Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 11 - Give It Up For Classified!

Episode Date: August 5, 2024

International rap superstar CLASSIFIED is in the trailer! He chats to the Boys about the music game, gold records and tour bus life. Plus: Crazy happenings at the Olympics, the sad story of the balogny log dog, and why you shouldn't f**k around in Peru!

To see the video version of Park After Dark in Ricky's trailer, go to Swearnet.com or download the Trailer Park Boys Swearnet app. I got old style syphilis. That's your book, then. All the diseases are old style. What does that mean? Oh, we're rolling on the thing here. But what does old style syphilis mean? What is it? I wasn't talking about old style syphilis. That's what Capone died of. No, I said old phyllis that lives down the end of the burn. Oh, I thought you meant syphilis. No, I said old phyllis.

You went to Sherbrooke to go to this whole community that was like, seems like you're in the 1800s and you got syphilis. No, I said I ran into old Phyllis down there. Oh, well that's that much shittier story, Bubs. Who gives a fuck about Phyllis? She's a nice lady. Well, it's fucking August. August 2.

Look who's here. I'm ready. Very special guest. Look who's here. Very special guest. Look who's here. Would you want to do the doings here? Do what? Classified. Everybody knows it's classified. And Chipper probably already put his name up with like

diamonds on it and stuff, you know? Get some bling up. Get some bling up, like you know. Like Snoop, remember Snoop had that logo? It was all made out of diamonds. It was turning. Yeah. That'd be nice.

All right. What's going on, everybody? This is Perk After Dark. I'm going to do this properly, because you guys are like amateur hour, bringing in the guests. You sound like a bunch of fucking amateurs. Anyway, we got classified here today. We're fucking happy about it.

Let's give it up for classified. Thank you, thank you. There's no audience. There's nobody. I fucking appreciate it. It's supposed to be calm. Well, that's the other thing. You guys are all wearing sunglasses.

I didn't know you guys were all wearing glasses here. Yeah, because we are. Sorry, I'm gonna take mine off. Oh man, it gives me a reason to be alive. Squinty eyed today. You know what, when you eat something in this trailer, you don't know what's in it. Like these chips, looks like a chip.

Could be like hash dust on them. There is hash dust on them. There should be, but there's not. Good stuff, though. Little bit. Classified's here. Yes, sir. For people who don't know,

fucking international fucking rap star from Canada. Let him know. Let him know. Who wouldn't know? If you don't know, you're fucked. I mean, there's people probably in the UK watching all right might not People don't know we are to watching this. Oh who the fuck are these idiots? We just clicked on to Although I like the muscular one they're saying He doesn't like it when I tease him about his muscles.

He's gotta own that, man. He's looking good. I know. So, Paul Klaus was with us at the crazy Snoop Dogg after-party. That was a wild night. That was wicked. It was a late night. And then you, I think, did it again two nights later.

Did you not? Yeah, yeah. We ended up doing St. John. We did like a record release party and Snoop was DJing the ad. DJ Snoopadelic. Was that your release party for your record? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the record called?

Just came out. Luke's View. Luke's View. That's my real name. It's just, you know, a little bit more of a personal album, so I wanted to put my real name on it too. Right, huh? I like it, nice.

Yeah. And not spinoffing out how long? Couple months now, but... How's she doing? You know, oh good man, we've been pushing oh, the first time I was on here, which was September of last year, was when I put up the first song for it. So I've just been dropping a song and a video every six weeks. Okay, so I got a record coming out soon.

Give me some tips. What's the best way to put a record out? I'm gonna do vinyl. Do vinyl. Do you do vinyl? I still do vinyl. I still do CDs too. I'm doing, yes.

They said we're gonna, here's also what they said. Cassettes, they're doing cassettes. Cassettes are coming back. They're coming back? A collectible, no one's got a tape player, but it's collectibles. It's collectible, and you know what they wanna, it's, I can't say who it is,

cause we haven't signed the deal yet. They also wanna do, cause it's the soundtrack to the movie, right? I have a movie coming. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They wanna do a limited edition VHS tape for the movie. That's dope. Boys, how cool is that?

