Tosh Show - My dog whisperer
Episode Date: December 12, 2023Daniel speaks to his pets with the help of today’s guest Nikki Vasconez, a former lawyer who is now the most in-demand animal communicator.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information....
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Three bands. One stadium.
A flippered journey.
Hearts.
Together.
Three rock and roll holofame icons.
Their biggest hits.
Friday, August 2nd. Roger Center.
Register for Free Sailor Access at tapflipperedjourney2024.com. Walter Isaacson set out to write about a world-changing genius in Elon Musk and found
a man addicted to chaos and conspiracy.
I'm thinking it's idiotic to buy Twitter because he doesn't have a fingertip feel for
social, emotional, networks.
The book launched a thousand hot takes,
so I sat down with Isaacson to try to get past the noise.
I like the fact that people who say,
I'm not as tough on musk as I should be,
or I'm always using anecdotes from my book
to show why we should be tough on musk.
Join me, Evan Ratliffe, for On Musk with Walter Isaacson.
Listen on the iHeart Radio app Apple Podcasts
or wherever you get your podcasts.
Tune in to the new podcast Stories from the Village of Nothing Much.
Like easy listening but for fiction.
If you've overdosed on bad news, we invite you into a world where the glimmers of goodness in everyday life are all around you.
I'm Catherine Nicolai and I'm an architect of COSI.
Come spend some time where everyone is welcome
and the default is kindness.
Listen, relax, enjoy.
Listen to stories from the village of nothing much.
On the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
Do you need to look anywhere specific?
Into my soul. I can do that.
No, you can't.
It's okay.
You know why you can't?
Because your glasses are blocking it a little bit.
Little because souls aren't real.
Oh, okay, this is going to be an interesting conversation then.
Yeah.
Tosh show.
Tosh show.
Tosh show.
Tosh show.
Tosh show.
Tosh show.
Welcome to Tosh show. I'm comedian Daniel Tosh. Show. Show. Show. Show. Show.
Welcome to Tosh Show.
I'm comedian Daniel Tosh and I'm the host of the Tosh Show.
We're here in beautiful sunny Southern California.
Eddie, you like California, don't you?
I love California.
When did you move here?
Maybe 2002, 2003 around there, yeah.
I moved here in the late 90s.
I'd tell you what, people,
I'm gonna about to do a PSA for California.
You ever see those commercials,
whereas just for the state,
and they always have cool Arnold Schwarzenegger's always in it.
Somebody's rollerblading or something.
They never asked me to do those,
but I feel like I should do those.
Yeah, because right now,
California is hurting.
Oh my goodness.
People are leaving in droves.
And I couldn't be more excited about it.
My only goal in life, my goal is a child.
I might have said this on the show before,
but I'll say it again now.
My goal was never to become a comedian.
My goal was to live in California.
That was my childhood goal, honestly. I mean, I just
as a kid who grew up in Florida, who loved to surf, the surf is garbage in Florida. Hey,
good luck with DeSantez fixin that. You can't fix garbage beach breaks. Oh, there's a
hurricane. It's going to be good for six minutes before we all die. I just, I just love the state.
I've always loved it.
People complain about California, the high taxes.
Yeah, great.
When I used to make no money, which believe it or not,
was a majority of my career.
Didn't care at all.
It was just fun making ends meet.
And now I do make money.
I give half of it away at least in taxes. Good.
The point is I love this state and I'm happy to be here. You got any videos for me, Eddie?
I do. I about this video.
It seems like an amazing bar.
A flusy, an old man, a drunk, and an LP walk into a bar.
There's your setup.
I'll let you guys write the punchline, and I'll read that next week.
I probably won't.
Well, you got to, you have to play a different video.
Why you run out of there like that?
Why you were going to be...
This don't make no sense. Every time we go out somewhere and we try to watch a game in peace you X of food and we get put out
every time. They ain't that time I fly you no fly. But what you thought they was gonna
do? That was scared they know they cheated to me.
I assume his chest pain turned into something a little more seriously and she put the camera
down and called 911.
At least that's what I'm hoping.
I want to point out to people that this video was posted after week 11 of this year's NFL
season. And if I remember correctly, Dallas
was in Philly and they lost a heartbreaker. Dax stepped out of bounds on a two point conversion.
And the final play ended up on the one yard line. Eddie's a big Philly fan. He'll listen
to one of his podcasts if you want to hear about fucking Eagles games. But now this week,
podcast if you want to hear about fucking Eagles games, but now this week, you got your redemption. Down goes Jalen Hertz.
I'll tell you what, the way Jalen Hertz, the way they could have won that game is if they
would have just pushed the whole time.
When it's fourth and short, they all get behind Jalen Hertz and then the announcer has to
go, did you know that he can squat 600 pounds
like I give a shit at all?
And their success rate is like 98% on fourth and short.
Okay, well, and then they say
that oh, we're gonna change the rules next year.
This is what I want Philly to do.
If it's so effective, do you know how many art yards
they actually average when they do the Tush Push, Eddie?
It's like three.
About three yards.
What's three times four, Eddie?
Exactly, we're at 12.
That's 12, that's more than a first down.
So why aren't they doing the Tush Push on first down,
second down, third down, fourth down,
just every single play, the entire game.
You do that for one game, every play the push push.
And not only will the rule get changed,
but it will be the single greatest football game
in the history of the NFL.
We'd love to see it.
Every play, push push, the whole way.
Just up and down the field.
I just think it would be amazing.
Now, I know what you're going to say.
Oh, Jaylen Hertz, he can squat 600 pounds, but that's, you know, that's his max.
You don't max, you know, 50 plays a game.
That's too many Tush Pushes.
I say one time, come on, coach.
Speaking of Philly, that's where our guest today is from.
She was an attorney, which I don't find that interesting, but she quit to focus on her true calling,
which was talking to animals.
Ding, ding, ding, ding, I find that extremely interesting.
She can talk to my dead pet.
