Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 11 - When A S**t Day Goes Good

Episode Date: June 17, 2019

Ricky's blue because his bank heist went to s**t last night - literally! Thank fack Bubbles and Julian - and a big TPB fan - have something to cheer him up. The Boys also invent Cottonloaf cupcakes, discuss a greasy new perfume, and admire Bubbles' Meat Man!

. . . . . . . Ricky! Ricky!

Hey, bud! What's up there, Ricky Dicky Dicky? Check it out! Hey, boys. We got a fucking big box of shit, man. What are you doing? You guys gonna have to do what that would be. What? I'm not feeling it today. What are you doing? You guys are going to have to do without me. What? I'm not feeling it today. What do you mean you're not feeling it today?

What are you talking about? I'm feeling like a fucking loser and starting to question my whole resistance. Why? What the fuck are you talking about? Come on, Ricky. Come on, we got a box of shit here, man. Look. You ever feel like shit just always goes wrong? Like, it's just fucked.

Yeah. Shit's always going wrong, man. But fuck it. Come on. What happened? I was going to be fucking set rich somewhat today, and now, no, nothing. What happened?

Covered in cow shit. You what? You got covered in cow shit? Ricky, what the fuck happened? Why are you so blue? Corey and I, and Jacob tried to fucking break into a bank machine last night. All right.

So what happened? Well, I thought it would fucking be simple. We'll blow a torch, just fucking, you know, get the hinges cut off and fucking open her up and grab the money and gone. Fucking less than a minute,

right? No. Ricky. Dumbass Corey must not have heeded, I don't know what the fuck he did, but he fucking welded the hinges shut. Couldn't fucking do anything. That's why you're sad, because you tried to rob a bank machine and it went wrong, so now you feel like a

loser. Get the fuck out. Get the fuck out. Why did you just smash into the fucking thing? Well, I fucking tried. I rammed it with my fucking car. And I wouldn't do it. Or, here's an idea. Don't rob bank machines. Without me.

And then I got fucking chased by the cops. Ended up in a goddamn... Ricky. That farmer that shot me twice. Ran it up one of his fields. Got the car stuck in the mud. Fucking cows were walking by. And this cow projectile shit's right in my head.

You guys saw a cow actually shit on you? Ricky. I didn't even know it was possible. Fucking shot about fucking ten feet. Right in my goddamn head. That's what cows do, man. They spray shit. Yeah, I'm not feeling this today.

Now get the fuck over here. We got a box. Look at this. This is for you, man. This came in to the swear net, people, and it's made out to you. What the fuck are you talking about? See, there's all kinds of shit. Love you, man.

People fucking love you, bud. Look, Ricky, it's from Boston. you. What the fuck are you talking about? See there's all kinds of shit. Love you man. People fucking love you, but... Look Ricky, it's from Boston. Ricky LaFleur, right on it. Look at that. Wow. Look at the stuff in here. Look, new oven mitt. Check these fucking things out, man.

I'll feed all you fuckers. I like this oven mitt. Try one of those cocksuckers. What is this now? Peanuts and they got candy. Great from Boston. Boston baked beans. Boston's specialty, but it's not a baked bean.

It looks like a baked bean. It's a candy peanut. One for you, one for me. Candy peanuts. Pretty fucking good. Look at this. Amazing animal facts. No way.

I like animals, I think. Five pack of the fucking macaroni and cheese pie. Craft dinner. Holy shit. That's the good shit. Check this out, Ricky. Who needs the fucking raw back? What the fuck is that? A bacon cooker.

Fucking cook your bacon just like... Holy fuck. This is like fucking better than Christmas. I've never got anything this nice. Is that bacon?

That's a bacon fucking Ritz Cracker sandwich, bud, with cheese. Bacon and cheese. Look at this. Thought Ricky could read to Maul. There's a book

there for Maul. Got some a book there for Maul. Got some pepperoni sticks, nine-pack. Not like the six-packs we get here. Nobody likes a cock block. No, that's probably a good little children's lesson. Look at this, Ricky. Fry Daddy. You got your own... You're shitting me right now.

It's a safe deep fryer. I don't have to make french fries in the pot anymore? Nope. Salami. A fucking bag of salami already cut up. Rick, how many trailers did you burn down over the years that if you had one of these, it wouldn't have happened? I only burned two down and then I burned half of my other one. Well, two's quite a bit for one lifetime, man. Here.

