Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 129 - Super Blood Blue Moon Fever

Episode Date: February 5, 2018

Ricky, Julian, and Bubbles talk about the moon party they had in the trailer park this week, Julian discusses marrying “rich old dragons” for money, and Bubbles picks his kitt(ies) of the week! Episode 129 is brought to you by the official Trailer Park Boys Store, SwearNet.com (the only place to watch the video of this podcash), Liquormen's Ol' Dirty Canadian Whisky, and the Boys' own Freedom 35 lager!

Welcome to the Trailer Perk Boys podcast, brought to you in perkboysswearingit.com, the only place where you can see the video version of this podcast. Nice one. And go to trailerperkboysmerch.com and check out some merch, buy some stuff, please. They sponsor us too. What about the beer and the liquor? I was just getting to that, Richard. Also sponsored by Freedom 35, Drink the Dream, and Lickerman's all-dirty Canadian whiskey.

And a new beer is born. Try my new Ricky's Catch-23 malt liquor. It's stronger than you are. Okay. How you doing, boy? Oh, that was... Oh, look, Jonah. Get your fucking finger out of my drink. It's disgusting. Okay, well... Do your thing.

Do what thing? Do your fucking big... Do your little muscular introduction. Do your muscular... All right, okay. What the fuck's going on, fuckers? It's the official Trailer Prep Boys podcast. It's coming at you right now.

Episode, don't know, but it is February the 2nd, right? It is February 2nd. Friday. Do a little flex down. Fuck, I love the purple Lifesavers. Yeah, they're good. I got one right here. Do a February flex down for us.

No, man, not happening. Come on. The first February of each month is February flex down. What the fuck are you talking about? You know, Julian. No, I don't know what you're talking about. The first February of every month you have a flex down. Yeah, because I do that all the time.

No, you don't. Just the first February of every month. Fuck you, man. Send in your comments, everybody, if you want to have a February flex down. Yeah. No, don't do it. You should do one for Valentine's. Take your shirt off and just do a full 10-minute flex off. Could we do a super Valentine's February flex down?

Bubz, it's not happening. Okay, folks, if you want to see a February Valentine's flex down... That could have fucking happened. ...starring yours truly over there. And then I'll do one if you do one. I won't do one. I'll be fucking... There you go.

I'll be in the shadow. So a couple people sent me some snacks, and they basically said, fuck Moondust, or whatever his name is. Moonbear. Moonbear. Yep. Keisha sent me some fucking chocolates and candy, Fuck Moon Dust, or whatever his name is. Moon Bear. Moon Bear. Yep. Keisha sent me some fucking chocolates and candy, and another couple sent me these delicious,

spicy as fuck things. What are they? I don't know, but they're good. Well, that's... So what are we doing? What are you gonna do? You gonna eat them? I don't know.

I'm asking if I'm allowed. No, Ricky, you can't just eat them. Fuck! I mean, did you sample them? How do you know they're not poison? I don't. I'm allowed. No, Ricky, you can't just eat them. Fuck! I mean, did you sample them? How do you know they're not poison? I don't. I don't give a fuck. You don't care if somebody sent you poison food? My body can fight any kind of poison.

No. Incorrect, Ricky. What if there was cyanide in there? What if a rattlesnake fucking bit you? You're not gonna die if you don't seek treatment, no? Nope. Really? You're impervious to rattlesnake bites now? I think so. I've been bit by snakes before and didn't do anything.

Fucking garter snake. Ricky, they're just little garter snakes. They don't have poison in them. That's what I'm saying. Hmm. No, listen, Ricky, just so we're clear, if we ever go down to Texas or Arizona, anywhere that there's rattlesnakes... Yeah? We cannot get bit by one. I'm not going to go out and say, hey, bite me.

No, but if you see one, I know you'll start fucking with him. Yeah. Taunting him, thinking that if he bites you, it's no big deal. It's not. Yes, it is. It is a big deal. It's not. Yes, it is. It is a big deal. It'll fuck you over, man. My body doesn't work like everybody else's.

It's just got the right amount of chemicals in it that just kills stuff. How do you know? That's why I don't get sick. How do you know this? My dad taught me about it. Oh, wow. Okay, how did he teach you this? I didn't know Dr. Ray taught you, you know.

He just said, I don't want you to be cocky, but just so you know, son, our bodies aren't made up like the rest of the planet. We don't get sick. That's why you have to have enough drugs, enough alcohol. Ricky, how many... Perfect balance with some food and... Yeah, except think of all the times Ray was so sick he almost died. Yeah.

