Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 108 - It’s Raining Horse C*cks

Episode Date: August 28, 2017

She’s a rainy day in Sunnyvale and the Boys are trying to deal with the effects of Ricky’s breakfast, comprised of magic mushroom omelettes with weed-butter pancakes. Ricky gets learnt on spelling with “Q” and the Boys sing about the weather! You can watch the Trailer Park Boys Podcast (and more) on SwearNet for FREE during September! Sign up for a free account at SwearNet.com and use the coupon code SEPTEMBERFREE. DECENT!

Welcome to the Trailer Park Boys podcast, brought to you in parkboysswearingit.com, the only place where you can see the video version of this podcast. Nice one. And go to trailerparkboysmerch.com and check out some merch. Buy some stuff, please. They sponsor us, too. What about the beer and the liquor? I was just getting to that, Richard. Also, sponsored by Freedom 35, beer, drink the dream,

and Liquorman's old dirty Canadian whiskey. Drive her into your guts. Ricky, get all your fucking chewing over with. Okay. Everybody plug your ears while Ricky's chewing over with. Okay. Everybody plug your ears while Ricky's chewing. I'm good. Now you're chewing. Well, I've got my mouth... I'm chewing with my mouth closed, man.

Doesn't matter. It does matter. It's bone conduction. I didn't have breakfast. Well, I saw you sucking on something earlier. What was that? What was his name? Your mum's tits. You guys are both fucked.

You're a little fucked today too, Mr. Scruffy Pants. Yeah, what's going on with the beard, man? Bubbles Gruff? I had an accident in my shed with one of my razors, so I got rid of all the razors. And it's my own fault and I feel bad. One of my kitties, I must have dropped some cat food near the razors. The kitties went and one was licking it up and he got a tiny little nick.

And it could have been disastrous and I said, okay, that's my own fault, being negligent. So I took all the razors and I burned them. Couldn't you just put it in, like, a case or something? Yeah, man. In a drawer. Then I could open up a fucking drawer or something. Medicine cabinet, maybe? I don't have a medicine cabinet, Ricky.

Okay. Do you have a shoebox? I could have put them. I could have maybe done that, but I was just so upset with myself. Briefcase? So upset with myself, I said, fuck it, and I burned them. That'd be cool, actually, to have a shaving briefcase you just take around with you. In case you need to shave in the middle of the afternoon.

Get all set up, has a mirror when it flips up. Fancy creams. But then you're carrying around a briefcase. It could be stainless steel, though. That'd be tough. Handcuffed to your fucking arm. So you walk around like you got the fucking nuclear launch codes, but it's really just a shaving cap. Yeah, people be wondering, I wonder what the fuck's in that case.

Yeah, but you'd only need it first thing in the morning. Man, I wonder why his fucking facial hair looks so fantastic. And why you're carrying around a fucking briefcase at night where you're not gonna fucking shave. Right? Be more of a mid-afternoon thing. Go to parks. No, I think you should invent one then, Ricky.

Anyway, you fucked up. You should have gave me your fucking razors instead of burning the goddamn place. No, I'm going to save the money. Fuck, that was in my mouth. What was? That fucking crunchy chip. I saved it. You got another 29 minutes to live there.

Here, try that, but just let it melt. Don't chew it. You're still chewing? I'm fucking eating popcorn, all right? I can hear you. Well, this is my breakfast. Moondog is not

going to be happy. I'm sorry, Moondog. I'm keeping it quiet. He's Moonboy, isn't he? I'm talking about his cousin, Moondog. Moon Tiger. I'm talking about

his cousin. All right, all right. Let's get this fucking podcast going. What the fuck's happening? Podcast number 108. August the 25th. August the 25th. The official podcast. It's coming at everybody right now.

Oh, that was so fucking suave. Fuck off. Let's see what happened on this day in history. It's always a good topic. Amelia Earhart completed a transcontinental flight. You used to think she was beautiful. Do you still? I absolutely do.

I think so. Amelia Earhart, I find her to be very elegant. Is it her talent that bumps her up or just her looks? No, it's the whole package. She was... Yeah, I'd have to agree with you. Well, you thought she was, like, sexy. I'm not talking about, you know, her talents and all that shit.

