Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 112 - Happy Borntday Scott Baio

Episode Date: September 25, 2017

Julian admits that he used to dress like Scott Baio after learning of Chachi’s many romantic exploits. Bubbles is dealing with a dirty ol’ hangover, and Ricky develops a plan to put a stop to all of these hurricanes! PLUS: Who holds the world record for longest nipples? You can watch the Trailer Park Boys Podcast (and more) on SwearNet for FREE during September! Sign up for a free account at SwearNet.com and use the coupon code SEPTEMBERFREE. DECENT!

Welcome to the Trailer Park Boys podcast, brought to you in parkboysswearingit.com, the only place where you can see the video version of this podcast. Nice one. And go to trailerparkboysmerch.com and check out some merch. Buy some stuff, please. They sponsor us, too. What about the beer and the liquor? I was just getting to that, Richard. Also, sponsored by Freedom 35, beer, drink the dream,

and Liquorman's old dirty Canadian whiskey. Drive her into your guts. Fuck's sakes, who typed this in? What the hell are you looking at, Bucks? I didn't type it in. Somebody typed in giant cocks on my Google. Get that off there. What is that one on a cutting board? What the fuck, Bucks?

I don't know. I'm typing it. It's fast. Not really that long. There. I typed in kitties. Now we can look at kitties. All good.

Type in big kitty cocks. I'm not typing that in, Ricky. I don't want to know anything about big kitty cocks. They're weird. They look like a little alien or something. Don't blow it on me, man.

You got a snappy new haircut. I did that myself. Looks good, man. You wouldn't believe it, boys. I did that with lawn shears. You look like a pretty good job. Six months younger. Look at it. Close, boys. I did that with lawn shears. You did a pretty good job. Six months younger. Look at it.

Close, Ricky. I did that with lawn shears. Fuck off. It's perfect. Perfect. That's pretty nice, man. I'm going to try that. Okay.

What the fuck is that? Where? This globby looking shit. What is that? I don't know. It's your fucking seat. Yeah, but it's not my seat. Oh, it's a dab.

A dab? It's a piece of dab shit. Let's do it. Here. Ricky, don't just start smoking unidentified globs off the table, please. You sure it's not a piece of glass? It could be out of somebody's nose. Could be.

I'll try it. All right, let's do this. Get your... You guys going to get any snacks in here before... We don't want Sun Cat freaking out. Apparently Sun Cat fucking, uh, sending in some snacks, I hear. Who? The guy that's always pissed off about the crunchy.

Moon Bear. What'd you call him? Sun Cat. Sun Cat. Not Sun Bear. Moonbear. What you call him? Suncat. Suncat. Not Sunbear. Moonbear, Ricky. You asked Moonbear, sent some soft meats apparently. Well, maybe we'll have those for the next one, because these snacks are fucking lame. We've been asking for new snacks for a while now. Everything is lame. What, canned meat?

Don't know, I just heard. Come in. Heard through the grapevine there's some soft meats on the way. All right, let's get this going. All right, you fuckers, this is the official Trailer Park Boys podcast. It's coming at you right now. This is episode 112. Oh, yeah?

What day is it? Friday. It's Friday. September 2... 2! Right on. Nice job, Ricky. Good going, bud.

Okay, boys, we got very important things to talk about today. What are they? Let's get going. I don't know. You tell me. We're not going to start it this way, are we? How are you feeling today? You were up pretty late last night.

I am fucking still cranked right up. You out-partied me, which never fucking happens. I'm still hammered, boys. You were drinking until 5 a.m. You were up until 5? Yes.

5 a.m. I shut it down at 3.30. Now I'm back up and back on the liquor. That's probably a good thing to do, man, because you were really fucking good

a half hour ago. First drink doesn't taste very good in the morning after a late night. I disagree. It's the best drink of the day, man. Why don't you get a bit of half of it in you? Look at that kitty. He's decent.

Look at him. I'd like to own him. So, Buffs, you're just going to sit there looking at cats during this podcast. People don't see the cats. I'm just browsing. Do you want to see a fucking cat? Check out this fucker. Who?

