Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 13 - Were You Born F***ed, Randy?

Episode Date: October 29, 2015

Randy takes over the TPB Podcast, and he's brought breakfast Dorito cheeseburgers! This week's topics include Canada's handsome new prime minister, green poop, and... cheeseburgers. RANDY!! Episode 13 is brought to you by Liquormen’s Ol’ Dirty Canadian Whisky!

What do you mean we're rolling? Yeah, no, anytime, bud. No, no, no, listen. Bubbles is not here yet. We're not doing this. I'm not doing this with him. All right? So, whatever.

This is the deal. You guys can keep fucking running this, do whatever. But this is part of the 30 fucking minutes we're going to be on air. Just so you know. So is the deal. You guys can keep fucking running this, do whatever, but this is part of the 30 fucking minutes we're gonna be on air. Just so you know. So, have fun. It's gonna be real exciting. Ricky. Get up. Get up.

Oh, wait. Ricky, get the fuck up. Oh, man. I am fucked. I can't do this right now. You got to do this because it's just you and i doing it this time where the fuck is bubbles i don't know where the fuck is bubbles well i'm sleeping till he fucking gets here well you know you've got to fucking all right i haven't been to bed yet i'm fucked do you think i've got much sleep last night i forgot about this fucking thing

today all right we got to talk about the sponsors Let's just get this out of the way. Liquorman's Whiskey. Everybody's buying it in Newfoundland. Good job. Keep drinking. Keep chugging it. Whatever. Do shots of it.

Tell everybody. Yay, Liquorman's. Keep buying. Who gives a fuck? If we get paid for this, you'll be given a fuck. So keep buying it, please. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Do you have anything prepared for today?

No, I fucking forgot about this thing. Normally, I'm the most prepared. Today, I have fuck all. You're not. You're never prepared for this. Oh, fuck. See, and this is starting to piss me off because, I mean, we've got sponsors that want us to do a good job in this whole podcast.

Yeah. And you're just doing shit all. Well, fuck. Hey, guys. Oh, fuck off. i'm not fucking dealing with you right now i'm too hung over you dick that's too bad ricky no no what are you doing swearing it called me up they said that i'm running the podcast today what the fuck are you talking about bubbles is running the podcast no he's not bubbles is not here i'm running the podcast and you're constantly fucked up so they want it to run right.

And they said I should come in. Look, they paid me in food. This is breakfast and I'm going to get more actually from lunch and supper and they gave me joints. This is like, I already smoked three but this is left over. Are you fucking kidding me?

Would you get that away from me, Randy? Was that behind your fucking ear? Yes. So it's covering ear slime and grease and ear shit. Here, Ricky, wipe that off. Use some of your toilet paper, wipe that shit off. I would fucking light that with a blowtorch, maybe. Well, wipe it off.

What a crazy head of toilet paper in front of you, Ricky. It's napkins, dumbass. What do you mean? I haven't been to bed yet. I still got my fucking cooler on from last night fucking baseball is killing me It's pretty good setup though. It's up to me in a bit See this is why swearingNet wanted me To come in today Because you're fucked Oh I'm fucked You're fucked

You're more fucked Than I'll ever be fucked I don't think so Were you born fucked Or did you just become fucked Over the years of fuckedness Ricky Just because I'm in charge

Doesn't mean that You know You have to be an asshole This whole podcast What the fuck do you got there This is like a breakfast sandwich With sausage and stuff Oh my fuck.

And a couple of Dorito chips. Where's ours? Yeah, where's ours? Listen, I don't know how you guys get paid from swearing up for these things, but they told me that I got breakfast, so. This is so fucking ridiculous. I can't even deal with this right now.

It's a lap nose. Take your fucking ear joint, put it over there. Thankfully, I got a real joint left over from Oz. Alright, so when do we start? We're waiting for Bubbles. No, Bubbles isn't coming. They told me that I'm doing it today and Bubbles isn't

coming. What do you mean he's not coming? Are you kidding me? I just said that Bubbles isn't coming and I'm running this. I forgot about this fucking thing and passed out. Julian has nothing fucking prepared. He's got his little fancy whatever the fuck that is. I just said that Bubbles isn't coming and I'm running this. I have nothing prepared. I forgot about this fucking thing and passed out. Julian has nothing fucking prepared. He's got his little fancy whatever the fuck that is. I'm not prepared, Ricky. I'm running this thing. I got my clipboard and everything's ready. This should be

fucking fantastic. Alright, you know what, Ricky? We're going to turn this into a positive. He's got everything ready. He's podcasting. Things are going to shit. Well, just get him to do it all. We're not going to have to do nearly as much work. Good. I'll go back to sleep. I don't give a fucking sleep cock about any of to shit. Well, just get him to do it all. We're not going to have to do nearly as much. Good. I'll go back to sleep. I don't give a fucking sleep. You're not going to go back to sleep.