Yeah, I'm going to have you on the show. I'm not going to fly you first class, but I'll fly you out here to talk to my dead pet. Yeah, I'm gonna have you on the show.
I'm not gonna fly you first class,
but I'll fly you out here to talk to me.
Enjoy.
When Walter Isaacson set out to write his biography of Elon Musk,
he believed he was taking on a world-changing figure.
That night, he was deciding whether or not to allow Starlink
to be enabled to allow a sneak attack on Crimea.
What he got was a subject who also sowed chaos and conspiracy.
I'm thinking it's idiotic to buy Twitter because he doesn't have a fingertip feel for
social emotional networks.
And when I sat down with Isaacs in five weeks ago, he told me how he captured it all.
They had Kansas spray paint and they're just putting big axes on machines and it's
almost like kids playing on the playground just choose them up left right in center
And then like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde he doesn't even remember it getting the bars done excuse being a total
But I want the reader to see it in action
My name is Evan Ratliffe and this is on Musk with Walter Isaacson
Join us in this four-part series as Isaacson breaks down how he captured a vivid portrait of a polarizing genius.
Listen to On Musk on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
Tune in to the new podcast, Stories from the Village of Nothing Much.
Like easy listening, but perfection.
If you've overdosed on bad news, we invite you into a world where the glimmers of goodness in everyday life are all around you.
I'm Catherine Nicolai, and you might know me from the bedtime story podcast,
nothing much happens. I'm an architect of Kozy, and I invite you to come spend some time
where everyone is welcome and kindness is the default. When you tune in, you'll hear stories
about bakeries and walks in the woods. A favorite booth at the diner and a blustery autumn day.
Cats and dogs and rescued goats and donkeys.
Old houses, bookshops, beaches were kites flying,
and pretty stones are found.
I have so many stories to tell you,
and they are all designed to help you feel good
and feel connected to what is good in the world.
Listen, relax, enjoy.
Listen to stories from the Village of Nothing Much on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hey, this is Justin Richmond, host of the Broken Record Podcast.
Join me and co-hostly arose for in-depth creative conversations with the artists you love.
Over the past five years, we've interviewed some of the most legendary figures in music,
like Paul Simon, Ferrell, Damon Albar, Andre III Thousand, and Usher.
And you'll hear from rock icons like Pete Townsend, who shares wild stories about his
formative years with the who, and Johnny Mar, the legendary guitarist and co-founder of
The Smiths, who has an unwavering devotion to his craft.
Or the stories behind the legendary hits Babyface wrote for Whitney Houston and Madonna, plus
how he collaborates with the new generation of R&B stars like Kailani and Dogey.
Listen to Broken Record on the I Heart video app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your
podcast. My guest day stop practicing law to begin a new career charging clients tons of money
to speak to their pets seems like a lateral move. Please welcome my favorite animal communicator
Nikki.
Nikki, thank you for coming here.
Wait, how old are you? Can I ask? I only ask. I'm sorry, I'm supposed to ask, but you
look very young to me, so that's why I was comfortable asking.
34, 35 in January.
Okay, you're a lot older than I thought.
Great.
34 in January.
Hold on, I can do this.
19th, 14th, 25th, 31st.
Yes.
January 31st?
Yep.
You serious?
My daughter's birthday is January 31st.
No.
I was upset.
She's gonna be an animal communicator.
Will you be a proud and supportive dad?
If she's an animal communicator,
I will not be proud, will not be the right word.
I would be supportive.
That's all you need to do.
I feel like I can skip my normal first question
that I ask all my guests. Check, you believe in ghosts. I mean what do you mean by
ghosts? I don't know. That's just a question I always ask
every day. Do you believe in ghosts? Like the white little
Casper thing? No. But do I believe that we can connect with
spirits? Love our animals? 60% of my work? Got it. Crazy. Check.
All right.
You always hear people that like were a lawyer
and then they switched to something
for lack of better words, crazy.
Okay.
You know, like, oh, he was a lawyer,
but then he became a comedian.
And it's always like, oh,
and I'm supposed to be impressed
that you stopped doing this impressive job
to do something less.
It's like, you never hear some of you say,
oh, I stopped being a lawyer to become a doctor.
Because no one's happy as a lawyer
and no one's happy as a doctor.
So nothing would be accomplished in that move.
Did you like law?
No.
Not at all?
Not at all.
It was at parents.
What forced you into that field?
At 21, when you graduate college,
I was like, what do I want to do with my life?
I had no idea.
So why not be a lawyer?
And first year law school, I realized this is not what I want to with my life? I had no idea, so why not be a lawyer? And first year of law school, I realized
this is not what I wanna do, but at that point,
you're already financially invested,
you're already there, so finish.
How much money all in for your education?
High 280's, 280,000?
High 280's, so 289?
I don't remember.
I mean, I mean, I 200 is a high 200's.
But I think it was like 280 something.
I am okay.
Sure, you know, okay.
I was in litigation in Center City, Philadelphia.
It was just chaos.
I hated every second of it.
No lawyer is happy.
I know one lawyer that enjoys being a lawyer.
I love my lawyer.
Does he love his life?
Don't never ask him.
Both my eyes were twitching at separate times.
I hated all of my clients.
Judges were cranky.
Cops were miserable. And then I hated all of my clients. Judges were cranky, cops were miserable,
and then I learned animal communication was possible.
And how does one do that?
Just like you communicate with people.
Let me ask you this.
Okay.
Have you ever had a time where your phone rang?
Mm-hmm.
And you knew who was calling before you looked at it.
Yes.
Telepathy.
Okay.
It's only one person calls me.
Not true.
Have you ever had a time where someone, friend, partner, Telepathy. Okay. It's only one person calls me. Not true.
Have you ever had a time where someone, friend, partner, anyone was about to ask you a question
or say something and you answered them before they asked it out loud?
Real cheese.
That is nothing to do with what I just said.
All right.
Yes, to that question as well.
That's telepathy.
Telepathic communication is nonverbal communication.
