Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 14 - I'm a French-Mexican Superhero Disguised as a Hotdog

Episode Date: November 6, 2015

Ricky and Bubbles attempt to celebrate Halloween in November! Before they get arrested for trick-or-treating, the boys discuss $30 snuggles, space junk and the dangers of 'rocket load', and wrestling croco-dolphins. Episode 14 is brought to you by Liquormen’s Ol’ Dirty Canadian Whisky!

I'm a French, Mexican, superhero, disguised as a hot dog. I'm a French Mexican superhero disguised as a hot dog. Hey, miss, we're just about to shoot something here. What? It's me, Ricky. What the fuck are you wearing, man? Well, there was nothing left. This is all there was.

So I'm Caitlyn Jenner, I guess. Who? Caitlyn Jenner, you know. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's pretty good, man. You actually look pretty good as a woman. Ricky, are those fucking cameras rolling? Did you turn those on?

You said get everything ready. Where the fuck's Julia? You rolled so that we already started. Well, I don't know. They could just cut to now. No, I don't cut anything. I told you that. It's just once you hit roll, it goes.

What were you doing before I got here? I smoked a nice little joint of hash. Had a little strip of honey oil down inside of it. Feel good, bubs. Feel really good. And I got the fucking dicks to get a bunch of shit ready for us so we don't sound like idiots. Okay, but we should tell people what we're doing here.

Today's the Halloween. It's Halloween in November. Halloween episode, and Halloween was last fucking week. Except I wasn't around for Halloween because I got thrown in the drunk tank, which was total bullshit. You can't apparently piss in public anymore when you're downtown drinking at bars, or they think it's not cool. You never could, Ricky. Anyway, then I got in a fight in the drunk tank. I was in there for a few days, and I want to still have fucking Halloween.

I didn't even get to go fucking trick-or-treating. So we're having Halloween in fucking November, and we'll go trick-or-treating so we're having Halloween in fucking November and we'll go trick-or-treating tonight soon as we're done. Huh? We can't go fucking trick-or-treating. Why not? Because Halloween was last week and people aren't expecting this to come to the door. What are you anyway? I'm a French Mexican superhero but I'm in disguise as a hot dog.

Sneak attack. I'm a French Mexican superhero, but I'm in disguise as a hot dog. Sneak attack. Ricky, why would he disguise himself as a hot dog, though? That's just going to make him stand out. A hot dog's not really a... So for the people that are just listening to this, they can't see what's happening, but the people at swearingat.com that are watching this on the video, you can watch the video there. They can see what's going on with Ricky here. The best I could describe him, he's got on nice red gloves, a hot dog suit.

Superhero gloves. He's got on a Quebec flag. French cape. A Mexican hat and a hot dog suit. A sunalero. Look pretty good, Ricky. Oh, you look better. You're kind of stealing the fucking show, I guess.

But we can do, I mean, we can do the podcast here a week late. But we can't go trick-or-treating. We can't because now everybody has all kinds of fucking candy from trick-or-treating from last week. So you pick a house that has like four fucking kids in it. They're going to have all kinds of good shit. So you go to the door. What are they going to say? No.

They'd probably be scared of me. They'd definitely be scared of you. They're going to call the cops, Ricky, if you go up on the door fucking demanding candy. Dressed up as a hot dog a fucking week after Halloween. Well, then I'm going to put a dare out to the fucking cops to fucking try to come over and take my candy tonight. See what happens. You're going to threaten a dare out to the fucking cops to fucking try to come over and take my candy tonight. See what happens. You're going to threaten the police on the air, are you? I'm not going to threaten them.

Say, look, I'm fucking going trick-or-treating. I missed the last because you dicks threw me in jail for pissing in fucking public and then fucking kept me in the next couple days for a little tiny fight with four guys. Fuck off. Anyway, that's all I'm going to say about that. Fucking cops sometimes, they just, they try to take the fun out of it. And I mean, I can't miss a fucking Halloween because that's what my dad always said. We, our family, I guess, invented Halloween.