How does that compute into Ray's... Fucked up the balance of alcohol, drugs, and food. It's got to be just perfect. So if you perfect the intake of alcohol, drugs, and food, you become impervious to rattlesnake venom. I don't know about rattlesnake venom, but you don't get sick. And you can drink a bit of bleach and it doesn't kill you. I've done that.

Ricky, anybody listening, do not drink bleach. Do not listen to Ricky. People, Ricky, there's people out there that'll be like, Ricky said to do it, so I'm drinking bleach. He doesn't get sick. What about those Tide Pods? What happens when you eat those? You don't eat them.

There's people eating these things. I know, there's a big challenge going on. They fucking chew on them. Is it like the ice bucket challenge? Way worse. Rick, do you know what a Tide Pod is? No. It's a little plastic thing with highly concentrated fucking clothes washing detergent in it.

It's not like you're taking a little, you know... Does it get you high? No, it makes you... It's sick, it's sick. People are doing these competitions where they're chewing on them. Why? But people think, oh, it's only this much detergent. I can pop that in my mouth.

They don't realize how concentrated it is. That makes sense. I used to get sick eating soap when I was younger. I didn't want to go to school. You fucking take a little big bite of a bar of soap. A bar of soap? Next thing you know, you're throwing up. You weren't eating, you mean a bar, not liquid soap.

We didn't have liquid soap back then. It hadn't been invented. Hmm. Hmm. So you just used to bite off a piece of fucking Irish frank. It's fucking awful. Fucking awful. And they did have liquid soap back then.

Yeah. Restaurants and stuff, they had the pumps. It wasn't as common as it is now jesus julian's a soap didn't realize you were a soap historian it is a good invention no think about it there was a hand pump all over the place especially going to a public bathroom there's a bar of soap there you're like what the been going on with that what do you fuck's been going on with that? Well, what do you think's been going on with it? Well, nasty stuff.

Yeah, taking sponge baths. Cock baths. Do you see a bar of soap in a public bathroom and you assume somebody's rubbed it on their cock? Truck driver. And their ass. And their balls. Yeah. It happens.

It's a full packaged meal deal. And then you've got to take it. I. It happens. Full packaged meal deal. And then you gotta take it. I mean, it's not a big deal. You get all that stuff on your hands when you first touch it, but then I guess you wash it off, but you get down through the layer of whatever the fuck it is on there. It's disgusting, man. I don't remember there being bars of soap in truck stops.

Oh, I do. And they're gross. Oh, I do. And they're gross. Oh, actually, you know what? I do remember. And the problem with you, you don't... You're not able to really look at the soap to see what's going on with it.

You just use it, right? I can... You pick one up and you look underneath it, sometimes you'll find like a pubic hair or something, and it fucking grosses you out. A pube! Yeah. Melted into the soap.

People are lubing themselves up, washing it down. You know, I'm not taking showers. It happens. Listen, I don't know about you, but I've never washed my face with pube soap. Because you didn't see it. I see things just as well as anybody else, believe me.

What was the verdict? Was I allowed to eat these or no? What are they? You can have one, Ricky. It wasn't that loud. That one wasn't loud? What was that? It was this type of nut that I don't know what it is. Hmm, very quiet nut. Shaking the bags a little.

What are the green things in that? What's that? What's the green things? Probably wasabi peas. Wasabi peas? What is a green thing in that? What's that? What's the green things? Probably wasabi peas. Wasabi peas. What is a green thing? Oh, fuck. Have you ever had a wasabi pea?

What's it do to you? Nothing, they're just peas. You eat them? Yeah. Or is it just for decoration? Look, they're not gonna put something for decoration inside the bag and assume that you're not gonna eat it.

They're weird. What is it? Wasabi. It's not a wasabi. Wasabi. It's a Japanese type of mustard. Green mustard. Wasabi. Why is it just called Japanese mustard?

Because it's... they got their own word for it. Wasabi. Now, what's up, P? No. Okay. Oh, fuck, I am. Are you still hungover from the fucking party? Well, I didn't. I'm still feeling traces of it.

I am. Still. It was a lot of... I ingested a lot more hashish. Man, you know what? That was fucking awesome. We should do that every goddamn week. That, you know what? That was fucking awesome. We should do that every goddamn week.

That was one of the best parties we've had. The moon party? Yep. Well, you can't have it, Ricky. That, what we witnessed, the blue moon, super blood moon. Yep. That only happens, Ricky. That was a once in a lifetime, bro.

