Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 133 - I'ves Comes a Longs Ways Thens Boys

Episode Date: March 5, 2018

On this super-baked podcast, Ricky brings back 'On This Day Borntdays' and talks about the dangers of a hash blockage! Bubbles has a new game, but is everyone too baked to play? Plus: the Boys call Domino's Pizza to order a... dildo!?! Episode 133 is brought to you by the official Trailer Park Boys Store, SwearNet.com (the only place to watch the video of this podcash), Liquormen's Ol' Dirty Canadian Whisky, and the Boys' own Freedom 35 lager!

Welcome to the Trailer Perk Boys podcast, brought to you in perkboysswearingit.com, the only place where you can see the video version of this podcast. Nice one. And go to trailerperkboysmerch.com and check out some merch, buy some stuff, please. They sponsor us too. What about the beer and the liquor? I was just getting to that, Richard. Also sponsored by Freedom 35, Drink the Dream, and Leckerman's all-dirty Canadian whiskey.

And a new beer is born. Try my new Ricky's Catch-23 malt liquor. It's stronger than you are. Okay, Ricky. Boys, back off, Ricky. Boys. Back off, Ricky. Okay, put your headphones on. I got a new game I want to play. I'm excited. What does this mean?

On, off? Don't worry. It doesn't matter, Ricky. And careful. Those are my good space playing headphones. I got a new game I want to play. Usually we do the games near the end of the fucking podcast. Okay, so we're going to stick to the fucking format.

We'll get to your game. What's this for? This is how you talk to people? Well, yes. Those are my space-playing headphones, so be careful with them. They are nice. They're good ones. That's a microphone for talking to Houston.

All right, well, hurry up then. Do the thing. All right, what's up, motherfuckers? This is the official Trailer Park Boys podcast coming to you right now. It is episode 133, March 2nd. Here, I got a question. I'm very baked,

courtesy of Bubbles and Ricky today. Boom! Maybe a little too baked. I would have to concur. Here's a question. Why do you say it's the official Trailer Park Boys podcast?

Because this is the official one, man. Yeah, but you even need to say it's the official one? Like, is there people trying to make fake ones? It just kind of rules off my time. Who's not going to believe this is the real one? They're going to say, those guys didn't say it's official, so they're just impossible. Why do you fucking bust my balls with this? Well, just, it's an extra word you don't need to be saying.

Well, I like to say official because it's an official fucking podcast. Yeah, I'd like to officially fuck off. All right, so what's the deal? You told us to smoke like an extra amount today. Yes, because I want to play this game. March the 2nd, hey? Yeah. Getting closer to spring.

It is. Yeah, but who cares, boys? Dr. Shoosh was born today Who was? Dr. Shoosh Shoosh Sooks Yeah, him

He's old Who's Dr. Shoosh? He's the guy that taught me to read Ricky, you've never met Dr. Shoosh We don't even want to get into that, man No, his books He had those famous books, didn't he? Yes Ricky, you never met Tom Cruise. We don't even want to get into that, man. No, his books. He had those famous books, didn't he?

Yes. And you had Ray fucking reading these books to you, so that's not a good combo, man. Green eggs, I am, Sam, you are. Green eggs, I am, Sam, you are. Yeah, I remember that classic. He's come a long way. Do you remember fucking having to deal with him back when he was like, you know, seven, you are. Yeah, I remember that classic. Well, he's come a long way. Do you remember fucking having to deal with him back when he was like, you know, seven, eight?

Yes. He could hardly form a fucking sentence. I talked in rhymes. He was like a little caveman. He was like a mini caveman. You usually just fuck up a lot more words than you do now. See, I've come a long ways then, boys. See, there's how we used to talk.

What did he say? He said, see, I've come a long ways, boys. I've come a long ways then, boys. See, there's how we used to talk. What did he say? He said, see, I've come a long ways, boys. I've come a long ways, boys. You used to put asses on a lot of words that didn't need them. They sound better, though. Like, I gots instead of I got. Sounds way better. No, I disagree, but anyway.

He used to not even finish sentences. He'd say, boys, let's go to the store and get. But he used to not even finish sentences. He'd say, boys, let's go to the store and get. And he'd just stop. Because you just leave it open. You guys figure out what you want instead of suggesting shit. See, that's not... Makes no sense. It's totally not normal.

I know, but a normal person would just say, why don't we go down to the store and just peck out some stuff? Normal people wouldn't say, let's go down and get. And that's it. It does have me as a nice drink today. What the fuck was that? That's how Ricky used to talk when we were six or seven. What was that shit we smoked, man?

Seriously. It was like Angel of Youth. Angel of Youth? What? What the fuck is that shit? You guys are baked. You guys are super baked. Who else's birthday is it, Ricky?

Dizzy Arnaz. Dizzy Arnaz. I love Lucy. From I Love Lucy? Yeah. Cool. That's where Lucy might have got her name. You know what his character's name was?

Lucy? No, that wasn't, Di Arnaz wasn't Lucy. That was Lucille Ball. Oh. Desi Arnaz was Ricky Ricardo. His name was Ricky. Oh, I like that name. Ricky Ricardo.