We got my own VHS. I still got a VHS player, man. Still got one. Not feeling it. You don't want the VHS, Ricky? I don't know, maybe. I mean, it will still be digital and everything. Are you gonna have a little thing on it, a little sticker that says, be kind, rewind. I mean, it will still be, you know, digital and everything. Are you gonna have like a little thing on it,

a little sticker that says, be kind, rewind? Fucking right I am. I'm gonna print it right on the box. Send one of these back to me. It says, be kind and fuck off. It doesn't really rhyme as well, but... We could do that. I still owe Blockbuster 88 bucks.

Really? Yeah, they're still coming at me. I think everybody still owes Blockbuster. That's why they're not around still coming at me. I think everybody's still always a blockbuster. That's why they're not around anymore. But they had you by the balls, because if you didn't pay the late fees, you can't come back and get movies. And that was the only spot.

Oh yeah. I missed that. But yeah, if you press cassettes, don't even worry about actually pressing the cassettes. Just do the album covers, because no one listens to them. No way. Save yourself a buck or two every press.

That's cool, didn't know that. Good advice. No way. Save yourself a buck or two every press call. Didn't know that. Good advice. No one's playing the sets. And put lots of singles out before you drop the album. Yeah. That's a good idea. People just come and go so quick. As soon as you drop the album, everyone listens to it

and they're like, okay, I'm good. Okay, see, this is what, and you mean like digitally, right? Yeah, yeah, throw it on YouTube. So you put a thing out, put a single out, let that percolate, put another one out. How many should go out before the record comes out? How many songs you got on it?

13, but I think there's a fucking solid five singles on there. There you go, five singles, then the album. Do it. I've been giving you the same advice as your mom. Yeah, but I don't trust you, because you don't know what you're talking about. He's done it a million times. Everything he said there, I said the same thing. Well, you're just guessing though, and he knows what he's talking about

I'm guessing too. I mean I ain't gonna lie, you know, sometimes it works sometimes it don't yeah, but who's got gold records here and who doesn't It's a good point. I've got a lot of experience. How many gold records you got? eight That's fucking impressive. That's fucking crazy. That's right. And what, and Platinum's? Got a couple Platinum's, got uh, Inter-Ninjas like six times Platinum.

Holy shit. Three foot tall is double. Three or four Platinum's. Six times Platinum. It is. Still staying in Nova Scotia, I love it. Still living in Enfield. So, okay, here's a question.

These are all good questions. I remember back when, you know, it was CDs and stuff, you'd have to sell 50,000 of them to get a gold record. How the fuck do you get a gold record now when nobody's buying CDs? You gotta get a lot of streams. So you can still do singles. So like when Ninja came out, I think it was

40,000 singles was gold in Canada. Like physical? 40,000, yeah, or MP3s on iTunes,000 singles was gold in Canada. Like physical? 40,000, yeah, or MP3s on iTunes, which you can still do now. Oh, if you sell 40,000. Yeah, so you know what I mean? Go spend 60 grand, you can have a gold record. Jesus. You can spend 60 grand yourself?

Hey, labels do it. Labels do it. They do it with the stream. So we're streaming. I think it's 6 and 1 half million streams is a gold single All them we already got we would have had one if we had to put up the kiddie man cuz it got 20 million I told you you go. Yeah, you fucked up Platinum man. Yeah, you could have had a platinum single still time. Just go. Well, the kiddie man's on this record

So maybe I'll re-release. Oh nice different version gold single on it. It's got a different version of the Kittyman on there. That's all good news, boys. So we're going to release the cassette tape, right? But no one's going to be able to listen to it? What's going on with that? You can listen to it if you have a cassette. I have a cassette player. I still play cassettes all the time.

Do you remember the business we started back in junior high? We fixed fucking cassette tapes with like nail polish. Yeah. We made good money back then, man. Nail polish? You'd stick together. You'd break it, you'd wind it up, you'd take it apart, and you'd take nail polish and stick the fucking cassette.

Oh, the two pieces back together? Yeah. And it would work. I mean, there'd be a little bit of... Wasn't there screws? Couldn't you just use the screws? Yeah, but when the tape broke. Oh, when it broke off and the screws gone?