Fuck off. That's it? That happens once every... That's never going to happen again. 150 years from now, so we could have a, you know, another moon party in like 2048. Well, let's plan it. No, man.

Whatever it would be, 2068. We're not going to live that long, but... You know what freaked me out the most? 2168. When I'm like, boys, like, you guys should get on these mushrooms because to me the moon looks like it's fucking big and red. Well, it was.

I know, but that was the cool part. It was real. It was decent. It was big as fuck. Super blood moon, red moon, blue moon. I thought a blue moon was fake. I didn't know it was real. Blue moon is the second full moon of a month.

Yeah, I didn't know that was a real thing. Yeah, Elvis. Because they always say, oh, once in a blue moon. I'm like, fuck off, blue moon. No, blue moon is, it only happens very rarely, the second full moon in one month. That's why Elvis used to sing it. Blue moon of Kentucky, just to keep on shining. Shine on the moon that's gonna let me bloom.

Anyway, I hope other people got to experience that, because that was fucking... That was one of the coolest nights of my life. Supermoon. You know what a supermoon was. You know why it was the supermoon? What? Ricky. I don't know what that was, but it didn't agree with me.

Well, maybe just stop the chewing. Do you know what the super moon was all about? Do you know why it was a super moon? I'm gonna save my life right now. The moon orbits in an oval shape, so every... Fuck! When it's at its perigee, they call it, when it's closest to the Earth... Okay. It appears to be 14% bigger, 30% brighter.

Is it, or it just appears that way? No, it is. It's not... No, Ricky, it looks bigger because it's closer. It's actually... The moon doesn't actually grow. It'd be cool if it did. Well, no, it would be very bad if it did. If the moon got bigger, it would fuck up the Earth. Oh.

Because there'd be more gravity, different tides. It would be, fuck, the tides would be great. He doesn't understand a fucking word you're saying. I'm glad it doesn't grow then. That's the super moon. And then the blood moon, do you know why it's a fucking blood moon? Why it was red? No.

When you got the sun here. I thought it was mushrooms. No, it wasn't. You got the sun here, you got the earth here, the moon's going around it. When they get lined up right and the moon's on the backside of the earth, it's like a lunar eclipse. Oh, so it was going away and coming back. I thought that was the mushrooms too.

No, you wouldn't have seen it go away and come back. It only does it every... Ricky, you know what? I'm going to tell you the truth, Bubz. I know you told me not to say this to him, but you were passed out during the blue and the red moon, okay? You were looking up and you were like, look, Rick, it's happening right now.

And you're like, oh, yeah. So you didn't actually see it because you were fucked. I remember it. Because you were on mushrooms. You totally missed it, man. So, Bubz... Maybe you Bubs, stop lying to him. Cause I can't. Super blood blue moon, fucking baby, that was a party.

I got super blood blue moon fever. That could be a song. Let's do it, let's write it. Super blood blue moon fever. Super blood blue moon fever with the red moon. I want you to come on back. Won't you come on back with your red moon and your blue moon and your super blood moon, yeah.

It's a hit. It could be a song. It's a hit. You're gonna have to write that up, Ricky, as soon as you finish luliluliluli checking. I gotta finish that song. I've been thinking about it a lot, but then I always forget what I thought about it.

I still think it's a hit. Looly, looly, looly chicken. Looly, looly, looly chicken. What do you got going on there? Alright, I'm gonna talk about something important here. Oh, like a fucking science of the moon and space is not important? The people listening don't really give a fuck. Oh, I disagree.

You know what I'm going to talk about? Love. Oh, fuck. Okay, this is important. Yeah, here we go. All right. Like love with a woman or love between friends? Love with a woman, okay? Okay.

All right. I was reading this story. There's this dude, you know, he knocked up this chick. He's 23. He knocked up this chick who's's 23. He knocked up this chick There you who's 38, and she's not really that attractive looking okay? Okay, so he wants to marry not attractive to who well this chick this 30 year old 38 year old chicks It's not really it's not my finder attractive, or we don't know he knocked her up. He banged her

So I could have been just a drunken fucking weird night. Anyway, they want to get married, right? So the family said there's a dowry. You know those things where you got to pay the parents? You got to pay their parents for their blessing for the marriage. What the fuck? It was $100,000. She said, no, no, no. They said, fuck you, lady.