I like the name. I used to say I was Ricky Ricardo sometimes. Well, that's who it is, Ricky. So that's where it came from. I believe, unless I have that all fucked up. Desi Arnaz was Ricky Ricardo. that's where it came from. I believe, unless I have that all fucked up. Desi Arnaud. That's what's Ricky Ricardo.

Mitchell. I don't know. Gorbe Kev. Mitchell Gorbe Kev. Mikhail Gorbachev. Yep. Lou Reed. That was good, Pops.

Lou Reed, you got that one. That was a good one. It's Lou Reed was born today? Yeah. You know him? Lou Reed, you got that one. That was a good one. It's Lou Reed was born today? Yeah, you know him? Lou Reed, Ricky from Velvet Underground. Yeah, that's him, it says that right here,

Velvet Underground. Who else, man? Don't know this one. Lorraine Newman. Lorraine Newman. Lorraine Newman. Oh, Saturday Night Live, I've heard of that. Yeah, she's funny. Oh, my God, Julian. It's party time for you today.

Oh, great. Jon Bon Jovi. Okay. I was into the Bon Jovi. The Bon Jovi. Yeah, you sure were. The Jove, as you called him sometimes. You used to call him the Jove.

I didn't call him the Jove. Are you kidding me? I remember a very specific time. I remember a very specific time. The Jove, as you called him sometimes? You used to call him the Jove. I didn't call him the Jove. Are you kidding me? I remember very specifically one Christmas, I came into your trailer, and you had on this weird thing,

and I started laughing. I said, who are you supposed to be? He goes, come on, man. This is what the Jove wears. I did it once. You used to lip sync living on the prayers. You used to lip sync, living on the prayers. Everybody used to do that, man. Used to belt it out all the time.

Oh, we're halfway there. Daniel Craig, you like him too. Daniel Craig. Daniel Craig has a nice, he's a nice fella. Has a nice what? I didn't say he has a nice who's Daniel Craig James Bond

oh James Bond yeah 007 I remember you saw that movie he had his shirt off you're like wow

I didn't fucking do that man just because you said he was in really good shape he's in good shape but I didn't watch the movie I believe the comment

was I wonder how he got his delts to look like that so it was because it's so fucked it was some weird muscle group I believe the comment was, I wonder how he got his delts to look like that. It was some weird muscle group. It was a strange muscle group that a normal person wouldn't have identified. His delts. Fuck off. I wonder how he got his delts.

Donna Perry, Playmate. Yeah. I think I remember her. Chris Martin. From Coldplay. Him and Lou think I remember her. Chris Martin. From Coldplay. Him and Lou Reed were born on the same day. Wow. Think about that now.

Born in Exeter. Coldplay should do a cover of, you know, waiting for the man or something. Rebel Wilson. Who? Australian actress. rebel wilson who australian actress who is it uh rebel wilson rebel wilson some bridesmaids and pikes or pitch perfect perfect

Classmates in Pitch Perfect. Perfect. He's having trouble. The other two, I don't know and don't care. Try to say their names. Breece Dallas Howard. He sounds like one of those computer programs that does the YouTube videos. Elizabeth Yeager. Elizabeth Yeager. Elizabeth Yeager.

Right on, Ricky. That was a good list. Okay, that was a lot of people got born on this day. That was a good born day issue. What do you got on your screen? All right, I just wanted to congratulate Sally Dolly. She's the butt lady of Auburn, California. What do you mean, the butt lady?

She's got a lot of zots? She just collected her one millionth butt. Cigarette butts. That's what she does. That's her thing. Come on. That's her, man. Congratulations.

Sally what? Dolly, man. Sally Dolly, the butt lady. She's the butt lady. If her name was Tammy, i might think it was my mom well she kind of does look like i've picked up way more than a fucking million so she counted them all she had a little clicker she'd click every time she'd pick it up and is she collecting them because she's nuts or is she trying to save the environment guess she's just trying to fucking

clean the place up man oh well good for her then i thought you meant she had them like on display in her house or something i thought she them up and at least smoking the fucking things. She could be. Send them to me. All right. I'll fucking recycle. Okay, if anybody knows Sally Dolly. Just flick them back on the ground.

I'll recycle them right into my life. Guys, listen. If anybody out there knows Sally Dolly, please get her to write in to us. I'd love to talk to her. I can contact Sally Dolly. A business proposition. Well, we've got to talk to her, man. Just message her on the YouTube.

Like, why was she doing this, like, with the clicker and shit? Well, because she's trying to prove how many cigarette butts are out there. Do you know how many cigarette butts are collected every year? I think it's like fucking five trillion. That's a lot. We've talked about it. Yeah, that's a lot. I think we have talked about it, and I believe it.

I wish I could get my hands on those fucking things. Maybe you can make a deal with her, man. Fuck. You set them up, I knock them down. That should be the deal Ricky makes. You collect them, I smoke them. Fuck yeah. Or I smoke them and sell them.

Cigarette butts taste different from a cigarette, you know. What was that thing you were doing with the cigarette butts in the oven? Remember, you used to bake them? Puddle butts. If you find wet cigarette butts in puddles, you can dry them in the oven on low heat. Mm-hmm. And they taste really good,

because they're clean after the, uh, the water kind of cleaned them. The puddle water. Yeah. They taste really good, really fresh. I think it makes them more fresh. It's like putting flowers in water. Makes them alive again. Yeah.