I'm going to go back to sleep. Shit. See, Julian, this is why they wanted me in here. Because Ricky's dead. Did you shower today? Rick, I shower all the time. Did you shower today? Well, I showered last night.

Move the fuck over. I don't have to get stoned or I'm going to fucking kill you right now. I'm not sitting next to Rick. Get the fuck over there. Rick, off. All right, everyone. Welcome to the... Another good tip. If you not sitting next to Ricky. Get the fuck over there. Frick off. All right, everyone. Welcome to the... Another good tip.

If you feel like killing anybody, smoke a hash joint. It helps. Ricky, I was talking. I was... You'll be out of jail. Ricky. What?

Shut the frick up. Ready? Watch your fucking mouth or I'm going to tackle you. Just saying. How can you run a podcast with this? Get the fuck off.

Normally there's not a dick here, is there? But today we got one of the world's biggest dicks, and it's pissing me off. Until I get this in my lungs. Frank, don't fucking push me. You're too fucking close to me. Oh, don't put that fucking wall near me. I don't want him.

Get the fuck over there. Listen, I need room for my food, Julian. Can we start this? Oh, fuck. I can't wait. Can we camera guy? Give me some of that Ricky. I already did bud.

Just get it going. Alright, welcome to the podcast today everyone. My name is Randy. I'm the assistant trailer park supervisor of Sunnyvale Trailer Park. Jesus. Pleased to be here today. I've got some great news for you guys. Check this out guys.

Can't wait. I'm here. Did you talk about the sponsor? Liquormans? Oh, my fuck. Old dirty Canadian whiskey? Nobody gives a fuck.

Okay, well. Just keep it going. All right. Well, we got all kinds of good stories today, and Ricky, I even did think of you to talk about some

stuff. Thank you so fucking much. You didn't think of me when you ordered breakfast, did you? You fucking selfish little

Just take whatever you want, Ricky. I've only got about the breakfast sandwiches. Here, you can have one. That's it. You're seriously going to give me one of these? That's it, Julian. All right. I thought you were a fucking world's biggest dick.

Now you're the world's biggest second or third dick. Do you want a breakfast sandwich? You're moving down the list. Give me a breakfast sandwich. Four left. Is that the mustard? No, it comes with the sauce, but put some jalapenos on there. Who fucking puts mustard on breakfast sandwich, Ricky?

Might be good. Holy shit, this is... No wonder. No wonder what? What is it? No wonder Smosh. You weren't at once for me to come in and do this. This house is a strata if I still want to kill you.

Fuck. You're calling us? Are you going to start this? Okay. Oh, look at the Mr. Organized. I've got my fucking notes. Alright, everybody. I'm really impressed. So, what we have here is some great stories.

The first story is that Julian. Fuck off the first story is that julian fuck off first story is that canada has a new prime minister new prime minister everybody and his name is justin trudeau yeah justin trudeau he's uh he's one of the liberals he's 43 years old and uh and he's handsome and i think he's gay too actually what are you talking about he's handsome what do you mean he's handsome well he's got all his hair and and uh he's he's young and i think he's going to represent canada in a real real good way let's get back to the handsome part oh let's get back to the gay part you just can't go around calling the prime minister of canada gay randy that's that's I thought he was busy married with kids.

Well, he might be bisexual then, probably. But, I mean, that's the difference with that type of party and stuff. What are you talking about, Randy? So you think the prime minister's awesome because he's handsome and gay. Yeah, and he wants to make Canada a better place, too. He's married with three kids. We don't talk about politics on this, okay? How about the feds with this guy?

I guess we are talking about politics. Well, I'm worried about the dope thing. I'm just going to say it. Why are you worried about it? Well, unless he gives me a job, I'm out of a fucking job, right? Because if they start growing all their dope, it's probably going to be pretty good, hopefully, it won't be as good as mine. That's why I should hire me, but what do I do then?

