Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 142 - Something Ate A Baby Horse And It’s No Longer Around

Episode Date: May 7, 2018

The Boys answer some of the f#*ked questions you sent to [e-mail]. Did YOUR question make the podcast this week? Also: Julian gives advice on how to deal with a ghost, and Ricky shows off his new gift from Bubbles - a bag scrubber! Episode 142 is brought to you by the official Trailer Park Boys Store, SwearNet.com (the only place to watch the video of this podcash), Liquormen's Ol' Dirty Canadian Whisky, and the Boys' own Freedom 35 lager!

Welcome to the Trailer Perk Boys podcast, brought to you in perkboysswearingit.com, the only place where you can see the video version of this podcast. Nice one. And go to trailerperkboysmerch.com and check out some merch, buy some stuff, please. They sponsor us too. What about the beer and the liquor? I was just getting to that, Richard. Also sponsored by Freedom 35, Drink the Dream, and Lickerman's all-dirty Canadian whiskey.

And a new beer is born. Try my new Rickey's Catch-23 malt liquor. It's stronger than you are. Bubbles, what the fuck are these things? Like, I hate them, but I can't stop fucking eating them because my brain's like, these are a chip. Look, that's a chip. Then you eat it, and it's like, then my brain's like, this doesn't taste just like a chip. They're chips.

They're just different types of chips. They're vegetable chips. That ain't a potato. They're vegetable chips. A potato is a vegetable. Why do you want to fuck with it? Well, that's like a sweet potato. That's probably like a...

I don't know what that would be. What's red? That would be like a beet. That looks like a pig ear. It's not a fucking pig ear. Damn, that looks like one. But I can't stop eating the fucking things. What does that mean? It means they're delicious, salty, loveliness.

And they're healthy for you. We can't say what the fuck they are, because they didn't pay us. I don't know even what they're called. They're just vegetable chips. Oh, my fuck, they're awful. But they're good. You're fucked, Ricky.

Okay, boys. Just so we're all aware. Fuck. I am on the lecker. Fuck. Ricky, what are you doing? Ricky, what are you doing? Ricky, what are you doing? This was blocked there.

Can people hear me now? Ricky, that thing's not even plugged in, just so you're aware. Why would you do that? Fuck off! Here we go. Jesus! Why would you fucking do that? Because it was not listening to me.

Why couldn't you just get up and just grab it with two hands and level it out? I never thought of that at the time. Jesus. No, you seriously fuck off. And now he's talking to him. Yeah, go ahead. Try it again. He can't even get up.

You think he hears you? It's a coat rack. I got to calm down. I got to do a bit of coloring. Anyway, what the fuck were we talking about? We're starting the podcast. Maybe we should start it off the fucking right way instead of wrestling around fucking shit.

Go ahead then. All right, what's up, fuckers? This is official Trailer Park Boys podcast coming at you. This is episode 152, and this is May what? It's 142. Oh, is it? Oh, man, I fucked that one up. 142, are you sure?

142, Bob. It's May the fucking 4th. May the 4th. May the 4th be with you. That was a good one, Bob. Really good. That was quick. Oh, that's in fact, I didn't make that up.

That's a thing. May the 4th is like Star Wars Day. No, it isn't, is it? Yes, it is. May the 4th. May the 4th is Star Wars Day. May the 4th be with you. You've never heard that? No, it isn't, is it? Yes, it is. May the 4th. May the 4th is Star Wars Day. May the 4th be with you. You've never heard that? No, man.

Are you shitting me right now? No, it's Star Wars Day. It's a big day for the wars and the stars. It's a big day. R2-D2 and C-3PO get fucking right out of here on this day. May the 4th be with you. Are you fucking kidding me? Oh, it's a big thing.

How long has this been a day? It's been a while. Since 1977. No, it hasn't been that long. I'm going to check it out, man. When did this fucking start? Ah, fuck. All right. I think I've calmed down a little bit.

Okay, good. I'm still not 100% done with this thing it's gonna get fucking hurt 1979 I was close that's when May the 4th

we went there that's the day Margaret Thatcher took office as Prime Minister of the UK and she declared May the 4th

I don't think she declared it man it's just a coincidence I don't know who fucking bringing her up for that it's a weird one it's just this Wikipedia, man.

I'm just giving you some fucking shit. Thanks for the bag scrubber, by the way, bubs. What? That's not a bag scrubber. What is it? Ricky, I bought you that to shine up your shoes. Have you been scrubbing your bag with that? Ricky, it's...

