Tosh Show - My Kid’s Music Teacher - Musiic Galloway
Episode Date: July 30, 2024Daniel sings the praises of his children’s music teacher, Musiic, as she talks about dealing with celebrity parent clients, performing alongside Prince, and choosing sides between Kendrick and Drake....See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Have you sang Not Like Us with kids yet?
Nobody's coming.
It's got to.
Right?
Yeah. Not Like Us. Yeah. Not Like Us. Nobody's coming. It's got to. Right?
Yeah.
Posh show!
Posh show!
Posh show!
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Praise Jesus.
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Shout out to Krishna and Vishnu.
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You forgot Buddha.
I forgot, fuck.
Buddha, big boy. I love you too.
It's the Olympics that has gotten me into this mood of just loving everyone.
No matter where they come from, love the Olympics.
I don't love all the events.
There should be three events in the Olympics.
Swimming, gymnastics, and running.
The end.
Don't even give me started on dressage.
Fucking horses.
Get your own Olympics.
These games are for people.
Breakdancing.
Oh man, so excited about breakdancing.
Who gives a shit?
Beatboxing.
You put that in the Olympics, I'm watching.
Which country can beatbox the best?
Get that old drunk Justin Timberlake?
Dust off his hand?
Huh?
That old drunk.
I don't think he saw that coming.
No.
Ah, the Olympics.
I've never been more prideful of my homeland.
Germany.
Oh yeah, that's right.
I love all the Olympics too.
Got the Paralympics, the Special Olympics,
and the Re-Olympics.
Do they call it the Re-Olympics?
I don't think they do.
I think they just call it Olympics.
Yeah.
Remember when Johnny Knoxville did that movie
about the Special Olympics?
Right. Woo!
You wanna talk about things that wouldn't fly today.
I think anybody's name that's in that credit
from start to finish should be canceled.
What we need is a golden Olympics, 70 plus.
You know like how they did the golden bachelor?
Right.
Which was a rating success, but for true love for him,
turned out to be a disaster. And the reason is
is old people don't deserve to be in love again. It's just gross. You don't
need it. Just stop. You're done. You don't need love. You don't need
intimacy. Nobody wants to watch you kiss. It makes me sick to my stomach. You like
watching old people kiss?
That's a weird fetish. Is there old people porn? Yeah. Dylan.
God damn it. Dylan's disgusting. He likes the sounds they make.
Alright, so I want to do a Golden Olympics. 70 plus and it's all the same
events.
You're telling me you wouldn't want to watch
an 80 year old woman attempt the vault
just as fast as she could down that runway
and just hit it and see what happens?
Oh, that would be fun to watch.
I just feel like we gotta give old people one last hurrah.
You know, it could be an Olympic event.
Singing, why isn't that competitive?
There's tons of competition shows for singing.
What country has the best singers?
We would dominate singing.
You know who we could send to represent our country?
In singing?
Today's guest.
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Posh out.
My guest today is the only person I can tolerate
coming to my house knowing that they're gonna make
as much noise as possible. Please welcome my son and all his friends favorite music teacher, Music.
Hi.
Hello to music.
Hello to music.
Hello.
It's beautiful to see you.
That's it.
That's it.
It's beautiful to see you. That's it. That's it. It's beautiful.
I don't participate in the classes with my kids because singing, for me, I'm always very
self-conscious and I've always been embarrassed to sing out loud.
But I've, you know, years I lurk.
You lurk.
I lurk.
You're always there at the end.
I love it.
I listen.
All right. Let's start music. And your name is music, so we got to get that out of the way real quick. Extra I always there. I love it. All right, let's start music.
And your name is music, so we gotta get that out of the way.
Extra I in there.
Extra I, let's make it different, they said.
You have two musically inclined parents that were?
One, one musically inclined, one fan.
Mom fan, dad musician.
Okay, and they're like, let's just go with music.
Kind of, it was a fight for my dad. But yeah, mom's like, let's just go with music. Kind of.
It was a fight for my dad.
But yeah, mom's like, that's it.
That's her name.
No middle, no last.
But I did end up getting a middle and last.
You did?
Wait, wait, no middle and last?
Yeah, she was just like music.
Okay.
All right.
You know what I'm saying.
It's just hippie stuff.
Would you consider yourself a hippie?
No.
Hippie-ish.
I'm on the border. You're definitely a hippie. You think so? Of course you are. a hippie? No, hippie-ish. I'm on the border.
You're definitely a hippie.
You think so?
Of course you are.
You see that?
Okay.
All right.