What, she's sexy? I find that all goes hand in hand. I've seen pictures of Amelia Earhart, and if I lived back then, that's who I would have been trying to get with. I conquer. You conquer? What?

That's what you say when you agree, isn't it? Concur, Ricky. Concur. Well, it's the same word. You just say it different. Concur. Conquer. I don't know how you spell conquer.

No, it's spelled different. Concur is C-O-N-C-U-R. And? Conqueror is C-O-N-Q-U-E-R. There's no Q. Is there? In Conqueror? Conqueror, yes, man. C-O-N-Q-U-E-R. Q-U-E-R. Mm-hmm. It's a weird way to spell that when it's a C. Hmm. With a C. Conquer.

Isn't it the same sort of way of... Q-U can be a C. Why not just put a C there? It's fucked. Because it depends on the etymology of the word, Ricky. There you go with another word that means nothing to me except letters. How do you spell licker? L-I-K-E-R. Okay, we got a big problem here, Bunch.

That's liker, and that's not a word. L-I-C-K-E-R. That's licker. L-I... That's a licker, like somebody that gets down and licks things. Lick her. How do you spell lick wid? L-I-K-W-I-D.

Oh man. You're forgetting about the Q, man. Like out of every word that has a Q. Dumb. Q's are dumb then. I get it for queen. Cause it's like a q-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e that C-A-W-E-E-N What does a duck do? Quack How do you spell that? I think there's a Q in that one That makes sense to me Because it's a quack

Okay Like an earthquake. I don't want to talk about letters anymore. I hate them. You must know how to spell liquor, though. L-I-Q-U. Oh, fuck, yeah, that liquor, but I didn't know. Okay, I thought you were talking about lick her.

No, liquor the drink. All right, there's a Q in there. There shouldn't be, but there is. It's a bad use of the drink. All right, there's a Q in there. There shouldn't be, but there is. It's a bad use of the letter. It's a waste of a Q. So where should it be used? Just for words that have Qs in them proper. Name one.

Queen. Okay, so those kind of ones. Quick. Quack. Quake. Quow. Quick. Quow. Wow.

Jimmy Quow. Quid. Quid, yeah. Yeah. All right. Quactopus. I'm done with the English fucking education. Anyway, Amelia Earhart was a fantastic lady. Is that how we started?

Yes. Holy fuck. Went from Amelia Earhart was a fantastic lady. Is that how he started that? Yes. Holy fuck. Went from Amelia Earhart to quack. What else happened? Oh, 1963. Paul McCurtain is fined 31 pounds and given a one-year suspended license for speeding. How fast was he going? He must have been flying.

Or he got pulled over by a dickweed. That's one year, man. That's fucked. Would you say he was the sexiest beetle? Bubbles? I don't have an opinion on who the sexiest beetle was. So you find them all equally gorgeous? I think beetles were an attractive looking group.

But did you find him sexy? No, I never, no, I have never found Sir Paul McCartney to be sexy. I think he's a handsome man. And I think he's well kept. What the fuck is this about them? You know, he keeps himself looking good. In 67 they went and hung out with some whales and some meditation shit with a yogi? Yeah, no, they went to Wales to study transcendental meditation with Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. What the hell is teeth meditation?

Teeth meditation? There's a dental in that word. No, transcendental meditation, Ricky. It means you transcend. You hold your teeth in a way that makes you fucking peaceful. Yeah. Transcendental. No, they went and hung out with the Maharishi, Mahashyogi,

who turned out to be a bit of a fraud, they discovered. With a name like that, yeah, I probably would think there might be something up. Because when they went, they went to India to hang out with him, and, you know, he's supposed to be this spiritual guy above, you know, not constrained by human desires and stuff, and all he wanted to do was bang me a pharaoh.

Wow. Really? Yeah, they found out his end game was to just try to get, try to do some banging. The Maharishi. The Maharishi, yes.

Maharishi. Yogi. Wow. Maharishi, Maharishi. Did he bang her? No, no. I don't think anybody actually banged a fella.

