Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 13 - Everyone Friggin' Smile, Randy's Here

Episode Date: August 22, 2022

Randy's in the trailer and happy as f**k, but he's p*ssing off Ricky and Julian! Before they duct tape his mouth shut, they discuss Friends with the Benedicts, chicken balls, and unravel a f**ked family feud! Also: Louis, Louie and Looly?!

It's great to be here guys! Fuck Jesus. I can't believe we gotta deal with you again. Why do we though? Why do we have to deal with him? Bubbles asked me to come in. Where the fuck is Bubbles? Apparently he's taking his cats on another fucking field expedition because he said he enjoyed it so much last time.

Have you ever been in one of those moods where you just don't want to deal with certain fucking people? You don't even want to look at them and see them, smell them, fucking have them pointing at you? Turn your frown upside down, Julian. Oh, fuck. Because I made some notes. I went and I used a computer.

National Smile Week, Julian. I'm going to duct tape your fucking mouth shut in a second. Do it. Show your baby blues. No, you fuck off. Yeah. Don't ever refer to my eyes as my baby blues. I can see you've got a little smile going.

Smile Week. Everyone smile. If you leave, I'll smile. Well, I thought you guys would be happy that actually I made a few notes to make this. Oh, let's hear your fucking great notes, Randy. You actually prepared a little bit, didn't you? I did. Well, I thought I should be.

I see that you've got notes. So I went, I used my friend's computer. So there's a lot of stuff that happens, like, at this day. It's the 19th, right? Yeah, fucking summer's almost gone. Sucks. Balls. We'll even talk about it.

You know what? Spring, fall's going to be good. We're going to make lots of money in the fall. I like the fall. I'm going to call. I'm not talking to you right now, am I? It's very nice here in September, right? So did we, we got you learned on a few here in September. Right? So did we...

We got you learned on a few things last time. Now you're even fucking showing up making notes. I'm somewhat impressed. Only a couple. I'm a bit impressed here, Randy.

And I even drew a smiley face right there. That's for smile day. That's the only smile you're gonna get in this room today. Julian, just hit me in the eye.

Fuck off, Randy. For freaking sakes. Here, I can fix it. Let's burn him. Ricky. No. eye. Fuck off, Randy. For freaking sakes. Here, I can fix it. Let's burn him. Ricky. No, Rick. Frig off, guy. Come on now.

Now. Listen. What the freak is this? This isn't a ranch. God damn it. Some of that fucking hair. Fucking removed. You hit me with that again, I'm going to ram this right up your fucking ass.

Julian, you. No, actually, I'm not going to do that. It's an adjustable wrench. I think I'm rapping on you right up your fucking ass. Julian, you... No, actually, I'm not gonna do that. It's an adjustable wrench. I think I'm rapping on you if I do that. I think you should manscape your breasts. Manscape the hair into, like, a bikini top. I also read that it's... I think it's some sort of grooming week or something.

And I've got a nice haircut. Look, look. My sideburns got done around the ears. Look how it's all tapered. I'm not looking. I don't give a fuck Look how it's all tapered. I'm not looking. I don't give a fuck, Randy. Looks good. Look, I'm handsome.

And when you smile, you look even better, Julian. Well, that's nice to know, Randy. What did you do to prepare for today? What did I do? I came in and sat down and mixed a drink, and here I am. What do you mean prepare? Well, aren't you supposed to try to entertain everybody? And I'm just doing this for the free booze.

So go ahead and start entertaining people. Well, it's not just my job. You could start it off. Guess whose birthday it is today. Yours. No, it's not my birthday, but one of the most handsome guys on TV. Oh, God. Julian.

Shut up, Ricky. Is it your birthday? It's not my fucking birthday. You are one of the most handsome guys on TV. Shut up. When you smile, Julian. No, no, no. Not even fucking close, man.

