Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 113 - Holy Cheeses!

Episode Date: October 2, 2017

Moon Bear put his money where his ears are and shipped the Boys some ‘soft snacks’ that they can chew quietly on the podcash.  There’s just one problem - the snacks needed to be refrigerated, and they didn’t do so well on the long journey to Sunnyvale!   Episode 113 is brought to you by the official Trailer Park Boys Store, SwearNet.com (the only place to watch the video of this podcash), Liquormen's Ol' Dirty Canadian Whisky, and the Boys' own Freedom 35 lager!

Welcome to the Trailer Park Boys podcast, brought to you in parkboysswearingit.com, the only place where you can see the video version of this podcast. Nice one. And go to trailerparkboysmerch.com and check out some merch. Buy some stuff, please. They sponsor us, too. What about the beer and the liquor? I was just getting to that, Richard. Also, sponsored by Freedom 35, beer, drink the dream,

and Liquorman's old dirty Canadian whiskey. Drive her into your guts. Hello there, welcome to the Taylor Per Burke Boys Podcast, number 113. The date is September 29th, and we've got a big show planned today. Right on. That's good, man. Very good, man. Boys, what the fuck did I say about chewing? Oh, yeah, no, no. I thought that I could eat because I forgot Star Bear's package arrived. This is from Moon Bear?

Yep. Okay. Attention, Jeremy package arrived. This is from Moon Bear? Yep. Okay. Attention, Jeremy Chipper. For those that don't know, the boys have been passing off this guy named Moon Bear with their crunching of the chips. It's Michael Moon Bear. Because he probably listens to it in headphones and all he can hear is you guys

chewing and crunching like a couple of old fucking gorillas. Sorry, Moon Bear. Michael Moon Bear. So Moon Bear sent us some... Ricky, don't. Yeah, open it nice now. Moon Bear sent us some quiet snacks. I believe. Fuck off.

Just hack it open, man. Be careful, Ricky. You're swinging a fucking blade at me. Something smells like mold. Oh, great. I'm serious. Jesus, why would... What did fucking Moon Bear say?

Hopefully he didn't send milk. Maybe he's really pissed off at us, man. Wants to get us sick. Did you ever think of that, boys? Oh, my Jesus. Get that away from me. What is it? Mold or something.

It's fucked. Oh, my God. Oh's fucked. Mold. Oh, God. Oh, he sent fucking cheese. What? That's a fuck up. Jesus Christ, Moon Bear. Don't smell that, I'm gonna vomit. Yeah, you probably will.

You should probably give it the fuck away from me, man. Oh, it's moldy rotten meat, look. No. Look at the meat, Look at the rotten meat. Jesus Christ. Good job, Moon Bear. Here, you know what, Moon Bear? Yes. There's what I think of your moldy teeth.

Oh, my God. Like dump it out or just... You got to show the people what's in the box. We got gloves? Hey, Jeremy, please send me an email when you receive this. Just want to be certain that this package made it to you. You need a can opener for the cheese. Moonbear's not the smartest fucking bulb on the tree, is he?

Look at that. This stuff might still be good. It smells like fucking mold. Oh, what the, like what the fuck is that? Oh, is that? Oh, is that what's moldy? It's pepperoni. Well, don't put it there. Look at it.

Oh, my God. This one's even worse. Is that? Look at that fucking thing. That's the most mold I've ever seen on anything in my life. Good job, Moon Bear. You're a fucking brilliant fella. Moon Bear has ruined the day. Holy fuck, I'm gonna throw up.

Oh. Look at that one. Oh. Hey, oh, oh God. It's fucking gross. Oh man, I'm gonna, I'm gonna have to go throw up. Break it down. Get the pepperoni out of there.

Break it down. Don't throw up. You're good, have a drink of beer, here. Oh't get the pepperoni out of there, man. Don't throw up. You're good. Have a drink of beer. Here. Oh, God. This will get rid of the stench. Don't throw up on that nice shirt.

Breathe through your mouth. Breathe through. What's up with the fucking shirt, man? Don't throw up on your nice new shirt. My fucking dryer's not working. I got no fucking clothes left. I'm at the bottom of the barrel here. I think that's your trout shirt you used to wear when you were 15.

It looks like you're either going, well, maybe golfing and then fishing or something. Look at that fucking thing. Oh, God. Oh, you're drooling, man. Ricky, that was... There's more than that. Of course there is. Ricky, the meat was for Optimus.