Jerry's kitchen got burned down. It's pepperoni. Pepperoni, salami. This is fucked. Yeah, check that fucking thing. Look at that meatloaf. The kitchen got burned down. It's pepperoni. Pepperoni, salami, this is fucked. Yeah, check that fucking thing. Look at that meatloaf. And that's not for putting up your ass.

It's to eat. That probably looks like the shit that come out of the cow, does it? It's not really a... don't even remind me of that. Rick, do you want a chip? Fucking... Do you want a tortilla? I've washed the face four times. Do you want a tortilla?

Here, try one of those. Try one of those, Ricky. What flavor are they? Just try one. That's just plain. I knew he'd do that. Fucking assholes. Okay, it's a chip clip, but check out these chips. We got into those chips. We got a chip clip on it, though.

Try them. Where is it? That's from somebody named Daniel Cotton. This is making me want to fucking cook. Well, eat, man. Eat those chips, buddy. Well, Ricky, you know what? Let's take all the meat and make a...

Let's make a meatloaf. Wanna? A meatloaf? Let's make a fucking meatloaf. With all this shit? We could make a meatloaf with this. No problem. You got any other meat in the fridge?

I got a fucking hamburger. Well, fuck. Let's do it. We're making a fucking meatloaf. All right, let me get some shit going. You guys get this stuff started. Alright. See, this is turning a fucking negative thing into a positive thing. I didn't even know that existed. You're gonna be making

bacon all the time, man. This is fucking beautiful. This thing went from shit to fucking good. That's what I'm trying to tell you, man. You gotta be positive. You got some onions. Look at this. I'll cut up some fucking onions. Stole that from the Costco. It's hard to fit that down my pants. Fuck, man. That's some onions. Look at this. I'll cut up some fucking onions. Stole that from the Costco. It's hard to fit that down my pants. Oh, what the fuck, man?

That's a lot of meat, man. Here, Ricky, can I take your cutting boards here? Oh, yeah, get that station all over here. Oh, fuck, you know what? We should get some rubber gloves if we're gonna be... Here, put that there, Julian. You know what, Rick? I'm gonna help you fucking cook today, all right?

I know what it's like to feel... Yeah, there, now you're cheered up. Don't you feel a little better? Get your buddies in here cooking some fucking loaf with you. I'm going to help you fucking cook today, all right? I know what it's like to feel full of shit. Yeah, there, now you're cheered up. Don't you feel a little better? Get your buddies in here cooking some fucking loaf with you. I'm feeling a little better. So look, Ricky, this came from a girl named Danielle Cotton, so let's make cotton loaf. Cotton loaf.

That's what we're going to call it. You can't eat cotton, bubs. No, no, there won't be cotton in it, I just mean. Okay, but we still have to do the thing. We still have to do the show, Julian. Say hi. What's going on, fuckers? This is another episode of Park After Dark.

You're with the trailer. I'm your host, Ricky LaFleur. Ricky's going to be the host today because he was in a bad mood. Now he's in a great mood. For now. You're going to stay in a good mood, man. Look at this fucking meat log. Look at that log of meat.

I don't want to get the coloring book off. Get excited, Bob. You know what, the only problem with fucking meatloaf... Smell that. Beautiful meat. What's the problem with meatloaf? It takes a while to cook. No, no, we're gonna, you know what we'll do? What?

Wasn't there a pan there? Look, see that little pan? We'll just make little tiny meatloafs. Oh, there's some onions in there. Like cupcake meatloafs. Cotton cupcakes. We should get some onions going. Cotton loaf cupcakes.

There you go. All right, I'll fucking chop up some onions. Hey, I don't want this to turn into a cooking show, but this is... You guys want some kitchen work gloves? Yeah, I'll take some work gloves. Look at those, Ricky. About nine cots of pepperoni there. Jesus Christ, this is gonna be ridiculous.

Here, why don't you cut some onions? You're a good onion cutter. I don't like cutting onions, man. Come on, man, you can do it. I'm doing it for you, buddy. What do you think we need of this? Like half? Where'd you get that, Ricky? Holy fuck. I need a good sharp one, boss.

That's like the Salt Bae guy. That's Trinity's. Don't let her know that we have it. You got a thing of salt I can do there? Yeah. Just a second. Bubs, have you had, like, a medical lately? You're not sticking that in my arse.

Just joking with you, man. I wouldn't do that to you. Yes, you would. Actually, to save you, I would fucking stick my fingers up your ass. I'll save this for some burger time. Okay, here. That's probably not... I need a job.

