Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 126 - Suck My Pokemon

Episode Date: January 15, 2018

The Boys are back for their first fully-conscious podcash of 2018!  They talk about their New Year’s Resolutions (Ricky has already blown his), and Bubbles introduces some new segments for the new year, including one for the kitties! Episode 126 is brought to you by the official Trailer Park Boys Store, SwearNet.com (the only place to watch the video of this podcash), Liquormen's Ol' Dirty Canadian Whisky, and the Boys' own Freedom 35 lager!

Welcome to the Trailer Perk Boys podcast, brought to you in perkboysswearingit.com, the only place where you can see the video version of this podcast. Nice one. And go to trailerperkboysmerch.com and check out some merch, buy some stuff, please. They sponsor us too. What about the beer and the liquor? I was just getting to that, Richard. Also sponsored by Freedom 35, Drink the Dream, and Leckerman's all-dirty Canadian whiskey.

And a new beer is born. Try my new Ricky's Catch-23 malt liquor. It's stronger than you are. Okay, boys. Pay attention. To what? To me. I'm feeling fucking a lot better today than last week.

How do we hear? We were fucked. And I'm sending an investigation team to find out what the fuck happened with Steve. Because I'm not... Something was fucking up. It just collapsed, Ricky. Well, I was sore for two fucking days after that. I can't believe you can even remember what that fucking happened.

I don't. I saw the fucking... I saw the tape. It was a bad one. Okay. Right. Brand new year. New year.

Happy New Year. Did we say it last time or were we too fucked up? What? Happy New Year. No, we didn't. Happy New Year. Happy New Year, everyone. Happy New Year. Happy New Year, everyone. Happy New Year. If you don't know, it's 2018, or 2018, as they like to say.

Yeah. New Year's resolution, I'm off the liquor. Why? Just, that's my New Year's resolution. That's it? Alright. That's beer. Oh, liquor, so you're alright. I'm off the liquor.

Why would you do that? Because I get too fucked up. All right. Beer, I just have a nice beer every now and then. Well, I'm off the beer. No, you're not off. You're never going to be off the beer. And, Bubz, you know what? I've got something for you.

I've got a little gift. I ordered something. You're not going to be off the liquor once you get this little gift. Julian, you're actively trying to ruin my fucking... Not ruin it. You just got to pace yourself, and I've got something for you. It's in the mail. I ordered it on Amazon.

You're going to get it. You're going to be happy. You can't order liquor on Amazon. It's not liquor. This is a tool. It's going to help you out. You're a tool. How come it's only 2018 if there was, like, millions of years? Because it flopped over at year one, Ricky. 2018 years ago, that's when they started sort of recording time or whatever.

They were just too dumb before that? Or no paper? Hmm. Well, it wasn't either of those. I mean, but, you know, in 200 B.C., they weren't walking around going, it's 200 B.C., we're counting down to the big zero. 200 British Columbia? Before Christ is what it's supposed to be.

It's the minus. It's like the minus years. So once, you know, he came, then they started the, you know, let's start the clock officially, and that was 2,118 years ago. Did he really come? I don't know, Ricky. How am I supposed to know that? It's a tough thing to figure out, Rick. It's just, it started at zero that day.

I believe there was probably a fella named that that was a carpenter, yeah. But did he, you know, just go poof and everything's there? I don't know. So all of a sudden one guy goes one day, you know what, from now on, we're starting. Pretty much. So the first year would have been just zero, would it? I don't know how that works. If they went from zero to one at the first year or they just said zero, would it? I don't know how that works. If they went from zero to one, it's the first year, or they just said, okay, it's year one.

Well, they kind of got us started zero, because then 200 pieces... So if you signed a check back then, if you were hanging out with Jesus on the day, he said, okay, we're starting the clock. You sign a check, zero. Or would you put one? They didn't have checks back then.

If they did. No, why would they have checks back then? If a newspaper came out, what would you put one? They didn't have checks back then. If they did. No, they... Why would they have checks back then? If a newspaper came out, what would the date say? And they didn't have newspapers back then. I'm not saying they did. We're saying if they... If you had checks,

like a stone tablet check. Why would you even say that? The Flintstones had checks. They didn't... The Flintstone writes checks. The Flintstone, that's a cartoon. I've seen them.

