Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 10 - Esa Tikkanen

Episode Date: October 9, 2015

Ricky, Julian and Bubbles are in Helsinki, Finland, and are joined by hockey legend Esa Tikkanen! They discuss greasy Finnish facts, crazy hockey stories, and how to get a buzz on in a country with no weed. And find out why Bubbles is about to get a boot up his ass! Episode Ten is brought to you by the world-famous El Mocambo live music venue, 464 Spadina Ave, Toronto!

All right. All right. Are we officially underway, Ricky? You got to call. I'm calling it? Okay. No, I want to call it. For fuck's sake.

It's a go. Episode number 10 of the podcast. Or podcash, which I like better still. Podcast. Podcast. Live in Helsinki, Finland. Beautiful Helsinki, Finland. With a fucking very special guest.

Yep. Today. Bit of a rock star over here. Bit of a rock star, hockey legend. Asa Tickner. Asa, how you doing? Good. Thank you. Welcome. Welcome doing? Good. Thank you.

Welcome. Welcome to the podcast. Thank you for doing this with us. Fucking Edmonton Oilers dream team. 85 you started, right? Yeah. You know, in the Oilers. Five Stanley Cups.

Pretty amazing. So I got to ask you, right out of the gate, what was it like fucking being on the ice playing Gretzky? It was great. And, you know, it was great and uh you know it was great to play with him same line 89 when they traded him into los angeles i have to shadow him yeah skating around with him in the like ballet dancer all the way ice was was uh that time greatest player in hockey and still nobody even compares in my box?

No, definitely some records that will never ever be broken for sure. Yeah. Fucking awesome. Wayne Gretzky, do you still talk to him? Probably. Yeah, I talk to him after, you know, Bollfar quit the hockey now and we're doing different things and he's still in Olympics we see in Vancouver and he was just in London, it was the soccer game. He's traveled lots.

He stands out with Wayne Gretzky. That's pretty cool. What about the other guys like Top Coffee and Yari Curry and those guys? Well, Yari I know because he's in the expo here and we're doing it together, everything. But one thing is great is, you know, coffee, I see. And we're doing this old-timers tours in the US, in Russia and Finland. So he's playing with those, too.

Oh, my God, I got to get down and see that. Somebody just dropped this off. What is it? I don't know. Well, somebody just dropped this off. What is it? I don't know Yeah, I bet you he knows what is it? Oh, yeah, no, it looks like that's a beer. Oh, yeah, is it good? Yeah, it's good golf. It's one the bone story and I okay in Helsinki Alright give her a world Completely straight and sober right now for this pot cash, which I'm not real happy about. Boy, this is one of the best goddamn cookies I've ever had in my life.

It's like a rainbow Chips Ahoy cookie, but for some reason, Finland, delicious. Does anybody want a beer? No. Oh, we good here. Okay. That's not bad. Yeah, it's alright? Not bad, yeah.

It is pretty much impossible, or maybe not, just for me, to find weed or hash over here in Finland. So, needless to say, I've been straight for how many days now, bubs? I think it's been, what, four or five days since you've been high, Ricky? Quite a fucking difference from Amsterdam when we had tears streaming down our fucking faces. That was nuts. Yes, it was. Excuse me. Ricky. Yeah, it's funny.

I mean, Snoop Dogg, he warned us. He said, Sweden, not a good place to be, you know, smoking and stuff like that. But Finland, it's just, it's tough here. You can't do it here. Not bad. I don't mind the fact that there's not weed everywhere over here. No, it's good. I mean, I do like to drink, and there's tons of booze here.

The bars are good. There's tons of bars. But it's expensive. So if you come here and want to get drunk, you've got to have a lot of money. That's a tip. That's a travel tip. Oh, wow, that's really fucking fascinating, Julian. We've got S. Deacon in here.

Maybe you could let me ask him more stuff about hockey. Ask him. Ask him. Today is about hockey. Who was the craziest player on your team? Well, I think it was Dave Semenko. Not the craziest, but toughest. Oh Oh yeah, he was a tough bastard. Holy Jesus, you would not want to mess with that guy. No. I used to remember there was a guy in Sunnyvale that always said, Yeah, I beat up Dave Semenko.

