Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 100 - Sunnyvale Celebrates Canada’s Borntday

Episode Date: June 30, 2017

The Boys are on the liquor hard for Canada’s 150th borntday and their 100th podcash! They roll out the red carpet for Trinity, Sarah, Cory, and Jacob, and they’re joined by a bunch of drunk and stoned dickheads from the park! Episode 100 is brought to you by the Official Trailer Park Boys Store and the Boys' own Freedom 35 lager, now available across Canada!  

Okay, boys we are rolling. Ricky, sit the fuck down. He's not a dick. He knows how to lick and he brought his Bic. I'm Canada Man. Okay, sit the fuck down. Sit down Canada Canada Man. Can I get this started, please? You can get it started. What's going on, fuckers? This is the official Trailer Park Boys podcast. Is that how you're going to do it? No, no, I'm getting into it.

What's he saying? Podcast coming at you right now. We are Drunken High in Sunnyville. Did you say Comcast? You totally fucked it up, man. Look, I'll show you how to do it. Yeah. What's going on, everybody?

Woo! Welcome to the 100th episode of the Trailer Park Boys podcast. Woo! What up? Celebrating Canada's 150th fucking birthday. Fuck yeah. We are in the heart of the Sunnyvale Trailer Park. Cheers, boys.

Yeah! We did it. Say hi, everybody. Woo! Nice. We got fucking... Kind of lame, kind of not great, but... Well, fucking you do one better than Canada, man. No Kinda lame, kinda not great. Well, fucking you do one better than Canada, man.

No, yours was good. They were lame. You were good, man. I thought you did a great job. We got Canada man here. Way better than fucking Julian. He's an official mascot of the Canadian people. Fuck with me, Canada. You fuck with me. Alright, let's get out. Okay, before we get out. Okay. Refn, okay, before we get going.

Yes. How fucked up are you on a scale of one to 30? I'm right now at about a 19 to 21 range, but I'm going to fuck with him 35 before the end of this fucking day. Now you're at 19 to 20 on a scale of 30, Rick. 24. I'm gonna get to 35 by the end of her, bud. 24. We have a fucking...

We're just gonna fucking roll the piss out of this one today. What's Chipper doing? Running around. Chipper! Come on, still rolling, still rolling. Yeah, this is a cheers to Chippy. Cheers to Chipper. It's the only time he's gonna get one?

It's the only time you're gonna get it, man. This is Chipper's 150th birthday as well. Cheers to the lovely Hannah. Cheers, Hannah. Hannah's an amazing, sound person. Right on. Okay, boys. So I promised the viewers, first thing up was that you were gonna strip.

Yeah! Or why am I cheering? Yeah, what the fuck are you cheering? That's not gonna... You know that's not gonna happen. So why'd you even say it? Today is a red tarpon event! That's right.

This is the first red tarpon event, and if you can... Probably have its con. ...notice there, we rolled out the red tarps that I normally use to put over my stuff when it rains. And now they are down. They are down. I think it's gonna catch on we should have more red tarpon events I think we should do Ricky the red tarpon event should be so why is there a red tarpon that's what the people we have gas fucking gas yes and

gas do you want to just bring in the first set of bring someone in man fuck it okay first time ever on the podcast. Are they here? Who is it? Hey, Sarah. Sarah and Trinity, come on in. Come on down the red carpet. You've got to come up the red carpet, though. Hey, please welcome to the stage Sarah and Trinity.

Ricky's daughter, Trinity, and Sarah are here for the big event. Oh, and we're shooting in fucking, we are shooting in VR today looking good girls what's up Sarah how are you? Hey Trin. Don't get too fucking drunk tonight alright? You might see your dad a little fucked up tonight. No, no, pace yourself don't get all fucking crazy tonight. I might be a little fucked up tonight. No, no, peace yourself. Don't get all fucking crazy tonight. I might be a little fucked up tonight, Trin. What else is fucking up? He's already fucked up. Sarah, squiggle in so that we get you on the VR. Squiggle? VR 180.

We couldn't do 360 because, well, there's some other things going on here. What's a squiggle? Squiggle in, like you just go squiggle, squiggle. I thought it was wiggle, wiggle. Or shimmy over. Shimmy over, whatever. She knew what squiggle. I thought it was wiggle wiggle. Or shimmy over or shuffle over. Shimmy over, whatever. She knew what I meant. Squifle.

Fuck. Squifle? Is that what you said? Squifle in? I said squiggle. Squiggle. Alright. Squifle? What's a squifle? I don't fucking know.

That was a type of rock, type of band in the 50s. Squifle band. Squifle ball. Squifle bands. What the fuck is a squiffle band? It's a squiffle ball. It's fucking windy here, boys. Fuck off, wind. The Canadian wind is like no other.

You're really fucking with my cape. Boys, Canadian fact. All right. All right. I just found this out when I was researching. Jesus Christ. I didn't know this. All right, shoot.

There's a place in Canada up near Hudson's Bay. Lots of places up there. No, Ricky, I'm not done. Oh. There's a place up there that has less gravity than the rest of the planet. I'm calling bullshit. No. Fake news.

That can't be real. Fake news. It's not fake news. I googled it. It's real. There can't be a place in Canada that has less gravity than other places. Yes, there is. If there was, everybody would go there and fucking play basketball.

How does that make sense though, Bubbles? Well, I researched it. A great big fucking meteor hit the Earth. Yeah, I heard about that. Like millions of years ago. The Hudson's Bay. Killed the dinosaur. Huge one and it made Hudson's Bay. Alright, now it's a bay.

But literally, the big fucking dent that it put in the Earth, it said in the article, it literally bent gravity. Come on. I'm fucking telling you. How do you bend gravity? With a bend box. You can bend gravity if you're a 5,000 kilometer wide asteroid. Gravity's like a force though, you can't bend it. No, that's fine.

It's not like a thing that you can bend. Tell that to Obi-Wan Kenobi. 5,000 kilometer wide? Are you kidding me? Well, whatever it was, 500 kilometers wide. Yeah, all right, that's good. 500, 5,000, whatever. That would take better. 5,000. That's a little... That would take us over 5,000.