Okay, you're acting like Ricky right now. Smarten the fuck up. I know what that sounds like. It's a helicopter. It's a B-2, B-2, or a World War II bomber. It's one of those spy helicopters. It's a fucking helicopter. Sounds like a, sounds like the blitzkrieg is about to happen.

It's making things shake and shit, eh? It's awfully low. and shit, eh? It's awfully low. I've never had a chopper go over like that low before. Hope it's not this one. Okay, do you want to get this dirt? Let's get this dirt. Okay. What's going on, fuckers? This is the official Turtler Prep Boys podcast coming at you right now. January 12th. This is podcast episode...

Tell them who you are. They know who the fuck I am. Well, who are you today? What are you talking about? My new glasses? Yeah. I got those for Christmas. What, you don't like them? Well, if you're trying to be one of the guys from Chips, I do.

What are you talking about, man? They're kind of Chipsy. Which guy from Chips are you? The guy with the nice teeth? shiny punch punch he's the undercover officer it's dressed up as a longshoreman i would have been a good fucking cop i think if i had been a cop i would have been a good one dirty cop all right this is episode 126 i'll take off the fucking cop sheets. Let's go. Let's get it going. 126. What does that stand for? It's the 126th time we've done this, Ricky.

Let's get them. So you don't have any New Year's resolutions? I made some that I've already broken. Okay. I'm trying to think of any that I've what ones did you have that you know got broken? I was gonna give up smoking during weekdays But I was too fucked up to cope with it so I got fucked up first day first first Monday Okay, well good try At least you made one.

I actually was supposed to give up smoking, cigarettes, and drinking during the week. And you broke both of those? You got drunk and had a cigarette. I fucked up. Well, you could try again. And I'm trying not to eat too much shit. What kind of shit? Like deep fried pepperoni at 2 a.m., chicken wings at 3 a.m., that sort of stuff.

Pizza don't air, it's the middle of the night. So you're going to try to eat during the day, like a normal person? Yeah, I guess I'm not going to try to eat better, just earlier. Okay, that's all right. That's a good start. That's pretty good, Ricky.

I've only broke that one once so far, so I'm doing okay with that one. Yeah, that's not bad. You got a fucking... When you got a deep fryer in your bedroom and a little deep freeze, it's fucking hard to control sometimes. You wake up and you're like, fuck.

Six chicken wings might be pretty good right now. Some nice little dipping sauces. A little dipping sauces. A little blue cheese. Here's a question for you. When was the last time you cleaned your fucking bed sheets? I don't usually clean them. Rick, you've got to clean them, man.

No. You just buy new ones once a month. You've got fucking grease all over them. There's fucking barbecue sauce, sweet and sour sauce. I don't always eat in bed. It looks like a butcher shop in your bedroom. You've got to clean your sheets, man. I don't need to filter on the deep fryers

working as well either because there's definitely grease on the ceiling that's starting to drip a little. That's fucking disgusting. That's awful, Ricky. Your bedroom's like an old 50s diner. Well, normally if I'm, you know, with anybody, I'll just take them out to the car.

The living room's pretty clean. Did you ever think of, like, maybe taking a scraper to the ceiling? I'm gonna have to, or repaint. Get rid of some fat? You can't just paint over the fat. You can't paint over grease, man. That's what primer's for, isn't it?

No, it's not for painting over fucking chicken fat. It goes over nicotine stains pretty good. But it's not, it's like, it's fat. It's a... It's a... It's a fat and a substance. It's oily. You can paint it and then scrape it off and it'll look like shit. Fuck.

It might look like a nice, like a nice fresco. It so fucking won't look nice, man. It might be like a nice technique to use. You should maybe, if you could figure out a way to get it cleaned, I could give you some stuff. What do you have for New Year's resolutions? Yeah. All right. And I've been sticking to it.

Going to be more positive this year. Every day, try to wake up feeling positive. More positive. There we go. And this is my year to make money, man. This is my year to fucking cash in. And all these other shitty years of my life. That's a new one.

Jesus. I think it's going to happen. You're going to turn over a new leaf. Well, if you guys want to be part of it, you know. Your year to make money. Fuck my tits with somebody else's something. Fuck. What happened?