Okay. Here's another one. What? Suspected drug dealer goes 34 days without taking a number two. 34 days. 34 days he didn't have a poop. 34 days, yeah. Did he eat

he I don't know man well he ate something but he was pulled over January 17th he swallowed some drugs and shit and they brought him

to the fucking station waiting for him to get rid of them hasn't happened since January 17th I bet it was a block of hash I had oh man I think it was a block of hash. I had that.

Oh, man, I think it was cocaine and fucking something. Turned sideways. He said that he was eating fried chicken. He wasn't eating the drugs. It was fried chicken. Ricky, what did you say? You had a block of hash turned sideways? Yeah. It was a bit of a blockage for some time. So you had a hash dam in you?

I guess that's what it would be called. That's a good band name, the Hash Dams. And when in interviews people say, what's your band name mean? My friend Ricky swallowed a block of hash and it went sideways in him and created a hash dam. So what happened? You had the hash dam and... Well, eventually, as with every dam, they eventually unbreak. Unbreak? Like every dam?

What dams have eventually broken? The Hoover Dam's still intact. Yep, wasn't for its whole life. It's had problems. Has it had problems? What problems do you know that the Hoover Dam's had, Ricky?

I think it broke a couple times. Broke? Yeah. Like the dam snapped? Somebody blew it up. Uh-huh. Really?

Yeah. Geez, I don't remember that. Don't you? We would have heard about that one. No record of it either, which is weird.

Well, it was either the news or a movie, I forget. Oh, fuck. But it did don't remember that. Don't you? We would have heard about that one. No record of it either, which is weird. No. Well, it was either the news or a movie. I forget. Oh, fuck. But it did get blowed up. Ricky, you know the difference, right? Between the news and the movie?

Well, it depends what sort of a buzz on you have on, doesn't it? Okay. You guys are fucked. I am fucked. I guess. Let me see your eyes. Show me your eyes. Oh, yeah. You guys are fucked. I am fucked. Let me see your eyes. Show me your eyes. Oh, yeah, you're fucking...

Ricky. Ricky, holy fuck, man. I feel good, though. I do feel kind of good. I can do anything right now. Well, can we play my game, boys? We can, or do you want to talk about some other weird items? I think it's up to Ricky.

If you want to talk about some shit, go ahead, man. I want you to be super baked when we play this one, though. Well, I was super baked when I found some of these. I was just going through sites and picking up the most fucked up headlines. Oh, fucked. Yeah, there was one that was bad. What is it? Or maybe it's good.

Why? This couple adopted a pet pig from an animal shelter in B.C. Yeah. And then they killed it shelter in B.C. Yeah. And then they killed it and ate it. Jesus, Murphy. They went to the market, man. At first I was kind of pissed off, and I was like, fuck, I guess there's no real rules against that. So what did they do?

They were starving. They adopted a pet pig from a B.C. animal shelter. And they ate the fucker. Killed it and cooked it and ate the fucking thing. Was it one of those little pot belly pigs? That's exactly what I think it might have been. Were they poor people? It didn't really say what their financial position in life was.

Well, that's a big factor. I mean, if they were a poor couple and they were starving to death, like literally starving. So you'd be okay if a starving family adopted some cats from the local shelter and eat no i did not say that ricky don't put words in my mouth anybody adopts a cat to eat it i'll fucking i'll they'll be getting a visit from me believe me i just mean if it was like some young couple and they did it just to be you know they're rich and they did it just to be assholes and make a youtube video out of it then what if they have it just to be, you know, they're rich and they did it just to be assholes

and make a YouTube video out of it, then. What if they have a video of it, like, you know, cooking it up, eating it? Maybe they were addicted to bacon and pork chops and stuff and they just fucked being around the pig too long, couldn't deal with it. Had to eat them. I had a bacon addiction in junior high.

Yeah, Ricky, but you weren't stealing pigs. No, but if I would have thought of it, who knows? Could have been a whole different bottle of wax. The last thing you need to do is become a butcher, Ricky. No, you wouldn't get through it, man. I wouldn't want to kill it, but I'd cut it up. Alive? No, fuck.

Somebody else deals with that shit. I don't like the fucking, that part. I couldn't kill a little pot belly pig. No. You know, eat it? I couldn't kill a big pig either. Big pigs are nice. They look great at you with their big pig eyes.

They're kind of disgusting, man. I don't, I'm not a big... Oh, I mean, they'll eat you if you're dead. They'll fucking eat you right to nothing. Pigs would eat you. Fuck, they'd have a field to eat you. How many pigs do you think Julian could feed with his muscles? Fuck off, man.

I don't know, but then they'd turn into super pigs, probably. Turn into super pigs. That's another good band name, the Super Pigs. Muscular Pigs. Muscle Pigs. The Muscle Pigs is a great band name. Let's start it. Do you want to start a band called the Muscle Pigs?

I'm in. What are you going to play? I don't know yet. What's easy? You should be the bass player, Ricky. That sounds hard. Well, it's not as hard as maybe, you know, keyboards or guitar. Right. I mean, you could play the shaker.

Yeah, it's not real exciting, though. Well, you could make it exciting. You could get a, you know get a little mic attached to it and some foot pedals. Does Shaker guys get groupies? You better believe it. Get some dance moves going with it. That'll help it out.