Some of our old fucking relatives. Who's to say that, Ray? Yeah, remember I didn't want to go trick-or-treating once I got a little bit older because it wasn't fucking cool. I'm like, Dad, I'm not fucking going. He said, oh, you're fucking going. I said, no, I didn't want to go trick-or-treating once I got a little bit older because it wasn't fucking cool. I'm like, Dad, I'm not fucking going. He said, oh, you're fucking going. I said, no, I'm not going. He said, well, you have to because, I don't know if you knew this, Ricky, but your great-great-grandfather, grandmother, holy fuck, it's raining horse cocks out there in the wind.

Yeah, less of the wind, Jesus. He said my great-grandfather, great-great-great, or four greats, mother, father, one of them, decided to come up with the idea for Halloween to make the kids happier and scare them a little bit. Your great, great, great, grand, whatever. His name was Horsecock. It could have been.

I don't know. I just said it was Raymond Horsecock. I didn't say his name was Raymond. Oh, I thought his name was Raymond Horsecock. Oh, Raymond. That would be a weird fucking coincidence. Coincidence. Coincidence. You know that word. that would be a weird fucking coincidence coincidence coincidence you know that word

so isn't that cool so what's your great grandfather's name Raymond Horscock or no let's just go with that good old Raymond fucking came up with this whole idea so from that point on I never miss a Halloween so it's Halloween November but it's still fucking Halloween to me. And Raymond,

if you're listening to this, wherever the fuck you are, cheers to you, my friend. Great fucking idea you have. So, Ricky, Ray told you your great-grandfather, great-great-grandfather invented Halloween. Could have been grandmother. I guess it was

sad times back then. Kids needed a boost. So he thought, hey, if all the kids fucking dress up, then no one knows who the kids actually are. They can just be crazy and have fun. No one knows who was the crazy people. He scares them a little bit. And then candy is like a celebration.

All kids love candy. He came up with that, did he? What year did Ray say that all took place in? It would have to have been at least 100 years ago, for sure. Well, Halloween's been around longer than that, I believe. Okay, what was more than that, then? Why are you asking questions if you already know the fucking

answers to them? When did Halloween start there, smarty-ass? I don't know, Ricky. I'm just saying. I think it was more than 100 years ago. These gloves are a fucking poor design. They keep slipping down. If I was a real superhero, I'd want gloves that stuck right up there by the arm link. Well, Ricky, if you were a real superhero, you wouldn't have little foam fucking nylon gloves.

You'd have superhero, you know, leather punching gloves. I have spikes sticking out of them, too, just to really fuck people over. What would your superhero name be if this was you? What are you, a Mexican-French superhero? Yeah. Maxi-French. So what was that? Maxi-French, the guy with the fucking spiky gloves that fucks you over.

And I can fly. I can fly. So your superhero name is maxi French yeah maxi French spiky spiky maxi French hmm and I'm ready to fuck well not fuck but you know fuck people over spiky maxi French you'd be terrified like I wouldn't you know no no if you're a superhero right now what would you be called I Spiky maxi French. You'd be terrified of that guy, wouldn't you? No. No, I wouldn't. If you were a superhero right now, what would you be called? I wouldn't be a superhero dressed like this.

Supermodel, maybe. Not a superhero, though. I think I look pretty good as a lady. You better not fucking let Randy see you looking like that. I can say that out loud. Why? What would happen? I don't know, but Randy, I don't know.

He's got a little weird thing with men and men dressed up as women and women that look like men. I don't know. Actually, we should bring him over just to see what he does fucking think. No, we're not bringing Randy over while I'm dressed like this. I'll be terrified. He's a fucking asshole. He fucking was hosting when you weren't here,

and he was a dick, and he ruined the whole thing. It sucked. I'm glad he's not here. Where is Julian, by the way? He was supposed to be here. I thought he went to fucking get you. He didn't come to get me. I was down at the Legion.

