Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 138 - Sh*t Coin

Episode Date: April 9, 2018

Bubbles reveals he took financial advice from Donny, and has invested in Sh*t Coins! The Boys also discuss the legend that was Keyboard Cat, Ricky's new favourite holiday, and figure out a new name for Valentine’s Day. PLUS: Ricky’s art is auctioned off to the highest bidder! Episode 138 is brought to you by the official Trailer Park Boys Store, SwearNet.com (the only place to watch the video of this podcash), Liquormen's Ol' Dirty Canadian Whisky, and the Boys' own Freedom 35 lager!

Welcome to the Trailer Perk Boys podcast, brought to you in perkboysswearingit.com, the only place where you can see the video version of this podcast. Nice one. And go to trailerperkboysmerch.com and check out some merch, buy some stuff, please. They sponsor us too. What about the beer and the liquor? I was just getting to that, Richard. Also sponsored by Freedom 35, Drink the Dream, and Leckerman's all-dirty Canadian whiskey.

And a new beer is born. Try my new Ricky's Catch-23 malt liquor. It's stronger than you are. What the fuck is wrong with you? Different things. You okay or what? No, I'm not okay. I just got handed the stuff. And what? Keyboard Cat died.

Who the fuck's the Keyboard Cat? Keyboard Cat! He was... Heard about that little fuck. Very famous kid. He could play the piano. Died a couple weeks ago, didn't he, or something? What the fuck happened to him? Just old? Just said, that's it, I'm done? He got hit by a truck.

He didn't get hit by a truck, Ricky. Did the thing come down on the piano and squish him or something? Coyote got him. No, he was not. He just... I don't even know. He didn't get poisoned. Nobody poisoned him.

Did he get shot by a pelican? Let's just say he died, okay? Very upsetting keyboard cat. He was very famous. He was a good kitty. He could have died of old age, I guess, but most cats don't. Was that cat worth any money? Did he, like, actually make tons of money? Yes, he was worth money.

All cats are worth big money, but he was worth a lot, because he was... Million-dollar invention, right there. Pencil sharpener. What are you talking about? worth a lot because he was... Million dollar invention, right there. Pencil sharpener. What are you talking about, man? It's a million dollar idea. What is it? Pencil sharpener.

Rick, that pencil sharpener's been around for fucking eons. No, I know, but whoever came up with that one day, stoned and drunk, is fucking rich. Probably you're right. Oh, fuck. Rest in peace, keyboard cat. Rest in peace, you little fucker. So how much do you think a cat like that made in his lifetime?

Millions. Millions. Could he actually play the keyboard, or was it all fake? He was good. He was good, he could play a lot of tunes. Like what, just like, chopstick kind of thing? He played some nice stuff, some jazz. No, he didn't. He had some fancy jazz chords he could play, I'm telling you. Luck on him.

What a good boy. He's got his little sweater on. He's got his little sweater on. Well, I bet you the owners of that fucking cat are unhappy with that one now. That's a cash cow. Yep, there goes their fucking money. I mean, it wasn't money. It was money. It was money. It was money. It was money. Well, I bet you the owners of that fucking cat are unhappy with that one now.

That's a cash cow. There goes your fucking money. I mean, he wasn't worth it. He was not worth what Grumpy Cat's worth. Who's Grumpy Cat? You don't know who Grumpy Cat is. Didn't that cocksucker just win some money or something? He won some money. Grumpy Cat just won a settlement of 700 grand.

700 grand? 700,000. For what? Somebody was using his likeness. No way. That's Grumpy Cat. They were using his... Fuckin' him.

It's her, actually. Look how grumpy she is. That's Grumpy Cat. Everybody knows who Grumpy Cat is. Somebody used the likeness of this fucking cat, and they sued him, got 700 grand. Somebody was using Grumpy in is. Somebody used the likeness of this fucking cat and they sued him and got $700,000. Somebody was using Grumpy in a way that wasn't... Like a commercial or something.