It's a universal language that might sound weird.
All of my sessions are done remotely through a picture.
I receive images or thoughts in my head
or feelings in my body.
Like if they have a sore right back foot,
my right ankle might start throbbing.
And I can describe it the best as like,
I can kind of, I get like a mental image
where I can see almost what I think your living room might look like
if the animal's talking about the living room.
Or when I hear a thought, it's like if I'm reading a book
to myself silently, like how that was sound,
but it's not my thought.
Just takes practice.
But it's something every human being can do,
which is why I have an online school
and I teach people every month, every day,
to talk to animals and they're really doing it.
How much you charge for that school? It's 65 a month. 65 a month. Yeah, they pay monthly.
No, that is so affordable. How often do they... We have weekly calls. So, twice a month, we have an
hour, long Q&A, twice a month, we have an hour and a half long practice corner. What made you even
attempt this in the first place? I hated being a lawyer. Sure, but aside from, you know, a lot of people hate their jobs and don't go, well, I should
talk to animals. Well, I learned that it was possible through a massage therapist at a local
wellness center. Okay, here we go. Then I went home, bought all the books on a Google, an animal
communication books. So I was like, all right, every single one of these authors are saying that
everybody can do it. I'm everybody, let's try.
So I just started doing practice sessions
on friends and family's animals,
slowly convinced myself that I was doing it,
and then created Instagram, Facebook,
and did readings for strangers, did well,
and then that's just how it took off.
You gotta convince yourself first.
Then I made a TikTok, and within a week of TikTok,
just exploded, went viral, and that's what
everything took off.
Can you talk to all animals?
Yeah.
Living and dead.
I hit a squirrel once, dead center of the back,
just over it with a heavy electric bike.
And he looked at me after.
I went over him, both wheels, boom, boom.
And just looked at me and then ran away.
Is he okay?
I don't know the answer to that,
but what you can ask yourself on something like that happens,
why were you out of alignment?
What were you going somewhere you shouldn't have been going?
No, I was coming home.
What were you going to fast?
No, I was on a little electric bicycle going down my street
and a squirrel ran out in front of me
and I happened to hit him.
He was in the wrong in fairness.
When you get into a car accident or something happens, it's because your energy, the essence
of you, something is off. Oh, no. That's a conversation for another day. Yeah.
We're not the same guy. But if you're truly in alignment, that shit doesn't happen.
So your thing is my fault that the school ran out in front of me.
Probably because of my own interest. Yeah. Huh Yup. Where your parents are so proud of their,
I'm gonna say little daughter,
because you're a small person.
She's gonna be a lawyer that has to be,
that has to be something for a parent.
And then you say,
no, no, no, no, forget all that.
I'm gonna talk to animals.
It was an interesting shift.
My parents are very supportive.
So they were all for whatever made me happy.
However, when they were moving me out of my center city law office, they were a little irritated
that day, and I could sense it.
But I mean, they've been supportive since the very beginning, but it definitely was an
adjustment.
So now they're proud of you.
Oh, I mean, they were always proud, but they were supportive.
Okay.
My parents were never supportive, but they were never not supportive, and I appreciated that.
So what does that mean?
I don't know exactly, but I feel like my parents were never like, oh, you should chase your dreams.
It was never that.
But they weren't like, they were fine with me doing it.
They aren't good luck.
But you're happier doing what you like doing.
Am I? Yeah. Where, they're in good luck. But you're happier doing what you like doing. Am I?
Yeah.
Where are you originally from?
Pennsylvania, outside hour, North of Philadelphia.
Do you like Philly?
The people are so intense.
I don't like any city.
Do you go into Philly often?
Never.
For the airport.
What about the accent?
Do I have an accent?
No.
Did you ever pick it up?
I mean, when I was little.
You ever say, you ever, John?
You ever say John? As in John? You ever say John?
As in John?
Oh, like John?
Like the bathroom?
No, what do they, no, not John, like John.
How do you say it?
Like John, like, hey you, they don't know.
You never say that?
No.
But they use that term a lot, right?
Hey John.
I just think that's like gangster talk anywhere you go.
No, I've never heard it in my life.
But you said it, so you heard it somewhere.
No, I heard it today.
It was written down for me to ask you
by somebody that cares about Philly.
I used to say water.
You say water ice.
No, I used to say water.
What about ice?
Water ice.
Water ice.
You know that no one else on the planet
knows what that is, right?
I don't like water ice.
Right, but do you know that?
Read as water ice. No one knows what the word water right? I don't like water ice. Right, but do you know that? Read as water ice?
No one knows the words water ice.
That doesn't mean anything normal people outside of Philly.
I don't think that's true.
Are you?
You don't have readers water ice?
No, no, no, no.
I don't have readers water ice.
And no, I still don't know what it is.
It's flavored ice.
Right, there's a term for that.
And it's not water ice. What do you call it?nt for that, and it's not water ice.
What do you call it?
Shaved ice, that's what we call it.
Who says shaved ice?
Hawaiian's, the Polynesians.
I'm neither of those.
No.
I used to say Crick for Crick.
Uh-huh, I can figure that one out.
But I don't say that anymore.
You ever into a buckies?
No.
Buckies, it's from Texas, it's in the South. It's huge in the middle of nowhere, gas stations.
And they've got a brisket station
and the cleanest bathrooms in the world.
And that's what they're known for.
I don't even know what a brisket is.
Like a biscuit?
No, brisket is...
I just don't know how you've studied law
and you don't know what brisk it is.
You single?
Married.
Happily?
Yes.
Right now.
For the first seven years, it was chaos.
Why is that?
Oh, because you weren't happy with your profession?
Well, that he was fresh out of the military.
We were just a disaster from the beginning.
But now we're best friends.
And we have two little poodles.
I have a poodle.
I was just going to say, do you not like have two little poodles. I have a poodle. I was just
gonna say do not like small dogs. I do. I love small dogs. Okay good. And I was always one of those
people that really like dogs more than kids. And then I had my own children. And that cemented it.