I need something to fucking... Okay, are we gonna... Oh, here, look. You take this. You cut up the fucking... those. And I'll do pretty much nothing.

Well, you should... All right, I'll do something. You should do something. Just let me fucking get rid of this burger. Do you guys want to talk about shit while we're cooking? Let's talk about shit. Bob, you've got to mention that fucking baseball team.

Oh, yeah? Did you see that, Ricky? This baseball team, they won the championships. And you know what they were saying when they were through the whole season? They were yelling, bam, like Phil Collins. Really? That was their thing. Good old Phil.

And they won? Yeah, they won the whole fucking state championship. Where are they from? I don't know. Joliet, I think it was. Edwardsville. Edwardsville, yeah. Edwardsville Tigers or something.

Jesus, I'm going to cut my fingers off here. How much cheese do you think we should put in this? Lots. Good. Fair bit. Fuck, man, boys. I can do this pretty good. Well, it's not. You don't. Fair bet. Fuck, man, boys. I can do this pretty good. Well, it's not.

You don't got to be a genius, Javon. Yeah, how many times have you fucking almost cut your finger off cutting onions up, huh? Not many. Man, Benny. So they won the championship yelling bam? Yeah, they were yelling bam. And they were mascots. They had a bam mascot.

And didn't the coach say, hey, they want the Costa Yellow Bam? And he was like, no, fuck that. He wouldn't give them a Bam. He wouldn't give them a Bam, man. He gave them a Bam, though, at the end. When they won the thing, he drove the ball into the ground and said, Bam. See, maybe that's what we should be doing with Corey and fucking Jacob. When they want the high five, which is fucking stupid,

and we say, fuck you, maybe we get them to say, hey, if you do this maybe today, you'll get a high five. Maybe. It worked for the fucking baseballs. Hey, Brett, Brett, Brett, watch yourself. Holy fuck, man, these things are strong. No, they're onions. Oh, look at this, maybe we could put this as the base,

you know, right in the bottom. You got to peel the skin off this fucking thing. I would fucking say you should, yeah. Oh, yeah, look there. That comes right off. Babs, don't put the fucking skin on me, man. You're pretty good with tubular fucking meats, though. Let me tell you. Yeah.

Okay, boys. So here, put the... I'll get some fucking meat in there. What do you do to not fucking start crying chopping these things up, bubs? Put them in the microwave. You, um... What?

No. This is not good. These things are strong, man. You put a finger in your ass. Keeps your eyes from tearing up Fuck Salami How do I get stuck fucking cutting onions up

Here try that Ricky I don't know if I should should I Oh it's beautiful Alright I'm going to try it as soon as I'm done Handling this Alright let's wait God damn it handling this. Here, just wait. God damn it.

Fuck you. Probably just do this and peel the whole log. Fuck you, fucking assholes. Fuck you, Onion. Fucking asshole. Fucking making me tear up right now. Fuck. Jesus, Ricky

It's starting to form into something Look at that, boys Peeled the whole log Peeled the whole log Get the fuck out of the bus Maybe we didn't cut this Cut the stuff up fine enough Why?

It's pretty fucked Boys, I'm crying Oh, it's gonna be delicious What are you crying about? I'm fucking crying, man I don't know Somebody hurt my feelings or something Was it Bub'm crying. Oh, it's gonna be delicious. What are you crying about? I'm fucking crying, man. I don't know. Somebody hurt my feelings or something.

Was it Bubbles? Yeah. Thanks, Bubbs. What? You made him cry, man. Thanks, man. I appreciate you hurting my feelings, man. Fuck off, Julian.

Fuck you. I'm not fucking crying. Julian doesn't cry. He's too muscular. What does that mean? There's lots of fucking people that cry, Bubbs. Look at these meat coins I'm cutting, boys. All these meat coins. All right, is that enough onion?

You want another one? No, that's enough, man. Okay, yeah, that's it. Okay, here, boys. It's meat. You want to move on to cheese? Give me some cheese, buddy. How do you want these cut?

I don't know. Use your imagination. Okay, boys, we should probably, you know, it's not a cooking show, so we should probably talk. Okay, so what do you want to talk about? Do you want to talk about that perfume that smells like semen? What? What the fuck are you talking about, man? This guy invented a perfume that smells like semen.

