Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 123 - The Dick Who Stole Christmas

Episode Date: December 25, 2017

Randy the Elf joins Ricky, Julian, and Bubbles (well, Ricky is there in body, anyway) for the Christmas podcash!  Ricky’s mushroom brain explains the origin of Christmas, and the Boys talk about the best gifts they’ve ever received. Episode 123 is brought to you by the official Trailer Park Boys Store, SwearNet.com (the only place to watch the video of this podcash), Liquormen's Ol' Dirty Canadian Whisky, and the Boys' own Freedom 35 lager!

Welcome to the Trailer Perk Boys podcast, brought to you in perkboysswearingit.com, the only place where you can see the video version of this podcast. Nice one. And go to trailerperkboysmerch.com and check out some merch, buy some stuff, please. They sponsor us too. What about the beer and the liquor? I was just getting to that, Richard. Also sponsored by Freedom 35, Drink the Dream, and Leckerman's all-dirty Canadian whiskey.

And a new beer is born. Try my new Rickey's Catch-23 malt liquor. It's stronger than you are. What are you looking at? Come on, come on, come on. What are you looking at? Okay boys, you better get in a fucking better mood right now. I should be here right now, man. You should. I've got too much fucking shit to do. What do you mean? Ricky.

What is he doing? He's decorating and just leave him alone. Can't have a fucking Christmas thing without Christmas lights. That's right. I don't need the lights over here. He's decorating. just leave him alone. Can't have a fucking Christmas thing without Christmas lights. I don't need the lights over here. He's decorating, just leave him alone. Good job, Ricky. Thanks, Santa. There's way too many fucking lights.

There you go. Put them on the... Oh, fuck. Ricky, I mean, I love that you're in the spirit, but why don't you let me do that? You know what's really shitty when you're really... You're too fucked up, Ricky. ...fucked up is dealing with Christmas lights.

I can't do this today. I can't deal with all this shit right now. Well, you're dealing with it. Sorry to say, but it's Christmas. Let me know when we're ready to go. We're going. We're going. We're going. Want to get this started?

Christmas podcast. What's going on, fuckers? This is the official Triller Prep Boys podcast. Christmas podcast? I was going to say that. Coming at you right now, this is episode 123. Merry fucking Christmas. There.

Fuck off. Three days till Christmas. Fuck you. Ricky, just leave them. You're gonna electrocute yourself. It's Christmas-idky-lirty. Okay, so why don't you tell the people why you're a big Christmas Grinch today? What the fuck? I'm not being a Grinch. My sales are, like, way down from last year.

Oh, your fucking sales are way down. Nobody's buying those, like, nobody's buying Christmas lights anymore. What the fuck is up with these little spotlights that beams all these fucking lights at your house? It just makes things easier. No, it makes it shitty. I've got 160 of those right now in my shop going for five bucks each. What? Those little spotlight things.

You have those? Yeah, I've got a bunch of them. Those are hard to get. They're all sold out. I've got 160 of them. So I'm now selling them for 15 bucks each. I've got to get rid of them. I'd like to apologize to number 426 Culver Road. We had to borrow your Christmas lights.

Ricky, why would you announce where you got them? I'm going to take them back. Are you gonna plug them in? Yeah. 20 bucks says he doesn't take these things back after Christmas. Why is he even fucking drinking them, Jack? What is he doing? Ricky. Ricky, why don't you sit down and I'll decorate, bud? I got this.

You're gonna... Buzz, I got way too much stuff to do. I got this. You're gonna... Buzz, I got way too much shit to do to be watching him fucking decorate this place. Ricky. I like that he's decorating. At least he's got the Christmas spirit. I'll have the Christmas spirit Christmas day, okay?

Yeah. You look so Christmassy over there, Julian. Hey, guys. How's it going? Hey, Randy, what's going on? Merry Christmas, guys. I got some stuff. Check it out. Come on in, Randy. Have a seat. I got the Christmas spirit, everybody. You look great as Santa, bubs.

Well, thank you. Ricky, nice hat. That's awesome. Santa, bubs. Well, thank you. Ricky, nice hat. That's awesome. Julia, look. Look what I got you something for Christmas. Look, I got you some protein bars

for your muscles. Fuck. Look at those. Those are the good ones. Check them out. 15 grams of protein. That's awesome. Some popcorn.

This microwave popcorn very good for you. When was the last time you brushed your fucking teeth? I brush my teeth every day. You got the Christmas stink going, don't you, Randy? Here, I got some chips.