...legal and Grumpy sued. Holy fuck, man. Grump's got fucking bent out of shape and sued and won $700,000. Should have been fucking... selling a sperm. It's a her, Ricky. Eggs?

Do they have eggs? Cats lay eggs, don't they? They don't lay eggs. They give birth to kittens. Like a litter of kittens. Bunny rabbits don't lay eggs, do they? No, they do at Easter. No, that's a commercial.

That's chocolate eggs, Ricky. That's a myth. The little bunny that goes, buck, buck, buck, buck, buck. And then it's like a little Cadbury. Oh, I like those little things. I wish I had one right now. Oh, me too, man. Cadbury Easter cream eggs. Remember that commercial? Where's your Easter candy? Did you bring any?

No, I didn't. I don't believe in Easter. Fuck. I eat all mine. I think it's fucking horse shit. And I don't like chocolate, so fuck Easter. It's all a fucking bunch of horse shit. Rising from the dead and bunnies shitting out chocolate eggs. They do, don't they?

No. No, they don't. They don't, Ricky. You just said they did. No, that's the myth, but it's all a commercial. You know, how can we make money? Oh, let's say that a Jesus bunny shits chocolate eggs that you need to buy. Then you make some money.

People do make money, huge money. Wasn't there a bunny back in history or was it a chicken that laid a golden egg? It's real gold. No, that's just a fairy tale, Ricky. It was on the news. It was on the news. I think so. It was on something.

It wasn't on the news. It's impossible. Ricky, if you can find me a link of the news story that said a fucking chicken laid a golden egg that was not related to the Moop Jackal. It might have been. Maybe it was an owl. An owl that laid a golden egg that was not related to the moop jacket. It might have been, maybe it was an owl. An owl that laid a golden egg. It was some kind of thing. I'm going to Google that for you.

Owl. Owl that laid a golden egg. Results, zero. I hope it comes up. Golden. Lucky grumpies. So you mean to tell, these fucking animals are making a shit ton of money? Like that guy, that Grumpy thing.

How much do you think he's raking in a year? Grumpy? Grumpy cat. I bet you Grumpy made five million last year. No he didn't. Jesus. She. She. We gotta start buying ugly animals. You've got lots of cats. Can't you find one that's like that? You tell me that kitty's not worth five million, I'll fucking slap you in the tits.

No kitty's worth five million. That kitty is. The owner should have been having kittens. Gorgeous. Million buck kitten. Grumpy cat's gorgeous kitty. Just fucking miserable. How much would you pay for one of its kittens?

Well, if I had the money, I'd pay anything I had. There you go. Love to have a kitten. That's where the real money would be. A mini grumpy. Mini grumpies. There's no owls that laid golden eggs, Ricky, okay? Well, there's a big surprise.

Well, something's laid it. Ask what lays golden eggs in history. It was a fucking goose that laid a golden egg. Okay, it was a fucking goose then. But it wasn't true, man. It was just like a fucking... I thought it turned something into gold from the pressure. Maybe it was a diamond then.

Do you think Moby Dick was real too? And the buddy spent a fucking couple days inside of him and had a shop set up? I don't think that was real, but there was a fucking whale named inside of them and had a shop set up. I don't think that was real, but there was a fucking whale named Mowgli Dick that a boat went in. That was real. Or was that Pinocchio? No, it's the goose that laid the golden egg. It says these people had the golden egg and then they fucking hacked it apart to get all the fucking metal at once inside it.

Can I just back up for one second? What the fuck do you think Pinocchio did? Didn't he do something? Pinocchio? Pinocchio was not inside Moby-Dack at any point in his life. I thought somebody, Jalapeno, was on a boat that went in there in a whale and somebody had to get him out by tickling him. So it was Pinocchio.