I spilled my liquor drink. Well just clean it up. Okay boys so I said there was gonna be some new stuff. Fuck. Rubber doesn't really absorb anything. Use it as a squeegee. What is that? Rubber glove. Fuck man. Why would a rubber glove sop up liquid? Well, the outside keeps liquid out. I thought the inside might take liquid in. But nope. This isn't very good either.

What is it? It's a dish rag with holes in it. Where's that towel? Why is there a towel in your fucking sink? Can I borrow your hair dryer, bubs? No, I need my hair dryer. I just got my new hair dryer for Christmas. Remind me when I take a shower.

Look how neat my hair looks. That's from my new hair dryer. Towels cover it. Crease it over a lot better now. I was going to say how good you look today, but I thought you might think it was weird. No, I got nice crease going. Keeps it creased down.

I got one of those Dyson hair dryers. Oh, yeah, those are fucking cool. Using some gel in there now? I don't use gel. You got it coming back this way in the back a little bit. Yeah, I got a little... See that little swirl there? It looks like there's grease in there, man.

No, it's not grease. You use bacon fat, don't you? There's some kind of a product in there, I think. Yeah, bacon fat. I don't use product. That's bacon, man. It's not grease. Use bacon fat, don't you? There's some kind of a product in there, I think. Yeah, bacon fat. I don't use product. That's bacon, man. It's not bacon fat. I don't put fucking bacon fat in my hair.

Whatever it is, it's fucking gross. Or is it some of that other stuff? No, it's not. Something about Margaret. It's not that, Ricky. I don't put that in my hair. Okay, so I said there was going to be a new segment. All right, I like these segments. I think what I'm gonna do... As long as I don't have to think.

Starting next week, I am going to be selecting a kitty of the week. What do you mean? I'm gonna... I want people to send in just quick little clips of their cats doing tricks or being cute or doing whatever. And I'm gonna pick one. I might, I might be able to get some kitties for the Super Cats Cat Show. How will you hear the, how will you hear how cute they are though? Well, you'll be able to see it. Well, if you can't see it. Well, they gotta send pictures or video to this address right here. You got that? It's

blog.swearinit.com slash kitty. blog.swearinit.com slash kitty. Send in your quick little viddy. And you will win. What will you win? Well, I don't know if there's even a prize yet. A date with Bubbles. No, Ricky, I can't do that. What if somebody win? Well, I don't know if there's even a prize yet. A date with Bubbles.

No, Ricky, I can't do that. What if somebody sends one in from New Zealand? I can't go to New Zealand to go on a date. You'll have to fly them here. I can't fly somebody in every week just because they sent a cool cat picture. Well, you should fly somebody in. But I would like to be able to look at all the kitties

from all the people around the world. That's it right there. Blog.SwearNet.com slash kitty. Send in your quick. And don't send big hour long fucking VHS tapes. Because I won't have time to watch them and I'll get addicted. Because I will watch them. But just send in quick ones with a picture. Kitty of the week.

And if something is extraordinary, I'll look at putting them in the Supercats cat show next year. Send in their meows, too, so the people who can't see this will be able to hear something at least. Okay, well, I mean, I'll be describing them. You should get a present for the most fucked meow. Okay, if anybody's got a fucked meow kitty. And people should probably send in donations for these kitties that we can, you know, maybe help them out, get them some cat food or something. Oh, yeah, that's great, Julian, I'm sure.

Make those out to Ricky. Send you money. It's a little prize. Yeah, send you money to get cat food. I can imagine you'll spend it on that. Maybe some cigarettes. And some liquor. Just pictures.

Kitty of the week. Starting next week. Cigarettes. That's one thing we're gonna do. And then I thought we could play a game. Alright, is it heard? Could be. Then no.

It's called... It's called Guess That Sound. Okay, how do you play? I play a sound and you guys try to guess what it is. Great. I think that's decent. That's a decent game. It could be fun if it's easy. Okay, are you ready?

Ah, for fuck's sakes. Here we go. Look at this. Ready? Here's sound number one. Sounds a lot like your mum when she's around. Julian, that's not true. That's an animal, some kind of an animal, right? It's either... A goose? I'm going to vote a camel that is getting banged by another camel.

He got it. No, it wasn't. He got ya. Camel's having sex. Shut up. Are you kidding me? No, it isn't. No, I'm just joking. Okay, that would have been amazing. It's a goat with the shits? No, it isn't. No, I'm just joking. Okay. I would have been amazed. It's a goat with the shits.