Damn it. Ricky's going to puke. Here, Ricky. Let's go, Moon Bear. Moon Bear really fucked up this podcast, didn't he? Big time. Did you read his letter? Read it.

Is it supposed to be... Oh, there's mold on my hand now. Oh, there was mold on this. Fuck, there's mold everywhere. Mold. We got an anthrax fucking attack happening. Read the fucking letter. Maybe it'll explain things a little bit.

I got Bubba's message about quiet snacks, and why not go with some favorites? We don't have brother's pepperoni here, and why send you something that you already have access to? So I wanted to get you a taste of margarita pepperoni, as well as, oh, this paper fucking reeks like mold. I can't even read it. I can't get close enough to it.

You read it. Where are you? So I wanted to get a taste of a margarita pepperoni as well as some Mountain's Ranch Smokos for something different. Sausage and cheese go great together. When they're not fucking rotten, they do. Bigger cheddar from Australia. There's a new invention called refrigeration that works good for keeping things like that not moldy.

So is that what it's supposed to look like? Moldy and on the floor? Get that the fuck out of here. No, no, it's on the fucking ground. I'm just pointing in that direction. Ah, here, Moon Bear can go fuck himself. Oh, my God. I think it's supposed to look moldy and shitty.

It's not going to kill us, is it? It's not supposed to look moldy and shitty. Okay, thanks, Moon Bear, for sending us moldy sausage. The cans of cheese might still be okay. Ricky, are you really going to open a can of cheese? I'm curious. Somebody with a fucking walnut brain sent you that molded everything out? We could wash the cans and then open them.

I've never heard of canned cheese. You want to open the canned cheese, do you? Canned cheese. I don't know if I do, but I am curious. It's in a can. There's got to be a can opener here, man. Basket. The fuck?

You got a can opener? Yeah, that's a can opener. Oh, man. It's not easy to use. That's like a fucking lid. It's not easy to use, but you can fucking do it. It's for lids, man. No, Ricky, that's for lids.

I've opened cans with that before. It took a while. Think you can get into it with that? You could. I'm not strong enough. I'm not opening it. To cut steel with steel. Fuck off.

Fuck a dick. Mr.'m not opening it. To cut steel with steel. Fuck off. Fuck a dick. Mr. Steel could do it. Fuck. Man of steel could do it, no problem. Here, man of steel. That's nice. You can't. This is not what that's for.

Test it on a beer can. Test it on a beer can, man of steel. Test it on a beer can. Oh, yeah, look. Oh, man, you fucked over my can opener. Sorry, bud. Yeah, no, it's not going to work. Man.

Man of steel, Codulla. Oh, look, just wait. Something magically just appeared. Our little gorgeous assistant. Good going. Brought in some canned cheese and a real can opener. We should... Here, Ricky, I'm going to let you do it.

I'm having fucking memories of eating that... Surströmming. Surströmming in Sweden. Fucking, that was disgusting. Processed cheese. God, that smells moldy. We're going to have to open her up, man. You don't look.

It's got a pull tab, doesn't it, or no? No. Okay, well, you open the... How do you use these again? This is going to be a horrible idea. I'm going to fucking do some Googling on this beggar shit. Beggar. You got her started, Ricky?

Is the cheese juice squirting out of it? Let's see here. This is not a silent snack either. That looks pretty fucked. What is it? It's just a can of... Looks like hardened liquid cheese. Get that the fuck away from me.

Smell good? Bag of cheese. Kind of smells nice. That does smell good. Kind of smells like old feet. Some old guy's feet it smells like. Oh, it's really hard. I can't even get in it.

Here, smell it. Get that the fuck away from me, bubs. Sorry, Man of Steel. It'd be good on... I found Man of Steel's kryptonite. They make a lot of different cheeses. It'd be good on nachos. Really tasty on some nachos.

It wouldn't be good on nachos. With some salsa. It would be good on nachos with some salsa. And some guacamole. Some guac. Some guac. I'm not into the guac. And some salsa.

I'll take the salsa. And some SC. Some sour cream. Yeah. Now you're feeling me. Keep going, Rick. That was the smartest thing you've said in a long time. Hello, darling.