It was inside tickling him. I'm thinking of Geppetto, not Jalapeno. And he was never inside a whale, I don't believe. Fuck, I don't know. I've got everything all fucked up. I'm going to start reading kids' books again. Get them straightened away. What other kids' books do you know?

So the goose and the golden egg were not... That is real, is not real. That's just a little story, man. It's like a fucking kid's story. What's the point? Why would you make that up? It's fucking dumb. People like me believe in it. I was gonna start raising fucking... No one's gonna start raising goose to fucking get golden eggs. I thought like every millionth egg might have been gold.

No, man. Ricky. But there is pearls inside of oysters. Maybe you're getting that fucked up. So a poister shits. Oyster. It's an oyster. An oyster shits pearls?

No, there's a pearl that makes them inside. It's from sand or something. And they're worth money. I wish I could do that. You know what? Stephen Hawking just died, and he's one of the most brilliant people in the history of the world, and you guys are talking about fucking Pinocchio

inside Wales and pollster shitting pearls. No, he's talking about... So you're putting us on the same level as him. That's nice. No, you shouldn't even reference your name when it comes to him at all. Poor Stephen Hawking. Speaking of...

God bless Stephen Hawking. He's warned us about that we're gonna fucking all die. When? Well, he's had various theories. Hopefully not too fucking soon. What do you mean? What is it that the theory is here that we're gonna die? Well, his theories were that

we're eventually gonna fuck in this planet. We're gonna fuck it right to the point where we're done. We already did that. Yeah, that's happening. It's coming. So he was encouraging us, you know, the human race has to expand out into the universe, settle on Mars, settle on the moon, because we're going to fuck the Earth too bad. I live on the moon. Get a good view. You would have a good view, depending on where you're at if you're on the dark side. Pink Floyd styles, then you don't get a good view.

You don't get a view of shit. So is that always dark or just at night? I don't get it. The dark side of the moon? No, the moon. Yeah. The way it moves. Yes. Turns, it always stays.

The dark side's always dark, I believe. All right, so, fuck. Everything's fucking falling apart here. Jesus Christ. If this is the moon, and this is the moon, and this is the earth, just show me how they go around. Okay, so here's, look at this.

This is the dark side, or you're just the back. Here's the dark side. Okay. So here's the earth and it's turning. Okay. But the moon does this. Ah. It keeps going around and it keeps its dark side, I believe.

So it's dark all the time. Well, no, I mean it's not dark when it goes by the sun. The sun would shine on it, but it's the dark side from our perspective, Freckie. I'll see you on the dark side of the moon. So it's not a dark side at all It is It's a side we don't see is what it should be called Moon, side we don't see

Mama got on the road out of bed And she ran to the police station Papa said, oh, if I get that boy I'm gonna keep him in the house of detention I'm on my way I don't know. I'm gonna keep him in the house of attention. I'm on my way. I don't know where I'm going. I'm on my way.

Taking my time, but I don't know where. Goodbye, Rosie, the queen of Corona. Sing it. Sing me and Julio down by the schoolyard. Yeah, that's great. Nice, man. Paul Simon.

Paul Simon. I thought it was that other guy. Who? I forget his name. What other guy? There's only... The, uh, you know. He's a sir and all that. Sir?

With who, Simon? Simon says? No. Uh, sir... Galahad? He plays the piano. Plays the piano. Elton John.

Sir Elton John. Boom. Oh, that was weird. Mm-hmm. Didn't he sing, he didn't sing Julio? Elton John never sang me and Julio. Maybe... That was weird. Mm-hmm. Didn't he sing, he didn't sing Julio? Elton John never sang me and Julio. Maybe. That was Paul Simon. Maybe he did a cover of it.

Did we ever start the podcast? No. Yes, it's been going on. But did we ever say welcome? Oh fuck, no we didn't. No, you were crying. Yeah, you got crying. Well, I'm sorry, I'm drinking. Hey, what the fuck's going on, everybody?