You grow dope for the government, I guess. Hopefully. I mean, at least we won't get arrested, which is fucking awesome. It's stupid that we can't even carry fucking pot around. It is stupid, but this is the big question. Are they going to hire somebody that has a criminal record to grow dope for them? I don't think so, man. That's who grows the best dope.

Because now, under his new laws, I wouldn't even have gone to jail. So maybe he is. I'm not going to say he's handsome. He's got nice hair. Okay, so you want to bang the Prime Minister? I didn't say that. Would you? Just so you know, I just said that I think he's handsome and

he seems like he's a hard worker and he's probably bisexual. So, I mean, it means that he's in tune with everybody. It's my opinion. Okay. This day and age, if he was gay, would he just say, hey, guys, I'm gay? And everyone would still think he's fine.

I don't get it. That is true. Well, I think we should invite him to Sunnyvale Trailer Park. Or maybe he's just not gay, Randy we should invite him to Sunnyvale Trailer Park. Or maybe he's just not gay, Randy. We invite him to Sunnyvale Trailer Park for Community Day, Julian. Well, hopefully he's not going to fuck everything up. That's my point.

Whether he's gay or not, or handsome or bisexual, whatever the fuck you think he is, I hope he fucking doesn't screw the country up like the last guy. Fuck! All right, enough about the politics. His father was pretty awesome. My dad fucking liked him a lot.

Who's his father? You don't know who his father was? Mr. Trudeau, obviously. Elliot Pierre. Pierre Elliot Trudeau, man.

He was our private history, you dumbass. Yeah. Did you think he was sexy? Did you think he was gay?

I don't even, I don't even know. Well, that was a fun fucking great start, Randy. Great going, Randy. I'm really impressed so far. Well, it's a good start. They're just blown away.

They're probably having fucking car accidents listening to this shit. Well, some people around the world don't know that we have a new prime minister, and now we know that Justin Trudeau is that handsome bisexual guy. Do you want this? I'm good.

Good. I wasn't going to give it to you anyway, you fucking piece of shit. Randy, don this? I'm good. I wasn't going to give it to anybody, you fucking piece of shit. Randy, don't be fucking pushing it. You're lucky that I have a half of a hash toy to be right now. I'm not feeling that aggressive. If you fuck with me too much,

some shit will go down. Just so you know. And I think he could totally take you, so you probably should shut your mouth. Okay, alright right, guys. This warm beer is making me feel violent. Ricky, I'm about to talk about the next topic. The hash is kind of fighting it,

but the liquor's on this shoulder going fucking hit him. And the fucking hash over here is saying, not yet, just fucking let him say his shit. And just so you know, Randy, if he does fucking freak out on you, I'm not going to stop him. Okay? So don't be a dick.

Continue. Don't blame me for this. You better have some fucking good shit here, or you're kicked off the podcast for good. Okay, well, actually, I've got a story that I found, and I thought it would be interesting to you, and you'd actually be able to talk about it, because normally you're dumb. I don't even think you've got your grade 10 actually keep saying shit Randy you know drinking let's see what happens okay the next story that we have to talk about here today is some news about NASA all right who doesn't like NASA right

Jason I'm a fucking space story man well this is this is interesting because those people are saying that they want NASA to stop holding press conferences until they discover some little alien guys. What the fuck are you talking about? Well, apparently people are getting pissed off. Like, they don't want them to be talking about, you know, oh, we found a black hole or we found water on Mars and stuff like this. People are just saying, look, if you find aliens, put it in the news.

But I like hearing about stuff like water on Mars. That's kind of a little shit, I think. It's useless fucking shit that's wasting space in our brains, in my opinion. I agree with whoever the fuck said this. It's stupid. Oh, fuck, we found another star. We found another planet. Who gives a fuck?

I can't see them. I don't care. What, are we going to live there someday? Do I have to remember the name of these fucking things that are named with numbers and shit? No, I don't give a fuck. Save our planet instead of, you know... I agree. Until you find some fucking aliens or spaceships

or other worlds or whatever, fuck off. You don't need to hear from me. It's a waste of time. I have to say, Ricky, I disagree with you. I disagree. I think the story's fucked anyway. I think NASA should be telling us about all kinds of stuff. That's why that telescope's up there. Tell me this, Randy. Do you think there is actually

little alien guys running around up there? I've seen that. Well, Julian, every time you look up into the sky at night and you see a star twinkling, that star is really a sun. And that sun has got all kinds of other planets circling around it.