Do you believe in ghosts?
Yes.
Yeah, I haven't seen one, but I know they're there.
How do you know?
I feel it.
I see shadows.
I see shadows.
Those are real.
I don't know if those are blips in my eyes
or if that's a fucking ghost,
but I feel like there's ghosts.
Do you love your name growing up?
No.
It took me a middle, you know, I put it,
my middle name is Kia, and I would say,
just say it together, music Kia.
Like I made a whole nother, yeah, it was weird.
Music Kia?
Yeah.
I don't know, I'm not calling you music Kia.
It's too much.
I know, and then when I got older,
I'm like, yeah, let's just drop it.
You were right, mom.
Did you feel pressured to become a musician?
I don't think so, no.
I didn't feel pressure.
I just always loved it.
Just kind of always doing it.
Now you're a musician in every sense of the word.
How many instruments can you play?
Just guitar, my voice.
I consider that an instrument.
What about piano?
I mean, I can bang some shit out on normal, you know,
on some basic chords and kind of
while I'm writing, like kind of go to the piano.
The genre of music that you perform is rock?
Rock, singwriter, you know, song, singwriter.
Do you love performing live?
You know, yes, I do.
It's a whole thing.
It's nothing else.
You know, I think I'm best when I'm live
because you can't help but to be, you know?
It's kind of there.
People are waiting for you to do.
I like it.
I like playing with other musicians and listening.
And you know, I started off as a background singer,
so I like listening and jumping in there
and vibing with people.
So I love live.
And who have you sang with before?
Macy Gray, you know who that is?
Yeah, I know who Macy Gray is.
Really?
Nika Costa, do you know who that is?
Some other dumb people that I didn't know.
I don't care to mention.
You got to sing at Paisley Park.
I did.
With Prince?
With Nika Costa.
He invited her to sing there
and it was like he appeared out of the floor.
Pretty cool.
It's like, this is Prince.
I think he gave me a compliment on my solo.
I'm just.
What did he?
He said, whoever opened their mouth
and saying, you know, tell me something good.
And I was like, oh my God, that was me.
That's great.
I know. Well, that's pretty good. No, he, oh my God, that was me. That was me. I know.
Well, that's pretty good.
No, he got to be in my orbit a lot.
Did you love Prince?
Oh my God, yes.
We roller skated, hung out at his house at night.
It was just rad.
Your dad did vocals for Bonnie Raitt,
Michael Jackson, and you too?
Yeah, he was on a lot of stuff.
So I was drug around in that, you know, in that arena.
Was that bad for a kid growing up?
Uh, I wouldn't do it with my kid, but it was some fun stuff. drug around in that arena. Was that bad for a kid growing up?
I wouldn't do it with my kid, but it was some fun stuff. Hey, congratulations.
You're an empty nester now.
Almost.
Six weeks.
Six weeks since she's leaving, are you gonna be so sad?
So sad.
I mean, I'm gonna be there for a few weeks,
just hanging out, lurking.
Does she sing?
She does, but that's not her primary goal.
That's her hobby.
Your kid's going to New York.
She's going to Pratt.
That's exciting.
I know.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
Is she excited about it?
So excited.
I think like to the, I don't think she's ever coming home.
No, she'll come home.
I don't know.
I'm looking at apartments in Brooklyn.
I'm like.
Oh, would you move there?
100%.
Oh man.
I love Brooklyn.
And I don't know.
I get why you love it, but it's just like,
I was just getting sad thinking,
oh, am I gonna like follow my kids around?
Yeah.
Yeah, you are.
Yep.
They just wanna be there, even if they don't want you,
you just kinda wanna hang out, like,
I'll just be there.
Were you always cool, Mom?
I must be, because she's throwing all the parties
at my house lately, so I must be.
They said I was the chill mom.
I don't know how that happened.
Is it because you have gummies?
Everywhere in like little corners.
Right, kids.
No, I am chill though.
I just want to make sure they're cool
and like I'll drive them all.
Here's what I want for my children.
Yeah, tell me.
I just want him to be nice.
He's 100%.
That's all I care about.
And he is.
I know because when he's not, I fucking get real angry.
Right?
That's kind of my deal too with my kid.
I'm like, I don't care what, you just cannot be an asshole.
Right.
You cannot be rude.
Like I will shut shit down.
Just be sweet to people and I will fucking,
I will do anything.
I'll get you anything.
That's what I say.
I'll fucking get you anything,
but you better be nice to people.
And then you somehow stumbled into singing with children.
Really interesting, unexpected jump, yes.
