Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 13 - Canadian Underground Nuclear Test Systems

Episode Date: August 23, 2021

There's a party in the trailer today with tater tot nachos, pulled pork... and one stinkin' Randy! The Boys discuss why the Queen is on Julian's hot list, the art of the fartist, and Ricky's new business idea. Also: What in the f**k is Bubbles wearing on his face?!

I can't fucking tell if that song's on here or not. You know what song got stuck in my head? Fucking Round and Round. Rat. Yeah, man. Round and Round's definitely not on here. Fucking love Rat, man. No, it's on here.

I'm a believer. The Monkees. All right. It's on my solid Fucking love rat man. No it's on here I'm a believer the monkeys. All right. I found my solid gold collection Ricky. How does that song go? And then I saw her face and I'm a believer. Oh yeah. I like round and round better bud. Well yeah the monkeys were not, you know. They're old, man. The turtles are on here, too. Solid gold. Your mama banged a turtle. Mellow Yellow's on here, too. Donovan.

Ricky. I'm getting some fucking... What do you got? I'll tell you what I got, motherfucker. You didn't make... Tach motherfucker. You didn't make... Tachos. You didn't make your tachos. Fucking right I did.

What's a tacho? Tater tot nachos. Tachos. Go away. Hey, guys. Get the fuck out of here. Check it out, Ricky. I got all the stuff cut up here.

I got all the veggies. This is gonna be awesome. Get in here, Randy. What do you got? Hi, Julian. Who the fuck invited you? He said he could make up some sauces for me to help me out.

Randy. Oh, special sauce. I bought you this, Randy. Okay? I want you to use it. It's called Irish Spring. That's the best soap there is. Well, use it then.

Well, use it then. I use soap every day. You never use fucking soap. I'm taking this here. That's yours, Randy. I can smell you from here, man. fucking soap. I'm taking this. That's yours, Randy. I can smell you from here, man. Get right in your pits with it. That's where it needs to go.

In your ass crack. You guys. You should just keep one in your ass crack and let it dissolve. Just eat soap. Put it in my pocket. There we go. Okay. Look at that.

Oh, tachos. I didn't know we were having tachos. It's tacho fucking Friday. August the 20th. Look at all this stuff I got right here. What do you got under here, Randy? Did you bring that special sauce you made? Sour cream with paprika.

Smoked paprika. Yes. Smoked. Oh. We're gonna fucking have a feast. Look at those chives right there, chopped to perfection. What's the difference between a chive and a green onion? It's just a little bit less meaty. I think it's pronounced chivvies. And check this out, diced.

Ricky, I should be the first to eat. Okay. I should be the first because I'm the hungriest. Probably. Well, I might not be hungrier than you, am I? I can, you know what? I can eat even after I'm full. All right, man. Disgusting. I'm not disgusting. Look at this, Julian.

Tart chocolate. How many tater tots do you want? That's good. I usually just load them up with the other stuff. Jesus. Was he, did he just try to grab you? He didn't try, he did. He had a hot tot on his pants.

Cheese sauce? Don't be skimpy with it now. The sauce is what makes it. What the fuck is all over the tater tots? It's cheese sauce, man. That's cheese. No, no, in there. Is there like sprinkled shit on it? No, man.

Those are just the tots, straight out. Alright, is that good? What's over there? I can't even see it. That's the pulled pork. What's that? Pulled pork. Fucking right, slow cooker pulled pork. Can I?

You can get out that, I guess. Get that on there. Ah, fuck, that's hot. Oh, there's the tongers. Ricky, you really did a good job on that. You did good with your sauces, Randy. No, but those are perfectly cooked tater tots. Jesus, Murphy, these are-

It's a bit of an urge. These are gonna be unreal. There's the pulled pork. Do I drive the fucking, I'd definitely put a dollop on there. Yeah, a little bit on there. Salad cream. What's that, Rich?

Julian, you're really gonna like this. That's paprika. And tachos. It's a gorgeous spice. Oh, I put a lot on, didn't I? That's enough. Okay. Watch, I put a lot on, didn't I? That's enough. Okay. Watch this, just like that, guy. Nice.