It's just like, not like around it and just the it's just like not like our solar system but it's you know kind of different but anyway every one of those is a whole solar system Julian so there's probably there's probably aliens out there I mean maybe they're eating like alien cheeseburgers and stuff you are fucked I'm gonna sleep down man You are fucked. I'm going to sleep. You're so fucking dumb, man. Then there is aliens. Just fucking do a lot of mushrooms or

put LSD in. That's when you fucking can see them and communicate with them. Ricky, that's called hallucinating, bud. Or is it? It is. Or? It's a drug. It's an hallucinogen. You're fucking hallucinating. Or it's all real and no one's telling you the truth. You're probably just looking at Corey thinking he's an alien because you're hallucinating, man.

Well, whatever it is, I've seen them. They exist. They don't exist. They might exist. You're fucking more stupid than I'll ever try to be. Okay. All right. The next topic that we have to talk about here on this wonderful podcast

is all about burgers and cheeseburgers oh my fuck they're my favorite food there's some groundbreaking news well this is very interesting and a lot of people out there like burgers that's what it's the way it goes right you like cheeseburgers right julian i yeah i'll have a cheeseburger every now and then exactly well did you know that there's a national cheeseburger day oh I think that's the smartest smartest day in the world for you that's every fucking day isn't it no no it's actually on September 18th is that a national cheeseburger day national like the world? Well, yeah. Everyone in the world on that fucking day is supposed to eat a cheeseburger, and then what happens?

Well, it's just the day the cheeseburgers are worshipped and appreciated. I mean, think about it. Why? Wouldn't that be International Cheeseburger Day? Why that day? Is this taking place in Canada or just the United States? Why'd they pick that day? I don't know. It's probably because it's like the end of summer type thing and it's nice out. No?

What day did you say it was? September 18th. It's still summer, bud. No, the last day of summer is, I think, the 19th. Which means it's still summer, you dumbass. So it's to celebrate the end of summer. Everyone eats a fucking cheeseburger. Yeah.

It's all good. Fuck, Randy. What about in the North Pole? It's not summer. They're not celebrating the end of summer. They don't give a fuck. Well, it's all good. Fuck, Randy. What about in the North Pole? It's not summer. They're not celebrating the end of summer. They don't give a fuck. Well, it's good. It says Americans. They're talking about America.

America's favorite sandwich is celebrating its heritage on the 18th of September. You've just proven something, Randy. You've just proven that Ricky's way fucking smarter than you because you are really dumb. I've been saying it my whole life.

Oh, I made a mistake here. I apologize to the world. This day is different from National Cheeseburger Day, which is the 27th of August. They want to make it a heritage day or something. I didn't read the story in full. Hold the fuck on. So there's a National Hamburger Day and a National Cheeseburger Day within a couple weeks of each other. Well, yeah. The 27th of August is just the end of August.

This is probably the lamest piece of information ever put out on the airwaves. Thank you, Randy. Congratulations, Randy. I'm going to have a cheeseburger picnic. Today is National Fucking Dumbass Day, and you are the president. Listen, it's not my fault here, guys. This is not... I'm just to have a cheeseburger picnic. What a great fucking story. Today is National Fucking Dumbass Day, and you are the president. Listen, it's not my fault here, guys.

This is not... I'm just bringing some stories. I mean, people are interested in cheeseburgers. Oh, fuck. People probably are writing all these fun facts down, so next year they can just celebrate like crazy. I'm sure. I know I am.

They even got an app you can download on your phone. I mean, that's pretty impressive, I think. They've got an app? Yeah. Oh, phone. I mean, that's pretty impressive, I think. They've got an app? Yeah. Oh, my fuck. Just so you don't forget? Well, I mean, the whole thing is a cheeseburger should be celebrated. You don't need a knife and a fork to eat a cheeseburger.

You know, it's got all the food groups in it, dairy, bread. You've got your meat and your vegetables or your vegetable group. I mean, it's all in one thing. And plus, they're on every value menu, so you can go and get a cheap one, you know, cheaper than you can probably buy, like, fresh fruit. Randy, Randy. You know?