You tear your sack right off. Those are hard bristles. Why did you think I bought you a bag scrubber? That's what it looked like to me. So you just get this as a present, and you're like, oh, and you get right in the shower with a wooden thing and start scrubbing your bag. Well, you want to make sure everything's good

and tidy down there, and it's hard to see that area. Unless you have a trick mirror, which I don't have in the shower. A trick mirror? A trick mirror. That's a bag scrubber, is it? No, it's not. It was for Shine and his new black shoes I bought. I thought that's why it had such a long area and a long handle, so you could get... You get right down there, right? Very little work.

Okay, you might as well show everybody how you do it. What are you getting, barnacles growing on there like that? You go from the front, do you? It's good. Do you ever go from the rear? I don't know what's better. Because you don't want to push stuff forward. I'm just seeing what the bristles are like.

That would fucking hurt, man. Are you kidding me? I'm telling you, it feels great. Just put it in your bag with that thing? It feels fucking fantastic. Ricky, I bought that so you could sign up the new black shoes that I bought you. I didn't know that, and I will have to get another one. Well, you can't shine your shoes with it now.

It's got bag dust on it. What is bag dust? Bag fragments. Like bag dandruff? I'll have to get another one, I guess. I guess it would be good for shoes. It's a big brush for shoes though, isn't it? It's a big brush for your bag too. If you want to get technical.

Yeah, no, it would be good for shoes too, I guess. Well, that's what it's made for, so yes, it would be good for that. Anyway, thank you for the many uses of brush. How many times have you scrubbed your unit with that? Just twice. At least you know how clean it is. He's exfoliated his scrotum. Now I can move on with my life.

It's fantastic. Your eyes are complete. Do you even know what exfoliate means? Not a fucking clue. I could probably figure it out though. Oh, fuck, I'd love you to dissect that word. I've been figuring words out lately. Yeah, I bet. Yeah, you just gotta break them apart.

Like, X would mean no longer existing. Okay. Foal is like a... Foal. That's a baby horse. So the baby horse is no more. Eight. Exfoliate.

Okay. So something ate a baby horse and it's no longer around. Is that right? Yeah, that's what it means. Boom! Good job, Ricky. That's what exfoliating is. Something ate a baby horse and it's no longer around.

I'm telling you, boys, this brain is getting better with age. Just like fine liquor. Yes, liquor does age and tastes better. So does your mama. Get it? She tastes better? So, Bob's, I'm looking at this little fucking story. You know what?

I know the person that obviously loves cats more than you do. Check this shit out, man. This shit's going down in South Korea. What is it? Fuck off and open. Oh, fuck. Check that out, man. What?

It's a little cat house. Made out of what? A hoodie from a jacket. Yeah. Who's been doing that for fucking 25 years? And look, there's water and food. Who's been doing that for 25 25 years? And look, there's water and food. Who's been doing that for 25 years? Stole that off me.

No, they didn't. That's in South Korea, man. They didn't fucking steal that from you. Who's been making fucking cat houses out of hoods for 25 fucking years? Babble's ass. I want a cheers to the Koreas. I don't recall that, man. Well done.

On what? 2,000 of these. They're getting along, aren't they? In one week, they fucking threw out what the fuck is that? It's a cat house

made out of a hood from a hoodie and I've been doing that for 25 years. You take two fucking coat hangers, bend them in a thing, put the hood over it,

set it on the thing, put out some thing, cat house. You know what the difference is? You didn't put any pictures of it online. That's right. And you only... There was no online when I started doing that. There wasn't a line.

You can't prove anything. Three? There's about 2,000 in one week. I've built hundreds of those. Hundreds. None of them look that good. I don't remember. I don't... I've first time seeing one of these, man. Hundreds. How did I not fucking notice you built something? Yeah, you think and they're all over the down by the playground

You think he would have been bragging about it a little more think man. No because I don't brag about my kitty achievements I just do it. I don't look for the glory. No, you're fucked Get fucked by the Koreans. Well, these people are probably never been the fuck by a Korean Ricky Get fucked by the Koreans. Well, these people are probably making... I've never been fucked by a Korean. Ricky? It's the north or the south that makes the really good barbecue. What? Korean barbecue. It's the north or the south that masters that shit.

It's definitely not the north. They do not partake in barbecue festivities. They're barely alive. Anyway, I think it's fucking... All rotten potatoes. I think it's awesome that they're fucking getting along again. Yeah, someday they will have a barbecue, man. North Korea.

Well, Kim Jong-un, he walked down into the South. That's the first time a North Korean dictator has ever set foot in South Korea. That's a good start, man. That's a good start. Maybe if they just get him on the lecker.