It was I definitely like dogs. Still dogs. Definitely more. Did you have lots of pets growing up?
Not really. We had a dog when I was younger that I don't really remember,
but I had bunnies, hamsters, some fish.
Why don't you go back and talk to your dog
that you had as a child?
I have a couple times.
Uh-huh.
And what did he say?
Oh, I don't remember.
I'm not calling her a he-she-addest
and know the gender.
She, Tasha.
Oh, T-I had a dog named Tasha growing up.
Black lab.
No St. Bernard.
We had Tasha one and Tasha two.
The first one died within like three months.
So then we just got another one and we just called it,
we're like, well, let's just call this one Tasha two.
Makes sense, I guess.
I might have buried it like literally right behind our garage.
You know how big of a hole you have to dig
for a 200 pound St. Bernard?
This is the sanity.
Did you have a bulldozer?
No, we hand-shuffled it.
This is in Fondalac in St. Louis, Missouri.
If anybody lives on Fondalac in my old childhood home there,
you probably dug up some remains
and thought it was a dinosaur,
but it was just my old dog that only lived for three months.
Why, only three months?
I think we didn't do it.
What did you do?
St. Bernard's get hot.
He might have had a heat stroke. I don't know. I have no idea how
he died. Why he died? I was a child. We have lots of dogs growing up and we moved constantly.
And whenever we moved, my dad just got rid of the dog.
Oh, it's sad.
Insanity. Yes. I don't even know. I never even thought to ask, like, well, why can't
the dog come with us? He's like, a dog's don't move with us. That's why you love traveling with your dog so much now.
Look at you. You are smart.
He is.
He has a gift.
You just have a gift of listening to people and then you can just spit it back at
them and then they hook line and sinker.
But that's what you do for a living.
Hmm. Fair enough.
Yeah.
Now, do you feel like there's people, you say you teach people to do this.
Do you feel like there's people in this line of work that are taking advantage?
I think there's there are people like that
that exist in every profession.
Sure, but is this this has to be skewed way more
snake oil salesmen than other professions?
No, because I don't think anyone would get into this
if they didn't have a heart for the animals.
But this is like I assume people are just wanting
to have some connection with their
animal on some level.
So my question is, are you forced to kind of always give more positive spins on what
you're hearing or seeing?
I just share what I receive.
People always ask me, has the animal ever said they hate their life, they hate their
family, and the answer is no, because people who are paying me to do this probably care
about their animals.
Right, but some of these animals probably were rescues or adopted from a shelter, which
is a great thing.
But maybe their previous owner sexually molested them.
Has an animal ever told you that they were sexually molested?
No, I can confidently say no.
What about kidnapped?
Has an animal ever said, hey, I've been taken.
This isn't my right floner.
Nope, but I had an animal say they voluntarily just left.
It was a pig.
He left where he was because he hated it and they didn't have enough time for him.
You know, a lot of times when someone commits a horrific crime,
they like to go back and they stand,
and they like to, you know, in movies,
this, I'm basing this on movies,
they go back to the police line,
and they're just kind of watching,
oh, wonder who did this.
So I'm thinking maybe there's a guy out there
that sexually molested his dog and then wants to get a reading just to see if his dog's
gonna talk.
I'm very thankful that person has never crossed my path.
That would infuriate me if I was ratted out by my dog.
Have you ever seen the Shaggy DA?
No.
Ah, that's a movie you should watch, because that lawyer became a dog.
What?
The Shaggy DA.
It's a Disney movie. It's a kids movie.
Does the dog die?
Because if the dog dies, I can't watch it.
No, no, the dog doesn't die.
But the dog turns into the lawyer.
The lawyer turns into the dog.
It doesn't matter.
Or one of the other, it's a kids movie.
It might be one of those Disney movies where at the beginning of it,
it says like, we know that there's some horrible, racial thing, but we're going to just leave it the way it was
because it was a different time in the 40s. Is it the black and white or color?
It's, I think it's in color. Isn't it like Dick Van Dyke?
Was it Dick Van Dyke? It's not Dick Van Dyke, but it's somebody's...
You sure wasn't Dick Van Dyke? I look it up. I don't think so.
You sure, I, you sure. You know those movies those movies where like, oh, all of a sudden,
I can hear women's thoughts and the person walks around
and they're bombarded.
Is that how your life is where you're just hearing animals
talking to you at all time?
No, it's very, I think I can speak for a lot of animal
communicators most that it's setting the intention
to have a conversation with a specific animal.
Talk about the money.
You charge 550 a session and to have a conversation with a specific animal. Talk about the money. You charge 550 a session
and you have a weight list of 10,000 people.
Please explain in detail how I break into this profession
and whether or not I could do 30 sessions a day.
You cannot do 30 sessions a day.
I do one a day.
How did you come up with 550?
It used to not be that, but your demand was so high.
And now my sessions used to be an hour, so I used to be 375.
And now naturally, I don't know why.
There are no less than an hour and 20.
So price increase with that.
You ought to raise, if you have a weightless this long, I think it's time to...
I can't go more than that.
I still want to be accessible to people.
Are all house cats total dicks?
No.
Do you have cats?
I don't, but that's only because of allergies.
Same, me too.
I would love to have a cat if it wasn't for my allergies.
I don't want to just take medicine every day.
Talk to me about your drug problem with ayahuasca.
You started, you used ayahuasca, and I just want to, and then you said that that showed you the realm of where all communication is possible.
What about
Shitting your pants and vomiting on yourself. Okay, so let's wait a second. Okay. I'm gonna answer that good. I ayahuasca
Okay, I've never shit myself. Good. Never throw up on myself. People do though. I'm very rare. I mean you purge
But it's not like you're throwing up like you're drunk or sick.
It's an energy purge, so it feels good coming out when you're purging.
I've never found it and it felt good.
I mean, I guess some of you need it to come up, but it's always a painful, you know,
it's not the direction things are supposed to go.