Why? It was something to do with his... He was really worried about the whole AIDS, HIV epidemic in the 80s, so it stuck with him and it inspired him to... Inspired him? What the fuck do you mean? What does AIDS have to do with making

load-fucking-perfume? Uh, just a second now. Let me get my hand to your hands. Uh... It's called Secretion Magnifique. So it's French.

Yeah, I was inspired by his New Year's when he was worried about HIV and AIDS epidemic of the 80s. It says you were lost between attraction and repulsion.

What? Etienne de Sward was the creator. So yeah, you're torn between attraction and

load. Okay, I show my hands. No, and repulsion. I show my hands. Attraction, repulsion. I show my hands. Attraction, repulsion. I show my hands, you would wear fucking load perfume.

Who would put that on? You would. Don't put my arm up. You would, man, I knew it. I can't imagine anybody liking the smell of that. Hey, do we have breadcrumbs? Do we have breadcrumbs? I hope I does.

This is going to turn into a fucking disaster. No, it's going to be great. It's going to be fantastic. How hamburger-y are your hands? I don't know. They're cheesy and onion-y, man. I'll get the fucking things. God damn it.

It's all going to the same spot, Ricky. This is going to be fantastic cotton puff Ricky. This is gonna be fantastic cotton. This is what it'd be like if you had no hands. Jesus, Ricky. Okay, we got breadcrumbs. Okay, how much of these do you think? I don't know, man. Lots, man.

Yeah, this is probably pretty good. Maybe another one once you get it going. All right, what else are we talking about besides load perfume? Where did you even hear about that, Ricky? I was watching this thing on the... Holy fuck, boys. I don't know if the G should go in. So how much is this load perfume going for?

I bet you they're selling it for like 500 bucks a bottle. I can't remember if it was 50 or 90, but... 50 or 90. It's reasonable. That's what he... It's reasonable. Here's an idea. If your lady wants fucking load perfume on her...

It says it has hints of saliva. What were you going to say? Maybe you should just help her out and give her the real deal. Right from the source? You know, down here, down here. You like to smell that? Well, here we can work something out. Julian, are you suggesting that you just blast one?

Well, if your girlfriend wants you or your wife wants you to, man, why not? You're married. Put a little bit on the wrist, a little on the neck. You're all set. Smelling like load. So you're going to go around blasting people on the wrists? No, just,

I'm talking about people that, I'm not just gonna go blast for the bus. I told you, if you had a girlfriend or you're married, I would do that for them. Oh my God,

this is a fucking disaster. You guys know, Ricky, this is gonna be fantastic. Oh, you know what? Want a little bit of bacon flavor to this fucking, this meatloaf? What's that?

Ritz crackers. Well, I don't know. Nope, these will fucking taste great. Easy fuck. Just gotta crush them up, man. I'll tell you what we do need. We need a bit more burger in the fridge. All right?

Yeah. Okay. Here, dump this shit in, man. What the fuck? It's crackers, man. It's like a fucking panko kind of thing, right? That's not anything like panko. No, can you ever smell the bacon?

Your mom's fucking panko. That's what we're talking about, man. Where's the burger at, Ricky? Top shelf, baby. Okay, here. How much do you want? Just a little half of that, baby. Okay, here. How much do you want? Just a little half of that, maybe. Oh, it feels nice with the gloves on.

Yeah, it does, doesn't it? It feels like. Almost makes you want to go to the bathroom. Makes you want to go to the bathroom, but do what? It feels like Play-Doh. Makes some perfume. Here, I'm going to make a little meat man. A little Play-Doh meat man.

All right. You know what? We should make a little meat man. We'll do this. We'll set them up here. This is fucking lame. Especially the people that can't see this shit. Yes, for the people that can't see it, we are making a... Cotton loaf with pepperoni salami. Summer sausage. Pepperoni lit-ets. Pepperettes. Whatever the fuck they're called. Hamburger? Onion? Jalapeno cheese? What do you think, boys? No! Boston baked beans? No, no, no! Not happening! Not yet. This is a Boston...

No, those go on as a topping at the end. I think we should just bake them in, man. You can put some in yours if you like. Here, Julian. Boss, what's that? Here, can you just grab that for me? Just get the fuck away from me. That's what we should have made.

Meatloaf crocks. Man, I will fucking flip that. No, this isn't... No, I'm not allowing it. These are going to be toppings. You don't want... Fuck you, Zed. Toppings for the end.

