Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 110 - Bang the Horse, Save the World

Episode Date: September 11, 2017

Ricky and Julian consider going back to jail for the winter, and Bubbles asks an ethically complicated question that involves banging a horse to save billions of lives. PLUS: The Boys share some drunk and stoned stories from their recent US tour! You can watch the Trailer Park Boys Podcast (and more) on SwearNet for FREE during September! Sign up for a free account at SwearNet.com and use the coupon code SEPTEMBERFREE. DECENT! 

Welcome to the Trailer Park Boys podcast, brought to you in parkboysswearingit.com, the only place where you can see the video version of this podcast. Nice one. And go to trailerparkboysmerch.com and check out some merch. Buy some stuff, please. They sponsor us, too. What about the beer and the liquor? I was just getting to that, Richard. Also, sponsored by Freedom 35, beer, drink the dream,

and Liquorman's old dirty Canadian whiskey. Drive her into your guts. sponsored by Freedom 35, beer, drink the dream, and Leckerman's old dirty Canadian whiskey. Driver into your guts. Okay, boys. Here's the official starting gun. Ready? Yep. On your marks. Get set.

It's a beautiful sound. We're doing this now? This is going down right now? Beer for breakfast. Well, what do you think that was all about? Oh, fuck. I don't know, man. Well, I'm with you, bubs.

I've got popcorn. I'm fucking stressed out. We've got to get this fucking... We've got to get shit figured out, man. Like, summer is done. Summer is basically done, and it fucking sucks. Why are you stressed out, Rick? Because that means winter's coming.

So I can't decide what I'm going to do. We've got to batten down the hatches. We've got to get your window fixed. Your window's got a big fucking hole in it and there's a big gap in your bedroom, I noticed, about that much. We gotta get that sealed up, eh, bud? I just don't know if there's gonna be time.

Like, maybe I should just say fuck it and go back to jail this year. Ricky. Just do something little. Get a few months. I've been kind of thinking the same thing, man. Boys. That's, you know... Fuck off, you're not going to jail for the winter. I bet it's of thinking the same thing, man. Boys, fuck off.

You're not going to jail for the winter. I bet it's going to be one of these shitty cold winters. I don't have the fucking... Lockers are sucked. Like, I need to get a heat pump or something. So get a fucking heat pump. That's a better idea than, oh, maybe I'll go to jail. $1,200.

$1,200 fucking bucks. Winter's a lot of responsibility. I don't like it. Like, why? It's not winter yet, boys. It's only September or whatever it is. I'm with him. But if I'm not going to jail, we gotta start getting fucking prepared now.

And that sucks. Well, what do we gotta... Boys, what did I say about the chewing? Yeah, that's Julian. That's so crunchy, man. That's Julian. Moonbear's gonna be losing it. All right.

This is the lost chip. Actually, you know what? I read a thing on the Twitter machine. Guy said, you know what? I enjoy the chewing. You tell Moon Bear to go fuck himself. Are you serious? There was a guy. There was one that said he enjoyed it.

What would you enjoy about it? Jesus Christ. I don't know. Wow. Burps. Beer burp. That was probably worse than the chewing, eh, bud? That was way worse, man.

It smelled bad. All right, well, over the next two weeks, I've got to make a fucking decision. So we'll see how it goes. I'll help you think about this. I've got to figure out heat. How do you help somebody think? I'm going to help him because I'm, like, weighing... You said, I'm going to help you think. I'm going help him because I'm like weighing... You said I'm gonna help you think.

I'm gonna help you think about the same thing, okay? Thanks, man. Look. I'm glad you care. Jared, jail is a little bit easier. How do you help him think? You massage his wiener? No, man. It's just good, you know.

Does that work? I don't know, Ricky. I've never done it. It does seem like when you're getting ready to bang or doing banging that you're smarter. What? Yeah. I think the weird is connecting to your brain. Do you have a source on that information, Ricky? Scientific data?

No. Medical journal? I could get some. That's good. Yeah. Well, it's been a while. You didn't even do an introduction yet. Oh, fuck.