You got the tough guy look. No, this guy, he was on that sitcom, I'll tell you. Friends. He's on Friends. One of the three guys. Doey? Three guys. Doey? I'll tell you. Friends. He's on Friends. One of the three guys. Doey? Doey? I mean, Joey.

Joey. Joey is very handsome. It's Matthew Perry. Matthew Perry. The guy that played Chandler. He's from Ottawa, isn't he? Who cares?

If it was Jennifer Aniston, let's talk about her birthday, the guy that played Chandler. He's from Ottawa, isn't he? Who cares? Is he Canadian? Who cares? Now, if it was Jennifer Aniston, let's talk about her birthday, but it's not her birthday, is it? Well, I like Ross, too. Ross was, he was handsome, but he was kind of nerdy.

Okay, out of, there's Ross is what, the guy that was banging Jennifer, right? Aniston, that character? I thought it was that character. I think they were both teeing off on her at one point. I think they were, who else was teeing off on her?

They were making love, Julian. They didn't just bang. No, he was banging the shit out of her. Well, they just bang. No, he was banging the shit out of her. Well, they were friends. He definitely wasn't banging the shit out of her. That's why it's called friends. He's too fucking nerdy or whatever, man. So you got him.

You got the guy that's kind of like Ricky. He's got a brain thing. The smart guy. Well, yeah. Who's that guy? He called him Doughy, but he's Joey. Joey. And who's the other guy?

Who's this guy here? Chandler. Chandler. Chandler. So out of the three of those, which person would you be mostly sexually attracted to? Well, I do like Chandler. So he's number one. He's smart.

Who's number two? I'd say, well, yeah, Joey. Because he's just funny. So what is it about Ross that you don't like? He's just too nerdy. And he gets the hottest chick out of all of them, right? Who? So what does that tell you?

Which one did he get? He was banging the Jennifer Aniston one. I don't think he was after. They broke up, though. He had a kid with some other. I watched the whole fucking, when we were in jail, I watched the whole thing. He was banging this chick. He knocked her up.

She became a lesbian, right? And then he started pounding on Jennifer. Phoebe's songs are funny. Oh, yeah. Yeah, she's, you know what? She had good songs. She was hot, man. Did she have a smelly cat or something? A smelly cat? Yeah, she did. I don't know a smelly cat song.

And what's that guy from that Full House show? I don't think? That handsome guy. That handsome guy on full house. They were all handsome, weren't they? The guy on full house with the dark black hair. Samos or Stamos? What was it? Stamos.

Stantos. Yeah, I think that's it. It's his birthday too. 1963. 1963. Yeah, Matthew Perry was born in 69 69 69 is good good year so he's what 54 or something 53 anyway i thought that was who cares man okay so that's all you had for us no i've got another one on there because well bubs isn't here and I know he likes the Beatles. And All You Need Is Love

was number one back in 1967. Randy's notes. August 19 stuff from the web. I looked it up and wrote it down. Everything positive. Smile week. All you need is love. You're nicely groomed. You're the perfect fucking human

right now. I love the fucking second chest. That'd be awesome. Well, I guess we're all done then. Let's leave. That's it? That's all we have to do? That's all I really want to do, but unfortunately, I guess we do have to do more.

I like this bagpiper. Oh, man. I was reading about this story this guy ended up uh he's uh he has to pay this chick 1150 bucks his girlfriend okay she took him to court because they got in a big argument she was buying all kinds of shit and he she was he was like honey we gotta fucking stick to our budget here you're buying like like fucking Louis Vuitton bags and shit. So they got into a fight. He takes her bag and pisses in it.

So he's got to pay her $1,150. Probably a bag that he bought for her. Is that fair? It's not really fair, but you know, what is impressive is the amount of famous things from Louis. What? What the fuck are you talking about?e louis i'm talking about louis baton man the bags yeah but i'm talking about joe joe louis cakes in canada they're the best cakes going the chocolate is that why they call it the arena what arena the joe louis arena in detroit

no i forget what i'm talking about a fucking bag here. I'm not talking about fucking Vacheron cakes and arenas. But also there was like that Louis guy that played the trumpet. And his cheeks went right out when you'd be like, wasn't that his name? Yeah, I think you're right. He was a good guy. Don't do that about me, man. Fuck. There's a French horn over there if you want to try it. Yeah't do that on me, man. Fuck.