Cygnus Regulus Powers. This cat. CRP, I know all about him. Guinness Book of Records. Look at this fucking tail. Look at the tail on CRP. That's a fucking tail. That's fucking photocopied. No, it isn't. That's a fucking tail. That's fucking photococked. No, it isn't, Ricky. That's his real tail.

He's gorgeous. He's gorgeous. They must have had a fucking piece added on. You can't get a cat with a tail like that. CRP, that's him. Crossed it with a fox or something, maybe. And, I mean, it's in Michigan. A squirrel.

We've been there. We should be trying to find this cat. Do squirrels and cats fuck? No, Ricky. Well, there's We should be trying to find this cat. Do squirrels and cats fuck? No, Ricky. Well, there's got to be a reason for that tale. You think he banged a squirrel? Or a fox. Kitties don't bang foxes or squirrels. You know what?

I guarantee you there's going to be a time when animals just start fucking each other. A cat and a beaver are about the same size. Ricky. Everybody likes a good beaver. What is wrong? I could have a nap, eh? Well, you're not going to have a nap because you're... I'm freshy-baky.

So am I. And I cannot lead the fight here, man. Can't do it. You've got to take control. You guys are super baked. Just take... You've got to grab the horse by the nuts and, man. Can't do it. You gotta take control. You guys are super big. You gotta grab the horse by the nuts and start giddy-upping. Holy fuck, boys, this is fucking disgusting. What is it?

Check out this fucking chick. World record holder. 12.4 centimeter fucking eyelashes. What's a tuna face? That's her eyelashes. Oh, Jesus, get that away from me. Why don't you just trim the fucking things? Trim it, because she's not fucking eyelashes. That's a tuna face. That's her eyelashes. Oh, Jesus. Get that away from me. Why don't you just trim the fucking things? Trim it, because she's not bad looking.

Those eyelashes. She's not bad looking. Well, if you trim the eyelashes, come on. But that would be no good. Imagine, you know, she's going down to do some business on you, and you've just got two little ticklers, and it's like you couldn't really get into it. You'd just get tickled by these fucking eyelashes. Wrapped around ticklers and it's like you couldn't really get into it.

You just get tickled by these fucking eyelashes. She's all wrapped around, nodded, she'd be bawling on it. Her fucking eyelids would be coming out to your ear. Holy fuck, that's disgusting. Why does she have those? World record, man. But how do you grow them? I don't understand.

Do not have a clue. Most people don't fucking trim their eyelashes. I've never trimmed mine, and they're the same length. She's got something, some kind of a problem with her. Maybe it's supposed to be nose hair, and they landed up there. Because nose hairs, they'll grow. Not that long, Ricky. Well, I guarantee you there's a world record for those as well.

Let's fuck it up. World record nose hairs, please. Let's do it. All right. I've got to see it. Okay. And don't accidentally. Let's do it. All right. I've got to see it. Okay. And don't accidentally... What a weird mustache that would be if you just shaved all this and you just had these little hair tubes.

Okay. World. Look like... Grow your nose hair right long and then pin it down here like this. Nose hair, okay. Don't accidentally type in penis. Oh, fuck. World record.

Pubic hair. My face will come out. Longest pubic hair. 3.46 inches, I think that's the record. For nose hair? Oh, fuck, I've had them longer than that. Ricky, that's that long. No, I haven't had them that long.

I've had two inches. They're fucking deep, too, though. They're attached. I can't find a picture. You pull them, you're like, it fucking hurts up here. You're like, Jesus. And you pull out a two-incher. Jesus, Ricky.

You go to images or something? What the fuck? Okay, maybe today's going to be the... Long as the ass hair. Maybe today's... I bet Randy would win that. His ass is disgusting. Today's going to be the Guinness Book of World Records show.

Oh, yeah? Yeah. Let's start typing. Okay. It's not easy, man. I'm still trying to find? Yeah. All right. Let's start typing. Okay. It's not easy, man. I'm still trying to find the long... All right, you got his full nose hair, so with this tweezer. Guinness World Record.

I don't want to see that. You were playing some good music last night, man. Longest ass hair. Search. Randy, guaranteed. If there isn't one, Randy should fucking... That's there. Search. Randy, guaranteed. If there isn't one, Randy should fucking... Bot World Records.