But when you threw up, you were either sick or drunk, probably, and I wasca, you're neither sick nor drunk.
So sometimes, no, it's not a drug.
It's two plants.
Okay, plants can be drugs.
You can't be drug tested.
There's never been a trial on it
because they can't prove anything.
There's nothing to test.
Don't lawyer me about drugs.
I just think.
But when you purge, sometimes you feel like
you're filling your bucket and then you look at it in the morning
It's like two spits. There's like nothing. It's just energy and your life changes and everything gets better
Often are you doing ayahuasca in the beginning? We did it often, but it healed my marriage
Uh-huh. Now maybe once a year twice a year. Do you get excited for it? No, it's not fun. Okay, oh.
Heck no.
I mean, it's excitement in the sense of you know
your life is going to get better.
In some way, that's why you do it.
It's not like a trip or let's go have fun
with my friends this weekend.
No, because it's very uncomfortable.
Should I have my kids do it?
Who's gonna listen to this?
Podcast?
I don't know.
I'm gonna check with my pediatrician on if I should give my children ayahuasca.
Because she's, you know, normally she doesn't side with that type of stuff.
I'm curious.
Yeah, you really don't want to ask that question.
No, I'll ask her.
I'll say, what do you think?
Do you think we should give my kids ayahuasca?
Are you vegetarian, vegan?
When did you become vegan?
Probably like nine years ago, but it was because,
is before the animal stuff, I just had a lot of digestive issues.
Me too.
When I was growing up, I would only poop twice a week.
It was awful.
I used to do that too.
I would, like, poop once a week.
My mom said I'd get too distracted and I wouldn't poop.
And then I get backed up.
And then I'd sit on the toilet for like two hours,
just screaming at the miss school that day.
We're supposed to poop twice a day. Well, now I poop just constantly.
That's good.
Well, not good.
It's constantly.
And in public.
Not in a bathroom.
Like, not in a bathroom.
On the street?
Yes.
Like a better version of in the street.
Recently I shattered a record.
You might get arrested.
No, no, you can't get arrested for pooping on the street.
In public?
Yeah, if it happens, it happens.
There's no law against having an accident.
I mean, I get the law here.
I can't believe it's an accident,
but if you're always doing this.
I'm not always doing it,
but I'm saying I have IBS,
and it's like recently, it happened twice in one day.
You might need a work on fixing your gut.
No, I know, my gut's a wreck.
Yeah, we should maybe talk about that.
Well, like today, just for this interview,
like I really don't eat this morning
until after this is over.
You should talk to my husband.
But why?
He does all digestive stuff.
Oh man, he could measure to that.
Because that's disruptive to life.
No, it is, but it's also a good story at every party.
I guess if that's the most important.
I maybe secretly, I like the thrill of, oh no,
I'm about to shit myself once a week.
Well, because you're getting rid of toxins.
No, I think I like it because it allows me to tell my wife,
I can't go someplace.
Well, maybe you need to work on that with your wife.
Like, if you don't want to go somewhere, don't go.
Well, that's what I do.
99% of the time, but in a relationship, it's a give and take.
So 1% of the time, I have to give.
Have you ever communicated with the Philly Phenatic?
Like the people?
No, the Philly Phenatic, he's the mascot.
He's a big animal.
No, because he is a person.
I talk to animals.
I talk to animals.
I don't think so.
All right.
Do you want to see a photo of a dog?
Your dog?
Yeah, I'm just a dog.
Well, I don't want, what information do I have to give you?
Oh, to communicate.
Yeah, you, I don't know.
Picture.
Yeah.
Name.
What's your dog's name?
Carl.
Okay.
Male.
Male.
Living or deceased?
Living.
Okay. Picture, sure. That's it. That's all you need. That's all I need
Okay, don't hold my phone. I've got weird. I've got weird
Folders so I'm just gonna take a minute to connect
I'll be here. Okay good
So Carl living mm-hmm
When I hold is no okay
Living. Mm-hmm.
I don't know how old he is.
No.
Okay.
So the first thing he's showing me is having trouble walking on hard
floors like he slips out sometimes.
Don't say anything.
I'm going to share a couple things that come through and then I'll ask for your response.
It's like he doesn't have the grip that he used to.
So I don't know if this is like he can't jump up to where he used to be able to, but the
mobility.
Is that something going on with the floors?
No.
No, come on.
No.
Who?
Slipping?
No.
No, I don't believe you.
Let's see what else he says.
Well, that is.
Okay, hold on.
Don't give me details.
I want to.
So he says that.
He says that when he's often like in your face, like trying to get your attention, trying
to get your attention, trying to get your attention too often you're not paying attention
to him when he wants you to pay attention to him.
And you need to be more focused on him.
Have you been really busy lately or do you find that when you're at home?
You're not giving him the attention he wants?
I think that's fair.
What I would say to him is bro.
I'm seeing you standing.
So it's not like you're in the couch.
For sure, I like to stand when I'm talking.
But no, I've got a lot on my plate.
So let me see what else he wants to say.
Oh, who cares?
What do you mean who cares?
It's your dog.
I know, but there's stuff that I want to know about.
Okay, so, of course he wants attention. He's a burner doodle. Okay, let's see stuff that I want to know about. Of course he wants attention.
He's a burner doodle.
Okay, let's see what else he wants to share
and then we can ask him questions.
Okay, this is a cliche thing to say,
but not all dogs love this.
Is there something you do out back?
But there's like a throwing action that you're doing.
He loves chasing it, but it seems to be different
than it used to be.
You're talking about the sex.
No.
I'm not.
Don't give me more details on it.
I'm not giving you more details.
Does he like fetch?
Is that the question?
Not with a stick, but I'm seeing this action.
No, we're not from the 1960s.
Outside.
With a stick.
It's you, not your wife.
You're throwing something, and he's loving it. He doesn't seem to be very fast.