How did that happen?
A friend of mine, a musician I sang with a while ago,
she just drugged me,
like come see what I'm doing with these kids.
It's just sweet, it'll make you feel good.
You know, and that literally at that time in my life,
I'm like, okay, didn't need the money
and it did make me feel good.
Everybody's giving me a hug afterwards, you know?
I was being all healed and I was like, okay.
So whenever I had time in between tours,
I'd call them like, I can teach for a couple weeks.
And that's what I did.
But when I had my kid, I'm like, yeah, let's do this.
Pretend we haven't met before
and describe what your classes are like.
So my classes are a, like, let's have fun, experiment with different types of sounds.
I'm going to make you sing.
I'm going to make you dance.
But this is just to open up your musical, you know, genres and like just introduce the
kids to different rhythms, different sounds.
We're playing.
I'm in the moment.
That's where that's, I guess, my skills, like, we can kind of make it up in 45 minutes.
Double time!
Crazy time!
Woo!
Your energy is what nobody can match.
True.
When you're, like, doing it, it's like,
oh, here we go.
Yeah, it's like, oh, let go. I It's like, oh, I remember during the pandemic,
that's when I could really lurk on your classes.
Cause I could just like, I'd just be like watching them
sitting in front of the TV with you on the screen.
Just, did you enjoy the Zoom classes or not as much?
No, fuck no.
I got you.
Not the same.
Of course it's not the same,
but I thought you could have,
you were cleaning up during the pandemic,
because everybody else was like, oh, this is great.
They jumped on it.
I'd look at the Zoom and be like hundreds for a while, like two pages of people.
You know who was the last?
Carly.
Who was the last?
Like that was holding on to like people were dwindling off as the pandemic was going on.
I feel like Carly, they were just like, she's like, I'm still here.
I was like, I love you.
I'm coming to Malibu.
What's the youngest age that you start singing
with these kids?
I tell parents it's up to them, you know, two months.
Because then it's even more so we're doing more things
that we like and less, you know what I mean?
Less kiddy things, but yeah, as long as,
it's really between you and the kid.
You know, I'm trying to make you happy.
You sing whatever you want to sing, even if your voice sucks.
Just want to have fun.
My wife's voice is horrible.
She can't sing, but she's loud and that helps.
She's like a student.
She is like, she's the only mom in class that's like,
I'm here with you music.
I am going to do all the stuff.
Now, as a parent, I guess that you think my son was the greatest.
But do you even remember my son
or did they all just blend together?
No, I remember.
Todd.
And I'm not just saying that.
He's like Carly.
I mean, he's just a very focused student.
And like, I mean, student, you know what I mean?
I'm not a teacher either,
but he's just always so focused.
He's a little different.
Like he'll sit there and pay attention
the whole entire time
and do everything I say.
I don't know how you guys did that, but you did it.
I think it's Carly.
No, it has nothing to do with her.
It's you?
I know so many songs I know that are just from you.
That I just, every day of my life at some point,
I'm singing them.
I've got ten little fingers and they all belong to you.
I can make them do things just to wait and see.
I can shut them up tight. I can open them wide.
Yeah.
I can put them together.
I didn't write these by the way.
I just found shit along the way.
I was like, that's smart.
Rocket ship, rocket ship to the moon.
That's complicated.
That's like a 6'8", the whole thing,
and they don't even know their body's doing this little weird 6-8 thing and it's in there.
How important is it for children to learn to play an instrument?
Important? I think it's helpful.
When should I lock my kid into a room with a piano and be like, I don't know how to teach people.
He seems like he's into it. So lock him in, I don't know, six.
Okay, fine.
Obviously start with the rhythm first,
because you can get away with a lot,
if you have good rhythm, you can kind of fake your way.
That's how I fake my way through a lot of instruments,
is because I'm rhythmically okay.
My right hand's good, me and my left hand sucks,
but my right hand's holding down.
So I think if you start them off at drums,
and then go piano, so you're training their ears,
and then get them on guitar.
Oh man. We got this. That's so much. I got you, so I training their ears and then get them on guitar. Oh man.
We got this.
That's so much.
I got you.
So I got.
Bill and Sandy.
It's fine.
They're going to be just fine.
You don't sing traditional wheels on the bus bullshit with kids.
Cannot.
Can't do it. Just for my own sanity.
I feel like if you guys are having fun, they're gonna have fun.
And they don't hear, you know.
And what's for the children?
What's there's a...
Wu-Tang.
Yes.
Wu-Tang's for the...