He's full of shit. Oh, I know he's full of shit. The guy was only about 5'9". He said he beat up Dave Semenko? He used to say that all the time. Who was that? What's his name? The guy that works down at the pizza shop. Walter.

Yeah. Walter's an idiot, man. Walter never fought Dave Semenko. There's no way. He couldn't beat up Corey, let alone Dave Semenko. What's all this shit that they got for us here? Anything good here? I don't know, Ricky.

Well we got some Helsinki facts here. Oh yeah. So maybe Esther can help us out with some of these because... I don't know how the fuck to pronounce it. I mean your language is really difficult. You can look at like, you read some French and you're like, okay I can kind of understand that, but your language, you have no idea. There's nothing like close to English in it, is there?

Well, I like this one here. Yeah. Maybe you know this. A war cry used by the Finnish army during World War II. Do you know what their war cry was? Atulta munile. That's it. Atulta munile. Name it. Which roughly translates to fire at their balls.

Yeah. That's some dirty business. That would suck. Well, I mean, it would work. It's hard because we was in a war against Russia, so we have to do something. Yeah. Oh, that would suck. If you're going to war with somebody and you hear them all over there,, fire at the fucking balls,

you would be- You'd be terrified. I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of that. You'd want to leave. That's a great fucking- You'd run. That's a great war cry. Remember you used to scream something like that?

Grab their balls, was it? I have no idea what you're talking about. Remember when we used to play ball hockey, you would... Grab them by the balls. Spear them in the nuts. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, spear them in the nuts. Right, I remember.

Now... Wife carrying championships. What's that all about? Yeah, you guys have like a wife carrying championships every year? Every year in the film. You take your wife in the back or you carry her and run some mile. If you're going first, you win.

Oh yeah, you gotta run through like swamps and all kinds of crazy shit, don't you? The prize is the wife's weight in beer. Your wife's weight in beer. Well, that'd be a problem. I wonder in beer. Your wife's weight in beer. Well, that'd be a problem. I wonder if they'd swap it out for, like, rum. The other time you kind of want to be married to someone a little heavier. That's going to be a lot harder to carry.

Brecky, what do you mean? Would you just marry a great big lady just so you'd win more beer? Well, I guess she'd be harder to carry it might slow you down but yeah the bigger the chick the more of a buzz on you'd get yeah but ricky it'd be if you have like a if your wife's like 450 pounds you're gonna have a lot of beer but there's no way you're gonna cross the finish line i wasn't you're not gonna drag your wife through a swamp. I was thinking, you know, maybe buck forty, buck fifty instead of ninety-five. Four hundred and fifty pounds. That's a big lady. That's a big mama.

That's a big lady. That's a lot of beer though. I wonder how many kegs that would be. She's playing NFL. Yeah. Like a linebacker. Yeah. Linebackers in the NFL aren't that big.

That's a lot of beer though. Ricky, are you sure there's no weed over here because those cookies I ate, something's Well, give me one of them. Something's kicking in. Jesus, I'll take any of those cookies. What's this shit? There's weed in these. Will this give me a buzz on? Yes, that's whiskey.

J-Lo V-ina. What the fuck is this? He doesn't even know English let alonee-e-na. What the fuck is this? It's not J-lo. He doesn't even know English, let alone. J-lo-v-e-e-na. J-lo-v-e-e-na. J-lo-v-e-e-na. J-lo-v-e-e-na. It's like J-lo-v-e-e-na.

The J is silent. Cracker O'Clock. That's good. All right, we'll give her a whirl. What's this here? This here's like a vodka. That's vodka. Cuscan Gourmet.

All right. It smells like whiskey or scotch. Yeah, that's between there. This is not. Okay, what's this? The Sami people, or however you say S-A-M-I, of northern Finland. Sami. Sami people.

Have a unit of measurement called the Poronkusima. Poronkusima. Ah, Poronkusima. Poronkusimausema. Ah, poronkusema. It was close, wasn't it? The distance a reindeer can walk before needing to stop and take a piss, as they can't do it at the same time. They can't piss and walk at the same time? Nope. So there's a distance of measurement they use where how far a reindeer can walk before he has to piss?

It says it's about six miles. Six miles. So they don't put the good thing down. Do you piss every six miles? If you really had to take a leak and you're like, oh, man, I'm never going to hold it, you just got to walk. You can't piss while I'm walking. Well, until you got to piss so bad that you can't walk, then what happens? You piss yourself.