For fuck's sake. So can we do this without him? I think we already are. I thought the rules said there had to be three people. What rules? I don't know. Maybe I dreamt that. Who would have made up the fucking rules? I run the rules said there had to be three people. What rules? I don't know. Maybe I dreamt that. Who would have made up the fucking rules?

I run the show here. This is my thing. So what are we going to talk about on this fine, rainy, shitty Halloween? The fucking rain better stop before trick-or-treating. We're not going trick-or-treating. I'm going to get about six more beer into me, a couple more joints, and we're fucking going trick-or-treating. And I dare anyone to deny me fucking candy tonight. This is my fucking Halloween.

So you're robbing people, basically, is what you're saying. No, I'm looking for donations of candy. If you don't want to donate, I'll fucking throw eggs at your house or I'll put shoe polish over your fucking windshield. Try getting that off. It's a pain in the cock. Trust me.

So you're going to vandalize people's houses unless they give you candy a week after Halloween. It's not vandalizing because you can fucking fix it. Vandalize is when you put a hole in their house or break their window. Then it costs money. It doesn't cost money to take an egg off or fucking remove shoe polish. It just sucks. Absolutely does cost money. Cleaning supplies.

Time. If they get down to that fucking point, I'll say, hey, you know what, I'll bring you some fucking cleaning supplies, but you're getting nagged unless you give me a chocolate bar or a bag of chips. Maybe a can of pop. Maybe a beer. They should hand out beer to older kids like me. They could check my fucking ID at least.

Or older kids like you should just not trick-or-treat, maybe. If it wasn't for my family starting the whole fucking thing, then maybe I wouldn't, because I am getting pretty old for trick-or-treating, but... It's like if your family started Christmas, you're just not going to celebrate anymore? No. Exactly.

Ricky. Oh, my God. Your great-great-grandfather did not fucking invent Halloween, just so you know. You can't prove it. Well, you can't prove that he did, other than fucking Ray telling you that. Ray doesn't lie. Yeah, I know. Ray doesn't lie. Ricky, he spends fucking most of his life in a wheelchair.

And his legs work. They don't work as good as a lot of people's, though, do they? And that's why he gets fucking money from the government for that shit. His legs are perfectly fine, Ricky. They were when he was younger, yeah. Yeah, before he started. He's been in the fucking chair so long, he's got atrophy in his legs. They don't work now because of that, but self-inflicted.

Sometimes they work a little bit, but it's like catching a cold. I've seen him when he's walking a little bit and he's just trying to get along and he just hits the fucking floor. The legs are done again. Yeah, you know when that happens? When he thinks somebody's fucking videotaping him to send to the fucking workers' comp.

That's when he falls down. Well, he's never lied to me. The only time Ray hits the dirt is when he thinks somebody's doing surveillance on him. I feel pretty good. You got any more beers? Get me one, Ricky. Get me a beer. Get me one, Ricky. Get me a beer. Can't really show the names of these fucking things because they haven't really paid the money for it. Oh, sorry, Bubby.

There you go. Decent. Who are we fucking being looked after this week? Is it Lickerman's? I know they always look after us. Lickerman's, old dirty. Dirty old fucking whiskey. Old dirty Canadian whiskey, and you know what I heard? They're...

Fuck. What? I just opened that beer, and this one's not even gone yet. That's all right. Jesus, Ricky, I think your fridge is turned off. That's as warm as piss. No, it's not very cold, is it? Fuck.

Well, cheers. What were we talking about? I blocked out for a second there. Jesus, I did too. Well, we got shit to talk about. Yeah, I got a few things to talk about here. Okay. What were we talking?

I just read this story about the Ubers teaming up for National Cat Day. Ubers, you can rent an Uber and they come over with a whole carload of kitties. And you can play with them. Here's National Cat Day. Didn't that already happen? Yeah, but this, I mean, this happened on National Cat Day. This is what they were doing. Who's Uber?