You got like... Well done. You look like the chef dude. What's his name? Salt Bae. Who? Salt Bae. Salt Bae? Watch him on the thing. What's that? Hey, what's that noise?

Oh, just wait. Oh, it's my alarm. Here, I got a... this is... I'm supposed to start my glasses treatment. Good God. Glasses treatment? What are you talking about? Oh, I got these. These are like some sort of thing that eye doctor gave me.

I'm supposed to wear them. Why? Like that. What the fuck are you got on your head? It's some kind of thing. Wait, I'm supposed to turn the lights on too. Turn those fucking lights on. Well, the lights open your pupils, apparently.

And then every five minutes I got to, you know, it goes like this. I can switch to train this eye. Okay, just don't wear those in public, okay? They're just eye trainers. You will not get banged. I told him my eyes are fine, but he said I needed to strengthen some type of muscles or something, so... You might go cross-eyed, Bubbles.

What the frig? No, he said I wouldn't go. My eyes are fucking fine, Randy. They're just... they just need a little push. Oh my fuck. Is it good? Julian, you gonna have any? No, I'm not gonna have any, Randy.

And by the way, for eating this food, our food, you've got to mow our fucking lawn. I brought the condiments. For a month. Ricky, do you got a fork? I brought the condiments, too. Yeah, man. If you use your lighted eyes, you should be able to see right there. I'm not seeing them.

Jesus Christ. I don't know if those lights are good for you or not. No, man. Well, it's supposed to open your pupils or dilate them, close them maybe. They just don't look like something a doctor would give you, man. Well, he gave them to me. That fucking pulled pork came out good. Apparently they're expensive to buy, too.

They're a hundred bucks. Yeah? A hundred bucks. He gave me a free pair. Look at that. This is awesome. It's hard to hit your mouth with these on. Almost shoved that through my cheek.

Just feel around man. Ricky, I gotta try this. Fantastic! Oh, this lucky fucker. This dude over in Indonesia. I didn't even know you could do that over there. He's getting married, right? His ex-girlfriend came in and crashed the wedding or tried to crash it.

Guess what happened? Killed her. No. Guess what happened? Why? He married both of them. His sister? No, his ex-girlfriend came in to crash the wedding.

He ended up marrying both of them. What a lucky fucker. They're hot, both of them. How did that happen? How does that? And the guy, like, what the fuck? And the current lady that was marrying him didn't have a problem? Nope. Where was this at?

But he's, like, he weighs about 50 pounds. He must be packing some heat or something. Some places you can have, like, more than one wife. You knew that, right? He's probably got a big horn on him. He's got it, man. because these women are very fucking odd. Yeah. All right.

Good for him. There was a bank robber over in the UK last week. He fucking robbed a bank with a note. His handwriting was so bad that they couldn't read what it said. What a dumb fuck. So they were confused, and he just turned around and left. Abort mission. He should have typed it.

A couple days later, he robbed another bank. He took his time with the handwriting, and he got caught. Because he's dumb. Yeah, if he would have had the handwriting right the first time, he might have fucking got away with it. Well, he shouldn't have even tried again. He should have looked for something else to fucking do other than rob banks. Robbing banks aren't easy, man.

Boy, these tachos are unreal. They're really good. These are fucking good. Very impressive. I found some people that had unusual abilities. This Joseph Pujol guy, he was known as the Ferdist. The Ferdist. He could suck air and liquid into his ass

and then blow it out with great precision. Wasn't he? That guy was on That's Incredible, wasn't he? Randy can do that. I can't suck it in. You can expel it. I think I can suck air in, but I don't know about liquid. Liquid as well. Yeah.

Well, when you're in the tub, something goes up in the tub. Fuck, Randy. People don't need that visual, okay? You say something, people fucking... Oh no, I love eating like creamy fucking meat and fucking him talking about sucking water up into his hole. No, but in the tub, that's just the best. That's what happens in the tub. It goes up your pee hole too. What are you talking? No, it doesn't. Yes, it doesn't. What do you think that it's a hole that blocks things? Yes.

Yes. If not, you'd be shitting yourself when you're walking around. It'd be just coming out. Maybe that's what the fuck is wrong. That's like a camera lens, Randy. It closes down. Shit block. You know what's happening? You're putting too many things up there.