This is the official Trailer Prep Boybs podcast. Coming at you this episode. It's 1.38, and it's April 6th. Done. Yeah, we're about 15 minutes in. That's all right. Time to say the... Ricky, what are you doing?

Speaking of gold. What are you doing? We weren't speaking of gold, were we? Golden eggs. Golden eggs, okay. It was a while ago. There was a fucking plane that took off in Russia, and $375 million worth of gold fell out of the arse end of her.

No way. Yeah, fucking problem with the door. Jesus Murphy. Three tons. Three tons of gold. What? You think the dummy's working at the airport, but why would you report it? It's a ticket.

See ya. Well, I bet you, listen, bet you right now Putin had something to do with it. He's like, oh, just leave that hatch unlocked. Out she goes. Putin goes and gets it. Now he's got a new car. He is, yeah, he is the richest man in the world. Is he?

He steals, doesn't he? Putin, I would not want to fuck with that guy. I think he's got the craziest mansion. KGB, man. Craziest mansion in the world. The whole fucking back end. The ex-KGB. And Donald Trump acts like, oh, yeah, Putin can't outsmart me.

I'm as smart as he is. Putin could outsmart him with the fucking brains. I like the guy. Who? Putin. No, Ricky, he murders people. Oh, okay, I didn't know about that. Well, I like him other than that.

Yeah, I just, I mean, I bet you something to do with that gold. I bet you that gold's in his fucking garage right now. Yeah, about 120 million bucks. Yeah, he's got her in his garage. 120? That's a lot of cash. I bet you if you researched it when he goes to the... 375 million fucking dollars.

I bet you if you researched it when he goes to the shop to get a drink, he just throws down a little gold nugget. Bet you a thousand bucks. I would not fuck with that guy. No? No, sirree, Bob. Can he scrap or what? Putin, I bet you he can fucking tangle.

He's in good shape. I bet you he can tangle. He's got a nice body. He's got a nice body? What? How do you know? He puts pictures out of himself. Fashion, and he's got a nice physique. I? How do you know? He puts pictures out of himself fishing, and he's got a nice physique. I don't mean in a sexual way. I just mean he's got a nice body.

It sounds kind of like that way. And I bet you it makes Donald Trump crazy, because Donald Trump couldn't put out pictures of himself with his shirt off fishing. I wish he would. Oh, I wish he would, too. Putin's all jacked. Sounds like you really, really like this guy. Oh, as if you've never seen pictures of Putin with no shirt on.

Google it. I thought his name was Vladimir Pupin when I first heard about him. How does that make you feel, bubs? There he is. Look, I mean... He's in good shape. Any moving parts right now for you? No, I just mean the man's in good shape. I don't mean I'm sexually attracted to him. He's Russian, first of all.

I wish we lived in Taiwan. Why? Because something cool happened there. They had a nine-hour rainbow. Imagine just being baked. B baked as fuck for nine hours. How does that make you feel? Butterflies? That's just proving my point. The man's got a nice body shape. He's got a nice body.

He's got a nice body. Doesn't mean I want to do things to him. He's fishing, he's fit, he's got a nice body. I wish I had a body like him. You can't. I mean, he doesn't fucking... I guarantee you he doesn't eat fucking 14 fucking pounds of McDonald's food every day like you know who. Randy? Hmm?

Okay, Bubs, how does that make you feel? Okay, we gotta stop looking at... Obama and feel? Okay, we've got to stop looking at Putin. Obama and Putin. Obama's got a beautiful body, too. Obama's got a nice, nice body. I don't mean it in a weird way. I'm just saying. If I could have a body like President Obama.

Okay, one to ten. One to ten. Ten being hot, okay? No, not hot. Putin, one to ten. Just, ten. Ten being hot, okay? No, not hot. Putin, one to ten. Just, you know. You know what I mean. Putin, I think he's an eight.