Uber is a... He's a basketball player, isn't he? Probably. There's probably one called Uber. But that's not what i'm talking about long or uber tall uh so uber this uber dude is he's what he's selling kittens no he's not a dude ricky uber's like a it's like a taxi kind of service that you can call you use your phone okay you can see where the cars are on the GP. I don't know how the fuck it works. I just know it's like a car

service, but on cat day, you can call them up, right, and say, hello there. I'm over at this address. Please send over the kitty mobile. And they would show up in a car, and they'd have a whole fucking carload of kitties, and you could play with them for...

What the fuck are you talking about? This is a real is a real story yes that's what uber did it on national cat day in a whole bunch of cities so you just call them up and say hey i want to see some fucking cats or you're you're getting the cats no they had a car full of cats yeah in all the cities and they would drive around and bring you the kitties and you could play with them like i would have fuck i wish i had known that was going on a 30 snuggle fee wow yeah that's what they were charging 30 bucks i mean i wouldn't have paid it i would have just called them up 30 bucks you could go down a fucking hooker alley and snuggle with a hooker for 30 bucks. Probably a lot better for you. A lot more fun. Snuggle with a hooker?

Well, it just says it's a $30 snuggle fee. So you're just going to snuggle with some cats? Hey, send down the kittens. I need to fucking snuggle with kittens. That's a little weird if you ask me. But snuggle them with a hooker down the hooker alley? Well, men are supposed to snuggle with women, not with fucking kittens. Who says?

What does snuggle mean? Maybe I'm not understanding. You know, snuggle like whole, you know, like spoon, basically. Hugging and spooning. I know, but if I'm spooning with, like, Lucy or somebody, then things start to get a little exciting. No, but if you ever paid $30 to snuggle with a hawker behind a dumpster... Well, not to snuggle with them, no. To do what with them?

You know, to feel better about yourself. By banging a $30 hawker? Well, it's either go downtown, spend $100, try to meet a girl, buy her fucking drinks, you're up to $200, go home with nothing, or $30, $100, try to meet a girl, buy her fucking drinks, you're up to $200. Go home with nothing or $30, $40. Don't even need to go downtown. You just go there. Just when you're really lonely or whatever, right?

It's good. I didn't know you were so frequent to the hooker. I've never done it, but I know lots of people that have. A lot of dudes in jail talk about it. They say it's fucking fantastic. I'm usually with Lucy, so I mean, Lucy's not cool with me getting mouth hugs or whatever from hookers.

Mouth hugs? Or handies or whatever you wanna fucking go for. What's a mouth hug? When they put a part of you in their mouth. Hug it. Like a bird hug. You know what a mouth hug is. A mouthy bird hug.

Jesus, you know. Anyway, I think that's a little fucked up. I mean, I love kittens and cats. I think they're cute, and I don't want to fucking get you pissed off, but I think paying 30 bucks to snuggle with cats, trying to, I don't know, as long as it's not a sex thing,

then I guess it's cool. Ricky, who said anything about it being a sex thing? Normally when you snuggle with someone, bubs, that's what you're thinking about. Not, maybe if you're snuggling hookers, Ricky. Not if you're snuggling kitties, you're not thinking about. Okay, well, that was my point, that I hope these people aren't calling these fucking kittens to come down because they have some weird little sex thing for poor little kittens. It's fucked.

Jesus, Murphy. If that's the case, this Uber dude better stop delivering fucking kittens. He's not a dude. Uber's not a guy. That's a cool name. What's going on, Uber? Okay, here's another story. There's a fucking Uber on Sesame Street.

Mr. Uber. No, that was Mr. Hooper. Big Birdie's friend. Oh, Hooper, that's right. Mr. Hooper, not Mr. Hooper. Yeah, fuck, that's right. All right, well, that was a fun little topic, I guess. Oh.

What are we dealing with now? Unidentified space junk, Ricky. Did you read this one? Where the fuck are we? There's an unidentified piece of space junk that scientists have labeled WTF because they don't know what the fuck it is. And it's going to hit the Earth. So it's actually called what the fuck? Well, that's WTF is what don't know what the fuck it is. And it's going to hit the Earth. So it's actually called what the fuck? Well, that's WTF

is what they labeled it. Just because they don't know what the fuck it is. What do you mean by space junk? So aliens are throwing their fucking garbage into our Earth now? Well, they don't know 100%. It could be. It looks they said it's man-made or somebody made it. Oh, those fucking bastards.