It's loosening it up, man. It's stretched out. All kinds of stuff. I've got a very tight system just so you guys know randy you stretched your iris and one day you might have had a tight system i don't imagine what half stop is your hole at randy did you ever hear about kim goodman she's an eye-popping woman she can pop her fucking eyeballs that's fucking gross, man. There's a lot of people

that can do that. Whoa, what's going on with this thing? What the fuck is happening now? That's my five-minute changeover. Gotta do this eye

for five minutes. Are you serious? What a fucking situation you got yourself into. Are you serious? Well, it just goes off every, you know, he said.

Bob, the next time you go to the eye doctor, I'm coming with you. I'd like to be this guy, this slavik Pajakchikarach. Why is he killing- He's a human battery. Can't fucking see the thing. An electric chair is 2,000 volts. This motherfucker can take 20,000 volts.

Doesn't even affect- Bull fucking shit. Human battery. How did he find that? Shit himself or anything? How much is in a bolt of lightning? Shut the fuck up, Randy. Julian, I got fucking no- Is that food?

The electric chair is only 2,000, Randy. Yes, man. That's some pulled pork or something. Oh, I know what it is. How'd I do that? This is the gigawatt thing. Oh my- Back to the future.

Fuck. 1.21 gigawatts is what's lightning. Gigawatts? Yeah. Gigawatt. Is that like a jiggle hook? No, it's a different thing than a jiggle hook. It's a jiggle hook. 1.21 gigawatts is what's lightning. Gigawatts? Yeah, gigawatts. Is that like a jiggle-o?

No, it's a different thing. The doc, the doc, he knew it all about that. Fuck, this would freak you. This Nigerian medical student, they were fucking, took the sheet off on a dead body for them to work on, and it was one of his best friends. Shot all to fuck. What did he do?

He fucking screamed his head off and ran out of the room. His friend disappeared like six days before him. Here he is. He was fucking all shot to fuck, and they had him on the table to work on him with his friend. How many times did he get shot? Like, if I was a doctor... I don't think that's the point.

Well, it's just... If I was at doctor school and you came in all shot up, it would freak me out a little bit. Yeah, that would suck. But, you know, there's people... More so for you. 50 Cent, he got shot, what, nine times? He's all right.

Can you see, bud? Yeah, I can see it. Next time you're eating KFC, be careful, because this woman dislocated her fucking jaw while eating a KFC sandwich. She stretched her mouth too far, it was thick. Oh, she was trying to get the big crunch in without squashing her down first. I've almost done that. She needed prosthetic joints, five fucking operations just for me to eat a chicken sandwich.

Mine locked one day. Remember I was walking around like this? Remember that? Was this? Remember that? It was what? Yeah. Like that? That's what happened. I was trying to eat a Big Mac. You probably remember that day, Randy. I like a Big Mac, but-

Probably had a few visuals. It is kinda messy. But I like taking the KFC chickens and dipping them in gravy. That's good. Oh, my fuck, those are good. They are really good. I like the chops. Oh, are we going to do the thing?

What thing? You know, the park after the dark. Oh, yeah. What do you mean? Aren't we doing that today? This is park after dark. Is that what you mean? Are we doing it right now?

This is the park after, yes, man. Oh, okay, well, there you go. I didn't know. I don't see the camera, fellas. Why, fuck. It might be time to switch your glasses. Your glasses need to be changed or something. No, the timer's gone.

The eyesight's getting worse, man. Timer's gone. All right, guess what's the most annoying word in America for nine years straight? This is a survey that was done. No. The most annoying word. The most annoying word?

Yeah. I don't even find it that fucking annoying, really. Probably the word annoying. That's what I would say. Load gargle. Nope. Got a guess, Randy? Pest twester.

Nope. Most annoying. It's just one word. Oh. Quails. Nope. Snacks. Slacks. Not even close. Snatch. Nope. Treats. I don't like the word treats. No that's not annoying. Oh then I give up. Whatever. Whatever? That's the most annoying. That is annoying. Yeah?

Whatever. When you say something to somebody and they're like, whatever. No, you know what's even more annoying? What? Whatevs. Whatevs, that would be more annoying. Whatevs. So, boys, I'm trying to make a fucking T-shirt, all right?