Look at those. Those are spicy chips. Ricky, look what I got. I got some candy and some beef jerky. Look at that. Merry Christmas. This is awesome. You guys are right in the spirit.

What's he doing? I don't know. Are you filming something? What are you doing? I'm inviting him. No, I didn't invite him. When I walked in, they shoved this shit invite them? No, I didn't invite them. When I walked in, they shoved this shit on me.

Okay, just leave it, Randy. Summer is going on. It's itchy for fuck's sake. It's itchy for fuck's sake to put fucking Christmas lights away when they put them away. You know what you should have, Randy? You should have a Christmas shower. Yeah, that's a great idea. A Christmas shower would be a great idea.

A Christmas brush your teeth day. These are fucked, Ricky. Why don't you get him a toothbrush for Christmas? I'm not getting him anything for Christmas. So what are you guys doing here today? Anyway, you're decorating. We did a great job. This looks awesome.

Randy, Randy. What the fuck are you doing here? Yeah, Randy. I just came to give some presents to you guys. Some candies and chips and protein bars. Just, you know, let's start this year good and be happy, Julian. What do you think? I'm in, Randy.

Thanks. Pubs, man, you look great. This is Christmas. This is awesome. This is great. Ricky. Ricky, what the frick? How much have you had to drink?

Ricky, please, just sit down. Boys, I got this. You're gonna... Ricky, Ricky. Does anybody know what I did with the other ones? Ricky, stop, just sit down. Oh, here it is. Why is he so fucked up?

Because he is fucked. Ricky, just sit down. So what are you guys doing today? Randy, Randy, Randy, Randy. These bars have expired. This popcorn expired September 8 Randy, Randy. These bars have expired. This popcorn expired September 8th, 1999.

You dumb ass. Where did you get it, Randy? I got them at the store. Expiring dates don't mean anything, Bubbles. They just put them on there just to print them on there. It's sealed in it. Eight years over, Randy?

The fuck is happening here now? Fuck, Ricky. Fuck, Randy. Watch it, Randy, or he'll staple those right to your back. He stapled them to me one time. What the fuck is this thing? Here, why don't you put up some decorations over there, bud? All right.

Over there. Jesus, he stinks. I didn't know this was going to be decorating day on camera, okay? Some of these could go on the fucking tree, I think. Fuck off. Why does that have to fall on me? Hey, Ricky. Maybe you should just sit down, you think?

Maybe it looks nice enough, Rick, okay? There's enough decorations. He's going in there choking himself. He's going to choke himself. Hey, Bubz, you could use these mittens. Look, they're red. They match your suit. Oh, they're pretty good.

Listen, that's nice. What in the frig is up with these legs over here, anyway? Oh, did you see those yet, Randy? Just wait. Now I got the mitten on. I can't. Watch this. Do-do-do-do-do. Do-do-do-do-do-do. See those yet, Randy? Just wait, now I got the mitten on, I can. Watch this.

Foxy, is that ever cool? Woo! Woo! Woo! Three times, bubs. Man, you're being a real dick. Okay, boys. Let's talk about Christmas. Let's talk all things Christmas.

All these are hooked together. I guess I don't need to put my arms any further than that apart for any reason. There we go. Ricky, what the fuck man? Merry Christmas! You've got enough lights. Fuck, boys. Too many mushrooms. Aw, Ricky, are you on mushrooms? I didn't know that. Here, sit down. Come on. You're gonna electric cocksucker yourself. I'm almost back to base.

You're gonna electric cocksucker yourself. Fucking cocksucker. Why would those be hooked together with a string? Fuck off! So you don't lose them, bubs. They're kids' meds. I know, but who... Oh, these are for kids? Oh, hey, look, I'm playing...

Well, they do have them. They connect together. Oh, it's a terrible... Terrible fucking idea. But I do like them. What? Can I borrow your muscles for a second? Why? I can't get this plug in.

Boys, we're supposed to be doing a podcast. Where you talk about stuff. This candy can't get broken. It's a little bit fucked up, but... Wow, you're strong. Fuck off. Look, if you put it in this like this, it looks like it's... See? Look. It looks perfect now.

Yeah, it looks great, Randy. Great. Okay, let's talk about Christmas. Okay, go for it. What is Christmas to you? What's it mean to you? You know what it means to me. I know, but... I just want some fucking...