Do you guys have any Canada facts? Do you know anything about Canada? I'm telling you right fucking now, if that place exists, I'm fucking going there and I'm gonna jump, just jump, jump, jump all fucking day. Well, that's great, Rick. Fuck. You could become a star basketball player.

It would be so much fun. Why would you wanna go there and jump, just to see how high you could go? Yes. There's one small area that says it's one-tenth of the normal gravity, Ricky, so you could jump. Wait, so how big is the area? If you've got about a two-foot vertical, you'd have a 20-foot vertical. But the important thing is you could jump off buildings, too, because you wouldn't be that big of a fall. Okay.

And just float down. How big is the area, though, that's affected? Is it like a tiny little... It's actually only this big. So what happens when you jump out of it? The size of a cup. And you get zapped by gravity when you get out of it? Yeah.

Like you can jump through and then gravity, you'd like fly up a bit. Yeah, like you hop up 20 feet and then you float over here and you just pound it onto the ground. So you'd want to jump up in the non-gravity and like jump down so that you wouldn't hit the ground hard. Kind of. I like that. Great fun fact you came up with.

That was great, bubs. I think that's a good fact. It's a good one to screw, I'll believe you. That was a good catch. Well, do you have a fucking scenario? Yes, I do. Is that the same asteroid that took over the dinosaurs? Didn't take over, there wasn't one.

It killed them off, took them over, whatever you call it, fuck. Because 75 million years ago, it says, there's dinosaurs living in a steamy forest and warm seas that cover what we now call it. Fuck. Because 75 million years ago it says dinosaurs live in a steamy forest and warm seas that cover what we now call Canada. A steamy forest? What the fuck is a steamy forest? What is a steamy forest?

It's really romantic. I've heard of it. Steamy shit. A steamy forest? A steamy forest. Is it from all the dinosaur shit? It's because it was very bog-like and swampy and the heat generated by the sun onto the mossy... Nope, that's fog. Okay, I don't know why it's a steamy forest. I bet it's hot steam coming from the lava below.

This kind of sounds like, you know, in Star Wars where Luke Skywalker kind of went trying to lift the X-Wing fighter out of the lagoon. That was steamy. So that's probably what it looked like. That's probably what it looked like. I'm confused, man. Are you obsessed with Star Wars? He's obsuused.

He's obsessed with it. Obsuused. Obsuused. Obsuused, I said. With Luke Skywalker and Han Solo. Doctor obsuused. You guys ever read Doctor Obsuused books? Who would you rather tee off on, Luke or Ann?

Luke or who? Is that even me, Luke or Ann? Luke or who? Is that even me? Luke or Ann? But Julian has a crush on Bo. Who the fuck do you want me to meet? What are you talking about? Have a little session.

He's asking who he'd rather have sex with, Luke Skywalker. Tee off on? Is that a euphemism for having sex? I think it might be. Tee off on.

I could tee off on somebody, but no, that's not. Are you kidding me? So, Rick, when you have sex, is it like a golf swing or why? I was just imagining them sitting there with the little thing. You put the ball in your mouth with a golf ball. That's like when you said tee off. Okay, I'm here.

Remember that, daughter. Jesus, I don't want to picture my daughter with a ball in her mouth. Well, you just kind of did. No. All right, we're going to erase that one. God. She's probably talking about Jacob, so it's extra fucking weird. Yeah, Jesus. God.

Don't get talking about Jacob's naked frame. There's alien balls in your mouth. Well. What do you see? That isn't. Okay, let's change the topic. Clara, do you have anything you'd like to say about Canada? Do you like Canada?

Yeah, I like it. I don't know if I have any facts about it, though. It's kind of embarrassing. Oh, you must know some facts. I have one, maybe. Well, you want to educate the world about Canada right now. What do you want them to know about it? I'm pretty sure that our favorite word here in Canada is A.

No. See? Disagree. See? You want to know a little known fact? It's the first letter of the alphabet. That's it. No, Ricky.

I never say A. She means A-E-H. I say A. That didn't even originate in Canada. All right. We also researched that. I mean, we got stuck with it. But it started, I believe it started,

like in Australia and New Zealand. They were the ones that started saying, eh, and then some of them moved over here. G'day, eh? G'day, eh? Is that it? No, that's... Is that your Australian accent? It's not...

It's not G'day, mate. Say more. How's it... G'day, mate. Uh... Yeah, I think that's the Australian accent. Oh, yeah, all right. That's Australian.

No, that's somewhere else. That's what I thought that's the Australian. Oh, yeah, right. No, that's somewhere else. That's what I thought you were talking about. It is. You just changed the name, right? I don't know where that's from.

You guys, everybody's just talking at the same time. This is awesome. Hey, look into the... Say hi to the VR people. Fuck off. Hi, VR people. Where are they from? Weirdo Vision. Where are they from? Weirdo vision.

Where are they from? Weirdo vision. Well, they're gonna be watching it from everywhere, Ricky. You don't even know what VR is. How are they gonna watch this? What are you gonna put it on? They're gonna put... For this camera, they're gonna put on their VR helmet,

and it's gonna be like they're sitting right at the table with us. So people that aren't from Canada are gonna see this shit, and you wanna try to get them... Yes!...learned about... I want to try to get them... Yes! ...learned about... I want to, yes, teach them about Canada. Well the first fucking thing that everyone probably doesn't know is that Canada doesn't, you know, what does Canada mean, right? The word. Yes, there's a good one.

And I think it could have been called can of peas because... What? From what my old man explained to me when the settlers came to Canada which is now called there was a bunch of native Canadians native people and they grew these fucking they called them da's but apparently dah means peas. And the fucking sellers got addicted to these fucking things, so they had to put them in cans to get them back over to where they came from to show everybody else how fucking great they were. So instead of calling it can of peas, which sucks, it's fucking lame, they used the native word dah for peas, and now it's can of dah. Can't. So they took all the can of das back over to the...