All day for the kids.
Wu-Tang for the kids.
No, a lot of Wu-Tang I can do in class,
but I did do Shimi Shimi Ah a few weeks ago.
Some dad came in and was, what's that song? Shimi Shimi Ya a few weeks ago. Some dad came in and was,
what's that song? Shimi Shimi?
I was, oh Dirty Bastard?
Like, let's do it.
And the whole class,
ooh baby I like it raw.
I don't know.
Have you ever thought of having kids work on like a diss track?
A diss track?
No, never thought about that.
You a big Drake fan?
I am a big Drake fan.
You're Team Drake?
I'm not Team Drake. You're Team Drake? I'm Team Middle. I'm Team Middle. I'm not gonna talk about that. You a big Drake fan? I am a big Drake fan. You're team Drake? I'm not team Drake.
You're team Drake?
I'm team middle.
I'm team middle.
I'm not doing that.
I'm not going in and out.
I love Drake, but I hear what Kendrick's saying.
When you're from LA, I mean, it's kind of like,
they're not like us.
I feel that.
Have you sang not like us with kids yet?
No, but it's coming.
It's got to.
Right?
Yeah.
They're not like us.
They're not like us. They're not like us.
I can probably do that.
Now, you were in my son's life for many years.
Yeah.
And you would come out to Malibu.
Yeah.
And then, and then you stopped.
And I stopped.
You refused to.
Kind of.
You're not, you don't really like promote yourself.
I don't.
It's word of mouth and I gotta do what works for me
in my kid's schedule, you know?
And if it's Malibu, you guys caught me in a really good time
where it was like COVID and it wasn't a lot of traffic.
And I was like, this is great.
And I love the ladies up there.
It's very chill, it's very much my vibe.
That I'm really bad.
Like once I get attached to a class
and you get, I just try to keep going.
You know, no end.
And then until you started ghosting my wife.
I did not ghost her.
I was like, it's too far.
I can't do it.
She would write just the most heartfelt things
to get you. She really did.
And then you would just like,
oh, you put a heart emoji on it and that was it.
That's not true.
And I'm like, why can't you get music here?
And she's like, I don't know.
I keep trying.
I would if I lived in Malibu.
And it's just rude though, because it's like, to me,
here's the question I wanna, it's like a social experiment
for my children, because I have two children
and I wanna see which one turns out better,
the one that you sang to
or the one that's only met you one time.
But we're gonna try and see which one ends up better.
I think they're gonna be the same.
Let's talk about the fact that you go to a lot of these
like elitist communities with all these white bitches.
It's rough.
I'm scared.
Yeah.
Is that something that you're aware of where you're like,
oh, this is.
Aware, yeah, it's interesting. It wasn't something you sought
out.
Hell no. Um, I don't know how the 1% and that's where I'm at,
you know, and it's the it's word of mouth and they have
is there people that you're just like, no, I'm not gonna, I'm
not gonna work with you anymore.
Yes. Yes. I've literally looked at a group and been like, yeah, I'm not coming back.
And I was like, you all look dead.
And it came out like that.
I said, you all look dead.
Like, I couldn't help it.
They're just staring off in space.
They're not like engaged with their kids.
They're like, it's him little fingers.
I don't know.
I'm like, I'm fucking out.
Like, I don't have to do this.
Yeah, listen, your business model's unbelievable.
It works. They like it. They're sadistic. I don't know.
Talk about some of the crazy shit you've seen from these maniacs,
because you're going to their houses.
Yeah.
Honestly, I want to say that they are probably on their best behavior when I come.
So they probably hide, you know, people in the basement.
You have all kinds of scheduling problems,
because people would want you to do this constantly.
Yes.
And you just say no to everybody.
Pretty much.
Yeah.
Because I just can't do it.
Yeah, because I do two a day as my tops,
mentally, emotionally.
Because sometimes I am there for hours afterwards
and everybody is talking to me and crying.
That's on you for not leaving.
Just say you have to go.
No, they're crying and they need a hug.
What are you talking about, the children or the parents?
The parents.
Who the fuck's, what woman is crying on you?
Ooh, a lot.
Why, why are they crying?
They're emotional.
Something's happening in the class.
I think, I swear to God, there's like so
unintentional somatic work that's happening
because I think because I'm making them sing,
then they're like beating the shit, you know?
I'm like, this is your chance to beat the drum.
And then they're making them dance.
Whoever makes them dance.
Now they're loosening up in other ways.
Now I'm laying them down and playing them like landslider
some shit, like the waterfalls, you know, like this just,
and I'm like, okay, well let's talk.