They're like hey try this. Well he's fucking. That's lecker. He's friends with fucking Rodman man. We hung out with him for a little while. Maybe there's hope for us and Randy and us and Cyrus. We should go meet this guy and fucking party it up. I bet you if we hung out with Kim Jong-un. There'd be trailer parks all over North America North North Korea, right? If we did that? Well, he likes Dennis Rodman and we have hung out with Dennis Rodman, so I believe that we could all get along. How do you get a hold of this guy? We have a mutually common, so to speak. Yeah. Boys, I'm fucking serious.

If we met that guy, it could be a great fucking opportunity for us. For what? Making some cash. How? it could be a great fucking opportunity for us. For what? Making some cash. How? He's got a fucking country that's fucked. We get in there, we change things up, throw some trailer parks, open some restaurants, get some barbecues going. I bet we could win the Nortel Peace Prize.

We would make a lot of money. They're fucked up there, man. We could win the what? The Nortel Peace Prize. Bring peace everywhere. Ricky Nortel's a fucking defunct cell phone company, isn't it? I guess they sponsored it or something. I don't fucking know. Unbelievable.

You got $10 billion, is it? Boys, I'm right on that lecker. $10 billion? Right on the lecker I am. You've been drinking a lot lately, Buffs. Which I'm all for, believe me. You just got to make sure you keep that pace. You don't fucking try to go faster than the pace.

You're starting to neglect things. Like what? Cats. I am not a neglecter. I had to feed them the other day. Bullshit, you had to feed them. You were passed out, or I could have dreamt that, but I'm pretty sure it happened. Ricky, I did not pass out and you had to feed my kitties.

That did not happen. You didn't get your mail for a day. I do have to rock a piss, so holy fuck do I have to piss. Just piss right there, man. I'm not pissing on the floor, Ricky. I've done it before. Okay, so if we talked about anything? Making money.

And guess what? If we did happen to make, you know, 10 million bucks each, you know what I'm buying? What? That thing fucking can... It's a robot that does your signature, man. What the... 365,000 bucks for that.

Why in the fuck would you possibly need that? Just to have it, man. You'd waste 365 grand on a fucking robot. If I had 10 million, I would buy one of these things. Why? Just to, you know, take out and... When do you even sign things? I'd start, well, if you had 10 million bucks,

you'd be signing a lot of fucking documents, but believe me. You're fucked. Hey, I don't know what I was going to ask you. Why? Remember when you asked all those fuckheads if they had any ideas or what they thought of the fucking podcast? Yes. Did you ever check into that?

No, I didn't. I forgot I did that. A few weeks ago, a few weeks ago, I told people to email us at CoreyRandyTraverson at gmail.com. I told them not to because it was stupid. CoreyRandyTraverson at gmail.com. I told them not to because it was stupid. Corey Randy Traverson. I bet not one fucking person emailed us. Well, because people should be able to give us ideas,

what they want to hear, what they want to see. You know what? Nobody gives a fuck. I bet nobody emailed us. You just wait. I don't even think anybody watches this fucking piece of shit. Corey Randy Traverson, at? Oh, you're going to get some doozies, man.

Gmail. What would you do? There's going to be people like, let's get some tits out with some ladies. Let's see if you guys fucking do this or do that. 49 fucking emails. Shut the fucking fuck up. 49 emails. Okay, let's see what people have to say. So this is going to turn into a pain in the fucking fuck up. 49 emails. Okay, let's see what people have to say.

So this is going to turn into a pain in the fucking ass. The first one that came in was on April 13th. Look at that. That was a long time ago. Matt Schiller. Here's what he said. Does it have a picture? Hi, my name is Matt Schiller

from the Positively Paranormal team in Liberty, North Carolina. I was wondering if you guys could talk about some paranormal experiences you may or may not have. And do you believe in ghosts as you do the Sam's Quamps? I believe in them. I've seen them. And what would you or wouldn't do if you woke up in your shed

and there was a ghost hovering over you? I think that would be funny and interesting to hear about from all your viewers and listeners. Also, when are you guys coming to North Carolina, USA? There's plenty of marijuana and alcohol and girls and buff guys for Julian here. That doesn't say that. Go fuck yourself. He knows what you're into. And he's just trying to be accommodating.

That's the kind of shit I was talking about. He wants to know if we've had any paranormal experiences. I've seen a couple ghosties. Ricky. And you know what? If a fucking ghost came into my car while I was sleeping and started hovering over me, I'd be like, wow, what's up, man? I'd be like totally relaxed, totally cool.

I wouldn't fucking freak me out. What's he gonna do? Why would it freak you out? The thing is with ghosts, you don't understand this. You tell a ghost to fuck off, it'll most likely fuck off. Yeah, and it's air. You gotta get mad with them. It's just a big bag of air. It's not really a big bag of air, Rick.