Hang on. I'm going to find it right here, boys. I bet they don't have it, but they're too afraid. Juan Carlos cracked ten hazelnuts with his butt cheeks in ten seconds. That's pretty interesting. That's a good birdie trick. Dustin Barker kicked himself in the ass for three hours and five minutes. Okay.

I don't know about... No, it's not there. Randy could win it. These are all ass awards. I think we should nominate him for it. Can we do that? Can you nominate other people? Oh, man, they've got all kinds of fucking...

Longest nipple hair, 17 centimeters. Jesus. That's not long. Longest what hair? Nipple hair? Nipple hair, man. Jesus. Lookit, this is the dude with the longest fucking nose hair.

8.8 centimeters. Shut your fucking nose. No shit. Look at the size of his fucking nose. Look at the fucking nose, man. Let me see that fucking thing. That's amazing. Holy fuck.

He's got a honker on him. He's got some long nose hair. That's not real. That is real, man. He's got a serious honker. Holy fuck. You just want to go out and squeeze that. He's from Italy, man. I like that guy a lot. Mehmet. Hey, Mehmet, with your long nose here, eh? I like Mehmet. I wish we could get him on. He's fucking getting banged like crazy. Boys, we should have guests on with the biggest parts in the world. Like, biggest nose guy. Hey, today we got biggest nose guy. Overall, we got biggest testicles fella.

Hold on. I'd fucking take a run at that. Ricky, you don't have the biggest nuts in the world, I hate to tell you. No. Alright, there's all kinds of shit here. Holy fuck. I know, but nobody can see you. I know, man.

I know, I know. Some of them are just fucked. So more, more, more. Fuck! God damn it. Moondog. Well, they fucking better get us snacky quiets here. Moonbear.

We're not allowed to eat anything. We can only eat what Moonbear sends us. Well, get new snacks, they're fucking soft. Why do we have the same shitty snacks week after week? Mix those things. You're just gonna disregard Moon Bear's comfort. I'm gonna try my best not to make any noise, okay? You're gonna disregard Moon Bear's comfort. Take that.

You guys ever heard of a fatberg? That was a what? A fatberg. A fatberg? That was a what? A fatberg. A fatberg? Yeah. Is that like an iceberg made of fat? Pretty much.

There's one over in fucking England. What? East London. A fatberg. It's got the fucking whole sewer clogged. It's like 250 meters long, 130 tons, oil, fat, nappies, and wet wipes. It's like fucking concrete. They can't get rid of it.

They said it's going to take weeks. Where is that? Jeez. East London. East London. So it's made of what oil? Oil, fat, nappies. That's diapers.

Oh, shit. And wet wipes. Oh, Jesus. How the fuck are they getting in the goddamn sea? A big log of shitty diapers. So people are just flushing fucking diapers and wet wipes? Why? That's awful. It's called a what? A fatberg. Yeah, a fatberg.

Jesus. Some museum wants a fucking slice of it. Show how fucked people are living these days. Jesus, Murphy. Well, there's that big log of fucking plastic out in the ocean. That's like the size of Texas floating around. Yeah, that's kind of fucked. You know what there isn't in this Guinness Book of World Records thing?

Why? The longest female nipple. Trying to find it, you think that someone would like say, hey, check this out? What are you guessing it's going to be? Erect or soft? I don't know, man. You'd have to have both,

I guess. Both. It's not, there's not. What's your gas? How long? I've seen a couple, two inches, no problem. Two, two and a half inches?

Yeah. I'd say I'd be impressed with it. No, if it's going to be Guinness World Records, it's going to be 12 inches. I'd be really impressed with like 12 inches. I was gonna say 4 or 5 inches man that would be impressive but 12 that would be weird. Like a piece of licorice hanging off the poor lady. No it could be a fella. I'd be really weird. You'd wish it would be a fellow. You could use him for banging.

Big nipples. Bai Ling has the longest nipples in the world. Just wait now. Let's see how big these fuckers are. Is it a guy or a girl? We don't know yet. B-A-I. It's a lady, I think, or a lady boy.