I think it could be a good seller. I want to come up with a company called Cunts. Or Cunt. So the letters, you know, spell that. But it's got to be something, you know, like... Collectively Unified National Truckers. Cunt. Confidence Unisex Naked Textiles.

No, that doesn't make any sense. Coed underwear nipple tents. That's a little better. Coed underwear nipple tents. It's not a business. Country underdog needle tarps? Yeah, that's not really a business either. California unmanned nectar tripod.

What about C, well, Canadian? Oh, fuck, I don't have a Canadian one. Canadian. Castrated unicorn nostril tempera. What about this? Can you not talk, cunt? It's not a bad one. Canadian.

Fuck. Underground. Codfish umbrella nest templates. Oh, fuck. Switch your eyes, you fucking weirdo. Crushed unborn northern. Switching to the right eye. I don't know what you would do with those.

You could put cheeseburgers in there. The C. Cheeseburgers underneath. Cranberry unicycled Nevada Teamsters. It's not very good. I was fucked up when I wrote these. Cheeseburgers underneath testicles. Canivorous unvaxed newborn trees.

Why does it have to be cunts, Ricky? That's kind of... Because I think it would be a funny fucking shirt. A little kid can't wear a shirt. Canadian underground nuclear testing systems. Oh, man. Really?

Canadian underground nuclear test systems. Wait, does it spell it? Cunts. It's got the S. I think my Uncle Steve worked there. Holy fuck, man. That's a good one. Canadian Underground Nuclear Test System.

And we could have hard hats. Cunts on the front of it. And the nuclear fucking symbol there. The radiation symbol. Yes. That would be really cool. I'll get you a T-shirt done up, Ricky. I've got a...

Oh, we had See You Next Tuesday shipping, too. It's not bad. See You Next Tuesday shipping. That's not bad. Cox Uterus nipple tit suppliers. That's better. I would go with that one. We could use that one, too.

I like the Canadian one. That's good, man, because it's not too... It's actually a little bit believably good. It sounds like it could be an actual society or group, Canadian Underground Nuclear Test Systems. All right, we have a winner. I'll make, I've got a, you know that, I've got that old screen

printer. You should put the USA in there, though. Ricky, I can make it on the computer and make it an iron-on. Canada, USA. We'll make iron-on T-shirts. What color do you want, Julian? I'll rock the shit out of that. You'll get a, USA. Oh, man, bro. That would be fucking... We'll make iron-on T-shirts. What color do you want? Do you want black?

I'll rock the shit out of that. You'll get a black one. I'll rock that up. Randy doesn't get one because he doesn't wear shirts. I'll wear whatever color you want to make. I'll take a hard hat, though. A hard hat would be good. Oh, a hard hat would be good, too.

Okay, a hard hat. Randy and a hard hat. It's very village people. 50 bucks. It's very village people. You know when you go up to somebody and you can't remember

their fucking name and it drives you crazy? Yeah. The Scots have a fucking word for that. You know what it is? What? Turtle.

Turtle? Turtle? Turtle. Turtle? What does that mean? Don't know, man. Well, it means you forgot their fucking name.

The feeling you get is a turtle. Oh, you don't say, hey, turtle. No, it's turtle. Turtle. That's who was the guy on Fantasy Island, wasn't it? Turtle Montalbán. They got a new Fantasy Island out now.

You know that? No. Did you see that? I saw a commercial, man. It's coming back. If it doesn't have Rourke in tattoo on it, I'm not interested. I think it's like a fucking daughter or something of him, Mr. It's coming back. If it doesn't have Rourke and Tattoo on it, I'm not interested. I think it's like a fucking daughter or something of him.

Mr. Rourke. Mickey Rourke's playing Mr. Rourke. Bullshit. He's tough these days. Who's playing Tattoo? That guy. Hervé Vélich as his name was. That's pretty good. He was good, man. He was a fantastic little

fella. Spicing his time. He was a great little actor. He was a little too much though, didn't he? Why? He got on the liquor a little bit too much though, didn't he? Herve Villas, yes? Yeah. I don't know if he did.