You guys are so fucked. Matt, I hate to tell you this, Matt Schiller, but you are one delusional fuck. Why? Because ghosts don't exist. Yes, they do. I've seen them. Ricky, you were on mushrooms, most likely, or acid. Or both.

Or both. A mirror smashed my fucking trailer one night, and it was really weird. Yeah, a mirror smashed. Listen, you fucking show me one fucking piece of evidence that there's ghosts, and I'll fucking eat my own poop. There's fucking pictures and videos all over the interwebs. Yeah, man, you gotta search that shit.

Ricky. Yes? They don't exist. They do. They do. You gotta reinvent yourself. They do not. It's bullshit.

With all these shows on TV, oh my fuck, did you hear that noise down the hall? Holy fuck, there's a ghost. Go fuck yourself. I believe. I don't know, man. They could, there could be some ghosts. I believe, I believe. There's no such thing as fucking ghosts. All right, if there's any ghosts fucking listening to us right now,

scare the fuck out of Bubbles. Yeah, do it, okay? Do it, bring him up. Hey, if there's any spirits floating around in the ether, fucking do something to me. You should be careful. Exorcist the shit, break that up. Bullshit.

They can't shoot you, but they can drop heavy items on you. Okay, ghost that of him. Bullshit. They can't shoot you, but they can drop heavy items on you. Okay, ghost. Do something. Hit me with something. Jolt me with lightning. Jesus Christ. That was chipper. That was chipper.

That was not a ghost. I don't know, man. That was bullshit. Sorry, Matt. I don't want to burst your bubble, but you're fucked in the head, bud. Completely fucked in the head. I think this is a bad idea. Now you're telling people to fuck off,

and Jesus Christ. Okay, just wait. We got Anthony Monroe. He says, I have a question about the season 12 ending. Don't want to spoil it for anyone, but is there going to lead into different kind of show? Or are we going to have a season 13? I don't know. Depends if they, what they do. I think we can confidently say that there's gonna be some form of a season 13.

Oh yeah? Can we not? I don't know. Can we? I've negotiated some of this shit already, Boett, boys. Yeah, there's gonna to be some shit. All right. Am I in it? We got Corey Smith.

He's got two questions for each of you. Oh, for Christ's sake. Ricky, whatever happened to the legal grow room and any advice on growing the bath dope? Make sure you have good fucking clones. Is that the key, Ricky? Clones and good fertilizer. Yeah. What if your clones are shit? Are you doomed?

It's not gonna be... Shitty weed. Shitty clones, shitty weed. Julian, what's a quick way to make cash without bringing the law in? You steal without getting caught. That's easy. Yeah, I mean, these questions are fucked.

That's dumb. Bubbles, if you could have the perfect breed of kitty, what would it be, and do you prefer living in a shed over trailer? Obviously, I prefer living in a shed, because that's where I fucking live. These are self-answering questions. Perfect breed of kitty. Recently, I'm into the lykois. The lykois.

I want to get a lykoi. What the fuck is... A.K.A. the weird cats. The weird cats. What the fuck do they look like? You Google it. Weird cats? Lykoi.

L-Y-K-O-I. I'm getting one. I like that ragdoll cat you had, man. That was cool. When you get baked, they just fucking slay you. What ragdoll cat? Jesus fucking Christ, man. That's what I'm getting.

If I see one of these things around my trailer, I'm fucking shooting it. Oh, no, that's even a cute one. There's even scarier ones. Let me see this fucking thing. Just a second. I got to get a scarier one. They're called the Weir Cat, and I'm cute one. There's even scarier ones. Let me see this fucking thing. Just a second. I got to get a scarier one. They're called the Weir Cat, and I'm getting one. And it'll fucking die.

Go to images. We go to images. I'll shoot it. Holy fuck it. Like, fuck. Oh, yeah, baby. I'm getting a Licoin. They are fucking decent.

Fucked. I don't like those cats. I'll speak that fucking thing. Ricky, you do not raise a hand to my licorice. But I'm getting one. If there's anybody out there that breeds licorice... Don't do it. Don't send it.

Send it to me. Hey, Reg. Ricky. Right on, man. I'm just... No, I'm shooting a fucking stupid, fucking dumb, shitty show. And you're ruining it. Bubbles and Julian, but...

All right? Rick, we're doing a fucking podcast. I can be there. Get off the phone with Reggie. Reggie, fuck off! I got some fucking killer mushrooms for you, too. Like Coy. While he's on the phone, check that nasty-looking creature out.

That's gorgeous. All right, you turtle tickler. We'll see you at two. It looks like a fucking rat or something. It does not look like a rat. It's a majestic kitty. The Licoi. Fucking Reg.