You telling me the guy that plays the tambourine and the Rolling Stones isn't getting busy all the time? I can get some dance moves going. Okay, there you go, man. Do you wanna, when I start doing some bubbles in going. Okay, there you go, man. Do you want to... When I start doing some Bubbles and the Shit Rocker shows, maybe you should be my tambourine guy. You could have all different kinds of tambourines.

You could have a tambourine with weed on it. I'd play the fuck out of a tambourine. Cowbells? Oh, fuck, give me some cowbell. Cowbell? Spoons? You could be my cowbell player. So you could be a percussionist, Ricky,

because you like to smash things, beat on things. Is that what that's called? Yeah, like, you know, different little. Smasher. Little, you know, go-go bells or, you know, tenankling sticks, I think they were called. Don't know what those are, but. Tenankling sticks, I think was one of them.

Tenankling sticks. What are those, man? Teninkling sticks are not the same as teninkling sticks. What is it again? Teninkling sticks. Teninkling. Is that it? Yeah, teninkling. What the fuck are those things?

Teninkling sticks. Yeah, I know, but what are they? What do they look like? They're like little sticks you play ball with. Oh, with the fucking, I know, but what are they? What do they look like? They're like little sticks. Oh, with the fucking, you know, packed up ends. No? Those are brushes, aren't they?

Those are brushes. Well, what's the fucking to-link-nick? Link. Bob's just freaking me out, man. But I can't do this. You sound like you're stroking out there. I am, man. See, this stuff is creepy stuff. Like, I'm... Maybe we should get this game going. I'm pissed off about something.

What? I remembered. There's a new device for women. Yeah. That they would use to... Pleasure themselves, I guess you would say. Okay. So a sex toy you're talking about.

A dildo, yeah. Dildo. And after you- Is that what a dildo is? A sex toy? Yes. A vibrator, man. Really? But after it makes the lucky person orgasm,

it orders you pizza. Ricky. No fucking way. Yes, but there's no such device out for a man. There's not one out for a woman either. That's got to be a joke. Search it. How does it order you a pizza? It connects to the fucking internet

and says pizza time. I don't know if I believe this, man. Does it speak? How does it order it? It's probably like an online order, maybe. Yeah, but that sounds fucked. Maybe it talks. I don't know.

I didn't really look into it that much. I'm just mad there's not one for a man. That sounds fucked. What would it be for a man? Same deal, but... But what would the toy be? What the fuck? I don't know. That sounds fucked. What would it be for a man? Same deal, but... But what would the toy be? What the fuck?

I don't know. My dad used to tell me they used to sell these things at truck stops. What things? A vac-jack or something. Yeah, a jack-vac. Well, just put an internet in that. Get him to talk and do the ordering. So you would like to have a jack back that orders you a pizza?

Or maybe it could be set to order different meals each time. But why couldn't you just order it after the... Because you just want to relax after you're done and do nothing. So you want to own a jack back that can do your daily chores after it melts you. No, just for 20 minutes. You know what a jack back is, right? It's basically like a thing for a cow's udder. You plug it into your cigarette lighter, pop it on your wiener, and it melts you.

You seem to know an awful lot about these things. Well, I've been around truckers, Ricky. You know that. Okay. Have you ever used one? I've never used a jack pack, but I've seen them in different rigs of cabs. Did you ever pick one up?

I've never held a jack pack in my hand, no. I have no interest in that. Just search Dildo Orders Pizza. I'm true. Oh, fuck, man. Ricky. God, I'm too fucked to do, fuck, man. Ricky, it- God, I'm too fucked to do this, boys. Gilda orders pizza.

Yeah, I totally fucked that up. Be funny if the FDI went through your fucking laptop after this day. What the fuck is he trying to order that for? If who went through his laptop? The FDI, or whatever they're called. The FDI. Or whatever they're called. The FDI. The Food and Drug

Intel Agency. Wow. Why? This was a mission, man. Did you find it? How is it a mission to type in Dildo orders pizza? I know, man. It's not a mission. You should be good at typing in the word Dildo. Domino's Pizza. Got it going. Domino's?

Okay. I didn't know it was tied in with a fucking pizza yeah man okay what are you talking domino's doesn't sell dildos that order pizzas for you what does that say i can't see you yeah letters are awful small. It's fucking huge, the font. Can you get that chipper? This dildo orders Domino's pizza after you come. See? I wasn't shitting you. So it is real. This dildo orders Domino's pizza after you come. What website is this on?

That doesn't seem real. It's on Domino's website. Domino's.ca. Sync up your air still. They're going to have to come out with one for everybody. You should call, Ricky, we should call Domino's customer service and ask them if they're going to have a jack back that orders pizza for you.

Get them on the phone. I'll call them right the fuck now. Alright, look up Domino's customer service and ask them if they're going to have a jack back that orders pizza for you. Get them on the phone. I'll call them right the fuck now. All right. Look up Domino's. Please. You're going to call Domino's for me? Yes. Ricky wants to talk to customer service. Let's see what happens here.

Can you get me a number? Just a second, man. Jesus. We could at least leave them a message. Domino's pizza. In the meantime, we could talk about the cannibal gardener that hacked off his boss's penis and ate it in a soup, if you like. Sure, man, let's talk about it. What the fuck were you...