All right, we're putting some dry rib chips in then. No. Jesus Christ. Okay. Jesus Christ! Okay! Just put them in! We don't know about it. We're not just making a lame old fucking meatloaf here. We're making a Boston cotton fucking cupcake loaf. I'm making a meat man.

Here's his little meat head. Wow, this is really exciting. Alright, I'll get out the old laptop and see what the fuck I can do. Thank you. I'm fucking bored, and I'm not even watching or listening. Put this in the fridge, man. I can't deal with that.

I got fucking meat bugs. All right, I'll do everything, okay? Just let old fucking Julian take care of business. There's the start of my meat, man. Is that his cock? No, that's his head and his body. Boys, we should have put some macaroni and cheese in this motherfucker. It's not cooked.

I know. We should have cooked it up. You leave the cooking to me and Ricky. Okay, Ricky, I think she's loafy enough. Yeah, you think she's good? Yeah. So look. All right. Then just take them and just make them into little

balls like that, okay? Then you just... Do you have any Pam? Do you have any spray? Pam? Don't use fucking Pam. You might need a little cooking spray. Those fucking Pam things explode on people, you know that? Did you hear about that? No.

Excuse me. Don't make shit up. They've been exploding on people, fucking people over. Okay, this is going to be... Boys, they've been exploding on people. Fucking people over. Okay, this is gonna be, boys, these are gonna be unbelievable. Little cotton loaves, right in there. They'll cook quicker this way. They'll cook quicker this way, Ricky.

This is gonna destroy my fucking oven, isn't it? No. This is fantastic. Little meat. Oh, these are going to be unbelievable, boys. All right, pull it at the lappy. Lappy's out. Let's get happy.

I'm glad you're more happy now, Ricky. Yeah, man. Well, boys, it wasn't a fucking great night. It would be a total fucking death. Not only was I hanging out with Corey and Dick Chop, I got shit on by a cow. Burnt. What was that like? The shit on the cow? You shit on the cow? No, sorry.

It's the cow's shit in my head. The fucking cow shot a shit missile at me. I've never seen anything like it. Holy fuck, boys. The flip phone is just celebrating its 30th anniversary. 30 fucking years ago that thing came out. Yeah? And this company's saying, you want to use it? Fuckboys, the flip phone is just celebrating its 30th anniversary. 30 fucking years ago that thing came out. Yeah?

And this company's saying, you want to use it for a week? I'll pay you $1,000. I don't understand. Should I sign us up or what? I'll do it for a week. I don't understand. Is the oven on, Ricky? Yeah.

You got to suck your ass. The flip phone. You know the flip phones. We used to have flip phones. Yeah, but what does it say about this $1,000? I'm interested in that. Okay. They say if you ditch your other phone for a week,

which who gives a fuck, and you get the flip phone going, it's $1,000 in your pocket. Done. All right, I'm signing this up. We made way too much. Well, that just, we'll wrap that up. This is going to be a fucking grease inferno.

These ones are a little too high, man. Agreed. You got to account for the fucking grease. Because it's going to be greasy. Yeah, actually, you don't want the grease spilling over. Because that's how fucking trailers get caught. How would you know? Burn to the ground.

You're just a fucking wannabe. I've never wanted to burn a fucking trailer down. All right, I'll burn this trailer down if you really want to make the fucking thing a little more exciting wouldn't it okay well here's an exciting story a doctor over in malaysia it's not man he became addicted to meth after taking the drug to fucking cope with 48 hour shifts so if you're out there and you're sick, you got a doctor looking after you, make sure he's not on meth, because these guys are staying out

for like two days straight. Probing you and fucking cutting you open and shit. I hate meat gloves. I'm just working on my meat, man. So the doctor was on meth? He was on meth, man. Started to actually, he was on meth? He was on meth, man. Started to actually... He was on it for a long time.

We're talking nine years, man, on meth. Nine years and he was a doctor? Treating people. Fuck. All banged up like... Breaking bad. All right, little darlings. Cook away.

He was making a fucking meat man. Yeah, meat man. Put little eyes a fucking meat man. Yeah, meat man. Put little eyes on him, man. Look at this. You guys are fucked. Some eyes. He's got a... Put a nose on him.

He's got like a head and a mustache. Wow. Look at my little meat man. How are you going to transfer this guy into the oven? Don't wipe your fucking meaty hands on me. I was just saying, you son of a bitch. How's that feel? Fucking hat, swole.