He's so fast. No, but getting it. Carl's my car can do anything, but he can, but do you see him kind of slipping?
No, he doesn't kind of slip. He doesn't slip. Drop it. He doesn't slip.
But he might like carpet better so he can run in France. Run a carpet better.
A runner.
I'll tell you what I want to know.
Yeah.
Why does Carl take a shit in my movie theater?
Because he's trying to tell you something.
I know.
What did he try to tell me?
He will.
If I let him down in the movie theater, it's got shag carpet that's really long.
And he likes to poop down there.
I think he thinks it's grass.
Or he's mad that you're too busy not paying attention. But let me ask him. Let me ask him.
All right. All right. Carl, so why are we shitting in the movie theater?
Infuriating. You get, especially if you don't go down to the movie theater for a few days and then
all of a sudden you go down there and there's a, and my son is like, Dad, there's a poop in here.
All right. Let's see what's going on. I'm like, is it hard? He's like, it's rock hard. It's been there for a while. When you guys watch movies, hold on before you get, wait a second.
We don't watch movies. No, wait a second. I did recently just watch that Barbie movie.
Did you watch it? No. It was so cute. But it was like real life. Like it wasn't like
Figury. It was like people, right? Yeah, it was Margot Robbie. Okay, wait. We're going back to the poop. What do you think of Margot Robbie? I don't know who that is. You serious? I don't know anyone. She's beautiful. Oh my goodness. Don't know anything about her. If Margot Robbie
Did she play Barbie? Yeah, I just
My wife when I look at my wife, I just wish it was Margot Robbie every day.
No, you don't.
Well, that's true because I hate an Australian accent, but that aside.
All right.
Poop session now.
Hold on.
Please.
Okay.
All right.
Why does Carl like pooping in the movie theater?
Because it's him wanting, it gets your attention.
And then it forces you to do something that he wants you to do,
or that he knows you're going to do, which has come up to him,
whether you're saying, why are you doing that?
Or what are you doing?
I think if you take some time to just be present with him,
whatever that might be, that's going to lessen.
Why does he bark at my wife every time she walks into a room?
Like, let's say, let's say Carl's right here.
My wife gets up to go to the bathroom and then comes back into the room.
He's gonna bark when she comes back in the room.
Okay. And it's a very, it's a real bark.
He's got a loud bark.
Okay.
He just feels like he has this very protective nature.
But it's interesting that when your wife comes back in,
so let's see why he feels that he needs to be protective here.
I got a hunch. Hold on, don't tell me. I'm not going to tell you. I'm going to pay $550 to
hear it for you. You're not paying $550. I will. If you get this one, if you can figure this out,
because man, it's annoying. So barking at the wife, what's going on, Carl?
She got really mad at me for naming him, Carl.
Do you know my wife's name is?
No.
Carly.
Oh my gosh.
So she doesn't like his name still.
Well, she doesn't like dogs.
Oh my gosh.
So Carl's saying that your wife is really loud.
Oh my gosh, she's a piercing voice.
Yeah.
And like, but it's insanity how loud it is.
But she actually does or are you just joking?
No, I'm not joking.
It's in, it's, it's, it's, she has a little,
she's a loud speaking voice.
Okay, so let's, and she doesn't know how to whisper
and she also doesn't know proximity.
Okay, wait, don't give me details.
If I say something, actually, you're gonna be like, I already told you that, Nicky.
Well, okay, wait.
So I don't think the loud voice is why.
That's just what he said.
So let's see what else is there.
Just so loud and annoying.
Look, what can we do to stop this car?
I think I know what he's gonna say.
We have to kill my wife.
Which isn't a horrible idea.
Hey, you got to stop interrupting me because it distracts me.
One of these things are 90 minutes long.
No, I don't do it with the people.
I do it in my own room by myself.
Do you need some ayahuasca?
No, I don't need ayahuasca.
I'm ignoring all of you right now.
You can talk if you want it, it won't matter.
Okay.
Dean Jones starred in the Shaggy DA.
Dean Jones.
Also, her be the love bug guy.
Ah, but the voice of the car?
No, he was the...
No, the car didn't talk.
He just beeped.
He says that maybe that she never shares her food
and he gets pissed.
What?
Do you, do you?
No, we don't give our imp-table food.
Right, but do the kids like, do, do,
does he get scraps, things fall? And she's like so effect, like Right, but do the kids, like, do, does he get scraps things fall?
And she's like so effect, like,
what your wife doesn't ever do that.
He thinks that's highly effective.
No, she, like, she actually appreciates
that he eats all the food that falls to the floor
from the children.
But she doesn't give it to him.
No, no, she never gives it to him.
Yeah, he wants her to.
Well, so you're saying my dog likes food, huh?
Well. Are you gonna stop barking, Carl?
I just think that he's not gonna stop barking until your wife respects his space.
So whatever that means to her and to you guys, I think that's gonna make a difference.
I'll talk to her.
I have you, I bought you a gift.
I didn't buy it for you.
I just give people that come on my show a gift from my house
because I don't want to name more. Is it your movie theater? I'm giving you my movie theater. I don't know.
Just something for your place. Oh my goodness. I thought you would like this.
Wait, who are these dogs? That's Ava and that's Castro. Castro, dead, but really
loved him. Oh, you got it. You're flying home today. Yes, I can't take that on the plane.
You can take this on the plane. People love it. People are fans. No, I'll ship it to you.
Here, take your gift. What am I going do with this? What do you, do you have a fireplace?
I can't take this home.
Well, you guys, that'll be nice.
Thanks.
You're welcome.
It'll be a nice backdrop.
Oh, did you wanna talk to Castro or no?
Did you have anything to say to him?
He's the black and white one.
If you wanna just before we go.
Cause he's the one that men everything do me. So how's he, he died, I don't need to tell you where to go. Don't tell's the black and white one. If you want to just before we go, because he's the one that meant everything to me.
So how's he, he died, I don't need to tell you where to go.
Don't tell me, don't tell me.