Ricky, this is what Ray taught you? Yes. It's wrong, man. It's 100% fucking wrong. It's better than can of peas. I guarantee you he made that up when he was high as a fucking kite and drunk. That doesn't make any...

So what does da mean then? I don't know what da means. It came from the word Kanada, right? Yes, Kanada. The native people, they called it that. They were saying Kanada to the dudes that came over from Europe. And what did Kanada mean? It means village. It means the houses over there, right?

It means village. The village. You guys are so fucking full of shit. Looked over to the fucking village. It was called, yeah, it's village. Kanada, village. It means village. I watched that commercial.

And the stupid European settlers came over and they're like, what's your country called? And they were like, we live in that village over there, Kanata. You guys are fucked. No, they're like, what the fuck are those things you're eating? Because they're goddamn delicious and we want to make soup out of that shit. And he's like, duh. So you're saying that they had cans of peas? Duh.

Well, we need those in cans. We need a can of dyes. It was originally can of dyes and they dropped the ass because it didn't make sense because there's only one. Cory! Well, look who it fucking is, man. What the fuck's going on? Get over here, man.

Cory, who said you could have that liquor? You can have it. It's Canada. I'm just teasing him. Good night, Eddie. Yeah, I don't like vodka anyway. I just want a quick drink. Who the fuck else is here?

It's not his time to talk yet. Yeah, I'm just getting a quick drink, dude. You get a quick drink, but you'll be on standby. Fuck if Chipper's being hardcore. It's not his time to talk yet. Chipper's telling us he... Don't listen to him. I'll give it to him.

Yeah, man. I'll put the lens right up your ass. If you can't hear Corey, it's because he doesn't have a microphone and somebody fucked up. It's probably... They can hear him on the camera. If you can't hear Corey, it's because he doesn't have a microphone and somebody fucked up. That's probably... They can hear him on the camera. I think they only have five. Oh. How the fuck do we only have five microphones?

Ricky, your cape keeps hugging me. That's a sign. Trinity and I think are going to take off, right? Yeah. We've got some shit to do. What are you guys doing later? Let's fucking get it on. You already told me you didn't want to talk about Jacob, so, I mean.

No, no. We're just going to go and not say anything. Okay, well, you guys send over Corey and Jacob. Okay, don't drink all the juice. All right, Trini, face yourself. Happy Canada Day. Face yourself. Get over here. Fuck, give your dad a fucking hug.

Oh, one sec, I'm giving my dad a hug. Happy Canada Day, baby. Happy Canada Day. What's the birthday, is it? Oh, yeah, it's a big one. 100. And 50. What's up with 100?

Huh? Something's 100. It's our 100th episode. 100th podcast episode. Boys, I think I might have to go to bed. No, Ricky, we're just getting rolling. We're just getting rolling. Other fun facts.

See, I'm starting a bit, boys. I'm double-fisted. I've got this on the go as well. Freedom 35. Freedom 35 canopies. Are we in a holding pattern right now? Well, do you know that Delta British Columbia has the postal code that spells vagina? What?

That's kind of cool. What? This place called Delta, British Columbia has a postal code, and the postal code is spelled V4G1N4. So the four is A. It definitely looks, especially with the buzz on it, it looks like a fucking vagina. All right, that's pretty cool. That's very cool. Canada created a one million dollar coin that is usable.

I'd like to have one of those fucking bad boys. How would you use a one dollar coin, one million dollar coin? Is that real? It says it is. Million dollar coin? That's fucked. What if you lost it? Imagine if you had like four or five of them. That'd be four or five million dollars. Exactly. And you'd have it in coins. You'd be like shitting yourself.

You'd bury them. You'd take them anywhere. Bury them like a pirate. You know what? That's what I'm gonna do if I ever make a million dollars. I'm gonna make a coin. Or get a coin. Or do it. How do you do it? You trade it. You take a coin, Ricky. If you... You should not have a million dollar coin ever in your life.

Never. Because you'd end up putting it in a fucking pot machine or something. Yeah, I would. All fucked up, you'd pop it in the... Or poke it in my laundry by accident. Pop it in a gumball machine. Yeah, I could totally see you doing that. Parking meter.

No, I don't use it. I don't fucking pick it. You don't want to, you've never, you've put money in a parking meter before. Boys, I think we're trailing off, are we? Fucking Jesus, boys. Totally. All right, let's get back on track. Okay, what happened?

Blacked out. Back on track. Where's Cory and Jacob at? Hey, what the fuck are those things covering in gold? Those are chocolates, Ricky. Fuck the hell over here with those. No, Cory, you gotta walk the red tarpon. It's a red tarpon event, you stupid fucking dumbos. Cory, you gotta walk the red tarpon. It's a red tarpon event, you stupid fucking dumbos.

Cory, you're right blocking the camera. Jesus. Please, welcome to the big event. The fucked... Cory and Jacob, hey! Let's hear it for Cory and Jacob, everybody. Fuck off. Stand on. Cory and Jacob.

This fucking thing's tripping up, dude. Sorry. Don't worry about it, man. What's up? What's up, dudes? What's up? Yeah, hand down. It's not gonna happen right now, bud.

Yes, sir. What's up, Jacob? Yo, thanks for having me, dude. Hey, man. Hey, Cory. How's it going? Pound it. Good.

Yo, man. That's cool. Heard you had your balls in my daughter's mouth. Huh? That's nice. You can hear that? Very easy. You don't gotta get into that. I don't want to hear about that shit. Anyway, I'd rather not talk about it. Whatever. Sounds like you guys are having a good time.

Yeah, man, we're celebrating Canada Day because it's like the 150th anniversary of configuration. That's right. Configuration. Okay, what does Canada mean to you, Corey? Let's hear it. Well, Canada's dope, man, dude. Okay, what does Canada mean to you, Corey? Yeah. Let's hear it.

Well, Canada's dope, man, and the Canadians, Canadians are awesome. Canadians constantly do really good. Yeah. Canadians that beat the whale, beat whalers. Yeah. The New York, what's the name, the Jets. Yes. Whatever.