You got to pay $800,000. $800,000 to what? Marry their son? Yeah, because he was so young and she's old and not great. So they said, okay. But she handed over like Ferraris, you know, real estate. Boom. Now, my question is, we're getting older, we're not married, right?

If you met this chick who had like all kinds of money, she's maybe 60, 65. Yeah. Would you be right in there? What would it give me? A Ferrari, a house. Would I have to love her? You'd have to bang her.

Yeah, but would I have to love her? That's what I'm saying. Is love important? I think it is. I think I'd have to fucking at least like the person. It's quite a topic you brought up. It's one thing to fucking, you know, drive around a Ferrari and shit, but... Yeah, but you could, you know, what if she had like 10 million bucks? You gotta go home and say you fucking can't stand. It's not good times. So you're actually considering this just because she...

Well, I'm thinking if I haven't found, you know, the woman I want to marry, just go all in, man. Say fuck it. Just find an old dragon that's got a bunch of money. Yep. I would do it, I think. Would you? Yep.

Okay, if there's any ladies out there listening that would like to marry Julian, you need to be old and rich. Five to ten million. Jesus, that's a lot. And let's get it going. Five, ten million, and you got yourself a perfect specimen of a man. Come on, Bubs. A little boy toy.

A little boy toy. I wouldn't call myself a boy toy. You should get a shirt. I'm a boy. I'm a man. Boy toy. Man toy. Oh, you're going to be a man toy.

Man toy. That's better, yeah? I'm not a boy toy. I'm a man toy. You just throw it out there. Make a shirt up and give it to you for your birthday. Don't get it, I'm not gonna wear it. Let's get one made. All right.

Great big white letters, boy toy. I would never wear a fucking shirt like that. Well, that was a good conversation. You would if there was an old lady with 10 million dollars. It's good to know that you, hello. So what happened? Did they get married? They, yep.

They got married. Somebody paid the 800 grand? She paid the 800 bucks to the young guy's fucking parents. 800 grand? Yeah. Well, 800 grand. A lot of money, but there was a Ferrari and some real estate shit. There must have been a bit of love there.

Well, he was teeing off on her and he knocked her up, so... I don't know. How young was the fella? 23. 23? And she's 65? No, she's 38. Oh. But I'm saying, like, you know, if it was us...

Oh, I thought you said she was 65. No, I'm saying if it was us, we, you know... So she's 38, he's 23. That's, I don't, that's nothing. And she's rich. Yeah. And does he actually like her, did he ever say? No, I don't know.

I was just concentrating on the money part of it here. I don't give a fuck whether he loved her or liked her. He banged her. Yeah, he banged her. He knocked her up. I think you're making a big mistake, Julian. Do you love everybody you bang, Julian? Nope.

I don't think so, with all the strippers you're knocking down. Apparently he doesn't give a fuck about love. At least, you know, you can be friends with them. I don't think so with all the strippers you're knocking down. Apparently he doesn't give a fuck about love. At least, you know, you could be friends with him. You don't have to love them. You need to find true love, man. Well.

Maybe you're looking in the wrong places. You need your own kitty. Or you need to switch. That's what you need. You want to know what true love is? Find a kitty.

I'm not going to find true love with a kitty. Maybe you need to switch teams, and then you'll find true love. Switch teams? If you're not falling in love with this team, so go to the other team. What team? See if they want to fall in love with you. Ricky, what team are you talking about? The man team. Why would I want to fucking switch teams?

Because you're not falling in love with me. I don't like the other team. Just switch over to the other side? Myself. It's okay if people like other teams and stuff, but for me, no. I'm happy with the team I'm going for. I don't think you are.

I think you could be gay. What the fuck are you talking about, man? No big deal. I mean, you've been confused throughout your life. Yeah. Big time. Sure I have. That's you.

That's not me. I don't know, man. Talking about marrying a senior citizen is just for money? That is fucked. Not senior citizens. Come on. You said 65. 64 would have to be the...

Okay. That's it. So you're with her for a year and then she gets... Or him. Or him. It's not a him. You know what? Maybe if you were dead...

Why does it always have to turn into this, huh? Every time. I'm just concerned that you're not happy, and maybe it's because you won't fucking admit that you're not who you think you are. If you had an old, wrinkly man laying in bed next to you every night... Jesus, Bob's... With his wrinkly sack,

maybe, Julian, you would find true love. Yeah, Bob's. With his wrinkly sack. Maybe, Julian, you would find true love. Yeah, you mean, yeah. Maybe. Funny guy, huh? Kitties, I'm telling you. All you need is a good kitty, loyal, excellent kitty. Yeah, but you're not getting banged.