Okay, so Castro.
The first image I got, I don't know why, is a baseball cap?
Did you, do you wear baseball caps,
or would you put a baseball cap on him?
I wear hats all the time to hide my balding spot.
Like a stereotypical baseball cap?
Well, sure.
Like a regular cap.
Okay.
Baseball hat, sure.
What do you call it?
We call hats nowadays.
Oh, hat could be like a sombrero.
I don't wear sombrero.
Is that what you thought?
Is that what you got from Castro?
Okay, show me a baseball cap.
Why is this important?
Oh, is this gonna be by the time that I stuck my fingers but
When you guys were out at the park or out it looks like you're not just walking on the sidewalk It looks like there's a lot of grass, but you are holding him while walking wearing your baseball cap
Would you hold him a lot outside? Yeah, I held him all the time. Okay, like you can tell from the set photo
But I mean like while walking. Uh-huh. No, I carried him a lot
Okay, but normally he loved walks, but I carried him whenever he was if I that wasn't uncommon to carry him
Yeah, he loved he loved being in your arms. You're walking outside at a park
There's a lot of grass where he could be running around you wearing a baseball cap. He loved that
What else do you want to say Castro? That's all he wanted to say what I mean
I've been dead for I can only get one message at a time.
Because something juicy or tell me how death was.
That's cold.
I got an image of him throwing up,
regurgitating.
Oh, good for you.
Did he do that a lot?
Oh, my goodness, he did it all the time.
Yeah.
He was a puke.
Okay.
Good for you.
That's the first...
I'll give you that one.
That and how loud my wife is. But you have to remember, too, like, you're Hey, that's the first. That's the, all right. I'll give you that one. That and how loud my wife is.
But you have to remember too. Like you're talking, they're laughing. No, no, no, no. Those the idiots, but the puke, he, he, at first
I thought it was just going to be a car sick thing, but there was this whole life and the thing,
the thing in the middle of the night and you knew you had about five of those before it was coming out.
So it was get them off the bed get them into a shower
If I was in a hotel room or get them hangins head out of a window. I've done that before
So they bring up these messages so you know, hey, it's them. This is me. All right, cash for what else?
Oh, what do you need to tell us about your passing cash or a devil to know about your passing?
I don't know if I really want to know. It seems.
Don't tell me details.
So sad.
He said that it was not a surprise for him.
It feels like it was scheduled.
Was he, was he, was he authorized?
Did you know that transition?
Uh-huh.
So he says it wasn't a surprise.
It was scheduled.
He knew it was happening.
He wasn't, he's stressing that he wasn't surprised.
So I'm thinking that's why he, he's stressing that he wasn't surprised. So I'm thinking that's why he's sharing that
because you were maybe one worried that,
was he okay with this?
Yes, he knew about it.
What else do we need to know about it?
He said, I didn't feel any pain.
Were you experiencing physical pain
before hand Castro?
He said, I was feeling physical, like physical achiness,
but it feels like closer and closer it got to the day
he actually passed.
He had no pain, but had no feeling really.
Like it was like, I just been seeing him
like lying down a lot, but he's totally happy
and he's not upset, but it just feels like he's a little
bit separated from the physical body.
Was there a shift in, like did he just like stop moving?
I mean, yeah, it was, it was.
Like laying down, like really just wasn't getting up.
Yeah, no, he was, he was the last month.
I just basically just brought him around.
Okay, so he's telling you that.
I'm telling you that.
In that last month, I guess,
when he wasn't moving around on his own,
he was not in pain during that last month.
Well, then I shouldn't have put him down.
No, no, no, no, no.
Oh, I still should have.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Cause he says he knew about that.
But he wants you to know because he's saying that in your mind, you were worried that he
was in so much pain during that last month.
And did I wait too long?
Did I do it too soon?
Did I not do it?
I was, it was the holidays.
So I was like, can we just hang on for a few more days?
So I don't associate, oh, yay.
Let's open presence.
No, he said he's a killer dog. So so once you didn't know that what
I'm so very Christmas. No, you don't. I mean like I just I don't I don't like the I grew up very
Catholic. I'm in a Catholic family. I don't know. Maybe it was just like my growing up like my mom
being stressed about money. Like I just have a thing about like people spending money on me that I don't need stuff.
Like I'd rather, I don't want you to feel like you have to buy me something.
Mm-hmm.
So I don't like the whole gift thing even the birthdays.
Can I have that back?
Well, that, I mean, no, you gave it to me already.
But like gifts on Christmas or gifts on your birthday
or you have to do it this or whatever.
Why forget the gift element?
But like Santa?
Yeah, isn't that cute?
No, it's a lie.
You're lying to your kids and then they find out in their heartbroken.
No, I wasn't heartbroken when I found out
that Santa wasn't real.
Well, how, what you used to do?
My mom made me feel like I was like,
like I was a big boy, like okay,
you know, don't let your little brother know,
but this is, you know, I don't know.
I just remember feeling like I was still excited
because I still, it was still like the whole festiveness
of the holiday was exciting.
Yeah.
But what about the pressure then
when your friends still think Santa's true
and then what do you do?
I don't know, you just don't tell them.
When I have kids, I don't think I'm not doing Santa.
All right, lucky kids.
My kids are not gonna suffer as a result.
Wait, let's go back to Castro.
Who doesn't like to get a gift?
Castro said that you let him give you a kiss on the lips and or nose. Oh, sure.
But it's unique to him. All holes were in play. So not other dogs, just him.
Like he was saying, this was special. Dad let me do this. Me, not the other siblings.
So is that something unique? My siblings, you mean the other dogs, right? Like is that
something that you that it was unique to him with you, daughter dogs, right? Like, is that something that you, that it
was unique to him with you?
Probably. Yeah. So he likes that. He liked that. He's
reminding you that his breath is a rancid too. Do you want
to ask him a specific question? Mm-hmm. Now, he was a good
dog. Tell my loved him. Nikki, Daniel, thank you for taking
time out today. Of course. To talk to me. I wish you all the best. And let's do it again when my next pet dies.