Okay. Obama. Obama, he's an eight and a half. Eight and a half. All right. Good-looking fella. Okay, bubs. But I'm not.

Don't twist this into I want to bang one of them. Who said you'd rate this shirtless man? But bubs. Do not twist this into the fact that anything weird, I'm just judging them on pure looks. Oh, man, you're really going to like this one. That's him on the horse, shirtless. He looks great on a horse.

He looks great. He looks great on a horse. He looks great. He looks great on a horse. If we're just talking pure physicality, I wish I could ride around on a horse looking like that. Okay, if you could ride around on a horse with no shirt with this guy, would you do it? Not with him, no. Like barebacking.

Barebacking who? The horse or Putin? Do you mean Dublin? Like holding Putin around the waist? Well, whatever. You use your imagination and you just come up with any dull scenario. No, I would not ride around on a horse with Putin. Pear back mountain.

The Russian. Or broke down. What was it? Broke back mountain. Yeah, that was it. No, I'm not sexually attracted to Vladimir Putin. Let's make that clear right now. So just Obama?

No, not Obama. I just think they both have nice bodies. Oh, they got like a Putin shirtless challenge. There's actually people throwing photos in saying, hey, put me up against Putin. What do you think I am? I don't like him. You don't like his body? No, he's too big, too muscular up against Putin. What do you think I am? I don't like him. You don't like his body?

No, he's too big, too muscular, too hairy. You like the cuddly kind of feeling. You don't want to grab onto some soft shit, right? Yeah, I don't know what you're doing. Muscly stuff. I'm comfortable in my sexuality, just so everybody's aware. Okay. Now, if you want to dig up some pictures of Patrick Swayze and see if he's...

I was waiting for that. No, that's... I'm good. Pull up a picture of Swayze with no shirt on. See if you'll get a boner. I bet $1,000 you'll get a boner. Come on, Pops. I bet $1,000 you'll get a boner.

You know what? I didn't say anything like, back to you. Bring out the old boner. Just saying. You used to pull up a picture of him when he danced with Chris Farrelly on. No, I didn't say anything like that to you. Bring out the old boner. Just saying, you used to pull up the picture of him when he danced with Chris Farrelly on it. No, I didn't. When he was the Chippendale. That was a funny skit.

And you used to say, oh, my fuck, I'd like to take a piece of that. Like to take a piece of that. Come on. That's what you used to say. Oh, fuck. Public. All right, what the fuck is the deal with this dog? I bet you this dog is making a shit ton of money

because they say he looks human. I fucking hate him. Oh, I don't like it. Kind of looks like, what's his name, Jail Dougie, that dickhead? You know, the guy I'm talking about, fuck-faced Dougie? That's Dougie. Dougie Knuckles? That's him.

That doesn't look like Dougie Knuckles. It kind of does, man. What's your problem with the dog? So they're trying to get rid of him. It's his lips. He's got pursed lips. He's got human lips. They're saying he looks human.

It's photococked. No, man. That's the real deal. He looks pretty human. It's his lips. And they're probably making money off this dog. He's got nice lips. I've got to start buying weird-looking animals.

Get rich. You've got to try to get that going, man. How do you not have a fucked up looking cat? I've had many over the years. How come we're not rich? Remember Venetian? No. You don't remember Venetian blind, my kitty?

With teeth stuck straight out? You couldn't see? No, no, his teeth went straight out. And he could eat an apple through a Venetian blind. Remember him? He was fucked. His teeth were horizontal. Couldn't fucking rich. They didn't come down this way.

They grew out this way. Could have been fucking rich. You should have been making some money off him. He was a decent kitty. Fuck, he was a nice kitty. Didn't you have a five-legged cat? Five-legged? Or was it three?

Three. I've had a few three-legged. Five-legged cat. Never had a five-legged cat before. A five-legged cat would make some money. I. I've had a few three-legged. Five-legged cat. Never had a five-legged cat. A five-legged cat would make some noise. I had a cat with a great big hammer on him. Maybe that's what I'm thinking of. It was almost like a fifth leg. It was dragging on the ground.