Randy, would you just shut the fuck up for a couple minutes? Are you done with the cheeseburger talk? No more cheeseburger talk. If you don't like mustard, you can get it without. Nobody uses it. It's a grill order. It's an easy thing to eat. But that would eliminate one of the food groups then, wouldn't it?

And not so healthy. Mustard isn't a food group, Ricky. How can you eat the fucking things every day? Let's just move on to the next story. Okay, the next story is also about burgers. Oh my fuck. I'm getting fucking pissed off now. Well, what do you want to talk about, Ricky?

I'm switching to cold beer because it'll make me even more violent. Keep talking, Randy. All right. do you want to talk about ricky i'm switching to cold beer because it'll make me even more violent keep talking randy all right the next burger story is burger king has introduced a halloween whopper that's awesome ghosts and witches and shit on it no it made its debut in japan because japan has the one of the highest cheeseburger intakes in the world j Japan. Yeah. You wouldn't think it, but they really like their cheeseburgers there. And now it's making its way to the UK, and the U.S. Burger King's famous Black Burger is causing quite a stir among local residents. Right? I guess the

burger's black, Julian. What do you mean it's black? It's black! How? Well, when it was created in Japan, this burger was made using black pepper to darken the buns and bamboo charcoal and squid ink to darken the cheese. Okay. That is the coolest thing about this.

That's disgusting. That's disgusting. Why? Squid ink. The bun has squid ink in it. No. Turn it black. Yeah.

Squid ink. You just darken the cheese. It's to darken in it. No. Turn it black. Yeah. Squid ink. You just darkened the cheese. It's to darken the cheese. Okay. You don't need much. Just a little bit, Julian. What the fuck do you want? I wouldn't eat anything black anyway.

That's fucked. Licorice? Fuck sakes. All right. Why would you want to get a black cheeseburger? Who gives a shit? Because it's Halloween, Julian. You know, like, Batman's black.

I thought you meant they had a fucking little witch stuck in the bun. A what? A witch or a fucking pumpkin or something. That's made of the Halloween cheeseburger. Not that they're going to make shit black. Fuck with you. They put, like, a little thing on a pen or something. Yeah. Hey. It's Halloween everyone.

The thing they put in steaks and shit. Instead of that they got fucking some weird drugs and said hey let's make everything black. That is so stupid. Just so what? You can't see it at night? Fuck off. I think it's great. The US version is going to be made using some A1 sauce. So why is there so much

hype about this? This doesn't even make sense. Because Halloween is a big deal. It's because everything's black. Yeah, and I guess apparently what some people said is that it turns your poop green. What? You have green poop if you eat this Whopper. You guys are kidding me. What do you mean it turns your poop green?

It's the Whopper. It's just because of the different stuff. So it's like color change and burger. It's because of of the different stuff. So it's like color change and burger. It's because of all the dyes and shit and the squid shit. If you eat corn, you get corn in your poop. Okay, why do you always end up why do you like talking about

fucking that shit? I don't understand this. So you eat something black and all of a sudden it's green. It's because of all the dyes. So it somehow changed color. Some kind of chemical reaction, I guess. Exactly. The squid ink mixed with your fucking stomach

shit. It might be because of the onion rings. It turns the black green and makes your poop green. Onion rings mixed with the black burger might... The onion rings are a different color, so the two of them combined. The colors are made from different colors, Ricky.

That's a fun little guess. Maybe you should do an experiment and see if that's true. I think the only color that doesn't have other colors in it is white, I think. I think white is just white. I've never had green poop. Boys, get one of these Whoppers. Have you ever had green poop?

No, I've had reddish poops when I ate beets. Okay. I'm not a big beaker. You know what? I can't do this. I can't. I'm not talking about that stuff anymore. Go get bubbles.

This is fucking ridiculous. Listen, just try the Whopper, everybody. Why not? Go for it. Do something different for Halloween. It's, uh, I think it'd be kind of cool to... Do something different for Halloween? Well, and you could have green poop, just like St. Paddy's Day, you know?

They turn the rivers green and do stuff like that. This would be like the first of November, Green Poop Day. St. Paddy's Day would make more sense. What does? They should have it then. The burger's not green, Ricky. The burger's black.

But it comes out green. But then it doesn't look like a burger. Well, then they should make the Halloween one green and it would come out black, which would make more sense. Boys, why are we still talking about this? I have no idea. Randy won't shut up about it. Well, you're bringing it back in to fucking play, Ricky.