Let's do it. But like that was really sad. But it's also not sad because then fun messages come
through. I'm going to I'll hit you up after I do my first, my wasca experience. I'll hit you up after I do my first, uh, uh, ayahuasca experience.
I'll let you know how it goes.
You have to go to the right guy, hummingbird church in California.
All right.
I'm going to, I'm going to hit up hummingbird.
When Walter Isaacson set out to write his biography of Elon Musk, he believed he was
taking on a world changing figure.
That night he was deciding whether or not to allow Starlink to be
enabled to allow a sneak attack on Crimea. What he got was a subject who also soared chaos
in conspiracy. I'm thinking it's idiotic to buy Twitter because he doesn't have a fingertip feel
for social-emotional networks. And when I sat down with Isaacson five weeks ago, he told me how he
captured it all. They had Kansas spray paint and they're just putting big axes on machines and it's almost like kids playing on the playground. Just choose them up left
right in center. And then like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, he doesn't even remember it, getting the
bars, done an excuse being a total f***. But I want the reader to see it in action. My name is Evan
Ratliffe and this is On Musk with Walter Isaacson.
Join us in this four-part series
as Isaacson breaks down how he captured
a vivid portrait of a polarizing genius.
Listen to On Musk on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
Tune in to the new podcast,
Stories from the Village of Nothing Much.
Like easy listening, but perfection.
If you've overdosed on bad news, we invite you into a world where the glimmers of goodness
in everyday life are all around you.
I'm Catherine Nicolai, and you might know me from the bedtime story podcast, nothing
much happens.
I'm an architect of Kozy, and I invite you to come spend some time where everyone is
welcome and kindness is the default.
When you tune in, you'll hear stories about bakeries and walks in the woods.
A favorite booth at the diner and a blustery autumn day.
Cats and dogs and rescued goats and donkeys.
Old houses, bookshops, beaches were kites fly and pretty stones are found.
I have so many stories to tell you and they are all designed to help you feel good and feel connected to what is good in the world.
Listen, relax, enjoy.
Listen to stories from the village of Nothing Much
on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hey, this is Justin Richmond,
Tosla the Broken Record Podcast.
Join me and co-hostly arose for in-depth creative conversations with the artists you love.
Over the past five years, we've interviewed some of the most legendary figures in music,
like Paul Simon, Ferrell, Damon Albar, Andrew V. Thousand, and Usher.
And you'll hear from rock icons like Pete Townsend, who shares wild stories about his
formative years with The Who, and Johnny Mar, the legendary guitarist and co-founder of The Smiths, who has an unwavering devotion to his craft. Or the stories behind
the legendary hits Babyface wrote for Whitney Houston and Madonna, plus how he collaborates
with the new generation of R&B stars like Kailani and Dogey. Listen to Broken Record on the iHeart video app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.
Pa Show.
Want to thank Nikki for being on the show and for letting me know what Carl's been thinking.
Carl, was she accurate?
Did she say everything the right way?
Do you like, do you like being on a podcast?
Oh, good boy.
Oh, good boy.
Oh, I can tell what he's saying right now.
He's saying I like being scratched. Oh, I can tell what he's saying right now. He's
saying, I like being scratched. Yeah. I've got a gift. Here, you stay there. Put your
head. Oh, good boy. Nothing to plug. Boys wear pink. Check that out. Carl and I will be
on a walk every day. We walk at least three miles a day. Is that right, Carl? Oh, your
full of shit, Daniel. We walk every three days,
maybe one mile. I know, but I like to tell people that I walk you every day, three miles,
because that's what a good owner would do. You know, his breath doesn't stink. I don't
brush his teeth, but his breath doesn't stink. And maybe that's because I use a good dog
food, just food for dogs. I need you to sponsor the show. Your dog food is great. My dog loves it. Both
my dogs like it. It's just very expensive. What do you think I pay for dog food? I don't know
the answer. It seems like it's a lot. Well, I'm getting the sign to wrap it up. Thanks for listening.
I'll see you next week. You do whatever you want. Go ahead.
Thanks for listening, I'll see you next week. You do whatever you want, go ahead.
Once upon a time, it was all the way around.
The mommy said you can't go outside all the way around.
So one day it will win, twin. They thought it's outside.
And they ran outside, and then the man won one.
It was funny and they noticed.
The end.
Walter Isaacson set out to write about a world-changing genius in Elon Musk and found a man addicted to chaos and conspiracy.
I'm thinking it's idiotic to buy Twitter because he doesn't have a fingertip feel for social, emotional, networks.
The book launched a thousand hot takes, so I sat down with Isaacson to try to get past the noise.
I like the fact that people who say I'm not as tough on musk as I should be are always using anecdotes from my book to show why we should be tough on musk.
Join me, Evan Ratliffe, for On Musk with Walter Isaacson.
Listen on the iHeart Radio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
or wherever you get your podcasts.
Tune in to the new podcast, Stories from the Village of Nothing Much. Like Easy Listening, but for fiction.
If you've overdosed on bad news,
we invite you into a world where the glimmers of goodness in everyday life are all around you.
I'm Catherine Nicolai, and I'm an architect of COSI.
Come spend some time where everyone is welcome and the default is kindness.
Listen, relax, enjoy.
Listen to stories from the village of nothing much.
On the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
This is Jazeal and Robin and we're the host of Reasonably Shady on the Black Effect Podcast
Network.
This is the podcast that you want to listen to to feel like you're in the living room with your
girlfriend, your driving the car with your girlfriend, you having that good girlfriend talk.
We do hot topics, we talk about reasonable and shady things. So get into it.
Join us every Monday for Reasonably Shady and tune into the latest season of the Real Housewives
of Potomac. Subscribe to Reasonably Shady on the i the latest season of the Real Housewives of Potomac.
Subscribe to Reasonably Shady on the iHeard Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your
favorite shows.