I'm telling you right now, if the aliens are throwing their fucking junk down here, we should start throwing all of our garbage up there, shoot it off in a big missile and say, fuck you. Right back at you, you cocksuckers. Ricky, do you know the fucking logistics of loading up a rocket with your garbage and firing it at aliens

to say fuck you? Well, they're doing it to say, fuck you. Well, they're doing it to us, so it can't be that fucking expensive. It's not. They think it's a piece of what they think it could be because of the shape of it. It could be a piece of space junk, you know, 50 years old that took a big orbit and it's just coming back. And you know what they think it could be? Part of the fucking Saturn V rocket.

Hold on a second. So you're talking about now that man or man, whatever you want to call us, fucking launched a big missile rocket up to the moon, and that's what it could be from, and they left. So we're littering in space now? Oh, we litter like crazy in space, Ricky. What the fuck is wrong with people?

You're fucking littering on Earth's not enough? Now you've got to litter in our fucking space? Space is full of junk, Ricky. So these fucking idiots. Well, the rocket went up back in the, you know, 60s or 70s. Yeah. Right? Yeah.

And then, you know, it's a multi-stage rocket, so this stage breaks off after they're in space so they can go further. Yeah. Right? Yeah. And then it, you know, it's a multi-stage rocket, so this stage breaks off after they're in space so they can go further. Right. So the stage that broke off just floated away. I thought it floats back to Earth and have a parachute for it, and then they go out. Well, the first stage does, but then there's another stage that jettisons once

they're in space, so it just floats around, apparently. See? That's a perfect example of people that think they're smart as fuck, but they're actually dumb as fuck. I know how to build a rocket. One little tiny fuck-up. Some piece of it's going to come off. It's going to float around in fucking space for 50 or 53 years,

and then it's just going to say, you know what? Fucking bored with this, and I'm going to go crash into Earth and kill a bunch of fucking people or burn the forest down. Good plan, guys. Fucking idiots. You're going to design a rocket. You might want to think about that one. Fucking dummies.

But you know what he was thinking? By the time this fucking piece of junk comes back to Earth, I'll be dead. Who gives a fuck? Probably didn't have kids either. Selfish little cocksucker. That's what you think the rocket scientist who developed that whole, you know, put his whole life into developing this rocket?

You think that's what you're thinking? Oh, yeah, this piece is going to come off, come back to Earth in 50 years. Don't give a fuck. No, you know what it was? People pressuring him, saying, is the rocket ready? Because we've got to fucking show off before the Russians do it. That's what it's all about, showing off. And the guy's like, you know what?

It's ready, but there's this one. Ah! Will it get the fucking guys to the moon and back home? Yes, but, ah! That's all I needed to know. That's what happened. That's the way you think that conversation went down. So he knew what was going to happen, but he wasn't allowed to say it,

and he obviously didn't give a fuck and took it to his grave. And where is he right now? He doesn't give a fuck. A piece of space junk's about to destroy Earth. But they're saying it's coming down like next week in the Indian Ocean. So I was thinking, looking up how far away that is,

it would be kind of cool if we went over and tried to get it. You know what that fucking thing would be worth, Ricky? What if it hit us? Would it not fuck us over? Those rockets are pretty big from what I remember. Oh, yeah, you'd have to keep an eye out for it.

And if it was coming on you, you'd have to... Not coming on you, but, you know, if it was coming down on you, you'd have to be ready to dart it away. It better not be coming on you. Something that big. Jesus, you'd probably drown before you get killed. But... If what happened?

I thought you said something about coming on you or coming out. I don't know. We got all fucked up there. But coming on you would be a mess. Coming at you, at least it'd be over pretty quick. But we're not You mean if a big giant rocket was coming on you?