Because people were like, you know, He used to slice the tape back together with nail polish. It wasn't great though. You'd be listening to a song. Give me that! Blah, blah, blah. Yeah, but that's just for a second. Yeah, but it wasn't great.

Hey, it was better than buying a new one, man. True. You're talking about the actual tape piece. The tape, yeah. We used to just take a piece of plastic tape, mend it overall nice. That's what I used to do too. But that's what normal people do.

Nail polish is probably a little smoother. Try it out, man. Okay. I mean, probably not gonna listen to another cassette tape, but just shits and giggles. I do have a cassette player. I bought one of those record players from Walmart a couple years ago.

They had the record player on top. Yeah. Just sat on the side, radio on the front, USB, hit it all. Those are dope. Yeah, still rocking that. I got an old, nice tape recorder player from the 1980s. I saw that up there. Oh, that's the one Snoop gave me.

I mean, that thing's just... Yeah, that's crazy. That's crazy. It's ridiculous, man. It doesn't work anymore, but yeah, it's pretty cool. Did it work at one time? Oh, it works. It just needs fuses.

Okay. Well, it takes... Great big fucking fuses in it like you'd pull out of a fucking thing at your house But it takes like 30 D batteries man. No, but I I geared it up to run off a computer cable like a power cord By that I mean when the base goes on it the lights dim Like it actually pounds. Oh she pounds Pounds hard as a newett. I love it. Yeah, Snoop.

Snoop, there's a laugh that for me. Last night I was all baked and I was reading this thing about certain female frogs will fuck their dudes and then they eat them. What? Yeah, you gotta be careful if you're a male frog. That's a banging eat. Sexual, sexual cannibalism.

That was the headline. And I was like, I gotta read this. Is there any other animals about frogs? I'm sure there's other animals. Certain humans, I think. Don't like fucking sharks or something do that? They might, I don't know. Sharks don't bang me.

You see, they're finding sharks all over the place up here now. I guess you get banged before you die, at least, but it's, yeah. Did you see they're finding sharks all over the place up here now? Oh yeah, it's cold water, water man out in Chester and stuff fucking big fins like that going around right by the shore yeah they found that whale where I'm from stuck in the really yeah ass of way like two weeks ago two two of them one of them died one they had to help get back up and send back up the Bay of Fundy or whatever it was that That's crazy. Yeah, they come back. Some of the river raft in place, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Reifer raft. Yeah, right in the old river raft boats. Oh, I thought you said reifer. No, man. The old riff raft out there. The old riff raft out there, buddy. You guys been watching the Olympics?

Yes, I've been watching Snoop Dogg at the Olympics. They haven't seen Snoop at the Olympics. That's the only reason I've been watching the Olympics. I was jealous of that track, so he fuck it, it was nice. Ha ha. Mmm. Gorgeous soup. It's been fucked up, things happen.

This one guy, I keep reading weird things about it too. This one field hockey guy, I think it's from Australia. He broke his finger like four weeks before the Olympics and was going to take four to six months to heal. He's like, well I I wanna be in the Olympics. I said, well, the only way is if we amputate it. No way, he didn't do it. He did.

He took it off. Crazy motherfuckers. Fuck it, take it off. What do you amputate? His finger, so he can play in the Olympics. Well, what sport was it again? Field hockey. You don't need your finger for that, you're picky.

Well, it depends on what finger. Apparently not. Yeah, but if you're picky. He couldn't have played with it broken, because it would have been in a splinter or some shit. So he's like, no. Get her off. Take her off.

Put it on ice, I'll reattach it after the Olympics. That's some dedication right there. He should have cryogenically froze it after the Olympics, get her put back on. So did they get the beds figured out on campus there at the Olympics? The beds? The beds, because I heard the beds are like,

you can't even bang them. They design them so you can't find them. Oh yeah, I see that. They collapse or some shit. Yeah, like. Cardboard maybe, or a certain amount of weight. Non-sex beds or something. They're still banging though, I hope.

I mean, that's what I mean, but you can go to the Olympics. You don't need a bed to bang. What about the messed up thing? Did you see this guy? I don't know if we want to get into this, the guy who got charged for rape? What?