You fucked that up. Sorry, I've been drunk, really drunk, since we got back from tour. Seven-night drunk. Had at least a 40-ouncer. That tour was pretty fucked. It was a fucked tour, but I'll get this going. Hey, what's up, fuckers? It's the official Trailer Park Boys podcast. It's coming at you right now.

What's the date? September 8th. September 8th. Podcast number... 110. 110? Yep. Holy fuck. So we should reflect. Let's reflect on the war we just had. Let's reflect. Okay. What's the blurry one? It started in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Yep. Yes it did. That was a good night. That was a fucking great night. That was a great night. I don't remember it exactly, but I think it was a good night. You were fucked.

I was fucked the night before. Yeah, we were all pretty fucked the night before. We were fucked a few nights before. And then where did we go? Anybody remember? Grand Rapids? Milwaukee. Milwaukee.

Milwaukee. Nice one. I got a picture with the bronze Fonz. Grabbing his wiener. I wasn't grabbing Fonz's wiener, but I got a... Fonz was a little dude, wasn't he? He was a small little guy. He wasn't very big. He was as cool as fuck. Didn't have to be big.

That's true. Yeah, when you're that cool, you don't need to be bigger than a couple feet. I mean, he wasn't that small, but... I like that fucking city. That was cool. That was a very cool city. Goddamn river running through it. Yeah.

Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt. A river runs through it. Was that about Milwaukee? Huh? Was that about Milwaukee? No, Ricky. It wasn't.

We had some good beer, remember, in Milwaukee. I don't even like beer, but there was some nice beer. Yeah, there's some good booze there. And I went to an Ethiopian restaurant. Had some Ethiopian food. Never had that before. Oh, yeah? You enjoyed it?

Damn fine cuisine. Nice. That was my first time ever doing that. Then where did we go? We went to the Petercock. The morning? They set us up. Did they?

Yeah. Yeah, they gave us some went to the Petercock. Des Moines? They set us up. Did they? Yeah. Yeah, they gave us some discounts at the Petercock. Des Moines. Des Moines, Iowa. That was a good time. That was a great time. Can't remember anything specific. I can't remember anything in Des Moines.

Good crowd. It was good, though. It was good. I remember. They were fucking nuts. Oh, that was the place. Was that the place with the, um... There was a Vietnamese restaurant called A Dong.

It was A Dong. Remember that? Yeah. There was a Vietnamese restaurant, and it was called A Dong. People say, you want to go for a dong tonight? And we did. You were there a few times. No, I...

Did you find a dong? No, I didn't even eat there, but it was right beside the venue. You can get the dong, but it's very expensive. Did you suck anything around a dong? Uh.

No. A popsicle or anything? No. Ice cream? No. And there was a gas station too, Ricky, that we laughed at. Oh, yeah.

Fuck, what was the name of that? The Common... The Common Chute or Common... Common Go or... Common Go. Common Go. The Common Go. That's what it was called.

The Common Go. Yeah, I think I went in and used the toilet in there, if I remember correctly. How'd that go for you? Uh-huh. Came and went. Came and went. What's the next place we went to?

Kansas City. Was it? No. No. St. Louis. I went and saw the fucking Big Arch. Holy fuck. That thing is unbelievable. I had no idea. You ran into some rednecks.

Yeah, I met some nice people there. Did you go up into the arch? I did. Did you come and go? Up there? No, I wasn't up there. I didn't even know you could go up in the fucking thing, but I went up. There's little windows up there, little slits. You look out.

Doesn't look like there's much holding that cocksucker up. It looks like the wind, the strong wind, could take it down. I thought there was, you know, guide wires holding her up, but there's not. There is, you just can't see them. They're made out of, like, spider wire. No, there isn't, Ricky.

There's nothing. Spider wire? It's just a big metal arch like that, and it's made out of panels. Right? I was right there there I'm right up touched it there's a little bar upstairs and that thing ah yeah there's like there's a brother served booze up in the arch I didn't have any booze up there

they have McDonald's no Ricky it's not that kind of a hurt I was kind of pissed off as we try to go that fucking Pappy's joint and the goddamn lineup was two hours long It was supposed to be the best barbecue around Yeah, oh yeah Then we went to Kansas City I think, and that was a good time, wasn't it? I can't picture it

We had to fucking leave after the show, which sort of sucked but it was probably good to take a break I can't picture it. What was it like? It was fantastic. Was that where the bat was, or was that St. Louis? Oh, yeah, there was a fucking bat. Bunch of bats. There's like fucking five bats.