Something that big, yeah, I would. Jesus. It'd be like getting hit with a lake. A lake of what? I guess rocket load. But we can't go to the Indianapolis Ocean? What did you call it? The Indian Ocean.

The Indian Ocean, Rick. We can't go there, Bob. You need a big ship to carry something like that back, which we can't afford. I guess it would be kind of fucked. Or a helicopter sucker, which are pretty expensive, too. Yes. And what would you do with it once you had it? Just put it in your shed?

No, I'd take it to the strap yard. Can you imagine you rolled down to fucking shitties with a fucking piece of the Saturn V? Hey, shitty, look at this. What's that worth? You'd get fucking, you'd get good money for that. All right, you know what? I'm in. Fuck it.

Hopefully we don't get killed and get burnt on. Well, we'll see. I'll look into it to see how hard it would be to get to the Indian Ocean it's not gonna be cheap because I think that place is pretty far away I've never heard of it so it's not anywhere close to here oh yeah I did just read this one about the British guy that was taking the pictures in the cave sorry there was a British guy and he was in a cave you know in a in a boat doing some cave exploring and he went like this and took a selfie hey there yeah and then you know whatever he went

home back to scotland or ireland wherever the fuck he's from yeah and he's going through his pictures and in the pictures he sees a fucking sea creature that's unidentified in the water as soon as you said sc, I fucking knew it. I don't know what it is with the Scotland people, but they're always thinking they're seeing these weird fucking creatures. Well, no, I don't even know if he was from Scotland, Ricky. Did he just wade? Yeah, back home in Scotland he was.

Okay. You know what? I used to believe in the lostness monster. Lostness? The lostness monster. Lostness? The lostness monster. And my dad was like, there's no such thing, Ricky, think about. Because I was scared shitless to go in any fucking water to swim. He said if there was a fucking lostness monster, people would fucking have seen it.

There would be evidence. They would have caught one. There would be one dead. Like, there's no fucking sea creature that we couldn't have found yet. How? Ricky, what are you talking about? 90% of the fucking oceans have never been explored. They're so deep and, you know.

Okay. Maybe. Maybe there's some shit out there that we don't know about. But it's not fucking something in a cave. Well, this thing, it looks like a, it said it looked like a half dolphin, half crocodile. And it had crazy flippers and a big, long, you know, bitey parrot. I guess that's sort of possible. If it's, you know, two creatures that decide to bang each other and they come out half and half.

A zonkey. I guess it's possible, but... A zonkey? Half zzzz. What starts with a Z? It's half donkey and half zzzz. What starts with a Z? It's half donkey and half zzzz. Bumblebee? Zebra.

Zebra. Half donkey, half zebra. Zunky. So it could be half alligator, half crocodile. Or no, you said half dolphin, half... I don't remember now. Fuck. half dolphin, half... I don't remember now. Fuck. Half dolphin, half crocodile.

Okay, well, if that's the case, this idiot, because I don't believe a fucking word he's saying, should go back to the cave and fucking find this thing. Instead of going home, looking at your pictures and painting a little shadow in the background, saying, eh, what the fuck is that thing? Well, I guess if they said it looked like an alligator dolphin, it must have been a pretty good

paint job. He wouldn't have used paint, right? He like... Well, you know what? Then fuck it. If we can't find the rocket in the ocean, we're gonna go find this fucking creature and we're gonna sell it or make money off it somehow.

I'd like to find this fucking thing and wrestle it it's probably not that violent because dolphins aren't very violent so half of it at least would be friendly now you mix that friendliness with a fucking cocksucker of a crocodile alligator then i don't know it could be a nasty fucking thing to fuck with i don't know why would you want to wrestle the fucking thing to begin with? Because then you're famous. Holy fuck, you're the guy that wrestled the fucking Crocodolphin. Yep, that's right.

I might even wear my fucking hot dog suit when I'm doing it too, and my superhero gloves. The Crocodolphin. Yep. Be famous, buddy. That's how you think you're going to get famous. You're going to wear a hot dog suit and wrestle a crocodile.