And then I'm there for three hours.
You're a therapist for these fucking entitled assholes.
Yeah, sometimes it's rough, sometimes it's rough.
This lady one time she goes,
my husband's been gone for like two weeks music,
now I feel like you.
Like I'm like a single mom like you.
I was like, ooh bitch, no you're not.
No you're not.
You and I are the same.
No.
We're the same.
And I'll say that shit.
I'm like, bitch, no you're not.
How much you charge for classes, my wife won't tell me. Ooh, I'm a lot. It just depends, I do say that shit. I'm like, bitch, no you're not. How much do you charge for classes? My wife won't tell me.
Ooh, I'm a lot.
It just depends.
I do as a group.
So it's like eight classes, like 2,000 for eight classes.
But people can split that.
The host can split that with however many people.
What if you show up to a class
and they have like 30 kids there?
Oh, I charge way extra.
Anything after seven kids.
Uh-huh.
Boop beep.
Okay, any famous moms that you've ever turned down?
Yes, but I don't turn them down because of them.
I just don't have the time and I'm not gonna,
I'm not gonna rearrange because.
Why won't you sing Paris Hilton's kid?
Oh, did you find that out?
Did I say that?
I don't know.
Damn it.
I didn't have time.
I didn't have time and they're apparently pissed about that.
What about nannies with their kids?
Sometimes I prefer their nanny over them.
Depends on the mom, they're way more.
I told Carly that when we started having you sing
in our house, I said, I go,
no nannies are allowed at this house.
I feel that though, I vibe that.
Like then you're like forcing parents to be involved
with their fucking kids' lives, yeah. But sometimes the parent, I don that though, I vibe that. Then you're like forcing parents to be involved with their fucking kids' lives, yeah.
But sometimes the parent, I don't know,
they need those nannies better than them.
What's the worst thing that these moms can do?
Talk the whole time.
Talk on their fucking phone,
talking about how cute the baby is.
I'm like, why don't you guys talk about that afterwards?
Do you hang out afterwards
and like to chit chat for a bit or no?
With most of my classes, it's interesting.
A lot of classes have parties, full on parties afterwards.
Spreads and drinks, mimosas.
Now I know why you stopped coming.
That's why I stopped coming.
Where's the booze?
We didn't do any of that shit.
No, I don't need all of them.
That would be way too much.
I'm going home after this and bringing up,
why the fuck didn't you have champagne?
We're looking like second rate citizens here.
No, thank God.
Every class could not do that.
It would be ridiculous.
And I'd be drunk all the time.
What's your drug of choice?
Weed.
Mine's attention. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Who eatin' food? I don't know. No, I had a teleclass. I'm like, maybe we don't have sprinkle cupcakes every week, you know?
Because now they're just thinking about sprinkle cupcakes,
and I'm thinking about champagne, and maybe we don't.
We would always make these really healthy muffins.
Yes, something nice like that.
And you would eat those things.
I like her.
They were disturbing.
But I like...
They're not even real ingredients. Or I'm sorry, it's all vegetables and I like. They're not even real ingredients.
Or I'm sorry, it's all vegetables and stuff,
but it's not a real recipe.
She's just blending things up and calling it a muffin.
She fucking hit the nail on the head
a lot of times though.
And I don't know if it's because I grew up
like earthy crunchy like that,
but she was killing it, those carrot muffins.
Are you a vegetarian?
I've never tasted beef or pork,
but I don't consider myself a vegetarian. You've never tasted it.
Never had a hamburger, bacon, nothing.
I don't eat beef, but I've certainly tasted it.
Your folks just were like, yeah.
They were hardcore about it and not like just on the health tip.
What about your siblings? Are they?
Oh no, different. They eat meat. I'm the only one.
So they love meat. So I'm just the only one.
You're the only one with an original name and you'm the only one. So they love meat. So I'm just the only one. You're the only one with an original name.
And you're the only one that doesn't eat meat ever.
Ever.
Have you had famous musicians, kids,
have you done class with them?
Does that intimidate you in any way or no?
Fuck yes.
Certain, like one of my favorite guitar players was in there
and I'm like, shit, like, of my favorite guitar players was in there
and I'm like, shit, like, you wanna play?
You know what I mean?
Like, do you wanna play it for me?
But then I was so validated
because they started coming to two classes a week, you know?
So by himself, like without his nanny,
he was just coming with his two kids.
And I was like.
Okay, at least he brought his kids.
Huh?
I said, at least he brought his kids.