Flying around right on the fucking stage, almost had a heart attack. I had a... Oh, was it Des Moines? Was that Des Moines? Could have been. I had a bat in my dressing room. You little fucker. I think it was Des Moines? Was that Des Moines? Could have been. I had a bat in my dressing room. You little fucker. I think it was Des Moines. I'm trying to remember Kansas City. I can't picture what anything looked like.

Oh, yeah, I remember now. I remember the door was down around the side. I went all walking around down in Kansas City. Oh, yeah, yeah, I remember Kansas City. There was a bar called The Drum Room, and they had a great big drum, like a drum, up there. That's a pretty good name, I guess. Pretty good name for it, yeah.

Yeah, but we had to leave, and then we went to fucking Red Rocks. Holy fuck. That place is fucking amazing, man. That was fucking nuts. That was a life changer for me. The place is like amazing, man. That was fucking nuts. That was a life changer for me. The place is like Disneyland for adults. I can't even believe we were there. What the fuck are we doing there?

We did a show, Ricky. I know, but wow. We had our names, we blasted our name up onto the rocks. It was decent. Maybe Jepro put on some pictures. Maybe, maybe he won't. Then we're fucked.

He will. Colorado fucking love that place with their delicious, every type of fucking weed and hash you can think of. Concentrates, edibles and drinks. There must be a lot of kids eating edibles and, you know, by mistake thinking they're gummy bears or whatever. Getting all fucked up. Does that happen a lot there, you think? Probably. Wish I was a kid doing kids eating edibles and, you know, by mistake, thinking they're gummy bears or whatever. Getting all fucked up. Does that happen a lot there, you think?

Probably. Wish I was a kid doing that. Me too. Listen to you guys just crunching away like a couple of fucking savages. I'm stressed out. I've got to fucking either move to jail or move my house or get my house fixed or fix my car. I don't have time for this shit. Well? What's happening? Yeah, I heard they got a new gym at the jail.

Some new equipment there. Oh, fuck. Is that why you got a big boner? Well, you know, it's free food, plus you get to, you know, get a free gym membership. New goalie pads, too, I heard. Oh, no way. See? There's a lot of good things about jail this year, I think. September 8th. Is that a good day? Let's a lot of good things about jail this year, I think. September 8th.

Is that a good day? Let's find out. Who? September 8th. Let's hear it. Michelangelo's statue of David is unveiled in Florence. Didn't you jerk that off or something? He tried to suck it off.

You did? You did. Jesus, I don't think you should be admitting that, Johan. You should think that you look like King Dave. Okay, these chips are going the fuck away. Are they really loud? Yes, they're loud as fuck! Mouth is closed, though.

It doesn't matter. You got a fucking microphone right under your chin and it's bone conduction. It's gonna fucking make you nuts. Look who's caring about the fucking world all of a sudden, eh? Well, it's driving me crazy. I'm not even... Okay, I won't eat any more chips. What about the popcorn?

1930, Richard Drew creates Scotch Tape. That's quite an invention. Richard Tape or Drew Tape. You know why? Because he was fucking drunk on Scotch when he came up with it. Why did they call it Scotch Tape? That's my guess. He was fucking wasted on Scotch.

Maybe he was from Scotland. Yeah. What was his name? It would be Scotch Tape? That's my guess. He was fucking wasted on Scotch. Maybe he was from Scotland. Yeah. What was his name? Maybe Scotch Tape. Richard Drew. Richard Drew. Richard fucking Drew. It's not really his Scottish name.

That was a terrible accent. Richard Drew. I am Richard Drew. I need some more of this. It's called Psycho. What? Psycho came out today. Psycho came out. Buffy the Hitchcock Psycho. What? Psycho came out today. Psycho came out.