That was the smartest thing you've said in a long time. Hello, darling. So what are you going to do with that cheese log? I don't know. Are you going to, like, fucking cut into it or something? I don't have much cutting abilities. You've got some throwing knives over there, man. Oh, yeah. Chip, get the fuck out of here.

He's just trying to show off his ass on camera. He's doing a good job. There you go, sir. I don't want that, Ricky. Come on, bubs. You can eat any of it. Yeah? It's a cheese-erotic.

It tastes exactly kind of like... Cheese. Kraft Dinner, that bag of cheese that comes with it. That's not good, Ricky. That's fucking good. It's actually got a really... Yeah, you're going to love this, Julian. I'm not trying it, man.

Come on, Julian. No. Put a little piece under your... Just put it up here like chew. And it's a fairly silent snack. Let's hear you eat it, Ricky. You actually made a lot more noise. Let's see. It's a fairly silent snack. Let's hear you eat it, Ricky. You actually made a lot more noise. Let's see.

It's a weird texture. He's got a smack. He's got a smack. I like the flavor. Weird texture. I think it would be good melty, nacho-y. Yeah, I bet you it would be nice melted into a fondue. It's like a fondue cheese.

Some jalapenos. I think next Posh Cash, we'll try her. Some jalapenos. Maybe we'll have a nacho extravaganza. With nachos and salsa and guac. With that shit that's already open. I'm going to wait another week. You know what?

Well, I guess we could do it on the podcast too, but... Hockey starts Wednesday. Yes, it does. Fucking pumped for the hockey season to start. Who's your team this year, Ricky? I'm going full bore on Edmonton. Who's my team? Just like I used to.

No team. I'm going full bore on Edmonton Oilers, just like I used to back in the 80s. Go for it, man. They got a fucking good team, man. I know they do. Looking good. New fucking arena. The word, I can't confirm this, but I've heard from multiple sources,

reliable sources, that they were talking about me and wondering if I would come out to training camp. Well, you sort of are missing it, right? Started about two weeks ago. Yeah, I know, but I couldn't missing it, right? Started about two weeks ago. Yeah, I know, but I couldn't do it, obviously. Just too busy with podcasts? But they were talking. They were wondering if I would be interested in coming out for the team.

Everybody knows you're lying right now, man. I'm not lying. I heard that. That would never, ever fucking happen. Ever. They were curious as to whether I would be willing to do the training to play on the team. Maybe to be like a stick boy or something. No. Sitting on the bench collecting sticks and grabbing gloves. It was to be on. Not to play man. Yeah it was. It was to be on Connor McDavid's line

actually. They're looking for a wingman for him. You're kind of past your prime, as they say. She's jumping ship on Sid the Kid. He's kind of from around here. Bailing on him and going with Connor. Yeah, I'm going to have to. It's a good choice. What about McKinnon? He's from around these parts. Yeah, Colorado.

We're going to be playing a show in Edmonton, so I'm suck-holing right now. Oh, that's good. That's smart. Why are you just whispering to him? Because he likes me more. I'm going to being right now. That's good. That's smart. Why are you just whispering to Ed? Because he likes me more. I'm not going to be going to Edmonton. I'm working on getting us free tickets.

I think Edmonton's a great team. Right? Yeah. I'm still smelling mold. I don't want to throw it. It might be the can of cheese. It probably is. It's probably all over that can, man.

It's good. I'm going to melt the fuck out of you. You watch. Well, it can't watch, Ricky. It's cheese. It doesn't have eyes. It doesn't have ears. It can't hear you saying that, too.

It doesn't have eyes, either. It's a living fucking thing. It used to be milk and it made itself into that. So it knows how to think. Knows how to think. You think it made itself into cheese, do you? Did you, Rick? No.

I didn't say I did. But somebody did. Somebody had the milk and said, I'm going to leave the cow and I'm going to jump in this fucking can and turn into this. Add some spices. To myself. I taste like Kraft dinner. I'm going to add some spices to myself. I'm going to go into the right little devices here and hit some temperature change.

Boom, I'm cheese. And that's what it's saying, is it? Ricky, you should be writing a fucking cartoon, you know that? Kids books. Yeah. How cheese is made. By cheeses I made myself. Holy cheeses.

Holy cheeses. That Jesus. Holy Jesus. That's a good deal. Sweet fucking Jesus. We could open a store that just sells cheese. Yeah, we could open a religious cheese store. Holy fucking Jesus. We could open a religious cheese store called Holy fucking Jesus. Jesus Christ, that smells nice. Jesus Christ, that's a nice cheese.