He just, you know, if you're devoting your life to something and somebody's saying, yeah, it's all about this and that and then you find out all he's trying to do is get banged a fella. You just, you know, if you're devoting your life to something and somebody's saying, yeah, it's all about this and that, and then you find out all he's trying to do is get banged, you start second-guessing yourself, you know? 1970, on August 25th, Elton John's first U.S. appearance in L.A.

I was there. Bubs, you weren't there. What are you talking about? Didn't say I was. You just did. Wow, there wasn't really much happening. No, man. Any good birthdays?

There's nothing going on this day. That wrestler, Ivan the Terrible. Ivan the Terrible wasn't a wrestler, Ricky. What year was he born? Uh, 1530. Is that the time? Like 3.30? No, he was born in the year 1530. Died in 84.

There was wrestling back then? No, there wasn't, Ricky. Well, there probably was, but he wasn't a fucking wrestler. Maybe he was a gladiator. They didn't have Vince McMahon types back then. Sean Connery. That's a fucking good one right there. Yeah. I like him a lot.

Why? I think he's good. At? Acting. And? Singing? I don't know. And? Singing? I don't know. And what? Dancing?

I don't know. I don't know him that well. But I like some of his films a lot. He's a knight. It doesn't say that here. Sir, yeah, it should have Sir Sean. Alright, Sir Sean Connery. So he's good at jousting then. I couldn't even tell you what my favorite movie would be.

There's so many. Well, probably a James Bond movie. He was the best James Bond, I think. He was in The Rock. Oh, he was good. He was in The Rock. Wasn't he in the fucking Highlander? He wasn't in The Rock.

He never did it with The Rock, but he was in the movie The Rock. He was in The Highlander too, man. I liked that movie. He was in The Highlander. He was high. Wait, he wasn't in The Highlander too, man. I liked that movie. He was in The Highlander. He was high. Wait, he wasn't in The Highlander? Maybe not. I don't know.

Star Wars? He wasn't in The Highlander. He wasn't in Star Wars. I thought he was Obi-Wan. No, Ricky, that wasn't Sean Connery. He should have been, maybe. Could have been. Maybe it was his brother.

They looked a lot alike. No. Elvis Costello. Do you know him? Yes. You met him? Nope. Tim Burton.

Tim Burton? He's a beauty. Would like to meet both of those guys. What's going on? Sorry. The next one made me laugh. What is it? One of the greatest country artists of all times.

Where? Billy Ray Cyrus? Yeah. Oh, fuck. Born in Flatwoods, Kentucky. That fucking song drove me nuts. Especially Ricky singing it all. Remember he used to sing that fucking constantly?

I liked it. I did line dance. Dancing around. And now I'm embarrassed to admit it. Okay? That was a very bad fucking year. Line dancing sucked. That was a weird phase. Sing it, Ricky. Sing it like you used to. Don't wreck my heart. My hacky-bracky heart.

Just don't think my heart can understand. And if you hurt my heart, or break my heart... Non-stop. It might blow up and kill this man. That, believe it or not, are the actual lyrics. No, it wasn't. It was close. Those are close, but the last line is correct. Your heart might blow up and kill this man.

Don't tell my heart my achy, breaky heart. I just don't think he'd correct. Your heart might blow up. Don't tell my heart, my achy, breaky heart. I just don't think he'd understand. Your heart. Because if you tell my heart, my achy, breaky heart, it might blow up and kill this man. Are you serious? That was the fucking lyrics. It's pretty smart.

I thought it was just him fucking it up every time. No, that's the lyrics. Wow. It's pretty succinct. It's to the point. Not everybody could fucking it up every time. No, that's the lyrics. Wow. It's pretty succinct. It's to the point. Not everybody could fucking write words like that. No, that's true. You can't.

Ooh, Claudia Schaeffer. Yeah, he was a fucking good-looking man back then, too. Ricky, he had the worst mullet in the history of America. But in the time, it was cool. No, it wasn't. I liked it. I had one with going. Yeah, I know you did.

Yeah. Claudia Sheffer was born, 1971. Hot. Hot. Beautiful. She's getting old now, though. Blake Lively. Who's that?

Don't know. American actress, it says. Blake Lively. Better find out. I'm embarrassed. I can't keep him on at all. That's the guy on The Voice, isn't it? Blake Lively? Blake Lively, yeah. He is a... No, that's...

