carrie Wake, and they were like, get off stage, Trump is waiting. And I was like, oh, that's what we need. Like for the, you know, the pre-show people who are like, it's my turn to talk. I hate everything that the Democratic Party does right now great just they're just

Shambles how dare you all of you guys I take full responsibility That's all me But that's what happens. Yeah, I say this right now because I'm on the heels of Four years and then at the end of four years. I'm gonna be all. Yeah, you're gonna be all in. I just got a text. They hear me. I just got a text from so-and-so who worked under so-and-so,

and they said this, we're good, we're good. We're gonna crush it. Don't worry. I should just go back. I gotta start screen grabbing all the bullshit that I heard. But that's the thing, everyone gets to be, everyone just gets to look back and be like, I knew the whole time.

Like, no one knows. No one knows, and it's always gonna be close. It's always gonna be close. So weird that we're like that. That like, this country has 50% of people that think this way and 50% that think that. It just seems like it might not be real. Maybe I'm gonna start dealing with, believing what's his that. It just seems like it might not be real.

Maybe I'm gonna start dealing with believing what's his name. That dumb football player. What? Aaron Rodgers. Wait, what does he say? I don't know, he's a conspiracy nut. Oh, don't do that.

Yeah, I'm not a conspiracy nut. You know why? Because I don't believe people can actually keep secrets. Oh my God, can I confirm that? Having worked in the government, so many people are like, this is a government conspiracy. I'm like, kids, it's not, we I confirm that? Having worked in the government, so many people are like, this is a government conspiracy. I'm like, kids, it's not, we're not that competent.

It's just the dummies that you know doing their best. The idea that we can cover up anything is laughable. We're just not, there's just too many people. Yes. Think about how many leaks come out of everything. The moving parts alone. Yeah, no about how many leaks come out of everything. The moving parts alone. Yeah, no, that makes me feel good.

Yeah, you're right. Is politics mostly theater? Some theater. Policy is not theater. Policy is important and hard, but no one cares about it, so we have to present it to the world. Do you want to run for office one day? Never. What do you do to relax?

Mmm... I bake. I bake cakes and I bike. What kind of cakes are you doing? Are you doing like the crazy, I don't know that it's a cake cake? No, I'm not that good. Okay.

I'm just, it's like a nice, I actually started after Trump won the first time because I was like working, I was writing speeches in my basement alone and it's like very sad and lonely. Because you were doing what Trump wanted, you were turning into the woman. Exactly.

A sad, lonely harpy. Learn how to bake, got it. Yes, exactly. I was like, how do I become more feminine? But it's very meditative, you like sift the flour, and I'd make myself a cocktail and listen to an audio book. Do you like, I hate sifting flour. I like it. It's very like, I don't know, it's very meditative.

Do you have an eye bag? Oh, it's just like. Oh no, I don't like that one. It hurts your hand. No, you got to do the bowl. Yeah. Yeah, that's great. And then I make elaborate, my children, because I have twins, I have, every year I get, I tell them they get to each pick a theme, like a cake choice, and then I put them together. And so like one year we had like. You're like the mom that has two kids

that play for different universities and she sews both jerseys together. Yeah, like that, yeah. Are you cool mom? Do they talk to you normal? Or do they talk to you like mom? Yes, I think we talk a lot, but I'm like mom. Like I have to lay down the law.

We have to, my husband and I are very like, we're not your friend. Yeah. Cool mom in my head is just the movie Mean Girls when she walks in. Yeah, no I'm not like that. And it's like, I'm one of you. Yeah, I'm not like other moms. I'm a cool mom.

Yeah. What's your go-to favorite cake? Oh, well there's this really good chocolate cake that I put salted caramel on. It's really good. It's very rich. And then you make homemade salted caramel. How many layers are we talking?

Well, the cake- You do a sheet? No, the cake is like three layers. And then if you do tiers. What's the most tiers you've ever done? I've only done three. Okay. Yeah. I did like a couple of wedding cakes for friends. You've done wedding cake?

Just like for friends. Right, but there's, I mean, there's still wedding. I made a superhero girl's cake for the girl's birthday one time. I made little chocolate poison ivy and like a Wonder Woman. That's amazing. Well, I care more about the cakes

than any speech you've written. Yeah, me too. I did, we had a naked cake for our wedding. You like that? I did. I'm not an icing person. Oh, I think people say that, but I make really good icing. It's cream cheese and not too sweet.

It's really good. Sometimes I like it. Do you mess with cookies and other things, bars? Not really. Brownies, where you at on brownies? Pies, I make a lot of pies. I love a good pie. Yeah, especially for holidays.