What are your favorite cheeses, Ricky? People want to know. I like a nice smoked cheddar or smoked gouda. Yes. What was that shit you had, that fucking ridiculous, delicious, soft shit? That was Camembert. Was that what it was? Very nice cheese.

Nice, soft cheese. I like the soft cheese. I like, you know, your straight-up pizza cheese and that sort of shit. Yeah, mozzarella. Mozzarella pizza cheese. Nacho cheese. Yeah. Grilled cheese sandwich cheese, man.

Fucking processed cheddar. We're talking about real cheese. You're not an old processed orange cheese slice. I like the fucking not fancy cheese. I like the not fancy cheese too, but this particular discussion happens to be about the fancier of the cheeses. I like the... Have you ever had a Wensleydale?

No, I don't think so. It's a nice one. I like the blue cheeses. I like those hot... The blue ones. Yes. I like the jalapeno Haverdy. Not bad. Yeah. With some little red pepper jelly on a blue ones. Yes. The Jalapeno Haverdi. Not bad.

Yeah. With some little red pepper jelly on a cracker. Yeah. Isn't it just fucking bold? Cream cheese. You know what I said at a cheese party one time? What? Guy said, would you like some cheese?

I said, no, thank you. I've already had some. There you go. Get it? Yeah, I get it. I've already had some. How did you get that? Did you go to the cheese party just to use that? Yeah, I get it. I've already had some.

Did you go to the cheese party just to use that? Yeah. Smart. Cost me 20 bucks to get into the cheese party, too. Did you hope you ate $20 worth of cheese? Oh, I ate at least $60 worth of cheese. Jesus Christ, you're better. I was cheesing it up in there, boys.

I put some down my pants, took it home. boys. I put some down my pants, took it home. We should have had a backup for, we should have expected Mooncat to fuck that shit up and we should have had some salt. I just don't know what's going through his head. Yeah, I'm gonna send spoilable fucking meat. If you buy something and it comes out of the fridge, you can't leave it out of the fridge and send it in the fucking mail. You can't leave it out in the fridge and send it in the fucking mail. Even Ricky knows that Moonberry, you stupid bastard. Maybe it wasn't in the fucking fridge and he thought it would be okay and it just got air inside it or... Who fucking knows? Well he put it in a wet, dark package too.

Listen boys. Was it wet? Where does he... Listen, it's raining horse cocks. It is raining. That's the fucking weather. God damn it. There's too many fucking storms this year.

Somebody's got to do something. Invent something. There's nothing. You can't do anything. You have to be able to. Everything can be fixed. Not everything can be fixed. That's right, buddy.

What about your black soul? On my shoe? Puffs. He doesn't have a black sole. Ricky's got a black sole. A couple of them. So this was a... These ones are white, but...

Okay, this is actually a pretty important day, guys. Is it really? This day means a lot to me. I fucking beg to be different. It's probably lame as fuck. Check this out. Back in 66, they introduced the Chevy Camaro. Oh.

Originally named Panther. I'm glad they fucking... Well, Panther's pretty cool, too. Sex Panther. No. The Camaro's way cooler. 1916 American oil tycoon John D. Rockefeller becomes the world's first billionaire. He was a billionaire in 1916.

That's a lot of money back then. That means today, by today's standards, you're probably a trillionaire. That's how rich that cocksucker was. Definitely, man. Definitely. John D. Rockefeller. Oh, back in 82. Uh, cheers. First broadcast. Cheers to you, Julian.

No, that was a... I mean, that show, that... That changed my life, that show. That's what made me want to open up a bar myself. Take it easy there, Sam Malone. Well, I'm... Yeah, he was a good bar owner, that myself. Take it easy there, Sam Malone. Well, he was a good bar owner, that guy. You liked the way he looked, too. I had nothing to do with that.

You used to comment on Sam's beautiful hair. You used to say, fuck, he's got beautiful hair. Yeah. Sam was cool, okay? You became a Red Sox fan because of fucking Sam Malone. He had the ladies. He had a nice bar. He had a bunch of regulars and shit.