No, I didn't hear about that. He just got into jail. Rape and a 12 year old girl, you get six or four years and he's on the volleyball team. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I'm talking about? I heard about that.

There's a couple messed up things in the Olympics this year that are like. They should use his head as the volleyball. Straight up. We're not gonna get into the soccer. That's spiking our guy. The soccer, oh yeah. One headline.

What was Canada doing there? What was this week? There's a Canadian press, Canadian paper or something, the headline said, Women's Rugby Team Fails to Win Gold Olympics. It's like, go fuck yourselves. They shouldn't even have been in the God damn gold medal game.

Should have said, Canadian Women Win Silver. Explanation mark, explanation mark. Yeah, celebrate that. Yeah, why would they pick the negative aspect and say, they didn't win the gold?ers press seems like that negative stuff They're like headlines bring in a little quicker Right me fucking want to rage Yeah, so they did win silver they did which is incredible. They're fucking only ranked 9th or 10th in the world. Well, I just didn't win

Silver's pretty great. You're a fucking kid. Silver's damn good. So are Canadians, are they like making money if they want a fucking medal? Because I see like there's some places that are fucked that are like paying their athletes almost a million bucks if they want a medal.

I don't think Canadian athletes get that. I don't think so. Maybe certain ones. Oh, some of them are getting like fucking Poland or something, or China, they're giving their athletes. Oh, Switzerland. No, it's like like fucking Poland or something or China they're giving their out. Probably Switzerland. No it's like please please like China and Japan.

Oh I could see China doing it. Seven hundred grand are you kidding me. That's what they get paid annually. No just if they win a medal that's a bonus. That's bonus. That's good little bonus. I saw something that showed all the medals and it showed what they were worth in America. It's like a gold medal was like $43,000.

What? Yeah, I can't remember. So that's real gold? Yeah, I don't know if that's what they pay for or that's what you can sell it for in the market if you want to sell your gold medal because your country's not paying you enough to be there. I was wondering if they were real gold or just... I think they're real gold, aren't they?

They gotta be $43,000. You would hope. The World Olympics, like... They have to have gold in them. I get why, like, my daughter's basketball team's fake gold, but the Olympics, you'd think, would be... That'd be expensive if you got, like, a big fucking team with 15 or 20 people on it. Expensive medals.

Wow. Did you see the speed skater lady? No. Speed skating? In the summer? Yeah, what the fuck, Bubs? No, you're talking about the one that doubled everyone? Yeah. Yeah, I saw that yesterday.

Did that not just happen? No, no, that was from like some other games or whatever. Oh, I saw it coming. Who's Bubs? Yeah, it was in the Olympics. So what happened? Well, I thought it just happened, but I didn't even think why would it be at the Summer Olympics. Some 17-year-old girl was racing in the Olympics,

you know those long ones where they skate and they do 100 laps. You know those speed skaters, but it's long endurance. She just fucking went full tilt right out of the gate. Just sprinted and then lapped everybody. And then was in last place of everybody and just stayed there for the whole thing. So they kind of forgot that they lapped her

and she just stayed behind them and won it all. Then she just stayed behind them, drafting, right right so that she's got no wind resistance. She doesn't have to use as much energy She's staying at the back, but she's a full lap ahead everybody. She's fucking smart. Yeah, it's really smart. Oh, it's crazy she never happened before. She emptied the tank, lapped some people and then she just sat back. Yeah, and then she got in the draft and didn't have to fucking exert as much energy. Some people are smart.

Smart. Smart. Smart are smart. Smart. Smart. Smart. Smart. Smart. Look at this big fucking dog. Look at this guy. Isn't that the guy that got overfed and was getting jaded?

He got overfed, man. Yeah, he's got a poor... The owner's going to jail? Yeah. He's going to jail for two months. Shit. Overfed. Big shit beast there. I didn't know that was a car.

He died. Kind of looks like my dog, I'm not gonna lie. We got a golden retriever and he's a big boy. Not quite that big, but. Looks a little bit like that. That's what I mean, he looks like a fucking baloney log. Yeah, he does look like a baloney. He's not in great shape.