Ricky, man, seriously. Mm-hmm. There's enough fucking lights here, bud. I know, but I got to get back to the base where the pluggy power is. I don't think Santa said his sled is this friggin' small, and it's got reindeer, but there's kitties right in his sled, but he doesn't even have his sack on there. Hey, you did it, Ricky!

There we go. Now it's Christmas almost. You did it, Ricky. There we go. Now it's Christmas almost. You did it. It's a waste of power. You know what Christmas is? Bob's, where the fuck is the plug on the fucking tree lights? The tree's on, Ricky. Oh, yeah.

The lights are already on there, Bob. Just, you did it. Here, just get back on your chair there, buddy. As I was saying, Bob's, Christmas, it's about peace, okay? About what? It's about the peace I'm going to have all winter, knowing that I've got all my bills covered, and I won't have to go to jail.

Would you get that fuck off me? Just put that on, Julian. You'll look Christmassy. Look, it's like a little crown. Get the fuck away from me. Julian, you've got to get in the mood. Get the fuck away from me. Look, it's nice, Bob.

You should just wear it like a crown. What is this? It's a decoration. Okay, why don't you sit down, Randy? You're making me nervous now. If you don't... Remind me. Deodorant.

For Chris. Well, the gummies are good, Randy. He's jerking with you. Okay, boys, let's... We gotta get the podcast started here. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay are good, Randy. He's jerking with you. Okay, boys, let's... We gotta get the podcast started here. Okay. Okay.

It's Christmas, almost Christmas, 2017. I am in the festive spirit. Randy's always in the... Well, that was my beer, Randy. That's good. I'm in the festive spirit. I'm dressed like an elf. Merry Christmas, everybody! There's lipstick on my beer can. I'm not the festive spirit. I'm dressed like an elf. Merry Christmas, everybody!

There's lipstick on my beer can. I'm not wearing lipstick. Elves don't wear lipstick. You've got some kind of weird lip stuff going on. You left a collar on there. Ricky's festive. Ricky's doing good. Julian... One of these kids is doing their own thing. One of these kids just isn't the same.

He's like the duck that stole Christmas. The duck who stole Christmas. Boys, making money's important, okay? I try to tell this to you guys all the time, every year. I know, but couldn't you take a break? Money pays the bills. Who's gonna pay for the electric bill, Ricky, with all these fucking lights?

Those are LEDs. They're LEDs. That's not LED, man. I believe it is. It's not. They can make LEDs now that look just like... That's not fucking LED. That is. It's an LED filament style, they call it.

Julian, I got an extra elf hat. You want to wear an elf hat? I don't want to wear a fucking elf hat, Randy. Well, it's just a hat. Ricky's got a hat. What is LED? Light Emitting Diode, Ricky. But how not hot? Well, it's... that's a good question. That's a good question. It's not electrically based.

Like, it's not like the thing heats up and glows. It's just like, hey, there's light coming out of me. I don't know the technical. So, less power, no heat. Exactly. Same light. Better light, some would argue. Wow. That's cool. Some would argue. The technology is just getting like... Look at this, remember I was talking about...

No, I thought it's... It's not LED. Ah! See? That's LED, but it's a hot... Can I put this on your nose then? Huh? No, I'm not saying it's not hot. It's a different type of filament LED. It is not LED. The hot type. Watch we don't fucking burn the place down. While I'm learning... Watch we don't burn the place down then. While we're learning here,

I was thinking about this last night. Do animals and things that lay eggs, do they have testicles too? Yeah, oysters have testicles. Okay. Sorry, what was your question, Ricky? Like a chicken or a lizard, if you lay an egg, a snake,

do you have the testicles? Like, how does it work? Well, it would be a female chicken that lays the egg. It's a rooster that's got the balls. And what does he, he sprays her? How does it go? I think they just do it, chicken, you know, probably from behind. Yeah, doggy style.

But chicken style. So they got all the gear like us. I don't know if chickens got wieners or not. I think they got force gears. Chickens must have wieners. They must have. They have wieners, man. No, you know what?

The peckers are on their face. That was a good one. All right, that was a good one. No, you know what the Packers are on their face That's a good one. All right, that was a good one Packers are on their face get it They're they packed with their little beaks. Oh That was good bubs. Oh Hilarious Wake up. Why are you wondering about chicken wings, Ricky? Came to mind. Hey, how do they make those eggs?

Do you remember what was going through your mind just before you thought of that by chance? Well, I was hungry and thinking, should I eat now or just get up and make big eggs and bacon? And then when I was thinking about eggs, I was like, fucking eggs. Still haven't figured that one out. And I thought, but no. Didn't get it figured out. See, we're getting some insight into his mind. Now, here's a question, Ricky.