And you pissed yourself. Did you ever piss yourself, happens? You piss yourself. And you pissed yourself. Did you ever piss yourself, Ethel? Yeah, I did. You pissed yourself, who hasn't? When's the last time you remember pissing yourself? You told us a story about Gerald Ford. President Ford, that's around 30 years ago. That was one of the times, wasn't it?

One of the times, yeah. Can you tell us that story? Well, that was when I was rookie in 85 in Palm Springs playing golf. I have to shoeshine President Ford, and I think about it, he was a car dealership. You thought he was the president of Ford Motor Company? Ford Motor Company, yeah.

And shoeshine means to go to put? Put the ketchup in the shoe. Oh, man. And I have to go under the table, and there was ketchup, and I took the ketchup in my hand, and suddenly I know that I heard a click-click gun in my head. Secret Service. Secret Service pulled me out under the table and said,

keep your head down, and took my ass and my neck and here we're going in a small room sitting there and they're coming pissing my pants. I was two hours there waiting for what's going on. And then our cleanser, president and coach come and say, welcome team mr. Dickon and then we're going back in the dining room and there's everybody whole team standing ovation and saying welcome to team and I go to eat my steak cold steak to our say you get a chance to like change your pants nope it's sitting much here and that's a team player right there. That was unbelievable. So that was your initiation onto the team.

They did something where you almost got shot by the Sacred Service. Yeah, that was welcome to USA. And NHL. Oh, man. You can't really do stuff like that anymore, I don't think. You can't force people to. This is not bad, actually. No, I know.

We should get our buddy Weck to fucking start serving this at the Elmo Combo. What is it? Oh, that? Maybe he will? Elmo Combo. Maybe he will. Have you ever been to a bar called... It's named Elmo Combo?

It's in Toronto? Toronto. No. No? Okay. It used to be like a hot spot like years ago, and this guy we know is fixing it up, so. I don't know.

You're going to Toronto next week, aren't you? Yeah. When you're there, maybe I should check you out. Next month. I'm going next month then. Next month. Maybe we'll come up. Lots of good live music.

We'll come up and take you to the El Macombo. Excellent. It's the place you ever hear about Margaret Trudeau? She got together with Mick Jagger. Okay. It was supposed to happen there at the El Macombo. No way. Yeah.

That's a bit of history for you. Canadian history. Oh, I'm in a rookie again. Yeah. Julian's mother used to hawk out front of it, too. She was a hawker out front of the El Macombo. No, she didn't. Bob, that wasn't very nice.

I don't even know my mother. What's the deal with this bad, bad boy, this naked kid that's pissing? Yeah, there's a statue. Did you ever see the one down by the water there? The big alien-looking dude that's, you know, he's pissing. Yeah. And you can, like, run into the piss if you want and play in the piss. It's kind of a weird statue.

Why? That's a great shower place. Okay, it's a good place to shower if you're homeless and you need to take a bath, go to the bad boy statue by the waterfront. It's by this little hot dog stand. It's not really urinating. We went there yesterday and Julian kept going in and opening his mouth and pretending like he accidentally let a pest in his mouth. No he didn't.

It's pretty weird. It was weird. He's like, oh, I just look up the airplane. Oh, I got pissed in the face again. You guys are lying. But that's a great statue, right? It is. It's a pretty fucked up weird statue, but yes. Where are you looking there all the time? It's a pretty fucked up weird statue, but yes. Where are you looking there all the time?

I just, you know, need to read a little closer than the average person, that's all. But what do you think? It's that lady. Oh, she's going to be there. How's the beer, Puffs? Good? I think it's pretty good. What's it? Cough?

Like Paul Coffey? Yeah. Cough, they used to call him, didn't you? Yeah, Pizza Face. Pizza Face. Pizza Face. Pizza Face. We met Paul Coffey. Yeah.

He has a car dealership now. Yeah. What do you got about him? Let's hear a coffee story. Well, a coffee story. Anything crazy that ever happened to him? Oh, well, lots of things happened to him. One of the greatest defense ever play in NHL hockey.