Beat, like, the Detroit Red Wings. The Canadians are always cool, and today we celebrate that, too. No, no, no, no, no. I'm not talking about the Habs. Do you like Canadians? The hockey team? No, the Canadian, Canada. What's Canada?

Do you like them, man? Canada. What does Canada country mean to you, man? Well... Are you from here, man? Yeah, I'm from here. No, I mean, what Canada means, like, you know, it's like...

Apparently it means, like... Canapes. Huh? No, nothing's like... Apparently it means, like... Can of peas. Huh? I don't know. What are you talking about, Cory? Well, he asked me a question. Are you baked?

Yeah, a little. I'm a little drunk and I'm a little baked, but because we're celebrating Canada Day. I don't know what Canada means, dude. I just know I live here. No fucking way. I forgot about that. Jacob.

I cool. I thought we had no drugs. I got a joint, dudes. Jacob came to the rescue. Jacob brought the drugs. Light that up, Jacob. Whoa. I fucking forgot about it. Well done.

For you guys, now, the word around the park was one of you guys has Canada underwear on. Is that true? Well, I... How did that rumor start going around, bud? I don't have Canada underwear on, but I got some red shit on. Is Fruit of the Loom from Canada?

What? Is Fruit of the Loom from Canada? What the fuck are you talking about, Jacob? Where's the loom, anyway? Fruit of the loom, Ricky. No, I know, but what is the loom? It's a bird that sits out on the lake and goes, Ooh!

No, that's a loom now. That's a loom. No, that's what it is, isn't it? Fruit of the loom. A loom is a tree, dude. Fruit of the loom. And what's its fruit look like? Oh, no, a loom is like a sewing thing where you throw the shuttlecock under the fibers.

So what the fuck is a fruit? A loom fruit. That's from a loom tree, dude. I know that for a fact. I bet it was one of those fucking things that just didn't translate properly. A loom tree? A loom tree has loom fruit.

That's what fruit a loom is. It's like a fruit of the orange tree, fruit of the pineapple tree, a fruit of the- So loom means branch? No, a loom is a tree. And pineapples grow on fucking trees, do they? Or does loom- Yeah, dude, all fruit grows on trees, dude.

Pineapples don't grow on fucking trees, Larry. Where do pineapples grow, dude? In the ground. Pineapples don't grow on the ground tree. Where did the pineapple grow, dude? In the ground. Pineapples don't grow on the ground. That's some funny shit. That's good. Jacob's not wrong. Dude, that is.

What's wrong, buddy? Go ahead, Jacob. I thought you might like it. What the fuck is this? That's like saying pumpkins grow on the ground, dude. Jesus Christ. Is this real? I'm good.

All right, you don't want to give this to fucking Gordon. I don't know if we should be talking about this on Candy. It's such a Leslie celebration. What the fuck? Pineapples don't grow to give this to fucking Gordon. I don't know if we should be talking about this on Candace, it's a Leslie's celebration. Fuck you! What the fuck? Bye, Abel's little girl. Fuck you, where's my doll? I tell you right now, you two little bastards better get the fuck home.

They ran by screaming, fuck you last night. You could've talked to them. Fucking ball kids. What's this? Let's not talk about this, actually. Fuck. No, what is it? Read it.

Tragedy after Japanese porn star drowns while filming bukkake scene. Bukkake scene. Bukkake. What does that mean? She drowned. Oh, Jesus. Murphy. Happy Canada Day, whoever the fuck.

What the fuck? That can't be real. Who gave you those things? Drown in a bukkake scene. What is it? Ch can't be real. Who gave you those things? Drown in a bukkake scene. What is it? Chipper gave us this. I think he's fucking with us. I don't think that's possible.

It is actually possible, but there's no worse way to go. What type of a scene is that? I can't even explain it to you, Ricky. Explain it to them. Everybody wants to know, man. Isn't that like saying, though, if you say that's no worse way to go, isn't that like saying like, if you were to die, like, if you like sex, and you're dying sex, how is that a bad thing? Sex?

Well, it's not a good thing Cory. Because I would like to die, if I'm gonna die, I don't wanna fall out of a plane dude, or I don't wanna get struck by lightning, I want like... Bukkake? Well, not that. You wanna get into the bukkake? No, dude, or I don't want to get struck by lightning. I want like... Bukkake? Well, not that. You want to get into the bukkake? No, not that. I'm saying that if it would flip.

You want to be loaded to death, do you? Who, too? Is that still happening? No, that's... Yep. Well, I mean, okay, maybe. I mean, if I like that, then yeah, dude, that'd be dope. Okay, so that's how you want to die from a bukkake.

No, I didn't say that. And you'll be happy. Me and Heaven saying, right on. Yeah, dude, I guess. That's the way to go. So what was it again? I don't know. It's a nasty, wrecky bukkake.

It's just awful. I can't even talk about it or I'll throw up. Is it like when you're banging, you're trying to shotgun a beer and it's too much to deal with at once? No, you're not shotgunning beer. You're shotgunning something else, so. That's good... Jello?

Not jello. Not jello. Man jello. What is man jello? Like, jello, which thing does it come out of? The front beast or the back door? The front beast. Front beast man jello.

If you had man jello, would that make a woman pudding? Man yogurt. Jesus Christ. Try chugging a fucking... You couldn't drown on that. Try filling that with man yogurt and chugging it. People be drowning all the time. Men and women. No, Ricky, I'm talking about large amounts.

Well, what? Everyone doesn't have the same... No, I'm talking about... We're talking about a group effort here. Group effort, multiple, like a hundred, a hundred... All right, I'm totally confused. But if you had like a... A hundred yogurt makers.

If you had a swimming pool... I don't think I want to know what it is. And someone fell in, and they were like knocked out of some shit when they fell in, they could drown. In water? No, in, you know, yogurt. Man yogurt. Man yogurt. A swimming pool? Yeah, if you had a whole swimming pool of it.