Hey, boss, the train, the train. Remember him? Yeah. The plane, Ricky. The plane. Da plane. What plane? Boss, boss, da plane.

He was fire. It was a float plane. It was on an island. It was on an island. There was no train on the island, I don a fire plane. It was on an island. There was no train on the island, I don't think. It was an island. There was no train to the fucking island.

There was a roller coaster, I think. There wasn't a fucking roller coaster. There was whatever you wanted in your mind, Randy. That's what you needed on the island. I wonder what kind of drugs they did. Do you remember the time fucking Rourke had a duel with the devil? That was the best episode ever made. He was in Star Trek, too. Yes. Oh, yeah, he was. That was the best episode ever made. He was in Star Trek, too. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, he was. He was Khan, yes. Yeah. He lived there. Good remembering, Randy. Yeah, I don't like stuff in my ears. Holy fuck.

Those little creatures, remember? Yeah, I had a little earworm. Anybody get good born today that we could fucking party for?

Oh, fuck. The guy that, the The voice of the breath of Fred Flintstone. Alan Reid. Fred? Yeah. Hey, birdie. Don King?

Get your fucking shorts down. You know what? Don King could fuck off. That motherfucker's 90. I kind of wish we had brontosaurus burgers, though. Those would be big. Connie Chung. Julian used to like her. Yep.

Yeah. Is that Wang Chung related? Robert Platt. Connie Chung. She was married to Maury. She was married to him. Fucking Robert Platt. Maury who?

Maury Povich? Was she? Maury Povich was not married to Connie Chung. Yeah, I think she was. It could be Robert. Phil Donahue. It could be Robert Plant Day. We could be celebrating Robert Plant's birthday.

Oh, Robert Plant. He's a good one. Oh, the fucking. The fucking guy that wrote. My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, There was a fucking guy that wrote, Ma-ma-ma-my Serona. Ma-ma-ma-my Babona. He got fucking born on this day. Connie Chung is married to fucking Maury. Remember you used to sing Ma-ma-ma-my Babona? I do.

Remember you used to run around with your underwear on? Holy fuck, Maury Povich is 82 years old. Bet you he's still banging. Oh, with your eyes, Bob, he's banging it up. Moving to the left, aye? Hey, Fred Durst. It's kind of fun. How long do you need it? Hey, Fred Durst. It's kind of fun.

How long do you need this? I think it's working. How long do you have to do it? Oh, that's the last one, actually, for today. Fred Durst, didn't he fucking comment on our video? He got born today. Fred Durst. On the TikTok. Yes, I believe that was the case.

I think you got food on your phone there, bud. Oh, yeah, there's a big onion on it. So, Lube Biscuit, that means soft cock, right? I don't know. Lube Biscuit, yeah, man. I think it's soggy biscuit. Amy Adams, fuck. I think that helped.

This is a good fucking day for boring people. I'm like CNN 4K. Tack sharp, everything's tack sharp. Demi Lovato. Who? Demi Lovato. Demi Lovato. Don't know her.

She was a Disney star and then she became a singer. Hot or not hot? Oh, okay, here's what we're celebrating. Yes. There was a miracle on this day back in 1994. A white buffalo was born. A white buffalo? Yeah.

Extremely rare white, non-albino buffalo calf born in Janesville, Wisconsin. Probably had sex with a unicorn. Cheers to you, my little miracle. That's what it probably was. He's cheersing to a white buffalo.

Cheers to the white buffalo. I'm feeling it. Ricky's little miracle. He's cheersing to a white buffalo for some reason. Cheers to the white buffalo. I'm feeling it. All right. Ricky's little miracle. Oh, I can't wait to have my fucking cunts T-shirt. I'll get it made, Ricky. I've got the, I can make it onto one of those, you know, iron-on patches. Get the fuck out of here.

Chinese checkers. Guess where that, guess where Chinese checkers Guess where that Guess where Chinese checkers Was invented Japan Chinese No Japan

That's what you'd think No Gainesville, Florida No Tulsa, Oklahoma It's in Europe Kansas No

In Europe Oh, Europe Chinese checkers Was invented in Italy London Close Greece No Luxembourg Belgium Europe. Oh, Europe. Chinese checkers was invented in- Italy. London. Close.

