Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 132 - Holy Popcorn

Episode Date: February 26, 2018

Ricky worries there is not enough religion in the world so he sets up a shrine to Santa Jesus God and hands out holy popcorn.  The Boys talk about the Winter Olympics, and they bring Jeopardy back to the podcash! Episode 132 is brought to you by the official Trailer Park Boys Store, SwearNet.com (the only place to watch the video of this podcash), Liquormen's Ol' Dirty Canadian Whisky, and the Boys' own Freedom 35 lager!

Welcome to the Trailer Perk Boys podcast, brought to you in perkboysswearingit.com, the only place where you can see the video version of this podcast. Nice one. And go to trailerperkboysmerch.com and check out some merch, buy some stuff, please. They sponsor us too. What about the beer and the liquor? I was just getting to that, Richard. Also sponsored by Freedom 35, Drink the Dream, and Lickerman's all-dirty Canadian whiskey.

And a new beer is born. Try my new Ricky's Catch-23 malt liquor. It's stronger than you are. It's finishing my juice. You do that, bud. It's finishing my juice. You do that, bud. You're supposed to save this. I made this for something. The magic number, by the way, is two minutes and 25 seconds. Actually, probably two minutes and 20 seconds.

A little bit of burnt in there. What are you talking about? This is the bread that was fought for and given to you by the Lord. What? Ricky, what in the fuck are you doing? What drugs are you on? We're having fucking communion today. I think when you get more religious, the world is fucked. I don't think there's enough religion anymore.

Ricky? So? I don't, Ricky. I think it might be our only hope. What the fuck is this? It's like a little shrine. Oh yeah, you got a Marian baby Jesus shrine. Oh, yeah, you got a... You got a Mary and baby Jesus shrine. You're gonna put that on the set, are you?

Yeah, I am. It's time to get back into God, boys. Santa Jesus God. Where the fuck did you get that thing? Here we go. The body of Christ... Rick, I'm not... ...fought for and given to you.

You gotta do the, uh... Oh, my fuck, Ricky. No, this is... The body of Christ fought for and given to you. You gotta do the... Oh, my fuck, Ricky. The body of Christ fought for and given to you. You're acting like a dick, man. What are you doing? Ricky, that's not holy popcorn. I blessed it. She blessed it.

There you go. Ricky, that's an old plastic set of lights made in China with a baby Jesus that looks like he's a little bit, you know, off. There's a little door thing in the front there. That's for putting gifts in. You give those to the Jesus and then you get wishes. It's a good little gift fucking drawer. The blood of Christ fought for it and given it to you.

Here we go. What you... Ricky, that's vitamin water with liquor in it. That's vitamin water with liquor in it. It's holy liquor. All right. I feel better already. Day one of my new found...

We're gonna talk about this. Godliness. We are gonna talk about this. We're gonna talk about this. Do you wanna get this going? You always ask that. What do you think the answer's gonna be, no? Okay, I'm asking that because I want you guys to shut the fuck up for a second, okay?

So I can do it. Why don't you just say that? And by the way, I'm eating the rest of this because that's what they used to do at church. When the fucking people didn't eat all the bread or drink all the wine, then the main guy had to do it. The main guy, who's that? The guy that ran the show. At the church. The priest?

Yeah. He would eat the rest of At the church. The priest? Yeah. He would eat the rest of the fucking things. Well, he had many names. He was father, he was a priest, he was leader. So you think after church he was back there snacking on those awful little fucking compressed wafer fucking deals. That's part of the deal. They gotta eat the whole, they can't leave any.

Then it's a waste. And then you get bad things happen to you. So moon beam. So this god that you think is up there, if you don't eat his compressed Chinese wafers, he gets vengeful. Or you get fired, one or the other. Okay.

Are you finished? Can I do this now? Yeah, sorry. What the fuck's going on, fuckers? This is the official Trailer Prep Boys podcast. It's coming at you right now. Episode 133. This is Feb 23, 2018. Holy fuck, somebody's been reading up on proper numbers and dates this morning. 132.

What? It's number 132. Oh, fuck off. It's 133. Chipper fucked your head up. You asshole. Who told you I was Chipper? You said 133.

Well, he was fucking with you. See, that's why fact-checking. Fact-checking is very... In this day and age, with everybody screaming fake news, you gotta check your facts before you go public. Say and stop. Right there.

132. Do you believe in God again now? Ricky. Let's just get off the whole fucking topic, please. You know what we should talk about? Why are you not allowed... Moon Bear is religious, I bet, and he's not gonna be appreciative of that.

That's what I'm saying. I don't want to eat it. I don't even want to have snacks on here, but because what I'm saying. I don't want to eat it. I don't even want to have snacks on here. But because it's holy popcorn now, we've got to finish it or we don't get our free wishes. So that's why you're doing this? You got this thing out just so you can eat. So now it's getting there.