No, it isn't. Yeah, it's a goat with the shits. It's a goat with the shits. It's a goat with the shits. A goat with the shits. It does sound like a goat with the shits. Well, that's what it was. Oh, okay.

Decent, eh? No, this game is fucked. No, it's not. It's great. Here. Want to do another one? One more. Here, let me just see. Here. This one's a good one.

You guys should be able to get this. All right. This is old school. This is going back to when we were kids. That's a fucking... It's when you die But what's it fucking on? Dig Dug Mario Brothers

Mario Brothers ColecoVision It is on It's on there On ColecoVision It's not Pac-Man Q-Bert? No

Oh fuck Fuck I know that I remember it on ColecoVision Come on boys Dig Dug Pac-Man Too many fucking drugs Oh, fuck, I know that. I remember it on ColecoVision. Ah. Come on, boys. Tink, dog, tack, man. Too many fucking drugs. It's not Mario Brothers?

Oh, Donkey Kong. It's Donkey Kong. It's fucking Donkey Kong. Motherfucker. That's when a barrel hits him. This game's making me fucking mad and violent. Doesn't he spin around? Fuck. Okay, just wait.

I'm staying in this theme. Alright, this is fun. Keep it going. Rich, just calm down. I love it. Okay, just watch. Pac-Man. Come on. Give us something a little harder, bud. Okay, just wait now. That's Pac-Man. That's Pac-Man.

How about this one? Ugh. What the fuck is that? Do it again. Do it. Hmm? Ha ha ha ha. Hmm? Sounds like someone jumping off a building. No, it's from the TV. It's from a game show. Game show.

From a game show. Come on, you've watched it a million times. Card shark. Card shark. Not card shark. Price is fucked? It's not the price is fucked. Come on, you've watched it a million times. Stock card, Sheriff. Price is fucked? It's not the price is fucked. Come on, you've watched it a million times. You used to pull your wiener to...

I must have been a sexy host. Price is right. No. You used to pull your wiener to Bob Barker? Wow. I'm trying to guess it, but there's a lot of nice-looking ladies. You used to pull your wiener to this? Who has? Wheel of your mother. Right there nice-looking ladies. You pull your wiener to that side. Who has Wheel of Your Mother?

Right there. Vanna. Wheel of Fortune. Wheel of Your Mother. Vanna White. Wheel of Fortune. Julian used to do it to Bob Barker. Oh, yeah, the six copies of that Playboy.

It didn't even really show much. Who was that? Who, Vanna White? Yeah. Oh, she was in Playboy, yeah. Was she? Fuck yeah. I don't remember that.

Yes, you do. Yes, you do, buddy. Here, see if you can tell me what this is. Listen. It's a lion. It's a lion. It's not. You're doing some fucking. It's not. You'd think it is,. It's not.

It's not. You'd think it is, but it's not. Brachiosaurus. Sounded like a kitty purr at the end there. No, you know what it is? Listen one more time. You won't believe it. If Randy didn't eat for three days, that's the noise that would come out.

It's a pressure microphone, one of those flat microphones, pressed on Randy's gut. I fucking knew it. That's what it is. It's a PGM microphone. I recorded that. That is fucked. That's Randy's gut, the inside of it, the sound of it, when he's hungry. I thought that was pretty decent. All right. That was a pretty fun game.

I thought so. Well done. Okay, what do you got, Julian? You said you were going to have a new segment, too. I did mine. It was awesome. Who said I didn't say I was going to have a new segment? Yeah, you were bragging that you were going to have a new thing.

I got a fuck story. We were talking about video games there. You got a fuck story? Who'd you fuck? What? You said you had a fuck story. Oh, did I say that? Yeah.

You said, I have a fuck story. I have a few, but I'm not going to tell you. All right, here we go. There's this woman. She plans, fuck off, to marry this Tetris video game after a failed relationship with a calculator. This is for real, man. What the fuck are you talking about?

This chick is from Orlando. She's a university student. She fell in love with a fucking calculator, and she brought it in to get a routine cleaning, and the thing got fucked over, so she hopped on board with this little Tetris video game. What do you mean she fell in love with it? She's in love with it, man.