Nice ass. It had nothing to do with how he, he had a bunch of, you know, regulars and shit. Nice ass. It had nothing to do with how he looked. You liked his eyes, you said. I don't even know, I couldn't tell you what color his eyes are. No idea. Would you bang Diane or what's her face, the bartender? Diane was the... The blonde.

The blonde. Her. What was the one? I can't believe I can't think of the one that The blonde. Her. What was the one? I can't believe I can't think of the one that the bar's named. Rhea Perlman's a real name. Oh, yeah. What was her name? Carla?

Carla. Carla. Danny DeVito used to tee off on her. Yeah, she did for years. Does he not anymore? What is the other one? What? The other one.

The dark-haired one. Who? Not Diane, but... Oh. Oh, well, Kirstie Alley. Kirstie Alley, yeah. Her name was Jesus. I'm drawing a blank here on Cheers. Terrible.

I mean, ask me a question about Benson And I'll fucking give you the answer Benson Endicott the third No sorry It was Clayton Endicott the third Clifton? Clayton Clayton? Clayton Endicott the third worked at the Benson mansion

Oh I thought we were talking about Cheers still So did I man No I said ask me a Benson question Oh a Benson question Remember Oh, a Benson question. Remember Benson? Yes. Robert Guillaume, he was fucking fantastic. He was good.

Mrs. Krause, remember you used to get right turned on by Mrs. Krause? Yeah, she was hot in her own little way. In her own little weird German dictator way. I hear you. I can hear you. Remember you, you see all that? What about Ricky Schroeder?

Silver spoons. There's a pretty local famous fucking thing that happened on this day. What? 2003. Hurricane fucking won. Oh, that sucked.

That cocked us over pretty good. That cocked me over. My fucking, that was the end of that shed. Fuck. Yeah. My shed, they found it 14 kilometers away. Every tree gone in the park. Everything.

Yeah, I could have died that night. Only one fucking birthday? Only one fucking person born today. Jerry Lee Lewis. Come along, baby, a whole lot of shaking going on. That's pretty fucked up So because he was born on this day, nobody else was allowed to be? No, it's just he was the most famous, Ricky

Yeah, there's usually ten of them Crazy as fuck He was a crazy bastard Well, he still is a crazy bastard He's still alive Jerry Lee Lewis, I'd love to meet Jerry Lee You got the nickname The Killer That's never good.

No. You know, you're being suspected of murder and then your nickname's The Killer. Who'd he kill? Hmm? There's different people who say different things. Jimmy Hoffa, maybe. Jimmy Hoffa's still alive, isn't he? He's gone. He's just not around, but they've never found him.

So you think he's alive? He could have been in one of the islands. Didn't we have a discussion about this before? And Ricky thought he was in a sofa or something in Las Vegas on the side of the road? Yes. Oh yeah, that's right. Well, he did. That could be really what happened to him.

Don't think so. Ricky thinks he died because he got accidentally folded himself up in a couch and couldn't get out. Then he went to landfill. His band walked out on him. Yes, he did. You gotta explain this shit to me, man.

Remember a few weeks ago, a couple weeks ago? Oh, yes, the sonic weapon attack. How the fuck does that work? With laser precision, it said, or some shit. It was some kind of a sonic attack, Ricky. So they used sound waves. They made people no hear no more. They make people no hear no more. Yes, they use pinpoint, like, focused sound waves to, like, fuck you up.

Fuck your ears. Fuck your ears up. Now that some of the people can't remember certain words. Well, yeah, those waves are going in, scrambling your brains up. That shit scares the fuck out of me, man. I've dabbled in, I've dabbled in sonic weaponry. Did you ever do experiments on Ricky? a fuck out of me, man. I've dabbled in I've dabbled in sonic weaponry. Did you ever

do experiments on Ricky? Don't bring that up. I knew it. Don't be fucking around with my ears, man. You need your ears. You're fucked with your brain.

I like to be able to hear stuff. Yeah, hearing's good, isn't it, Ricky? It's awesome. For music and shows and sports. For music, it's fantastic.

They go hand in hand, sort of. Boys, I'm just fading right out. You've been fucked. You've been really partying hard the last couple weeks. That's all. That's how I does it. You're excited about hockey, too, aren't you? That's how I does it.