Didn't like that, did you? Fucking meat on me, man. Here, just wait. I want to get this turned around so they can see him. See him at home. Look at him. Little meat man. Look at him, Ricky. I hope this stuff Little meat man. Look at him, Ricky.

I hope this stuff's still good. Look at him, Ricky. Oh, look. Oh. Oh, he's losing his wood. Yeah. I know as part of that, you're going to be eating first. No.

Putting it right in your mouth and savoring the taste for a good hour or so. Who is, your mom? You. Yeah, my mom. Here, let's get them back. So I also read it on the smart box that Beethoven's fucking hair is going to sell for 25 grand or more. I'd fucking buy that. Beethoven's hair?

Yep. Who has that? He, apparently in 1826, he cut off a lock, a significant lock of hair and he gave it to a- He was probably drunk. A penis friend of his. A penis friend? Yeah, someone who plays the piano, I guess, or whatever.

A pianist. Pianist, that's what it said. You said penis. Anyway, that's a lot of money for hairs. Should we cut some of ours off, just in case? No, man. Ricky, you're not Beethoven. No, no, we're not fucking Beethoven, man.

Do you know who Beethoven is? I know he played piano. Well, yeah, he did. He didn't just fucking play piano, man. Who was better in piano, him or Elton John? That's a good question. Two different styles. He was deaf, too, wasn or Elton John? That's a good question. Two different styles. He was deaf, too, wasn't he?

Which is pretty impressive. He went deaf. He wasn't deaf originally. It's like Stevie Wonder. I don't know how they do it when they can't hear. Stevie Wonder's not deaf. Stevie Wonder's not deaf. Stevie Wonder's blind.

Oh, fuck, yeah, I fucked up. Beethoven was a composer, Ricky, like a famous, probably the most famous composer of all time. Beethoven. More fancy than the M-O-Z guy? Mozart? Yes, I couldn't remember the end of it. Well, they're all up there in the same category.

Beethoven, Mozart, Bach. Elton John, Billy Joel. Billy Joel's pretty good too, man. I'm not saying they're not, it's just two different styles. I mean, if Beethoven was writing pop songs, he might have wrote Glass Houses. No, man, he didn't do that.

You don't know. Beethoven, those guys were rock stars. Like, Mozart was an actual rock star back in the, you know, whenever he lived, 1700s. Seems like a weird thing to spend 25 grand on. And Sotheby's said they've had a lot of interest. But no, because then you've got his DNA. You might be able to clone him and build a new Beethoven.

And then you own all his royalties from his future. You know, if they clone Beethoven, then all of a sudden he's the new Billy Joel and you own him. What if he didn't turn out the same? Maybe it was other that made him good at that well it could have been wildlife he hung out with as a young boy you just watched the way they all worked together and it made sense to him i just mean beethoven if you grew a new beethoven chances are he's going to be pretty good at music. Well, let's try it. And then you get a new song out of him,

couple new Beethoven songs, which nobody's heard for decades, centuries actually. And then you get him on Spotify, Beethoven 2.0. Oh, God, that's starting to smell fucking good. Don't let it burst into flames, Ricky. And if it's a grease fire, don't throw fucking water on it, whatever you do.

Why? Fire puts out water. Or no, the other way around. Not a grease fire. Not a grease fire, man. Never throw water on a grease fire, Ricky. Water is bad for fire. That's what I was told in time. Not a grease fire, because if you throw it on a grease fire, it turns into a fucking fireball. It would blow you right out that door. So grease burns water. No, man, no. It catches on fire on the fuck, and then once the water hits it, boom, it splashes. It splashes and it creates a fucking fireball. And then you're like little fireballs everywhere, man.

Fuck, you should have learned that by now. Oh, Wrecky, I got to cook my meat, man. Do you got to give me a spatula? I need a spatula and just a tray. Perfect. Great. Look at that. Where'd you get that?

Let me just get meat man here. It's not totally clean, but it's fairly clean. Let me just get him on. Okay. Ready? Yep. Here he comes. Oh, his head came off.

Lost his head, bud. It's all right here. He has a better head than his cock. Just wait. Now I can. Here, no, he's easy. No, here, he's easy. He's easy to put back together.

Just put him like that. Put his little head on there. Meat man. You want to panko this guy with some breadcrumbs? No, I want him just straight up meat. Aw, look at him. Meat man. Meat man. Meat man.

In you go, meat man. He's adorable, man. About to be killed. In you go, meat man. We're sacrificing you, bud. Make our lives better. This is smelling good, boys. It's going to be a good one.