Well, he's dead. Oh, the dog's dead? Oh, the dog died? Okay. Oh yeah, she overfed it to death. Oh yeah, he's a big boy, big baloney log. Yeah, they put him on this blanket with the fucking handles on it.

They're like, all right, bud, die. Just fucking killed him out of there. Lifted him up. So what would the owner get charged? Got charged for overfeeding this big shit beast. What would the official charge be? I would say... Overfeeding the fucking dog.

Animal cruelty? Yeah, I guess. Animal abuse? I don't know. That's what it would be. She fed the fucking thing ten pieces of chicken a day, plus plenty of dog biscuits. Animal cruelty? Yeah, I guess. Animal abuse? I don't know. That's what it would be. She fed the fucking thing ten pieces of chicken a day, plus plenty of doggy biscuits. Jesus Christ. The Colonel's chicken is her ace.

It must have been fried chicken, because normal chicken wouldn't put that kind of weight on a dog. Oh, no, no. It was definitely fried chicken. That's a lot. If it was Kentucky Fried Chicken, that's a heavy bill, too, man. But if it was just like chicken, you know, like a grilled chicken, it wouldn't put that much weight on him. No, man. Like a grilled chicken breast? He's also probably a lazy cocksucker.

Yeah, but he doesn't walk too much. He'd have to be lazy for that big. He can't walk, man. No, but I mean, to get to that point, he must have been lazy for you. You're not fucking chasing frisbees with that body size. Nope. Oh well, poor Nuggy, he's gone. See you, bud. Poor Nuggy. Probably just died poor Nagy, he's gone. See you bud.

Poor Nagy. Probably just died. One for, what's his name? Nagy. One for Nagy, man. One for Nagy. Or one out for Nagy. Sorry, Nagy.

At least he wasn't starving to death, I guess. Yeah. No? He's probably happy this time. One way or the other, yeah, yeah. All right, there's a whole team of ladies here, guys. If you're gonna go to death, I guess. Yeah. No? He's probably happy. One way or the other. Yeah, yeah. All right, there's a whole team of ladies here, guys. If you're going to go to Peru, you do not. You've got a woman or something and think you want to cheat on her?

Got a what? A woman? Oh. What would it be? You don't want to do it because there's a fucking gang of chicks here called the Phoenix Squad. The what? The infidelity-busting female detective team.

And they look like they're not fucking around. So what they do, they try to get you to cheat, and then they... They'll catch it. You're cheating, they're catching it. What are they called, the Penis Team? No, the Phoenix fucking... Just a second. How the fuck would they know? The Phoenix Squad.

Why would they call themselves the Phoenix Squad? Because they're rising out of the ashes. They're hardcore, man. All right, so don't fuck around in Peru, I guess. So what do they do? They entrap you? They entrap you into it? Well, let's say, I mean, they're beautiful looking women.

I'd say they're coming up to them and say, hey bud, you wanna get some shit going? And then going down. The guy's like, yeah, let's go. So it's entrapment cheating. It is. Well, kinda, but fuck it. They're part of the problem, too.

That's right. So if you wanna fuck around Peru, you just go on vacation to a different country? Just say you have a wife, wear a ring, and... That's right. You'll get hit on. Well, I mean, the worst thing it could've done was release this photo of these guys.

That's right. They all kinda look the same, actually. All right, fuck it. Can't say that. What were you doing? They're all beautiful. what was in your search engine to come up with that one? Yeah, what are you searching over there?

Married men in Peru. Which countries where you should not fuck around in? Well, I know you can't in Peru. You don't wanna do that. But. What are they gonna do to you? Send it to your wife, is that what they do? Send it, yeah.

Is that what they do? They take pictures and find your partner? Seeking married men. No, I bet you they're for hire. I bet you ladies hire them and say, can you go hit on him and see what he says? And you know, it's not just the men. They're going after the women too that are cheating. Self-righteous bastards. But that's probably what it is. The people can hire them and say, hey, can you go hit on that fellow over there?

How does that work with the women though? So the women have to be bisexual or? Yes, this is, I don't know, Julien, you're confusing the fuck up here. I guess unless they just, you know, married wives are married wives and they just go for them. I don't know. Yeah, that's a weird one. Or do they have a group of men on the team in Phoenix?