That's how the do-do-do-do does it. You're excited about hockey too, aren't you? That's how I does it. That's how to do do do do does it. Whatever that means. All right. I had another wave of bottle tokes. A wave of hashish. We haven't done bottle tokes in a while. Were you doing bottle tokes today, Ricky? Fuck yeah. Explain to the good people at home what a bottle talk is for those who don't know. Well, you could take a fucking can or a bottle. Glass is better. Yeah. Or you can just be lazy and cut a fucking hole in a plastic bottle.

Take a little tiny ball of hash. But tell them how you, if it's glass, tell them how you put the hole in it. I always found that fascinating. You got to put a little dime in it. And you got to bang it with just the right pressure off your fucking foot and it'll make a nice little hole

about that fucking big. Perfect. Dime. Put a cigarette in. Yep. And I always thought he was full of shit and then he showed me and it actually works.

Pick up a piece of hash on the cigarette, put it in there, let it burn. Thumb on the top. As soon as it's done. Fucking delicious. You're getting all excited.

I want one again. Ricky, I can't look at you with your old trout shirt on. I like this shirt. I might start rocking this. I haven't seen you wear that since you were 50. It was a fucking badass shirt back then. It was pretty cool. I remember the day you got it. Ray stole it from the Salvation Army. All the girls were like, look at fucking Ricky's shirt. Wow.

Were they, though? They were, man. That's how I remember it. I remember all the fellas going, look at Ricky's stupid fucking shirt. It's got fish on it. That's what little boys say when they're fucking jealous as fuck. They were calling them troat tits. Little troaty tits. And mackerel tits. Mm-hmm. Old troaty tits.

And mackerel tits. I forgot about that. Tuna tits. Hey, tuna tits. Tuna tits. Ricky, tuna tits. Yeah, I'm surprised you're wearing it, man. They weren't fucking laughing when I broke their fucking noses, though, were they?

No, they weren't. That's what happens. You should still be able to do that to bullies. Break their fucking nose. Not with a shovel though, Ricky. That was excessive. You hit him with a metal shovel. And I don't think that kid was even saying anything to you. No, you hit the wrong kid. I think you hit the wrong kid.

He won't fucking move off, will he? Not anymore. You probably can't smell properly either. You know what? I can't fucking find anything here, guys. There's a fucking sort of shocker. Why? That you can't find anything.

Extreme education. This man obtains 145 academic degrees in 30 fucking years. Why? 145 degrees? 145 academic degrees in 30 fucking years. Why? 145 degrees? 145. That is one smart fella. Is there even that many degrees?

What the fuck are they in? You must have a degree in everything. He's full of shit. He's probably just saying, I took a fucking course on how to mow a lawn, so I got a degree in it. Fuck off. Cleaning the ice with a Zamboni degree.

Okay. It's fucking useful. Ricky, you're just making those up, though. Nobody said he has degrees in those. Well, what is there? There's fucking business. Doctor. Yeah.

What else? There's all kinds of degrees, Ricky. He might have an English degree, a history degree, a philosophy degree. What do you do with that shit? You brag that you got a 145 degree. Wow, I got a fucking degree in history. I know everything about it. Does it rest as degrees? Guess what?

Okay, he's got three master. I can look it up on the interweb. Masters of science degrees, eight master of law degrees, eight master of commerce degrees, nine masters of business administration degrees. Jesus. Ten masters of arts degrees. Why fucking waste your brain space with all that stupid shit nine Masters of Business Administration degrees, ten Masters of Arts degrees, and 12 years of studies.

Why fucking waste your brain space with all that stupid shit when you can just look it up on your phone? Rick, you think how smart he is? How old is he? Fuck, he's... I don't know. You can ask him how far away the sun is, and he might know.

42. You can ask me, and I can look it up, and I can know in two seconds. He's how old? So I'm just as smart as that fucking guy. 52, so now he's told to join the workforce. That's nice. Yeah.

Fuck that one, I'm kidding you about it. No, he was working for the justice department. Professional fucking student. You know what's the biggest thing about this whole thing that's shocking? The guy's married and has two kids. You know, he's not banging much. He's studying.

I'm at 45 degrees. Well, unless she's riding him when he's reading textbooks. That's what I think he's doing, because he says he's going to work. He's, like, studying for other shit when he's doing his job. Well, she's obviously riding somebody. It's hard to have kids unless you do that. Yeah, you definitely have to bang to have kids, Rick. Well, not necessarily, but it's the easiest way.