What's the deal on that now? I couldn't pronounce the country where it happened, but it It was one of those countries that are hard to pronounce. What letter did he start with? He got in a fight with a fucking, his boss, over money. Yeah. Killed him. Just hacked his penis off and he ate some soup with some spices. Like you would do.

Like you would do? Well, that's kind of a joke, but... Why? Fuck. I don't know. Is that how he got his revenge? I don't think that's really revenge, is it? Eat your cock and some soup.

All right, I got a number. Na, na, na, na, na. What is it? What the fuck? 4-4-6? Yeah. 4-4-4-4. Well, I need the area code. It's here, man. What the fuck? 446? Yeah. 4444.

Well, I need the area code. It's here, man. What do you want to fucking call? You can't just call us. I'm not calling Domino's. I want to call the headquarters. Customer service. Like Domino's. For fuck's sake.

So you thought you were going to ask the dude at the... We're not going to order pizza. We're not going to order a fucking Deldo pizza. Go to dominoes.ca. Head office. Scroll to order pizza. We're not going to order a fucking dildo pizza. Go to dominoes.ca. Head office. Scroll to the bottom. Okay, that's all you had to say, man. Scroll to the bottom of the page to where it says contact us,

and then look for their corporate headquarters. Holy fuck. We can at least leave a message, and you just say, look, I saw there's a dildo that can order pizza. How come there's no jack vac? I need a jack vac that orders pizza. It doesn't have to be a jack vac, but there should be a version for men. So a little pocket thing.

Or a flashlight. I don't know what that is. Me neither. Okay, we're going to go right to the head office. Yes. It is in Michigan. Okay. All right, you want to do this? Yeah, what's the phone right to the head office. Yes. It is in Michigan. Okay. All right, you wanna do this?

Yeah, what's the phone number? Just a second. Corporate. Corporate headquarters. This is fucking, this is pretty exciting. Well, it's gonna be. This fucking internet was a little bit better. It might be easier.

Come on, you motherfucker. All right. You got it? Just about. Oh, my God. Okay, corporate. Here we go. Corporate site.

One. Okay. Business partners. Investors. Just give me a phone number that we can call. Just, I'm trying to get one here, man. This weather woman in Argentina,

she insured her ass for $125,000 against all risks. What would that include, I wonder? That's what I was wondering. Like, what is a risk to your ass? I guess a shark bite? Contact us. A shark bite? Remember Jacob?

A tiger clawing? Remember Jacob tried to take a shit in the woods and he sat in a bear trap? Oh, fuck, yeah, that would suck. That clamped right on his ass and he still has those bite mark scars on there. Yeah, only Jacob could fuck up taking a shit. All right, man.

You got it? But it's fucked. It just says call 131-888. What are you talking about? It says call, man. Oh, fuck, it's a FaceTime. That might be better. Call them on FaceTime, then. All right, just a second here, man. Oh, fuck, it's a FaceTime. That might be better. Call them on FaceTime, then.

All right, just a second here, man. For fuck's sakes, boys. Why would you insure your ass? I mean, don't get me wrong. It's quite nice. Mine? Well, yours probably is. I don't know.

I haven't seen it for a while. Well, all I heard you say was, why would you insure your ass? I mean, it is quite nice. Why would she insure her ass? Oh. Well, why wouldn't you? Is she hoping something's going to happen to her ass? No, Ricky. She's not running an insurance scam. She probably, I don't know, maybe she has ass fans or something and she doesn't want to lose her fan base. I don't know what could possibly happen.

If you could insure something on your body, what would you insure, Ricky? Uh, well, besides the obvious, uh, probably my eyes. You would insure your eyes? I like to see. Yeah, I like it too. Seeing's great. I should get insurance on my eyes.

Suck to lose them. Ricky, I don't... I have backups. Well, even if you get them insured, you're not going to get backups. What the fuck's the point of having insurance? Well, they're not... I don't think they have replacement eyes, Ricky. They just mean if you lose your eyes, you're gonna need money for, you know, new... Well, with her, she'd need a new ass implant, I guess.

Yes, she would. But your eyes, you're gonna need, you know... Maybe a seeing eye dog that you can't afford. You got his eyes? Oh, Ricky, they lead you around. You've seen people walking around with the dog? Yep. Blind people? Well, the dog leads them around so they don't walk into walls and stuff. Do they ever fuck up? I'm sure there's been cases where seeing&I dogs have walked them off glass.

Yeah, I don't think I'd trust it. It is still a dog. That dog is probably 50 times smarter than you, Ricky. If you pissed the dog off and didn't give him enough treats, he'd probably just say, fuck you, you're going out in front of a bus, bud. Whammo. I got it. And then what are they going to say, oh, the dog fucked up?

No. Ricky, that's like a murder mystery plot you're writing. The dog murdered him by leading him out into the... I bet it happens all the time. We should look it up. One. Oh, you've got the number? I've got the number.

Okay, here we go. One. 734. 7, here we go. One. Seven, three, four. Seven, three, four. Nine, three, zero. Oh, just wait. Nine, three, zero. Thirty, thirty.

Oh, just wait. What's fucking happening here? Oh, my fuck. One, seven, three, four. Nine, three, zero. Nine, three, zero. Thirty, thirty. Thirty, thirty. Okay, so this is where you call Domino's to order Jack Vac Pizza ordering devices. You might have to, like, ask for that department.