Where the bridge fell. Greece. No. Luxembourg. Belgium. Give you a hint. Hitler was probably playing it. Russia.

Berlin. Germany, man. Germany. Chinese checkers invented in Germany. They probably also invented the Chinese finger trap, you know, where you put your fingers in and you can't pull them out. I hate those friggin' things, you know where you put your fingers in you can't hold them out? I hate those friggin things. You, that's cuz you stick your bird in it.

I did not. You should stick your bird in a squirrel fish. See what happens to it. What's that? You don't even know what a squirrel fish is. They're nasty little fuckers with teeth and they don't release. Do they have fur? Your cock will come out of there in four pieces.

I'm not gonna do that there, Icky. Just like stripping a wire. He chomps down, you pull him off and it just, you know, skins her. Alright, Queen Elizabeth II just made it to the fucking hot list big time. Who did? Queen Elizabeth II. Do you know that she's a trained mechanic? That's fucking hot.

The queen is a trained mechanic. She can fix your fucking car. Jesus, Murphy. But when did she take her refresher course last? Don't know. Because she can probably work on, you know, cars from the 50s. Which makes it even cooler.

She's not, you get her under the hood of a... She could probably work on a fucking, like, 67 Camaro easily. Yeah, I bet you she could, but she's not gonna work under the hood of a fucking, like, 67 Camaro easily. Yeah, I bet you she could, but she's not going to work on, like, a fucking, you know, like a modern hypercar. She's not going to know what to do. So what? Big fucking deal.

Well, I'm just saying. If you break down in your hypercar and you got the queen with you, you're fucked. Pops, man. Whatever you do, don't call the queen a slut, because they get very offended by that. Don't do that. Who is going to do that? Nobody even mentioned it until you did.

I thought that's what he was getting at. Is she the queen of hearts still? Randy, would you just stop talking? What the fuck are you talking about? That's where they came up with it, Julian. She's the queen of hearts? No, man. Because where do you think the hearts and cards?

It was a fucking house in Wonderland, wasn't it? One of those stupid movies. No, but the royal family made up card games, didn't they? Because they had the jokers and kings and stuff. Yeah, and they had the sixes and the sevens. I don't know what the jacks are. They own all the numbers. Those are the people in the village.

They're the numbers. I used to like- What number would you be, Randy? Probably number six or something. No, not three, six. Six is right in the middle. It's kind of like you're shaped like a number six. I am actually, six is like you're shaped like a number six. I am, actually.

Six is like a belly. You'll be four. Four balls in your mouth. Who sang that song, Playing with the Queen of Hearts? Kim Kearns. Jesus, nice one, man. Is she on my solid gold collection? Is it her birthday today?

It's not. Playing with the Queen of Hearts. There's onions all over everything. That's because I diced them really tiny. Look, that's the secret of the onion, the chives. Oh, fuck. I got the meat sweats. Oh, that's, you know what?

You should have another drink. People got to be free by the rascals. Wendy, Mallow Yellow, the Diamond Ring. This is a great, great cassette. They should have a TV show where someone else gets to become the queen. Just wait, but the cassette in here is not the actual one. I think that'd be a good idea. It's the wrong cassette in the wrong case.

For fuck's sake. What do we got? 20 Golden Country Songs. Roger Miller, Charlie Rich, Johnny Cash, Glenn Campbell, Patsy Cline. That's a good tape tier, too. I wonder where the other tape is. It's probably in the case for the 20 Golden. What are you throwing at little Glenn Campbell, man?

You want me to? What the fuck was Campbell right now? He's dead now, isn't he? Glenn Campbell is deceased, yes. Unfortunately, Carl Perkins is on here, too. What got him? The cocaine? Well, for my blue sweet juice. You can knock me down, pass in my face.

Something, something all over the place. I thought that was Elvis, man. That is Elvis. Oh. Well, no. Carl Perkins did it first, and then Elvis recorded it. So he caught you. Well, back then, they all used to record each other.

Jesus, man. See me grab that? Snag it right out of the air. Good reflexes. Well, it's because I can see. I saw it happening, and I looked down and saw it falling. So your eyes are getting stronger. I believe so.