Do you remember what you were thinking right before you were thinking all that stuff? No. No? Here's a question, Ricky. Do you remember what you were thinking right before you were thinking all that stuff? No. No? I wish we could have went back another layer. Try to go back another layer. Okay, so there's a gap there, and then do you remember anything prior to that?

Corey was talking about volcanoes. I do remember that. He likes them. Corey likes volcanoes? Yeah, he doesn't know how they work. We're talking about things we can't explain. And he doesn't know how volcanoes work? No. Tectonic ship plates. They come together and then lava comes up, right? That's something like that, Randy.

That's pretty scientific of you. Ship plates. Yeah. This is really fun. This is not fun. I think it's very fun. It's not fun, man. And I don't like to be in front of the camera being grumpy like this,

looking like a dick. I know I'm looking like a dick and everything. Well, then don't be fucking grumpy. Tell me your... Here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna talk about Christmas past. Boys. Top three Christmas

Christmas presents you ever got in your life. Julian. Or top... Name something from the top three. Oh, man. Top three. You think about it. Randy, what's your top three presents you ever got in your life? New barbecue, spatula, and a box of Angus beef burgers.

Randy, that's not... That's the best present. Even as a kid. Oh. You didn't get a fucking barbecue when you were little, did you? No. But you gotta be a kid? Like a kid's present? Well, the best one of your life, I would think, would be when you were a kid.

Like a lot of great ones. Yeah. Hey, Ricky, do you remember your best present you ever got when you were a kid? Uh, fuck. I remember getting one of those... motocross... the pedal bikes with the... No, the shock bikes. Bicycles that had the shocks on them. Oh, yeah, it was cool.

I don't remember you having one of those for Christmas. You stole one in the summer. That wasn't for Christmas. I miss that bike. It's in the lake. I miss it a lot. Jesus. Remember when, remember the year I got Stretch Armstrong?

Yeah, that thing drove me nuts, man. Julian fucking pulled his arms right off first try. Because it was like an imitation. Stretch arms, stretch arms. No, Bubbs, I kind of put a little cut under each armpit. The thing drove me fucking nuts, man. Oh, so you fucking, you destroyed him on purpose. Well, no, I, well, kind of.

I didn't think it would actually snap off. He's a terrible toy once his arms are gone. No, you can't do anything with it. Not much you can do with them at all, then. I really can't remember much of, like, anything. Usually for Christmas they're wasted. Remember you got the... the K-Tow fishing rod that folds up? The little mini one?

That was pretty cool. That one was good. I had one of those and it never friggin' worked, one of those little pocket things. Yeah, pocket rod. Yeah, but it didn't work, for frig's sakes. Mm-hmm. For everybody else on the planet, Randy. Maybe you just weren't smart enough to work it. No, it had a little button, but the button got all frigged up.

When I was 11, the old man gave me a gram of a really good hash. I think it was a Romeo and Juliet. That was a good Christmas. He had no money. Yeah, I remember that one, Ray. He used to give you hash for Christmas when we were kids. It's a little bit weird now that I think back about it.

It's kind of weird. Most kids don't get hash for Christmas. You think he could have at least wrapped it up. Remember the year I got Evel Knievel's stunt cycle? That was cool. Remember that? I remember Evil Knievel. That was decent, and then he got run over.

He got run over. Shitty Bill ran him over in his truck. You guys don't remember any of these presents? I remember the Evil Knievel. I actually got that for Christmas. Then I wrapped it up and gave it to you because you wanted it so bad, so. That's not true.

That is true, man. 100% true. Santa brought me that. Santa. All right, I'm just trying to find some like Christmas stuff here, man. Get us in the Christmas mood. Is he sleeping, Randy?

Ricky. Ricky. Mm-hmm. No. Hey, man. He's got a serious buzz on. I know. I didn't think this happened until like Christmas Day.

Hey, Ricky, remember the time you tried to go down the chimney? Yeah. What the fuck is he on? He said he's on mushrooms, but I don't know. How many mushrooms did you take, Ricky? Not many. They must have been powerful ones. All right, we're going to talk about some Christmas traditions, I guess. Let's do it. I love Christmas traditions.

South Africa, on Christmas Day, they eat deep-fried caterpillars. Oh, my. Of the emperor moth. God. That's what they do there. Fuck off. I bet you they're good. On Christmas Day?