Which department would you call us? The penis department? Okay, just wait. I've got a secret thing here that works on my phone here. I'm glad you just told everybody Domino's. Your Domino's pizza call may be monitored or recorded for quality assurance purposes. You're gonna be happy about that.

Right on. Okay, listen. Who should I ask for? The president. Uh, good question. Um, maybe somebody with customer service? Thank you. Good going, man. Thank you for calling Domino's and have a great day.

You too. Your Domino's pizza call may be monitored or recorded for quality assurance purposes. They're gonna monitor it. I hid, I did a... They can't trace my number though, Reggie. I got a little device that hides it. Fuck. Why is there no food here? What's the deal on that one?

Bubbles fucking banned snacks again. Are you kidding me, man? Bubbles Banner. That's your new name. When you feel like this, you want snacks. Ricky, you should tell them it's Ricky from the Sundaydale Trailer Park column. This makes me want to dance. Do it, man. Dance. Dance away.

I wish that Justin Trudeau was here to show us some fucking moves. What do you mean? He was doing some dancing I saw on the TV. Over in India? Yeah. Yeah, I thought he did some nice dancing. Some good moves. What did you think?

I liked the guy yeah it's sort of putting me out of work here soon with the legalizing stuff but it's good but was it was it Halloween over there hmm no man no Ricky why cuz I just read that there some people call mr. dressed up so I don't know if he dressed up for Halloween. No, he was wearing the Indian sort of clothing, but everybody over there was like, what the fuck are you on, bud? Because we don't dress like that all the time.

That's just sort of, you know, for movies or whatever. So he just dressed like that for what? To try to fit in? Fucking legs coming off my chair. Thank you for calling Dominance Pizza Customer Care. All agents are currently busy. Please

hold for the next available... Oh man, they're busy. They're busy. They must be taking a lot of calls about this. Oh yeah. All the calls are about jackbacks and dildos. So who was he over visiting? Well, probably the president or whatever they have over there in India. So if he came over here, would he dress like this? Like this. Tell them you saw the dildo first. Thank you for calling Domino's Customs and Support. My name is Jordan. How may for calling Domino's customer support.

My name is Jordan. How may I help you? Hi, Jordan. My name is Corey Traverson. Just calling about...we saw this weird thing on the... about this dildo that orders pizza from you guys, I guess. I'm sorry? It's a vibrator. I guess there's a vibrator or a dildo that, after you finish your business, it orders pizza from Domino's.

Do you know anything about this? That I am unaware of. I have not heard anything regarding that. Okay, I was also wondering if they have, like, a man version coming for that soon. Does he want us to send him the link? We could, yeah, we'll send him the link, I guess.

But I think it's great work you guys are doing. Okay. And I appreciate bringing this to our attention here. So, this is a app you saw? I mean, sorry. Yeah.

Yeah. It sure is. Yeah, it says it orders pizza from Domino's. Get his email address. We'll send it to him. We could send you a link. Do you have an email address we could send the link?

Because I don't know. You guys might want to know that this is going on. It's all over the Internet right now. There's some kind of a device that's ordering pizzas. I think it's a great idea. Well done, sir. I appreciate you guys bringing it to our attention here. I would like to get this link here from you if you can,

send it in so we can look into this a little bit further. Yes, write it down. Do you got a pen? We're getting a pen, man. We have a marker here. All right. Okay, where do I send it to, sir? It's going to be customercareteam, all one word.

Yep, customercareteam. At dominoes.com. At dominoes.com. All right. Excellent. And then, yeah, if you want to just provide that link, and you said you believe this is a vibrator, a dildo. Is this like a...

Like a coupon code? I'm just a little confused. No, it's a physical device that links to the Internet, and you do your stuff with it, and then it orders you a pizza. And it's weird, and I think you guys probably want to have a look at it. It's called Rub Grub. Rub Grub, it's called. Or the Diddle and Dine. All right, Frederick, well,

I do appreciate you bringing that to our attention. Yeah, so if we can get that link here, we would like to look into that a little bit further for you. Right on. And we can definitely get that sent out to the appropriate area. So if I could just go ahead and gather some contact information Right on. Yes. Corey? Treverson? Corey? Treversverson at gmail.com.

We should send it to her here. Okay. Actually, there's probably a better one. Here's a better one. There's probably a better one. Hang on. Um... All right. To Dr. Jim Ritzman, what should we do? Let's just make one up. Um.

At gmail.com, please. All right, thank you. And then, would you like to just have two forms of contact information. So may I get a telephone number as well? Yes, we can give you that here. Just on the office phone here. Let's just pull that up for you. And...

it is... Bob, what's happening here? Just, uh... Pulling her up here, fellas, everybody. All right, Pergable. Again, thank you for bringing this to our attention here. I do have it all documented, so I'm going to get that addressed to the appropriate area so we can look into the situation.

If you want to send that link, we can definitely go ahead and gather that as well. Yes, we're going to send that right now. All right, Pergable. send that right now. Right now. All right, Barry. Well, thanks again for giving us a call. Thank you, sir. You have a great day.