It's no wonder SwearNet wants you not to be fucking things up. Good. I don't have to do one of these ever fucking again. I don't even want to. Wow. Give me a cup of free joints here and there. Oh, shit. I don't have to do one of these ever fucking again. I don't even want to. Wow. Give me a couple free joints here and there. I'm allowed to drink free beer, especially with sponsorship, which is not shitty.

We'll make money if people buy this pair of booze, okay? We'll buy a look at them as we might make some money. Do you have any fucking anything prepared that's not about cheeseburgers and handsome prime ministers or what? Today's special podcast is all about burgers and some NASA stuff.

You've got to be kidding me. All right, there's another story about the world's smallest burger. You heard about burgers breaking world records because they've been larger than life. You know, they're so big it takes hours to cook them and to finish eating it. Well, now they've come up with something different. Little mini burgers. Check this out. Look at this, Julian.

I don't give a fuck. Look at that. It fits in your hand. Let me see this fucking thing. It's a little tiny burger. It's got a little Coke. Why would you want that? Give me that.

Like, why? Okay, that's stupid. The burger is the size of a fucking toonie with a drink the size of a loonie and about five loonies tall. That's a shooter. That's fucking stupid. This burger would be great for, like, kids at recess or something. No, it's not even a mouthful. It's like it fits in the palm of your hand, Ricky, the whole thing. Whoever invented that is just trying to be a cute fuckhead.

That's stupid. No, it's just trying to be a cute fuckhead. That's stupid. No, it's just a burger and drink for dolls. Fuck, they got a whole bunch of little ones there. Fucking handlers. What's better than a Yugo? How many of those do you think you could eat? Well, you just do. You could eat what, Ricky? 7,000 of them. You know who would like that shit?

Fucking mini-me. Burn. He'd love that shit. They're like hors d'oeuvres. Making shit his size. I like the idea of little bite-sized burgers. They wouldn't make a mess. Yeah, but you would have to eat 417 of them. It'd be like you eating popcorn.

Think about it. Burger popcorn. I think it's a fantastic idea. I think you're being kind of a dick. It's the size of one of those fucking rich sandwiches, man. All right, if I make up some mini burgers, you're not going to have any. I'm not saying that.

But you'd have to eat a shit ton of them to fucking get full. I mean, how long would you cook them for? Half a second? It'd be like... Done. It'd take at least a minute, maybe two. It's too small.

It still has to cook, Ricky. Oh, whatever. You guys are fucking stupid. You're fucking stupid. I really can't wait till lunch. I'm gonna go get some burgers. You still got a big fucking bag of food right there. This is breakfast. What other fucking burger news do you got?

Jesus Christ. Small burgers, everybody. Is that it for the burgers? Please. Please. Please. Oh, I'm just kidding. I'm fucking getting close to that feeling now. I don't know.

I think that's about the end on the burgers. I think, fuck. I think. I'm getting just confused. See you're not prepared. You're just done. I am too. I got everything on my clipboard.

I swear to God if I send you here to host this thing again, I will fucking kill somebody. Whatever, Ricky. Found another story about rabbits. Great. Yeah, rabbits. You got bunny rabbits? This bunny rabbit looks like the size of a small horse. It says the world's largest rabbit gets competition from his own son. I guess his son has grown like a big bastard. But check it out. Look at this, Julian. That rabbit is as big as this. That's not a stuffed toy. Look, Ricky, give me this fucking thing. Holy fuck!

That's not real. That's a real rabbit. No, no, that's photococked. No, it's... Photo what? Photococked. It's when you take a photo and you fuck it around and cock it over. Photoshop tricky, I know that. Fuck off. That is like a six foot, one inch rabbit.

About a hundred and... Six foot, one inch rabbit? 106 pounds. That's fucking crazy. Great. Nice story fucking crazy. Great. Nice story, Randy. What's the point of this story? I don't know about this.

The thing, it says that his dad was 1M30. So that's not feet, Ricky. What the fuck are you talking about? Well, you were talking that he's 6 feet. He's not 6 feet. I can tell by looking at him how fucking big he is and what he weighs, Randy. I'm good at that shit. Fuck.