I need a heavy amount of crumble on top though. I need crust all over it. I don't need some of these fruit pies. Some of them are hideous. I'm not the biggest fruit pie. The only fruit pie I love is, it's apple pie with salted caramel. I really love salted caramel.

Do you want to say caramel or do you say caramel ever? I say both. Okay. Do you ever laugh at the fact that the way you were raised and now what sits before me and how you raise your daughters? No, I was gonna ask you that actually. Do you ever feel like if I don't give my children

like crippling guilt and anxiety, then they won't turn out right? Like. Oh, no. I feel like, I don't know, I feel like don't you have to go through like a phase where you're like, am I a bad person who will burn in hell? I don't know.

I'm not doing that to my kids, but there is a part of me that's like, oh, is that critical to being a good person before? Like, do you have to grow out of it in order to like recover and then be normal? I mean, I think maybe they won't, they might not have some of the drive that I had. Yeah, I mean, I guess it's similar to like growing up middle class and then having like more resources and you're like, they're not gonna know what it's like.

Like fight. I don't know. I just, you know, like Elon Musk, you love that guy? Oh God, what a guy. So it's like people can say things that like, oh, what have you done? to like what he's done? Let's say he's a million times smarter than I will ever be. Let's say his contributions to the world

actually have a long-term effect and it has like blah, blah, blah, blah, whatever you wanna say. I'll agree to all of it. Without even fighting. But guess what? What? All my kids love me.

That to me is all I cared about. No, I agree, yeah. I'm like, my kids love me. Your kids don't love you. No, no. You'll die alone. Surrounded by your money. Cozied up in your money.

Well, that part of it sounds nice. That part of it sounds nice. Every billionaire is a policy figure. When is Mitch McConnell gonna die? Oh, God. Do you think he's made a pact with the devil? That part of it. Every billionaire is a policy figure. When is Mitch McConnell gonna die? Oh, God. Do you think he's made a pact with the devil to just go forever?

I have no idea. I don't know. All I want is my kids to run up and hang from his neck. Just like, ah! Because you have so much affection for him. And you want them to have a good. Not hurt him. I just want them to see how far they can...

I want them to take it, because when they wrestle me, sometimes they fish hook me and move my face around, and they think it's funny. Do you worry that that's gonna be you? No. Because they're fish hooking you. I don't worry at all. I just want them to, I want Mitch McConnell to take that one

and just grab it and pull it over his head, and just go, ah, like scare kids. Oh my goodness. Forget politics. Who's the most genuine person you've met in DC? Well, like human? Like I have lots of friends, like you don't know them. Are they good people?

Oh yeah, no, DC is full of good people. I, so the way that people shit on LA, I feel that people shit on DC. In the same way,, most people come to DC because they love America and they love, and there are of course people who are just assholes who wanna make money and have power, but most people, the hours suck, the pay is shitty.

Pay on the Hill is terrible. Pay at the White House is horrible. Administration's okay. But like, it sucks. It's a shitty job. And then you just get shit on all the time. Like every time something happens, everyone's like, these assholes are here.

Like we are disappointing all the time. But most people are trying their best. Like lots of people are good people who just wanna make the world better. It's a great city. Yeah. I've always loved it too. Yeah, it's great.

It's got great city. Yeah. I've always loved it too. Yeah, it's great. It's got like nature, we've got beautiful like monuments and museums. They're all free. I'm so spoiled. I can't take my children anywhere now because any museum that wants to charge us, I'm like, this is outrageous. When I was younger in my 20s

and I would be walking around DC and I was like, this is the greatest city in the world. But I always said, what am I gonna do when I'm 70? Because that's all I see when I'm walking around. Really? DC is just other 70 year olds enjoying everything. And I'm like, I'm in their little group in the museum. No, it's full of young people.

I know, but not doing the touristy stuff that I was doing at 20. No, no, no, yeah. Yeah, that's true. Everybody gets a gift from the show. This is all my Kamala gear. Oh my God, thank you. I love it. Yep. And this, my son brought to Share Day his Kamala doll because he was so excited for the first female president

and that was a huge failure. So Okay, he doesn't need that ever again. Thank you. Oh, but oh You know, oh you think she's gonna run again? Your son needs no And we just because you didn't win she's still the first woman vice president. She's still a significant person. Get that off my desk. Throw that on the floor. We don't want to need... No, all of that on the floor.

What size feet do your daughters have? What? Why? I'm just curious. I don't know. Five? Five? I think five. My wife has tiny feet. Oh God. Tiny feet.