It's some kind of a fucked-up condition. Like saying, like, oh, my new computer. I love my new computer. I've said that. For a year. And she rammed the thing in her, probably. And did dirty stuff with it. And now she's doing it with a Tetris.

It's the same size game. What? Yeah. Man, that's really fucked up. I thought you were fucked. Corey was fucked. Objectophilia is the condition. Objectophilia.

Sexually attracted and in love with inanimate fucking objects. That is a weird one. That is a weird one. If you were going to fall in love with something inanimate, Ricky, what would it be? Well, I'd definitely choose a sex toy over a calculator or something, I would think. I thought you were going to say weed or something. Oh, well, yeah. A weed sex toy. That's the kind of you'd be

into a weed sex toy? I don't know man. I've never really thought about getting married to an object. What kind of object would you be down with Buzz? I wouldn't be because I'm not fucked. I'm not fucked so I wouldn't fall in love with an inanimate object. What about a gun? It Wouldn't be a bad partner to have. It's a risky one. Yeah, it could fuck you over, I guess. Yeah. Ricky.

Well, people are banging these things, man. This Tetris game right here has been inside this woman. This one right here. How wide is it? I don't know. It's like a handheld thing, so she's got a pretty big opening down there. Does it say that she was doing that? Yes, man, she's banging a fucking Tetris machine.

And she plans on marrying it when she graduates from university. See, this is what they're, like, that's a university student. It's all smart. To each their own. Maybe she's on to something that we don't fucking know about. I don't know, I've never tried banging or necking with a calculator. Maybe it's good. He's going to be rambling this up his ass.

I guarantee it. What was that, guys? You were talking about banging a fucking game. I've never tried it, so... So you will try it. Ricky, don't get your wiener stuck in the PlayStation. I won't. I'm going to get it fucked up, and I'll talk to it and see if it talks back to me first.

See if I can fall in love with it. So you're actively going to try to fall in love with her? I think I need to do an experiment, because it makes no fucking sense to me. It's the weirdest thing I've ever heard. There's got to be a reason for it. She's on to something. What if she fell in love with one of the big stand-up Tetris machines with the big, you know, the control knob on it? She'd have to...

That would make more sense. Well, it would make more sense instead of taking the handheld thing. I mean, that's a weird shape. Does it have a joystick on it? No, just buttons, man. She must, like, kiss the screen and shit and then... I don't know. You've been thinking hard about this, Jewel.

Well, it's fucked up, man. I can't believe this shit's happening. Yeah, I don't get anything that fucked. Well, there you go. You've done some pretty fucked things, Ricky. But yes, I agree, nothing that fucked. I've never heard of you ramming a Tetris machine up your ass. No.

Lockily. What's the weirdest thing you've ever banged? What? He's talking to you. To me? Bubs? Come on, Bubs. Talking to you? I don't bang things. Come on.

I'm talking about. Bubs, you've banged people. I mean, it's normal. To bang inanimate objects. When you're young, yeah. I ain't banged anything like that. What did you bang if it's so normal? Nothing. Well, you said it's so normal.

No, I'm just saying I've read a lot of books about this kind of shit, and it's just normal, man. So you read a lot of books, do you, about fellas banging inanimate objects? No, man. It's just, you know, it happens. What have you banged, Ricky? Nothing. Just people. It's just, you know, it happens. What have you banged, Ricky? Uh, nothing. Just people.

Ricky, clearly you have. When I was younger, I tried some weird shit, okay? Every person probably does. I knew it, see? It's normal. Doesn't matter. Why? I don't want to get into it.

Name one thing. An apple pie, just like in the movie. Watch that movie. Everyone's done that. Just, you gotta find out after. I've never banged a pie before. So you banged because of the movie? Yeah.

Just like this calculator thing. Yeah, this calculator. We gotta get Chipper to follow him around for the rest of the day. Remember when Cory had the shop vac stuck on his wiener? Yes. That was a weird one. It wasn't just his wiener. It was his whole unit went in.

Got his sack and everything. Sack and everything. Everything was down in there. Could have been bad. What kind of noise did it make? You used to... You could do that noise. It went...

That's the last thing I remember. I just don't understand why he just didn't turn it off. He did, Ricky. It was off, but once... I mean, once you sealed it, there, there's no, you know... What'd you cut it off with? He didn't cut it off. Oh, no, the hose I did.