Absolutely. He was fast as fuck. Oh, he never stopped. Yeah. Hard to catch him. I got to play in a celebrity hockey game with him. Yeah. I was on a line with him him and who else was on that?

Russ Cortnall. Oh, Russ. Russ Cortnall and me and Paul Coffey. And first shift, guess who gets a fucking goal? Coffey sets me up in the slot, boom. Top corner, bubbles. That's who. Wasn't Reggie Leach there he wanted to fight you? He was pissed off at you about something.

Reggie Leach was? Yeah, he slashed him or something. He wasn't too happy about it. Wow, Reggie Leach said he wanted to fight you. He was pissed off at you about something. Reggie Leach? Yeah, he slashed him or something. He wasn't too happy about it. Wow, Reggie Leach better fucking watch himself. I'll fight Reggie Leach. You think you can take Reggie Leach? Maybe not. All right, I say if you're talking to Reggie,

Bubbles wants to fight him, so I don't know if you can set that. No, I don't. Don't tell Reggie Leach I want to fucking... See, I knew you'd back out. You're full of shit. You know what? That's the second lie you've done today. I like trash talk, but not if, you know, somebody's gonna bring Reggie Leach in. He's gonna stop the fucking lying, boss. Reggie Leach probably pound the piss out of me.

I think he's coming doorbell next week. Oh, for fuck's sakes. There you go. Now I did it. Shot my mouth off. Now I'm going to have to fight Reg Leach. Are you still playing, Esa? Yeah, I'm doing a little charity games. Cool. And I'm waiting for, you know, it's a tournament coming in, all-time in World Cup.

And start the next month and it's going to be in five teams in a group and it's going to be exciting. You have to be 45 years old and five years of the hockey so it's excellent. Oh that's cool. So you guys may be sort of good. Hansen brought us. You guys should come and play too. Yeah that would be wicked and cool. You just tell me when and I'll be there. People call me, like when we play ball hockey in

Sunnyvale everybody refers to me as young Wayne Gretzky don't they? yeah I guess so. Just the way I move you know reminds people of Gretzky. Yeah you're pretty good skater not so good on rollerblades as we found out this week but I'm pretty good at ice skates. I'm fucking excellent on rollerblades. All right. Young Wayne Gretzky. No comment. Young Wayne Gretzky, that's what they call me. I don't know, Bob, because I think, I haven't heard anybody call you that.

No, I've heard. I think it's just because you're obsessed with them. I've heard hundreds of people. Hundreds? Hundreds. Bob, you're so foolish. Your mom? That's lie number three, Bob.

That's not, Julian. If you make it to five lies, I'm going to boot you right in the nuts. Okay? That's a deal. You've got to stop your fucking lying. Well, Glenn Sather. Glenn Sather said he saw me on the TV, and he said, oh, that reminds me of you. Glenn Sather said it?

Yes. So you've got his number, like, on speed dial? We can ask him? Yeah. Okay. We'll save it. You lie one more time. I'm just saying I heard that. I'm not saying he said it. I just heard a rumor that Glenn Sather thought I...

You're just, you're full of shit, Buffs. Well... Essie said there's a guy that was on the Oilers, that worked for the Oilers that looks a lot like you, or looked a lot like you. I forget the name. Who? Joe Moss. Lickin' Dender and then Joe Moss.

Oh yeah. I know who that is. He's 40 years working in Edmonton, Orleans. Yeah, he's still there, right? Yep. And what's he do? He's like, he sticks and... He's doing sticks and cleaning in the dressing room and, you know, washing in the towels,

underwears, and still singing all Canada every game. Yeah, he sings, does he? Val Thoreau. Wasn't he in a commercial that was, like, on for years? TV commercial? Yeah. Yeah, OK, that's I know. Yeah.

That's the guy. He says Gretzky. Yeah, all the time. In the commercial. Oh, yeah, you do look like that guy. I don't. A little bit. I mean, you think about it, he said Wayne Gretzky, too. Yeah, he's, I mean, there you go. A little bit. He think about a he-so in Gretzky too.

Yeah, he's... I mean, there you go. That's right. There you fucking go. Maybe I do look like him. Maybe we're both very cool looking. You ever think of that? No. Bob's man, you're on edge today, man. You're just on... I don't know if you're trying to impress ESA or what you're doing, man.