There's a French horn over there if you want to try it. Yeah, go blow something else back there. I know, I can't. I used to play, I played the saxophone. So here's, this would be fucked up. This family in New Zealand, they went to one of those storage auction things. They bought a pile of this shit from one of the units,

take it home, and they realized it kind of smelled a little bit. There was a bunch of suitcases on the pallet. They opened the fucking things up, and it's full of human remains. Oh! Fuck, that'd be gross. What?

Yeah, it's a nice thing to fucking buy. At which stage were these remains? Were they, like, still skin and shit on them? I would say pretty bad. Just bones. Stank. Just moldy old fucking parts. Freak your fucking kids out, though.

Kids, let's go open up these suitcases. I don't think I want to get any of those deals in on this stuff. I wonder if they're going to be able to find who the fuck was in there. Yeah, if they got the teeth in there. Because they look, they have x-rays of teeth and stuff. You can't just go through everyone's fucking teeth. You need to find a missing person or something first. You need to find something, Randy.

You need what, more than teeth? I don't know. You're just going to go to every dentist's office and get every fucking teeth record and see if it's a match? Well, if someone was missing, maybe then they'd put them in the filing cabinet or something and they'd just go like the FBI. You know how many people go fucking missing randy

who's the fbi in canada is there no we have ceases it's pretty impressive that you know that man i'm paranoid of those fucks they're always listening in ceases it's not really like the fbi it's more like the cia i thought it was a census service i got a story for you about the FBI. You know that song, Louie Louie? Not the Louie Louie chicken. Oh, so there's another Louie. That's a theme today.

They investigated that fucking song for three months because they thought there was some dirty shit in it and then they couldn't make out the lyrics or something, so they stopped. Like, what the fuck? That's a nice use of taxpayers' money. They fucking investigated Louie Louie the song. Or fuck back then.

And then you got the census people, the count people, just to make sure that the counts are right. Because you need to know that. So you got CSIS, which is the FBI of Canada, and the census counts people to make sure that they've got the right numbers. What the fuck do they have to do with one another, Randy? I mean, just to grab something out of the fucking air and join it onto something you're talking about? That makes no sense.

But then you've got the tax people. What are they? Taxpayers? Canada Revenue? That's them. They are. You've got to pay them. How the fuck do we get talking about this and FBI and shit?

We're talking about Louie Louie and FBI. Jesus Christ, man. I know, I feel like a Joe Louie cake right now. Of course you do. That's all you fucking think about. Smile, Julian. Man. Yeah.

This is another... This person probably needs to be fucking beat. This mother's daughter kept running away, so she actually called Child Protective Services, and they went and met with the 14-year-old girl, and she actually videotaped this, so it's real. She's just complaining she has no money and everything else. The Child Protective Services employee recommended

that she become a prostitute. What? Yes. That's fucking bad. To the fucking 14-year What? Yes. To the mother? To the fucking 14-year-old girl. To the 14-year-old. Yeah. She should be fired then.

No, she's fired. Yeah. Fuck, I'd be fucking pissed. She should become a prostitute, honey. Everything's great. The girl was so shocked. She's like, can you say that again? And she videoed it.

It was a female employee, too. Do we have that video? Can we watch it? It's probably not because she's underage. I'd be fucking pissed, though. No, the counselor that was asking her the questions. I don't care about the fucking kid. I'm pretty sure it's online.

I want to see someone that's really dumb, probably dumber than you. What do you call it when somebody's not right in the head? Like they're deranged? Fucked? Deranged. Is that what it is? Of course, yeah. What do you think? That counselor was deranged. Fucked in Deranged. Is that what it is? Of course, yeah. What do you think?