Well, yeah, it's... Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. Yeah. There's the old turkey baster method. People do that a lot, huh? I know. You wouldn't want to ram this up anything. That fucking crazy fanged eel that washed up from that

hurricane cock sucking Harvey. I never saw that until this week. Mysterious fanged eel. This is fucked looking. Chipper could probably put aious fanged eel. This is fucked looking. Chipper could probably put a picture up. What? He's fucked looking. Where is he?

He kind of looks like I imagine Julian's mother might look. Big gnarly teeth. Whatever. Jesus, look at that thing. He's fucked. He's gnarly looking. Fangy eely. Fangy eely. That's fucked. He's gnarly looking. Fangy Ely. Fangy Ely.

That's what they call him in Latin. He does look awful. He just looks like an awful thing. Horrible. I bet you he's nice, though. I'd like to have him as a pet. Have you seen him? Fangy Ely.

He looks like my mother, huh? Mm-hmm. That's real nice. You like monkeys, don't you? I do not enjoy monkeys, Ricky. Well, there's one they haven't seen for 81 years, and now he's back. Oh, great. He's been hiding out. He's like, all right, fuck this.

Great, yeah, look at him, too. He's an evil looking... The Saki monkey. It's about the first time in 81 years. He fucking just comes out. He must have ran out of Saki. Mm-hmm about the first 81 years. He fucking just comes out. He must have ran out of Saki. Coming out to get a refill.

He's going to go back into another 81 year hibernation. That's a big fucking bottle he had if he'd been drinking it for 81 years, Ricky. He probably doesn't need much. He's just a little guy. Little sip a day, back to sleep. Wake up, another sip, back to sleep. Fucking good life.

Ricky. If you could be a sake-drinking monkey, would you do it? Fuck it, in one second. What happened to Ricky? He turned into a sake-drinking monkey. He only comes out every 81 years. He's a fucking drunk in the woods. Wasted. Sipping on sake. And you'd like to come out once, like, every 81 years. He's fucking drunk in the woods. Wasted.

Sipping on sake. And you'd like to come out once like every 81 years. And then go back to sleep. Just sober up for a year. And then go back. You'd wake up and everybody that you know would be dead. He's in his sake bed. I wouldn't give a fuck because I live forever. Swinging from trees.

Jacking off on tourists. Tortoises? Tourists. That would be kind of funny. Remember when we went to the zoo and that monkey jacked on you, Julian? Fuck off. Remember he flung it in your drink? Nothing hit me.

He was jacking. He flung it in your drink and you didn't know. No, he didn't. He did. You were drinking it. Monkey load. Was it tasteless? Don't believe you. Tasteless and colorless. No, he didn't. He did. You were drinking it. Monkey load. Was it tasteless? Don't believe it.

Tasteless and colorless. Julian drank monkey load. Julian drank monkey load. Monkey load. Monkey load. No, it's ass. All right. Man, you should become friends with this guy.

Who? That fucking fellow that he worked for that motor car company. Yeah? And he quit his job to fucking try to come up with a cure for a hangover. Oh, I love him already. Sison Lee worked as an engineer at Tesla. Now he's making a hangover cure. How's it working out for him?

Don't know. That could come in very handy. Oh, the best hangover cure for me is just have a drink. It's just a good pace. As long as you don't have to drive anywhere. Holy fuck, boys. You okay? I just had a great big yawn.

I almost passed out. I think it's nap time. It is nap time. If you do it again, I'm putting a fucking beer all over your computer. I think it's nap time for the bubbler. Fuck, man. You're going to miss it. Friday, we got a party.

Have a nap and get the fuck up by 4.30. Okay, Ricky, I will. I'm going to cook some burgers tonight. I'm going to get the butter dish. I'm getting in the butter dish. I'm cooking burgers tonight, and you are going to shit a fucking donkey. Why? Because they're going to be good.

Big. Charcoal. Charcoal barbecue? Fuck yeah. I got the big buns. I'm going to make some fucking patties this big so they don't shrink to about that big. Fuck! Oh, can we have spiral cut hot dogs, too?

Yes! Three pieces of cheese. Decent. Little toast on the bun. Onion. Little boast on the top. Yes! Three pieces of cheese. Decent. Decent. A little toast on the bun. Onion. A little boast on the tongue. Fuck!

Let's do it. Let's do it. Tune in next week when we beat the fuck out of Batman.