I have a friend who has a size five foot. But she has shoes, she's too old to wear some of her cool shoes. So I'm giving your daughter some cool shoes. That's fantastic. One of your daughters can see, these are golden goose. Oh my God, oh they're actually gonna love those. Okay, these are golden goose.

Wait, your wife bought these? No, she had them a long time, those are probably $1,000. No way. Yes. Wow, they're gonna love those. Okay, these are golden goose. Wait, your wife bought these? No, she had them a long time ago. Those are probably $1,000. No way. Yes. Wow, they're gonna love them. Okay, well no. I think they'll definitely buy it.

Hold on, because she shouldn't have those anymore. I'm like, you're too old, lady. Yeah. By the way, some of this stuff has never been worn. Those just look aged. That's what they're, then I got these, one of your daughters can have these too. Okay, good, I need one for both of them.

Wow. That's something. They're ugly, I need one for both of them. Wow. That's something. They're Uggs, she'll love those. They've been telling me that I need to buy them Uggs and I just refuse, so now. Now you got, you bring those up. Look, there's still a sticker. Wow, these are like house Uggs?

I think. Where does one get these? Can I tell you why she had those? Yeah. It was, I think for a baby shower that she, like, oh, they had silly pink something. Okay. And she didn't wear them.

She didn't wear them. No. No, they're house socks to wear around your fancy house. Right, but it was like for a baby shower. Okay. It doesn't matter what the story. Don't love it. Get it off the desk, please.

Do you ever put on the old princess outfit for the girls? No, but I did. What? No, I sold them. You gotta blow their mind. I sold all my princess costumes. I know, but do you do the magic to form? No, but the other, like a month ago,

my husband ran a race and it was like a small race and they had a balloon person there. Did you write speeches for it and he lost? No. Actually, he won. He won the race. And they were doing ballooning, my daughter came up he lost? No. Actually, he won. He won the race. And they were doing balloon animals. My daughter came up to me and she was like,

do you see this dog? It's awful. And I was like, okay, hold on. And I like went over and I made her, I was like, can I borrow this? And I made her a dog. And then the children just lined up. And for an hour, I just started making balloon animals

for kids. And my husband came over and was like, I won this race and they gave me a medal and you were over here making balloon animals. I was like, sorry. Oh, I have one more thing. Oh my God, I get so many presents. No, this isn't good.

This is great because I always have to bring things home to my kids and I always forget. This is actually just for me. Okay. It's a card for my wife that I want you to write inside for me. Oh, I get paid a lot of money to do that. No, no, I know, that's why this is a gift.

That's why it's a gift. Okay, you just have to, I just need you to pen something. By the way- Oh, this is my gift to you? Yeah. Yeah. By the way, isn't that a good card? That's pretty.

That's so cute. I would put this in a child's bedroom. Oh, well, we've got enough things curated on our shelves in our children's bedrooms. I'll let you work on that later. Okay. You just, we'll do that later. Okay. That's fine.

I can't come up with something on the spot. All right. Yeah, you know what? I'll just have you mail it to her. Okay, great. Can you give me the address? I will. Okay. You think I'm joking. Dear wife. Yes. You are the address? I will. Okay. You think I'm joking. Dear wife. Yes. You are the love of my life.

Well, listen, you can freestyle if you want to, but I, and nothing's off limits, because normally what I, I don't know if you're, there's no way you saw this. Who died who is great? The duck, Aflac. What? Gilbert Godfrey. Oh, Gilbert Godfrey.

Oh, Gilbert Godfrey. Gilbert Godfrey, just rest in peace. The sweetest man, there's a documentary about him, and he was like a weird hoarder of like free stuff from hotels, but his wife pulled out all the cards that he'd ever written her, and all of them just say, fuck you.

Like, like. Oh, I thought it was gonna be so sweet. No, every one of them, every one of them is say, fuck you. Like, like. Oh, I thought it was gonna be so sweet. No, every one of them, every one of them is like, fucking shut up. Like, not even shut up. It's like, it's your birthday, go fuck yourself. Like, oh, and it tickled me. She just had so many of them.

Oh, was she lovingly showing them? Yes, years and years. They have kids, you know, it's just the sweetest thing in the world. Oh, I brought a tear to my eye when I watched it. I was like, oh my goodness, so good. So good to write like that. Amber, thank you for being on the show.

Thank you for having me. I really hope you turn this whole thing around. I plan to, I plan to, yeah. I've got a four-point plan to fix've got a four point plan to fix America. You don't need to fix America. Oh, okay, just the Democratic Party. Yeah, that would be nice. But also, what you should do right now

is just for the next four years, let's just take care of the daughters. Yeah. And then pop your head back up. Yeah, yeah, that's my plan, yeah. Go to the park, you know, bake some cakes. Oh man, by the way, the cakes. I didn't talk enough about that.