At least he brought his kids. He did bring his kids, least he brought his kids. At least he brought his kids.
He did bring his kids, but he was rad.
You know, there's a few, there's a few
that I'm like, God damn, I just start sweating inside.
And I'm like, I'm not that great.
And they're like, you're great.
And I'm like, am I?
I don't know.
It's intimidating.
Some people are intimidating for sure.
Who is it?
Tom Morello, do you know who that is?
From Raging Against the Machines?
I know him. Okay.
Is that the person I told you the story about?
Tim Coma Ford.
Tim Coma Ford, yeah.
Yeah, he always, he embarrasses me
when I see him in public.
Does he?
He's a fan of my comedy.
I love it.
And he starts screaming at me.
No.
You're comedies.
And I'm like, okay, please stop doing this.
Oh my God, I love it.
This is horribly embarrassing.
Why?
That's so cool, because you're actually funny.
Am I the only person that's ever carried all of your stuff?
The only one, and I talk about it and brag about it
to other dudes all the time.
And that doesn't make them pick it up?
A couple people.
When she shows up, she's got, in the back of her car,
she's got a million instruments for the kids to play.
It's a huge bag, it's probably 60 pounds.
And that was my job.
I was just always so impressed by that.
I mean, it's like on the dot,
you're waiting to pick up my stuff.
I was like, I love him.
No, I tell every dad, just so they feel small.
Good.
Dads are shitty.
It's shitty.
You ever slept with any of your students' dads?
No.
Definitely not. Do you. Right. Definitely not.
Do you want to?
Definitely not.
All right.
A lot of dads come to class, and the handful that I do, they're so awesome that you wouldn't
even, like, they're in a good place.
Not me.
I've been on a rocky road for a long time.
Yeah, all right.
You're stupid.
What's your dating status right now?
Single.
You all horned up?
Yep.
Huh?
Totally.
Are you dating?
No, I broke up with someone.
No, it's been a good six months.
Six months is a great amount of time to get back into.
Exactly, that's where I'm feeling.
Are you, will you jump on the apps?
No.
You do it old school style.
I need people to introduce me to people.
I've been on the apps, jumped on for like 24 hours.
Uh huh, and then you were like no?
Like six months ago, I was like,
this is the same fucking dudes that were on here
10 years ago, last time I was singing, that's sap.
I was like, but I am, so I don't know.
I always give everybody a gift on the show
because I just take stuff from my house and I give it away.
Oh, okay.
I just walk around my house.
You just do?
Yeah.
That's amazing.
Two things, one thing I wanted to give you.
This is a book my wife wrote,
but I think they stole your story.
It's a woman about being a music teacher.
Things go off the rails.
So interesting.
Someone called me about a book.
She agrees to do musicians for like wealthy infants Things go off the rails. So interesting. Someone called me about a book.
She agrees to do musicians for like wealthy infants
in New York's Park Avenue.
Anyway, I just want you to find out
if they stole this from you.
I think someone hit me up about this.
She was like, I think this is your story,
but she's in New York and it's like,
this is awesome for you.
What the fuck is this?
It's a piano that you step on, you know?
Oh, yeah, I can definitely use.
You give this to a kid.
Okay.
I can definitely use this.
I don't want it, but you know who gave me this?
Not in class, I'm bringing this to glasses.
I'll do whatever you want with it.
Really?
I don't like it.
And they're shorts.
You know who gave me this?
Who? Mona. Oh, who? I don't like it. I think it's shorts. You know who gave me this? Who?
Mona.
Mona?
Oh, Mona.
I love her.
She's hilarious.
Yeah, well, she gave it to me.
I said, I don't want it in my house.
Okay.
So I was like, Mona.
And Mona, Mona, she tries to pretend
like she's not a white girl in Malibu
just because she's Egyptian.
Right?
I love her.
But I'm like, you're still a white chick.
She's so fun.
I love her.
She cracks me up.
Do you consider Egyptians white chicks?
Guess not.
You don't?
I don't.
No, all right.
All right.
Then fine.
Then she counts as somebody different.
Maybe that's, yeah, I don't.
I'm taking this shit.
No, I'm hype about this.
Cause someone told me about this.
Have you, any of the kids that you've taught
when they were little,
have any of them grown up to a part now
where you're like, oh no, they're a singer now?
Yeah, there's a, yeah.
Are you serious?
JJ Abrams' daughter, like she came to a few classes,
and I think she's doing really big.
I think she just opened up for like Taylor Swift.
Yeah, she can sing.
She can sing.