You're just... you're kind of being a dick today ever since you got a sauna with all those dudes After the invented weird edge to you. Well, I don't know I got fired up in there I guess What's with all those saunas over here? That's what oh, it's great. So nice great. There's 1.5 million saunas Which is like one for every three people. Yeah, that's a lot of saunas, which is like one for every three people. Yeah. That's a lot of saunas. Yes. Everybody loves to go to sauna, summertime, wintertime.

Like, we have lots of lakes. Lots of lakes? Oh, yeah. And we go to swimming almost every summer, every time. And still, in the wintertime, we're doing holes in the ice and going to swim. Holy shit. Really? It's great. It's great wake up, and the saunas are great.

We go with the ladies together, sauna, you know. Yes, I love to get in a sauna with a lady. But Bubbles, you were saying that it was all men in one sauna and all women in another sauna. Or were you just making that up? Well, that's the way they made me do it. I couldn't get in the ladies sauna. I don't know. I don't know how it works.

I didn't know I had to get in. I think that sauna's called a brothel. That's what that kind of sauna is, Bubz. I wasn't at a brothel. You were at a brothel. Yeah, I was looking for your mom. Oh yeah, you want to start that, do you? Well, you already started with my mom.

You want to start that, do you? Who I have never met before in my life. Thank you for that, pups. Well, people in Helsinki walk their cats in the park on leashes. No free range kitties allowed and hold cat agility competitions. Well, there is lots of dogs and cats in the city, so they have a park in the dogs and cats, so they can run around.

Do you have to walk your cat on a leash? Yeah. Wow, that's fucked up. Kitty leash. Like tigers and lions or like regular house cats? Ricky, what do you think? House cats? Ricky, did you see anybody in the park walking a fucking lion?

Oh, I don't know if they have lions or tigers over here. Yeah, we have. I mean, there's two. Oh, yeah. We have those. We have zoos. So I wonder what this whole cat agility competition thing is. Like, what would that be?

That'd be like a super cat cat show. I wonder if there's any money in that. Nope. There's no money? Okay. Fuck that, then. We're not doing it, bubs. Well, we could. Well, if you're not going to win money. We're not doing it, bubs. Well, we could.

Well, if you're not going to win money. I noticed it gets dark a lot earlier over here, too, so you guys must have a different sun than we have, because ours stays up even today until about 8 o'clock at night. What do you mean, a different sun? Well, people are saying that it stays lighter out longer in the summer, almost 24 hours a day, and then not so much in the winter. It's darker more, so it's definitely not the same sun we have. Ricky, there's only one fucking sun. Well, how could it work different lights in different places?

Oh my God, Ricky. Ricky, Jesus, Murphy, it's just the way the Earth, the angle of the Earth and the way it's going around the sun. You think Finland has its own sun? I don't fucking know. It's a different part of the earth and the way it's going around the sun. You think Finland has its own sun? I don't fucking know. It's a different part of the world. It could. No, it can't, Ricky. Do they have moons here? They have a moon, the same fucking one we have. The moon, it's called.

Alright, well. Alright, here's the question. You learn something new every day, don't you? Was there anybody on your team that you played hockey with that was as stupid as Ricky? Because, I mean, you've got to hang out with them every day. Was there a guy that you used to play with that was just, like, not all there? Well, I think about it sometimes. Marty McSorley. Exactly.

Marty McSorley. I heard he's done a lot of crazy shit. Oh, yeah. Sleeping in a window open in the 40 below. It was unbelievable. I tried sleeping in the car with no door in the winter. That's true. So there are a lot alike. You might get along just fine.

There are a lot alike. And you were roommates with him for a while? Yeah, so long he played in Orleans, I was rooming with him and he was a great man. He was taking care, you know, watching my back and watching Gretzky's back and then Gretzky was straight at 89 to Los Angeles. He's going after there and he's made a movie star, big movie star there. Yeah, he was in Con Air, with Nick Cage, Con Air. Marty McSorley was in that. Was he? I was supposed to be in it. They were trying to get me in it, but I couldn't work out the schedule. Here comes another lie.

What did you say? Did you just lie again, Bubs? I missed that. You said he was supposed to be in Con Air, and they were trying to get him. Okay. I think it was Con Air, wasn't it? Remember when the Hollywood fellas were like, hey, we want you in our movie? No, I don't remember any of that.