You didn't make me go for tarot either. I was promised. Oh, well, I mean, is that really something you believe in or is it just something? Yeah, well, yes, I love it deeply. But it's not like, it's not like- Do you go to readings or do you give readings? No, I give readings.

Dumb. Actually, no, I think I could convince you that it's not dumb because, do you want me to? To convince me? Yeah, I'm dying for this. Okay. Tarot cards are universal, like Jungian symbols.

You know Joseph Campbell's Hero's Journey. Yes. So that is sort of the, do you not? You do. Yeah. It was more for John's. So those symbols are like universal symbols that we project our subconscious onto.

Basically we are laying out cards and then we tell a story. And that's just like storytelling. So it's not like magic, it doesn't have to be magic. Like I'm not telling the future. It's therapy for witches. Exactly, it's therapy for witches. Yes, exactly. I don't believe in therapy, so I've got a lot of problems. Wow.

I don't want to work through my problems by talking about it. Oh, sorry. You don't want to work through your problems. Got it. I'd prefer to suppress. Nothing is wrong ever. No, everything's wrong. I'm aware of it.

Oh, sorry. You're just accepting? Well, that's very Buddhist of you, isn't it? Ah, look at that, guys. You're enlightened. I'm aware of it. Oh, sorry. You're just accepting? Well, that's very Buddhist of you, isn't it? Look at that, guys. You're enlightened. I finally found my religion. Alright, thank you for fixing the world, Amber. Okay, you're welcome. Thank you.

I don't have a sign-off. Oh, no. Work on it. Do you want me to write you one? Write me a sign-off that I can do for my... I'm very expensive. Alright, we'll pay for it. Guys, do we have in the budget? Hire me, please. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show

and In Your Ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really No Really podcast our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer.

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Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a playboy, my doll. Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please.

Because at the center of this murky world is an alleged predator. You know who he is because of his pattern of behavior. He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in.

It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him. Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. or wherever you get your podcasts. somehow shave for the interview and then grew back the scruff for the send off. That's wild stuff. How you doing, Carl? You get groomed tomorrow. There are some knots in you, I can tell.

Anyway, hey, guys, you know our free plug segment? Yeah. It's having an effect on me. We've plugged bowling two times and I haven't bowled in ten years and I found myself recently bowling Look at you, buddy, and it really opened my eyes To how out of touch I've become and I'm gonna share with you now granted. This is in

Tahoe is an inclined village and it's a a Hawaiian chef Opened up a bowling alley up there and they've got nice food now You would never associate bowling with good food as far as I'm concerned They're even their thing their little line on there I don't know if it's their promo is it just says, come for the food, stay for the bowling. Now the whole thing is booked up constantly. My wife's like, we got to go. It's, it's new and it's doing well. So we go there, we got a large group, way too many kids, you

know? And I order poke. You know? Let's see what the stomach can handle. The guy's like, do you want the poke spicy? I'm like, absolutely. Spicy poke. I'm at a bowling alley. Of course I want uncooked fish as spicy as possible. And they got chopsticks on the ready. By the way, delicious. My stomach handled it fine, no problem. Now let's talk about the bowling. They're like, you can have six people per lane.

We had 11. Already I'm just like, my wife's like, well, the kids don't really count. And the lady's like, yeah, they count. But you can't have 11 people. I'm like, we'll stand and just hover. And she's like, whatever. So she lets us bowl. We get into teams, so not stand and just hover. And she's like, whatever. So she lets us bowl.

We get into teams, so not everybody's just, you're not bowling all 10 frames. So my son is just furious that he's bowling once every eight minutes. I threw five frames. You ready for this, Eddie? Yep. You're gonna be proud of me.

First roll, strike. Second roll, strike. Second roll, strike. Third roll, spare. Okay? Yep. Then double gutter. Wow. Double gutter, don't know how that happened.

And then they had me do the 10th frame so that we could come back and win. You know, think I'd pick off three strikes in a row and I got a nine. What pound ball do you think I was using 13 12 should have I used a 13 maybe might have kept you out of the gutter ah I was using a 12 I mean later in the oil patterns are so different late okay I don't there was no oil pattern I don't know what that means um here's Eddie what I want you to guess for real.