So you sang with her when she was a little kid?
Yeah, her aunt was huge and she was like,
you gotta have me and my niece.
She was so sweet, so sweet.
That's the only one I could think of that's like doing like,
but I've gotten lots of videos where the bands are ridiculous
that they're in, that they're doing.
Have you ever thought about like,
you sign all these kids when they're two to three
to like these lifelong contracts?
That would be amazing.
You should just try.
You don't want any part of that, you know?
When they say that everybody has a joke. Well. I don't want any part of that, you know.
Everybody has a joke.
Well, I feel like this is because of you.
I feel like if he becomes the next Sam Smith,
well, that's not the one I'm going to use,
but something like that, it's because of you, you know.
Wait, what's the kid with the red hair?
Sing your song.
Ed Sheeran.
Thank you, Ed Sheeran.
Someone just said that.
I think he's going to be the next Ed Sheeran.
It's going to be because of you.
I'm like, that's amazing. Was that kid ugly?
Is that, what was the point?
He's so beautiful and he's amazing.
I like that.
He's just very guitar, yeah, I don't know.
But I do, there's some people that I'm like,
the apple is like the next Bowie or something, you know?
You can kind of see it.
And one of them, like that I said that about,
he's on Broadway, you know, so.
The writing's on the wall for my kids.
They're not gonna be the next Bowie.
You don't know.
Well, but you do.
I think we got some time.
I think we got some time to see what's happening.
Top five favorite musical acts.
And before you tell me, I just want to say that
Fish is one of the worst bands of all time.
I just had to air that out. Jam bands are awful, all right?
Grateful Dead, Widespread Panic.
No, I agree.
All of them garbage.
Now continue.
I agree.
I'm just saying if I look at something like that,
fucking Dude's a Fish dude.
I might play it just to appease him.
Yeah, I don't listen to Fish or the Dead.
Top five music, I gotta say, man, that's really hard.
I'ma try.
Radiohead.
That's not weird.
That's my top.
Biggie.
Wu-Tang.
Okay, that's hip hop.
Go over there.
I don't know, this is so hard.
I come from that PJ Harvey, Queens of the Stone Age.
Throw those in there.
That's five, technically.
That's technically five.
Did you like Tori Amos ever?
I did.
Go through a phase with her?
Yes, I did.
All them bitches.
Tori Amos, like I'm gonna tell you the Holy Trinity.
Tori Amos, Arne DeFranco, Bjork, PJ Harvey.
That's where I'm at.
Bjork always, I was like, I can't do it.
Really?
I mean, maybe if there's one or two key songs,
but like I'm not artistic enough to appreciate it.
And she would say, but it's pop music,
and I make it for everybody.
And you're like, no way.
I'm like, I'm gonna say shit's weird.
It's so good.
Like, I probably love like 95% of her music.
If you could be in any band.
To sing background for?
Or any version of it.
Or any version.
Say if a band has a lead singer that you could pull it off and they die,
and now they want to continue on.
Oh my God.
But they want to bring in music.
Jesus.
I mean, it's a great scenario.
It's a great scenario.
Like that only happens to guys.
I can only think of like guy bands where there's...
It's never happened where they brought it, they've replaced a front man.
It can be a guy and they replace it with you.
And they're with a...
But you're saying it's never happened.
That's interesting, why not?
That's sexist.
I mean, it seems like those old bands are the ones that are replacing Journey and The Dead.
I can't even think of a younger band that has replaced...
We've got to find somebody.
Put a hit out on somebody.
Yeah, because I can't think of a band I would not...
If you asked me to sing background,
like anybody could bring me out of like my background
in retirement, it would be like D'Angelo.
Oh.
Singing those backgrounds in his music.
All I think about when I think of him.
What?
I just think about the V.
That body of, ugh.
That's all I think about the V.
As a boy, the first one, when you're a kid
and you see that on MTV, you're like,
oh shit, I might need to do some sit ups.
Right, that shit was crazy.
I was in love with that.
Camera was so low back then.
It was like just kept.
Just right there.
You released an album in 2023?
I released a couple songs.
Okay.
Hell Mary, help me Jesus, oh Buddha, he's a witch. Released a couple songs. Okay. Will you try to release a full album now?
That's what I'm working on.
Now I have time.
She's gone all the time, you know, and she's just out with her friends and that was my
main priority.
Will Ten Little Fingers be on that album?
Definitely not.
I heard you do sound baths now in music class for like adults.
I'm starting to because everything that's happened with the kids, all the ladies are
like, can we just do this without the kids?