Christmas Day. Yeah. What's the story there, do you they're good. Ugh. On Christmas Day? Christmas Day. Yeah. What's the story there? Do you fucking fuck? Don't know. They wouldn't do it if it wasn't good. Little protein bites. They'd be good for your muscles, Julian.

The fuck is that? Fuck. They eat caterpillars, huh? They eat caterpillars. Deep fried. They deep fry them, eat them up, man. Where is this at? South Africa, man.

I find that hard to believe. No, all this stuff is shitty. It's almost like an onion ring, but shaped differently. It's more like a matzo stick. Yeah, except it's not got matzo in it. What kind of sauce do they have, Julian? I don't fucking know. I bet you they use honey mustard.

Honey mustard is a good sauce, I think. Honey mustard's not a bad sauce, Randy. One deep fried pepperoni, Ricky? Mmm. Holy fuck. Maybe we should get Ricky to the hospital. No, no, I think he's... He's having some beef jerky.

I just need to eat. Hey, Ricky. Hmm? For the people out there that don't know the history of Christmas, maybe you could just tell everybody how the first Christmas happened. Yeah, I know how it happened, Bubz. What's the history behind Christmas, Ricky? You know this, Ricky.

Don't give him any hints. I know it. It's not the one where he got killed... and raised up again. It was the Bont day. Yeah, so what was it? I think it was the year... 1280.

1280? And the... the couple was going through a desert. Who was? Some couple. And the couple was going through a desert. Who was? Some couple. And she fucking, her water blew. And there it was.

Little Santa, Jesus God. He's born. All right, so they're walking through the desert. She lost her water. And there he was. And there we go. I didn't know it was quite like that. The sand of Jesus God was born on the sand. That was a full moon.

No, there was a manger, for freak's sakes. I think it was a blue moon. And people went to it and found him. Brought him some shit. Do you remember what they brought him? I think gold. Yeah. And bread and wine. Yeah, you gotta eat.

They brought, yeah, bread and wine to the newborn baby. They got that in him. Side of beef. A side of beef. No, there was myrrh or something in there. Oh, and frankenship. Yeah, and myrrh. Myrrh and frankenship.

And a side of beef, the Christmas side of beef. And they laid him, they laid the baby, Jesus. Jesus God on the side of beef to bake in the sun. No, he was in the manger. The manger thing. What is a manger, Randy? That's what they put the beef in, probably. It's like a sunshade.

Manger. He was in a manger sunshade. Mange, I don't know what mange is. Manger. He was in a manger sunshade. Mange. I don't know what mange is. Mange. So a manger. Mange is where you get all dirty and, you know, your hair gets all matted together, I believe.

They put him in something dirty? A manger. Sounds like it. Who in the fuck brings an unpopped bag of popcorn to a party? I brought this stuff in protein bars. I brought the jerky too. This was good, that bad. Oh, but for Julian, cause Julian's... It's no good. It expired. It's no good, man. It's fine. Ricky, you got any booze over there? You should get some liquor in you, man. You're fucked. You gotta get some energy going,, man. You're fucked.

You got to get some energy going, man. He's doing good. 16% fiber, Julian. You got to keep regular. Fiber helps you move. You eat your fucking bar then, okay? Oh, I got that. I've been eating other things.

All right, check this out. In Japan, another Christmas thing. They got sushi in Japan, Julian. The KFC, they had this like advertising campaign going on. It was so successful that many Japanese family now eat KFC on Christmas Eve, which is what we do as well. Check that out. Why do they do it? Because of this advertising campaign they went on in 1974.

Everybody's like, well, wow. That's a good time to fucking eat chicken. And they started. I always knew you were from Japan. Huh? Woo! Woo! Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo.

Woo! Ha-ha-ha. I don't believe that. The Japanese don't eat chicken on Christmas Eve, do they? That's what it seems. I don't believe that. The Japanese don't eat chicken on Christmas Eve, do they? I don't know, man. Just trying to get some Christmassy things going here. Well, I mean, I can tell you everything you need to know about Christmas. I know all the Christmas stuff.

The Germans, they hide a... The kids hide a pickle in the Christmas tree. Or the parents hide it. They do hide a pickle. You heard of that one before? Yes, the Germans. The Germans do that. They used to hide sour cream. I'd be careful playing that game.

What's that? What if it wasn't a pickle when you reach for it? So you think there's some naked dude hiding in the tree with his wang hanging out in the wreck ready to go. Could be. Could be a funny game. Could be. The Germans, you know.