It's not. It's Blake Shelton. Blake Shelton? You fucked that one up. Imagine if Blake Shelton married Blake Lively. What would they be? Blake and Blake Lively Shelton. Blake and Blake Lively Shelton. B and B. What?

B squared. It's up to B squared. Jesus, Ricky, what the fuck did we ingest? What did we ingest? It was, I don't know, but it did the trick, whatever the fuck it was. Things are just starting to kick in here. Some kind of weird, weird buzz on, isn't it? It's like wavy and I don't know.

I don't like it. It is a weird buzz. It must have been those mushrooms I put in the omelet. Aw, Ricky. Don't give people a break. I didn't put much in. It was like fucking just over... Are we on mushrooms?

Mushrooms and a little bit of weed butter. Can you take those glasses off? No, my eyes are fucked. They're starting to freak me out now. It could be the weed butter. The weed butter? You don't even taste it with the maple syrup on the pancakes. What was in the maple syrup?

Ash oil. No, I think it was clean. So weed butter and magic mushrooms. And eggs. And pancake. I know, but you gotta fucking tell me. There was health in there, too. You know what you gotta do, Bubbs?

What? Get right on the fucking liquor and keep it going. Yeah, I'm gonna have to chug this liquor to bring down my mushroom buzz. How do you like the ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-saroni? What are you talking about? Isn't that what you're drinking? That's Freedom 35. Fuck!

I lost my mouth again. Just use a fucking glass, like a normal glass, like a normal human fucking being. Yeah. You gonna buy me one? Did you say I lost my mouth? Yes, it was like you went to go there and it was... Wrong place, right time. All right, check this guy out.

I know you're trying to eat fucking just vegetables and shit lately, right? Yes. This guy survives on mostly 150 bananas a week. It's a fruitarian. What's his name? What's his name? Curious George? Kidding?

He was a monkey. Yeah. No, he's doing it, man. He's saying he's feeling fucking great, man. Bullshit. Endless energy. His fucking potassium levels

must be off the charts. He's saying, fuck it. I'm doing it, and he's feeling great. What about, does he get fucking meat? Or anything? Oh, no, he gets leafy vegetables, man. And, you know. You don't need to eat meat, Ricky. Where do you get your... And berries. Your protein.

Fish? From fucking plants. There's no protein in a fucking banana, I don't think, is there? There's protein, you can get protein fucking from all kinds of places. You don't need to eat fucking meat. You know why there's protein in meat? Because the cocksucker ate a plant. So if you eat grass, it's the same as eating a cow.

No, he's saying basically you got to eat everything. It's got to be raw. He's on a raw fucking food diet. You cook shit, that's when it fucks the shit up. Yeah. Well, that's interesting. 3,000 calories a day, man. Wow.

Just bananas. Bananas. Bananas. So 150 bananas a week. I wonder if he shipped yellow. What's that? 150 divided by 7. 44.

That's like 20 a day, isn't it? It's like 20-some bananas a day. That's 25. 21, 22 bananas a day. That's a lot of food. How can you eat 22 bananas in one day? He must mean the little mini ones. No, man, there's fucking bananas.

He's got bananas all over the place. Imagine the fruit flies you'd have on that fucking joint. Where does he get all his bananas? From your mom. No. That doesn't even make sense. That doesn't even make sense, man. That was a terrible joke.

It was really bad. I just, I'd get sick of them. I mean, bananas are okay, but you'd get sick of them pretty quick. You'd have to put hot sauce on, mix it up a little bit. Some kind of syrups, barbecue sauces. He's just throwing berries and shit into a fucking blender and just doing it up, man. So he's not just eating fucking bananas. Well, 80% of his diet is bananas.

That's so fucked. That's pretty awesome. I don't like it. You'd feel pretty good, though. I wonder if he's growing a tail that he can swing from. No, no tail. Listen, boys, listen. Oh, it's raining horse cocks.

Fuck, is it ever raining? I don't know what that was. That's the rain. I have to stay inside. How many songs have the word rain in them? Let's see how many we can name. Singing in the rain. Here comes the rain again.

Purple rain. Purple rain. Singing in the rain. If the rain comes, they run and hide their heads. Beatles song called Rain. Rain drops keep falling on my head.indrops keep falling on my head. Raindrops keep falling on my way. There's got to be more than that.

Rain, rain, go away. Blame it on the rain. I'm only happy when it rains. Along came a spider, sat down beside her, and then went up the thing to rain again. The water spoke down, came the rain, and watched the spider out.

Good job. Reckles? It's raining men. Hallelujah, it's raining men. That's an oldie. Where did that come from? Raining, raining, raining, raining, raining. It's raining outside. Where did that come from? Rainin'. Rainin', rainin', rainin', rainin'. It's rainin' outside.

That's a good one. There's got to be more rain songs than that. That's it, man. How about sun? What sun songs? Here comes the rain again. I said that song. Fuck off, then.

There's a fucking CCR song about rain. Isn't there? Yeah, there is. What's the CCR song? Who'll stop the rain? Who'll stop the rain? Rain. November rain?

What a cold November rain. Yes, Ricky. Ricky's nailing this game. It's fun when you're high. And you're listening to the rain, it's kind of making it, it's all working together. So, what other ones? That's it. Rain. I'll sing it in the rain.

I said that one. No, you didn't. I said that right the first time. You said raindrops keep falling on my head. No, I said singing in the rain right before that. That's it, man. All right, we're done. No, we're not.

What about sun songs? Here comes the sun. Doo-doo-doo-doo. Black hole sun. Black hole sun. Won't you come? Is that it? And wash away the rain.

Whoa. That one's got both. Holy fucking yes. Matter. That was matter. We'll end on that one. No, more sun songs. I don't know any sun songs, man.

Sun. The sun comes up. The sky is blue. Can you use songs with sun like S-O-N? No, sun. The sun. Same word. There's got to be more than that.

I don't know, but this is not a fun game, man. Well, you come up with a fun game then. Mr. Popcorny Dick. I'm not saying that. The sun will come out tomorrow. Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow. Alright, we're done. I don't think we are.

We have to be. I need to talk about other shit. Here, just wait. I'm gonna put it into the googling machine. That's cheap. Fuck. No, I just wanna see, you know... Did we ever talk about the naked man that was stuck in a fucking chimney? What? No. Yeah, I know.

It's a gross deal. They fucking went to the factory the next day and they could hear someone asking for help from a chimney. It was some naked dude. He said not to call the cops because he was playing hide and seek with his cousin. Naked? Yeah. Why was he playing the naked game? I don't know why he went in a fucking chimney and played hide and seek, but why were they naked?

It's your cousin. Because they were playing hide the fucking... Wiener. Hide the wiener. With his cousin. That's what was going on. Purple rain. We did that one, right?

Yes. It's raining men. Ricky got that one. Okay, why is this not working? Are you seriously... Rain it on the rain. I said that. Yeah, yeah.

Milli Vanilli? I said it. Well, of course, because you liked Milli Vanilli. They were fucking awesome. Everybody was into that fucking Milli Vanilli shit back then, man. No, they weren't. Yes, they were. Rain.

I don't know. That's by SWV. I don't know who that is. Rain Over Me, Pitbull featuring Marc Anthony. Don't know that one. Don't know that one either. Candy Rain, sold for real. Summer Rain by Carl Thomas. We did pretty good.

Let It Rain by Eric Clapton. Purple Rain by Prince. Rain by the Beatles. Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head. Lux Like Rain by the Grateful Dead. Pockets of Rain by Bob Dylan. Oh my God. Make it stop.

Can you stop now? You God. Make it stop. Can you stop now? You guys just talk amongst yourselves. I'm very interested in this. Did you hear about the police officer from Toronto that bought, he caught some guy shoplifting and he fucking ended up letting him go and he bought the clothes for him because the guy said it was for a job interview? People go, oh, fuck, what a nice cop. Which I guess it is. But now it's going to encourage people like me to just go steal

shit and if you get caught, you just say, hey, going for fucking money, going for a job interview, you mind buying me the clothes and letting me go here? Fucking cop in Toronto did it. So it could go either way. Might be a good thing. Could be a fucking did the guy get the job?

Well, stay tuned. Really? Because I don't know. I hope so. But it wasn't like he went in some fancy clothes store. It was fucking Walmart. So the car party didn't have to spend a ton of money. I almost ate another chip.

Fuck! It's hurt. Well, at least you got a collection happening, Ricky. You guys got anything fucking great to talk about? There's nothing great, man. Let's play a game then. Well, what I was doing was great. Let's play a game. The song game was fantastic. Let's play a fucking game or something. Let's...

Let's play If You Had To. If You Had To? Yeah. Okay. I like playing If You Had To. You start it, Ricky, but you always go so weird. I'll try not to go weird then that's okay welcome to if you had to all right I'm your host bubbles contestants on the show today are Ricky and Julian they're gonna start head to

head on if you had to right now round. Round one, Ricky, you're up first. You won the coin toss backstage. So hit Julian with an if you had to. If you had to leave the planet Earth on a spaceship and you could only take one other boy or man, men, who would it be? And if you didn't fucking answer, your family burns to death. Oh, for fucking sakes. You're lit and on fire with gasoline. You gotta take a dude.

Yep. Well, obviously you're gonna take me. Who knows more about space travel than I do? You gotta spend the rest of your life with this person. Or wait, maybe, let's let you decide. Maybe you wouldn't take me. I just ate a chip, I fucked up. I can't do it. I've been fucking trying. Alright, this is a tough one.

Who would you take, Julie? Hadfield, I was thinking, because he is an astronaut. Who? Good dude. Chris Hadfield? Yeah. Okay, well that's a pretty good choice actually. I might take Chris Hadfield with me too. At least he'd know what fucking direction we were heading in.

Yeah, so there you go. And he knows, you know, all the tricks about cooking food in space and all that stuff. After, you know, four or five years together... What? Well... You think a relationship would develop? That's what I'm wondering. I don't know. Oh, man, no. No, no, no.

That's why I'm wondering if you should pick somebody else. Did you pick him because of his glorious mustache? No, man. Just because he's a fucking astronaut. And a surgeon. And a surgeon. See, he's the kind of guy you want with you up in space. Okay, you know what?

I'll back you on that. All right. You guys are getting into all this dirty stuff. If you were going to space, I would take Chris Hadfield, too. I mean... All right, it was a lame answer, but I guess you get a point. Or however the fuck the game works, I don't even know. I almost did another chip.

Fuck! Round two for Julian. Round two. If you had to. If you had to. This is a tough one. Go dark, Julian. Go dark?

Yeah. Those are the really difficult ones. Okay, Ricky. If you had to, would you rather rip all your fucking, tear all your fingernails out? Yep. Which I've done. Oh, fuck. Okay.

I mean, no, I haven't. Okay. Or fucking spend a year living with Leahy. Dating him. Dating him? Okay, a week. Dating him? By dating,

you're kind of the new Randy in town. But as, you know, just dates? Well, no, you're living with him, man. Doing it. Right?

Well, I don't know about doing it. Okay, what are we doing? I'm reading my fingernails. That's the deciding factor. I've done it. It sucks. I don't know why I did it. Wasted. doing. I'm ripping my fingernails off. That's the deciding factor. I've done it. It sucks. I don't know why I did it.

Wasted. High. You banged, lady? No, no. Not that. I ripped my fingernails off. Off of one hand. Off of one?

Why'd you do that? Just to see what it felt like. And how did it feel? Horrible. Why'd you rip them all off? Why didn't you just rip one off and then you know what it feels like? Because I wanted it to be equal pain. I didn't want one finger hurting and the rest were okay.

I wanted to spread the pain out. But it kind of doubled the pain. It didn't really spread it out. It increased the pain by five times. It felt like it. At least five times. Okay, would you ever do it again? Anyway, so if there's banging involved,

I rip the fingernails off, it was just dates of going to movies and shit and hanging out, I'd do that, I guess. You'd date ladies for a week. It sucks to rip off the fingernails. It's awful. I'm not going to date date them. But, yeah, I mean, whatever.

I'd go to dinner. Nice restaurants. Okay. Okay. Go for walks. Round three. Ricky, let's see if you can take it even darker. Maybe we should try something else.

I don't know. Yeah, this is... I don't know. This is a weird one. It's kind of weird, man. It's going to get dark. Now you're admitting that my game was funner. Well, you were going to play...

A song game. You had that game, too, that you wanted to start doing. It's called... It's not a game. It's just a segment. Tonight... Or this week on Blowing Ricky's Mind. Oh, Blowing Ricky's Mind. Blowing Ricky's Mind. Oh, Blowing Ricky's Mind.

Blowing Ricky's Mind, well that's easy to do. Go for it. Do you have a segment for this week, or did I get you off your left foot? I can just pick something out of the air and blow your mind. Alright, let's try it. Um. I'm getting, cause I like getting learnt with you, you teach me shit. I kinda like it too, man.

Do you know what a magnetar is, Ricky? I'm guessing it's someone that really doesn't have much going on at all. Like a supertard. No, a magnetar, not a tard. Magnetar. A magnetar? Yes, magnetar. It's from space.

Okay, so it's not like a tar, like a road or a roof. No. Okay. So it's not like a tire like a road or a roof? No. Okay. No idea. It's a special type of a neutron star. Oh, fuck. Fuck off. Yes. You know what a neutron star is? Remember I told you about the density of neutron stars? That did blow my mind.

Okay, well listen to this. Neutron star. Yes. A star that collapses on itself. And one teaspoon is fucking... One teaspoon of matter from a neutron star on Earth weighs a billion times. That's fucking...

Yeah, that doesn't make any sense. Okay, so a magnetar is a special type of neutron star... Yeah. ...that has a crazy magnetic field. Okay. The magnetic field is a thousand trillion times more powerful than the magnetic field that we're sitting in on Earth right now. Thousand trillion.

Okay, that's a lot. That's fucked. That's a lot lot. And when one explodes, it vaporizes everything in the solar system that's in it. Fuck off. Instantly. And there's one within range of Earth. So at any moment, we could just not exist anymore if that cocksucker decides to blow.

You're fucking being serious right now. Yes. A magnetar. A magnetar. Could fucking wipe out the whole universe. But you would never know because we're here right now. See? Still here.

Still here. Still here. Still here. We could be just gone like that. But you'd never know. Would you feel it? No. No, man.

You just would cease to exist. What does everything turn to? Nothing. Nothing. Well, there's no real nothing. How does it go from something to nothing? There's no such thing as nothing, according to astrophysicists and strength theorists. You'd be like particles. Well, then we better start living every second like it could be our last until we get vaporized.

That's what I'm saying, Ricky. So what would I be, just dust? You wouldn't even be anything. So I could be sitting here like this, and's what I'm saying, Ricky. So what would I be? Just dust? Or I'd just be... You wouldn't even be anything. You'd just... So I could be sitting here like this, and then now I'm not here. Right.

Wow. And I don't mean just you. The whole fucking Earth and solar system, everything. Would the moon be all right? Would just vanish in a fraction of a second. All gone. That's crazy. Where does it go?

It goes into, you know... Like a big shopping bag. It goes away. Black hole. String theory. Fuck. Space-time control. How do they know all this shit? They're scientists.

They're not making it up? No. Here, look. Here's one here that I was going to tell you about. Listen to this. Potential ingredient for alien life found on Titan. Whatever that means. Right on Titan. What do you mean potential ingredient? What do you just whip it up in a fucking mixer? No, but one of the... There, there's some life. One of the compounds predicted to form membrane-like structures. It's called vinyl cyanide, C2H3CN. Final cyanide? That sounds fucking tasty.

C2H3CN. Scientists have discovered that it's in the moon's liquid methane seas. Titan. Titan is a moon of Saturn. One of Saturn's moons. Okay. I can handle that. So there's a part on Titan's moon that could build aliens.

Alien life. Okay, that's good. Let's go get drunk. Yeah, we could fucking vaporize at any time. I'm with Julian, let's get drunk. Live every second like it's your last, boys. Let's do it, take some more mushrooms. I'm starting to fucking fall asleep here.

Still a bit of that almond left. That was a good fucking chuck. I'm gonna take some more mushrooms, because I'm starting to fucking fall asleep here. Still a bit of that almond left. That was a good fucking chuck. See you next time. Dee-dee-dee!