These guys are fucking- The B team. They bring the B team in. B team. Bring in the B team. Let's see if they do get the B team here. They gotta dig a little deeper. Wow.

This is fascinating. No, I think it's just the ladies. They dabble in everything. Okay. Wow. Isn't that something? You guys been to Peru? No.

No? We paid a guy to go to Peru. Yeah. I think he's still there, isn't he? No, he's not. He got out. Oh yeah, he's out. You ever been to Peru? No. No, I hear it's pretty wild.

No. I haven't been to South America. No. No, I've never been to South America. We gotta go to South America. Let's do it. Out of the park, South America. People watch us in Brazil.

We got a huge following in Brazil. And Peru. And we're singles. And you're a guac. You don't got to worry about. I can't fucking believe it. You gotta go look for the Peru Cheating Squad. No, yeah.

The who? The Cheating Squad. Peru Cheating Catcher Squad, whatever they are. Phoenix Dean. The Phoenix. The Phoenix Squad. Phoenix Squad. Sounds like a TV series.

Yeah. Can't fucking believe like a TV series. Yeah. Can't fucking believe it's August the 2 already. The guy from Warner Brothers, you know, he's from Canada? Which guy? Jack Warner. Jacob Warner. Where in Canada? He started Warner Brothers, and he's from fucking London,

Ontario. London, Ontario? I did not know that. It's a great time. I didn't know that. Who gives a fuck, Ontario? I did not know that. Great time. I didn't know that. Who gives a fuck, Ricky? It's one of the biggest companies in the fucking world. Yeah, I just didn't know it was Canadian.

Canadians claiming Canadians, man. That's what we do. That's right. All right, okay guys, whatever. Wander Brothers. So I assume his brother was too, or was he born in the States? I guess it must have been Jack and Jacob from the looks of this, but I can't really tell. Jack and Jill, the looks of this, but I can't really tell.

Jack and Jill, maybe. No. Wes Craven got born on this day. Made that fucking scary movie. Wes Craven, yes. What was his big scary one? Uh, Nightmare in Elm Street, wasn't it? Yep.

Fucking right. And Scream. We met him. We met, we met we met Freddie The fucking dude that invented the place. Did he play Freddie? No, no, that was Robert England. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Okay, we met Robert England a couple weeks ago a few months ago PlayStation inventor got born today Ken to the terror reggae He wasn't dressed up, but he sells the glove the leather glove with the thing He autographs those and sells on their plate expensive. It's pretty cranky dude, though, isn't he?

They cranky he's got a he's got a chin beard. So anybody I've known that has a chin beard They're not the friendliest. Let me know. What's the chin beard? Just a beard down here, but like no beard here Oh, it's just like a littles sort of there and comes out. Okay. Nothing up here, just... Friar Tuck. Did he get one of those? No, Friar Tuck had...

No, you're thinking more of his top of his head, Friar Tucks. Judge Ito from the O.J. Simpson trial got born today. Guilty or not guilty? Oh, he's guilty, man. O.J.? Oh, yeah. He was totally guilty. Did he die? He's dead. O.J. died. Recently, right? Yep. Yeah, he's guilty, man. OJ? Oh, yeah. He's totally guilty.

Did he die? He's dead. OJ died. So like recently, right? Yep. Yeah. A couple months ago. He went sour.

Ha ha. Get it? OJ? Kevin Smith, one of your faves, bubs. Is he? Kevin Smith, born today? Yep. 1970.

Yeah, Kevin Smith. Edward Furlong, the fucking John Connor from Terminator 2. Oh, yeah, 1970. Yeah, Kevin Smith. Edward Furlong, the fucking John Connor from Terminator 2. Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, he's good, isn't he? Yeah. Oh, Eddie Axelrod. That's how I know that name.

Oh man, you like wrestling, Bubs. Davey Boy Smith Jr. Oh yeah. And Lily Gladstone, she was the actress in Killers of the Flower Moon. She did a great job. I don't see why. I can't believe you watched the whole fucking thing, Ricky. It took me four sit downs, but I got through it.