That scared the fuck out of everybody, man. Gerald Ford pardoned Richard Nixon. Fuck off. Gerald Ford pardoned him, did he? Yep. Jesus. Oh, this is a big one for you, bubs. 1986, the Oprah Winfrey Show first broadcast nationally.

We're fucking glued to that show. Why is that a big deal for me? You used to watch the shit out of that show. You used to fucking watch the shit out of Oprah. Oh, you were fucking, how long have you, are you still part of the Oprah book club? You are, aren't you? It gets old magazine, I know that. Yeah.

I've taken delivery a few times. Yeah, okay. So, big deal, I'm part of Oprah's book club. Who gives a fuck? Did you ever feel yourself up to a show or two? Feel myself up? You know, I think you've got a mad crush on Oprah, man. Oh, I thought you meant it himself.

I think you've got a mad crush on men feeling themselves up the way you said that. No, I didn't. Like you were lurking in a white van. 1992 Howard Stern radio show begins broadcasting in Dallas. That's a good show. Why would he pick the same day as Oprah? Different year, I guess, but it's kind of weird. It's a big day for broadcasting.

It's a big fucking day. Big day for giraffes, too. A giraffe. Are you kidding me? 2016? Yeah. They just figured this out? Giraffe DNA study published in Current Biology reveals there are four species, not just one, of the giraffe.

There's four different kinds of fucking giraffe. Who would have known that? Scientists. I wonder if one of them is like a miniature giraffe. That'd be cool. You could have it as a pet. Same size as a cat or a dog. Just taller. Oh, I don't know. They don't exist like that, Ricky, but that would be decent. Imagine having a little giraffe this tall, fucking cruised around, cuddling in near his little neck.

Yeah, that would be really nice. That would be fantastic. But he wouldn't need a long neck. If he was that small, it would be useless. I wonder who got born today. I'm going to quickly skim through. No, Peter Sellers, he was that small, it'd be useless. I wonder who got born today. I'm gonna quickly skim through. No, Peter Sellers, he was funny as fuck. One of the funniest people that ever lived.

Yeah. The Pink Panther. My fuck, some of that physical shit he did was funny. Pink Panther, baby. David Arquette, he was born in 1971. The Goons, too, he was in The Goons. Yeah. Bernie Sanders. Bernie Sanders.

Bernie Sanders. Yeah. I like Bernie Sanders. Pink. Pink. Pink. Yeah. Jesus, the color pink.

Well, I think they meant the singer. The singer, man. Oh, I thought you meant the color was invented. It was, today in 1979. No, there was pink before that. Pinky T invented. It was today in 1979. No, there was pink before that. Pinky Cascadero was out before that. Wiz Khalifa? Yeah.

Born 89. Well, you know what? Overall, September 8th's not a fucking amazing day, is it? No, it's not. Not great at all, man. So we gotta make it amazing. All right. How do we do that? I declare it... National Julian Day.

What does that mean? Everybody goes out and fucking works out and gets wasted and feels each other up. No. It was going good until that part. Everybody goes out, drinks a glass of swish, gets their shirts off,

pumps some iron and then pumps each other. You want to be part of that day, do you? No. You just fucking announced that today is the day. I'm going to have a nap for the rest of the day. All right, here's a fucked up story. Okay, Ricky, remember we had to tie you up the day of the fucking eclipse because you wanted to fucking stare at it. You were like, people for fucking

hundreds of years and thousands or whatever have been staring at it and they didn't go blind? Did anybody go blind? Well, check this out. There's a fucking guy who's not as smart as you out there. His name is Joey Badass. And he was tweeting saying,

you know, this ain't the first solar eclipse, and I'm pretty sure our ancestors ain't have no fancy eyewear. Also, pretty sure they ain't go all blind. So this guy fucking said, fuck it. I'm staring at it. He stared at the fucking thing. Next day, all of his concerts are canceled.

He had to cancel all of his fucking upcoming dates. And now... Because he can't see. He has to wear sunglasses during the day for the rest of his life. What a fuck-up. Because he melted his eyes. He is fucking pretty fucked up. So he got blind.