You know, because they're, they're not like, not everybody sits there like, you know, somebody
just running around after the kid and they're like exhausted.
And so they're like, can we do this without the kids and some wine and food?
And I'm like, yeah.
Are you gonna get rid of children altogether?
Hopefully.
What?
Not all the way, but I started this to hang out with my kid.
Now I have an adult as of yesterday.
She's a full adult.
So yeah, and it's time to start a transition.
But there's also like a dynamic between a teenage girl
and her mother that you can't really fight against.
Oh my God, it's crazy.
Cause also we are so much alike,
so it's almost just too much.
You guys ever fight over the same guy?
Yeah, no.
She's more like, who's that?
Like, I hate him.
Who is he?
All right, music, anything you need from me for the rest of your life, you can have. I love them. Like. Ah ha. Who is he? All right, music, anything you need from me
for the rest of your life, you can have.
I love you.
I got my keyboard, so.
And my book.
That's garbage.
Well, I do, I am coming to play pickleball.
Okay.
And I'm bringing tacos.
Huh?
We're gonna play pickleball and eat tacos?
Yes.
Oh, I love it.
Yeah, they're vegetarian tacos.
Do you play pickleball?
No, but I'm sure I can.
It doesn't look very hard.
It's not. That's why I'm dying to can't. It doesn't look very hard. It's not.
That's why I'm dying to do it.
It's fun and stupid.
Exactly.
All right, see you soon.
See you.
All right, see you soon.
Bye.
Bye.
I'm out.
No.
Ha ha ha.
This could be the craziest podcast pairing ever.
The governor of California, Gavin Newsom, and Super Bowl
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Sleep tight.
That was enjoyable.
I want to thank Music for being on the show.
I also want to say that she looked incredibly thin.
Now, I need to get to some business.
You know, sometimes I plug things on the show.
I ask for free shit and sometimes they sent it to us.
Recently Stance, they, I said, I like their socks.
They sent us nine pair.
Now I don't want to come across as an ingrate, but nine?
There's four people that work here.
What are we going to do with nine pair of socks?
We each get one and a quarter. Oh, Listen, Stance, send me a hundred pair. A hundred pair of socks, not nine pair.
Or I'm gonna start wearing bombas. You's this?
Nope.
What's this?
Los Angeles?
No, no.
Let's see who wins this battle.
New York City?
That's not bad.
I like New York.
All right.
Yeah, that one's not bad either.
Beer League. All right. I'll keep one's not bad either. Beer league.
All right.
I'll keep, I'll keep New York and beer league.
That's the thing.
When you send stuff, I pick through it.
Then the rest of the guys get the stuff that I don't like.
So five candles is nice.
You know, 20 would be the right number.
Google, and they got it right.
They sent us a box of stuff.
I'll be removing sticker residue well into my hundreds.
Eddie, you drink bourbon?
I do not.
Nah, that's a shame.
Jim Gaffigan, hysterical comedian, friend,
sent me a bottle of his own bourbon.
Father Time came up with his own bourbon,
wrote a whole letter. He's just sending it to people. sent me a bottle of his own bourbon, father time, came up with his own bourbon, wrote
a whole letter.
He's just, you know, sending it to people.
And then if they can promote it or put on their social media, I guess, that helps them
out.
I'm not going to do that, but I'll acknowledge that he sent me it.
What do you think of that, Carl?
You like bourbon?
You act like you do.
Well, good for Jim.
And by me talking about it, I think he'll be like, all right, that was nice.
Got to stand his good side.
Boy, cause you got to stay on Jim's good side.
If you're on Jim's bad side, oh man, he'll have you blackballed.
Blackballed from the industry.
No, couldn't be a nicer fella.
And I'm happy that he has his own bourbon.
What else we got?
A plug, The Goat, all episodes are on Prime right now.
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Got a tour, I'm in San Inez, Vegas, New Orleans, Hawaii, second show added in Honolulu.
What else?
Carl, you got anything going on?
Anything fun in your life?
You look scruffy.
Ready to go play in the mountains with me?
Go for a hike?
Yeah?
You think you could intimidate a bear?
Like push comes to shove.
What are you doing when a bear comes in front of us?
Nothing?
There's a drip gonna fall off your nose.
Oh, I just saw it.
It went into your mug, your coffee.
I love you.
You love me?
Carl, you love me?
You love me?
All right, another one of my son's bedtime stories.
See you next week.
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What's good?
It's Colleen Witt and Eating While Broke is back
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We're serving up some real stories and life lessons
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