That's the problem. Well, you don't need to be getting banged to know true love. That's what you think. You don't need to be getting banged to know true love. Kitties can show true love. Well, that's coming from a guy who's not getting banged, then. That's what I say to that.

Well, that's fine with me. I don't need to get banged. At least I'm not denying my sexuality. Here we go. Ricky, you're such a fucking dick, man. Just want you to be happy. Me too. I am happy.

No, you're not. I'm just saying, you know, wanna get married or something. Speaking of kitties and true love kitties, it's time for... Don't say it. Kitty of the week! Fuck!

Last week, look, okay, I admit last week got a little fucked up. We had technical glitches. It sucked. It was terrible. It didn't suck. It sucked. The content was still there. Just the way I delivered it, maybe, wasn't the greatest.

Fuck, those are hot. All right, I'm done for a bit with the snacks. I forgot I wasn't allowed to eat. I fucked up. What are you eating that's so hot? Let me look what's in this. Hot and spicy. Cajun.

Try these fucking things. You want to burn your hole off? Here. Hot Cajun corn sticks. Jesus. What the fuck? Where do they go? The hot things.

Corn sticks. Oh, there we go. Hot Cajun corn sticks? Is that a corn stick? Fire one of those and you're a shit hole. What is it? It's a little piece of bread. Yeah. It's like a little crouton. Get it going.

It's really not that big of a deal, I guess. Those aren't that that hot, Ricky. Fuck, maybe it was just the one I had because it was bright red. Okay, people are going to be losing their fucking minds here. All right, no more eating. All the chewing. People in their cars. Let's put those right there and try to go out to trade.

You got a bag of M&Ms, do you? Yeah. Let's get this Kitty of the Week shit the fuck going. I'm done. Okay, so this week what I did... Yep. I put them all together in one thing. So I just hit play and the kitty's going. I'm done. Okay, so this week what I did, I put them all together in one thing. So I just

hit play and the kitty's going. I numbered them. I numbered them. Alright, perfect. Get it going. You've got 27 seconds left. Nope, this is going to run about a minute and a half. Fuck, minute and a half, bud. Okay, are you ready for this? This is going to be decent.

Okay, here's kitty number one. Look, I put a little graphic on there. Roll over, kitty. Watch this. Roll over. Ever see this? This cat could be in the Super Cats cat show. Look at that.

Roll over. Good boy. Never seen that before. Sit, girl. Oh, watch this. Another kitty trick. You want a high five? Good.

High fives. Here you go. That's watch this. Another kitty trick. You want a high five? High fives. Here you go. That's super cats. All right, see, this is fucking cats giving high fives and sitting and rolling over. Look at this guy standing up on the counter. Standing up. Oh, that guy bonked into a box. Look, that's cocksucker.

This is actually pretty good. Look, that's cocksucker. Knows how to open doors. That's pretty fucking smart. He opened the doorknob. He knows what he's doing. Kitty number six. Look at this.

Guitar kitty. He plays guitar? He does. Look at that. And then he smells the strings. And he bites at them. Playing tunes. That's kind of cool.

He's not very good. Come on, Ricky. Look at this guy. Boxing kitty. That's cool. Look at him. That's not a kitty, is it? No, that's a dog, but watch this. You know, number eight, look how tough this cocksucker is.

You know, he's got his buddy there. His dog buddy. Look, the dog's snarling at him. Look what he does. Fuck you. I'm gonna chew on your head fat. I'm going to chew on your head fat. That's what he's saying. That dog's two minutes from snapping. And then he's like, look, he's going to snarl at him.

Watch what he does. Doesn't give a fuck. Puts him down again. Give me your head fat. That cat is fucking tough. I'm going to chew on your head fat. But they're just playing. They're just playing.

All right, that's a tough one. Who's the winner? He's just kidding. They were just playing. If they were really, the dog would have been growling. And if he had a snap at him, Kitty would have backed off. Gave him one right in the chops. All right, so who wins here?

That's a tough one, man. That's some good ones. I don't know. I like the last fellow there. The last one's pretty decent. I mean, you can just see him gnawing on his head fat. Didn't give a fuck. The ones doing the tricks were pretty good, too.

All the kiddies doing the tricks were great. Did you see the guy standing up on the counter trying to see better? Yeah. Kiddies that stand up, they're always the best. They're always funny. I don't know, do I really gotta pick one or could they all just be, you know, they're all sort of the kitties of the week.