That counselor was deranged. Fucked in the head is better. Yeah. But you shouldn't be swearing. And a whole list of other words you can't use anymore. Okay. Is there, what do you mean? Who's telling you you can't use words?

Society. What words are you talking about? You can say them right now. Nope. Why not? Get in trouble. Fuck. Is that a bad one?

No, you can still say fuck. Well, you can't say that anywhere. You're on there. Where is this? Okay, you throw one out. You can say whatever you want. Let's hear your swear, Randy. I say frig.

No, I don't care. The frig's not a swear word. I don't know if you're allowed to say horse cock or not. That's kind of, that's a bit hear your swear, Randy. I say frig. No, I don't care. The frig's not a swear word. I don't know if you're allowed to say horse cock or not. That's kind of, that's a bit of a swear, yeah. That's why if you say sweet and sour chicken balls, people just think you're hungry. Right? And it's, you know, you just.

What? Sweet and sour chicken balls, you know? Like, that's. Oh, when you get mad, you think about. That would be like a chinese food what if what if there was a chicken running around with his balls dangling you covered him sweet and sour sauce and it's sweet sour chicken balls you're just looking at what then it's a little more gross i don't think chickens have balls i think they have like like roosters have

a little neck thing their balls are are in that? Their balls are, I think they're inside them. Brady, no, you don't seriously think the thing, the little gobble gobble thing. No,

that's a neck scrotum is what that is. And you think there's nuts in there? No, that's for the vocals. That's where the rooster goes the cock-a-doodle-doo.

So you, there's no balls in there or there is balls? Maybe you're not sure? No balls, Julian. Okay. You just don't see balls hanging from a bird, like ducks and seagulls and chickens.

Have you ever grabbed a hold of one of those fucking roosters and tried to grab it? No, I'm a little bit scared of chickens because they're, well, they're pecky. They'll peck you if they don't know you. Doesn't an octopus have nine balls? No, eight arms. Or tentacles.

It's got some fucked up things with it, man. Like a bunch of brains. A bunch of stomachs. Maybe it's brain something. Might have eight balls. Let's check it out. But the octopus has... Does the octopus have ink?

Does it spray? Yes, it sprays fucking... Shoots out an ink, man. I thought it was a squid. Yeah, does the octopus have ink? Does it spray? Yes, it sprays, fucking shoots out an ink, man. I thought it was a squid. Yeah, does squid have ink too? Maybe they're- That's why they used to call your mama the octopus. No, they did not call her mama. That's because she could jerk off, eat, gossip.

That's not true, Ricky. Well, so could he. Take that back. She would not do, Julian, you guys, you're making my smile go away. Well, okay, here we go. You know what? I like how when you start typing it and then it finishes the sentence. Does that mean that it's word good?

It's going to actually tell us? How many balls does an octopus have? Okay, they do have testes. Sperm duck is there. There's only 1.5 millimeters in diameter. What the fuck? Just tell me a a yes or no and how many but is it i thought mammals were the only thing with balls are you saying that fish and and lizards and stuff have balls what the fuck i don't fucking know what do you mean you know i'm talking about only mammals did you say? Only one is bald? Mammals, like mammals, you know, like elephant nuts and moose and stuff.

What the fuck is he? Are you serious, man? No, I mean, there's got to be, like, the sperms for the egg, but I've never seen fish balls. Fish are sleek. Doesn't a shark have a nut's eye? They definitely could have a fucking set of nuts. Well, I've seen, like, you can sort of see vaginas and stuff on some whales

and dolphins and shit. Sharks. Sharks have those other fish that suck them off. Sucker fish. They don't suck them off. They suck them. They cling onto them. They suck it onto them. They eat little bits and fucking leftovers. Fuck, man. They're eating like dead skin and shit. They're not trying to

suck it off. On some whales, they go underwater on the reefs and wipe off barnacles. The barnacles stick right to them. I don't even know what the frick those things are. Shells. They got the biggest cock of anything on Earth. A whale? No, a barnacle.