I don't know yet. Bai Ling has... Where are they? It's going to be four inches. Bai Ling's nipple under the... Come on, you've got to find this man. Well, it doesn't say. It says she's got the longest ones, and then it doesn't say how long we're talking.

How long are Bai by length nipples. You can do some damage. You can get whipped by them. Alright, this is fucking exciting, Gus. Just a second. Let's just sit here and look at long nipples. That's the longest nipple in the world. Nipple. So only one of them's really long.

That puts a real twist on it. Fuck, the same thing you got, man. Fuck's sakes. I guess you could just kind of put your, like a handle, cover it up. A handle? She's on YouTube. Maybe we'll get to see these nipples and we'll guess. With the nipple.

We could do some triangulation. Figure out the, you know. Okay. Bylane part two. The song is called Naked. I don't want to hear a thing. Holy fuck. I don't.

Can I just go to sleep until you guys are done? All right, okay. We can't find the nipple. You guys talk amongst yourselves. Well, I'm searching, so why don't you talk and I'll search. You guys giving any more thought to the wind? Because we're getting fucking shit tons of it this year. Yeah, what the fuck is going on with that, man?

We're the theme of the Hurricock suckers. Fucking Jesus. It's crazy. I know, Ricky. They got to fucking build a wall or something. It's fucking climate change, bud. Hurricane wall. Right in the middle of the fucking ocean, wherever they get born.

Jesus, look at those things. Look at those, Junior. What are they? Oh, my Jesus. What the fuck is that? Is that a guy? I think so. Okay.

Holy shit, man. That wasn't real was it? Yes it was He looked pretty weird in a t-shirt He looked like Rick James with four inch nipples Okay yes Ricky climate change Wind

It's wind Wall Can wind go through a wall? Yes Fuck A thick wall? Yes. Fuck. A thick wall? No.

You built a fucking wall right up. Would the hurricane just hit it and stop? You'd have to go pretty high, I guess. You couldn't build a wall to block out a hurricane, Ricky. I guess if it was high enough you could, but... They should do something. I think I'm going to cover up the water with fucking foam. Why don't we just put a dome over the entire state, man? Some people think that already exists.

They're called fucked in the head people. I think if they could build a great big fucking styrofoam floating island that they can tow around and put it wherever they need to so it blocks the waters. That's where it gets its shit from, isn't it? When it gets over the open water, that's where it picks up steam. Styrofoam. Fill the whole fucking ocean with it. Yeah, that'd be great for the marine life. Rickman.

Where do you get all the styrofoam? Home Depot. There's enough of them around. Just put them all together, big panels, glue. And what will that do? It'll keep the tsunamis? A couple of stainless steel hooks for tone. See, I think Ricky should be appointed as the head of the Environmental Protection Agency, the EPA. Well, at least I fucking know that there is warming of whatever the fuck they call it.

Yes. It's bad. Water's coming up. It is bad. Wind's getting bad. My bucket pissed off. Nothing's being done about it. I wish Ricky was the head of some organization.

I'd kick some fucking ass. I'd say, just fucking keep doing shit until you figure it out. Build walls, fucking fire missiles into it. You can't. There's got to be a way to kill a fucking hurricane. It's Mother Nature, man. You can't fuck with her. Put an asteroid through it.

Yeah, see, that's a real smart idea. Heat the fucker up. Shoot an asteroid into a hurricane. Boys, I'm going out. I'm fucking... Okay, take a little nap. All right, come on. Wake up.

Let's get into some... What was some of that music you were playing last night, man? It was good. It was good to hear some new shit instead of old, same songs. That was some of my new stuff, Ricky Bubbles and the Shit Rockers.

Oh, yeah? That was pretty good. Tunes, yeah. I like that song, that glorious sun song. That was kind of cool. Oh? The glorious suns. That was kind of cool. Oh? The glorious suns.

Who's that? Aren't they a band? I don't know. Oh. Some kind of suns? Why don't you start a band, Ricky? I don't know if I could. I could write the songs, but I don't think I could play them or sing them.

I think you could. I've heard you sing. Well, but I don't think I could play them or sing them. I think you could. I've heard you sing. Well, maybe I'll... School's making fuck off. I'll come and do a fucking song with your shit rod. Teachers can suck my cock. When you're performing. I'll sing that song.