You too. All right. I bet you don't get one of those type phone calls every day. You know what? It feels like we did something good there. I don't know what's good about it. Domino's now knows. Well, we brought it to their attention, and hopefully they will come out with a male version.

Look at us, doing good. Feel good about that one, boys. Look at us. All right, now we can play the game. Saving the world. Dildos. Saving the world. Pete's ordering dildos, and we were a part of it.

Nice work, boys. We're a part of history. Did you send it to him? Yes, I did. Nice. Okay, yes, do you want to play my new game? What do you have to do to each other? Did you send it to him? Yes, I did Nice Okay, yes, do you want to play my new game? What do you have to do to each other? You don't do anything to each other, Ricky

Here's all that we do You guys are going to put these headphones on And I'm going to blast music so you can't hear me I saw this on the internet It's called the whisper challenge Okay, what does it mean? So you're going to wear these And then I'm'm gonna just say a random phrase while looking at you, and you're gonna try to guess what I'm saying by reading my lips.

We try to turn each other on by whispering? No, Ricky. There's no sexual part of it. Oh, good. Why's everything gotta be a sex game? Usually with you it is, isn't it? I don't play sax games. So what do I gotta do? You just put those on and then guess what I'm saying to you.

Just put them on my ears? Yeah. We gotta read his lips. Okay, I'll just put on some music. Oh, I hear something. Oh yeah. Make sure she's up. I hear something.

Okay. Good tunes, man. Okay, here we go. Yeah, it's music. Here we go. Okay. Good tunes, man. Okay, here we go. It's music. Here we go. Okay, ready? Kim Kardashian's ass. Kim Kardashian's ass.

Limpy dick balls with your hands? Kim Kardashian's ass. Can I cum in your eyes? What is it? Kim Kardashian's ass. What? Kim Kardashian's ass. Jim, the welder, is hot?

What? The welder is hot? What? Do it. Kim Kardashian's ass. Kim. One more time. Kim Kardashian's ass. Kermis.

Kim Kardashian's ass. Kerm... Kermis... Kim Kardashian's ass. Kim... Kim Kardashian's anus. Yes! You got it! That's it? Yes! Kim Kardashian's ass. Kim Kardashian's ass.

Right there. Pretty good, Ricky. Pretty good. Holy shit. Are we done? No, let's do another one. Put them back on. Alright. Okay, ready? Peanut butter and banana sandwich. Be-up-ba-da-bater-butter-bur-bur.

What? Peanut butter and banana sandwich. I gotta do it. Peanut butter and banana sandwich. Peanut butter and banana sandwich. Be it all but a basket. Peanut butter and banana sandwich. Peanut, be it all but a basket. Peanut butter and banana sandwich.

Be it all. Peanut butter and banana sandwich. Peanut butter, bacon, pancakes? Peanut butter and banana sandwich. Sandwich. Peanut butter and banana sandwich. Sandwich. Peanut butter and bacon sandwich. Oh, banana. Peanut butter and banana sandwich.

Fuck! One more. One more. One more. One more. Here we go. Just... Lamborghini Veneno. Lamborghini Veneno. Lamborghini Veneno. Let me click it.

Sick it. Do it. Lamborghini Veneno. Lamborghini Veneno. Let me your... Let me click a porno video. Let me click it. It's off.

It's done. Well, they're not next song. Oh, there we go. Oh, decent. You're listening to Dave Dudley, truck driving son of a gun. Lamborghini Veneno. Lend me your Elmo. Lamborghini Veneno. Some jello.

Lamborghini Veneno. Lemon filled jello. Lamborghini Veneno. Lemon-filled Jell-O. Lamborghini Veneno. One more time. Lamborghini Veneno. Lamber... One more time. Lamborghini Veneno. Lamborghini...

Momento? Veneno. Vare... Varego? Lamborghini. Lamborghini. Ferrari. Veneno. Lambo.

Lambo. I was close. I was fucking close. Is that it? That's pretty good, boys. That wasn't a bad game. You know what? You need like an instrumental.

I like my women. Oh, yeah. Dave Dudley. Well, there goes Joe. I'm low, keeping up his time. Turn it off. I said, I don't believe I say I'm wasting mine. I'm moving faster than a Jimmy A.

That's a great song. Good going, Bob. Nice one. That's a decent game, huh? It's really hard on the fucking head, man. It's really fucking hard. You get this fucking shit just blasting. Maybe if it was like...

When your mouth doesn't make normal letter... Yeah, maybe I should have been using instrumental music. Like the theme to Star Wars or something. Yeah, I would have gotten into it more. Yeah, I guess next time. We'll play that again. We'll do it better. Did we talk about the shark surfer?

The shark surfer. Didn't we? I don't know. This fucking guy. It's not even real, man. There was something else. Ricky thinks it's real. It's not real. I'm telling you right now. It's not fucking real, man. Are there something else? Ricky thinks it's real. It's not real. I'm telling you right now. It's not fucking real.

I've seen people almost do it. Jesus, that one's sensitive. Oh, fuck. Shark surfer. Oh, yeah. That one there, that just went by. Did you see that? There was a lady gonna... Oh, he just got eaten. Killers of the deep. This is the wrong one.

That's not good. Killers of the deep. That shark week. And then there was that firefighter that fucking pulled the ninja move. That was good. Yes. That was a good one. This is kind of long though, man. This guy, he throws in the meat, and then he jumps in.