Now we have it figured out. Makes sense. You brought out the Jesus hardware so that you could fucking eat popcorn during the podcast. This is a total religious fucking thing. You don't even want to eat that popcorn, do you? No, I find it quite fucking disgusting, actually, because it's been blessed and it represents the body of our savior.

It's fucking popcorn, Ricky. It's not a body of anything. So, Ricky, if Joel Osteen walked in here right now with his big shiny fucking teeth, and he gave you a big ladle full of toilet water and told you you had to finish it, would you drink it? Is he connected to the big guy? Oh, he's...

Big time. According to him, he is. Well, I'd have to think about that one. You would do it. You would totally do it. Yeah, I would do it. You would totally do it. Yeah, I knew it. You'd drink toilet water if it was water. If it got me closer to Santa Jesus God, made him my friend, I'd probably consider it.

You would drink toilet water. So we do. Toilet water is just water that's gone through a toilet. It's still water. Hmm. Think about what you just said there. What else goes through toilets, Ricky? The water part, you mean?

Yeah, what else goes through toilet where the water is? What floats in that water? Well, I wouldn't be drinking a ladle full of shit or piss, but toilet water is a different thing, especially if it's holy. Hmm. All right. Who talks like that? Do you think holy water flows through the toilets at the church?

Absolutely. Everything in the church is holy. Really? Everything in the... let's examine that statement for a second. Everything in the church is holy. You know what, I'm not even getting into this. Don't even get into it, man. I'm gonna get you started, and I'm gonna start flipping tables.

Okay. And I think you had enough holy popcorn. Oh, man. You had enough holy popcorn. See, Julian believes in Santa Jesus God. Oh, man. You're gonna piss people off with the popcorn. Okay.

I'm telling you. Okay. We got a big fucking day today, right? What do you guys got cooking up? Well, I'm gonna be fucking straight up. I've been watching a lot of the Olympics. Yeah, me too. Day and night. I'm not sleeping, man.

I'm fucking watching shit the next day when it's not even live. I know, I walked in yesterday into your trailer and you had the figure skating on and you were sitting there in your underwear. Oh, I understand that one because it was a workable malfunction. That was wicked. It was just the fellas figure skating. There was no ladies. Now we're talking about the, you know,

the dancing one, the, you know. The French girl? Yeah, yeah, yeah. On the figure skates. Well, she just had an accident. Yeah. Well, did she though? Oh, she didn't mean to, yeah, yeah. On the figure skates. Well, she just had an accident with her... Yeah. Well, did she, though? Oh, she didn't mean to do that, man. Well, maybe.

You know what? Could have been on purpose. It could have been on purpose. Why in the fuck would it be on purpose? For people that don't know what we're talking about, her boob fell out. Well, maybe she was supposed to have something covering that part of her boob, but she found out that someone was going to fuck

with her wardrobe. She's like, you know what? They're going to fuck my wardrobe. I'm going to fuck with that. I'm not going to cover that part of her boob, but she found out that someone was gonna fuck with her wardrobe. She's like, you know what? They're gonna fuck my wardrobe, I'm gonna fuck with that. I'm not gonna cover that part up. And once it comes undone, people are gonna see some shit. Same thing I did back in grade six.

When I heard that Ronnie Dingleman was gonna pants me, I said, all right, Ronnie, you wanna pants me? I'll fuck with you. And I didn't wear any underwear to school. So who was laughing the last laugh at that laughy day? That day you got pants when your bear bird was out. You did that on purpose. Yep.

I even played a little bit to make it look bigger. You never told me that. What the fuck are you talking about anyway? You think that's what this lady did? I don't know. I'm just saying you got to look at every angle. But Ricky, she doesn't wear underwear on her boobs. I'd be good on a jury because I'd look at it all.

You think she's supposed to have a bra on out there figure skating? I've heard of strippers that put something over that main part of the breast. The nipple? Yep. Now that we're talking about it. Now that it's out there. It's not. You know what? There might be something to it. Not all of it because a lot of that was just fucking dumb shit.

Or she is French. French like to get their boobs out. They like to have their tits out. They go to the fucking beach without the top on. That's just normal over there. Not all French people walk around naked, just so you know. On the beach they do, the women. Not all of them.

Most of them, yeah. They're just more liberal, as they say. Exactly. So when that came out, it was like, check that out. I don't think it's that big of a deal that her boob popped out. It's not a big deal. I wish people would just stop talking about it. Well, it is kind of a big deal because right now... I feel bad for her if it wasn't on purpose.

I can barely remember that Canada... If it was on purpose, then I don't feel bad for her. Maybe she didn't give a fuck. Oh, there's my boob. Who gives a fuck? Let's finish this program. It shouldn't matter. I'm just, well, you know, Canada, they did win the gold, right? But I, you know, all I think about is the nipple coming out. Okay, here, let's change the boots on the feet. Maybe Julian's prejudiced against French nipples.