Yeah. I had to cut the plastic part off, and then we tucked, like, a broom handle and put it through and shoved it out. That's all you could do, really. So? That was a weird day. Oh, I did find that.

Remember how fucked up we got on New Year's? Mm-hmm. Well, there was somebody in the world that was more fucked than we were, believe it or not. This fucking idiot in Florida was driving around, wasted, and probably on other shit. And he actually called 911 on himself

and said, I'm too fucked up to be driving. Come and get me. But instead of pulling over, he just kept driving around. He said he was driving around fucking for two hours trying to get pulled over because he was too fucked up and needed to get arrested. Oh, my God. I've never been that fucked.. He was too fucked up needed to get arrested. Oh my god. It's fucked

I've never been that fucked and when I drive fucked up. I'm not that fucked up What I don't know why didn't he just pull over and go to sleep you said he was too drunk to pull over yeah Too drunk to pull over I said where are you? I don't know too drunk to pull over. I said, where are you? He said, I don't know. Too drunk. That's a fuck-up.

Yeah, he could have killed somebody, the stupid bastard. They should take his license from him. Then they finally found him. He was just parked right in the middle of the road waiting for them. That sounds like something you would do, Ricky. You know what? When I first heard it, I thought it was fucked,

and I was like, I might try that one of these New Year's Eve's. No, you're not, Ricky. You don't need to be driving around all fucked up. I'm not going to drive on busy roads, just private country roads or something. It doesn't matter. Just fuck around. Doesn't matter. It's not like it used to be, Ricky. You can't do that anymore. You can't drive around drunk on country roads.

I guess it's a good thing. I don't know. Like we used to. It probably is a good thing. I don't know. Like we used to. It probably is a good thing. Yes, it is a good thing. Do you think there's less deaths and shit because of it? Yes. There's less deaths because of less drinking and driving, of course. There's commercials all the time about it. I guess it's good for the camera.

We should make a commercial for drinking and driving and putting him in it. I guess it's good for the cab drivers. We should make a commercial for drinking and driving and put him in it. I bet that's who fucking started this whole drinking and driving bullshit, was the fucking cab drivers. Getting pissed off they weren't making enough money. What do you mean, started all the bullshit? You know what, fuck this, we're gonna go to the cops and get them to start saying you can't drink and drive anymore and we'll be millionaires.

It was never legal, Ricky. That's not how it went down, man. It was never legal to drink and drive. Well, I wasn't always frowned upon. Well, I might have to disagree with that. This is fucked. You know how women, like, bleach their... Their holes?

Vagina? Well, their ass. Their ass. What do you mean they bleach it? They bleach it. That's a big thing now. The hair or the... No, the skin.

They bleach the skin. What? For what reason? Put bleach on your hole. Yeah, they go in and get it bleached out because, you know... Doesn't it burn? I don't fucking know. Yes, it would fucking burn.

Bleach. You might as well put turpentine up there. It's a big thing in Hollywood. Yes, it would fucking burn. Anyway. Bleach. You might as well put turpentine up there. It's a big thing in Hollywood. Like, chicks are bleaching their asses. What's it called? Bleaching your ass. But what's the purpose of it? It's good because, you know, if they want to twerk or bend over, like, you know, especially dancers.

What color is it normally? It's like a brownish kind of reddish. It's all different colors, man. That's what I'm saying. But when, I mean, when you get her bleached, what is it? You got like a white hole? It's like kind of, I guess, yeah. It's kind of skin. Is it for sex? Is it just for look? It's for look.

Is it whiter than your regular skin? So you got like a white. No, it's about the same. I don't know. I'm not a fucking expert on this, Bob. It's like a target. Anyway, entirely and it's huge, right? Can they bleach other things? What? Can you bleach other things? This is what I'm not a fucking expert on this, Bob. It's like a target. Anyway, in Thailand, it's huge, right? Can they bleach other things? What? Can you bleach other things? This is what I'm getting into.

Ricky, if you start dipping your sock in bleach, I'm going to fuck you. That's what they're doing in Thailand. It's the biggest thing going on down there now. Come on. They're bleaching their socks? Men are fucking bleaching their cock and balls. I can't. Fuck.