Will you? Yep. All right. I'll start practicing. Boys, you know what I need? A grilled cheese sandwich. Holy fuck. That would be amazing right what I need? A grilled cheese sandwich. Holy fuck. That would be amazing right now.

Big dirty grilled cheese sandwich. Big fucking hunks of bacon onto it. That'd be good. You gonna whip some of those up? I'll buy, you cook. Holy fuck. Big day for TV today, guys. What the fuck are you talking about?

Charlie's Angel. Charlie's Angels. It debuted today, back. What the fuck are you talking about? Charlie's Angel. Charlie's Angels. It debuted today back in 76. On September 22nd? September 20... Yes. Wow. That's fucking...

Family Ties. Michael J. Fox. 82. I like Family Ties. I do too. Baywatch. Baywatch. Never liked Baywatch.

I started selling... I started selling dope because of Alex P. Keaton. The West Wing. Trying to make money and become a businessman. You did? Yeah. He was my fucking inspiration. Yeah.

Yeah. And lost. Okay, so big day for TV. I guess everything comes on in September. It's not a big fucking surprise. Well, John releases Candle in the Wind. It seems to me you lived your life like a candle in the wind. Never knowing who to cling to when the rain set in.

Oh, that was the one about, yeah, for Lady Diana. It was a tribute to Lady Di. Yep. Anybody cool born today to Lady Di. Yep. Anybody cool born today? Yeah. John fucking Jett. Look at the first one, Ricky. Look who was born in 1290. Who the fuck is that?

Bilbo Baggins? Bilbo Baggins was born today. Okay, that's exciting. Bilbo Baggins was born. Holy fuck, Julian, one of your idols growing up. Scott fucking Bale. He was one of your idols growing up Scott fucking Bayo he was one of my

idols you used to tie a fucking handkerchief around your leg no I didn't fucking do that man you used to have no I didn't

you did boys Chachi Arcola no I thought you were so fucking cool you were kind of cool actually

I was jealous you used to wear a jean jacket and tie that bandana around your thigh fuck you do you want to talk about some of your looks over the fucking decades I don't want to embarrass You used to wear a jean jacket and tie that bandana around your thigh. Fuck you. Do you want to talk about some of your looks over the fucking decades?

I don't. I'm not embarrassed by my look. Flock of seagulls. That fucking period of your life. Yeah, I had the flock of seagulls there. It was hilarious. I had a mohawk. Ricky had a mohawk.

Remember that? Mohawk, yeah. That was a pretty fucked couple years. Remember the first time you tried to do it, you fucked up and you just shaved a strip down the center? Yeah, that's sad. You had a reverse mohawk because you got confused. I totally fucked that up.

You look fucked. I thought I just kind of caved everything in. No, the worst one was Randy. Shaved his head. Used some marker. Scott Bale. Yeah, remember him. Yeah.

Chachi. Chachi. You thought he was quite the piece of meat. He was trying to be like the Fonz, man. He was getting banged, though. Who was? Chachi. Chachi wasn't getting banged.

I thought Joanie was teeing off on him. He was banging Joanie, man. Like for realsies. Oh yeah? In real life. No he wasn't. They were banging. Chargy was not.

When they were shooting that show, they were banging. Scott Bale was not banging Aaron Moran. Yeah? Search it. Google it. You Google it. Holy fuck. Did Scott Bale tee off on Aaron Moran? Did Scott Baio... Remember you used to think Scott Baio and the other little fellow were the same person.

I still think they are. Karate Kid. What was his name? Ralph Macho. Ralph Macho. What was her name? Aaron Moran. I know all the stars' names, boys. Ralph Mouth, who was he?

No idea. Donnie Most. Yeah. Who played Luke Duke? Tom Wopat. Jesus, okay. You're good at this. You name one, I'll tell you who it is.

Who played... I don't know. What was the name of the dog on The Littlest Hobo? Yeah, give me a fucking break. His real name? London. His real name was London. But he went by Littlest. You, I saw an episode that never aired.