Why, what? No, I'm not fucking saying that at all. Why would I be prejudiced against nipples? So you don't think it's a big deal that that popped out? No. Okay, I'm going to reverse the boots on the feet. What if the fella's wiener shot out through his pants? Not good.

Like, it was just so powerful it couldn't be held in anymore. Oh, man, the wiener's a different fucking ballgame, man. Well, I'm just saying, is it, you know, why is it okay for... Oh, it's no big deal that your boob came out better, right? Well, I'm not talking, like, you know, as if the chick's, you know... Package. Yeah, popped out. I mean, that's a big

deal as well. The nest. Maybe if dudes, like, one nut popped out, that's probably up there with the boob, the nipple. Having your nut pop out. It's just one. That's not the same as having your nipple pop out. Pretty close, man. I mean, the fella could skate around with no shirt on if he was so inclined. Yeah, if they wanted to. They should have protections in place

to prevent all that sort of stuff, I guess. Like, instead of having one strap, you should have two. They obviously wear something to prevent you seeing any of the other action down there. Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's called pants, Ricky. It's called tape, man. They tape it down. Tape what down? The whole thing,

man. Up here, down there, it's taped. Why would it be taped? Because they're fucking figure skating. They're doing like the splits in the air, the shit, you know? I think there's metal. The legs come up, they come down. There could be some problems. They must have metal in their bottoms, too, because you don't get any ideas about any of it.

It's just all completely hidden. So when you're watching the Olympics, you're just studying genitals, are you, Ricky? No, I'm just wondering how they do it so secretly. I don't think it's secret. Really? It's called wearing clothes. Well, lots of times you go to the beach and there's, you know,

you may as well not have any bikini bottoms on. You can pretty much see every detail of it. Mm-hmm. You don't see any of that with the skaters, though. And that upsets you why? Oh, I think it's great. Hmm. It'd be too distracting otherwise

for the judges Maybe they get judged on that. I have no idea Unbelievable, thank God you think the Olympic judges are you know, well triple Sal Calvin. Oh look at that Camel going on there loose hoof Check this out man Jesus, a camel going on there. A moose hoof. Mm-hmm. Check this out, man. At the Olympic Village, they handle condoms and shit. Guess how many they needed for this Olympics.

Zero. Oh, Ricky. No, it's not zero, man. They're athletes. Come on. Yeah, that's what I mean. Don't most athletes just go bare-bird? Fuck. Ricky, it's not the NBA over there. It's Olympic. A hundred and ten thousand.

A hundred and ten thousand. A hundred and ten thousand. That's a lot of banging. That's a lot of banging. How many people are in the Olympics? Don't know, but they say 37 today for the whole time they're there. So you need to find out how many cocks were in the Olympic Village and then divide that by the condoms and find out how many condoms per cock,

how many bangs per cock you would then know. You wouldn't know with the women, but you would know how many times each man got banged on average. See, if you try to get Ricky to do basic math, he can't do it, but then tell him, you know, it's about how many condoms and how much banging went on, all of a sudden he's fucking Einstein. Oh, it's about how many condoms and how much bang went on. All of a sudden, he's fucking Einstein.

Oh, it's the same as drugs. Just like cutting 1,000 grams into one-gram chunks to sell. Yeah. Check this out, bubs. They've got a McDonald's right there in the village. Nice. They can eat as much of that shit as they want. Actually, 20 items a day at a time.

That's what athletes should eat. 20 per order. Why do you... There's no way the Olympic athletes are over there. They're fucking eating McDonald's. I bet you some other country put that fucking McDonald's in there just to make the athletes tired and fat. That could be a possibility right there.

You think there's a guy going, well, I got to do a big ski jump later, but oh, just fucking drive a Big Mac into me. You say he bought... He ate a fucking 1,000 McNuggets in 10 days. Who? What kind of a bullshit? Usain Bolt, the runner there.

1,000 McNuggets. 1,000, plus a mountain of fries and all kinds of fucking apple turnovers, man. 1,000 nuggets in 10, so Usain Bolt's eating 100 chicken McNuggets a day. That's what they're saying. That's about 33 per meal. That's the secret to his speed. Yeah, Ricky, that's the secret to his speed. Fucking heart clog and fucking cholesterol. I bet there's some kind of a steroid in the chicken they use.

That's... They gotta watch out for that shit. ...to transfer it over to his fastness. Ricky. They probably don't even test for it. Fuck people's minds. So they put steroids in the chickens to... So they used steroids in the chickens,

and now Usain Bolt has chicken fucking power. Chicken roids. Mmm. Well, chickens are fucking quick, man, if you look at them. They can run a good fast mile. And they can fly it. Ricky, when have you ever seen

a chicken run a fucking mile? I've chased little fuckers and they're not easy to catch. Not when you're fucking drunk and high. Well, I don't know. It should give you a bit of an advantage. So Usain Bolt, right, there's no way he ate a thousand nuggets. Yep.