They should be just kitties of the week, yeah. Kitties of the week, those are them. I mean, I don't like to pick one because then people will tell their kitty, you didn't win this week, and the kitty will get all depressed. I mean, if I had to pick one, I like that cocksucker standing up.

He was good. But I also like the boxing guy. I like the car kitty. I like the guy chewing the head fat. I like the rollover guy. And I like the guy taking the treats. So everybody's a winner? Everyone's a winner, baby.

That's no lie. All right. Everybody's a winner on Kitty of the Week this week. It's Kitties of the Week. That was decent. Decent submissions. Send in your kitties for next week to blog.swearinit.com slash kitty. That was well done.

Yeah. They'll put the graphic up there, and then guess what next week? Whole new slew of kitties They just keep can't wait bubs. I just keep pouring in I mean you could have you could have muscle man of the week. No. Yeah, let's start that contest Send in to blog dot swear net comm slash Muscles all your weightlifting videos, your getting oiled up videos.

Please don't fucking send those in, Bob. Send them in and Julian will pick them. No, man. No, no, no. The most Bob man of the week. If you're in Speedos, that would be probably the best. That'd be great. And we could get two bird stoned at once, as Ricky said. He does like his Speedos.

We could get two bird stoned at once, as Ricky said. He does like a Speedos. We could get two birds stoned at once, Ricky. How? Because then he gets to pick Muscle Man of the Week, and he might find his new... Muscle Person of the Week. Muscle Person of the Week, and he might find his new true love. This is true. You know what?

This might be my last podcast. Sorry, but I'm not coming on here to go through this bullshit. blog.squarenet.com slash muscles No. You show that, I'm done, bud. That's muscles of the week. And Ricky, you should have something of the week. We'll figure that one out. Joint of the week? Joint of the week. Toke of the week? I don't know.

Joke of the week? Joint or toke of the week? Send it in to blog.squwearinat.com slash joints. The only problem is you can't hear any of this shit, right? I guess we don't give a fuck, do we? You can't hear what? Well, if you're not watching it, you're just listening to it. Well, you can still hear us. I mean, the people just described, they heard me describing the kitties.

If they really want to see it, they'll go to fucking swearingat.com and sign up and watch it. All right, goes the merch. This is a video podcast. I need to clear something up. Maybe it's just me because I am not normal all the time. Do you guys think camels are sexy or hot or cute or, you know what I mean? The animal or like a camel? No, no, the animal.

You want to bang a camel? No. Is that what you're saying? No, but apparently I might be one of the only people that doesn't. Camels are not sexy, Ricky. No. I found this thing that they hold a fucking camel beauty pageant. I don't know where the fuck it is, but it's a camel beauty pageant,

and this year they've banned Botox camels. No, man, you gotta be kidding me. I swear to fuck. It's like a million dollar prize. Julian, fact check, please. I swear to fuck. Can you fact check that? Look up Botox camels banned or something like that.

Do you know what Botox is? No, but it can't be good. Well, it's not. It's when they inject you with the stuff. But what the fuck? How do you have a camel beauty patch? A million-dollar prize. What makes them look good? Million dollars?

Yes, this is big fucking big deals. We gotta get a camel suit. No shit. I could go in that. But I wouldn't know how to pick a camel. Like, what makes it good-looking or not good-looking? Probably his teeth. Apparently it must be his lips. This is happening. Probably his lips. But I wouldn't know how to pick a camel. Like, what makes it good-looking and not good-looking? Are you fucking kidding me? Apparently it must be his lips.

This is happening. Probably his lips. Camels have lips? I think that's why they were banned. Something to do with something. 30,000 camels were brought to this fucking annual event. Where? Saudi Arabia.

Racing in a obedience competition in a beauty pageant. What the fuck is wrong with these people? Okay, so it's not just me. A beauty pageant? Well, is it any different than a dog show, really? I was starting to think that maybe I was fucked, and that camels are really sexy animals. I don't know.

But I'm not seeing it. I don't think beauty pageant means sexy, Ricky. I think they just mean... Like, is it really any different than a dog show that they have here? You're not going to Botox your dog. Prize money totaling $57 million. Are you fucking kidding me?

What the fuck? Okay. $31.8 million is reserved just for the pageantry. So this is big cash. It's fucked. They use Botox for the lips, the nose, the upper lips, the lower lips, the jaw, the wieners. I see why they're injecting Botox into them now if they're making that kind of dough, but it's not right. Camels, you can't shoot Botox into a poor camel.