Somebody had an outtake episode and I saw it. It was fucking terrible. Littlest got fucking creamed by a car at an intersection. He was all mangled. Oh, man, no wonder they didn't put that on. It kind of fucking ruins the show. It was terrible. Littlest died a slow, painful death.

What? Littlest was not dead. No death. What? He's not dead. No, but it was an outtake episode that never aired. After all the fucking people he saves, and some fucking asshole hits him with a car. Yeah. You remember the episode where they fucking, they strapped some medicine to him

and threw him out of a plane? That happened. Littlest did that. They strapped medicine to him to get it to a remote part and they put a parachute on him and fired him out of a fucking airplane. Boys. Why? Wow.

Scott confessed that he was informally banned from the Playboy Mansion once because he managed to bag a year's worth of Playmates. That guy had some game. In one night? Yes. Twelve ladies. And he was great at giving oral to the women. He was a player, man. I told you. That doesn't prove that he banged Aaron Moran. Okay, just a sec. Hey Julian, you weren't dealing with any firefighters last night, were you? What? Did you have to talk to the firefighters about anything last night?

What firefighters? Uh, just... Well, apparently some firefighters had to cut through a dumbbell weight to free a male organ. What the fuck are you talking about? That wasn't me. What? Are you kidding me? He tried to bang one of his fucking plates. Yeah, they had to cut it apart. Oh, my God. He got his wiener stuck in a plate? Yeah, once that thing gets hurt, there's no fucking getting it off.

No. Not without some serious damage. Jesus, that would be terrible. But how do they cut, like, eventually they're gonna be cut into your wiener. They gotta cut to the hole, right? Yeah. They gotta cut like this. I'd say they cut right to the edge of the wiener. They gotta cut to the hole, right? Yeah. They gotta cut like this.

I'd say they cut right to the edge of the wiener, not quite through the metal. Then they maybe tap it with a hammer or something. Oh, you're still gonna get massive wiener damage. It must be one of the little dumbbell holes, though. It can't be one of those big fucks. You know, the big ones. How big's the plate? He's got stock on there. Well, it's all cut up, so it's hard to tell.

Jesus, Murphy. And check this out, guys. It's reported that Scott lost his virginity to Erin Moran. There we go. In real life? She said it made things awkward, because it happened before they made Joanie Loves Chachi. So it happened on happy days.

Yep. How old were they? I don't fucking know, man. Was Fonzie in there? Was Fonzie part of it? Fonzie, no, it has nothing near about Fonzie. Well, I know what I'm getting you for Christmas, Julian. What?

Calvin Klein Klein sweater. I'm going to have to steal some money. It's this new sweater Calvin Klein offers. It's sleeves only. I've seen a picture of this thing. Yeah, look at that sweater. Boys, what a fucked up idea that is. Why?

Sleeves only, baby. I'm going out with my sleeves on tonight. Yeah, that is pretty fucked. That is fucked. Maybe he's going to do pants next. You know what? It'd be great for people to have, like, toothpick arms and, like, fucking kind of a nice chest and some abs. Cover up their little toothpick arms.

You'd like that, wouldn't you, Ricky? You get the packs out with the abs. Look at that guy. Fuck, he's in some shape. And then you go up to grab his arms. Jesus. Jesus, you got little toothpick arms in your sleeves there. Wow.

You know what? Not much happened this fucking day. Not much happened on most of the days. What a shitty fucking day. You know that? We got to think of something new. When not much happens, the best thing to do is just drink more. Charlie's Angels.

Family cars. Ooh, NASA launched Galaxy B in 83. Don't care. Don't even know what it is. I do care. So, fuck you, Ricky. What is it? Some useless piece of fucking metal that's just spinning around the Earth doing fuck all now.

Never mind. Oh, useless pieces of metal. That's what NASA puts up. 1983 technology. How about Cassini? Cassini fucking went into Saturn the other day. Burnt the other day. The end of Cassini, but fuck, it gave some awful nice pictures over the years. Why don't they just get rid of it?