It was well done. I don't do well with four hour moves. I don't have the attention span. No, you gotta do four hours. And you're too big for it. What's the thing? Pass out. Yeah, the drug buzzer's all over the place over four hours, so... All right, class, so you got a tour coming up in November, right?

Yeah, yeah, going across this country again. Nice. Yeah. We'll have to try to catch a show. Yeah. It's the Welcome to the Maritimes Tour. So if you guys want to come through, you can come through. So how long is it? November and end of December or just November? November 4th to December 5th or 6th.

Okay, because we're going to be, you're premiering a movie. It might line up, you never know. Oh yeah, yeah. Never know. End of November, beginning of December. Nah, that'd be dope. We're bringing a bunch of East Coast artists. Rhea May, Jordan.

Oh nice, Rhea's awesome. Yeah, she's wicked. Yeah, Rhea's amazing. She's great. Any shows before that? Any one-offs? Yeah, yeah, we got, what are we doing? We're about to net something on Citadel Hill here. Nice.

September 16th. See, that'd be cool. Part of the Shindig Fest. To perform on Citadel Hill would be awesome. I've never did it yet, so it was kind of one of those things of like, okay, let's take that. Yeah. That would be cool.

Then we're doing something for the Navy. We're doing something for Habitat for Humanity. Yeah, September 20th, Habitat for Humanity concert. We'll be doing that. I'm gonna be there. Something on Cape, right? Clauses, I'm gonna be there. Yeah, yeah.

So a couple local ones and then hitting the road in November. Where's the tour start? Winnipeg. Winnipeg. Starting in Winnipeg. Getting the bus, taking it to Vancouver, then fly to Toronto, get on a different bus, and then do Ontario.

Do you like touring? Do you like the bus life? It's tough, man. I like from nine till five in the morning. Yeah, yeah. The rest of the day, it's just get through it and get to the night. Yeah, it can be exhausting.

It's good when you're with people you can enjoy being around. I can do like windows, like a couple weeks, two or three weeks But then it's like holy fuck you talked to bands I do find though after like two weeks you kind of get so used to it. Yeah. Okay, I couldn't do this for a while Yeah, but yeah, no, we kept it to four weeks just for that reason. I'm like You guys do boss and hotels or just boss. We just do bus

We'll get a couple hotels just to go freshen up and all that, but if we're paying for the bus, I'm not paying for hotels for everyone. That's a good idea. Bus is too expensive these days. It's probably not that expensive. But I couldn't do, I could never do a minivan driving seven hours a day again.

Never doing that again. That's when it's over when we can't afford the bus. Once you can get to sleep on a bus, it's great. Because then you wake up, you're in a different fucking town. This is the best. You go all night with the boys, it's four in the morning, you pass out, you wake up, open the window, go, oh, we're here. I sleep like a baby on the bus. Yeah, when you get home, you try to go to sleep in your own bed, you're like, what the

fuck, there's no movement. There's no brrr. Oh yeah, those bunks on those buses, I tell everybody when it's like the first time going, I'm like, you'll sleep like a baby in the. Yeah, and you bring a mattress upgrade. No, oh never used to you gotta start doing that I find that they can't get any better. Oh, no Little world and tell you right now get yourself a mattress upgrade You just get the twin fits right in there Can we take the other one out or put it on top put a raid on the fucking top?

I don't know, man. You only got like this much room for your head already. I'm not trying to... Last tour we had condo bunks. Oh yeah, we had condo bunks. Oh yeah, the spread out ones with only two on the side or whatever. Yes, fucking nice.

You guys live in the high life. No, it was just an accident. You guys don't have Randy on your bus sometimes like we do. He usually seats under my bunk for some fucking reason. And the smell that comes out. He likes staring up and imagining your ass right there. The smell that comes out from him, it's fucking, from pepperoni to booze to ass.

Who's the cocksucker? I'll smell it. I think it was Berenick Lees, maybe, and his wife had to have a bus bunk built for him. That was Ed. When he got home, so he could sleep when he got home from tour. Ed Robertson. He built one in his house?

Yeah. His wife built one. That's hilarious. His wife, for Christmas, gave him up. She called the tour bus company and said, can you make an exact replica of what his pump would be? Put it in the house, wow. Put it in the bedroom.