He doesn't even know what it is. He just, like, gets a needle. He's like, ah, fuck off. Until he looks in the mirror. Then he's like, Jesus, why do I got these big lips? Then he looks in the mirror. He's like, holy fuck. Look at my big camel lips.

Yeah, looking good there. Look at my big camel lips. Cheaters may even pull the lips of the camel. Pull? Pull, I don't know. Cheaters? Cheaters, man. Pull, oh, that doesn't mean pull their lips off, I hope.

No, just pull them out. Like, stretch them. Stretch? Aw, the poor camel. Coat the inside with Krazy Glue or something. Like, why does that make a more attractive looking camel when they do all that shit? I don't understand. That's what I'm saying.

I don't know. How do you judge this? They're animals. Best lips? Perfect nose? Best lips, perfect nose. If there's some arsehole over there fucking pulling on a camel's lips all day to make them have nicer lips, somebody should pull his fucking lips right off.

You shouldn't have beauty pageants with animals, first of all. That's fucked. That is really fucked. But then when you're taking it to a level where you're giving them needles and pulling on their lips, that's just not right. I mean, I have the Supercats cat show. You don't see me, you know, pulling their tails to stretch them out or anything. I make sure the kitties are 100%.

You did dye that one guy blonde. I didn't dye him blonde, Ricky. He got into some stuff that he shouldn't have got into. I didn't do it. He looked pretty cool. He was a good-looking kid. He got some sun in spelt on him, and he bleached out in the sun,

but I took him into the vet and made sure that there was nothing. Oh, man. What are you watching? This is just fucked up. Is that the camel? Yeah, man. They even you watching? This is just fucked up. Is that the camel? Yeah, man. They even have like a camel milk tasting competition.

That's all part of it. Oh, Jesus, camel milk. Oh, that tastes like, probably be pretty sandy. I would think it would have. Grit? Gritty and have like an almond flavor. You're saying that's a sexy looking camel? Is that the winner?

No, that's just a sexy one. That is a good looking camel. It's a good looking camel, as far as camels go. I don't know if he is. He looks old. I wouldn't say he's sexy. He's just a, that's a nice looking animal. I don't know that he's any nicer looking

than a regular camel. I don't know, man. I mean. There's some fucked up things in the world. There is? Like those fucking riots over Nutella. Nutella? It's a spread or some sort of...

Nutella? The spread? Yeah. Is it good? I've never had it. Toast spread. Oh, I thought you meant a place. It's like a hazelnut. What riots over... Yeah, it is like that. There was a fucking big riot in France because some grocer cut the price of Nutella by 70% and a fucking riot broke out.

They just love Nutella that much, I guess. Where's this at? France. Is that a place? Fucking French love their Nutella, man. Nutella. It's made of hazelnuts. Nutella. It's a chocolate hazelnut spread. Nutella?

Oh, you fucking, are you kidding me? So is it worth beating the fuck out of someone if it goes on sale at half price? No, I don't think it's that good. But you've had Nutella, Ricky. You know when I put the chocolate spread on your toast? Yeah. That's Nutella.

Oh, man. I don't know. I might riot for that shit. It's expensive. Yeah, I can see it. Now it makes sense to me. Yeah, you always called it chocolate sauce. You know what? This is the one time I'm going to say the people that rioted were fucking justified. I wish I was there. I don't believe that. I wish I was there. I don't believe that. I mean, there's been crazier riots.

Remember the Cabbage Patch Kid riots? People got knifed over those. Yeah, I was in one. I was in a bad one. You were in a Cabbage Patch riot? It was fucking crazy. What was it? Was it Wolko?

Wolko, yeah. The Wolko store. Trying to get a fucking Cabbage Patch for Trinity, and I damn near killed somebody. Yeah, he started one. Ricky, what Cabbage Patch was it? Do you remember? What its name was?

No. It was one of the dumb-looking ones. They were all dumb looking. They were all dumb. Dumb hair. Cabbage Patch Kid. I almost all dumb looking. All dumb hair. Cabbage patch kid. I almost fought a guy.

I almost had to fight a guy for a teco me amo one year. I didn't, I just let him have it. I just said, you take it, bud. If you need to get his fucking belly that bad, you take it. I just wanted to, you know, have something I could practice belly work on. Well, I was just standing there and I was trying to decide between these two. There's only two left. And just as I'm doing these fucking people coming in on the ground, I'm like, fuck off.