Holy fuck. Why is it just all of a sudden done? Boys, forgive me for going back to Scott Baio here, but man. You're infatuated. This guy banged Pamela Lee Anderson, Nicolette Sheridan, Heather Locklear, Guy Bang, Pamela Lee Anderson, Nicolette Sheridan, Heather Locklear, and he said he gave the one Melissa Gilbert from Little Host on the Prairie a 10 in the sack. Really?

Laura Ingalls? Yes. No way. This guy fucked everybody. Scott Bale. Yeah. Jesus, Murphy. Laura Ingalls is hot in the sack. Ten.

Jesus, Murphy. I never would have guessed that. Nope. I know who I'll be thinking about tonight. What are you going to think about hiking up that old Quaker dress, are you, Ricky? And Lisa Minnelli when she was 49. Come on. Almost Lisa Minnelli.

Liza Minnelli. Liza Minnelli. Liza Minnelli. Yeah, Liza. Fucking Liza. Lisa's her distant cousin. Yeah. Lisa Minnelli. He's probably banned her.

The lesser known of the Minnelli twins. He probably banged a Lisa Minnelli. He banged Liza Minnelli, Heather Locklear, Pamela Anderson, and Laura Ingalls is the best. Not that he gave her a 10. Jesus. I wonder what she did to earn that 10. Some kind of old little house on the prairie track. Okay.

What would that be? I don't know. I bet it's like a spin move or something. It's probably like called a butter churn or something. She probably does this. Oh, he said Heather Locklear, hands down, the best lover of all time. I bet she would be pretty good. She's been banged quite a bit.

Are you? Denise Richards as well. Throw that one into the list. Jesus, he's got, he's banged more ladies than John Mayer. Any dudes? He gave her a three. Who? Scott.

Gave Denise Richards a three? Beverly D'Angelo gave her a ten. He banged Beverly D'Angelo? Yeah. You know, I did wear a bandana around my leg when I was growing up. Because this guy was fucking. So now you're admitting it. Yes, I did. But see, when you wore the bandana, you didn't know any of this. around my leg when I was growing up because this guy was fucking... So now you're admitting it.

Yes, I did. See, when you wore the bandana, you didn't know any of this, so you were just wearing it to be Scott Bale. This guy's a fucking legend, man. I always thought he was gay. You thought his name was Scott Gale for a while. No.

Any dudes on the list? There's no dudes on the list. Maybe he's bi. Scott Bale. There's no way he the list. Maybe he's by. Scott Bile. There's no way he's just pure straight. Scott Gale. Scott Bile. Bale Gale Bile. There's nothing good dudes in here.

Hey, Julie, remember that game you used to play? Bale Gale Bile? Fuck off. I don't know what you're talking about. Julie used to go to the bar and play Bo, Gayo, Bayo, just depending on who he picked up. Scott Gayo tonight. Well, I'm done.

Boys, I am fucking, I need a nap. You need a nap? I need to go. I've got to power through it. Bubbly? Okay. I'll drink to power through it. Bubbly. Okay. I'll drink with you today, man. Yeah, let's have a... I drink alone.

Let's have a day drunk. Not today, buddy. Yeah, with nobody else. Okay, boys, who are we going to have on next week? Let's make a thing right now. Big Nose. Let's try to get Matt Big Nose on. That'd be nice.

Can we afford to fly him from Italy? No. I don't think he's Italian, Ricky. I don't know, I forget. Mehmet is a Turkish name. No, I think actually he was from Rome. Well, I'm just saying Mehmet is a name of Turkish descent. So he is. Ricky was right.

All right, I did not know that. Hmm. Okay, wrap it up. You boys want to put our jammies on? Get in bed and watch a movie? All right, I did not know that. Hmm. Okay. You guys want to, you boys want to put our jammies on? Get in bed and watch a movie? No. That's not happening. I will watch a movie.

Good, I guess. I still don't have any jammies, but... What? Let's fucking end this, man. I wanted Bubbles to do an accent first. Just to say bye in a different accent. Well, goodbye. That was fucking terrible.

Why don't you do one, Ricky? I don't know how to do them, so why don't you do them? Yeah, maybe, maybe, maybe. Have some biscotti. Have a cappuccino. Goodbye. Goodbye. Psh! Scotty, cappuccino. Goodbye. Goodbye.