What does Reg want? What does Reg want? Oh, we got something cooking up. Can't get into a whole lot, but let's just see. I could be retired tomorrow. Yeah, right. Ricky, this is a question from James L. Can you bring back Amazon?

James L? James L. Oh. Can you bring back Amazon Alexa? Also, another idea is maybe have a flat earther on your podcast. That's a good idea. Great idea. Look up Marks Argent on YouTube.

He has over 50,000 subs. He will do it for free via Skype. Him and Ricky have a flat earth debate. Let's do it. Bring that the fuck on. I would love to have one of those stupid cocksuckers on here. I bet they're going to prove you wrong. Oh, yeah.

Fucking do it. Show me some're going to prove you wrong. Oh, yeah. Fucking do it. Show me some goddamn science that proves me wrong. Chris Hadfield says the Earth is not flat. It's not fucking flat, man. But they all think he's an actor that never went to space. He's an actor. Because they're fucked. He could be. He's a good actor, though, man. He's not

an actor. He's been to space, Ricky. He flew the goddamn fucking space shuttle up there. We don't know that. Yes, we do. We do. It's not that there's a fucking video of it. These people are fucked. Flat earthers can take a big hydraulic sock.

Okay, just wait. We've got Alex Vlasic. I think I know him. Oh, just wait. This is a good question. I think I know him. Oh, just wait. This is a good question. I think I know him. If you could travel to any point in the past, when would you go to and why? There's a good one.

If you had a time machine wrecking, you could go back into the past, where would you go and why? I'd probably go to Good Friday and save somebody's life. What? Jesus? Yeah, didn't he die on a Friday? I don't know, Ricky. He got put in the fucking, I think they wrapped him up in the sheet

and fired him in the tomb on the Friday, and I believe the cocksucker came back out on the Sunday. So I would have been late. That would have sucked. Imagine picking Friday and going, oh, fuck, I missed it. He's dead. Fuck.

Why would you go back there? What would you be trying to accomplish? Apparently it caused a lot of problems throughout history, him getting fucking killed. Bring him back. Did it cause a lot of problems? I think people are still pissed off about it. What, about Jesus getting crucified? Yeah, or was it a good thing?

I don't think it was a good thing. That's your thing. You'd go back to Good Friday and save Jesus. Well, do you only get one? You might only get one shot. Well, let me think. But you guys pick what you would pick, then. What would the date be that you punched into the coordinate machine?

How long ago was it? 1200? Ricky, it's 2018. Mm-hmm. I'm pretty sure Jesus died... in the year zero. Didn't he? That's kind of fucked.

What would it be? Friday, January 1st? I don't fucking know. Zero? I... I don't know, man. So Ricky, do you believe that he was killed, wrapped up in a sheet, fired in a fucking cave, rolled the fucking stone over the door, and then he fucking... He just...

Boop! He blipped up to space? That's what it says in the books. Books don't supposed to lie. Which books? The history books. The Bibble? That's one of them, but there's other ones too that talk about it.

You guys are still going on about this? What would you do then? What would I do? 1975, Thrilla in Manila, Muhammad Ali and Joe Frazier fight. You guys are still going on about this? What would you do then? What would I do? 1975, Thriller in Manila. Muhammad Ali and Joe Frazier fight. That's what you would fucking do. You'd be at ringside at the Thriller in Manila? Big time.

Drunk as fuck. Out of every fucking thing you could do, you want to go and bang Muhammad Ali? No, I want to go see that fight, man. But you already know who wins. But it'd be good to fucking be there and watch it go down, man. If you go back in time, do you forget everything? No, you retain your memories. That's fucking weird.

I don't like the way that works. Would you be beaten off ringside? Why would you say that? Well, Muhammad's there with no shirt on. Do you think those are shoes or feet? Perhaps. Those are shoes. feet? What? Perhaps. Those are sheet. Shoe feet.

But did you make them a color or did you make them a bug color? No, Ricky, you make them their own color. What do you think, pink? Yes. Hot pink. Hot pink, baby. All right. Where would you go to, Bubbles?

Where would I go to if I had a time machine? Yeah. That's a fucking good question. Where would you go to Bubbles? Where would I go to if I had a time machine? That's a fucking good question. I might go. I might go to a Red Soul Vine concert. Okay. Red Soul Vine's first show. The first time he played Phantom 309 live.

That would be decent. Johnny Cash fucking playing in that. Johnny Cash. Imagine him being in jail when he was playing that fucking show. Johnny Cash at the fucking. Johnny Cash in Nashville. Oh, shit. Can you take stuff with you? Because I'm going to need to bring a chainsaw.

Why? I got to cut down a big fucking wooden cross. Are you still fucking on that? You'd cut Jesus' cross down, would ya? How else are you gonna get him down? They didn't have stepwriters back then. Well, Ricky, he's pinned to the fucking thing. He's gonna fall right on his fucking face.