Yeah, man, help yourself, please. Who the hell's gonna have a swimming pool full of man yogurt? I don't know, man, it's in the news. What news is it in? It doesn't say, no, not in a fucking pool. The person jumped into a swimming pool full of load. But that's how someone would drown,

because he said, how could someone drown? Or if somebody had one of those filled and they tried to fucking ingest it. Yeah, but you just coughed it up. You after might have a swimming pool full of man yogurt. This is a fucked up game. We gotta get off the man yogurt, guys. No more.

This whole fucking podcast is going down. Stop me. I'm going to totally change this. Whatever this is. Okay, Ricky. That's not going to help matters. I don't think. This is a new story from where?

Usually from Australia. A grot dog waitress caught putting hot dog in her vagina before apparently serving it to a customer. Dude, man, you guys just talk about sex a lot, right? We get handed these news bulletins and we just read them as we see them. Did you pay extra for that?

No, I don't think the guy, whoever she gave it to, they didn't know. And he ate it. Would you really be that upset? I don't know, man, dude. I'm saying... You wouldn't be upset, Ricky. Depends, I guess.

All right, so did she put the thing up or... Did she maintain it? Like right in the kitchen? Or did she go back and boop and then took it out? How did they catch her? I would say it was boop. Right there, right in the kitchen. Think it was for a random customer

or like for a specific person? Oh, look, there's 40... Oh, Jesus, look at that. There's 40 of her. All right in the kitchen. Think it's for a random customer or like for a specific person? Oh, look, there's 40 jubber. Oh, Jesus, look at that. There's 40 jubber. All right, all right. Caught on camera. She looks hot, though. Here, that's, Ricky can tell us if it's, uh, if he minds or not.

Yeah, I wouldn't give a fuck. That's not that bad. As long as it was maintained, showers, whatever. Ricky. Jesus, Murphy. Yeah, and there she is serving it. Oh my Jesus Murphy. Serving it to the customers.

That must be a weird fucking turn on for her. Must be. Or she just gets so hot she needs something. She forgot her personal playmate. I don't know. The what? The thing that gave them the first to take some batteries.

So you're saying that she put it up there, but she didn't just like in and out. She got there and she- No, he's saying she forgot her vibrator so she had nothing to use. So she got it going and then she served it. Yeah, that's what he's saying. Okay, that's fucked.

Boys, I got a good buzz on it. Oh shit. Me too, dude. We did talk about that one. That was a good one. Copy Canada, dude. Oscar did talk about that one. That was a good one. Oscar Mayer Wienerdrum designed to make it rain hot dogs. That's cool. Holy fuck, what's happening here, guys?

Ricky, Canada Man. Uh-oh. Okay, I'm back. Okay. Ricky, Canada Man. It's going to rain hot dogs, just like fucking Clyde with Chance the Hot Dogs. Cory, what's your best memory of living in Canada? I guess that's a weird question, because you've always lived in Canada. Being born here.

You remember that shit? Yeah. Me too, man. I don't know, but it's my best memory, because technically my brain worked when I was born here. I may not remember, but I technically have a memory of memory because technically my brain worked when I was born here. I may not remember, but I technically have a memory of it because my brain worked when I was born. So being born in Canada is the absolute best shit, dude. I remember it hurting a lot. What?

Boys, you did not remember fucking coming out of your mother's. That did not happen. No. What do you remember, Ricky? You remember it hurting a lot. Like trying to get out? Yes, it took fucking forever. See? So you remember getting squeezed, do you remember, Ricky? You remember it hurting a lot. Like trying to get out? Yes, it took fucking forever. See? So you remember getting squeezed, do you?

You'd go out and get a little taste, then you're back in, and then you'd pop open and go, what the fuck is going on here? And then you're back in. So you could think in English. You could think in perfect English. Incredible pressure. I'm not even a human yet, but what the fuck is going on here? I know English. Also, my first kiss, dude. That's weird. Who did you kiss?

Who was the lucky fella? Get it? It was a pillow, but you know what I'm saying? It was Trevor, wasn't it? Check it, the pillow had a picture of Alyssa Milano on it from Who's the Bar? You didn't kiss a fucking... So your first kiss was a picture. Yeah, but you know what?

This shit was dope. It was dope. Did she kiss back? Well, yeah. She did whatever I wanted to do. What about the first time you had sex, Corey? Did you get paper cuts on your wiener? I don't get it.

Get it? No. He was banging pictures, too. Oh, you should have mentioned the pictures. It would have made a lot more sense. How did you get paper cuts? No, I was thinking the pillow. He was, like, banging the pillow.

No, no, dude, I did a mattress the first time. The mattress was some shit. What do you mean you banged a mattress? Bacon. I didn't. Kenna makes great bacon. Listen. Dude, that was a joke.

It wasn't. He banged a mattress. The time Corey had sex was with a mattress. No, that was a joke, dude. And he kissed a pillow. The pillow was true, the mattress was a joke. I'm just trying to be funny for Canada Day, dude, because we're trying to be, you know, I don't know.

Cory, did you ever suck one of those toothpicks down your throat? Yeah. Yes, you did. I remember you doing it about 50 times. Yeah, that's true. Why do you keep chewing on them? Because, shit, I'm eating it.

I don't know. I don't know. Because I like having things in my mouth, dude. He likes having things in his mouth. Okay, it's alright. Yeah, I can play around with it with my tongue. Put it down. Oh, it's like a precursor to a fidget spinner.

Really, but Cory invented the fidget pick. Maple syrup. We make fucking great maple syrup. Does anybody else make maple syrup or just us? We do, Ricky. Canada. So fucking fuck you, everyone else. You know what else we make? Mountains. We make mountains. We don't make mountains. Mountains are there.

You know what else we make? Snow. Wayne Gretzky's. Wayne Gretzky's. Wayne Gretzky's. Wayne Gretzky's. Sidney Crosby, Nathan McKinnon, all the fucking greatest ones. Nathan McKinnon, Sidney Crosby. Mounties.

All Canadians. Fucking Ovi. Mounties. No, Ovi... What? He wants to be Canadian, he said. Well, he's not. Who? Ovechkin?