It's the only thing I know about. For its size, yeah. I have seen an elephant penis. I went to the zoo. What did you think? It was a little scary, actually. You saw a whale cock? No, elephant.

Oh. It folds down out of them. It comes out, and then you had to take a piss. It just went everywhere. It was like a hose, like a fire hose. Did it gross you out, scare you, or intrigue you? It was intriguing. It was like a hose, like a fire hose. Did it gross you out, scare you, or intrigue you? It was intriguing. It was intriguing.

Nature's very interesting to me. If you ever kill somebody and you're on the run, here's what you don't do. You don't go to a McDonald's with your fucking wife and get in an argument with the employees over cold french fries. This stupid fucking guy, Antine sims in georgia he's a murder suspect on the run gets in a fight at mcdonald's over his cold french fries

he calls the police to complain that they're not they're around please come and see that he has a little ankle bracelet on. Fucking arrest him. Stupid guy. Just because he had cold french fries now he's in jail for murder. Fuck, people are stupid. Should have just microwaved him maybe. Then that would have been warmer. Fuck, man.

When you're a murder suspect on the run you don't complain about cold french fries and call the police. What a dumbass. I would never call the police, but I would complain to the people that the fries are cold. I think they even offer new fries and he's still fucking pissed off. Well, he should have taken them. The manager's like, I'm going to call the police. He goes, no, no, no, I'll call the fucking police.

Ever notice how usually when you get fries, there's extra fries in the bottom of the bag? Like, they just fall out. So you always check the bottom of the bag to get extra fries. That's a great tip. That's what I do. Like, I'm reading the shit. Are you still reading about octopus balls? Balls, yeah.

One person said eight. Really? This is what you said, so I'm fucking saying. I got a ball in each arm. I'm trying to. But another person said one. Excuse me. This doesn't make any sense, man.

I'm impressed that you're putting in some effort, Julian. Well, this is for Ricky, because if he's right about this, his IQ's going up, man. I doubt that. No, it is. I'm telling you, man. You are getting, like, a lot smarter. See, I thought Bowles was going to be here.

This is a fucked up headline. Headline says, Father-in-law uses cat to masturbate. What? Father-in-law? Yeah. What does he, like, wraps it around? Well, it's exactly what he does. This woman was like, why the fuck does my father-in-law keep going to my bedroom all the time?

So she installed a little camp. Oh. Go out of the bedroom. And he would grab the cat by the sides and just fucking twist it around. He said he liked the way the fur fell. And it shows him, you know. He's just sitting there then and he's got the cat wrap legs up this way or legs down this way i didn't see the video just so that he wrote grabbed the sides and kind of wrapped so it's like one of those pillows you wearing a fucking

on an airplane i guess so he's got the cat and she's like what the fuck are you doing he's like i just i like the way the fur he said it's a just, I like the way the fur felt. He said, it's a guy thing. I like the way the fur felt. It's a guy thing. So she called the police. And his defense, the police was, he's like, it's not like I penetrated the fucking thing. I'm like, Jesus Christ.

I just used it to jack off. I used the. What would the cat think? I don't know if the cat liked it, do you think? Or like it was like a massage or. It'd be kind of weird though. if the cat liked it, do you think? Like it was like a massage or? Kind of weird, though. The cat probably liked it, man. He's probably thinking, look at this.

He's giving me lots of attention. You're taking a risk, though. We've got to ask Bubbles this question. That cat could have clawed the fuck out of his unit. Which is why I'm thinking he liked it. Oh, he liked the pain. Cats don't fucking tolerate bullshit, man. So you think as this has

happened the cats purring which probably yeah probably turned them on even more like a vibration going on down there like a dildo oh wow it's the opposite of a dildo it's like uh i just don't know if fleshlight is it cruelty to animals, though, to do that to that poor cat. I mean, you'd have to get the cat shampooed or something before you pet it again, I would think. How many times a day is he doing this to the cat? It sounds like more than once a day. No way. He's an old fella. She said he made frequent trips to her bedroom.