Look, he's got his sunglasses on. Who is he? Joey Badass. Joey Badass. What kind of concert does he put on? Joey Dumbass. So now, yeah, what happened? He said, oh, I've stared up at the sun before,

and all of that happened. I, you know, was seeing these different colors for a day, but the next day it was cool. Yeah, it wasn't a fucking eclipse, dummy. So Joey Badass is kind of like not so badass after all. Joey Dumbass, they call him. Dumbass, yeah. Yeah.

So it really does get you blind. Well, yeah, Ricky, because there's a science behind it. What is it? There's a reason the scientists say don't stare at the fucking eclipse. Because you think you're all right because, you know, once the thing's over there, but you're still getting the fucking damaging rays, and then if it's half an eclipse, people are like, Oh, fuck, I can just stare at it,

and it melts your goddamn retinas out. Yeah, you fucking burnt that. And somebody said that you don't really feel it happen, so you don't really... Correct. You think nothing's wrong. Correct. I still think I can do it.

No, you can't do it. Ricky, you can't do it. You're never going to do it. My eyes have looked at some fucking shit that you guys would not look at. Ricky, it's like, you know when I'm using my arc welder and you try to stare at it? Yeah, it hurts, but it didn't get got blind. No, but it's a hundred times worse than an arc welder.

Wow. A thousand times worse, maybe. Okay. Holy fuck, I hope we're still here. What? Like, next week. Why, what's up? Well, I hope fucking crazy little cocksucker there doesn't blow the world up.

Which one? A little fella, you know. Yeah, which one, though? Little Korean guy. Oh, that guy. Yeah. There's a couple little crazy fellas right now. Yes, there is.

Science, what's this now? You joining science-ology? No. What's going on there? Oh, it is interesting. Oh, you like it, do you? No, I don't. Here, I thought there was something.

No, there's nothing there. I thought it was a story. Remember, we were going to go down, last time we were down south and try to sign up, go into Scientology and check it out. Yeah, we were going to send Ricky in. Get all baked up and fucked out of our minds. There's got to be something good to it.

Why? Because there's some big people that are in it, and they did really well. That just means they're fucked in the head, Ricky. It could, I guess. Scientology, Ricky, is bullshit. Is it? Yes.

Fuck the Scientologists. Now, Bubz, you're probably offending some people. Well, I don't care. I got some liquor in me. I'm allowed to shoot my mouth off when I'm drinking. I don't give a flying fuck, all right? Don't piss off the Scientologists. They might sack their aliens on us. That's one handsome looking horse right there, huh? Yeah. I don't give a flying fuck, all right?

Don't piss off the Scientologists. I don't give a flying fuck, all right? Don't piss off the Scientologists. They might sack their aliens on us. That's one handsome looking horse right there, huh? Yeah. I don't give a flying fuck, all right? Don't piss off the Scientologists.

Wow. They might sack their aliens on us. That's one handsome looking horse right there, huh? I've never... That's a weird thing to say. Well, no, that's what they say. Never described a horse as handsome before. It's the most handsome stallion of all the land.

Stallion? Stallion. Look at that. That motherfucker's getting banged nonstop. Probably by some chicks, too. Do you wish you were that stallion? Bet you there's some chicks out there that are right into that shit. Banging stallions.

Like, women or chick horses? What? You mean women or chick horses? Women, man. There's some fucking freaky women out there. I'm telling you. Okay, so this just went to a weird place. Went to a weird place.

Just randomly out of the blue. Go handsome, this fucking horse is. As soon as I taunt him about Scientology, all of a sudden he finds horses handsome. Fantasizing about women banging them. I was reading through this shit, man, and that came up. What did? Handsome horses? The fucking Frederick the Handsome Stallion.

So you were, what, searching handsome men? No, man, it's just all kinds of shit on this fucking site. And where did the whole, I bet you women would like to bang them come from? Because I've heard of women getting it on with horses before, man. And dogs. Jesus. And dudes getting into it. You know, there's some fucked up people out there, man.

All right. Today's podcast has been brought to you by Julian's Mental Health. He's right into horses. That's not how he's into horses. And his desire for horse cock. I'm not saying I want to fucking bang a horse. I'm just saying there's some weird people out there. If you had to do one or the other, would you bang a horse or get banged by? There's some weird people out there. If you had to do one or the other,

would you bang a horse or get banged by one? Not answering that question because that's ridiculous. If you had to do it or the whole world explodes. No, I don't. I would go down.