Could have made some money off that. Cat porn or something. No, I didn't want that. You should be rich by now. Seeing all these other cat people rich. You should be rich. I didn't want him. I didn't want him getting into the porn industry.

It's too hard on kitties. Kitty porn? No, don't even say that. I'm saying K-I-T-T-Y. I understand that, but I was never involved in putting my cats in pornography. Okay. I'm against that. Well, that's probably a good thing, man.

That's fucking gross. What the fuck is up with this cryptocurrency shit, man? Like, they're saying now they're turning them into heaters to heat your fucking home because they give off so much heat.

Like, I don't understand it, man. Cryptocurrency, that's the shit to start mining. I don't understand it either. Here's what I understand. They mine it. In order to mine cryptocurrency,

you need big, giant supercomputers that take tons of electricity and can generate a bunch of heat. But I don't know what the mining part means. Where do you mine it from? You just mine it out there. The interweb, I guess. I know, but think about that.

Mining it. Well... You can't hold the thing in your hand, I don't believe. I'm not sure, man. You gotta figure this out, Bob. I'm gonna look more into cryptocurrencies. There is a ton of money in it. I know we've talked about it before, but...

Because I've got about 40 of those Bitcoin things. Oh, yeah? Yeah, apparently Are they worth anything? They're worth the fucking shit ton. How many do you have? 40 40 Bubs man. See wait a second You've got they worth like almost 10 grand each What Don't I'm gonna check it out right now Aren't they worth like almost 10 grand each? What?

I'm going to check it out right now. I've got 40 bitcoins in my bitcoin account. You've got to fucking get some money out for us, man. That's a lot of money. Am I rich? That's four grand, isn't it? No, man. I mean, no, we're not.

40 grand. $448,619.74. Canadian. We're rich. Oh,619.74. Canadian. We're rich. Oh, my God. What? We've got $448,000. Look, right there. 40 Bitcoin.

You are shitting me, man. I don't understand, though. What? Like, I don't even know what they are. I just know I have them in an account. Well, you got to get out of the fucking account. You got to fucking cash that in. Half a million bucks.

Half a million fucking dollars. Holy fuck, bros. Oh, my God. We're rich, boys. We're million bucks. Half a million fucking dollars. Holy fuck, bubs. Oh, my God. We're rich, boys. We're rich. What do we do with it? I don't know. Let's move to Taiwan.

Just wait. Let me think about this for a second. Let's move to Taiwan in nine-hour rainbows. Get baked. I've got to count. It might not have been Bitcoin that I had. Oh, bubs. Dick coin.

Think about this. This is a half a million bucks. There was a thing Donnie started called shit coins. Are they cryptocurrency? that I had. Oh, Puffs. Bitcoin? Think about this. This is a half a million bucks. There was a thing Donnie started called shitcoins. Are they cryptocurrency? I believe. Well, they're still worth 400. He might have, you know what?

I had bitcoins and Donnie convinced me to trade them for shitcoins. That was a bad trade. How much is shitcoin trading at? What's shitcoin trading at? What's shitcoin trading at? There's no such thing as shitcoins. Right now you're looking at the Bitcoin, 149,500 bucks each. Holy fuck.

You ever shit any coins? I shit a quarter once. How did that feel? Not good. Ricky, you shit a roll of quarters one time. I bought 850 bucks worth of... I remember shitting one quarter after Pancake Tuesday. I don't remember the roll.

There's such thing as shit coins. Yes, I have shit coins. What are they worth? I've got 40 of them. What are they worth? 40,000 each. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Fuck off.

I've got shit coins. 40,000 times 40. 1.6 million dollars. 1.6 million fucking dollars. Okay. Divide it by three. Yes. What are we at?