Well, then there might be something to this theory of his. That's what I'm... Yeah. There's all kinds of that shit. We should write an Olympics say they gotta start testing for chicken roids. Ricky, just address the Olympic people right here into the camera. Tell them, because they're watching. Members of the IOC, beware. There are steroids being used that you're not testing for. They're found in foods.

Probably from beef, cattle, piglets, fish. I don't know. Things that you make grow faster with steroids than we eat. Beware. So the filet of fish. Steroid for sure. Fish roids. Well, maybe not if it wasn't grown with steroids. But I doubt McDonald's is catching fish out in the wild to open.

So, did you notice in the Olympics, like, the hockey team from Russia, they're not using the Russian flag, they're using the Olympic flag, and they're not called Russia, they're called athletes from Russia? Yeah. They're called, or is it oat? Or ore? Oats? Ore.

I was looking at that going where the fuck is or I? Knew I've heard of it, but I do that's because of the whole fucking Doping scandal, but they forgot a word now. It just says Olympic athletes Russia should have an oven there So it should be or of well. They don't little words like of they don't give them a full letter in the... That's bullshit. Imagine being the word of. You don't even get counted. You'd feel like a fucking left-out piece of shit. The word... They don't have to use me. I'm so small.

You'd have little word syndrome. Hmm. Hmm-hmm-hmm. Ricky, you know words can't think, right? Everything can think, bubs That's how the world gets going around He's worried about what the About hurting the word of's feelings

You can't hurt a word's feelings, Rick You just do You can't, man Anyway, did you hear about that curler That's from Russia Yeah He made the oar team Who fell on the broom and went up his arse? No about that curler that's from Russia. Yeah. He made the ore team. It fell on the broom.

It went up his arse. No, that was at the Olympics. The curler. They tested him. He was on steroids for curling. Why the fuck would you need to do steroids to curl? Have you ever picked up a curling stone? You slide it.

You don't fucking do curls with it. You slide the fucking thing. Well, I'm just saying, man. Well, you got to push off. That's fucking, don't exert yourself too much there. Good thing you're on fucking steroids and been in the gym 12 hours a fucking week. I'm pissed off about him. Fuck off.

That's pretty stupid. What country is he from? He's from Orr. Orr. After they got fucking banned. They like their fucking. He's like, yeah, we got banned, but fuck it. They're probably not going to test for this particular thing. Dumbass. They like their fucking... He's like, yeah, we got banned, but fuck it. They're probably not going to test for this particular

thing. Dumbass. They like their steroids over there. They fucking love them, man. Didn't they build some special fucking piss-testing chamber when the Olympics were in Russia? Oh, yeah. They had the fucking testing facility and they had trap doors in the fucking thing and a secret

testing facility on the other side of the wall. They're sliding things through. They figured out how to tamper with the tamper-proof fucking thing. Was it KGB? Big operation, I would suspect. KGB piss rocket. They are smart. Don't say the words KGB.

You just did both of them. They'll be fucking here after us. They would never come here to fucking investigate. Oh, yeah? Oh, but we're talking about the KGB piss rocket. Are you kidding me? I think Russia is shit. You don't think you?

I've seen enough movies. They're smarter than all of us. I leave here later and fuck a needle in my neck. Down in the bushes. They're smarter than Canada. They're smarter than the other place below us. We're not allowed to talk about it for some reason. KGB, um...

China might be as smart. There's some smart people in the world. Just so you guys know. Who's the smartest, Ricky? Don't know. Russia or China. Maybe they're both equal. Mm-hmm.

All right. But don't fuck with them is my point. Because they will fuck with you back more. Yeah? Putin. Putin. Putin? Putin. Putin. All right, here's another thing that goes on. Fuck. Putin? Putin.

All right, here's another thing that goes on at the Olympic grounds. Liquor. Lots of it? People get fucking smashed. They don't test for liquor? No, you can compete drunk if you want. You can compete drunk if you want. I would totally be drunk.

I agree. No, but once, you know, it's basically if they win a medal or they're all through, they start celebrating. The next morning they say, if you watch an interview, most likely they're drunk. They've been up all night drinking and they're fucking wasted. Well, of course. They're not drunk while they're doing it. If you won an Olympic gold medal, Ricky, you'd be fucked out of your mind. Well, you'd be wasted for a month, maybe the whole year.

Whatever I kept my hands on, I would put it on my body. You'd probably get drunk and party for the rest of your life. Because how are you going to top doing that? How are you going to top an Olympic medal? Get another one? Okay, good point. They get their teeth fixed for free. There's like dental offices all over the place.

What if they get them smashed out? No, even if they come in, they've got like, you know, if they were addicted to meth or something. Oh, yeah, a lot of Olympic athletes are ex-meth heads. Like, years ago, they made a good comeback. You know what I mean? So if you go to the Olympics, you get free dentist. Yep. Fucking lucky bastards.

I'd get fucking everything just completely redone. Brand new teeth. Fuck it. In the middle of the Olympics, you would decide to get all your teeth pulled. Well, if I was playing middle of the Olympics, you would decide to get all your teeth pulled? Well, if I was playing hockey in the Olympics, just between games, you get a couple done, next game, a couple more done.