All right, that's going to cook quick, by the way. The oven's on 450. That's going to be fucking done in minutes. All right, wake me up cook quick, by the way. The oven's on 450. That's gonna be fucking done in minutes. All right, wake me up when it's ready. Rick. How can he do that? How the fuck, Ricky, wake up. Ricky.

All right, let's get this cleaned up, man. Those things are gonna be fucking done. How the fuck do you go to sleep so quick? Turn off my brain. Here, let's just get. Put that in the fridge or something so it doesn't go bad. There's no fucking way these things are cooked already.

Ricky, they're gonna be cooked. I'm telling you, they're fucking, it's on. Put that in the fridge or something so it doesn't go bad. There's no fucking way these things are cooked already. Ricky, they're going to be cooked. I'm telling you, they're fucking... It's on. I got the broiler on. Here, clear this off. It's time for some fucking cotton loaf. Throw those in the bowl, man. Holy fuck.

I told you. I fucking told you. Smell pretty fucking good, actually. These things are just fucking... Man, I don't know. Why? Here, set them right here, Ricky. It's like a grease soup.

Yeah, put them right here. They're gonna be fucking greasy. I think Meat Man's gonna cook a little bit longer. Oh, his meat cock fell off. What? Yeah. Oven must have ripped it off. Don't worry, that way you can just pick it right up and eat it, bubs. Here, set them here, Ricky. Fucking break fell off. What? Yeah. Oven must have ripped it off. Don't worry, that way you can just pick it right up and eat it, bubs.

Here, set them here, Ricky. Don't fucking break it off. Do you want plates and shit? Yeah, here, I got forks and knives. Where's your salt and pepper at, Ricky? It's probably in the salt and pepper cupboard. Where's that at? I don't know.

Oh, yeah, they look pretty fucking good, actually, boys. Oh, yeah, boys. It's up there on top of the fridge, bubs. Okay, get some plates, Ricky. Hold the fuck on here. Here's a little thing. We're going to pop them out with this. Yeah, here.

Oh, yeah. Look at these, Julian. Plate for you, sir. Look at that. Holy fuck. Look at the grease it left behind. Here, give me this little one right here. Which one, this one?

That little guy. Oh, that's not much of one. I'm not going to try it. I'm a picky eater, man. Here, try this one. There you go. Let me hold the fucking... There we go.

Look at the little cotton loaves, boys. Those are beauties. Bad we didn't have, like, corn on the cob or something with these things, right? Well, fuck. Some fake potatoes. You know with these things, right? Well, fuck. You know, sort of last minute notice here, bud. Next time. Ricky, get out the meat man. He's done.

You think he's done? Yes, he's done. You can't wait to dig into the meat man, eh, buddy? Well, I just, you know, I cooked him, so you might as well. Oh, no, his cock is still on. It was his arm that came off. Yeah, I knew he was going to stay hard. Look, there, he's cooked.

He's going to eat the cock. He's going to eat that, man. Look, that's cooked. He's cooked perfectly. He's not. He's cooked perfectly. Try these, boys. Look at these things. Get her in you, buddy. Let's try one of these sassy sluts. With the onions in it and fucking

what's in these things? Chips? Chips. Oh, my fuck. All the meats, cheese. Yep. Nailed it. Unbelievable. Cotton loaf. You know what?

These are fucking great, boys. Mm-hmm. We should open up a restaurant and sell these things. What, cotton loaves? Fuck yeah. Look, my little meat man's cooked to perfection. Eat the wiener. I thought that was an earring.

God, that must hurt. That would hurt. There. Imagine someone... Put it around you. Imagine you're laying on a fucking tray and some giant just rams his fork and rips the unit off and eats it right in front of you.

That's what happened. But he's not alive. Not anymore. You fucking killed him in the oven. All right, so this is it, boys. I think we're done. Are we going to give this two thumbs up or one thumbs up? No, this is two thumbs up.

Two thumbs up to the cotton loaf. Thank you from Boston. D, you're a legend. That's it. You guys want to sign off on anything here? I just can't stop eating. I, you're a legend. That's it. You guys want to sign off on anything here? I just can't stop eating. I'm just eating, Mike. Boys can't stop eating.

All right. Take your shirt off. I'm not going to take my fucking shirt off. Flex down. No flex down. Let's see what I'm eating, though. Unbelievable. Fuck yeah.