Maybe I made that up. He's not from Canada. He's from Russia, man. Oh, dude, you know who else is Canadian? Celine Dion. Thanks for the weed, buddy. Celine Dion a bad weed. Oh, dude, you know who else can eat? Celine Dion. Thanks for the weed, buddy. Celine Dion. Celine Dion. Cheers.

Ann Murray. Brian Osborne. John Candy. John Candy. James Carey. James Carey. Ice Myers. Yes.

Bela Lugosi. No. Your favorite. Ryan Reynolds. Ryan Reynolds. Starvin' Tom. Your favorite, The Rock. Dwayne The Rock Johnson. He's not fucking kidding.

But I just wanted to mention him because I know you get excited. No, I don't get excited, man. What the fuck? I knocked that dude out myself, man. Or you couldn't beat up The Rock. The Rock would snap you like a twig. He would have a hard time do that for obvious reasons. Thank you, Canada.

Jeff, what are the obvious reasons? What are the obvious reasons? You tell everybody. I don't know. What are they? Don't airs. Ambers. Torch airs.

Good fucking don't airs. Ice. Ambers sucks. We did not invent ice. We have the best ice. We didn't invent ice. I love ice. We invented basketball.

That is true. Ice hockey. That is hockey. We didn't invent icebergs ice. We invented basketball. That is true. And ice hockey. And ice hockey. We didn't invent icebergs either. We got them though. And we invented Prince Edward Island. What else does? We what?

We invented Prince Edward Island. Waterfalls. Waterfalls. Sky. All right, it's getting ridiculous. What is wrong with you guys? Stick to the facts. Hail.

No one else says fucking hail. We. Hail. Hail, hail, rock and roll. Hail. Rock and roll. Hail. Rock and roll. Rock and wrong with you? Hail. No one else says fucking hail. Hail. Hail, hail, rock and roll. Hail, dude. Hail.

Rock and roll. Fucking shale. Joggins, dude. Cheese. Fucking, we invented joggins. Cheese. Fucking cheese. Poutine cheese.

Quebec City. We invented Quebec. We did invent that. That's true. Seals. Boats. Well, not boats. Can's true. Seals. Boats. Well, not canoes. The Beatles were from Canada.

See, dude? Who knew? I had no idea. Beavers. Justin Bieber. Justin Bieber? He's naked. Justin Bieber's dope, dude.

Justin Bieber is dope, man. He is dope. I like Justin Bieber, dude. Cory, can you dance like Bieber? No. Oh, I could. I mean, maybe. But I don. Cory, can you dance like Beaver? No. Oh, I could. I mean, maybe, but I don't know, man. He got, who could?

Ricky, you might wanna do a beaver dance. Wanna try to do some- You know what, we'll finish with a beaver dance. All right, can you sing some beaver, bubs? Do you wanna come in? Probably do. Sorry. All right, I'm out, good night.

No, you're not going to bed yet, fuck. It's like a dark man. I can't see anymore. Wake up. We're asking you to wake up. Canada Man. Canada Man. Canada Man. Let's get going.

He's back. Canada Man had a short break. Canada Man took a short commercial break, but he is back. Alright, Canada Man. Gone cherry. Canada Man needs more fuel for the tragically hip, Rush, and all those good ones, right? Gordownie. Beer.

Gordownie, dude. Gordownie. Gordownie, dude. Hookers. Maestro Fresh West, dude. Maestro. Maestro, yeah, that's a good one. I agree there, man.

Did we invent hookers? No. No, man, they've been around forever. Jesus. No, but they was lostin' them up in the Yukon and shit. Uh... Excuse me. Sled dogs. around forever. No, but they was lostin' em up in the Yukon and shit. Uh... Excuse me.

Sled dogs. We invented the strip clubs where they take everything off and do stuff in the back though, right? Okay boys, let's get back on track here. Let's get back on track. We're all over the place here. We're making up things that we did not invent now, cause we're getting hammered. It's alright though.

Did we invent buzzers? What's that, dude? That's a camera, man. It's like a 180 camera. Are we in virtual reality? That's that, dude? That's a camera, man. It's like a 180 camera. Are we in virtual reality? That's like Lama or Duke. Ricky, don't get right behind me.

I'm scared you're going to penetrate me. If I did, you'd be fucking blown away. No. Is it your time? Okay. All right. It's okay if you did, though, boys. Love you guys.

Ricky, where did you get the fucking giant solo cock? Look, this is a regular cock, Ricky. This is fucking useless. What does that hold? One drink? You know what I think is cool about Canada? Jesus, Murphy. Okay, okay.

Cory's got something cool to say about Canada right now. You know what's cool about Canada? What? Is that Canadians burned down the White House and shit. Where? What? Like in the war, like 1812 and shit. That's why it's white, because they had to paint the fucking thing, because of us.

Was it us? That shit is true, dude. I don't know if that's true or not, but I know they had to paint the fucking thing to cover over the burntness. That shit is true. Canadians took the White House and shit. See? That's a nice reminder to people that are watching this down in America. Don't fucking care. That shit is true. Canadians took the White House and shit. See? That's a nice reminder to people that are watching this down in America.

Don't fucking care. Nice going. What fucking burnt shit? It wasn't our fault. Well, you know what we should do? We forgot to do. Was that wrong? We should sing happy birthday to Canada.

Okay. Go for it, bud. I'm just saying that Canada was badass and shit. Okay, let's sing. I'm sorry, dude. Well, maybe we'll do that at the end. We'll get everybody up. Hey, you know who's back there?

Who? I think Tiggy's. Taylor? Tig. Hey, you know who's back there? Who? I think Tiggy's. Taylor? Tiggy. I think Tiggy's back there. Let's get Tiggy over here.

Why don't you get Tiggy over? Everybody watching this probably knows who Tiggy is. Hey, Tiggy. Tiggy. Come on over. There's Tiggy. We don't have any more microphones. Speak loud. Speak loud, Tiggy. You don't have any more microphones. Speak loud.

Speak loud, Tiggy. You're going to have to scream everything you say. So whenever all the people that are watching swear that, when they get pissed off and they need to complain. Yes, you're complaining at me. So be nice, okay? Be gentle. Don't be dicks.