And if I was a friend or a relative or something to this guy and I was actually petting that cat, sued. No, but cats lick themselves clean, so. Yeah. Jesus. They have those tongues, you know. Sandpaper tongues. Have you ever been licked by a cat, Julian? Have you ever been licked clean?

I'm clean. I showered. I was grooming. Look. Look at my hair. See? Oh, nice. We got to get off this subject.

I can't. This is disgusting. That's a pretty freaked up one, Ricky. I got to get off this subject. I can't. That's a pretty freaked up one, Ricky. All right, well, let's talk. I got two more we can talk about. It's a freaked up one. I don't know. I wouldn't like that. This is something that happened a while ago, but it's just gone viral.

Viral? Viral. This groom, they get married. They're having the big reception. And the groom plays a video of his bride having sex with her brother-in-law. Whoa. At the fucking reception. Whoa, how'd that go?

What happened after that? She was banging this pregnant sister-in-law's husband, I guess. He goes, you think I didn't know about this? So I don't know if they're still fucking married or what, but it seems like an awful lot to go through and a lot of money needs to be spent

to expose your wife's affair. Wow. All right, is it easier on you if it's your brother banging her or is it harder? No, I don't think it was,

I don't think it was related to him. It was her sister. Oh, it was her? It was her sister-in-law's husband. I'm getting confused. So she must have had a brother. It's confusing, isn't it?

Well, yeah. I'm saying these edibles you gave me are fucking kicking in now. I know. Me too. Full tilt. Okay. So you got a dude. He's about to get married.

Oh, he's married. He went through with it. Yo, he married her. And at the reception, he plays the video. Oh, fuck. He played through with it. Yo, he married her. And at the reception, he plays the video. Oh, fuck. He played it for everybody? Everybody. But why would you go through with the wedding?

Unless it was already paid. That's what I'm saying. Maybe it was already paid for. But then still, if he wants to get divorced, then he gets to go through that fucking shit show. So Buddy's brother banged her, right? Is that the video? I can't figure it out.

It said pregnant sister-in-law's husband. But if that was her brother, see, it doesn't make sense. Oh, man. So the sister-in-law, okay, that's his wife-to-be. That's her sister. Okay, so it must be his sister's husband. Yeah, so no no they're okay so close close they're not brothers no that's what i say because would that make it easier

it's like ah bro you banged my wife just don't do it again man it's a fucking shitty situation wow because the sister's gonna be fucking pissed off too i would think but isn't she pregnant yeah because she looks like a slut now, basically. Well, whose baby is it, though? She went through it. Do they know? Baby? Who the fuck?

When did the? The baby didn't have the fucking affair. No, but you said. Where did the baby come from? There's a pregnant sister-in-law. Oh, she's pregnant. By her husband, I'm assuming. He just fucked around on her.

Might have been from the brother. Or something. Sister-in-law's brother. Who do you know? You know what? I really regret talking about this one. No, no. So it's the woman about to get married, right?

Her fucking... She fucked around. She didn't about to get married. She got married. She got married. And at the reception, the video of her fucking sister-in-law's husband. Oh, okay. I thought the sister-in-law was banging someone, too.

And we don't know the end of the story, which sucks. It might be a happy ending. I don't know how there'd possibly be a happy ending. I just don't understand. Where are they from? Like, why wouldn't he play the video right before they say their fucking vows? It'd save you a whole lot of headaches down the road. You know what? Maybe he just loved her. Unless he's just like, okay. He just a whole lot of headaches down the road. You know what?

Maybe he just loved her. Unless he's just like, okay. He just loved her and said, hey, honey. I still went through with this, even though this happened. This shit happens. And I just played that video right now. So everybody knows you fucked around and you should. Everyone knows you're a fucking filthy.