Never know. Suppose that you're a zoo and things aren't going so good for you right now. People aren't coming to see shit anymore because all the tigers and elephants are old and they're dying. People are pissed off because they're caged up anyway. Then all of a sudden you've got a fucking crocodile. I guarantee you people from all over the fucking world are coming to see that cocksucker. I know I would.

But why do you want to fight it? Just to see what its capabilities are. Why would you? Oh, my God, Ricky. Well, I mean, we know what bears can do. You're not going to fucking fight one of those. We know what a normal alligator or crocodile could do, but mixed with a dolphin might make it friendlier

and not really so terrifying. Might be another good TV show. Come on and try to wrestle it for money. The guy that fucking survives gets all the money. So that would be the whole TV show? Just different people come on and try to wrestle the crocodile? Yeah, you could call it So You Think You're Tough. Especially if it was a good fucking scrapper.

Man, whatever. Fuck people over. That would be awesome. I'd watch the shit out of that show. What's it called? So You Think You're Fucking Tough? Yeah. Actually, watch the shit out of that show. What's it called so you think you're fucking tough? Yeah. Actually, it should be a bunch of animals.

You could have the crocodile, but also, you know, maybe smaller cats, semi-declod, like a fucking cheetah. What if you could combine more animals, right? Get into super animals. What would you make? See? Now you're onto something. That's what it takes is a good buzz on, and all of a sudden you get a million dollar idea like that.

That's a good question. So you think you're fucking tough, episode one. People from around the country try to fight a crocodile. That's a good start. But we should start mixing more animals. Well, what would you have in the next one? Well, you know, my love for swans. We've talked about that before.

A swan-a-goo. What's the a-goo part? Kangaroo, swan. Oh, a swan-a-goo hops around. That's a good one. Yeah. Because he'd have that 360 nap, but he could also get like a motherfucker. That's a good one, Bob.

Yeah. That'd be good on the show. Swan-a-, Bob. Yeah. That'd be good on the show. Swanagoo? Yeah. Yeah, you couldn't really... I don't know. You don't really want to mix a tiger with anything because it's going to be fucking tough.

Unless you mix it with something that's a real pussy. Unless you mix it with a butterfly. Yeah. What would that be called? Butter tiger. Butter tiger. Yeah, it doesn't even sound fucking vicious at all. All right, I'd fuck with a butter tiger, I guess.

What would he look like, though? That's the thing. If it was the same size as a tiger, but it had fucking colorful wings, I would not want to fuck with it, because you'd go at it, and it could fly right over your head and come at you from beyond. What if it was only this big, and it had a little tiny tiger head on a butterfly? See, that's more like it. With a little tiny tiger tail. Then all you have to do is try to punch it out of the air.

But you could be quick. And you might have ferocious teeth. He could just come down and bite you worse than any fucking mosquito. And take off again, little fucker. You know what? Fuck the tiger. Butter. What else? I don't know, man.

I'm feeling pretty fucked. That honey oil really came aboard me. And then, you know, he mixed that with a cup of beer. I ate one of those cookies that you gave me

and I was fucked. That thing really came aboard me. Oh, man. We didn't really talk about anything. We talked about all kinds of stuff. Did we?

Are we wrapping it up? I don't know. The tractor being out. We had all kinds of good shit here. We didn't even get to talk about the fucking nutscapes. Fuck! Well, what are they? I guess we could talk about them next week.

What, nutscapes? Yeah. It's pretty fucked. I didn't know anything about this until I was reading about it, but I really liked the whole idea. I guess we'll talk about Nutscapes next week, because right now it's time to go trick-or-treating.

Three more beer, shotgun, two more joints. Let's go, buddy. Trick-or-treating time. Are we really doing this? Fucking right we are. Alright. My only problem is, fuck, gotta've got to do a boner test. No, I'm going to be fine. Ricky, why would you get a boner?

Oh, in case you see some... For a little trick-or-treat. Might be some hot moms. You got an extra trick-or-treat bag for me, buddy? Thanks for listening. Go to swearingat.com to watch it. Let's go QE.