Dicks. Fuck, we need to get this fast. What are you drinking there? I've got a lovely, delicious Freedom 35. Nice. Freedom 35. Right on. Hey, Jake, what's going on? Hey, Jake, what's up?

Awesome. Freedom 35? Sweet. So there's probably going to be a lot of complaints about this one. Oh, fuck yeah. Yeah, this is fucked. We're all over the place in this one. It was a weird one.

It was supposed to be just a fun celebration. Yeah, but we're just getting gassed up, that's all. What was the fuck then? We're all fucking the place in this one. It was a weird one. It was supposed to be just a fun celebration. Yeah, but we're just getting gassed up, that's all. We're all fucking lit up, Ricky. Yeah. Yes. It's good, man. We'll be ready for them.

Don't worry. All right, be prepared. We'll be right back. Be prepared for an onslaught of anger. Get lots of sleep tonight. You know, be prepared because tomorrow's going to be crazy. Will do. Cheers, fellas.

Cheers. Cheers, you guys. Happy Canada Day. Happy Canada Day. Cheers fellas. Cheers. Cheers you guys. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers.

Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers.

Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. I don't remember that, man. You don't remember Baby New Year? No. They were trying to hide his... Canada Man, you need a joint.

Jacob, you got any more joints? I think so. You know what's going on down there, Jacob? Jesus. Jacob, give Canada Man a joint. I've been working all day. I'm just... I'm beat.

Jacob, do you still wear those very small sexual underwear? It's free. What are you talking? How do you know about this? Everybody knows about your sexual underwear, Jacob. Well, when it's clean, I wear it. I'm gonna stand, dude. He's singing about Canada. I'm gonna stand, dude.

There's the other choice. Canada Man. Who wants to spark that up? Canada Man. Oh, here. Who wants to spark that up? Oh, man, that's not good. Canada Man, Will. What the fuck is that, Jacob? I forgot it was in my back pocket. That's a magic mushroom.

God keep us fucking wet. I think it's a magic mushroom record. Good. It's fucking free. Canada Man. Fuck. God, please keep us fucking wet. God, please keep us fucking wet.

God, please keep us fucking wet. God, please keep us fucking wet. God, please keep us fucking wet. God, please keep us fucking wet. God, please keep us fucking wet. God, please keep us fucking wet. God, please keep us fucking wet. God, please keep us fucking wet. God, please keep us fucking wet. God, please keep us fucking wet. God, please keep us fucking wet. Fucking free! Canada man is fucked.

Please keep us fucking free. There we go. I'm drooling and raging. What's wrong with me? I'm gonna cry. Spark it up. Canada man is wrecked. Oh, the mushroom's kicked in. Look at the VR people, Ricky.

They're looking at you. I'm fucked. They're looking at you. Hey, I'm fucked. They're looking into your soul. Craig. Fucking hell. What happened to them, dude? Was I still? No, we're done.

There was mushrooms in the mix. In the chip mix? No, in the mix, the liquor mix. Oh, fuck, boys. This is fucking, whoa. Whoa. Not good. We're trapping out now. That's not good. Whoa. This is fucking... Whoa. Whoa. Not good. We're trapping out now.

That's not good. Whoa. This is fucking cool. This is not a good one, boys. Oh, yeah. This is not good for me. I'm back, baby. I'm not back.

Should we take a break or just shut this fucking thing off? No, this is fantastic. Talk through it. The filter fell out. Fuck. We should talk through it. Is there any other Canada facts we should educate people on? Alright, they have two languages.

Maybe more. Leif Erikson's first voyage to Newfoundland. Great fucking hockey player. Oh, that's not a hockey player, Ricky. Oh, didn't you have a picture of him? He was in your shit, a picture, a big poster. Of Leif Erikson. Oh, no, it was Leif leaf erickson oh no it was leave

garrett hey that was no it was edna garrett from fox alike you were into her i had a big picture of edna garrett what the fuck is this you know what was a weird wish you had a mother crush i guess but it was weird no 1964 a new national flag of of Canada was adopted after much debate. The Senate gave its approval on 17th of December. Queen Elizabeth signed the royal proclamation in January. There it is. Right there, baby. With its red 11-pointed maple leaf and side bars.

Is this right? Flew officially for the first time. One, two, three, four, five. Flew officially for the first time February 15th, 1965. Very nice. One, two, three, four. Yeah, you got her. You got it Pontiac. Okay, here's a quiz boys.

What's the most common last name in Canada? I would say Lafleur. It's not Leahy. McDonald. That's a good guess. Canada. That's what I would have thought. Le Fleur. I would say Smith.

Jacob, what's your guess? Excuse me. Walsh. Monsier. Walsh? Walsh? I don't know a single Walsh. What the fuck are you talking about, Jacob?

Remember Brandon Walsh from Man of 210? Hey, Mary Walsh. Man, no. He's on to something, guys. Yeah, Mary Walsh. Mary Walsh. What about Walsh from R2N0. Hey, Mary Walsh. Man, no. He's on to something, guys. Yeah, Mary Walsh. Mary Walsh. What about Walsh Jam, dude? The Wall Street Journal.

Okay, is it Walsh? Wall Street Journal. Is it Wall Street Journal? Okay, it's not fucking Walsh, you dumb fucks. What is this now? What are we doing? The most common last name. Funny juice.

I love my juice. Boys, the most common last name in Canada is Lee, L-I. Bull fucking shit. That's what it says right here. L-I, Lee. That's French dude. It's not French. Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee Lees. Lee, Lee, Poutine. Are they a nice... Not Le. Lee, ally. Are they a nice family and nice people?

They're not going to take us over secretly, are they? There is a testicle festival in Calgary, Alberta. No, there isn't. Wow, that's fucked up. There is not. Buzzard's Restaurant is known for its cowboy cuisine. Each year during the stampede, with its adjoining pub, Bottlescrew Bills,

they launch a testicle festival just in time for the tourists. As they say, try our prairie oyster fritters or bacon-wrapped tender groin. Tender groin. Dude, I had those. I had bull's nuts, dude. Isn't that fucking balls from bulls? They're bull's nuts. I had them. The shit is good. I don't give a fuck. It was good. Alright, alright, Cory. How did you eat the bulls nuts?