No, not divide it by three. Divide it by fucking three. I'll give you an allowance off my shit coins. I'm not getting a fucking shit coin allowance. We're splitting. Why do you get one third? One million because I'm figuring this out for you right now and I'm gonna help you get them out.

Divide it by three. I don't need your help. I'll help too. So we're looking at, look at that, and it's a fucking cool number. That's each. $533,333. Holy shit.

$33.33. I'm fucking buying a lot of33,000. Holy shit! I'm fucking buying a lot of stock. When I get on my computer, I'll pull out my shitcoin account. This is perfect timing. You know what I'm fucking getting? Ferrari. Yes. No. Ford GT. That's what I want. I don't know what that is, but I'm getting one too.

And I'm buying a Navy ship. You're not getting a third of my fucking shitcoins. I'll tell you right now I'll give you a few grand each. Just enough to get a car. That's all I want. I'll give you enough to get a Monte Carlo. Nope. Four GT. This is perfect timing because you know what I was

planning on doing? Robbing something later because I have no fucking money. I was going to be smarter than that. This fucking dude in Indiana, he fucked up bad. He took a cab to rob a bank, and then he took a cab home. Oh, yeah, that's something you'd do, Ricky. Well, I was thinking, you could take a cab there, no problem, but you don't want to take it home,

because then he got caught an hour later. But if you did take a cab there, I think that would be fine. Look at this guy, Ricky. So I'm not fucking robbing the bank now anyway. You want to hear something fucked? $533,000. Holy fuck.

Ricky, you're not. You're not getting. Look, if this is real and I actually have this money, it's going to be all invested. No, man. You do. You're going to invest. You do what you want with your third.

Bob, you got to at least get something. Registered retirement savings plans. Fuck that, man. I'm going to give you a scholarship to a university. What were you going to show me, man? Here we go. Bob's. What?

$472,999. Perfect. I've got enough for GT and it says buy it now for a little cheaper here and auction is up soon so we don't have much time

let's get this cashed in that's a nice looking car right there fuck you're not paying a half million dollars for a car. It's worth the increase in value, by the way. Look at this guy, Ricky. It was stopped by the police.

Concerned members of the public called the police. Driver was unaware what the problem was. Look what he was doing. What the fuck? He was driving on that. He's driving on his brake. Hold it up. How the fuck would you not notice that? Because you're fucked.

Especially if it was a front-wheel driver. He was driving on the fucking... Yeah. They should have tested him for fucking drugs and liquor for sure. That's insane. They did, he was fine. He's not fine, he needs to go to a... he's fucked in the head. ...asylum.

There's more reports coming out that UFOs are definitely real. No fucking kidding. I've seen a couple. Former manager of the Department of Defense Aerospace Threat Program says UFOs are fucking real, baby. Awesome. I've been saying that for how long? Chris Hadfield even said... Well, he said he's never fucking seen one before, okay? He said he's never seen one, but he said he believes that, you know, to think that we're the only ones out there

in 92 billion fucking light years. Well, I said, how do we know they're not lying to us? And he said, who's they? That's me. I'm not lying to you. Well, I know that, but... I believes in them. Eyes does.

That's great English, Rick. You gotta work on that man seriously. You're reverting back the way you used to talk when we were kids. That's what happens when you get liquor and drugs in you. What was I pissed off about? Oh, fuck, yeah. I was pissed off last night. Fuck. At what? There was a holiday in March that I didn't even know about.

What was what? March 14th. Okay. What is it? It's steak and blow job day. It's what? I had no idea. That's steak and blow job day? Yeah. Okay.

So what's the deal with that? Fuck is that? I don't know. Look it up. I found out they had it. Steak and blow job day? Yeah. It's fucking...

March 14th. Steak and blow job day. Yeah. I caught Cory in a lie. You know, and he said that... He said, didn't you... I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. 14th? Steak and blowjob day. Yeah, I caught Cory in a lie. And he said that...