Just pick a way out of it. You're there for a couple weeks. What, you got 12 teeth? Pick a way out of it. How many teeth? I don't know. What is there, 12? You've only got 12 teeth, Ricky. Count them. 16. On each raw. What is there, 12? You've only got 12 teeth, Ricky. Count them. 16. On each raw.

Each what do you mean? Up and down. Up level, second level, bottom level. I think there's only eight downstairs, eight upstairs. I got 14 on the top. You're lucky. 14 on the bottom. 28 teeth in my head.

I got less than that. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, 11, 12, 13, 14, 28 teeth. All my teeth. This is the last day. Not a fucking cavity. Last day before the NHL trade deadline coming on Monday. See who's gonna make some moves and who's not.

Who's gonna dance and who's gonna fucking go to bed. You hear about that fucking guy on the plane that was farting so much that he had to make an emergency landing? No, man. Remember when you did that at that time? Ricky, there's no way that's true. It happened. This guy wouldn't stop farting.

I guess it was horrendously bad. And these two fucking dudes were like, But if you don't stop farting, we're gonna kick the shit out of you. And he kept blazing his farts, tang in the air. And the little fight broke out. The pilot said, fuck this shit, landed in Vienna, said, boys,

didn't even kick off the farter. They kicked the other two assholes off and two women who were now suing. You're not allowed to kick off the farter. Why? Because he's not doing anything wrong. I beg to be different. I would have punched him right in the fucking something. That's fucked. Why? Because he's not doing anything wrong. I beg to be different.

I would have punched him right in the fucking something. That's fucked. What was he doing illegal? Shitting the air full. He was shitting up the air. Yeah, but it's a normal bodily function. Maybe he just... The old man told me when you smell someone's fur,

it's actually particles of their shit going into your nose. So that's not right. I could see if it's an accident, but if you're just sitting there saying, fuck it, and just gassing everybody... But if he was holding the man, he could have done damage to himself. Proper, good for him. Fuck him. So what happened to the guy?

They kicked him off the plane? No, the furter got to fly to where he was going. The furter stayed on and he kicked the bullies off. And the women were like, we didn't do a fucking thing. Why are we kicked off? They kicked the furt bullies off and left the furter on. Yeah. Furt bullies.

It's a good lesson, I guess. Them women got kicked off? For doing fuck all, they said. Well, they must have been. They must have did something to the furter. So was he allowed kind of furter? Is that how they caught him? I think it was the silent but deadly.

You don't even see it coming. So there was a bit of... How could they pinpoint it was him? He probably had a little farty, smiley, sneaky grin on his face like they all do. Fucking little bastard. He was probably in pain for like fucking most of the flight and said, that's it, I gotta get rid of this. No, they warned him, said, bud, I'm telling you,

you're gonna get fucking hurt. And he's like, oh yeah? He's getting fired up because of what Randy did. Open up your mouth. Taste that, boys. Of course. He's mad because of what Randy did to him. Gas warfare. Randy fired it in his mouth.

I know. That was... If Randy was here right now, if you reminded me of that, I'd punch him in the mouth right now, if you reminded me of that, I'd punch him in the mouth right now. Fucking bastard. You farted in your mouth and pinched your lips shut. So you swallowed Randy's farts.

I inhaled it. And when I exhaled it, it was not a good taste. Mm-hmm. I think I may have got a little high off it, actually. Ricky. It was tangy. Did not get high off Randy's farts. So you know what? If we were smart, you know what would make this podcast a lot better?

If we can get a hold of this guy that was on the plane that was doing the fart... And we could talk to him. Talk to him about it and say, what the fuck is the deal? We should fucking get a hold of him. What the fuck did you eat so I can do it every day and piss people off?

See? Did he go in there, like, eating a certain thing to get the gas going? No, I can't imagine the fellow was concocting a recipe to make farts in his stomach so that he could fuck up a plane. Well, he should write down whatever the fuck he ate in case he's on to something. Broccoli and water, I'm guessing. Could use it in warfare. You're guessing. Broccoli was involved.

You've done this before then, haven't you? I bet broccoli was involved in his meal and a lot of water. Water's like throwing gas on the fire. Really? Water's what gets her all roiling up in there. I might start drinking water. What does it taste like? Come on. There's a T-shirt.

Are you serious? There's a T-shirt. I might start drinking water. What does it taste like? You know when you have an ice cube in your mouth and it melts? Yeah, but it's usually a drink. I mean, this is water. It's just not on its own. But there's water in there somewhere.

That's what makes a liquid a liquid, right? Water. Mmm. I just don't think I've ever had it by itself. How could you have gone through life without drinking a bottle of water or a glass of water Have you ever seen him drink one? Why would you?