Maybe everybody knows you're a filthy hag. There's a lot of things I want to call it right now, because that's, like, don't, like, come on. Don't get married. Sounds like a confusing situation. Sounds like a fucked up family. I don't know why that would go so virally, like you're saying. Well, we just finished talking about it for 20 fucking minutes, okay?

Because we were just trying to figure out who was banging who. The video shows the fucking bride and groom at the table, and the video's playing right behind them. Oh, that's, oh, okay? Because we were just trying to figure out who was banging who. The video shows the fucking bride and groom at the table and the video's playing right behind them. Oh, that's old. Okay. This is something else

that was fucked and I think I'm going to borrow. There's a funeral in California. California. California. California. California right here.

Whoa. You're smiling now, Junior. Shut up. It's not you. It's eight to 20 family members, armed, got in a fucking crazy brawl. Yes.

Started with the brother and sister. I guess they hate each other. So brother and sister's boyfriend get into it, and then the brother gets into a fucking car and tries to run the sister down. Misses her, hit a couple other people and a bunch of gravestones. And the casket. Oh, no. Of the fucking mother that's being down. Mrs. Hur hit a couple other people and a bunch of gravestones and the casket.

Oh, no. Of the fucking mother that's being buried. Yeah, tipped that over and fucked it all up. Oh, fuck. Then he broke a water main. Yep. No way.

Then he broke a water main and flooded the whole fucking area. No. With a fucking poor mama floating around dead as fuck. What a fucking shit show. Horrible, man. Yeah.

At least my family's not that fucked. Must have been a... Jacob's pretty fucked, but... It's a pretty emotional fucking funeral, man. That's what it sounds like in too many drugs. That's all a feuding. Maybe too much booze. Family feuds.

Chilling is what it is. Just like the Hatfields and McCoys. Fighting. Oh, but that's with you. The way we used to be with fucking Lady, right? It's true. That's a gun of shit, man. Sometimes people just go off the fucking rails.

Yeah. I bet you liquor had something to do with that. I bet you a lot of shit, though. It sucks. Crystal meth. Attempted murder with a deadly weapon. Drugs and liquor. Yeah.

And he got fucking charged for desecrating the gravesite. Maybe he frigged up his car, too. He frigged up his life, buddy. That's what he did. He could probably go to jail for that. He's going to definitely go to jail. Well. Is that it?

It's the second last Friday of August. Are you kidding me? Let's fucking light it up tonight. You got any more of those edibles? You're not hanging over this tonight, Randy. No fucking way. Come on, Julian. Nope.

Well, we need a break at least. A long, long break. See you tomorrow. I can make some cheeseburgers. I actually have a few extra. Have a little barbecue. All right, you can fucking whip up some burgers for us. Are they homemade or store-bought?

They're store-bought. Okay, good. But they're good ones. I don't trust where your hands have been. I wash my hands, even trim my fingers. Yeah, but you can't get off all that filth that you have in your life. No, there's a lot of really small things, like just stuck up in the fingernails. Gross, man.

For Christ's sakes, guys. All right, can we go? And can you please go? Go get the burgers. Get the barbecue fired up. All right. Send us a little fucking text or something and we'll... Give you 15 more minutes of...

We'll send somebody over to pick up some burgers. Pick up? Yeah. Just get someone to pick them up. No, no, no. Jacob's going to be by to pick up the burgers. Get out. We'll have a little like- And if they're good, they might see you for a drink afterwards.

No picnic. Unless you want to fucking- Watch an episode of Friends and an episode of Who's Your- Who's the Boss? No, that's not it. No, Full Host. Yeah, that's a great idea. I like it. Sounds like you got yourself a date, Ricky, because not me. I'm leaving. Have fun, boys. It's good to see you smiling, Julian, handsome.

It's edibles. All right, get the fuck out of my trailer, Randy. All right. Okay, sounds good. Ugh. To watch the video version of Park After Dark in my fucking trailer, go to SwearNet.com or download the SwearNet Trailer Park Boys app.

Fuck off.