If you don't pick one, the world and everybody dies and then they burn out. Come on, it's only recounting. Oh, you would let the whole world. I'm not spending my last days sucking off and or banging a horse.

You would let the whole world die before you did something. Well, that's mean. Well, that's mean. If you had to do one, you got to pick one. Yeah, okay, so you saved the world. For all of humanity. All of a sudden, you're on Oprah talking about how you sucked off a horse to save the world.

I didn't say anything about sucking one off. Or banging a horse. Whatever you fucking said there. You either got gotta bang one or get banged by one. There's no way that would happen. I would go down

with the ship, bud. You would let the whole world die in an inferno. God, I would not be the dude known for saving the world for fucking a horse. Wow.

What a selfish prick. Yeah. Hey, what the fuck? Oh, fuck yourself. That's not selfish, man. You're letting seven billion people die in fire. There's no way that would ever happen. I'm not, no, but if it did.

I'm not, it's a stupid thing to fucking answer. If it did, Julian. No. Would you? Yes! I would have to if it's going to save 7 billion people from dying in Inferno. Do you think you'd like it? No, I wouldn't like it, but I'd go on Oprah and say, yeah, I'm the guy that banged a horse, and I saved 7 billion people.

I'd be a fucking hero. I didn't want to do it, but I fucking had to save the world. I'd bang shit out of them. Hopefully, if it ever comes down, they're like, hey, you three over there, I need one of you guys to suck off this horse. See, it's 7 billion people. I'd be like, hey, this is the guy right here. We're back to sucking it off now. Fucking throw him on Maury.

Why do you keep going to sucking it off? Or banging him, whatever. Well, they're two very different things. Oh, you get banged by Frederick, you're not going to live through it. Again, I didn't say I would get banged by Frederick. Okay, what did you say? He's gonna bang Frederick. I gave you the choice to get banged by Frederick or bang

Frederick to save seven billion people from an inferno. Okay, I'm glad you're there for us. So you would let everyone die? I'm glad you're there for the entire world. You would let the whole world die. I would let you do it. I would let you bang them. Because of your fucking ego. That's why.

Hey, I'm too cool to fuck a horse. I'm too cool to fuck a horse, everybody. Everybody can just melt. Because I'm Julian. Cool guy. I'd fuck the shit out of Fernando. Whatever his name is. Frederick.

Frederick. I'm going to get a hold of these people. his name is. Frederick. Frederick. All right. To save humanity. I'm going to get a hold of these people. Maybe you want to go meet them. No, I don't want to do it, but I would do it to save humanity. You know what I mean? And I would become a superhero. What was the horse fucker? Horse fucker.

I'd get called horse fucker for the rest of my life, but you know what? There'd be a few people who'd be like, horse fucker, I just want to thank you for saving my family. Thank you, horse fucker. I'm glad there's people like you out there. HF2 I'd call myself. I'd get a cape and I would live happily ever after up in a castle. With lots of fucking horses out in the stable. Just waiting to get fucking banged by the almighty bubbles.

Word would probably get around. Yeah, man. In the horse community. Once you got a taste of that horse, you'd be right back on it. You guys are fucked. Saving the world. Julian, I'm too cool to fuck horses.

I am too cool to be fucking horses. I'd fuck a horse to save the world. Julian, I'm too cool to fuck horses. I am too cool to be fucking horses. I'd fuck a horse to save the world. Right, Ricky? Yeah. I don't know if I'd let him bang me. That would hurt. A lot. No, you'd have to. You'd have to take one. You know the term, take one for the team? That's the fucking ultimate take one for the team right there. There's videos of people out there getting fucked by horses and it didn't go that well.

Didn't they have one guy die? The horse cock blasted right through his body. I don't know. Internal organs fucking just destroyed. Well, okay. So you get fucked to death by a horse, but you still save seven billion people. Little kids,

old people. I saved them all by letting a horse cock drill up through my fucking chest. Alright. I saved them all by letting a horse cock drill up through my fucking chest. All right. I'm glad there is people like you. I'd be a murder, a horse cock murder. There'd be a statue of it? There'd be a statue of me.