That's nice. Because he couldn't go to sleep. Did he have the sound of the generator and shit too? Yeah. That's fucked up, man. How can my wife not do that? I had all that stuff. Ideas. Actually, last up, man. How come my wife won't do that? I had all that stuff. Ideas.

Actually, last tour, I had the, do you ever hear of the bus that has the room in the back? Yeah. So I had that last time. That's awesome. I was living like a king last time. That's a game changer. Yeah, yeah. That was nice.

The Star Coach, it's called. Exactly, yeah, the Star Coach. Yes, we had the Star Coach one time. Remember we were over, where was it we got that fucking Mad Max bus over in Germany? That was in England. And the guy lived on it underneath the bus? Steve was his name. And his wife was the driver?

He lived under the stairs. Yes, and he was a big man. And it was a school bus with a screen door cut in the side of it. You look like a barbarian. I had his wife with him and they liked to drink. When she drank, she was a fucking Wanted everybody on the bus. Yeah, this is the driver's wife. Yeah

It's like an old school bus painted flat black. Yeah, so was this you guys's bus or you just saw this bus No, we were on it was our bus Showed up? Yeah, exactly. Oh, man. School bus painted flat black and it had a screen door from a house caught in the fucking side of it. He tried to have all these rules, but got broken day one. No weed smoking? No, nothing.

Really? Do you remember what the first rule was? Was it no drinking? No shit on the bus. No? No? Oh, yeah. That's always a... The curtain?

Yes. That was the first. He had, you know, on bus they have the sort of, you know, the vinyl-y leather kind of curtain. Yeah, yeah, yeah, between the driver and the coach. No, I mean for each bunk, they got the heavy vinyl curtain. He just had nice like linen curtains with like doily pattern around them.

Now I remember. The first rule was no wiping your knob on the curtain. Which so it must have been a problem. He's had a lot of... He's had a lot of knob wiping going on. A lot. I was just using the curtain. That bus was fucked. That was a fucked tour bus.

And then next time we went over we had one of those double decker ones. The upstairs... it's great having double decker upstairs You're walking like this. Oh when you're yeah, but there's about 27 bunks and the fucking thing. It doesn't work when you're drunk walking around That's what I was on. I was on when I was torn with billy bob. I stayed on his bus and he had one of those long Upstairs buses and for some reason mr Lay thought it was a good idea to be naked all the time on the bus. Always naked on that bus. We wake up to go past 7 a.m. and he's naked.

Yeah. I came into the front lounge one night about 4 in the morning. I couldn't sleep. I opened the bus and Lay was just standing there buck naked with his hands on his hips looking out the window. Taking it in. Looking out. We were going through Wales and all the glass front You know where you could have the observation deck. He had his hands on his hips. I just closed the door Drunk, he was probably drunk. Oh, he was drunk Sure, he was drunk Tour life, huh bus life

Yeah, so that's what I'm getting ready for a little bit of that excitement Awesome, man. Fuck. I hope we can hook up and wall in the way. I'll be wicked, man. You guys are the staple of the East Coast, so if you guys show up, one of these welcome to the Maritimes party, that'd be dope. How far out do you go? Right to the, or Victoria.

Oh, we should go to Victoria, man. Yeah, Victoria's nice. We haven't been to Victoria in a while. It's nice over there. So long as there's not too many fucking zombie people. I don't think they hit Victoria that much. What are they calling them now? The fucking fentanyl.

Head downers. Head downers? Fuck they are. I forget what they're called. Bent over people that'll stare in at the ground. Sad. Fucking, they're everywhere. It's fucking sad.

It's terrible. It seems to be getting worse and worse. Yeah. It's terrible. All right, everybody stay off the fentanyl, please. Looking pretty fucked out there. All right, is that it, boys? I guess so. Thanks for coming on. Yeah, thanks for coming on, brother.

Good luck with the tour. Yes. Good to see you. Oh, we've got to. Fella Nova Scotia kicking some ass. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I haven't seen you guys since the Snoop Show, so we were all feeling good that night.

I think I'm still recovering from that. Yeah, I don't know. That was a rough night.