I don't think that would feel great. I don't. It wouldn't, Ricky. There's no theory to it. What's the reason? They use a Pikachu laser on their groin region. A what? Pikachu's a fucking...

It sounds like a... Yeah, like the... He's a Pokemon. No. Pokemon is slang for penis in Thailand. Didn't know that one. Wait, there's too much information coming at me here. I'm going to start using it.

All right. Pikachu means penis in Thailand. It's slang for penis in Thailand. I thought Pokemon was. Pokemon? What Pokemon? Whatever the fuck it is. It's little characters that are...

You guys want to take a look? So we kicked him in the Pokemon. Take a look at my Pokemon? Yeah. Suck my Pokemon. That sounds like you're from Jamaica. Suck my Pokemon. That sounds like you're from Jamaica. Suck my Pokemon. My Pokemon.

But yeah, that's what's happening. Guys are going in, getting their shafts and their balls. I'm going to try it. Fuck it. What does it do to you? Ricky, you're not. Is it just for looks? Self-bleaching your wiener.

Maybe it makes you younger. Just awaiting it, man. So it takes... On dark parts... Yeah, on the dark parts of their fucking groin region. That's where they're getting it done.

So it takes years off your penis. So Thailand people, they got pretty dark skin. Yeah, they'll have... So they rip down their pants and they got a big, stark white wiener.

It's like an albino cock and balls. I wonder if it makes it better or bigger. I don't think it does anything like that. It wouldn't make it better, Ricky. Smaller, if anything.

It's gonna shrink it. Bleach. So Clorox. You're talking about bleach. Bleach it right out, man. And your hole. Wow. Do men do holes as well or just women? Why wouldn't they? I mean... I guess some dudes want like a nice boy's hole.

Well, Julian, you had some really weird shit today. Just saying, it's been a weird year so far, guys. I don't know what you were searching to come up with that, but anyway. Did you hear about the flight that got diverted? It was going to China and they had to divert to Alaska because some fucking lunatic smeared shit all over both the bathrooms and tried to flush his shirt down the toilet. No. Yeah, that'd be a good plane to be on.

What happened? He smeared his shit all over both bathrooms and then flushed his shirt down one toilet and something else down another toilet, so there was no toilets. What is wrong with those people? What was his buddy's name in jail? He used to do that like every fucking day. What was it, Jimmy?

I don't get the shit smearing. It's weird. So where was the flight going to? It was going from the U.S. over to China, but they had to divert to Alaska. Clean up the fucking bathrooms, I guess. Did they beat the shit out of the guy? They actually didn't even charge him after talking to him, which is fine.

That guy needed a good meal. So what, maybe he just had the violent shits and then tried to cover up his tracks. Maybe it's not his fault. What, he exploded all over the walls, you mean? It's happened. Wow. We were on a plane, remember? We were on a plane one time

and the woman come out and she was all horrified and we said, are you alright? She said, yeah, somebody exploded in the bathroom. There's shit right on the ceiling, she said. Jesus Christ. So I don't know. I've had some explosions, but nothing with that kind of power. No, I'm just saying it could be.

There was another plane divert. Because it was flying from, like, Los Angeles to Japan or something, and it was almost there. It was over halfway there. And they figured out one of the people on the plane got on the wrong flight. So they turned around. I'd be pissed. To take them home.

I'd be fucking pissed. They should have just thrown them out of the fucking plane. They should have just kept going and then said, Okay, ding-dong, you got in the wrong plane, get the fuck back home. That's what I think. That's really fucked up. I got to get another beer, boys.

All right. All right. Is that it? Are we done? I think. I just want to reiterate. What does that mean? Kitty of the week.

What is re? Restate. Blog.swearnet.com slash kitty. Send me your kitty pics and kitty videos. And meows. And donations. And booze. Cigarettes.

And next week, you guys have to... I'm going to get a better sound... Get that sound going. All right, next week I'm going to... I don't know, I'm not going to make any promises. But I might have some stuff. I might be really fucking good next week. Or you might not be.

I guess you'll have to tune in. I don't really give a fuck. Watch this, boys. Watch this new sign off. What does that mean? Well, they can't hear us now, Ricky, because I just ended the show. Nobody can hear us now. Nobody can see us. It's over. Is it, though?

It's not. Go to the merch store and buy some shit, please. Now it's over. Let's go. you