All ripped in half. A big horse cock. Horse cock coming out of your mouth. Well, I... I fucking... I stick to my guns. I would have to do it to save humanity.

I think it's noble. All right. Fuck you guys. I'm glad, man. I'm happy. You guys seen Corey or Jacob today? No.

I thought I saw Corey. I'm a little worried because I saw a story on the news that sounds something like them. What? These two fucking idiots broke into a bar. I think it was in Baltimore.

Well, it didn't break in, sorry. They went in with guns, armed, to rob the bar. And inside the bar, the town's police force were holding a retirement party. No, Dave. What a bunch of fucking dummies. Jesus, that's a bad, bad time, eh? Imagine the fucking look on their face. You remember the time, Ricky?

We were out somewhere in another city. Remember, you got us, we smoked something. We were right out of it walking through the hotel. Remember? And we were all fucked up and they pushed us through the wrong door, and we went in, and it was the policeman's ball. That was fucked. It was the policeman's ball. All the policemen in uniform.

Yeah, that was a bad one. 600 of them, and we were baked out of our minds. I thought we were hallucinating. No. No, we weren't. I'd scared the fuck out of you. The clear went bad. So what happened to these two dickweeds?

Oh, they got taken down fucking hard. They're lucky they weren't killed. Yeah, bossed in on a police party. All of them getting drunk, celebrating. Some guy tries to rob them. I think maybe they could have scoped it out first or something. Not good. Yeah.

Yeah. Did they have their cop horses parked out back? Wonder? They very well could have. Back to the horses. Who's over there saying, mmm? You're the one talking about horses again. Can't get away from them.

Here, I'll get the chipper to print out a picture of Frederick for you, bud. Yeah, okay. Toss her up later if you want. So what's the plan for the rest of the day? I need to get fucked up bad so I can figure out... You know what, Ricky? ...what I'm going to jail for staying. I'll get fucked up with you today.

Boom! I'll get fucked up with you as well. Boom! No, it's just me and Ricky hanging out. No, I've been drunk since we got back, and I plan on getting drunk tonight. The two guys that would save... We're having a save the world party, and you're not invited. You can go fucking, you know, be cool by yourself.

Because you won't save humanity. All right, Rick, we'll talk about the whole jail thing in winter some other time, I guess. Even though I feel like talking about it right now. You should go to that new gym today. It's called Dudes. What the fuck are you talking about? We're going to start an I'd Save the World Club, and you're not in it. Okay, go fuck your horses and have fun with yourselves, okay?

I'm not saying we're going to fuck... Oh, you're gonna go jack the horses on... I don't know if it's a gym or a car place, but Dude's Muscle Shop. Now, there's no gym in town called Dude's Muscle Shop. No, because he's got his finger on the pulse of the gym community. I've never heard of having your hands wrapped around a horse cock. Try to drill the thing into your body.

No, that's only to save humanity, buddy. It's got a nice undercarriage. Jesus Murphy. What's that hanging down there, Ricky? I think it's a muffler. What's this hanging? Look, it's hanging right down. Bubs.

What? Is that normal? That's normal. You just gotta, you gotta get down there and check it out sometime. Yeah, you need a little more time with some of these parts. Yeah, turn the lights on. You know, check it out. That is quite a hanger. Hey boys, let's sign off here before the show's over.

Alright, let's get drunk. Done. Join us next week when... Boys, do you think next week we can do something a little more interesting? Yes, please. This posh cash, whatever the fuck it is, is starting to be lame. Well, that's because you guys don't put anything into it. All right, I'm going to try.

I'm going to try as well. I promise. I'm going to make these good again. Maybe. Make the podcast great again. That's going to be our new slogan. Let's do it. Let. Make the podcast great again. That's going to be our new slogan. Let's do it. Let's make the podcast great again.

If not, I'm going to smash the bones in my hand. Mopega. Mopega. Make the podcast great again. Mopega. Excuse me. Let's go. Done.