The Germans do some. Possibly. They all hide the fake pickle in the Christmas tree naked German fellow trick. Well, you can't get into a tree. How would you get in the tree? Oh, I could fit you in there, eh? It could be done.

Don't tempt me. I could put you in that tree. What? Get it? No, man. Listen, let's get out of here. You're Santa. It's freaking me out a little bit.

Hey, Ricky. Do you know what they do in, um... Do you know what they do in Zimbabwe for Christmas? Is that the country where they stick something up their rectum? No, but what's that story now? I don't know. I read it in a skin mag. In a skin mag? There's a country where their Christmas thing

is to stick something up somebody's rectum? I believe, I forget, man. You guys, you know, when you reach a certain age, you should go to the doctor and he does that to make sure your prostate's okay. Thanks for that, Randy. Thank you. That's very nice, Randy. They you. That's very nice Randy.

They call it the finger test. Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't hurt. Oh. They do it really real quick. They can tell if it's bad real quick. Can they?

Yeah. Doctors smart people. So you had that done did ya? I go every year and have that done. Okay, all right, that's good news. So tell us, Randy. Glad to hear that you get fingered once a year, Randy. By a doctor.

By a doctor. Of course. Yeah, and is the doctor... Is the doctor drunk with a fake costume on? No, he's down at the clinic. Okay, well... What did you ask for for Christmas anyway? What are you gonna get? I'm gonna get... well, I have a whole bunch of things. Ricky! What the freak?

Ricky, what are you doing here? Just trying to have a little Christmas fun. Don't know if I can get it all worked out. You can't shoot people with staples, Ricky. It hurts. Mm-hmm. Did he staple you, Randy? Yeah! Ricky.

Ricky stapled Randy. I gave you some stuff here, for frick's sakes. What does Christmas mean to you, you piece of shit? It's a time to be with people that you love. Why are you here? Well, I just came here just to give you guys, you know, some Christmas presents and stuff. It's not a lot, but it's the thought that counts at Christmas.

It is, but I know those chips came out of my shed. They didn't come out of your shed. Well, I had a bag of chips. They went missing. That's the kind I Well, I had a bag of chips. They went missing. That's the kind I had. I did not steal the chips. Anyway, I think Christmas time should be fun and should be nice.

And I'm glad to see that everyone's got the spirit here, except for Julian. That's a good answer. I will have the spirit on Christmas Day. I promise you guys that, okay? Up until then, it's fucking stressful. I'm gonna get going then. I'm trying my best. I've got a bunch of Christmas things I talked about.

People eating caterpillars. Christmas shower, don't forget, Randy. Okay, I'll take this tip. You don't want the tips? Well, no, leave them here. They're fine. You want this stuff there? Yeah. Alright, I'll...

Julian, I'll bring you some good protein bars. Please. Ones that are, like, you can eat, edible ones. Okay. Like, spirited ones. Alright, I got everything. See you later, guys. See you, Randy.

Merry Christmas. Let us know how your prostate works out. Have fun getting fingered. We gotta get him down to the fucking emergency room. Well, no, we gotta get some booze in him. Gotta get some, like, straight liquor, not this stuff he's mixing with Tang. Ricky, do you want some straight liquor? Alright, does he have straight liquor here?

I don't know. We'll have to go down to the liquor store. Well, this wasn't much of a Christmas podcast. I'm sorry, boss. You're grumpy. You should have planned it out a little bit better. You should have checked out with everybody's schedules before fucking planning it.

Well, I couldn't help it. I was in the Christmas spirit. You're gonna have a nap, are you, Ricky? No, I'm good. You guys just keep talking. Here. Just let him pass up and let's put some decorations on him. All right. Where are they?

All right, see you, bubs. Take it easy, bud. Yeah, I'm out of here, Julian. I'm out of here, bud. Don't wake him up. Mmm. Mmm. Mm. It's like playing Christmas Jenga.

Oh, yeah, man. Check that rate on a unit. OK, we're gonna... ..get Some popcorn. This way. Put that like that. Do you know what a Christmas explosion is? Yeah, your mom used to give me one every year. This way. I don't know what I'm here.

This is kind of fun, pups. Okay, now watch this. This is a Christmas explosion. You just yell at them. What are you gonna do, shoot yourself? No. Oh, my fucking... Okay, ready? Ricky, get out the house, stop fire! Christmas explosion!

Alright, I'll cross. Alright, man, I'll get drunk with you later. I gotta go. Alright. Christmas explosion, Ricky. Alright, man. Thank you.