How were they served? They're served with bacon and shit and they're all fried up. So listen to this. The royal couple visited the Stampede in 2011. And with the restaurant they introduced a new dish called the Crown Jewels. And they were bulls nuts. Bulls nuts, yeah. Did you know that Canada has more lake area than every other country in the world? Fuck you, everyone else!

Or maybe that's not good, I don't know. We've got a lot of lakes. Don't fuck a player, hey. Does that mean that Canada, the area of Canada's lakes is more than the area of the rest of the countries in the world? The Great White North has 563 lakes larger than 100 square kilometers.

The Great Lakes alone contain 18% of the world's fresh water. Are you fucking kidding me? We got 18% of the world's water, boys. That means we're the cleanest motherfuckers alive, dude. Holy fuck. That means when the aliens come to fucking starve us of our water, they're coming for us first. Well, we should just fucking put salt in all of it.

We should bottle that shit. We should bottle that shit. Salt kills aliens. We should bottle it and sell it. They already fucking do that, Corey. Speaking of aliens, Jacob, what's the planet you're from called again? What do you mean? You get it? Yeah, I get it.

Like the Grace? Oh,? Yeah, I did. Like the grace? Oh, boys. Plant red skin. This is fun. I like podcasts, dude. Yeah. I'm going to start my own. Hey, listen to this one. I didn't know this. Charles Fenerty, a poet from Halifax, Nova Scotia, was the first person to use wood

fibers to make paper. Paper. I knew that. He started experimenting in 1839 and produced paper from wood pulp in 1841. Only took him two years. So we invented fucking paper. We invented maple syrup. We invented bacon. We invented fucking hockey. We invented basketball.

We invented... We invented Frankie McDonald. Frankie McDonald. The Rocky Mountains. We invented the mountains. We didn't invent the Rocky Mountains. We invented the polar bears. Polar bear.

Hey, check this out, guys. We invented the fish. You guys know in Ottawa you can't smoke a cigarette? Igloos. In the park anymore? What? It's illegal to smoke a cigarette in the park in Ottawa. What the fuck?

Well, it's illegal to smoke a cigarette in the whole park. No, the parks are outdoors. You can smoke a cigarette here. You can smoke cigarettes in the whole park. No, the parks are outdoors! You guys smoke a cigarette here? You can smoke a cigarette in this park. You know what? It's not that same kind of park. We gotta start fucking fighting for our rights. Us smokers. You gotta fight! For your rights!

Fucking smoke! Boys, the Moosehead Brewery. It's fucking outside. The park's not fucking enclosed by a dome. It is bullshit. They're not talking about a trailer park. They're talking... You fucking... Why is there...

You can't say any words anymore. It's not enclosed in a dome, Rick. It's fucking ridiculous. The earth is not flat. I fucking... Oh, God. The Moosehead Brewery in St. John in Brunswick turns out 1,642 bottles of beer per minute.

Who gives a fuck? I do. That's a lot of beer. minute. Who gives a fuck? I do. That's a lot of beer. I can't get past this smoking shit. Now we're losing something else. Now we're losing the outdoors. First it wasn't cool to smoke at malls. Holy shit.

Listen to this one, Ricky. You can't say anything. You can't do anything. It's... Canada man. What happened to this fucking world? Canada man. Listen.

Okay. Canada man. Listen to this. This is freaky. During World War II, Britain shipped all of its gold reserves and foreign securities to Canada in crates labeled fish.

They were stored for years in an office building in downtown Montreal where 5,000 people worked throughout the war without having a clue about what was hidden in their basement. See, why couldn't we have been there? All of Britain's gold was in our fucking... We could have had all of it.

Jesus, that's cool. I wonder if there's any left. Well, they would have sent it back, Ricky, by the time... That was in the war. It's heavy, heavy stuff. That was a long time ago, man. It was a long... Okay, boys.

Okay, what? I think we're getting too fucked up. No, man. We got to go for another all ago, man. Wasn't long. Okay, boys. Okay, what? I think we're getting too fucked up. No, man. We gotta go for another all night, yeah. Just getting started. Nope, just wait. Here's what I wanna do. Don't say a s- Hey, everybody!

Can everybody come over and we're gonna sing Happy Birthday to Canada! W-R-A-P. Everybody come over here. What if WRAP's gone? This is lame. Everybody come over. Wrap it up.

We're gonna sing Happy Birthday. Okay I get it. Who the fuck didn't hit me with a hat man? Alright guys. And Ricky's gonna dance like Justin Bieber. Okay is everybody ready? I'm ready. Don't drink this kids till you're at least 8.

Alright let's do it. Let's do this guys. Okay, here we go. Stir it up, bubs. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Canada. Happy birthday to you! Woo!

150! Right on! We did it! Alright everybody, everybody go mix a drink. We're gonna end this party. We're gonna fucking get ripped. How? I think Mickey's gonna dance Justin Bieber now. Isn't that right? Canada Man.

Dance like Justin Bieber. Okay. What do I do? Dance like Bieber, Canada Man. Move back, kids. Hey, you guys, look out. Kids could get dangerous. Kids could get fucking crazy.

Thanks. I'll see you guys. Thanks, dude. Fuck off, Cory. All right. Okay. Here we go. All right.

Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. see you guys. Thanks, dude. Fuck off, Corey. Alright. Here we go! Here we do it, huh? Here we do it! Oh, Ricky. I don't think that's a good idea, Canada man. Canada man!

Canada can! No, look out! Look out! Jesus Christ. Alright. Canada man's down! Get it again. No, look out, look out. Happy birthday, Canada. That's your birthday. Jesus Christ. All right, we're done. Canada Man's down. Cut, cut, cut. Canada Man is down.

Cut this. We're done. Cut it. Canada Man. Cut it.