He said, didn't you get your steak and your other thing too? And I said, no, I don't even want your fucking totem. He said, it's a holiday, man. Steak and blowjob day. Sometimes steak and BJ day. Or steak and cut knobbler day. Steak and what? Cut knobbler? Steak and knobber day.

Oh, knobber. Nobber. It was created in the United States as a mail response to Valentine's Day and celebrated a month later on March 14th. The steak and knobber day. The weird part was that Corey was only with Carl that day. Who the fuck comes up with these stupid holidays, man?

That's not a fucking stupid holiday. It's in Wikipedia. So Valentine's Day is on February 14th and some fucking greaseball thought, I want to have my own holiday where you don't give out chocolates and hearts, you get a fucking drive a steak into you and you get a BJ. No questions asked. Yeah. Well, that's fucked up. I don't think that's a very good holiday. It was another, oh yeah. I guess they don't think that's a very good holiday.

It was another... Oh, yeah. I guess they'd have to change Valentine's... In order to make it fair, they'd have to change Valentine's to... You'd have to have oral sex with the woman. Make it even. No?

I guess, Ricky. If you want it to really, you know, make things all fair. Okay. There's an official website, I think. What would you call it? You'd have to rename Valentine's Day to... Probably not a steak. Oh. A salad and...

Salad and what? Salad? Where are you getting salad from? Isn't that what a lot of women like to eat? There's nothing salad-y about a steak and a blowjob. He's trying to get the female equivalent of steak. Renaming Valentine's Day to make it fair. Steak and blowjob day for the female would be what? Something in an eat? Or a...

Yeah. I forget. Ascargill and an eid? Or, uh... Yeah. I forget. Ascargill and an eid? I like it. What about chicken and a munch? Sounds fancy. What is it? Chicken and a munch. Boneless chicken breast and a munch.

Why do you think ladies like boneless chicken breast? Because lots of ladies are liking, you know, just, you know what I mean. And on that note, I'm going to get drunk right now. I'm already drunk, boys. Well, I'm going to take her up a notch, boys. How do you like it? I'm going to get drunk. I'm going to get drunk.

I'm going to get drunk. I'm going to get drunk. I'm going to get drunk. I'm going to get drunk. I'm going to get drunk. I'm going to get drunk. I'm going to get drunk. I'm going to get drunk. I'm going to get note, I'm going to get drunk right now. I'm already drunk, boys. Well, I'm going to take her up a notch, boys.

I didn't finish my fucking picture, but oh well. What is this picture, Ricky? It's just a coloring book that has swearing in it. I like that. It gets your mind from thinking too much. It's, uh, fuck this shit. It's not very good yet, but it's going to be. Fuck this shit, colored by Ricky.

See, these are the things we should be selling for charity right here. We could, but we're not selling this one because it isn't done. If you finish it, can we sell it for charity? Who the fuck would want to buy that piece of shit? High bidder. High bidder out there will set her up. Not happening. Ricky will sign it.

He'll do all the... I'll fucking do a better one if it's gonna be for charity. That's just fucking around and put up in Moe's room. High bidder out there will set her up. Not happening. Reccy will sign it. He'll do all the time. I'll fucking do a better one if it's gonna be for charity. That's just fucking around to put up in Moe's room. I'll sell it for charity because there is cost in charity that we'll have to... Oh yeah, no, I know. Moe's starting to say this now. What?

Fuck this shit. It's funny. I love it. How old is he? Four now. They're just words. Yeah, I agree. There's nothing that really means the same as that. I agree. All right. Play a little bit. Send us out on a song. Ricky and Julian both love guys, love to get high. Julian loves men. Julian loves men. What are you doing, man?

All right, I'm leaving. Thanks for tuning in, everybody. Come back next week when everything's fucking gone to shit. This is a really shitty podcast. I disagree. Okay. We'll see what the comments are.