I'm fucking trying to decide which one I want. I was here first, and they were like, fuck you. I'm like, oh yeah, fuck me? No, fuck you. And then I fucking went, and I bought both the fucking dolls, and they were left there in the store. Fucking a bad scene. Oh, it's getting me worked up just thinking about it.

I remember that. I can't wait till Christmas and getting me worked up just thinking about it. I remember that. I can't wait till Christmas and fucking go get in a riot about something. Even if I don't want it, I'm fucking rioting again this year. Ricky, you're not rioting because nobody knows what the big super gift's going to be this year. But if I knew, I'd invest in it right now. You know what I betcha it's going to be? What? I betcha. I'm just throwing it out there.

I think it's going to be some type of a stuffed lizard. A stuffed lizard? Some type of stuffed lizard's going to be the hot toy this year. I don't know why. I can just... My spidey senses. Is it because of that insurance company? No, he's not a lizard. He's a gecko. Uh, is it because of, uh... Telus?

The phone company? Do they use a lizard? I think he's a... I don't know what he is. He might be a frog, actually. I think he's a frog, Ricky. It's close. Same family. All right, so if people see a lizard-type toy, buy them up, because they're gonna be the toy of the year. You better buy them quick, because I'm coming for you. I wouldn't put my money on the lizard.

Oh, God, I can't wait to get in a fight. Right. I've got some rage and aggression going on. What's happening? What's causing that, boobles? It's probably the hot nuts you're shoving in my mouth. Oh, that's what it is. I've got to stop eating them.

The hot nuts get you all... It's making me fucking angry. Crazy. It's the heat from the nuts. You guys got anything else you want to talk about? Because this was fucking shitty. No, I think that's about it. Wasn't much really going on.

I was going to talk about all those 46 tons of beads they sucked out of the sewer in New Orleans, but it's kind of lame. 46 tons of what? Those fucking beads that all the chicks get for showing their tits or whatever it is. Holy fuck, that's a lot of beads. See, that's a good story.

46 tons. I didn't think it was good. We should have talked about it. Fuck. I fucked up. Well, we kind of just did. That's a lot of beads. And that's a lot of tits.

So they sucked them out of where? The sewer. 46 tons. 46 tons. Holy shit. That's a few little beads. All right, so every time you're given a bead or something, there's tits involved, right?

If there's 46 tons of beads, there's probably 20 tons of boobs you're talking about that were shown to earn, to get those beads. I wonder how many beads would make a ton. Like, it would be a dump truck? It would be a wheelbarrow? Well, they're just light. They're those little plastic beads.

They're really light, man. I would think it would be at least a dump truck, wouldn't it? Ton? That's a lot of weight. I'd say you're looking at about a million sets of tits. A million? A million. For that many beads? My God. What is a barrel?

A barrel is a... It's like a thing to carry stuff in. Fuck. I always thought a wheeled barrel was a wheeled barrel. Like someone cut a barrel in half, put wheels on it. That's how it was invented. Well, that's not... That's not...

Wrong. You're wrong, but it's not a thing. What is the definition of a barrel, please? Are you kidding me, bud? It's time to go. I just need to know now, because I believe it might have originated, I believe it's a Scandinavian word.

It's a two-wheeled handcart used especially by street vendors. Huh. Yeah. A luggage trolley is also a wheelbarrow, or a barrow. And what is the etymology of barrow? Where did it come from? Oh, for fuck's sake. I believe it was derived into the English language in 1764 by Gustav Barrow.

I thought it was... Old English or Germanic? Yeah. It's also a hole a gopher lives in, isn't it? It's like a stretcher. Stretcher? A what? Or a bear. A hole a gopher lives in, isn't it? It's like a stretcher. Stretcher? A what? Or a bear.

A whole gopher lives in. Is that a barrow? I don't think so. In Dutch it's a berg. A barrow is a berg. A ground pig or whatever the fuck they're called. A groundhog doesn't live in a barrow, does he? I don't know.

No, he lives in a hole. Oh, man, a barrow is also a male pig castrated before maturity. Oh. Those poor fucking barrows. What's maturity? Mm-hmm. Oh, fuck. Okay, well. That's it.

We're not going to talk anymore about barrows. That was a really good finish. Very exciting. That was a good finish. I'm going to close up my. That was a really good finish. Very exciting. That was a good finish. I'm gonna close up my... That's what your mother said. That's not nice. You finished on my mom?

No. She was dirty. God.