Because you're guessing it's just a clear shitty looking liquid If you had something tasty that's coloured you'd drink that first I've never seen him drink a fucking bottle of water in my life Mark these words out. I'm going to try water this week. I'll get back to you.

Can't wait. I got high hopes. I'm hoping for some gas. I think we should get a T-shirt, a big picture of Ricky's face that says, I think I might try water. What's it taste like? That's a good idea. I'd wear that shirt.

Speaking of that sort of stuff, did you hear about those kids that are taking some heat because they're selling raffle tickets on an AR-15 for their baseball team? No, they're not. Yeah, what's wrong with that? They're trying to raise money for their fucking baseball team and people are outraged.

Ricky. Like, fuck, come up with another way to make money. What grade are they in? Three or four. Three. And they're doing what? That's real. They're doing what?

They're having a raffle on a fucking AR-15 semi-automatic fucking weapon. Yeah. And I think you do what you can to make money, or else, you know, you have shitty bats and you can never win a game. Ricky, they don't need to sell that. They don't need to sell that. Why don't they sell fucking tickets on a PS4? Nobody would buy it. Well, some kids would, but kids don't have money. tickets on a PS4? Nobody would buy it. Well, some kids would, but kids don't have money.

They're targeting the dads. The dad's like, I'd buy one of those motherfucking tickets. I'd love to have one of those fucking tickets. I'd buy all of them. I'd rather buy tickets on that than a chocolate bar or a floor basket. You should not be allowed to sell fucking things, period. Whether for raffles or for whatever. But that's not for us to figure out.

Well, yeah, that's the problem, though. Maybe they should just not sell them. The biggest problem with Canada is that up here, we know the guns aren't for killing people. They're just for scaring people. Yeah. Well, yeah. People could just get that figured out.

There's no reason to sell that one, that one they're talking about. Is it badass? Ricky, it's like getting shot with a fucking coke can. No, that's no good. There's no reason to own that. It's not like you're out, you know. Shooting at TVs out in the pit, which is totally cool.

You wouldn't want to go duck hunting with something like that. No, you would not. It's just a killing device. That's the whole point of it is to make something stop being alive. It'd be fun to blow shit up with, though, like shoot it at cars or... Well, yeah, that's different. Gas bombs, glass. Shooting at cars is fun if it's safe and it's cordoned off and it's loaded with dynamite.

Fish. And you shoot it and she blows up, that's different. It'd be great to go fish them with. No, I don't think... I mean, just fucking unload and see what floats to the top. There'd be nothing but just fucking little particles, man. Bits and fins. The point is, you know, they shouldn't sell them.

They should just have them for shooting in the gravel pits, shooting at cars. Like Reggie has a few. Yeah. They shouldn't sell them to people that don't know what they're doing so that they can just use them for evil. That's all I'm saying. All right. Good talk. Yeah, man. Great talk.

Yeah. Good talk. We were supposed to... We didn't talk about things that happened on this day and birthdays and shit for a bit, so people were saying we should. Okay, so what do you got? Well, unfortunately, it wasn't much today. There was...

Some time back in history, they raised the flag on Iwo Jima. Iwo Jima. Tomato, tomato. That was a big thing. I remember there was a movie made about it. It was a huge battle, Ricky. Dirty Harry made a movie about it. Forget his real name. I think Dirty Harry made a movie about it. Flags of Our Brothers. Clint Eastwood. Clint Eastwood, that's his name. Yeah. Not Dirty Harry, that's... Oh, different guy. That's a character. Different movie.

Different time in history. The Uojima was a famous battle where the American soldiers triumphed and they put the big flag up and there's a statue with the... I heard they made a statue out of it. It's one of the most famous fucking statues probably in the history of their country.

Do you think they took molds of the real gods to make the statue? Or is it just, like, a... No, they did it off a pitcher, probably, Ricky. They wouldn't take molds of them. They'd have to dip the soldiers in a big tank of... plasticine or whatever they use. Well, at least it'd be real. Actual size. That's what I would have did.

Well, I think they're actual size, but you don't need to depth the person. They don't need to depth them, man. Oh, yeah, and on this day, don't know when it was, but Wilt Chamberlain, you know, that basketball player... Wilt the Stealth. With the big cock and banged 20,000 women? First player to score 25,000 points on this day.

Wilt the Stealth. Yeah. Decent. We figured it out one time. Was it three a day? First player to score 25,000 points on this day. Well distilled. Yeah. Jason. We figured it out one time. Was it three a day? Or four a day or something? I forget now, but it was a little. I've got a piece of popcorn stuck in my neck.

Because you, you know what? Because you didn't believe. You didn't believe. I'm all right. I'm okay. I'm okay. Thank you. That's sin of Jesus God's way of saying, fuck you, bud. Fuck this popcorn.

You're not gonna believe them. Fuck you. You're done. I didn't save Julian's life. No, somebody else did. I heimliched him. He gave you another chance. You better use it wisely, dumbass. What the fuck are you going on about? I choked on some popcorn. Why would Jesus make them choke in the first place?