He's sitting there with a surfboard. And he pretends like he got a shark coming. I don't think it's real, Ricky. You said it's real. It's not real, man. There's no way. I've heard of people doing it. It's catching on.

And then they're saying that the shark takes the bait and it drags him around fishing. I don't... That's so fucked. I think that somebody in a little shark submarine. Yeah. I don't know. It's a shark submarine.

That's not real, man. Or it's just somebody... Why aren't these other people freaking out? Like, oh, yeah, that guy just went by. It's probably somebody in a boat hauling, like, a fin on on a rope and then the rope continues to his surfboard. That's what it is, man. Because they don't show a line. Figuring it out, bubs. Alright, well it's cool anyway. I wish I could do it.

Do you have the firefighter that pulled the ninja move? Suck it, I need to turn this the fuck off. Yeah, turn it down first of all. Did he ever fucking... You need the soundtrack. That wasn't a cool ninja move. It could have went really bad. Yeah, he could have missed and then on the way by,

he knocked her. All right, this one's pretty cool, man. Yeah, so there's a lady, you know, who was gonna jump. She's obviously having some problems or whatever, and she thought she was going to maybe jump, and then this guy sneaks in to save her. But he does like a Jackie Chan move. I've seen Jackie Chan do that. The music they're playing, too, is like,

oh, he's going to fuck up, isn't he? She's going to bounce and go right over. No, he does. He executes it perfectly. Yeah. Watch this. I saw Jackie Chan do this in a movie before. Maybe this guy saw the same movie. But she doesn't know he's up there.

He's being very quiet. A lot of people are saying that he watched, like, Panther videos and Big Cat videos. He could have probably queued it up a few. Watch. He gets down into a crouch crouch and then he says, fuck it, I know how to move it. Boom! Saves the day.

Fuckin' moves. I guess he trained with Hoist Gracie, too. He saved the day anyway. Very, very good move. And then she doesn't die. That's the nice part. You know. Except, well, she wanted to, so she's probably not happy.

Well, no, I bet you she's probably like, thanks for doing that. I was just having some problems. Now I'm gonna go get help. Now I'm gonna go eat a bunch of pills. Wrecking. Alright, that's it. We're done. Are we? Yes, we are.

Should we be? Yeah, we're fucking done, man. Why are you so antsy? Because we've been doing this, I think it's been close to an hour, maybe 45 minutes. That's way too long, man. It's not too long. I got shit to do, seriously.

Are you having protein cravings? Fuck off, man. Protein cravings, that's what it is. All right, well. All right, sign her off, man. I'll sign her off. What's the date today? March 2.

Okay, boys, just so you know... Yes? I'm working on a guest, which we might have next week. Okay. And if we do, it's biggest guest ever. That's a pretty boiled statement.

In my opinion. Biggest guest ever, in my opinion. You obviously like this person a lot? Yes, I do. Level of sexiness from one to ten?

I don't, he's not sexy, Ricky. Maybe to ladies he is. Not, I don't mean it like that. He's just... He's probably the coolest man on earth. Is he successful? Yes. He is successful and he's the coolest man on earth, in my opinion. Is he rich? I don't know how rich he is. I'm sure he's doing all right.

Does he drink? I don't know if he drinks. Is he a player? I'm sure he'll have a beer with you. Okay. He's not a player, Ricky, no. Does he have a cool car? I don't know what kind of car he has. Where does he live? Boys, just leave it at... What types of clothes does he like to wear? That says a lot about a person. He's a nice dresser. Do you have him on speed dial? No, I do not have him on speed dial. Have you ever stalked this guy before in your life?

Be serious. Honest. Have you ever had a meal together? Just the two of you. I've never stalked him, and you guys have actually met him. If he kissed you, what would you do? I would not be happy. Okay.

I would not be happy. Draw the line at a kiss. You've met him already. I can't wait to see who this person is. Okay. Is he staying in your shed? I'm going to ask him to. Be nice if you would.

Do you think he'll buy us dinner? He might. Some drinks? I bet you he might, yeah. It's going to be good to see him again. Should we be straight or baked for this podcast? No, I would prefer it if you were not baked. Because he's not drug type fella.

Is there anything I could study to sound more smarter? Yes. But I can't tell you what, because then you'll know instantly. I'll just study everything. There you go. Learn a little bit about everything, Ricky. All right. Is there a book? It's exciting go. Learn a little bit about everything, Ricky. All right. Is there a book called that?

It's exciting, man. A little bit about everything? Yes, it's called Everything for Dummies. Really? Yeah, it's got everything in it. I wouldn't say I'm a dummy, but... No, it's for a dummy series. You know, how you got, like, you know...

Isn't that... ...cooking for dummies or fishing for dummies. Isn't that bullying bullying you're selling books but you're bullying at the same time Ricky it's a whole series of books they're famous

the four dummy series they don't mean it in a mean way they just mean well they're calling you a fucking dummy it's not a nice thing to say

yeah maybe we should call them want to call the corporate headquarters and say stop bullying people let's do that next time next time we're gonna call the four dummies people and tell them to stop bullying

what the you're calling me a dummy bullying the general public there all right all right tune in next week it's gonna be awesome Bye!