I don't think it ever happened. No, Bubs, that's lie number four. You've got one more. One more and then what? You're going to get a boot right to the nuts. You're not booting me in the nuts. We'll lie again. Vodka's actually pretty tasty.

Who's the dirtiest player you ever played against? That's a good question. I know there's totally lots of them. Oh, there's Claude Lemieux, I think. Oh, yeah, that bastard. He was a son of a bitch. He tried to be like me a little bit, but I was Mr. Nice Guy beside him. So they called Gretzky, I remember they called Gretzky the Great One,

and they called you the Great One, spelled G-R-A-T-E, because you used to grate on people's nerves. No, no, no, not me. Nice. But the game is different, okay, guys? Be nice to me. I was asshole. I was asshole.

I love your fucking stuff. I'm serious, I was assholey nice, but outside I'm a nice guy. You seem like a good guy. I play like you. I like to play a little rough and dirty. Ricky's the dirtiest player on the ice you could ever possibly imagine. Oh yeah Ricky just opens the stairs people doesn't give a fuck he just eat. What you have to do everything what you can do win the game. That's right. So long did referee let you play hey you play play that's right everybody just remembers

the fucking final score it's true and if you won you know five Stanley Cops obviously you're doing something right and how many fights you got him well right fights oh I have to take care, 85 couple times have to fight. But the biggest thing was when I was 15, I was in Canada, Regina. Yeah. You guys in Canada, you know where is Regina. Yeah. I play Regina pads.

I learned to play hockey there. Tough. Bill Laforte was coach. A little crazy. I was youngest player in the Western Hockey League. I learned to fight a little bit, play against Wendell Clark. Oh, yeah.

Who kicked my ass first time I was 15, he was 17, he kicked my ass and I learned. Yeah, I don't doubt you learned something there. Wendell Clark was a, Wendell Clark, fucking. He's a good little scrapper. Henry McSorley used to tangle a fair bit. Yeah, they do it a couple times.

I learned it then. Then we played, when they played Toronto, I played in Edmonton and he looked at me, are you that little boy who I beat up? I said, yes. Try now. No. That's right. That motherfucker.

Yeah. That's awesome. Nice. Nah, he should have went out and slashed his tires after the game. That would have been awesome. That's what Ricky would do. Oh yeah, Ricky. He's done that before. This is pretty good boys. Yeah, it's good too. I had a shot of something last night though that was fucking terrible. Oh that liquorice shit that's salted. What's it called? Salmiakki. It's salted. What's it called?

Salmiakki. Salmiakki. Salmiakki. Salmiakki. Oh. Lageritz. Same as there. Do you, yeah, but that's, you like that stuff, salmiakki?

Yeah, salmiakki's good. Don't take 20, just couple. Yeah, I just had one and it was just like. Is there some salmiakki over there? Yeah. I've never tried it. Here. That's salmiakki.

No, that's just liquorice. Right there. That's not the liquor that I had. If you put that one there, it's called salmiakki. Oh yeah? That's how they do it, that salmiakki. Julian, you gotta have some salmiakki later, because I want to watch you throw up. Salmiakki later, because I want to watch you throw up. Salmiakki liquor?

I'll try it. Yeah? There's a nice little pink candy in here, too. Salmiakki is not my thing. No? We've got salmiakki. You know what it tastes like? Those little goodies that have the candy coating around them?

Yeah, well, that's not what the liquor tastes like, believe me. No. The liquor is fucking just like drinking gasoline, in my opinion. Well, I'll have to try it out, bubs. Yeah. You're liking the vodka though. Yeah, it's kind of making me want to go to the bar. Yeah, I hear ya. These are going down pretty good. You know what boys, I just realized something. Why. You guys have like beer down there, vodka. Yep. Some more booze. Here, do you want a beer? I've got a bowl of chips, some salmiakki, and half a drink.

What do you want? Do you want whiskey or vodka or beer? I don't want the beer, man. Give me the whiskey. Just a second, I gotta talk to Will. There's no rum, I'll drink fucking whiskey. Well, I'm keeping the vodka. I'll just drink that straight. Coming in hot.