To fucking just threaten them a little bit. Saying, bud. So Jesus makes people choke to fucking warn them. Yeah. And either they all of a sudden at that moment say, okay, I fucked up, I believe. And he's like, okay. He takes the thing out like you just had it happen.

Or he's like, nope, you don't believe. Time to die. All right, that's it. Are we done? Dakota Fanning, her birthday today. Great. Who? I don't know who birthday today. Great. Who? I don't know who she is.

She's a girl. She's an actress, Ricky. I know. She's a great actress. I heard that. And one of your favorite buddies you like to twiddle your dink to, Marc Garneau, Canadian astronaut. Ricky.

Fan of his pups? I'm just trying to process what he just said. Twiddle's his what? Fiddle's his dink? I don't know. Twiddle, you're dink. He's an astronaut, and yes, I... Twiddle's been dinked. No, I am a fan, and he's been to space,

therefore he's one of the coolest people on the planet. And cool people on the planet make you horny and erect. No, Ricky, that's not true. That's not true. You've got a goofy little fucking smog on, man. Well, because I know that eventually we're going to get to meet an astronaut, and he's probably gonna tell him. That you twiddle your dink.

Oh, I hope we can get an astronaut. That would be awesome. Ricky, I am working on some stuff. No way. Can we go to space? Possibly. That would be fucking cool. What's this?

Oh, fuck, we're not playing a game. I don't have my little... Oh. Yeah, big problem. There they are. Shit. What's this? Oh fuck. We're not playing a game. I don't have my little Yeah, big problem shit thought we'd play around batteries are dead though bubs that's why they're up there No, come on boys one lightning round of jeopardy, okay one lightning round That one's stock. Lightning round. Oh, we didn't talk about that broad in the Olympics that totally fucking lied to everybody and didn't do shit. She just skied down the hill.

Oh, yeah. That was awesome. I liked that. She was amazing. Yeah, that was cool. What's her name? Elizabeth Sweeney. What a big fuck you.

Do you know about this? No, what happened? She's from Hungary. She's in the Olympics as a skier in the half pipe. In the half pipe. But she can't ski very well. She just goes down like that. She just goes... She's just out having a good time.

She got there for a reason, man. She was the best in the country. Well, I think she kind of, you know, maybe fiddled with her application and maybe let on she was better than she was. I think it's great, though. I mean, what she's doing. I saw her go down and I mean she was better than she was. I think it's great though. I mean, what she's doing. I saw her go down and I mean, I couldn't do that.

She was right up the side. Comes down, she's going up and down. I mean, that's pretty good. She didn't wipe out. She didn't do any tricks though. That was the part everybody was pissed off at. Cause people are, you know, going out and doing 720 jive backwards, double stackers, whatever they're called.

And she was just going, wee, wee. And then she came down backwards at the end. Big. That's what it was. She was fucking stoned. And she couldn't do it. She did it, man. She tried to flip right now and crashed.

Nope. She's not stoned. Okay. This is, I just, this is a Jeopardy game. I figured out how to search them. Okay. This was played exactly 25 years ago today. 1998.

Wonderful. Nope, 1993. Three. Three, that's what I was just going to say. 1993. Oh, fuck. Categories are explorers, pop music, travel and tourism, aquatic animals, weights and measures, and quotes. I'll take hot music for 200 or 100.

Pop music, Ricky. Oh, fuck. That's fine. What were the other categories again? No, let's try it. Fuck it. Pop music for how much? Pot or pop?

Pop music. Fucking pop music. All right. Pop music. how much? Pot or pop? Pop music. Fucking pop music. All right. Pop music. Talk about. What does pop include, though? Popular music. Ah, that's cool the way they did that.

Holy fuck. Okay. For what number? 200? 100. Easier ones. Pop music for 100. This singer's born in the USA.

Who is Bruce Willis? No, Bruce Springsteen. You said Bruce Willis. You said Bruce Willis. Who is Bruce Springsteen? Bullshit! Julian for 100. Thank you.

Bruce Willis, born in the USA? Bruce Willis, every time I say Bruce, it's the first person I think of. I knew it was Springsteen. Springsteen. But... Okay, I don't even got to check that one. Let's go to pop music again for 200.

Pop music for 200. That's cock sucking bullshit right there. I lamed it. This rapper topped the charts in 1990 with his song Ice Ice. Who is Vanilla the Ice? No, who's Vanilla Ice, Ice. Who is Vanilla the Ice? No, who's Vanilla Ice? Ricky.

Vanilla Ice, not Vanilla the Ice. And I think we're tied anyway in the beats. That's two, two nothing. So Ricky's two. I want the fucking... Pop music, 300. Come on, Ricky, use your brain. Fuck, fuck! It's the title of Natalie Cole's 1992 Grammy-winning album and song of the year.

Oh, fuck. Natalie Cole. I know, man. Nat King Cole. I know who the fuck it is, but it can't come up in my head. She did a duet with Nat King Cole in the video. They superimposed it. Who?