I don't know. It's his German giant, so they normally get up to 1.2 meters wide. I bet that cocksucker's going to become the Easter Bunny. Because the real Easter Bunny would be scared shitless of that fucking thing. This bunny has a dog hose. I think this is cool. Would you eat that bunny, Randy? I don't eat bunnies, dude. That's the question everybody wants to fucking answer. I don't eat bun hose. I think this is cool. Would you eat that bunny, Randy? I don't eat bunnies, dude. That's the question everybody wants to fucking

answer. I don't eat bunnies. You don't eat bunnies? No. Bullshit. I don't. If there was a bunny burger right here, right now, and it smelled fucking great, looked great, you would eat it. The only problem, if he was the Easter bunny, he'd scare the fuck out of the kids if they ever woke up. Imagine you wake up and your fucking bedroom

is a six-foot fucking raven there. you'd be like jesus fucking christ holy fuck it's gonna fucking eat me you really think there'd be like a bunny hopping around to everybody in the kids rooms and shit you have fucking heard of the easter bunny you gotta be kidding me rick come on are you fucking kidding me all right santa claus is one thing, but the fucking Easter Bunny? So when you got grown up, you never had a fucking egg hunt? I've never had an egg hunt, okay? Well, lots of kids do, and guess what? Where the fuck does that shit come from, dumbass?

From their parents. Yeah, right. Fucking parents stay awake late at night. Oh, yeah, okay. That's a fun little... I can't believe you fucking think the Easter Bunny is real. Fucking parents stay awake late at night. Oh, yeah, okay. That's a fun little thought there. I can't believe you thought that. I can think the Easter Bunny is real.

I just got a hashblower right through the bunny's head. You know what? I thought you were smarter than him, Ricky, but no. You're dumber than Randy. You just proved it right there. So smart and dumber than him, that's for sure. What do you think? You're smarter and dumber than me. Yeah. Yeah, I am. What do you think? You're smarter than me.

Yeah. Yeah, I am. What do you think, Julian? You're not smarter than me. What do you believe in? Anything? There's no such thing as Easter Bunny, man. You just believe in fucking whiskey and coke, rum and coke? That's your god? Makes sense. No, it's not my god.

You guys are both fucked. You guys are both fucked. You guys are both fucked. I am because right now you're smoking an ear joint. No, no. That joint's from the swearing out crew. They know. Then it got mixed with fucking oils and stink from behind your ear.

Waxes and different hair. This one? Shalax. Are you fucking kidding me? No, I don't want that fucking thing. It tastes fine, Julian. You guys smoke it halfway. That'll kill everything that's on it and in it, and then I'll maybe have a drag. All right, burgers, aliens, Easter bunnies, and handsome prime ministers, what a fucking day this has been.

And then I thought we could open up, you know, questions from the audience. There is no fucking audience. This is a podcast, you dumbass. Camera dick, sound's a camera dick. Sound dick. Producer dick. What? They can't ask us any questions? That's seriously all you fucking

brought with you. Well, yeah. It was a bunch of little mini-burger stories and cheeseburger days. And they sucked. All your stories were shit. He could probably use his machine there and pull up ten fucking things right now that would blow your shit out of the water. And I could. But guess what? It's time to go, so I'm not going

to. And Randy, thank you for the worst podcast ever. It's seriously time to go? Yeah. Are you sure? I'm done. We're at 30 minutes. I'm the fuck out of here. He stinks. He's stupid. You're not that smart, Ricky, as well. You proved it. I'm out of here.

Well, Julian, we're supposed to friggin... That still tastes like some kind of fucked up stink or oil or... Ugh. Jesus Christ. You're lucky I'm smoking that, because I was going to fucking tackle you. Thanks for the sandwich. It wasn't bad.

I don't know. It wasn't great. Ricky. All right, I think Julian's wrong. Like, we've got to sit here. We've got gotta thank our sponsor we already did thank them lickerman's old canadian dirty whiskey randy freaking you you look like shit on this ricky thanks for tuning in to the the podcast and i'm sure that uh sure you guys

are gonna enjoy this what the fuck are you doing, Ricky? I was trying to take this thing off so I could fucking fight you. You are so fucking stupid, Ricky. You're a fucking dumb. All right, are the cameras off or fucking taped? Yeah, I don't want to fight you on camera. I don't want to get fucking embarrassed.

Fight, boys. Get your friggin' on here. Get the shit out of here. Ricky! Friggin' on here! I don't want to be the shit of it. Ricky! Work on it, Ricky! Ricky! That's my food!