Nice grab. Nice catch. Thank you. Thank God I didn't. If I had missed that in front of a side, I would have been, I would have looked like a serious fucking dick. Yeah. Would have felt bad.

It doesn't matter that you caught it, you still look like a serious dick in front of him. Who was the biggest dick on your team? Or I guess you probably can't say, you might be dead. No. Did you say who had the biggest dick? No, but now you've just asked that question. No I didn't, I am asking you if that's what you asked. I said who was the biggest dick like Julian.

Oh. Not who had the biggest dick like Julian, because he doesn't. Well, you know what? How do you know? That's what I've been told by a couple of the girls in the trailer park. What are you talking about, Ricky? You're so full of shit. Sarah said you saw your bird. No, she didn't.

Yeah, Sarah did say she saw your bird. Sarah did not see my bird, man. That's what she said. She described it as thick, but not long. Yeah, she said it was like a stone in a can. Like boys. She said it was like a can not long. Yeah. She said it was like a tuna can. Like boys. She said it was like a can of tuna. We've got to stop fucking talking about this shit.

All right? We've got a special guest here. Like, he doesn't want to hear this shit. Well, I'm just, you know. You guys are fucked. Cocked like a tuna can, she said. Would you shut the fuck up, please? Oh, Jesus.

I'm gonna start doing you a mess. Me too. God damn it, I wish I had something to smoke. Well, should we go to the bar, boys? I think it's time to go to the bar. I wanna try this salmiac-y stuff. Oh, yeah. I can't wait for you to fucking try that. Maybe we should go to the bar and have a drink.

Last night in Helsinki. Yeah, I'll go you at the pub. Try that. Maybe we should go to the bar and have a drink. Last night in Helsinki. Yeah, I'll go to the bathroom together and see who does. But, Ricky, what is wrong with you? I just think it's something we need to settle. Do you, like, stare at everybody? Like, when you go to the bathroom up against the urinal, do you, like, peek down at everybody? No, but Randy does.

No, Randy does, but I think Ricky does as well. Jesus. If you see one of those fun facts, it'd be good to know. Why? Rick, you're fucked. It's because I'm straight. It sucks. Okay.

What sucks? That he's straight. Yeah. If this was last week. Oh, straight. Yeah. If this was last week. Oh, straight. Like, not drunk. What the fuck did you think I meant? I don't know.

Blacking out. Oh. Blacking out. Let's go to the fucking bar to have a drink, shall we? I'm in. All right. Yes, I hope we didn't waste your fucking time. Thanks for coming.

Yeah, thanks for coming. My pleasure, boys. It was great to hear your stories. Telling some stories there. This was pretty awesome. I'm a huge fucking fan. This is amazing. Sorry we were talking about birds and everything else, but it was fun.

Somehow I gotta meet, you know, I haven't met Wayne yet. Gotta meet him someday. Gotta meet Meshay, Gary Curry. I met McSorley and Coffey. I gotta meet the whole Dream Team. You necked with McSorley and Coffey?

No, I met them, I said, Ricky. I met them. I shook hands with them. I went out and drank. He's telling you this with no coffee. You missed the one guy. Who? Who am I missing? Grant Fiora.

Well, yeah, Grant Fiora, obviously. The best goalie ever. Best goalie ever. He was unbelievable. I can't believe you forgot about us. He was, you know, it seemed like he was superhuman. He was. He was lefty. Yeah. He was unbelievable.

Grant Fiora. Yeah, until he got banged up. Okay, on that note, let's go have some salmiakki. Salmiakki, all right. This is over and out from Helsinki, Finland. Awesome. Thanks again, Esther. Thank you, old guy. See you again soon. Cheers.

Just wait, we gotta end it with this war cry. How do we say it? Tulta munile. Got it? Oh, Tulta munile. Yeah. Tulta munile. Check out the new fucking episodes of the Dragons,

and I guess Wex back on. He's supposed to be the best dragon. Julian definitely says he's the sexiest. We'll see the new episodes and find out. Everybody knows he's lying. He's the one that likes his hair and thinks he has bedroom eyes. Bedroom eyes? Yeah, you said that last time.

No, he was talking about Peter Forsberg. Oh, oh. When he was talking about bedroom eyes. I never said bedroom eyes. Don't come on the land. Don't come on the land. Wolf eyes. Cheers.