Fuck. Come on, Ricky. Don't forget. Don't forget. Don't forget. Hey, hey, hey. What it was. Don't be doing that shit. Why?

Don't forget. Come on, Ricky. You're forgetting what the song was. I am. It should be. Don't forget? Me? When I'm gone?

That was Glass Tiger. Forget? When I'm gone? That was Glass Tiger. Forget me when I'm gone? I'm just waiting for you to fucking say yes. That's it. I don't fucking know, man. I can't come up with... Natalie Cole. Come on.

Just tell me. You shouldn't forget it, Ricky. It should be almost like where you can't even forget it. Unforgettable. Was unforgettable. Rick, you got it. Unforgettable. That's what you are.

Tie game. Tie game. You don't say that fucking giving out hints like you just did. I wasn't giving out a hint. What hint did I give out? What are the categories, Isler? We've got Explorers, pop music, travel and tourism, aquatic animals, weights and measures.

You might be good at that because you weigh out your dope. What kind of animals were they again? Aquatic. That's water animal. I'll try that. What are the options? Let's start with 100 and see how fucking hard it is first. The name of this animal is from two Greek words meaning eight feet. What is an octopus? Ricky, holy fuck. That was easy. For him, that's pretty good. He figured out the great meaning of eight feet.

As soon as you said eight, the only thing I knew that has eight somethings was that guy. Ricky's actually leading, because he got a $300 question and a $100 job. I got every one of them right. He just cheated. He's got $400, because you've only got $300. He hasn't done anything by himself. All right, pop music for fucking 800. It's my turn, Alex. All right, go pop music for 800.

I dare you to. Sure. See what you got there, kidlet. So this is really gonna be a winner-take-all. Don't call me kidlet. Fucking asshole. Number, well, 500's the most you can do. Okay, let's try that, Alex.

Okay, you ready? For all the nuts and bolts. Okay, Madonna's hits. all the nuts and bolts. Okay. Madonna's hits. Oh, fuck. I got this. Vogue and Hanky Panky were from the CD inspired by this 1990 film. Come on, man.

Oh, fuck me. Hey, what is true blue? Is that it? I don't think so. No, that's not right. Ah, fuck! Who, what, is it a who or a what for a title? It's a title, Ricky.

What is Desperately Seeking Susan? That's what I thought it was, but that's not it either. What is Like a Virgin? Fuck, is that a movie? No, it's not Like a Virgin. I don't really know. We're from this CD inspired by this 1990 film. Madonna, I

believe, is in the movie. Oh, the fucking... What is the Little League? No, the big... Women in Baseball League. Little League. What is it? League of General... Fuck, League. Oh, man. No, that's not it. A League of... Fuck, League! No, man. Fuck!

No, that's not it. A league of their own. That's not it either. God damn. How many movies has she been in? Like a detective. A detective? Yeah. What is it?

True Detectives? No, that's not it, but it is a detective movie. Oh, come on. What is... Fuck. I don't think I saw it. Come on, Ricky. Don't be a dick here yet.

Oh, no. Don't be a dick. What is dicks? Dicks? No, Ricky, try to trace it out in your mind. Okay. Don't be a dick and try to trace it. Don't be a dick.

No. What is dick, Tracy? Oh, Ricky. And you fucking did it again and it backfired, you motherfucker. That's the only question you got the whole fucking game. I answered every other fucking question. I'm the winner in my own. I won. Fuck everybody. I'm motherfucker. That's the only question you got the whole fucking game. I answered every other fucking question. I'm the winner in my own. I won.

Fuck everybody. I was for 800. Julian won that one. That was for 500. So you had 800. Way more than me. He hasn't got one question on his own yet. 400.

I won. Okay. Why not one more winner takes the whole thing? I just had winner takes the whole fucking thing. No, but that wasn't real. What category? How about quotes for 500? No way, man. What is it? Who? We're gonna do one question,

the winner gets to boop the other person in the nuts. That's not happening. Um, let me see here. How's about Ricky wanted to do aquatic animals? The loser has to be the other person's hooker. I guess that won't work. Reaching a length of eight inches, it's the largest frog... Oh, okay.

I just heard eight inches. What were you gonna answer? Doesn't matter. What is the category? Bullfrog. Reaching a length of eight inches, it's the largest frog in the U.S. and Canada. Oh, fuck. What is the name of that son of a whore?

What did you say, Julian? Bullfrog. Julian won. He's got it. I'm out of here. I can't play this game anymore. It's fucking bullshit. You answer every question, you don't get all the points.

Cheaters. Cheaters. He won fair and square. I won fair and square, man. You did good. You got Octopus. And you got Unforgettable. Unforgettable. That's what we are.

Let's sing our, let's everybody sing out. Unforgivable. All right, I'm done. That's what we are. Night King Cole was a dirty old soul. Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo. Houston Banger, man, on a pole, poor, poor.