I believe so. I believe so. I'll try those tonight. I mean, you know. I feel good, you know. Those tots really sit good. You got that soap with you? I got it in my pocket. Why don't you go jump in the shower?

What? Try it out. Randy, go have a shower. I'm not fucking showering at my pocket. Why don't you go jump in the shower? What? Try it out. Randy, go have a shower. I'm not fucking showering at my house. This is the best. You use this, don't you, Ricky?

You need a fucking pressure washer after he's done. See, Randy, how that smells? Now put your nose to your armpit. See the difference?

Wow, this is fresh, though. If you smell like that... I've had a little bit of... You can't smell totally like that all the time. If you smell like that, you can come over anytime you want. Say that. Well, not in the middle of the night.

What's the slogan? Manly? Manly, too? And I use it? Oh, my God. Manly, too, and I use it. That's what it is. That's not it, man.

Yeah, Irish Spring's going to be thrilled that you're doing a commercial for them. I like it. It's good. I didn't know. It does come from it, man. Yeah, Irish Spring's going to be thrilled that you're doing a commercial for them. I like it. It's good. I didn't know. It does come from Ireland, though. It's made with Irish spring water. It's imported because the spice of it is grown in the mountains there. Oh, my God.

You know what? I feel like fucking throwing things at him right now. Yeah. I'm going to use this. This is a great gift, guys. I might go out, boys. I might go out collecting rocks. I can see so good right now.

Might get some good. Oh, I might get some nice ones. Usually they all look the same, but I think I could identify some different. If you find anything with shiny pieces in it, hook me up. It's the fucking fool's gold, man. Randy, time for you to leave. All right. Get the fuck fool's gold, man. Randy, time for you to leave. All right. Get the fuck out of here, man.

Why is everyone so fucking hurt by each other? What do you mean? You are being awfully nasty. I just don't like them, okay? Why don't you just cast out your fishing rod of love, man, and reel them in? You guys fucking fish for love, man. I'll go fishing with you, Julian. Get the...

Randy, leave. I'll go in the front, Julian. Get the... Randy, leave. I'll go in the front of the boat. You can go in the back. He's going to... Yeah. You just smell. You know what? If you do shower, I can tolerate you.

But you're a good paddler with your big muscles. He's going to drop his lure right down the front of your underwear. I got like a little... I got a little tiny boat. It's only six feet long. Randy, if you could cast a lure at Julian, where would you try to put it? Oh, I'd try to get him in the mouth to catch him. Oh, my fuck.

How'd you like Randy's big hook in your mouth? Oh, man. I'm one of the leaves. Like, seriously. Fishing would be good activity. What are you going to use, a torpedo? A what? Torpedo.

It's a lure. No, you just go fishing with worms. He's going to put his worm in your mouth. Put his worm on her. Put his worm in your mouth and try to hook you. I'm leaving. His expanding worm lure. This is the deal.

I'm either leaving or he's leaving. Julian, you can bring your drinks out in the boat. Shut the fuck up. I'm never going to go fucking bowling with you. He's going to use his Randy Yamamoto on you. I thought you were gonna go fishing. His worm, his rubber worm. Okay, I'm probably gonna go back to my shed and start working on that t-shirt.

Get the fuck out of here. You can hang out with your buddy all day, Rick. Alright, well, I better take these. I can make a salad with these later. You're not gonna make a salad, Randy. Yeah, these might be good on a cheeseburger, actually. Well, they would be, but don't fucking try to say you're cooking on a salad. Put the smoked paprika sauce on there. Don't you just feel healthy?

Like, that's gotta be the healthiest thing you've eaten in weeks. But I think this would all go well on a cheeseburger. Alright, guys. Thanks for the sauce, Randy. Thanks a lot. Julian, I'll call you later for fishing. Shut the the sauce, Randy. Thanks a lot. Julian, I'll call you later for fishing. Shut the fuck up, Randy. All right.

Let's go, Ricky. Okay, well, I guess that, is that it, Ricky? Yeah. Ah, Fred, you want to do something fun? What? See ya. Fuck off. All right, I'll do it.

Just let me get super baked. Thank you.