You'd slice it in the back so he would fall backwards. Backwards and rack his head off a big piece of lumber. Well, you just tell him, keep your fucking head against the log there, bud. You're coming down. Fuck. Yeah, that'd be the last thing we'd want to be fucking hacked down. Ricky, you know how fucking high he was? No.

I don't know how fucking high I'm going to be, though. Ricky, he's probably 20 fucking feet in the air no he's not he would have been how would they get him up that high they had the means they can hoist them on soldiers man they have cranes probably at him 20 feet in the air you're gonna saw it chainsaw the fucking crucifix in the back so he falls if you put a bunch of straw and shit down, or I don't know, some boughs. Some spruce boughs. Yeah, cushion the fall, or some cardboard boxes even. That's what they used in the movies. Those were in abundance back then.

Just go to Staples. See, you're ruining my... Hey, I'm cutting Jesus down here. I need some boxes to break his fall. Well, if you're going to bring a chainsaw, why don't you just bring a scissor lift with you? Just go... See? Check out the big brain on Julian.

There's an idea. So when you're gonna bring a chainsaw, bring a scissor lift, go out and pull the fucked pins out of his wrists. It's a great idea, Julian. Pull the stakes out of his wrists. You're gonna need a big fucking time machine to carry one of those, though.

You think they got him in the wrists? They say that they got him through the palms, but those would just rip right through, I would think. Yeah, I would think. Yeah, I would say. Poor Jesus. Must have been a bone holding him up there somewhere. Jesus, that must have been.

Wouldn't have been a good time. Wouldn't have been a good time for Jesus. Not a fucking very nice thing to do to somebody. No. Mel Gibson loved it, though. What? Mel Gibson loved it. He loved it. He couldn't get enough of it. What, did he get nailed in one of those? He Gibson loved it. He loved it.

He couldn't get enough of it. What did he get nailed in one of those? He made a lot of money off of it. No, but he made a movie about it and made it seem like it was a big party. Well, he's just partying because he fucking made millions, probably billions, right? This is Sean Patterson. He says you guys should have a Randy segment where he shares different cheeseburger recipes. He might be fucked, but I'm sure he'd come up with some good ones.

Fucking Randy. Then we'd have to deal with Randy, so it's not the greatest fucking idea. Not a good idea, really. It's not a bad fucking idea, I guess. Keith Calvin. Hey, Bubbles, Julian, and Ricky. I have a ticket for your Belfast show in September. Can't wait to see you fuckers. My question tonight is for Ricky. Ricky, my fiance is Dutch, so I was wondering if people from Poland are called Poles, how come people from Holland aren't called Hols?

I guess because of what it sounds like. What do you mean? Well, you're not going to take up a nickname or a shorter name that sucks. We should make up a new one for them right now. Fuck! What'd you do? I thought this was black. It's dark blue.

So, people from pole... From pole under... He says they're called poles. I don't know that that's accurate. I think that might be... Well, here's the difference, dumbass. Poland, pole. Holland, where the fuck are you getting hole? It'd be hall.

Holland. Hole. Holland would be hole. So, they'd be called halls, not holes. Correct. Halls. Ricky out Hall. Holland. Would be Holland. So they'd be called Halls, not Halls. Correct. Halls. Ricky outsmarted them. From this point on, they will be known as Halls.

Next. Jeff Crowther says, here are some guests I think you should have on the podcast. Shouldn't be that hard to book since you work with a few of them. Most of them are Canadian. Snow, the Canadian rapper. Great idea. We should have Snow on. Yep. Snow's a good dude. hard to book since you work with a few of them most of them are canadian snow the canadian rapper great idea we should have snow on yeah snow's a good dude snow's a great dude we could have him on reformer but i got reformed nice who else just wait ricky how does that song go i go? I can't think of it. I forget. I just remember.

Reformer. I like it. Reformed. It's Informer, Ricky. Or Informant. Informer. Informer. A salmonella and poison can of nails.

Leaky boom boom down. That's it. Weedly weedly weedly. Yeah. Yeah. Leaky boom boom good, reformer. Is that what it is? I think, isn't it?

A salmonella poison can of nails? A salmonella poison can of nails. A leaky boom-boom down. Skiddley-widdley-widdley-widdley-bob, yeah. Who else? The rest of the kids in the hall cast. Great idea. Kevin McDonald, Mark McKinney, and Dave Foley.

That would be decent. Yeah, that would be decent, man. That would be decent to have the kids in the hall on here. We had a couple on. Bruce McCullough. He's been on. He's been on, yeah. Scott Thompson.