I just, and not for where I was, but just, this is just to show you how in touch I am, because I thought this is ridiculous. What do you think bowling for one hour, one lane, one hour, what does that cost? I thought it should be like $2.50. I was going to say 40. You said 40? Yeah, I'm going should be like $2.50. I was gonna say 40. You said 40?

Yeah, I'm gonna think 40. It was 50. All right. Wow. Okay, so you're not out of touch, but isn't that number huge? Well, it would seem so. But you have 11 people there. Well, we're not supposed to have 11 people.

If I would have had one person, it would have been $50. It's way better though than you get Bulmore. That's better? Ugh. My takeaway? Still, I don't get bullying at all. Alright, let's talk gambling for a split second. Had a bad season betting on football.

It's always easy for people to mock people's picks from the sidelines. But now I'm giving you an opportunity, put in the comment section, your lock of the week, any bet that you think I should make. I will put all my money on it. I'll do it starting next week. Okay. Check out a Tosh show store.com. Get some merch.

We've got some new stuff coming out. Some new headwear. I think Eddie's tour. He's going to be in Key West, Minneapolis, St. Louis. My tour, we're gonna be in New York and New Jersey in April. And then I'm gonna do the Midwest in June.

Also might head out to Lisbon for a quick pop-up. If you're in Lisbon, you might want to come check out my show. The Freeplugs. Okay. We got any new Freeplug music this year? If you're in Lisbon, you might want to come check out my show the free plugs Okay, we got a new free plug music this year That is sexy I Didn't know free plug music could sound sexy What's good because this free plug is for the ladies

Whitefish, Montana if you are a woman if you identify as a woman and you are intimidated by the train park at the ski Resort come on down for Lady Power Park hour on January 18th From 10 a.m. To 4 p.m What's Lady Power Park hour and it's from 10 a.m. To 4 p.m What does that mean? Is it one hour or is it all day? Well, whatever they need to rename it and it's from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. What does that mean? Is it one hour or is it all day? Well, whatever, they need to rename it. It's ladies only, non-competitive,

introductory level, slope style event at Whitefish Mountain Resort. Open to all skill levels from first timers to those with years of experience. Our goal is to build confidence and a community for ladies in the terrain park now see On ski resorts they have they have you know a couple runs little small portion of the run will be the park where they got the ramps the rails the boxes and A lot of times it's intimidating because you know the cool guys

Just hang out there and just kind of keep walking back and forth and hitting those jumps really hard and you you want to go over it cuz it's fun to go over a box You just go slow over on your snowboard and you feel like you did something Well, this is to build confidence for the ladies in there All right The event will be run by women in an effort to make it a comfortable and supportive environment and will be more fun and hype than competitive. All right, jeez. Oh, there's going to be prizes. I didn't know that.

Prizes will be awarded, including best trick, biggest air, best wipeout, best costume, most attempts, and most improved. Ah, I feel like they missed a few categories. Most attractive, huh? If you're gonna make it ladies only, let's make it a beauty contest. Let's make it a beauty contest.

Prizes are all donated by women owned, run, or funded companies. What if there's like a, what if I wanted to donate a prize? I'm not allowed to because because I was I was cursed with this hideous penis That's a shame. Yeah, if they reach a certain level of participation They will divide participants into separate categories This is ridiculous. All right, that's the lady power park hour, which as we have learned is six hours long

That's a good free plug nobody get hurt out there. It's not it's not worth the prize going off a Jump too bad. You know what? I always thought they should invent with this For the big jumps they you know how like when you're driving down a road and they have those new speed limit signs and it'll show your speed or say slow down or too fast? Right. I think they need those right in front of those jumps, those big jumps, like you need to be going 21 miles an hour when you hit this and you'll land safely on the down slope.

I like it. And it should say like if you're going too fast, like slow down so that you don't overshoot the landing. Cause that's where you really get hurt. You overshoot the landing or short the landing. That's where trouble. So we need these little signs that tell you how fast you're going.

And if you need to speed up or slow down, that one's free. See you next week. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight Yeah, that one's free. See you next week. correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together our mission on the Really No Really podcast is to get the true answers

to life's baffling questions like why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor? What's in the museum of failure and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer. Go to ReallyNoReally.com and register to win $500 a guest spot on our podcast or a limited edition signed Jason Bobblehead. The Really, No Really Podcast. Follow us on the iHeart, radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

The forces shaping markets and the economy are often hiding behind a blur of numbers. So that's why we created The Big Take from Bloomberg Podcasts, to give you the context you need to make sense of it all. Every day in just 15 minutes, we dive into one global business story that matters. You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine. A lot of this Memestack stuff is I think embarrassing to the SEC. Follow The Big Take podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen.