Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 11 - Educating Randy

Episode Date: August 8, 2022

Is Randy the dumbest person in Sunnyvale? Ricky and Julian decide to help him out, and get him learnt on some awesome facts and stories from around the world! Also: The truth about the Loch Ness Monster, and the ham sammich from Hell!

How many times do you take mushrooms a week, Randy? Not enough. But do you, like, microdose? No, I don't. Or do you get full on? I know, but I do. I go and I get them, I pick them off the lawn and dry them out, and then I do them. How much would you take if you wanted to get fucked?

Sorry, what? I didn't know we were starting. I don't think we started yet. Okay. Yeah, we fucking started, boys. This has been going on. Let's officially start. Officially? Yeah.

All right. Official. Fuck you, Randy. What the fuck are you doing here? It's been 20 seconds. You're already annoying the fuck out of me. I just came in because I knew you guys were going to do this, so I'm happy. What are you drinking?

I got, this is the little vodka and soda drink. Bubbles went on a little vacation with his fucking cats, and now we got to deal with you? Yeah, but that's okay, because, you know. Where'd you steal the glass from? I had, I've had this. From Jungle Gems, isn't it? No, no. You think you're so fancy.

I got a set of six of these. So, in case there's a little party. Why would, like, are you just coming in here and showing off your glass, thinking you're so good? Julian, I'm not going to use a glass like yours. Yours is just specifically meant for the hard liquor stuff. All right, we're going to cut the shit here, Randy. We've been talking, and Bubbles was included in this conversation,

but we were going through everybody that we know, people we've known from the past, and we came to the conclusion that you're probably, there's no easy way of saying this, you're probably the dumbest person we know. I think you can get rid of the word probably. Okay, well, you are. It is, it's a fact.

You're dumb. There's no way. I've got my grade 11. But you don't have your grade 11. I do. You don't have your grade 11. I'm smarter than Corey. You know it.

You're not smarter than him. We thought for the chance, but no. But Bubbles got out a graph. He should be here. Give me a test. I'll do it right now. What we're going to do, we're going to start helping you out. Okay?

Even Jacob. He's really dumb, but he's way... I'm smarter than Jacob. No, not even close. He's actually a lot smarter than you. I'm in management of the park. Yeah, but you don't do a fucking thing. Yes, I do.

I collect lot fees. I keep everything on track. I know who's paid, who hasn't. You're not great at it. How much do you make a year? That's none of your business. No, how much do you still make under 10? I make what I make.

Under 10. I have other jobs, too. Double. Oh, I know. We know your other jobs, the other jobs you do. So, sometimes. The drive-thrus. That's not considered a job.

I think you, that's more of a pleasure. How much do you make a year? Oh, I can't. Let's just, I was once a millionaire, Oh, I can't... Let's just... I was once a millionaire, okay? I can say that. A millionaire? You kind of look like...

I wish you could fucking move like that. You're kind of the same shape as this guy. It'd be funny if you just moved like that with your arms. My arms? Your part is that thing, too. That's a chimpanzee. Chimpanzees have long arms, is what it is. That's because they hang from their arms from the trees, and they're very strong.

I think, what is it, a chimpanzee ten times stronger than a man? Is that what it is? You're just making shit up now. No, I'm not. Is that a fact? As dumb as you really are. Cliff Haven from Cheers. They can do more chin-ups than what you can, Julian.

Of course they can do more chin-ups. They're fucking chimps, man. It's like, they do the fucking, you know what they do. But they're not going to pick me up and throw me across the room. They could. I don't think so, man. A gorilla could have his way with you, Julian. I'm not talking

about gorillas. I'm talking about one of these fucking things, Randy. A chimpanzee? Well, yeah, I guess not. But did you ever see the orangutan in the Clint Eastwood movies? What was his name? Fred? Clyde.

Clyde. Balooz. Right turn, Clyde. Remember? Yeah. He was great. What the fucking right turn? I thought Clint Eastwood was pretty funny, too.

Tough guy, but funny. Anyway, back to you being dumb. We're going to try to fucking educate you a little bit, okay? This is what we do on this thing. Okay, good. We help educate people. I'm game. I don't think I'm dumb, but anyway, I will learn.

Most dumb people don't think they're dumb. Just to throw that out there. Well, Bricky's not exactly the smartest spoon in the drawer. That was a big debate as well, but he is smarter than you. He can grow weed. That's the only good thing that he's good at. Can you do that? It's a complicated process.

I can, listen, I've been getting better at growing plants and stuff. You need bees. Bees help pollinate things. You weren't working at the Department of Transportation in New Mexico recently, were you? No. New Mexico. Why were you? No. New Mexico? Why is it called? Okay, tell me why it's called New Mexico and it's not just old Mexico.

Why is it new? Do you know? What? What are you talking about? New Mexico. New Mexico? And Mexico. One's new.

They're two different fucking places. And one's a state. And one's a country. Exactly. See, Ricky, how did you know that? Isn't that common sense? I don't know. We learned a few things in school, I remember.

He is 100% smarter than you. I did not know that. Anyway, they just put up a new fucking sign for Albuquerque and they spelt it wrong. That's a massive, massive sign. spell, though, man. Massive, massive sign. Maybe they're more stupid than Julian. You spell Albuquerque. Fuck off, Randy.

I know, but if you're putting up a big, massive fucking sign, you might want to double check. You might want to check on the right. A, L. Keep going. You're not going to be able to do it. Fuck off, Randy. You can't do how to spell Albuquerque.

I don't want, this isn't about me getting tested, okay? This is about you. You're not going to be able to do it. Fuck off, man. You can't do it. I know how to spell Albuquerque. Yeah. I don't want. This isn't about me getting tested, okay? This is about you. Can you spell Albuquerque? I just did. Started it. A-L-B-Alba.

I'll give you a hint. Al-boo-quirky. Boo. B-U. Is it? Yeah. You got Q. Boo. B-U. Is it? Q. Yeah. Keep going.

That's because you gave me a hint. Q. Quirky. Something that always follows Q. R. Yeah. R. You say R.

You're so fucking dumb right now. Anyway, this isn't about fucking spelling me today. There's lots of other things you can learn. Your voice sounds really rough. So here's something else that might get you learned a little bit, Randy. The Loch Ness Monster. There's a pretty good chance now they're saying it could be real. They did say that. And we did prove that it was a fucking whale cock.

Not that long ago. Right? But the plesiosaurus plesiosaurus fucking thing it's a big swimming dinococ they've now found fossils in the fucking rivers first they thought these creatures only lived in oceans and sea no

so now they're saying pretty good fucking chance it was real wow it's pretty neat I'd like to go see that little fucking bastard So now they're saying Pretty good fucking chance It was real Wow It's pretty neat I'd like to go see that little fucking bastard So are they saying he's still alive? No, I don't know if there's actually one alive But they proved that he probably did fucking exist

In that lock In Loch Ness Because it was fresh water And now they've proved that those motherfuckers Did live in fresh freshwater places like that. Unbelievable. Fucking thing's over. That probably means the Bigfoots are real, too, I'd say.

Bigfoots are not real, man. Man. No fucking way. No? No. Okay, would you do this, Randy? Because this is what a fella did recently. Okay, would you do this, Randy?

Because this is what a fella did recently. Would you get a fucking massive tattoo on your back that says Subway Series? Like, you know, Subway the restaurant? Yeah. It's got the logo right across your whole fucking back. It says Subway Series. I wouldn't do it. They don't have cheeseburgers.

Free subs for life. No, they don't have cheeseburgers. If they have cheeseburgers, I might. They could probably create a cheeseburger sub just for you, maybe. Cheeseburger sub would probably be pretty decent. What do you think? That's what this fucking guy did. He had a huge fucking tattoo on his back, and he got $50,000 in gift cards.

$50,000 in gift cards? Yeah. Free subs for life, basically. How big was the tattoo? Right across his whole fucking back. I think it was 12 inch by 12 inch or something But for this new series I didn't even hear about this They're coming up with 12 as-is subs

So they're not customizable anymore These ones Wow Grab and go, man I guess, maybe Tell them what the timing Is that what it is? I guess it makes sense

Easier, you don't have to have so much veggies prepared. Well, it just means you can go have lunch. If you've got an hour lunch break, you can have the sub that's already made, mix up a couple drinks, have a few drinks, smoke a joint if you want. Then you're ready to go back to work. That's faster. More leisure time. I don't know.

I kind of like making it up. It feels time. I don't know. I kind of like making it up. It feels special. Fuck off. I don't know. What are the chances, though, that their non-customizable subs are going to have exactly what you want? Never, man. I'm a picky fucker. There's no fucking way I'd be eating one of those subs.

Unless I was really drunk. Who gives a fuck then, right? Right, Randy? That's true. You can eat anything when you're drunk. You can eat anything anyway. I do, and I don't mind veggies.

I'll try different veggies. Would you put spinach on yours? You're like Popeye Julian with the big muscles. Why is he, why is he even here? I have no idea. I was just happy

that he wanted me. Why did you let him into your trailer? I didn't. He fucking came in when I was sleeping. Woke me the fuck up. Bub said that we needed

me here today because he was going away. Where the fuck is Bubbles? He's on a little vacation with his kitty cats. He took them down the valley. Let them fucking run free for a day, which is weird. In some field or something. Hope he gets them all back. It's a fucking, I don't know about that. The country kitty weekend.

I was supposed to be back yesterday, though. He was gonna be and then I don't know what the fuck happened. He probably couldn't find all his goddamn cats. The country kitty weekend I was supposed to be back Yesterday though He was gonna be And then I don't know what the fuck happened He probably couldn't find All his goddamn cats Well I'm here

Don't worry boys I'm here Why But why What's your purpose Of being here Just I I'm the center of attention here

So it's August 5 Randy in the middle Summer is fucking flying by Until today Now it's gonna go slow as fuck Cause you're here, which I guess isn't too bad. August 5th. Already, man. Fuck.

This poor motherfucker, this guy, he went to a wedding, right? And he ate this sandwich. Now, did he go to a wedding? His name was Tyrone. Not the Tyrone, you know. It's a different guy in Birmingham. Yeah. Anyway, he ate this fucking sandwich. His name was Tyrone. Not the Tyrone we know. It's a different guy in Birmingham. Anyway, he ate this fucking sandwich. He immediately got

stomach cramps, a fever. He started puking, shitting out of his ass, pissing out of his ass. He's been doing it for five years. He ate a ham sandwich and it's been fucking him over. What was in it? Ham. But anyway,

he's mostly farting his ass off. He can't stop. It's affecting his life. Flatulence. Flatulence, yeah, that's the problem. See? Five years, man. How does he know it's from eating a sandwich? Because it's been happening ever since he ate the fucking thing. Could have been just coincidence.

Yeah, this guy's just dumb. I don't believe in coincidences. I don't know. That's a tough one. Five fucking years, he must have something living in his body. He's got some serious something in there, man. You can't pee out of your bum, though, dude. You piss out of your ass when you get

pee. It's just a saying. I know. Okay, so it's just liquid because pee comes out of your urethra. Once in a while, it's kind of cool when that happens, though. It's like, wow, that was kind of neat. Yeah, that urethra is the eye of your cock, just so you know. Don't talk about cocks.

Yeah, there's times when, you know, I'll eat something that's probably gone bad, and, yeah, you just go sit down and talk to them. Boom! Yeah, it feels kind of like... It's like an explosion in one second. It feels like a fucking nuclear explosion. Whoa, man. There's a new...

This is fucked. Water. They're coming out with water, but it's not a bottle of water. It's jelly water water. So you do this, and it's like Jell-O, except it's water. How? Like, what makes it not... I don't fucking know, man.

So it's got to be just gelatin or something. That sounds fucked to me. I don't like... Why would you want that? It might be good in space, man. I don't fucking know. Space? Isn't most of that gelatin shit from boiled horse pelts?

Who fucking knows, man? Yeah, they get gelatin from the skin. Horse hide? They fucking boil the skin, and they take all this gelatin stuff from the skin. Like wine gums? That's what those motherfuckers are made out of. So I don't know if this water can't be the same fucking thing.

Wow. If it's a gelatin, there's got to be something other in it other than water i would think i did not know that that's where jello came from boiling skins of horses so you're right i did not know that i didn't you know what okay check out this this other guy from india what a like i'm all for fucking fighting for different things like this this guy, he's against violence, against women, awesome. He's against fucking fighting and killing and, you know, innocent animals and shit. But this

guy stopped taking showers because of it. And he's like, I'm not going to take another shower until all this fucking ends. 22 fucking years he hasn't showered. Like, dude, I'd love to fucking fight for this, but it's, come take a fucking shower. He probably is doing like a sponge bath.

No sponge bath. I didn't stand out in the rain, man. Yes, he is. He's not. He showers in the rain. He stinks and he's horrible. He's fucked. But good on you, man.

So he must not be getting banged. He's not getting banged. That's what I mean. No, I bet you he... 22 years. How old is this motherfucker? I bet you he's... He's 62, so...

Smoke showers. From the age 40 to... That's what you do. To 62, 22 years, this guy probably hasn't been banged. No, you go to the... Now look at him. He's not happy.

I guarantee you. He looks all right. His shirt's clean. I can't imagine that he's head oral. Done. Okay, just think. If you met this guy, you hit it off, would you go out with this guy? I wouldn't. He hasn't showered for 22 years.

I wouldn't do that, but there is such a thing as a smoke shower. You go by a fire and you... What the fuck are you talking about? A smoke shower? Yeah, you do. It gets rid of bugs. You just let the smoke from the fire clean you. But then you smell like fucking body odor and smoke.

No, you just smell like campfires, and that's not too bad. It masks the other fucking disgusting smells. I think the smoke burns all of you. So you would bang this guy? Is that what you're saying? I don't know. Who's nice to you? He's a little bit...

He doesn't have a whole lot of meat on him. I like a little bit more meat. Alright, we gotta show everybody this guy. If you offered you $50 in burger coupons, would you take some? No. Bullshit. I don't think so. $200. Don't lie to us.

I hear... Apparently... Alright, if this guy's out there, you might want to hook up with Randy. Let me see him. he'll treat you well let me see you cute little fella this little guy oh he's a cute little fella he stinks man

he's like fucking hasn't showered in 22 years you don't see any do you imagine the barn maybe he's growing on his back maybe he doesn't sweat it's possible he lives in India man he's like

oh he sweats he sweats hot there he's eating like curry like crazy curry he's got it coming out of his pores curry's good for your blood I do like a good curry He sweats. He sweats hot there. He's eating curry like crazy. Curry. He's got it coming out of his pores. Curry's good for your blood. I do like a good curry. You'd probably lick this guy's nuts, wouldn't you?

I wouldn't. No. Julian. Bullshit. Julian, you don't just... Hey, if you want to do it... You don't do that when you just meet someone off the top. You got to...

You work your way up to those things. I wonder if he's circumcised. That's a good question. I heard a story with over there, fucking Ukraine, somebody getting circumcised by... What? Yeah, man. Jesus Christ. They got captured and that's what dude did to him.

No. Yeah. That's not. With a fucking carpet knife. Get the fuck out of here. I can't imagine that. I don't feel great. I hope that's not a real story. It's a fucking carpet knife. Get the fuck out of here. I can't imagine that if you agree. I hope that's not a real story. It's a weird fucking torture.

Yeah, it's kind of barbaric, man. Jeez. Hopefully he's going to get his. This North Carolina woman, she was fucking pissed at her ex-boyfriend, so she went and set his house on fire, except she had the wrong address. So she lit and set his house on fire, except she had the wrong address. So she lit the wrong house. Yeah, she put all these bundles of wood on his front porch and poured some fucking oil and gas on it and lit her on fire.

Okay, so if Randy was drunk and he was pissed off at someone, do you think Randy would do the same thing? Would you fuck up that bad? I do not. I think you would. I don't like fires. One thumbs up. She also slashed the guys above ground pool. It wasn't her ex's house. See, that's a good hit, man.

Gee, man. The homeowner came out, tried to get his garden house, put the fire out, and the fucking crazy woman had put all this adhesive in the fucking hose so he couldn't turn on his fucking hose. Imagine the poor fucker didn't do anything. He's totally innocent. So I go, why? Fuck!

Why in the frig is this happening to me? Fucking $30,000 or $40,000 in damage and she's gone to jail so he's just fucking left to deal with it. Remember you had

that pool full of vodka, Julian? Yes, I remember I had the pool full of vodka. That was a lot of vodka. That was a lot of money. What? Oh, man. Can you imagine this dude going down?

He's about to marry his woman. And his mother called her short and ugly. And he looked at her and said, yeah, you know what, Mom? You're right. And bolted. Peace out, baby. I'm out of here. You're short and ugly.

Wow. Poor, poor girl. It can't be good for your self-esteem. Peace out baby I'm out of here You're short and ugly Wow Poor Poor girl It's not Can't be good for your Self esteem No man What a horrible thing to do

Yeah That guy should be She should have Some shit done Should burn his house down That guy needs his house burnt down Just make sure you get The right fucking address

God that would suck She could tell everyone To frig off, that's for sure. Imagine being her ex. He'd be like, you stupid, stupid woman. Well, I guarantee you the next date, buddy, he was like, what the fuck did I do? I mean, he was going to marry her, right? I'd like, I don't know. You should have thought about it, man.

He wasn't getting banged that night. Sometimes, you know, mothers can be a certain way. Here's some good advice for you, Randy. If you're flying somewhere, especially to Australia, you've got to clean your shit. This pastor got fined two fucking grand because he had two Egg McMuffins in his bag and he didn't clean them You know how to bring any type of foreign food into Australia. I guess I can't bring burgers any fast ago

All right. Well, you probably could be better fucking playing them because you can't afford two grand They got kangaroo burgers down there. No, they do. Yeah, they do Well, you're a Chilean. I'm learning on this. Do you think Julian tried one? No. No. I'm not eating a fucking rodent like that, man. They're not a rodent. They look like they're fucking just overgrown rat bunnies. They can beat the fuck out of you, man. Would you eat a bison burger?

I've had bison burgers. You know what? Not bad. Yeah. They're lean. See? Horse burgers? I've never had a horse burger, but I had bison burgers. You know what? Not bad. Yeah. They're lean. See? Horse burgers. I've never had a horse burger, but I had a piece of a horse steak in Iceland.

And I have to say, it was pretty fucking delicious. Fuck that, man. That was a good horse, Julian. It was pretty good. This other guy was flying on a budget airline in Turkey, opened up his meal, and was a fucking snakehead. Motherfucker. Staring at him. Fuck.

That's delicacy in some places. Same with the fish head. I don't think so. The snake head? No. I've heard of people eating snakes, but I don't think you eat the head. I think he's just trying to suck the brain out or something.

That's the way it goes. I love these stories. You get these politicians that think they know everything this guy I don't know he's like you know this river

isn't polluted everybody check this out this is somewhere in India takes a glass of it reaches down guzzles it next day they gotta fly him out

he's shitting himself like crazy dehydrated had to be fucking flown to a hospital, and he's all fucked up. People piss and shit in these rivers down there. So don't eat ham

sandwiches at a wedding and don't drink out of a river. I wouldn't drink out of our rivers and they're clean. People are washing their clothes in this fucking river. He probably drank somebody's shit then. Fecal matters. Obviously, Randy.

I'd say. And decomposing dead things. That's fucked up. So don't drink water from a river. I never do. I can see you doing something like that. You should at least boil it. Kill all the bacteria and shit.

Yeah, you'd think people would do that. I guess he was trying to prove a point. Bit him in the cock. That was even worse than getting the friggin' snake head in your meal. You'd still eat it though, wouldn't you? You'd flick the snake head over and you'd eat away. Well, it just depends on what else it was garnished with. See, you're just fucking Randy.

If there was other things in there. Alright, another lesson. If there's a fucking snake head in your meal, take the meal back. Don't eat anything underneath it. No, it might have fucking all kinds of bacteria and shit from the snake head. Little maggots in there, maybe?

Ugh. God, that freaked me the fuck out. That's why I'd want to just bring, like, on my carry-on, I'd bring cheeseburgers. So I'd declare them on the way to Australia then. What's your second favorite food? Onion rings. Third?

Hot dogs. Fourth? Bacon. Randy. You got some, wow. You can't. Nothing fancy. No lobster.

I like that once a year, though. But that's a lot of work. I like to boil the lobsters in real seawater. What about steak? Do you like steak? I do like steak, but it's more expensive than the hamburger, right? I get the discount. I go down the meat market there and get a good bag.

How do you get the discount? Well, it's discounted because you buy a bulk. Sometimes you can get the box burgers already made, but when you make them yourself, you can just get the big bag of hamburger. Big bag. What about chicken? Or do you just like chicken wings?

I like chicken. I do like chicken fingers too, but I don't usually partake. I try to choose foods to cook on the barbecue as a rule. Well, we were cooking a few things. Swear on that thing. We made some good food, man. I do like donairs, but again, that's got hamburger, the hamburgers in them, right?

And that white, thick, sweet sauce, Donair's sauce. I didn't like the way you described it. Me, man. No, it's just thick. Don't ever do that again. But it's smooth. I don't like it when it's chunky white. I like the smooth.

Tasty. Yeah. Wow, man. tasty yeah wow man you know the rap battles they used to do that back in the fucking day I saw that movie Nine Miles flighting but it's the scotch and the fucking

English would do it you say rap or rat that was Nine Miles about that from the 5th to the 16th centuries, man. Cockfights. This has been going on a long time. People have been rapping? Basically, but it was called flighting.

I think it was more poetry back then, wasn't it? Yeah, it's all poetry, I guess, right? Like roses are red? No, like, go fuck yourself, Brandy. That doesn't rhyme with roses. No, it doesn't have to. I'm basically saying go fuck yourself

poems are good I like some poems I didn't know that Johnny Carson he liked the J the letter J with his women what

yeah man he had first three wives were Joan Joanne and and Joanna. His first wife went by the name of Jody. He was into the J thing. Holy fuck, man.

Jacqueline. I forgot we took those things. Josephine. Yeah, the edibles. You made more? Yeah. I'll give you some, maybe, but not today. I like those.

Alright, wrap your fucking fat head around this one, Randy. I know we've talked about it before, but you know what the birthday paradox is? No. How many people do you think have to be in the same room to have two people having the same birthday? No. How many people do you think have to be in the same room to have two people having the same birthday?

Ah. This is a brain... It's a lot less than you think. I was going to say 100. 23. What? I would never think it's that low, but yeah, 50% chance two people have the same fucking birthday.

We should fucking get some money going and do that. 50% chance. If there's 57 people, there's a 99.9% chance two people and I don't have the same birthday. That's fucked up. That's pretty fucking crazy. So if you got a thousand people, there's definitely a couple people. You don't even need a thousand.

You need 57. Well, but I'm just saying a chance. But if you want for sure, even need a thousand. You need 57. Well, but I'm just saying a chance. But if you want for sure, you put a thousand people in the room. If you put a thousand people in the room,

it's probably all cards. People have the same birthday. I don't get it. All right, this is another. This is a fact that'll blow you guys away. A newborn blue whale gains how many pounds a day

for one year? How many pounds a day does you gain, Ray? How many pounds a day do you gain? Well, but it's different. When you're going through puberty, it's both the same thing. I bet you they gained 50 pounds a day.

I was going to say 5. 5 pounds a day. That's it? No, that's not it. Fucking 200 pounds. Shut the fuck up. A day. A fucking day, man.

That's like a Julian every day. It just depends. What type of whale? A blue whale, Randy. A blue, that's the biggest whale. No shit. So a pilot whale. Oh, you know, the pilot ones, they're probably only 15.

I bet you you gained, when you're 15, I'd say a good 15, 20 pounds a day. That's impossible. Him? Yeah, for the first six months. When I was a baby? Babies only weigh like 15, 20 pounds. No, when you were 15, you had that grown spurt when you went way up. But no, that's too much.

I'd say about 15 pounds a day. I can definitely grow. I've weighed myself, and after I poop, I've lost 10 pounds. Andy, we don't want to hear about that. Well, it's like it just depends. So you got born on August 5th. And you have 10-pound dumps. Randy, there's something not right there.

That's normal if you're a man, Julian. Bubbles is not going to be happy you missed this fucking parody. Neil Armstrong got born today. Is he the guy on the moon? First man on the mother. There's a lot of people saying that video wasn't fucking real. Who said? Didn't the guy that filmed it say it wasn't real?

Wow. Stanley Kubrick. Who? Stanley Kubrick, yeah. He said he filmed the whole lunar landing, man. And it was fake? That's what he's saying. Who fucking knows?

He's dead now. Well, Julian, something's about to explode out of your pants. Your penis, Julian? Yeah. Shut up. Lonnie Anderson got born today. Whoa. Back in the day.

Wasn't she? She, yeah. Something's going on with her. She was on the WKRP. Yeah, she was hot back then. But now you're looking back when you're seeing those things, you're like, what the fuck? I know. Not really.

Wasn't she married to the guy with the trans hand? Yeah. Burt Reynolds, man. He was cool, dude. Fucking, you got Ronald Reagan. He was a pimp OG, man. He was cool, dude. Fucking, you got Ronald Reagan. He was a pimp OG, man. On Air Force One, he had a guy or a woman

who was a jelly bean holder so that they wouldn't fucking fall on the ground when he was flying. Your job is to hold this jar of jelly beans like a snack. You fucking like those jelly beans. I think there was something in those jelly beans. Me too, man.

Those jelly beans. Fucking think there was something in those jelly beans. Me too, man. Those jelly beans. Fucking MCA got born today. We're listening to the Beastie Boys tonight. Ooh. Let's listen to the Beastie Boys. Sabotage? Sure, Randy. That's a good jam.

Yeah. You can listen to that by yourself because you're not hanging out with us. Oh, man. Jonathan Silverman, that guy from Weekend at Bernie's. The guy that was the dead guy, I guess. Was that him or was he a different guy? That guy played a good dead guy. For sure, he was dead.

Actually, I think it was the other dude. Oh. Funkmaster Flex got born on August the 5th. Funkmaster Flex? What song did he sing? Terry Clark, Canadian country singer. Guess we could listen to a couple of their songs, but it's all Beastie Boys for me tonight. Beastie Boys, yeah, and it's time for us to go.

Randy, you're going to the liquor store. Please stay away from us tonight and go fuck yourself. There's nothing, if you hear anything about something bad happening tonight, please need to be called. And don't be saying the music's too loud and all this other shit. Well... Nobody cares. I can bring you some ham sandwiches and... Yeah.

You will be like the buddy who's been shitting himself for five years. Well, the ham might be a little old. No, we don't want you anywhere near... Ham sandwiches and jelly water. Oh, I do have some jello. I'll bring my ass. No, just stay away from us. Say goodbye. Alright, see you later everybody.

This was educational. Thank you guys. I do feel smarter. Everything we told you today wasn't true. That's right. So, go fuck yourself. What the frick? To watch the video version of Park After Dark in my fucking trailer, go to SwearNet.com or download the SwearNet Trailer Park Boys app.

Fuck off.