It's not the same Manila thing as- A lot of people are saying they copied off the Kids in the Barn. What? There's a show called Kids in the Barn over in somewhere. They say that they copied off them. Ricky, there was not a show called Kids in the Barn. Fuck, I've been having, am I dreaming all this shit?

Where does it come from? Brian Vollmer from Helix. Great guest, let's book him today. Do you have his number, Ricky? Call him up right now. Fucking Jesus. Do you have his number? Where's the cell phone I bought you? What, the brain phone?

No, here. Do you have his number? I don't. I don't even know how to check. Buffs. Wow. Informer lyrics. What are they? Informer, yeah, no say daddy, me snow, me I go blame.

I licky boom boom down. What? Detective Manise, say daddy, me snow, me stab someone down. The Lane, I licky boom boom down. Okay, just wait. That's it. Back up. That's nothing to do with Salmonella. Say it again.

Informer. Yeah, no say daddy, me snow. That's it. It's not going to do with Salmonella. Say it again. Informer. Yeah, no say daddy, me snow, I go, I blame. I can't do that. Yeah, no say me and your daddy go, I blame. I lick your boom boom down. I lick your boom boom down. Detective Manise. Detective Manise.

Say daddy, me snow, me stab someone down. Snow me stab someone down. Does anybody know what this symbol means? That's it, man. Because it looks like Cuba. I don't stab someone down. Does anybody know what this symbol means? That's it, man. Because it looks like Cuba. I don't know, Ricky. Call Brian Vollmer up. Let's get him on the phone.

I don't know where my... Fuck. I don't know where my brain is going. We'll call him next time. Private Colonel Dancer. They're looking to have... He's fucking nuts. He's crazy.

He's in the insane asylum, I believe. I should get him out, though, for an afternoon. Rich Fulcher from Mighty Boosh and Drunk History. He would be fun. I mean, we've had Noel Fielding on, so why not have Rich on? All right. Where does he live? Sam Losko.

Can you please let this greasy caveman on your show? Fuck. No. No, thank you. Yeah, I don't think that's show. Fuck. No, thank you. Yeah, I don't think that's going to happen. No, thank you. He doesn't, he's gone somewhere, isn't he? He's up in Toronto.

I think he's homeless or something, isn't he? He's homeless? Mm-hmm. Poor fucker. He's not with wrestlers or something. Pete Latino says, I got a suggestion. You should make a character day where all three of you

dress up in your favorite costumes. Oh, that sounds like lots of fucking fun. I would love to do that. Julian would dress up as Patrick Swayze. Yeah, I was waiting for that. Who would you dress up as, Ricky?

Who's cool these days? Karen Strank Darby. Just search up 10 coolest people today. See what pops up. 10 coolest people in the world. What are we doing that for? I'm going to dress up as one of them. See who it comes up with.

10 coolest people in the world. People in the world. Fuck you guys. Boom. Give me a good one. The Dos Equis guy. He's going to be on there because he's the most interesting. Ten coolest people in the world.

Here we go. All right. Name them off. Just a second. These fucking. Number ten. Seth Rogen. You can pull that off.

You can pull that off, man. You look something like him. Okay. Okay. Ricky could dress You look something like him. Okay. Okay, Ricky could dress up as Seth Rogen. Yeah, that could be Ricky. Throw some glasses on. All right. I'm going to try.

Make your hair into a perm. Should I do one of his characters? We'll perm your hair and give you some glasses. Number nine, Kobe Bryant. That's going to be tricky. Kobe Bryant, we could do it. I could maybe try to. Little makeup, little basketball jersey.

Number eight, Christian Bale. Who's that? He was the Dark Knight, man. He's only like, isn't he like a buck thirty or something? I don't think I can pull him off. You could pull him off. I could pull him off if I had to. Angelina Jolie.

That would also be tricky. You would look good. I could do that. You could pull that off. I had to. Angelina Jolie. That would also be tricky. You would look good. I could do that. I could pull that off. I have the similar body. I can't believe she's in the top ten. We have similar bodies. Isn't she fucked?

Number six, Brad Pitt. I could definitely pull that off. People are always saying that I look like Brad Pitt. Really? You want to bang him. Number five, Leonardo DiCaprio. People say I look like him, too. I've been mistaken for him many times. Who fucking said that?

Lots of people are like, Leonardo, oh, sorry, thought you were someone else. It might have been the Ninja Turtle. Number four, Emma Watson. Fourth most coolest person in the world. Who is it? Number three, David Beckham.

Soccer guy. Soccer guy. Soccer dude. He's a good dude. Number two, J.K. Rowling. You know her. Who? J.K. Harry Potter?

She wrote Harry Potter? Number one, guess who it is? Barack Obama. Julian. No. Well, thanks, man. Morgan Freeman Oh fuck He is cool

He is fucking cool He is a cool dude Fucking cool Yeah I like him a lot You know who else is cool? Samuel L. Jackson He's very cool He just exudes the cool

Everything he says is fucking cool Really? Fucking love that. Samuel L. Jackson, he could say he's going to fucking take a shit, and it would sound cool. All right, here we go. We got another top ten here of the coolest. You know who number one is?

Who? Jesus. He's right behind Jesus. We have Bruce Lee. They're not around. Eminem is after Bruce Lee. Jesus and Bruce Lee should have hung out. Number three, Eminem. Number three, M&M. Number four, Chuck Norris.

Holy fuck, Michael Jackson. Five, Kurt Cobain. What is his list from 1980? Arnold Schwarzenegger, seven. Will Smith, eight. Oh, this is Julian's list. Will Smith? This is Julian's personal list.

David Bowie, ten. David Bowie's number ten. Jesus to David Bowie. David Bowie. Wow. David Bowie's number 10. David Bowie. Jesus to David Bowie. David Bowie. Wow, that's a weird list, man. Bowie. Bruce Lee, man, right after Jesus.

That's fucking crazy. Bruce Lee was fucking, he was cool as fuck. Yeah, he was. Until he took those pills that killed him. Is that what it was, pills? He took some,

just some regular, not crazy pills. He took some regular medicine and it fucked him up. I've heard about pills fucking people up. Julian, you had a story about that, didn't you? Oh, fuck, yeah. And this is a good one for you.

Okay, this guy from the UK, man, he was taking, what happened? Scott Purdy, he started taking Lyrica after breaking his foot go-karting. Lyrica. This could happen to you, bubs. Before you knew it, he stopped finding his girlfriend

at six months or any other woman attractive and started craving male attention Lyrica. This could happen to you, bubs. Before you knew it, he stopped finding his girlfriend a six-month or any other woman attractive and started craving male attention instead. Lyrica turned him gay? Turned him gay. That's crazy. No, there's no way. So he stopped taking the medicine for a few weeks, and the attraction for men simply went away.

However, he ended up breaking up with his girlfriend, getting back on the pills. Now he's happy that he feels, you know up breaking up with his girlfriend, getting back on the pills. Now he's happy that he feels, you know, real happy with his sexuality and he feels liberated and all that shit. So he went to being gay with the pills. I believe it. It did happen. So Lyrica turned him gay.

Well, you know, what if he hooks up with some guy and marries him and then all of a sudden they stop making this drug and then he's no longer gay? That's a fucking... a lyric it did not turn the man gay no that can't it's quite a claim but it did happen to me once when it wasn't lyrical ricky what are you talking about that time i think i told you when i had the bad migraine and took some pills at the old man's medicine cabinet. And they turned you gay?

I don't know if that was gay, but... Did he do anything? The guys looked a whole lot better for a couple days. Not you guys, but... By who? Strange guys. Ricky, what are you talking about? I don't know what happened.

I think it must have been the drugs. You took migraine pills and all of a sudden you wanted to bang fellas? I don't know what the pills were. They were in the old man's medicine cabinet. I just thought pills of any type would work. So did you make it to, like, first base with any dudes? No, no, no. Never got that crazy.

So you banged somebody? No. But you were just looking at fellas going, mm-mm. I just found myself yelling, you know, a guy would walk by and turn around and check out his ass. Okay, did you toss the wiener? The thoughts of some dudes? No, never got that far.

That were walking by you? You were checking out asses. I didn't take any more pills. Ricky. Okay. Jesus, Murphy. I'm just saying it's possible. I didn't know that,

that you were checking out fellas' asses because you were on pills. Maybe you were on mushrooms and you thought it was women. I mean, I still do it once in a while. But it's not like in an attracted way. It's like, hey, those are fucking nice pants. I wonder what kind they are. Ricky, I don't need to hear this, man.

Hey, you know what? I think it's time to maybe close the fucking door here. It's time to shut this one down, boys. Just be careful when you're taking new medications. I don't take new medications that might turn me gay. You should. I'm very confident that I could take Lyrica or anything else and not want to start smoking.

Let's do that. Let's get some Lyrica and do a test on it. Let's just try it. Next podcast, we're all taking Lyrica. Next podcast, I'm going to have taken Lyrica for a week. And then we're going to pull up some pictures. Ricky, you should also take them as well. It should be a challenge between you two.

I'll take them. The Lyrica challenge, Ricky. I'm not afraid to be gay for a couple days. Let's go to the doctor right now, get prescribed some Lyrica, take it for a week, and let's see who's gay next week.